1
00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:03,039
♪ Oh, Mandy

2
00:00:03,040 --> 00:00:07,879
♪ Well, you came and
you gave without taking

3
00:00:07,880 --> 00:00:10,039
♪ But I sent you away

4
00:00:10,040 --> 00:00:12,359
♪ Oh, Mandy

5
00:00:12,360 --> 00:00:17,239
♪ Well, you kissed me and
stopped me from shaking

6
00:00:17,240 --> 00:00:19,319
♪ And I need you today

7
00:00:19,320 --> 00:00:21,480
♪ Oh, Mandy... ♪

8
00:00:25,880 --> 00:00:28,720
-You wanted to see me?
-Take a seat, Mandy.

9
00:00:34,440 --> 00:00:37,599
Mandy, how long have you been
working at the call centre now?

10
00:00:37,600 --> 00:00:39,199
Oh, quite a while now.

11
00:00:39,200 --> 00:00:40,239
About three hours?

12
00:00:40,240 --> 00:00:42,599
Three-and-a half maybe,
if you don't count lunch?

13
00:00:42,600 --> 00:00:44,959
Look, is this about me getting
into a fight with my supervisor?

14
00:00:44,960 --> 00:00:46,119
Because he started it.

15
00:00:46,120 --> 00:00:48,439
Said I wasn't allowed to
smoke if I'm on the phone.

16
00:00:48,440 --> 00:00:51,159
But I can't think of anything
to say if I'm not smoking.

17
00:00:51,160 --> 00:00:52,639
It's nothing to do with that.

18
00:00:52,640 --> 00:00:54,879
Mandy, do you know what
message always plays

19
00:00:54,880 --> 00:00:56,799
just before a call is answered?

20
00:00:56,800 --> 00:00:58,759
Er, "Your call is
important to us",

21
00:00:58,760 --> 00:01:02,519
"but we're experiencing
unexpectedly high call volumes,

22
00:01:02,520 --> 00:01:04,479
"so please visit
the website instead,

23
00:01:04,480 --> 00:01:06,759
"because we don't want
to hire any more staff"?

24
00:01:06,760 --> 00:01:07,879
No, after that.

25
00:01:07,880 --> 00:01:10,399
"Calls may be recorded
for training purposes."

26
00:01:10,400 --> 00:01:12,759
Oh, yeah, but, I mean, you
don't actually do that.

27
00:01:12,760 --> 00:01:15,239
I mean, who'd want to listen
back to all those calls?

28
00:01:15,240 --> 00:01:16,280
I do.

29
00:01:17,760 --> 00:01:19,479
You record it on
cassettes still?

30
00:01:19,480 --> 00:01:21,599
It's much better audio
quality than digital.

31
00:01:21,600 --> 00:01:23,719
And once I've listened,
I can use it to make

32
00:01:23,720 --> 00:01:25,519
a mix tape for a friend.

33
00:01:25,520 --> 00:01:29,119
This is you at 10.15am today.

34
00:01:29,120 --> 00:01:32,199
ON TAPE: - But it's been six weeks
now, can't I just get a refund?

35
00:01:32,200 --> 00:01:33,879
You can take your
fucking refund,

36
00:01:33,880 --> 00:01:36,199
shove it up your
shit pipe, mate.

37
00:01:36,200 --> 00:01:38,439
He was chancing
his arm! Scammer.

38
00:01:38,440 --> 00:01:40,279
I was saving the company money.

39
00:01:40,280 --> 00:01:42,840
This is you at 10.55am.

40
00:01:44,080 --> 00:01:48,279
No. No, you can't talk to my
manager, you fucking bell end.

41
00:01:48,280 --> 00:01:50,919
11.10am.

42
00:01:50,920 --> 00:01:53,559
You shit-for-brains wanker.

43
00:01:53,560 --> 00:01:55,799
Knob off, you dick.

44
00:01:55,800 --> 00:01:58,200
Refund? Get fucked!

45
00:01:59,240 --> 00:02:01,480
Oh, I'm not listening
to this, you knobhead.

46
00:02:02,720 --> 00:02:05,639
You're a fucking moron, mate.

47
00:02:05,640 --> 00:02:07,519
Go on, off you piss.

48
00:02:07,520 --> 00:02:09,119
TAPE RECORDER CLICKS OFF

49
00:02:09,120 --> 00:02:11,119
What have you got to
say for yourself Mandy?

50
00:02:11,120 --> 00:02:14,479
Well, firstly, can I say
that I'm very touched

51
00:02:14,480 --> 00:02:17,199
and extremely honoured that
you've chosen tapes of me

52
00:02:17,200 --> 00:02:18,599
to use for training others.

53
00:02:18,600 --> 00:02:21,159
It's probably the first time
in my life I've been used as

54
00:02:21,160 --> 00:02:23,039
some sort of
educational role model.

55
00:02:23,040 --> 00:02:27,239
Also, do I get some sort of bonus
for providing these training tapes?

56
00:02:27,240 --> 00:02:30,279
These are going to be used
for training purposes, Mandy.

57
00:02:30,280 --> 00:02:32,399
For training people
what NOT to say.

58
00:02:32,400 --> 00:02:34,919
-Eh?!
-Mandy, you're fired.

59
00:02:34,920 --> 00:02:36,599
Effective immediately.

60
00:02:36,600 --> 00:02:39,719
I'm going to need your
badge and your gun.

61
00:02:39,720 --> 00:02:42,359
Sorry, I-I mean, I'm going to
need your headset and your key fob

62
00:02:42,360 --> 00:02:43,759
to the gender-neutral toilets.

63
00:02:43,760 --> 00:02:45,959
Aren't you meant to give me
two weeks' notice or something?

64
00:02:45,960 --> 00:02:49,119
Oh, no, Mandy. No, you've brought
the call centre into disrepute,

65
00:02:49,120 --> 00:02:52,359
so I can fire you immediately
without notice, or payment,

66
00:02:52,360 --> 00:02:55,039
or HR sticking their
nervous little beaks in.

67
00:02:55,040 --> 00:02:58,359
I'd ring up and complain, but
I know I'd never get through!

68
00:02:58,360 --> 00:02:59,800
Goodbye, Mandy.

69
00:03:02,640 --> 00:03:04,759
Not paying me?

70
00:03:04,760 --> 00:03:07,280
All right. I'm
takin' this, then.

71
00:03:09,000 --> 00:03:15,074
Do you want subtitles for any video?
-=[ ai.OpenSubtitles.com ]=-

72
00:03:23,040 --> 00:03:25,279
COMPUTER CHIMES

73
00:03:25,280 --> 00:03:27,759
Windows 95.

74
00:03:27,760 --> 00:03:29,120
That's exciting.

75
00:03:35,080 --> 00:03:37,120
Come on. Why's it
not doing anything?

76
00:03:43,240 --> 00:03:45,399
SHOP BELL JANGLES

77
00:03:45,400 --> 00:03:47,879
Mandy! What are you doing here?

78
00:03:47,880 --> 00:03:50,239
-Shouldn't you be at the call centre?
-Got let go.

79
00:03:50,240 --> 00:03:52,439
They have to make hard
choices in the ever-worsening

80
00:03:52,440 --> 00:03:53,919
global economic situation.

81
00:03:53,920 --> 00:03:56,639
They always start with the
little people, don't they?

82
00:03:56,640 --> 00:03:58,799
Did they give you
any sort of pay-out?

83
00:03:58,800 --> 00:04:00,279
No. I got a computer out of it.

84
00:04:00,280 --> 00:04:02,359
But it just sits there,
not doing anything.

85
00:04:02,360 --> 00:04:03,759
I mean, I can do that myself.

86
00:04:03,760 --> 00:04:05,879
Have you connected
it to the internet?

87
00:04:05,880 --> 00:04:07,999
-The what?
-The internet.

88
00:04:08,000 --> 00:04:10,559
The information super motorway?

89
00:04:10,560 --> 00:04:13,359
The W-W-W-W-W-dot?

90
00:04:13,360 --> 00:04:15,799
The wide, wide world web?

91
00:04:15,800 --> 00:04:18,519
With it, you can do all sorts
of things with a computer.

92
00:04:18,520 --> 00:04:21,879
You can watch old TV
clips, rate plumbers,

93
00:04:21,880 --> 00:04:24,039
say if people are hot or not.

94
00:04:24,040 --> 00:04:25,759
Ha! The world is
your Oyster card.

95
00:04:25,760 --> 00:04:27,239
How do I do that?

96
00:04:27,240 --> 00:04:28,599
You need to get band-broad.

97
00:04:28,600 --> 00:04:30,479
The faster, the better.

98
00:04:30,480 --> 00:04:31,919
Sounds complicated.

99
00:04:31,920 --> 00:04:33,439
Other people seem to manage it.

100
00:04:33,440 --> 00:04:35,439
You just call the
band-broad people.

101
00:04:35,440 --> 00:04:36,719
All right. I'll
see what I can do.

102
00:04:36,720 --> 00:04:39,479
-I'm off now, Lola. See you later.
-Thank you, my dear.

103
00:04:39,480 --> 00:04:41,520
BABY FUSSES

104
00:04:39,480 --> 00:04:41,519
-God bless you.
-Thank you.

105
00:04:41,520 --> 00:04:44,039
-Eh-heh. -Who were that?
-Suzy.

106
00:04:44,040 --> 00:04:46,999
I've rented the flat
upstairs to her on Airbnb.

107
00:04:47,000 --> 00:04:49,359
That's another thing you
can do on the internet.

108
00:04:49,360 --> 00:04:51,039
Poor girl and her new baby.

109
00:04:51,040 --> 00:04:52,839
Nowhere else would take her.

110
00:04:52,840 --> 00:04:55,959
So, now I can charge her
a fortune for her rent.

111
00:04:55,960 --> 00:04:57,759
Can you believe it, Mandy?

112
00:04:57,760 --> 00:05:00,719
I have reinvented myself
into a mum landlord!

113
00:05:00,720 --> 00:05:02,999
Don't you need certificates
to rent a place out?

114
00:05:03,000 --> 00:05:05,199
Get all your electrics checked
by the council, or summat?

115
00:05:05,200 --> 00:05:07,879
No, you don't need to bother
with anything like that.

116
00:05:07,880 --> 00:05:09,279
Not on the internet.

117
00:05:09,280 --> 00:05:11,199
There are no rules on the net.

118
00:05:11,200 --> 00:05:13,799
I've just kitted out the
place out with a few things

119
00:05:13,800 --> 00:05:15,039
that I bought from eBay.

120
00:05:15,040 --> 00:05:16,639
Very cheap.

121
00:05:16,640 --> 00:05:19,159
I'm sure they're all
in very good condition.

122
00:05:19,160 --> 00:05:20,199
SHE CHUCKLES

123
00:05:20,200 --> 00:05:22,559
ELECTRICAL SPARKING

124
00:05:22,560 --> 00:05:25,720
HOLD MUZAK PLAYS OVER PHONE

125
00:05:28,000 --> 00:05:29,399
Hello? How can I help?

126
00:05:29,400 --> 00:05:30,479
Erm, hello.

127
00:05:30,480 --> 00:05:34,559
-Er, I'd like to sign up for your band-broad, please.
-OK.

128
00:05:34,560 --> 00:05:37,759
Let me just see if there are any
packages available in your area.

129
00:05:37,760 --> 00:05:39,999
If you could give me your
postcode, and then...

130
00:05:40,000 --> 00:05:42,159
Hang, on is that you
from the call centre?

131
00:05:42,160 --> 00:05:44,399
Is... Is that Mandy Carter?

132
00:05:44,400 --> 00:05:47,439
-Oh! I'm not dealing with that prick.
-Not dealing with that fucking idiot.

133
00:05:47,440 --> 00:05:49,599
SHE SIGHS

134
00:05:49,600 --> 00:05:52,039
See what I can do.

135
00:05:52,040 --> 00:05:54,039
The Smiths?

136
00:05:54,040 --> 00:05:55,320
That's them from next door.

137
00:05:56,720 --> 00:05:58,360
Let's put my old password in.

138
00:05:59,880 --> 00:06:01,280
"Password."

139
00:06:03,920 --> 00:06:06,919
All right, let's
try "password"...

140
00:06:06,920 --> 00:06:08,800
...but the O is a zero.

141
00:06:10,520 --> 00:06:12,799
Oh, fuck me! They are crafty.

142
00:06:12,800 --> 00:06:15,279
What they trying to hide?

143
00:06:15,280 --> 00:06:18,280
DOG BARKS IN DISTANCE

144
00:06:21,280 --> 00:06:23,439
Excuse me? Mr Smith?

145
00:06:23,440 --> 00:06:25,359
What's the name of your dog?

146
00:06:25,360 --> 00:06:27,560
-Bobby!
-Thank you.

147
00:06:32,400 --> 00:06:36,599
B-O-B-B-Y.

148
00:06:36,600 --> 00:06:39,439
Oh, fuck me! They are devious.

149
00:06:39,440 --> 00:06:42,839
What about "Bobby"...

150
00:06:42,840 --> 00:06:46,239
...but, again, the O is a zero?

151
00:06:46,240 --> 00:06:48,919
Yes! We're in!

152
00:06:48,920 --> 00:06:52,040
Now, to take a drive down
the information hyper-subway.

153
00:06:54,120 --> 00:06:55,359
Bonanza.

154
00:06:55,360 --> 00:06:58,239
BONANZA THEME PLAYS

155
00:06:58,240 --> 00:06:59,679
Yes...

156
00:06:59,680 --> 00:07:01,799
He's generating speed
with his back legs,

157
00:07:01,800 --> 00:07:03,040
and his balance is good!

158
00:07:05,720 --> 00:07:08,119
You're not getting
any younger, are you?

159
00:07:08,120 --> 00:07:10,599
Kim and Khloe take India.

160
00:07:10,600 --> 00:07:13,799
Was I meant to be a
princess, or what?!

161
00:07:13,800 --> 00:07:15,880
Pavements remain very dangerous.

162
00:07:17,440 --> 00:07:19,879
It's a glimpse into the
centre of the Earth.

163
00:07:19,880 --> 00:07:21,760
Realising it's not
worth the risk...

164
00:07:23,040 --> 00:07:25,679
But behind the public
facade of Royal duty

165
00:07:25,680 --> 00:07:29,319
was a hidden secret life
of marital betrayal.

166
00:07:29,320 --> 00:07:31,319
What do all these
people have in common?

167
00:07:31,320 --> 00:07:34,919
Well, all of them hide
a dark and cold secret

168
00:07:34,920 --> 00:07:37,320
just beneath their
artificial skin.

169
00:07:41,800 --> 00:07:44,720
Four teenagers and
a 12-year-old...

170
00:07:48,560 --> 00:07:51,759
I don't know what I'm seeing
here, but it's just insane.

171
00:07:51,760 --> 00:07:53,240
Covid-19 strain...

172
00:07:54,640 --> 00:07:57,199
- Get the - BLEEP - outta here!
- I will go!

173
00:07:57,200 --> 00:07:59,119
She's a human!

174
00:07:59,120 --> 00:08:01,799
Is it any wonder people
are afraid of technology?

175
00:08:01,800 --> 00:08:05,280
VOICES OVERLAP

176
00:08:07,120 --> 00:08:10,679
Only Kim K can make construction
materials look cool...

177
00:08:10,680 --> 00:08:12,399
VOICES STOP

178
00:08:12,400 --> 00:08:13,999
SHE SOBS

179
00:08:14,000 --> 00:08:15,839
SHOP BELL JANGLES

180
00:08:15,840 --> 00:08:18,119
Mandy! Are you OK?

181
00:08:18,120 --> 00:08:19,879
You look very pale.

182
00:08:19,880 --> 00:08:22,159
Went down a wormhole
last night, Lola.

183
00:08:22,160 --> 00:08:24,319
You're thin, Mandy, but I
didn't think you could fit

184
00:08:24,320 --> 00:08:27,159
-down a worm's hole.
-An internet wormhole!

185
00:08:27,160 --> 00:08:29,359
I spent all night
on social media,

186
00:08:29,360 --> 00:08:31,799
comparing myself
to Kim Kardashians.

187
00:08:31,800 --> 00:08:34,239
Now I feel worthless
about my body image.

188
00:08:34,240 --> 00:08:35,719
I blame the internet.

189
00:08:35,720 --> 00:08:37,479
I now have very low self-esteem.

190
00:08:37,480 --> 00:08:39,879
I didn't even know what
self-esteem was until yesterday -

191
00:08:39,880 --> 00:08:40,999
I had to Google it.

192
00:08:41,000 --> 00:08:43,839
You can't go comparing yourself
to Kim Kardashian, Mandy.

193
00:08:43,840 --> 00:08:45,119
It doesn't make sense.

194
00:08:45,120 --> 00:08:46,639
You'll never be as good as her.

195
00:08:46,640 --> 00:08:49,199
No. No, I'll never
be as good as her,

196
00:08:49,200 --> 00:08:52,439
with her dream life all built
on hard work and talent.

197
00:08:52,440 --> 00:08:54,599
But I can try and
look more like her.

198
00:08:54,600 --> 00:08:56,599
I'm going to get
plastic surgery, Lole.

199
00:08:56,600 --> 00:08:59,879
It's the only thing that
might make me feel any better.

200
00:08:59,880 --> 00:09:01,479
I'm going to get bum implants.

201
00:09:01,480 --> 00:09:03,439
Implants?! Ah!

202
00:09:03,440 --> 00:09:05,519
They can be very
expensive, Mandy.

203
00:09:05,520 --> 00:09:07,719
Especially if you get
both bum cheeks done.

204
00:09:07,720 --> 00:09:10,359
Well, I won't walk around with one
fat cheek and one thin one, am I?

205
00:09:10,360 --> 00:09:12,239
What'll that do for
me low self-esteem?

206
00:09:12,240 --> 00:09:15,239
A good implant can cost £20,000.

207
00:09:15,240 --> 00:09:17,399
Even I would charge 10,000.

208
00:09:17,400 --> 00:09:19,119
And that is mate's rates.

209
00:09:19,120 --> 00:09:20,879
And cutting corners.

210
00:09:20,880 --> 00:09:22,480
There must be a cheaper way.

211
00:09:47,960 --> 00:09:49,759
Er, 'scuse me?

212
00:09:49,760 --> 00:09:54,199
-I-Is this 117 B-Back...
-Yes, that's it.

213
00:09:54,200 --> 00:09:55,799
So, do you want shish or doner?

214
00:09:55,800 --> 00:09:57,679
Or we have very nice
chicken? Very nice.

215
00:09:57,680 --> 00:09:59,039
Oh, no, I'm not here to eat.

216
00:09:59,040 --> 00:10:01,279
I thought this was a
plastic surgery clinic?

217
00:10:01,280 --> 00:10:02,879
I'm here for bum implants.

218
00:10:02,880 --> 00:10:04,359
-Yes! You must be Mandy.
-Yeah.

219
00:10:04,360 --> 00:10:06,079
Ah, yes, we have
been expecting you.

220
00:10:06,080 --> 00:10:09,079
-Let me give these a quick clean before the procedure, OK?
-Yeah.

221
00:10:09,080 --> 00:10:11,799
Come through. Come,
Mandy, come, come, come.

222
00:10:11,800 --> 00:10:13,839
HE CLEARS HIS THROAT HE COUGHS

223
00:10:13,840 --> 00:10:15,200
COUGH ECHOES

224
00:10:17,880 --> 00:10:19,520
Oh! Hold on.

225
00:10:21,720 --> 00:10:24,120
-Help? -No.
-OK.

226
00:10:25,520 --> 00:10:26,800
This way.

227
00:10:29,080 --> 00:10:31,919
So... how big you want bum?

228
00:10:31,920 --> 00:10:33,559
The bigger, the better, really.

229
00:10:33,560 --> 00:10:36,639
Erm, at least as big as Kim
Kardashian's, if not bigger.

230
00:10:36,640 --> 00:10:37,919
-You like Kim Kardash?
-Yeah.

231
00:10:37,920 --> 00:10:39,879
You know she has all
her work done here?

232
00:10:39,880 --> 00:10:42,039
-Really? Kim came here?
-Yes!

233
00:10:42,040 --> 00:10:44,480
We have her photo
here, look. Look, look.

234
00:10:47,280 --> 00:10:49,479
-What else did she have done?
-Everything.

235
00:10:49,480 --> 00:10:51,439
She had everything done.

236
00:10:51,440 --> 00:10:56,359
Her tits, bum, er,
teeth, lips, everything.

237
00:10:56,360 --> 00:10:58,439
Maybe I'll get me
lips done, as well.

238
00:10:58,440 --> 00:11:00,999
We do the bum first, then
I'll throw in the lips. OK?

239
00:11:01,000 --> 00:11:02,759
-Done.
-Any garlic sauce with that?

240
00:11:02,760 --> 00:11:04,559
-What?
-Ah, sorry.

241
00:11:04,560 --> 00:11:06,279
-Habit. -Oh.
-OK.

242
00:11:06,280 --> 00:11:08,239
Sit down. OK?

243
00:11:08,240 --> 00:11:10,079
Lie back.

244
00:11:10,080 --> 00:11:11,279
Relax.

245
00:11:11,280 --> 00:11:13,839
You are in the hands
of a professional.

246
00:11:13,840 --> 00:11:15,480
-The other...
-Oh, yeah.

247
00:11:17,640 --> 00:11:18,799
This is the bum.

248
00:11:18,800 --> 00:11:20,719
MUSIC: Milkshake by Kelis

249
00:11:20,720 --> 00:11:22,959
♪ My milkshake brings
all the boys to the yard

250
00:11:22,960 --> 00:11:25,079
♪ And they're like,
it's better than yours

251
00:11:25,080 --> 00:11:27,159
♪ Damn right, it's
better than yours

252
00:11:27,160 --> 00:11:29,239
♪ I could teach you
but I'd have to charge

253
00:11:29,240 --> 00:11:31,479
♪ My milkshake brings
all the boys to the yard

254
00:11:31,480 --> 00:11:33,599
♪ And they're like,
it's better than yours

255
00:11:33,600 --> 00:11:35,639
♪ Damn right, it's
better than yours

256
00:11:35,640 --> 00:11:37,719
♪ I could teach you
but I'd have to charge

257
00:11:37,720 --> 00:11:39,759
♪ I know you want it

258
00:11:39,760 --> 00:11:42,200
♪ The thing that makes me

259
00:11:43,520 --> 00:11:47,160
♪ What the guys
go crazy for... ♪

260
00:11:48,760 --> 00:11:49,959
SHOP BELL JANGLES

261
00:11:49,960 --> 00:11:52,399
Mandy! You are back!

262
00:11:52,400 --> 00:11:54,199
How was Istanbul?

263
00:11:54,200 --> 00:11:57,119
It is filled with
history there, isn't it?

264
00:11:57,120 --> 00:11:59,719
-So romantic.
-Romantic?

265
00:11:59,720 --> 00:12:01,399
It were mainly men spitting.

266
00:12:01,400 --> 00:12:03,599
But the good news is,
I got me arse done.

267
00:12:03,600 --> 00:12:05,119
What do you think?

268
00:12:05,120 --> 00:12:07,199
Take that, Kim Kardashian!

269
00:12:07,200 --> 00:12:08,879
Got me lips done, too.

270
00:12:08,880 --> 00:12:11,919
Two-for-one - get one lip
done, get the other lip free.

271
00:12:11,920 --> 00:12:14,599
Er... It looks a
little bit sore.

272
00:12:14,600 --> 00:12:17,319
Said they'd settle down
after a couple of months.

273
00:12:17,320 --> 00:12:20,799
Well, let me take a closer
look at this famous bum.

274
00:12:20,800 --> 00:12:23,559
Whoa! It is big.

275
00:12:23,560 --> 00:12:25,080
Very big!

276
00:12:26,600 --> 00:12:28,159
Is it getting bigger?

277
00:12:28,160 --> 00:12:30,239
No! This is as big as
they said it could be,

278
00:12:30,240 --> 00:12:32,879
otherwise it'd rupture and I'd
never be able to sit down again.

279
00:12:32,880 --> 00:12:34,999
Imagine having to spend
your whole life standing up.

280
00:12:35,000 --> 00:12:36,919
It'd be like being a
Beefeater, or summat.

281
00:12:36,920 --> 00:12:38,839
No, it's definitely
getting bigger.

282
00:12:38,840 --> 00:12:40,839
The bigger, the
better, eh, Lole?

283
00:12:40,840 --> 00:12:43,159
Er, I don't think
that is true, Mandy.

284
00:12:43,160 --> 00:12:44,559
Look, go and lay down.

285
00:12:44,560 --> 00:12:46,400
I want to inspect
your bum implants.

286
00:12:49,040 --> 00:12:50,879
Ah. Mandy?

287
00:12:50,880 --> 00:12:53,879
What did they use in the
implant? Silicone or saline?

288
00:12:53,880 --> 00:12:55,439
Oh, nothing like that.

289
00:12:55,440 --> 00:12:56,999
-What, then?
-Fat.

290
00:12:57,000 --> 00:12:59,439
-What?!
-Lamb fat, from the kebab meat.

291
00:12:59,440 --> 00:13:01,559
They keep a load of it
in old ice-cream tubs.

292
00:13:01,560 --> 00:13:03,599
That is not very
hygienic, Mandy!

293
00:13:03,600 --> 00:13:06,839
It's like something out of Gordon
Ramsay's Nightmare Kitchens.

294
00:13:06,840 --> 00:13:09,399
I said no at first, cos I'm
trying to be vegetarian,

295
00:13:09,400 --> 00:13:11,919
but they said it wasn't
like I was eating the stuff,

296
00:13:11,920 --> 00:13:14,759
and that it was natural -
unlike these man-made implants.

297
00:13:14,760 --> 00:13:18,959
Mandy, there is definitely
something wrong with your bum.

298
00:13:18,960 --> 00:13:20,959
I think there's an infection.

299
00:13:20,960 --> 00:13:23,319
But what I can do for you,
Mandy, for a small fee,

300
00:13:23,320 --> 00:13:26,799
because we are best friends,
is to drain the abscess with

301
00:13:26,800 --> 00:13:29,719
a hot needle and take
away the infection.

302
00:13:29,720 --> 00:13:31,119
Get the pus out.

303
00:13:31,120 --> 00:13:34,239
-Would you like me to do that for you, Mandy?
-Yes, please, Lola!

304
00:13:34,240 --> 00:13:35,439
OK.

305
00:13:35,440 --> 00:13:38,600
Let me just go and get one of the
needles I use for the ear-piercing.

306
00:13:45,720 --> 00:13:48,119
This might hurt a little bit.

307
00:13:48,120 --> 00:13:49,519
MUFFLED SCREAM

308
00:13:49,520 --> 00:13:51,079
Ah. I haven't done it yet!

309
00:13:51,080 --> 00:13:52,199
That wasn't me!

310
00:13:52,200 --> 00:13:53,799
- MUFFLED: - Help!

311
00:13:53,800 --> 00:13:55,159
It's coming from outside!

312
00:13:55,160 --> 00:13:56,559
Fire!

313
00:13:56,560 --> 00:13:58,959
Help! Fire!

314
00:13:58,960 --> 00:14:01,159
-What happened?!
-The lamp caught on fire!

315
00:14:01,160 --> 00:14:02,879
The smoke-detector
didn't go off!

316
00:14:02,880 --> 00:14:05,559
-Smoke-detector?
-What smoke-detector? -Please!

317
00:14:05,560 --> 00:14:07,200
Save my baby, please!

318
00:14:05,560 --> 00:14:07,199
BABY WAILS

319
00:14:07,200 --> 00:14:08,719
I'm not a very good catch!

320
00:14:08,720 --> 00:14:11,039
They used to call me
Butterfingers at school!

321
00:14:11,040 --> 00:14:13,439
-Which is a form of micro aggression.
-Please!

322
00:14:13,440 --> 00:14:16,160
Don't worry! I know
exactly what to do.

323
00:14:17,880 --> 00:14:19,559
Suzy!

324
00:14:19,560 --> 00:14:21,399
Throw your baby onto my arse!

325
00:14:21,400 --> 00:14:23,159
It will have a very
gentle landing.

326
00:14:23,160 --> 00:14:25,239
It's stuffed with
rancid lamb fat.

327
00:14:25,240 --> 00:14:26,999
Do it, Suzy!

328
00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:28,999
It might be your only hope!

329
00:14:29,000 --> 00:14:31,599
Don't worry, I won't charge
you for the damage in the flat.

330
00:14:31,600 --> 00:14:33,239
Do it!

331
00:14:33,240 --> 00:14:35,239
Wait!

332
00:14:35,240 --> 00:14:38,879
If we're going to do it, at
least let us get it on camera.

333
00:14:38,880 --> 00:14:42,239
We can monetize this
any way it goes.

334
00:14:42,240 --> 00:14:44,399
-Come on, Suzy!
-Do it, Suzy!

335
00:14:44,400 --> 00:14:45,680
Do it, Suzy!

336
00:14:46,680 --> 00:14:48,160
-Do it!
-Ah!

337
00:14:49,520 --> 00:14:52,359
Ah! Got you!

338
00:14:52,360 --> 00:14:54,079
Well done, Mandy!

339
00:14:54,080 --> 00:14:55,799
Although it's disgusting,

340
00:14:55,800 --> 00:14:57,799
your bum has saved a
little girl's life.

341
00:14:57,800 --> 00:15:00,239
And that's done wonders
for my self-esteem!

342
00:15:00,240 --> 00:15:02,679
And look! The video
has already gone viral!

343
00:15:02,680 --> 00:15:05,159
I've broken the internet!
I'm bigger than Kim!

344
00:15:05,160 --> 00:15:06,399
-Me next!
-No!

345
00:15:06,400 --> 00:15:07,439
Agh!

346
00:15:07,440 --> 00:15:09,519
♪ Look at that booty
Show me the booty

347
00:15:09,520 --> 00:15:11,359
♪ Gimme the booty,
I want the booty

348
00:15:11,360 --> 00:15:13,119
♪ Back up the booty
I need the booty

349
00:15:13,120 --> 00:15:15,479
♪ I like the booty
Oh, what a booty

350
00:15:15,480 --> 00:15:17,319
♪ Shakin' that booty
I saw the booty

351
00:15:17,320 --> 00:15:19,159
♪ I want the booty
Lord, what a booty

352
00:15:19,160 --> 00:15:21,599
♪ Bring on the booty
Give up the booty

353
00:15:21,600 --> 00:15:23,679
♪ Lovin' the booty, round booty

354
00:15:23,680 --> 00:15:25,519
♪ Down for the booty
I want the booty

355
00:15:25,520 --> 00:15:27,799
♪ Huntin' the booty
Chasin' the booty

356
00:15:27,800 --> 00:15:29,679
♪ Casin' the booty
Gettin' the booty

357
00:15:29,680 --> 00:15:31,879
♪ Beautiful booty, smokin' booty

358
00:15:31,880 --> 00:15:34,359
♪ Talk to the booty, more booty

359
00:15:34,360 --> 00:15:36,080
♪ Fine booty... ♪

359
00:15:37,305 --> 00:16:37,905