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{\an8}[narrator] Brought to you
by Tom's Indoor Traffic Cones.
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{\an8}Let's keep hallways safe, people.
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[♪ soothing melody plays]
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Good morning, Table Town School.
Here are today's announcements.
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Secretary Prince's borrowable
stapler has staples in it again.
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[clears throat] The West Hallway
is closed 2:00 to 3:00 p.m.
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for spring waxing.
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Please keep that clear. Thank you.
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Quote of the day:
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"Those who fail to learn
from history are doomed to repeat it."
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Mm. What a classic.
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Ugh. P.S. is a sweetie,
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but his announcements
are a snooze-fest.
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[Sweepy Steve]
It wasn't always like this.
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[♪ intriguing music playing]
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Uh, nice storage closet, Sweeps.
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[♪ morning announcements
theme music playing]
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- Today's lunch?
- Spanakopita!
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Just kidding. [chuckles]
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It's eggplant parm.
What else would it be?
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- [both gasp]
- Kids got to do the announcements?
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- [electricity zaps]
- [both gasp]
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[♪ rousing music playing]
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Please. Please, please, please,
please, please, please, please!
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[Barry] Announcements for kids, by kids!
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Look, Barry, it's not that
I don't want you to do them,
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it's that doing them that way
caused school-wide chaos.
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Forget all that. That's ancient history.
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History never repeats itself.
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Thought you'd be way more cool
about this, Secretary.
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I'm cool. I'm-- I'm a cool guy.
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Fine. J-- Okay. Look, just as long as
it doesn't become some big production.
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- [♪ upbeat music playing]
- [Kiff] Breaking Announcements.
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[Barry] Yes! Your school every morning.
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♪ Hello and welcome
Today's top story ♪
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♪ The morning announcements
are no longer boring ♪
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♪ No more snoring and falling... ♪
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- [snores]
- ♪ ...asleep on your feet ♪
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{\an8}♪ We'll be bringing you news
at breakneck speed ♪
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♪ So, for up-to-date
hard-hitting news today ♪
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[both] ♪ It's time for us to say... ♪
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{\an8}♪ Good morning Table Town School! ♪
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- ♪ That's you! ♪
- ♪ Are you ready for breaking news? ♪
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♪ We're coming in hot with... ♪
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♪ Figures and facts
Info and stats ♪
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{\an8}♪ We've got the "Weather with Trevor" ♪
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♪ We've got the Sport Report ♪
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♪ The stapler thief
still has not been caught ♪
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♪ Ooh ♪
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♪ Good morning Table Town School! ♪
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We're crossing over live
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to Liz Kay for all your
playground updates.
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{\an8}[crickets chirping]
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{\an8}♪ Good morning Table Town School! ♪
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- [both] ♪ That's you! ♪
- ♪ Are you ready for breaking news? ♪
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{\an8}- [chomps]
- ♪ We're coming in hot with... ♪
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{\an8}♪ Figures and facts
Info and stats ♪
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♪ We got "Slay With Renée!"
"What's To Munch For Lunch?" ♪
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♪ A studio performance from DJ Brunch ♪
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♪ Ooh ♪
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♪ Good morning Table Town School ♪
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A TTS alumni who invites
all your parents to use
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his accounting services.
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Is this boring?
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In academic news,
the book fair will extend
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its run by two weeks,
now ending in two weeks.
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I think it's bad, Bar.
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{\an8}Oh, you want to turn on this box
with the word ratings on it?
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{\an8}- To know for sure?
- Huh.
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{\an8}Oh, yikes.
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It's lower than when Principal
Secretary was doing them.
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Okay, we need some pizazz, some spark.
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Candle, jazz it up for sports.
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And now for sports news-uh!
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The Ultimate team
will meet after School-io.
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If you could even call Ultimate a sport.
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[chuckles, inhales]
Uh, apologies, viewers.
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I don't believe our camera tech
knows that she's miked.
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[chuckles] So, we here at
Good Morning Table Town School
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believe Ultimate is a sport.
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[Renée] Uh, it's not like a real sport.
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Do I tell you how to operate
the camera, Renée?
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It's a sport. [inhales]
So stop saying it's not a sport.
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Not a sport.
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Barry, cut the feed.
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{\an8}Wait. Oh. [chuckles]
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{\an8}You like it when they argue,
huh? [chuckles]
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{\an8}Ultimate was officially recognized
as a sport over a decade ago.
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{\an8}By who? Not by me.
Sports have to be hard,
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{\an8}- a little scary, and cool.
- Tennis isn't scary.
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{\an8}I've had tennis-based nightmares.
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{\an8}Ultimate is scary. The name is intense.
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{\an8}Ultimate? Come on!
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{\an8}It's the cool part that's lacking.
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{\an8}Ultimate's not cool.
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[♪ inspirational music playing]
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Billiam, hold cam one on Candle.
Barry, zoom in on Trev.
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Camera three, cut to Reggie.
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Ready to help if needed.
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Juice causes brain rot.
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I propose drinking directly
from the coconut.
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00:05:16,316 --> 00:05:19,152
Way too hairy. I say decaf tea.
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Seltzer is a basic right.
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I do my best thinking
after a cola. [slurps]
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Velcro isn't the problem.
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[student 1] Radiators, end of discussion!
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Name tags? They're hostile.
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[student 2]
People claim they're carpooling.
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[student 3] Slippers are shoes!
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Lines. Who needs them?
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[student 4] Polka dot phone cases:
a City Hall PsyOp?
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Cafeteria trays,
what aren't they telling us?
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Macaroni art. Where does it all go?
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{\an8}- [babbles indistinctly]
- No, no, no.
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{\an8}- Nuh-uh! Uh-uh! Uh-uh! Uh-uh!
- [yelps]
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[Reggie] I don't care
about your dumb issue!
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{\an8}- [Candle] Uh-uh! [yelling]
- [Reggie] No, no, no, no!
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[slurps, spits] There's a kid
stuck in a ditch in the hallway?
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- Is he okay?
- Yep.
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But wait, didn't we have that
in our announcements
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to keep clear of that hallway
because of construction?
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Yeah, but we ran over yesterday.
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Shoot. That was important info.
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Well, now, it's a big story.
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The question is, whose fault is it?
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It's Ditch Kid's fault.
He should have seen those cones.
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[Ditch Kid] I was watching your show!
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We've got to get to the bottom of this.
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[Ditch Kid] I am at the bottom of this.
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Here's what I want to know.
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{\an8}Should we put a hat on him,
so he's easier to look at?
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Let's go to Hat Chat to figure it out.
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- That is a visor.
- It's a hat!
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00:06:44,529 --> 00:06:46,865
{\an8}Well, by your logic, this is a hat.
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{\an8}Well, why don't we talk to an expert?
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{\an8}What do we think?
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- Cowboy!
- Sailor!
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- Fedora!
- Fedora!
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[shouting indistinctly]
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P.S. was right.
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This is out of control.
I'm pulling the plug.
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[tone beeping]
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- Are we down?
- We're down.
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Power's down. We're not broadcasting.
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It's over, Barry. [exhales]
This was a failed experiment.
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[electricity zaps]
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Oh, never mind. We're back up.
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What? How?
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Emergency generator up and running.
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The Ultimate team thanks Reggie
for his noble service.
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- Ultimate team?
- [groans]
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Trevor said beanie, and I agree.
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[scoffs] Bucket hat.
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Mr. RiPeppa, uh,
don't you have a class to teach?
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Eh, what's the point?
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Everyone's glued to the Ditch Kid story.
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I'll check back in four hours
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to see if the announcements
are still running.
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[all clamoring]
160
00:08:04,234 --> 00:08:07,152
Hey, I'm gonna need you to stop
arguing and tell everyone else
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to stop arguing, too. This has turned into
162
00:08:09,447 --> 00:08:12,200
- an unreasonable distrac--
- Sure, we'll do that.
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00:08:12,617 --> 00:08:13,952
Oh, thank you, Renée.
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00:08:14,119 --> 00:08:15,704
For a price.
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I'm thinking sodas, but not colas.
166
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We're still debating cola.
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- [groans] Look, can't you just--
- Sodas! Now! Chop chop!
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[pants] Okay, what are
your sodas besides colas?
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00:08:30,885 --> 00:08:32,887
Oh, you came on a great day
for non-colas.
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00:08:33,054 --> 00:08:35,765
Our specials are some
of the best we ever had.
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Number one is a Key Lime Ricky.
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00:08:38,310 --> 00:08:40,561
A lot of people say no
to using Key limes in a Ricky
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because the classic
is just regs lime,
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but that's where I disagree.
175
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[distorted voice]
See, my family, the Key Lime,
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- that was the cornerstone of...
- [♪ menacing music playing]
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00:08:49,946 --> 00:08:52,114
...dation of the Ricky.
To spice it up.
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00:08:52,115 --> 00:08:53,782
To say, hey, how you doing?
179
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Oh, here's a little tropical
something for your taste buds.
180
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What are your sodas?
Give me the info. No opinion.
181
00:09:00,790 --> 00:09:03,460
Okay, I will have four orange fizzes.
182
00:09:05,628 --> 00:09:08,756
Thank you.
Gosh, why was that so hard?
183
00:09:08,757 --> 00:09:10,884
Can't I just get the facts?
The boring facts?
184
00:09:12,177 --> 00:09:14,095
[gasps] Wait a minute.
185
00:09:17,724 --> 00:09:21,019
[pants] Facts are better than opinions!
186
00:09:21,478 --> 00:09:24,438
Boring things are nice!
They're beautiful and clear,
187
00:09:24,439 --> 00:09:26,858
and respectful of everyone's time!
188
00:09:30,653 --> 00:09:34,324
[grunts] I was wrong about the
announcements needing to be fun!
189
00:09:34,449 --> 00:09:37,202
Clear, direct facts is what we need!
190
00:09:37,619 --> 00:09:38,995
Facts are where it's at.
191
00:09:39,120 --> 00:09:42,289
[softly chuckles] Oh,
please make them boring again.
192
00:09:42,290 --> 00:09:45,960
[inhales deeply] It's the only way
to stop the madness!
193
00:09:48,546 --> 00:09:49,714
{\an8}[knuckles cracking]
194
00:09:52,133 --> 00:09:53,967
[♪ soothing melody plays]
195
00:09:53,968 --> 00:09:56,220
It's the most boring series
of notes in music.
196
00:09:56,221 --> 00:09:57,639
[intercom beeps]
197
00:10:01,684 --> 00:10:05,105
[♪ soothing melody echoing]
198
00:10:09,150 --> 00:10:10,193
[indistinct shouting halts]
199
00:10:12,000 --> 00:10:18,074
200
00:10:20,203 --> 00:10:21,996
- Neat.
- [snores]
201
00:10:30,171 --> 00:10:34,008
Good morning, Table Town School.
Here are today's announcements.
202
00:10:34,134 --> 00:10:35,843
Due to cloudless skies,
203
00:10:35,844 --> 00:10:38,430
the playground slide
will be a little hotter today.
204
00:10:38,930 --> 00:10:40,348
{\an8}Please slide with caution.
205
00:10:40,974 --> 00:10:43,893
{\an8}A number of hats have gone missing
from Helen's Hat Box.
206
00:10:45,270 --> 00:10:46,521
Please return if found.
207
00:10:47,981 --> 00:10:50,775
[♪ cheerful music playing]
208
00:11:12,714 --> 00:11:14,424
[♪ music concludes]
209
00:11:14,591 --> 00:11:15,633
Chirp.
209
00:11:16,305 --> 00:12:16,203
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