1 00:00:02,063 --> 00:00:04,368 Previously on The Big Bang Theory... 2 00:00:04,410 --> 00:00:06,760 Can I have your attention, please? 3 00:00:07,791 --> 00:00:11,677 We're all here tonight because we have no one to be with. 4 00:00:12,091 --> 00:00:13,742 We've got to stop defining 5 00:00:13,754 --> 00:00:18,017 our self-worth by whether or not we're in a relationship. 6 00:00:18,448 --> 00:00:21,722 We are a community, and as long 7 00:00:21,747 --> 00:00:25,415 as we have each other, we're never truly alone. 8 00:00:30,211 --> 00:00:31,309 That was cool. 9 00:00:31,338 --> 00:00:32,297 What you said. 10 00:00:32,310 --> 00:00:33,961 Thank you. 11 00:00:36,372 --> 00:00:39,324 Uh... would you like to, uh... 12 00:00:39,353 --> 00:00:41,930 get a cup... a cup of coffee...? 13 00:00:42,372 --> 00:00:43,705 Okay. 14 00:00:49,103 --> 00:00:51,305 Later, losers! 15 00:00:54,169 --> 00:00:57,044 So then I went to Cambridge, which was wonderful 16 00:00:57,081 --> 00:00:58,727 not only because it's a good school 17 00:00:58,745 --> 00:01:01,666 but because it totally looks like Hogwarts. 18 00:01:02,544 --> 00:01:04,619 That's where I fell in love with astronomy, 19 00:01:04,696 --> 00:01:07,057 and now I'm an astrophysicist at Caltech, 20 00:01:07,081 --> 00:01:09,270 so I guess you could say, uh, 21 00:01:09,381 --> 00:01:12,556 Raj is my name and stars are my game. 22 00:01:13,384 --> 00:01:16,052 And rhyming is also my game. 23 00:01:16,267 --> 00:01:19,370 So, uh, two games. 24 00:01:19,977 --> 00:01:21,618 Uh, anyway, that-that's enough about me. 25 00:01:21,636 --> 00:01:23,803 I want to hear everything about you. 26 00:01:24,885 --> 00:01:26,836 I have to go to the bathroom. 27 00:01:27,413 --> 00:01:29,666 I go to the bathroom, too. 28 00:01:29,918 --> 00:01:32,345 Sometimes more frequently than I care to admit. 29 00:01:32,382 --> 00:01:35,806 Oh, I've had it checked out, it's nothing. 30 00:01:37,617 --> 00:01:38,449 Hmm! 31 00:01:38,830 --> 00:01:40,830 This is going great! 32 00:01:41,522 --> 00:01:42,447 Mmm... 33 00:01:42,553 --> 00:01:44,639 can I have a refill on my chai tea? 34 00:01:45,396 --> 00:01:46,846 Yes... 35 00:01:47,091 --> 00:01:49,391 I have a good feeling about this. 36 00:01:52,150 --> 00:01:54,472 I should have bought condoms. 37 00:01:56,732 --> 00:02:00,127 ♪ Our whole universe was in a hot, dense state ♪ 38 00:02:00,146 --> 00:02:04,096 ♪ Then nearly 14 billion years ago expansion started... Wait! ♪ 39 00:02:04,114 --> 00:02:05,297 ♪ The Earth began to cool 40 00:02:05,325 --> 00:02:08,290 ♪ The autotrophs began to drool, Neanderthals developed tools ♪ 41 00:02:08,308 --> 00:02:10,312 ♪ We built the Wall ♪ We built the pyramids ♪ 42 00:02:10,324 --> 00:02:13,079 ♪ Math, Science, History, unraveling the mystery ♪ 43 00:02:13,085 --> 00:02:15,139 ♪ That all started with a big bang ♪ 44 00:02:15,145 --> 00:02:16,239 ♪ Bang! ♪ 45 00:02:21,330 --> 00:02:22,462 Hello, 46 00:02:22,612 --> 00:02:24,760 I'm Dr. Sheldon Cooper. 47 00:02:25,070 --> 00:02:28,738 Welcome to Sheldon Cooper Presents: Fun with Flags. 48 00:02:32,108 --> 00:02:34,674 My apologies that this episode is coming late. 49 00:02:34,692 --> 00:02:38,196 I did shoot one last week, in honor of Black History Month, 50 00:02:38,389 --> 00:02:40,033 but I was informed by my roommate 51 00:02:40,051 --> 00:02:43,066 that my spot-on portrayal of George Washington Carver 52 00:02:43,095 --> 00:02:45,850 could be considered "wildly racist." 53 00:02:48,336 --> 00:02:49,916 My heart goes out to the members 54 00:02:49,922 --> 00:02:51,719 of the African-American community, 55 00:02:51,768 --> 00:02:55,103 who, like me, have been kept down by The Man. 56 00:02:56,989 --> 00:03:01,288 Now, Fun with Flags is not just for the flag aficionado; 57 00:03:01,313 --> 00:03:05,183 it's also for the flag novice, so, to help me with that, 58 00:03:05,222 --> 00:03:08,530 please welcome my friend, neighbor, and flag virgin-- 59 00:03:08,567 --> 00:03:10,834 yeah, not a real virgin. 60 00:03:12,433 --> 00:03:14,704 She's had coitus many times. 61 00:03:16,626 --> 00:03:20,036 Sometimes within earshot of this flag enthusiast. 62 00:03:20,725 --> 00:03:23,510 Once while he was trying to watch The Incredibles. 63 00:03:24,431 --> 00:03:26,103 Penny. 64 00:03:27,432 --> 00:03:28,928 Hello. 65 00:03:29,060 --> 00:03:30,704 So, Penny, I understand 66 00:03:30,722 --> 00:03:32,876 you would like to learn more about flags. 67 00:03:32,978 --> 00:03:34,609 Yeah, I can't tell you how many times 68 00:03:34,627 --> 00:03:36,695 I've been at a party where everyone's talking about flags 69 00:03:36,708 --> 00:03:38,937 and I just couldn't join in. - Yeah. 70 00:03:39,411 --> 00:03:41,628 Well, you came to the right place. 71 00:03:44,847 --> 00:03:47,696 Uh, I'm sorry, can we just pause for a minute? 72 00:03:49,487 --> 00:03:50,507 What's wrong? 73 00:03:50,519 --> 00:03:52,504 I just think it might look more natural 74 00:03:52,516 --> 00:03:54,481 if you talked to me instead of the camera, 75 00:03:54,499 --> 00:03:56,425 you know, like, like a real conversation. 76 00:03:56,437 --> 00:03:58,521 It's something we work on in my acting class. 77 00:03:58,733 --> 00:03:59,982 Interesting. 78 00:04:00,178 --> 00:04:02,575 A few people in the comments section have said 79 00:04:02,606 --> 00:04:04,960 that my delivery is robotic. 80 00:04:06,751 --> 00:04:09,152 Perhaps that isn't the compliment it sounds like. 81 00:04:10,485 --> 00:04:12,179 Yeah, let's try it again, and maybe, this time, 82 00:04:12,203 --> 00:04:14,026 you could work on your body language a bit. 83 00:04:14,092 --> 00:04:16,113 You know, when you're all hunched like that, 84 00:04:16,131 --> 00:04:17,383 you're shutting the audience out, 85 00:04:17,414 --> 00:04:19,700 but when you're relaxed and open, 86 00:04:19,724 --> 00:04:21,481 you're inviting them in. 87 00:04:21,586 --> 00:04:23,202 Right. 88 00:04:24,073 --> 00:04:26,403 And which one do I want? 89 00:04:27,496 --> 00:04:28,731 Let's try open. 90 00:04:28,818 --> 00:04:30,739 If our friend, the flag, has taught me anything, 91 00:04:30,751 --> 00:04:32,853 it's to go where the wind takes you. 92 00:04:32,878 --> 00:04:35,860 As long as you remain firmly attached to a rigid pole. 93 00:04:37,106 --> 00:04:38,973 And... action. 94 00:04:40,000 --> 00:04:46,074 95 00:04:49,197 --> 00:04:50,797 So, Penny... 96 00:04:50,910 --> 00:04:54,874 what sort of flag questions keep you awake at night? 97 00:04:59,712 --> 00:05:02,061 Um, well, I'm from Nebraska. 98 00:05:02,114 --> 00:05:04,331 So what can you tell me about the state flag? 99 00:05:04,640 --> 00:05:06,841 Gosh, Penny... 100 00:05:07,574 --> 00:05:09,199 what'd you have for breakfast? 101 00:05:09,230 --> 00:05:12,542 A big glass of good question juice? 102 00:05:13,022 --> 00:05:16,462 The Nebraska state flag is simply the state seal 103 00:05:16,486 --> 00:05:18,634 on a field of blue. 104 00:05:31,067 --> 00:05:33,301 Spread your legs; invite them in. 105 00:05:38,679 --> 00:05:40,380 I'm telling you, something's wrong. 106 00:05:40,399 --> 00:05:42,912 I can always feel it when Raj is in trouble. 107 00:05:42,946 --> 00:05:45,211 Geez, how close were you guys before we got married? 108 00:05:45,230 --> 00:05:47,230 Don't look under that rock. 109 00:05:49,120 --> 00:05:51,105 - Raj, you okay? - You in there? 110 00:05:51,145 --> 00:05:52,478 Go away! 111 00:05:53,209 --> 00:05:54,717 Come on, buddy, open up. 112 00:05:54,742 --> 00:05:56,158 We're worried about you. 113 00:05:56,200 --> 00:05:58,338 Oh, just because I stopped going to work 114 00:05:58,362 --> 00:06:01,507 and answering my phone you think something bad happened? 115 00:06:02,264 --> 00:06:04,607 Maybe something good happened. 116 00:06:04,737 --> 00:06:06,570 Did something good happen? 117 00:06:06,698 --> 00:06:09,986 Of course not! Nothing good ever happens! 118 00:06:14,575 --> 00:06:16,126 Whoa. 119 00:06:16,816 --> 00:06:17,632 What? 120 00:06:17,701 --> 00:06:19,683 Nope, just-just... whoa. 121 00:06:25,969 --> 00:06:28,451 It smells pretty ripe in here. 122 00:06:29,693 --> 00:06:32,662 You kind feel it in your eyes. 123 00:06:33,255 --> 00:06:34,763 Raj, what's going on? 124 00:06:35,222 --> 00:06:38,103 I was humiliated by yet another woman. 125 00:06:38,377 --> 00:06:40,070 You didn't kill her and chop her up-- 126 00:06:40,101 --> 00:06:41,953 that's not what we're smelling, right? 127 00:06:42,466 --> 00:06:43,965 No. 128 00:06:44,091 --> 00:06:45,571 I took her for coffee, 129 00:06:45,589 --> 00:06:48,633 and she snuck out the bathroom window to get away from me. 130 00:06:48,689 --> 00:06:50,575 Oh, you poor baby. 131 00:06:50,715 --> 00:06:51,959 I went and looked. 132 00:06:51,996 --> 00:06:54,069 It was a high and tiny window. 133 00:06:55,739 --> 00:06:57,876 She must have been very motivated. 134 00:06:58,964 --> 00:07:01,696 I'm sorry. That's awful, but come on. 135 00:07:01,721 --> 00:07:03,221 You got to shake it off. 136 00:07:03,246 --> 00:07:04,713 Yeah, you can't stay in your apartment 137 00:07:04,739 --> 00:07:06,104 for the rest of your life. 138 00:07:06,150 --> 00:07:07,319 Why not? 139 00:07:07,421 --> 00:07:09,617 With online shopping and overnight delivery, 140 00:07:09,642 --> 00:07:11,430 I can get anything I want. 141 00:07:11,506 --> 00:07:12,178 Look, 142 00:07:12,203 --> 00:07:15,256 I just ordered a case of Dinty Moore beef stew 143 00:07:15,392 --> 00:07:17,978 and two live lobsters on Amazon. 144 00:07:18,708 --> 00:07:19,822 Lobsters overnight? 145 00:07:19,834 --> 00:07:21,464 Oh, you're kidding. Let me see. 146 00:07:21,602 --> 00:07:22,956 Well, I'll be. 147 00:07:22,975 --> 00:07:24,576 Look, you can throw in a couple steaks 148 00:07:24,613 --> 00:07:26,396 and have a surf and turf. 149 00:07:27,205 --> 00:07:30,036 The surf and turf sounds good. See if they corn on the cob. 150 00:07:31,671 --> 00:07:32,447 Guys! 151 00:07:32,465 --> 00:07:35,015 We're trying to get him out of here, not you in. 152 00:07:36,160 --> 00:07:37,560 You're wasting your time. 153 00:07:37,745 --> 00:07:40,713 Just please, leave me alone. 154 00:07:44,831 --> 00:07:45,926 Now what? 155 00:07:45,939 --> 00:07:47,376 I don't know. 156 00:07:48,178 --> 00:07:51,137 We could go to Red Lobster and talk about it. 157 00:07:52,807 --> 00:07:53,940 We're all thinking it. 158 00:07:53,971 --> 00:07:56,522 I just had the decency to wait for him to leave. 159 00:08:04,206 --> 00:08:05,494 Hello, Sheldon. 160 00:08:05,563 --> 00:08:06,679 Hello. 161 00:08:06,800 --> 00:08:09,712 How's the final stage of your nicotine addiction study going? 162 00:08:10,756 --> 00:08:12,322 Fine. 163 00:08:12,923 --> 00:08:15,307 Just hold on. Mommy's on the phone! 164 00:08:18,023 --> 00:08:19,129 Sorry. 165 00:08:19,187 --> 00:08:21,177 We've cut the monkeys down to one cigarette a day, 166 00:08:21,208 --> 00:08:22,991 so things are a little intense. 167 00:08:24,374 --> 00:08:26,562 Makes me miss my marijuana-abusing flatworms. 168 00:08:26,584 --> 00:08:28,770 Those guys were mellow. 169 00:08:29,744 --> 00:08:30,731 Good news. 170 00:08:30,749 --> 00:08:33,999 Uh, the latest episode of Fun with Flags is online. 171 00:08:34,050 --> 00:08:35,931 Oh, that's right. How'd it go with Penny? 172 00:08:35,963 --> 00:08:37,809 Much better than I expected. 173 00:08:38,008 --> 00:08:40,392 She even gave me some helpful tips 174 00:08:40,404 --> 00:08:42,594 about acting and body language. 175 00:08:42,786 --> 00:08:44,208 Watch. 176 00:08:45,201 --> 00:08:47,553 Welcome to my world. 177 00:08:48,474 --> 00:08:50,610 Not welcome to my world. 178 00:08:51,877 --> 00:08:52,846 Welcome. 179 00:08:52,877 --> 00:08:54,719 Not welcome. 180 00:08:55,801 --> 00:08:57,628 Subtle, but powerful. 181 00:08:57,719 --> 00:08:58,583 I know. 182 00:08:58,602 --> 00:09:00,998 I'm still learning to control it. 183 00:09:01,867 --> 00:09:04,084 Did you tell Penny how helpful she was? 184 00:09:04,268 --> 00:09:05,884 Why would I do that? 185 00:09:06,380 --> 00:09:09,165 Because she's your friend, and she did a nice job. 186 00:09:09,183 --> 00:09:10,733 I'm sure she'd like to hear it. 187 00:09:12,452 --> 00:09:13,925 All right. 188 00:09:14,598 --> 00:09:16,862 I didn't mean now. Hello? 189 00:09:20,007 --> 00:09:21,520 Yeah, yeah, you want a cigarette. 190 00:09:21,544 --> 00:09:22,719 Well, I'd like a normal boyfriend. 191 00:09:22,734 --> 00:09:24,322 Deal with it. 192 00:09:27,148 --> 00:09:28,795 Oh, hi. What's up? 193 00:09:29,070 --> 00:09:30,647 Um... 194 00:09:32,008 --> 00:09:35,078 You need me to shut the door so you can do your knocking thing? 195 00:09:36,846 --> 00:09:37,465 No. 196 00:09:37,483 --> 00:09:39,151 I didn't start yet; it's fine. 197 00:09:39,182 --> 00:09:41,173 Okay. So, what do you need? 198 00:09:41,263 --> 00:09:43,030 Well, I was thinking 199 00:09:43,055 --> 00:09:45,646 about you helping me out last night... 200 00:09:46,598 --> 00:09:47,974 Penny. 201 00:09:50,522 --> 00:09:52,936 And I just wanted to tell you... 202 00:09:53,238 --> 00:09:54,488 Penny. 203 00:09:55,434 --> 00:09:57,893 ...that the answer to the question, 204 00:09:57,918 --> 00:10:00,502 "Who did a great job?" is you. 205 00:10:01,614 --> 00:10:03,279 Penny. 206 00:10:04,417 --> 00:10:05,210 Really? 207 00:10:05,229 --> 00:10:07,992 Yes, you were very natural in front of the camera, 208 00:10:08,049 --> 00:10:10,901 and I found your suggestions extremely helpful. 209 00:10:11,459 --> 00:10:14,316 Aw, sweetie, you just made my day. 210 00:10:14,705 --> 00:10:15,773 Okay. 211 00:10:17,023 --> 00:10:19,678 Hey, my acting class is putting on a play Friday night. 212 00:10:19,696 --> 00:10:21,439 I could put you and Amy on the guest list. 213 00:10:21,664 --> 00:10:24,478 Oh, that sounds terrible. Why would I want to do that? 214 00:10:26,345 --> 00:10:27,778 That's right. 215 00:10:27,962 --> 00:10:30,904 They're no good without the lighter. 216 00:10:31,865 --> 00:10:34,571 Well, so much for your advice on complimenting Penny. 217 00:10:34,590 --> 00:10:35,759 Why? What happened? 218 00:10:35,796 --> 00:10:39,271 She tried to rope us into going to her acting class to see a play. 219 00:10:39,359 --> 00:10:40,318 Don't worry. 220 00:10:40,336 --> 00:10:43,578 Luckily, I had the good sense to drown that kitten in the river. 221 00:10:45,992 --> 00:10:48,045 Sheldon, that's very rude. 222 00:10:48,083 --> 00:10:49,495 She helped you with your show. 223 00:10:49,520 --> 00:10:52,624 The right thing to do is reciprocate by going to see her play. 224 00:10:53,634 --> 00:10:55,628 Oh, so many crazy rules. 225 00:10:59,539 --> 00:11:02,099 That better be Tootsie Rolls you're throwing at me! 226 00:11:05,513 --> 00:11:07,559 Penny. Penny. 227 00:11:08,059 --> 00:11:08,816 Penny. 228 00:11:08,841 --> 00:11:10,474 Oh yeah, much better. 229 00:11:12,753 --> 00:11:13,579 What? 230 00:11:13,644 --> 00:11:15,041 Amy pointed out to me 231 00:11:15,059 --> 00:11:17,535 that since you did something nice for me, 232 00:11:17,571 --> 00:11:20,447 I'm obligated to do something nice for you. 233 00:11:20,580 --> 00:11:21,474 So... 234 00:11:21,499 --> 00:11:24,009 yes, I'll go to your dopey play. 235 00:11:25,747 --> 00:11:27,364 Hey, I don't want you to go anymore. 236 00:11:27,491 --> 00:11:28,290 Why not? 237 00:11:28,315 --> 00:11:30,859 You should go 'cause you want to go, not because you have to. 238 00:11:30,927 --> 00:11:33,801 Oh, Dear Lord, more rules? Where does it stop? 239 00:11:34,543 --> 00:11:36,710 Can I want to go 240 00:11:36,766 --> 00:11:39,723 because I have to want to go? 241 00:11:40,147 --> 00:11:41,312 Okay. Do whatever you want. 242 00:11:41,342 --> 00:11:43,042 Yeah, but now, wait. 243 00:11:43,336 --> 00:11:45,136 Do whatever I want... 244 00:11:45,552 --> 00:11:47,948 or whatever I have to want? 245 00:11:49,148 --> 00:11:51,499 Oh, for God's sake, just come to the play. 246 00:11:51,633 --> 00:11:52,681 All right. 247 00:11:52,763 --> 00:11:54,970 I don't want to, but at least that makes sense. 248 00:12:00,257 --> 00:12:03,468 You know, I haven't seen Raj in several days. 249 00:12:03,828 --> 00:12:06,383 Is he no longer a part of our social group? 250 00:12:06,900 --> 00:12:10,203 And if so, should we be interviewing for a replacement? 251 00:12:11,461 --> 00:12:14,063 Perhaps, this time, we go Latin. 252 00:12:18,675 --> 00:12:21,781 He's just decided he's never leaving his apartment again. 253 00:12:21,814 --> 00:12:23,103 Oh, brilliant. 254 00:12:23,127 --> 00:12:25,583 I've been itching to pull that trigger. 255 00:12:26,392 --> 00:12:29,860 He's upset because he can't get anywhere with women. 256 00:12:30,823 --> 00:12:33,453 Would it help if I gave him some pointers? 257 00:12:37,764 --> 00:12:39,943 I'm just funnin' ya. 258 00:12:44,908 --> 00:12:45,991 Hi. 259 00:12:46,012 --> 00:12:47,390 I don't know if you remember me, 260 00:12:47,414 --> 00:12:49,662 but I was here the other night at your party. 261 00:12:49,734 --> 00:12:52,524 Oh, yeah, you left with Raj. 262 00:12:52,561 --> 00:12:54,137 Uh, yeah. 263 00:12:54,213 --> 00:12:55,863 You're the one? 264 00:12:56,222 --> 00:12:59,305 Okay, let me tell you something. That guy you blew off 265 00:12:59,335 --> 00:13:01,752 happens to be my best friend. 266 00:13:01,798 --> 00:13:03,414 Okay? He was devastated. 267 00:13:04,603 --> 00:13:05,891 Sorry. 268 00:13:06,404 --> 00:13:08,310 Can you just give him this? 269 00:13:08,907 --> 00:13:10,170 Okay. 270 00:13:10,264 --> 00:13:14,689 But I gotta warn you, Raj is a proud, passionate man. 271 00:13:14,719 --> 00:13:17,475 If you go running out on him again, you're... 272 00:13:17,933 --> 00:13:20,398 only gonna get, like, three or four more chances 273 00:13:20,419 --> 00:13:22,202 before you are history. 274 00:13:24,621 --> 00:13:26,220 Come on, she came back. 275 00:13:26,222 --> 00:13:27,450 This is good news. 276 00:13:27,486 --> 00:13:28,639 You should celebrate. 277 00:13:28,676 --> 00:13:30,990 I don't want to celebrate. 278 00:13:36,407 --> 00:13:37,932 Not even a little? 279 00:13:37,958 --> 00:13:39,860 I mean... we could have a pants party. 280 00:13:39,879 --> 00:13:41,432 Go put some on. 281 00:13:42,212 --> 00:13:43,562 Why would I want her number? 282 00:13:43,581 --> 00:13:45,298 I don't want anything to do with this woman. 283 00:13:45,337 --> 00:13:47,087 - Oh, come on, Raj... - No, you don't get it. 284 00:13:47,120 --> 00:13:49,420 I want nothing to do with any woman. 285 00:13:49,684 --> 00:13:51,503 My heart is stone. 286 00:13:53,227 --> 00:13:55,033 From now on, I'm a monk. 287 00:13:55,059 --> 00:13:57,433 I renounce all worldly pleasures. 288 00:13:58,211 --> 00:13:59,828 Except for lobster. 289 00:14:01,054 --> 00:14:02,949 And garlic butter. 290 00:14:04,135 --> 00:14:05,748 Boy, I want to tell you it's her loss, 291 00:14:05,772 --> 00:14:07,994 but you are not making it easy. 292 00:14:10,039 --> 00:14:12,988 You're-you're a good friend for trying to help, but... 293 00:14:13,408 --> 00:14:15,024 I've made my choice. 294 00:14:16,033 --> 00:14:17,150 All right. 295 00:14:17,358 --> 00:14:19,851 Well, I'll see you around. 296 00:14:20,044 --> 00:14:21,238 See you. 297 00:14:21,540 --> 00:14:24,092 Oh, wait-- take her number. 298 00:14:24,279 --> 00:14:26,051 I don't want the temptation. 299 00:14:26,328 --> 00:14:27,634 Okay. 300 00:14:27,875 --> 00:14:30,684 I must be strong so I don't stray from my true purpose: 301 00:14:30,794 --> 00:14:33,011 the study of the universe. 302 00:14:35,700 --> 00:14:37,282 All right. 303 00:14:43,567 --> 00:14:45,901 Thanks for ruining lobster for me. 304 00:14:51,278 --> 00:14:52,245 Wait! 305 00:14:52,265 --> 00:14:53,630 Give me the number! 306 00:14:55,612 --> 00:14:56,819 Give me the number! 307 00:14:56,895 --> 00:14:58,595 Give me the number! 308 00:15:00,002 --> 00:15:03,403 So, Amy, what's going on with your addiction study? 309 00:15:03,873 --> 00:15:06,348 Sadly, I'm no longer associated with that project. 310 00:15:06,428 --> 00:15:07,678 Why? What happened? 311 00:15:07,719 --> 00:15:09,669 Typical bureaucratic nonsense. 312 00:15:09,789 --> 00:15:12,170 You can get animals addicted to a harmful substance, 313 00:15:12,207 --> 00:15:13,506 you can dissect their brains, 314 00:15:13,527 --> 00:15:15,396 but you throw their own feces back at them 315 00:15:15,421 --> 00:15:17,430 and suddenly you're "unprofessional." 316 00:15:19,824 --> 00:15:21,191 I'm sorry... 317 00:15:22,107 --> 00:15:23,708 ...that I asked. 318 00:15:25,250 --> 00:15:27,800 All right, let's get this stupid play over with. 319 00:15:27,822 --> 00:15:28,935 Uh, hang on. 320 00:15:28,953 --> 00:15:30,116 Empty your pockets. 321 00:15:30,275 --> 00:15:31,738 - Why? - You know why. 322 00:15:31,756 --> 00:15:32,922 The Nintendo DS. 323 00:15:37,894 --> 00:15:39,014 And the PSP. 324 00:15:44,100 --> 00:15:45,445 Now the Gameboy. 325 00:15:45,975 --> 00:15:47,769 Aw, for Pete's sake. 326 00:15:49,181 --> 00:15:51,663 - Can we go now? - Well, is that all of it? 327 00:16:01,547 --> 00:16:03,398 Just set it down. 328 00:16:05,083 --> 00:16:07,201 Just so you know, this is not a stupid play. 329 00:16:07,229 --> 00:16:09,696 A Streetcar Named Desire is an American classic. 330 00:16:10,010 --> 00:16:11,732 It's about streetcars? 331 00:16:11,766 --> 00:16:14,971 Oh, great. I won't need this. 332 00:16:28,922 --> 00:16:30,210 Just a sec. 333 00:16:30,320 --> 00:16:32,301 Oh, who says "just a sec"? 334 00:16:32,320 --> 00:16:33,715 I hate myself! 335 00:16:38,909 --> 00:16:40,104 Hello. 336 00:16:40,233 --> 00:16:41,204 Hi. 337 00:16:41,222 --> 00:16:42,605 Uh, would you like to come in? 338 00:16:42,681 --> 00:16:45,482 Oh, no, I can't stay. 339 00:16:45,734 --> 00:16:46,928 Oh. 340 00:16:47,363 --> 00:16:49,046 I just wanted to say... 341 00:16:49,354 --> 00:16:51,567 I'm sorry for running out of the coffee shop. 342 00:16:51,634 --> 00:16:52,899 That wasn't cool. 343 00:16:52,963 --> 00:16:54,096 So, uh... 344 00:16:54,835 --> 00:16:56,091 Yeah. 345 00:16:56,381 --> 00:16:57,831 I'm sorry. 346 00:16:58,702 --> 00:16:59,952 Wait. 347 00:17:01,684 --> 00:17:04,242 Can you at least tell me what went wrong? 348 00:17:04,762 --> 00:17:06,506 It's okay. I can take anything. 349 00:17:06,633 --> 00:17:08,670 Unless it's something I did, or said, or am. 350 00:17:08,693 --> 00:17:10,236 'Cause those are, like, my buttons. 351 00:17:12,958 --> 00:17:15,165 No, it's not any of that. 352 00:17:15,329 --> 00:17:16,660 It's just... 353 00:17:17,271 --> 00:17:20,777 I kind of have a hard time around people I don't know. 354 00:17:20,927 --> 00:17:22,143 Really? 355 00:17:22,201 --> 00:17:24,797 Then what were you doing at the comic book store that night? 356 00:17:25,576 --> 00:17:27,975 I've been trying to force myself into situations 357 00:17:27,999 --> 00:17:29,541 that I'm not comfortable with. 358 00:17:29,950 --> 00:17:32,012 I saw the flyer in the store window, 359 00:17:32,031 --> 00:17:34,056 and I made myself go in. 360 00:17:34,280 --> 00:17:36,066 I don't even like comic books. 361 00:17:36,096 --> 00:17:37,368 Yeah, me neither. 362 00:17:37,393 --> 00:17:38,512 Then what were you doing there? 363 00:17:38,544 --> 00:17:40,544 I lied. I love them. 364 00:17:42,700 --> 00:17:44,736 I only said that so you'd go out with me. 365 00:17:45,445 --> 00:17:46,995 Oh, you don't want to do that. 366 00:17:47,068 --> 00:17:48,551 I'm kind of broken. 367 00:17:48,811 --> 00:17:49,899 That's great. 368 00:17:49,929 --> 00:17:51,000 I'm broken, too. 369 00:17:51,032 --> 00:17:52,982 - Oh, no, you're not. - Oh, I totally am. 370 00:17:53,012 --> 00:17:54,518 If it wasn't for this beer, 371 00:17:54,543 --> 00:17:56,051 I couldn't even talk to you right now. 372 00:17:56,054 --> 00:17:57,058 I'm a wreck. 373 00:17:57,089 --> 00:18:00,067 There are many things seriously wrong with me. 374 00:18:01,315 --> 00:18:02,979 And not quirks, either. 375 00:18:03,019 --> 00:18:07,856 Like... diagnosable psychological problems. 376 00:18:09,753 --> 00:18:11,570 Maybe brain damage. 377 00:18:13,970 --> 00:18:17,289 Well, how do I know you're not just saying that? 378 00:18:18,708 --> 00:18:20,683 Go out with me on one date, 379 00:18:20,752 --> 00:18:22,886 and I promise you, you'll see. 380 00:18:25,002 --> 00:18:26,362 Okay. 381 00:18:26,501 --> 00:18:27,834 Text me. 382 00:18:28,054 --> 00:18:29,470 Bye. 383 00:18:30,170 --> 00:18:31,176 You won't regret it. 384 00:18:31,224 --> 00:18:33,573 I'm the most pathetic guy you've ever met. 385 00:18:35,496 --> 00:18:37,609 And that, boys and girls... 386 00:18:37,716 --> 00:18:39,883 is how it's done. 387 00:18:44,885 --> 00:18:47,299 You love her very much, don't you? 388 00:18:47,864 --> 00:18:48,796 Yes. 389 00:18:49,259 --> 00:18:52,210 I think you have a great capacity for devotion. 390 00:18:52,636 --> 00:18:55,637 You'll be lonely when she passes on, won't you? 391 00:18:57,362 --> 00:18:58,937 I understand what that is. 392 00:18:59,405 --> 00:19:00,337 To be lonely? 393 00:19:00,366 --> 00:19:01,696 She's pretty good, huh? 394 00:19:01,776 --> 00:19:03,226 She is. 395 00:19:03,895 --> 00:19:06,914 But when do they get to the part about streetcars? 396 00:19:10,007 --> 00:19:12,122 ...when I was a very young girl. 397 00:19:13,198 --> 00:19:16,277 When I was 16 years old, I made the discovery... 398 00:19:17,204 --> 00:19:18,579 love. 399 00:19:20,017 --> 00:19:23,317 All at once, and much, much too completely. 400 00:19:24,591 --> 00:19:26,659 It was like you suddenly turned a blinding light 401 00:19:26,679 --> 00:19:29,296 on something that had always been half a shadow. 402 00:19:30,601 --> 00:19:32,836 That's how it struck the world for me. 403 00:19:34,772 --> 00:19:36,766 But I was unlucky. 404 00:19:37,513 --> 00:19:38,813 Deluded. 405 00:19:39,118 --> 00:19:41,426 - She's remarkable. - She really is. 406 00:19:41,506 --> 00:19:43,031 Our Penny's a star. 407 00:19:43,043 --> 00:19:44,554 ...and softness and tenderness which... 408 00:19:44,591 --> 00:19:46,761 How can she remember all those lines, 409 00:19:46,780 --> 00:19:48,624 but as a waitress, she can't remember 410 00:19:48,648 --> 00:19:50,648 "no tomato" on my hamburger? 410 00:19:51,305 --> 00:20:51,670 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org