1 00:00:01,680 --> 00:00:03,400 Previously on The Big Bang Theory... 2 00:00:03,520 --> 00:00:05,416 The drug I've been working on for the past five years 3 00:00:05,440 --> 00:00:07,033 just got approved by the FDA. 4 00:00:07,400 --> 00:00:08,629 - Congratulations! - Wow! 5 00:00:08,720 --> 00:00:10,712 Was that the decongestant you developed? 6 00:00:10,800 --> 00:00:13,599 No, we had to rebrand that as a solvent for mining equipment. 7 00:00:15,600 --> 00:00:17,717 - It's an anti-inflammatory drug. - Oh. 8 00:00:17,800 --> 00:00:20,360 Yep, three years of testing and no reported side effects. 9 00:00:20,440 --> 00:00:21,398 Mmm, so, it works? 10 00:00:21,400 --> 00:00:22,436 Eh. 11 00:00:24,240 --> 00:00:26,709 Well, congratulations, I'm so happy for you. 12 00:00:26,800 --> 00:00:29,720 Yeah, well, I'm happy for you because I want you to head up my sales team. 13 00:00:30,280 --> 00:00:33,079 Really? Me? Don't you want someone with more experience? 14 00:00:33,160 --> 00:00:34,435 No, the job's all yours. 15 00:00:35,520 --> 00:00:38,274 All right, now I'm sure some of you are wondering, who is this woman? 16 00:00:38,360 --> 00:00:41,159 How did she get to be in charge of the sales team? 17 00:00:41,240 --> 00:00:43,914 Is it because she's friends with Dr. Rostenkowski? 18 00:00:44,000 --> 00:00:45,150 Because she is. 19 00:00:46,240 --> 00:00:48,800 Is it because she was Miss Cornhusker 2001, 20 00:00:48,880 --> 00:00:51,076 and still fits in those very same jeans? 21 00:00:51,160 --> 00:00:54,437 Because she was, and she does, and they're actually a little baggy. 22 00:00:57,200 --> 00:00:59,669 And the absence of side effects means that Inflaminex 23 00:00:59,760 --> 00:01:02,434 can be taken in conjunction with other medications. 24 00:01:02,520 --> 00:01:04,398 It's a brand-new day. 25 00:01:04,480 --> 00:01:06,756 Such a good tagline. I forgot. Who came up with that? 26 00:01:06,840 --> 00:01:09,150 - You did. - That's right, I did! 27 00:01:10,600 --> 00:01:11,795 Okay, I know it's late. 28 00:01:11,880 --> 00:01:14,256 I've been workin' you guys really hard, so I have a little treat for you. 29 00:01:14,280 --> 00:01:15,350 We get to go home? 30 00:01:15,640 --> 00:01:18,997 No, you get to stay here and get vitamin B-12 shots. 31 00:01:19,600 --> 00:01:22,399 Oh, my God. You guys are still here? 32 00:01:22,760 --> 00:01:25,116 We're happy to be here, it's a brand-new day. 33 00:01:26,440 --> 00:01:29,797 It's 12:15, it's literally a brand-new day. 34 00:01:31,240 --> 00:01:33,038 Everybody, go home. 35 00:01:33,920 --> 00:01:36,640 All right, fine. Go. Get out of here. Go on. 36 00:01:38,360 --> 00:01:40,113 I think things are goin' pretty good. 37 00:01:40,560 --> 00:01:42,677 Are you aware that Dave is in the break room, crying? 38 00:01:42,760 --> 00:01:45,360 Yeah, I told him if he's gonna be a crybaby, go to the break room. 39 00:01:45,840 --> 00:01:48,275 I just really wanna be prepared for this conference. 40 00:01:48,360 --> 00:01:49,360 You're gonna do great. 41 00:01:49,560 --> 00:01:50,560 You really think so? 42 00:01:50,600 --> 00:01:53,440 Of course. They're scared of you, you're scared of me, the system works. 43 00:01:55,480 --> 00:01:58,791 Our whole universe was in a hot dense state 44 00:01:58,880 --> 00:02:01,998 Then nearly fourteen billion years ago Expansion started... 45 00:02:02,080 --> 00:02:03,080 Wait! 46 00:02:03,120 --> 00:02:03,997 The earth began to cool 47 00:02:04,080 --> 00:02:05,514 The autotrophs began to drool 48 00:02:05,680 --> 00:02:07,194 Neanderthals developed tools 49 00:02:07,320 --> 00:02:08,913 We built a wall We built the pyramids 50 00:02:09,000 --> 00:02:11,640 Math, science, history Unraveling the mystery 51 00:02:11,760 --> 00:02:13,831 It all started with the Big Bang! 52 00:02:13,920 --> 00:02:14,920 Bang! 53 00:02:22,200 --> 00:02:23,395 Okay, Howie, I'm going. 54 00:02:23,920 --> 00:02:26,071 Have a great conference. 55 00:02:26,160 --> 00:02:28,800 Thanks. Remember, I'm leaving you with two babies. 56 00:02:28,880 --> 00:02:30,712 I expect to see two babies when I get back, 57 00:02:30,800 --> 00:02:33,110 and they better be the same two babies, because I'll know. 58 00:02:34,800 --> 00:02:36,314 Think I'm capable of babysitting. 59 00:02:36,640 --> 00:02:38,640 Don't call it "babysitting," they're your children. 60 00:02:38,760 --> 00:02:39,989 It's called "parenting." 61 00:02:41,360 --> 00:02:42,360 What's the difference? 62 00:02:43,040 --> 00:02:44,235 You don't get paid. 63 00:02:46,080 --> 00:02:47,958 Now, the emergency contacts are on the fridge, 64 00:02:48,040 --> 00:02:50,077 - and I left money for food on the table. - Oh! 65 00:02:50,160 --> 00:02:52,117 Sounds like I do get paid. 66 00:02:54,000 --> 00:02:56,390 Don't worry, I got this covered. 67 00:02:56,880 --> 00:02:57,950 I know you do. 68 00:02:58,560 --> 00:03:00,320 Quick question, where are the kids right now? 69 00:03:01,000 --> 00:03:02,719 - They're upstairs. - They're at daycare. 70 00:03:02,800 --> 00:03:04,096 - They're at daycare? - They're upstairs! 71 00:03:04,120 --> 00:03:05,600 Why are you messing with me? 72 00:03:13,640 --> 00:03:15,836 Wow, that's a lot of luggage for a weekend. 73 00:03:15,920 --> 00:03:19,470 Ugh. You know, I didn't know what to wear, so I brought a few options. 74 00:03:19,560 --> 00:03:22,234 Was one of the options the option to never come back? 75 00:03:24,320 --> 00:03:26,551 Just really want this weekend to go well. 76 00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:28,793 It doesn't answer my question, but okay. 77 00:03:29,960 --> 00:03:30,791 I love you. 78 00:03:30,880 --> 00:03:33,111 And I love you, too. And you're gonna do great. 79 00:03:33,200 --> 00:03:36,238 Just relax, stay out of your head, and try to enjoy it. 80 00:03:36,520 --> 00:03:39,831 Aw. It reminds me of what I said to you the first time we slept together. 81 00:03:42,440 --> 00:03:44,238 - I still use it. It's a mantra. - Yeah. 82 00:03:45,760 --> 00:03:47,680 Oh, thank goodness, I caught you before you left. 83 00:03:47,760 --> 00:03:48,856 I'm just going for the weekend. 84 00:03:48,880 --> 00:03:50,678 Just the weekend. You all heard her say it. 85 00:03:51,560 --> 00:03:53,836 So your convention is in San Diego, right? 86 00:03:53,960 --> 00:03:54,757 Yes. 87 00:03:54,880 --> 00:03:56,951 Great, I need you to settle a bet for Amy and me. 88 00:03:57,040 --> 00:04:01,000 I say, when it's not Comic-Con, no one will be dressed as superheroes. 89 00:04:01,080 --> 00:04:02,080 Mmm-hmm. 90 00:04:03,120 --> 00:04:05,510 And I say fewer people will be dressed as superheroes, 91 00:04:05,640 --> 00:04:06,710 but still some. 92 00:04:08,200 --> 00:04:10,192 Yeah, a crazy person in a cape doesn't count. 93 00:04:10,800 --> 00:04:12,234 Why not? It counts at Comic-Con. 94 00:04:13,880 --> 00:04:16,111 Also, if you get a chance to sneak into Hall H, 95 00:04:16,200 --> 00:04:19,079 last year, I left my neck pillow under my seat. 96 00:04:20,600 --> 00:04:22,478 In the third row, second from the aisle. 97 00:04:22,760 --> 00:04:23,671 I'll see what I can do. 98 00:04:23,760 --> 00:04:24,760 Thank you. 99 00:04:25,080 --> 00:04:27,231 At least there'll be one superhero in San Diego. 100 00:04:30,160 --> 00:04:32,240 So, Leonard, what're you gonna do while Penny's away? 101 00:04:32,320 --> 00:04:35,233 Well, I don't know. Maybe watch a movie with subtitles. 102 00:04:36,240 --> 00:04:38,391 Hey, if you're looking for something outside the norm, 103 00:04:38,480 --> 00:04:40,437 I have invented a new chess variant, 104 00:04:40,520 --> 00:04:43,274 where the bishops can also move like knights. 105 00:04:43,360 --> 00:04:46,000 What do you call that, "Bishops be crazy?" 106 00:04:47,840 --> 00:04:50,071 First of all, it would be, "Bishops are crazy." 107 00:04:51,280 --> 00:04:52,760 Not if you're being crazy. 108 00:04:54,400 --> 00:04:55,550 Checkmate. 109 00:04:57,800 --> 00:04:59,280 - Hey, guys. - Hello. 110 00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:01,000 Where are the kids? 111 00:05:01,880 --> 00:05:03,376 - I thought they were with you. - What? No! I... 112 00:05:03,400 --> 00:05:04,680 I'm kidding. They're at daycare. 113 00:05:07,000 --> 00:05:09,640 What about me makes you think my heart can handle that joke? 114 00:05:11,600 --> 00:05:15,116 Hey, you guys wanna come hang out at my place this weekend? 115 00:05:15,360 --> 00:05:16,794 So we can help you babysit? 116 00:05:17,400 --> 00:05:20,279 Uh, it's not babysitting. They're my children. 117 00:05:21,240 --> 00:05:22,310 They're not our children. 118 00:05:22,400 --> 00:05:24,596 Oh. Well, for you guys then, it is babysitting. 119 00:05:25,520 --> 00:05:27,376 No offense, Howard, but I don't wanna spend my weekend 120 00:05:27,400 --> 00:05:29,278 around your loud, sticky babies. 121 00:05:29,760 --> 00:05:32,116 You can't insult my kids. I am offended. 122 00:05:32,200 --> 00:05:34,336 You, wait... No, no, you can't be. I said, "No offense." 123 00:05:34,360 --> 00:05:36,750 That's like, "No backsies," but for offense. 124 00:05:38,120 --> 00:05:39,656 What do you say? We'll play some board games, 125 00:05:39,680 --> 00:05:40,557 it'll be like a party. 126 00:05:40,640 --> 00:05:43,838 Three guys playing a board game doesn't sound like much of a party. 127 00:05:43,920 --> 00:05:46,674 Someone doesn't remember college very well. 128 00:05:49,600 --> 00:05:52,160 As opposed to leading non-steroidal anti-inflammatory, 129 00:05:52,240 --> 00:05:54,311 our product greatly reduces the risk of ulcers. 130 00:05:54,400 --> 00:05:56,400 So it won't burn a hole in your stomach. 131 00:05:56,480 --> 00:05:58,631 And it won't burn a hole in your wallet, either. 132 00:06:00,040 --> 00:06:01,360 I got this. 133 00:06:01,440 --> 00:06:04,319 Thank you for stopping by. It's a brand-new day. 134 00:06:05,320 --> 00:06:06,470 See, you're doing great. 135 00:06:06,560 --> 00:06:09,758 Yeah. Mediocre actress, great drug pusher, who knew? 136 00:06:11,520 --> 00:06:13,955 Inflaminex, huh? So what can you tell me about it? 137 00:06:14,040 --> 00:06:15,040 Well, we have... 138 00:06:15,120 --> 00:06:17,077 Don't waste your time, his name is Danny. 139 00:06:17,160 --> 00:06:18,856 He works for one of the other drug companies. 140 00:06:18,880 --> 00:06:20,960 Hey, nothin' wrong with checkin' out the competition. 141 00:06:21,000 --> 00:06:23,117 Aw, we don't see you as competition. 142 00:06:24,680 --> 00:06:28,196 You should. Our anti-inflammatory is hitting the market this year, too. 143 00:06:28,280 --> 00:06:30,317 Well, ours has zero drug interaction risk. 144 00:06:30,680 --> 00:06:32,273 So does an Altoid. 145 00:06:33,880 --> 00:06:35,758 Speakin' of Altoids, why don't you go get one? 146 00:06:35,840 --> 00:06:39,231 Okay, let's... Everyone, calm down. 147 00:06:39,320 --> 00:06:42,280 If you can't find a pill for that here, then you're not tryin' hard enough. 148 00:06:43,160 --> 00:06:44,674 It's all right, I'll go. 149 00:06:46,800 --> 00:06:49,561 I don't know what it is about that guy, but he just gets on my nerves. 150 00:06:49,920 --> 00:06:53,118 Well, you scared the bad man away. Who's a good girl? 151 00:06:57,280 --> 00:06:58,680 They're still asleep. 152 00:06:58,760 --> 00:07:01,958 Apparently, when I put someone down for a nap, they sleep hard. 153 00:07:03,240 --> 00:07:04,720 That's a weird brag, Howard. 154 00:07:07,160 --> 00:07:08,879 I'll get it. 155 00:07:09,920 --> 00:07:12,799 Bernadette thinks I have poor parenting skills. 156 00:07:13,200 --> 00:07:15,999 Maybe she's basing that on your poor husbanding skills. 157 00:07:17,920 --> 00:07:19,320 Who can say? 158 00:07:19,400 --> 00:07:20,720 I'm bad at a lot of things. 159 00:07:23,320 --> 00:07:24,595 - Hello. - Hi. 160 00:07:25,360 --> 00:07:26,696 Hey, I didn't think you were coming. 161 00:07:26,720 --> 00:07:28,074 I changed my mind. 162 00:07:28,160 --> 00:07:30,496 I thought it'd be fun to spend some time with your children. 163 00:07:30,520 --> 00:07:32,512 - Where are the little scamps? - "Scamps?" 164 00:07:32,600 --> 00:07:36,150 I'm sorry. Tykes? Rugrats? What is the PC term these days? 165 00:07:37,400 --> 00:07:38,436 What's goin' on? 166 00:07:38,560 --> 00:07:42,190 Well, we were in the bookstore, and I found this. 167 00:07:42,280 --> 00:07:43,953 "Experimenting With Babies. 168 00:07:45,000 --> 00:07:47,993 Fifty amazing science projects you can perform on your kid." 169 00:07:48,800 --> 00:07:50,280 You can't experiment on his kids. 170 00:07:50,360 --> 00:07:51,714 Yeah. You're not their father. 171 00:07:51,800 --> 00:07:54,269 You can't experiment on my kids. 172 00:07:54,480 --> 00:07:56,437 Fine. Can I at least play a game with them? 173 00:07:56,520 --> 00:07:59,752 Perhaps, "How developed is your peripheral vision?" 174 00:08:01,440 --> 00:08:02,999 Mine's great, I saw that. 175 00:08:09,680 --> 00:08:11,876 You know these experiments are pretty harmless. 176 00:08:12,480 --> 00:08:14,576 There's one where you just put the baby in front of a mirror, 177 00:08:14,600 --> 00:08:16,557 and you watch them watch themselves. 178 00:08:16,680 --> 00:08:18,717 That sounds adorable. Let me see. 179 00:08:18,800 --> 00:08:21,160 What... How come when she talks about experiments on babies, 180 00:08:21,200 --> 00:08:24,079 you think it's adorable, but when I do it, everyone gets upset? 181 00:08:25,160 --> 00:08:27,959 I think I can speak for all of us. You're just creepy. 182 00:08:30,800 --> 00:08:31,916 No offense. 183 00:08:34,040 --> 00:08:36,839 Hey, this one we can do with both Michael and Halley. 184 00:08:36,920 --> 00:08:38,400 It's called "Grabby Hands." 185 00:08:38,480 --> 00:08:40,551 Wasn't that your nickname in high school? 186 00:08:41,880 --> 00:08:43,360 No, it was "Momma's boy." 187 00:08:43,440 --> 00:08:45,830 But the joke was on them, because I loved my mom. 188 00:08:46,960 --> 00:08:49,600 Guys, listen. "You secure them both in car seats, 189 00:08:49,680 --> 00:08:53,037 and slowly spin a toy at the end of the string above them. 190 00:08:53,120 --> 00:08:55,316 The younger baby tends to reach with either hand. 191 00:08:55,400 --> 00:08:57,437 And the older baby prefers their dominant hand." 192 00:08:57,840 --> 00:08:59,399 That is kind of interesting. 193 00:08:59,880 --> 00:09:01,872 It's not really experimenting on the kids, 194 00:09:02,440 --> 00:09:04,193 it's more like experimenting with the kids. 195 00:09:04,280 --> 00:09:05,919 Well, I guess if you think about it, 196 00:09:06,000 --> 00:09:07,878 it's kind of like playing games with them. 197 00:09:07,960 --> 00:09:09,936 Okay, you know what? When they wake up, we can try one or two of these. 198 00:09:09,960 --> 00:09:11,189 Yay! 199 00:09:13,600 --> 00:09:15,000 I said, "Yay!" 200 00:09:18,440 --> 00:09:19,999 Thank you. It's a brand-new day! 201 00:09:21,440 --> 00:09:23,352 Wow, we got a pretty good crowd here. 202 00:09:23,440 --> 00:09:26,399 I know. But not as big as that booth. What's going on over there? 203 00:09:26,480 --> 00:09:28,153 Oh, yeah, that's Chantix. 204 00:09:28,240 --> 00:09:30,630 Ray Liotta is signing autographs until 2:00. 205 00:09:34,320 --> 00:09:37,074 Hey, I thought we weren't supposed to have our phones in the booth? 206 00:09:37,400 --> 00:09:39,278 That's a you-rule, not a me-rule. 207 00:09:41,640 --> 00:09:42,640 Hey. Can I help you? 208 00:09:42,760 --> 00:09:44,136 Actually, I'm looking for the bathroom. 209 00:09:44,160 --> 00:09:46,231 Ah, yes. It's right next to the laxative booth. 210 00:09:46,320 --> 00:09:47,640 That's clever, right? 211 00:09:50,840 --> 00:09:52,274 So, we meet again. 212 00:09:52,400 --> 00:09:55,438 Oh, yeah. Danny, right? How is your launch going? 213 00:09:55,520 --> 00:09:57,955 Good. Is Dr. Rostenkowski around? 214 00:09:58,040 --> 00:09:59,520 No, she stepped out for a call. 215 00:09:59,600 --> 00:10:02,434 Although, I wouldn't be surprised if she's in line to meet Ray Liotta. 216 00:10:03,560 --> 00:10:05,456 Yeah, somethin' tells me she's not crazy about me. 217 00:10:05,480 --> 00:10:08,154 Yeah, something tells me that, too, and it was her. 218 00:10:08,840 --> 00:10:11,480 That doesn't matter, I was actually hoping to talk to you. 219 00:10:11,560 --> 00:10:12,755 - Really? - Yeah. 220 00:10:13,120 --> 00:10:15,157 You've done a terrific job with Inflaminex. 221 00:10:15,640 --> 00:10:17,916 We're always on the lookout for great sales people. 222 00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:19,400 I think we could make you happy. 223 00:10:19,480 --> 00:10:20,834 Oh, thanks, but I'm pretty happy. 224 00:10:20,920 --> 00:10:23,160 - I could be more happy. - Tell it to your shrink, Karen. 225 00:10:26,640 --> 00:10:27,835 Hey, Howie, everything okay? 226 00:10:27,920 --> 00:10:29,115 Yeah, everything's great. 227 00:10:29,200 --> 00:10:33,513 I was just wondering if we had any large barbecue tongs. 228 00:10:33,600 --> 00:10:36,035 Uh, bottom left drawer. You guys grilling? 229 00:10:36,120 --> 00:10:38,589 No, just playing games with the kids. 230 00:10:39,040 --> 00:10:40,315 Why do you need tongs? 231 00:10:40,400 --> 00:10:41,516 Love you, too. Bye. 232 00:10:42,800 --> 00:10:44,656 I bet Michael grabs it before Halley. 233 00:10:44,680 --> 00:10:45,750 Not a chance. 234 00:10:45,840 --> 00:10:48,435 Halley's a year older, you know she's gonna get it first. 235 00:10:48,520 --> 00:10:51,035 I just think he wants it more! Come on! 236 00:10:51,120 --> 00:10:52,576 Come on, you got this! You got this, Michael! 237 00:10:52,600 --> 00:10:55,399 Grab it! Grab it, Halley! I believe in you. 238 00:10:55,480 --> 00:10:57,551 That was so, so close! Just keep on trying! 239 00:10:57,960 --> 00:11:00,350 Hey, you guys wanna make this more interesting? 240 00:11:00,760 --> 00:11:04,674 By establishing a double-blind protocol, so we have a foundation to publish? Yes. 241 00:11:07,920 --> 00:11:10,310 Look, here's my card. Maybe we can get a drink this weekend? 242 00:11:10,400 --> 00:11:13,280 Oh. I don't know. I'm pretty busy, I have to inventory all the giveaways. 243 00:11:13,320 --> 00:11:15,073 Hey! Beat it! Shoo! 244 00:11:17,400 --> 00:11:18,680 - So what did he want? - Nothing. 245 00:11:18,760 --> 00:11:19,760 He offered her a job. 246 00:11:19,800 --> 00:11:21,917 No one likes a tattletale, Karen! 247 00:11:23,760 --> 00:11:24,637 So what's up, traitor? 248 00:11:24,720 --> 00:11:25,949 Damn it, Karen! 249 00:11:28,720 --> 00:11:30,234 Okay, you wanna engage the babies... 250 00:11:30,320 --> 00:11:31,595 The subjects. 251 00:11:32,760 --> 00:11:35,559 - The babies. - All right. Fine. The babies. 252 00:11:35,640 --> 00:11:37,154 Baby-A and Baby-B. 253 00:11:38,280 --> 00:11:40,840 "Engage them for a minute and take note of their reactions." 254 00:11:40,920 --> 00:11:42,877 There's something familiar about all this. 255 00:11:44,040 --> 00:11:45,110 Okay, go. 256 00:11:45,200 --> 00:11:47,396 Hello, baby. Are you having a pleasant day? 257 00:11:47,480 --> 00:11:50,791 Oh, my God... This is my entire childhood. 258 00:11:52,880 --> 00:11:54,633 Leonard, Leonard, you're tainting my data. 259 00:11:54,720 --> 00:11:56,757 It's, like, word for word! 260 00:11:58,320 --> 00:11:59,356 How much time is left? 261 00:11:59,440 --> 00:12:01,909 - Thirty-five seconds. - Oh, really? He's not reacting at all. 262 00:12:02,000 --> 00:12:04,834 Sheldon, he's a baby. That's not how you talk to him, okay? 263 00:12:04,920 --> 00:12:06,115 Just watch. 264 00:12:06,600 --> 00:12:07,600 Hey. 265 00:12:07,880 --> 00:12:12,193 Halley. Who's your favorite uncle? 266 00:12:12,280 --> 00:12:14,431 Uncle Koo. 267 00:12:16,600 --> 00:12:18,000 I got a dud, let's switch. 268 00:12:19,720 --> 00:12:21,234 Keep trying. It's for science. 269 00:12:21,840 --> 00:12:24,071 Is that all I was to her? Just an experiment? 270 00:12:25,240 --> 00:12:27,471 Michael. Michael, you're making me look bad. 271 00:12:27,560 --> 00:12:30,234 Hey, interact with me. He grabbed my finger. 272 00:12:30,560 --> 00:12:32,756 Oh! He's smiling. I'm doing it. 273 00:12:34,120 --> 00:12:37,113 - That's time. - Aw, really? Can we do one more? 274 00:12:37,200 --> 00:12:39,590 No, I think these guys need to get some food. 275 00:12:39,680 --> 00:12:42,798 By pushing a lever at the end of an obstacle course that we design? 276 00:12:44,400 --> 00:12:47,791 No, by opening the door to a hangar and letting the airplane fly in. 277 00:12:49,200 --> 00:12:51,556 Although, Sheldon, maybe it could be an experiment. 278 00:12:52,120 --> 00:12:54,112 Are you suggesting we color code their food, 279 00:12:54,200 --> 00:12:55,839 so we can examine their diapers later? 280 00:12:58,480 --> 00:12:59,755 Sure. 281 00:12:59,880 --> 00:13:02,714 These diapers are gonna be full of data! 282 00:13:05,200 --> 00:13:09,035 Never thought I would see Sheldon enjoying himself around babies so much. 283 00:13:10,040 --> 00:13:11,633 Yeah, how about that? 284 00:13:11,720 --> 00:13:15,873 So, he just happened to stumble upon a book about experimenting with them 285 00:13:15,960 --> 00:13:19,032 the same day we were hanging out with Howard's kids? 286 00:13:20,760 --> 00:13:22,080 Yep, don't overthink it. 287 00:13:25,280 --> 00:13:29,479 Oh, my God. At sleep-away camp, my cabin was called Control Group. 288 00:13:35,840 --> 00:13:37,672 I can't believe you took his business card. 289 00:13:37,760 --> 00:13:39,911 I can't believe we're still talking about this. 290 00:13:40,000 --> 00:13:42,151 He handed it to me, what was I supposed to do? 291 00:13:42,240 --> 00:13:45,199 Hand it back to him, and tell him to stick it where the sun don't shine. 292 00:13:46,440 --> 00:13:47,794 You are not serious. 293 00:13:47,880 --> 00:13:49,234 Serious as the hepatitis 294 00:13:49,320 --> 00:13:51,915 their cholesterol medication gave thousands of people. 295 00:13:53,760 --> 00:13:54,760 Did it? 296 00:13:55,120 --> 00:13:56,120 Maybe. 297 00:13:57,640 --> 00:13:59,632 You're not really considering this, are you? 298 00:13:59,720 --> 00:14:01,598 I don't know. It's kind of flattering. 299 00:14:02,000 --> 00:14:04,356 Oh, please. He's just using you to get to me. 300 00:14:04,680 --> 00:14:08,037 Or he's trying to get to me, because I'm really good at my job. 301 00:14:08,120 --> 00:14:10,635 Don't be so naive. They're our number one competitor. 302 00:14:10,720 --> 00:14:14,873 They have a rival drug coming out with a name I wish we thought of, Forsootha. 303 00:14:15,880 --> 00:14:18,554 It's got "soothe" right in it, how did we miss that? 304 00:14:19,440 --> 00:14:22,114 You know, our brand recognition is three times higher than theirs. 305 00:14:22,200 --> 00:14:25,079 And I did that with a stupid product name and no assistant. 306 00:14:25,480 --> 00:14:27,995 You only have this job because I gave it to you. 307 00:14:28,080 --> 00:14:30,993 You know who else was begging you to head up their sales team? Nobody. 308 00:14:31,560 --> 00:14:33,870 Well, you know who's begging me now? Danny. 309 00:14:34,200 --> 00:14:35,839 Can't believe this is how you thank me. 310 00:14:35,920 --> 00:14:40,312 I thanked you by thanking you. And I sent you that fancy box of pears! 311 00:14:40,440 --> 00:14:42,033 What am I supposed to do with 20 pears, 312 00:14:42,120 --> 00:14:43,679 have a pear party? 313 00:14:48,880 --> 00:14:50,792 Ooh! What a juicy pear. 314 00:14:53,800 --> 00:14:54,995 Where are the kids? 315 00:14:55,280 --> 00:14:57,590 Oh. Sheldon's helping Howard give them a bath. 316 00:14:57,680 --> 00:14:58,557 Hmm. 317 00:14:58,640 --> 00:15:02,077 So you really think you can trick Sheldon into liking babies? 318 00:15:04,160 --> 00:15:07,312 I slept with him, I married him. You wanna bet against me? 319 00:15:11,080 --> 00:15:12,275 You were right, Amy. 320 00:15:12,360 --> 00:15:16,195 There were so many valuable experiments to perform on them during bath time. 321 00:15:17,600 --> 00:15:18,875 You don't say. 322 00:15:21,040 --> 00:15:23,953 I do. I tested their object permanence with a rubber duck, 323 00:15:24,040 --> 00:15:26,760 and we took a run at Archimedes' water displacement, 324 00:15:26,840 --> 00:15:29,071 but that went right over their heads. 325 00:15:29,680 --> 00:15:30,936 Well, I'm glad you had a good day. 326 00:15:30,960 --> 00:15:32,633 I did. It's so funny, 327 00:15:32,720 --> 00:15:35,952 we did all these experiments on them and they didn't even notice. 328 00:15:37,560 --> 00:15:41,236 I know, I was worried it would be obvious, but it wasn't. 329 00:15:44,280 --> 00:15:46,600 I guess we should go and let Howard get them ready for bed. 330 00:15:46,680 --> 00:15:48,990 Yeah, do you think he'd let us come back and do some more? 331 00:15:49,480 --> 00:15:50,936 Maybe we could take them to the park? 332 00:15:50,960 --> 00:15:54,954 Smart. There'll be more babies. It's a bigger sample size. 333 00:16:01,040 --> 00:16:02,040 Where did Leonard go? 334 00:16:02,960 --> 00:16:04,474 Just tell me the truth, Mother. 335 00:16:06,240 --> 00:16:09,950 Was my whole childhood just one big experiment? 336 00:16:10,040 --> 00:16:11,269 Of course not, dear. 337 00:16:11,360 --> 00:16:13,875 It was thousands of small experiments. 338 00:16:15,800 --> 00:16:19,316 So, that's all I was to you, a test subject? 339 00:16:19,880 --> 00:16:23,396 No, you were my baby, and I found you fascinating. 340 00:16:24,440 --> 00:16:25,440 Really? 341 00:16:25,520 --> 00:16:28,672 Yes, watching you develop, tracking your progress. 342 00:16:29,440 --> 00:16:33,912 I know I'm not the warmest of parents, but it was time we spent together. 343 00:16:34,000 --> 00:16:38,233 And honestly, those are some of my fondest memories. 344 00:16:40,680 --> 00:16:41,750 When did you stop? 345 00:16:42,120 --> 00:16:45,033 Oh. I can't tell you. The experiment isn't over. 346 00:16:50,240 --> 00:16:53,199 Zangen's a fine company. They got a couple of good drugs, 347 00:16:53,280 --> 00:16:55,237 but we control 60% of the market. 348 00:16:55,520 --> 00:16:57,200 Hell, commissions on just our fungal creams 349 00:16:57,240 --> 00:16:58,833 will put you in a new Mercedes. 350 00:16:59,920 --> 00:17:02,355 Danny. Danny, look at me. Does this face sell fungal creams? 351 00:17:04,080 --> 00:17:06,470 No. This face is cholesterol drugs and above. 352 00:17:08,200 --> 00:17:09,880 Playing hard to get, huh? 353 00:17:10,440 --> 00:17:12,272 No one's ever accused me of that before. 354 00:17:13,400 --> 00:17:16,120 Look, why don't I just give you a number and see what you think? 355 00:17:16,520 --> 00:17:19,558 Ooh. Are you gonna write it on a napkin and slide it over to me? 356 00:17:20,040 --> 00:17:22,191 No, I was just gonna say it. 357 00:17:23,360 --> 00:17:24,555 Oh. 358 00:17:24,640 --> 00:17:26,896 Do you want me to write it on a napkin and slide it over to you? 359 00:17:26,920 --> 00:17:27,920 Yeah. 360 00:17:28,560 --> 00:17:29,596 You got it. 361 00:17:31,840 --> 00:17:33,274 Danny, you rat bastard! 362 00:17:34,680 --> 00:17:36,360 What? I'm just making your friend an offer. 363 00:17:36,400 --> 00:17:38,835 Yeah, he's writing it on a napkin, like in the movies. 364 00:17:41,440 --> 00:17:43,909 That's not an offer. Do you know how amazing this girl is? 365 00:17:44,000 --> 00:17:45,195 Aw. You think I'm amazing? 366 00:17:45,280 --> 00:17:46,316 Stay out of this! 367 00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:48,477 I'm serious. 368 00:17:48,560 --> 00:17:51,837 Not only is she a hell of a salesperson, she's the hardest worker I've ever seen. 369 00:17:51,920 --> 00:17:53,936 I know. That's why I'm trying to steal her from you. 370 00:17:53,960 --> 00:17:55,736 Well, then, you're gonna have to do a lot better than this, 371 00:17:55,760 --> 00:17:58,280 because I promise you, I'm not gonna let her go without a fight. 372 00:17:58,360 --> 00:17:59,999 You do not want that. She's a biter. 373 00:18:00,880 --> 00:18:02,200 Look, just think about it. 374 00:18:04,160 --> 00:18:06,959 You know, I don't have to. Thanks, but I'm happy where I am. 375 00:18:07,360 --> 00:18:08,360 Let's go. 376 00:18:11,520 --> 00:18:13,096 Can I just see what he wrote on the napkin? 377 00:18:13,120 --> 00:18:14,120 What napkin? 378 00:18:20,640 --> 00:18:24,520 You know, spending time with Michael and Halley today 379 00:18:24,600 --> 00:18:27,513 really made me think about our future children. 380 00:18:29,680 --> 00:18:30,680 Huh. 381 00:18:30,760 --> 00:18:33,434 What an interesting and completely unforeseen development. 382 00:18:35,200 --> 00:18:36,759 What are you thinking? 383 00:18:36,840 --> 00:18:38,877 Well, I just can't decide. 384 00:18:38,960 --> 00:18:42,840 Either five sets of triplets or three sets of quintuplets. 385 00:18:44,680 --> 00:18:47,120 You know what, it doesn't matter as long as they're healthy... 386 00:18:47,680 --> 00:18:49,160 and divisible by three. 387 00:18:50,880 --> 00:18:52,394 That's a lot of babies, Sheldon. 388 00:18:52,640 --> 00:18:56,714 Oh. Only for humans. For frogs, it's just a drop in the bucket. 389 00:18:57,440 --> 00:19:00,274 Well, I'm sorry I'm not a frog. 390 00:19:00,360 --> 00:19:03,910 Oh. Don't feel bad, Amy. You're good enough for me.