1
00:00:04,202 --> 00:00:05,878
It's amazing
people keep coming
2
00:00:05,879 --> 00:00:07,278
to comic book stores
3
00:00:07,280 --> 00:00:10,413
instead of just downloading
comics digitally.
4
00:00:10,415 --> 00:00:11,913
It's probably for the best.
5
00:00:11,915 --> 00:00:13,980
For a lot of these guys,
the weekly trip here
6
00:00:13,982 --> 00:00:16,080
is the only chance
their mom has to go down
7
00:00:16,082 --> 00:00:18,047
to the basement
and change their sheets.
8
00:00:19,148 --> 00:00:22,847
Oh, that reminds me,
I get fresh sheets tonight. Yay.
9
00:00:24,949 --> 00:00:26,515
Well?
10
00:00:26,517 --> 00:00:28,415
What do you think
of New Comic Book Night?
11
00:00:28,417 --> 00:00:30,916
Magic, huh?
12
00:00:30,918 --> 00:00:32,817
Sheldon, I'm disappointed.
13
00:00:32,819 --> 00:00:34,018
As a brilliant man,
14
00:00:34,020 --> 00:00:35,152
you're entitled to a vice.
15
00:00:35,154 --> 00:00:36,820
I could understand
frequenting an opium den
16
00:00:36,822 --> 00:00:39,156
or hunting your fellow man
for sport.
17
00:00:40,258 --> 00:00:43,725
But this? Lame-o.
18
00:00:44,627 --> 00:00:46,860
Well, A) Comic books
employ storytelling
19
00:00:46,862 --> 00:00:48,128
through sequential art,
20
00:00:48,130 --> 00:00:50,263
an medium that dates back
17,000 years
21
00:00:50,265 --> 00:00:52,231
to the cave paintings
of Lascaux,
22
00:00:52,233 --> 00:00:54,533
and B) You play the harp.
23
00:00:54,535 --> 00:00:56,067
Like that's cool.
24
00:00:59,237 --> 00:01:01,604
Can I help you
find anything?
25
00:01:01,606 --> 00:01:03,705
A comic that depicts
a woman whose bosom
26
00:01:03,707 --> 00:01:05,907
can't be used
as a flotation device.
27
00:01:06,709 --> 00:01:08,209
Sorry. Most of the guys
28
00:01:08,211 --> 00:01:10,411
who come in here
like big boobs.
29
00:01:10,413 --> 00:01:12,679
Couple of them
have big boobs.
30
00:01:14,015 --> 00:01:15,215
Hey, look, the new
31
00:01:15,217 --> 00:01:17,316
Warlords of Ka'a
expansion pack is out.
32
00:01:17,318 --> 00:01:19,484
A new one?
Unbelievable.
33
00:01:19,486 --> 00:01:21,786
They just keep making up
more cheesy monsters,
34
00:01:21,788 --> 00:01:25,189
slapping them on cards and
selling them at 25 bucks a pop.
35
00:01:25,191 --> 00:01:28,924
It's like a secret tax
on guys who can't get laid.
36
00:01:29,825 --> 00:01:30,992
They're not even trying.
37
00:01:30,994 --> 00:01:33,194
Remember the Satanimals pack
with the Hellephant?
38
00:01:33,196 --> 00:01:34,528
Why, absurd.
39
00:01:34,530 --> 00:01:36,963
What was he, a bad elephant
who died and went to hell?
40
00:01:36,965 --> 00:01:38,397
What could
an elephant
41
00:01:38,399 --> 00:01:41,732
possibly do that would cause him
eternal damnation?
42
00:01:41,734 --> 00:01:43,433
"Wild West and Witches"?
43
00:01:43,435 --> 00:01:46,535
What kind of loser cares
about a showdown
44
00:01:46,537 --> 00:01:50,471
between Billy the Kid and
the White Wizard of the North?
45
00:01:50,473 --> 00:01:51,973
A total loser.
46
00:01:51,975 --> 00:01:54,008
Obviously,
a guy with a six-shooter
47
00:01:54,010 --> 00:01:56,043
beats an old man
with a magic wand.
48
00:01:57,579 --> 00:01:59,312
Well, h-hold on.
49
00:02:00,381 --> 00:02:02,182
Uh, what if the wizard casts
50
00:02:02,184 --> 00:02:05,451
a Helmet of Confusion spell
on Billy the Kid's cowboy hat?
51
00:02:05,453 --> 00:02:06,852
What? Please!
52
00:02:06,854 --> 00:02:08,520
This is Billy the Kid
we're talking about.
53
00:02:08,522 --> 00:02:10,554
I mean, the wizard
would get shot between the eyes
54
00:02:10,556 --> 00:02:12,155
before he could ever
get out the words,
55
00:02:12,157 --> 00:02:13,857
"What the hell
is Billy the Kid doing
56
00:02:13,859 --> 00:02:16,225
in the mystic realm of Ka'a?"
57
00:02:16,227 --> 00:02:18,027
Leonard...
58
00:02:18,029 --> 00:02:21,096
What's the deal
with Sheldon's friend Amy?
59
00:02:21,098 --> 00:02:22,263
Are they a couple?
60
00:02:22,265 --> 00:02:24,598
Couple of weirdos. Why?
61
00:02:24,600 --> 00:02:26,433
You interested in Amy?
62
00:02:26,435 --> 00:02:29,134
Well, I mean,
she didn't look through me
63
00:02:29,136 --> 00:02:30,969
with soul-sucking,
ball-shriveling
64
00:02:30,971 --> 00:02:33,571
hatred and contempt.
65
00:02:33,573 --> 00:02:35,607
I like that in a woman.
66
00:02:36,675 --> 00:02:38,943
Could you run it by Sheldon
if I could ask her out?
67
00:02:38,945 --> 00:02:40,378
Sure. I guess.
68
00:02:40,380 --> 00:02:42,079
Stuart, settle an
argument for us.
69
00:02:42,081 --> 00:02:43,579
Who would win,
70
00:02:43,581 --> 00:02:45,915
Billy the Kid
or the White Wizard?
71
00:02:45,917 --> 00:02:47,883
If I tell you that,
72
00:02:47,885 --> 00:02:51,119
I'm robbing you of the hours
of fun you could have
73
00:02:51,121 --> 00:02:56,591
for the magical, rootin'-tootin'
low price of $24.95.
74
00:02:57,426 --> 00:02:58,926
I'll take one.
75
00:02:58,928 --> 00:03:00,361
Mm... make it two.
76
00:03:00,363 --> 00:03:03,264
I hate all of you and myself.
Three.
77
00:03:04,299 --> 00:03:06,266
I'll ring it up.
78
00:03:06,268 --> 00:03:09,036
Like shooting nerds in a barrel.
79
00:03:10,105 --> 00:03:13,707
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
80
00:03:13,709 --> 00:03:17,044
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
81
00:03:17,046 --> 00:03:18,678
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
82
00:03:18,680 --> 00:03:21,214
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
83
00:03:21,216 --> 00:03:23,883
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
84
00:03:23,885 --> 00:03:26,552
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
85
00:03:26,554 --> 00:03:28,454
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
86
00:03:28,456 --> 00:03:30,423
♪ Bang! ♪
87
00:03:35,284 --> 00:03:36,972
Hey, can I talk to
you about something?
88
00:03:36,973 --> 00:03:39,607
It's a little
awkward.
89
00:03:39,609 --> 00:03:41,743
I know what this is about.
90
00:03:41,745 --> 00:03:44,313
Given the professional
standstill you're at,
91
00:03:44,315 --> 00:03:47,115
you're wondering
if this is the appropriate time
92
00:03:47,117 --> 00:03:50,452
to abandon your research
and focus on teaching.
93
00:03:53,156 --> 00:03:55,424
Yes.
94
00:03:57,261 --> 00:03:59,029
And if I may suggest,
95
00:03:59,031 --> 00:04:00,597
consider changing disciplines.
96
00:04:00,599 --> 00:04:02,833
Yeah, to the humanities--
perhaps history.
97
00:04:02,835 --> 00:04:05,269
One of the advantages
of teaching history
98
00:04:05,271 --> 00:04:08,039
is that you don't have
to create things.
99
00:04:08,041 --> 00:04:10,141
You know, you just
have to remember
100
00:04:10,143 --> 00:04:12,977
stuff that happened
and then parrot it back.
101
00:04:12,979 --> 00:04:15,614
You could have fun with that.
102
00:04:16,449 --> 00:04:18,216
Yeah, that's not it.
103
00:04:18,218 --> 00:04:20,685
Stuart's kind of
interested in Amy.
104
00:04:20,687 --> 00:04:23,087
Oh, of course he is.
She's very interesting.
105
00:04:23,089 --> 00:04:25,190
Did you know,
when she was 14,
106
00:04:25,192 --> 00:04:28,159
she severed the webbing
between her own toes?
107
00:04:29,562 --> 00:04:32,063
No.
108
00:04:32,065 --> 00:04:34,031
He wanted me to find out
109
00:04:34,033 --> 00:04:37,368
if you'd have a problem
with him asking her out.
110
00:04:38,971 --> 00:04:42,139
I'm not sure how to respond,
Leonard.
111
00:04:42,141 --> 00:04:44,375
I don't own Amy.
112
00:04:44,377 --> 00:04:47,011
Can't own a person.
113
00:04:47,013 --> 00:04:49,880
At least not since...
114
00:04:53,819 --> 00:04:56,188
1863.
115
00:04:57,724 --> 00:05:00,392
President Lincoln freed the...
116
00:05:01,561 --> 00:05:04,196
Slaves!
Come on, Leonard,
117
00:05:04,198 --> 00:05:05,530
if you're going
to teach history,
118
00:05:05,532 --> 00:05:07,966
these are the kind of facts
you'll have to know.
119
00:05:07,968 --> 00:05:09,601
You know what?
Never mind.
120
00:05:09,603 --> 00:05:12,137
I'm going to tell him
it's okay to ask her out.
121
00:05:12,139 --> 00:05:13,438
The question is moot.
122
00:05:13,440 --> 00:05:15,273
There is no way that Stuart,
123
00:05:15,275 --> 00:05:17,409
an impoverished peddler
of picture books,
124
00:05:17,411 --> 00:05:20,145
would be at all appealing
to Amy Farrah Fowler,
125
00:05:20,147 --> 00:05:22,213
a noted neurobiologist
126
00:05:22,215 --> 00:05:24,982
capable of performing surgery
on her own feet
127
00:05:24,984 --> 00:05:26,651
with nothing but nitrous oxide
128
00:05:26,653 --> 00:05:29,487
from cans of whipped cream
as anesthesia.
129
00:05:30,355 --> 00:05:32,490
All right,
but for the record,
130
00:05:32,492 --> 00:05:35,326
I checked in with you
to see how you'd feel about it.
131
00:05:35,328 --> 00:05:37,862
Fine.
The record shall so reflect.
132
00:05:37,864 --> 00:05:40,531
Now, getting back
to the problem at hand,
133
00:05:40,533 --> 00:05:44,035
what to do with a washed-up
experimental physicist...
134
00:05:45,937 --> 00:05:48,038
I am not washed-up.
135
00:05:48,040 --> 00:05:49,974
Oh, Leonard.
136
00:05:49,976 --> 00:05:53,310
Lots of people love you
and want to help you,
137
00:05:53,312 --> 00:05:56,614
but they can't
until you admit the problem.
138
00:05:59,217 --> 00:06:02,053
Well, ladies,
we killed the bottle.
139
00:06:02,055 --> 00:06:03,354
I had half a glass.
140
00:06:03,356 --> 00:06:04,956
I didn't have any.
141
00:06:04,958 --> 00:06:06,992
Okay, don't judge me.
142
00:06:08,295 --> 00:06:09,929
So, what do you want to do--
143
00:06:09,931 --> 00:06:13,332
go to the movies, go dancing,
lay down for a little bit?
144
00:06:14,767 --> 00:06:18,671
Or we play... Travel Twister.
145
00:06:19,539 --> 00:06:21,874
Amy, really? Twister?
146
00:06:21,876 --> 00:06:23,309
Excuse me.
I've passed many
147
00:06:23,311 --> 00:06:24,943
an enjoyable evening
playing this game.
148
00:06:24,945 --> 00:06:26,745
And I'm sure it's
a lot more exciting
149
00:06:26,747 --> 00:06:28,947
when you play with other people.
150
00:06:30,250 --> 00:06:32,551
What do you say, bestie?
We can do shirts and skins.
151
00:06:32,553 --> 00:06:34,019
I'm shirts. Called it.
152
00:06:37,456 --> 00:06:39,090
I'm too small
for Twister.
153
00:06:39,092 --> 00:06:40,391
And roller coasters.
154
00:06:40,393 --> 00:06:43,160
And sitting with my
feet on the floor.
155
00:06:44,162 --> 00:06:47,664
Hope you enjoyed the
prenatal cigarettes, Mom.
156
00:06:50,301 --> 00:06:51,868
Hey, you know, my mom smoked pot
157
00:06:51,870 --> 00:06:54,704
when she was pregnant with me,
and I turned out just fine.
158
00:06:54,706 --> 00:06:56,072
Hey, look, I have
peach schnapps.
159
00:06:56,074 --> 00:06:57,841
Thank God.
160
00:06:58,676 --> 00:07:00,443
Guys, something happened.
161
00:07:00,445 --> 00:07:01,478
What's wrong?
162
00:07:01,480 --> 00:07:03,881
I think a boy
likes me.
163
00:07:05,116 --> 00:07:06,616
"Hi. It's Stuart.
164
00:07:06,618 --> 00:07:08,719
"We met at the
comic book store.
165
00:07:08,721 --> 00:07:09,954
"I was wondering
if you'd like
166
00:07:09,956 --> 00:07:10,988
"to get coffee sometime.
167
00:07:10,990 --> 00:07:12,390
"It's okay
if you say no.
168
00:07:12,392 --> 00:07:14,592
"It might be the kick
in the pants I need
169
00:07:14,594 --> 00:07:16,861
to start taking Zoloft."
170
00:07:18,364 --> 00:07:20,032
Amy, little vixen.
171
00:07:20,034 --> 00:07:23,502
Just working it under all those
layers of wool and polyester.
172
00:07:24,371 --> 00:07:26,339
What are you going to do?
173
00:07:26,341 --> 00:07:27,874
Doesn't he know
you have a boyfriend?
174
00:07:27,876 --> 00:07:29,476
Oh, she doesn't
have a boyfriend;
175
00:07:29,478 --> 00:07:31,311
she has a Sheldon.
176
00:07:31,313 --> 00:07:33,480
So do you
like Stuart?
177
00:07:33,482 --> 00:07:34,848
I don't know.
178
00:07:34,850 --> 00:07:36,149
He's nice.
179
00:07:36,151 --> 00:07:37,250
He's funny.
180
00:07:37,252 --> 00:07:38,852
He has the sallow,
drawn countenance
181
00:07:38,854 --> 00:07:40,854
associated with an overactive
thyroid gland.
182
00:07:40,856 --> 00:07:42,722
That's kind of hot.
183
00:07:43,557 --> 00:07:45,558
Okay, look, sweetie,
we all love Sheldon,
184
00:07:45,560 --> 00:07:47,559
but you've been with him
over a year now.
185
00:07:47,561 --> 00:07:48,627
If it's not going anywhere,
186
00:07:48,629 --> 00:07:50,062
what does it hurt
to look around?
187
00:07:50,064 --> 00:07:51,830
Well, yeah, I guess
they're not engaged
188
00:07:51,832 --> 00:07:53,598
like me and Howie.
189
00:07:53,600 --> 00:07:54,666
Yeah, for what it's worth,
190
00:07:54,668 --> 00:07:56,001
engaged people
can look around, too.
191
00:07:56,003 --> 00:07:57,335
Lot of options out there.
192
00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:05,074
Watch Online Movies and Series for FREE
www.osdb.link/lm
193
00:08:06,913 --> 00:08:08,447
Where's Stuart?
194
00:08:09,649 --> 00:08:11,315
Out.
195
00:08:12,651 --> 00:08:13,951
Who are you?
196
00:08:13,953 --> 00:08:15,119
I'm Dale.
197
00:08:15,121 --> 00:08:17,321
He left me in charge.
198
00:08:19,158 --> 00:08:20,591
Really?
199
00:08:20,593 --> 00:08:21,960
Yeah.
200
00:08:21,962 --> 00:08:24,128
I don't get it, either.
201
00:08:27,232 --> 00:08:30,534
I want to return
this "Wild West and Witches"
202
00:08:30,536 --> 00:08:32,269
Ka'a expansion pack.
203
00:08:32,271 --> 00:08:34,138
Sorry. I don't do returns.
204
00:08:34,140 --> 00:08:36,341
They're hard.
205
00:08:37,209 --> 00:08:39,111
Sure, sure.
206
00:08:40,080 --> 00:08:41,747
Uh, when will
Stuart be back?
207
00:08:41,749 --> 00:08:43,616
I don't know.
He went out for coffee.
208
00:08:43,618 --> 00:08:44,918
With a girl.
209
00:08:47,656 --> 00:08:49,990
Oh, I guess I was wrong.
210
00:08:50,825 --> 00:08:52,326
You okay?
211
00:08:53,161 --> 00:08:54,628
Am I okay?
212
00:08:54,630 --> 00:08:56,897
Leonard,
I'm on a lifelong trajectory
213
00:08:56,899 --> 00:08:59,967
that includes a Nobel Prize
and cities named after me,
214
00:08:59,969 --> 00:09:01,368
all four
wisdom teeth
215
00:09:01,370 --> 00:09:03,637
fit comfortably in my mouth
without need of extraction,
216
00:09:03,639 --> 00:09:07,174
and my bowel movements run
like a German train schedule.
217
00:09:09,510 --> 00:09:11,711
Am I okay?
218
00:09:12,646 --> 00:09:14,213
I'm okay, too!
219
00:09:21,445 --> 00:09:24,414
Wild Bill Witchcock.
220
00:09:26,383 --> 00:09:29,319
A tribe of Abra-Comanches.
221
00:09:34,126 --> 00:09:36,494
Flaming Spittoon.
222
00:09:36,496 --> 00:09:37,896
And for the record,
223
00:09:37,898 --> 00:09:39,664
I'm very disappointed
in you cowpokes.
224
00:09:39,666 --> 00:09:41,633
We're playing
our inaugural round
225
00:09:41,635 --> 00:09:43,469
of "Wild West and Witches,"
226
00:09:43,471 --> 00:09:45,038
and I'm the only one
who bothered
227
00:09:45,040 --> 00:09:47,006
to dress for the occasion.
228
00:09:47,008 --> 00:09:48,775
Patooie.
229
00:09:49,810 --> 00:09:52,111
We're not wearing
cowboy hats, Sheldon.
230
00:09:52,113 --> 00:09:53,579
It looks ridiculous.
231
00:09:53,581 --> 00:09:57,849
And I suppose my boots and spurs
are ridiculous, too?
232
00:09:57,851 --> 00:10:00,285
- Yeah. - Very. - Incredibly so.
233
00:10:00,287 --> 00:10:03,922
Did it look ridiculous
when we got the Satanimals pack
234
00:10:03,924 --> 00:10:07,592
and I dressed up
as a Beelzebobcat?
235
00:10:07,594 --> 00:10:09,560
- Yeah. - Very. - Incredibly so.
236
00:10:11,096 --> 00:10:12,963
All right, fine.
Let's just play.
237
00:10:12,965 --> 00:10:14,632
We should go easy on him.
238
00:10:14,634 --> 00:10:16,434
Amy's out with Stuart tonight.
239
00:10:16,436 --> 00:10:17,702
Wait a minute.
240
00:10:17,704 --> 00:10:20,672
Are you telling me
that Sheldon's patented blend
241
00:10:20,674 --> 00:10:22,807
of condescension and no sex
242
00:10:22,809 --> 00:10:25,377
isn't enough
to hold on to a woman?
243
00:10:29,315 --> 00:10:30,348
Cluck, cluck, cluck.
244
00:10:30,350 --> 00:10:31,716
What are we,
ladies at a quilting bee?
245
00:10:31,718 --> 00:10:34,753
Or are we men
playing a fantasy card game
246
00:10:34,755 --> 00:10:37,555
set in a magical frontier town?
247
00:10:38,757 --> 00:10:40,658
Sorry.
248
00:10:40,660 --> 00:10:43,294
Creepy Tepee.
249
00:10:44,329 --> 00:10:46,863
Annie Ogly.
250
00:10:49,300 --> 00:10:52,035
Hocus Pocus Pocahontas.
251
00:10:52,037 --> 00:10:54,837
And may I point out
it is the three of you
252
00:10:54,839 --> 00:10:57,273
who are obsessed with
Stuart and Amy, not me.
253
00:10:57,275 --> 00:10:58,874
I think you need
to ask yourselves
254
00:10:58,876 --> 00:11:01,010
who's really being
ridiculous here.
255
00:11:09,385 --> 00:11:11,520
- It's you. - You are. - Totally you.
256
00:11:14,023 --> 00:11:15,256
Hey, guys, check it out.
257
00:11:15,258 --> 00:11:17,358
The deluxe limited edition
"Wild West and Witches"
258
00:11:17,360 --> 00:11:20,895
expansion pack in the signed
and numbered collector's tin.
259
00:11:20,897 --> 00:11:22,363
Come on, no!
260
00:11:22,365 --> 00:11:24,932
We just bought the regular pack.
261
00:11:24,934 --> 00:11:26,300
Ooh, a sheriff's badge.
262
00:11:28,070 --> 00:11:30,037
Yeah, it's also a wand.
263
00:11:31,841 --> 00:11:35,043
With a hologram? Nice!
264
00:11:35,045 --> 00:11:36,478
Hey, do you see this?
265
00:11:36,480 --> 00:11:39,114
I'm in the matrix, Leonard;
I see everything.
266
00:11:39,116 --> 00:11:41,049
You got to be
kidding me.
267
00:11:41,051 --> 00:11:43,151
You friended Stuart
on Facebook?
268
00:11:43,153 --> 00:11:45,020
I thought you didn't
like Facebook anymore.
269
00:11:45,022 --> 00:11:46,455
Don't be silly.
270
00:11:46,457 --> 00:11:49,725
I'm a fan of anything that tries
to replace actual human contact.
271
00:11:49,727 --> 00:11:52,194
Please.
272
00:11:52,196 --> 00:11:54,731
You're looking at Facebook
to find out how their date went.
273
00:11:54,733 --> 00:11:56,099
Really?
274
00:11:56,101 --> 00:11:57,734
You think I care if a man, what,
275
00:11:57,736 --> 00:12:01,671
"shared a pumpkin latte
with a dynamite lady"?
276
00:12:01,673 --> 00:12:02,772
You're so full of it.
277
00:12:02,774 --> 00:12:04,207
You are free to believe
278
00:12:04,209 --> 00:12:06,342
whatever you like.
279
00:12:06,344 --> 00:12:09,646
And unfriend
Rajesh Koothrappali.
280
00:12:09,648 --> 00:12:11,214
You unfriended me? Seriously?
281
00:12:11,216 --> 00:12:12,516
Oh, yeah.
282
00:12:12,518 --> 00:12:14,418
Now he's gonna miss all
those great updates like,
283
00:12:14,420 --> 00:12:16,120
I can't believe
I waited this long
284
00:12:16,122 --> 00:12:18,222
to make my own "potpourri"
285
00:12:19,625 --> 00:12:21,226
Sheldon, why don't you
just acknowledge
286
00:12:21,228 --> 00:12:22,494
that you have feelings for Amy
287
00:12:22,496 --> 00:12:24,763
and you don't want her
going out with other men?
288
00:12:24,765 --> 00:12:28,533
And unfriend
Leonard Hofstadter.
289
00:12:28,535 --> 00:12:29,634
Here's a radical thought.
290
00:12:29,636 --> 00:12:32,003
Go old-school,
challenge Stuart to a fight.
291
00:12:32,005 --> 00:12:33,638
I mean, nothing makes
the ladies hotter
292
00:12:33,640 --> 00:12:35,540
than two skinny white guys
293
00:12:35,542 --> 00:12:37,942
swatting at each other
with their eyes closed.
294
00:12:40,345 --> 00:12:42,546
And unfriend Howard Wolowitz.
295
00:12:43,448 --> 00:12:44,414
That's all of us.
296
00:12:44,416 --> 00:12:46,316
- Can I use the laptop?
- Why?
297
00:12:46,318 --> 00:12:50,220
I have to buy that
stupid collector's tin.
298
00:12:51,322 --> 00:12:53,323
Who do we love?
Penny.
299
00:12:53,325 --> 00:12:54,825
Who do we love?
Penny.
300
00:12:54,827 --> 00:12:57,394
Who do we love?
Penny.
301
00:12:57,396 --> 00:12:59,129
Hello, Sheldon.
302
00:12:59,131 --> 00:13:00,364
Come on in.
303
00:13:00,366 --> 00:13:01,732
Thank you.
304
00:13:01,734 --> 00:13:03,534
What's up?
305
00:13:03,536 --> 00:13:07,337
I came to ask if you would like
to go on a date with me.
306
00:13:09,173 --> 00:13:11,241
I'm sorry, what?
307
00:13:11,243 --> 00:13:12,509
A date.
308
00:13:12,511 --> 00:13:13,677
You and me.
309
00:13:13,679 --> 00:13:15,279
Dining, dancing,
310
00:13:15,281 --> 00:13:18,316
perhaps you'd like to
take in a prizefight.
311
00:13:19,386 --> 00:13:22,254
God, are you trying
to make Amy jealous?
312
00:13:22,256 --> 00:13:23,455
No.
313
00:13:23,457 --> 00:13:26,458
Why is everyone so obsessed
with Amy and Stuart?
314
00:13:26,460 --> 00:13:28,793
Whether or not they may be
having more pumpkin lattes
315
00:13:28,795 --> 00:13:30,762
or intercourse tonight.
316
00:13:30,764 --> 00:13:33,397
Okay, listen to me.
317
00:13:33,399 --> 00:13:36,468
Playing games is not
gonna help get Amy back.
318
00:13:36,470 --> 00:13:38,603
I am not trying to get her back.
319
00:13:38,605 --> 00:13:41,906
But, out of curiosity,
what is a way?
320
00:13:41,908 --> 00:13:43,975
All right, honey,
let me tell you a story.
321
00:13:43,977 --> 00:13:47,145
There was a guy I liked,
and I never told him how I felt.
322
00:13:47,147 --> 00:13:49,313
Eventually, he started
going out with someone else,
323
00:13:49,315 --> 00:13:51,249
and I always regretted it.
324
00:13:51,251 --> 00:13:53,485
Do you see
where I'm going with this?
325
00:13:53,487 --> 00:13:55,120
I believe I do.
326
00:13:55,122 --> 00:13:56,355
Mm.
327
00:13:56,357 --> 00:13:58,491
I'm the guy.
328
00:14:01,695 --> 00:14:03,195
You're not the guy.
329
00:14:03,197 --> 00:14:05,131
Are you sure?
330
00:14:05,133 --> 00:14:06,932
That would explain so much.
331
00:14:06,934 --> 00:14:09,535
Your constant presence
in my apartment,
332
00:14:09,537 --> 00:14:12,338
that baffling dalliance
with Leonard just to be near me,
333
00:14:12,340 --> 00:14:13,573
the way you call me
334
00:14:13,575 --> 00:14:15,641
"sweetie" all the time.
335
00:14:15,643 --> 00:14:16,976
I call everyone "sweetie."
336
00:14:16,978 --> 00:14:17,876
You tramp.
337
00:14:21,180 --> 00:14:22,547
Look, Sheldon,
all I'm saying is
338
00:14:22,549 --> 00:14:24,649
strap on a pair
and go talk to Amy.
339
00:14:24,651 --> 00:14:26,685
"Strap on a pair"?
340
00:14:26,687 --> 00:14:29,522
Of what, skates?
341
00:14:31,158 --> 00:14:34,026
Oh, sweetie,
you are so not the guy.
342
00:14:40,835 --> 00:14:42,703
If you're bored,
you can go.
343
00:14:42,705 --> 00:14:45,339
I understand.
344
00:14:45,341 --> 00:14:48,009
No, I'm having a nice time.
345
00:14:48,978 --> 00:14:51,312
Don't patronize me.
346
00:14:53,181 --> 00:14:54,548
Excuse me. Excuse me.
347
00:14:54,550 --> 00:14:55,716
Pardon me.
348
00:14:56,652 --> 00:14:58,218
Pardon me. Excuse me.
349
00:14:58,220 --> 00:14:59,253
Hi, Stuart.
350
00:14:59,255 --> 00:15:00,053
Hi, Sheldon.
351
00:15:00,055 --> 00:15:02,089
Pardon me... Excuse me...
352
00:15:06,994 --> 00:15:09,062
Sheldon, what are
you doing here?
353
00:15:09,064 --> 00:15:11,866
The thought of you
sitting in a darkened theater
354
00:15:11,868 --> 00:15:15,236
with a character
like Stuart is repellent.
355
00:15:16,672 --> 00:15:18,507
No offense, Stuart.
356
00:15:18,509 --> 00:15:19,942
None taken.
357
00:15:19,944 --> 00:15:23,279
Although "repellent" is kind
of a... kind of a strong word.
358
00:15:27,118 --> 00:15:29,920
I'm sorry this causes
you discomfort,
359
00:15:29,922 --> 00:15:32,322
but based on the currently
established parameters
360
00:15:32,324 --> 00:15:34,325
of our relationship,
I can put myself
361
00:15:34,327 --> 00:15:36,127
in any repellent
situation I want.
362
00:15:36,129 --> 00:15:37,962
Um, again...
363
00:15:37,964 --> 00:15:40,298
Stuart, please.
You're being rude.
364
00:15:42,435 --> 00:15:44,870
Anything else?
365
00:15:44,872 --> 00:15:48,506
I believe I would
like to alter
366
00:15:48,508 --> 00:15:51,276
the paradigm
of our relationship.
367
00:15:53,112 --> 00:15:54,979
I'm listening.
368
00:15:54,981 --> 00:15:59,817
With the understanding
that nothing changes whatsoever,
369
00:15:59,819 --> 00:16:01,686
physical or otherwise,
370
00:16:01,688 --> 00:16:04,189
I would not object to us
371
00:16:04,191 --> 00:16:09,527
no longer characterizing you
as "not my girlfriend."
372
00:16:15,134 --> 00:16:17,501
Interesting.
373
00:16:17,503 --> 00:16:20,671
Now try it without the
quadruple negative.
374
00:16:20,673 --> 00:16:24,041
You're being impossible.
375
00:16:24,043 --> 00:16:26,243
Hi, Stuart.
376
00:16:28,146 --> 00:16:31,148
Fine.
377
00:16:31,150 --> 00:16:34,719
Amy...
378
00:16:34,721 --> 00:16:37,856
will you be my girlfriend?
379
00:16:44,231 --> 00:16:45,231
Yes.
380
00:16:45,233 --> 00:16:48,601
Well, that's enough
of that.
381
00:16:48,603 --> 00:16:50,103
Sorry to interrupt.
382
00:16:50,105 --> 00:16:52,005
You two enjoy your date.
383
00:16:52,007 --> 00:16:53,739
Here's a dollar
for your troubles.
384
00:16:53,741 --> 00:16:55,774
Get yourself
some Sour Patch Kids.
385
00:16:55,776 --> 00:16:57,643
Excuse me... Excuse me...
Pardon me...
386
00:16:57,645 --> 00:17:00,412
Excuse me.
Pardon me.
387
00:17:01,547 --> 00:17:05,450
So, other than you
taking your relationship
388
00:17:05,452 --> 00:17:09,687
to the next level with
another guy, this was nice.
389
00:17:11,457 --> 00:17:13,725
Yes, well, thanks for
seeing me to my door.
390
00:17:13,727 --> 00:17:15,093
Oh, you're welcome.
391
00:17:15,095 --> 00:17:18,930
Amy. Amy. Amy.
392
00:17:20,799 --> 00:17:24,236
Let's wrap things up out there.
393
00:17:27,306 --> 00:17:29,241
Um, good night, Stuart.
394
00:17:29,243 --> 00:17:30,241
Good night.
395
00:17:32,044 --> 00:17:33,712
Take the hint, Stuart.
396
00:17:33,714 --> 00:17:35,980
The lady said
"Good night."
397
00:17:39,385 --> 00:17:41,519
How did you get
into my apartment?
398
00:17:41,521 --> 00:17:44,155
Wow. Is that the kind
of nagging I can expect
399
00:17:44,157 --> 00:17:45,856
now that you're my girlfriend?
400
00:17:47,459 --> 00:17:49,861
Good thing I drew this up.
401
00:17:49,863 --> 00:17:51,395
What's that?
402
00:17:51,397 --> 00:17:55,465
I present to you
the relationship agreement.
403
00:17:59,036 --> 00:18:01,771
A binding covenant that,
in its 31 pages,
404
00:18:01,773 --> 00:18:03,940
enumerates, iterates
and codifies
405
00:18:03,942 --> 00:18:06,843
the rights and responsibilities
of Sheldon Lee Cooper,
406
00:18:06,845 --> 00:18:08,845
here and after known
as "the boyfriend,"
407
00:18:08,847 --> 00:18:14,384
and Amy Farrah Fowler, here and
after known as "the girlfriend"
408
00:18:16,054 --> 00:18:19,423
It's so romantic.
409
00:18:19,425 --> 00:18:21,459
Mutual indemnification
always is.
410
00:18:24,931 --> 00:18:29,300
Why don't you start perusing
while I set up my notary stamp.
411
00:18:29,302 --> 00:18:32,636
"Section 5:
Hand-holding.
412
00:18:32,638 --> 00:18:34,071
"Hand-holding
is only allowed
413
00:18:34,073 --> 00:18:35,706
"under the following
circumstances.
414
00:18:35,708 --> 00:18:38,508
"A: Either party is in danger
of falling off a cliff,
415
00:18:38,510 --> 00:18:40,210
"precipice or ledge;
416
00:18:40,212 --> 00:18:42,745
"B: Either party is deserving
of a hearty handshake
417
00:18:42,747 --> 00:18:45,348
"after winning
a Nobel Prize;
418
00:18:45,350 --> 00:18:48,618
C: Moral support
during flu shots
419
00:18:51,622 --> 00:18:53,123
Seems a bit
restrictive.
420
00:18:53,125 --> 00:18:55,125
Feel free to retain a lawyer.
421
00:19:04,578 --> 00:19:06,712
Penny, I said "right hand red."
422
00:19:06,714 --> 00:19:07,847
Yeah, I heard you.
423
00:19:07,849 --> 00:19:10,616
I got red.
424
00:19:10,618 --> 00:19:15,321
Bernadette, left
foot yellow.
425
00:19:16,758 --> 00:19:18,892
We should play limbo next.
426
00:19:18,894 --> 00:19:21,061
No one beats me at limbo.
427
00:19:22,130 --> 00:19:25,933
Penny. Amy. Bernadette.
428
00:19:28,104 --> 00:19:29,338
That's my boyfriend.
429
00:19:29,340 --> 00:19:30,705
It's open!
430
00:19:30,707 --> 00:19:33,274
I got a splinter.
431
00:19:33,276 --> 00:19:36,277
What do you want me
to do about it?
432
00:19:36,279 --> 00:19:39,414
Relationship agreement
Section 4: Boo-boos and Ouchies.
433
00:19:39,416 --> 00:19:41,115
You have to take care of it.
434
00:19:41,117 --> 00:19:43,317
I should've gotten a lawyer.
435
00:19:46,187 --> 00:19:48,922
Looks like it's just us playing.
436
00:19:54,929 --> 00:19:57,598
Penny?
437
00:19:59,834 --> 00:20:01,102
Penny, we're out of wine!
438
00:20:01,104 --> 00:20:02,404
You should probably drive.
438
00:20:03,305 --> 00:21:03,551
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