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Watch Online Movies and Series for FREE
www.osdb.link/lm

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Ivan would he follow,

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pursue spring
across the world?

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00:01:03,259 --> 00:01:05,237
Five and the Skin

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00:01:08,165 --> 00:01:10,208
I see a flock of birds flying by.

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Why is it light,
agile and safe?

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Why does it follow
in the boundless sky,

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its free course?

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Everything happened as if,
in my journey,

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I let Manila choose me.

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Manila, Maynilla, Manila.

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I have this obsession
with wandering around.

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Looking for what?

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And why here rather than elsewhere?

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I should have preferred Jakarta,

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closer to the equator,
more at the centre of the networks.

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Manila, which has no centre,
is made for those

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that have no centre.

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00:02:01,760 --> 00:02:04,304
Manila,
Southeast Asian heterogeneous,

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made to welcome the wanderer.

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00:02:06,369 --> 00:02:07,419
Picturesque Manila,

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made for that the scenery
can distract you from yourself.

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00:02:10,811 --> 00:02:12,396
Manila's got me.

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I don't have Manila.

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00:02:14,564 --> 00:02:18,443
Days and nights that end up
months, years.

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00:02:18,494 --> 00:02:19,973
It's been almost two years,

27
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and I haven't left yet.

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Here, in with great momentum,
the paint bursts from the walls.

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A carnival, a sad one these days.

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In a foreign city,

31
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a city with an opaque present,

32
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trying to come to terms
with its singularity,

33
00:03:01,403 --> 00:03:05,323
through mental, emotional, passionate
emotional and passionate itineraries,

34
00:03:05,490 --> 00:03:07,534
affective, sexual.

35
00:03:07,701 --> 00:03:10,704
Looking for its
integrity.

36
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Looking for a integrity.

37
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It's far away from ourselves,

38
00:03:20,839 --> 00:03:23,550
of our identity,
that we are searching.

39
00:03:25,302 --> 00:03:26,803
Nothing has changed.

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In any case,
I don't notice it.

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20 years ago,

42
00:03:32,392 --> 00:03:34,394
who I was then,

43
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someone else, of course.

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00:03:36,855 --> 00:03:40,567
Twenty useless years.
Twenty wasted years.

45
00:03:41,026 --> 00:03:42,819
I'm trying to rebuild,
in my mind,

46
00:03:42,986 --> 00:03:45,781
who I was and what I was like
20 years ago.

47
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There are so many characters in novels

48
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that I know better
than this 'me'.

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20 years ago.

50
00:03:59,628 --> 00:04:02,380
Of all my cravings, the strongest
I have is of 'me'.

51
00:04:03,048 --> 00:04:04,591
This bulimia,

52
00:04:04,758 --> 00:04:07,052
no amount of fidgeting
can appease it.

53
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Knowing how to stay,

54
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dwell.

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In this swarming, a reference point.

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Den, landmark, burrow,

57
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where to find your bearings.

58
00:05:01,565 --> 00:05:03,692
I collect images, traces

59
00:05:03,859 --> 00:05:06,528
remains,
memories of places, of links,

60
00:05:06,695 --> 00:05:08,655
the beings of my travels.

61
00:05:08,822 --> 00:05:12,492
What I bring in from the outside,
what I discover here.

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00:05:12,659 --> 00:05:15,745
Here, I pick up words
of a vocabulary I want to be my own.

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The vibrations of movements,
glances caught and then lost.

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I'm recovering myself.

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I tidy up,
I put order in what moves me,

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what could help me,
what little I've acquired.

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Space, at last,
ceases to be outside.

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I feel, for a moment,
the centre.

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A formative, fire-bearing centre,
going instead of drifting,

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00:06:03,585 --> 00:06:05,170
in a few vague points
of the sphere,

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00:06:05,503 --> 00:06:08,006
always groping
towards my circumference.

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Ivan,

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tell me what you love most.

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People or things?

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00:06:29,736 --> 00:06:31,237
I go from hotels to palaces.

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Traveller of the eternal return
to the same luxurious room.

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I imagine myself a hermit's soul
in the midst of cosmopolitan bustle.

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00:06:38,745 --> 00:06:42,749
I like these hotels.
I need them for my hygiene.

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Soul and body,
for their cleanliness,

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do not always use
the same means.

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Luxury has to be bought.

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And I don't have any money.

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I have to find some.

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Playing the middleman,
the broker.

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Using my contacts

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00:07:00,100 --> 00:07:01,966
God, since he is clever,
may know why:

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00:07:02,018 --> 00:07:05,522
I frequently have run-ins
with women. Business women.

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00:07:06,064 --> 00:07:07,565
Women,

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they look the part.

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00:07:09,776 --> 00:07:11,569
Tiger women,

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harpies,

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raptors.

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More raptor then woman.

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00:07:17,742 --> 00:07:19,661
And if I try
to reach the woman,

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00:07:19,828 --> 00:07:22,080
I'm a victim of the virago.

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00:07:23,039 --> 00:07:25,583
Having to play tricks in a zoo,

97
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I can't handle it.

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I cannot forgive
this offence.

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He lowers his eyes,
very tired of seeing the world.

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It's injustice and fate.

101
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It's funny: it was in the Philippines
that Fritz Lang,

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right after the war, made
his worst film.

103
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Intra-muros had just been burned down.

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There was nothing left
of Spanish Manila.

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There wasn't even,
if I may say so,

106
00:08:01,036 --> 00:08:03,204
the film trailer
of today's Manila.

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00:08:03,997 --> 00:08:06,916
Maybe that's why here,
Lang didn't have the eye.

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The function creates the organ.

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Very old, near his house,
retired in the hills,

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00:08:12,172 --> 00:08:13,798
with his poor view,

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he watched, or so he thought,
squirrels playing in the sun.

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He gave them nuts.

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It took me a long time to understand
why he was so insistent

114
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that he hated
Secret Beyond the Door.

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This film that he must
necessarily loved so much

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until the resounding failure
which ruined his production company:

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Diana.

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Diana. It sounds like
the name of a beloved woman.

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One day,

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I realised that Fritz Lang's generosity,
was his naivety.

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His naive dream of believing
that a man could change.

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That men, life can change.

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Wandering in a network of rails,
of wires,

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tracing a web
that confuses me.

125
00:09:09,354 --> 00:09:13,066
In the water, who remembers
that their punishment is over?

126
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Water.

127
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She has done many
other things.

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Like flowing over me.

129
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To be a thick layer.

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A woman is line.

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A woman is color.

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00:10:04,200 --> 00:10:06,786
I've come to
put order inside myself.

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00:10:08,746 --> 00:10:10,081
The canvas.

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A note.

135
00:10:12,083 --> 00:10:13,918
A series of notes.

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00:10:18,214 --> 00:10:20,341
Outside of the noise,
outside of the swarm,

137
00:10:20,717 --> 00:10:22,260
marivaudage.

138
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Marivaudage with images,

139
00:10:25,346 --> 00:10:29,058
to wash away the slag
deposited by the tohu wa-bohu.

140
00:10:32,979 --> 00:10:34,731
In this discord,

141
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agreement.

142
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Your eye is your memory.

143
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The night seems to want
to order the cries.

144
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In the cozy thickness of
this red night.

145
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Me who has lived in illusion,

146
00:12:00,358 --> 00:12:03,111
throughout this life,
rises up one day.

147
00:12:05,238 --> 00:12:08,533
Here, the future is in
the present tense.

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00:12:34,142 --> 00:12:35,601
The clock stopped

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shouts no more.

150
00:12:42,400 --> 00:12:44,277
Around this furniture,

151
00:12:44,444 --> 00:12:48,114
people have lived
a life in accordance with the light.

152
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The light of this furniture.

153
00:12:55,580 --> 00:12:58,458
At that time, we welcomed time.

154
00:12:59,000 --> 00:13:01,961
Outside,
it could rain for a long time.

155
00:13:17,435 --> 00:13:21,230
Will it come back, this almost
forgotten art, from a bygone era?

156
00:13:22,523 --> 00:13:24,067
Will he come back for everyone?

157
00:13:48,174 --> 00:13:50,468
Near hibiscus bushes,

158
00:13:50,635 --> 00:13:52,428
women projected their desire

159
00:13:52,970 --> 00:13:55,056
in an apparent play of lace.

160
00:14:22,166 --> 00:14:25,044
If you're thirsty, drink a Kalamansi.

161
00:14:25,545 --> 00:14:30,383
A small lemon with pungent juice,
under a fragrant green rind.

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00:14:30,948 --> 00:14:33,511
Apply pressure
between thumb and forefinger.

163
00:14:33,678 --> 00:14:37,390
Mix it in the right proportion
with ice-cold water.

164
00:14:37,515 --> 00:14:39,142
The juice is teasing.

165
00:14:39,517 --> 00:14:43,146
You will be
invigorated and refreshed.

166
00:14:43,312 --> 00:14:45,471
Believe me,
it's worth doing without lunch,

167
00:14:45,523 --> 00:14:47,650
to taste,
mid-afternoon,

168
00:14:47,884 --> 00:14:50,262
the voluptuousness of
a bygone Spanish tradition.

169
00:14:50,570 --> 00:14:52,321
The merienda.

170
00:14:52,488 --> 00:14:53,698
Especially when a young girl

171
00:14:54,031 --> 00:14:56,033
that you'd fall in love with
if you we were lazy

172
00:14:56,200 --> 00:14:57,243
is your hostess.

173
00:15:03,541 --> 00:15:06,586
You stop. All you need to do
is move your eyelids back and forth

174
00:15:06,752 --> 00:15:08,421
to find yourself within
yourself.

175
00:15:18,181 --> 00:15:20,475
You'll be able to taste
up until the colors.

176
00:15:24,103 --> 00:15:28,191
Sometimes, women make your
space more attractive.

177
00:16:02,391 --> 00:16:03,643
Ivan,

178
00:16:03,809 --> 00:16:06,646
do you know this poem by a
Japanese woman?

179
00:16:07,813 --> 00:16:10,566
It lists things that
make the heart beat faster.

180
00:16:10,733 --> 00:16:13,319
Like lying alone in a
bedroom

181
00:16:13,486 --> 00:16:15,571
where a delicious perfume lingers.

182
00:16:16,322 --> 00:16:18,533
Like a night when it rains

183
00:16:19,200 --> 00:16:21,619
and we are waiting for someone.

184
00:16:42,348 --> 00:16:45,643
If my inner world resembled
this vast night,

185
00:16:45,810 --> 00:16:49,272
it seems to me,
I'd have no more insomnia.

186
00:16:50,690 --> 00:16:52,608
What remains
of Manila Bay

187
00:16:52,775 --> 00:16:54,735
still lends itself to confidences.

188
00:16:55,820 --> 00:16:58,698
How many times have I
walked along it with Denkar,

189
00:16:58,864 --> 00:17:02,159
who was to become a true
partner for me.

190
00:17:02,326 --> 00:17:06,330
He had guessed
the silences in my past.

191
00:17:18,259 --> 00:17:20,469
We had to
dig very deep.

192
00:17:20,636 --> 00:17:22,722
Destroy the destination
of all bridges.

193
00:17:22,888 --> 00:17:27,143
Make every landscapes
look like a change of scenery.

194
00:17:27,310 --> 00:17:30,229
Force straight
the curve of all horizons.

195
00:17:40,573 --> 00:17:43,868
Manila,
don't think you ever knew me.

196
00:17:49,415 --> 00:17:50,458
In Manila,

197
00:17:50,666 --> 00:17:53,628
sensuality perfumes the
intimacy of the hours.

198
00:17:54,879 --> 00:17:56,464
Manila wasn't greedy

199
00:17:56,631 --> 00:18:00,384
and offered me brief adventures
as if they were flowing vacations.

200
00:18:02,261 --> 00:18:04,263
Balm for my wounds.

201
00:18:36,796 --> 00:18:39,548
It's the first time
I've seen you like this.

202
00:18:39,715 --> 00:18:41,300
You're very handsome.

203
00:18:48,933 --> 00:18:51,769
Is happiness so original that
it's worth talking about?

204
00:19:44,280 --> 00:19:46,657
And ceremoniously keeping it
in an enclosed space.

205
00:19:47,366 --> 00:19:49,326
Maki would accompany me on
my wanderings

206
00:19:49,493 --> 00:19:50,995
from street to street.

207
00:19:56,667 --> 00:19:58,627
Maki's fulfilled solitude
allowed me

208
00:19:58,794 --> 00:20:00,755
to measure my distance.

209
00:20:06,469 --> 00:20:09,722
The most convenient,
most distant woman.

210
00:20:10,514 --> 00:20:12,683
My particular habit.

211
00:20:13,517 --> 00:20:15,311
A connivance

212
00:20:15,478 --> 00:20:17,897
more relaxing than attention,

213
00:20:18,063 --> 00:20:20,399
drawn from silence itself.

214
00:20:45,049 --> 00:20:46,634
By taking Charo,

215
00:20:46,801 --> 00:20:48,052
from Maki's bar,

216
00:20:48,427 --> 00:20:51,347
I had rediscovered an impulse from
my adolescence.

217
00:20:51,514 --> 00:20:52,816
I explained it to myself

218
00:20:52,882 --> 00:20:55,592
by becoming fast friends
with Carding, the driver.

219
00:21:00,898 --> 00:21:04,902
With them, I took the pulse of
the city and its suburbs.

220
00:21:05,069 --> 00:21:07,905
They connected me to this astute,
warm-hearted hustle and bustle,

221
00:21:08,072 --> 00:21:09,865
of resourcefulness.

222
00:21:10,032 --> 00:21:12,827
Because here, you can only
live by your wits.

223
00:21:12,993 --> 00:21:15,788
When you're caught up in a
thousand small jobs from childhood,

224
00:21:15,955 --> 00:21:19,458
it's not about finding the job
that will make you fulfilled.

225
00:21:20,376 --> 00:21:24,088
With Charo,
I hung out very late, or very early,

226
00:21:24,463 --> 00:21:27,883
in refreshment stalls
whose smells and vibes

227
00:21:28,050 --> 00:21:31,053
gave me Manila in all it's glory.

228
00:21:34,056 --> 00:21:36,809
You never knew
how you warmed my heart,

229
00:21:36,934 --> 00:21:38,853
little flower sellers.

230
00:21:39,019 --> 00:21:41,105
And you too, little salesmen

231
00:21:41,480 --> 00:21:44,108
from whom I bought smoke puffs.

232
00:21:45,985 --> 00:21:48,028
Your eyes were screaming.

233
00:21:56,161 --> 00:21:58,622
Manila met Lino Brocka.

234
00:21:58,789 --> 00:22:00,958
Lino Brocka met Manila.

235
00:22:01,959 --> 00:22:04,086
In the plays he stages,
as in his films,

236
00:22:04,461 --> 00:22:07,965
there's all the hustle and bustle
of Manila, right down to the screams.

237
00:22:08,674 --> 00:22:12,636
PETA, a popular theater group,

238
00:22:12,803 --> 00:22:16,056
domiciled in this place
made for theatrical performances,

239
00:22:16,432 --> 00:22:18,517
of the Dulaang Rajah Sulayman,

240
00:22:18,684 --> 00:22:20,519
in the ruins of Fort Santiago.

241
00:22:20,686 --> 00:22:23,606
He runs it with the
enthusiasm of a crusader.

242
00:22:24,165 --> 00:22:26,559
Generous with his time, energy
and with the money

243
00:22:26,609 --> 00:22:28,517
he makes from
commercial films

244
00:22:28,569 --> 00:22:31,697
trying to keep up with the
activities he holds dear.

245
00:22:31,864 --> 00:22:33,574
Money slips
through his fingers,

246
00:22:33,741 --> 00:22:35,299
he's constantly reinvesting,

247
00:22:35,351 --> 00:22:37,645
to the point of exhaustion,
of his working capital.

248
00:22:37,737 --> 00:22:39,622
Is it the abundance of
its activities

249
00:22:39,705 --> 00:22:41,457
that made him a household name?

250
00:22:41,624 --> 00:22:44,877
Is it because millions
de manileños know him,

251
00:22:45,002 --> 00:22:47,004
that by osmosis,
he projected their lives

252
00:22:47,171 --> 00:22:49,798
and their dreams
on screen and on stage?

253
00:22:50,549 --> 00:22:54,011
Lino Brocka,
is the laughter of a joyous dance.

254
00:22:54,178 --> 00:22:56,221
A laugh that spreads like fire.

255
00:22:56,597 --> 00:22:58,849
A vengeful laugh
against horror, sadness

256
00:22:59,016 --> 00:23:01,727
degradation, humiliation,
decrepitude.

257
00:23:01,894 --> 00:23:04,146
Mountain-shaking laughter.

258
00:23:04,521 --> 00:23:08,192
Tragedy becomes laughter
and cruelty becomes tenderness.

259
00:23:16,951 --> 00:23:20,245
Was it too much to ask Maki to
be my accomplice?

260
00:23:20,621 --> 00:23:22,696
She often accompanied me on
peregrinations

261
00:23:22,748 --> 00:23:24,959
that brought me back
to a familiar gallery,

262
00:23:25,125 --> 00:23:28,128
held by a young woman who
had the mischief and audacity

263
00:23:28,504 --> 00:23:32,355
to name one of her
silkscreen prints: Fellatio

264
00:23:34,218 --> 00:23:36,095
Fellatio is a dialogue.

265
00:23:39,682 --> 00:23:42,851
What time is it?...
I don't know..

266
00:23:43,018 --> 00:23:45,229
I fix the wall
as if it were the universe.

267
00:23:45,378 --> 00:23:47,680
The whole space is suddenly
at a standstill.

268
00:24:03,038 --> 00:24:04,915
You've been around for
centuries, Manila,

269
00:24:05,082 --> 00:24:08,627
and it looks like on you,
the centuries just slipped off.

270
00:24:09,837 --> 00:24:11,588
Borders.

271
00:24:12,673 --> 00:24:14,008
Edges.

272
00:24:15,592 --> 00:24:16,802
Orées.

273
00:24:17,678 --> 00:24:19,555
Where are yours?

274
00:24:21,098 --> 00:24:22,808
You're not just one city,
Manila,

275
00:24:22,975 --> 00:24:25,894
you're a motley collection of
small and medium-sized towns,

276
00:24:26,061 --> 00:24:28,105
of more or less autonomous villages.

277
00:24:28,272 --> 00:24:30,858
A city in transit
from a rural colonial town

278
00:24:31,025 --> 00:24:33,819
to a metropolis whose
past is difficult to read

279
00:24:33,986 --> 00:24:36,196
and whose future is hard to see.

280
00:24:53,047 --> 00:24:54,089
Clutter,

281
00:24:54,256 --> 00:24:55,299
swarm.

282
00:24:55,674 --> 00:24:59,178
You're a hollow that purrs
and burns between horizons.

283
00:25:02,848 --> 00:25:04,430
You're like a word
I don't know,

284
00:25:04,483 --> 00:25:05,525
that I'm learning.

285
00:25:06,351 --> 00:25:08,687
Soon, perhaps,
I'll know how to place it

286
00:25:08,854 --> 00:25:10,689
in a coherent sentence.

287
00:25:13,108 --> 00:25:15,194
Jeepneys are
Manila's natural children.

288
00:25:28,749 --> 00:25:31,050
My imagination crosses the obvious.

289
00:25:32,878 --> 00:25:35,714
Do the screams of the rails
run in parallel?

290
00:25:37,674 --> 00:25:38,717
Alone.

291
00:25:39,718 --> 00:25:43,055
Like a rhinoceros among
jeepneys.

292
00:25:50,229 --> 00:25:52,856
Manila,
where the game of encounters

293
00:25:53,023 --> 00:25:54,900
kept me going
reliving tensions,

294
00:25:55,275 --> 00:25:58,821
of yesterday's breakups,
like a psychodrama.

295
00:26:10,079 --> 00:26:11,321
Can you give me a lift?

296
00:26:11,372 --> 00:26:13,658
You told me earlier that
you didn't want to see me anymore.

297
00:26:13,710 --> 00:26:16,255
I won't see you again
because I won't leave you.

298
00:26:16,421 --> 00:26:19,424
- Right. Very true.
- So will you take me?

299
00:26:23,095 --> 00:26:24,847
Don't tell me
that you go into Manila

300
00:26:25,013 --> 00:26:26,890
as you go into a body.

301
00:26:58,422 --> 00:27:00,215
Ivan was bogged down in his past.

302
00:27:01,258 --> 00:27:02,301
Kept harping on it.

303
00:27:03,218 --> 00:27:04,761
Questioned it.

304
00:27:09,808 --> 00:27:13,812
Before me, a jumble of things
that happened to me.

305
00:27:14,813 --> 00:27:17,274
All those for which I blame
myself and repent.

306
00:27:19,443 --> 00:27:21,778
Before me, a jumble of things

307
00:27:21,945 --> 00:27:23,864
that didn't happen to me.

308
00:27:24,781 --> 00:27:27,075
All those for which I blame
myself and repent.

309
00:27:28,160 --> 00:27:31,413
Before of me, a jumble of things
that are nothing.

310
00:27:33,040 --> 00:27:36,084
Only those for which
I blame myself and repent.

311
00:27:38,162 --> 00:27:40,954
If in a certain conversation I had
uttered the phrases

312
00:27:41,006 --> 00:27:44,218
that I elaborate only now,
in half-sleep...

313
00:27:50,007 --> 00:27:52,090
The sentences I forgot
to say at the time

314
00:27:52,142 --> 00:27:54,311
all come to mind.

315
00:27:55,020 --> 00:27:56,063
Clear.

316
00:27:56,855 --> 00:27:58,065
Unavoidable.

317
00:27:59,316 --> 00:28:00,943
Natural.

318
00:28:22,470 --> 00:28:25,080
My imagination intersects
with these obvious facts.

319
00:28:25,550 --> 00:28:27,344
These requirements.

320
00:28:55,914 --> 00:28:57,207
I stare at you

321
00:28:58,250 --> 00:28:59,418
and I dream.

322
00:29:02,546 --> 00:29:04,298
Beautiful as a knee.

323
00:29:04,464 --> 00:29:07,092
Hector invoking, by your life,

324
00:29:07,259 --> 00:29:08,927
by your parents,

325
00:29:09,094 --> 00:29:10,387
by your knees.

326
00:29:13,140 --> 00:29:16,935
Put your hand on my heart.
Listen to how it beats.

327
00:29:17,561 --> 00:29:19,855
Can love be born in a bar?

328
00:29:21,106 --> 00:29:22,399
I don't know the word.

329
00:29:22,566 --> 00:29:24,901
But I can hear my blood,
it's not beating anymore.

330
00:29:26,862 --> 00:29:27,904
Ivan,

331
00:29:28,405 --> 00:29:31,283
you and me,
we know the whole world.

332
00:29:31,575 --> 00:29:34,161
We've known each other
for a long time.

333
00:29:34,328 --> 00:29:35,412
No.

334
00:29:36,538 --> 00:29:40,000
We've lived in the same places,
but never met.

335
00:29:40,167 --> 00:29:42,919
And we have the impression
the other knows the whole world.

336
00:29:45,630 --> 00:29:48,550
Here we are. Ivan's name is Paul.

337
00:29:48,925 --> 00:29:51,334
I told you a part
of a novel I'll never write.

338
00:29:51,386 --> 00:29:54,056
I think I'm prejudiced against
your alter ego.

339
00:29:54,120 --> 00:29:55,497
He must be pretty cynical.

340
00:29:55,574 --> 00:29:57,309
I kept it in broad strokes, though.

341
00:29:57,434 --> 00:29:59,102
This is how I imagine it:

342
00:29:59,269 --> 00:30:01,480
He wants to hurt the
young girl, Arielle.

343
00:30:01,646 --> 00:30:04,274
But suppose he really fell
in love with Arielle...

344
00:30:04,441 --> 00:30:06,182
and that his conduct
is but a safeguard

345
00:30:06,234 --> 00:30:07,903
against the fear of letting go.

346
00:30:08,070 --> 00:30:10,405
Suppose he was the one
who was injured.

347
00:30:10,472 --> 00:30:13,091
And that he's afraid of having
the fatal wound with Arielle.

348
00:30:13,158 --> 00:30:14,910
That may well be.

349
00:30:15,077 --> 00:30:18,163
It may even be true. Reality.

350
00:30:18,330 --> 00:30:19,581
Ivan,

351
00:30:19,956 --> 00:30:21,541
who was Arielle?

352
00:30:21,917 --> 00:30:25,629
Could it have been you?
Arielle becomes Ariane.

353
00:30:26,004 --> 00:30:28,006
Don't try to hurt me.

354
00:30:28,173 --> 00:30:29,966
You're not Arielle.

355
00:30:30,133 --> 00:30:32,177
You're Ariane. And I'm Ivan.

356
00:30:34,137 --> 00:30:36,056
A man who desires you.

357
00:30:38,016 --> 00:30:41,019
Why did I want to see you again?

358
00:30:41,186 --> 00:30:43,563
This isn't like me,
you know.

359
00:30:43,939 --> 00:30:47,317
Perhaps you felt that
I was falling in love with you.

360
00:30:48,402 --> 00:30:51,029
It's not like me either, believe me.

361
00:30:51,196 --> 00:30:55,075
Ivan, what did you do
with all your projects?

362
00:30:55,242 --> 00:30:58,328
I think I'm letting them ripen.

363
00:30:58,495 --> 00:31:01,331
But it's up to you
to make them ripe.

364
00:31:01,498 --> 00:31:04,501
Yes, but time helps
maturity.

365
00:31:05,085 --> 00:31:07,963
But you,
you have to help time.

366
00:31:08,030 --> 00:31:11,132
And letting time work for you
is not the same as being lazy.

367
00:31:13,260 --> 00:31:15,971
To want.
I want infinity.

368
00:31:19,558 --> 00:31:22,227
Manila is a city of
young girls.

369
00:31:22,394 --> 00:31:24,146
It has their softness.

370
00:31:25,397 --> 00:31:28,567
More than anywhere else
we're taken by the spirit of love.

371
00:31:29,609 --> 00:31:32,320
Taken by the spirit of love.

372
00:31:40,704 --> 00:31:42,497
But for fear
to break the armour

373
00:31:42,580 --> 00:31:44,796
of my emotional frigidity,

374
00:31:45,217 --> 00:31:47,435
I had to have the strength
not to transgress

375
00:31:47,502 --> 00:31:50,172
the edges of polite love.

376
00:31:53,425 --> 00:31:55,635
- I don't know your name.
- Ivan.

377
00:31:56,011 --> 00:31:58,054
Ivan, an ancient name.

378
00:31:58,221 --> 00:31:59,723
Ivan and Arielle.

379
00:32:00,599 --> 00:32:02,434
To love me,
you only have days.

380
00:32:02,601 --> 00:32:04,311
Maybe weeks.

381
00:32:04,478 --> 00:32:07,105
- Not your whole life, too?
- I don't think so.

382
00:32:07,188 --> 00:32:08,740
Would you have caressed me?

383
00:32:08,897 --> 00:32:11,743
And you wouldn't have said anything?
You would have accepted?

384
00:32:11,838 --> 00:32:13,198
Perhaps.

385
00:32:14,070 --> 00:32:15,113
Probably, yes.

386
00:32:15,197 --> 00:32:18,116
I'd like to ride with you all night.
Far away.

387
00:32:18,283 --> 00:32:19,743
Across the border.

388
00:32:19,977 --> 00:32:20,797
Which one?

389
00:32:20,919 --> 00:32:23,180
Customs officials would say:
"Are you Madame..."

390
00:32:23,247 --> 00:32:26,161
They would speak in their
language and I would reply in French.

391
00:32:26,249 --> 00:32:29,252
softly, just for you:
"Yes, I'm Mrs. Ivan."

392
00:32:29,419 --> 00:32:31,971
And I would always give the same answer.
For you alone.

393
00:32:32,047 --> 00:32:33,465
And at every checkpoint I'd be

394
00:32:33,590 --> 00:32:36,468
a new woman with new
lips.

395
00:32:37,385 --> 00:32:40,805
I have a photographic memory
of your immobile hands,

396
00:32:41,181 --> 00:32:42,599
softly elongated.

397
00:32:44,643 --> 00:32:46,811
I remember them now,

398
00:32:47,187 --> 00:32:49,147
more than you.

399
00:32:50,524 --> 00:32:52,150
Your slender hands,

400
00:32:52,734 --> 00:32:54,444
a little pale,

401
00:32:54,611 --> 00:32:56,071
a bit mine.

402
00:32:57,155 --> 00:32:59,574
It was a day that you were sitting down,

403
00:32:59,741 --> 00:33:00,784
calm,

404
00:33:01,159 --> 00:33:02,327
on your knees.

405
00:33:03,328 --> 00:33:04,621
Ivan,

406
00:33:04,788 --> 00:33:07,541
do you know this poem by a
Japanese woman?

407
00:33:08,500 --> 00:33:11,336
It lists the things that
make the heart beat

408
00:33:11,753 --> 00:33:14,297
like some young girls' gestures

409
00:33:15,632 --> 00:33:17,551
when, for the first time,

410
00:33:17,717 --> 00:33:19,427
they catch a glimpse of love.

411
00:33:19,844 --> 00:33:21,388
I had fun winding him up.

412
00:33:21,500 --> 00:33:23,755
Tomorrow, he'll be
raging against young girls

413
00:33:23,807 --> 00:33:25,108
who keep gentlemen waiting.

414
00:33:25,175 --> 00:33:27,653
I wish I could be there
to see the look on his face.

415
00:33:27,720 --> 00:33:29,802
It will still be the same face,
you know.

416
00:33:29,854 --> 00:33:33,400
Perhaps.
But I'd still like to see it.

417
00:33:33,567 --> 00:33:35,318
Do you often stand guys up like that?

418
00:33:35,485 --> 00:33:38,363
Oh, no. But it's not
that bad, is it?

419
00:33:38,530 --> 00:33:41,741
Arielle,
tell me you're marivauding.

420
00:33:42,117 --> 00:33:44,578
Of course, Ivan, I'm marivauding.

421
00:33:44,744 --> 00:33:46,371
Do I look like I'm
serious?

422
00:33:48,493 --> 00:33:50,937
When I said
I was a little boy....

423
00:33:51,055 --> 00:33:52,890
Who loves little girls.

424
00:33:53,378 --> 00:33:55,880
I've read that eating human
flesh gives you pimples.

425
00:33:56,506 --> 00:33:57,841
I'm as hungry as a wolf.

426
00:33:58,216 --> 00:33:59,676
As a little wolf.

427
00:33:59,843 --> 00:34:01,177
Take a bite of me.

428
00:34:02,220 --> 00:34:04,806
Look at this woman's knees.

429
00:34:05,181 --> 00:34:06,683
She's looking at you.

430
00:34:09,561 --> 00:34:10,895
What are you doing?

431
00:34:13,315 --> 00:34:14,566
I'm looking at you.

432
00:34:15,150 --> 00:34:16,693
You looked at me, dreamy.

433
00:34:17,235 --> 00:34:19,487
As if I were space.

434
00:34:19,654 --> 00:34:22,574
It always moved me,
the way you look at things.

435
00:34:23,408 --> 00:34:25,702
- My way of looking at what?
- Everything.

436
00:34:26,494 --> 00:34:27,829
Me, sometimes.

437
00:34:29,706 --> 00:34:32,250
My imagination intersects
with these obvious facts.

438
00:34:37,255 --> 00:34:38,882
Raoul Walsh is dead.

439
00:34:39,716 --> 00:34:41,384
Raoul Walsh, master of the elements.

440
00:34:41,551 --> 00:34:44,554
The filmmaker of
lightning and telluric forces.

441
00:35:02,238 --> 00:35:03,175
Kenneth White

442
00:35:03,281 --> 00:35:04,814
didn't know
that he was talking

443
00:35:04,866 --> 00:35:07,577
about Raoul Walsh when
he evoked this Chinese tale:

444
00:35:07,744 --> 00:35:10,664
One night, when the young man
was walking in the mountains,

445
00:35:11,331 --> 00:35:12,666
he felt lightning strike him

446
00:35:12,832 --> 00:35:14,584
and he heard the thunder
in his head.

447
00:35:14,693 --> 00:35:17,420
He had the impression that
the mountain, the whole world,

448
00:35:17,504 --> 00:35:18,880
and he himself had disappeared.

449
00:35:19,464 --> 00:35:20,882
And this feeling lasted

450
00:35:21,257 --> 00:35:24,296
the time it takes for a
dancing stick to burn up.

451
00:35:25,512 --> 00:35:26,971
Following this experience,

452
00:35:27,210 --> 00:35:30,350
the young man found himself
transformed, strangely purified.

453
00:35:30,517 --> 00:35:32,352
Splashed by an inner light.

454
00:35:32,936 --> 00:35:35,855
He went to see the old
man to tell him about it.

455
00:35:36,050 --> 00:35:38,050
"It's nothing at all,
said the latter.

456
00:35:38,734 --> 00:35:42,277
"Here, it will happen to you so often
you won't think anything of it."

457
00:35:42,350 --> 00:35:44,394
In the ancient books that
speak of these things,

458
00:35:44,492 --> 00:35:46,140
we call this experience:

459
00:35:46,354 --> 00:35:47,784
"seeing the dragon".

460
00:35:49,953 --> 00:35:52,956
Raoul Walsh was both
this young man and this old man.

461
00:35:54,582 --> 00:35:56,668
It's also Walsh
of whom Kenneth White speaks

462
00:35:56,835 --> 00:35:58,378
when he talks about Mi Fu

463
00:35:59,003 --> 00:36:00,964
and Chan painters and poets,

464
00:36:01,339 --> 00:36:04,259
who had untied all ties, both
external and internal.

465
00:36:04,968 --> 00:36:07,637
Their spirits knew the wind

466
00:36:07,804 --> 00:36:08,930
and whitewater.

467
00:36:11,683 --> 00:36:14,436
"The spirit of wind and whitewater

468
00:36:14,602 --> 00:36:17,605
Here, on my own
terrace of clouds

469
00:36:18,606 --> 00:36:19,774
Dispossessed

470
00:36:20,525 --> 00:36:22,694
But entering the fire".

471
00:36:24,404 --> 00:36:26,906
Mi Fu
loved wild pheasants

472
00:36:27,282 --> 00:36:29,617
but he hated
domestic chickens.

473
00:36:29,784 --> 00:36:31,536
And Raoul Walsh.

474
00:36:32,704 --> 00:36:35,707
Raoul Walsh, lit by lightning,
with a schoolboy's face.

475
00:36:37,000 --> 00:36:39,836
Extreme compact luck.

476
00:36:41,421 --> 00:36:45,759
Raoul Walsh dead,
it's one more cut in my life.

477
00:36:45,925 --> 00:36:48,553
Like a notch in the tree.

478
00:36:57,353 --> 00:36:59,564
And his silence
is my blindness.

479
00:37:28,593 --> 00:37:31,054
Gathering my planets

480
00:37:31,429 --> 00:37:34,098
to find myself filled up by myself

481
00:37:35,975 --> 00:37:37,393
in myself.

482
00:37:43,566 --> 00:37:45,944
As if I could hear myself burst.

483
00:37:46,611 --> 00:37:49,614
Nuggets destroyed
in search of their sparkle.

484
00:37:54,619 --> 00:37:56,371
And the love song

485
00:37:56,538 --> 00:37:58,832
starts over again and again.

486
00:39:23,791 --> 00:39:28,171
Fernando Pessoa and his heteronyms
helped me find myself back.

487
00:39:28,546 --> 00:39:31,674
I kept coming back
to passages that I compiled.

488
00:39:32,500 --> 00:39:34,667
But it seemed as if
that the girls of Manila

489
00:39:34,719 --> 00:39:37,221
had taken it upon themselves
to overwhelm me.

490
00:42:48,871 --> 00:42:52,166
You see, I'm your
lucky line.

491
00:43:28,119 --> 00:43:31,247
Ah. Your spleen is a statue of
a woman to come.

492
00:43:37,003 --> 00:43:39,422
We're the only ones left.

493
00:43:39,797 --> 00:43:41,799
And tomorrow you fly away.

494
00:43:42,425 --> 00:43:43,926
I'll be alone.

495
00:43:44,302 --> 00:43:46,528
You'll have
the whole city for you.

496
00:43:47,210 --> 00:43:48,520
You'll be happy.

497
00:43:51,893 --> 00:43:54,270
You will write to me
and assure me that I am.

498
00:43:54,437 --> 00:43:57,857
I'll end my letters with
"with my love".

499
00:43:58,024 --> 00:43:59,275
It's friendship.

500
00:44:00,151 --> 00:44:04,822
You'll believe in true love
and your heart will beat fast.

501
00:44:04,989 --> 00:44:06,824
It's already beating hard.

502
00:44:06,991 --> 00:44:08,159
We'll meet again.

503
00:44:08,284 --> 00:44:09,994
In the wide world?

504
00:44:10,161 --> 00:44:12,955
And we'll decide on
all the routes.

505
00:44:13,748 --> 00:44:16,083
I'll be walking a lot
when you're gone.

506
00:44:16,876 --> 00:44:20,171
You'll be traveling the
whole world to find me?

507
00:44:21,005 --> 00:44:23,257
Chance wanted us to meet.

508
00:44:24,175 --> 00:44:25,676
I'll have to find you back.

509
00:44:27,470 --> 00:44:29,013
Tell me,

510
00:44:29,180 --> 00:44:31,015
young girl from Manila,

511
00:44:32,892 --> 00:44:35,269
why did you take my heart?

512
00:44:41,192 --> 00:44:42,140
Ivan

513
00:44:42,223 --> 00:44:45,470
would follow, pursue
spring all over the world?

514
00:44:52,328 --> 00:44:53,412
"Woman,

515
00:44:53,788 --> 00:44:57,500
with a look that meets the
softness of a trembling leaf."

516
00:45:00,044 --> 00:45:01,963
And the love song

517
00:45:02,129 --> 00:45:03,839
starts over again and again.

518
00:45:28,364 --> 00:45:31,075
You never knew
how you warmed my heart,

519
00:45:31,242 --> 00:45:32,994
little flower sellers.

520
00:45:33,327 --> 00:45:35,371
And you too, little salesmen

521
00:45:35,538 --> 00:45:38,874
from whom I bought smoke puffs.

522
00:46:43,439 --> 00:46:44,982
I recall,

523
00:46:45,149 --> 00:46:47,651
watching with the
discomfort of drowsiness,

524
00:46:48,027 --> 00:46:50,446
I recall what I did

525
00:46:50,613 --> 00:46:53,282
and what I could have done
in my life.

526
00:46:53,449 --> 00:46:56,619
I remember and an anguish
spreads through my whole being

527
00:46:56,994 --> 00:47:00,414
like a body chill, or a fear.

528
00:47:02,333 --> 00:47:04,585
But I that which wasn't,

529
00:47:04,960 --> 00:47:06,629
which I didn't,

530
00:47:07,004 --> 00:47:10,341
which, only now, I see
I should have done,

531
00:47:10,508 --> 00:47:13,010
which, only now, I can see clearly

532
00:47:13,177 --> 00:47:15,304
what it should have been.

533
00:47:16,972 --> 00:47:20,226
If, at a certain moment, I had
said yes instead of no

534
00:47:20,393 --> 00:47:22,686
and no instead of yes...

535
00:47:23,521 --> 00:47:27,483
If, in a certain conversation,

536
00:47:27,650 --> 00:47:31,112
I'd only said the sentences
that now,

537
00:47:31,278 --> 00:47:33,656
in half-sleep, I elaborate...

538
00:47:34,031 --> 00:47:36,534
If it had all happened that way,

539
00:47:36,700 --> 00:47:39,328
I'd be different today.

540
00:47:39,495 --> 00:47:43,249
And perhaps the whole universe
would be insensitively directed

541
00:47:43,416 --> 00:47:45,376
to be other, too?

542
00:48:22,204 --> 00:48:26,292
Running through you, Manila,
is an art that doesn't come cheap.

543
00:48:31,088 --> 00:48:33,549
I'm a pedestrian, nothing more.

544
00:48:42,308 --> 00:48:44,435
Between life and the living,

545
00:48:45,436 --> 00:48:48,272
which way does the river flow?

546
00:48:51,025 --> 00:48:53,569
With such attention I gaze,

547
00:48:54,612 --> 00:48:57,323
so much so, that I disperse myself,

548
00:48:58,574 --> 00:49:02,203
that my every thought is
enough to make me diverse.

549
00:49:03,496 --> 00:49:06,123
I break my soul in fragments,

550
00:49:06,290 --> 00:49:08,584
and into differentiated people.

551
00:49:10,294 --> 00:49:11,795
After all..,

552
00:49:12,171 --> 00:49:15,090
the best way to travel is to feel.

553
00:49:16,300 --> 00:49:17,760
Feel everything.

554
00:49:18,135 --> 00:49:20,179
In every way.

555
00:49:22,389 --> 00:49:23,807
Feel everything.

556
00:49:25,100 --> 00:49:26,352
Excessively.

557
00:49:28,771 --> 00:49:32,233
Because all things are in
truth excessive.

558
00:49:33,734 --> 00:49:36,445
And all reality is excess.

559
00:49:38,280 --> 00:49:39,573
Violence.

560
00:49:41,700 --> 00:49:44,495
An extremely clear hallucination.

561
00:49:50,834 --> 00:49:53,462
Life moves with others.

562
00:50:07,451 --> 00:50:09,002
The more I disciplined myself,

563
00:50:09,069 --> 00:50:12,189
not to spend the night
with women I desire,

564
00:50:12,356 --> 00:50:14,765
the more I need
a girl who stays by my side

565
00:50:14,817 --> 00:50:17,194
as no more then an animal presence.

566
00:50:18,195 --> 00:50:20,531
Last night, I had Chanda over.

567
00:50:21,282 --> 00:50:23,534
I don't know what she thinks
she knows about me,

568
00:50:23,659 --> 00:50:27,621
and yet, in the wee hours of the
morning, we talk, together.

569
00:50:27,788 --> 00:50:29,540
Start the day.

570
00:50:31,292 --> 00:50:33,377
The more I deepen my loneliness,

571
00:50:33,544 --> 00:50:36,255
the more I need the company
of people like her.

572
00:50:37,131 --> 00:50:40,426
It's only with girls that I
keep away from me

573
00:50:40,593 --> 00:50:42,344
that I can investigate.

574
00:50:43,887 --> 00:50:46,640
For Chanda
as for so many others,

575
00:50:46,807 --> 00:50:49,560
her only work is
dealing with men.

576
00:50:49,861 --> 00:50:52,386
Like so many others,
she doesn't do it for herself,

577
00:50:52,438 --> 00:50:53,856
but to support her family

578
00:50:55,149 --> 00:50:57,693
For them too,
there's no other option.

579
00:50:59,236 --> 00:51:01,447
Are they also haunted by
a dream,

580
00:51:01,614 --> 00:51:04,742
that I dare not doubt,
for fear of cheating on her confidence?

581
00:51:08,912 --> 00:51:10,497
Let's say, Manila,

582
00:51:10,664 --> 00:51:13,751
that you're what we call
an administered city.

583
00:51:19,590 --> 00:51:22,259
The civility of well-
educated Manila girls,

584
00:51:22,426 --> 00:51:25,429
would almost make you
believe they are your friends.

585
00:51:25,596 --> 00:51:27,222
It's very polite.

586
00:51:37,733 --> 00:51:40,694
I stay alone
with the whole universe.

587
00:51:41,820 --> 00:51:43,781
I listen anxiously

588
00:51:44,448 --> 00:51:46,700
all the street noises.

589
00:51:49,286 --> 00:51:52,706
Children of future ages who
will read these indignant verses,

590
00:51:52,873 --> 00:51:56,251
know that there was a time,
long ago, when love..,

591
00:51:56,418 --> 00:51:59,463
tender love,
was considered a crime.

592
00:52:00,923 --> 00:52:02,466
Consider my love,

593
00:52:02,633 --> 00:52:05,719
to what extent
you lacked foresight.

594
00:52:05,886 --> 00:52:07,513
Unfortunate art.

595
00:52:07,680 --> 00:52:10,766
You've been betrayed
by deceptive expectations.

596
00:52:19,650 --> 00:52:23,529
Irreparably from my past,
here is a corpse.

597
00:52:23,696 --> 00:52:26,407
All the other corpses
may have been an illusion.

598
00:53:07,948 --> 00:53:09,366
I'm not sleeping.

599
00:53:09,992 --> 00:53:12,828
What a great sleep in
my whole head.

600
00:53:12,995 --> 00:53:15,414
Over my eyes and into the soul.

601
00:53:15,581 --> 00:53:18,959
What great sleep everywhere
except in the ability to sleep.

602
00:53:19,918 --> 00:53:21,754
I don't sleep, I lie.

603
00:53:22,713 --> 00:53:24,840
A waking corpse endowed with sensation.

604
00:53:25,007 --> 00:53:27,301
And my feeling is
an empty thought.

605
00:53:27,710 --> 00:53:29,626
I cannot read
when I wake up at night,

606
00:53:29,678 --> 00:53:31,503
I can't write
when I wake up at night,

607
00:53:31,555 --> 00:53:33,766
I can't think
when I wake up at night.

608
00:53:34,850 --> 00:53:36,018
My god.

609
00:53:37,060 --> 00:53:39,813
I can't even dream when I
wake up at night.

610
00:53:50,532 --> 00:53:54,578
It's only now
that I see what I didn't say.

611
00:53:55,579 --> 00:53:59,041
What I have missed, in truth,
hasn't the slightest chance.

612
00:54:00,709 --> 00:54:03,378
I bury it in my heart forever,

613
00:54:03,545 --> 00:54:05,964
in the lengths of time.

614
00:54:06,632 --> 00:54:09,468
In the plurality of universes.

615
00:54:11,804 --> 00:54:14,097
On this night when I'm not sleeping

616
00:54:14,473 --> 00:54:16,517
and sorrow surrounds me,

617
00:54:16,683 --> 00:54:19,728
as a truth in which
I do not participate,

618
00:54:20,646 --> 00:54:23,065
and where the moonlight outside,

619
00:54:23,440 --> 00:54:25,901
like the hope I don't have,

620
00:54:26,068 --> 00:54:28,028
stays invisible to me.

621
00:54:31,615 --> 00:54:34,743
Several times,
I tried, in vain,

622
00:54:34,910 --> 00:54:38,121
to reconstruct this inconsequential
incident theatrically

623
00:54:38,497 --> 00:54:40,833
because it haunts my memory.

624
00:54:40,999 --> 00:54:43,377
This young girl on the ground,

625
00:54:43,544 --> 00:54:45,420
almost unconscious,

626
00:54:45,796 --> 00:54:49,716
I didn't know if I should help her,
or how.

627
00:54:51,134 --> 00:54:55,138
Why was she
in such a hurry to escape?

628
00:55:21,039 --> 00:55:22,875
In the terrible night,

629
00:55:23,667 --> 00:55:27,004
natural substance
of all nights.

630
00:55:27,170 --> 00:55:28,881
In the night of insomnia,

631
00:55:29,047 --> 00:55:32,426
natural substance
of all nights.

632
00:55:32,593 --> 00:55:34,887
And outside, the moonlight,

633
00:55:35,053 --> 00:55:37,514
like the hope I don't have.

634
00:55:37,681 --> 00:55:39,516
stays invisible to me.

635
00:55:40,434 --> 00:55:41,852
Everything's going to sleep.

636
00:55:42,978 --> 00:55:44,855
I'm the only one awake.

637
00:55:45,856 --> 00:55:46,982
Me, listening, dozing,

638
00:55:47,107 --> 00:55:49,943
waiting for something to
happen before I fall asleep.

639
00:55:50,861 --> 00:55:52,863
Come, morning.

640
00:55:53,030 --> 00:55:54,698
Arrive.

641
00:55:54,865 --> 00:55:56,158
Come at a loss,

642
00:55:56,533 --> 00:55:59,036
bring me another day
like this one,

643
00:55:59,202 --> 00:56:02,623
followed by another night
like this one.

644
00:56:02,789 --> 00:56:04,166
Sleep descends on me.

645
00:56:04,541 --> 00:56:06,752
The mental sleep that physically
descends on me.

646
00:56:06,877 --> 00:56:09,671
The universal sleep that, individually,
descends on me.

647
00:56:09,838 --> 00:56:12,132
It's the sleep of the sum of all
disillusions.

648
00:56:12,507 --> 00:56:15,844
It's the sleep of the synthesis of
all despairs.

649
00:58:42,032 --> 00:58:44,618
I had to know who she was.

650
00:59:11,812 --> 00:59:15,774
She seemed surprised to hear a
foreign voice waking her up.

651
00:59:15,941 --> 00:59:18,902
And call her by her name
to make an appointment.

652
00:59:19,069 --> 00:59:21,738
And dispose of her time as
imperiously as possible.

653
00:59:22,114 --> 00:59:25,408
And I was hardly surprised
that she accepted this appointment.

654
00:59:25,784 --> 00:59:28,870
As if she already had
no other choice.

655
00:59:41,383 --> 00:59:42,717
Sometimes,

656
00:59:42,884 --> 00:59:45,428
it was hard on Ivan
that having friends as lovers,

657
00:59:46,096 --> 00:59:49,141
makes impossible a return to
the Land of the Calm Morning.

658
01:00:14,124 --> 01:00:16,209
She showed up on time.

659
01:00:17,377 --> 01:00:21,080
I recognized the woman I'd seen
and crossed paths with the day before.

660
01:00:29,431 --> 01:00:32,267
The questions I asked didn't
seem to interest her.

661
01:00:33,435 --> 01:00:37,146
She traveled extensively between
Singapore, Los Angeles and Hong Kong.

662
01:00:37,814 --> 01:00:40,192
She showed no curiosity about me.

663
01:00:41,818 --> 01:00:43,803
She didn't say anything when I said:

664
01:00:43,987 --> 01:00:45,405
"I know you.

665
01:00:45,780 --> 01:00:48,241
I heard you last night."

666
01:00:48,950 --> 01:00:52,954
I would add that my nerves were still
irritated, skinned alive.

667
01:00:53,997 --> 01:00:56,958
Even if my eloquence might
have seemed like bullshit to her,

668
01:00:57,125 --> 01:00:58,752
I would argue I feel

669
01:00:58,919 --> 01:01:02,047
than no one else in the world
desired her more intimately.

670
01:01:02,214 --> 01:01:03,965
Nobody but me,

671
01:01:04,132 --> 01:01:07,010
could reach
the very depths of her intimacy.

672
01:01:08,053 --> 01:01:10,138
Yes, this dubious chance

673
01:01:10,305 --> 01:01:14,184
which had turned me into an
auditory voyeur, sharpened my desire.

674
01:01:14,976 --> 01:01:17,374
It erected me in all my purity.

675
01:01:17,580 --> 01:01:19,082
At Five and the Skin.

676
01:01:19,856 --> 01:01:21,858
There, at my most flayed,

677
01:01:22,025 --> 01:01:25,862
it was intolerable
that a woman can't be mine,

678
01:01:26,029 --> 01:01:27,405
be someone's.

679
01:01:28,365 --> 01:01:30,909
It was her turn to look at me.

680
01:01:31,868 --> 01:01:35,914
She could be with someone, but
not belong to someone.

681
01:01:36,081 --> 01:01:37,123
No matter.

682
01:01:38,166 --> 01:01:41,169
Every woman must be available
for the big debacle.

683
01:01:42,045 --> 01:01:43,505
As naive as it is devious,

684
01:01:43,880 --> 01:01:47,217
I confessed to her that I
sometimes use my shyness

685
01:01:47,342 --> 01:01:51,012
as a strategy, even a
double cross.

686
01:01:52,180 --> 01:01:55,225
Besides, the paleness of my voice
must have told her.

687
01:01:55,350 --> 01:01:58,478
That I was gripped by the fear of
losing this bet.

688
01:01:58,853 --> 01:02:00,438
It was vital for me.

689
01:02:00,814 --> 01:02:01,982
Devouring.

690
01:02:09,072 --> 01:02:12,909
Torn by fear
to lose this vital bet for me.

691
01:02:13,076 --> 01:02:14,119
Devouring.

692
01:03:04,627 --> 01:03:07,047
I told her to shut up.

693
01:03:08,214 --> 01:03:11,009
Listen to your inner cry.

694
01:03:11,176 --> 01:03:15,138
Listen to your inner cry,
that we're the only ones to hear it.

695
01:03:15,305 --> 01:03:19,142
Shout only within yourself.
Scream only for us.

696
01:03:20,602 --> 01:03:23,063
I'm inside you listening.

697
01:03:23,229 --> 01:03:24,439
With you.

698
01:03:28,318 --> 01:03:31,196
I told her not
to close her eyes.

699
01:03:33,907 --> 01:03:35,533
Through your eyes too.

700
01:03:37,160 --> 01:03:38,661
I want to know you.

701
01:03:41,164 --> 01:03:42,916
I want to see you come.

702
01:03:44,084 --> 01:03:45,418
In your eyes.

703
01:03:47,629 --> 01:03:50,548
I want you to see yourself

704
01:03:51,935 --> 01:03:55,053
shout in my eyes

705
01:04:14,614 --> 01:04:16,699
Always the scrum of screams.

706
01:04:17,075 --> 01:04:19,411
But where? Only one...

707
01:04:48,648 --> 01:04:51,401
No doubt
we should have left it at that.

708
01:04:52,318 --> 01:04:54,279
Marie hadn't left.

709
01:04:56,197 --> 01:04:58,808
I'm sure that she wasn't
expecting anything from me.

710
01:05:10,628 --> 01:05:13,548
I've always told you
that I didn't know how to lie.

711
01:05:13,715 --> 01:05:16,551
What I'm writing to you
may shock you.

712
01:05:16,718 --> 01:05:18,511
I don't know you that well, after all.

713
01:05:19,262 --> 01:05:22,474
Making love with you
freed me of my fear.

714
01:05:22,640 --> 01:05:26,728
Today, I discover I'm free.
And vulnerable.

715
01:05:27,520 --> 01:05:30,565
Vulnerable enough
to love someone else.

716
01:06:06,543 --> 01:06:09,427
All the violence of my passions
suddenly erupted again

717
01:06:09,479 --> 01:06:11,364
in the cocoon
I'd made for myself.

718
01:06:13,016 --> 01:06:15,168
Instead of tearing me apart and
destroying me

719
01:06:15,235 --> 01:06:16,486
like those of the past,

720
01:06:16,611 --> 01:06:19,656
this passion forced me
to take a hard look at myself.

721
01:06:19,822 --> 01:06:22,367
And perhaps also to take a
hard look at the world.

722
01:06:34,671 --> 01:06:37,215
My solitude was my only freedom.

723
01:06:42,804 --> 01:06:45,598
I can't remember who said:

724
01:06:45,765 --> 01:06:49,686
"And we talked about love
for fear of talking about something else."

725
01:06:53,481 --> 01:06:55,525
We had made love,

726
01:06:55,650 --> 01:06:58,152
and we had
nothing else to do.

727
01:07:14,210 --> 01:07:16,879
My solitude was my only freedom.

728
01:07:47,243 --> 01:07:48,703
Itinerant.

729
01:07:49,704 --> 01:07:52,790
Following a transitional route.

730
01:07:53,166 --> 01:07:56,169
I'm in transit
in transitory places.

731
01:08:46,761 --> 01:08:49,681
My solitude was my only freedom.

732
01:08:49,847 --> 01:08:52,600
Marie was about to harm it.

733
01:09:24,382 --> 01:09:28,261
Need for fiction
to face reality.

734
01:09:35,852 --> 01:09:39,522
It's as if the night desires
to order the screams.

735
01:09:49,991 --> 01:09:52,410
I was wandering again.

736
01:09:52,577 --> 01:09:53,786
My habits.

737
01:10:15,016 --> 01:10:18,644
In Manila there is too much space
for your vacant body.

738
01:10:25,860 --> 01:10:27,695
Whatever you say,

739
01:10:27,862 --> 01:10:29,489
whatever you do,

740
01:10:30,031 --> 01:10:32,742
it's for you
that Marie stayed here.

741
01:10:43,711 --> 01:10:46,339
Other men will enter inside me.

742
01:10:55,723 --> 01:10:58,643
Denball, with whom
I'd done a lot of traveling

743
01:10:58,810 --> 01:11:00,770
before arriving in Manila,

744
01:11:00,937 --> 01:11:03,439
always came at just the right moment.

745
01:13:27,750 --> 01:13:29,043
Trains scream,

746
01:13:29,210 --> 01:13:32,213
plunge in search
of the wanderer.

747
01:13:33,130 --> 01:13:37,593
Everywhere and nowhere,
I have friends and I laugh.

748
01:13:37,760 --> 01:13:39,929
The more you're alone, the merrier.

749
01:13:40,096 --> 01:13:43,557
We get drunk on words,
noise and boredom.

750
01:13:43,724 --> 01:13:46,519
We're intoxicated with song and poetry.

751
01:13:47,103 --> 01:13:48,646
I laughed.

752
01:13:50,731 --> 01:13:54,235
How many Five and the Skins had
we already drunk that day?

753
01:13:54,610 --> 01:13:55,945
Five and the Skin.

754
01:13:56,537 --> 01:13:57,947
The name of a Chinese wine

755
01:13:58,114 --> 01:14:01,075
that I had discovered
one drunken night in Hong Kong.

756
01:14:01,242 --> 01:14:03,577
Five plus the skin,

757
01:14:03,744 --> 01:14:06,122
as translated by my
Chinese friends.

758
01:14:06,288 --> 01:14:08,874
Five fragrances plus bark.

759
01:14:09,625 --> 01:14:13,087
The scent of bark
in addition to the five fragrances.

760
01:14:14,130 --> 01:14:15,798
The bark.

761
01:14:16,757 --> 01:14:18,134
The skin of things,

762
01:14:18,843 --> 01:14:21,262
that secretes the five fragrances.

763
01:14:21,971 --> 01:14:25,558
So why not
the five senses and skin?

764
01:14:25,725 --> 01:14:27,601
That's what I suggested.

765
01:14:28,644 --> 01:14:32,189
Because this wine will rip your
five senses and your skin to shreds.

766
01:14:33,024 --> 01:14:37,278
It acts as a work of art,
sobers you up more than it makes you drunk,

767
01:14:37,653 --> 01:14:39,822
brings you the essence of things

768
01:14:39,989 --> 01:14:42,658
and makes you feel the crux
of what you've been through.

769
01:14:42,825 --> 01:14:44,285
Drunkenness is a fracture.

770
01:14:45,745 --> 01:14:48,914
It take distance from 'you' and
brings closer to 'yourself'.

771
01:14:49,874 --> 01:14:50,916
As if,

772
01:14:51,042 --> 01:14:53,836
stripped of your protective bark,

773
01:14:54,295 --> 01:14:55,921
you implode.

774
01:15:17,860 --> 01:15:20,112
It's a rainy, dark autumn.

775
01:15:21,030 --> 01:15:24,617
In the night,
obscure insects buzz.

776
01:15:24,784 --> 01:15:27,703
To prevent sleep
from soothing my sorrow for a moment,

777
01:15:27,870 --> 01:15:30,247
they sing gradually closer to my bed.

778
01:15:59,735 --> 01:16:03,906
El Filibusterismo.
Rizal's hero,

779
01:16:04,073 --> 01:16:07,201
Put on the screen by
Gerardo Gerry de León,

780
01:16:07,368 --> 01:16:10,079
mythical hero of his films.
Diego Silang,

781
01:16:10,204 --> 01:16:13,833
Moises Padilla,
Padre Burgos, Sanda Wong,

782
01:16:15,292 --> 01:16:18,921
Manong Ilagan de León,
old brother of León,

783
01:16:19,088 --> 01:16:22,091
whose work, although recent,
has almost entirely disappeared.

784
01:16:22,258 --> 01:16:26,846
For example his film, Daigdig ng mga Api,
the World of the Oppressed,

785
01:16:27,721 --> 01:16:29,730
a title that symbolizes all his films.

786
01:16:34,770 --> 01:16:35,580
Phil,

787
01:16:35,647 --> 01:16:39,333
in who I dreamed to incorporate myself,
so I could stop worrying about myself.

788
01:16:39,400 --> 01:16:42,619
No longer be supported by the world,
but carry the world.

789
01:16:42,695 --> 01:16:44,405
Be an arrow and a torch.

790
01:16:44,780 --> 01:16:48,033
All the while being with others,
yet melt like an eagle.

791
01:16:48,200 --> 01:16:52,079
To be, as Whitman said,
oneself and in the crowd.

792
01:17:41,003 --> 01:17:42,046
In the Autumn of 1980,

793
01:17:42,213 --> 01:17:44,246
standard airport safety measures

794
01:17:44,298 --> 01:17:47,009
were extended to hotels
and department stores.

795
01:17:51,847 --> 01:17:56,018
Was it really fate that
brought her here

796
01:17:56,185 --> 01:17:57,937
at that time?

797
01:18:00,856 --> 01:18:03,901
My solitude is my only freedom.

798
01:18:04,068 --> 01:18:05,402
Maki understands this.

799
01:18:09,406 --> 01:18:12,326
An even greater urgency

800
01:18:12,493 --> 01:18:14,787
the presence of a body

801
01:18:14,954 --> 01:18:16,789
and it's breathing.

802
01:19:01,500 --> 01:19:04,545
When a plane passes
at the wrong time,

803
01:19:04,920 --> 01:19:08,382
Ivan confuses Keats and Shelley.

804
01:19:09,091 --> 01:19:10,301
At the wrong time,

805
01:19:10,467 --> 01:19:13,262
that is to say
when Ivan is far away from it all,

806
01:19:13,387 --> 01:19:15,222
in space and time

807
01:19:15,389 --> 01:19:18,934
and he's afraid that his own
shadow is as big as he is,

808
01:19:19,101 --> 01:19:21,103
not recorded by the tailor.

809
01:19:21,270 --> 01:19:24,231
Or that she steps on his body

810
01:19:24,398 --> 01:19:28,235
and he or she,
or both stumble together.

811
01:19:28,402 --> 01:19:31,947
It happens that
he confuses Keats and Shelley.

812
01:19:33,073 --> 01:19:35,492
Who chose as his epitaph

813
01:19:35,868 --> 01:19:40,247
"Here lies a man whose name was
written on water"?

814
01:19:40,414 --> 01:19:43,417
Who no longer had
lungs at autopsy?

815
01:19:43,584 --> 01:19:45,502
Who was cremated
on a desolate coastline,

816
01:19:45,878 --> 01:19:47,504
between mountain and sea?

817
01:19:48,881 --> 01:19:52,134
With Byron towering above,

818
01:19:52,301 --> 01:19:54,178
like a badly hung picture.

819
01:19:55,095 --> 01:19:57,639
All died in disorder.

820
01:19:58,015 --> 01:19:59,391
In 1821,

821
01:19:59,558 --> 01:20:01,602
'22, '24.

822
01:20:01,977 --> 01:20:03,270
Who at 26 years old?

823
01:20:03,437 --> 01:20:06,148
Who at 30? Who
at 36?

824
01:20:07,191 --> 01:20:11,153
But to whom did these
dates and ages belong?

825
01:20:11,945 --> 01:20:14,990
The pieces of the puzzle
were in Ivan's mind,

826
01:20:15,157 --> 01:20:16,367
charred,

827
01:20:16,533 --> 01:20:18,619
impossible to reconstruct,

828
01:20:18,994 --> 01:20:20,913
like burned bodies.

829
01:20:21,080 --> 01:20:23,248
When a supersonic fighter flies by

830
01:20:23,415 --> 01:20:25,459
at low altitude
and at the wrong time,

831
01:20:26,043 --> 01:20:28,670
Ivan thinks the English poets
were wrong to die

832
01:20:29,046 --> 01:20:31,090
so close to each other.

833
01:20:31,256 --> 01:20:33,634
In the same country, or almost.

834
01:20:44,978 --> 01:20:48,065
When pollution changes
the body of water.

835
01:20:56,698 --> 01:20:59,201
I'm too partial to the
benefits of modern life

836
01:20:59,368 --> 01:21:00,661
to be an environmentalist.

837
01:21:01,412 --> 01:21:04,998
But it makes me jump when I see the
order of nature being undermined.

838
01:21:05,666 --> 01:21:09,336
Anger drove me to
trample the torn-up earth,

839
01:21:09,503 --> 01:21:11,547
that's dumped into the sea
to smother her.

840
01:21:11,713 --> 01:21:13,799
The same impotent
rage overcame me

841
01:21:14,049 --> 01:21:16,385
when I saw a workforce
lying upright,

842
01:21:16,510 --> 01:21:19,221
waiting in vain for a work visa

843
01:21:19,388 --> 01:21:23,058
or for the United dream
States or happy Arabia.

844
01:21:53,755 --> 01:21:56,091
I had to get back to Tondo.

845
01:21:56,258 --> 01:21:57,718
Touched by a leprosy,

846
01:21:58,093 --> 01:22:00,429
this terrible reserve
of nobodies,

847
01:22:00,554 --> 01:22:02,222
whose availability
remains a threat

848
01:22:02,389 --> 01:22:04,099
for anyone who
has a job.

849
01:22:08,145 --> 01:22:11,565
It felt as if they were the unsurprised
witnesses of my embarrassment.

850
01:22:11,732 --> 01:22:13,771
And yet..,
I envied the sort of luck

851
01:22:13,826 --> 01:22:16,997
that these children had to be
confronted savagely, right away,

852
01:22:17,070 --> 01:22:19,740
second after second, to reality.

853
01:22:22,451 --> 01:22:26,205
At least they won't be sucked in,
mutilated by an education

854
01:22:26,371 --> 01:22:28,290
that lies to you
about life and people.

855
01:22:29,291 --> 01:22:30,334
I'd almost believe

856
01:22:30,417 --> 01:22:32,961
in the utopia
that they can make their own destiny.

857
01:22:35,130 --> 01:22:38,175
As you pass by, you'll see
a child smiling at you.

858
01:22:38,342 --> 01:22:41,678
Summarize for him
in a smile what he's smiling at.

859
01:24:39,671 --> 01:24:41,882
You have to go all the way
down to the white.

860
01:24:46,386 --> 01:24:48,336
I can't get a few lines
out of my head

861
01:24:48,388 --> 01:24:51,131
of a German writer who
witnessed Nazism.

862
01:24:51,225 --> 01:24:53,550
Lines that I may be confusing with
those of the critic

863
01:24:53,602 --> 01:24:55,479
which reported on his book.

864
01:24:55,646 --> 01:24:57,814
Reck-Malleczewen
was a wealthy doctor,

865
01:24:58,190 --> 01:25:00,400
of an aristocratic
aesthetic culture

866
01:25:00,567 --> 01:25:03,612
and ironic monarchical
conservatism.

867
01:25:03,737 --> 01:25:08,450
He refused to go into exile and to
become an anti-Nazi from the outside.

868
01:25:08,617 --> 01:25:11,286
This was at the very moment
that his friends were dying

869
01:25:11,453 --> 01:25:13,497
and his house was invaded.

870
01:25:14,247 --> 01:25:16,541
He died in Dachau after
keeping a secret diary.

871
01:25:16,667 --> 01:25:18,919
that he buried
in a metal box.

872
01:25:21,380 --> 01:25:25,342
"I hate you!" he wrote,
inveighing against Hitler.

873
01:25:25,967 --> 01:25:28,553
"I hate you
in sleep and in wakefulness,

874
01:25:28,720 --> 01:25:30,931
I hate you
as a corrupter of life,

875
01:25:31,306 --> 01:25:34,643
I hate you as the sworn enemy
of man's laughter."

876
01:25:35,394 --> 01:25:38,821
The sworn enemies of man's laughter,
the corrupters of life.

877
01:25:39,079 --> 01:25:41,391
They are all around,
these lacquered profiteers

878
01:25:41,441 --> 01:25:43,694
who claim to be the arbiters
of elegance.

879
01:25:43,860 --> 01:25:46,363
These servants
of this multinational system

880
01:25:46,530 --> 01:25:50,242
that rules the world,
more and more openly

881
01:25:50,409 --> 01:25:53,620
Promotors of bureaucratically
organized leisure.

882
01:25:53,787 --> 01:25:57,290
They suffocate and paralyse
any chance of happiness

883
01:25:57,457 --> 01:26:00,752
by instituting a mediocrity of
spirit, a slouching stupidity.

884
01:26:03,380 --> 01:26:05,257
An anti-Nazi from the outside.

885
01:26:06,007 --> 01:26:09,010
So terrible, it confuses me.

886
01:26:10,554 --> 01:26:11,972
From outside.

887
01:26:13,682 --> 01:26:15,642
What did I run away from?

888
01:26:16,768 --> 01:26:19,271
What am I running from?

889
01:26:19,438 --> 01:26:21,982
Me, who belongs to
a country I've left.

890
01:26:23,692 --> 01:26:25,902
I'd been all around Manila.

891
01:26:26,278 --> 01:26:29,698
I didn't know
if I'd been all around myself.

892
01:26:29,823 --> 01:26:34,369
And the tour of myself through
what Manila could have meant for me.

893
01:26:36,371 --> 01:26:38,749
My roots had grown here

894
01:26:38,915 --> 01:26:41,001
but they were silted up.

895
01:26:44,838 --> 01:26:47,549
Putting time to good use.

896
01:26:48,925 --> 01:26:51,803
Not a day without writing
in black and white.

897
01:26:53,805 --> 01:26:57,809
Since I started writing,
five minutes have passed.

898
01:26:58,810 --> 01:27:02,063
Have I or have I not put
them to good use?

899
01:27:07,736 --> 01:27:09,821
I have a bad head cold.

900
01:27:11,740 --> 01:27:13,940
And everyone knows
how a big head cold

901
01:27:13,992 --> 01:27:16,453
alters the entire system
of the universe.

902
01:27:19,915 --> 01:27:21,416
It makes you angry at life

903
01:27:21,583 --> 01:27:24,419
and make you sneeze
metaphysics.

904
01:27:27,756 --> 01:27:30,759
I wasted the whole day
blowing my nose.

905
01:27:32,969 --> 01:27:35,764
My head aches indiscriminately.

906
01:27:38,850 --> 01:27:40,727
I need the truth.

907
01:27:41,937 --> 01:27:43,605
And aspirin.

908
01:28:36,575 --> 01:28:38,618
In Manila, as elsewhere,

909
01:28:38,785 --> 01:28:41,746
I've met some of those good,
proper middle-class women

910
01:28:42,122 --> 01:28:44,833
who thought they were
proving to themselves, and to us,

911
01:28:45,125 --> 01:28:48,128
their freedom,
by spreading out their licenses.

912
01:28:49,004 --> 01:28:51,506
A foreigner,
and a French one at that,

913
01:28:51,673 --> 01:28:55,510
they couldn't wait to put me
in their panoply.

914
01:28:56,372 --> 01:28:58,280
Since I couldn't bare to share,

915
01:28:58,411 --> 01:29:00,329
with their businessmen,

916
01:29:00,432 --> 01:29:02,976
I suggested,
as the only form of love,

917
01:29:03,143 --> 01:29:04,519
sodomy.

918
01:29:05,687 --> 01:29:07,814
You'd be surprised
how many accepted,

919
01:29:07,981 --> 01:29:09,774
after the usual small talk.

920
01:29:11,192 --> 01:29:12,736
It was true love,
wasn't it?

921
01:29:13,987 --> 01:29:15,614
For me, it was revenge.

922
01:29:15,780 --> 01:29:18,116
Cold enjoyment.

923
01:29:23,538 --> 01:29:25,040
I am a madman

924
01:29:25,206 --> 01:29:28,793
to whom his own soul is foreign.

925
01:29:36,718 --> 01:29:39,846
My French sense of politeness
and my sportiness

926
01:29:40,013 --> 01:29:42,474
could be taken for granted.

927
01:29:51,942 --> 01:29:55,028
Madame Bovary exists and
I've met her.

928
01:29:56,488 --> 01:29:58,907
I didn't have the courage to
shatter her illusions.

929
01:29:59,074 --> 01:30:03,161
Maybe I was also afraid
my own mire, my quicksand.

930
01:30:08,833 --> 01:30:12,170
Marie's dependency,
seemed like a fatality

931
01:30:13,004 --> 01:30:15,173
and that was comfortable for me.

932
01:30:24,808 --> 01:30:26,810
Besides, what's the point of all this?

933
01:30:27,519 --> 01:30:29,521
She's healing.

934
01:30:30,647 --> 01:30:33,525
Soon, in fact,
she will no longer have twinges.

935
01:30:34,234 --> 01:30:36,778
Soon I'll be somewhere else.

936
01:30:37,153 --> 01:30:38,279
And far away.

937
01:30:40,031 --> 01:30:41,074
Myself.

938
01:30:43,118 --> 01:30:44,703
She's healing.

939
01:30:46,538 --> 01:30:48,039
We're healing.

940
01:31:21,322 --> 01:31:22,824
It's time to go.

941
01:31:22,991 --> 01:31:24,284
In the early morning.

942
01:31:24,951 --> 01:31:26,619
At the crowing of the rooster.

943
01:31:28,288 --> 01:31:30,665
Soon it will be the year of the rooster.

944
01:31:32,000 --> 01:31:33,168
That's a good sign.

945
01:31:33,835 --> 01:31:35,837
But what will 1981 be like?

946
01:31:39,132 --> 01:31:42,135
My friend Denkar didn't know either,

947
01:31:42,302 --> 01:31:45,055
but what he was sure of,
what he asserted,

948
01:31:45,221 --> 01:31:48,224
was that I didn't need
a new country.

949
01:31:49,350 --> 01:31:52,062
But to feel new.

950
01:31:52,771 --> 01:31:53,980
Renewed.

951
01:32:12,040 --> 01:32:15,043
But true travelers are
only those who set off

952
01:32:15,168 --> 01:32:16,294
to leave.

952
01:32:17,305 --> 01:33:17,209
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