1
00:00:03,755 --> 00:00:05,974
Oh, my God.
I love this chicken.
2
00:00:05,976 --> 00:00:07,559
Oh, you know
what they say,
3
00:00:07,561 --> 00:00:11,062
best things in life
are free.
4
00:00:11,064 --> 00:00:13,031
Okay, you're right.
I eat your food a lot.
5
00:00:13,033 --> 00:00:13,982
Now, how about this?
6
00:00:13,984 --> 00:00:15,783
You can raid my fridge
anytime you want.
7
00:00:15,785 --> 00:00:17,569
Oh, that's
very kind of you.
8
00:00:17,571 --> 00:00:20,738
Next time I have a hankering to
wash down a D-cell battery
9
00:00:20,740 --> 00:00:22,407
with a jar of
old pickle juice,
10
00:00:22,409 --> 00:00:24,826
I'll come a-knockin'.
11
00:00:24,828 --> 00:00:26,995
Hey, Raj, you didn't
send your RSVP in.
12
00:00:26,997 --> 00:00:28,914
I'm suppose to ask you if you're
bringing someone to the wedding.
13
00:00:28,916 --> 00:00:30,716
I'll let you know.
14
00:00:30,718 --> 00:00:32,051
Well, can you make it soon?
15
00:00:32,053 --> 00:00:34,086
There's a battle royale going on
over the seating charts.
16
00:00:34,088 --> 00:00:37,789
In one corner, Bernadette's mom,
in the other three, mine.
17
00:00:37,791 --> 00:00:40,643
Yeah, I hate
wedding receptions.
18
00:00:40,645 --> 00:00:42,061
Yeah, I wish the bride and groom
19
00:00:42,063 --> 00:00:43,479
would take a cue
from Bilbo Baggins.
20
00:00:43,481 --> 00:00:46,649
Slip on the ring, disappear,
and everyone goes home.
21
00:00:46,651 --> 00:00:49,485
Mm, you liked
Professor Geyser's wedding.
22
00:00:49,487 --> 00:00:52,054
They had a
make-your-own-sundae bar.
23
00:00:52,056 --> 00:00:54,440
Oh, that was
a night to remember.
24
00:00:54,442 --> 00:00:58,944
Do you know, on one trip,
I just had a bowl of nuts.
25
00:00:58,946 --> 00:01:01,697
Anyway, you got to let me know
if you have a plus one.
26
00:01:01,699 --> 00:01:03,999
Because if not, my mom's trying
to sneak in the doctor
27
00:01:04,001 --> 00:01:06,452
who sucked the fat
out of her neck.
28
00:01:10,006 --> 00:01:11,507
All right, uh, fine.
29
00:01:11,509 --> 00:01:13,509
I'm coming and
I'm bringing somebody.
30
00:01:13,511 --> 00:01:14,960
Uh, Koothrappali plus one.
31
00:01:14,962 --> 00:01:15,827
Who you bringing?
32
00:01:15,829 --> 00:01:16,929
Who are you bringing?!
33
00:01:18,014 --> 00:01:20,216
He's bringing me;
who are you bringing?
34
00:01:20,218 --> 00:01:24,002
Wow, what a bunch of
Nosey O'Donnells.
35
00:01:24,004 --> 00:01:25,537
Come on, who is it?
36
00:01:25,539 --> 00:01:27,389
I'm not telling.
37
00:01:27,391 --> 00:01:30,442
I'm from Asia,
I'm mysterious, deal with it.
38
00:01:31,511 --> 00:01:34,196
Howard aren't having
a make-your-own-sundae bar?
39
00:01:34,198 --> 00:01:36,031
I don't think so.
40
00:01:36,033 --> 00:01:37,066
Well, you should.
41
00:01:37,068 --> 00:01:39,118
50% of marriages end in divorce,
42
00:01:39,120 --> 00:01:42,938
but 100% of make-your-own-sundae
bars end in happiness.
43
00:01:44,023 --> 00:01:47,459
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
44
00:01:47,461 --> 00:01:51,080
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
45
00:01:51,082 --> 00:01:52,631
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
46
00:01:52,633 --> 00:01:54,950
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
47
00:01:54,952 --> 00:01:57,586
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
48
00:01:57,588 --> 00:02:00,322
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
49
00:02:00,324 --> 00:02:02,207
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
50
00:02:02,209 --> 00:02:03,162
♪ Bang! ♪
51
00:02:11,768 --> 00:02:13,902
Hello, Mummy, Daddy.
How are you?
52
00:02:13,904 --> 00:02:15,987
Pretty good.
Can't complain.
53
00:02:15,989 --> 00:02:17,556
Oh, I'm sure you can.
54
00:02:17,558 --> 00:02:20,225
Just give it a minute.
55
00:02:20,227 --> 00:02:21,643
Listen, uh,
56
00:02:21,645 --> 00:02:23,862
there's something
I want to talk to you about.
57
00:02:23,864 --> 00:02:26,415
I wasn't ready until now, but...
58
00:02:26,417 --> 00:02:27,982
I think it's time.
59
00:02:28,984 --> 00:02:30,534
It's finally happening.
60
00:02:30,536 --> 00:02:33,137
You're coming out of
the closet, aren't you?
61
00:02:34,189 --> 00:02:37,041
We love you, and we accept
your alternate lifestyle.
62
00:02:37,043 --> 00:02:40,361
Just... keep it to yourself.
63
00:02:40,363 --> 00:02:43,080
No, I'm not gay.
64
00:02:43,199 --> 00:02:45,183
If anything, I'm metrosexual.
65
00:02:45,185 --> 00:02:46,318
What's that?
66
00:02:46,320 --> 00:02:48,019
It means I like women
67
00:02:48,021 --> 00:02:50,272
as well as
their skin-care products.
68
00:02:50,274 --> 00:02:51,990
Well, if you're
not coming out,
69
00:02:51,992 --> 00:02:54,926
why did you call us during
the cricket semifinals?
70
00:02:54,928 --> 00:02:58,063
I'm tired of trying
to meet someone,
71
00:02:58,065 --> 00:03:01,783
and I think I'd like you
to help me find a...
72
00:03:01,785 --> 00:03:03,652
a wife.
73
00:03:03,654 --> 00:03:05,670
And just to clarify...
74
00:03:05,672 --> 00:03:07,439
a female wife?
75
00:03:07,441 --> 00:03:09,791
Yes!
76
00:03:09,793 --> 00:03:12,794
Matchmaking--
very smart move, son.
77
00:03:12,796 --> 00:03:14,946
Much better than
marrying for love.
78
00:03:19,752 --> 00:03:22,354
We married for love.
79
00:03:22,356 --> 00:03:26,024
And it's been
wonderful!
80
00:03:28,311 --> 00:03:32,547
Quantum physics
makes me so happy.
81
00:03:32,549 --> 00:03:33,899
Yeah, I'm glad.
82
00:03:33,901 --> 00:03:36,585
It's like looking
at the universe naked.
83
00:03:44,361 --> 00:03:46,244
Hi. Guys got a minute?
84
00:03:46,246 --> 00:03:47,496
Sure. What's up?
85
00:03:47,498 --> 00:03:50,064
Well, I was thinking about
Sheldon's little joke
86
00:03:50,066 --> 00:03:52,200
the other night about me
eating all your food.
87
00:03:52,202 --> 00:03:54,369
Oh! That was no joke.
But...
88
00:03:55,254 --> 00:03:56,371
I understand your confusion,
89
00:03:56,373 --> 00:03:58,457
as I am our group's
resident cutup.
90
00:04:00,092 --> 00:04:01,193
I'm sorry,
91
00:04:01,195 --> 00:04:03,094
you are our resident cutup?
92
00:04:03,096 --> 00:04:05,430
Yes.
93
00:04:05,432 --> 00:04:07,415
Oh, prove it.
94
00:04:07,417 --> 00:04:08,467
Knock-knock.
95
00:04:08,469 --> 00:04:10,135
- Who's there?
- Interrupting physicist.
96
00:04:10,137 --> 00:04:13,054
Interrupting phys...
Muon!
97
00:04:15,808 --> 00:04:18,426
Anyway, I got a little residual
check from my commercial,
98
00:04:18,428 --> 00:04:20,579
and I thought, hey,
how about I get the guys
99
00:04:20,581 --> 00:04:22,931
a little thank you
to pay them back?
100
00:04:22,933 --> 00:04:23,765
So, Sheldon...
101
00:04:23,767 --> 00:04:25,567
ta-da!
102
00:04:25,569 --> 00:04:28,269
A vintage mint-in-box
103
00:04:28,271 --> 00:04:31,272
1975 Mego Star Trek
Transporter
104
00:04:31,274 --> 00:04:32,741
with real transporter action.
105
00:04:32,743 --> 00:04:34,609
Hot darn!
106
00:04:34,611 --> 00:04:37,245
Where did you get that?
107
00:04:37,247 --> 00:04:38,713
From Stuart,
at the comic book store.
108
00:04:38,715 --> 00:04:41,800
You went to the
comic book store by yourself?
109
00:04:41,802 --> 00:04:43,468
Yeah. It was fun.
110
00:04:43,470 --> 00:04:46,805
I walked in, and two different
guys got asthma attacks.
111
00:04:47,807 --> 00:04:49,791
Felt pretty good.
112
00:04:49,793 --> 00:04:52,310
This calls for an
expression of gratitude.
113
00:04:52,312 --> 00:04:55,063
Ooh, am I about to get
a rare Sheldon Cooper hug?
114
00:04:55,065 --> 00:04:57,399
No, not this time.
Then they wouldn't be special.
115
00:04:57,401 --> 00:04:58,800
Thanks, Penny.
116
00:05:00,686 --> 00:05:02,153
You're welcome.
117
00:05:02,155 --> 00:05:04,155
Don't worry,
I didn't forget about you.
118
00:05:04,157 --> 00:05:05,473
Oh...
119
00:05:05,475 --> 00:05:07,692
Leonard, I got you...
120
00:05:07,694 --> 00:05:09,594
a label-maker!
121
00:05:15,484 --> 00:05:18,653
Wow...
122
00:05:18,655 --> 00:05:20,038
No, it's great.
123
00:05:20,040 --> 00:05:22,991
- Also mint-in-box.
- Mm.
124
00:05:22,993 --> 00:05:25,343
And I got you
a transporter, too!
125
00:05:25,345 --> 00:05:26,878
Awesome!
126
00:05:30,383 --> 00:05:32,634
Look, it was actually
designed for
127
00:05:32,636 --> 00:05:34,168
my vintage Mr. Spock
action figure.
128
00:05:34,170 --> 00:05:36,421
Oh, that's great! Let's open
them up and put him in there.
129
00:05:36,423 --> 00:05:38,473
- Open it?!
- Oh, good Lord, no!
130
00:05:38,475 --> 00:05:40,692
Why? They're just toys.
131
00:05:40,694 --> 00:05:42,861
- They're collectibles.
- They're mint-in-box.
132
00:05:42,863 --> 00:05:44,613
Come on. Can't we open
one up and take a look?
133
00:05:44,615 --> 00:05:46,848
No, don't!
134
00:05:46,850 --> 00:05:49,985
Once you open the box,
it loses its value.
135
00:05:49,987 --> 00:05:53,321
Yeah, yeah. My mom gave me the
same lecture about my virginity.
136
00:05:55,124 --> 00:05:57,325
Gotta tell you,
it was a lot more fun
137
00:05:57,327 --> 00:05:59,511
taking it out
and playing with it.
138
00:06:01,914 --> 00:06:04,866
Are you sure you want us here
when you meet this woman?
139
00:06:04,868 --> 00:06:05,834
Oh, yes.
140
00:06:05,836 --> 00:06:07,002
In my culture, it's expected
141
00:06:07,004 --> 00:06:09,004
to have a chaperone
to oversee a first date.
142
00:06:09,006 --> 00:06:11,590
Plus, I want to make a good
impression, and no offense,
143
00:06:11,592 --> 00:06:15,343
but with you guys here,
I look like I'm six-two.
144
00:06:16,846 --> 00:06:19,848
The nuns always chaperoned
the dances at my high school.
145
00:06:19,850 --> 00:06:23,985
They used to make us leave room
between us for the Holy Spirit.
146
00:06:23,987 --> 00:06:25,520
Uh, Hindus do the same thing.
147
00:06:25,522 --> 00:06:28,523
Except they leave room
for a cow.
148
00:06:28,525 --> 00:06:32,077
Listen, I love your charming
racist humor, but any chance
149
00:06:32,079 --> 00:06:34,446
you could not mock
my religion while she's here?
150
00:06:34,448 --> 00:06:36,665
Yesterday, you made fun of me
for eating lox.
151
00:06:36,667 --> 00:06:38,667
It's different, your people
don't worship lox.
152
00:06:38,669 --> 00:06:41,720
Clearly, you've never been
to brunch with my cousins.
153
00:06:42,838 --> 00:06:44,623
So, arranged marriages--
the parents just decide
154
00:06:44,625 --> 00:06:46,424
and then you have
to get married?
155
00:06:46,426 --> 00:06:48,343
No, no, I get a say in it.
156
00:06:48,345 --> 00:06:50,545
But I'm sure whoever shows up
will be better company
157
00:06:50,547 --> 00:06:51,880
than the threesome
I've been having
158
00:06:51,882 --> 00:06:54,432
with Aunt Jemima
and Mrs. Butterworth.
159
00:06:56,352 --> 00:06:58,053
Excuse me, are you Rajesh?
160
00:06:58,055 --> 00:06:58,937
Ah, yes.
161
00:06:58,939 --> 00:06:59,971
You must be Lakshmi.
162
00:06:59,973 --> 00:07:01,255
Uh, nice to meet you.
163
00:07:01,257 --> 00:07:02,724
Nice to meet you, too.
164
00:07:03,610 --> 00:07:05,093
Oh! These are my friends.
165
00:07:05,095 --> 00:07:06,778
- This is Bernadette.
- Hello.
166
00:07:06,780 --> 00:07:08,647
- And this is Howard.
- Nice to meet you.
167
00:07:08,649 --> 00:07:11,199
- You, too.
- Please, have a seat.
168
00:07:11,201 --> 00:07:13,902
I'm thinking double wedding.
169
00:07:18,240 --> 00:07:21,326
Dr. Cooper.
170
00:07:23,129 --> 00:07:26,264
Dr. Cooper?
171
00:07:26,266 --> 00:07:27,499
Is someone there?
172
00:07:27,501 --> 00:07:30,101
Down here.
On your desk.
173
00:07:33,956 --> 00:07:35,790
Spock?
174
00:07:35,792 --> 00:07:38,660
I need to speak with you.
175
00:07:38,662 --> 00:07:41,796
Fascinating.
176
00:07:41,798 --> 00:07:45,150
The only logical explanation
is that this is a dream.
177
00:07:45,152 --> 00:07:47,986
It is not the only
logical explanation.
178
00:07:47,988 --> 00:07:50,555
For example,
you could be hallucinating
179
00:07:50,557 --> 00:07:55,060
after being hit on the head
by, say, a coconut.
180
00:07:55,062 --> 00:07:58,813
Was I hit on the head
by a coconut?
181
00:07:58,815 --> 00:08:02,784
I am not going to
dignify that with a response.
182
00:08:04,036 --> 00:08:05,236
Now to the matter at hand.
183
00:08:05,238 --> 00:08:07,806
You need to play
with the transporter toy.
184
00:08:07,808 --> 00:08:09,257
But it's mint-in-box.
185
00:08:09,259 --> 00:08:10,408
Yes.
186
00:08:10,410 --> 00:08:12,494
And to open it
would destroy its value.
187
00:08:12,496 --> 00:08:15,447
But remember, like me,
188
00:08:15,449 --> 00:08:17,515
you also have a human half.
189
00:08:17,517 --> 00:08:21,502
Well, I'm not going to
dignify that with a response.
190
00:08:21,504 --> 00:08:23,922
Consider this.
191
00:08:23,924 --> 00:08:25,790
What is the purpose of a toy?
192
00:08:25,792 --> 00:08:27,192
To be played with.
193
00:08:27,194 --> 00:08:30,195
Therefore, to not
play with it would be...?
194
00:08:30,197 --> 00:08:31,696
Illogical.
195
00:08:31,698 --> 00:08:35,349
Damn it, Spock, you're right.
196
00:08:35,351 --> 00:08:37,619
I'll do it.
197
00:08:37,621 --> 00:08:39,187
Sheldon, wait.
198
00:08:40,106 --> 00:08:41,740
You have to wake up first.
199
00:08:41,742 --> 00:08:43,858
Oh, of course.
200
00:08:43,860 --> 00:08:47,178
Set phasers to dumb, right?
201
00:08:48,164 --> 00:08:49,864
Goodie, goodie, goodie!
202
00:08:52,168 --> 00:08:53,668
This is wrong, this is wrong.
203
00:08:53,670 --> 00:08:56,221
I'm so excited,
but this is wrong.
204
00:08:59,091 --> 00:09:00,842
I'm going to do it.
205
00:09:00,844 --> 00:09:02,594
I'm doing it.
206
00:09:02,596 --> 00:09:04,646
I did it.
207
00:09:09,219 --> 00:09:12,070
That's what I always thought
1975 smelled like.
208
00:09:15,157 --> 00:09:18,493
One to beam down,
Mr. Scott.
209
00:09:18,495 --> 00:09:20,328
Aye, aye, Mr. Spock.
210
00:09:20,330 --> 00:09:21,863
Energize.
211
00:09:25,584 --> 00:09:27,352
Energize.
212
00:09:29,000 --> 00:09:35,074
Watch Online Movies and Series for FREE
www.osdb.link/lm
213
00:09:37,379 --> 00:09:38,963
No. No.
214
00:09:38,965 --> 00:09:40,965
Don't be broken.
215
00:09:40,967 --> 00:09:43,601
Oh, please, don't be broken.
216
00:09:45,420 --> 00:09:48,556
What did you make me do?!
217
00:09:48,558 --> 00:09:51,860
Okay, okay, think.
218
00:09:58,284 --> 00:10:00,485
It's only logical.
219
00:10:04,955 --> 00:10:05,841
My goodness,
220
00:10:05,842 --> 00:10:07,458
that was delicious.
221
00:10:07,459 --> 00:10:11,261
Well, I hope you saved room
for chocolate lava cake.
222
00:10:11,263 --> 00:10:12,812
Impressive.
223
00:10:13,115 --> 00:10:15,266
What goes into
making something like that?
224
00:10:15,268 --> 00:10:16,984
Well, you start
out by trying to
225
00:10:16,986 --> 00:10:20,037
make chocolate soufflé,
and when it falls, you panic,
226
00:10:20,039 --> 00:10:22,940
quickly change the name,
and voila, lava cake.
227
00:10:24,192 --> 00:10:27,244
I bet our parents are dying to
know how things are going here.
228
00:10:27,246 --> 00:10:29,196
Well, let's see.
229
00:10:30,499 --> 00:10:32,366
Yep, three missed calls.
230
00:10:32,368 --> 00:10:34,168
Four missed calls,
two text messages
231
00:10:34,170 --> 00:10:36,236
and a failed video chat.
I win!
232
00:10:37,790 --> 00:10:40,508
So, what are
we going to tell them?
233
00:10:40,510 --> 00:10:43,344
I'd like to tell them
things are going well.
234
00:10:43,346 --> 00:10:44,512
Me, too.
235
00:10:44,514 --> 00:10:46,180
But before we get
their hopes up,
236
00:10:46,182 --> 00:10:48,632
we should probably make sure
we're on the same page.
237
00:10:48,634 --> 00:10:50,551
Okay.
238
00:10:50,553 --> 00:10:52,937
What page are you on?
239
00:10:52,939 --> 00:10:54,221
I'm on the one
240
00:10:54,223 --> 00:10:56,390
where I'm under
a lot of pressure
241
00:10:56,392 --> 00:10:58,926
from my parents to get married
and settle down
242
00:10:58,928 --> 00:11:00,561
and have a family,
243
00:11:00,563 --> 00:11:03,714
and I'm going to do it
so they don't find out I'm gay.
244
00:11:05,383 --> 00:11:07,785
Say again?
245
00:11:07,787 --> 00:11:09,119
I'm gay.
246
00:11:09,121 --> 00:11:11,889
Like... dude-on-dude,
247
00:11:11,891 --> 00:11:14,525
but with women?
248
00:11:14,527 --> 00:11:16,994
I know a fake marriage
isn't an honest way to live,
249
00:11:16,996 --> 00:11:19,446
but you of all people
should know how difficult it is
250
00:11:19,448 --> 00:11:20,948
to come out in our culture.
251
00:11:20,950 --> 00:11:23,784
Why me of all people?!
252
00:11:23,786 --> 00:11:26,237
Well, there's a rumor
back in New Delhi that you're--
253
00:11:26,239 --> 00:11:27,738
how shall we say--
254
00:11:27,740 --> 00:11:30,391
comfortable in a sari.
255
00:11:30,393 --> 00:11:32,476
I'm not gay!
256
00:11:32,478 --> 00:11:33,978
Really? The chocolate lava cake,
257
00:11:33,980 --> 00:11:36,647
the little soaps
in the bathroom, and I'm sorry,
258
00:11:36,649 --> 00:11:39,350
but you're wearing
more perfume than I am.
259
00:11:39,352 --> 00:11:43,821
That's Unbreakable
by Khloe and Lamar.
260
00:11:43,823 --> 00:11:46,523
And for your information,
it's unisex.
261
00:11:46,525 --> 00:11:48,242
Fill in the blank.
262
00:11:48,244 --> 00:11:49,977
I love the nightlife...
263
00:11:49,979 --> 00:11:51,428
I like to boogie.
264
00:11:51,430 --> 00:11:52,479
Got you.
265
00:11:52,481 --> 00:11:56,116
With women! I like
to boogie with women!
266
00:11:56,118 --> 00:11:58,052
That's disappointing.
267
00:11:58,054 --> 00:12:00,754
You were exactly the kind
of phony-baloney husband
268
00:12:00,756 --> 00:12:02,323
I was looking for.
269
00:12:02,325 --> 00:12:03,991
Thank you.
270
00:12:03,993 --> 00:12:07,962
And once again, my
baloney likes girls.
271
00:12:07,964 --> 00:12:10,330
W-W-Wait!
272
00:12:10,332 --> 00:12:12,549
You don't want to put a
bite of that in your mouth
273
00:12:12,551 --> 00:12:14,985
without trying my
homemade Chantilly cream.
274
00:12:16,170 --> 00:12:18,656
Yeah, okay,
that time I heard it.
275
00:12:29,902 --> 00:12:33,288
Oh, dear.
276
00:12:33,290 --> 00:12:36,791
Two suns and no sunscreen.
277
00:12:41,297 --> 00:12:42,864
Hello again, Sheldon.
278
00:12:44,734 --> 00:12:47,736
What is it now, Tiny Spock?
279
00:12:47,738 --> 00:12:49,804
I am very disappointed in you.
280
00:12:49,806 --> 00:12:52,407
You broke your toy
and switched it with Leonard's.
281
00:12:52,409 --> 00:12:54,776
You should be
ashamed of yourself.
282
00:12:54,778 --> 00:12:57,512
You're the one who told
me to play with it.
283
00:12:57,514 --> 00:12:59,814
If I told you to jump off
the bridge of the Enterprise,
284
00:12:59,816 --> 00:13:01,282
would you do it?
285
00:13:01,284 --> 00:13:04,185
Oh, if I got on the bridge
of the Enterprise,
286
00:13:04,187 --> 00:13:06,771
I would never, ever leave.
287
00:13:06,773 --> 00:13:10,925
Trust me, it gets old
after a while.
288
00:13:12,428 --> 00:13:14,429
You must right
your wrongs, Sheldon.
289
00:13:14,431 --> 00:13:16,397
Why? I got away with it.
290
00:13:16,399 --> 00:13:19,918
Leonard has his toy,
and he's never going to open it,
291
00:13:19,920 --> 00:13:21,703
so he won't know it's broken.
292
00:13:21,705 --> 00:13:24,039
And I have a toy
that isn't broken.
293
00:13:24,041 --> 00:13:25,373
Everybody's happy.
294
00:13:25,375 --> 00:13:27,125
Well, I am unhappy.
295
00:13:27,127 --> 00:13:30,061
I thought where you come from
they don't have emotions.
296
00:13:30,063 --> 00:13:34,632
I come from a factory
in Taiwan.
297
00:13:35,534 --> 00:13:37,102
Now, do the right thing.
298
00:13:37,104 --> 00:13:38,770
You know what you are?
299
00:13:38,772 --> 00:13:41,923
Well, you're
a green-blooded buzz kill.
300
00:13:41,925 --> 00:13:44,425
Perhaps it's time
you beam on out of here.
301
00:13:45,427 --> 00:13:46,360
Fine.
302
00:13:46,362 --> 00:13:48,512
I will just use
the transporter.
303
00:13:48,514 --> 00:13:49,780
Oh, right.
304
00:13:49,782 --> 00:13:52,216
You broke it.
305
00:13:52,218 --> 00:13:54,401
Very well.
306
00:13:54,403 --> 00:13:57,488
Cooper to Enterprise,
one to beam up.
307
00:13:57,490 --> 00:13:59,623
Energize.
308
00:14:10,820 --> 00:14:13,771
Tiny Spock, help.
309
00:14:18,560 --> 00:14:19,977
Ready for lunch?
310
00:14:19,979 --> 00:14:21,428
Yeah, one sec.
311
00:14:21,430 --> 00:14:23,647
Oh, good.
Ma would've killed me
312
00:14:23,649 --> 00:14:27,017
if she found out
I broke my retainer.
313
00:14:28,453 --> 00:14:29,903
Hey, uh...
314
00:14:29,905 --> 00:14:32,305
can I run something by you?
It's about Lakshmi.
315
00:14:32,307 --> 00:14:34,191
Yeah, sure.
How are things going?
316
00:14:34,193 --> 00:14:35,993
We hit a couple
of bumps.
317
00:14:35,995 --> 00:14:37,161
She lives
over in Manhattan Beach,
318
00:14:37,163 --> 00:14:39,279
so it takes, like, an hour
to get there.
319
00:14:39,998 --> 00:14:41,715
And she's a lesbian.
320
00:14:41,717 --> 00:14:44,868
What do you mean,
"she's a lesbian"?
321
00:14:44,870 --> 00:14:47,121
Well, you know how
whenever you and I would try
322
00:14:47,123 --> 00:14:49,489
to hit on women in bars
and they'd blow us off
323
00:14:49,491 --> 00:14:51,675
and then we'd tell each other
they were probably gay?
324
00:14:51,677 --> 00:14:52,676
It's like that.
325
00:14:52,678 --> 00:14:55,662
Except this time, it's true.
326
00:14:55,664 --> 00:14:57,998
Then why did she even
go out with you?
327
00:14:58,000 --> 00:14:59,299
She was looking
328
00:14:59,301 --> 00:15:01,685
for a husband so she can
appear to be straight.
329
00:15:01,687 --> 00:15:02,936
And, you know,
330
00:15:02,938 --> 00:15:05,556
it sounded crazy
to me at first...
331
00:15:05,558 --> 00:15:08,675
but I'm actually
thinking about doing it.
332
00:15:08,677 --> 00:15:12,196
Okay, so the reason
that might sound crazy...
333
00:15:12,198 --> 00:15:14,565
is 'cause it's crazy!
334
00:15:14,567 --> 00:15:16,567
Look, Howard,
you're in a relationship.
335
00:15:16,569 --> 00:15:19,069
You know you have
to make compromises.
336
00:15:19,071 --> 00:15:21,789
Yes, but my compromises
are about which bedspread to buy
337
00:15:21,791 --> 00:15:24,408
or whose turn
it is to do the laundry,
338
00:15:24,410 --> 00:15:26,326
Bernadette's or my mom's.
339
00:15:29,998 --> 00:15:31,465
It's a great deal.
340
00:15:31,467 --> 00:15:33,200
We both get our parents
off our backs,
341
00:15:33,202 --> 00:15:35,803
I don't have to come home to an
empty apartment every night.
342
00:15:35,805 --> 00:15:38,472
Plus, once I'm married, I
can finally eat carbs again
343
00:15:38,474 --> 00:15:41,225
and let myself go.
344
00:15:41,227 --> 00:15:43,543
Why don't you
tell your parents
345
00:15:43,545 --> 00:15:45,929
you want to try
to find someone else?
346
00:15:45,931 --> 00:15:48,982
Maybe one who hasn't slept with
more woman than you.
347
00:15:48,984 --> 00:15:51,602
Because this one
wants to marry me.
348
00:15:51,604 --> 00:15:54,554
I might never find
another one who does.
349
00:15:54,556 --> 00:15:56,740
So you're seriously thinking
about marrying someone
350
00:15:56,742 --> 00:15:58,742
you're never gonna
have sex with?
351
00:15:58,744 --> 00:16:00,194
I can't believe your attitude.
352
00:16:00,196 --> 00:16:03,280
I thought you were in favor
of gay people getting married.
353
00:16:05,216 --> 00:16:07,534
Yes, to other gay people!
354
00:16:07,536 --> 00:16:11,722
Do you hear how
homophobic you sound?
355
00:16:51,996 --> 00:16:54,948
Oh, I don't want a broken toy.
356
00:16:57,886 --> 00:17:00,804
Nothing!
357
00:17:00,806 --> 00:17:02,306
What?
358
00:17:02,308 --> 00:17:04,508
Nothing. I said nothing.
359
00:17:04,510 --> 00:17:05,509
That was weird.
360
00:17:05,511 --> 00:17:07,844
Really? I don't
even notice anymore.
361
00:17:09,564 --> 00:17:11,798
I cannot believe you guys
aren't gonna play with these.
362
00:17:11,800 --> 00:17:13,800
Well, I told you, you don't.
It's mint-in-box.
363
00:17:13,802 --> 00:17:16,637
I don't know.
I just think it's a waste.
364
00:17:21,943 --> 00:17:24,644
Relax. I'm just
looking at the box.
365
00:17:24,646 --> 00:17:26,330
Perhaps you should
look with your eyes
366
00:17:26,332 --> 00:17:29,649
and not your muscular
Nebraska man hands.
367
00:17:29,651 --> 00:17:32,652
What is your problem?!
368
00:17:32,654 --> 00:17:35,822
My problem is that I don't want
you to break Leonard's toy.
369
00:17:35,824 --> 00:17:37,708
Which you probably
did by shaking it!
370
00:17:37,710 --> 00:17:40,544
She shook it,
we all saw her.
371
00:17:40,546 --> 00:17:41,845
Leonard, I bought you this
372
00:17:41,847 --> 00:17:43,880
'cause I wanted you
to have fun with it.
373
00:17:43,882 --> 00:17:45,849
I don't want it
to sit in this box.
374
00:17:45,851 --> 00:17:48,468
You know,
you're right.
375
00:17:48,470 --> 00:17:49,603
I mean,
it's from you,
376
00:17:49,605 --> 00:17:51,855
I'm never
gonna sell it.
377
00:17:51,857 --> 00:17:53,340
- I'm opening it.
- Yes!
378
00:18:05,119 --> 00:18:07,454
- It's broken.
- What?
379
00:18:07,456 --> 00:18:09,573
Oh, nice job, man hands!
380
00:18:10,524 --> 00:18:11,992
I didn't break it.
381
00:18:11,994 --> 00:18:15,078
I guess Stuart
sold it to me like this.
382
00:18:15,080 --> 00:18:17,664
Yes. Yes, he did.
383
00:18:17,666 --> 00:18:21,134
That is a perfectly satisfying
and plausible explana...
384
00:18:21,136 --> 00:18:22,853
Let's all be mad at Stuart!
385
00:18:23,871 --> 00:18:25,722
You know, I paid
a lot for this.
386
00:18:25,724 --> 00:18:27,540
Let's take it
over there and show him.
387
00:18:27,542 --> 00:18:29,026
Absolutely.
388
00:18:32,346 --> 00:18:33,729
Wait!
389
00:18:36,183 --> 00:18:38,401
It was me.
390
00:18:39,569 --> 00:18:41,737
I opened your toy...
391
00:18:41,739 --> 00:18:45,691
discovered it was broken
and didn't tell you.
392
00:18:45,693 --> 00:18:48,277
Why would you
open mine?
393
00:18:48,279 --> 00:18:50,496
I didn't. That was a lie.
394
00:18:50,498 --> 00:18:53,249
I opened my own toy...
395
00:18:53,251 --> 00:18:56,786
and it was already broken,
so I switched them.
396
00:18:56,788 --> 00:18:59,255
You should talk
to Stuart.
397
00:18:59,257 --> 00:19:01,357
I can't, because that was a lie.
398
00:19:02,592 --> 00:19:04,960
Yours was broken
in an earthquake--
399
00:19:04,962 --> 00:19:07,380
and that's a lie.
400
00:19:09,249 --> 00:19:11,083
What is the truth?
401
00:19:11,085 --> 00:19:13,853
My Mr. Spock doll
came to me in a dream
402
00:19:13,855 --> 00:19:15,604
and forced me to open it.
403
00:19:15,606 --> 00:19:19,692
And when the toy broke,
I switched it for yours.
404
00:19:18,694 --> 00:19:20,760
Later, he encouraged me
to do the right thing,
405
00:19:20,762 --> 00:19:22,095
and I defied him.
406
00:19:22,097 --> 00:19:25,399
And then I was attacked
by a Gorn.
407
00:19:28,669 --> 00:19:31,321
Okay, that I believe.
408
00:19:31,323 --> 00:19:33,773
Leonard, Penny, I just,
I want you both to know
409
00:19:33,775 --> 00:19:36,109
that I regret my actions
towards the two of you.
410
00:19:36,111 --> 00:19:38,111
That's a lie.
411
00:19:38,113 --> 00:19:40,664
So, is that one mine?
412
00:19:40,666 --> 00:19:41,665
Yes.
413
00:19:41,667 --> 00:19:43,750
Well, hand it over
so I can open it.
414
00:19:43,752 --> 00:19:45,385
Okay.
415
00:19:45,387 --> 00:19:48,121
And, Leonard, even though
I don't have one anymore,
416
00:19:48,123 --> 00:19:50,457
I hope you have fun
playing with it.
417
00:19:50,459 --> 00:19:53,310
And that's a lie, right?
It's a big, fat whopper.
418
00:19:54,795 --> 00:19:56,646
I hope it breaks.
419
00:20:01,989 --> 00:20:03,064
This is a treat.
420
00:20:03,065 --> 00:20:04,931
What brings
you guys by?
421
00:20:04,933 --> 00:20:08,284
Raj, Howie told me what's
going on with you and Lakshmi.
422
00:20:08,286 --> 00:20:09,819
You told her?
423
00:20:09,821 --> 00:20:12,255
I told everybody.
424
00:20:13,607 --> 00:20:15,158
We believe there's
someone out there
425
00:20:15,160 --> 00:20:16,660
who will love
you for you.
426
00:20:16,662 --> 00:20:18,528
Actually, we kind of
agreed to disagree
427
00:20:18,530 --> 00:20:20,580
on that one,
but we both think
428
00:20:20,582 --> 00:20:22,815
you shouldn't
marry this woman.
429
00:20:22,817 --> 00:20:25,818
So, while I'm waiting for
this mysterious perfect match
430
00:20:25,820 --> 00:20:29,172
who may or may not exist,
I'm supposed to just be alone?
431
00:20:29,174 --> 00:20:31,508
Not necessarily.
I think
432
00:20:31,510 --> 00:20:35,428
we found someone
for you to cuddle with.
433
00:20:35,430 --> 00:20:38,431
Oh, my goodness.
434
00:20:38,433 --> 00:20:42,668
Aren't you the cutest
little Yorkie ever!
435
00:20:43,854 --> 00:20:45,671
You got him for me?
436
00:20:45,673 --> 00:20:49,059
Her. We thought you two
would hit it off.
437
00:20:49,061 --> 00:20:50,510
I think we already have.
438
00:20:50,512 --> 00:20:52,345
Thank you guys so much.
439
00:20:52,599 --> 00:20:56,401
Let's go see
if you fit in my man purse.
440
00:20:58,173 --> 00:21:00,039
Heterosexual, my ass.
440
00:21:01,305 --> 00:22:01,266
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