1
00:00:02,736 --> 00:00:06,004
What a wonderful day, thank you.
2
00:00:06,006 --> 00:00:07,605
Oh, we're glad
you had fun.
3
00:00:07,607 --> 00:00:10,008
Blue Icees and a trip
to The Container Store?
4
00:00:10,010 --> 00:00:12,777
It's like I died and went
to the post-mortem,
5
00:00:12,779 --> 00:00:16,981
neuron-induced hallucination
commonly mistaken as heaven.
6
00:00:16,983 --> 00:00:19,017
I still don't understand
why you bought that pill caddie.
7
00:00:19,019 --> 00:00:20,451
You're a young man.
8
00:00:20,453 --> 00:00:22,787
Age is a state of
mind, Leonard.
9
00:00:22,789 --> 00:00:24,756
In here I'm 90.
10
00:00:27,360 --> 00:00:30,194
Why are you taking
your bins over there?
11
00:00:30,196 --> 00:00:31,863
That's just where
I need them.
12
00:00:31,865 --> 00:00:33,731
You know, she doesn't have
a lot of closet space.
13
00:00:33,733 --> 00:00:35,833
What's wrong with your closet?
14
00:00:35,835 --> 00:00:37,235
Uh...
15
00:00:37,237 --> 00:00:38,970
Well, honey, you know,
16
00:00:38,972 --> 00:00:40,671
now that Leonard and I
are married,
17
00:00:40,673 --> 00:00:43,541
it kind of makes sense
that we actually live together.
18
00:00:43,543 --> 00:00:45,376
So that's all this day was?
19
00:00:45,378 --> 00:00:48,146
A plan to butter me up
before delivering bad news?
20
00:00:48,148 --> 00:00:50,048
Come on, buddy.
No, I thought we were friends.
21
00:00:50,050 --> 00:00:52,483
You asked for a sip of my Icee.
22
00:00:52,485 --> 00:00:55,553
If you had your own straw,
I might've said yes.
23
00:00:55,555 --> 00:00:58,990
Sheldon, please, we already
feel bad about this.
24
00:00:58,992 --> 00:01:01,025
You know what they don't sell
at The Container Store?
25
00:01:01,027 --> 00:01:03,594
Something large enough
to contain my disappointment.
26
00:01:05,665 --> 00:01:06,864
Although,
27
00:01:06,866 --> 00:01:10,034
if anyone did, it would be them.
28
00:01:10,036 --> 00:01:13,538
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
29
00:01:13,540 --> 00:01:16,908
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
30
00:01:16,910 --> 00:01:18,509
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
31
00:01:18,511 --> 00:01:21,112
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
32
00:01:21,114 --> 00:01:23,748
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
33
00:01:23,750 --> 00:01:26,384
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
34
00:01:26,386 --> 00:01:28,252
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
35
00:01:28,254 --> 00:01:30,121
♪ Bang! ♪
36
00:01:35,962 --> 00:01:38,262
Thank you for letting
me come speak with you.
37
00:01:38,264 --> 00:01:40,198
Of course.
38
00:01:40,200 --> 00:01:42,033
As my relationships
with Penny and Amy
39
00:01:42,035 --> 00:01:44,202
are currently strained,
I'm turning to you
40
00:01:44,204 --> 00:01:46,204
for female comfort
and encouragement.
41
00:01:46,206 --> 00:01:47,638
Aww.
42
00:01:47,640 --> 00:01:49,640
I'm honored.
I tried
43
00:01:49,642 --> 00:01:51,909
reaching out to my mother,
but she was in Bible study.
44
00:01:51,911 --> 00:01:53,744
Leonard's mother
is on a book tour.
45
00:01:53,746 --> 00:01:55,146
My Mee-Maw was taking a nap,
46
00:01:55,148 --> 00:01:58,116
and after a while Siri
started repeating her answers.
47
00:01:58,985 --> 00:02:01,786
So, I'm your seventh choice.
48
00:02:01,788 --> 00:02:04,989
Yeah, I know, top ten,
pretty exciting.
49
00:02:04,991 --> 00:02:07,558
How can I help you?
50
00:02:07,560 --> 00:02:09,260
Well, in addition
to Amy leaving me,
51
00:02:09,262 --> 00:02:11,462
Leonard's moving in with Penny.
52
00:02:11,464 --> 00:02:14,432
It's difficult
not to feel abandoned.
53
00:02:14,434 --> 00:02:17,802
Well, why don't you look at this
as an opportunity?
54
00:02:17,804 --> 00:02:20,071
You had other roommates
before Leonard.
55
00:02:20,073 --> 00:02:21,172
Maybe this is a chance
56
00:02:21,174 --> 00:02:22,807
to find someone new.
57
00:02:22,809 --> 00:02:25,109
Perhaps I could find someone
better than Leonard.
58
00:02:25,111 --> 00:02:27,945
Someone I can rub in his face.
59
00:02:27,947 --> 00:02:30,181
Chris Pratt's
all the rage right now.
60
00:02:31,184 --> 00:02:32,316
I wonder how he'd feel
61
00:02:32,318 --> 00:02:34,919
about taking
the smaller bedroom.
62
00:02:34,921 --> 00:02:36,787
Hey.
Hey.
63
00:02:36,789 --> 00:02:39,891
You know who would be
the perfect roommate?
64
00:02:41,261 --> 00:02:44,195
Gandalf, but he's a smoker.
65
00:02:44,197 --> 00:02:46,197
Stuart.
66
00:02:46,199 --> 00:02:47,932
He's been living with us
for a while now.
67
00:02:47,934 --> 00:02:49,800
I'm sure he'd love
to get us out of his hair.
68
00:02:49,802 --> 00:02:52,170
Nope, couldn't be happier.
69
00:02:52,172 --> 00:02:54,005
Well, Sheldon's looking
for a...
70
00:02:54,007 --> 00:02:57,108
Nope.
71
00:02:57,110 --> 00:02:59,243
He'll think about it.
No I won't!
72
00:03:01,814 --> 00:03:03,314
Have you seen
this Archie comic?
73
00:03:03,316 --> 00:03:06,317
It's actually
Archie versus Predator.
74
00:03:06,319 --> 00:03:08,953
How could Archie
defeat Predator?
75
00:03:08,955 --> 00:03:10,221
I don't know.
76
00:03:10,223 --> 00:03:12,356
Maybe Jughead's a Terminator.
77
00:03:13,726 --> 00:03:16,794
Hey.
Hey, Stuart.
78
00:03:16,796 --> 00:03:18,563
Do you guys know any musicians?
79
00:03:18,565 --> 00:03:19,564
Why?
80
00:03:19,566 --> 00:03:21,132
I was thinking it might be cool
81
00:03:21,134 --> 00:03:23,568
to have live music here
a few nights a week.
82
00:03:23,570 --> 00:03:25,002
You know, give
this place more
83
00:03:25,004 --> 00:03:27,171
of a "staying in business" vibe.
84
00:03:27,173 --> 00:03:30,374
What kind of music
are you thinking of?
85
00:03:30,376 --> 00:03:34,612
I like all kinds of music,
but my favorite genre is free.
86
00:03:35,548 --> 00:03:36,714
Hey, we've always talked
87
00:03:36,716 --> 00:03:37,848
about playing together.
88
00:03:37,850 --> 00:03:39,183
Well, it could be fun
89
00:03:39,185 --> 00:03:40,184
to try a little acoustic thing.
90
00:03:40,186 --> 00:03:42,220
Oh, we could play
"filk" music.
91
00:03:42,222 --> 00:03:43,754
What's that?
92
00:03:43,756 --> 00:03:45,156
It's been around for years.
93
00:03:45,158 --> 00:03:49,060
It's like folk music,
but with a sci-fi/fantasy theme.
94
00:03:49,062 --> 00:03:50,261
I like it.
95
00:03:50,263 --> 00:03:51,329
It sounds exactly like something
96
00:03:51,331 --> 00:03:53,764
I shouldn't be expected
to pay for.
97
00:03:53,766 --> 00:03:55,733
Dude, if we do this,
98
00:03:55,735 --> 00:03:57,568
we're gonna need
a cool band name.
99
00:03:57,570 --> 00:03:59,437
You know, I've actually
100
00:03:59,439 --> 00:04:02,106
had one I've been
sitting on for years.
101
00:04:02,108 --> 00:04:03,374
Really?
102
00:04:03,376 --> 00:04:04,575
It was for this power trio
103
00:04:04,577 --> 00:04:06,344
I tried to put together
in junior high,
104
00:04:06,346 --> 00:04:09,046
but I was short two friends.
105
00:04:09,048 --> 00:04:10,514
What is it?
106
00:04:10,516 --> 00:04:13,351
Footprints on the Moon.
107
00:04:15,388 --> 00:04:18,456
I just got chills.
108
00:04:18,458 --> 00:04:20,258
So did I.
109
00:04:20,260 --> 00:04:21,692
Me, too.
110
00:04:21,694 --> 00:04:24,795
But I-I might have Lyme Disease.
111
00:04:27,400 --> 00:04:29,600
Just a few more signatures,
and we'll be finished.
112
00:04:29,602 --> 00:04:32,970
Initial here to acknowledge
that you've returned your key.
113
00:04:36,309 --> 00:04:38,109
Okay.
114
00:04:38,111 --> 00:04:40,111
As my future neighbor,
115
00:04:40,113 --> 00:04:42,780
I'd like you to have a key.
116
00:04:44,917 --> 00:04:47,818
Initial here to acknowledge
you received it.
117
00:04:49,389 --> 00:04:51,656
I'm proud of you.
You're taking this really well.
118
00:04:51,658 --> 00:04:53,591
Well, it's not like I'm never
going to see you two again.
119
00:04:53,593 --> 00:04:56,961
Which brings us to
article 23 subsection C--
120
00:04:56,963 --> 00:04:59,297
please check here
to reserve your spot
121
00:04:59,299 --> 00:05:02,767
at the ten year
roommate reunion.
122
00:05:02,769 --> 00:05:05,069
Do I really have to do that now?
123
00:05:05,071 --> 00:05:06,237
No, but if you want chicken
124
00:05:06,239 --> 00:05:08,572
and get stuck with the fish,
that's on you.
125
00:05:10,009 --> 00:05:11,275
All right.
126
00:05:11,277 --> 00:05:13,277
Oh, and lastly,
127
00:05:13,279 --> 00:05:15,146
please initial here to confirm
128
00:05:15,148 --> 00:05:16,480
that ownership
of the living room couch
129
00:05:16,482 --> 00:05:17,815
is hereby transferred to me
130
00:05:17,817 --> 00:05:19,684
in perpetuity
all throughout the universe
131
00:05:19,686 --> 00:05:21,619
and all alternate universes
132
00:05:21,621 --> 00:05:23,654
except for those universes
where owning a couch
133
00:05:23,656 --> 00:05:25,323
is forbidden by the hive queen.
134
00:05:25,325 --> 00:05:27,525
In which case,
all glory to the hive queen.
135
00:05:30,363 --> 00:05:32,296
All right,
now all that's left
136
00:05:32,298 --> 00:05:34,932
is for us to sign
and date the document,
137
00:05:34,934 --> 00:05:38,169
and we will officially
no longer be roommates.
138
00:05:41,941 --> 00:05:43,307
What's the matter?
139
00:05:43,309 --> 00:05:45,276
It's harder than I thought.
140
00:05:45,278 --> 00:05:46,877
Let me help you.
141
00:05:46,879 --> 00:05:47,845
L-E-O-N...
142
00:05:47,847 --> 00:05:50,247
That helped.
143
00:05:51,384 --> 00:05:54,151
So I have an idea
for a filk song.
144
00:05:54,153 --> 00:05:55,619
Kind of a,
145
00:05:55,621 --> 00:05:58,389
a power ballad,
superhero crossover tale
146
00:05:58,391 --> 00:06:00,725
of epic proportions.
147
00:06:00,727 --> 00:06:02,626
Is it cold in here,
148
00:06:02,628 --> 00:06:05,396
'cause, oh, my.
149
00:06:06,499 --> 00:06:10,301
Okay, so it's a, it's a
David and Goliath story.
150
00:06:10,303 --> 00:06:12,503
It's about man against God.
151
00:06:12,505 --> 00:06:15,339
It's called "Hammer and Whip:
152
00:06:15,341 --> 00:06:16,640
"The Untold Story
153
00:06:16,642 --> 00:06:20,444
of Thor versus Indiana Jones."
154
00:06:22,382 --> 00:06:24,548
Thor versus Indiana Jones?
155
00:06:24,550 --> 00:06:27,518
You just blew my filking mind.
156
00:06:27,520 --> 00:06:30,354
Okay, I don't have it
all worked out yet,
157
00:06:30,356 --> 00:06:32,990
but I was thinking
something like, um...
158
00:06:32,992 --> 00:06:35,326
♪ Oh, Indy ♪
159
00:06:35,328 --> 00:06:37,428
♪ Oh, Indy ♪
160
00:06:37,430 --> 00:06:41,399
♪ The skies are so windy ♪
161
00:06:42,869 --> 00:06:46,537
♪ Is that a flying man
with a killer bod? ♪
162
00:06:46,539 --> 00:06:47,605
♪ Wait ♪
163
00:06:47,607 --> 00:06:48,873
♪ That's no man ♪
164
00:06:48,875 --> 00:06:52,009
♪ It's a Norse god. ♪
165
00:06:53,012 --> 00:06:55,346
Oh yes, definitely.
166
00:06:55,348 --> 00:06:57,548
Hang on.
167
00:06:57,550 --> 00:07:04,455
♪ Thunder clapped as Thor
raised his mighty hammer ♪
168
00:07:04,457 --> 00:07:10,995
♪ Indy rapped,
"That's one bad mamma-jamma." ♪
169
00:07:12,131 --> 00:07:13,431
That-that is so good!
170
00:07:13,433 --> 00:07:14,565
Right?
171
00:07:14,567 --> 00:07:16,634
Mamma-jamma just came to me.
172
00:07:17,937 --> 00:07:19,403
Okay, and here's the hook.
173
00:07:19,405 --> 00:07:22,640
♪ Thor and Dr. Jones ♪
174
00:07:22,642 --> 00:07:25,576
♪ Thor and Dr. Jones ♪
175
00:07:25,578 --> 00:07:27,111
♪ One plays with lightning ♪
176
00:07:27,113 --> 00:07:31,582
♪ The other plays with bones ♪
177
00:07:31,584 --> 00:07:34,151
♪ Thor and Dr. Jones ♪
178
00:07:34,153 --> 00:07:37,087
♪ Thor and Dr. Jones ♪
179
00:07:37,089 --> 00:07:38,789
♪ One plays with lightning ♪
180
00:07:38,791 --> 00:07:41,525
♪ The other plays with bones. ♪
181
00:07:44,931 --> 00:07:46,464
Oh, man, that rocks.
182
00:07:46,466 --> 00:07:48,499
Hey, remember
The Ark of the Covenant?
183
00:07:48,501 --> 00:07:51,735
Yeah?
That's how much we're
gonna melt people's faces off.
184
00:07:54,407 --> 00:07:57,174
I appreciate your interest
in the apartment.
185
00:07:57,176 --> 00:07:59,477
I just need to ask you
a few standard questions.
186
00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:01,412
Sure.
It says here you're a chemist.
187
00:08:01,414 --> 00:08:04,515
Which element
on the periodic table
188
00:08:04,517 --> 00:08:08,319
do you feel is too big
for its britches?
189
00:08:09,622 --> 00:08:11,655
Is that supposed to be a joke?
190
00:08:11,657 --> 00:08:14,425
Looks like argon's not
the only one
191
00:08:14,427 --> 00:08:16,961
with an attitude problem.
192
00:08:16,963 --> 00:08:18,462
In general,
193
00:08:18,464 --> 00:08:20,998
would you say
that you smell better, worse
194
00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:24,535
or the same as you do right now?
195
00:08:26,305 --> 00:08:27,471
I was going to ask you
196
00:08:27,473 --> 00:08:29,440
what is the best fruit,
197
00:08:29,442 --> 00:08:31,275
but then I realized
what I want to ask you
198
00:08:31,277 --> 00:08:33,477
is why is there a Band-Aid
on your forearm,
199
00:08:33,479 --> 00:08:34,445
but then I realized what
200
00:08:34,447 --> 00:08:35,880
I really want to ask you is
201
00:08:35,882 --> 00:08:37,715
just can you just go?
202
00:08:39,485 --> 00:08:41,185
You're healthy.
203
00:08:41,187 --> 00:08:42,987
You have a job in the sciences.
204
00:08:42,989 --> 00:08:45,623
I've got to say, if this
credit report comes back good,
205
00:08:45,625 --> 00:08:46,924
you're the frontrunner.
206
00:08:51,664 --> 00:08:53,531
I'm not gonna be
your roommate, Sheldon.
207
00:08:53,533 --> 00:08:56,300
But I met with 11 people,
208
00:08:56,302 --> 00:08:57,701
and they all walked out.
209
00:08:57,703 --> 00:08:59,570
And that Hollywood phony
Chris Pratt
210
00:08:59,572 --> 00:09:01,472
never tweeted me back.
211
00:09:01,474 --> 00:09:04,208
I'm sure you'll find
somebody else.
212
00:09:04,210 --> 00:09:06,010
I suppose.
213
00:09:06,012 --> 00:09:07,478
What happened to me, Amy?
214
00:09:07,480 --> 00:09:08,512
Years ago I was
215
00:09:08,514 --> 00:09:10,814
completely disengaged
from my feelings.
216
00:09:10,816 --> 00:09:12,650
I'd say it was a happier time,
217
00:09:12,652 --> 00:09:16,487
but I was disengaged from
my feelings, so who can tell?
218
00:09:16,489 --> 00:09:18,756
I don't know how to help you.
219
00:09:18,758 --> 00:09:20,991
You know,
feelings are a part of life.
220
00:09:20,993 --> 00:09:22,560
They didn't used to be.
221
00:09:22,562 --> 00:09:24,562
You and Leonard and Penny,
222
00:09:24,564 --> 00:09:26,597
you all poisoned me
with emotions.
223
00:09:26,599 --> 00:09:28,599
I was like the Tin Man,
perfectly content
224
00:09:28,601 --> 00:09:30,768
until that evil Wizard
gave him a heart.
225
00:09:33,039 --> 00:09:36,240
I don't think that was
the point of the movie.
226
00:09:36,242 --> 00:09:37,708
Fine, then I was like Pinocchio
227
00:09:37,710 --> 00:09:41,378
before that jerk Geppetto
went and made him a real boy.
228
00:09:41,380 --> 00:09:43,447
There you go.
229
00:09:45,618 --> 00:09:47,418
So, what are you
thinking for dinner?
230
00:09:47,420 --> 00:09:48,586
Well, it's Thai food night.
231
00:09:48,588 --> 00:09:49,520
Well, honey,
232
00:09:49,522 --> 00:09:50,854
you don't live
with Sheldon anymore.
233
00:09:50,856 --> 00:09:52,590
You can have anything you want.
234
00:09:52,592 --> 00:09:54,792
You're right.
235
00:09:54,794 --> 00:09:56,093
But what?
236
00:09:57,196 --> 00:09:58,262
Mexican?
237
00:09:58,264 --> 00:09:59,530
Italian? German?
238
00:09:59,532 --> 00:10:00,931
Indian? Greek?
239
00:10:00,933 --> 00:10:02,232
Cuban? Chinese?
240
00:10:02,234 --> 00:10:03,233
Pizza? Barbecue?
241
00:10:03,235 --> 00:10:06,036
Korean? Korean barbecue?
242
00:10:06,973 --> 00:10:08,205
How about Thai food?
243
00:10:08,207 --> 00:10:09,840
Oh, thank God
244
00:10:12,979 --> 00:10:15,312
Hey, we're going to dinner.
You want to come?
245
00:10:15,314 --> 00:10:16,914
Oh, I wish I could,
246
00:10:16,916 --> 00:10:20,150
but I realized I've become
too emotionally vulnerable,
247
00:10:20,152 --> 00:10:22,219
so, like an operating system,
248
00:10:22,221 --> 00:10:25,389
I'm restoring my life
to the last stable version,
249
00:10:25,391 --> 00:10:28,525
which was in 2003,
the day before I met Leonard.
250
00:10:30,062 --> 00:10:31,795
You heard him, no.
251
00:10:31,797 --> 00:10:33,130
Hang on.
252
00:10:33,132 --> 00:10:35,566
Wait, you actually
think it's 2003?
253
00:10:35,568 --> 00:10:37,468
No, just because
I'm living my life
254
00:10:37,470 --> 00:10:39,837
like it was 12 years ago
doesn't mean I'm delusional.
255
00:10:39,839 --> 00:10:41,739
And since it is 2003,
256
00:10:41,741 --> 00:10:43,507
I don't know who you are,
257
00:10:43,509 --> 00:10:45,476
so please exit the premises
258
00:10:45,478 --> 00:10:47,811
before I call the police
on my stylish new flip phone.
259
00:10:49,000 --> 00:10:55,074
260
00:10:59,692 --> 00:11:01,625
Are you doing okay?
261
00:11:01,627 --> 00:11:03,027
I guess.
262
00:11:03,029 --> 00:11:05,329
I'm just, you know,
worried about Sheldon.
263
00:11:05,331 --> 00:11:07,131
Well, come on,
he's a grown man in his 30s
264
00:11:07,133 --> 00:11:08,599
pretending to be
a grown man in his 20s.
265
00:11:08,601 --> 00:11:09,733
He's fine.
266
00:11:10,670 --> 00:11:13,203
I hope so.
267
00:11:13,205 --> 00:11:15,272
What else can you do?
Move back in with him?
268
00:11:15,274 --> 00:11:16,807
No, of course not.
I-I just feel bad.
269
00:11:16,809 --> 00:11:17,808
Well, so do I,
270
00:11:17,810 --> 00:11:20,210
but don't you want to live
with your wife
271
00:11:20,212 --> 00:11:21,645
and set the thermostat
272
00:11:21,647 --> 00:11:22,780
to whatever you want
273
00:11:22,782 --> 00:11:24,448
and have your body tell you
274
00:11:24,450 --> 00:11:25,983
when it's time to go
to the bathroom,
275
00:11:25,985 --> 00:11:27,151
you know, not a schedule slipped
276
00:11:27,153 --> 00:11:29,787
underneath your door
every morning?
277
00:11:29,789 --> 00:11:32,856
I did like that he had
the weather on it.
278
00:11:33,393 --> 00:11:35,493
Trust me,
this is the right thing.
279
00:11:35,495 --> 00:11:36,828
I know.
280
00:11:36,830 --> 00:11:38,296
And it's not like
we're abandoning him.
281
00:11:38,298 --> 00:11:39,631
Plus,
282
00:11:39,633 --> 00:11:41,800
we can FaceTime him
whenever we want,
283
00:11:41,802 --> 00:11:45,704
you know, once iPhones
are invented in his universe.
284
00:11:48,975 --> 00:11:51,843
I can't believe Sheldon
285
00:11:51,845 --> 00:11:53,011
asked you to be his roommate.
286
00:11:53,013 --> 00:11:56,681
I can't believe
he ran my credit.
287
00:11:56,683 --> 00:11:59,250
Hey, if you're open to living
with someone great,
288
00:11:59,252 --> 00:12:01,653
I'll give you $1,000
to take Stuart.
289
00:12:03,656 --> 00:12:05,223
You really should've gone
on the Internet
290
00:12:05,225 --> 00:12:06,691
and checked how long
that kind of thing lives
291
00:12:06,693 --> 00:12:08,493
before you got one.
292
00:12:09,895 --> 00:12:11,228
I'm sorry.
293
00:12:11,230 --> 00:12:12,562
I just thought you might have
294
00:12:12,564 --> 00:12:14,799
a pasty, weirdo-shaped hole
in your life.
295
00:12:15,001 --> 00:12:17,468
Hey, I know Sheldon's quirky,
296
00:12:17,470 --> 00:12:19,036
but he's also brilliant
and insightful.
297
00:12:20,540 --> 00:12:23,140
I think calling him a weirdo
is a little unfair.
298
00:12:23,342 --> 00:12:25,609
Hello, 2003!
299
00:12:28,414 --> 00:12:30,481
Hey, we brought you Thai.
300
00:12:32,585 --> 00:12:33,784
Where is everything?
301
00:12:33,786 --> 00:12:35,686
In my present,
it's in the future.
302
00:12:35,688 --> 00:12:38,522
In your present,
it's been crammed in the bedroom
303
00:12:38,524 --> 00:12:39,857
by an enterprising young man
304
00:12:39,859 --> 00:12:42,793
I met in The Home Depot
parking lot.
305
00:12:43,729 --> 00:12:45,395
I know what you're doing.
306
00:12:45,397 --> 00:12:47,431
You're trying to get attention
so we'll feel bad for you,
307
00:12:47,433 --> 00:12:48,799
but it's not happening.
308
00:12:48,801 --> 00:12:50,734
No, what I'm doing
is trying to figure out
309
00:12:50,736 --> 00:12:53,437
how to live my life now
that everyone is leaving me.
310
00:12:53,439 --> 00:12:55,873
Will you knock it off?
We're across the hall.
311
00:12:55,875 --> 00:12:58,509
As the kids are saying today,
"talk to the hand."
312
00:12:59,879 --> 00:13:01,979
They're not saying that.
313
00:13:01,981 --> 00:13:04,982
They are in 2003.
314
00:13:04,984 --> 00:13:07,718
No, they're really not.
315
00:13:10,556 --> 00:13:13,323
♪ Thor and Dr. Jones ♪
316
00:13:13,325 --> 00:13:15,826
♪ Thor and Dr. Jones ♪
317
00:13:15,828 --> 00:13:17,461
♪ One runs from Loki ♪
318
00:13:17,463 --> 00:13:20,898
♪ The other runs from stones. ♪
319
00:13:21,834 --> 00:13:23,934
So, what do you think?
320
00:13:23,936 --> 00:13:26,136
Wow.
321
00:13:26,138 --> 00:13:29,072
Runs from stones means
that-that big boulder,
322
00:13:29,074 --> 00:13:31,341
but I couldn't rhyme anything
with boulder.
323
00:13:31,343 --> 00:13:33,911
Colder, shoulder,
324
00:13:33,913 --> 00:13:35,245
soldier, folder...
325
00:13:35,247 --> 00:13:36,914
Right, yeah, right.
326
00:13:36,916 --> 00:13:38,582
But...
327
00:13:38,584 --> 00:13:40,284
what do you think?
328
00:13:40,286 --> 00:13:42,085
I think it's very cute.
329
00:13:42,087 --> 00:13:43,754
Cute? It's not cute.
330
00:13:43,756 --> 00:13:46,824
Cute is children dressed
as vegetables.
331
00:13:48,961 --> 00:13:51,528
Okay, fine, it's not cute.
332
00:13:51,530 --> 00:13:52,930
Just be honest.
You don't like it.
333
00:13:52,932 --> 00:13:54,298
I didn't say that.
334
00:13:54,300 --> 00:13:56,767
I-I just like music
you can dance to.
335
00:13:56,769 --> 00:13:58,635
You can dance to this!
336
00:13:58,637 --> 00:14:00,537
Um, uh, uh...
337
00:14:00,539 --> 00:14:03,373
♪ Thor and Dr. Jones ♪
338
00:14:03,375 --> 00:14:05,843
♪ Thor and Dr. Jones ♪
339
00:14:05,845 --> 00:14:07,044
♪ One plays with lightning ♪
340
00:14:07,046 --> 00:14:09,713
♪ The other plays with bones. ♪
341
00:14:11,817 --> 00:14:14,051
I'm telling you, dude,
the song has no groove.
342
00:14:14,053 --> 00:14:16,153
You can't dance to it.
343
00:14:16,155 --> 00:14:17,988
Who cares?
344
00:14:17,990 --> 00:14:19,790
I thought the whole point
of Footprints on the Moon
345
00:14:19,792 --> 00:14:22,159
was to write songs
that make people think.
346
00:14:22,161 --> 00:14:23,627
You can do both,
347
00:14:23,629 --> 00:14:25,996
like Michael Jackson's
"Billie Jean."
348
00:14:25,998 --> 00:14:27,364
While you're dancing
you're thinking, like,
349
00:14:27,366 --> 00:14:29,900
"Darn it, whose baby is it?"
350
00:14:31,571 --> 00:14:33,004
Where's this coming from?
351
00:14:33,006 --> 00:14:35,506
A few hours ago,
we both loved this song.
352
00:14:35,508 --> 00:14:36,908
I still love it.
353
00:14:36,910 --> 00:14:38,877
I just think there's
room for improvement.
354
00:14:38,879 --> 00:14:41,512
You played it for Emily,
didn't you?
355
00:14:41,514 --> 00:14:43,047
Yeah, so what?
You are such a wimp.
356
00:14:43,049 --> 00:14:45,850
She didn't like it,
now you don't like it.
357
00:14:45,852 --> 00:14:48,820
No, no. I'm just evolving
as a musician.
358
00:14:48,822 --> 00:14:51,422
You're the one who's stuck
in the past.
359
00:14:51,424 --> 00:14:53,958
The past was lunch!
360
00:14:56,096 --> 00:14:57,996
You know
what's really happening here?
361
00:14:57,998 --> 00:15:00,899
Your girlfriend
is breaking up our band.
362
00:15:02,335 --> 00:15:03,735
She has nothing to do with this.
363
00:15:03,737 --> 00:15:04,903
I am my own man.
364
00:15:04,905 --> 00:15:06,404
Oh, please. Your brain belongs
365
00:15:06,406 --> 00:15:08,706
to whoever's willing
to sleep with you.
366
00:15:08,708 --> 00:15:10,041
That is so not true.
Really?
367
00:15:10,043 --> 00:15:11,342
Remember when you were gonna
get circumcised
368
00:15:11,344 --> 00:15:13,578
for Rachel Bernstein?
369
00:15:13,580 --> 00:15:15,914
That had nothing to do
with Rachel.
370
00:15:15,916 --> 00:15:18,950
It was an overreaction
to a bad zipper injury.
371
00:15:22,022 --> 00:15:23,254
I don't need this.
372
00:15:23,256 --> 00:15:25,423
I'm quitting the band!
373
00:15:25,425 --> 00:15:26,791
Fine, I quit, too!
374
00:15:26,793 --> 00:15:28,126
Then get out of my house!
375
00:15:28,128 --> 00:15:30,194
With pleasure!
376
00:15:38,138 --> 00:15:39,203
Raj, wait.
377
00:15:39,205 --> 00:15:41,272
What took you so long?
378
00:15:43,977 --> 00:15:45,076
Buddy, I know me
379
00:15:45,078 --> 00:15:47,211
moving in with Penny
feels like a big change,
380
00:15:47,213 --> 00:15:48,613
but it's not.
381
00:15:48,615 --> 00:15:49,814
How can you say that?
382
00:15:49,816 --> 00:15:50,882
Amy's gone,
383
00:15:50,884 --> 00:15:52,283
and you two are married now,
384
00:15:52,285 --> 00:15:54,953
so it's only a matter of time
before you're gone, too.
385
00:15:54,955 --> 00:15:56,654
Okay, you don't know
what's gonna happen.
386
00:15:56,656 --> 00:15:57,822
No, I do.
387
00:15:57,824 --> 00:15:59,324
Eventually you'll want
more space,
388
00:15:59,326 --> 00:16:00,925
and you'll move into a house,
389
00:16:00,927 --> 00:16:03,061
and then instead of dinner
a couple of times a week,
390
00:16:03,063 --> 00:16:04,429
it'll only be a couple
of times a month,
391
00:16:04,431 --> 00:16:05,763
and then it'll only be
392
00:16:05,765 --> 00:16:06,965
on special occasions,
393
00:16:06,967 --> 00:16:10,134
like when Bernadette
divorces Wolowitz.
394
00:16:11,071 --> 00:16:12,971
Or-or-or like
395
00:16:12,973 --> 00:16:14,505
when Koothrappali's
weird girlfriend
396
00:16:14,507 --> 00:16:16,908
admits where she buried
his body.
397
00:16:18,678 --> 00:16:20,011
Or Amy's wedding,
398
00:16:20,013 --> 00:16:22,580
where she's marrying
someone better than me.
399
00:16:22,582 --> 00:16:24,916
Okay, look,
400
00:16:24,918 --> 00:16:27,085
we don't need
to rush into anything.
401
00:16:27,087 --> 00:16:28,486
All right?
402
00:16:28,488 --> 00:16:30,989
Maybe instead of Leonard
moving in with me,
403
00:16:30,991 --> 00:16:33,992
we just leave things
the way they are,
404
00:16:33,994 --> 00:16:35,159
and...
405
00:16:35,161 --> 00:16:36,828
sometimes we'll sleep
over there,
406
00:16:36,830 --> 00:16:39,130
and sometimes
we'll sleep over here.
407
00:16:39,132 --> 00:16:41,833
But mostly here.
408
00:16:42,936 --> 00:16:44,535
Sure.
409
00:16:44,537 --> 00:16:46,471
W-W-What about what you
said in the restaurant?
410
00:16:46,473 --> 00:16:47,472
Well, it's not forever.
411
00:16:47,474 --> 00:16:49,107
It's just for a while.
412
00:16:49,109 --> 00:16:52,510
If you want, we can think of him
like he's our dog.
413
00:16:52,512 --> 00:16:54,545
You can.
414
00:16:55,348 --> 00:16:57,115
I'm happy when you come home.
415
00:16:58,218 --> 00:17:00,284
And I'm scared of fireworks.
416
00:17:00,286 --> 00:17:03,988
And by the way, on July Fourth,
we're all sleeping here.
417
00:17:03,990 --> 00:17:06,057
Fine.
418
00:17:06,059 --> 00:17:07,191
All right, great!
419
00:17:07,193 --> 00:17:08,459
Just give me one minute,
420
00:17:08,461 --> 00:17:10,661
and I'll get started
on a new Roommate Agreement.
421
00:17:10,663 --> 00:17:11,796
Yeah.
422
00:17:11,798 --> 00:17:13,064
Nothing from Pratt. We're good.
423
00:17:20,473 --> 00:17:23,007
♪ Indy' whip snapped ♪
424
00:17:23,009 --> 00:17:25,410
♪ Thor's hammer missed ♪
425
00:17:25,412 --> 00:17:28,246
♪ It was Avenger ♪
426
00:17:28,248 --> 00:17:31,416
♪ Versus archeologist ♪
427
00:17:32,252 --> 00:17:34,252
♪ Indy held his ground ♪
428
00:17:34,254 --> 00:17:37,422
♪ And straightened his fedora ♪
429
00:17:37,424 --> 00:17:39,924
♪ Thor said,
"That's a nice look ♪
430
00:17:39,926 --> 00:17:43,261
♪ In 1944-a" ♪
431
00:17:46,666 --> 00:17:49,200
♪ Thor and Dr. Jones ♪
432
00:17:49,202 --> 00:17:51,769
♪ Thor and Dr. Jones ♪
433
00:17:51,771 --> 00:17:53,704
♪ One plays with lightning ♪
434
00:17:53,706 --> 00:17:56,774
♪ The other plays bones ♪
435
00:17:58,378 --> 00:18:00,044
♪ Thor and Dr. Jones ♪
436
00:18:00,046 --> 00:18:01,212
♪ Thor and Dr. Jones ♪
437
00:18:01,214 --> 00:18:03,114
♪ Thor and Dr. Jones ♪
438
00:18:03,116 --> 00:18:05,416
♪ One plays with lightning ♪
439
00:18:05,418 --> 00:18:09,921
♪ The other plays bones. ♪
440
00:18:11,191 --> 00:18:13,091
Play something we can dance to.
440
00:18:14,305 --> 00:19:14,192