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(ARROWS WHOOSHING)
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(BRIGHT, WHIMSICAL MUSIC
PLAYING)
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Do you want subtitles for any video?
-=[ ai.OpenSubtitles.com ]=-
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(WOMAN) Hello, hello, hello!
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Welcome to the show
where we talk
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about all the stuff
in marriages
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that no one else will,
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and usually
in a graphic manner.
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I'm your loyal host,
Gill, with a G, Langer,
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and I will be your guide
on this journey
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of self-discovery.
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We have one of our favorite
guests joining us.
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(LAUGHING) She's definitely
one of my favorites.
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You know her. You love her.
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That's right, folks.
Dr. Greta.
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She is back to teach us
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how to talk dirty
in the bedroom.
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(MOANS)
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And can I just say
that I am so ready?
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Because if I have to have
any more scheduled sex
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in order to make a baby,
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somebody's gonna lose
their fucking mind,
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and that someone is me.
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(MOANING) Make me
your little fucking cum slut.
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(JACK) Oh my God.
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-(GILL, ECHOING) Yeah!
-(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
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(BUZZING)
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(BILLIARD BALLS CLACK)
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(SNAKE HISSING)
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(MOANING) ...fucking me.
Oh, fuck!
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(JACK AND GILL
MOANING INTENSELY)
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(MOANING SLOWS, LAUGHING)
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(JACK) If that didn't make a
baby, I don't know what will.
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That was good, right?
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(EXHALES)
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It was, uh...
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(LAUGHS)
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That dirty talk was new.
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Yeah, I learned it
from the sexologist
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that we had on the show
last week.
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What'd you think?
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-I think, uh...
-(GIGGLES)
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...a sexologist is
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not a real thing.
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-(LAUGHS)
-Hey!
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It totally is too
a real profession.
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-Oh yeah? (LAUGHS)
-(GROANS)
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(LONG SIGH)
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What'd she major in in school?
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Doggy style?
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Yeah, probably cunnilingus
and other things.
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(LAUGHS)
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(SIGHS) Okay.
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(BEEPS)
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January 13th,
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three-ish.
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Jack has been consumed
with sex to get pregnant,
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so I thought I would spice
it up a little bit
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with some dirty talk
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courtesy of Dr. Greta
from episode 24.
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I thought it was hot.
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Jack seemed a little confused.
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Not confused.
The only confusing part was
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how my wife of 20 years
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turned into a cum slut.
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Jack is normally
a little more...
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-reserved in bed.
-Gill!
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Can you wrap it up? They're
gonna be here any minute.
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It's my job.
I'll be done in a second.
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-(WHIMSICAL MUSIC PLAYING)
-(SHOWER RUNNING)
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(GILL GASPS)
Oh! Shit, that's hot.
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Don't burn your pussy.
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Oh, too late.
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Hey, what are you doing?
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Huh? What are you
talking about?
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Where is the outfit?
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Oh, I'm not wearing that.
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No, Jack...
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-You promised.
-(JACK SCOFFS)
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I'll look ridiculous.
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No, you won't.
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You'll look hot.
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-(SMACKS)
-(JACK SIGHS)
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(JACK) You think
the chef heard us?
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(GILL SCOFFS) No way!
This house is huge!
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You're walking so fast.
I can't move in these things.
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(GILL) Now you know
how I feel when I wear Spanx.
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(SIGHS) Beauty is pain, baby.
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(JACK) How do people
wear these?
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(GROANS)
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(LEATHER STRETCHING)
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(GROANS) Look like...
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Enrique Iglesias's accountant.
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Okay, let's just get
a quick selfie...
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-Oh, yeah.
-...in front of the sign.
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Oh, wait a minute, hold on.
Let me just get this.
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-A little... There we go.
-What are you doing?
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-No!
-No, come on.
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They want us together
wearing their shit,
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looking hot, so...
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Oh, you can't post this,
sweetie.
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Yes, I have to post this,
sweetie.
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No, no, no.
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Come on, just give me one.
Give me one good one.
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-I know you got it in you.
-My students are gonna see.
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-Looking great. Crushing it.
-All right, you got it.
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Okay, which one do you like?
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Uh... what?
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This one. Great?
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-Great.
-Yes? Loving it.
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-Do it.
-Okay, fine.
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Thought you were
taking the night off.
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I am gonna take the night off.
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I just, you know,
the night hasn't started yet,
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and I need to post
a photo really quickly.
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-Right.
-Posting...
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I have to do this
really quickly.
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Happy birthday. Posted.
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-There you are.
-Hi.
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Just wanted to have
a, you know, moment
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just with my beautiful wife.
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(GIGGLING)
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You know what
I was thinking about today?
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-What?
-When I first saw you,
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20 years ago,
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across the bar
at the El Sombrero...
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Oh!
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...and how I knew right away
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that in 20 years,
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I would still be looking
at you.
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Oh my God!
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Twenty years!
Can you believe it?
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Yeah,
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I can,
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'cause I love you.
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(CLICKS TONGUE)
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I love you.
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-Happy birthday.
-Happy birthday.
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(BOTH CHUCKLE)
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God...
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that was so sweet.
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I mean, I'm just a great guy.
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-Can you do that again?
-What do you mean?
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-What?
-For the birthday episode?
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-Gilly...
-Come on, just a quick video.
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-The moment has passed.
-That was beautiful, honey.
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-Please. I want to record it.
-It was a real thing.
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I want everybody to see
how wonderful that was.
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-I gotta brush my teeth.
-What?
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Didn't you just brush
your teeth?
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(INHALING)
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(MELLOW MUSIC PLAYING)
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(GROANS)
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(SIGHS)
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(UNZIPPING)
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-(CYMBAL CRASHES)
-(MUSIC STOPS)
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(TENSE MUSIC PLAYING)
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(COUGHING, SPITTING)
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(COUGHING)
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What the fuck?
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-Hello?
-Oh, God. Oh, God.
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Is this a surprise party?
You know I hate surprises.
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No, I would not do that
to you.
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-I know.
-They're supposed to be here.
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Hey, we should, uh,
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we should try not
to overshare tonight, okay?
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Oh, by "we," you mean "me"?
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Yes, I mean you,
you silly little...
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-Do I?
-Mm-hmm.
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(LAUGHING)
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-You know what I hate?
-No.
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Patio furniture.
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-This is perfect.
-Why is there no furniture?
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-Oh, guys!
-(LAUGHTER)
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(SCREAMS, LAUGHS)
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-Hi!
-Happy birthday!
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Oh my God!
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It's so good to see you.
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-Happy birthday.
-(LAUGHING)
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You guys look so great.
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-Thank you for coming.
-You too.
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Come on in. (LAUGHS)
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-Wow!
-Do you love it?
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Oh! Got brick?
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(GILL) I know.
We got so much brick.
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Where did you find this place?
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I found it through this
incredible rental company,
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and the show gave me
a stipend for the party.
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What?! Wow!
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The podcast must be doing
really well.
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-Yeah.
-Congratulations. (LAUGHS)
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-(SCREAMING)
-Oh, God!
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-Oh!
-Oh, boy! Come here!
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What?! Look at this...
Let me... Oh.
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-(JACK) Hey, guys.
-Hugging royalty. Look at you.
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Wow. Happy birthday, Jack.
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(JACK) Thank you.
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-What's up, guys?
-(GILL) Tell him.
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-He looks good, right?
-Incredible color, confidence.
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Look at the leather pants.
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Oh... I can see your penis.
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-Oh.
-There it is. Right there.
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Slightly to the right
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and, uh, presenting
the appetizers.
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Oh, hello. (LAUGHS)
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How many cows died
to create these pants?
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00:08:34,682 --> 00:08:36,917
No, they're actually
vegan leather.
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00:08:36,951 --> 00:08:38,819
Oh, good,
'cause I'm lactose-intolerant.
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Here, just give it a feel.
Like...
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-Come on. Step into my hand.
-It's so real.
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-Who wants a drink?
-Let's get a drink.
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00:08:45,059 --> 00:08:46,293
(GILL) Let's get a drink.
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00:08:46,327 --> 00:08:48,763
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
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-Look at this spread!
-I know, it's great, right?
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00:08:51,565 --> 00:08:53,434
-May I? Thank you.
-Yes.
216
00:08:53,467 --> 00:08:54,902
I cannot believe we're 40!
217
00:08:54,935 --> 00:08:56,303
Oh, I know!
218
00:08:56,337 --> 00:08:57,705
I look so young though.
219
00:08:57,738 --> 00:08:59,840
-You do.
-Isn't it freaky?
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Is there a, uh, is there
a restroom I could use?
221
00:09:01,909 --> 00:09:03,577
Yes, just inside to the left.
222
00:09:03,611 --> 00:09:05,012
-Thank you.
-Mm-hmm.
223
00:09:06,247 --> 00:09:08,015
You guys have been together
longer than you've been apart.
224
00:09:08,049 --> 00:09:10,551
-No, I know, it's true.
-Now we're starting a family.
225
00:09:10,584 --> 00:09:12,486
-(GASPS) You're pregnant?
-Oh...
226
00:09:12,521 --> 00:09:14,488
No. No, no, no, no, no.
Not yet.
227
00:09:14,523 --> 00:09:15,990
-Oh.
-We're trying though.
228
00:09:16,023 --> 00:09:18,926
-Oh, that's amazing.
-Mm-hmm. It is amazing.
229
00:09:18,959 --> 00:09:21,662
You guys have been together
for a really long time.
230
00:09:21,695 --> 00:09:23,264
-Yeah.
-What's your secret?
231
00:09:23,297 --> 00:09:24,732
Well, we're open.
232
00:09:24,765 --> 00:09:26,801
Uh, we weren't always open.
It's kinda newish.
233
00:09:26,834 --> 00:09:29,336
Well... (MUTTERING)
When Ish had cancer,
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00:09:29,370 --> 00:09:31,906
he wasn't feeling that sexy,
so he was like, you know,
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00:09:31,939 --> 00:09:33,140
"Please,
go get your needs met,"
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and, you know, I did,
and then... (LAUGHS)
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When he got healthier,
I was like,
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00:09:36,277 --> 00:09:38,279
"You should go partake
as well, because you have
239
00:09:38,312 --> 00:09:40,314
a lot of kinks that I don't
have the endurance for."
240
00:09:40,347 --> 00:09:42,750
Does that make sense?
I was like, "Get out there."
241
00:09:42,783 --> 00:09:43,884
But we have a lot of rules.
242
00:09:43,918 --> 00:09:45,619
January to May,
we are not open.
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00:09:45,653 --> 00:09:46,887
That's cuffing season.
244
00:09:46,921 --> 00:09:48,756
We can't be in a state
where our mothers live.
245
00:09:48,789 --> 00:09:50,858
(ISH) The bathroom
has a bidet!
246
00:09:50,891 --> 00:09:53,427
I mean, I didn't use it.
I just... (CLEARS THROAT)
247
00:09:53,461 --> 00:09:55,696
-(LAUGHS)
-What'd I miss?
248
00:09:55,729 --> 00:09:58,332
They are starting a family.
249
00:10:01,402 --> 00:10:02,703
(GROANS)
250
00:10:03,838 --> 00:10:05,005
(GROANS)
251
00:10:05,039 --> 00:10:06,240
(CAR DOOR CLOSES)
252
00:10:06,273 --> 00:10:07,608
(GROANS)
253
00:10:12,379 --> 00:10:17,351
Well, well, well, if it isn't
the one and only Mo.
254
00:10:17,384 --> 00:10:18,853
Wow! Logan!
255
00:10:18,886 --> 00:10:21,388
I had no idea
you would be here.
256
00:10:22,323 --> 00:10:24,992
-Yes, you did.
-Yeah, I did.
257
00:10:29,263 --> 00:10:30,764
-How you doin'?
-Great.
258
00:10:30,798 --> 00:10:32,166
-Yeah?
-Yeah. You?
259
00:10:32,967 --> 00:10:34,368
I'm great.
260
00:10:35,035 --> 00:10:36,637
(COUGHING)
261
00:10:37,705 --> 00:10:38,739
Are you drunk?
262
00:10:38,772 --> 00:10:41,709
Yeah... pre-partied a little.
263
00:10:44,745 --> 00:10:45,980
-What?
-Did you get your...
264
00:10:46,013 --> 00:10:47,214
Did you get your nose pierced?
265
00:10:47,248 --> 00:10:52,052
No! I mean, yes,
but, like, many years ago.
266
00:10:52,086 --> 00:10:53,420
It's cute.
267
00:10:54,221 --> 00:10:55,456
Vodka?
268
00:10:55,489 --> 00:10:56,724
Your favorite.
269
00:10:56,757 --> 00:10:58,627
Yeah, when I was 20.
Get that outta here.
270
00:10:58,659 --> 00:10:59,827
(LOGAN LAUGHS)
271
00:10:59,860 --> 00:11:01,295
I can't believe you.
272
00:11:01,328 --> 00:11:03,797
-You look, uh...
-(MO SIGHS)
273
00:11:03,831 --> 00:11:05,866
You look healthy.
274
00:11:05,900 --> 00:11:08,169
-"Healthy"?
-Yeah.
275
00:11:08,202 --> 00:11:09,970
Am I a dairy cow?
276
00:11:10,004 --> 00:11:13,073
-NPO Sunday, surgery Monday.
-That is too long. It's risky.
277
00:11:13,107 --> 00:11:14,509
Plan is for left awake
frontotemporal...
278
00:11:14,543 --> 00:11:17,211
Fine, just try not to waste
any more of the breast milk.
279
00:11:17,244 --> 00:11:19,180
-(MAN) Okay, thank you.
-(WOMAN) Sorry?
280
00:11:19,213 --> 00:11:21,882
-(MAN) Bye-bye.
-(WOMAN) Lana? Hello?
281
00:11:21,916 --> 00:11:22,850
Hello?
282
00:11:22,883 --> 00:11:24,451
You're cutting out.
283
00:11:24,485 --> 00:11:25,654
(SIGHS)
284
00:11:30,525 --> 00:11:31,660
You all right?
285
00:11:31,692 --> 00:11:33,360
Yeah. Fine.
286
00:11:34,995 --> 00:11:37,064
Try to have a bit of fun.
287
00:11:38,365 --> 00:11:39,200
I will.
288
00:11:39,233 --> 00:11:41,101
Um, let's try
not to have too much fun
289
00:11:41,135 --> 00:11:43,337
because we do need to leave
at five tomorrow morning
290
00:11:43,370 --> 00:11:45,005
to be back in time for Rocco.
291
00:11:45,039 --> 00:11:48,809
Sorry, what was that?
I just got lost in those...
292
00:11:48,842 --> 00:11:50,744
gray-green eyes of yours.
293
00:11:50,778 --> 00:11:54,782
God, you are B-E-A-utiful,
aren't you?
294
00:11:54,815 --> 00:11:56,951
-Sam...
-Stunning.
295
00:11:56,984 --> 00:11:58,252
Stop it.
296
00:11:58,285 --> 00:11:59,853
Can't, but I think I--
297
00:11:59,887 --> 00:12:01,789
-No, stop it.
-Okay, okay, okay, okay.
298
00:12:01,822 --> 00:12:03,958
-They're waiting for us.
-Don't be silly now.
299
00:12:03,991 --> 00:12:07,228
(ALL SHOUTING, LAUGHING)
300
00:12:07,261 --> 00:12:08,796
Oh, shit, is that Logan?!
301
00:12:08,829 --> 00:12:10,731
In the flesh, baby!
302
00:12:10,764 --> 00:12:11,765
(LAUGHING)
303
00:12:11,799 --> 00:12:13,602
I forgot about that!
304
00:12:13,635 --> 00:12:15,903
-Hey, Penelope.
-Mo!
305
00:12:15,936 --> 00:12:17,972
-Hi, how are you?
-Just really brilliant.
306
00:12:18,005 --> 00:12:19,406
-Thank you. Yeah.
-Great.
307
00:12:19,440 --> 00:12:21,676
-How are you?
-Great. Yeah.
308
00:12:21,710 --> 00:12:22,810
That's great.
309
00:12:22,843 --> 00:12:24,745
-Where's Ben?
-Oh, he, uh,
310
00:12:24,778 --> 00:12:26,113
he couldn't make it.
311
00:12:26,146 --> 00:12:27,448
You know, he's working
on Senator Bishop's campaign.
312
00:12:27,481 --> 00:12:30,985
So he's, uh, he's
in New Orleans or Baton Rouge.
313
00:12:31,018 --> 00:12:32,820
Somewhere in Louisiana,
that's all I know.
314
00:12:32,853 --> 00:12:34,288
-Do you ever see each other?
-You know,
315
00:12:34,321 --> 00:12:37,559
healthy relationships do not
actually require proximity.
316
00:12:37,592 --> 00:12:38,993
Good sex does.
317
00:12:39,026 --> 00:12:42,096
I'm gonna text Gill 'cause
I don't know where they are.
318
00:12:42,129 --> 00:12:44,999
How are you anyway, Logan?
How's the band?
319
00:12:45,032 --> 00:12:47,468
Good. Good, yeah.
You know, we're between tours.
320
00:12:47,502 --> 00:12:51,305
Between tours. That's so cool
that you're still touring!
321
00:12:51,338 --> 00:12:53,807
I think I heard your shit
on the oldies station
322
00:12:53,841 --> 00:12:54,975
the other day.
323
00:12:55,009 --> 00:12:57,411
-Yacht Rock Radio.
-That's horseshit.
324
00:12:57,444 --> 00:12:58,613
(LAUGHING)
325
00:12:58,647 --> 00:13:00,781
-Oh, hello.
-Hi.
326
00:13:01,616 --> 00:13:02,651
Have we met?
327
00:13:02,684 --> 00:13:04,118
Oh, shit. Uh, Penelope.
328
00:13:04,151 --> 00:13:06,220
Yeah, I got this. I got this.
Go ahead.
329
00:13:06,253 --> 00:13:07,221
Logan, Penelope.
330
00:13:07,254 --> 00:13:10,692
This is my beautiful wife,
Penelope.
331
00:13:10,725 --> 00:13:13,227
(LIGHT MUSIC PLAYING)
332
00:13:13,260 --> 00:13:16,163
-Pleasure.
-Pleasure's all mine.
333
00:13:16,196 --> 00:13:17,965
(SAM) We all went
to college together.
334
00:13:17,998 --> 00:13:20,834
All of us, and then you,
Jack, and I roomed together
335
00:13:20,868 --> 00:13:22,036
freshman, sophomore year.
336
00:13:22,069 --> 00:13:23,270
-Yeah, roomie.
-Till he went off
337
00:13:23,304 --> 00:13:25,172
to become a famous rock star,
as you do.
338
00:13:25,205 --> 00:13:26,940
-(LOGAN) Look at me now.
-You and Mo
339
00:13:26,974 --> 00:13:28,142
dated each other for a while.
340
00:13:28,175 --> 00:13:29,843
-Long time, actually.
-Not necessary
341
00:13:29,877 --> 00:13:30,944
to the conversation at all.
342
00:13:30,978 --> 00:13:32,212
Until you left her
for the band.
343
00:13:32,246 --> 00:13:33,581
We didn't need that tidbit
to tell the story.
344
00:13:33,615 --> 00:13:36,917
-Can you guys get in...
-(SAM) Jack! Jackie-Jack-Jack!
345
00:13:36,950 --> 00:13:38,052
Honey, honey.
346
00:13:38,085 --> 00:13:39,853
-(LAUGHING)
-(JACK) Oh my God.
347
00:13:39,887 --> 00:13:41,355
(GILL SCREAMS)
348
00:13:42,590 --> 00:13:43,591
Doctor.
349
00:13:43,625 --> 00:13:45,326
-Doctor.
-Doctor.
350
00:13:45,359 --> 00:13:46,628
-Doctor.
-Doctor.
351
00:13:46,661 --> 00:13:48,028
-Doctor!
-Doctor!
352
00:13:48,062 --> 00:13:49,731
(YELLING, GRUNTING)
353
00:13:49,764 --> 00:13:50,998
(LAUGHING)
354
00:13:51,031 --> 00:13:52,801
-Oh, buddy!
-Good to see you, man.
355
00:13:52,833 --> 00:13:53,967
-Good to see you.
-(SIGHS)
356
00:13:54,001 --> 00:13:55,969
-Oh, wow.
-(LAUGHS)
357
00:13:57,905 --> 00:13:59,139
Hey, Jackie.
358
00:13:59,173 --> 00:14:00,307
Loges.
359
00:14:01,342 --> 00:14:03,143
("WHEN WE WERE YOUNG"
BY THE WILD WILD PLAYING)
360
00:14:03,177 --> 00:14:05,846
Ah, thanks for comin', man.
361
00:14:05,879 --> 00:14:07,948
-Missed you.
-Missed you too.
362
00:14:07,981 --> 00:14:10,618
I missed both of you! Yeah!
363
00:14:10,652 --> 00:14:11,952
(LAUGHING)
364
00:14:11,985 --> 00:14:14,054
-Oh my God, you look so good!
-Yeah?
365
00:14:14,088 --> 00:14:15,289
-Do you like?
-You're trendy.
366
00:14:15,322 --> 00:14:16,791
-You're like a celebrity.
-Hair.
367
00:14:16,825 --> 00:14:17,991
-No.
-Yes, hair.
368
00:14:18,025 --> 00:14:19,927
Yeah, let me see the booty.
The booty.
369
00:14:19,960 --> 00:14:21,161
-Okay.
-It's good, right?
370
00:14:21,195 --> 00:14:23,464
Oh, yeah, it's like
a little basketball.
371
00:14:23,497 --> 00:14:25,499
-So many squats.
-It's great.
372
00:14:25,533 --> 00:14:27,201
I am so happy to see you!
373
00:14:27,234 --> 00:14:29,103
And bummed that Ben
couldn't make it.
374
00:14:29,136 --> 00:14:31,038
I know, but, you know,
it's to be expected.
375
00:14:31,071 --> 00:14:33,608
("WHEN WE WERE YOUNG"
CONTINUES)
376
00:14:36,678 --> 00:14:38,646
(INAUDIBLE)
377
00:14:40,347 --> 00:14:42,216
-(GILL) Everybody?
-(ALL CHATTERING)
378
00:14:42,249 --> 00:14:44,918
Hello? Hi, I just...
Hi, hello.
379
00:14:44,952 --> 00:14:46,788
Excuse me. Hello?
(SCREAMS) Hello?!
380
00:14:46,821 --> 00:14:47,856
-Oh!
-(CHATTER STOPS)
381
00:14:47,888 --> 00:14:50,457
Sorry.
382
00:14:50,491 --> 00:14:53,862
I just wanted to say a really
quick thank you so much
383
00:14:53,894 --> 00:14:55,229
to all of you for coming
384
00:14:55,262 --> 00:14:58,198
to celebrate Jack and I's
40th birthdays,
385
00:14:58,232 --> 00:15:00,968
and I know that some of you
even left your babies
386
00:15:01,001 --> 00:15:02,970
for the very first time.
387
00:15:03,003 --> 00:15:05,840
-Thank you!
-(GILL) Oh, thank you.
388
00:15:05,874 --> 00:15:08,075
(GILL LAUGHS) Um, so...
389
00:15:08,108 --> 00:15:10,645
cheers to having
a great night!
390
00:15:10,678 --> 00:15:13,313
(ALL CHEERING)
391
00:15:15,784 --> 00:15:17,284
Jack?
392
00:15:18,318 --> 00:15:19,453
Do you wanna...
393
00:15:19,486 --> 00:15:21,054
say what you were gonna...
394
00:15:21,088 --> 00:15:22,590
say to everybody?
395
00:15:23,157 --> 00:15:25,025
-You okay?
-Yeah.
396
00:15:25,058 --> 00:15:26,861
You're up, Jackie.
397
00:15:26,895 --> 00:15:28,730
It's funny with old friends.
398
00:15:28,763 --> 00:15:31,231
You can not see them for years
and then,
399
00:15:31,265 --> 00:15:33,066
suddenly you're
in the same room,
400
00:15:33,100 --> 00:15:35,670
and it's like no time's passed
at all.
401
00:15:37,070 --> 00:15:38,706
I guess the opposite
works too.
402
00:15:38,740 --> 00:15:40,909
You could be
with someone forever,
403
00:15:40,941 --> 00:15:42,510
and suddenly,
something happens,
404
00:15:42,544 --> 00:15:46,146
and it feels like
you don't even know 'em.
405
00:15:46,180 --> 00:15:48,348
(SAM) Like how you suddenly
dress like Rod Stewart.
406
00:15:48,382 --> 00:15:51,351
-(LAUGHTER)
-I love Rod Stewart.
407
00:15:52,453 --> 00:15:53,454
So... (CLAPS)
408
00:15:53,487 --> 00:15:56,457
Anyway, I thought
it might be a nice thing
409
00:15:56,490 --> 00:16:00,394
to go back before the times
of Facebook and Instagram,
410
00:16:00,427 --> 00:16:02,864
and have us all
just be together.
411
00:16:02,897 --> 00:16:04,097
No distractions.
412
00:16:04,131 --> 00:16:05,999
-Just like it used to be.
-(GILL CHUCKLES)
413
00:16:06,033 --> 00:16:07,902
So, Gill and I...
414
00:16:07,936 --> 00:16:09,938
-Mmm.
-...thought that, uh,
415
00:16:09,970 --> 00:16:11,606
before we get
the party started,
416
00:16:11,639 --> 00:16:14,274
it might be, uh, a nice idea
417
00:16:14,308 --> 00:16:18,312
for everyone to surrender
their phones
418
00:16:18,345 --> 00:16:21,215
for the night
into this unplug box.
419
00:16:21,248 --> 00:16:23,885
-Okay, you can't be serious.
-I am.
420
00:16:23,918 --> 00:16:25,219
Fuck! No!
421
00:16:25,252 --> 00:16:27,020
I've heard
of these parties before.
422
00:16:27,054 --> 00:16:28,355
Jackie, take it.
423
00:16:28,388 --> 00:16:29,791
(PHONE CLATTERS)
424
00:16:29,824 --> 00:16:30,892
-So close.
-Oh!
425
00:16:30,925 --> 00:16:31,992
(LAUGHTER)
426
00:16:32,025 --> 00:16:33,528
You're not taking
my bloody phone.
427
00:16:33,561 --> 00:16:35,329
Yeah, I mean,
I could get a work call.
428
00:16:35,362 --> 00:16:38,365
-This is my worst nightmare.
-Gilly, you agreed to this?
429
00:16:38,398 --> 00:16:41,435
I did because, guess what,
it's only for one night!
430
00:16:41,468 --> 00:16:44,171
And that's only a couple hours
if you think about it.
431
00:16:44,204 --> 00:16:45,472
-So come on!
-Watch this.
432
00:16:45,507 --> 00:16:47,709
I'll show you how it's done.
Here's the phone.
433
00:16:47,742 --> 00:16:49,076
This one's mine.
434
00:16:49,109 --> 00:16:50,912
-Just gonna put it in the box.
-(GILL) Just like that.
435
00:16:50,945 --> 00:16:52,412
Gill, show 'em how it's done.
436
00:16:52,446 --> 00:16:54,014
Um... one second.
437
00:16:54,047 --> 00:16:55,182
Guys, wanna take a selfie?
438
00:16:55,215 --> 00:16:56,784
-Can I? Just before...
-Yeah. Oh, yeah.
439
00:16:56,818 --> 00:16:58,920
Before we do it,
just, can we get in?
440
00:16:58,953 --> 00:17:00,487
(CHATTER)
441
00:17:00,522 --> 00:17:02,322
-Cheese!
-Good job.
442
00:17:02,356 --> 00:17:05,192
(SAM) Mo, is that your
top-secret government phone?
443
00:17:05,225 --> 00:17:06,360
Uh, no, that is my personal.
444
00:17:06,393 --> 00:17:08,061
I would never surrender
my work phone.
445
00:17:08,095 --> 00:17:09,229
Plus, I don't have it.
446
00:17:09,263 --> 00:17:11,331
Oh, so we have
your full attention?
447
00:17:11,365 --> 00:17:13,200
Just one night.
Goes right in the box.
448
00:17:13,233 --> 00:17:15,302
No one's gonna look at it.
I promise.
449
00:17:15,335 --> 00:17:18,606
-Bye, BradBerry.
-Wait, so, the... (LAUGHS)
450
00:17:18,640 --> 00:17:21,208
No one is having
any access to their phone
451
00:17:21,241 --> 00:17:23,076
for the entire night?
452
00:17:23,110 --> 00:17:25,013
That's the idea, Penelope.
453
00:17:25,045 --> 00:17:26,648
It's fine, Penelope.
454
00:17:26,681 --> 00:17:28,148
Oh, okay.
455
00:17:28,181 --> 00:17:30,083
Great. What if Lana
needs something?
456
00:17:30,117 --> 00:17:31,953
-She'll be fine.
-And it's an emergency?
457
00:17:31,986 --> 00:17:33,253
You'll be fine. It's just...
458
00:17:33,287 --> 00:17:36,223
Look, you promised, babe.
459
00:17:36,256 --> 00:17:38,125
Just put your phone
in the box.
460
00:17:38,158 --> 00:17:41,361
(LIGHT MUSIC PLAYING)
461
00:17:41,395 --> 00:17:43,865
-(JACK) Give it a try.
-I need to let Lana know,
462
00:17:43,898 --> 00:17:45,132
first of all.
463
00:17:47,001 --> 00:17:48,235
Okay.
464
00:17:48,268 --> 00:17:50,705
Just waiting to see
if she got the text.
465
00:17:54,876 --> 00:17:56,209
Okay.
466
00:17:57,144 --> 00:17:59,514
-She got it.
-(JACK) Great.
467
00:18:03,585 --> 00:18:06,054
Ah. Very good.
468
00:18:06,119 --> 00:18:07,354
And back over here.
469
00:18:07,387 --> 00:18:09,189
Oh, he's here, he's here.
470
00:18:09,222 --> 00:18:12,860
Uh, hold on, just gonna erase
a few dick pics.
471
00:18:12,894 --> 00:18:14,194
Any time this year.
472
00:18:14,227 --> 00:18:16,229
-Dick, dick...
-Now you are just showing off.
473
00:18:16,263 --> 00:18:18,198
-All right. Thank you.
-(JACK) All right.
474
00:18:18,231 --> 00:18:20,200
Okay, I might need
to get this back later on
475
00:18:20,233 --> 00:18:22,503
-in case a client needs me...
-Nope. Boo!
476
00:18:22,537 --> 00:18:23,470
No-work weekend.
477
00:18:23,504 --> 00:18:24,939
Okay, you guys,
it's not that easy.
478
00:18:24,973 --> 00:18:26,340
(LAUGHING) I have a job.
479
00:18:26,373 --> 00:18:28,308
(JACK) All right, so I think,
480
00:18:28,342 --> 00:18:32,412
uh, that leaves just one more.
481
00:18:32,446 --> 00:18:35,248
-Honey?
-(GILL) Yes, just one second.
482
00:18:35,282 --> 00:18:37,451
Everybody get in! Come on!
483
00:18:37,484 --> 00:18:39,353
-Selfie, come on.
-Smile!
484
00:18:39,386 --> 00:18:41,956
-Honey, honey, honey, come on.
-Come on, Penelope.
485
00:18:41,990 --> 00:18:44,191
One pic. Ah! Cheese! Yes!
486
00:18:44,224 --> 00:18:45,893
-You got it.
-Looking hot. Okay, great.
487
00:18:45,927 --> 00:18:49,063
-Wait, wait. Hold on, wait.
-Into the box you go.
488
00:18:49,097 --> 00:18:50,364
One more. One more.
489
00:18:50,397 --> 00:18:51,298
Last one.
490
00:18:51,331 --> 00:18:53,133
-(GROANS)
-Oh...
491
00:18:53,166 --> 00:18:55,036
-Boo! Ugh!
-Yeah.
492
00:18:55,069 --> 00:18:56,303
-Okay.
-Perfect.
493
00:18:56,336 --> 00:18:58,305
-Got your content?
-Yes, one second.
494
00:18:58,338 --> 00:18:59,707
-Let me just post.
-Gill.
495
00:18:59,741 --> 00:19:01,609
I'm putting it up.
This is the last one.
496
00:19:01,643 --> 00:19:03,310
Please put your phone
in the box.
497
00:19:03,343 --> 00:19:05,713
And we are... live.
498
00:19:05,747 --> 00:19:06,848
Out.
499
00:19:07,481 --> 00:19:09,349
And...
500
00:19:09,383 --> 00:19:11,653
-Kiss it.
-I love you, miss you so much.
501
00:19:11,686 --> 00:19:15,188
Okay. All right! So...
502
00:19:15,222 --> 00:19:18,191
I'm gonna put this one inside
and, uh,
503
00:19:18,225 --> 00:19:20,061
let's get this party started.
504
00:19:20,094 --> 00:19:21,996
-(CHEERING)
-Right?
505
00:19:22,030 --> 00:19:23,998
-Be right back!
-Okay!
506
00:19:24,032 --> 00:19:26,199
-I hope you guys are hungry!
-Starving!
507
00:19:26,233 --> 00:19:28,603
-Yay, no phones!
-(LAUGHTER)
508
00:19:28,636 --> 00:19:30,938
-(GILL) I know...
-It'll be fine, Pen, Okay?
509
00:19:30,972 --> 00:19:31,939
It's gonna be...
510
00:19:31,973 --> 00:19:34,575
(LIGHT MUSIC PLAYING)
511
00:19:37,444 --> 00:19:38,746
(SIGHS)
512
00:19:44,251 --> 00:19:47,088
Everybody,
as you may have noticed
513
00:19:47,121 --> 00:19:49,123
in our birthday invite,
514
00:19:49,157 --> 00:19:50,525
the mention of, uh,
515
00:19:50,558 --> 00:19:54,227
a special culinary adventure
for this evening
516
00:19:54,261 --> 00:19:56,296
that I happened to plan
all by myself.
517
00:19:56,329 --> 00:19:58,498
So, without further ado,
518
00:19:58,533 --> 00:20:01,836
I would like to introduce you
to my new best friend,
519
00:20:01,869 --> 00:20:03,004
Chef Sasha,
520
00:20:03,037 --> 00:20:05,973
who will be running through
the menu for this evening.
521
00:20:06,007 --> 00:20:09,209
-(ALL EXCLAIMING)
-Chef, please,
522
00:20:09,242 --> 00:20:10,745
take it away.
523
00:20:12,080 --> 00:20:13,213
Oh.
524
00:20:13,246 --> 00:20:15,783
Hello, beautiful people,
525
00:20:15,817 --> 00:20:18,720
and welcome to what I'm sure
is going to be
526
00:20:18,753 --> 00:20:20,387
a memorable evening.
527
00:20:20,420 --> 00:20:23,191
As Jack mentioned, I am a chef
528
00:20:23,223 --> 00:20:24,592
who has won multiple awards
529
00:20:24,625 --> 00:20:26,661
in cannabis-infused
fine dining.
530
00:20:26,694 --> 00:20:29,362
We're getting high!
This party just got good!
531
00:20:29,396 --> 00:20:31,799
I am definitely going
to get paranoid.
532
00:20:31,833 --> 00:20:34,135
Tonight isn't just about
getting you super high.
533
00:20:34,168 --> 00:20:35,268
Anyone can do that.
534
00:20:35,302 --> 00:20:37,270
Tonight is about the food.
535
00:20:37,304 --> 00:20:39,040
I am a food-centric chef
536
00:20:39,073 --> 00:20:40,575
with accents of cannabis.
537
00:20:40,608 --> 00:20:42,476
It's all
portion-controlled magic
538
00:20:42,510 --> 00:20:43,978
for a four-course journey,
539
00:20:44,011 --> 00:20:47,215
the end of which, hopefully,
you will be super high.
540
00:20:47,247 --> 00:20:48,516
-Wow. (LAUGHS)
-Yes.
541
00:20:48,549 --> 00:20:50,151
All right, well,
let's kick it off
542
00:20:50,184 --> 00:20:51,719
with an amuse-bouche.
543
00:20:51,753 --> 00:20:52,754
Jack is holding...
544
00:20:52,787 --> 00:20:54,555
Please, what is this,
a game show?
545
00:20:54,589 --> 00:20:56,323
...tempura cannabis leaves
546
00:20:56,356 --> 00:20:59,160
with one milligram of THC
per serving
547
00:20:59,193 --> 00:21:02,163
from the sativa-dominant
strain, Squirt Juice.
548
00:21:02,196 --> 00:21:03,463
-Did that this morning.
-Wow.
549
00:21:03,497 --> 00:21:05,265
This should leave you
feeling relaxed,
550
00:21:05,298 --> 00:21:07,001
focused, and euphoric.
551
00:21:07,034 --> 00:21:10,104
And who couldn't use a little
more euphoria, am I right?
552
00:21:10,138 --> 00:21:11,205
I know I could.
553
00:21:11,239 --> 00:21:12,573
Now, if you'll excuse me,
554
00:21:12,607 --> 00:21:14,675
I'm going to go set
some intentions
555
00:21:14,709 --> 00:21:16,711
and cook the fuck
out of some weed.
556
00:21:16,744 --> 00:21:19,514
Yes. All right.
Thank you, Sasha.
557
00:21:19,547 --> 00:21:21,949
-It's Chef Sasha.
-(JACK) Oh, right. Sorry.
558
00:21:24,085 --> 00:21:26,053
-Mm.
-Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
559
00:21:26,087 --> 00:21:28,122
(LIGHT MUSIC PLAYING)
560
00:21:28,156 --> 00:21:29,857
Oh, right, yes.
561
00:21:31,092 --> 00:21:32,960
Pass those out
before they get cold.
562
00:21:34,095 --> 00:21:35,530
All right, let's dig in.
563
00:21:35,563 --> 00:21:37,430
(MO) Oh, I get tested
for work.
564
00:21:37,464 --> 00:21:39,066
Oh, it leaves your system
in 36 hours.
565
00:21:39,100 --> 00:21:42,670
-So I've been told.
-Oh, thank you, Gill and Jack.
566
00:21:42,703 --> 00:21:44,906
I haven't eaten "a pot"
since high school.
567
00:21:44,939 --> 00:21:46,339
-You lie!
-That's true.
568
00:21:46,373 --> 00:21:48,242
That's the basis
of our friendship.
569
00:21:48,276 --> 00:21:50,578
How much of this should I eat?
570
00:21:50,611 --> 00:21:52,513
(JACK) How much...
do you want?
571
00:21:52,547 --> 00:21:55,448
(LAUGHS)
You're eating all of it.
572
00:21:55,482 --> 00:21:57,819
-Mmm.
-(GILL) Well, well, well.
573
00:21:57,852 --> 00:21:59,854
Surprise, surprise.
574
00:21:59,887 --> 00:22:01,589
Surprise, surprise.
575
00:22:01,622 --> 00:22:04,725
Oh, Jack, Jack,
you son of a bitch.
576
00:22:04,759 --> 00:22:06,459
Thank you.
577
00:22:06,493 --> 00:22:07,895
Pen, you want one?
578
00:22:07,929 --> 00:22:09,362
-No, thanks.
-Just take--
579
00:22:09,396 --> 00:22:10,698
I don't want to have
to pump and dump.
580
00:22:10,731 --> 00:22:12,567
Weren't you gonna do that
anyway if you drank?
581
00:22:12,600 --> 00:22:14,401
-I'm not drinking.
-Cheers.
582
00:22:14,434 --> 00:22:15,803
(PENELOPE)
...gonna drive us home...
583
00:22:15,837 --> 00:22:19,140
-(GILL) Cheers, my darling.
-Happy birthday.
584
00:22:19,173 --> 00:22:20,842
(GILL) Happy birthday.
585
00:22:23,443 --> 00:22:26,446
(BRIGHT MUSIC PLAYING)
586
00:22:28,249 --> 00:22:31,018
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
587
00:22:31,052 --> 00:22:33,254
(LAUGHTER)
588
00:22:33,287 --> 00:22:35,690
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
589
00:22:37,225 --> 00:22:38,993
No. Then apply.
590
00:22:39,026 --> 00:22:40,027
(GILL LAUGHS)
591
00:22:41,662 --> 00:22:43,998
Oh! Oh!
592
00:22:50,538 --> 00:22:53,007
-(LAUGHS)
-(ISH) To the plus-ones.
593
00:22:53,440 --> 00:22:56,476
The plus-ones.
594
00:22:56,510 --> 00:22:58,679
And long may we continue
to be, frankly,
595
00:22:58,713 --> 00:23:01,816
the best part of the fucking
awful frat parties.
596
00:23:01,849 --> 00:23:03,150
(ISH LAUGHS)
597
00:23:03,184 --> 00:23:04,451
I have missed you.
598
00:23:04,484 --> 00:23:08,122
-I have missed you!
-(ISH CHUCKLES)
599
00:23:08,155 --> 00:23:11,424
I'm very glad
you're doing better.
600
00:23:11,458 --> 00:23:13,861
Thank you. Me too.
It's been a...
601
00:23:13,895 --> 00:23:16,063
It's been a long road.
(CHUCKLES)
602
00:23:17,131 --> 00:23:18,633
-So how's teaching?
-(GILL) Oh.
603
00:23:18,666 --> 00:23:20,635
I didn't tell you? I quit.
604
00:23:20,668 --> 00:23:23,504
-That's huge.
-I've never been happier.
605
00:23:23,537 --> 00:23:24,972
(LAUGHS) No, really.
606
00:23:25,006 --> 00:23:27,909
It's like I'm finally living
my life the way
607
00:23:27,942 --> 00:23:29,810
I was always supposed to.
608
00:23:29,844 --> 00:23:31,846
(PENELOPE) I hope
you've slowed down a bit.
609
00:23:31,879 --> 00:23:34,849
You aren't doing those
terrible 80-hour weeks still.
610
00:23:34,882 --> 00:23:37,718
Oh, no, I'm definitely doing
those terrible 80-hour weeks,
611
00:23:37,752 --> 00:23:40,121
but you know me, I love it.
(LAUGHS)
612
00:23:40,154 --> 00:23:42,323
What about you? Are you...
are you back at work?
613
00:23:42,356 --> 00:23:44,358
I'm just doing a little bit
of consulting
614
00:23:44,392 --> 00:23:45,693
for some old UK clients.
615
00:23:45,726 --> 00:23:48,796
It's funny. My job was
such a massive part
616
00:23:48,829 --> 00:23:52,465
of who I am, and now I just...
617
00:23:52,499 --> 00:23:56,469
I don't know, I'm so tied
to the little sausage, I...
618
00:23:56,504 --> 00:23:58,806
I can't bear leaving him.
619
00:23:58,839 --> 00:24:00,473
Other people's kids,
they suck.
620
00:24:00,508 --> 00:24:01,776
They suck. Kids are the worst.
621
00:24:01,809 --> 00:24:03,744
-They're little shits.
-Ugh, little shits.
622
00:24:03,778 --> 00:24:05,813
-Their grubby little hands...
-Throw 'em in the garbage.
623
00:24:05,846 --> 00:24:07,715
...and their grubby
little minds.
624
00:24:07,748 --> 00:24:10,351
I never thought this podcast
was gonna take off.
625
00:24:10,384 --> 00:24:11,986
I was just doing it for fun,
626
00:24:12,019 --> 00:24:15,356
but now, people are actually
stopping me on the street
627
00:24:15,389 --> 00:24:17,558
and asking me for advice. Yes!
628
00:24:17,591 --> 00:24:19,894
It's like I'm actually
connecting with people,
629
00:24:19,927 --> 00:24:22,964
and they're listening
to what I'm saying.
630
00:24:23,998 --> 00:24:26,000
Oh, I'm sorry.
What were you saying?
631
00:24:26,033 --> 00:24:27,168
-(LAUGHS)
-Damian, stop!
632
00:24:27,201 --> 00:24:29,904
You at least look like
you've got your shit together.
633
00:24:29,937 --> 00:24:32,573
-(ISH) Don't we all?
-Ow! Oh! Knee to the balls!
634
00:24:32,606 --> 00:24:35,576
-Got the knee to-- No!
-(PENELOPE) Mmm, no.
635
00:24:35,609 --> 00:24:37,678
-(LAUGHTER, CHATTER)
-Yeah, no.
636
00:24:37,712 --> 00:24:42,116
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
637
00:24:42,149 --> 00:24:45,319
That episode all about
your balls, "Jack's Sack."
638
00:24:45,353 --> 00:24:47,021
That shit is hilarious!
639
00:24:47,054 --> 00:24:50,057
I shared it with the entire
neurological department.
640
00:24:50,091 --> 00:24:52,193
-Wow, huh, big hospital?
-(SAM) Yeah, huge.
641
00:24:52,226 --> 00:24:54,996
(SARCASTICALLY) Yeah,
I'm glad they enjoyed it.
642
00:24:55,029 --> 00:24:58,065
She must be making
so much money by now, right?
643
00:24:58,099 --> 00:25:00,735
You can quit
that teaching job of yours.
644
00:25:00,768 --> 00:25:02,803
Well, don't really want
to quit.
645
00:25:02,837 --> 00:25:05,006
-I love teaching.
-I'm just saying.
646
00:25:05,039 --> 00:25:07,675
You could stay at home
with a baby,
647
00:25:07,708 --> 00:25:09,643
get a gym, get super ripped
648
00:25:09,677 --> 00:25:11,412
and be like a... DILF.
649
00:25:11,445 --> 00:25:12,847
(LOUD SMACK)
650
00:25:12,880 --> 00:25:14,648
Oof.
651
00:25:14,682 --> 00:25:16,317
What's your poison these days?
652
00:25:16,350 --> 00:25:18,753
Um... tequila works.
653
00:25:18,786 --> 00:25:21,122
-Really?
-(MO CHUCKLES)
654
00:25:21,155 --> 00:25:23,424
I vaguely remember
someone swearing it off
655
00:25:23,457 --> 00:25:24,959
after our gig in Lawrence.
656
00:25:24,992 --> 00:25:27,695
Yeah, well, that's because
those country-ass margaritas
657
00:25:27,728 --> 00:25:31,132
gave me acid reflux,
and then I couldn't sing.
658
00:25:31,165 --> 00:25:34,035
I don't have to worry
about that anymore, so...
659
00:25:35,036 --> 00:25:37,571
I'm glad it all worked out
for you, Mo.
660
00:25:37,605 --> 00:25:39,573
Yeah, I'm thriving.
661
00:25:39,607 --> 00:25:42,043
That little bundle of joy
662
00:25:42,076 --> 00:25:45,713
has hijacked my wife's libido,
but tonight,
663
00:25:45,746 --> 00:25:48,282
I'm taking that back,
Liam Neeson-style,
664
00:25:48,315 --> 00:25:50,017
because tonight...
665
00:25:50,051 --> 00:25:52,787
there's no baby around
to fuck things up.
666
00:25:52,820 --> 00:25:55,489
(CHALK SQUEAKING ON CUE STICK)
667
00:25:55,524 --> 00:25:57,058
I think you might be...
668
00:25:57,091 --> 00:25:58,692
good with the chalk.
669
00:25:58,726 --> 00:26:00,661
To old friends.
670
00:26:01,695 --> 00:26:03,230
Is that what we are?
671
00:26:03,664 --> 00:26:05,232
Yeah, I hope so.
672
00:26:06,901 --> 00:26:09,336
-To friendship.
-Uh-huh.
673
00:26:09,370 --> 00:26:11,072
("HIGHER" BY CHERRY TIGER
PLAYING)
674
00:26:11,105 --> 00:26:13,040
♪ Turning the corner,
turning the page ♪
675
00:26:13,074 --> 00:26:14,909
♪ And every single second
with you ♪
676
00:26:14,942 --> 00:26:16,744
♪ Feels like a party to me ♪
677
00:26:16,777 --> 00:26:18,379
-Get in, honey.
-Get in, babe.
678
00:26:18,412 --> 00:26:19,548
-Get in.
-(LAUGHING)
679
00:26:19,580 --> 00:26:20,848
-Smile! Smile!
-(LAUGHING)
680
00:26:20,881 --> 00:26:23,884
Just kidding!
There's no phone!
681
00:26:23,918 --> 00:26:26,720
Abajo, al centro, y adentro.
682
00:26:26,754 --> 00:26:28,756
Ready? No, no, don't...
683
00:26:28,789 --> 00:26:30,891
Don't down it. Fuck. Cheers.
684
00:26:30,925 --> 00:26:34,161
♪ My, my, you're a gold mine,
won't you rush my way ♪
685
00:26:34,195 --> 00:26:37,031
-I love you so much.
-Cheers. You're the best.
686
00:26:37,064 --> 00:26:39,633
-Um, so, the...
-(PENELOPE LAUGHS)
687
00:26:39,667 --> 00:26:41,635
♪ Feels like a party to me ♪
688
00:26:41,669 --> 00:26:43,904
God, it's like I don't know
the words are not coming.
689
00:26:43,938 --> 00:26:45,906
They're coming out my mouth,
coming out my mouth...
690
00:26:45,940 --> 00:26:47,641
-(SHUSHING)
-Okay, okay...
691
00:26:47,675 --> 00:26:48,776
♪ Higher ♪
692
00:26:48,809 --> 00:26:50,611
♪ You take me higher ♪
693
00:26:50,644 --> 00:26:53,380
Nobody puts Jack
in the corner!
694
00:26:53,414 --> 00:26:55,883
(BELLS JINGLING GENTLY)
695
00:26:55,916 --> 00:26:58,520
-(BELLS JINGLING RAPIDLY)
-(SONG ENDS)
696
00:26:58,553 --> 00:27:00,121
Dinner is served.
697
00:27:00,154 --> 00:27:03,390
(ELEGANT OPERATIC
CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING)
698
00:27:09,964 --> 00:27:11,899
How's everyone feeling so far?
699
00:27:11,932 --> 00:27:13,767
-(CHATTER)
-(GILL) I mean, great.
700
00:27:13,801 --> 00:27:15,803
You know, I'm not
feeling anything, really.
701
00:27:15,836 --> 00:27:17,171
-Okay.
-I'm fine.
702
00:27:17,204 --> 00:27:19,340
Good. We're working
on a gradual high here
703
00:27:19,373 --> 00:27:21,942
to ensure that everyone has
an enjoyable ride.
704
00:27:21,976 --> 00:27:24,945
I'd like to provide you
with an enjoyable ride.
705
00:27:24,979 --> 00:27:26,814
-What?
-Two dishes in front of you.
706
00:27:26,847 --> 00:27:29,850
First, our soffritto tartlet
with tonnato.
707
00:27:29,884 --> 00:27:32,587
That's coming in
at five milligrams of THC.
708
00:27:32,621 --> 00:27:34,155
And on the larger plate,
you'll see
709
00:27:34,188 --> 00:27:35,990
our poached halibut
with leek vinaigrette.
710
00:27:36,023 --> 00:27:39,927
That is coming in
at 20 milligrams of THC.
711
00:27:39,960 --> 00:27:42,696
Both use
the sativa-dominant strain
712
00:27:42,730 --> 00:27:44,231
called Thug Pussy
713
00:27:44,265 --> 00:27:46,967
to keep you feeling
energized and aroused.
714
00:27:47,001 --> 00:27:50,971
Oh, and to my vegan brother,
blessings.
715
00:27:51,005 --> 00:27:53,040
In front of you,
you'll see the vegan risotto
716
00:27:53,073 --> 00:27:55,510
with forest mushrooms
and black truffle oil,
717
00:27:55,544 --> 00:27:58,012
also 20 milligrams of THC
718
00:27:58,045 --> 00:28:00,080
and will get you
feeling aroused.
719
00:28:00,114 --> 00:28:01,583
Thank you so much.
720
00:28:01,616 --> 00:28:02,816
This looks so awesome.
721
00:28:02,850 --> 00:28:04,485
Thanks, "Cef Shasha."
722
00:28:04,519 --> 00:28:05,719
(LAUGHS)
723
00:28:05,753 --> 00:28:07,388
-"Cef Sasha."
-(LAUGHTER)
724
00:28:07,421 --> 00:28:10,191
-I got it! One more, I got it.
-You can do it.
725
00:28:10,224 --> 00:28:12,092
Thank you, Chef Sasha.
726
00:28:12,126 --> 00:28:13,260
(LAUGHS) I did it!
727
00:28:13,294 --> 00:28:16,063
It happens.
You're not having a stroke.
728
00:28:16,096 --> 00:28:18,499
But definitely don't think
about having a stroke.
729
00:28:18,533 --> 00:28:20,467
(GILL) Oh, God.
Do you taste pennies?
730
00:28:20,501 --> 00:28:21,670
-(LAUGHTER)
-Enjoy.
731
00:28:21,702 --> 00:28:23,003
Oh, thank you.
732
00:28:23,037 --> 00:28:23,971
Enjoy.
733
00:28:24,004 --> 00:28:26,608
-Enjoy.
-Yes. Thank you.
734
00:28:26,641 --> 00:28:28,510
Okay, this looks delicious.
735
00:28:28,543 --> 00:28:29,843
It does.
736
00:28:29,877 --> 00:28:32,279
I wish I could take
a picture and post it.
737
00:28:32,313 --> 00:28:35,716
-Take one with your mind.
-(SILVERWARE CLATTERS)
738
00:28:35,749 --> 00:28:37,751
Did she say 20 milligrams?
739
00:28:37,785 --> 00:28:39,954
-That sounds like a lot.
-It is a lot.
740
00:28:39,987 --> 00:28:44,491
I... I think that's a totally
normal amount, right?
741
00:28:44,526 --> 00:28:45,759
Can we eat, or...?
742
00:28:45,793 --> 00:28:48,195
Yes, yes! Of course!
Bon appetit!
743
00:28:48,229 --> 00:28:52,099
(ELEGANT OPERATIC
CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING)
744
00:28:59,541 --> 00:29:02,176
(INAUDIBLE)
745
00:29:13,988 --> 00:29:17,124
(ELEGANT OPERATIC
CLASSICAL MUSIC CONTINUES)
746
00:29:38,045 --> 00:29:41,248
(GLASSES CLINK AND ECHO)
747
00:29:45,319 --> 00:29:46,920
(GLASSES CLINK AND ECHO)
748
00:29:47,722 --> 00:29:48,856
(GLASS CLINKING)
749
00:29:48,889 --> 00:29:50,791
(AUDIBLE CHATTER RESUMES)
750
00:29:50,824 --> 00:29:52,594
Hello, hello. Sorry. Hi.
751
00:29:52,627 --> 00:29:53,927
-(GILL) Hi.
-Hi.
752
00:29:53,961 --> 00:29:57,031
I just wanted to say
to our amazing couple,
753
00:29:57,064 --> 00:29:58,999
Jack and Gill, thank you
754
00:29:59,033 --> 00:30:02,369
for being such
a beautiful example
755
00:30:02,403 --> 00:30:05,105
of love and living life
to the fullest.
756
00:30:05,139 --> 00:30:06,840
-Well done, you two.
-That's it?
757
00:30:06,874 --> 00:30:08,442
Thank you.
That's so sweet, Mo.
758
00:30:08,475 --> 00:30:12,246
You guys have always been
so solid, like, since college.
759
00:30:12,279 --> 00:30:14,982
Just feels like
you figured it out early.
760
00:30:15,015 --> 00:30:17,251
I mean, Jack definitely
figured it out early.
761
00:30:17,284 --> 00:30:18,787
Remember, he had
that whole spreadsheet
762
00:30:18,819 --> 00:30:20,120
of why Gill should date him.
763
00:30:20,154 --> 00:30:21,955
-Like, scientifically.
-I helped you with that!
764
00:30:21,989 --> 00:30:23,390
I thought that was sexy!
765
00:30:23,424 --> 00:30:25,326
-I knew what I wanted.
-(GILL) I loved it.
766
00:30:25,359 --> 00:30:27,729
-Deeply unsexy. Um...
-(GILL LAUGHS)
767
00:30:27,762 --> 00:30:29,764
You know, it obviously worked
768
00:30:29,798 --> 00:30:33,033
'cause now you're
this beautiful, perfect couple
769
00:30:33,067 --> 00:30:36,470
who always, you know,
puts the other person first.
770
00:30:36,504 --> 00:30:40,908
Yeah, your... love and support
771
00:30:40,941 --> 00:30:43,745
is truly inspiring.
772
00:30:43,778 --> 00:30:46,013
-Aw.
-We love you and...
773
00:30:46,046 --> 00:30:48,882
you know, we want
your continued success
774
00:30:48,916 --> 00:30:50,785
in all things, in teaching,
775
00:30:50,819 --> 00:30:53,087
in your incredibly timely
podcast,
776
00:30:53,120 --> 00:30:55,222
your journey to parenthood.
777
00:30:55,255 --> 00:30:58,859
Um... Jack's pants
and shirt combo.
778
00:30:58,892 --> 00:31:00,160
-(ALL CHUCKLING)
-I mean...
779
00:31:00,194 --> 00:31:02,162
We just want... whatever it's
trying to say,
780
00:31:02,196 --> 00:31:04,331
I hope it gets to speak
its truth.
781
00:31:04,365 --> 00:31:05,899
Speaks to me.
782
00:31:05,933 --> 00:31:08,068
Um, anyway, we love it,
we love all of it
783
00:31:08,102 --> 00:31:09,937
and all of you,
so happy birthday,
784
00:31:09,970 --> 00:31:11,472
and I am done.
Thank you. Cheers.
785
00:31:11,506 --> 00:31:14,007
-(GILL) Thank you! I love you!
-(ALL CHEERING)
786
00:31:14,041 --> 00:31:15,909
(ALL SHOUTING "EYES")
787
00:31:17,812 --> 00:31:19,514
-Eyes!
-Eyes!
788
00:31:19,547 --> 00:31:21,315
(LAUGHING)
789
00:31:21,348 --> 00:31:24,385
Oh, and I love you all
so, so much!
790
00:31:24,418 --> 00:31:26,053
(LAUGHING) I'm sorry.
791
00:31:26,086 --> 00:31:28,188
And I just want to thank
each and every one of you
792
00:31:28,222 --> 00:31:31,925
for being here celebrating
our 40th birthdays.
793
00:31:31,959 --> 00:31:34,027
It means the world to me.
I love you all.
794
00:31:34,061 --> 00:31:36,230
-You're so welcome.
-(GILL LAUGHS)
795
00:31:36,263 --> 00:31:39,266
How much... higher
are we gonna get?
796
00:31:39,299 --> 00:31:41,736
-(LOGAN) Not high enough.
-(LAUGHING)
797
00:31:41,770 --> 00:31:43,237
My fingers are tingling.
798
00:31:43,270 --> 00:31:46,173
(LAUGHTER)
799
00:31:46,206 --> 00:31:49,009
Sorry, Gill, where
would I find the bathroom?
800
00:31:49,042 --> 00:31:51,679
-One more time?
-The bathroom.
801
00:31:51,713 --> 00:31:53,615
The bathroom? Oh, oh.
802
00:31:53,648 --> 00:31:54,948
I know. (LAUGHS)
803
00:31:54,982 --> 00:31:56,417
-It's upstairs.
-Um, it's upstairs.
804
00:31:56,450 --> 00:31:58,419
-There is one downstairs.
-But there is one...
805
00:31:58,452 --> 00:32:00,588
-Does she need to shower?
-You need to take a shower?
806
00:32:00,622 --> 00:32:03,123
(BOTH) You have to go upstairs
if you have to shower...
807
00:32:03,157 --> 00:32:04,992
(BOTH) But if it's just
the powder room...
808
00:32:05,025 --> 00:32:06,828
-She's pooping!
-...it's to the left.
809
00:32:06,861 --> 00:32:08,696
(GILL AND DAMIAN LAUGHING)
810
00:32:08,730 --> 00:32:10,230
I'll find it.
811
00:32:10,264 --> 00:32:12,366
Hey, want me to come with you?
812
00:32:13,000 --> 00:32:15,035
-To the loo?
-Yeah.
813
00:32:15,068 --> 00:32:17,371
-Why?
-Well, maybe I could help.
814
00:32:18,272 --> 00:32:19,874
-With what?
-Whatever you want...
815
00:32:19,908 --> 00:32:21,509
No. No.
816
00:32:21,543 --> 00:32:24,846
(WHIMSICAL MUSIC PLAYING)
817
00:32:24,879 --> 00:32:28,248
(CHATTER CONTINUES)
818
00:32:28,282 --> 00:32:31,351
(LAUGHTER)
819
00:32:37,157 --> 00:32:39,426
(DOOR CREAKS OPEN)
820
00:32:39,460 --> 00:32:42,564
(BRIGHT MUSIC PLAYING)
821
00:32:57,712 --> 00:32:59,012
(RATTLING)
822
00:32:59,046 --> 00:33:01,415
(CHATTER CONTINUES)
823
00:33:01,448 --> 00:33:03,651
(DRAWER SLIDING)
824
00:33:04,819 --> 00:33:06,654
(LAUGHTER)
825
00:33:08,222 --> 00:33:10,558
(TENSE MUSIC PLAYING)
826
00:33:17,866 --> 00:33:19,968
(BRIGHT MUSIC PLAYING)
827
00:33:20,000 --> 00:33:23,136
(CHATTER AND LAUGHTER
CONTINUE)
828
00:33:30,277 --> 00:33:32,279
-(MUSIC ENDS)
-(CRICKETS CHIRPING)
829
00:33:32,312 --> 00:33:33,046
Lana?
830
00:33:33,080 --> 00:33:34,782
Lana! Oh, hi! Hi!
831
00:33:34,816 --> 00:33:35,917
Can you hear me?
832
00:33:35,950 --> 00:33:38,485
Hi! How's Rocco? Is he okay?
833
00:33:39,086 --> 00:33:41,488
Oh! He didn't!
834
00:33:41,523 --> 00:33:44,391
He drank it all?
That's fantastic!
835
00:33:44,424 --> 00:33:46,026
Oh, well done.
836
00:33:46,393 --> 00:33:47,729
Aw!
837
00:33:48,295 --> 00:33:49,697
Aw!
838
00:33:50,297 --> 00:33:51,666
Aw...
839
00:33:51,699 --> 00:33:53,968
Lana, will you remember
to keep checking the monitor
840
00:33:54,002 --> 00:33:56,938
in case he gets unswaddled
while he's sleeping?
841
00:33:56,971 --> 00:33:58,405
The swaddle?
842
00:33:58,438 --> 00:34:00,307
S...
(IN AMERICAN ACCENT) Swaddle.
843
00:34:00,340 --> 00:34:02,075
(NORMAL VOICE)
Yeah. The... just...
844
00:34:02,109 --> 00:34:03,678
it happened to me
the other night.
845
00:34:03,711 --> 00:34:07,015
-(BANGS TABLE)
-(LAUGHTER)
846
00:34:07,047 --> 00:34:08,783
-Oh my God!
-(SPLUTTERING)
847
00:34:08,816 --> 00:34:12,452
I know it's not cool to do at
the birthday party, I'm sorry.
848
00:34:12,486 --> 00:34:13,821
(EXHALES)
849
00:34:13,855 --> 00:34:15,289
Because I have to, okay?
850
00:34:15,322 --> 00:34:18,026
We'll be... we'll be back
first thing, um,
851
00:34:18,058 --> 00:34:20,093
at seven... maybe six.
852
00:34:20,127 --> 00:34:22,095
Let's say six.
We'll be back by six.
853
00:34:22,129 --> 00:34:24,197
Yeah. Okay, have
a great night, Lana.
854
00:34:24,231 --> 00:34:26,000
Thank you. I will.
855
00:34:26,034 --> 00:34:27,602
Thank you. Thank you so much.
856
00:34:27,635 --> 00:34:29,504
Okay. Love you. (LAUGHS)
857
00:34:29,537 --> 00:34:32,205
I... Well, I do.
Um, okay, thank you, Lana.
858
00:34:32,239 --> 00:34:33,908
Thank you. Bye.
859
00:34:33,942 --> 00:34:34,976
Bye.
860
00:34:35,009 --> 00:34:36,844
Yeah, bye.
861
00:34:36,878 --> 00:34:38,947
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
862
00:34:38,980 --> 00:34:40,615
(DAMIAN) Ishaan, I...
863
00:34:41,381 --> 00:34:42,316
(EXHALES)
864
00:34:42,349 --> 00:34:44,852
I am madly in love with you.
865
00:34:44,886 --> 00:34:46,521
(ALL LAUGHING)
866
00:34:46,554 --> 00:34:50,725
I am so... I've been in love
with you for ten years, and...
867
00:34:50,758 --> 00:34:52,760
I just want to continue
loving you forever.
868
00:34:52,794 --> 00:34:55,763
Oh, I've had this stupid
fucking ring in my pocket.
869
00:34:55,797 --> 00:34:57,865
(LAUGHTER)
870
00:34:57,899 --> 00:35:00,535
(MUFFLED CHATTER)
871
00:35:03,170 --> 00:35:05,840
(PHONE DINGS AND CHIMES)
872
00:35:05,873 --> 00:35:08,843
(LAUGHTER AND CHATTER
CONTINUES)
873
00:35:11,045 --> 00:35:13,648
(EMERGENCY ALERT TONE PLAYING)
874
00:35:15,783 --> 00:35:19,252
(ALL PHONES VIBRATING
AND CHIMING AT ONCE)
875
00:35:24,458 --> 00:35:27,361
-(PHONES CLATTERING)
-(DRAMATIC MUSIC INTENSIFYING)
876
00:35:27,394 --> 00:35:29,463
I've been, like... (SIGHS)
...like, trying to find
877
00:35:29,496 --> 00:35:33,034
the courage to just ask you
to spend your life with me.
878
00:35:33,067 --> 00:35:34,434
Wha...
879
00:35:34,468 --> 00:35:36,436
And just make me
the happiest human.
880
00:35:36,470 --> 00:35:39,040
-(PENELOPE) There's a missile!
-(ALL SCREAMING)
881
00:35:39,073 --> 00:35:42,110
There's a missile!
It's coming to California,
882
00:35:42,142 --> 00:35:43,544
and we need to find shelter!
883
00:35:43,578 --> 00:35:45,980
(LAUGHING) Okay,
Penelope's cut off.
884
00:35:46,014 --> 00:35:47,381
We all got the same text.
885
00:35:47,414 --> 00:35:50,118
"Ballistic missile threat.
886
00:35:50,150 --> 00:35:51,586
Seek immediate shelter."
887
00:35:51,619 --> 00:35:53,054
It's probably just a drill,
Pen.
888
00:35:53,087 --> 00:35:55,890
"This is not a drill."
That is the last line.
889
00:35:55,923 --> 00:35:59,192
Hold-hold on, hold on, wait.
You got your phone?
890
00:35:59,226 --> 00:36:00,995
(PENELOPE) Yeah,
I was checking on Rocco,
891
00:36:01,029 --> 00:36:02,096
and I got the text.
892
00:36:02,130 --> 00:36:03,263
-How did you find the box?
-What?
893
00:36:03,296 --> 00:36:05,767
How did you find the box?
I hid it.
894
00:36:05,800 --> 00:36:08,703
It wasn't hard. Why aren't you
freaking the fuck out?
895
00:36:08,736 --> 00:36:11,072
We all got the same text!
896
00:36:11,105 --> 00:36:13,273
Fuck! Fuck!
897
00:36:14,108 --> 00:36:15,375
What is it... what is this?
898
00:36:15,409 --> 00:36:17,111
Oh my God,
I'm freaking the fuck out.
899
00:36:17,145 --> 00:36:18,378
(DAMIAN) Holy shit.
900
00:36:18,412 --> 00:36:20,180
Yeah, did you?
Oh my God, what do we do?
901
00:36:20,213 --> 00:36:21,448
Okay, let me call a friend.
902
00:36:21,481 --> 00:36:22,750
-Try your folks.
-Okay.
903
00:36:22,784 --> 00:36:24,719
-Did you call Lana?
-Not since I got this.
904
00:36:24,752 --> 00:36:26,821
-I'll text her.
-Oh, fuck. Going to voicemail.
905
00:36:26,854 --> 00:36:29,489
How much... how much time
do we have? Does anyone know?
906
00:36:29,524 --> 00:36:31,592
Shouldn't we be going
somewhere with less windows?
907
00:36:31,626 --> 00:36:33,493
-Is anybody getting through?
-(ISHAAN) No!
908
00:36:33,528 --> 00:36:36,296
I did not survive cancer
to go down like this!
909
00:36:36,329 --> 00:36:37,632
It's just getting
a busy signal?
910
00:36:37,665 --> 00:36:39,232
-(GILL) Me too.
-Lines must be jammed.
911
00:36:39,266 --> 00:36:40,568
(MO) Okay, I just got
a text from Ben.
912
00:36:40,601 --> 00:36:42,335
This could be happening
any minute,
913
00:36:42,369 --> 00:36:43,604
so we need to seek
immediate shelter.
914
00:36:43,638 --> 00:36:45,272
What shelter
should we be seeking?
915
00:36:45,305 --> 00:36:47,041
-There's a basement!
-(MO) Great, let's go.
916
00:36:47,075 --> 00:36:49,209
Okay.
917
00:36:49,242 --> 00:36:51,145
Should I know where that is?
918
00:36:51,179 --> 00:36:53,181
-No, I know!
-(MO) Lead the way!
919
00:36:53,213 --> 00:36:54,247
I can do that!
920
00:36:54,281 --> 00:36:57,217
(ALL SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY)
921
00:36:57,250 --> 00:36:59,787
We're going this way!
Go this way!
922
00:36:59,821 --> 00:37:02,222
(INTENSE MUSIC PLAYING)
923
00:37:02,255 --> 00:37:04,192
(ALL SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY)
924
00:37:04,224 --> 00:37:05,993
-Wait!
-Hurry up, for fuck's sake!
925
00:37:06,027 --> 00:37:08,062
I can't go any faster!
926
00:37:08,096 --> 00:37:09,362
The chef. Ow!
927
00:37:09,396 --> 00:37:11,498
(GROANING IN PAIN)
928
00:37:11,532 --> 00:37:13,568
-Shit, are you okay, buddy?
-It's my ankle.
929
00:37:13,601 --> 00:37:16,137
-My ankle.
-Jack! Jack! What happened?
930
00:37:16,170 --> 00:37:19,941
(ALL SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY)
931
00:37:19,974 --> 00:37:21,441
-(GROANING)
-Honey, you got it.
932
00:37:21,475 --> 00:37:23,177
These fucking pants!
933
00:37:23,211 --> 00:37:25,546
-Are you okay?
-Go, go, go, go!
934
00:37:25,580 --> 00:37:27,882
(GILL) Dead end!
This way! This way!
935
00:37:27,915 --> 00:37:30,051
(ALL SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY)
936
00:37:30,084 --> 00:37:33,253
(CHAOTIC SCREAMING)
937
00:37:34,055 --> 00:37:35,757
Come on!
938
00:37:35,790 --> 00:37:38,291
No! Go back! Go back!
939
00:37:38,325 --> 00:37:43,164
(CHAOTIC SCREAMING CONTINUES)
940
00:37:43,197 --> 00:37:44,866
Oh my God! Oh my God!
941
00:37:44,899 --> 00:37:46,701
-Ow! My leg!
-Pick him up!
942
00:37:46,734 --> 00:37:50,938
-No, your leg! Go, go!
-(ALL SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY)
943
00:37:50,972 --> 00:37:53,141
Wait! Wait!
944
00:37:53,174 --> 00:37:56,077
(CHAOTIC SCREAMING CONTINUES)
945
00:37:56,110 --> 00:37:58,411
(MUSIC INTENSIFYING)
946
00:37:59,647 --> 00:38:01,381
-Wait, wait, wait!
-Are we all here?
947
00:38:01,414 --> 00:38:02,884
-(GILL) Yes.
-Hey!
948
00:38:02,917 --> 00:38:04,252
-(ALL SCREAMING)
-Hey!
949
00:38:04,284 --> 00:38:05,520
-Go!
-Shit! Sorry.
950
00:38:05,553 --> 00:38:07,722
-Come in, come in.
-Guys, guys, look,
951
00:38:07,755 --> 00:38:09,924
I don't think we need to be
in the glass-filled room.
952
00:38:09,957 --> 00:38:12,160
-Let's just go to the...
-Okay.
953
00:38:12,193 --> 00:38:13,393
Guys, over here!
954
00:38:13,426 --> 00:38:15,295
I was just about
to come get you, Pen.
955
00:38:15,328 --> 00:38:16,463
-Come on.
-(GILL) This way!
956
00:38:16,496 --> 00:38:18,398
Mo! Mo! Mo, Mo, Mo.
957
00:38:18,431 --> 00:38:19,901
Do you think
you could get a hold of any
958
00:38:19,934 --> 00:38:21,936
of your government contacts
to get more information?
959
00:38:21,969 --> 00:38:23,771
Who sent the bomb?
How many bombs are there?
960
00:38:23,805 --> 00:38:25,640
Does the U.S. have all
of our lines of defense?
961
00:38:25,673 --> 00:38:27,909
I'm trying to reach my friend
who works in the Pentagon.
962
00:38:27,942 --> 00:38:29,610
-But... shit.
-What?
963
00:38:29,644 --> 00:38:31,746
-There's no service down here.
-Oh, God! No!
964
00:38:31,779 --> 00:38:33,714
(DAMIAN) No,
I'm not getting anything.
965
00:38:33,748 --> 00:38:35,883
What the fucking fuck?
There's no Wi-Fi!
966
00:38:35,917 --> 00:38:38,553
Well, circuits can get jammed
with everyone trying at once.
967
00:38:38,586 --> 00:38:39,687
What the fuck is happening?
968
00:38:39,720 --> 00:38:41,522
This is the fucking
apocalypse!
969
00:38:41,556 --> 00:38:43,624
-Should we go upstairs?
-No, absolutely not.
970
00:38:43,658 --> 00:38:45,026
We are much safer
in the basement.
971
00:38:45,059 --> 00:38:47,962
Depending on the size
and location of the missile...
972
00:38:47,995 --> 00:38:49,897
-Who would bomb us?
-Really?
973
00:38:49,931 --> 00:38:52,300
I know so many people
who would bomb us.
974
00:38:52,332 --> 00:38:53,734
-Oh my God!
-The point is,
975
00:38:53,768 --> 00:38:55,603
we don't know
who's launched it.
976
00:38:55,636 --> 00:38:57,505
It could be China, Russia,
fucking North Korea,
977
00:38:57,538 --> 00:38:58,940
and we don't know
what they launched.
978
00:38:58,973 --> 00:39:00,508
Might be a hypersonic missile
979
00:39:00,541 --> 00:39:02,310
which can travel at 20 times
the speed of sound
980
00:39:02,342 --> 00:39:03,811
or a supersonic missile
981
00:39:03,845 --> 00:39:06,013
which can usually evade
all of our types
982
00:39:06,047 --> 00:39:08,415
of defense missile systems
and different types of radar.
983
00:39:08,448 --> 00:39:09,617
The point is, there's a lot
984
00:39:09,650 --> 00:39:10,885
of different types
of fucking missiles.
985
00:39:10,918 --> 00:39:12,820
So we may not even be able
to detect a bomb?
986
00:39:12,854 --> 00:39:15,122
Missile! It's a missile.
I said "missile" 40 times.
987
00:39:15,156 --> 00:39:17,925
Yes, and what we really need
to worry about is after.
988
00:39:17,959 --> 00:39:19,927
There could be nuclear fallout
which is why I think
989
00:39:19,961 --> 00:39:23,396
we need to stay indoors
for at least 24 hours.
990
00:39:23,430 --> 00:39:25,666
Twenty-four hours?!
991
00:39:25,700 --> 00:39:28,435
At least! Can you all sit
the fuck down, please?
992
00:39:28,468 --> 00:39:30,905
-I'm sorry.
-It's just a lot.
993
00:39:30,938 --> 00:39:32,773
Probably 48 when the...
994
00:39:32,807 --> 00:39:35,442
-Forty?
-...if the missile strikes.
995
00:39:35,475 --> 00:39:36,677
What is the probability
of that?
996
00:39:36,711 --> 00:39:38,546
-I don't know.
-God, we're gonna have
997
00:39:38,579 --> 00:39:40,748
-to wear those masks again!
-If we even live!
998
00:39:40,781 --> 00:39:43,284
Why don't we all just try
to stay positive?
999
00:39:43,317 --> 00:39:44,619
Right? You know,
because thinking
1000
00:39:44,652 --> 00:39:46,120
about the worst
while we're down there,
1001
00:39:46,153 --> 00:39:47,555
that's not gonna do
anything, right?
1002
00:39:47,588 --> 00:39:50,423
Uh, it's a fucking bomb, Gill!
1003
00:39:50,457 --> 00:39:52,293
I fucking know, Sam.
1004
00:39:52,326 --> 00:39:53,426
Just trying to stay positive
1005
00:39:53,460 --> 00:39:54,629
about the motherfucking bomb,
Sam!
1006
00:39:54,662 --> 00:39:55,563
Missile.
1007
00:39:55,596 --> 00:39:57,565
-Mo, Mo, Mo, listen.
-Yeah?
1008
00:39:57,598 --> 00:39:59,466
What's the likelihood
that we'll be able to stop
1009
00:39:59,499 --> 00:40:00,835
whatever missile
is coming towards us?
1010
00:40:00,868 --> 00:40:02,670
-Um...
-That-that's what you analyze.
1011
00:40:02,703 --> 00:40:04,906
Well, sort of. I analyze
foreign weapons development.
1012
00:40:04,939 --> 00:40:06,841
-But the, uh, likelihood...
-Same thing.
1013
00:40:06,874 --> 00:40:09,610
...depends on a lot
of variables and factors.
1014
00:40:09,644 --> 00:40:11,444
Okay. Okay. Rough estimate,
1015
00:40:11,478 --> 00:40:13,314
factoring in the factors
and the variables,
1016
00:40:13,347 --> 00:40:14,548
in your professional opinion,
1017
00:40:14,582 --> 00:40:15,850
is this the beginning
of World War III,
1018
00:40:15,883 --> 00:40:17,685
or are we gonna be able
to stop
1019
00:40:17,718 --> 00:40:19,120
the invisible missile
that's headed for us,
1020
00:40:19,153 --> 00:40:21,589
and it all is gonna be
kind of a misunderstanding?
1021
00:40:21,622 --> 00:40:22,990
So it's a little tough
to gauge.
1022
00:40:23,024 --> 00:40:24,759
Okay, okay, so you're saying
it's pretty bad.
1023
00:40:24,792 --> 00:40:26,360
Just leave her alone, Jack!
1024
00:40:26,394 --> 00:40:28,029
(MO) Jack,
our U.S. defense systems
1025
00:40:28,062 --> 00:40:30,430
have the potential
to protect its citizens
1026
00:40:30,463 --> 00:40:31,933
against a nuclear attack.
1027
00:40:31,966 --> 00:40:33,334
"Has the potential."
1028
00:40:33,367 --> 00:40:34,735
-Do they, though?
-(MO) Yes.
1029
00:40:34,769 --> 00:40:36,771
Theoretically. In theory.
Everything's a theory.
1030
00:40:36,804 --> 00:40:38,739
(SCOFFS)
What about hypersonics?
1031
00:40:38,773 --> 00:40:40,608
We don't spend enough
on defense.
1032
00:40:40,641 --> 00:40:41,809
We don't invest
in military advancements.
1033
00:40:41,842 --> 00:40:43,177
What the fuck
are you talking about?
1034
00:40:43,210 --> 00:40:44,578
All we do
is spend money on defense.
1035
00:40:44,612 --> 00:40:46,013
We need to spend
more money on education.
1036
00:40:46,047 --> 00:40:48,749
That has nothing to do
with right now, Jack!
1037
00:40:48,783 --> 00:40:50,885
Everything is connected,
Ishaan!
1038
00:40:50,918 --> 00:40:52,853
I can't breathe.
(HYPERVENTILATING)
1039
00:40:52,887 --> 00:40:55,957
I can't breathe.
Honey, I can't breathe.
1040
00:40:55,990 --> 00:40:57,258
Baby? What's happening?
1041
00:40:57,291 --> 00:40:59,360
I don't know.
Oh my God, I don't know.
1042
00:40:59,393 --> 00:41:01,329
Oh my God, I'm really dizzy.
1043
00:41:01,362 --> 00:41:02,730
Oh my God, I can't breathe,
1044
00:41:02,763 --> 00:41:04,732
-and my chest is hurting.
-Hey!
1045
00:41:04,765 --> 00:41:07,268
-Gill's having a heart attack!
-(DAMIAN SCREAMS)
1046
00:41:07,301 --> 00:41:08,970
-I am?!
-She is?!
1047
00:41:09,003 --> 00:41:10,671
(SAM) Hey, what's wrong,
what's wrong?
1048
00:41:10,705 --> 00:41:12,506
Does it feel like
you're underwater?
1049
00:41:12,540 --> 00:41:14,108
-Hell yeah.
-Is there any pain
1050
00:41:14,141 --> 00:41:16,877
radiating from your left jaw,
left shoulder, left arm?
1051
00:41:16,911 --> 00:41:18,546
-Left?
-Yes, left, left, left!
1052
00:41:18,579 --> 00:41:20,480
Not my left.
No, no, that feels fine.
1053
00:41:20,514 --> 00:41:21,682
Okay, nothing
on your left side?
1054
00:41:21,716 --> 00:41:23,150
Nothing on my left side.
1055
00:41:23,184 --> 00:41:25,987
Okay, okay, Gill, take
deep breaths with me, okay?
1056
00:41:26,020 --> 00:41:27,288
-Okay.
-Deep breath in.
1057
00:41:27,321 --> 00:41:28,689
(ALL INHALING)
1058
00:41:28,723 --> 00:41:30,391
-Deep breath out.
-(ALL EXHALING)
1059
00:41:30,424 --> 00:41:32,593
-Deep breath in.
-(ALL INHALING)
1060
00:41:32,626 --> 00:41:34,729
-Deep breath out.
-(ALL EXHALING)
1061
00:41:34,762 --> 00:41:36,564
Okay, feeling better?
1062
00:41:36,597 --> 00:41:37,798
Yeah, a little, I guess.
1063
00:41:37,832 --> 00:41:39,333
-(SOBS)
-(INDISTINCT)
1064
00:41:39,367 --> 00:41:41,235
It's okay.
She's having a panic attack.
1065
00:41:41,268 --> 00:41:43,371
Oh. Oh, I have those
all the time.
1066
00:41:43,404 --> 00:41:45,172
-She's fine.
-I'm fine?
1067
00:41:45,206 --> 00:41:47,174
-Yes, yes, yes.
-(LAUGHS) I don't feel fine.
1068
00:41:47,208 --> 00:41:49,777
You're gonna be okay.
Just need... Look, Jack,
1069
00:41:49,810 --> 00:41:52,580
do me a favor,
put your hand on her chest.
1070
00:41:52,613 --> 00:41:54,015
-This hand?
-Yes, that hand.
1071
00:41:54,048 --> 00:41:55,816
-Put that hand on my chest.
-Yes.
1072
00:41:55,850 --> 00:41:57,818
-You can help calm her down.
-Yeah.
1073
00:41:57,852 --> 00:41:59,787
(SAM) Give your body
some time to adjust.
1074
00:41:59,820 --> 00:42:01,689
-You'll be fine.
-Thank you.
1075
00:42:01,722 --> 00:42:04,225
-You're welcome. Stay put.
-Just breathe.
1076
00:42:04,258 --> 00:42:05,259
(BREATHING SLOWS)
1077
00:42:05,292 --> 00:42:06,861
-Where would I go?
-Don't leave.
1078
00:42:06,894 --> 00:42:10,131
I think that we need
to just stay positive
1079
00:42:10,164 --> 00:42:11,732
down here in the bomb shelter.
1080
00:42:11,766 --> 00:42:13,467
I need some fucking Wi-Fi
1081
00:42:13,501 --> 00:42:14,835
so I can make sure
my baby's okay.
1082
00:42:14,869 --> 00:42:16,237
(MO) Pen, there's no Wi-Fi
down here.
1083
00:42:16,270 --> 00:42:18,806
Pen, stay put. I texted Lana
before we came down.
1084
00:42:18,839 --> 00:42:22,009
-Just stay in the basement.
-Yes, I know, Sam.
1085
00:42:22,043 --> 00:42:24,879
I just really think we need
to be with Rocco right now.
1086
00:42:24,912 --> 00:42:27,648
He's three hours away, and...
1087
00:42:28,349 --> 00:42:30,251
there's a bomb.
1088
00:42:30,284 --> 00:42:32,987
(SILENCE)
1089
00:42:39,560 --> 00:42:41,062
(SIGHS)
1090
00:42:46,667 --> 00:42:49,170
I never should've left
20 years ago.
1091
00:42:51,238 --> 00:42:52,606
What?
1092
00:42:52,640 --> 00:42:54,642
I should've stayed with you.
1093
00:42:55,576 --> 00:42:57,344
Built a life with you.
1094
00:42:58,579 --> 00:43:00,581
Logan...
1095
00:43:00,614 --> 00:43:04,585
Just... It just sucks
that I'm now realizing this.
1096
00:43:06,020 --> 00:43:09,023
I shouldn't have pissed about
so much.
1097
00:43:10,591 --> 00:43:12,993
I wasted so much time.
1098
00:43:13,761 --> 00:43:16,597
I was so focused on my career,
1099
00:43:16,630 --> 00:43:18,933
I let all this time
just slip by.
1100
00:43:18,966 --> 00:43:22,069
If I got my shit together
sooner...
1101
00:43:24,605 --> 00:43:26,974
I would've met Pen sooner.
1102
00:43:29,143 --> 00:43:31,045
Could've had at least...
1103
00:43:32,313 --> 00:43:33,614
three more kids.
1104
00:43:33,647 --> 00:43:35,850
Jesus Christ, shut up!
1105
00:43:35,883 --> 00:43:39,854
(SAM) I always wanted
a big family. I always...
1106
00:43:39,887 --> 00:43:43,324
envisioned myself
surrounded by...
1107
00:43:43,357 --> 00:43:44,625
a gaggle of kids.
1108
00:43:44,658 --> 00:43:45,826
I would've taken just one
1109
00:43:45,860 --> 00:43:48,028
if Gill would've been
on board.
1110
00:43:48,929 --> 00:43:50,698
What?
1111
00:43:50,731 --> 00:43:52,766
What are you talking about?
1112
00:43:54,101 --> 00:43:56,770
I found
your birth control pills.
1113
00:43:56,804 --> 00:43:59,306
(SOFT MUSIC PLAYING)
1114
00:43:59,340 --> 00:44:02,676
Can we please not do this
in front of all our friends?
1115
00:44:02,710 --> 00:44:04,945
(JACK) Oh, yeah,
we should wait
1116
00:44:04,979 --> 00:44:07,948
till after we're incinerated
by a nuclear explosion.
1117
00:44:07,982 --> 00:44:10,184
-Jack, please...
-Been trying to figure out,
1118
00:44:10,217 --> 00:44:11,952
why would you...
why would you do that?
1119
00:44:11,986 --> 00:44:13,787
I don't know.
I was gonna tell you.
1120
00:44:13,821 --> 00:44:15,990
(JACK) Oh, yeah?
You were gonna tell me?
1121
00:44:16,023 --> 00:44:18,859
Now you don't want to have a
kid? Is that what's happening?
1122
00:44:18,893 --> 00:44:20,761
(SIGHS) I don't know.
1123
00:44:20,794 --> 00:44:21,929
What the fuck?
1124
00:44:21,962 --> 00:44:24,398
Why wouldn't you tell me? Huh?
1125
00:44:24,431 --> 00:44:29,203
-Why wouldn't you tell me?!
-I don't know. I...
1126
00:44:29,236 --> 00:44:31,705
Well, at least I didn't have
to find out on the podcast.
1127
00:44:31,739 --> 00:44:33,841
Okay, that's not fair, Jack.
1128
00:44:33,874 --> 00:44:35,843
Oh, it's not fair? No? Hm.
1129
00:44:35,876 --> 00:44:37,512
So you air out all of our shit
in front of all
1130
00:44:37,546 --> 00:44:41,048
of your millions of followers
who are basically strangers,
1131
00:44:41,081 --> 00:44:43,984
yet you don't tell me,
the person that you live with.
1132
00:44:44,018 --> 00:44:46,387
You lie to me!
That's not fair!
1133
00:44:46,420 --> 00:44:49,123
Do you want to know what else
isn't fair, Jack?
1134
00:44:49,156 --> 00:44:53,227
When your husband puts
expectations on you
1135
00:44:53,260 --> 00:44:55,296
and doesn't listen to you
1136
00:44:55,329 --> 00:44:59,867
and makes a huge decision
for the both of us
1137
00:44:59,900 --> 00:45:02,870
and doesn't see
what I really wanted.
1138
00:45:02,903 --> 00:45:04,772
That is what's not fair, Jack.
1139
00:45:04,805 --> 00:45:06,608
Not see what you wanted?
1140
00:45:06,641 --> 00:45:09,410
I-I-I'm sorry
that I did not trust the words
1141
00:45:09,443 --> 00:45:11,011
that were coming
out of your mouth!
1142
00:45:11,045 --> 00:45:12,846
I didn't realize
that when you said
1143
00:45:12,880 --> 00:45:14,148
you wanted to have
a baby with me,
1144
00:45:14,181 --> 00:45:16,150
what you really meant
was you wanted to talk
1145
00:45:16,183 --> 00:45:19,853
about having a baby on
your stupid fucking podcast!
1146
00:45:19,887 --> 00:45:23,757
That is so fucked up,
you asshole!
1147
00:45:23,791 --> 00:45:26,727
That stupid fucking podcast
1148
00:45:26,760 --> 00:45:28,963
is what's paid for tonight
1149
00:45:28,996 --> 00:45:31,031
and pays
your cell phone bills.
1150
00:45:31,065 --> 00:45:32,967
First of all,
it is a family plan!
1151
00:45:33,000 --> 00:45:34,468
Okay? It just makes sense.
Second of all,
1152
00:45:34,501 --> 00:45:37,271
tonight, you wanna just take--
just take it all back.
1153
00:45:37,304 --> 00:45:39,173
You can start with
these fucking leather pants.
1154
00:45:39,206 --> 00:45:40,709
Here, I don't want
these fucking--
1155
00:45:40,741 --> 00:45:42,243
-Ah! Ah! Ow!
-You know what, Jack?
1156
00:45:42,276 --> 00:45:44,912
Maybe if you actually
listened to my podcast,
1157
00:45:44,945 --> 00:45:47,014
you would see why
it's so successful.
1158
00:45:47,047 --> 00:45:50,317
I mean, why do you
even want a kid?
1159
00:45:50,351 --> 00:45:52,920
Are you gonna pick him up
from soccer practice
1160
00:45:52,953 --> 00:45:54,221
high out of your fucking mind?
1161
00:45:54,255 --> 00:45:56,524
Mo and I hooked up
at the Deltopia party
1162
00:45:56,558 --> 00:45:57,592
in 2001!
1163
00:45:57,626 --> 00:45:58,826
-(DAMIAN) What?!
-What?
1164
00:45:58,859 --> 00:46:00,394
-Sam?
-What?
1165
00:46:00,427 --> 00:46:02,429
What do you mean,
"hooked up"?
1166
00:46:04,131 --> 00:46:05,332
We got together.
1167
00:46:05,366 --> 00:46:07,501
Okay, so, in my defense,
1168
00:46:07,535 --> 00:46:09,069
I was very drunk.
1169
00:46:09,103 --> 00:46:11,939
-He could've been anybody.
-That's fucked.
1170
00:46:11,972 --> 00:46:15,209
So you had sex with Mo
and you didn't tell me?
1171
00:46:15,610 --> 00:46:16,910
Oh my God.
1172
00:46:16,944 --> 00:46:20,080
(PENELOPE) You dodgy fucker.
1173
00:46:20,114 --> 00:46:22,983
Well, I wasn't gonna mention
this because...
1174
00:46:23,017 --> 00:46:26,153
well, I didn't think you
could handle it, but fuck it.
1175
00:46:27,021 --> 00:46:28,690
I had sex with him.
1176
00:46:28,723 --> 00:46:30,190
(SUPPRESSED LAUGH)
1177
00:46:30,224 --> 00:46:32,694
-(LOGAN) What?
-(DAMIAN LAUGHING) Oh my God!
1178
00:46:32,727 --> 00:46:34,663
-Oh, me?
-(DAMIAN LAUGHING)
1179
00:46:34,696 --> 00:46:36,830
Hi. (LAUGHS)
1180
00:46:36,864 --> 00:46:40,167
Yeah. It was in, um,
in London.
1181
00:46:40,200 --> 00:46:44,471
Um, the... you were playing
with the Jinx at The Half Moon
1182
00:46:44,506 --> 00:46:46,340
in like 2010.
1183
00:46:48,008 --> 00:46:49,943
(LOGAN) 2010, huh?
1184
00:46:51,145 --> 00:46:54,181
-Oh, yeah! (LAUGHS)
-(PENELOPE LAUGHS)
1185
00:46:54,214 --> 00:46:57,084
-Yeah!
-Yeah, hey, how you doin'?
1186
00:46:57,117 --> 00:46:59,119
I didn't recognize you
with the...
1187
00:46:59,153 --> 00:47:01,121
I know. Yeah, I was, um...
1188
00:47:01,155 --> 00:47:03,290
Well, I'm thinner now, yeah.
1189
00:47:03,324 --> 00:47:06,293
What a small world.
How you been?
1190
00:47:06,327 --> 00:47:08,162
I've been good!
Yeah, I've been really good.
1191
00:47:08,195 --> 00:47:10,964
I didn't recognize you.
I was going, "I know him."
1192
00:47:10,998 --> 00:47:13,568
Um, but you changed your hair.
1193
00:47:13,601 --> 00:47:16,270
Yeah. I had a, um,
a blonde mohawk.
1194
00:47:16,303 --> 00:47:18,272
Yes, you did.
I remember very well,
1195
00:47:18,305 --> 00:47:20,841
and it would not budge,
even after...
1196
00:47:20,874 --> 00:47:23,010
-(LAUGHS)
-Yeah, it was crazy.
1197
00:47:23,043 --> 00:47:25,112
It was really, really...
1198
00:47:25,145 --> 00:47:30,050
-It was really crazy.
-How could you fuck... him?!
1199
00:47:30,084 --> 00:47:31,686
I knew you couldn't handle it.
1200
00:47:31,720 --> 00:47:33,187
That's disgusting!
1201
00:47:33,220 --> 00:47:35,189
-Hey!
-Why didn't you tell me?
1202
00:47:35,222 --> 00:47:36,957
Well, I didn't tell you, Sam,
1203
00:47:36,990 --> 00:47:38,760
because I didn't know
you knew him.
1204
00:47:38,793 --> 00:47:40,795
I have been on holiday
with Mo.
1205
00:47:40,829 --> 00:47:42,262
You should've told me.
1206
00:47:42,296 --> 00:47:43,497
(DAMIAN) Shut up!
1207
00:47:43,531 --> 00:47:46,233
-(LAUGHING)
-Who cares?!
1208
00:47:46,266 --> 00:47:47,434
Straight people!
1209
00:47:47,468 --> 00:47:50,505
Oh my God, you're
so fucking dysfunctional!
1210
00:47:50,538 --> 00:47:52,640
It's like bad reality TV.
1211
00:47:52,674 --> 00:47:54,208
We make good reality TV!
1212
00:47:54,241 --> 00:47:56,778
We make Drag Race
and bake-offs,
1213
00:47:56,811 --> 00:47:58,646
and you make MILF Manor!
1214
00:47:58,680 --> 00:48:01,048
-(LAUGHING)
-(DAMIAN) I'm sorry.
1215
00:48:01,081 --> 00:48:02,483
-Okay...
-(ISHAAN) I'm sorry.
1216
00:48:02,517 --> 00:48:05,052
We should just keep this
light and-and breezy.
1217
00:48:05,085 --> 00:48:06,954
Yeah, that's a good call.
That's a good call.
1218
00:48:06,987 --> 00:48:08,489
-(GIGGLING)
-Okay.
1219
00:48:08,523 --> 00:48:11,392
Let's go around the room
and just say, then...
1220
00:48:12,459 --> 00:48:13,595
what we're grateful for.
1221
00:48:13,628 --> 00:48:16,631
-(ISHAAN) That's a good idea.
-Okay? Let's do that.
1222
00:48:16,664 --> 00:48:18,065
-Why don't you start, Ish?
-What?
1223
00:48:18,098 --> 00:48:19,366
Why don't you start?
1224
00:48:19,400 --> 00:48:21,569
(GENTLE MUSIC PLAYING)
1225
00:48:21,603 --> 00:48:23,370
Um... (EXHALES)
1226
00:48:24,672 --> 00:48:26,907
I'm grateful for...
1227
00:48:32,814 --> 00:48:34,081
Wow, what was I saying?
1228
00:48:34,114 --> 00:48:36,016
-What you're grateful for.
-Oh my God.
1229
00:48:36,049 --> 00:48:39,086
Oh my God, I'm so high.
I, um... (LAUGHS)
1230
00:48:39,119 --> 00:48:43,157
I, um, I'm grateful for...
1231
00:48:43,190 --> 00:48:45,760
(CLICKS TONGUE)
...my family.
1232
00:48:45,794 --> 00:48:47,327
(GENTLE MUSIC PLAYING)
1233
00:48:47,361 --> 00:48:50,565
For the strength
that I didn't know I had...
1234
00:48:52,099 --> 00:48:54,569
and I found
with the help of...
1235
00:48:54,602 --> 00:48:57,539
the love of my life, Damian.
1236
00:48:59,841 --> 00:49:01,975
You're my everything.
1237
00:49:02,009 --> 00:49:04,378
You make me a better person.
(SNIFFLES)
1238
00:49:04,411 --> 00:49:06,380
You make me laugh
every single day.
1239
00:49:06,413 --> 00:49:08,616
-(BOTH LAUGH)
-That's very sweet.
1240
00:49:08,650 --> 00:49:10,384
It's true.
1241
00:49:11,553 --> 00:49:14,121
I'm grateful for, mmm...
1242
00:49:14,154 --> 00:49:17,291
my brother and my mother
and... (INHALES)
1243
00:49:17,324 --> 00:49:19,993
...and my chosen family,
and my...
1244
00:49:20,027 --> 00:49:22,396
our Brussels Griffon,
Sebastian.
1245
00:49:22,429 --> 00:49:25,999
-(SOBBING) I miss him...
-(SOBBING) Oh my God.
1246
00:49:26,033 --> 00:49:28,335
(DAMIAN SOBBING)
...so fucking much.
1247
00:49:28,368 --> 00:49:31,873
I miss our fucking dog.
I want my dog.
1248
00:49:31,906 --> 00:49:33,407
(ISHAAN CRYING)
1249
00:49:33,440 --> 00:49:36,578
And to find you, and you,
you're my soulmate.
1250
00:49:36,611 --> 00:49:39,848
I love you so much.
You're my best friend.
1251
00:49:39,881 --> 00:49:42,483
(TREMBLED BREATHING)
1252
00:49:43,818 --> 00:49:45,085
I almost got to marry you.
1253
00:49:45,118 --> 00:49:48,255
Aw! Almost. (SNIFFLING)
1254
00:49:48,288 --> 00:49:50,090
Maybe if we don't get
blown up.
1255
00:49:50,123 --> 00:49:52,326
(BOTH LAUGH)
1256
00:49:53,393 --> 00:49:55,395
(SNIFFLES) Wow.
1257
00:49:56,631 --> 00:49:58,098
Okay.
1258
00:49:58,933 --> 00:50:00,033
You're up, Jack.
1259
00:50:00,067 --> 00:50:02,436
What am I thankful for?
1260
00:50:04,404 --> 00:50:09,176
I'm thankful for how things
used to be.
1261
00:50:09,209 --> 00:50:10,745
I got to spend half
of my life with the person
1262
00:50:10,778 --> 00:50:14,047
who I thought I knew more
than anyone else in the world.
1263
00:50:16,483 --> 00:50:18,151
I miss that.
1264
00:50:20,053 --> 00:50:23,056
I'm thankful
for that life too, Jack.
1265
00:50:26,159 --> 00:50:28,228
And I feel really lucky
that I got to live
1266
00:50:28,262 --> 00:50:30,598
such a wonderful life
with you.
1267
00:50:32,232 --> 00:50:34,401
(DAMIAN) That was
really touching.
1268
00:50:36,069 --> 00:50:37,371
Okay, who's next?
1269
00:50:37,404 --> 00:50:40,040
(PENELOPE)
I'm grateful for my son.
1270
00:50:42,710 --> 00:50:46,548
(CRYING) I'll never forgive
myself for abandoning him.
1271
00:50:46,581 --> 00:50:48,950
(SAM) I look at our son,
and I can't believe
1272
00:50:48,983 --> 00:50:50,618
we created that life together.
1273
00:50:51,986 --> 00:50:53,688
We did that.
1274
00:50:55,222 --> 00:50:57,457
He's perfect. He's...
1275
00:50:58,258 --> 00:50:59,928
That's an unbiased fact.
1276
00:50:59,961 --> 00:51:03,163
His little hands,
his little toes, he's...
1277
00:51:03,196 --> 00:51:05,132
(PENELOPE SIGHS)
1278
00:51:05,165 --> 00:51:06,801
(SAM) ...all perfect.
1279
00:51:08,002 --> 00:51:09,737
You're an incredible mother.
1280
00:51:11,873 --> 00:51:13,641
Thank you.
1281
00:51:13,675 --> 00:51:16,010
Okay, I can go. Um...
1282
00:51:16,044 --> 00:51:18,345
I'm grateful for my family,
1283
00:51:18,378 --> 00:51:22,482
my friends,
and the work that I do.
1284
00:51:25,053 --> 00:51:27,154
It's truly meant so much to me
1285
00:51:27,187 --> 00:51:30,625
to know that I'm making
a difference.
1286
00:51:31,391 --> 00:51:33,393
And I'm really grateful
1287
00:51:33,427 --> 00:51:36,998
for all of the moments I've
had with every one of you.
1288
00:51:37,031 --> 00:51:39,199
Truly grateful.
1289
00:51:39,232 --> 00:51:42,070
I'm grateful that my band
kicked me out.
1290
00:51:42,102 --> 00:51:43,571
-Wait, what?
-(LOGAN) Yeah.
1291
00:51:43,605 --> 00:51:46,541
Happened a few weeks ago,
but, um...
1292
00:51:46,574 --> 00:51:48,543
it's been brewing
for a long time.
1293
00:51:48,576 --> 00:51:50,177
Well, what happened?
1294
00:51:50,210 --> 00:51:52,312
(LOGAN) Creative differences.
1295
00:51:52,346 --> 00:51:55,415
I was writing new material,
and...
1296
00:51:55,449 --> 00:51:58,786
they wanted to keep playing
the same old shit.
1297
00:52:00,588 --> 00:52:02,657
I'm so sorry.
1298
00:52:05,093 --> 00:52:06,493
It's cool.
1299
00:52:07,494 --> 00:52:10,531
Really, it's cool. I mean...
1300
00:52:10,565 --> 00:52:12,867
At first, I freaked out
'cause I thought,
1301
00:52:12,900 --> 00:52:15,268
"Is this my only identity?"
And...
1302
00:52:16,336 --> 00:52:19,974
But then it... it granted
my freedom.
1303
00:52:20,008 --> 00:52:21,576
This exercise really worked.
1304
00:52:21,609 --> 00:52:24,177
-Yeah. (LAUGHS)
-(LOGAN) Yeah.
1305
00:52:24,211 --> 00:52:26,279
(LAUGHS) I feel like I'm awake
1306
00:52:26,313 --> 00:52:28,482
after 20 fucking years,
you know?
1307
00:52:28,516 --> 00:52:31,586
I have all this music
in my head.
1308
00:52:32,820 --> 00:52:35,757
-Sing something.
-(CHUCKLES)
1309
00:52:35,790 --> 00:52:40,427
♪ I drove all night ♪
1310
00:52:40,460 --> 00:52:44,932
♪ Tryin' to hold
what ain't right ♪
1311
00:52:44,966 --> 00:52:48,836
♪ I know the answer,
should I call you ♪
1312
00:52:54,075 --> 00:52:55,543
(SIGHS)
1313
00:53:06,854 --> 00:53:09,489
(TENDER PIANO MUSIC PLAYING)
1314
00:53:09,524 --> 00:53:12,694
-It's all yours.
-I still love that song.
1315
00:53:15,029 --> 00:53:16,329
We wrote a good one.
1316
00:53:16,363 --> 00:53:19,199
(TENDER MUSIC CONTINUES)
1317
00:53:32,980 --> 00:53:35,382
-(PENELOPE) Are we leaving?
-No.
1318
00:53:35,415 --> 00:53:37,250
W-w-where are we going?
1319
00:53:37,284 --> 00:53:39,486
(SHUSHING)
1320
00:53:39,520 --> 00:53:40,955
Oh, bingo.
1321
00:53:42,222 --> 00:53:45,126
Oh! (EXHALES)
1322
00:53:45,159 --> 00:53:46,994
-Hey, Pen, Pen, Pen.
-Yes?
1323
00:53:47,028 --> 00:53:48,495
-They have the same vase.
-What?
1324
00:53:48,529 --> 00:53:51,264
They have the same vase as us.
Look.
1325
00:53:51,298 --> 00:53:53,467
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
1326
00:53:53,500 --> 00:53:55,335
Is that why
you brought me in here?
1327
00:53:55,368 --> 00:53:56,804
-No, no, no.
-Okay.
1328
00:53:56,838 --> 00:53:58,472
I brought you in here
1329
00:53:58,506 --> 00:54:00,508
to get you alone, to tell you
1330
00:54:00,541 --> 00:54:04,311
just how beautiful you are.
1331
00:54:04,344 --> 00:54:06,180
Sam, I don't feel
very beautiful.
1332
00:54:06,214 --> 00:54:07,347
-Well, you are.
-Thank you.
1333
00:54:07,380 --> 00:54:08,950
You're stunning.
1334
00:54:08,983 --> 00:54:11,219
-Oh, sorry! Sorry.
-Fuck! Ah!
1335
00:54:11,251 --> 00:54:12,954
-Ah!
-(PENELOPE) Sorry.
1336
00:54:12,987 --> 00:54:14,155
Wait, wait, wait.
1337
00:54:14,188 --> 00:54:15,455
Sam, what are you doing?
1338
00:54:15,489 --> 00:54:18,626
I thought I would
just seize the moment.
1339
00:54:19,227 --> 00:54:21,596
I'm scared to have a baby.
1340
00:54:23,363 --> 00:54:26,466
I mean, I'm scared
of my whole life
1341
00:54:26,500 --> 00:54:29,637
just stopping and becoming
all about the baby,
1342
00:54:29,670 --> 00:54:33,141
and I am not ready
for that to happen right now.
1343
00:54:33,174 --> 00:54:34,809
I'm scared too.
1344
00:54:34,842 --> 00:54:36,210
You are?
1345
00:54:36,244 --> 00:54:37,712
Yeah, everyone's scared.
1346
00:54:37,745 --> 00:54:41,281
I mean, I don't even know
if I would be a good mom.
1347
00:54:42,617 --> 00:54:46,419
Right now, I love spending
my time at work
1348
00:54:46,453 --> 00:54:47,722
and on the podcast,
1349
00:54:47,755 --> 00:54:50,958
and I'm really,
really good at it.
1350
00:54:52,392 --> 00:54:54,562
And it makes me really happy.
1351
00:54:54,595 --> 00:54:55,863
(CHUCKLES)
1352
00:54:56,864 --> 00:54:59,667
I don't want to resent you
1353
00:54:59,700 --> 00:55:02,637
for having to give that up
because, then,
1354
00:55:02,670 --> 00:55:05,807
I really wouldn't be
a good mom.
1355
00:55:07,542 --> 00:55:09,342
You'd be a great mom.
1356
00:55:09,376 --> 00:55:11,979
(GENTLE MUSIC PLAYING)
1357
00:55:16,250 --> 00:55:17,885
Thank you.
1358
00:55:19,587 --> 00:55:24,491
But I think that somebody
who wants to be a mom...
1359
00:55:24,525 --> 00:55:27,862
should really,
really want that.
1360
00:55:29,163 --> 00:55:30,430
I haven't slept,
1361
00:55:30,463 --> 00:55:33,734
and everything
is still fucking sore.
1362
00:55:33,768 --> 00:55:37,470
I don't feel like myself.
I feel fucking gross.
1363
00:55:38,172 --> 00:55:39,740
Okay?
1364
00:55:41,408 --> 00:55:44,111
I'm not in my body.
1365
00:55:44,145 --> 00:55:46,479
It's like it still belongs
to Rocco.
1366
00:55:46,514 --> 00:55:48,583
I just wish I was with him.
1367
00:55:48,616 --> 00:55:50,350
That's all I can think about.
1368
00:55:50,383 --> 00:55:53,054
Me too, 100%.
1369
00:55:53,087 --> 00:55:54,822
It's just, given
the circumstances,
1370
00:55:54,856 --> 00:55:58,159
I thought we'd finally be able
to have a little sexy-sex.
1371
00:55:58,192 --> 00:56:01,295
What kind of person wants to
have sex at a time like this?
1372
00:56:01,329 --> 00:56:04,131
-(SULTRY MUSIC PLAYING)
-(MOANING)
1373
00:56:06,734 --> 00:56:09,904
(MOANING)
1374
00:56:11,839 --> 00:56:13,641
Doesn't it bother you
how long it's been?
1375
00:56:13,674 --> 00:56:17,578
Honestly, Sam,
I am so tired...
1376
00:56:17,612 --> 00:56:20,147
-I don't think about it.
-Oh, you don't think about it?
1377
00:56:20,181 --> 00:56:23,483
Well, that's
a fucking problem, Pen.
1378
00:56:23,517 --> 00:56:25,418
I guess it is a problem, Sam.
1379
00:56:25,452 --> 00:56:27,154
Well, do you think, you know,
1380
00:56:27,188 --> 00:56:30,490
hypothetically,
if we survive this,
1381
00:56:30,524 --> 00:56:32,526
will you ever be ready?
1382
00:56:33,060 --> 00:56:34,427
(SCOFFS)
1383
00:56:35,462 --> 00:56:37,064
I don't know.
1384
00:56:39,867 --> 00:56:41,769
Is it me? (LAUGHS)
1385
00:56:43,436 --> 00:56:46,841
I think everything happened
so fast with us. We...
1386
00:56:46,874 --> 00:56:49,442
Going out, then pregnant,
and married,
1387
00:56:49,476 --> 00:56:50,945
within a year and a half.
1388
00:56:50,978 --> 00:56:53,314
I thought you wanted
to get married.
1389
00:56:53,347 --> 00:56:54,982
You wanted to get married.
1390
00:56:55,016 --> 00:56:57,752
-You were pregnant.
-(PENELOPE SCOFFS)
1391
00:56:58,451 --> 00:57:00,621
Yeah...
1392
00:57:00,655 --> 00:57:02,990
Is that the only reason
we did it?
1393
00:57:03,024 --> 00:57:06,694
No, it's not the only reason
we did it.
1394
00:57:06,727 --> 00:57:09,563
We did it
because we love each other.
1395
00:57:13,234 --> 00:57:14,568
Do you love me?
1396
00:57:16,137 --> 00:57:17,872
Oh my God.
1397
00:57:20,841 --> 00:57:24,211
You are the father of my son.
1398
00:57:24,245 --> 00:57:25,980
Of course...
1399
00:57:27,615 --> 00:57:29,550
I have love for you.
1400
00:57:29,583 --> 00:57:32,086
You "have love" for me?
1401
00:57:32,119 --> 00:57:33,821
Who says that?
1402
00:57:34,422 --> 00:57:37,124
I love you.
1403
00:57:39,160 --> 00:57:41,262
-You don't love me?
-I said I have love for you.
1404
00:57:41,295 --> 00:57:42,964
I don't know what
you want me to say, Sam.
1405
00:57:42,997 --> 00:57:44,832
I don't want to hurt you.
1406
00:57:45,333 --> 00:57:46,600
Sam, I'm sorry.
1407
00:57:46,634 --> 00:57:48,501
You... (SNICKERS)
1408
00:57:48,536 --> 00:57:50,137
You're sorry?
1409
00:57:50,171 --> 00:57:52,139
(LAUGHS)
1410
00:57:53,140 --> 00:57:54,308
I'm sorry.
1411
00:57:54,342 --> 00:57:56,243
But just one thing.
1412
00:57:56,277 --> 00:57:58,879
Do you have any idea
1413
00:57:58,913 --> 00:58:02,850
how many women
I could've fucked?
1414
00:58:04,385 --> 00:58:06,120
-Excuse me?
-(SAM) Dozens.
1415
00:58:06,153 --> 00:58:08,889
Maybe even in the thirties.
Low to mid thirties,
1416
00:58:08,923 --> 00:58:10,558
but definitely
somewhere there.
1417
00:58:10,591 --> 00:58:11,792
That's how many women
jump at me
1418
00:58:11,826 --> 00:58:13,594
all the fucking time, Pen!
1419
00:58:13,627 --> 00:58:14,662
You want a fucking trophy?
1420
00:58:14,695 --> 00:58:16,130
I don't want a fucking trophy.
1421
00:58:16,163 --> 00:58:18,065
Then why are you telling me?
1422
00:58:20,668 --> 00:58:23,204
Why are you telling me?
Just to hurt me?
1423
00:58:24,505 --> 00:58:26,107
How can I hurt you?
1424
00:58:26,140 --> 00:58:27,975
You're fucking heartless!
1425
00:58:28,009 --> 00:58:30,644
-(SLAPS)
-(GROANING)
1426
00:58:30,678 --> 00:58:32,880
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
1427
00:58:34,215 --> 00:58:35,483
Fuck you.
1428
00:58:35,516 --> 00:58:38,519
(SOMBER MUSIC PLAYING)
1429
00:58:39,687 --> 00:58:41,956
(FOOTSTEPS FADING AWAY)
1430
00:58:41,989 --> 00:58:43,357
I missed you.
1431
00:58:43,391 --> 00:58:45,760
(SIGHS) I missed you too.
1432
00:58:45,793 --> 00:58:47,328
So much.
1433
00:58:47,361 --> 00:58:50,931
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
1434
00:58:52,733 --> 00:58:55,603
I tried so hard
to forget about you.
1435
00:58:55,636 --> 00:58:57,471
I couldn't.
1436
00:58:57,506 --> 00:58:59,540
You know?
1437
00:58:59,573 --> 00:59:02,076
I just... (BREATHING HEAVILY)
1438
00:59:02,109 --> 00:59:05,246
I never found anyone
who compared to you.
1439
00:59:08,349 --> 00:59:10,151
I love you, Mo.
1440
00:59:12,420 --> 00:59:14,221
I love you too.
1441
00:59:18,459 --> 00:59:19,894
Mmm.
1442
00:59:24,098 --> 00:59:26,500
-Should we go again?
-Yeah, we could do better.
1443
00:59:26,535 --> 00:59:27,568
I think so.
1444
00:59:27,601 --> 00:59:29,403
(SULTRY MUSIC PLAYING)
1445
00:59:29,437 --> 00:59:31,205
(LAUGHING)
1446
00:59:35,676 --> 00:59:36,811
(MUSIC FADING)
1447
00:59:36,844 --> 00:59:38,279
You have
this whole other life,
1448
00:59:38,312 --> 00:59:40,881
this whole other world,
and I'm not a part of it.
1449
00:59:40,915 --> 00:59:43,217
And, look, I love
that you're happy.
1450
00:59:43,250 --> 00:59:44,618
I do, I love it.
1451
00:59:45,453 --> 00:59:47,288
But I'm not.
1452
00:59:47,321 --> 00:59:48,889
(GILL) You're not?
1453
00:59:48,923 --> 00:59:51,058
I don't want you
to be unhappy, Jack.
1454
00:59:51,092 --> 00:59:54,261
I think maybe I wanted
a... a baby
1455
00:59:54,295 --> 00:59:58,132
and to, um, start a family...
1456
00:59:59,400 --> 01:00:02,169
so I can get you back,
1457
01:00:02,203 --> 01:00:04,238
spend more time with you.
1458
01:00:04,271 --> 01:00:07,241
We already are a family, Jack.
1459
01:00:10,211 --> 01:00:12,279
And we always will be.
1460
01:00:15,483 --> 01:00:17,751
A baby doesn't change that.
1461
01:00:20,921 --> 01:00:24,325
(PSYCHEDELIC ROCK MUSIC
PLAYING)
1462
01:00:35,436 --> 01:00:37,271
(SNAKE HISSING)
1463
01:01:00,995 --> 01:01:03,230
-What are you looking at?
-Oh my God.
1464
01:01:03,264 --> 01:01:06,066
-(MUSIC ENDS)
-(DAMIAN AND ISHAAN SIGH)
1465
01:01:08,537 --> 01:01:10,404
Is your marriage over?
1466
01:01:12,907 --> 01:01:13,841
What?
1467
01:01:13,874 --> 01:01:17,011
(PSYCHEDELIC ROCK MUSIC
RESUMES)
1468
01:01:24,519 --> 01:01:26,353
(MUSIC FADES)
1469
01:01:28,289 --> 01:01:30,592
(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)
1470
01:01:30,625 --> 01:01:32,459
(LOGAN GROANS)
1471
01:01:32,493 --> 01:01:33,794
(SAM SNIFFLES)
1472
01:01:34,762 --> 01:01:36,063
(ISHAAN SIGHS)
1473
01:01:36,096 --> 01:01:38,899
It feels like days.
How much longer?
1474
01:01:38,933 --> 01:01:40,768
Could be any minute.
Any second.
1475
01:01:40,801 --> 01:01:43,170
This is awful.
Just bomb us already!
1476
01:01:43,204 --> 01:01:46,106
(ISHAAN) I keep thinking
about the last few years.
1477
01:01:46,907 --> 01:01:48,809
I went through a year
of chemo,
1478
01:01:48,842 --> 01:01:52,246
and then I went
right back to work. (LAUGHS)
1479
01:01:52,279 --> 01:01:54,715
You know, I made all
these plans, and I don't...
1480
01:01:54,748 --> 01:01:56,884
I don't know why
I didn't do any of them.
1481
01:01:56,917 --> 01:01:59,688
I was gonna travel the world.
1482
01:01:59,720 --> 01:02:01,188
With me?
1483
01:02:04,191 --> 01:02:06,026
Of course. We...
1484
01:02:06,060 --> 01:02:08,495
We should've planned a trip.
1485
01:02:08,530 --> 01:02:11,265
I'm really sorry
we never got married.
1486
01:02:15,236 --> 01:02:17,137
-You are?
-Yeah.
1487
01:02:17,539 --> 01:02:19,073
I just...
1488
01:02:19,907 --> 01:02:22,042
I think now that...
1489
01:02:22,076 --> 01:02:23,477
you know, I'm on death's door,
1490
01:02:23,511 --> 01:02:26,847
it-it's something that
I really wanted all the time,
1491
01:02:26,880 --> 01:02:29,618
and, you know,
when I think about...
1492
01:02:29,651 --> 01:02:30,951
(SIGHS)
1493
01:02:30,985 --> 01:02:34,888
When I picture our death,
you know,
1494
01:02:34,922 --> 01:02:37,291
like, I mean,
obviously you die first.
1495
01:02:37,324 --> 01:02:39,893
-Obviously.
-'Cause...
1496
01:02:39,927 --> 01:02:41,195
you're very, very old.
1497
01:02:41,228 --> 01:02:43,464
I'm... seven months older
than you.
1498
01:02:43,497 --> 01:02:44,932
(DAMIAN)
Seven and a half months.
1499
01:02:44,965 --> 01:02:46,900
You know, and I just saw us
as married
1500
01:02:46,934 --> 01:02:50,505
'cause, you know... (LAUGHS)
1501
01:02:50,538 --> 01:02:51,905
I'd be the loyal,
1502
01:02:51,939 --> 01:02:54,709
much younger,
mournful husband that...
1503
01:02:54,743 --> 01:02:56,243
never left your side.
1504
01:02:56,277 --> 01:02:58,078
-You know? Yeah.
-Oh.
1505
01:02:58,112 --> 01:02:59,913
-That's sweet.
-(DAMIAN LAUGHS)
1506
01:02:59,947 --> 01:03:02,383
And... and kind of morbid.
1507
01:03:02,416 --> 01:03:05,252
(LAUGHING)
1508
01:03:05,286 --> 01:03:07,321
I never knew it meant
that much to you.
1509
01:03:07,354 --> 01:03:09,691
(DAMIAN) I think it does.
1510
01:03:09,724 --> 01:03:11,760
We should've done it.
1511
01:03:12,761 --> 01:03:14,428
We should do it now.
1512
01:03:15,630 --> 01:03:16,830
We should do it now.
1513
01:03:16,864 --> 01:03:18,799
-Now?
-Yes!
1514
01:03:18,832 --> 01:03:21,068
Why not?
What do we have to lose?
1515
01:03:21,101 --> 01:03:23,103
-Nothing, I guess.
-Yeah!
1516
01:03:23,137 --> 01:03:23,904
(LAUGHING)
1517
01:03:23,937 --> 01:03:25,306
How do we do this?
1518
01:03:25,339 --> 01:03:26,741
How do we do this now?
1519
01:03:26,775 --> 01:03:27,975
I'm ordained.
1520
01:03:28,008 --> 01:03:29,443
-(DAMIAN) What?
-Yeah.
1521
01:03:29,476 --> 01:03:31,178
I did it online last summer
1522
01:03:31,211 --> 01:03:33,347
when our drummer, Julie,
and our makeup artist
1523
01:03:33,380 --> 01:03:34,815
got married in Costa Rica.
1524
01:03:34,848 --> 01:03:38,452
(SCREAMS)
Well, that-that's amazing!
1525
01:03:38,485 --> 01:03:39,688
(LAUGHING)
1526
01:03:39,721 --> 01:03:41,656
Amazing! He can do it!
1527
01:03:41,690 --> 01:03:43,123
(LAUGHING) Let's do it!
1528
01:03:43,157 --> 01:03:46,561
(BRIGHT, CEREMONIAL MUSIC
PLAYING)
1529
01:04:04,244 --> 01:04:05,846
(LAUGHS SOFTLY)
1530
01:04:10,484 --> 01:04:13,521
-♪ Here comes the bride ♪
-Please stop.
1531
01:04:13,555 --> 01:04:15,590
(LAUGHING)
1532
01:04:25,567 --> 01:04:26,601
Oh.
1533
01:04:27,535 --> 01:04:29,903
-Welcome.
-(CHUCKLING)
1534
01:04:29,937 --> 01:04:31,706
We did it, guys.
1535
01:04:31,740 --> 01:04:32,873
(SIGHING)
1536
01:04:32,906 --> 01:04:35,075
We're gathered here today
for...
1537
01:04:35,109 --> 01:04:39,146
Well, actually,
for Jack and Gill's birthday.
1538
01:04:39,179 --> 01:04:42,983
But then the bomb text
happened,
1539
01:04:43,016 --> 01:04:45,919
and we all rushed down here,
and then...
1540
01:04:45,953 --> 01:04:47,888
other stuff happened.
1541
01:04:50,457 --> 01:04:52,627
Uh, but now we're here,
1542
01:04:52,660 --> 01:04:54,662
celebrating the love
1543
01:04:54,696 --> 01:04:56,430
of Damian and Ishaan.
1544
01:04:57,064 --> 01:04:58,566
You guys ready?
1545
01:04:58,600 --> 01:05:01,536
I'll keep it short
'cause time is of the essence.
1546
01:05:01,569 --> 01:05:02,570
(LAUGHS)
1547
01:05:02,604 --> 01:05:04,405
Damian...
1548
01:05:04,438 --> 01:05:07,742
do you take Ishaan
to be your wedded husband,
1549
01:05:07,776 --> 01:05:09,376
to be your partner in life,
1550
01:05:09,410 --> 01:05:12,279
to share a path of life with,
equal in love,
1551
01:05:12,312 --> 01:05:15,650
embraced as a mirror
of your true self,
1552
01:05:15,683 --> 01:05:19,319
to honor and cherish,
through good times and bad?
1553
01:05:19,854 --> 01:05:21,388
I do.
1554
01:05:22,624 --> 01:05:23,825
(LAUGHING)
1555
01:05:23,858 --> 01:05:25,560
Great answer, buddy.
1556
01:05:25,593 --> 01:05:27,961
Sorry, I just...
I forgot this.
1557
01:05:27,995 --> 01:05:29,898
Yeah. There it is.
1558
01:05:29,930 --> 01:05:31,533
-Thank you.
-It fits.
1559
01:05:31,566 --> 01:05:33,300
(CHUCKLES)
1560
01:05:33,333 --> 01:05:34,368
-Ishaan.
-Huh?
1561
01:05:34,401 --> 01:05:36,303
Same question.
1562
01:05:36,336 --> 01:05:38,840
Do you take Damian
to be your wedded husband,
1563
01:05:38,873 --> 01:05:40,307
to be your partner in life,
1564
01:05:40,340 --> 01:05:45,112
to share a path of life with,
equal in love,
1565
01:05:45,145 --> 01:05:47,882
to honor, to cherish him,
1566
01:05:47,916 --> 01:05:49,116
through good times and bad?
1567
01:05:49,149 --> 01:05:50,951
-(ISHAAN CHUCKLES)
-(SIGHS)
1568
01:05:53,387 --> 01:05:54,722
Just get it on.
1569
01:05:54,756 --> 01:05:56,023
-No, I can't.
-What?
1570
01:05:56,056 --> 01:05:57,792
-(EXPLOSION)
-(ALL SCREAMING)
1571
01:05:57,826 --> 01:05:59,794
Oh, God! It's happening!
1572
01:05:59,828 --> 01:06:02,196
(ALL SCREAMING)
1573
01:06:02,229 --> 01:06:04,866
-Oh my God!
-Was that it?
1574
01:06:04,899 --> 01:06:07,067
-Was that it?
-I don't know.
1575
01:06:07,100 --> 01:06:08,335
(PANTING) Is it over?
1576
01:06:08,368 --> 01:06:10,070
It might've just been
the first one.
1577
01:06:10,103 --> 01:06:12,139
-Oh, shit.
-What?
1578
01:06:12,172 --> 01:06:14,408
-The chef.
-(MO) We need to go get her.
1579
01:06:14,441 --> 01:06:17,144
-(PENELOPE) I'll go.
-(DAMIAN) No. She's dead.
1580
01:06:17,177 --> 01:06:19,446
No. I planned this.
It's my responsibility.
1581
01:06:19,480 --> 01:06:20,481
(PENELOPE) I can go.
1582
01:06:20,515 --> 01:06:22,382
(MO) There might be
nuclear fallout, Penelope.
1583
01:06:22,416 --> 01:06:24,351
-I'm going upstairs.
-Pen, no, no!
1584
01:06:24,384 --> 01:06:26,955
I am going the fuck upstairs!
1585
01:06:26,987 --> 01:06:29,022
Wait!
1586
01:06:29,056 --> 01:06:30,959
I'm going with you.
1587
01:06:30,991 --> 01:06:33,160
-(PANTING)
-Fine.
1588
01:06:33,193 --> 01:06:35,830
-(LOUDLY) Wait!
-(ALL SCREAMING)
1589
01:06:35,864 --> 01:06:37,264
-Shit!
-Jesus Christ!
1590
01:06:37,297 --> 01:06:39,266
You're gonna need protection.
1591
01:06:39,299 --> 01:06:41,001
Why are you screaming that?
1592
01:06:41,034 --> 01:06:42,537
Fuck, Gill.
1593
01:06:42,570 --> 01:06:45,472
(VIBRANT MUSIC PLAYING)
1594
01:06:58,786 --> 01:07:00,688
(MUSIC FADES)
1595
01:07:01,488 --> 01:07:03,357
(SAM) Fuck. Chef?
1596
01:07:03,390 --> 01:07:05,125
Chef?
1597
01:07:05,158 --> 01:07:07,896
-Pen!
-Oh my God!
1598
01:07:07,929 --> 01:07:09,731
(PENELOPE GASPS)
1599
01:07:09,764 --> 01:07:11,064
Oh my God!
1600
01:07:11,098 --> 01:07:13,166
-Still breathing.
-Oh, thank God.
1601
01:07:13,200 --> 01:07:15,168
I wouldn't normally move her
in this state,
1602
01:07:15,202 --> 01:07:18,038
but given the circumstances...
1603
01:07:18,071 --> 01:07:20,508
Pen? Pen? Grab her legs.
1604
01:07:20,542 --> 01:07:22,142
-Come on.
-Okay.
1605
01:07:22,175 --> 01:07:24,512
(SAM GRUNTS) Ready?
One, two, three, go.
1606
01:07:24,546 --> 01:07:26,848
-(GROANING)
-Okay. Move it, move it.
1607
01:07:26,881 --> 01:07:27,949
-Okay.
-Let's go.
1608
01:07:27,982 --> 01:07:29,216
-Easy, easy.
-Sam, faster.
1609
01:07:29,249 --> 01:07:30,552
No, no, no. Easy, easy.
1610
01:07:30,585 --> 01:07:32,319
-Okay.
-(PANTING)
1611
01:07:32,352 --> 01:07:36,156
-(GROANING)
-(VIBRANT MUSIC PLAYING)
1612
01:07:38,392 --> 01:07:40,260
(EMERGENCY ALERT TONE PLAYING)
1613
01:07:40,294 --> 01:07:42,730
-Pen! (GROANS)
-Shit.
1614
01:07:44,866 --> 01:07:46,099
(SAM) Fucking hell...
1615
01:07:46,133 --> 01:07:47,969
(PENELOPE) There's no bomb.
1616
01:07:48,002 --> 01:07:49,436
(SAM) What?
1617
01:07:49,469 --> 01:07:51,606
(PANTING)
1618
01:07:52,239 --> 01:07:54,842
There's no fucking bomb.
1619
01:07:54,876 --> 01:07:57,045
(LIVELY MUSIC PLAYING)
1620
01:07:57,077 --> 01:07:59,581
Pen! Oh, shit!
1621
01:08:00,982 --> 01:08:03,116
-Oh, God.
-(PANTING)
1622
01:08:03,150 --> 01:08:05,019
There's no bomb!
1623
01:08:05,053 --> 01:08:06,386
-What?
-What?!
1624
01:08:06,420 --> 01:08:08,690
"There is no missile threat
or danger
1625
01:08:08,723 --> 01:08:11,124
to the state of California.
1626
01:08:11,158 --> 01:08:13,393
Repeat. False alarm."
1627
01:08:13,427 --> 01:08:15,730
-Oh my God!
-Is it real?
1628
01:08:15,763 --> 01:08:18,365
We're gonna live! (LAUGHING)
1629
01:08:18,398 --> 01:08:21,569
-Oh my goodness!
-(PANTING AND LAUGHING)
1630
01:08:21,603 --> 01:08:24,338
Let's get the fuck
outta this basement then!
1631
01:08:24,371 --> 01:08:27,240
Yeah, yeah. Wait, but...
but what was that explosion?
1632
01:08:27,274 --> 01:08:29,077
(GILL) Oh my God.
I'm gonna get outta here.
1633
01:08:29,109 --> 01:08:30,678
(MO) Oh my God!
1634
01:08:30,712 --> 01:08:33,413
Oh, shit. Guys, hey, we--
I'm sorry, babe.
1635
01:08:33,447 --> 01:08:35,083
We should get Jack
to the couch
1636
01:08:35,115 --> 01:08:36,383
so he can put his foot up.
1637
01:08:36,416 --> 01:08:38,151
Sorry. He just needs
to sit down.
1638
01:08:38,185 --> 01:08:40,487
Okay. It's okay.
We're almost there.
1639
01:08:40,521 --> 01:08:43,457
-(EMERGENCY ALERT TONE PLAYS)
-Oh, let me get a pillow here.
1640
01:08:43,490 --> 01:08:46,594
-Oh my God. (PANTING)
-(ALL PHONES CHIMING AT ONCE)
1641
01:08:46,628 --> 01:08:49,329
-(GASPS) Oh.
-(ALL PHONES CONTINUE CHIMING)
1642
01:08:49,363 --> 01:08:51,264
-I got the same text.
-So did I.
1643
01:08:51,298 --> 01:08:53,166
Lana texted. She and Rocco
are gonna be okay.
1644
01:08:53,200 --> 01:08:54,802
My parents are okay.
1645
01:08:54,836 --> 01:08:56,503
They were hiding
in their garage.
1646
01:08:56,537 --> 01:08:58,171
I mean, was this
a false alarm?
1647
01:08:58,205 --> 01:08:59,607
What the fuck?
It's so fucked up.
1648
01:08:59,641 --> 01:09:02,910
Who would fuck up
a nuclear bomb?
1649
01:09:02,944 --> 01:09:04,378
The system was hacked.
1650
01:09:04,411 --> 01:09:05,780
We can't know exactly
what happened for sure.
1651
01:09:05,813 --> 01:09:07,982
Another country hacked
our emergency alert system
1652
01:09:08,016 --> 01:09:09,617
and fucked the shit
out of all of us.
1653
01:09:09,651 --> 01:09:12,020
Again, Ishaan, we don't know
it was another country.
1654
01:09:12,053 --> 01:09:14,956
It could've just been a guy
in his underwear in Michigan.
1655
01:09:14,989 --> 01:09:19,226
There's really only one thing
we can know for sure.
1656
01:09:19,259 --> 01:09:20,762
We wouldn't have known
any of this
1657
01:09:20,795 --> 01:09:23,163
if it wasn't for... a phone.
1658
01:09:23,196 --> 01:09:25,165
(BELL CHIMES)
1659
01:09:27,167 --> 01:09:28,569
What?
1660
01:09:29,637 --> 01:09:31,739
Why are you looking
at me like that?
1661
01:09:31,773 --> 01:09:33,273
Well...
1662
01:09:34,509 --> 01:09:36,309
Penelope...
1663
01:09:36,343 --> 01:09:38,546
because if you didn't...
1664
01:09:38,579 --> 01:09:40,414
sneaky-sneaky
1665
01:09:40,447 --> 01:09:42,884
and go grab the unplug box,
1666
01:09:42,917 --> 01:09:46,954
we would still be celebrating
our birthday party.
1667
01:09:46,988 --> 01:09:48,056
-Mm-hmm.
-Hmm?
1668
01:09:48,089 --> 01:09:50,323
Maybe eatin' some of that...
1669
01:09:50,357 --> 01:09:52,760
-Thug Pussy, was it?
-Yeah. Mm-hmm.
1670
01:09:52,794 --> 01:09:54,829
Wouldn't have experienced
any of this.
1671
01:09:54,862 --> 01:09:56,130
No, none of it.
1672
01:09:56,164 --> 01:09:57,732
Who has a no-phone party
1673
01:09:57,765 --> 01:10:00,535
and invites the mother
of a newborn?
1674
01:10:01,401 --> 01:10:04,237
Well, I'll tell you who.
Me. I do.
1675
01:10:04,271 --> 01:10:05,673
-He does.
-Yeah.
1676
01:10:05,707 --> 01:10:07,642
You don't have kids,
so you don't understand.
1677
01:10:07,675 --> 01:10:10,243
-That's a little insensitive.
-Oh, shut up.
1678
01:10:10,277 --> 01:10:12,446
It's just a fact, Gill.
1679
01:10:12,479 --> 01:10:14,381
Okay, first of all, don't tell
my wife to shut up.
1680
01:10:14,414 --> 01:10:15,750
-Thank you.
-New mothers
1681
01:10:15,783 --> 01:10:18,452
really shouldn't be away
from their babies
1682
01:10:18,485 --> 01:10:20,387
in the first few months.
1683
01:10:20,420 --> 01:10:21,856
That sounds very judgy.
1684
01:10:21,889 --> 01:10:24,291
And they definitely
should not be attending
1685
01:10:24,324 --> 01:10:27,195
no-phone parties unknowingly.
1686
01:10:27,227 --> 01:10:28,596
-Called unplug parties.
-Absolutely.
1687
01:10:28,629 --> 01:10:30,832
It is to get
old friends together
1688
01:10:30,865 --> 01:10:32,299
-to connect...
-Connect.
1689
01:10:32,332 --> 01:10:34,135
-...without phones!
-Absolutely right.
1690
01:10:34,168 --> 01:10:35,536
Which we would have done
1691
01:10:35,570 --> 01:10:38,139
-if you didn't grab yours.
-Mm-hmm.
1692
01:10:38,172 --> 01:10:39,574
I didn't ask to escape reality
1693
01:10:39,607 --> 01:10:42,309
and I didn't create
this disaster.
1694
01:10:42,342 --> 01:10:44,712
It's not my fault.
1695
01:10:44,746 --> 01:10:45,847
-Mmm...
-Eh...
1696
01:10:45,880 --> 01:10:47,414
-Except it kinda is.
-Yeah.
1697
01:10:47,447 --> 01:10:49,416
Even Gill took the night off,
and she's addicted
1698
01:10:49,449 --> 01:10:51,152
-to her fucking phone.
-Thank you.
1699
01:10:51,185 --> 01:10:53,054
Fine.
1700
01:10:53,087 --> 01:10:55,223
If it makes you feel better,
blame me.
1701
01:10:55,255 --> 01:10:56,758
I don't give a shit.
1702
01:10:56,791 --> 01:10:58,391
I think I'm gonna go now.
1703
01:10:58,425 --> 01:11:00,561
-Okay.
-Okay, that sounds great.
1704
01:11:00,595 --> 01:11:02,663
-You coming?
-Do you even want me
1705
01:11:02,697 --> 01:11:04,632
to come with you?
1706
01:11:04,665 --> 01:11:06,667
I'm going to be
with our son, Sam.
1707
01:11:06,701 --> 01:11:09,237
-Are you coming?
-It's late, and it's far,
1708
01:11:09,269 --> 01:11:11,271
and Rocco's
probably asleep by now.
1709
01:11:11,304 --> 01:11:12,874
-Oh my God.
-He's fine, Pen.
1710
01:11:12,907 --> 01:11:15,710
-Your priorities are fucked.
-Oh, my priorities?
1711
01:11:15,743 --> 01:11:17,779
You just told me
you don't fucking love me,
1712
01:11:17,812 --> 01:11:18,780
so don't come at me
1713
01:11:18,813 --> 01:11:20,248
with your fucking priorities
right now.
1714
01:11:20,280 --> 01:11:21,983
-I'm done.
-Okay, see you later.
1715
01:11:22,016 --> 01:11:23,184
No, you won't.
1716
01:11:23,217 --> 01:11:26,621
Thank you for
a horrible evening, everyone.
1717
01:11:26,654 --> 01:11:27,420
Good night.
1718
01:11:27,454 --> 01:11:29,090
(LOGAN) Good night!
1719
01:11:29,123 --> 01:11:30,992
(FOOTSTEPS CLACKING)
1720
01:11:31,025 --> 01:11:33,060
-(DOOR OPENS)
-(GILL SIGHS)
1721
01:11:33,094 --> 01:11:34,629
(DOOR CLOSES)
1722
01:11:34,662 --> 01:11:36,329
(SOBBING)
1723
01:11:36,363 --> 01:11:38,365
Sammy. Sammy, boy.
1724
01:11:38,398 --> 01:11:39,466
Hold on, I got...
1725
01:11:39,499 --> 01:11:42,203
-Hey.
-(CRYING, SNIFFLING)
1726
01:11:42,236 --> 01:11:44,972
-(GILL) Honey?
-I'm sorry, man.
1727
01:11:46,240 --> 01:11:49,277
Did you have any fun?
1728
01:11:49,309 --> 01:11:50,978
-Yeah, she did.
-Um...
1729
01:11:51,012 --> 01:11:52,079
(LOGAN CHUCKLES)
1730
01:11:53,848 --> 01:11:55,616
What happened down there?
1731
01:11:55,650 --> 01:11:57,985
-Why'd you say you can't?
-(SIGHS)
1732
01:11:58,019 --> 01:11:59,352
Can we talk about this later?
1733
01:11:59,386 --> 01:12:00,621
No, I want
to talk about it right now.
1734
01:12:00,655 --> 01:12:03,390
(LAUGHS) I don't want
to upset you, Damian.
1735
01:12:03,423 --> 01:12:05,660
No, it's too late for that.
1736
01:12:06,127 --> 01:12:07,562
(SIGHS)
1737
01:12:07,595 --> 01:12:10,463
Hon, I've always been
very honest
1738
01:12:10,497 --> 01:12:12,365
about my feelings on marriage.
1739
01:12:12,399 --> 01:12:14,569
I'm not a big fan.
I never have been.
1740
01:12:14,602 --> 01:12:16,771
I was open with you about that
from the very first day.
1741
01:12:16,804 --> 01:12:18,873
(DAMIAN) Yeah, exactly.
That was in the beginning.
1742
01:12:18,906 --> 01:12:20,741
-That was years ago.
-Nothing has changed.
1743
01:12:20,775 --> 01:12:22,342
-Everything's changed.
-What's changed?
1744
01:12:22,375 --> 01:12:23,511
Every... You and I
have changed.
1745
01:12:23,544 --> 01:12:24,846
We've been together
for ten years.
1746
01:12:24,879 --> 01:12:25,913
I got you through cancer.
1747
01:12:25,947 --> 01:12:28,149
(ISHAAN) I love you
so much, Damian. I...
1748
01:12:28,182 --> 01:12:29,917
-Do you?
-Yes!
1749
01:12:29,951 --> 01:12:32,320
I am a child of divorce.
1750
01:12:32,352 --> 01:12:34,622
I am... I am
a divorce attorney.
1751
01:12:34,655 --> 01:12:36,791
I know better. I have seen
the worst in people.
1752
01:12:36,824 --> 01:12:39,459
Well, then why did you agree
to it down in the basement?
1753
01:12:39,492 --> 01:12:40,995
I was in shock!
1754
01:12:41,028 --> 01:12:44,732
You asked me to do it in front
of all of your friends.
1755
01:12:44,765 --> 01:12:46,234
We thought...
1756
01:12:46,267 --> 01:12:47,902
We thought we were gonna die.
1757
01:12:47,935 --> 01:12:51,105
Oh, okay, so that's
the only way you'd marry me.
1758
01:12:53,307 --> 01:12:54,508
Cool.
1759
01:12:55,543 --> 01:12:56,644
(ISHAAN) I think that we both
just need to take
1760
01:12:56,677 --> 01:12:57,945
-a couple breaths.
-(EXHALES)
1761
01:12:57,979 --> 01:12:59,547
It's been a really long night,
Damian.
1762
01:12:59,580 --> 01:13:02,316
The night's just getting
started, party people!
1763
01:13:02,350 --> 01:13:04,986
-What?!
-Oh my God, Chef Sasha.
1764
01:13:05,019 --> 01:13:06,888
Oh, it's kickin' in, huh?
1765
01:13:06,921 --> 01:13:09,389
-What happened to you?
-Oh, I am so sorry.
1766
01:13:09,422 --> 01:13:11,391
My liquid nitrogen tank
exploded
1767
01:13:11,424 --> 01:13:12,627
and I blacked out for a bit.
1768
01:13:12,660 --> 01:13:14,128
-But, all good now.
-(GASPS)
1769
01:13:14,161 --> 01:13:15,395
That was the sound.
1770
01:13:15,428 --> 01:13:17,298
Um, I-I do have
1771
01:13:17,331 --> 01:13:19,000
some bad news.
1772
01:13:19,367 --> 01:13:20,868
What?
1773
01:13:24,605 --> 01:13:27,008
There is no side of sorbet.
1774
01:13:27,440 --> 01:13:28,576
-Oh.
-Oh!
1775
01:13:28,609 --> 01:13:30,177
-We don't need sorbet.
-Yeah.
1776
01:13:30,211 --> 01:13:31,712
I would actually like
some sorbet.
1777
01:13:31,746 --> 01:13:33,581
Well, she's had a long night,
you know?
1778
01:13:33,614 --> 01:13:36,416
- She has?
-(CLEARS THROAT)
1779
01:13:36,449 --> 01:13:39,053
(SOFT MUSIC PLAYING)
1780
01:13:40,487 --> 01:13:42,556
I only have
the lemon blueberry pavlova
1781
01:13:42,590 --> 01:13:44,525
with cannabutter
and the tiramisu
1782
01:13:44,558 --> 01:13:46,459
with coconut-infused
mascarpone
1783
01:13:46,493 --> 01:13:48,428
for my vegan brother,
1784
01:13:48,461 --> 01:13:51,332
both coming in
at a solid 15 milligrams
1785
01:13:51,365 --> 01:13:53,067
of THC per ser--
1786
01:13:53,100 --> 01:13:56,771
(COUGHING)
1787
01:13:56,804 --> 01:13:58,706
I'm fine, it's just
the nitrogen poisoning.
1788
01:13:58,739 --> 01:14:00,541
It'll wear off in a few weeks.
1789
01:14:00,574 --> 01:14:02,310
-Okay.
-Both desserts use
1790
01:14:02,343 --> 01:14:04,378
one of my favorite strains,
1791
01:14:04,412 --> 01:14:05,947
-Pink Punani...
-Of course.
1792
01:14:05,980 --> 01:14:09,216
...which should help you
unleash your creativity,
1793
01:14:09,250 --> 01:14:10,851
like it did mine.
1794
01:14:13,621 --> 01:14:15,589
-Oh... my God.
-Wow.
1795
01:14:15,623 --> 01:14:17,925
-Okay.
-Center of the table, please.
1796
01:14:17,959 --> 01:14:22,163
(GILL) Oh, God,
that's so beautiful!
1797
01:14:22,196 --> 01:14:23,631
(BELL JINGLING)
1798
01:14:23,664 --> 01:14:25,733
Please don't touch it
till after I leave.
1799
01:14:25,766 --> 01:14:27,668
-You got it. Of course.
-Thank you.
1800
01:14:27,702 --> 01:14:30,771
Well, I don't want to, uh,
hold up the party,
1801
01:14:30,805 --> 01:14:32,740
and I think I should lie down
1802
01:14:32,773 --> 01:14:34,775
and probably drink
some vinegar.
1803
01:14:34,809 --> 01:14:37,578
I have had such
an amazing time
1804
01:14:37,611 --> 01:14:39,479
getting to know each
and every one of you
1805
01:14:39,513 --> 01:14:41,849
and being your guide
on this journey.
1806
01:14:41,882 --> 01:14:43,851
Thank you so much
1807
01:14:43,884 --> 01:14:45,319
and, truly,
1808
01:14:45,353 --> 01:14:46,654
namaste.
1809
01:14:46,687 --> 01:14:48,456
-Thank you so much.
-Thank you.
1810
01:14:48,488 --> 01:14:50,157
-Thank you, Chef Sasha.
-Chef Sasha.
1811
01:14:50,191 --> 01:14:51,525
(BELL DINGS)
1812
01:14:51,559 --> 01:14:53,794
(SOFT, MELLOW MUSIC PLAYING)
1813
01:14:53,828 --> 01:14:55,663
-She doesn't even know.
-(GILL LAUGHS)
1814
01:14:55,696 --> 01:14:57,798
Maybe when she blacked out,
1815
01:14:57,832 --> 01:14:59,233
she forgot about the bomb?
1816
01:14:59,266 --> 01:15:01,969
She probably turns her phone
off when she's working
1817
01:15:02,003 --> 01:15:05,139
so she can stay... present
and be in the moment
1818
01:15:05,172 --> 01:15:08,976
and actually enjoy
the experience of cooking.
1819
01:15:09,010 --> 01:15:11,545
Those desserts do look
pretty good.
1820
01:15:11,579 --> 01:15:13,280
Yeah, they do.
1821
01:15:13,314 --> 01:15:14,949
Here, hold this.
1822
01:15:16,517 --> 01:15:18,052
Excuse me.
1823
01:15:18,586 --> 01:15:20,054
Excuse me.
1824
01:15:22,590 --> 01:15:24,191
Where are you going, honey?
1825
01:15:26,494 --> 01:15:28,062
(GILL SIGHS)
1826
01:15:32,800 --> 01:15:34,568
(JACK) What's she doing?
1827
01:15:35,736 --> 01:15:38,406
-Oh, shit!
-What... did that go...
1828
01:15:38,439 --> 01:15:40,808
That is so punk rock! Yes!
1829
01:15:40,841 --> 01:15:43,411
Oh my God!
I can't believe I did that!
1830
01:15:43,444 --> 01:15:45,346
-(LAUGHING)
-I just threw
1831
01:15:45,379 --> 01:15:46,580
my phone in the fire!
1832
01:15:46,614 --> 01:15:47,748
(LOGAN) Yeah, you fucking did!
1833
01:15:47,782 --> 01:15:49,717
And it felt so fucking good!
1834
01:15:49,750 --> 01:15:52,486
-(LOGAN) Come on!
-(LAUGHING)
1835
01:15:52,521 --> 01:15:53,821
(GILL) Come on,
who's with me?
1836
01:15:53,854 --> 01:15:55,122
-(LOGAN) I'm with you.
-Yes, Logan!
1837
01:15:55,156 --> 01:15:56,991
-Give me your phone!
-I don't know where mine is.
1838
01:15:57,024 --> 01:15:58,926
(GILL) He doesn't even know
where his phone is!
1839
01:15:58,959 --> 01:16:00,361
That's perfect.
Mo, come on. Sam.
1840
01:16:00,394 --> 01:16:03,597
Let's throw all of our phones
in the fucking fire!
1841
01:16:03,631 --> 01:16:05,466
Let's feel free!
1842
01:16:05,499 --> 01:16:06,600
-Wow.
-(GILL) Jack.
1843
01:16:06,634 --> 01:16:09,303
My darling, I'll help you.
1844
01:16:09,336 --> 01:16:11,772
Yes! Yes! (LAUGHING)
1845
01:16:11,806 --> 01:16:13,741
I love you so much!
1846
01:16:13,774 --> 01:16:16,143
Hey, I love you too.
1847
01:16:16,177 --> 01:16:19,180
-(LOGAN) Oh, yeah! That's hot.
-(GILL MOANS)
1848
01:16:20,247 --> 01:16:21,248
(GILL LAUGHS)
1849
01:16:21,282 --> 01:16:22,750
-You can do this!
-(LOGAN) Proud of you, buddy.
1850
01:16:22,783 --> 01:16:24,618
-Come on! Come on!
-You can do this!
1851
01:16:24,652 --> 01:16:25,786
(LOGAN) Do it! Oh.
1852
01:16:25,820 --> 01:16:27,721
-I missed.
-I'll get it for you.
1853
01:16:27,755 --> 01:16:28,756
-Okay.
-I'll get it.
1854
01:16:28,789 --> 01:16:30,257
-(LOGAN LAUGHS)
-(JACK) Okay.
1855
01:16:30,291 --> 01:16:32,259
Ow. Ow. Okay.
1856
01:16:33,694 --> 01:16:35,429
-(GRUNTS)
-(JACK) Yes.
1857
01:16:35,463 --> 01:16:36,565
(GRUNTS)
1858
01:16:36,597 --> 01:16:38,499
Doesn't that feel good?
1859
01:16:38,533 --> 01:16:40,768
It would've felt better
if I made it, but yeah.
1860
01:16:40,801 --> 01:16:42,369
Here, come on, it's okay.
1861
01:16:42,403 --> 01:16:44,038
Let's watch it burn.
1862
01:16:45,473 --> 01:16:46,774
I mean, I'm fully with them,
1863
01:16:46,807 --> 01:16:49,877
but I think I'm just
gonna put it on vibrate.
1864
01:16:49,910 --> 01:16:51,712
Right?
1865
01:16:51,745 --> 01:16:54,181
(GILL) We're gonna be okay,
right?
1866
01:16:55,382 --> 01:16:57,251
(JACK) I hope so.
1867
01:16:57,284 --> 01:16:59,320
It would suck if we weren't.
1868
01:16:59,353 --> 01:17:00,555
(GILL CHUCKLES)
1869
01:17:00,589 --> 01:17:03,624
(SOFT, MELLOW MUSIC PLAYING)
1870
01:17:06,127 --> 01:17:10,664
I promise to make
more time for you,
1871
01:17:10,698 --> 01:17:12,601
and I won't let
so much time go by
1872
01:17:12,633 --> 01:17:15,269
without connecting
with you, okay?
1873
01:17:16,036 --> 01:17:17,938
Okay.
1874
01:17:17,972 --> 01:17:20,841
I promise not to smoke
so much pot on the couch.
1875
01:17:20,875 --> 01:17:23,110
-Oh!
-(JACK) I'll...
1876
01:17:23,144 --> 01:17:26,046
try to mix it up and smoke
some on the patio instead.
1877
01:17:26,080 --> 01:17:27,848
(BOTH LAUGHING)
1878
01:17:27,882 --> 01:17:31,085
(GENTLY PLAYING PIANO NOTES)
1879
01:17:33,220 --> 01:17:35,557
We can't say anything
about anything.
1880
01:17:35,590 --> 01:17:37,626
Just... act normal.
1881
01:17:37,658 --> 01:17:39,260
Nothing happened.
1882
01:17:40,661 --> 01:17:43,130
Yeah, no, I can't do that.
1883
01:17:44,732 --> 01:17:48,969
-You have to.
-I can't, because...
1884
01:17:49,003 --> 01:17:51,805
you told me you're still
in love with me, Mo.
1885
01:17:52,574 --> 01:17:55,610
(PIANO NOTES CONTINUE)
1886
01:17:55,644 --> 01:17:57,244
Well, it was
an intense moment.
1887
01:17:57,278 --> 01:17:59,013
I thought we were gonna die.
1888
01:17:59,046 --> 01:18:02,816
Right, but isn't that
when people share
1889
01:18:02,850 --> 01:18:05,052
their most intimate thoughts?
1890
01:18:06,921 --> 01:18:09,723
(PLAYS TWO LOWER NOTES)
1891
01:18:11,759 --> 01:18:13,562
(JACK) We'll get
through anything,
1892
01:18:13,595 --> 01:18:15,996
as long as I don't lose you.
1893
01:18:16,030 --> 01:18:17,398
No.
1894
01:18:17,932 --> 01:18:20,134
You'll never lose me.
1895
01:18:21,636 --> 01:18:23,437
You're my family.
1896
01:18:25,839 --> 01:18:27,808
I love you...
1897
01:18:28,475 --> 01:18:30,077
so...
1898
01:18:30,110 --> 01:18:32,479
fucking much.
1899
01:18:34,048 --> 01:18:38,252
Well, I love you
so fucking much.
1900
01:18:42,089 --> 01:18:45,960
(MO) ♪ We make no plans ♪
1901
01:18:45,993 --> 01:18:49,396
(GENTLE PIANO MUSIC PLAYING)
1902
01:18:49,430 --> 01:18:54,735
♪ Make out all our checks
to cash ♪
1903
01:18:55,936 --> 01:18:58,105
♪ See, I got no future ♪
1904
01:18:58,138 --> 01:19:00,341
♪ 'Cause with you,
there's no past ♪
1905
01:19:00,374 --> 01:19:05,513
♪ So make our checks
to cash ♪
1906
01:19:09,383 --> 01:19:13,887
♪ Just give me space ♪
1907
01:19:16,857 --> 01:19:22,697
♪ We've got enough time
to erase ♪
1908
01:19:22,731 --> 01:19:27,901
♪ See, I've been pretending
so we both could save face ♪
1909
01:19:27,935 --> 01:19:32,473
♪ So make our checks
to cash ♪
1910
01:19:33,407 --> 01:19:38,846
♪ And don't wait ♪
1911
01:19:38,879 --> 01:19:44,151
♪ Don't wait ♪
1912
01:19:44,184 --> 01:19:46,954
You guys, you sound
so beautiful together.
1913
01:19:46,987 --> 01:19:49,658
Ah. Oldie but a goodie.
1914
01:19:49,691 --> 01:19:51,158
Hey! We haven't sung
1915
01:19:51,191 --> 01:19:52,860
"Happy Birthday"
to these two yet.
1916
01:19:52,893 --> 01:19:54,962
-(MO) Yeah!
-No, you don't have to sing.
1917
01:19:54,995 --> 01:19:56,930
-Yes, we do.
-Yes, we do,
1918
01:19:56,964 --> 01:19:58,832
and here's your key,
everybody.
1919
01:19:58,866 --> 01:19:59,933
(PLAYS NOTE)
1920
01:19:59,967 --> 01:20:03,070
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
1921
01:20:03,103 --> 01:20:06,440
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
1922
01:20:06,473 --> 01:20:09,778
♪ Happy birthday,
dear Jack and Gill ♪
1923
01:20:09,810 --> 01:20:11,178
(LAUGHING)
1924
01:20:11,211 --> 01:20:17,752
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
1925
01:20:17,786 --> 01:20:19,521
-(APPLAUSE)
-Aw, thank you.
1926
01:20:19,554 --> 01:20:22,657
-I love you guys so much.
-Yeah, we love you guys.
1927
01:20:22,691 --> 01:20:25,059
Let's eat! Ow!
1928
01:20:25,092 --> 01:20:27,261
(MO) Great idea. Ooh,
I want one of these thingies.
1929
01:20:27,294 --> 01:20:28,996
(GILL) Ooh, I want
one of these.
1930
01:20:29,029 --> 01:20:30,264
Give me a little
of that tiramisu.
1931
01:20:30,297 --> 01:20:32,600
-(GILL) Do you want some?
-(JACK) Yes, please.
1932
01:20:33,300 --> 01:20:34,401
(LOGAN GROANS)
1933
01:20:34,435 --> 01:20:36,771
(GILL) Oh! Oh! Oh! Ah!
1934
01:20:36,805 --> 01:20:38,272
(GILL GIGGLES)
1935
01:20:39,774 --> 01:20:41,643
-Oh!
-(JACK MOANS)
1936
01:20:41,676 --> 01:20:44,311
(GILL) Mmm! Oh my God!
1937
01:20:44,345 --> 01:20:47,481
(CRICKETS CHIRPING)
1938
01:20:52,019 --> 01:20:53,921
Feels good to be alive.
1939
01:20:54,955 --> 01:20:57,024
-(JACK) It really does.
-(GILL) You guys...
1940
01:20:57,057 --> 01:21:00,327
♪ Guess what time it is ♪
1941
01:21:00,361 --> 01:21:04,431
It's time for a dance party!
Whoo!
1942
01:21:04,465 --> 01:21:07,134
-Come on! Guys...
-(MO) She's lost her mind.
1943
01:21:07,167 --> 01:21:10,070
Let's do it. No, no, no.
We need some music.
1944
01:21:10,104 --> 01:21:12,373
-("CHERRY" PLAYING)
-Oh, there it goes.
1945
01:21:12,406 --> 01:21:15,242
I love this song!
Let's turn it up!
1946
01:21:15,275 --> 01:21:17,177
Yeah! Oh my God!
1947
01:21:17,211 --> 01:21:19,913
-Let's do it.
-(GILL) Yes, I knew you would.
1948
01:21:19,947 --> 01:21:20,981
Bring it, girl.
1949
01:21:21,014 --> 01:21:23,083
Come on! (LAUGHING)
1950
01:21:23,117 --> 01:21:25,185
You want to dance with me?
I am crazy!
1951
01:21:25,219 --> 01:21:28,021
I know you still got
those moves. Come on!
1952
01:21:28,055 --> 01:21:30,124
Come on. Yes, girl! Mo...
1953
01:21:30,157 --> 01:21:32,893
♪ That is having
a good night ♪
1954
01:21:32,926 --> 01:21:34,361
♪ I'm going to the bathroom ♪
1955
01:21:34,395 --> 01:21:36,664
♪ No, come back,
where you goin'? ♪
1956
01:21:36,698 --> 01:21:38,065
♪ Oh my God ♪
1957
01:21:38,098 --> 01:21:40,367
♪ I'ma stir it up
like a cherry in a cup ♪
1958
01:21:40,401 --> 01:21:42,970
-♪ Shake it, shake it up ♪
-Yes!
1959
01:21:43,003 --> 01:21:45,573
Yes! Come on, Sam!
1960
01:21:46,173 --> 01:21:47,207
I'm 40...
1961
01:21:47,241 --> 01:21:49,811
-(BOOM, RUMBLING)
-(GASPS) What the fuck is...
1962
01:21:49,844 --> 01:21:52,279
(RATTLING AND RUMBLING)
1963
01:21:53,113 --> 01:21:55,015
-(GLASS SHATTERS)
-Earthquake!
1964
01:21:55,048 --> 01:21:57,017
(EMERGENCY ALERT TONE PLAYING)
1965
01:21:57,050 --> 01:22:00,320
("CHERRY" BY CHAIR MODEL
CONTINUES)
1966
01:22:02,524 --> 01:22:05,225
(GILL) Hello, hello, hello,
listeners.
1967
01:22:05,259 --> 01:22:07,629
Welcome back to
Marriage in the Middle Ages,
1968
01:22:07,662 --> 01:22:10,799
where we talk about
everything and anything to do
1969
01:22:10,832 --> 01:22:12,232
with marriage.
1970
01:22:12,266 --> 01:22:15,603
With me today
is a very special guest.
1971
01:22:15,637 --> 01:22:19,206
You have heard me talk about
him many, many times before
1972
01:22:19,239 --> 01:22:22,811
because he is my husband.
1973
01:22:22,844 --> 01:22:25,814
Please welcome Jack Langer.
1974
01:22:25,847 --> 01:22:27,247
-(APPLAUSE)
-(JACK) Oh,
1975
01:22:27,281 --> 01:22:29,450
I didn't realize there'd be
an applause track.
1976
01:22:29,483 --> 01:22:31,586
That's nice. I kinda want that
every time I get introduced.
1977
01:22:31,619 --> 01:22:33,420
-(GILL) All for you, baby.
-(JACK) Thank you.
1978
01:22:33,454 --> 01:22:35,456
Well, it's good to see you,
my wife.
1979
01:22:35,489 --> 01:22:37,958
(GILL LAUGHS)
It's good to see you too,
1980
01:22:37,991 --> 01:22:39,561
my husband.
1981
01:22:39,594 --> 01:22:41,395
-Thank you.
-(JACK) Yes, long overdue.
1982
01:22:41,428 --> 01:22:43,130
(GILL) Thank you
for joining us.
1983
01:22:43,163 --> 01:22:45,999
Today is the day
that we are going to tell
1984
01:22:46,033 --> 01:22:49,002
all the listeners
all about...
1985
01:22:49,036 --> 01:22:50,437
Drumroll, please.
1986
01:22:50,471 --> 01:22:53,440
-(DRUMROLL PLAYING)
-...our 40th birthday party.
1987
01:22:53,474 --> 01:22:54,776
(JACK) Oy gevalt.
1988
01:22:54,809 --> 01:22:56,243
Yes, I... I'm not sure
1989
01:22:56,276 --> 01:22:58,011
I'm ready to relive this,
1990
01:22:58,045 --> 01:23:00,013
but I am here for you
1991
01:23:00,047 --> 01:23:02,483
and your wonderful listeners.
1992
01:23:02,517 --> 01:23:04,519
(GILL) So, Jack,
1993
01:23:04,552 --> 01:23:06,153
you ready to dive in?
1994
01:23:06,186 --> 01:23:08,355
(JACK) Yes, let's go.
1995
01:23:09,056 --> 01:23:12,894
♪ Light me up ♪
1996
01:23:12,927 --> 01:23:16,063
("LIGHT ME UP"
BY FAMILY OF THINGS PLAYING)
1997
01:23:21,803 --> 01:23:25,673
♪ Light me up ♪
1998
01:23:36,684 --> 01:23:39,086
♪ I'm moving
through the heat ♪
1999
01:23:39,119 --> 01:23:40,822
♪ This room is hazy ♪
2000
01:23:40,855 --> 01:23:45,259
♪ Keep running to the lights
inside my head ♪
2001
01:23:45,292 --> 01:23:47,361
♪ I find myself a drink ♪
2002
01:23:47,394 --> 01:23:52,032
♪ And now it seems
I'm six or seven deep ♪
2003
01:23:52,967 --> 01:23:55,435
♪ Good God ♪
2004
01:23:55,469 --> 01:23:58,171
♪ I'm gonna feel this
in the morning ♪
2005
01:23:58,205 --> 01:24:01,609
♪ But I don't care
right now ♪
2006
01:24:01,643 --> 01:24:04,144
♪ I'm gonna keep
this party going ♪
2007
01:24:04,177 --> 01:24:06,113
♪ So light me up ♪
2008
01:24:10,384 --> 01:24:12,687
♪ So light me up ♪
2009
01:24:16,858 --> 01:24:18,492
♪ So light me ♪
2010
01:24:18,526 --> 01:24:20,929
♪ A face I've never seen ♪
2011
01:24:20,962 --> 01:24:22,630
♪ Her body close to me ♪
2012
01:24:22,664 --> 01:24:27,100
♪ And suddenly
there's nothing in between ♪
2013
01:24:27,134 --> 01:24:29,169
♪ Keep moving to the beat ♪
2014
01:24:29,202 --> 01:24:31,039
♪ Last call,
I like 'em neat ♪
2015
01:24:31,071 --> 01:24:33,473
♪ It's half past three ♪
2016
01:24:34,876 --> 01:24:37,277
♪ Good God ♪
2017
01:24:37,311 --> 01:24:39,948
♪ I'm gonna feel this
in the morning ♪
2018
01:24:39,981 --> 01:24:43,417
♪ But I don't care
right now ♪
2019
01:24:43,450 --> 01:24:46,153
♪ I'm gonna keep
this party going ♪
2020
01:24:47,187 --> 01:24:49,624
♪ Good God ♪
2021
01:24:49,657 --> 01:24:52,426
♪ I'm gonna feel this
in the morning ♪
2022
01:24:52,459 --> 01:24:55,797
♪ But I don't care
right now ♪
2023
01:24:55,830 --> 01:24:58,733
♪ I'm gonna keep
this party going ♪
2024
01:24:59,901 --> 01:25:02,302
♪ Good God ♪
2025
01:25:02,336 --> 01:25:04,672
♪ I'm gonna feel this
in the morning ♪
2026
01:25:04,706 --> 01:25:08,509
♪ But I don't care
right now ♪
2027
01:25:08,543 --> 01:25:11,512
♪ I'm gonna keep
this party going ♪
2028
01:25:12,179 --> 01:25:14,649
♪ Good God ♪
2029
01:25:14,682 --> 01:25:17,417
♪ I'm gonna feel this
in the morning ♪
2030
01:25:17,451 --> 01:25:20,822
♪ But I don't care
right now ♪
2031
01:25:20,855 --> 01:25:23,658
♪ I'm gonna keep
this party going ♪
2032
01:25:23,691 --> 01:25:25,660
♪ So light me up ♪
2033
01:25:30,632 --> 01:25:32,033
♪ Keep going ♪
2034
01:25:32,066 --> 01:25:33,701
♪ So light me up ♪
2035
01:25:36,203 --> 01:25:38,238
♪ A face I've never seen ♪
2036
01:25:39,172 --> 01:25:40,307
♪ Keep going ♪
2037
01:25:40,340 --> 01:25:42,209
♪ So light me up ♪
2038
01:25:45,079 --> 01:25:46,814
♪ I've never seen ♪
2039
01:25:48,482 --> 01:25:50,618
♪ So light me up ♪
2040
01:25:53,353 --> 01:25:55,056
♪ Keep going ♪
2041
01:25:55,089 --> 01:25:56,758
♪ Light me up ♪
2042
01:25:58,225 --> 01:26:00,260
♪ Light me up ♪
2043
01:26:00,293 --> 01:26:02,697
♪ Good God ♪
2044
01:26:02,730 --> 01:26:05,465
♪ I'm gonna feel this
in the morning ♪
2045
01:26:05,499 --> 01:26:08,836
♪ But I don't care
right now ♪
2046
01:26:08,870 --> 01:26:11,806
♪ I'm gonna keep
this party going ♪
2047
01:26:12,940 --> 01:26:15,342
♪ Good God ♪
2048
01:26:15,375 --> 01:26:18,046
♪ I'm gonna feel this
in the morning ♪
2049
01:26:18,079 --> 01:26:21,549
♪ But I don't care
right now ♪
2050
01:26:21,582 --> 01:26:24,085
♪ I'm gonna keep
this party going ♪
2051
01:26:24,118 --> 01:26:26,186
♪ So light me up ♪
2052
01:26:30,290 --> 01:26:32,593
♪ So light me up ♪
2053
01:26:36,463 --> 01:26:38,231
♪ So light me up ♪
2054
01:26:38,265 --> 01:26:40,333
(SONG ENDING)
2055
01:26:40,367 --> 01:26:42,904
(DRUMSTICKS CLATTERING)
2056
01:26:42,937 --> 01:26:44,572
Pew, pew, pew.
2056
01:26:45,305 --> 01:27:45,865
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