1 00:00:07,841 --> 00:00:10,426 Just have a seat right there. Would you like a drink or? 2 00:00:10,427 --> 00:00:11,677 - No. - No? 3 00:00:11,678 --> 00:00:13,512 How about a fresh glass of water? 4 00:00:13,513 --> 00:00:16,974 I have to just go back and gather myself with my buddies 5 00:00:16,975 --> 00:00:19,894 - before we start this. Okay? - Okay. 6 00:00:19,895 --> 00:00:21,354 - Right. Good. - But we are on the clock. 7 00:00:21,355 --> 00:00:23,439 Oh, yeah. And for the record, you know, 8 00:00:23,440 --> 00:00:26,359 you might want to jot down how well you're being treated 9 00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:29,029 at this professional establishment. 10 00:00:29,780 --> 00:00:31,447 - Frank, get over here. - Is she from the newspaper? 11 00:00:31,448 --> 00:00:33,282 We are in big trouble. 12 00:00:33,283 --> 00:00:35,952 We gotta come up with a statement for this reporter. 13 00:00:35,953 --> 00:00:38,204 - She's gonna butcher us. - Yeah, this is bad. 14 00:00:38,205 --> 00:00:40,581 Why don't we play dumb? Why do we have to come up with a statement? 15 00:00:40,582 --> 00:00:43,834 Because they found 500 gallons of baby oil dumped in the Schuylkill River. 16 00:00:43,835 --> 00:00:46,462 Wait. Dee might be right, 'cause they can't actually prove that that was us. 17 00:00:46,463 --> 00:00:48,798 Well, the 200 Paddy's pub T-shirts floating around in it 18 00:00:48,799 --> 00:00:50,841 - aren't exactly helping our case, pal. - Yeah, not helping. 19 00:00:50,842 --> 00:00:52,718 This is a good thing. This could be our Paddy's-gate. 20 00:00:52,719 --> 00:00:55,054 - Okay, there you go. - No, but gates aren't a good thing. 21 00:00:55,055 --> 00:00:56,264 I mean, Pizzagate, Watergate. 22 00:00:56,265 --> 00:00:57,848 - Nipplegate. Nipplegate. - Nipplegate. 23 00:00:57,849 --> 00:00:59,433 Janet Jackson's career was never the same. 24 00:00:59,434 --> 00:01:00,518 You're right, what happened... 25 00:01:00,519 --> 00:01:03,062 - Some things you gotta keep covered up. - Based off that. Yeah. 26 00:01:03,063 --> 00:01:05,773 - We've gotta come up with a statement. - Guys, guys, guys, guys! 27 00:01:05,774 --> 00:01:07,066 We can handle this. 28 00:01:07,067 --> 00:01:09,443 I mean this is why we went to that corporate retreat in Idaho. 29 00:01:09,444 --> 00:01:10,653 - Hmm. - Right, right. 30 00:01:10,654 --> 00:01:13,447 We didn't go to the retreat so much as watched clips of it on YouTube, 31 00:01:13,448 --> 00:01:14,699 but, you know, you're right, Mac. 32 00:01:14,700 --> 00:01:18,452 Normally a situation like this would have me clawing all your faces off, 33 00:01:18,453 --> 00:01:21,248 but I'm not gonna do that. I'm gonna utilize my words. 34 00:01:22,457 --> 00:01:24,584 I do see your hand is still in a bit of a claw. 35 00:01:24,585 --> 00:01:25,876 Yeah, I was ready to pounce. 36 00:01:25,877 --> 00:01:27,420 I had it hidden behind my head. I was ready... 37 00:01:27,421 --> 00:01:29,922 - Yeah, I hid it behind my leg. - I had a feeling. 38 00:01:29,923 --> 00:01:32,758 - Should we un... - No, let's all unclaw our hands. 39 00:01:32,759 --> 00:01:34,885 - Right? Because that was the old way. - Yeah, yeah. 40 00:01:34,886 --> 00:01:35,970 This is the new way, right? 41 00:01:35,971 --> 00:01:37,763 We've got the tools from the corporate retreat. 42 00:01:37,764 --> 00:01:39,599 - We've got the vocabulary. - Yeah. 43 00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:41,809 We've got these awesome fleece vests inspired by the retreat. 44 00:01:41,810 --> 00:01:43,894 - Oh, my God, I love the fleece. - God, I love these vests. 45 00:01:43,895 --> 00:01:45,396 You can let it all go under here. 46 00:01:45,397 --> 00:01:48,024 I appreciate you springing for that, Frank. Thank you very much. 47 00:01:48,025 --> 00:01:50,234 So, listen, we can handle this unpleasantry 48 00:01:50,235 --> 00:01:53,029 with the grace and elegance of any major corporation 49 00:01:53,030 --> 00:01:58,285 by utilizing a little thought leadership and simply talking this thing out. 50 00:02:00,000 --> 00:02:06,074 51 00:02:22,726 --> 00:02:25,227 First and foremost, the business must be protected at all times. 52 00:02:25,228 --> 00:02:26,312 - Yeah. - Yes. 53 00:02:26,313 --> 00:02:28,564 The business is infinitely more important than any individual. 54 00:02:28,565 --> 00:02:32,943 Yes, we are of course a family, but human emotion notwithstanding, 55 00:02:32,944 --> 00:02:35,905 I would be remiss not to mention that we are a business first, 56 00:02:35,906 --> 00:02:39,158 and as a business, we must behave as such. 57 00:02:39,159 --> 00:02:43,537 So I would like to posit, respectfully, of course, that we put forth an offering. 58 00:02:43,538 --> 00:02:44,789 Yes, a lamb if you will. 59 00:02:44,790 --> 00:02:48,751 No, I would say, uh, that lamb right now could be tender and delicious, 60 00:02:48,752 --> 00:02:51,712 but we have kind of bigger issues that we're dealing with 61 00:02:51,713 --> 00:02:52,797 that we need to discuss 62 00:02:52,798 --> 00:02:55,883 and maybe, you know, eating lamb is not the best thing. 63 00:02:55,884 --> 00:02:57,927 - Momentarily speaking. - Thank you for that, Charlie, 64 00:02:57,928 --> 00:03:00,596 but of course I'm speaking of a sacrificial lamb. 65 00:03:00,597 --> 00:03:02,723 - Ah! - Maybe we need to 66 00:03:02,724 --> 00:03:04,308 walk through the series of events 67 00:03:04,309 --> 00:03:06,769 of the incident to figure out who the fall guy should be, 68 00:03:06,770 --> 00:03:11,649 and I would like to respectfully point out that the phrase is fall "guy." 69 00:03:11,650 --> 00:03:14,694 Thank you for pointing out that gender inequity, Dee. 70 00:03:14,695 --> 00:03:17,196 And, henceforth, let's refer to that position 71 00:03:17,197 --> 00:03:18,489 - as "fall person." - Mmm. 72 00:03:18,490 --> 00:03:22,451 Or we could circle back to, uh, animal-related, uh, conversations. 73 00:03:22,452 --> 00:03:26,622 We could consider "fall fish," uh, or "scapefish" or even "fall bird," 74 00:03:26,623 --> 00:03:27,706 and then we're back to Dee. 75 00:03:27,707 --> 00:03:29,501 Oh gosh, I'm so sorry guys, 76 00:03:31,545 --> 00:03:34,839 but my hand is so tightly clenched into a claw. 77 00:03:34,840 --> 00:03:36,424 - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Same. 78 00:03:36,425 --> 00:03:38,634 - I'm feeling the claw again. - Same. 79 00:03:38,635 --> 00:03:39,969 All right, so why don't we do this? 80 00:03:39,970 --> 00:03:42,847 Let's all take a deep breath before we continue this conversation. 81 00:03:42,848 --> 00:03:44,348 Unclaw our hands. 82 00:03:51,148 --> 00:03:52,149 I think Dee is right. 83 00:03:53,150 --> 00:03:56,068 I think we got to take this mess from the beginning to find out how we got here. 84 00:03:56,069 --> 00:03:57,987 - Uh-huh. - Find out who's really to blame. 85 00:03:57,988 --> 00:03:59,071 Now, as you recall, 86 00:03:59,072 --> 00:04:00,282 it all started several weeks ago... 87 00:04:00,866 --> 00:04:01,866 Whoa! 88 00:04:01,867 --> 00:04:04,994 When Frank found that jug out back. 89 00:04:04,995 --> 00:04:06,620 Yo, let me blow on that. 90 00:04:06,621 --> 00:04:09,623 No, you make sounds when you bang on it, not blow on it. 91 00:04:09,624 --> 00:04:11,292 - No, you blow on it. - No, no. Yeah, yeah. 92 00:04:11,293 --> 00:04:13,461 It sounds different when you put water... 93 00:04:13,462 --> 00:04:15,671 - But it's gonna be much deeper, like... - No, no, no. He's right. 94 00:04:15,672 --> 00:04:17,840 - You don't blow on it... - If you blow on it like that it gets... 95 00:04:17,841 --> 00:04:19,508 You turn it upside-down... 96 00:04:19,509 --> 00:04:21,343 You don't bang on it... 97 00:04:21,344 --> 00:04:24,764 That led to a vigorous debate which in turn led to vigorous clawing 98 00:04:24,765 --> 00:04:28,143 until we decided to stop fighting and, you know, simply get our own jugs. 99 00:04:31,730 --> 00:04:33,898 Annoyingly, however, the jugs were filled with fluid. 100 00:04:33,899 --> 00:04:35,901 What are we supposed to do with all this fluid? 101 00:04:36,526 --> 00:04:41,322 Uh... Yeah, can't really play them as an instrument until we... 102 00:04:41,323 --> 00:04:42,740 - Oh. - Yeah, that's a problem. 103 00:04:42,741 --> 00:04:45,117 We could... w-wash the bar with it. 104 00:04:45,118 --> 00:04:48,329 Uh, you don't wanna wash the bar with a... with a water-based liquid. 105 00:04:48,330 --> 00:04:49,914 - Make a fire and... - Plants love that. 106 00:04:49,915 --> 00:04:51,874 - Make a fire and put water... - Make a fire and put it out. 107 00:04:51,875 --> 00:04:53,834 What are you talking about? We're not gonna make a fire. 108 00:04:53,835 --> 00:04:55,836 - Well, if we start a fire... - Why would we start a fire? 109 00:04:55,837 --> 00:04:58,255 So we... so we have a reason to use all this liquid. 110 00:04:58,256 --> 00:05:02,218 After an hour-long argument about the best way to dispose of the fluid, 111 00:05:02,219 --> 00:05:04,678 we caved and decided the best way to make the jugs empty 112 00:05:04,679 --> 00:05:06,806 was to simply drink the water. 113 00:05:06,807 --> 00:05:10,518 Now if I'm braising something, is that a way to cook something, 114 00:05:10,519 --> 00:05:11,811 or is that shellacking it? 115 00:05:11,812 --> 00:05:13,145 Like, am I putting sauce on it? 116 00:05:13,146 --> 00:05:14,939 The inadvertent effect of the water cooler 117 00:05:14,940 --> 00:05:17,483 was not just hydration, but conversation. 118 00:05:17,484 --> 00:05:19,568 Is it about the sauce or the cooking technique, or both? 119 00:05:19,569 --> 00:05:20,945 - It's about the crisping. - About both. 120 00:05:20,946 --> 00:05:23,489 The water tank became a think tank for business scaffolding, 121 00:05:23,490 --> 00:05:26,784 as well as recent health initiatives and, you know, general interest. 122 00:05:26,785 --> 00:05:30,871 Well, now I've taken to using baby oil almost exclusively 123 00:05:30,872 --> 00:05:34,124 when I get out of the shower, you know, I-I don't know if you guys know this, 124 00:05:34,125 --> 00:05:37,086 but you can actually put a tablespoon of baby oil in your coffee in the morning 125 00:05:37,087 --> 00:05:39,214 and it resets the pH balance of your gut biome. 126 00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:40,840 You drink it? 127 00:05:40,841 --> 00:05:43,926 You know, if you're gonna dump stuff, the best place is the ocean. 128 00:05:43,927 --> 00:05:47,555 I mean, you know, you in a pinch, you go to a lake or a river, 129 00:05:47,556 --> 00:05:51,225 but you wanna get rid of something, ocean is the only way to go. 130 00:05:51,226 --> 00:05:53,519 Dennis, how do they get the oil out of the baby? 131 00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:56,689 Do they have to mash the babies up or grind them? 132 00:05:56,690 --> 00:05:59,900 Is it babies that are sick and dying already, or what is the oil... 133 00:05:59,901 --> 00:06:02,486 Don't be an idiot, Charlie. The babies are alive. 134 00:06:02,487 --> 00:06:05,030 They just wring them out like an old rag. 135 00:06:05,031 --> 00:06:07,825 The Cybertruck is by far the coolest piece of machinery 136 00:06:07,826 --> 00:06:09,618 that the space nerd has ever made. Right? 137 00:06:09,619 --> 00:06:11,120 - Absolutely. - I love that truck. 138 00:06:11,121 --> 00:06:12,872 I'm furious that all cars don't look like that. 139 00:06:12,873 --> 00:06:14,415 Dude, totally. You know what it is? 140 00:06:14,416 --> 00:06:16,542 It delivers on the promise of the future from our youth. 141 00:06:16,543 --> 00:06:17,751 - Yes. - Right? 142 00:06:17,752 --> 00:06:20,004 We thought all cars were going to look like that back in the day. 143 00:06:20,005 --> 00:06:22,464 Hard lines, sharp corners, DeLorean-like materials. 144 00:06:22,465 --> 00:06:25,092 Yeah, you know, it's the transportation fitting of a Terminator. 145 00:06:25,093 --> 00:06:27,136 - Totally a Terminator. - Yeah, absolutely. 146 00:06:27,137 --> 00:06:28,512 Yeah, it's like a rhombus on wheels. 147 00:06:28,513 --> 00:06:29,972 - Right, right. Absolutely. - That's right. 148 00:06:29,973 --> 00:06:31,515 We were firing on all cylinders, 149 00:06:31,516 --> 00:06:35,769 but things took a most exciting turn when one particular topic was raised. 150 00:06:35,770 --> 00:06:37,981 Gentlemen, what are your thoughts on slap fighting? 151 00:06:39,357 --> 00:06:42,359 Slap fighting? I'm not aware of this. 152 00:06:42,360 --> 00:06:44,111 Oh. Well, let me tell you. 153 00:06:44,112 --> 00:06:47,114 Just like the Cybertruck is the future of transportation, 154 00:06:47,115 --> 00:06:49,951 slap fighting is the future of dispute mitigation. 155 00:06:52,162 --> 00:06:55,247 And, my God, was he right. We had to try our hand at it. 156 00:06:55,248 --> 00:06:58,375 - The Egyptians, they like the cats. - Yeah. They like them. 157 00:06:58,376 --> 00:07:01,253 I know, but it's a... it's a cat-based society, you know what I mean? 158 00:07:01,254 --> 00:07:02,838 Yeah, but I understand that. But... 159 00:07:02,839 --> 00:07:05,341 - The cats are a huge part of their thing. - They like the cats. 160 00:07:05,342 --> 00:07:07,801 Everybody loved it. We swapped out the clawing for slapping. 161 00:07:07,802 --> 00:07:09,928 I mean, we were using it to-to-to settle arguments. 162 00:07:09,929 --> 00:07:12,306 We were using it to end the day, to start the day, 163 00:07:12,307 --> 00:07:13,807 to say goodbye, to say hello... 164 00:07:13,808 --> 00:07:15,768 to celebrate, to mourn, everything, you know. 165 00:07:15,769 --> 00:07:19,439 But then Mac had a business idea. 166 00:07:21,358 --> 00:07:25,861 Gentlemen, let's discuss professional slap fighting. 167 00:07:28,031 --> 00:07:31,201 We were all slapped across the proverbial cheeks with this venture. 168 00:07:31,743 --> 00:07:33,119 Oh, shit. 169 00:07:34,621 --> 00:07:35,622 Take your shirts off, though. 170 00:07:36,206 --> 00:07:38,457 Whoa! 171 00:07:38,458 --> 00:07:41,085 Dennis] It was this hand-face-based business venture 172 00:07:41,086 --> 00:07:43,712 that led to the off-lining of certain corporate assets 173 00:07:43,713 --> 00:07:45,714 into various aquatic bodies. 174 00:07:45,715 --> 00:07:51,303 So, Mac is clearly the prime candidate to fall on the metaphorical sword here. Yes? 175 00:07:51,304 --> 00:07:53,555 - Yeah. Sounds good. - Sure. Well, yeah. That adds up, right? 176 00:07:53,556 --> 00:07:55,974 Mm-hmm. That does seem to be the proper mathing. Yes. 177 00:07:55,975 --> 00:07:57,685 Yeah, I do... I do hear you guys on this. 178 00:07:57,686 --> 00:08:00,145 As long as we're outside of the earshot of this reporter, 179 00:08:00,146 --> 00:08:03,482 I'd like to add, you can stick this line of logic up your various assholes. 180 00:08:03,483 --> 00:08:04,566 Hmm. 181 00:08:04,567 --> 00:08:06,860 - All right, that's harsher language... - Interesting point. 182 00:08:06,861 --> 00:08:08,987 Than I thought we were allowed to use here, but... 183 00:08:08,988 --> 00:08:11,490 Also Dennis is leaving out a core friction point. 184 00:08:11,491 --> 00:08:12,991 Things were going smoothly 185 00:08:12,992 --> 00:08:16,745 until Dennis pointed out that the whole thing sorely lacked eroticism. 186 00:08:16,746 --> 00:08:18,372 Slaps and profits have gone up. 187 00:08:18,373 --> 00:08:19,873 - That's great. - Uh-huh. 188 00:08:19,874 --> 00:08:21,709 But chick saturation has gone down. 189 00:08:21,710 --> 00:08:23,377 - That's not good. - Uh-uh. 190 00:08:23,378 --> 00:08:25,587 The whole thing is sorely lacking eroticism. 191 00:08:25,588 --> 00:08:27,881 - The data is alarming. - Yeah. 192 00:08:27,882 --> 00:08:30,134 - Yeah! Yeah, yeah. - Well, let's fix that. 193 00:08:30,135 --> 00:08:31,218 - Go on. - Yeah, yeah. 194 00:08:31,219 --> 00:08:33,637 He pitched something with the eroticism of mud wrestling 195 00:08:33,638 --> 00:08:35,180 and the aggression of a Cybertruck. 196 00:08:35,181 --> 00:08:37,099 The world just has not delivered 197 00:08:37,100 --> 00:08:40,185 on the future that we were promised when we were growing up. 198 00:08:40,186 --> 00:08:44,022 We were promised mud wrestling. We were promised wet T-shirt contests. 199 00:08:44,023 --> 00:08:46,191 We were promised women going wild. 200 00:08:46,192 --> 00:08:48,944 At a certain point, we stopped women from going wild. 201 00:08:48,945 --> 00:08:50,070 Why did we do that? 202 00:08:50,071 --> 00:08:52,281 - They wanna go wild. - They should go wild. 203 00:08:52,282 --> 00:08:55,701 They want to go wild. Let's let them go wild. 204 00:08:55,702 --> 00:08:59,246 They're too dry, and so they don't feel wild. 205 00:08:59,247 --> 00:09:02,249 Yeah, exactly. Guys, let's get back to our core values. 206 00:09:02,250 --> 00:09:06,837 Th-There is an underserved market for one-on-one erotic sport competition 207 00:09:06,838 --> 00:09:09,631 between scantily-clad, oiled-up women. 208 00:09:09,632 --> 00:09:11,550 He proposed pivoting away from dudes 209 00:09:11,551 --> 00:09:15,805 and investing all of our resources more heavily into women and baby oil. 210 00:09:17,098 --> 00:09:19,184 Whoa! 211 00:09:20,518 --> 00:09:25,314 This is why Dennis's head must roll. I compliment him on the innovation, 212 00:09:25,315 --> 00:09:28,567 but the idea was a little chunky, if I'm being honest. 213 00:09:28,568 --> 00:09:30,194 My personal distaste for women aside, 214 00:09:30,195 --> 00:09:32,071 I think you crapped the bed on the execution. 215 00:09:32,072 --> 00:09:34,323 We were over-leveraged in the baby oil department 216 00:09:34,324 --> 00:09:37,201 and subsequential environmental what-have-yous 217 00:09:37,202 --> 00:09:40,621 from the off-lining have left us in this particular situation. 218 00:09:40,622 --> 00:09:44,500 Which is why I nominate Dennis. Right time, right skull. 219 00:09:44,501 --> 00:09:46,794 - I like it. I like it. - I gotta say I'm impressed. 220 00:09:46,795 --> 00:09:48,587 You know, you're coming at me open-kimono here, 221 00:09:48,588 --> 00:09:50,255 and I appreciate that, so kudos, you know. 222 00:09:50,256 --> 00:09:54,301 But I do think we need to helicopter up, stretch the vantage point a little bit. 223 00:09:54,302 --> 00:09:56,386 I think we need to chew on the key protein here, 224 00:09:56,387 --> 00:09:59,057 - which I believe to be Dee. - Mmm. 225 00:10:00,100 --> 00:10:02,268 With the women slappers in the bar, we were thriving, 226 00:10:03,228 --> 00:10:07,106 but we weren't quite reaching the erotic escape velocity that I was hoping for. 227 00:10:07,107 --> 00:10:08,774 I mean... really, all it is 228 00:10:08,775 --> 00:10:10,901 is there's one lingering problem with the women. 229 00:10:10,902 --> 00:10:13,153 - What? They're ugly. - They're ugly. 230 00:10:13,154 --> 00:10:14,988 - I didn't wanna say it, but they are ugly. - Yeah. 231 00:10:14,989 --> 00:10:16,448 They're a bit gruff, aren't they? 232 00:10:16,449 --> 00:10:20,410 The big issue for me is you can't put baby oil on any of these women, you know. 233 00:10:20,411 --> 00:10:21,495 They'll bite you. 234 00:10:21,496 --> 00:10:24,498 I had one almost bend my arm completely in half. 235 00:10:24,499 --> 00:10:27,918 - I tried to put baby oil on her and she... - I got pinned by her too, man. 236 00:10:27,919 --> 00:10:31,130 Yeah, yeah. So you know, like, chick saturation is up. That's good. 237 00:10:31,131 --> 00:10:34,007 - But the attractive/oil saturation... - It's way down, yeah. 238 00:10:34,008 --> 00:10:36,343 - It's way down. - Way down. Why is that? 239 00:10:36,344 --> 00:10:39,096 So, we need to find a way to lure in hotter women. 240 00:10:39,097 --> 00:10:41,098 Yeah, that's all it is. You know what I mean? 241 00:10:41,099 --> 00:10:42,349 Anybody got any ideas? 242 00:10:42,350 --> 00:10:45,310 Back in the day when we were taking down all the aluminum siding, 243 00:10:45,311 --> 00:10:48,147 what are we gonna do with all that asbestos that was left? 244 00:10:48,148 --> 00:10:50,065 - We dumped it in the Schuylkill. - Oh, you did? 245 00:10:50,066 --> 00:10:51,150 - Yeah. - Okay. 246 00:10:51,151 --> 00:10:55,195 But, in order to get 'em to do it, we lured 'em in with a Cadillac. 247 00:10:55,196 --> 00:10:56,697 Oh! 248 00:10:56,698 --> 00:10:58,115 That's what you gotta do with the women. 249 00:10:58,116 --> 00:10:59,825 - You think we get these gals a Cadillac... - Yeah! 250 00:10:59,826 --> 00:11:02,119 And we say, you know, "You win a slap fight, you get a Cadillac"? 251 00:11:02,120 --> 00:11:03,872 - Everybody needs money. - Wait. 252 00:11:04,539 --> 00:11:06,081 I know exactly what we should do. 253 00:11:06,082 --> 00:11:08,668 Oh! I was thinking the same thing. 254 00:11:09,544 --> 00:11:11,671 I doubt it. 255 00:11:13,756 --> 00:11:16,259 Oh! 256 00:11:16,885 --> 00:11:20,137 Look at this thing. Oh, man. Frank, baby, this is quite the prize. 257 00:11:20,138 --> 00:11:21,763 - Yeah. - Nicely done, Frank. 258 00:11:21,764 --> 00:11:23,724 - Yeah. - Wow. 259 00:11:23,725 --> 00:11:25,225 - Look at the hard angles on this. - Yeah. 260 00:11:25,226 --> 00:11:26,393 It's beautiful, man. 261 00:11:26,394 --> 00:11:29,313 The Cybertruck lured in a much sexier talent pool. 262 00:11:29,314 --> 00:11:31,148 We were really excited about the quality of slapper, 263 00:11:31,149 --> 00:11:34,651 but there was one that stood out above all the others. 264 00:11:34,652 --> 00:11:36,361 I mean, we couldn't take our eyes off her. 265 00:11:36,362 --> 00:11:38,322 I can't wait to see the headlights on her. 266 00:11:38,323 --> 00:11:39,573 - Yeah! - Yeah. 267 00:11:39,574 --> 00:11:41,283 Yeah. Well, and you never will see 'em, Frank. 268 00:11:41,284 --> 00:11:43,744 Because there's only one single headlight. 269 00:11:43,745 --> 00:11:45,787 - It's a single headlight, yeah. - [Frank Oh. 270 00:11:45,788 --> 00:11:48,332 We couldn't give her away. We had to have her. 271 00:11:48,333 --> 00:11:51,585 It wasn't long before we came up with a plan to retain her for ourselves. 272 00:11:51,586 --> 00:11:53,795 We would just have to win the slap contest, you know. 273 00:11:53,796 --> 00:11:56,465 We needed a ringer, someone to tear through these waifish models 274 00:11:56,466 --> 00:11:59,259 and ensure the truck would remain in our portfolio. 275 00:11:59,260 --> 00:12:01,053 Figure something out though. 276 00:12:01,054 --> 00:12:02,180 What are you guys doing? 277 00:12:03,431 --> 00:12:04,432 Huh? 278 00:12:17,820 --> 00:12:20,572 Oh! 279 00:12:29,666 --> 00:12:31,375 Dee was tearing through girls 280 00:12:31,376 --> 00:12:33,085 like a paper shredder through company records. 281 00:12:33,086 --> 00:12:35,921 And we knew she would, as I had explained it with a graph. 282 00:12:35,922 --> 00:12:39,091 The lower the self-esteem, the harder the slap. And Dee could take a hit too. 283 00:12:39,092 --> 00:12:41,009 Right? Years of getting slapped around by Frank, right? 284 00:12:41,010 --> 00:12:42,135 Yeah. 285 00:12:42,136 --> 00:12:43,303 Those were the days. 286 00:12:43,304 --> 00:12:45,556 - Oh, yeah. Better times. - If say so, buddy. If you say so. 287 00:12:46,140 --> 00:12:48,892 She had it all and she delivered slap after slap. 288 00:12:48,893 --> 00:12:51,937 Sexy women, aggressive violence, futuristic trucks. 289 00:12:51,938 --> 00:12:55,732 Everything was going according to plan. Till Dee got knocked out. 290 00:12:58,111 --> 00:13:00,529 Dee, I thank you for your service. I love you like a sister. 291 00:13:00,530 --> 00:13:01,822 Well, I am your sister. 292 00:13:01,823 --> 00:13:03,657 Well, you know, familial ties notwithstanding. 293 00:13:03,658 --> 00:13:05,743 Uh, I think you kinda drained the kettle on that one. 294 00:13:06,327 --> 00:13:07,536 And hey, you know, no offense, 295 00:13:07,537 --> 00:13:10,289 but I think you've proven yourself to be pretty good at taking a fall. 296 00:13:11,499 --> 00:13:14,209 Guys, I know things are getting hot, okay? 297 00:13:14,210 --> 00:13:16,170 But I think we're styling the wrong mannequin here. 298 00:13:16,963 --> 00:13:18,463 I would have won that competition 299 00:13:18,464 --> 00:13:21,174 if it wasn't for our associate deviating from the business plan, 300 00:13:21,175 --> 00:13:22,635 and that would be Charlie. 301 00:13:23,219 --> 00:13:25,137 Oh. Uh... Wow. 302 00:13:25,138 --> 00:13:28,056 He fell back on some old bad habits. 303 00:13:28,057 --> 00:13:29,850 Fool. 304 00:13:30,935 --> 00:13:33,520 What's up? 305 00:13:33,521 --> 00:13:35,689 - What's going on? New car? I like it. - Oh, God. 306 00:13:35,690 --> 00:13:38,734 - Okay. What is this? Why are you here? - Pretty sweet. Is that a Geo? 307 00:13:38,735 --> 00:13:40,610 Well, I got a business opportunity for you. 308 00:13:40,611 --> 00:13:42,195 Oh, a business opportunity? 309 00:13:42,196 --> 00:13:43,613 - Yeah. Check this out. - Oh, good. 310 00:13:43,614 --> 00:13:45,240 - Yeah, you're gonna like this. - Great. I bet. 311 00:13:45,241 --> 00:13:47,117 We're doing these oiled-up slap fights in the bar. 312 00:13:47,118 --> 00:13:48,201 Oiled-up slap fights? 313 00:13:48,202 --> 00:13:50,203 Yeah, we're oiling girls and they're slapping each other. 314 00:13:50,204 --> 00:13:51,455 - You're oiling girls up? - Yeah. 315 00:13:51,456 --> 00:13:53,373 So I could oil you or you could oil yourself, but... 316 00:13:53,374 --> 00:13:55,917 Did you come here to ask me if I want to get oiled by you? 317 00:13:55,918 --> 00:13:57,711 - Are you stalking me again? - Yeah. 318 00:13:57,712 --> 00:14:02,257 Stalking? Whoa. Since when did I ever stalk you? No, that's not my thing. 319 00:14:02,258 --> 00:14:03,592 - Flirting, maybe. But... - Okay. 320 00:14:03,593 --> 00:14:04,885 Hey, look, you don't have to do it, 321 00:14:04,886 --> 00:14:07,721 but I will say that the winner of the thing is gonna get a free truck, 322 00:14:07,722 --> 00:14:10,808 but I suppose you like this car better, you know. 323 00:14:12,185 --> 00:14:13,227 You're giving away a truck? 324 00:14:14,562 --> 00:14:15,563 A Cybertruck. 325 00:14:17,190 --> 00:14:18,273 Mmm. 326 00:14:18,274 --> 00:14:21,109 Little did he know that she wasn't just driving that crappy car, 327 00:14:21,110 --> 00:14:22,569 she was living in it. 328 00:14:30,995 --> 00:14:32,454 The allure of the Cybertruck 329 00:14:32,455 --> 00:14:35,290 and a lifetime of petty misery suffered by this woman 330 00:14:35,291 --> 00:14:36,917 rendered her unstoppable. 331 00:14:36,918 --> 00:14:40,129 Yeah. Okay. Who's next? 332 00:14:42,006 --> 00:14:44,633 Uh... Hey. I got an idea, all right? 333 00:14:44,634 --> 00:14:47,761 W-What if you and I get a little side pot going, right? 334 00:14:47,762 --> 00:14:50,639 You and me, we... we tone down on the slaps, we call it a tie, 335 00:14:50,640 --> 00:14:52,182 and that way we can share the Cyber... 336 00:15:03,486 --> 00:15:04,694 Yeah! 337 00:15:04,695 --> 00:15:06,029 I was sucker-punched. 338 00:15:06,030 --> 00:15:07,447 - No. - No. 339 00:15:07,448 --> 00:15:08,824 - Mm-mmm. - In your dreams. 340 00:15:08,825 --> 00:15:10,117 No. You were looking right at her. 341 00:15:10,118 --> 00:15:12,078 She slapped the shit out of me, but I wasn't ready. 342 00:15:12,578 --> 00:15:14,454 It was uncalled for and it wasn't fair. 343 00:15:14,455 --> 00:15:16,248 To make matters worse, Frank reversed course 344 00:15:16,249 --> 00:15:17,916 and refused to make her whole. 345 00:15:17,917 --> 00:15:19,292 What do you mean I don't get the truck? 346 00:15:19,293 --> 00:15:22,045 - It's all in the terms and conditions. - What? 347 00:15:22,046 --> 00:15:25,048 Look. "Cybertruck not included." Can you read? 348 00:15:25,049 --> 00:15:27,509 - Oh, my God! - Can you read? 349 00:15:27,510 --> 00:15:28,593 - What? - Oh, my God. 350 00:15:28,594 --> 00:15:30,804 - Screw you. Screw you guys so hard! - In plain writing. 351 00:15:30,805 --> 00:15:32,931 - Oh, I'm taking this public. For this. - Don't you dare. 352 00:15:32,932 --> 00:15:35,559 Needless to say, she was pissed, and she promised to go public. 353 00:15:35,560 --> 00:15:37,602 And let's face it, we didn't have permits for any of this. 354 00:15:37,603 --> 00:15:39,896 Which led to the panic and dumping of assets 355 00:15:39,897 --> 00:15:43,066 to erase the trail of corporate culture and create plausible deniability. 356 00:15:43,067 --> 00:15:44,317 I'm gonna call the newspaper. 357 00:15:44,318 --> 00:15:46,945 As the crow flies here, I think we could all see from a bird's-eye view 358 00:15:46,946 --> 00:15:48,446 that had Charlie not invited the Waitress, 359 00:15:48,447 --> 00:15:50,699 none of this would've happened. So Charlie should take the fall. 360 00:15:50,700 --> 00:15:52,742 And I would say all due respect, but I don't respect you. 361 00:15:52,743 --> 00:15:55,620 It's true, Charlie. We may have reached our inflection point. 362 00:15:55,621 --> 00:15:57,581 Okay, great. Yeah, that's all good. Yeah. 363 00:15:57,582 --> 00:16:00,125 And I-I'm hearing you guys, you know, ear-wise. 364 00:16:00,126 --> 00:16:04,212 And, um, you know, mouth-wise, uh, you're giving me various wordables, 365 00:16:04,213 --> 00:16:06,047 uh, that are adding up to thoughts. 366 00:16:06,048 --> 00:16:09,009 This is good. I see how you're trying to clip my wings so that I can fly. 367 00:16:09,010 --> 00:16:11,303 That's not how birds work. That makes them "un-fly." 368 00:16:11,304 --> 00:16:13,638 Okay. I did not know that you were the bird expert. 369 00:16:13,639 --> 00:16:16,933 But I would like to pivot here. You know, before I fall on the sword 370 00:16:16,934 --> 00:16:21,855 and say that I was also using my eyeballs this entire time for various observables. 371 00:16:21,856 --> 00:16:27,319 Because I realized... that Frank was, you know, 372 00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:30,822 growing in hardness as the eroticism in the bar was increasing. 373 00:16:30,823 --> 00:16:33,950 And, uh, he was becoming as hard as a Cybertruck himself, 374 00:16:33,951 --> 00:16:35,035 you know, which you could see. 375 00:16:35,036 --> 00:16:36,953 Cheese, of course, is also on this graph. 376 00:16:36,954 --> 00:16:38,580 - Just keep going. - Uh, moving past. 377 00:16:38,581 --> 00:16:43,168 Well, the main thing here is that I think we now have our open sliced lamb. 378 00:16:43,169 --> 00:16:45,337 You know, open commando person. 379 00:16:45,338 --> 00:16:47,756 - What? - What are you saying? 380 00:16:47,757 --> 00:16:49,132 I'm saying it should be Frank, man. 381 00:16:49,133 --> 00:16:52,177 Because he was throwing an orgy in the basement the entire time. 382 00:16:52,178 --> 00:16:53,803 - What? - Yes. 383 00:16:53,804 --> 00:16:57,015 I realized Frank was trying to capitalize on the erotic environment 384 00:16:57,016 --> 00:16:59,893 and pivot into a more orgasmic business model, right? 385 00:16:59,894 --> 00:17:04,522 And I noticed various unsavory investors were paying Frank 386 00:17:04,523 --> 00:17:06,900 to try to get in on the ground floor. 387 00:17:06,901 --> 00:17:08,401 Dear God. Damn, you are not good at this. 388 00:17:08,402 --> 00:17:10,528 I'm tryna say dudes were paying Frank to go into the basement. 389 00:17:10,529 --> 00:17:11,696 - Mm-hmm. - Right. 390 00:17:11,697 --> 00:17:14,491 And he was failing in his efforts to poach talent from the slapping pool. 391 00:17:14,492 --> 00:17:19,246 Ooh. I like those straps and I can't wait to see it off. Let's go downstairs. 392 00:17:19,247 --> 00:17:21,915 And I knew this 'cause chicks were slapping him constantly. 393 00:17:21,916 --> 00:17:26,294 But then I saw him trying to headhunt for new key players in this thing. 394 00:17:26,295 --> 00:17:29,965 Yo, baby. I need a prostitute. 395 00:17:29,966 --> 00:17:32,467 But he was running up against some logistical hurdles. 396 00:17:32,468 --> 00:17:34,511 Well, when's she coming back from The Bahamas? 397 00:17:34,512 --> 00:17:36,638 So, the slap fighting and the basement full of men. 398 00:17:36,639 --> 00:17:39,724 The whole thing was just a big red flag. He had a target on his back and whatnot. 399 00:17:39,725 --> 00:17:43,979 So, when The Waitress got all pissed off... She wasn't gonna get a Cybertruck, 400 00:17:43,980 --> 00:17:47,148 and the police were potentially going to get involved, Frank panicked. 401 00:17:47,149 --> 00:17:49,150 He was worried about the orgy, 402 00:17:49,151 --> 00:17:52,070 which led to the dumping into the Schuylkills and whatnot. 403 00:17:52,071 --> 00:17:56,992 And so that is why he is the person that... that should take this fall. 404 00:17:56,993 --> 00:17:59,744 Um, also, there's still a bunch of dudes in the basement. 405 00:17:59,745 --> 00:18:01,162 - Uh... What? Right now? - What? 406 00:18:01,163 --> 00:18:02,622 Yeah, there's, like, guys down there now. 407 00:18:02,623 --> 00:18:03,999 - Dude. - Right? How many are down there? 408 00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:06,334 - Eleven. Eleven. Eleven's the answer. - Eleven dudes in the basement. 409 00:18:06,335 --> 00:18:08,503 - The reporter could see all this. - Yeah, one could come up. 410 00:18:08,504 --> 00:18:10,130 - It could be an issue for us. - Oh, shit. 411 00:18:10,131 --> 00:18:12,591 We got to figure out what we're gonna do and get her out of here. 412 00:18:12,592 --> 00:18:15,260 I agree with Charlie. I think Frank should take the fall for the whole thing. 413 00:18:15,261 --> 00:18:17,596 - Well, that's insane. - You drove a Cybertruck into the river. 414 00:18:17,597 --> 00:18:19,848 I didn't know. I thought it was an aquatic vehicle. 415 00:18:19,849 --> 00:18:22,017 - It's an environmental nightmare. - It should be, but it's not. 416 00:18:22,018 --> 00:18:23,643 If anything, it looks like it goes into space. 417 00:18:23,644 --> 00:18:26,396 - Yeah, it should be but it's not. - The liberal press is going to crucify us. 418 00:18:26,397 --> 00:18:27,523 I gotta come clean. 419 00:18:29,066 --> 00:18:30,066 I think the truck is ugly. 420 00:18:30,067 --> 00:18:32,819 Damn it. I knew you were gonna say that. I knew she was gonna say that. 421 00:18:32,820 --> 00:18:36,239 Stupid. You're stupid. I call bullshit on that. 422 00:18:36,240 --> 00:18:37,907 All right. Enough, enough. 423 00:18:37,908 --> 00:18:40,910 I've had enough with the charts and the maps and the graphs. 424 00:18:40,911 --> 00:18:44,456 It's clear you're all good foot soldiers, loyal servants and whatnot. 425 00:18:44,457 --> 00:18:49,586 But it's time we connect the Legos here and boil down to our core values. 426 00:18:49,587 --> 00:18:53,423 Yes, hammer down on our brand identity and come out open commando. 427 00:18:53,424 --> 00:18:55,550 - I said the commando thing. - Didn't make sense the first time. 428 00:18:55,551 --> 00:18:57,677 I thought it was... It sounded cool and I want to circle back. 429 00:18:57,678 --> 00:19:01,015 - Oh, if you're doing it 'cause it's cool... - Okay. I got a plan, and this is it. 430 00:19:03,100 --> 00:19:04,267 Okay. Here we go. 431 00:19:05,353 --> 00:19:08,271 Um, ma'am, we are finally ready to make our statement. 432 00:19:08,272 --> 00:19:09,731 Yeah, yeah. 433 00:19:12,360 --> 00:19:13,693 No comment. 434 00:19:13,694 --> 00:19:19,115 That said, we are no longer gonna drink, serve, or have anything to do 435 00:19:19,116 --> 00:19:20,533 - that represents water. - Yeah. 436 00:19:20,534 --> 00:19:23,286 Water is not the cornerstone of our company. 437 00:19:23,287 --> 00:19:25,413 And we will hereby be getting rid of the water cooler. 438 00:19:25,414 --> 00:19:26,498 - Gone. - Gone. 439 00:19:26,499 --> 00:19:29,125 Excuse me, I-I'm not sure what you're talking about. 440 00:19:29,126 --> 00:19:32,420 Sorry. We got on talking like this when we started over-hydrating. 441 00:19:32,421 --> 00:19:35,006 Yeah, we watched a couple YouTube clips about a corporate retreat. 442 00:19:35,007 --> 00:19:36,508 Got some water, got hydrated. 443 00:19:36,509 --> 00:19:38,593 So, we're not gonna talk about that subject anymore. 444 00:19:38,594 --> 00:19:40,720 - No more water. - No comment is the main thing, right? 445 00:19:40,721 --> 00:19:42,931 - Yeah. What I said in the beginning. - Yeah. And no water. 446 00:19:42,932 --> 00:19:44,767 I'm sorry, do you think I'm a reporter? 447 00:19:45,601 --> 00:19:46,851 Yeah. 448 00:19:46,852 --> 00:19:49,230 No. I'm here for the orgy. 449 00:19:49,814 --> 00:19:51,690 Oh. Oh. 450 00:19:51,691 --> 00:19:54,067 Good. Great. Great. 451 00:19:54,068 --> 00:19:57,071 Oh. Hey, guys, the whore is here. 452 00:19:59,281 --> 00:20:02,617 - I was waiting for you. - I told you guys, man. 453 00:20:02,618 --> 00:20:04,452 - That's one woman. - Yeah. 454 00:20:04,453 --> 00:20:06,871 Yeah. T-That's not an orgy. That's a... 455 00:20:06,872 --> 00:20:08,039 - No. No. - That's a gangbang. 456 00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:09,416 - No. No. - That's a gangbang, yeah. 457 00:20:09,417 --> 00:20:12,210 We really should find a way to exit Frank. 457 00:20:13,305 --> 00:21:13,369 Watch Online Movies and Series for FREE www.osdb.link/lm