1
00:00:03,834 --> 00:00:06,774
"The entrance to the dungeon
is a moss covered door.
2
00:00:06,775 --> 00:00:09,242
"You manage to open it
only to find yourself
3
00:00:09,244 --> 00:00:12,045
"face-to-face with a hideous,
foul-smelling,
4
00:00:12,047 --> 00:00:13,730
moss-covered ogre."
5
00:00:13,732 --> 00:00:15,865
What do you do?
6
00:00:15,867 --> 00:00:18,768
I say, "Hey, Ma,
what's for dinner?"
7
00:00:21,372 --> 00:00:23,656
Seventeen.
8
00:00:23,658 --> 00:00:27,660
The ogre is amused by your joke
and allows you to pass.
9
00:00:28,412 --> 00:00:31,498
By the by, I liked it, too.
10
00:00:33,050 --> 00:00:34,784
How go the wedding plans,
Howard?
11
00:00:34,786 --> 00:00:36,753
Great.
We spent five hours last night
12
00:00:36,755 --> 00:00:38,505
at Macy's registering for gifts.
13
00:00:38,507 --> 00:00:39,956
Looks like I'm finally going
to have
14
00:00:39,958 --> 00:00:41,791
that darling little earthenware
asparagus dish
15
00:00:41,793 --> 00:00:42,959
I've always wanted.
16
00:00:42,961 --> 00:00:44,460
See, this is the good thing
17
00:00:44,462 --> 00:00:47,096
about having a girlfriend
9,000 miles away.
18
00:00:47,098 --> 00:00:49,799
I can spend my nights
doing whatever I want.
19
00:00:49,801 --> 00:00:51,701
You mean like playing nerd games
with us
20
00:00:51,703 --> 00:00:55,137
and then taking
a suspiciously long shower?
21
00:00:56,825 --> 00:00:59,026
Maybe.
22
00:00:59,945 --> 00:01:02,646
We enter the dungeon.
23
00:01:02,648 --> 00:01:04,448
You see a dragon.
24
00:01:04,450 --> 00:01:06,951
Really? So we're playing
Dungeons & Dragons
25
00:01:06,953 --> 00:01:09,670
and we walk into a dungeon
and see a dragon?
26
00:01:11,739 --> 00:01:14,173
Isn't that a little
on the nose?
27
00:01:14,175 --> 00:01:16,709
When you play Chutes and
Ladders, do you complain
28
00:01:16,711 --> 00:01:19,045
about all the chutes
and all the ladders?
29
00:01:20,163 --> 00:01:23,349
Are you gonna eat
that whole pie?
30
00:01:23,351 --> 00:01:25,635
Maybe. Why not?
31
00:01:25,637 --> 00:01:28,671
Who do I have in my life
to watch my figure for?
32
00:01:29,974 --> 00:01:32,058
Oh, God, did you watch
Bridget Jones again?
33
00:01:32,977 --> 00:01:35,728
No, it's just that
everybody's got someone.
34
00:01:35,730 --> 00:01:38,364
Sheldon's with Amy,
Howard's getting married,
35
00:01:38,366 --> 00:01:39,849
you're dating my sister.
36
00:01:39,851 --> 00:01:41,484
Now that Howard's
getting married,
37
00:01:41,486 --> 00:01:44,186
maybe he'll inflate one of
his old girlfriends for you.
38
00:01:45,522 --> 00:01:47,240
You know who I blame
for my loneliness?
39
00:01:47,242 --> 00:01:48,524
The United States of America.
40
00:01:48,526 --> 00:01:51,544
Your movies and your TV shows
promised streets paved
41
00:01:51,546 --> 00:01:54,998
with beautiful blonde women
with big bazongas.
42
00:01:55,966 --> 00:01:58,585
Eat another pie,
you'll have your own bazongas.
43
00:01:59,503 --> 00:02:00,703
That's cruel.
44
00:02:00,705 --> 00:02:02,422
You know it goes
straight to my hips.
45
00:02:03,474 --> 00:02:04,974
Gentlemen, please focus.
46
00:02:04,976 --> 00:02:07,477
You're facing
a fire-breathing dragon.
47
00:02:07,479 --> 00:02:09,145
I don't know if I want
to play anymore.
48
00:02:09,147 --> 00:02:11,931
Because you don't have
a girlfriend?
49
00:02:11,933 --> 00:02:13,566
Well, good Lord,
if that becomes a reason not
50
00:02:13,568 --> 00:02:16,603
to play Dungeons & Dragons, this
game's in serious trouble.
51
00:02:17,688 --> 00:02:21,107
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
52
00:02:21,109 --> 00:02:24,577
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
53
00:02:24,579 --> 00:02:26,279
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
54
00:02:26,281 --> 00:02:28,564
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
55
00:02:28,566 --> 00:02:31,284
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
56
00:02:31,286 --> 00:02:34,087
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
57
00:02:34,089 --> 00:02:35,626
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
58
00:02:35,627 --> 00:02:36,338
♪ Bang! ♪
59
00:02:42,679 --> 00:02:45,640
Now, I assume we use
this same wax later on
60
00:02:45,641 --> 00:02:47,941
to neaten up
each other's bikini regions.
61
00:02:47,943 --> 00:02:51,111
Yeah, my bikini region
is fine.
62
00:02:51,113 --> 00:02:53,463
Who's shocked? I'm not.
63
00:02:56,235 --> 00:02:58,601
So, Bernadette, how's the
wedding planning going?
64
00:02:58,603 --> 00:03:00,954
And I'm not asking
as a prospective bridesmaid.
65
00:03:00,956 --> 00:03:03,490
Pick me! Pick me!
66
00:03:04,659 --> 00:03:08,295
We went cake-tasting yesterday.
67
00:03:08,297 --> 00:03:09,612
Raj came along.
68
00:03:09,614 --> 00:03:12,949
He cried and ate half
the samples.
69
00:03:12,951 --> 00:03:15,085
Oh, the poor guy's so lonely.
70
00:03:15,087 --> 00:03:16,920
We should set him up
with someone.
71
00:03:16,922 --> 00:03:20,456
You know, I met
a really cute girl at work.
72
00:03:20,458 --> 00:03:23,393
She's married to a guy
in one of our drug trials.
73
00:03:24,395 --> 00:03:26,112
Well, hello?
74
00:03:26,114 --> 00:03:27,530
She's married.
75
00:03:27,532 --> 00:03:29,316
Yeah, but her husband is in
76
00:03:29,318 --> 00:03:31,301
serious congestive
heart failure,
77
00:03:31,303 --> 00:03:36,489
and a little birdie told me
he's in the placebo group.
78
00:03:38,142 --> 00:03:40,610
Okay, so future
grief-stricken widow
79
00:03:40,612 --> 00:03:42,162
is the one to beat.
80
00:03:44,448 --> 00:03:46,366
Are we ready to order?
81
00:03:46,368 --> 00:03:47,334
One moment.
82
00:03:47,336 --> 00:03:49,202
I'm conducting
an experiment.
83
00:03:49,204 --> 00:03:53,173
With Dungeons
& Dragons dice?
84
00:03:54,342 --> 00:03:56,960
Yes. From here on in,
I've decided
85
00:03:56,962 --> 00:03:59,829
to make all trivial decisions
with a throw of the dice,
86
00:03:59,831 --> 00:04:01,181
thus freeing up my mind
87
00:04:01,183 --> 00:04:04,768
do what it does best--
enlighten and amaze.
88
00:04:05,936 --> 00:04:10,357
Page 14,
item seven.
89
00:04:10,359 --> 00:04:11,891
So, what's for dinner?
90
00:04:11,893 --> 00:04:15,061
A side of corn
succotash.
91
00:04:15,780 --> 00:04:17,280
Hmm. Interesting.
92
00:04:17,282 --> 00:04:20,516
Um, Howard, can I see you
for a minute, please?
93
00:04:20,518 --> 00:04:22,819
I don't want to show any more
of your friends
94
00:04:22,821 --> 00:04:26,156
how I can fit
in the booster seats.
95
00:04:26,158 --> 00:04:29,192
Uh, no, that's not it.
Just come with me, please.
96
00:04:30,861 --> 00:04:34,197
Let's see what I'll be washing
that succotash down with.
97
00:04:37,084 --> 00:04:38,885
A pitcher of margaritas.
98
00:04:40,671 --> 00:04:42,756
Do you really want that?
99
00:04:42,758 --> 00:04:44,224
That's the great thing.
100
00:04:44,226 --> 00:04:45,558
It doesn't matter.
101
00:04:45,560 --> 00:04:49,145
My mind is freed up to think
about more important things.
102
00:04:49,147 --> 00:04:51,014
What's it thinking
about now?
103
00:04:51,016 --> 00:04:53,433
Hamburgers and lemonade.
104
00:04:54,602 --> 00:04:58,071
Um, Raj, there's someone
I want you to meet.
105
00:04:58,073 --> 00:05:00,607
This is my friend Emily.
I know her from my spin class.
106
00:05:03,444 --> 00:05:06,479
Raj, relax.
She can't hear you. She's deaf.
107
00:05:07,331 --> 00:05:11,734
Emily, this is
our friend Raj.
108
00:05:12,703 --> 00:05:14,537
Oh!
109
00:05:14,539 --> 00:05:17,573
Look at you guys
just hitting it off.
110
00:05:17,575 --> 00:05:19,242
I am so good.
111
00:05:25,049 --> 00:05:26,599
Hi.
112
00:05:28,769 --> 00:05:30,420
She says, "It's
nice to meet you""
113
00:05:30,422 --> 00:05:31,638
Does she really mean that
114
00:05:31,640 --> 00:05:33,356
or was she signing it
sarcastically?
115
00:05:34,859 --> 00:05:39,028
Raj says it's nice
to meet you, too.
116
00:05:39,030 --> 00:05:41,448
She says she has to go
back to her family,
117
00:05:41,450 --> 00:05:43,650
but Penny has her
number if you want
118
00:05:43,652 --> 00:05:45,535
to text her and
get together.
119
00:05:45,537 --> 00:05:47,770
Okay, I'm going to play it cool.
120
00:05:47,772 --> 00:05:52,208
Tell her,
"Maybe. Whatever, babe."
121
00:05:54,111 --> 00:05:56,129
He'll text you.
122
00:05:58,666 --> 00:06:01,384
Look at that. I have a date.
123
00:06:01,386 --> 00:06:02,952
I love America again.
124
00:06:06,674 --> 00:06:08,308
And now for dessert...
125
00:06:08,310 --> 00:06:11,294
Come on, hot fudge sundae,
come on, hot fudge sundae.
126
00:06:11,296 --> 00:06:13,313
Bam!
That's what I'm talking about!
127
00:06:16,484 --> 00:06:18,651
Okay, as soon
as she gets here,
128
00:06:18,653 --> 00:06:20,353
so she knows
I'm cool with it,
129
00:06:20,355 --> 00:06:22,655
I'm going to make a joke
about her being deaf.
130
00:06:26,026 --> 00:06:29,279
I was thinking, "Hey,
did you hear the one about...?
131
00:06:29,281 --> 00:06:31,147
Oh, no, I bet you didn't."
132
00:06:33,284 --> 00:06:37,420
Maybe we should revisit
your lonely fat guy plan.
133
00:06:37,422 --> 00:06:39,422
Oh, she's here.
134
00:06:39,957 --> 00:06:42,625
No joke.
135
00:06:47,881 --> 00:06:49,481
She says she's sorry
she's late.
136
00:06:49,483 --> 00:06:50,933
Tell her
it doesn't matter.
137
00:06:50,935 --> 00:06:54,019
Tell her, her eyes shimmer
like opalescent lilies
138
00:06:54,021 --> 00:06:58,273
in the lake of the palace
of the celestial maidens.
139
00:06:59,392 --> 00:07:00,943
Really?
140
00:07:00,945 --> 00:07:02,895
That's the first thing
you want to say?
141
00:07:02,897 --> 00:07:04,646
I worked on it all night.
Use it.
142
00:07:04,648 --> 00:07:06,732
Look, I don't know the
sign for opalescent.
143
00:07:06,734 --> 00:07:07,866
Then spell it.
144
00:07:07,868 --> 00:07:09,234
I don't know how to spell it.
145
00:07:09,236 --> 00:07:11,019
You're blowing this for me!
146
00:07:13,022 --> 00:07:14,740
He likes your eyes.
147
00:07:14,742 --> 00:07:17,192
You're making me sound
like a caveman.
148
00:07:18,361 --> 00:07:20,412
She says, "Thank you.
You have nice eyes, too."
149
00:07:20,414 --> 00:07:23,081
Really? Ask her how many
children she wants,
150
00:07:23,083 --> 00:07:26,385
and whatever number she says,
say, "Me, too."
151
00:07:29,205 --> 00:07:30,722
No.
152
00:07:30,724 --> 00:07:33,725
Fine. Tell her I have a deep,
sexy voice
153
00:07:33,727 --> 00:07:35,677
like James Earl Jones.
154
00:07:35,679 --> 00:07:39,515
She doesn't know what James
Earl Jones sounds like.
155
00:07:39,517 --> 00:07:42,818
Great.
Then she won't know I'm lying.
156
00:07:44,938 --> 00:07:47,990
Let's see, what else
can I tell you about me
157
00:07:47,992 --> 00:07:52,327
that would make you
like me?
158
00:07:52,329 --> 00:07:53,779
Ooh, I love music.
159
00:07:55,114 --> 00:07:56,748
Do you love music?
160
00:07:56,750 --> 00:08:01,036
You really want
to ask her that?
161
00:08:01,038 --> 00:08:03,839
You're right.
Everyone loves music.
162
00:08:05,842 --> 00:08:08,427
She says, "Do you play
an instrument?"
163
00:08:08,429 --> 00:08:10,078
No,
164
00:08:10,080 --> 00:08:11,430
but when I was
six years old,
165
00:08:11,432 --> 00:08:13,465
I tried to start
a boy band called
166
00:08:13,467 --> 00:08:16,218
Frankie Goes
to Bollywood.
167
00:08:18,888 --> 00:08:21,590
But I couldn't get
any other boys to join,
168
00:08:21,592 --> 00:08:23,559
so my parents asked
the servants
169
00:08:23,561 --> 00:08:26,028
to be my backup dancers.
170
00:08:26,030 --> 00:08:27,429
Wait, when you sign
"servants,"
171
00:08:27,431 --> 00:08:28,614
don't sign it
like I'm bragging.
172
00:08:28,616 --> 00:08:30,482
Sign it in a way
that I sound humble
173
00:08:30,484 --> 00:08:35,537
with just a hint of
"That's right, I had servants."
174
00:08:36,405 --> 00:08:38,457
Do you hear yourself
175
00:08:38,559 --> 00:08:41,310
Yes, but she doesn't.
So get signing, hand monkey.
176
00:08:44,965 --> 00:08:49,618
I think I wrote a letter
to Santa Claus every day.
177
00:08:49,620 --> 00:08:51,137
And then on Christmas morning,
178
00:08:51,139 --> 00:08:54,056
under the tree is
a little puppy
179
00:08:54,058 --> 00:08:56,308
with a red ribbon.
180
00:08:57,428 --> 00:08:58,677
What are you doing?
181
00:08:58,679 --> 00:09:00,846
Texting Bernadette that
I'm gonna be late.
182
00:09:01,464 --> 00:09:02,648
Dude, what is she saying?
183
00:09:02,650 --> 00:09:04,517
It's a funny story
about a puppy.
184
00:09:04,519 --> 00:09:06,135
Just smile and laugh.
185
00:09:08,738 --> 00:09:10,739
- Quick, quick, stop smiling.
- What? Why?
186
00:09:10,741 --> 00:09:12,942
The puppy died-- it
choked on a doll head.
187
00:09:12,944 --> 00:09:14,527
Sad face, sad face!
188
00:09:17,614 --> 00:09:19,865
It's a little hard
to see with the city lights,
189
00:09:19,867 --> 00:09:23,485
but that W-shaped constellation
is Cassiopeia.
190
00:09:23,487 --> 00:09:26,655
And she was the mother
of Andromeda who's over there.
191
00:09:27,924 --> 00:09:30,876
Look, pretty stars.
192
00:09:33,513 --> 00:09:36,999
This is her car.
193
00:09:37,001 --> 00:09:38,551
She hopes she can see you again
sometime.
194
00:09:38,553 --> 00:09:40,302
Good, good.
195
00:09:40,304 --> 00:09:41,937
Oh, boy,
196
00:09:41,939 --> 00:09:42,888
help me out here.
197
00:09:42,890 --> 00:09:44,673
Does she want me
to kiss her or not?
198
00:09:44,675 --> 00:09:47,342
I speak sign language,
I don't read minds.
199
00:09:47,344 --> 00:09:48,561
If you were me,
would you kiss her?
200
00:09:48,563 --> 00:09:51,013
Yeah, but I'm a make out king.
201
00:09:53,000 --> 00:09:59,074
Watch Online Movies and Series for FREE
www.osdb.link/lm
202
00:10:00,657 --> 00:10:04,193
I was so smooth
on that date.
203
00:10:04,195 --> 00:10:06,712
You? I made
you smooth.
204
00:10:06,714 --> 00:10:08,080
You were an idiot.
205
00:10:08,082 --> 00:10:09,548
Whatever, dude.
She kissed me.
206
00:10:09,550 --> 00:10:11,133
It might've been
on your lips,
207
00:10:11,135 --> 00:10:12,418
but it was my kiss.
208
00:10:12,420 --> 00:10:14,887
Oh, fine. Let's agree
she kissed both of us.
209
00:10:16,590 --> 00:10:18,207
Okay.
210
00:10:20,771 --> 00:10:23,522
Mustache is looking good
there, Sheldon.
211
00:10:26,581 --> 00:10:28,132
Don't thank me.
Thank the dice.
212
00:10:28,134 --> 00:10:31,585
They told me what percentage
of my face to shave.
213
00:10:31,587 --> 00:10:33,387
Why are you still doing this?
214
00:10:33,389 --> 00:10:34,838
Because it's working.
215
00:10:34,840 --> 00:10:36,473
In the past few weeks,
216
00:10:36,475 --> 00:10:38,342
unburdened by
trivial decisions,
217
00:10:38,344 --> 00:10:40,177
I've co-authored
two papers
218
00:10:40,179 --> 00:10:41,261
in notable peer-reviewed
journals,
219
00:10:41,263 --> 00:10:43,981
and I'm close to
figuring out why
220
00:10:43,983 --> 00:10:45,399
the Large Hadron
Collider has yet
221
00:10:45,401 --> 00:10:47,684
to isolate the Higgs
boson particle.
222
00:10:47,686 --> 00:10:50,053
You left out,
got chafed testicles
223
00:10:50,055 --> 00:10:52,656
because you no longer
wear underpants.
224
00:10:55,393 --> 00:10:58,562
The dice giveth
and the dice taketh away.
225
00:11:00,231 --> 00:11:02,166
Is Raj out
with Emily again?
226
00:11:02,168 --> 00:11:04,168
Yeah, every night
for the last month.
227
00:11:04,170 --> 00:11:06,253
Wow, can't believe
he has a girlfriend.
228
00:11:08,089 --> 00:11:09,623
Me neither.
229
00:11:11,042 --> 00:11:13,910
Here's some other fun news
on the Raj/Emily front.
230
00:11:13,912 --> 00:11:17,347
He gave her a pair of diamond
earrings and leased her a car.
231
00:11:17,349 --> 00:11:18,765
You're kidding.
232
00:11:18,767 --> 00:11:20,717
You think she's taking
advantage of him?
233
00:11:20,719 --> 00:11:21,935
Oh, of course not.
234
00:11:21,937 --> 00:11:23,637
She wouldn't do
something like that.
235
00:11:23,639 --> 00:11:25,355
She's deaf.
236
00:11:27,225 --> 00:11:30,310
Deaf women can't be
gold diggers?
237
00:11:30,312 --> 00:11:32,396
Handicapped people
are nice, Leonard.
238
00:11:32,398 --> 00:11:34,698
Everyone knows that.
239
00:11:35,567 --> 00:11:38,735
Yeah, I actually
have information about Raj
240
00:11:38,737 --> 00:11:40,821
that would be helpful
with this discussion.
241
00:11:44,492 --> 00:11:47,544
Could you tell us?
242
00:11:47,546 --> 00:11:49,746
Let's see.
243
00:11:51,633 --> 00:11:53,800
Snake eyes. Sorry, bud.
244
00:11:55,003 --> 00:11:56,336
Wait, hang on.
245
00:11:56,338 --> 00:11:57,721
Doubles.
Roll again.
246
00:12:00,675 --> 00:12:02,342
Okay, get this.
247
00:12:04,262 --> 00:12:06,563
It doesn't matter if
he's showering her with gifts,
248
00:12:06,565 --> 00:12:09,799
because the Koothrappalis
are vastly wealthy.
249
00:12:10,652 --> 00:12:12,019
What do you mean
"vastly wealthy"?
250
00:12:12,021 --> 00:12:14,321
Well, "wealthy" means
a lot of money.
251
00:12:14,323 --> 00:12:15,522
"Vastly" means even more.
252
00:12:15,524 --> 00:12:17,858
I'm not sure
what's tripping you up.
253
00:12:19,110 --> 00:12:21,028
Look, I know they have money.
I don't think it's that much.
254
00:12:21,030 --> 00:12:22,312
No, you're wrong.
255
00:12:22,314 --> 00:12:24,981
As you know, a few years ago,
I achieved one of
256
00:12:24,983 --> 00:12:27,618
my lesser dreams
and became a notary public.
257
00:12:27,620 --> 00:12:29,086
Well, from
time to time,
258
00:12:29,088 --> 00:12:32,623
I notarize
banking documents for Raj.
259
00:12:32,625 --> 00:12:37,327
The Koothrappalis aren't just
rich, they're Richie Rich rich.
260
00:12:39,546 --> 00:12:41,464
Well, so how much is that?
261
00:12:41,466 --> 00:12:45,218
About halfway between
Bruce Wayne and Scrooge McDuck.
262
00:12:46,103 --> 00:12:47,069
What the hell?
263
00:12:47,071 --> 00:12:48,688
The last time
we went to the zoo,
264
00:12:48,690 --> 00:12:51,357
that son of a bitch
made me buy him a churro.
265
00:12:51,359 --> 00:12:53,893
Listen, guys, I'm sorry,
I don't mean to be rude,
266
00:12:53,895 --> 00:12:57,480
but I need to go call Raj's
sister, who I love so much.
267
00:12:58,982 --> 00:13:01,867
So vastly much.
268
00:13:03,704 --> 00:13:08,708
Okay, so he's got money,
and it's a few gifts and a car.
269
00:13:08,710 --> 00:13:10,793
And she got him to pay off
all her credit cards.
270
00:13:10,795 --> 00:13:13,696
What? He paid off
her credit cards?
271
00:13:13,698 --> 00:13:16,632
Damn it, I could've dated Raj
for a couple months.
272
00:13:18,218 --> 00:13:20,469
But I-I wouldn't have, because
I'm not that kind of girl.
273
00:13:20,471 --> 00:13:22,305
We should really talk to Raj.
274
00:13:22,307 --> 00:13:25,141
He's not going to listen,
he's in love.
275
00:13:25,143 --> 00:13:26,842
Can't figure out what to do?
276
00:13:26,844 --> 00:13:29,061
I remember those days.
277
00:13:29,063 --> 00:13:32,398
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I have to...
278
00:13:32,400 --> 00:13:34,483
stay right here.
279
00:13:37,604 --> 00:13:39,238
Yeah, this is a bad idea.
280
00:13:39,240 --> 00:13:40,439
- We should go.
- No.
281
00:13:40,441 --> 00:13:42,074
I'm the one that
introduced him to her.
282
00:13:42,076 --> 00:13:43,609
I've got to
say something.
283
00:13:46,446 --> 00:13:48,080
Wow.
284
00:13:49,833 --> 00:13:51,900
You're engaged
to my friend.
285
00:13:51,902 --> 00:13:54,236
Hey, Bernadette doesn't mind
where I get my motor running,
286
00:13:54,238 --> 00:13:57,406
as long as I park
in the right garage.
287
00:13:59,543 --> 00:14:02,244
I can't believe
you're engaged to my friend.
288
00:14:04,047 --> 00:14:05,831
Oh, here she comes.
289
00:14:05,833 --> 00:14:08,234
Smart. Whisper so the deaf chick
can't hear you.
290
00:14:12,973 --> 00:14:14,006
Hi.
291
00:14:14,008 --> 00:14:15,691
Oh, hey, hi.
292
00:14:15,693 --> 00:14:16,776
Nice to see you.
293
00:14:16,778 --> 00:14:20,112
Um, can we talk
to you about Raj?
294
00:14:21,248 --> 00:14:22,782
She says, "Sure,
what about him""
295
00:14:22,784 --> 00:14:25,368
Okay, um, gosh,
how do I start?
296
00:14:25,370 --> 00:14:29,104
Um, see, Raj is
kind of naive.
297
00:14:29,106 --> 00:14:31,540
I mean, he hasn't dated
a whole lot of women.
298
00:14:31,542 --> 00:14:35,411
And I'm concerned that,
without meaning to,
299
00:14:35,413 --> 00:14:36,962
you might be
taking advantage of him.
300
00:14:36,964 --> 00:14:39,615
You know, by letting him buy you
a bunch of expensive things.
301
00:14:39,617 --> 00:14:40,716
And I-I...
302
00:14:40,718 --> 00:14:42,468
Howard, focus.
303
00:14:42,470 --> 00:14:43,836
Tell her what I'm saying.
304
00:14:43,838 --> 00:14:44,837
Right.
305
00:14:44,839 --> 00:14:46,639
Are you a gold digger or not?
306
00:14:48,709 --> 00:14:50,509
Oh, uh, something,
something,
307
00:14:50,511 --> 00:14:52,411
who the something do
you think you are?
308
00:14:52,413 --> 00:14:53,979
Mind your own
something business
309
00:14:53,981 --> 00:14:56,682
and go something
yourself.
310
00:14:57,300 --> 00:14:58,351
Oh.
311
00:14:58,353 --> 00:15:00,736
Wait, I got
this now.
312
00:15:03,490 --> 00:15:04,973
I'm so mad at you!
313
00:15:04,975 --> 00:15:06,108
Okay, wait...
314
00:15:06,110 --> 00:15:08,077
How dare you ambush my
girlfriend at the gym!
315
00:15:08,079 --> 00:15:09,745
We didn't mean
for it to be an ambush.
316
00:15:09,747 --> 00:15:13,582
Just, it's kind of impossible
not to sneak up on deaf people.
317
00:15:13,584 --> 00:15:17,253
And hey, since when
are you so chatty?
318
00:15:17,255 --> 00:15:18,487
I'm hammered.
319
00:15:18,489 --> 00:15:19,955
Raj, come here.
320
00:15:19,957 --> 00:15:22,875
This girl is trouble.
321
00:15:22,877 --> 00:15:24,593
I mean, what kind of
relationship is it
322
00:15:24,595 --> 00:15:27,129
where you buy her gifts
and she gives you sex?
323
00:15:27,131 --> 00:15:29,932
The best one I ever had!
324
00:15:30,767 --> 00:15:32,268
Okay, come on.
325
00:15:32,270 --> 00:15:33,803
You know you
can do better.
326
00:15:33,805 --> 00:15:36,338
Aha.
327
00:15:36,340 --> 00:15:37,973
I see what's going on here.
328
00:15:37,975 --> 00:15:41,060
You and I had
our crazy night together,
329
00:15:41,062 --> 00:15:43,813
and now you can't stand
to see me with another woman.
330
00:15:43,815 --> 00:15:45,698
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
- It's okay.
331
00:15:45,700 --> 00:15:47,433
I can't get mad
at your feelings.
332
00:15:47,435 --> 00:15:48,701
I don't have feelings.
333
00:15:48,703 --> 00:15:49,685
Yeah, that's good.
334
00:15:49,687 --> 00:15:51,787
Keep telling
yourself that.
335
00:15:52,706 --> 00:15:55,624
He is cuter
now that I know he's rich.
336
00:15:59,413 --> 00:16:02,197
I have a surprise
for you.
337
00:16:02,199 --> 00:16:03,466
Cover your eyes.
338
00:16:05,385 --> 00:16:07,753
Open them.
339
00:16:17,097 --> 00:16:19,348
It's a real ruby.
340
00:16:19,350 --> 00:16:22,151
It was a little
expensive,
341
00:16:22,153 --> 00:16:26,021
but no one can put
a price on love.
342
00:16:26,023 --> 00:16:29,492
Although, the people at Cartier
took a pretty good shot at it.
343
00:16:36,116 --> 00:16:37,416
Oh, Mummy, Daddy.
344
00:16:37,418 --> 00:16:38,784
What a nice surprise.
345
00:16:38,786 --> 00:16:42,471
No, it's not a nice surprise,
it's a bad surprise.
346
00:16:43,640 --> 00:16:44,573
Penny called us.
347
00:16:44,575 --> 00:16:45,674
Penny?
348
00:16:45,676 --> 00:16:47,059
She told us
you're spending all our money
349
00:16:47,061 --> 00:16:48,227
on your new girlfriend.
350
00:16:48,995 --> 00:16:51,597
I just got her a
couple of things.
351
00:16:51,599 --> 00:16:53,782
She gives me things, too.
352
00:16:53,784 --> 00:16:54,967
Yeah, yeah, I'm
a gynecologist.
353
00:16:54,969 --> 00:16:57,670
I know exactly
what she gives you.
354
00:16:58,772 --> 00:17:02,107
You need to find a nice
Indian girl from a good family.
355
00:17:02,109 --> 00:17:04,426
If you keep seeing this woman,
you're cut off.
356
00:17:04,428 --> 00:17:07,413
What? You're going to make me
choose between the woman I love
357
00:17:07,415 --> 00:17:11,484
and the money I... have
very strong feelings for?
358
00:17:11,486 --> 00:17:13,452
It's up to you.
359
00:17:14,855 --> 00:17:17,389
Well, I choose love.
360
00:17:17,391 --> 00:17:19,074
You're an idiot.
361
00:17:21,211 --> 00:17:23,412
Love doesn't last.
362
00:17:29,452 --> 00:17:33,055
Well, he's going to
find out eventually.
363
00:17:33,057 --> 00:17:34,557
Think about it.
364
00:17:39,896 --> 00:17:44,483
My parents are making me
choose between money and you.
365
00:17:44,485 --> 00:17:46,852
I choose you.
366
00:17:49,138 --> 00:17:52,107
No, I think we'll have
to return the car.
367
00:17:53,243 --> 00:17:55,494
And that necklace,
yeah, that, too.
368
00:17:55,496 --> 00:17:57,663
But none of those
things matter,
369
00:17:57,665 --> 00:18:00,366
because we have
something better.
370
00:18:00,368 --> 00:18:02,484
We have love.
371
00:18:11,928 --> 00:18:15,698
Oh, Penny, I
hurt so bad.
372
00:18:15,700 --> 00:18:17,299
I know, I know.
373
00:18:17,301 --> 00:18:19,301
Sometimes I put
the TV on mute
374
00:18:19,303 --> 00:18:21,520
just to pretend
she's still with me.
375
00:18:27,644 --> 00:18:31,363
But I can't watch the closed
captioning without crying.
376
00:18:33,199 --> 00:18:35,851
Oh, I'm so sorry.
377
00:18:35,853 --> 00:18:37,853
I wish I could
make you feel better.
378
00:18:37,855 --> 00:18:39,572
Seriously?
379
00:18:39,574 --> 00:18:41,707
I'm heartbroken and
you're hitting on me?
380
00:18:41,709 --> 00:18:43,409
What?! No!
381
00:18:43,411 --> 00:18:45,911
Look, Penny,
you're great,
382
00:18:45,913 --> 00:18:48,130
but I had a long talk
with my parents,
383
00:18:48,132 --> 00:18:51,917
and they said if I date an
Indian girl, I get a Maserati.
384
00:18:57,219 --> 00:18:57,985
Mmm.
385
00:18:57,986 --> 00:18:59,186
Oh, cheesecake,
386
00:18:59,188 --> 00:19:00,720
you're just as good as a woman,
387
00:19:00,722 --> 00:19:02,656
even though I can't
have sex with you.
388
00:19:04,458 --> 00:19:06,660
Try throwing it in the microwave
for a few seconds.
389
00:19:11,833 --> 00:19:14,868
Should I use the rest room
or wait until we get home?
390
00:19:14,870 --> 00:19:17,587
Come on, papa needs
to void his bladder.
391
00:19:17,589 --> 00:19:20,674
Oh, that's not what you want
to see after three buttermilks.
392
00:19:22,093 --> 00:19:23,260
Here you go, boys.
393
00:19:23,262 --> 00:19:25,078
I'll pick it up
when you're ready.
394
00:19:25,080 --> 00:19:26,429
Thanks for dinner,
buddy.
395
00:19:26,431 --> 00:19:28,215
Yeah, real big of you.
396
00:19:28,217 --> 00:19:30,200
Hurry, hurry, hurry.
397
00:19:31,144 --> 00:19:32,293
Oh, and don't cheap
out on the tip.
398
00:19:32,295 --> 00:19:33,711
We all know
you're loaded now.
398
00:19:34,305 --> 00:20:34,549
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