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-(THEME SONG PLAYING) -(TIRES SCREECHING)

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All righty, then.

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(LAUGHING)

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Watch Online Movies and Series for FREE
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Yes! Yes!

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(SCREAMING)

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(SCREAMS)

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(SCREAMS)

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Ace Ventura, pet detective.

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(LAUGHING)

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REPORTER: We're reporting live from State University

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where Patsy, the educated gorilla,

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has allegedly eaten her teacher, Professor Paul Embryo.

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We have an eyewitness account from a janitor who works in the building.

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The gorilla just went berserk. It was horrible.

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(ROARING)

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Surrender immediately or we will use extreme force.

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(ROARING)

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Ready!

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Aim!

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What is that?

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(YODELING)

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Yeah, Comrade Spike, first we help the gorilla,

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then we strap on the lead the horse, and then polka until dawn.

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You there! Evacuate the premises immediately.

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I think I can talk the gorilla down.

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POLICEMAN: This is a police matter.

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Do not go up there.

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It's do not go in there, and you're stealing my lines.

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(ROARING)

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(WHISTLES)

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(ROARING)

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Easy. Me friend.

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Tell her, Spike.

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(MONKEY CHATTERING)

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What did the monkey say?

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He said...

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(MAKES MONKEY SOUNDS)

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Banana?

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Coconut?

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Chocolate cream pie?

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Then again, I should quit while I'm ahead.

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(ROARING)

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Perhaps the educated gorilla prefers food for thought.

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Darwin's origin of species?

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We're coming down, but under three conditions.

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What are they?

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One, Patsy wants a fair trial with lots of media coverage.

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Two, she wants me to represent her.

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Three, she wants you to zip up your fly.

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Made you look.

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(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING)

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This looks like an open and shut case.

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Yeah? And so does your butt.

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If you're looking for the bathroom, Ventura,

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there's a fire hydrant out front.

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-(LAUGHS) -(ACE IMITATES LAUGHING)

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(IMITATING AGUADO'S VOICE) Love your sense of humor, Aguado, so tongue-in-cheek.

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Anyone ever tell you we look alike?

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Now, fill me in on the case. I'm a little behind.

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This is all that's left of Dr. Embryo.

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Yeah. The ape ate him and she's gonna fry for that.

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Ah! Now, this is interesting, Emilio?

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What is it?

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It's microscopic and completely devoid of intelligence.

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It must be Aguado's brain.

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Patsy didn't eat Professor Embryo

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because gorillas are vegetarians.

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Don't touch that. It could be evidence.

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Excuse me, gentlemen.

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I just heard the terrible news.

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Professor Embryo's favorite, pineapple anchovy.

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So, you know Professor Embryo, Mr...

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Redrum. Professor Redrum.

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Professor Embryo was my friend and colleague.

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We shared this lab together for years.

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Gee, reminds me of hot summer days at the public pool.

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They must be lemmings, one of Dr. Embryo's experiments?

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No, one of my own.

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I am on the verge of isolating the hormone

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which compels lemmings to jump off cliffs.

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The benefits to mankind are incalculable.

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What exactly was Dr. Embryo teaching Patsy?

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Fine Arts, mathematics, even sign language.

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He was about to receive a major research grant from the university.

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Sign language. Really?

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(HAMMERING)

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The People versus Patsy the Gorilla.

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Mr. Ventura, what are these animals doing in my courtroom?

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Friends and supporters of the defendant, Your Honor.

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(ANIMALS MAKING NOISE)

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Order in the court. Order in the court. Counsel for the prosecution.

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The People will prove that Patsy, in a crime of passion,

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did wantonly eat her teacher Professor Paul Embryo.

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This forensic report notes that traces of simian saliva

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found on the glasses and coat indicate that Dr. Embryo was eaten by a gorilla.

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Hey, stop that.

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Your Honor, he's licking me.

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Is there a point to this outrageous display, Mr. Ventura?

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Only that there's more than one way

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that saliva soak a coat and glasses, Judge Hammerwack.

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We have an eyewitness, Your Honor. Tell the court what you saw.

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The professor opened the cage like he always does,

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but all of a sudden, she attacked him for no reason at all.

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I ran out of the room to call for help.

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Could you point out to us who you saw attack Professor Embryo?

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Yeah. That's her.

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Patsy the gorilla.

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Counsel for the defense.

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Spike, the lights. Defense Exhibit A.

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Professor Embryo raised Patsy from a child

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as if she were his own daughter.

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He taught Patsy art, music, literature,

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and transformed her from a wild jungle beast into a fine lady.

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Over the years, Patsy became protective of Professor Embryo

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and saved his life on numerous occasions.

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I put it to you that Patsy was a loving, loyal and devoted friend,

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and could not have harmed Professor Embryo.

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(CRYING)

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And now, as my only witness,

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I wish to call Patsy the gorilla.

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(ALL GASP)

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How do you expect a gorilla to testify?

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Why, in sign language, of course?

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Patsy's vocabulary contains over 2,000 signs.

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So she can tell us what happened in her own words.

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Patsy, did you eat Professor Embryo?

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Patsy says no.

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Can you tell us what actually did happen, Patsy?

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This sign translates as yes.

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Patsy, do you know who Dr. Embryo's real killer is?

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-Well? -A moment, please.

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Ah-ha!

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Patsy says murder.

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But we already knew that.

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Uh, Patsy, the part about knowing who the killer is?

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Murder? Murder? Murder?

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Obviously, Patsy's a little upset, Your Honor.

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I'd like to call a brief recess

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so we can play kickball or a round of freeze tag.

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Perhaps have a cookie, some milk?

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(HAMMERING)

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How does the jury find the defendant?

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We find the defendant guilty as charged.

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(SIREN WAILING)

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The gorilla is locked up in a special security cell. No one is allowed in there.

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Not even family?

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No one.

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Unless you happen to be President of the United States.

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(LAUGHS)

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I see.

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(PLAYING INSTRUMENT)

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Gorilla doom time.

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Well, Patsy, time's up.

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(LAUGHS)

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(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING)

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Be proud, Spike, for you are sidekick to...

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Ace Ventura, master of disguise.

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(SCREAMS)

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It pleases your president to see you wearing blue,

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fellow member of the union.

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Ready, soldier.

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I'm here to see the confederate gorilla prisoner.

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You're not the president.

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Oh, how about some ID then?

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Honest Abe wouldn't lie now, would he?

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Many thanks, soldier.

168
00:10:01,437 --> 00:10:03,739
I'll be back in four scores and seven...

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Hey, you can knock someone's fake beard up.

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(CLATTERING)

171
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Murder? Murder? Murder?

172
00:10:13,584 --> 00:10:17,022
Patsy, does the term broken record mean anything to you?

173
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Anything to you? Anything to you? Anything to you?

174
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Mm! A noose?

175
00:10:24,964 --> 00:10:27,133
Spike, after that guard.

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(SPIKE CHATTERING)

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And I said, I don't care if you are the President of the United States.

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Sweet mother of mercy.

179
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She's gonna do me.

180
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Let her go, oh, please!

181
00:10:45,688 --> 00:10:50,494
Don't let my head get squashed like an overripe melon.

182
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(PATSY GROWLING)

183
00:10:54,098 --> 00:10:56,701
Hostage situation in Cell Block 11.

184
00:10:56,734 --> 00:10:59,004
Let's not do anything hasty.

185
00:10:59,038 --> 00:11:00,673
Okay, boys. Back off.

186
00:11:00,706 --> 00:11:03,709
That's it, fellas. Cool and reasonable.

187
00:11:03,742 --> 00:11:06,513
Cool and reasonable.

188
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-Hey! -Hey! Hey!

189
00:11:12,553 --> 00:11:16,892
Sure. I had to stage a prison break with an educated gorilla.

190
00:11:16,925 --> 00:11:18,260
It's a trick.

191
00:11:19,928 --> 00:11:21,163
(GROANS)

192
00:11:23,533 --> 00:11:25,168
Oh, Patsy.

193
00:11:27,003 --> 00:11:28,739
Check and mate. Bye-bye now.

194
00:11:32,877 --> 00:11:34,211
There he is.

195
00:11:36,915 --> 00:11:39,718
Gee, thanks. Hey!

196
00:11:41,254 --> 00:11:44,490
(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING)

197
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Hey, shorty, can't you read?

198
00:11:57,372 --> 00:12:00,242
(SCREECHING SOUND)

199
00:12:29,276 --> 00:12:31,445
All right, you's two, let's see those faces.

200
00:12:31,478 --> 00:12:33,147
I don't believe this.

201
00:12:33,180 --> 00:12:35,750
We put four years into this operation,

202
00:12:35,784 --> 00:12:38,353
and some flat foot is gonna blow our cover.

203
00:12:38,386 --> 00:12:40,756
You guys are undercover cops?

204
00:12:40,790 --> 00:12:42,024
Good guess, Sherlock.

205
00:12:42,058 --> 00:12:45,328
We're trying to blow the lid off professional wrestling.

206
00:12:45,361 --> 00:12:46,930
It's all staged.

207
00:12:46,964 --> 00:12:48,632
It is?

208
00:12:48,665 --> 00:12:53,404
Gee, we thought you's two might be that gorilla and guy that broke out of prison.

209
00:12:54,272 --> 00:12:56,674
(LAUGHTER)

210
00:12:59,411 --> 00:13:03,849
It's a long shot, Woodstock, but if we could access Dr. Embryo's university files,

211
00:13:03,882 --> 00:13:06,653
we might find the key to clearing Patsy's name.

212
00:13:06,686 --> 00:13:12,693
It says here that Patsy does ballet, calculus, and portraiture.

213
00:13:13,027 --> 00:13:14,028
Patsy...

214
00:13:15,162 --> 00:13:17,633
can you draw Dr. Embryo's murderer?

215
00:13:19,267 --> 00:13:20,535
Super!

216
00:13:24,974 --> 00:13:26,476
Yikes!

217
00:13:28,144 --> 00:13:31,749
While the use of negative space in Patsy's piece is provocative

218
00:13:31,782 --> 00:13:35,220
of particular annoyance is the thematic repetition.

219
00:13:35,253 --> 00:13:36,788
Hey, Ace.

220
00:13:36,821 --> 00:13:40,525
Leave Van Gogh-rilla alone for a second and take a look at this.

221
00:13:40,558 --> 00:13:42,161
This is interesting.

222
00:13:42,194 --> 00:13:45,898
It seems not all of Dr. Embryo's experiments with Patsy

223
00:13:45,931 --> 00:13:47,668
were entirely successful.

224
00:13:47,701 --> 00:13:51,772
He diagnosed her as suffering from a rare speech impediment.

225
00:13:51,805 --> 00:13:55,009
Really?

226
00:13:55,043 --> 00:13:57,045
Well, she doesn't lisp.

227
00:13:57,078 --> 00:13:58,446
She doesn't stutter.

228
00:13:59,281 --> 00:14:02,384
(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING)

229
00:14:02,418 --> 00:14:04,453
Back off, man.

230
00:14:04,486 --> 00:14:08,091
Patsy signs everything backwards.

231
00:14:10,260 --> 00:14:11,495
What?

232
00:14:11,962 --> 00:14:14,432
Murder. Redrum.

233
00:14:14,465 --> 00:14:16,768
Murder is Redrum,

234
00:14:16,802 --> 00:14:20,572
and Redrum is murder, backwards that is.

235
00:14:20,605 --> 00:14:23,142
That's what Patsy's been trying to tell us.

236
00:14:23,176 --> 00:14:25,545
Professor Redrum is behind this.

237
00:14:25,578 --> 00:14:28,047
But what about the janitor?

238
00:14:28,081 --> 00:14:30,284
He saw Patsy attack Embryo.

239
00:14:30,317 --> 00:14:33,954
He saw a gorilla attack Embryo.

240
00:14:34,889 --> 00:14:38,893
-You mean? -Yes, a second gorilla theory.

241
00:14:38,927 --> 00:14:42,164
All righty, then.

242
00:14:42,198 --> 00:14:45,568
(MAN ON TV) Answer this phone call, and you'll win our 20-million-dollar grand prize.

243
00:14:45,601 --> 00:14:46,970
Return, if you will,

244
00:14:47,003 --> 00:14:49,806
to the night you saw a gorilla attack Dr. Embryo.

245
00:14:50,207 --> 00:14:51,641
(WHISTLES)

246
00:14:53,611 --> 00:14:55,546
Now, can you identify that gorilla?

247
00:14:55,580 --> 00:14:59,785
(STUTTERING) No. I know it's not the yak.

248
00:14:59,818 --> 00:15:02,521
Need I remind you there's a gorilla's life at stake.

249
00:15:02,554 --> 00:15:04,423
(MAN ON TV) Pick up that phone. That phone is yours and ringing.

250
00:15:04,456 --> 00:15:08,061
You pick it up right now, and you're 20 million dollars richer.

251
00:15:08,094 --> 00:15:09,662
Okay. Okay.

252
00:15:09,696 --> 00:15:12,166
I can't tell the difference.

253
00:15:12,199 --> 00:15:14,068
(CRYING)

254
00:15:14,101 --> 00:15:15,503
I've made my point.

255
00:15:15,536 --> 00:15:18,673
I suggest you go to the police and amend your testimony immediately.

256
00:15:18,707 --> 00:15:21,510
-Big, big wallet. -Hello. He just stepped out.

257
00:15:22,344 --> 00:15:24,046
Officer.

258
00:15:26,849 --> 00:15:28,217
(SCREAMS)

259
00:15:28,251 --> 00:15:30,854
(GROWLING)

260
00:15:32,656 --> 00:15:34,758
(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING)

261
00:15:43,702 --> 00:15:46,973
Working a little late, aren't we, Professor Redrum?

262
00:15:47,007 --> 00:15:50,844
What an unexpected surprise, Mr. Ventura.

263
00:15:50,877 --> 00:15:53,781
I was just working on my latest experiment.

264
00:15:53,815 --> 00:15:56,417
Well, I got news for you, buddy.

265
00:15:56,450 --> 00:16:00,088
From now on you'll be performing your experiments in prison

266
00:16:00,122 --> 00:16:03,859
after you are convicted of Professor Embryo's murder.

267
00:16:03,892 --> 00:16:09,866
Why would I want to murder my closest friend and colleague?

268
00:16:09,899 --> 00:16:12,736
The university was gonna cut your funding and give it to Dr. Embryo

269
00:16:12,770 --> 00:16:15,439
whose experiments were obviously more interesting

270
00:16:15,472 --> 00:16:17,075
than your stupid rodent tricks.

271
00:16:17,108 --> 00:16:22,514
So you 86 Professor Embryo yourself and set up Patsy as the patsy.

272
00:16:22,547 --> 00:16:26,686
But the janitor saw Patsy attack Professor Embryo.

273
00:16:26,719 --> 00:16:27,653
No.

274
00:16:27,687 --> 00:16:30,224
He saw the gorilla you used as a ringer,

275
00:16:30,257 --> 00:16:33,227
knowing the janitor wouldn't be able to tell the difference.

276
00:16:33,260 --> 00:16:35,630
A second gorilla theory?

277
00:16:36,064 --> 00:16:37,599
Poppycock!

278
00:16:37,632 --> 00:16:40,368
Is that all, Mr. Ventura?

279
00:16:40,401 --> 00:16:41,503
No.

280
00:16:41,537 --> 00:16:43,105
What have you done with Professor Embryo?

281
00:16:43,138 --> 00:16:45,708
What makes you think he's still alive?

282
00:16:48,411 --> 00:16:51,481
Because this is pineapple anchovy pizza.

283
00:16:51,514 --> 00:16:54,051
Because nobody, not even Aguado,

284
00:16:54,085 --> 00:16:57,121
eats pineapple anchovy pizza but Dr. Embryo.

285
00:16:57,154 --> 00:17:02,427
And because this pineapple anchovy pizza is still warm.

286
00:17:02,461 --> 00:17:03,862
All right. You got me.

287
00:17:03,896 --> 00:17:08,701
Professor Embryo is still alive, but not for long.

288
00:17:08,735 --> 00:17:11,906
The university ignored my brilliant discoveries

289
00:17:11,939 --> 00:17:15,476
in favor of Embryo's performing ape.

290
00:17:15,509 --> 00:17:18,013
I succeeded in isolating the lemming hormone,

291
00:17:18,046 --> 00:17:21,850
and fed it to that pathetic animal trainer.

292
00:17:21,883 --> 00:17:25,354
By adding a lemming hormone topping to his favorite pizza?

293
00:17:25,388 --> 00:17:31,862
Yes. And soon there will be no trace of Professor Embryo.

294
00:17:33,530 --> 00:17:35,233
You don't mean?

295
00:17:35,266 --> 00:17:36,701
Yes.

296
00:17:41,807 --> 00:17:46,645
Yes. Professor Embryo runs with the lemmings.

297
00:17:46,679 --> 00:17:49,149
Not for long. Spike, let's roll.

298
00:17:50,884 --> 00:17:53,921
You were right about the second gorilla theory.

299
00:17:53,955 --> 00:17:56,524
Meet Lars, behaviorally conditioned

300
00:17:56,557 --> 00:18:00,062
to respond to the sound of this bell.

301
00:18:00,095 --> 00:18:01,396
(LAUGHS)

302
00:18:01,430 --> 00:18:02,798
Attack.

303
00:18:07,370 --> 00:18:09,105
(LARS GROWLING)

304
00:18:10,139 --> 00:18:12,076
Hi-ya!

305
00:18:15,012 --> 00:18:17,282
(SCREAMING)

306
00:18:17,315 --> 00:18:19,084
Uh-oh.

307
00:18:19,117 --> 00:18:24,590
Spank you. That really softened the blow.

308
00:18:24,623 --> 00:18:26,926
-(LARS GROWLING) -(SPIKE SCREECHING)

309
00:18:28,628 --> 00:18:29,830
Yikes!

310
00:18:31,398 --> 00:18:35,503
My skeleton. He tore my skeleton out.

311
00:18:35,536 --> 00:18:38,239
I'll never walk again.

312
00:18:38,272 --> 00:18:39,507
(LARS GROWLING)

313
00:18:39,540 --> 00:18:44,713
If I do not have my skeleton, why do my bones hurt so much?

314
00:18:44,747 --> 00:18:48,084
(LARS GROWLING)

315
00:18:48,118 --> 00:18:50,720
-(SPIKE SCREAMING) -Stop her good, Spike.

316
00:18:58,896 --> 00:19:01,266
-(LARS GROWLING) -Yell!

317
00:19:02,801 --> 00:19:04,436
This is getting tiresome.

318
00:19:07,774 --> 00:19:09,208
(METAL TAPPING SOUND)

319
00:19:14,481 --> 00:19:16,116
Back at you, lemmingstein.

320
00:19:16,150 --> 00:19:18,286
-(GROWLING) -(BELL RINGING)

321
00:19:18,319 --> 00:19:20,455
-(LARS GROWLING) -(METAL TAPPING SOUND)

322
00:19:21,790 --> 00:19:23,492
-(BELL RINGING) -(LARS GROWLING)

323
00:19:23,526 --> 00:19:24,927
(METAL TAPPING SOUND)

324
00:19:26,062 --> 00:19:27,630
-(BELL RINGING) -(LARS GROWLING)

325
00:19:27,663 --> 00:19:29,131
(LARS GROWLING)

326
00:19:29,165 --> 00:19:32,235
-(BELL RINGING) -(METAL TAPPING SOUND)

327
00:19:32,269 --> 00:19:34,337
-(BELL RINGING) -(METAL TAPPING SOUND)

328
00:19:34,371 --> 00:19:37,942
(LARS GROWLING)

329
00:19:39,277 --> 00:19:40,478
(LARS GROWLING)

330
00:19:43,482 --> 00:19:44,983
(ACE GROANS)

331
00:19:47,119 --> 00:19:52,525
I know those legs anywhere. Patsy, tag, you're it.

332
00:19:52,559 --> 00:19:55,963
(PATSY GROWLING)

333
00:20:02,971 --> 00:20:05,708
How did she learn to do that?

334
00:20:05,742 --> 00:20:07,877
Professor Embryo often rewarded Patsy

335
00:20:07,910 --> 00:20:10,313
by letting her watch Three Stooges movies.

336
00:20:17,154 --> 00:20:19,858
And now to save Professor Embryo.

337
00:20:20,992 --> 00:20:23,261
Oh, one more thing.

338
00:20:23,696 --> 00:20:25,297
(BELL RINGING)

339
00:20:25,331 --> 00:20:27,433
(LARS GROWLING)

340
00:20:28,734 --> 00:20:30,804
Take care now. Bye-bye then.

341
00:20:41,850 --> 00:20:45,053
Lemmings on the rocks? I don't think so.

342
00:20:48,691 --> 00:20:50,093
Wait!

343
00:20:51,694 --> 00:20:53,898
That first steps are doozy.

344
00:20:59,638 --> 00:21:03,542
I, I don't know what came over me.

345
00:21:03,575 --> 00:21:04,776
(PATSY CHATTERING)

346
00:21:04,810 --> 00:21:06,179
Patsy.

347
00:21:14,955 --> 00:21:21,196
And I would especially like to thank Mr. Ace Ventura for proving Patsy's innocence.

348
00:21:21,229 --> 00:21:23,732
(APPLAUSE)

349
00:21:23,766 --> 00:21:29,338
Now, I would like to introduce my newest student, Lars the gorilla.

350
00:21:36,647 --> 00:21:40,851
Lars and Patsy, the love monkeys.

351
00:21:40,885 --> 00:21:43,889
I think I'll offer my congratulations.

352
00:21:43,922 --> 00:21:45,524
(ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYING)

353
00:21:50,897 --> 00:21:53,032
(LARS GROWLING)

354
00:21:58,038 --> 00:22:01,076
Did, did I say something wrong?

355
00:22:01,109 --> 00:22:05,347
Only that "Patsy's breath smelled like billy goat doo-doo".

356
00:22:05,380 --> 00:22:07,083
My mistake.

357
00:22:10,453 --> 00:22:12,289
(THEME SONG PLAYING)

357
00:22:13,305 --> 00:23:13,851
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