1
00:00:04,143 --> 00:00:07,154
Hi. Did Sheldon change
the Wi-Fi password again?

2
00:00:07,706 --> 00:00:09,915
Yeah, it's
"Penny already eats our food.

3
00:00:09,916 --> 00:00:12,517
She can pay for Wi-Fi."

4
00:00:13,271 --> 00:00:14,638
No spaces.

5
00:00:14,640 --> 00:00:15,939
Okay.

6
00:00:15,941 --> 00:00:17,741
If you can't get me
to stop eating your food,

7
00:00:17,743 --> 00:00:19,776
what makes you think you can
get me to stop using your Wi-Fi?

8
00:00:19,778 --> 00:00:22,112
I believe that you're capable
of great change.

9
00:00:22,114 --> 00:00:26,516
Like when I finally got you
to stop saying "Valentimes Day""

10
00:00:27,619 --> 00:00:28,759
You want to hear
something weird?

11
00:00:28,784 --> 00:00:29,587
Sure.

12
00:00:29,588 --> 00:00:31,321
In the year 2000,

13
00:00:31,323 --> 00:00:36,627
Pope John Paul II was named
an honorary Harlem Globetrotter.

14
00:00:38,429 --> 00:00:40,831
What are you talking about?

15
00:00:40,833 --> 00:00:43,967
You asked Penny if she wanted
to hear something weird.

16
00:00:43,969 --> 00:00:46,570
Yeah, because I have
something weird to tell her.

17
00:00:46,572 --> 00:00:48,005
Oh.

18
00:00:48,007 --> 00:00:50,240
I thought it was a game.

19
00:00:51,075 --> 00:00:52,843
What's yours?

20
00:00:52,845 --> 00:00:54,978
There's this guy,
Jimmy Speckerman,

21
00:00:54,980 --> 00:00:57,214
who used to torment me
in high school.

22
00:00:57,216 --> 00:00:59,182
He sent me a message
through Facebook.

23
00:00:59,184 --> 00:01:01,551
He's in town
and wants to have drinks.

24
00:01:01,553 --> 00:01:04,621
Okay, Penny, if it were a game,
here are your choices.

25
00:01:04,623 --> 00:01:06,323
An e-mail
from an old acquaintance,

26
00:01:06,325 --> 00:01:09,226
or the head of one of the
largest religious institutions

27
00:01:09,228 --> 00:01:12,996
in the world slam dunking
to "Sweet Georgia Brown." Pick.

28
00:01:15,867 --> 00:01:19,102
Just do it,
'cause he's not gonna let it go.

29
00:01:19,104 --> 00:01:20,370
Basketball Pope.

30
00:01:20,372 --> 00:01:22,439
And that's how it's done.

31
00:01:23,975 --> 00:01:25,809
What are you gonna do
about your bully?

32
00:01:25,811 --> 00:01:27,744
- Are you gonna see him?
- I don't know.

33
00:01:27,746 --> 00:01:31,114
Is this the fellow who peed
in your Hawaiian Punch?

34
00:01:31,116 --> 00:01:33,550
No, that was a different guy.

35
00:01:33,552 --> 00:01:35,986
Was he the one
who wedgied you so hard,

36
00:01:35,988 --> 00:01:37,254
your testicle reascended,

37
00:01:37,256 --> 00:01:39,022
and you spent
your whole Christmas break

38
00:01:39,024 --> 00:01:41,558
waiting for it
to come back down?

39
00:01:43,594 --> 00:01:46,830
No, that was
a different, different guy.

40
00:01:46,832 --> 00:01:50,834
Was he the one who used
your head to open a nut?

41
00:01:50,836 --> 00:01:52,903
No.

42
00:01:52,905 --> 00:01:54,604
Oh, oh, oh.

43
00:01:54,606 --> 00:01:57,774
Was he the one
who made you eat your arm hair?

44
00:01:58,843 --> 00:02:00,110
No, but, actually,

45
00:02:00,112 --> 00:02:01,912
that was this guy's sister.

46
00:02:01,914 --> 00:02:03,880
All right, well,
what do you think he wants?

47
00:02:03,882 --> 00:02:05,115
I don't know.

48
00:02:05,117 --> 00:02:07,184
You know, the holidays
are just around the corner.

49
00:02:07,186 --> 00:02:08,318
Maybe he wants to see

50
00:02:08,320 --> 00:02:10,187
if he can lodge
the other testicle up there.

51
00:02:10,189 --> 00:02:13,290
I told you.
That was a different guy.

52
00:02:13,292 --> 00:02:15,359
Hmm. That's too bad.
We could have spent

53
00:02:15,361 --> 00:02:18,195
New Year's Eve waiting
for the ball to drop.

54
00:02:25,136 --> 00:02:28,805
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪

55
00:02:28,807 --> 00:02:32,109
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪

56
00:02:32,111 --> 00:02:33,710
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪

57
00:02:33,712 --> 00:02:36,246
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪

58
00:02:36,248 --> 00:02:38,949
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ <i>We built the pyramids</i> ♪

59
00:02:38,951 --> 00:02:41,585
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪

60
00:02:41,587 --> 00:02:43,520
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪

61
00:02:43,522 --> 00:02:45,489
♪ <i>Bang!</i> ♪

62
00:02:52,540 --> 00:02:54,707
It's 2:00 a.m.
What are you doing up?

63
00:02:54,709 --> 00:02:59,712
Nobel Prize acceptance ceremony
streaming live from Stockholm.

64
00:02:59,714 --> 00:03:01,214
Sure. You want to see

65
00:03:01,216 --> 00:03:04,083
what all the scientists
are wearing this year.

66
00:03:04,085 --> 00:03:05,985
Look at these men.

67
00:03:05,987 --> 00:03:09,255
They've managed to win the top
science prize in the world

68
00:03:09,257 --> 00:03:12,091
with no more understanding
of the quantum underpinnings

69
00:03:12,093 --> 00:03:14,193
of the expansion
of the early universe

70
00:03:14,195 --> 00:03:16,262
than God gave a goose.

71
00:03:17,965 --> 00:03:19,098
You should pay attention,
Leonard.

72
00:03:19,100 --> 00:03:20,933
Someday this could be you
up there.

73
00:03:21,802 --> 00:03:23,336
Thanks.

74
00:03:23,338 --> 00:03:24,637
So,

75
00:03:24,639 --> 00:03:26,139
what's got you up?

76
00:03:26,141 --> 00:03:28,574
Did you have a bad clam?

77
00:03:28,576 --> 00:03:30,243
I didn't have clams.

78
00:03:30,245 --> 00:03:32,178
I don't watch you
24 hours a day.

79
00:03:32,180 --> 00:03:34,280
I don't know what you do.

80
00:03:34,282 --> 00:03:37,350
It's this Jimmy Speckerman
thing.

81
00:03:37,352 --> 00:03:40,319
I can't decide if I should
agree to see him or not.

82
00:03:40,321 --> 00:03:41,587
Of course that might be

83
00:03:41,589 --> 00:03:43,556
because the last time
I ran into him,

84
00:03:43,558 --> 00:03:46,225
he made me floss
with my own shoelaces.

85
00:03:46,227 --> 00:03:48,661
Wear loafers.

86
00:03:48,663 --> 00:03:52,198
Look at Dr. Saul
Perlmutter up there,

87
00:03:52,200 --> 00:03:54,400
clutching that Nobel Prize.

88
00:03:54,402 --> 00:03:55,635
What's the matter, Saul?

89
00:03:55,637 --> 00:03:57,270
You afraid someone's
going to steal it?

90
00:03:57,272 --> 00:03:59,839
Like you stole Einstein's
cosmological constant?

91
00:03:59,841 --> 00:04:02,041
You know what?

92
00:04:02,043 --> 00:04:04,844
I am tired of living
in fear of this guy.

93
00:04:04,846 --> 00:04:06,879
I'm gonna go see
him and finally say

94
00:04:06,881 --> 00:04:09,849
all the things I should
have said in high school.

95
00:04:09,851 --> 00:04:11,551
You know, "Pick on
someone your own size""

96
00:04:11,553 --> 00:04:15,388
"You did not have sex
with my mother."

97
00:04:15,390 --> 00:04:19,358
And "Yes, I do know why
I'm hitting myself."

98
00:04:19,360 --> 00:04:21,861
Oh, now Perlmutter's
shaking the king's hand.

99
00:04:21,863 --> 00:04:23,563
Yeah, check for your watch,
Gustaf.

100
00:04:23,565 --> 00:04:25,331
He might have lifted it.

101
00:04:27,367 --> 00:04:29,569
I love this dress.

102
00:04:29,571 --> 00:04:31,404
How come I never
see you wear it?

103
00:04:31,406 --> 00:04:33,573
'Cause when I wear it,
it's a shirt.

104
00:04:34,675 --> 00:04:37,477
So, what's Howard
doing tonight?

105
00:04:37,479 --> 00:04:40,580
Oh, they all went with Leonard
to confront his childhood bully.

106
00:04:40,582 --> 00:04:41,848
Oh, terrific.

107
00:04:41,850 --> 00:04:45,785
High school quarterback
against four mathletes.

108
00:04:45,787 --> 00:04:46,886
When Leonard gets back,

109
00:04:46,888 --> 00:04:48,421
I'd love to check
his serotonin levels.

110
00:04:48,423 --> 00:04:51,290
Do you think he'd let me draw
a syringe full of his blood?

111
00:04:51,292 --> 00:04:53,059
Hmm, he's not crazy
about needles,

112
00:04:53,061 --> 00:04:55,094
but if you get him to go
jogging,

113
00:04:55,096 --> 00:04:56,896
it'll just pour out of his nose.

114
00:04:57,865 --> 00:04:59,065
I don't think

115
00:04:59,067 --> 00:05:01,701
I can meet the girl
who was always mean to me.

116
00:05:01,703 --> 00:05:03,202
Tammy Bodnick.

117
00:05:03,204 --> 00:05:05,138
One time
while I was in gym class,

118
00:05:05,140 --> 00:05:06,239
she stole all my clothes

119
00:05:06,241 --> 00:05:09,075
and left an elf costume
in my locker.

120
00:05:09,077 --> 00:05:10,977
Oh, that's awful.

121
00:05:10,979 --> 00:05:14,180
Worst part was, it was too big.

122
00:05:15,449 --> 00:05:16,749
That's nothing.

123
00:05:16,751 --> 00:05:20,052
In ninth grade, the girls put
Rogaine in my hand lotion.

124
00:05:21,021 --> 00:05:23,289
Within six months, the
nicknames began to fly.

125
00:05:23,291 --> 00:05:26,793
I think the one that hurt the
most was Gorilla Fingers Fowler.

126
00:05:28,663 --> 00:05:31,063
Wow. You poor thing.

127
00:05:31,065 --> 00:05:33,065
What about you?
Oh.

128
00:05:33,067 --> 00:05:35,201
I don't know. I guess
my school was a nice place.

129
00:05:35,203 --> 00:05:36,369
We didn't really have bullies.

130
00:05:36,371 --> 00:05:39,205
Come on, no one ever
gave anyone mean nicknames

131
00:05:39,207 --> 00:05:41,841
or picked on them or put gum
in their hairy knuckles

132
00:05:41,843 --> 00:05:45,511
so the school nurse had to use
peanut butter to get it out?

133
00:05:45,513 --> 00:05:46,846
No, we weren't really like that.

134
00:05:46,848 --> 00:05:49,015
I mean, look, we played pranks
on each other,

135
00:05:49,017 --> 00:05:50,116
but it was never mean.

136
00:05:50,118 --> 00:05:51,617
Like, okay,
this one girl, Kathy Geiger,

137
00:05:51,619 --> 00:05:53,152
got really good grades,
so we blindfolded her,

138
00:05:53,154 --> 00:05:55,388
tied her up and left her
in a cornfield overnight.

139
00:05:57,891 --> 00:05:59,859
Oh, my God,
that's awful.

140
00:05:59,861 --> 00:06:02,428
No, it was funny.
Everyone laughed.

141
00:06:02,430 --> 00:06:04,730
Did Kathy
Geiger laugh?

142
00:06:04,732 --> 00:06:06,499
Uh, probably.
It's hard to say.

143
00:06:06,501 --> 00:06:09,435
She kind of had an ear
of corn in her mouth.

144
00:06:09,437 --> 00:06:11,671
Who would have thought

145
00:06:11,673 --> 00:06:15,641
Fuzzy Fingers Fowler
is best friends with a bully?

146
00:06:15,643 --> 00:06:18,311
What? I was not a bully.

147
00:06:18,313 --> 00:06:19,912
Kind of sounds like you were.

148
00:06:19,914 --> 00:06:22,348
And maybe a felon.

149
00:06:24,985 --> 00:06:27,353
Shh. That's how you
wind up in a cornfield.

150
00:06:32,459 --> 00:06:34,227
Is that him over there?

151
00:06:34,229 --> 00:06:35,661
No.

152
00:06:35,663 --> 00:06:37,630
How about that guy?

153
00:06:37,632 --> 00:06:39,966
He looks like he'd hate you.

154
00:06:39,968 --> 00:06:42,335
You know, I can really do this
by myself.

155
00:06:42,337 --> 00:06:43,970
Hey, we're here
to support you, buddy.

156
00:06:43,972 --> 00:06:45,571
No, you're not.
You're here to see

157
00:06:45,573 --> 00:06:47,640
if I get my underwear
pulled over my head.

158
00:06:47,642 --> 00:06:50,343
You wore underwear? You fool.

159
00:06:51,778 --> 00:06:53,913
So, have you figured out what
you're going to say to him?

160
00:06:53,915 --> 00:06:56,515
You bet. I am going to
make him apologize

161
00:06:56,517 --> 00:06:59,385
for all the crap
he pulled on me in school.

162
00:06:59,387 --> 00:07:01,287
That's quite a list.

163
00:07:01,289 --> 00:07:02,688
I can't read your handwriting.

164
00:07:02,690 --> 00:07:03,856
What's that word?

165
00:07:03,858 --> 00:07:05,324
"Scrotum."

166
00:07:05,326 --> 00:07:08,194
What's that one?

167
00:07:08,196 --> 00:07:10,463
Uh, "stapled."

168
00:07:11,865 --> 00:07:15,301
Leonard.

169
00:07:15,303 --> 00:07:17,970
Oh, hi.

170
00:07:17,972 --> 00:07:20,373
Holy crap, man,
it's good to see you.

171
00:07:20,375 --> 00:07:23,009
Yeah. You, too.
Uh, Jimmy, this is

172
00:07:23,011 --> 00:07:24,377
Sheldon and Raj and Howard.

173
00:07:24,379 --> 00:07:27,013
Hi. Fellas... Hey,
can I get a beer?

174
00:07:27,015 --> 00:07:28,848
Wow. Look at you.

175
00:07:28,850 --> 00:07:30,349
Little Leonard Hofstadter.

176
00:07:30,351 --> 00:07:32,218
I hear
you're a big-time scientist now.

177
00:07:32,220 --> 00:07:34,654
And there's the first
zinger. Ouch.

178
00:07:34,656 --> 00:07:37,323
I'm doing okay, I guess.

179
00:07:37,325 --> 00:07:39,525
Okay? Come on, I read online

180
00:07:39,527 --> 00:07:41,227
you're a physicist
at a university,

181
00:07:41,229 --> 00:07:42,361
you won some medal.

182
00:07:42,363 --> 00:07:44,063
The Newcomb medal.

183
00:07:44,065 --> 00:07:45,398
Yeah, congratulations.

184
00:07:45,400 --> 00:07:46,866
Congratulations?

185
00:07:46,868 --> 00:07:48,801
The Newcomb medal?
Oh, please.

186
00:07:48,803 --> 00:07:50,202
That's the scientific equivalent

187
00:07:50,204 --> 00:07:52,638
of a smiley face sticker
on your homework.

188
00:07:52,640 --> 00:07:55,141
From what I read,
it sounded like a big deal.

189
00:07:55,143 --> 00:07:57,543
Oh, good Lord,
are we going to stand here

190
00:07:57,545 --> 00:07:59,712
and listen to him
tear Leonard apart like this?

191
00:08:00,747 --> 00:08:02,648
Hey, I won a Newcomb medal, too.

192
00:08:02,650 --> 00:08:04,050
My point.

193
00:08:05,285 --> 00:08:07,119
You should have seen this guy
back in the day.

194
00:08:07,121 --> 00:08:10,022
Huh? He was so little, he could
fit in just about anywhere.

195
00:08:10,024 --> 00:08:12,124
Lockers, trash cans.

196
00:08:12,126 --> 00:08:15,328
Oh, man, how did you get
inside that backpack?

197
00:08:16,663 --> 00:08:18,464
Oh, I can't take all the credit.

198
00:08:18,466 --> 00:08:20,766
You helped a lot.
Yeah.

199
00:08:20,768 --> 00:08:22,668
We were practically
a comedy team.

200
00:08:22,670 --> 00:08:26,339
Like the Black Death
and Europe.

201
00:08:26,341 --> 00:08:30,209
Jimmy, I'm kind of curious why
you wanted to see me.

202
00:08:30,211 --> 00:08:32,078
Okay, here it is.

203
00:08:32,080 --> 00:08:33,546
I have this great
money-making idea.

204
00:08:33,548 --> 00:08:35,681
I just need a gear head
to get it to the finish line.

205
00:08:35,683 --> 00:08:37,350
Technically, Howard's the
gear head.

206
00:08:37,352 --> 00:08:40,386
Leonard's just a dime store
laser jockey.

207
00:08:40,388 --> 00:08:41,854
What's the idea?

208
00:08:41,856 --> 00:08:43,589
This is just between us, right?

209
00:08:43,591 --> 00:08:44,857
- Right.
- Okay.

210
00:08:44,859 --> 00:08:46,826
What do you think
about a pair of glasses

211
00:08:46,828 --> 00:08:49,261
that makes any movie
you want into 3D?

212
00:08:49,263 --> 00:08:50,629
That sounds amazing.

213
00:08:50,631 --> 00:08:54,600
First movie I'm
watching-- <i>Annie.</i>

214
00:08:55,736 --> 00:08:58,671
How exactly would
these glasses work?

215
00:08:58,673 --> 00:09:01,707
How the hell should I know?
That's why I need a nerd.

216
00:09:01,709 --> 00:09:05,544
I don't think something like
that's even possible.

217
00:09:05,546 --> 00:09:07,179
Aw, come on, you can
figure it out.

218
00:09:07,181 --> 00:09:08,881
You're like the smartest
guy I've ever known.

219
00:09:08,883 --> 00:09:10,116
The smartest...?!

220
00:09:10,118 --> 00:09:12,952
All right, you know,
I may not have

221
00:09:12,954 --> 00:09:17,089
a firm grasp on sarcasm, but
even I know that was a doozy.

222
00:09:18,325 --> 00:09:20,926
Leonard, you can't live in
fear of this man forever.

223
00:09:20,928 --> 00:09:22,495
Sheldon, I got this.

224
00:09:22,497 --> 00:09:24,030
You clearly don't.

225
00:09:24,032 --> 00:09:26,399
What my spineless friend
lacks the courage to say

226
00:09:26,401 --> 00:09:28,467
is you're a
terrible person

227
00:09:28,469 --> 00:09:29,735
who took advantage

228
00:09:29,737 --> 00:09:32,938
of his tiny size,
his uncoordinated nature

229
00:09:32,940 --> 00:09:35,041
and his congenital
lack of masculinity.

230
00:09:35,043 --> 00:09:36,075
Sheldon...

231
00:09:36,077 --> 00:09:37,910
Leonard, I platonically
love you, man,

232
00:09:37,912 --> 00:09:39,345
but face it, you're a mess.

233
00:09:41,281 --> 00:09:43,983
I don't understand.

234
00:09:43,985 --> 00:09:47,987
I think what he's trying to say
is that maybe in high school

235
00:09:47,989 --> 00:09:49,555
you picked on me a little bit.

236
00:09:49,557 --> 00:09:51,390
A little bit?

237
00:09:51,392 --> 00:09:54,493
The man Super Glued Hershey's
Kisses to your nipples.

238
00:09:56,730 --> 00:09:58,931
That's funny because those
aren't the kind of kisses

239
00:09:58,933 --> 00:10:00,433
you want on your nipples.

240
00:10:01,868 --> 00:10:03,135
What is that?

241
00:10:03,137 --> 00:10:06,238
This is a list of your heinous
acts against Leonard.

242
00:10:06,240 --> 00:10:08,808
One of which is certainly the
cause of him wetting his bed

243
00:10:08,810 --> 00:10:10,242
well into his teens.

244
00:10:11,278 --> 00:10:14,814
14 is not... Aw, never mind.

245
00:10:16,516 --> 00:10:19,018
What's this word?

246
00:10:19,020 --> 00:10:20,686
"Nancy."

247
00:10:21,521 --> 00:10:25,524
You called me Nancy
for three years.

248
00:10:26,593 --> 00:10:29,862
You really need to work
on your penmanship.

249
00:10:29,864 --> 00:10:32,965
Oh, man, I...

250
00:10:32,967 --> 00:10:35,334
I don't know what to say.

251
00:10:35,336 --> 00:10:37,470
I always thought we were
just having some fun.

252
00:10:37,472 --> 00:10:39,472
It wasn't fun for me.

253
00:10:40,373 --> 00:10:41,841
You're being too kind, Leonard.

254
00:10:41,843 --> 00:10:43,976
You ruined him.

255
00:10:44,911 --> 00:10:46,278
Come on, guys.

256
00:10:46,280 --> 00:10:48,481
That was pretty badass, dude.

257
00:10:48,483 --> 00:10:50,216
I help the weak.

258
00:10:50,218 --> 00:10:52,251
It's yet another way I'm
exactly like Batman.

259
00:10:52,253 --> 00:10:56,689
Hey, for the record, Jimmy
wasn't the reason I wet the bed.

260
00:10:56,691 --> 00:11:00,159
That one has my mother
written all over it.

261
00:11:05,208 --> 00:11:06,608
<i>Anyway, I'm really sorry</i>

262
00:11:06,610 --> 00:11:08,844
I made fun of your
stutter in high school.

263
00:11:08,846 --> 00:11:10,912
You're doing great.

264
00:11:10,914 --> 00:11:12,281
Uh-huh.

265
00:11:13,149 --> 00:11:14,449
Uh-huh.

266
00:11:14,451 --> 00:11:17,486
Oh, God, just
finish the sentence.

267
00:11:20,257 --> 00:11:23,760
Okay, well, I'm sorry
you feel that way. Bye.

268
00:11:23,762 --> 00:11:26,496
No one wants to hear
my apologies.

269
00:11:26,498 --> 00:11:28,498
I think your mistake is doing it
over the phone.

270
00:11:28,500 --> 00:11:31,167
If they could look
into your eyes, they'd melt.

271
00:11:33,203 --> 00:11:35,305
Penny, it doesn't matter
what you did in the past.

272
00:11:35,307 --> 00:11:36,973
You're a good person now.

273
00:11:36,975 --> 00:11:38,474
That's easy for you to say.

274
00:11:38,476 --> 00:11:41,611
You weren't just called
a "b-b-b-b-bitch."

275
00:11:41,613 --> 00:11:46,416
Perhaps you could assuage
your guilt through altruism.

276
00:11:48,919 --> 00:11:51,688
Which word's tripping you up?

277
00:11:51,690 --> 00:11:54,290
"Assuage," or "altruism"?

278
00:11:54,292 --> 00:11:57,026
Both.

279
00:11:58,262 --> 00:12:00,997
You'll feel better by doing
something nice for someone.

280
00:12:00,999 --> 00:12:03,599
- I actually knew that.
- I never doubted you.

281
00:12:04,935 --> 00:12:07,804
Every other week I serve at
a soup kitchen downtown.

282
00:12:07,806 --> 00:12:10,039
Ooh, I can't do that.

283
00:12:10,041 --> 00:12:13,009
If I stand over a steaming pot,
my hair just goes boing!

284
00:12:14,345 --> 00:12:15,812
What else could I do?

285
00:12:15,814 --> 00:12:18,681
There's Habitat for Humanity--
building houses for the poor.

286
00:12:18,683 --> 00:12:20,683
Okay, come on, I don't even
have my own house--

287
00:12:20,685 --> 00:12:22,118
I'm going to build one
for someone else?

288
00:12:22,120 --> 00:12:25,588
How about donating
some of your clothes?

289
00:12:25,590 --> 00:12:29,525
Oh, my God, that's perfect.
'Cause I have so many clothes

290
00:12:29,527 --> 00:12:31,027
I don't wear, and they're
just taking up space,

291
00:12:31,029 --> 00:12:34,030
and I go shopping to buy more stuff
and I have no place to put it.

292
00:12:34,032 --> 00:12:35,298
This will totally fix that.

293
00:12:35,300 --> 00:12:36,866
What about helping people?

294
00:12:36,868 --> 00:12:39,268
And helping people.

295
00:12:40,571 --> 00:12:43,172
Here's your cocoa.

296
00:12:43,174 --> 00:12:45,775
- Oh, half and half instead of whole milk?
- Yes.

297
00:12:45,777 --> 00:12:48,177
- Heated to precisely 183 degrees?
- Yes.

298
00:12:48,179 --> 00:12:50,079
Seven little marshmallows,
no more no less?

299
00:12:50,081 --> 00:12:52,382
You got one for good luck.

300
00:12:53,484 --> 00:12:54,884
I'll get it.

301
00:12:54,886 --> 00:12:57,353
One for good luck.

302
00:12:57,355 --> 00:13:00,056
Must be the kind of math
they do at Princeton.

303
00:13:03,460 --> 00:13:05,328
Hey.

304
00:13:05,330 --> 00:13:06,763
What are you doing here?

305
00:13:06,765 --> 00:13:10,933
I want to apologize for...
stapling your balls and...

306
00:13:12,136 --> 00:13:15,304
...throwing you naked
in the girls' locker room,

307
00:13:15,306 --> 00:13:17,206
stuffing that parrot
down your pants.

308
00:13:19,009 --> 00:13:20,143
What's this word?

309
00:13:20,844 --> 00:13:24,113
- "Laxative."
- Oh, right.

310
00:13:24,115 --> 00:13:26,883
Junior prom.

311
00:13:26,885 --> 00:13:30,019
That was not cool, man.

312
00:13:30,021 --> 00:13:32,388
I am so, so sorry.

313
00:13:32,390 --> 00:13:33,756
Really?

314
00:13:33,758 --> 00:13:37,293
Yeah. I just hope
you can forgive me.

315
00:13:37,295 --> 00:13:38,461
Uh...

316
00:13:38,463 --> 00:13:39,962
Yeah.

317
00:13:39,964 --> 00:13:41,063
Sure, I guess.

318
00:13:41,065 --> 00:13:44,367
You're a beautiful guy.

319
00:13:44,369 --> 00:13:46,369
Well, thanks, Jimmy.

320
00:13:46,371 --> 00:13:47,737
Okay, I got to go.

321
00:13:47,739 --> 00:13:49,872
Are you okay to drive?

322
00:13:49,874 --> 00:13:52,074
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I drive better drunk.

323
00:13:52,076 --> 00:13:54,744
You know, it makes
you pay attention.

324
00:13:56,747 --> 00:13:59,148
No, no, no, come on in.
I'll make you a cup of coffee.

325
00:13:59,150 --> 00:14:00,850
- I wouldn't be imposing?
- No.

326
00:14:00,852 --> 00:14:03,052
Yes.

327
00:14:03,054 --> 00:14:06,322
Sheldon, we can't
let him drive.

328
00:14:06,324 --> 00:14:08,791
Then take away his keys
and make him wander the streets

329
00:14:08,793 --> 00:14:10,726
with the other drunks.

330
00:14:12,496 --> 00:14:15,264
You remember Sheldon
and Raj and Howard.

331
00:14:15,266 --> 00:14:16,833
Not really, no.

332
00:14:18,101 --> 00:14:19,535
It's funny, huh, Leonard?

333
00:14:19,537 --> 00:14:22,438
Back in school, I was the
winner and you were the loser.

334
00:14:22,440 --> 00:14:23,506
And now we're reversed.

335
00:14:23,508 --> 00:14:26,042
You're the winner.

336
00:14:26,044 --> 00:14:29,011
You'd think a winner could make
a decent cup of cocoa.

337
00:14:30,714 --> 00:14:33,716
- You mind if I use your bathroom?
- Yeah, just back there.

338
00:14:36,687 --> 00:14:38,287
How about that?

339
00:14:38,289 --> 00:14:41,390
After all these years,
your big bad high school bully

340
00:14:41,392 --> 00:14:43,159
finally apologizes.

341
00:14:43,161 --> 00:14:46,028
Yeah. It kind of rekindles
your faith

342
00:14:46,030 --> 00:14:48,097
in the basic goodness of people.

343
00:14:48,099 --> 00:14:50,700
You know what
would be nice?

344
00:14:50,702 --> 00:14:51,434
What's that?

345
00:14:51,436 --> 00:14:53,603
As a symbolic gesture

346
00:14:53,605 --> 00:14:56,772
to all the bullies who've
tormented us for years,

347
00:14:56,774 --> 00:15:01,777
we open our home to Jimmy and
once he's asleep we kill him.

348
00:15:06,450 --> 00:15:09,418
I said it would be nice--
I didn't say we should do it.

349
00:15:11,955 --> 00:15:15,458
I feel just like
Mother Teresa.

350
00:15:15,460 --> 00:15:17,226
Except for the virgin part.

351
00:15:17,228 --> 00:15:20,229
That ship sailed
a long time ago.

352
00:15:20,231 --> 00:15:25,001
I think Mother Teresa would
have washed the clothes first.

353
00:15:25,003 --> 00:15:26,903
Yeah, well, I bet
her laundry room

354
00:15:26,905 --> 00:15:28,871
wasn't down five flights
of stairs.

355
00:15:28,873 --> 00:15:32,742
You know, giving really
is better than receiving.

356
00:15:32,744 --> 00:15:36,546
I used to think it was such a cliche,
but it seems to be the...

357
00:15:36,548 --> 00:15:40,216
Look at these cute jeans
someone just threw away.

358
00:15:40,218 --> 00:15:42,318
Donated.

359
00:15:44,855 --> 00:15:48,591
Yes, to a poor waitress
who loves a boot cut.

360
00:15:49,626 --> 00:15:50,626
Penny.

361
00:15:50,628 --> 00:15:52,728
Come on, they would
be so cute on me...

362
00:15:52,730 --> 00:15:54,931
They go great
with this sweater!

363
00:15:54,933 --> 00:15:57,066
I don't think
Mother Teresa...

364
00:15:57,068 --> 00:15:59,001
Oh, that is adorable.

365
00:16:01,000 --> 00:16:07,074



366
00:16:10,380 --> 00:16:11,948
Leonard.

367
00:16:11,950 --> 00:16:14,016
- Yeah.
- In case it comes up again,

368
00:16:14,018 --> 00:16:17,820
this right here
is an imposition.

369
00:16:19,323 --> 00:16:20,790
What was I supposed to do?

370
00:16:20,792 --> 00:16:22,525
He needed a place
to sleep it off.

371
00:16:22,527 --> 00:16:24,093
You're soft.

372
00:16:24,095 --> 00:16:27,496
This world's going to chew
you up and spit you out.

373
00:16:29,500 --> 00:16:32,301
When did I have tacos?

374
00:16:33,937 --> 00:16:35,438
Morning, Jimmy.

375
00:16:35,440 --> 00:16:39,075
Oh, there it is, tacos.

376
00:16:39,077 --> 00:16:42,211
Man, I tied one on.

377
00:16:42,213 --> 00:16:43,379
Yeah, you did.

378
00:16:43,381 --> 00:16:46,515
So, uh, listen, it was
great to see you again.

379
00:16:46,517 --> 00:16:49,051
And thanks for
the apology.

380
00:16:49,053 --> 00:16:51,187
What apology?

381
00:16:51,189 --> 00:16:54,357
For all the crappy stuff
you did to me in high school.

382
00:16:54,359 --> 00:16:56,692
Geez, you're still harping
on that?

383
00:16:56,694 --> 00:16:57,960
What a puss.

384
00:16:57,962 --> 00:17:00,429
That's my French toast.

385
00:17:00,431 --> 00:17:02,098
It's good.

386
00:17:02,100 --> 00:17:04,834
You really know your way
around a kitchen, Nancy.

387
00:17:06,503 --> 00:17:08,739
I'm not going to say
I told you so,

388
00:17:08,764 --> 00:17:10,312
but we could have killed him.

389
00:17:13,210 --> 00:17:16,245
I might kill him right now.

390
00:17:16,247 --> 00:17:18,881
The Dark Knight
has your back.

391
00:17:18,883 --> 00:17:21,384
He's scared, but
he has your back.

392
00:17:21,386 --> 00:17:23,586
Okay, Jimmy, it's time
for you to go.

393
00:17:23,588 --> 00:17:25,054
Yeah, all right, let
me just finish this.

394
00:17:25,056 --> 00:17:27,423
No, you're done. I want you out
of my apartment right now.

395
00:17:27,425 --> 00:17:30,359
Well said, Boy Wonder.

396
00:17:31,194 --> 00:17:33,896
Or what?

397
00:17:33,898 --> 00:17:34,971
Don't answer that.
It's a trick question.

398
00:17:34,996 --> 00:17:36,196
I speak from experience.

399
00:17:39,736 --> 00:17:42,171
I'm not afraid of you
anymore, Jimmy.

400
00:17:42,173 --> 00:17:43,739
Now get out!

401
00:17:44,875 --> 00:17:46,942
Uh-oh.

402
00:17:48,745 --> 00:17:50,746
You did it, Leonard,
you stood up to your bully.

403
00:17:50,748 --> 00:17:53,349
Yeah, I feel pretty good
about myself.

404
00:17:55,152 --> 00:17:57,553
You think we can
outrun him?

405
00:17:57,555 --> 00:18:00,623
I don't need to outrun him,
I just need to outrun you.

406
00:18:06,915 --> 00:18:08,500
I don't feel
good about this.

407
00:18:08,501 --> 00:18:10,701
Then sit in the car
and keep it running.

408
00:18:11,503 --> 00:18:14,372
You were right--
a whole new load.

409
00:18:17,209 --> 00:18:20,144
Come on, yoga top.
Mama needs a new yoga top.

410
00:18:20,146 --> 00:18:22,813
Check it out, Bernadette,
suede boots, your size.

411
00:18:22,815 --> 00:18:24,949
God, they're cute.

412
00:18:24,951 --> 00:18:27,585
Oh, why did they have
to be cute?

413
00:18:27,587 --> 00:18:30,321
Wait, wait, wait, guys,
just hang on.

414
00:18:30,323 --> 00:18:32,223
What is it, the fuzz?

415
00:18:34,626 --> 00:18:36,661
Look at us.

416
00:18:36,663 --> 00:18:38,129
What are we doing?

417
00:18:38,131 --> 00:18:41,165
I was gleefully following you
to a life of crime,

418
00:18:41,167 --> 00:18:44,502
looking forward to the day
we might be cell mates.

419
00:18:47,172 --> 00:18:50,141
I don't know about Bernadette.

420
00:18:50,143 --> 00:18:54,679
You know, this is wrong.
Let's put everything back.

421
00:19:05,625 --> 00:19:07,526
It's okay, I serve soup
to poor people!

421
00:19:08,305 --> 00:20:08,558
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