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Do you want subtitles for any video?
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Our solar system
is composed of nine planets,

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31 moons, thousands of minor planets,

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scores of comets and millions of meteors.

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Each of these heavenly bodies
moves in its orbit,

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quietly, majestically, without incident.

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This is the planet Earth.

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Its occupants also move in a daily orbit,

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but unlike nature, their
course is not quite so regular,

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SO quiet, so majestic.

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Well!
I'm so sorry.

12
00:02:48,713 --> 00:02:50,465
Please forgive me.
Are you all right?

13
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You might watch where you're walking.

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Absolutely stupid of me.
Please forgive me.

15
00:02:54,469 --> 00:02:58,390
Uh, send me a bill for... For
the cleaning of the dress, huh?

16
00:02:58,473 --> 00:03:00,143
Uh, can I get you a cab?
No.

17
00:03:00,560 --> 00:03:01,853
Are you sure you're all right?

18
00:03:01,936 --> 00:03:03,646
I will be just fine.
Never mind.

19
00:03:03,729 --> 00:03:05,356
But...

20
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It's a good thing I wasn't bending over,

21
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fixing a run in my stocking, ain't it?

22
00:03:17,368 --> 00:03:20,413
Yeah, I'm sorry, Officer.
My eyes were on that girl.

23
00:03:21,038 --> 00:03:23,374
Well, just screw 'em back in
your head and keep moving.

24
00:03:25,126 --> 00:03:26,836
Yes, sir.

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00:04:25,479 --> 00:04:27,064
Hey!

26
00:04:27,856 --> 00:04:29,483
That wasn't very nice.

27
00:04:29,566 --> 00:04:32,069
And how come you got
such a slob for a roommate?

28
00:04:32,152 --> 00:04:35,030
Just look at this place. Yes.

29
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Clara? Joan Howell.

30
00:05:35,301 --> 00:05:37,261
Any calls?

31
00:05:37,344 --> 00:05:40,347
Oh? Tomorrow night?
Auditioning for what?

32
00:05:42,516 --> 00:05:44,268
Japanese governess?

33
00:05:44,351 --> 00:05:47,813
Oh, well. I've had sukiyaki
once.

34
00:05:47,896 --> 00:05:50,190
Yeah. Okay. Bye-bye.

35
00:06:02,119 --> 00:06:03,555
Honorable master,

36
00:06:03,579 --> 00:06:07,833
please forgive unworthy
governess for unhappy news.

37
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Honorable son refuse depart television...

38
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For honorable bath.

39
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Everybody's a critic.

40
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Morning.

41
00:06:32,442 --> 00:06:33,485
Hello, Honey.

42
00:06:33,568 --> 00:06:36,237
Good morning, Mr. Milford.
Mr. Granson has been looking for you.

43
00:06:36,321 --> 00:06:37,322
I'm thrilled.

44
00:06:37,405 --> 00:06:38,591
And a Miss Stevens has been calling.

45
00:06:38,615 --> 00:06:41,242
Do me a favor and ring
my apartment, will ya?

46
00:06:42,327 --> 00:06:45,663
Miss Stevens was wondering
if you'd found a contact lens.

47
00:06:45,747 --> 00:06:47,624
In your bedroom.

48
00:06:47,749 --> 00:06:49,292
Well, don't look at me that way.

49
00:06:49,376 --> 00:06:53,338
I mean, I can't help it if Miss Stevens
happens to have long eyeballs.

50
00:06:53,421 --> 00:06:55,757
Hello. Mr. Milford here.
I was... What's that?

51
00:06:55,840 --> 00:06:59,427
I say hello, Mr. Mifor-san.

52
00:06:59,511 --> 00:07:03,390
Uh, yeah. Listen. I forgot to take
the dog for a walk this morning.

53
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Would you be so kind as to
take him around the block for me?

54
00:07:06,393 --> 00:07:07,602
Uh, once should be enough.

55
00:07:07,685 --> 00:07:10,355
My pleasure,
Mr. Mifor-san. Goodbye.

56
00:07:12,440 --> 00:07:14,760
Thank you very much, Miss Honey.

57
00:07:16,152 --> 00:07:17,487
Morning, Harve.

58
00:07:17,570 --> 00:07:20,491
Boy, we sure missed you at
the party last night. It was a beauty.

59
00:07:20,574 --> 00:07:22,636
Yeah. I didn't finish with my
wife's lawyers till after midnight.

60
00:07:22,660 --> 00:07:24,995
You mean you and Leona
still can't agree on a settlement?

61
00:07:25,079 --> 00:07:28,416
Oh, yeah. She wants to split everything
down the middle, including my head.

62
00:07:28,499 --> 00:07:31,043
Well, she can't split what
she can't find, can she?

63
00:07:31,127 --> 00:07:32,878
Now, I'm not proud of that maneuver.

64
00:07:32,962 --> 00:07:34,296
I'm an honest man,

65
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and here I am hiding
my art collection with you,

66
00:07:36,590 --> 00:07:38,843
my boat's in my brother's dock in Florida,

67
00:07:38,926 --> 00:07:40,970
my securities are in a bank in Geneva.

68
00:07:41,053 --> 00:07:43,305
I've got more locations than the A&P.

69
00:07:43,389 --> 00:07:45,850
Well, you're the guy
that wanted to get married.

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I told you, take up something like
parachute jumping or alligator wrestling.

71
00:07:49,603 --> 00:07:50,729
All right, all right.

72
00:07:50,813 --> 00:07:52,833
Look, I'm due out in Los
Angeles on that movie deal.

73
00:07:52,857 --> 00:07:54,626
You know, the one where we're
gonna novelize their features.

74
00:07:55,776 --> 00:07:57,319
I'd like you to go out there for me.

75
00:07:57,403 --> 00:07:58,904
Figure on about 10 days.
Sure.

76
00:07:58,988 --> 00:08:01,073
Here's some correspondence and contracts.

77
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I'll talk to you about it in the
morning before you take off.

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00:08:04,994 --> 00:08:05,995
In the morning?

79
00:08:06,120 --> 00:08:07,121
Yeah, in the morning.

80
00:08:07,204 --> 00:08:08,914
What's the...
What's the problem?

81
00:08:08,998 --> 00:08:11,519
Well, that's... That's rushing
things a little bit, don't you think?

82
00:08:11,543 --> 00:08:13,378
Uh, I mean, uh, I gotta pack.

83
00:08:13,462 --> 00:08:15,297
I gotta get the dog to the kennel.

84
00:08:16,465 --> 00:08:18,633
Besides, I was planning
a wingding tonight.

85
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You wingdinged last night.

86
00:08:20,635 --> 00:08:22,512
Well, you see, this is the anniversary

87
00:08:22,596 --> 00:08:24,431
of the unveiling of the Statue of Liberty,

88
00:08:24,514 --> 00:08:26,349
78 years ago today.

89
00:08:26,433 --> 00:08:29,352
I, uh, can't let it pass
without observing it.

90
00:08:29,436 --> 00:08:32,355
Mmm-hmm. You never let
anything pass unobserved.

91
00:08:32,439 --> 00:08:35,942
Last week you celebrated Chinese
New Year, and Ruby Foo you are not.

92
00:08:36,026 --> 00:08:37,986
Harve, all men are my brothers,

93
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and we are all part of that great
fraternity known as mankind.

94
00:08:41,656 --> 00:08:45,035
And whatever rejoices
my neighbor rejoices me.

95
00:08:45,118 --> 00:08:46,912
Oh, please.
I just had my breakfast.

96
00:08:55,337 --> 00:08:57,005
My place, 9:00 tonight?

97
00:08:57,088 --> 00:08:58,256
What's on the stove?

98
00:08:58,340 --> 00:08:59,341
Statue of Liberty.

99
00:08:59,424 --> 00:09:00,550
Crazy.

100
00:09:00,675 --> 00:09:01,801
I knew you were patriotic.

101
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Okay. I'm comin'.

102
00:09:21,489 --> 00:09:22,823
Good morning,
Mr. Milford.

103
00:09:22,907 --> 00:09:24,075
Good morning, Scruggs.

104
00:09:24,158 --> 00:09:25,618
Hi there, Spike.

105
00:09:25,701 --> 00:09:28,204
Listen. I've got to go...

106
00:09:29,705 --> 00:09:31,415
I say, I've got to go away for 10 days.

107
00:09:31,499 --> 00:09:33,334
So make sure that
he gets no horsemeat, huh?

108
00:09:33,417 --> 00:09:35,962
We know Spike.
Strictly beef and kibble.

109
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Have a good trip, sir.
Thank you.

110
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Come on, Spike.

111
00:09:41,926 --> 00:09:43,427
Good boy.

112
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Poor maid.

113
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What a terrible thing to do
to a nice, old Japanese lady.

114
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I heard you!
I heard you!

115
00:10:18,005 --> 00:10:19,881
You know, we ought to invest in

116
00:10:19,965 --> 00:10:21,758
an alarm clock one of these days.

117
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Why blow three bucks
when he gets up when we do?

118
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"Cause I think when
a girl reaches maturity,"

119
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she should surround herself
with certain niceties,

120
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like her own alarm clock.

121
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Bring one more thing into this room,

122
00:10:34,313 --> 00:10:36,064
and we'll have to knock out a wall.

123
00:10:37,774 --> 00:10:42,362
Hark. The sound
of the thrush awakes me.

124
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Mine eyes open to
the splendor of my abode.

125
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Yuck.

126
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If the wheels on these beds ever jam,

127
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we're trapped here for life.

128
00:11:52,101 --> 00:11:56,313
I dream
of Jeanie with the light brown hair

129
00:11:56,397 --> 00:11:58,315
A case of laryngitis.

130
00:11:58,399 --> 00:11:59,459
Is that too much to ask for?

131
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Borne like a vapor

132
00:12:00,567 --> 00:12:03,821
On the summer air

133
00:12:03,904 --> 00:12:10,119
I see her tripping where
the bright streams play

134
00:12:10,202 --> 00:12:13,080
Turn it off a minute, will ya?

135
00:12:13,163 --> 00:12:15,999
Luther, I said turn it off!

136
00:12:16,083 --> 00:12:18,961
Okay, okay, okay!
I heard ya. I heard ya.

137
00:12:19,044 --> 00:12:21,463
"I heard ya. I heard ya."
Harvard man.

138
00:12:21,547 --> 00:12:23,507
Magna cum loudmouth.

139
00:12:27,136 --> 00:12:29,514
Okay, okay, okay!
Take it away!

140
00:12:37,689 --> 00:12:39,816
Ah, what a glorious morning.

141
00:12:39,899 --> 00:12:42,861
The hyacinths will be
plentiful this summer.

142
00:12:44,529 --> 00:12:46,072
Did you tell Flaccus the gardener

143
00:12:46,156 --> 00:12:48,533
to turn the soil and nourish
those dear little roots?

144
00:12:48,616 --> 00:12:50,994
I'll tell him when he
comes up for the garbage.

145
00:12:51,077 --> 00:12:53,538
And what are you having
with your coffee, dear Duchess?

146
00:12:53,621 --> 00:12:56,499
Fruitcake, like I have every morning.

147
00:12:56,583 --> 00:12:59,878
Look. Can I get you down
off the chandelier for a minute?

148
00:12:59,961 --> 00:13:01,421
Okay. What is it?

149
00:13:01,504 --> 00:13:04,257
How's about moving out of this trap?

150
00:13:05,341 --> 00:13:06,342
Where?

151
00:13:06,426 --> 00:13:07,826
We'll take a day off and we'll look.

152
00:13:07,886 --> 00:13:10,930
I can't. I've got
an extra apartment to clean.

153
00:13:11,014 --> 00:13:13,975
I got two extra apartments to
clean, but this is more important.

154
00:13:14,058 --> 00:13:18,396
Really, doesn't this
trap ever get you down?

155
00:13:18,480 --> 00:13:20,106
No, I don't really ever think about it.

156
00:13:20,190 --> 00:13:22,693
Nor do I think about
having to work as a maid.

157
00:13:22,777 --> 00:13:24,904
We're trying to stake our way
into show business.

158
00:13:24,987 --> 00:13:27,531
So the only important thing
right now is to save a buck.

159
00:13:27,615 --> 00:13:29,408
But doesn't it bother you what guys

160
00:13:29,492 --> 00:13:31,076
must think when they take you home?

161
00:13:31,160 --> 00:13:35,122
I never met one that
I was that interested in.

162
00:13:35,206 --> 00:13:36,540
Talk to a wall.

163
00:13:40,336 --> 00:13:41,337
Yeah.

164
00:13:41,420 --> 00:13:43,214
It's me, Luther.

165
00:13:49,136 --> 00:13:51,514
I smelled the coffee through the walls.

166
00:13:51,597 --> 00:13:53,224
What walls?

167
00:13:53,307 --> 00:13:55,810
Sorry about the alarm clock.
I never hear it.

168
00:13:55,893 --> 00:13:58,270
All I hear are your shoes banging.

169
00:13:58,354 --> 00:14:00,397
Mind if I have a cup of coffee?

170
00:14:00,481 --> 00:14:02,024
Help yourself.

171
00:14:02,107 --> 00:14:03,567
Oh, before I forget,

172
00:14:03,651 --> 00:14:06,362
cannot make the rehearsal tonight.

173
00:14:06,445 --> 00:14:08,322
Gotta talk to a guy about a job.

174
00:14:08,405 --> 00:14:10,407
Oh, congratulations.

175
00:14:10,491 --> 00:14:12,827
It's an offer for the
summer. A barn.

176
00:14:12,911 --> 00:14:14,579
Plainfield, New Jersey.

177
00:14:14,663 --> 00:14:16,543
Oh, that's great. Grab it.
It's good experience.

178
00:14:16,581 --> 00:14:18,291
All the big stars are doing it.

179
00:14:18,375 --> 00:14:22,504
No, no. This guy is a farmer.
He wants me to work in his barn.

180
00:14:22,587 --> 00:14:25,048
Ah, Prince Nicholas.

181
00:14:25,131 --> 00:14:27,717
I am glad that you're
back from the Crimea.

182
00:14:32,055 --> 00:14:33,682
Where the heck is the Crimea?

183
00:14:34,975 --> 00:14:37,978
You pass it on the way
to Plainfield, New Jersey.

184
00:15:08,551 --> 00:15:12,221
Oh, I'm terribly sorry. Gee,
please forgive me. Are you all right?

185
00:15:12,305 --> 00:15:14,682
Well, you ought to watch
where you put that thing, lady.

186
00:15:14,765 --> 00:15:17,768
I know. It's absolutely stupid
of me, but, gee, I am sorry.

187
00:15:17,852 --> 00:15:19,979
A guy could break
every single bone in his...

188
00:15:20,563 --> 00:15:22,523
Oh. Well, hello.
Hello.

189
00:15:22,607 --> 00:15:24,442
You're the same girl
that was here yesterday.

190
00:15:24,525 --> 00:15:26,193
Are you sure you're not hurt?

191
00:15:26,277 --> 00:15:28,404
Who, me?
No, not a scratch.

192
00:15:28,487 --> 00:15:29,906
Not a scratch.

193
00:15:29,989 --> 00:15:32,283
Funny. Uh, two days
in a row.

194
00:15:32,366 --> 00:15:34,201
Maybe we could get the Red Cross

195
00:15:34,285 --> 00:15:36,287
to declare this corner a disaster area.

196
00:15:37,622 --> 00:15:40,166
Uh, as long as we've bumped...

197
00:15:44,378 --> 00:15:48,674
Uh, that girl...
She, uh, just took off.

198
00:15:48,758 --> 00:15:52,386
What did you expect?
Mouth-to-mouth resuscitation?

199
00:15:52,470 --> 00:15:54,013
Yeah.

200
00:16:26,004 --> 00:16:28,715
Good riddance to honorable drunk

201
00:16:28,799 --> 00:16:30,425
and lady chaser.

202
00:16:30,509 --> 00:16:36,598
May the great bird of passage
deliver honorable master to California

203
00:16:36,682 --> 00:16:39,017
with happy wind in tail.

204
00:16:45,482 --> 00:16:48,236
I was looking forward
to that trip to California.

205
00:16:48,319 --> 00:16:50,321
Are you sure Dunhill beat us out?

206
00:16:50,405 --> 00:16:52,448
Well, Dunhill
called me himself. Hmm.

207
00:16:52,532 --> 00:16:54,409
Had a good three-minute gloat.

208
00:16:54,492 --> 00:16:56,452
If I hadn't been so involved
with Leona's divorce,

209
00:16:56,494 --> 00:16:59,414
I would have been out in LA a week
ago and had the deal in my pocket.

210
00:17:00,289 --> 00:17:02,709
You know, Harve, I hate
to see you so hacked up.

211
00:17:02,792 --> 00:17:04,627
I wish there was something I could do.

212
00:17:04,711 --> 00:17:07,088
Marry Leona.
Get me off the alimony hook.

213
00:17:07,171 --> 00:17:09,257
That good a friend I'm not.

214
00:17:09,340 --> 00:17:11,884
I'll give you three of my Pirraux
paintings in your apartment.

215
00:17:14,095 --> 00:17:15,179
How much are they worth?

216
00:17:15,263 --> 00:17:16,973
$25,000 apiece.

217
00:17:18,266 --> 00:17:20,143
I have to take Leona?
Yeah.

218
00:17:21,352 --> 00:17:22,812
Forget it.

219
00:17:25,273 --> 00:17:26,774
Fair-weather friend.

220
00:17:28,776 --> 00:17:30,945
Oh, well. Another
audition down the drain.

221
00:17:31,029 --> 00:17:32,989
Hey, anybody want to share
a cab to the village?

222
00:17:33,072 --> 00:17:34,299
No, thanks.
I'm being picked up.

223
00:17:34,323 --> 00:17:35,426
I gotta wait for my boyfriend.

224
00:17:35,450 --> 00:17:36,909
Vickie and I are stopping for coffee.

225
00:17:36,993 --> 00:17:38,369
Okay.

226
00:17:39,203 --> 00:17:40,873
You know, um,

227
00:17:40,956 --> 00:17:43,292
I thought you had
the best dialect tonight.

228
00:17:43,375 --> 00:17:44,918
Sorry you didn't get the part.

229
00:17:45,002 --> 00:17:47,397
Oh, thank you, and I'm sorry
you didn't get the part, Hatacki.

230
00:17:47,421 --> 00:17:49,590
I mean, after all, you are Japanese.

231
00:17:50,215 --> 00:17:51,717
Taxi!

232
00:17:51,800 --> 00:17:54,261
Um, if you have the best talent

233
00:17:54,344 --> 00:17:56,889
and I have the best face, well,

234
00:17:56,972 --> 00:17:59,099
what has she got?

235
00:17:59,183 --> 00:18:00,267
As soon as you walked on...

236
00:18:00,350 --> 00:18:01,351
You were sensational!

237
00:18:01,435 --> 00:18:03,437
Wasn't she just great?

238
00:18:03,520 --> 00:18:05,272
The part!

239
00:18:11,278 --> 00:18:13,197
Washington Square.

240
00:18:23,040 --> 00:18:24,500
If you want to commit suicide,

241
00:18:24,583 --> 00:18:25,643
why don't you jump off a bridge?

242
00:18:25,667 --> 00:18:27,503
What's the matter with you, Mac?

243
00:18:27,586 --> 00:18:29,213
See this nut hit me?

244
00:18:29,296 --> 00:18:31,131
Don't be a wise guy.

245
00:18:43,436 --> 00:18:44,789
You know, I get the funniest feeling

246
00:18:44,813 --> 00:18:46,373
that somebody's trying
to tell us something.

247
00:18:46,397 --> 00:18:49,192
Well, I hope we find out what
it is before we kill each other.

248
00:18:49,275 --> 00:18:50,276
Hey, I got a thought.

249
00:18:50,360 --> 00:18:51,420
Why don't we duck into that bar

250
00:18:51,444 --> 00:18:53,196
and see if we can't decipher the message?

251
00:18:53,279 --> 00:18:54,656
All right.

252
00:18:54,739 --> 00:18:56,699
Don't you know signals?
I had my arm up.

253
00:18:56,783 --> 00:18:58,844
Here, fellas. This ought to
straighten out the whole beef.

254
00:18:58,868 --> 00:19:00,245
If a cop don't show up.

255
00:19:13,258 --> 00:19:14,759
Here.

256
00:19:17,387 --> 00:19:18,763
What'll it be?

257
00:19:18,847 --> 00:19:22,851
Uh, ooh, something light. Uh,
quinine water with just a drop of gin.

258
00:19:22,934 --> 00:19:25,271
Vodka martini for me, please.

259
00:19:25,354 --> 00:19:28,107
You know, we're gonna have to
come up with some sort of a system,

260
00:19:28,190 --> 00:19:30,234
because now it's a matter of survival.

261
00:19:30,317 --> 00:19:33,654
Well, why don't we check
itineraries each morning

262
00:19:33,737 --> 00:19:35,197
so that we can avoid each other?

263
00:19:35,281 --> 00:19:38,701
Well, I... I want to continue to
meet you, but not head-on, you see.

264
00:19:38,784 --> 00:19:40,786
Well, I'll tell you.
Let's divide the town in half.

265
00:19:40,870 --> 00:19:42,872
You take the north,
and I'll take the south,

266
00:19:42,955 --> 00:19:44,832
and we can talk across the border.

267
00:19:44,915 --> 00:19:46,667
Well, before we get to strategy,

268
00:19:46,750 --> 00:19:48,878
I think a few vital
statistics are in order.

269
00:19:48,961 --> 00:19:52,631
Now, you said your name was
Joan, and I assume you're a model.

270
00:19:52,715 --> 00:19:54,633
What makes you assume that?

271
00:19:54,717 --> 00:19:57,261
Well, that hatbox is a dead giveaway.

272
00:19:57,720 --> 00:19:59,805
Wrong.
Actress?

273
00:19:59,889 --> 00:20:03,642
Well, I'm studying to be, but
that's not what I do for a living.

274
00:20:03,726 --> 00:20:05,561
Well, what do you do for a living?

275
00:20:05,644 --> 00:20:09,356
Uh, that's my secret.

276
00:20:09,440 --> 00:20:10,441
Bet I can guess it.

277
00:20:10,524 --> 00:20:14,028
Well, there's really no trick
to it if you try long enough.

278
00:20:14,111 --> 00:20:15,488
Ten questions.

279
00:20:15,572 --> 00:20:19,075
Okay, but, you know, even if
you do guess it, I might not tell you.

280
00:20:20,285 --> 00:20:22,412
Bartender, let me have
some swizzle sticks, please.

281
00:20:25,290 --> 00:20:28,960
Mmm. No, I'd like 10 of them.
We're gonna play a game.

282
00:20:34,132 --> 00:20:35,342
Thank you.

283
00:20:35,425 --> 00:20:39,304
Uh, could I avail
myself of your services”??

284
00:20:39,387 --> 00:20:41,181
Mmm, yes.

285
00:20:41,264 --> 00:20:44,809
Uh-huh. Is there any special
training required for what you do?

286
00:20:44,893 --> 00:20:47,312
Oh, very little.

287
00:20:47,395 --> 00:20:51,024
Well, uh, could what you
do be done in a... In an office?

288
00:20:52,734 --> 00:20:54,194
An apartment?
Mostly.

289
00:20:56,529 --> 00:20:57,656
No. No.

290
00:20:57,739 --> 00:20:59,574
Are your clients exclusively male?

291
00:20:59,658 --> 00:21:01,368
Yes.
I see.

292
00:21:01,451 --> 00:21:03,620
Uh, is a telephone essential in your work?

293
00:21:03,703 --> 00:21:06,790
Very essential.

294
00:21:08,793 --> 00:21:12,088
Would what you do bring extra
comfort and happiness to me?

295
00:21:12,922 --> 00:21:14,840
Well, I'd like to think it would.

296
00:21:16,217 --> 00:21:17,510
Are you in business for yourself?

297
00:21:17,593 --> 00:21:20,012
Oh, no. No, no.
I'm with an organized group.

298
00:21:20,096 --> 00:21:22,765
Uh, you know, you only
have two questions left.

299
00:21:22,848 --> 00:21:24,809
Well, is there any risk
involved in what you do?

300
00:21:24,892 --> 00:21:27,061
Oh, my goodness, yes.
Well, do you know that

301
00:21:27,144 --> 00:21:29,021
last week a girl fell off the fireplace?

302
00:21:34,777 --> 00:21:37,321
And you won't believe what
happened to me not long ago.

303
00:21:37,405 --> 00:21:40,157
The sofa caught fire. Well, do
you know that I just got a broom,

304
00:21:40,241 --> 00:21:44,120
beat it out, and I went on as
though nothing had happened.

305
00:21:47,039 --> 00:21:49,166
Well, one last
question. Um... Okay.

306
00:21:49,250 --> 00:21:51,002
Do your clients have to be present

307
00:21:51,085 --> 00:21:52,885
in order to avail
themselves of your services?

308
00:21:52,962 --> 00:21:54,547
No.

309
00:21:54,630 --> 00:21:56,007
Well, that's a relief.

310
00:21:56,090 --> 00:21:57,383
Well, what do you mean by that?

311
00:21:57,466 --> 00:21:59,219
Nothing.
Nothing at all. Forget it.

312
00:21:59,303 --> 00:22:02,347
I'm sure whatever you do
you do very, very well.

313
00:22:02,431 --> 00:22:04,617
Ooh, my goodness. It's
getting late. I've gotta be going.

314
00:22:04,641 --> 00:22:06,160
Well, I'll have you home
in no time. Check, please.

315
00:22:06,184 --> 00:22:07,686
Please don't bother.

316
00:22:07,769 --> 00:22:09,479
You know, it's really quite a ways.

317
00:22:09,563 --> 00:22:10,856
Oh, it's no bother at all.

318
00:22:10,939 --> 00:22:13,650
By the way, I wish you a lot
of luck on your acting career.

319
00:22:13,734 --> 00:22:14,961
You know, it's a very difficult business.

320
00:22:14,985 --> 00:22:16,361
Don't I know.

321
00:22:16,445 --> 00:22:19,990
The last job I had was in a patriotic
pageant. It was six months ago.

322
00:22:20,073 --> 00:22:22,117
Well, I performed before 14,000 men

323
00:22:22,200 --> 00:22:23,994
at a convention in Atlantic City.

324
00:22:24,619 --> 00:22:26,621
I even got nine curtain calls.

325
00:22:33,628 --> 00:22:37,341
Hey, Charlie. You ever been to one
of them conventions in Atlantic City?

326
00:22:37,424 --> 00:22:40,469
Nope. You know, I think
we're missing something.

327
00:22:42,471 --> 00:22:44,723
Well, it's quite late, and, really,

328
00:22:44,806 --> 00:22:47,225
I feel guilty about
taking you out of your way.

329
00:22:47,309 --> 00:22:49,227
Well, how do you know what my way is?

330
00:22:49,311 --> 00:22:50,831
We might live right
next door to each other.

331
00:22:50,855 --> 00:22:53,733
After all, I have seen you
up around 62nd Street.

332
00:22:54,525 --> 00:22:55,902
Say, taxi!

333
00:23:09,874 --> 00:23:11,167
Where to, folks?

334
00:23:11,250 --> 00:23:12,460
62nd Street.

335
00:23:12,543 --> 00:23:14,045
What did I tell ya?

336
00:23:23,596 --> 00:23:26,057
So this cop kind of
looks at me nasty-like,

337
00:23:26,140 --> 00:23:28,184
and he says, "It's a good thing I wasn't"

338
00:23:28,267 --> 00:23:31,145
"pending down fixing
a run in my stocking."

339
00:23:31,229 --> 00:23:32,271
Broke me up, I tell ya.

340
00:23:32,355 --> 00:23:33,439
Which house, lady?

341
00:23:33,523 --> 00:23:35,817
Oh. Uh, the one right over
there by the fire hydrant.

342
00:23:36,234 --> 00:23:37,568
Okay.

343
00:23:48,914 --> 00:23:50,457
You live here?
Yes.

344
00:23:50,541 --> 00:23:53,210
And I want to thank you
for a very lovely evening.

345
00:23:53,293 --> 00:23:54,294
Good night.

346
00:23:54,378 --> 00:23:55,504
Don't go away.

347
00:23:58,507 --> 00:24:01,552
Uh... You don't
have to take me to the door. Really.

348
00:24:01,635 --> 00:24:02,803
But I want to.

349
00:24:07,057 --> 00:24:09,685
Well, good night again.

350
00:24:12,771 --> 00:24:15,023
Tom, please don't bother.

351
00:24:15,107 --> 00:24:17,317
I insist on walking you to your door.

352
00:24:17,401 --> 00:24:20,112
But... But it's silly for you
to climb all those stairs.

353
00:24:20,195 --> 00:24:23,031
But I want to.
Believe me, I want to.

354
00:24:39,799 --> 00:24:42,844
Well, good night again.

355
00:24:46,598 --> 00:24:49,142
Uh, may I ask how long you've lived here?

356
00:24:49,225 --> 00:24:51,686
Oh, just a very short while.

357
00:24:52,770 --> 00:24:54,522
Good night.

358
00:25:01,905 --> 00:25:03,490
Uh, yes, Tom?

359
00:25:03,573 --> 00:25:06,409
We never did get to, uh, last names.

360
00:25:09,037 --> 00:25:11,414
No, uh, so we didn't, did we?

361
00:25:11,498 --> 00:25:14,501
Uh, Milford.

362
00:25:14,584 --> 00:25:16,377
Joan Milford.

363
00:25:18,338 --> 00:25:19,380
I'm baffled.

364
00:25:19,464 --> 00:25:20,673
What did you say?

365
00:25:20,757 --> 00:25:23,051
Uh, Baffle. Tom Baffle.

366
00:25:23,134 --> 00:25:25,303
Like confused?

367
00:25:25,386 --> 00:25:27,139
Very.

368
00:25:29,642 --> 00:25:31,393
Good night.

369
00:26:02,967 --> 00:26:05,511
It's you. Um...

370
00:26:05,594 --> 00:26:09,014
Oh, I hate to leave dirty
milk bottles in the hallway.

371
00:26:11,141 --> 00:26:14,562
By the way, I was wondering,
could I take you out tomorrow night?

372
00:26:14,645 --> 00:26:17,398
Oh, I'd... I'd love
to meet you some place.

373
00:26:17,481 --> 00:26:21,152
Well, I think this place is most
convenient for me. How about 8:00?

374
00:26:21,236 --> 00:26:22,612
Well, I don't expect to be...

375
00:26:22,696 --> 00:26:23,989
Tomorrow night at 8:00.

376
00:26:24,072 --> 00:26:25,282
Good night.

377
00:26:25,365 --> 00:26:26,700
Again.

378
00:26:28,159 --> 00:26:29,995
Again.

379
00:26:50,807 --> 00:26:52,475
Where next?

380
00:26:52,559 --> 00:26:54,394
I don't know.

381
00:26:54,477 --> 00:26:56,021
Don't you want to go home?

382
00:26:56,104 --> 00:26:57,647
I am home.

383
00:27:01,359 --> 00:27:03,570
What do you want me to do?
Drive you up the steps?

384
00:27:07,532 --> 00:27:09,200
58th Street Towers.

385
00:27:17,543 --> 00:27:18,836
But where did she get a key?

386
00:27:18,919 --> 00:27:21,297
I don't know.
I don't know.

387
00:27:21,380 --> 00:27:23,549
Call the police, Tom.
She's after the paintings.

388
00:27:23,633 --> 00:27:26,218
I'll be personally
responsible for the paintings.

389
00:27:26,302 --> 00:27:28,222
Somebody just stole your
apartment and your name,

390
00:27:28,304 --> 00:27:31,223
and you're gonna be responsible
for my... Call the police.

391
00:27:31,307 --> 00:27:34,977
I will not call the police because I'm
not convinced that this girl is a thief.

392
00:27:35,061 --> 00:27:37,688
Now, I've gotta find out for
myself just what's going on.

393
00:27:39,357 --> 00:27:42,109
And while you're trying to find
out, where do you expect to live?

394
00:27:42,193 --> 00:27:45,655
Harvey. Harvey,
what are friends for?

395
00:27:45,738 --> 00:27:48,074
I mean, when you needed
a home for your paintings,

396
00:27:48,157 --> 00:27:50,076
why, who did you come to?

397
00:28:05,384 --> 00:28:07,320
I hope you don't mind
if I don't make it up for you.

398
00:28:07,344 --> 00:28:08,345
That's all right.

399
00:28:08,428 --> 00:28:10,472
Say, uh, do you have
an extra key? Hmm?

400
00:28:10,555 --> 00:28:11,890
An extra key.

401
00:28:11,973 --> 00:28:13,767
Over my dead body.

402
00:28:13,850 --> 00:28:17,312
Harvey, are we bosom pals?
I mean, bosom pals.

403
00:28:17,396 --> 00:28:18,855
Yeah, bosom, yes.
Key, no.

404
00:28:20,315 --> 00:28:22,335
Do you realize what would
happen if I did call the police?

405
00:28:22,359 --> 00:28:24,754
Why, the paintings would become
a matter of public information

406
00:28:24,778 --> 00:28:26,279
and community property.

407
00:28:27,489 --> 00:28:30,575
Now, either you give me the key, or, uh,

408
00:28:30,659 --> 00:28:32,619
I'll have to call the police.

409
00:28:42,462 --> 00:28:44,256
You bring one little
bunny up to this place,

410
00:28:44,339 --> 00:28:46,025
I'll have you both
arrested for trespassing.

411
00:28:46,049 --> 00:28:47,843
Me?
Yeah.

412
00:28:49,177 --> 00:28:50,178
Who are you calling?

413
00:28:50,262 --> 00:28:53,975
I'm gonna call my place, because I
cannot believe what has happened.

414
00:28:54,100 --> 00:28:55,619
Hey, do you think I had
some sort of a lapse?

415
00:28:58,813 --> 00:28:59,856
The line's busy.

416
00:28:59,939 --> 00:29:02,251
Why, of course it's busy.
She's probably calling the truck.

417
00:29:02,275 --> 00:29:04,318
Come and get it!

418
00:29:06,154 --> 00:29:12,243
Goldilocks. I feel just like Goldilocks
sleeping in Papa Bear's bed.

419
00:29:12,326 --> 00:29:13,786
What?

420
00:29:13,953 --> 00:29:16,330
Oh, relax.
Milford's in California.

421
00:29:16,414 --> 00:29:19,083
And, well, I just couldn't
let Baffle see where we live.

422
00:29:19,167 --> 00:29:22,086
Look. I got no time to horse
around. The sink is stopped up,

423
00:29:22,170 --> 00:29:24,964
the fuse blew in the bathroom,
and we got ants in the refrigerator.

424
00:29:25,047 --> 00:29:27,800
Now you get out of that bed
and you come right home.

425
00:29:27,884 --> 00:29:29,719
But I'm stuck here.
And besides,

426
00:29:29,802 --> 00:29:31,429
we have another date tomorrow night.

427
00:29:31,512 --> 00:29:33,639
Oh, be a good kid, Audrey,
and bring my white dress

428
00:29:33,723 --> 00:29:36,017
and my cold cream and toothbrush, huh?

429
00:29:36,100 --> 00:29:40,146
You get home this very minute,
or I'll come over and get you.

430
00:29:42,231 --> 00:29:45,360
You can't just move into somebody's
apartment without permission.

431
00:29:45,444 --> 00:29:47,529
It's forcible entry.
It's trespassing.

432
00:29:47,613 --> 00:29:49,948
It's a criminal offense,
punishable by law.

433
00:29:57,414 --> 00:29:59,291
He's in California, huh?

434
00:30:13,472 --> 00:30:15,098
Where am I?

435
00:30:18,352 --> 00:30:21,480
Oh. All right. Come on.
Goldilocks, get up. It's morning.

436
00:30:21,563 --> 00:30:22,689
Come on. Up, up, up. Up.

437
00:30:22,773 --> 00:30:25,317
I heard ya.
I heard ya. I heard ya.

438
00:30:28,737 --> 00:30:30,322
Hey, this is the life.

439
00:30:32,157 --> 00:30:34,284
Why don't you go in and tub first

440
00:30:34,368 --> 00:30:37,163
while I just wallow in this ecstasy, huh?

441
00:30:38,164 --> 00:30:39,833
Hey, Joan, let's not get carried away.

442
00:30:39,916 --> 00:30:42,544
You know, we are trespassing.
We could get arrested.

443
00:30:44,045 --> 00:30:45,797
You worry too much.
I do, huh?

444
00:30:46,965 --> 00:30:48,859
Suppose Milford made
a sudden return to New York.

445
00:30:48,883 --> 00:30:51,511
Suppose he walked
into this room right now.

446
00:30:51,594 --> 00:30:53,471
Would you want to be found here like this?

447
00:30:53,555 --> 00:30:57,225
I should say not. I'm gonna go
bathe and then put some makeup on.

448
00:31:03,022 --> 00:31:05,525
Leave me some of that hot water, will ya?

449
00:31:06,693 --> 00:31:08,528
I heard ya. I heard ya.

450
00:31:10,488 --> 00:31:12,323
Did you ever meet this Milford guy?

451
00:31:12,407 --> 00:31:15,201
Uh-uh. I only
sweep up the remains.

452
00:31:15,952 --> 00:31:18,288
Any idea what his racket is?

453
00:31:18,371 --> 00:31:20,665
Well, I'd say he books talent for orgies.

454
00:31:20,748 --> 00:31:23,001
I got news for ya.

455
00:31:23,084 --> 00:31:24,419
He's a jockey.

456
00:31:24,502 --> 00:31:26,004
A what?

457
00:31:26,087 --> 00:31:27,547
A jockey.

458
00:31:29,300 --> 00:31:31,218
I found this in the night table.

459
00:31:31,302 --> 00:31:33,554
"Ginny Frazell.
Chestnut hair. Spirited."

460
00:31:33,637 --> 00:31:36,307
"Good legs. Slow starter,
but great in stretch."

461
00:31:36,390 --> 00:31:38,559
"Murray Hill, 37599."

462
00:31:38,642 --> 00:31:40,644
If he ain't a jockey,
he sure loves horses.

463
00:31:40,728 --> 00:31:44,106
He'll love anything.
I clean up this stable. I know.

464
00:31:44,189 --> 00:31:46,275
Here. Read this one.

465
00:31:46,358 --> 00:31:48,611
"Agnes Whitby.
Good disposition."

466
00:31:48,694 --> 00:31:50,905
"Affectionate.
Slightly nervous."

467
00:31:50,988 --> 00:31:53,115
"Needs two or three outings."

468
00:31:53,198 --> 00:31:56,702
I guess if he likes you, he shoves
a piece of sugar in your mouth.

469
00:31:57,828 --> 00:32:01,040
Oh. Oh, "Flo Whitby.
Mother of Agnes."

470
00:32:01,123 --> 00:32:06,086
"Superb track record. Breaks
fast, always there at the finish."

471
00:32:06,170 --> 00:32:09,757
So what's a swinging jockey like
him doing with a bottle of bubble bath?

472
00:32:09,840 --> 00:32:11,926
Maybe his mother
visits him once in a while.

473
00:32:12,009 --> 00:32:13,260
Or Agnes' mother.

474
00:32:13,344 --> 00:32:16,013
Do you think it'd be all right
if we stayed again tonight?

475
00:32:17,056 --> 00:32:20,059
I've got enough apartments
to clean without adding a new one.

476
00:32:20,727 --> 00:32:22,771
Just one more night.

477
00:32:22,854 --> 00:32:25,398
I mean, how can you give up
that wonderful bathtub?

478
00:32:25,482 --> 00:32:27,400
Suppose he asks you
for a date tomorrow night?

479
00:32:27,484 --> 00:32:29,778
And the next night, and the next?

480
00:32:30,487 --> 00:32:33,406
Yeah, that's true.

481
00:32:33,490 --> 00:32:35,951
I can't wear the same
dress each time, can 1?

482
00:32:36,034 --> 00:32:38,078
Now wait a second.

483
00:32:42,415 --> 00:32:44,215
Your stuff's on the left.
Mine's on the right.

484
00:32:44,292 --> 00:32:45,835
It's a pretty tight squeeze.

485
00:32:45,919 --> 00:32:47,337
What about the other closet?

486
00:32:47,420 --> 00:32:49,005
Oh, it's loaded.

487
00:32:49,089 --> 00:32:51,591
He's got fishing rods, diving
equipment, a bowling ball.

488
00:32:51,675 --> 00:32:54,010
There's even a saddle in there.

489
00:32:54,094 --> 00:32:56,388
Hey, maybe he really is a jockey.

490
00:32:56,471 --> 00:32:58,390
Call Agnes.
See if she whinnies.

491
00:32:58,473 --> 00:33:00,600
Ew. It's 8:00.
I'd better get a move on.

492
00:33:00,684 --> 00:33:02,352
Now you remember what I said.

493
00:33:02,435 --> 00:33:04,354
Don't let Baffle into this apartment.

494
00:33:04,437 --> 00:33:06,439
It's about as feminine
as a wrestler's locker room.

495
00:33:06,523 --> 00:33:08,358
A guy takes a girl out for a big evening.

496
00:33:08,441 --> 00:33:10,235
Now how can I tell him
to wait in the hall?

497
00:33:10,318 --> 00:33:12,279
I'll tell you how.

498
00:33:12,363 --> 00:33:15,616
You say, "Wait in the hall."
That's how.

499
00:33:15,700 --> 00:33:18,077
Oh, now you're a big help.

500
00:33:18,160 --> 00:33:21,455
Well, next time some Joe takes
you out, you have to do like I do.

501
00:33:21,539 --> 00:33:23,374
I tell them I live in Connecticut.

502
00:33:23,457 --> 00:33:27,294
Then they take me to Grand Central
Station, and I duck into the subway.

503
00:33:27,378 --> 00:33:30,631
So what happens when they
insist on putting you on the train?

504
00:33:30,715 --> 00:33:33,134
So once in a while
I spend a night in New Haven.

505
00:33:34,593 --> 00:33:35,970
Now you remember what I said.

506
00:33:37,179 --> 00:33:38,180
Don't let him in.

507
00:33:38,264 --> 00:33:39,890
What if he insists when we come back?

508
00:33:39,974 --> 00:33:41,284
So I'll move the sofa
out into the hallway.

509
00:33:41,308 --> 00:33:42,393
Ooh, thanks a lot.

510
00:33:42,476 --> 00:33:44,353
Coming!

511
00:33:44,437 --> 00:33:46,063
Now remember what I said.

512
00:33:46,147 --> 00:33:49,191
Hi, Tom.

513
00:33:49,275 --> 00:33:51,485
Uh, I'm kind of early.
You mind if I come in?

514
00:33:51,569 --> 00:33:55,197
The place is such a mess.
You see, I'm having maid trouble.

515
00:33:59,660 --> 00:34:03,122
Yeah. We can't get 'em
out of the bathtub.

516
00:34:07,794 --> 00:34:09,171
Quinine water and a drop of gin.

517
00:34:09,254 --> 00:34:10,255
Vodka martini.

518
00:34:13,425 --> 00:34:15,177
Charlie.

519
00:34:15,260 --> 00:34:16,261
Charlie.

520
00:34:16,344 --> 00:34:19,723
There's that little swinger
I was telling you about.

521
00:34:21,767 --> 00:34:23,810
The cute little kid?

522
00:34:23,894 --> 00:34:26,229
You've been in that domestic vodka again.

523
00:34:26,313 --> 00:34:29,107
Now take these over and lay an ear on 'em.

524
00:34:29,191 --> 00:34:33,111
You'll hear talk that'll singe
the fuzz right out of your navel.

525
00:34:34,071 --> 00:34:35,947
You know, Joan, I admire you.

526
00:34:36,031 --> 00:34:37,115
I mean, you are a rarity.

527
00:34:38,492 --> 00:34:40,494
Well... Thank you.

528
00:34:40,577 --> 00:34:44,164
With everybody crying about
the immorality of the times, uh,

529
00:34:44,247 --> 00:34:46,124
here you are, a little puritan,

530
00:34:46,208 --> 00:34:48,877
in the middle of this great,
big, evil city.

531
00:34:48,960 --> 00:34:50,587
Won't allow a man into her apartment.

532
00:34:50,670 --> 00:34:52,390
Well, I told you,

533
00:34:52,422 --> 00:34:54,382
my housekeeper didn't show up.

534
00:34:54,466 --> 00:34:57,345
Now you know that's not so. You're
just being respectable and proper.

535
00:34:57,428 --> 00:34:58,763
And I commend you for it.

536
00:34:58,846 --> 00:35:01,224
Well, a girl should be careful.

537
00:35:01,307 --> 00:35:03,035
I mean, just recently a
fellow took me out to dinner,

538
00:35:03,059 --> 00:35:04,227
and then to a show,

539
00:35:04,310 --> 00:35:05,788
and then really got terribly upset with me

540
00:35:05,812 --> 00:35:07,730
because I wouldn't let him
kiss me good night.

541
00:35:07,814 --> 00:35:09,273
Well, you stay old-fashioned.

542
00:35:09,357 --> 00:35:11,609
And as far as my interest in
your apartment is concerned,

543
00:35:11,692 --> 00:35:13,653
why, it's, uh, purely professional.

544
00:35:14,946 --> 00:35:16,489
Professional?

545
00:35:16,572 --> 00:35:17,907
You see, I'm interested

546
00:35:17,990 --> 00:35:19,259
in the things that people live with.

547
00:35:19,283 --> 00:35:22,954
Furnishings, accessories, uh, paintings.

548
00:35:23,037 --> 00:35:25,164
Paintings? Well, I certainly
don't have any of those.

549
00:35:25,248 --> 00:35:27,250
You don't?
No.

550
00:35:27,333 --> 00:35:28,613
Not unless you can call something

551
00:35:28,668 --> 00:35:30,086
that looks like a two-headed man

552
00:35:30,169 --> 00:35:33,297
with a three-legged chicken
standing on one of them paintings.

553
00:35:33,381 --> 00:35:35,591
Oh. Well, that
sounds very impressionistic,

554
00:35:35,675 --> 00:35:37,510
uh, somebody like Jacques Pirraux.

555
00:35:37,593 --> 00:35:39,071
Now they could be very
valuable, so if I were you,

556
00:35:39,095 --> 00:35:40,721
I would take very good care of them.

557
00:35:40,805 --> 00:35:44,350
Well, is that your business?
Paintings?

558
00:35:44,433 --> 00:35:47,311
Not exactly. I...
I'm an interior decorator.

559
00:35:50,315 --> 00:35:52,985
You? An interior decorator?

560
00:35:53,068 --> 00:35:54,611
Well, why not?
I mean, is it so strange

561
00:35:54,695 --> 00:35:57,614
that I enjoy chintzes and frilly
gingerbready knickknacks?

562
00:35:57,698 --> 00:35:58,782
Well, no.

563
00:35:58,866 --> 00:36:00,159
No.

564
00:36:00,242 --> 00:36:02,911
It's just that I never
thought of you in that way.

565
00:36:04,288 --> 00:36:06,373
Anyone ever tell you
you don't hear so good?

566
00:36:06,456 --> 00:36:09,918
She's a Girl Scout, and
he's an interior decorator.

567
00:36:10,002 --> 00:36:12,254
That's an interior decorator?

568
00:36:12,337 --> 00:36:15,424
Not only don't you hear
good, you don't see good.

569
00:36:17,509 --> 00:36:20,345
I think it's so exciting what you do.

570
00:36:20,429 --> 00:36:23,891
Well, you know, the sight of an
old Flemish tapestry in muted tones,

571
00:36:23,974 --> 00:36:26,560
or a Louis XV credenza...

572
00:36:26,643 --> 00:36:29,021
Why, they do things to me
that nothing else can do.

573
00:36:29,104 --> 00:36:30,814
Oh, I love pretty things.

574
00:36:30,898 --> 00:36:33,126
But, you know, now that I know
you're an interior decorator,

575
00:36:33,150 --> 00:36:35,319
I certainly can't
take you to see my place.

576
00:36:35,402 --> 00:36:38,155
But I'd love to visit your apartment.

577
00:36:38,238 --> 00:36:39,782
My apartment?

578
00:36:39,866 --> 00:36:41,075
Well, why mine?

579
00:36:42,327 --> 00:36:44,579
Well, the answer should be
quite obvious, shouldn't it?

580
00:36:44,662 --> 00:36:48,082
The fact of the matter is, uh,
my place is quite disorganized.

581
00:36:48,166 --> 00:36:50,919
Uh, I've been having maid trouble, too.

582
00:36:51,002 --> 00:36:52,212
Well, I tell you what.

583
00:36:52,295 --> 00:36:54,148
You take me to your apartment,
and I'll show you

584
00:36:54,172 --> 00:36:55,882
what I can do with a vacuum cleaner.

585
00:36:58,927 --> 00:37:00,303
Thank you.

586
00:37:02,388 --> 00:37:04,265
Good night.
Oh, night.

587
00:37:07,769 --> 00:37:09,604
You know something, Charlie?

588
00:37:09,687 --> 00:37:11,314
You're stupid.

589
00:37:14,901 --> 00:37:17,153
Oh! It's very lovely.

590
00:37:17,237 --> 00:37:20,073
Just not what I expected
in a decorator's apartment.

591
00:37:20,156 --> 00:37:22,158
Uh, well, tell me more
about your apartment.

592
00:37:22,242 --> 00:37:24,202
It's really quite ugly.

593
00:37:24,285 --> 00:37:26,287
What do you find so ugly about it?

594
00:37:26,371 --> 00:37:29,040
Well, those ridiculous
paintings, of course.

595
00:37:29,123 --> 00:37:31,293
I'd like to toss them out.

596
00:37:32,503 --> 00:37:33,754
You didn't.

597
00:37:33,837 --> 00:37:35,673
No, but I'm thinking about it.

598
00:37:37,216 --> 00:37:39,635
Uh, let me freshen that up, huh?

599
00:37:39,718 --> 00:37:40,803
Yeah, it's warm in here.

600
00:37:40,928 --> 00:37:44,515
Well, I can, uh...
I can open the door for you.

601
00:37:44,598 --> 00:37:48,269
There. Little fresh air.
That's better.

602
00:37:48,352 --> 00:37:51,146
Uh, how long did you say
you lived in your place?

603
00:37:51,230 --> 00:37:53,023
Oh, just a short while.

604
00:37:55,859 --> 00:37:58,570
There's something very
familiar about that address.

605
00:38:00,030 --> 00:38:03,117
Yeah, in fact, I think I went
to a party there one time.

606
00:38:04,910 --> 00:38:08,247
Now I can't recall
the guy's name, but, uh...

607
00:38:08,330 --> 00:38:10,666
But I'm positive it was
your apartment, in fact.

608
00:38:10,749 --> 00:38:12,710
It's possible.
Do you know who I mean?

609
00:38:13,460 --> 00:38:15,296
I never met the gentleman.

610
00:38:21,427 --> 00:38:23,054
You know,

611
00:38:23,138 --> 00:38:25,098
a guy dreams up all sorts of deceptions

612
00:38:25,181 --> 00:38:27,017
to lure a girl up to his apartment,

613
00:38:27,100 --> 00:38:30,312
and, uh, you invited yourself here.

614
00:38:30,395 --> 00:38:32,439
Well, I trust you.

615
00:38:32,522 --> 00:38:35,358
And that's a compliment to your character.

616
00:38:36,443 --> 00:38:40,071
Well, maybe it's that
you think I'm harmless,

617
00:38:40,739 --> 00:38:43,325
and, uh, that's no compliment.

618
00:38:43,408 --> 00:38:46,369
Mmm. A man is
only as dangerous

619
00:38:47,579 --> 00:38:49,956
as a girl wants him to be.

620
00:38:50,040 --> 00:38:51,499
Say, what's the...

621
00:38:53,501 --> 00:38:58,340
What's the proportion of gin
and quinine water in this drink?

622
00:38:59,841 --> 00:39:03,470
Oh, I'd say about, uh, even-steven.

623
00:39:03,553 --> 00:39:07,349
I'd say it was more steven than even.

624
00:39:08,516 --> 00:39:10,268
Say,

625
00:39:10,352 --> 00:39:12,270
you're not trying to
get me drunk, are you?

626
00:39:13,146 --> 00:39:16,317
We'll examine the motives later, hmm?

627
00:39:16,400 --> 00:39:18,694
But later may be too late.

628
00:39:18,778 --> 00:39:20,529
You know something?

629
00:39:20,613 --> 00:39:22,156
We're talkin' too much.

630
00:39:22,239 --> 00:39:25,701
But if I don't talk, how am I
gonna know what's going on?

631
00:39:25,785 --> 00:39:28,954
If anything very important happens, I, uh,

632
00:39:29,038 --> 00:39:31,207
guarantee you'll be the first to know.

633
00:39:38,756 --> 00:39:41,008
Harvey, sweetheart.

634
00:39:41,092 --> 00:39:43,594
Well, when did you get back into town?

635
00:39:43,677 --> 00:39:45,554
Well, you look just fantastic.

636
00:39:45,638 --> 00:39:48,849
Just like I always say,
my place is your place.

637
00:39:48,933 --> 00:39:51,227
That's why I gave you the key, you know.

638
00:39:51,310 --> 00:39:52,395
How was your trip?

639
00:39:52,478 --> 00:39:53,538
Now, I thought I told you...

640
00:39:53,562 --> 00:39:55,624
Sure, you told me. You told
me you were coming into town,

641
00:39:55,648 --> 00:39:57,876
but you never told me what
time the plane would get there.

642
00:39:57,900 --> 00:39:59,318
I would have been there to meet ya.

643
00:39:59,402 --> 00:40:01,320
Hey, uh, Joan, this is Harve.

644
00:40:01,404 --> 00:40:04,407
How do you do? My best pal.
Greatest pal a guy ever had.

645
00:40:04,490 --> 00:40:06,493
You are a sight for sore
eyes. Will you stop that?

646
00:40:06,576 --> 00:40:07,856
Tom, I am not going to let you...

647
00:40:07,911 --> 00:40:09,079
Isn't he a sweet man?

648
00:40:09,162 --> 00:40:10,598
He's not gonna let me inconvenience myself

649
00:40:10,622 --> 00:40:12,165
by putting him up for the night.

650
00:40:12,249 --> 00:40:14,126
Well, Harvey, if you
want to spend the night in

651
00:40:14,209 --> 00:40:16,002
a dreary old hotel room,
you go right ahead.

652
00:40:16,086 --> 00:40:17,480
What dreary hotel room?
I'm not going...

653
00:40:17,504 --> 00:40:19,649
Come on in the kitchen. I
want to get you a glass of milk.

654
00:40:19,673 --> 00:40:22,259
You must have had a very, very
rough trip. How was the flight?

655
00:40:22,342 --> 00:40:23,552
I'll be back in a second.

656
00:40:23,635 --> 00:40:24,886
I don't want any milk.

657
00:40:24,970 --> 00:40:26,864
It doesn't matter. There
must be something in here.

658
00:40:26,888 --> 00:40:28,140
I just don't want to get...

659
00:40:28,223 --> 00:40:29,599
Now look, I thought I told you...

660
00:40:29,683 --> 00:40:31,935
Shh. This is the girl
that took my place.

661
00:40:32,018 --> 00:40:33,311
What is she doing in my place?

662
00:40:33,395 --> 00:40:34,705
Well, she won't let me go to my place,

663
00:40:34,729 --> 00:40:36,189
so I had to call your place my place.

664
00:40:36,273 --> 00:40:37,375
Get her out of here, you hear?

665
00:40:37,399 --> 00:40:38,442
Out, out.

666
00:40:38,525 --> 00:40:41,361
Harve, I've been working on
her. She's just starting to talk.

667
00:40:41,445 --> 00:40:43,423
Well, teach her how to walk
and get her out of here.

668
00:40:43,447 --> 00:40:44,715
Look. The case is
practically broken.

669
00:40:44,739 --> 00:40:45,883
She's ready to spill the beans.

670
00:40:45,907 --> 00:40:47,409
And she's no crook.

671
00:40:47,492 --> 00:40:49,679
In fact, she has no idea of
the value of your paintings.

672
00:40:49,703 --> 00:40:51,583
Oh, really? Yeah. She
thinks they're ridiculous.

673
00:40:51,621 --> 00:40:52,622
Oh, really?

674
00:40:52,706 --> 00:40:55,000
Yeah. So ridiculous
she wants to throw 'em out.

675
00:40:55,083 --> 00:40:56,209
Is that... No.

676
00:40:56,293 --> 00:40:57,294
Yeah. Yeah.

677
00:40:57,377 --> 00:40:58,463
Oh, no. No.

678
00:40:58,546 --> 00:41:01,299
Oh, well... Well, I didn't
mean it that way. It's just a joke.

679
00:41:01,382 --> 00:41:04,260
Now, I want my paintings, Tom.
I... I want them tonight. Now!

680
00:41:04,343 --> 00:41:06,637
Harvey. Harvey, please. It
was just a joke. I mean, I...

681
00:41:06,721 --> 00:41:09,223
The paintings are perfectly
safe. They're all right.

682
00:41:09,307 --> 00:41:11,225
Now be a pal.
Give me a little time.

683
00:41:11,309 --> 00:41:13,394
I'm on the
five-yard line. Hey.

684
00:41:13,478 --> 00:41:15,188
Why don't you check into the Plaza Hotel?

685
00:41:15,271 --> 00:41:17,106
I'll pay for everything.
All right?

686
00:41:17,190 --> 00:41:19,358
You check into the Plaza Hotel.

687
00:41:19,442 --> 00:41:22,778
Word of honor, if I detect
any evidence of criminal intent,

688
00:41:22,862 --> 00:41:25,531
I'll pick up the paintings
and... And call the police.

689
00:41:25,615 --> 00:41:27,366
Scout's honor.

690
00:41:30,036 --> 00:41:32,788
I've been locked in with my
wife's lawyers for six hours.

691
00:41:32,872 --> 00:41:34,749
I've got indigestion.

692
00:41:35,791 --> 00:41:37,502
I'm tired.

693
00:41:37,585 --> 00:41:41,339
All I want to do is rest my
head on my very own pillow.

694
00:41:41,422 --> 00:41:44,383
I'll pack it in a bag, and you
can take it with you. Come on.

695
00:41:44,467 --> 00:41:47,011
Oh, thank you. Sure. I
knew you'd see it my way.

696
00:41:50,307 --> 00:41:51,850
Going so soon, Harve?

697
00:41:51,934 --> 00:41:55,312
Tom, you're a terrible host.
Give the man some quinine water.

698
00:41:55,395 --> 00:41:56,456
Make yourself at home, Harve.

699
00:41:56,480 --> 00:41:57,481
I have no home.

700
00:41:59,525 --> 00:42:01,485
Good night, Harve.

701
00:42:08,534 --> 00:42:10,494
What does he mean by that?

702
00:42:10,577 --> 00:42:12,037
Who, Harve?

703
00:42:12,120 --> 00:42:13,789
Well, uh, he actually is suffering

704
00:42:13,872 --> 00:42:15,666
from a terrible emotional problem.

705
00:42:15,749 --> 00:42:18,293
He... He thinks
he's a wandering gypsy.

706
00:42:18,377 --> 00:42:20,420
He wears bright-colored
shirts and earrings.

707
00:42:20,504 --> 00:42:22,381
Even shakes a tambourine.

708
00:42:22,464 --> 00:42:25,133
Poor Harve.

709
00:42:25,217 --> 00:42:26,385
Listen.

710
00:42:34,685 --> 00:42:35,769
Tom.

711
00:42:37,437 --> 00:42:39,189
Take me home.

712
00:42:39,273 --> 00:42:41,316
Home? Why?

713
00:42:42,193 --> 00:42:45,238
I don't think I should
be here in this condition.

714
00:42:45,321 --> 00:42:47,031
What condition?

715
00:42:47,115 --> 00:42:51,160
Well... I don't
know, but it feels good, and...

716
00:42:51,244 --> 00:42:54,122
I'd be afraid to feel any better.

717
00:42:54,205 --> 00:42:56,040
Don't you trust me?

718
00:42:56,124 --> 00:42:57,500
Should I?

719
00:43:41,253 --> 00:43:43,297
8:00'll be fine, Tom.

720
00:43:43,380 --> 00:43:45,299
Oh, I was looking at those paintings.

721
00:43:45,382 --> 00:43:47,551
They are by that fellow Schmeero.

722
00:43:48,761 --> 00:43:50,179
Oh, Pirraux.

723
00:43:50,262 --> 00:43:53,474
Uh, well, is he a boozer?

724
00:43:53,932 --> 00:43:55,934
Nobody sees things like that sober.

725
00:43:57,269 --> 00:43:58,812
I'd still like to toss them out.

726
00:44:00,481 --> 00:44:03,525
Tom, why do you stutter when I say that?

727
00:44:04,902 --> 00:44:07,279
Okay, I'll think about it.

728
00:44:07,363 --> 00:44:09,239
Somebody's at the door.
See you at 8:00.

729
00:44:13,243 --> 00:44:14,745
Hi, guys.

730
00:44:18,165 --> 00:44:20,751
Been rehearsing
since 10:00 this morning.

731
00:44:20,834 --> 00:44:23,003
Don't ask me why.

732
00:44:23,087 --> 00:44:24,963
Girl, nobody's making you
do it with whips.

733
00:44:25,047 --> 00:44:26,925
You don't like the play, quit.

734
00:44:27,008 --> 00:44:29,427
Well, maybe if I knew what was going on.

735
00:44:29,511 --> 00:44:33,682
Twenty-two weeks rehearsing, and
still doesn't get the author's message.

736
00:44:33,765 --> 00:44:35,934
Tell me about last night.

737
00:44:36,017 --> 00:44:37,435
Well, it was very nice.

738
00:44:37,519 --> 00:44:41,648
He's...
He's considerate and refined.

739
00:44:41,731 --> 00:44:45,276
He called the play The Onion
because life is like an onion.

740
00:44:45,360 --> 00:44:47,612
Peel away the skins, what have you got?

741
00:44:47,696 --> 00:44:50,156
A naked onion.
Now shut up.

742
00:44:50,240 --> 00:44:53,076
All men are considerate
and refined the first time out.

743
00:44:53,159 --> 00:44:55,078
No, no. Tom's really
different. He's...

744
00:44:55,161 --> 00:44:56,389
Well, he's an interior decorator.

745
00:44:57,622 --> 00:44:59,207
No. Come on.

746
00:44:59,290 --> 00:45:04,045
I'm not kidding. He loves art and
frilly, chintzy gingerbready things.

747
00:45:04,129 --> 00:45:06,256
That's why he wants to see
this apartment so badly.

748
00:45:06,339 --> 00:45:07,966
He says he's got a lot of ideas.

749
00:45:08,800 --> 00:45:10,093
I'll bet he has.

750
00:45:11,052 --> 00:45:14,556
Look, honey, you've latched on
to a very high-grade mechanic.

751
00:45:14,639 --> 00:45:17,059
He's an interior decorator
like I'm an astronaut.

752
00:45:17,143 --> 00:45:20,020
First he relaxes you with the chintz bit.

753
00:45:20,104 --> 00:45:23,232
Then the next thing you know,
you're asking to see his apartment.

754
00:45:23,315 --> 00:45:24,859
I've already seen his apartment.

755
00:45:24,942 --> 00:45:25,943
What did I tell ya?

756
00:45:26,026 --> 00:45:27,194
That's as far as it went.

757
00:45:27,278 --> 00:45:29,196
Patience. He'll get there.

758
00:45:29,280 --> 00:45:30,865
Look, he was a perfect gentleman.

759
00:45:30,948 --> 00:45:33,325
I went to his apartment,
I had a couple of drinks.

760
00:45:33,409 --> 00:45:34,910
I got a little dizzy.

761
00:45:34,994 --> 00:45:38,080
So he brought me home and
kissed me on the forehead and left.

762
00:45:40,207 --> 00:45:42,710
Could be he is an interior decorator.

763
00:45:42,793 --> 00:45:45,087
The author says life's like an onion...

764
00:45:45,171 --> 00:45:49,216
Not only because it's got
skins, but also because it stinks.

765
00:45:49,300 --> 00:45:54,138
Look. Why don't you make
like a potato and get boiled?

766
00:45:54,263 --> 00:45:56,056
Now leave us alone.

767
00:45:56,140 --> 00:45:57,892
He's coming here at 8:00.

768
00:45:57,975 --> 00:46:00,895
Well, just remember to
keep him out in the hallway.

769
00:46:03,022 --> 00:46:05,149
Maybe I could tell him
it's my brother's apartment.

770
00:46:05,232 --> 00:46:07,193
You haven't got a brother.

771
00:46:07,276 --> 00:46:08,527
Well, he doesn't know that.

772
00:46:08,611 --> 00:46:11,323
He'll find out. Men
don't like women who lie.

773
00:46:11,406 --> 00:46:12,991
Besides, you got a great big doozy

774
00:46:13,074 --> 00:46:15,076
working for you right now.
That's enough.

775
00:46:15,160 --> 00:46:18,872
Well, maybe we can stall him
until we rent another apartment.

776
00:46:18,955 --> 00:46:20,499
Do you realize what it would cost

777
00:46:20,582 --> 00:46:22,334
to decorate one as nicely as this?

778
00:46:25,170 --> 00:46:26,880
Wait a second.

779
00:46:29,007 --> 00:46:31,176
Wait a second.

780
00:46:31,259 --> 00:46:33,678
Now, just what piece of hanky-panky

781
00:46:33,762 --> 00:46:36,306
do you have cooking
in that twisted little mind?

782
00:46:43,730 --> 00:46:46,316
I just remembered.

783
00:46:46,399 --> 00:46:48,735
I got an appointment with
my dentist in Jersey City.

784
00:46:48,819 --> 00:46:50,499
Well, wait for me.
My teeth are killing me.

785
00:46:50,529 --> 00:46:51,530
Halt.

786
00:46:51,655 --> 00:46:53,615
No one is leaving the premises.

787
00:46:53,698 --> 00:46:55,700
I am gonna put skirts in this apartment,

788
00:46:55,784 --> 00:46:57,285
and you two are gonna help me.

789
00:47:06,295 --> 00:47:07,922
Ah, yes.

790
00:47:08,005 --> 00:47:09,507
English tailoring.

791
00:47:09,590 --> 00:47:12,176
But wearable. Wearable.

792
00:47:12,260 --> 00:47:13,302
Your husband's, ma'am?

793
00:47:15,471 --> 00:47:17,390
Hardly worn. Hardly worn.

794
00:47:17,473 --> 00:47:18,975
Uh, he left me.

795
00:47:20,393 --> 00:47:22,812
I see.
How long were you married?

796
00:47:25,022 --> 00:47:27,733
Well, I... I'd rather not talk
about it, if you don't mind.

797
00:47:27,817 --> 00:47:29,402
Oh, but I do mind.

798
00:47:29,485 --> 00:47:32,989
You see, I operate here under
the benevolence of a police license,

799
00:47:33,072 --> 00:47:36,868
and if I accept merchandise
of questionable origin,

800
00:47:36,951 --> 00:47:39,370
I jeopardize that license
and my own good name.

801
00:47:39,912 --> 00:47:42,957
Well! If you're
suggesting that I'm a thief...

802
00:47:43,040 --> 00:47:46,669
Well, you say you're married,
but I see you wear no band.

803
00:47:48,921 --> 00:47:52,383
Or could it be that the
vows were never spoken?

804
00:47:53,302 --> 00:47:55,137
Ah. Pity.

805
00:47:55,220 --> 00:47:56,430
You're in difficulty.

806
00:47:56,513 --> 00:47:59,266
But the shame is not in loving unwisely.

807
00:47:59,349 --> 00:48:04,062
The shame rests on him who
would sip the nectar, you might say,

808
00:48:04,146 --> 00:48:07,274
and take flight before
the blossom has fruited.

809
00:48:08,775 --> 00:48:10,193
Mr. O'Shea!

810
00:48:10,277 --> 00:48:11,320
What is it, girl?

811
00:48:11,403 --> 00:48:13,071
Oh, I'm afraid that you have...

812
00:48:13,155 --> 00:48:14,340
Oh, now, don't be afraid, child.

813
00:48:14,364 --> 00:48:16,325
Don't be afraid.
Have courage.

814
00:48:16,408 --> 00:48:21,121
After all, it's the most
natural and sacred of miracles.

815
00:48:21,204 --> 00:48:25,000
I'll, uh... I'll lend
you $100 on the lot,

816
00:48:25,959 --> 00:48:27,461
in spite of the tailoring.

817
00:48:39,056 --> 00:48:41,975
Uh, you sure you won't sell them?

818
00:48:42,059 --> 00:48:44,102
Still hoping the rascal will return.

819
00:48:45,355 --> 00:48:48,566
They rarely do.
They rarely do.

820
00:48:48,650 --> 00:48:51,527
No, no, you... You make
a new life for yourself.

821
00:48:51,611 --> 00:48:53,363
Develop an interest.

822
00:48:53,446 --> 00:48:54,948
Have you any musical ability?

823
00:48:55,031 --> 00:48:56,366
Uh, no, sir.

824
00:48:56,449 --> 00:48:58,493
Oh? Well, here.

825
00:48:58,576 --> 00:49:01,204
Plunk on this to while away the days.

826
00:49:01,287 --> 00:49:04,499
And when the time comes I'll
have a perambulator for you.

827
00:49:04,582 --> 00:49:06,209
Watch your step now as you go out.

828
00:49:06,292 --> 00:49:08,628
You've got to take
great care of yourself now.

829
00:49:08,711 --> 00:49:10,546
Goodbye.
Goodbye.

830
00:49:10,630 --> 00:49:12,423
God bless you.

831
00:49:13,466 --> 00:49:15,259
Oh, no.

832
00:49:15,343 --> 00:49:17,387
They can't fool O'Shea.

833
00:49:27,855 --> 00:49:30,066
Call me at the Plaza
as soon as you find out.

834
00:49:30,149 --> 00:49:31,317
Harvey, will you relax?

835
00:49:31,401 --> 00:49:32,777
The paintings are all right.

836
00:49:32,860 --> 00:49:34,362
Call me anyway.

837
00:49:34,445 --> 00:49:37,825
Look. It's now 7:00. I'm
gonna push the watch up to 8:00.

838
00:49:37,908 --> 00:49:40,285
She can't possibly leave me
in the hall for a whole hour.

839
00:49:40,369 --> 00:49:42,037
She's gotta ask me in.
Talk to you later.

840
00:49:42,121 --> 00:49:43,455
Mmm, yeah.

841
00:50:04,601 --> 00:50:06,061
Well, hi, Tom.
Hi.

842
00:50:06,979 --> 00:50:08,272
What are you doing here so early?

843
00:50:08,355 --> 00:50:09,440
Early?

844
00:50:09,523 --> 00:50:11,525
We did make it for 8:00,
didn't we?

845
00:50:11,608 --> 00:50:13,068
But it's only 7:00.

846
00:50:13,152 --> 00:50:14,653
7:00?

847
00:50:15,446 --> 00:50:16,488
Well, it is racing a bit.

848
00:50:16,572 --> 00:50:19,533
I guess I am early. I'm
sorry. I'll just wait out here.

849
00:50:19,616 --> 00:50:22,286
Don't be silly.
Come on in.

850
00:50:23,704 --> 00:50:25,497
Well, come on!

851
00:50:44,225 --> 00:50:46,895
Uh, Tom, this is Luther.

852
00:50:46,978 --> 00:50:48,229
Hi, neighbor!

853
00:50:48,313 --> 00:50:51,524
Luth, will you get my guest a
drink? I'll just be one minute.

854
00:50:51,608 --> 00:50:52,650
What are you drinkin'?

855
00:50:52,734 --> 00:50:55,111
Uh, uh, nothing, thank you.

856
00:50:55,195 --> 00:50:57,280
You name it, we've got it.

857
00:50:57,530 --> 00:51:01,242
Uh, if you don't mind
I'll just browse around.

858
00:51:06,623 --> 00:51:09,292
How are they getting along out there?

859
00:51:09,375 --> 00:51:10,794
Okay, I guess.

860
00:51:10,877 --> 00:51:11,979
I'd sure like to meet the guy,

861
00:51:12,003 --> 00:51:15,048
but I look like I been working
out with the Green Bay Packers.

862
00:51:19,762 --> 00:51:21,180
He's cute, isn't he?

863
00:51:21,263 --> 00:51:23,224
Not from this angle.

864
00:51:26,310 --> 00:51:27,978
He can walk, can't he?

865
00:51:28,062 --> 00:51:29,313
Sure.

866
00:51:29,396 --> 00:51:31,232
You'd better watch yourself with this guy.

867
00:51:31,315 --> 00:51:33,567
He's gotta be a wolf, from what I can see.

868
00:51:38,364 --> 00:51:40,241
Tom, what's the trouble?

869
00:51:40,324 --> 00:51:43,077
Oh, no trouble at all. I was
just checking the upholstery.

870
00:51:43,160 --> 00:51:44,662
It's very fine.
Very fine indeed.

871
00:51:46,038 --> 00:51:48,624
Well, I'm all ready.
What's on the agenda?

872
00:51:48,707 --> 00:51:50,626
Well, I thought we'd catch a movie.

873
00:51:50,709 --> 00:51:52,461
Then I'd take you for a bite to eat.

874
00:51:52,545 --> 00:51:56,549
And then I'd like to talk to you
about some exciting ideas I have

875
00:51:56,632 --> 00:51:58,342
for redoing my apartment.

876
00:51:58,425 --> 00:52:00,177
Wonderful.

877
00:52:03,305 --> 00:52:06,851
I don't know about that guy.
What's he look like to you?

878
00:52:06,934 --> 00:52:09,395
Just another pretty face.

879
00:52:18,113 --> 00:52:21,449
I tell ya, if there's one thing I
cannot stand, it's a clean Italian movie.

880
00:52:21,533 --> 00:52:24,870
Well, Luigi
Brocatelli always plays such a wolf.

881
00:52:24,953 --> 00:52:27,330
Imagine him as an 80-year-old shoemaker!

882
00:52:27,414 --> 00:52:29,749
I wonder where there's a good
spaghetti place around here.

883
00:52:29,833 --> 00:52:31,751
Hey, hiya, hotshot!
Paul.

884
00:52:31,835 --> 00:52:32,878
Guys, look who's here!

885
00:52:32,961 --> 00:52:33,962
Hi, Tommy!

886
00:52:34,045 --> 00:52:35,130
Hi, Tom. How are you?

887
00:52:35,213 --> 00:52:36,214
Hi. How are you?

888
00:52:36,298 --> 00:52:38,550
Say, uh, folks, I'd like you to meet Joan.

889
00:52:38,633 --> 00:52:40,677
Joan, this is Kitty and Paul
and Jeff and Helen.

890
00:52:40,760 --> 00:52:41,928
Hello, Joan.

891
00:52:42,012 --> 00:52:43,489
Long time no see, Tom.
Where you been hiding?

892
00:52:43,513 --> 00:52:44,764
Oh, at the office mostly.

893
00:52:44,848 --> 00:52:46,016
Been very busy.

894
00:52:46,099 --> 00:52:47,434
Hey, let's go some place.

895
00:52:47,517 --> 00:52:48,602
Dressed like this?

896
00:52:48,685 --> 00:52:50,437
Really, some other time, huh?

897
00:52:50,520 --> 00:52:52,397
You're close by.
How about your place?

898
00:52:52,480 --> 00:52:55,442
Paul's mother is staying with
us. How about your place?

899
00:52:55,525 --> 00:52:58,403
The painters are coming tomorrow
and the whole joint's torn up.

900
00:52:58,486 --> 00:53:01,156
How about your place,
Tom? We won't stay up late.

901
00:53:01,239 --> 00:53:03,159
Uh, well, I'd love to have
you over to my place,

902
00:53:03,242 --> 00:53:04,970
but, you see, the woman
next door is very sick

903
00:53:04,994 --> 00:53:06,555
and the doctors are
coming in and going out.

904
00:53:06,579 --> 00:53:07,622
It's terrible.

905
00:53:08,789 --> 00:53:10,601
Word of honor, I give you
a call next week, all right?

906
00:53:10,625 --> 00:53:12,025
Gee, it was awfully nice to see you.

907
00:53:12,084 --> 00:53:13,353
Good night. Nice to
see you. Good night.

908
00:53:13,377 --> 00:53:17,215
Gee, I'm awfully sorry about
not having you over to my place.

909
00:53:17,381 --> 00:53:21,260
I have an idea. Why don't
you all come over to my place?

910
00:53:23,679 --> 00:53:25,598
Why didn't I think of that?

911
00:53:28,017 --> 00:53:29,852
Four scotches, one vodka...

912
00:53:29,936 --> 00:53:31,955
Harve, the least you could do
is come out and say hello.

913
00:53:31,979 --> 00:53:34,232
I will not go out there and say hello.

914
00:53:34,315 --> 00:53:37,026
Look, I just told 'em we'd stop
here on the way to Joan's place.

915
00:53:37,109 --> 00:53:39,195
Okay, so take 'em to Joan's place.

916
00:53:39,320 --> 00:53:42,114
Joan has no place!
My place is her place.

917
00:53:42,198 --> 00:53:43,508
And I couldn't take 'em to my place,

918
00:53:43,532 --> 00:53:44,718
because your place is my place,

919
00:53:44,742 --> 00:53:47,203
and this gang knows my place,
so I had to come to your place.

920
00:53:57,297 --> 00:54:00,217
I am seriously thinking
of destroying myself.

921
00:54:00,759 --> 00:54:02,803
What will you do when I'm no longer here?

922
00:54:02,886 --> 00:54:04,530
Or will you move me
out of that place, too?

923
00:54:04,554 --> 00:54:06,974
Harvey. Harvey,
don't be bitter.

924
00:54:07,057 --> 00:54:09,559
You know it pains me to do these things.

925
00:54:09,643 --> 00:54:11,353
I told you to call the police days ago.

926
00:54:11,436 --> 00:54:12,813
I'm worried about my paintings.

927
00:54:12,896 --> 00:54:15,732
Well, stop worrying
about 'em. I'll find 'em.

928
00:54:15,816 --> 00:54:17,502
You'll find them? Well,
I... I didn't mean that.

929
00:54:17,526 --> 00:54:19,820
You see, they were temporarily
removed for safety's sake.

930
00:54:19,903 --> 00:54:21,822
Yeah. Uh, they should
be back any... Any, uh...

931
00:54:21,905 --> 00:54:24,283
What happened to my
paintings, Tom? Nothing.

932
00:54:24,366 --> 00:54:25,492
Believe me, they're safe.

933
00:54:25,575 --> 00:54:27,327
She redid my apartment, then she took

934
00:54:27,411 --> 00:54:28,930
the paintings down 'cause they didn't fit.

935
00:54:28,954 --> 00:54:30,080
But as far as being lost...

936
00:54:30,163 --> 00:54:31,164
Where are my paintings?

937
00:54:31,248 --> 00:54:32,291
I don't know.

938
00:54:32,374 --> 00:54:35,002
You don't know?
You don't have...

939
00:54:36,336 --> 00:54:38,297
Don't know? Don't know...

940
00:54:38,380 --> 00:54:41,091
If you... I'm telling you...
You... You don't know my...

941
00:54:41,174 --> 00:54:43,194
Oh, hello. Young lady, would
you please get off the phone?

942
00:54:43,218 --> 00:54:44,386
I've gotta call the police.

943
00:54:44,469 --> 00:54:46,638
Yes, get off the line.
Thank you. I... What is that?

944
00:54:46,723 --> 00:54:48,325
No, I don't want to hear
about your martinis, no.

945
00:54:48,349 --> 00:54:50,143
This is an emergency.

946
00:54:50,226 --> 00:54:52,979
Room service, I want the
police. No, no, I don't want the...

947
00:54:53,062 --> 00:54:56,482
What? No, I... I don't want two
Scotch and four champagnes!

948
00:54:56,566 --> 00:54:58,484
All I want
is the police. Yes!

949
00:54:58,568 --> 00:55:01,404
Oh, she wants them. Well,
why don't you send "em over..."

950
00:55:01,487 --> 00:55:03,990
No, look, I want the police,
now. Do you hear? Please get...

951
00:55:04,073 --> 00:55:06,409
Harvey, you put the police onto that girl

952
00:55:06,492 --> 00:55:09,162
and I'll have to put your
wife onto those paintings.

953
00:55:09,245 --> 00:55:10,455
My friend Milford.

954
00:55:10,538 --> 00:55:12,290
My very best friend.

955
00:55:13,291 --> 00:55:14,876
Harve, go back to your apartment

956
00:55:14,959 --> 00:55:17,045
and, word of honor, I won't bug you again.

957
00:55:17,128 --> 00:55:19,589
Oh, all I want is a good night's sleep.

958
00:55:19,672 --> 00:55:22,484
My good night's sleep and my oil
paintings. Now, is that asking too much?

959
00:55:22,508 --> 00:55:24,427
No. No, I think you're
being very reasonable.

960
00:55:24,510 --> 00:55:26,429
I'll give you a hand.

961
00:55:27,597 --> 00:55:29,098
Here.

962
00:55:29,182 --> 00:55:30,558
Let me help you into your pants.

963
00:55:30,641 --> 00:55:32,435
I'll put on my own pants, thank you.

964
00:55:32,518 --> 00:55:34,496
Just trying to be of some
help. I don't want your help.

965
00:55:34,520 --> 00:55:36,022
You've got the touch of disaster.

966
00:55:36,105 --> 00:55:37,523
You just stay away.
That's all.

967
00:55:38,274 --> 00:55:39,610
My paintings.

968
00:55:40,986 --> 00:55:42,363
That's fantastic.

969
00:55:42,446 --> 00:55:44,281
Absolutely, completely fantastic.

970
00:55:44,365 --> 00:55:45,366
What is?

971
00:55:45,449 --> 00:55:47,326
You just handed me my trousers, right?

972
00:55:47,409 --> 00:55:49,286
That's all.
I just handed 'em to you.

973
00:55:50,788 --> 00:55:52,539
The zipper's stuck.

974
00:55:57,127 --> 00:55:59,338
She's never been this
late without calling.

975
00:55:59,421 --> 00:56:02,383
It's only 4:30.
Why the sweat? She's no kid.

976
00:56:02,466 --> 00:56:06,387
Try information again. Baffle.
B-A-F-F-L-E. Uh, 58th Street Towers.

977
00:56:06,470 --> 00:56:09,348
Information already said
there is no phone for that name.

978
00:56:09,431 --> 00:56:11,266
Let's grab a cab and go over there.

979
00:56:11,350 --> 00:56:13,811
Why are we running? We
don't even know the apartment!

980
00:56:13,894 --> 00:56:16,271
We know he has the penthouse,
and that's enough.

981
00:56:42,132 --> 00:56:43,466
All right, all right.

982
00:56:44,717 --> 00:56:45,844
Ah, wait, wait!

983
00:56:49,597 --> 00:56:53,101
So that's how it is, is it?
You miserable, depraved beast!

984
00:56:53,184 --> 00:56:55,562
Luth, take care of him while I get Joan.

985
00:56:55,645 --> 00:56:57,313
What?

986
00:56:57,397 --> 00:56:59,732
Wait a second!
This doesn't look like the...

987
00:57:06,823 --> 00:57:09,492
All you had to do was
lift a phone at the hotel.

988
00:57:09,576 --> 00:57:11,578
You can do that from any position.

989
00:57:11,661 --> 00:57:14,164
We were having so much fun,
who bothered to look at the clock?

990
00:57:14,247 --> 00:57:17,542
Do you realize that we called every
place in town, including the morgue?

991
00:57:19,169 --> 00:57:20,670
By the way,

992
00:57:20,753 --> 00:57:22,923
if Tom was with you,

993
00:57:23,007 --> 00:57:25,176
who did Luther punch in the face?

994
00:57:25,259 --> 00:57:27,011
Hmm. Must have been
Tom's friend.

995
00:57:27,094 --> 00:57:29,180
He went back to sleep at Tom's apartment.

996
00:57:30,347 --> 00:57:32,141
Oh. Well, anyone
who's stupid enough

997
00:57:32,224 --> 00:57:34,185
to answer the door
at 4:30 in the morning

998
00:57:34,268 --> 00:57:36,145
deserves a punch in the face.

999
00:57:36,228 --> 00:57:39,690
I... It's getting pretty serious
between Tom and me.

1000
00:57:39,773 --> 00:57:42,276
Just these few days?

1001
00:57:42,359 --> 00:57:44,487
Takes me longer to
break in a pair of shoes.

1002
00:57:46,405 --> 00:57:47,948
Boy, half a dozen times last night

1003
00:57:48,032 --> 00:57:49,408
I wanted to tell him the truth,

1004
00:57:49,492 --> 00:57:51,452
but I was afraid.

1005
00:57:51,535 --> 00:57:53,913
Well, just listen to Mother Audrey.

1006
00:57:53,996 --> 00:57:55,498
Don't.

1007
00:58:02,171 --> 00:58:04,548
Do you know how to roast a duck?

1008
00:58:04,632 --> 00:58:06,634
Me?
Oh, that's pretty good.

1009
00:58:06,717 --> 00:58:09,345
Ask me if I could roast a
cottage cheese, I might help you.

1010
00:58:09,428 --> 00:58:12,932
Well, Tom's favorite
dish is duck I'orange,

1011
00:58:13,015 --> 00:58:15,018
so I invited him up for dinner.

1012
00:58:16,478 --> 00:58:18,188
Do you get pains in your head?

1013
00:58:18,271 --> 00:58:19,457
Well, I couldn't tell him I can't cook.

1014
00:58:19,481 --> 00:58:21,316
Why couldn't you tell him you can't cook?

1015
00:58:21,399 --> 00:58:24,986
All you have to say is, "I can't
cook." That means, "I can't cook."

1016
00:58:25,111 --> 00:58:27,656
You keep getting in deeper
and deeper and deeper.

1017
00:58:27,781 --> 00:58:29,908
But he comes up and sees
this beautiful kitchen

1018
00:58:29,991 --> 00:58:31,660
with all this beautiful equipment...

1019
00:58:31,743 --> 00:58:33,662
But a duck!
I mean, The best French chef

1020
00:58:33,745 --> 00:58:35,580
in town can't make a decent duck I'orange.

1021
00:58:35,664 --> 00:58:37,791
That's with brandy and
oranges, the whole schmear.

1022
00:58:37,874 --> 00:58:40,794
Well, how am I going
to learn if I don't try?

1023
00:58:40,877 --> 00:58:42,379
You know, you're not well, Joanie.

1024
00:58:42,462 --> 00:58:44,256
You're not at all well.

1025
00:58:45,215 --> 00:58:47,133
Well, I am gonna roast that duck.

1026
00:58:47,217 --> 00:58:48,552
Now, if you don't want to help...

1027
00:58:48,635 --> 00:58:50,345
All right, I'll help, I'll help.

1028
00:58:51,429 --> 00:58:53,932
But what's gonna happen to that duck

1029
00:58:54,057 --> 00:58:55,517
shouldn't happen to a dog.

1030
00:58:58,228 --> 00:59:00,605
Hmm. Mother and child.

1031
00:59:02,274 --> 00:59:03,358
Let me smell.

1032
00:59:03,441 --> 00:59:04,776
Mmm. Gravy smells good.

1033
00:59:06,237 --> 00:59:09,323
You think we oughta add a
little more brandy and Cointreau?

1034
00:59:10,741 --> 00:59:13,452
Gosh, I don't know. We must
have a quart in there already.

1035
00:59:13,536 --> 00:59:15,788
I mean, I'd hate to have him
get drunk on a duck.

1036
00:59:15,871 --> 00:59:17,832
Mmm. Hey, you'd better
get washed and polished.

1037
00:59:17,915 --> 00:59:19,792
He'll be here very soon.

1038
00:59:19,875 --> 00:59:21,460
What about this kitchen?

1039
00:59:21,544 --> 00:59:23,424
Don't worry. I'll manage,
and then I'll cut out.

1040
00:59:23,462 --> 00:59:24,922
I'm sure you don't want me around.

1041
00:59:25,006 --> 00:59:27,383
Gee, thanks, Audrey.
I appreciate that.

1042
00:59:46,319 --> 00:59:49,530
Let's see.
"Baste every 15 minutes."

1043
00:59:51,324 --> 00:59:53,326
"Keep oven at 275."

1044
01:00:02,169 --> 01:00:04,254
Oh, Joan! Joan, Joan!
Joan, the duck's on fire!

1045
01:00:05,505 --> 01:00:06,506
Joan, look! The duck!

1046
01:00:06,590 --> 01:00:09,009
Oh, don't just stand there!
Do something!

1047
01:00:12,554 --> 01:00:14,056
Ooh!
What?

1048
01:00:14,139 --> 01:00:15,140
Do you wanna ruin it?

1049
01:00:15,223 --> 01:00:16,224
My duck!

1050
01:00:16,308 --> 01:00:17,684
The fork!
Get the serving fork!

1051
01:00:17,768 --> 01:00:20,270
Quick! Don't stand there!
Move! Fork!

1052
01:00:20,354 --> 01:00:22,147
Oh... Here. My duck!

1053
01:00:22,230 --> 01:00:24,066
All right, don't panic.
My beautiful duck!

1054
01:00:24,149 --> 01:00:26,068
All right...

1055
01:00:26,151 --> 01:00:28,278
The broom!
Get the broom! Quick!

1056
01:00:29,988 --> 01:00:31,031
Don't panic!
Don't panic!

1057
01:00:31,114 --> 01:00:32,115
I'm not! I'm not!

1058
01:00:32,199 --> 01:00:34,201
Oh! Oh, I can't watch!

1059
01:00:34,284 --> 01:00:36,536
Oh, I can't watch!
Oh, don't ruin it!

1060
01:00:36,620 --> 01:00:38,622
Oh! Oh!
Oh, no!

1061
01:00:38,705 --> 01:00:40,916
Oh, you ruined my duck!

1062
01:00:46,380 --> 01:00:48,131
Yeah, and she'll be right over.

1063
01:00:48,215 --> 01:00:50,635
And please pack it well.

1064
01:00:50,718 --> 01:00:52,220
Thank you.

1065
01:00:52,303 --> 01:00:55,515
It's Andre's on 23rd Street.
He'll have the duck all packed.

1066
01:00:55,598 --> 01:00:59,268
I'll clean up the slop and
set the table before I leave.

1067
01:00:59,352 --> 01:01:01,979
Buck up.
It was only a duck.

1068
01:01:03,147 --> 01:01:04,774
But she was so beautiful.

1069
01:01:06,401 --> 01:01:08,236
We all have to go some time.

1070
01:01:43,856 --> 01:01:45,524
No duck.

1071
01:02:47,086 --> 01:02:49,148
Hello, Mr. Milford. Anything
to be cleaned or pressed?

1072
01:02:49,172 --> 01:02:50,357
No, Lennie.
Thank you very much.

1073
01:02:50,381 --> 01:02:51,424
See you next week.

1074
01:02:51,508 --> 01:02:54,552
Hey, wait. Wait. Come
to think of it, come inside.

1075
01:02:56,137 --> 01:02:59,557
You'd better take this suit because
I've been living in it for a week.

1076
01:03:03,186 --> 01:03:06,064
Tomorrow okay?
Yep. Tomorrow'll be fine.

1077
01:03:06,147 --> 01:03:09,317
No. Come to think of it,
make it next week.

1078
01:03:11,569 --> 01:03:14,322
Better yet, I'll call for it myself.

1079
01:03:15,615 --> 01:03:17,575
Thanks, Mr. Milford.

1080
01:03:17,659 --> 01:03:20,161
That's all right.
Bye, Lennie.

1081
01:03:37,680 --> 01:03:41,100
"Maid to order. This apartment
serviced by Joan Howell."

1082
01:03:41,183 --> 01:03:43,394
Doesn't sound Japanese.

1083
01:03:43,477 --> 01:03:45,855
"Attention, maid,
discontinue service..."

1084
01:03:50,317 --> 01:03:51,485
Joan is my maid!

1085
01:03:52,903 --> 01:03:53,946
Well, I'll be a...

1086
01:04:19,431 --> 01:04:20,974
Tom!

1087
01:04:48,293 --> 01:04:49,920
Tom?

1088
01:04:56,426 --> 01:04:57,677
Tom!

1089
01:05:05,393 --> 01:05:07,103
Taxi!

1090
01:05:08,189 --> 01:05:11,275
I'm sorry. I don't
carry your kind, Maxine!

1091
01:05:28,417 --> 01:05:29,961
Well, you've got your big, fat nerve.

1092
01:05:30,044 --> 01:05:32,213
Ma'am, I wonder if I could
trouble you for a dime.

1093
01:05:32,296 --> 01:05:34,066
I wonder if I could trouble
you to go soak your head!

1094
01:05:34,090 --> 01:05:36,234
I'm sorry. I didn't mean to take
the booth, but I have a problem.

1095
01:05:36,258 --> 01:05:37,361
Now, if I could have that dime...

1096
01:05:37,385 --> 01:05:39,845
Why don't you just take it?
You've taken everything else.

1097
01:05:39,929 --> 01:05:41,847
Only the lowest,
the meanest, the nastiest,

1098
01:05:41,931 --> 01:05:44,100
the cheapest kind of person would...

1099
01:05:45,142 --> 01:05:46,978
He took it.

1100
01:05:47,061 --> 01:05:49,105
He took my dime!

1101
01:05:49,397 --> 01:05:51,482
Hello, Sam?
Sam, Tom Milford.

1102
01:05:51,565 --> 01:05:53,025
Yeah, listen, don't press my suit.

1103
01:05:53,109 --> 01:05:54,235
Just send it back.

1104
01:05:54,318 --> 01:05:55,778
No, no, don't unpress it.

1105
01:05:55,861 --> 01:05:57,738
Just send it back.
And hurry. Okay.

1106
01:05:57,822 --> 01:05:59,699
Oh, Sam! Sam.
I'm not at home.

1107
01:05:59,782 --> 01:06:01,618
I'm in a phone booth on 62nd Street,

1108
01:06:01,702 --> 01:06:03,662
right across the street
from my place. Right.

1109
01:06:04,079 --> 01:06:08,500
He grabs my arm and bends my
fingers back until I give him that dime.

1110
01:06:08,583 --> 01:06:10,627
Did ya ever!

1111
01:06:10,711 --> 01:06:13,422
It's the Russians. They're
sprinklin' something around.

1112
01:06:13,505 --> 01:06:15,257
Makes everybody crazy.

1113
01:06:15,424 --> 01:06:17,300
Oh, and, Sam, Sam, one more thing.

1114
01:06:17,384 --> 01:06:20,929
I stole a dime from an old
lady. Would you send that, too?

1115
01:06:21,013 --> 01:06:23,473
Why doesn't somebody call a cop?

1116
01:06:23,557 --> 01:06:26,351
What happened? That
man stole that woman's dime!

1117
01:06:26,435 --> 01:06:28,895
Her diamond?
No, no. Her dime.

1118
01:06:28,979 --> 01:06:30,063
Hey, what's going on here?

1119
01:06:30,147 --> 01:06:32,065
That man stole that woman's diamond.

1120
01:06:32,149 --> 01:06:34,317
If there was a red-blooded man around,

1121
01:06:34,401 --> 01:06:37,821
he'd go in that booth
and teach that guy a lesson.

1122
01:06:37,904 --> 01:06:40,866
You got more blood
than I got, lady. You go in.

1123
01:06:41,408 --> 01:06:43,410
Well, I never carry
anything valuable with me.

1124
01:06:43,493 --> 01:06:45,912
I don't even carry green stamps with me.

1125
01:06:45,996 --> 01:06:48,040
All right, ladies,
break it up. Break it up.

1126
01:06:48,123 --> 01:06:51,293
Officer, that fiend threw me
bodily out of the phone booth

1127
01:06:51,376 --> 01:06:53,046
and took my dime!

1128
01:06:53,129 --> 01:06:55,923
I'm a witness, Officer.
I saw every bit of it.

1129
01:06:56,007 --> 01:06:58,843
Where were you when she
was screamin' for help? Yeah!

1130
01:06:58,926 --> 01:07:00,887
I was havin' my ears pierced.

1131
01:07:07,560 --> 01:07:10,521
Officer, would you mind waiting a
moment? I haven't a thing to wear.

1132
01:07:10,605 --> 01:07:12,440
Outside.
Yeah, but...

1133
01:07:12,523 --> 01:07:15,068
Outside.

1134
01:07:17,528 --> 01:07:20,198
Believe it or not, I was on
my way to a duck dinner.

1135
01:07:20,281 --> 01:07:22,658
Oh, and I thought you were
waiting for the 4:00 dog sled.

1136
01:07:22,742 --> 01:07:25,078
Well, I know it's unusual,
but I can explain everything.

1137
01:07:25,161 --> 01:07:26,204
Sure!

1138
01:07:26,287 --> 01:07:29,665
You're Nanook of the North
and I am Admiral Byrd.

1139
01:07:30,541 --> 01:07:31,709
You gotta believe me.

1140
01:07:31,793 --> 01:07:34,545
I'm a victim of circumstance,
and I'm waiting for my suit.

1141
01:07:34,629 --> 01:07:37,924
Don't let him talk you out of it,
Officer. He's some kind of a pre-vert.

1142
01:07:38,007 --> 01:07:40,301
I can handle this, lady.
Let's take a walk.

1143
01:07:40,384 --> 01:07:42,970
Officer, you gotta believe me.
I'm as sane as you are.

1144
01:07:43,054 --> 01:07:45,432
Sure you are. Saner.

1145
01:07:45,516 --> 01:07:48,352
I asked for this beat.
Come on.

1146
01:07:49,061 --> 01:07:52,356
But what about my dime?
Wait. Look. Look. Hold it. Hold it.

1147
01:07:52,439 --> 01:07:55,567
I told you I was just waiting
for my suit. Lennie. Lennie.

1148
01:07:55,651 --> 01:07:57,486
This lady over here gets the dime, please.

1149
01:07:57,569 --> 01:07:59,029
Get in there and put it on.

1150
01:07:59,113 --> 01:08:00,614
And let me tell you something.

1151
01:08:00,697 --> 01:08:02,926
If I catch you causing any
more disturbances around here,

1152
01:08:02,950 --> 01:08:05,494
I'm gonna throw you in the
cookie jar and slap the lid on.

1153
01:08:05,577 --> 01:08:07,663
You understand?
Yes, sir. Yes, sir.

1154
01:08:09,832 --> 01:08:10,999
Officer!

1155
01:08:11,083 --> 01:08:12,209
All right, all right!

1156
01:08:12,292 --> 01:08:13,544
Break it up!

1157
01:08:13,627 --> 01:08:14,938
What's the matter?
Ain't you never seen

1158
01:08:14,962 --> 01:08:17,089
a naked man in a phone booth before?

1159
01:08:17,172 --> 01:08:19,466
Break it up! Come on! Move on!

1160
01:08:21,426 --> 01:08:23,428
Well, I knew you'd been here

1161
01:08:23,512 --> 01:08:25,430
when I saw your wallet
was left on the table.

1162
01:08:25,514 --> 01:08:26,974
Well, I thought I'd just dash out

1163
01:08:27,057 --> 01:08:28,851
and have my suit pressed
while I was waiting.

1164
01:08:29,601 --> 01:08:31,770
Mmm. This duck
is the greatest.

1165
01:08:32,604 --> 01:08:34,731
Why, it's better than Andre's.

1166
01:08:34,815 --> 01:08:36,526
Where'd you learn to cook so well?

1167
01:08:36,609 --> 01:08:38,903
Oh, there are tricks.

1168
01:08:38,987 --> 01:08:41,823
Say, uh, are you just as
good at housekeeping?

1169
01:08:41,906 --> 01:08:44,242
Mmm. I'm even better.

1170
01:08:44,325 --> 01:08:47,328
Career girl, a cook, a housekeeper.

1171
01:08:48,788 --> 01:08:51,374
Why, you're, uh...
You're quite a catch.

1172
01:08:51,457 --> 01:08:54,294
It's going to take an awful lot
of husband to keep up with you.

1173
01:08:54,377 --> 01:08:56,963
Or aren't you interested
in getting married?

1174
01:08:57,046 --> 01:08:58,798
Now, what girl isn't?

1175
01:08:58,882 --> 01:09:00,758
Have you got anybody in mind?

1176
01:09:00,842 --> 01:09:02,635
Mmm-mmm. Not yet.

1177
01:09:03,178 --> 01:09:04,363
Well, what's he got to be like?

1178
01:09:04,387 --> 01:09:05,471
Oh, I'm wide open.

1179
01:09:05,555 --> 01:09:09,517
Preferably, uh, rich,
handsome, uh, personable?

1180
01:09:09,601 --> 01:09:13,646
Well, you aim for
the moon and settle for the best.

1181
01:09:14,147 --> 01:09:16,024
Well, you should have no trouble at all.

1182
01:09:16,107 --> 01:09:18,359
I mean, you're pretty,

1183
01:09:18,443 --> 01:09:20,612
uh, gifted,

1184
01:09:20,695 --> 01:09:22,614
you've got a lovely apartment.

1185
01:09:22,697 --> 01:09:25,325
Excuse me.

1186
01:09:25,408 --> 01:09:27,453
In fact, you've got a lot
of things going for you.

1187
01:09:29,455 --> 01:09:33,959
Uh, well, uh, what are
you looking for in a girl?

1188
01:09:34,293 --> 01:09:37,254
Well, I want everything to
be in the right place, of course.

1189
01:09:37,338 --> 01:09:38,923
But there's one quality above all

1190
01:09:39,006 --> 01:09:41,675
that, well, to me is just a must.

1191
01:09:41,759 --> 01:09:43,052
Honesty.

1192
01:09:45,846 --> 01:09:48,046
You see, I believe if a girl
is beautiful on the inside,

1193
01:09:48,098 --> 01:09:50,517
she can't help but be
beautiful on the outside.

1194
01:09:50,601 --> 01:09:52,436
It's simple as that.

1195
01:09:52,728 --> 01:09:54,855
Um...

1196
01:09:54,939 --> 01:09:56,815
Well, uh,

1197
01:09:56,899 --> 01:09:59,610
I... I expect to be
leaving here soon.

1198
01:10:02,321 --> 01:10:03,405
Where?

1199
01:10:04,490 --> 01:10:06,242
Well, I'm...
I'm not sure.

1200
01:10:07,368 --> 01:10:08,608
You will let me know, won't you?

1201
01:10:10,829 --> 01:10:11,872
Do you want to know?

1202
01:10:12,873 --> 01:10:13,874
I want to know.

1203
01:10:15,459 --> 01:10:17,795
Oh, the... Wine.

1204
01:10:28,431 --> 01:10:31,351
There I am, on 62nd
Street in my underwear,

1205
01:10:31,434 --> 01:10:33,395
and I can't even raise a dime.

1206
01:10:34,396 --> 01:10:35,730
What'd she do with your suits?

1207
01:10:35,814 --> 01:10:37,691
I have no idea.

1208
01:10:37,774 --> 01:10:39,067
She probably sold 'em.

1209
01:10:39,150 --> 01:10:40,652
Nah. She's not a thief.

1210
01:10:40,735 --> 01:10:42,696
She's not a compulsive liar either.

1211
01:10:42,779 --> 01:10:44,948
She's just a...
Just a bush leaguer,

1212
01:10:45,031 --> 01:10:46,533
trying to make a big impression.

1213
01:10:46,616 --> 01:10:50,453
She saw an opportunity to live
it up for 10 days, she grabbed it.

1214
01:10:50,537 --> 01:10:52,872
Hmm. Uh, when are you
due back from the coast?

1215
01:10:52,956 --> 01:10:54,165
Day after tomorrow.

1216
01:10:54,249 --> 01:10:56,376
Good. Maybe things can get
back to normal around here.

1217
01:10:56,459 --> 01:10:58,920
There's an awful lot of work
piled up on your desk.

1218
01:10:59,921 --> 01:11:02,841
Harve, I was thinking of, uh,

1219
01:11:02,924 --> 01:11:05,051
delaying my return for a few days.

1220
01:11:05,135 --> 01:11:07,137
Oh, no, you're not.

1221
01:11:07,220 --> 01:11:10,140
What concern is it of yours?
I mean, it's my affair.

1222
01:11:10,223 --> 01:11:13,519
Your affairs have a remarkable
way of becoming my affairs.

1223
01:11:13,602 --> 01:11:14,729
Now, I've had it, Tom.

1224
01:11:14,812 --> 01:11:17,565
People waking me at 5:00 in
the morning to take a punch at me.

1225
01:11:17,690 --> 01:11:20,568
Moving around all hours of the
night like a wandering nomad.

1226
01:11:20,651 --> 01:11:23,112
Look, if the girl moves,
I'll never see her again.

1227
01:11:23,321 --> 01:11:26,365
And, uh, I want to see her again.

1228
01:11:26,449 --> 01:11:28,135
Now, what in the world
do you want with a dame

1229
01:11:28,159 --> 01:11:30,077
who's deceived you
from the moment she met you?

1230
01:11:30,161 --> 01:11:32,330
I like her. It's just
that simple. Yeah.

1231
01:11:32,413 --> 01:11:34,573
You can pick up that phone
and call any one of 50 girls

1232
01:11:34,623 --> 01:11:36,263
who are a darn sight better than this one.

1233
01:11:36,959 --> 01:11:38,959
You are hardly an expert
at picking the right girl.

1234
01:11:40,463 --> 01:11:43,632
You can stand there, you
with no home and no clothes,

1235
01:11:43,716 --> 01:11:45,426
and tell me that this
one is the right one?

1236
01:11:48,095 --> 01:11:50,348
Well, right or wrong,
I just don't want to lose her.

1237
01:11:50,431 --> 01:11:52,808
Now, have the California office
send a telegram in my name

1238
01:11:52,892 --> 01:11:54,202
saying I'll be delayed for a week.

1239
01:11:54,226 --> 01:11:55,644
That's all I'm asking.

1240
01:11:55,728 --> 01:11:57,313
Now, I'm warning you, Tom.

1241
01:11:57,396 --> 01:12:00,191
You've stretched our friendship
just about as far as it'll go.

1242
01:12:00,274 --> 01:12:01,776
I'm running a business here.

1243
01:12:01,859 --> 01:12:03,779
Either get with it or get out.

1244
01:12:06,907 --> 01:12:08,992
All right, Harve. You win.

1245
01:12:09,242 --> 01:12:11,620
I know you have my best
interests at heart, so, uh...

1246
01:12:11,703 --> 01:12:15,999
So I'll forget about the girl and
just let her disappear out of my life.

1247
01:12:16,208 --> 01:12:18,710
And I'll, uh, drown myself in my work.

1248
01:12:19,586 --> 01:12:20,921
You're too agreeable.

1249
01:12:22,339 --> 01:12:25,300
Harvey, from now on, I promise,
I am just a company man.

1250
01:12:25,384 --> 01:12:27,886
You're planning something
sneaky to get even with me.

1251
01:12:27,969 --> 01:12:29,739
You're gonna call Leona and
tell her about the paintings.

1252
01:12:29,763 --> 01:12:30,806
What's the matter with you?

1253
01:12:30,889 --> 01:12:32,533
You're gonna write her
lawyers an anonymous letter

1254
01:12:32,557 --> 01:12:34,518
telling them about
my securities and the boat.

1255
01:12:34,601 --> 01:12:36,496
You hurt me when you
accuse me of things like that.

1256
01:12:36,520 --> 01:12:38,063
You're in love with that girl.

1257
01:12:38,146 --> 01:12:40,649
And a person in love is a person insane.

1258
01:12:40,732 --> 01:12:42,609
I'm not insane.
Oh, no?

1259
01:12:42,692 --> 01:12:43,795
What other kind of mind would dream up

1260
01:12:43,819 --> 01:12:45,654
a double-crossing plot like this?

1261
01:12:53,829 --> 01:12:57,208
What are you so clouded
up about? Lovers' quarrel?

1262
01:12:57,291 --> 01:12:59,794
We were never lovers,
and we didn't quarrel.

1263
01:12:59,877 --> 01:13:01,671
What about the banjo?

1264
01:13:01,754 --> 01:13:04,382
I'll take it back to
the pawn shop with me.

1265
01:13:04,465 --> 01:13:06,592
Give the ticket to Luther.
He'll get the suits.

1266
01:13:06,676 --> 01:13:08,761
He'll also get a good hit in the head.

1267
01:13:08,886 --> 01:13:09,971
Why?

1268
01:13:10,054 --> 01:13:12,134
"Cause O'Shea'll think
you're the father of my child."

1269
01:13:12,598 --> 01:13:15,184
I haven't been near enough
to her to give her a cold.

1270
01:13:15,268 --> 01:13:18,855
You know, you were
right about men not liking liars.

1271
01:13:20,022 --> 01:13:21,357
He said something.

1272
01:13:21,941 --> 01:13:23,234
How did he happen to mention it?

1273
01:13:23,317 --> 01:13:25,194
Came out somehow.

1274
01:13:26,279 --> 01:13:29,824
Maybe it's just as well it ends right now.

1275
01:13:38,374 --> 01:13:40,835
Thirty, 40, 50,

1276
01:13:40,918 --> 01:13:43,880
60, 70, 80, 90,

1277
01:13:43,963 --> 01:13:45,339
100.

1278
01:13:45,423 --> 01:13:46,592
What are the charges?

1279
01:13:46,675 --> 01:13:47,759
No. No charge.

1280
01:13:47,843 --> 01:13:49,011
Glad to be of help.

1281
01:13:49,094 --> 01:13:50,512
Well, thank you,
Mr. O'Shea.

1282
01:13:50,596 --> 01:13:52,639
And if I might make a suggestion,

1283
01:13:52,723 --> 01:13:54,516
now that he's back, you run him down

1284
01:13:54,600 --> 01:13:56,685
to city hall and get a license.

1285
01:13:56,768 --> 01:13:59,438
Mr. O'Shea, there's
something I must tell you.

1286
01:13:59,521 --> 01:14:02,274
Oh, tell me nothing. The
child's got to have a name.

1287
01:14:03,358 --> 01:14:05,903
I am not going to have a child.

1288
01:14:07,362 --> 01:14:09,448
Well, don't tell him
till after the wedding.

1289
01:14:09,531 --> 01:14:12,451
You get the certificate.
It's a permanent credit card.

1290
01:14:12,534 --> 01:14:14,745
You listen to O'Shea.

1291
01:14:18,540 --> 01:14:19,601
This came right after you left.

1292
01:14:27,174 --> 01:14:31,887
"Attention, maid. Return
delayed one week. Milford."

1293
01:14:41,940 --> 01:14:43,066
She loves the guy.

1294
01:14:43,149 --> 01:14:44,609
Love, schmove.

1295
01:14:44,692 --> 01:14:46,402
One more skin on the onion.

1296
01:15:23,773 --> 01:15:25,567
Hello?

1297
01:15:25,650 --> 01:15:27,193
Oh, hello, Tom.

1298
01:15:27,277 --> 01:15:29,738
Uh, no. I just
stepped out for a minute.

1299
01:15:31,073 --> 01:15:35,369
Um, Tom, I was wondering if we
should be seeing each other again.

1300
01:15:37,288 --> 01:15:39,748
Well, there are many reasons.

1301
01:15:40,541 --> 01:15:41,667
Oh, no, no.

1302
01:15:41,750 --> 01:15:44,712
You've been very nice and
I've enjoyed being with you.

1303
01:15:46,046 --> 01:15:49,341
Oh, I do. I do.

1304
01:15:50,801 --> 01:15:53,679
Yeah. No.

1305
01:15:59,143 --> 01:16:00,728
Oh, Tom.

1306
01:16:02,146 --> 01:16:06,275
Oh, you mean he shuttled in
and shuttled out again?

1307
01:16:06,358 --> 01:16:08,736
Must we go through all
the details, Mr. O'Shea?

1308
01:16:08,819 --> 01:16:11,905
Well, you can't have him
running in and out like the tides.

1309
01:16:11,989 --> 01:16:15,159
You'll wear yourself
out carrying the suits.

1310
01:16:15,242 --> 01:16:17,036
Look, I'm in a hurry.
Never mind the money.

1311
01:16:17,119 --> 01:16:18,871
Just hold the suits for me, huh?

1312
01:16:18,954 --> 01:16:20,706
Do you love the man?

1313
01:16:22,167 --> 01:16:24,669
Mr. O'Shea,
there is no man.

1314
01:16:24,753 --> 01:16:26,421
I see.

1315
01:16:26,504 --> 01:16:28,340
You want to forget him.

1316
01:16:28,423 --> 01:16:31,259
Good riddance it is.
So now I can tell you.

1317
01:16:31,343 --> 01:16:32,636
Goodbye, Mr. O'Shea.

1318
01:16:32,719 --> 01:16:33,762
There's another woman.

1319
01:16:38,767 --> 01:16:40,602
What'd you say?

1320
01:16:40,685 --> 01:16:43,688
I found this in one of the
pockets the first time you came in.

1321
01:16:43,772 --> 01:16:47,567
I didn't want to upset you,
so I slipped it to one side.

1322
01:16:48,777 --> 01:16:50,695
Why, that's Tom.

1323
01:16:53,573 --> 01:16:55,700
That's Tom!

1324
01:16:55,784 --> 01:16:57,285
That's Tom Milford!

1325
01:16:57,369 --> 01:16:59,454
Oh, no. Oh, no!

1326
01:17:00,288 --> 01:17:03,291
Oh, I just want to die.

1327
01:17:03,375 --> 01:17:05,710
Oh, I am so embarrassed.

1328
01:17:05,794 --> 01:17:08,755
I just want to die!

1329
01:17:08,963 --> 01:17:12,801
Well, why didn't the bum say
something? Why did he string you along?

1330
01:17:12,926 --> 01:17:14,487
As far as I know, all that changed hands

1331
01:17:14,512 --> 01:17:16,972
was some quinine water and a roast duck.

1332
01:17:17,056 --> 01:17:19,266
Because he wanted me to look like

1333
01:17:19,350 --> 01:17:21,435
the biggest idiot that
ever came out of the west.

1334
01:17:21,519 --> 01:17:24,605
Or the north, south
and east. And Canada.

1335
01:17:24,689 --> 01:17:26,273
Well...

1336
01:17:26,357 --> 01:17:27,608
It's that time again.

1337
01:17:27,692 --> 01:17:29,694
If he had one shred of decency,

1338
01:17:29,777 --> 01:17:31,445
he would have never led me on.

1339
01:17:31,529 --> 01:17:33,280
Any gentleman would have spoken up

1340
01:17:33,364 --> 01:17:35,741
the minute I brought him
back to his apartment.

1341
01:17:35,825 --> 01:17:39,412
Only a lying, sneaky, deceitful
snake would do that to a girl.

1342
01:17:39,537 --> 01:17:40,538
Yeah, how about that?

1343
01:17:40,621 --> 01:17:43,624
When all you did was steal his
apartment and hock all his clothes.

1344
01:17:43,708 --> 01:17:45,042
Why didn't he stop me?

1345
01:17:45,126 --> 01:17:46,585
Why did you start it?

1346
01:17:46,669 --> 01:17:47,920
Don't change the subject.

1347
01:17:48,003 --> 01:17:50,589
Give me a hand with
these slipcovers, will ya?

1348
01:17:50,673 --> 01:17:52,925
He is not gonna get away
with it. Do you understand me?

1349
01:17:53,008 --> 01:17:54,552
He is not gonna get away with it!

1350
01:17:54,635 --> 01:17:56,721
Joanie, sit down, hmm?

1351
01:17:58,264 --> 01:18:01,642
Do you know that you
could get six months for this?

1352
01:18:01,726 --> 01:18:03,602
Jail. Pokey-pie.

1353
01:18:03,686 --> 01:18:06,565
You should be grateful
that he didn't blow a whistle.

1354
01:18:06,648 --> 01:18:08,442
Oh, he wouldn't dare.

1355
01:18:08,525 --> 01:18:09,651
He wouldn't dare,

1356
01:18:09,735 --> 01:18:12,863
because I can prove that he
led me on for immoral purposes.

1357
01:18:13,822 --> 01:18:16,658
Now, Joanie, you didn't
tell me about that.

1358
01:18:16,742 --> 01:18:18,243
When did it happen?

1359
01:18:18,326 --> 01:18:20,746
It didn't. But he was
getting around to it.

1360
01:18:20,871 --> 01:18:22,330
Are you gonna help me or not?

1361
01:18:22,414 --> 01:18:24,082
I am not leaving this apartment.

1362
01:18:24,166 --> 01:18:27,294
He humiliated me, and he
is not gonna get away with it.

1363
01:18:27,377 --> 01:18:28,879
Don't forget, I'm from Iowa.

1364
01:18:28,962 --> 01:18:30,762
What has that got to
do with it? I don't know.

1365
01:18:30,797 --> 01:18:34,301
But he is gonna rue the day that
he ever toyed with Joan Milford.

1366
01:18:34,384 --> 01:18:36,094
Your name is Howell.
Remember?

1367
01:18:36,178 --> 01:18:37,471
How you gonna get him to rue?

1368
01:18:37,554 --> 01:18:38,555
I'll think of something.

1369
01:18:38,638 --> 01:18:40,658
Oh, then you're gonna keep
your date with him tonight.

1370
01:18:40,682 --> 01:18:42,601
Oh! I can't wait.

1371
01:18:42,684 --> 01:18:47,481
He may just give me the clue
on the best way to rue.

1372
01:18:52,486 --> 01:18:53,945
Oh, it hardly seems possible

1373
01:18:54,029 --> 01:18:56,699
that we've known each other
less than two weeks.

1374
01:18:56,783 --> 01:18:59,160
I feel like I've known you forever.

1375
01:18:59,243 --> 01:19:02,747
And yet, you know, we really
know very little about one another.

1376
01:19:02,830 --> 01:19:05,333
Well, what more do you have to know?

1377
01:19:05,416 --> 01:19:08,544
Oh, things like your ideas and such.

1378
01:19:08,628 --> 01:19:10,588
At 2:30 in the morning?

1379
01:19:10,671 --> 01:19:13,382
That's a heck of a time to exchange ideas.

1380
01:19:13,466 --> 01:19:14,801
Well, you know, you once told me

1381
01:19:14,884 --> 01:19:18,596
that the most important
quality in a woman was honesty.

1382
01:19:18,679 --> 01:19:21,015
What do you think the most
important quality in a man is?

1383
01:19:21,098 --> 01:19:23,059
Same thing. Honesty.

1384
01:19:23,142 --> 01:19:24,477
Honesty in anybody.

1385
01:19:24,560 --> 01:19:28,147
And do your friends
consider you an honest man?

1386
01:19:28,231 --> 01:19:29,524
I like to think so.

1387
01:19:30,608 --> 01:19:32,819
You must have such exciting friends.

1388
01:19:32,902 --> 01:19:34,445
Especially among the women.

1389
01:19:34,529 --> 01:19:36,739
No, I...
I'm actually a lonely man.

1390
01:19:38,533 --> 01:19:40,409
You see, my real love is my work.

1391
01:19:40,493 --> 01:19:43,120
Now, splashes of colors
or beautiful fabrics

1392
01:19:43,204 --> 01:19:44,747
or a well-turned piece of wood,

1393
01:19:44,831 --> 01:19:47,458
now those are the things
that can thrill me.

1394
01:19:47,708 --> 01:19:49,920
I'm, uh, really quite an artist.

1395
01:19:51,713 --> 01:19:54,258
Yes, you certainly are quite an artist.

1396
01:19:54,341 --> 01:19:58,262
But, you know, you
should have more friends.

1397
01:19:58,345 --> 01:20:00,055
I have you.
What more do I need?

1398
01:20:00,138 --> 01:20:02,766
What do you say I have a party for you?

1399
01:20:02,850 --> 01:20:05,227
But we have each other.
That's plenty, isn't it?

1400
01:20:05,310 --> 01:20:07,729
Oh, but, Tom, I'm
not really very exciting,

1401
01:20:07,813 --> 01:20:10,691
and I can introduce you to
a lot of interesting people.

1402
01:20:10,774 --> 01:20:13,652
Mmm. I... I'm very
uncomfortable around people.

1403
01:20:13,735 --> 01:20:16,446
Well, Tom, my mind's made up.

1404
01:20:16,530 --> 01:20:18,866
I'm going to invite a few
friends over Friday night.

1405
01:20:18,949 --> 01:20:20,826
And we can have a few drinks and dance

1406
01:20:20,909 --> 01:20:22,703
and I'll get some sandwiches in.

1407
01:20:22,786 --> 01:20:25,622
Why, I bet you
the change would do you good.

1408
01:20:25,706 --> 01:20:27,583
Well, if it'll please you,
then I'm for it.

1409
01:20:27,666 --> 01:20:28,667
Yes.

1410
01:20:30,752 --> 01:20:33,338
It's getting late now, Tom.
You'd better go.

1411
01:20:33,422 --> 01:20:34,965
Okay.

1412
01:20:39,303 --> 01:20:41,306
Night.
Night.

1413
01:20:54,861 --> 01:20:57,030
Hello. Is Agnes there?

1414
01:20:58,156 --> 01:21:01,451
Oh, hello, Agnes. This
is Mr. Milford's secretary.

1415
01:21:01,534 --> 01:21:04,621
We're having a little party
Friday night at Mr. Milford's place.

1416
01:21:04,704 --> 01:21:06,706
A "Streets of Paris" party.

1417
01:21:06,789 --> 01:21:09,042
And all the girls are coming dressed

1418
01:21:09,125 --> 01:21:11,336
as their favorite women of the boulevards.

1419
01:21:14,672 --> 01:21:18,426
Oh, fine. And, Agnes, uh,
please, it's a surprise party.

1420
01:21:18,509 --> 01:21:20,720
So don't call Tom back.

1421
01:21:20,803 --> 01:21:23,056
Al righty.

1422
01:21:23,139 --> 01:21:24,849
Goodbye, Agnes.

1423
01:21:24,933 --> 01:21:28,019
Uh, what are you trying to do, Joan?

1424
01:21:28,102 --> 01:21:30,563
This is national
rue week. Remember?

1425
01:21:30,647 --> 01:21:32,650
Yeah, but what point
are you trying to make?

1426
01:21:33,192 --> 01:21:36,362
This is a man who demands
honesty in his women.

1427
01:21:36,445 --> 01:21:39,907
Well, I just want to show him that
it's a pretty good virtue in men, too.

1428
01:21:40,407 --> 01:21:43,285
Huh! "I'm so alone, Joan."

1429
01:21:43,369 --> 01:21:46,705
"I'm so uncomfortable
around women."

1430
01:21:46,789 --> 01:21:49,083
I don't know. You're going
to an awful lot of trouble

1431
01:21:49,166 --> 01:21:50,709
for a guy you're supposed to hate.

1432
01:21:55,172 --> 01:21:56,340
You want a lift home?

1433
01:21:56,423 --> 01:21:59,510
No, Harve, thank you. I'm gonna
hang around and do a little thinking.

1434
01:21:59,593 --> 01:22:00,633
Good afternoon, gentlemen.

1435
01:22:00,678 --> 01:22:02,554
Good afternoon, Bert.
Have a nice weekend.

1436
01:22:02,638 --> 01:22:04,139
Bye.

1437
01:22:04,223 --> 01:22:06,100
What do you wanna think about?

1438
01:22:06,183 --> 01:22:07,643
Joan.

1439
01:22:07,726 --> 01:22:09,645
Suddenly, she's very important to me.

1440
01:22:09,728 --> 01:22:11,522
I'm awfully fond of that girl.

1441
01:22:11,605 --> 01:22:14,483
I don't dig it. You know
she's been one long lie.

1442
01:22:14,608 --> 01:22:17,778
No. Her only crime has been
trying to impress me.

1443
01:22:18,862 --> 01:22:20,280
No matter how you rationalize,

1444
01:22:20,364 --> 01:22:22,324
she's trespassing
on someone else's property.

1445
01:22:22,408 --> 01:22:23,868
That's morally and legally wrong.

1446
01:22:25,620 --> 01:22:28,123
Well, what about a man who conceals assets

1447
01:22:28,206 --> 01:22:30,959
that, morally and legally,
are not completely his,

1448
01:22:31,042 --> 01:22:33,670
such as a nice collection
of oil paintings?

1449
01:22:33,753 --> 01:22:35,005
Well, uh...

1450
01:22:35,672 --> 01:22:38,091
She's throwing
a little party for me tonight.

1451
01:22:39,342 --> 01:22:42,303
I told her I didn't have many
friends, that I was kind of a hermit.

1452
01:22:42,429 --> 01:22:44,472
Oh, that must have been
a very touching scene.

1453
01:22:45,015 --> 01:22:47,350
Harvey, I feel like a heel.

1454
01:22:48,143 --> 01:22:50,186
For two weeks now
I've been spiking her drinks,

1455
01:22:50,311 --> 01:22:53,815
playing on her sympathies, lurking
around just waiting to take advantage.

1456
01:22:55,483 --> 01:22:57,128
Would you want somebody
to do that to your sister?

1457
01:22:57,152 --> 01:23:00,113
I sure would. My sister's
single and pushing 40.

1458
01:23:00,613 --> 01:23:02,532
I'm gonna go to the party
and grab her aside,

1459
01:23:02,615 --> 01:23:04,510
tell her who I am and forgive
her for what she's done.

1460
01:23:04,534 --> 01:23:07,746
I don't care what you do. Just
come back with my paintings.

1461
01:23:09,247 --> 01:23:11,041
Hey, Harve, why don't
you come along with me

1462
01:23:11,124 --> 01:23:13,460
and pick up the paintings yourself?

1463
01:23:13,543 --> 01:23:16,440
I mean, after all, you've been involved
in this whole thing from the beginning.

1464
01:23:16,464 --> 01:23:18,132
Could be a lot of laughs.

1465
01:23:18,215 --> 01:23:19,717
Could just be a lot of laughs.

1466
01:24:14,147 --> 01:24:15,774
Must be old home week.

1467
01:24:38,505 --> 01:24:41,633
I don't get it. What kind of
a party is this without men?

1468
01:24:41,716 --> 01:24:43,385
Be patient. You know Tom.

1469
01:24:43,468 --> 01:24:45,220
He's always full of surprises.

1470
01:24:45,303 --> 01:24:46,930
He never surprised me.

1471
01:24:48,181 --> 01:24:50,142
Look at the one at the table,

1472
01:24:50,225 --> 01:24:52,727
the one stuffing her face
with the tuna fish sandwiches.

1473
01:24:57,774 --> 01:25:00,069
That's gotta be Ginny Frazell.

1474
01:25:00,153 --> 01:25:02,405
Slow starter, but great in the stretch.

1475
01:25:03,573 --> 01:25:05,533
That's right, Chief.
Dozens of 'em.

1476
01:25:06,159 --> 01:25:07,618
I can't figure it either,

1477
01:25:07,702 --> 01:25:10,580
unless the seventh fleet's
steaming down Madison Avenue.

1478
01:25:19,213 --> 01:25:21,591
What are you gonna do when
your man finally shows up?

1479
01:25:21,674 --> 01:25:24,594
I don't have to do anything.
I just want him to see me.

1480
01:25:24,677 --> 01:25:26,053
He'll get the message.

1481
01:25:26,137 --> 01:25:28,681
Chief, I counted 50.

1482
01:25:28,764 --> 01:25:31,475
Must be a national convention.

1483
01:25:31,559 --> 01:25:33,561
Just a second.

1484
01:25:33,644 --> 01:25:35,813
Two male individuals just arrived.

1485
01:25:36,772 --> 01:25:38,274
I can't see their faces.

1486
01:25:42,236 --> 01:25:44,697
But they ain't here
to read the gas meters.

1487
01:25:44,780 --> 01:25:46,616
Yeah. Yeah.

1488
01:25:46,699 --> 01:25:48,951
Better charter a bus.

1489
01:25:49,285 --> 01:25:51,538
Looks like they're all here.

1490
01:25:51,622 --> 01:25:55,042
I wish he'd hurry.
I'm getting worried.

1491
01:25:55,125 --> 01:25:57,002
What are you worried about?

1492
01:25:57,085 --> 01:25:58,462
I don't know.

1493
01:25:58,587 --> 01:26:03,133
But with all this talent and no
place to put it, something's gotta give.

1494
01:26:03,217 --> 01:26:04,509
That's funny.

1495
01:26:04,593 --> 01:26:07,387
I could have sworn she
said just a few friends.

1496
01:26:07,471 --> 01:26:09,431
Sounds like a few dozen to me.

1497
01:26:09,514 --> 01:26:11,075
That's what I mean about this girl, Harve.

1498
01:26:11,099 --> 01:26:13,060
She's so concerned for my welfare.

1499
01:26:13,185 --> 01:26:15,896
Imagine going to all
this trouble and expense.

1500
01:26:16,021 --> 01:26:18,232
I just hope there's
some way I can repay her.

1501
01:26:18,315 --> 01:26:19,900
Well...

1502
01:26:22,861 --> 01:26:25,155
Hi!

1503
01:26:27,324 --> 01:26:30,410
Hey, where are the other
fellas? There's only two of you!

1504
01:26:31,411 --> 01:26:33,747
Hi! Come on in!

1505
01:26:35,457 --> 01:26:37,937
Oh, I'll grab the paintings,
and I'll meet you down in the car.

1506
01:26:49,013 --> 01:26:50,431
What is this?

1507
01:26:50,515 --> 01:26:52,558
Welcome to your party,
Mr. Milford.

1508
01:26:53,768 --> 01:26:57,188
I just thought you might enjoy
being surrounded by the, uh...

1509
01:26:57,272 --> 01:26:59,565
Things you love best.

1510
01:26:59,649 --> 01:27:02,443
Joan, I swear I was on my
way to clear up this whole mess.

1511
01:27:02,527 --> 01:27:04,028
You're a little bit late.

1512
01:27:04,112 --> 01:27:06,114
Well, what's a guy supposed to do?

1513
01:27:06,197 --> 01:27:08,408
A girl takes me to my own
apartment, tells me it's hers.

1514
01:27:08,491 --> 01:27:10,410
I couldn't get over the shock for a week!

1515
01:27:10,493 --> 01:27:13,496
That still leaves one
week unaccounted for!

1516
01:27:13,579 --> 01:27:16,541
You deliberately led me on
to humiliate me, and you have.

1517
01:27:16,624 --> 01:27:18,459
Goodbye.
Now listen.

1518
01:27:18,543 --> 01:27:20,461
Step aside, please.

1519
01:27:21,879 --> 01:27:23,548
Could we be alone, please?

1520
01:27:23,631 --> 01:27:26,175
Oh, sure.
What did you have in mind?

1521
01:27:26,968 --> 01:27:28,803
I meant Joan.

1522
01:27:28,886 --> 01:27:30,263
You stay right here, Audrey.

1523
01:27:31,639 --> 01:27:35,811
As far as being offended, I have as
much right to be offended as you do.

1524
01:27:35,894 --> 01:27:39,481
I knew what I was doing was
wrong, but my motives were good.

1525
01:27:39,565 --> 01:27:42,443
I met a man I liked
and I wanted to impress him.

1526
01:27:42,526 --> 01:27:44,611
But you lied to me
for your own evil purposes.

1527
01:27:45,821 --> 01:27:47,364
If I say I love you...

1528
01:27:50,075 --> 01:27:53,203
I suggest you scratch
this horse, Mr. Milford.

1529
01:27:53,287 --> 01:27:55,080
It's shy, nervous

1530
01:27:55,164 --> 01:27:57,374
and refuses to enter the starting gate.

1531
01:27:57,458 --> 01:27:59,168
Now, you're talking about lies.

1532
01:27:59,251 --> 01:28:01,462
How about your lies to me?

1533
01:28:01,545 --> 01:28:04,256
Didn't you tell me you were
a very good cook? Huh?

1534
01:28:04,340 --> 01:28:06,318
Well, you know darn well you
didn't cook that duck dinner.

1535
01:28:06,342 --> 01:28:07,509
I tried!

1536
01:28:07,593 --> 01:28:09,904
You take a duck, you put it
in the oven, you turn the oven on...

1537
01:28:09,928 --> 01:28:11,847
Can you hear what he's sayin'?

1538
01:28:11,930 --> 01:28:15,142
He sounds disappointed because
she didn't make him a duck dinner.

1539
01:28:15,225 --> 01:28:16,465
The whole thing burned up.

1540
01:28:16,518 --> 01:28:18,580
Drop a cigarette in it?
I've got ashtrays in my apartment.

1541
01:28:18,604 --> 01:28:21,440
What about the other one
that's playing cards on the bed?

1542
01:28:21,523 --> 01:28:22,649
You didn't cook it!

1543
01:28:22,816 --> 01:28:23,984
I didn't cook it!

1544
01:28:24,068 --> 01:28:25,778
I'm still workin' on the duck dinner.

1545
01:28:25,861 --> 01:28:28,132
You got a duck that tasted
that good from a delicatessen?

1546
01:28:28,156 --> 01:28:29,383
I have to leave!

1547
01:28:29,407 --> 01:28:30,658
Where are you taking them?

1548
01:28:32,285 --> 01:28:34,537
You can't...
Oh, you can't leave, Harve!

1549
01:28:34,621 --> 01:28:35,830
But I've got an appointment.

1550
01:28:35,914 --> 01:28:37,040
You don't have to leave us!

1551
01:28:37,123 --> 01:28:39,084
Yes, I...
You don't have to.

1552
01:28:39,167 --> 01:28:40,335
Yes, I have to go.

1553
01:28:40,418 --> 01:28:41,503
Where you going?

1554
01:28:49,010 --> 01:28:51,012
Uh, where you going, sir?
Home.

1555
01:28:51,096 --> 01:28:53,348
We have just one stop to
make first. Into the wagon.

1556
01:28:53,431 --> 01:28:54,808
What?
In the wagon.

1557
01:28:54,891 --> 01:28:56,810
But I don't know anything
about those people.

1558
01:28:56,893 --> 01:28:58,496
Now, you see,
I'm a responsible businessman.

1559
01:28:58,520 --> 01:28:59,747
I just came up here for my paintings.

1560
01:28:59,771 --> 01:29:01,481
Into the wagon.

1561
01:29:01,564 --> 01:29:04,442
Now please, Sarge. I've never
seen those people before in my life.

1562
01:29:04,526 --> 01:29:07,737
You see, my wife, Leona, she's
asking an awful lot of money.

1563
01:29:07,821 --> 01:29:10,582
And, uh... Well, anyway, I was
keeping my paintings up at Tom's place,

1564
01:29:10,615 --> 01:29:12,855
and I was staying at my place,
in my beautiful apartment.

1565
01:29:12,909 --> 01:29:15,453
Then he asked me to check
into the Plaza Hotel, which I did.

1566
01:29:15,537 --> 01:29:18,541
I was gonna call you fellas, but
this girl kept ordering martinis.

1567
01:29:18,624 --> 01:29:20,584
And then when my zipper
got stuck, you see...

1568
01:29:20,668 --> 01:29:21,961
In the wagon!

1569
01:29:22,044 --> 01:29:24,213
Oh, all right.
I'll get in the...

1570
01:29:24,296 --> 01:29:26,173
Just push a little bit.
Thank you.

1571
01:29:26,257 --> 01:29:28,217
Stop! Will you...
Come on outta here.

1572
01:29:28,300 --> 01:29:30,553
I'll have you broken for this, you goon!

1573
01:29:30,636 --> 01:29:33,514
But I told you, I'm a secretary at the UN.

1574
01:29:33,597 --> 01:29:36,892
Wait till my old man
gets a hold of that Milford.

1575
01:29:38,853 --> 01:29:40,646
Why don't you believe me?

1576
01:29:40,729 --> 01:29:43,732
Officer, you don't
understand. It was all a joke.

1577
01:29:43,816 --> 01:29:46,068
I mean, it was my idea.

1578
01:29:46,152 --> 01:29:48,070
Look, I don't even know these girls.

1579
01:29:48,154 --> 01:29:50,364
Sure, girlie. Nobody
knows nobody around here.

1580
01:29:50,448 --> 01:29:53,260
You all just happened to be standing
up there waiting for a trolley car.

1581
01:29:53,284 --> 01:29:54,618
In the van!

1582
01:29:55,995 --> 01:29:58,038
Officer, look, I can
explain this whole thing.

1583
01:29:58,122 --> 01:29:59,599
You see, I know all
these people. I live here.

1584
01:29:59,623 --> 01:30:01,167
They're all friends
of mine. Uh-huh.

1585
01:30:01,250 --> 01:30:03,586
Look, I never even got a
traffic ticket in my whole life.

1586
01:30:03,669 --> 01:30:05,212
Uh-huh. Maybe
somebody can help me.

1587
01:30:05,296 --> 01:30:06,797
Officer, let me explain it to you.

1588
01:30:06,964 --> 01:30:08,524
The whole thing is
just a gag. It was...

1589
01:30:08,591 --> 01:30:12,262
You again. You know, I didn't
recognize you with your pants on.

1590
01:30:13,722 --> 01:30:15,932
Yes, sir.
I'll go quietly.

1591
01:30:30,697 --> 01:30:33,617
Lovely evening to get arrested, isn't it?

1592
01:30:35,368 --> 01:30:38,371
You know, if you like the apartment,

1593
01:30:38,455 --> 01:30:41,541
I have no objections to you
using it on a more permanent basis.

1594
01:30:43,001 --> 01:30:45,003
That is, uh,

1595
01:30:45,086 --> 01:30:47,631
if you'd like to use the Milford name

1596
01:30:47,714 --> 01:30:49,299
on a more permanent basis.

1597
01:30:50,383 --> 01:30:52,636
Pay attention.
That's a proposal.

1598
01:30:54,137 --> 01:30:57,140
Oh, and you don't have to worry
about tossing away those paintings,

1599
01:30:57,224 --> 01:30:58,558
because they belong to Harve.

1600
01:31:01,854 --> 01:31:05,274
Are these magnificent
paintings really yours?

1601
01:31:05,358 --> 01:31:07,568
Well, yes.
I... I think so. I...

1602
01:31:07,652 --> 01:31:11,030
Oh, well, I was only saying the other day

1603
01:31:11,113 --> 01:31:13,324
that whoever owns these paintings

1604
01:31:13,407 --> 01:31:17,036
must be a man of great
taste and refinement.

1605
01:31:17,119 --> 01:31:18,829
Oh, really?

1606
01:31:18,913 --> 01:31:20,831
Well

1607
01:31:22,500 --> 01:31:24,210
So I'm passing the police station

1608
01:31:24,293 --> 01:31:27,213
and these two vans pull up and unload

1609
01:31:27,296 --> 01:31:30,049
the biggest bunch of night
fliers you've ever seen.

1610
01:31:30,132 --> 01:31:33,010
And who do you think is right
smack in the middle of them?

1611
01:31:33,094 --> 01:31:35,513
Your friend, Little Miss Muffet.

1612
01:31:35,596 --> 01:31:37,932
How about that?
How about that?

1613
01:31:38,015 --> 01:31:39,934
Oh, it's like I always said.

1614
01:31:40,017 --> 01:31:41,936
The city is a jungle.

1615
01:31:42,019 --> 01:31:44,105
Crawling with vice, it is.

1616
01:31:44,188 --> 01:31:46,357
Why, only this week, mind you,

1617
01:31:46,440 --> 01:31:50,027
a mere wisp of a child with the
bloom of innocence still on her cheeks

1618
01:31:50,111 --> 01:31:51,279
comes into the place.

1619
01:31:51,362 --> 01:31:52,697
And would you believe it?

1620
01:31:52,780 --> 01:31:54,533
Some dirty dog of a scoundrel,

1621
01:31:54,616 --> 01:31:57,411
some mean, low-down, cheap, conniving,

1622
01:31:57,578 --> 01:32:00,122
two-faced, lecherous snake in the grass...

1623
01:32:00,205 --> 01:32:01,498
Why...

1624
01:32:06,295 --> 01:32:07,754
I'll take care of 'em.

1625
01:32:07,838 --> 01:32:09,631
You listened last time.
It's my turn.

1626
01:32:09,715 --> 01:32:11,300
You always wanna keep the good ones.

1627
01:32:11,383 --> 01:32:14,678
Okay, okay. We'll
both take care of 'em.

1628
01:32:24,479 --> 01:32:26,565
You and your English tailoring.

1629
01:32:28,442 --> 01:32:29,818
Tom!

1630
01:32:31,069 --> 01:32:32,779
Honey?

1631
01:32:32,863 --> 01:32:34,906
Are you all right?

1632
01:32:35,949 --> 01:32:37,618
Well, Tom...

1633
01:32:43,123 --> 01:32:44,708
You know somethin', Charlie?

1634
01:32:44,791 --> 01:32:48,046
When you got her around,
you don't need television.

1635
01:32:49,305 --> 01:33:49,505
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