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#The Pjs - The Preacher's Life
#DDDBBB, v1.0, 07/29/25, 23.976 FPS
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♪ Once upon a time in the projects ♪
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♪ PJ's! ♪
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♪ Projects! ♪
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♪ Low rent high rise, y'all! ♪
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♪ PJ's! ♪
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♪ Projects! ♪
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♪ Living in the PJ's! ♪
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♪ Holding down the cardboard condo
Homeboy and a homemade bungalow ♪
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♪ In the middle of the end of a dead-end one way street. ♪
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♪ Ya-Ya-Ya-Ya-Ya-Ya-Ya
Living in the PJ's! ♪
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♪ PJ's! ♪
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[ singing ]
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Aw, nothing like a nice thick milk cheese.
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Mmm, damn that's good.
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Let's make it a fudge ripple.
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Here's the fudge...
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...and here's the ripple.
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Aw, frat.
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What the ver-Oh no, is tonight your Bible study?
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Why me, God, why me?
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Instead of complaining about Bible study
every week, why don't you join us?
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You might learn something.
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Muriel, I already know the whole Bible,
both the New and Used Testament.
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Besides, I got my own Bible right here.
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Hey, it's the Ving Rhames version!
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Hey, Mrs. Stubbs!
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Oh, welcome, everybody!
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Come in!
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Boys!
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Tar Nelson.
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Mrs. Stubbs.
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Hi, Muriel.
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I made a cake.
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Oh, a sugar cake...
...with raisins.
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Raisins?
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Oh, right, right, right.
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Raisins!
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Don't eat it.
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Sister B.B., why don't you start us off
with a reading?
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Mmm, all right, Sister Muriel.
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Blessed are the meek, for they shall
inherit the earth.
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Hallelujah!
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Blessed are the poor of spirit, for
theirs... ...is the kingdom of heaven!
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Thurgood!
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Do you mind?
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Oh, sorry, Muriel, but Jack Lord is my
Shepherd, and I shall not want to turn it down.
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Brother Super, the way I see it, you can join our group and thank Jesus
in prayer, or you can interrupt us one more time and thank him in person.
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Spare me the beatitude, Mrs. Avery.
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Look, if you all want to talk to God,
why can't you go do it at his house?
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We'd be happy to get out of your hair,
but the electrical wiring at the church is shot.
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Now, if we could find some charitable soul to fix it, that same
charitable soul could watch his Hawaii Five-0 marathon in peace.
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Screw the charitable soul!
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I'll do it!
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Well, I see we are small today.
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We are small, but we are mighty!
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Yes, sir!
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Praise the Lord!
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[ singing ]
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To the one who made this glorious day.
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[Super] Ah!
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Son of a bitch!
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♪ By golly, why! ♪
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Brothers and sisters, I'd like to thank the Lord for
waking Brock up out of his coma on the Young and Restless.
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He was too very old to die.
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Praise God!
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God help me!
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Now, which wire is the live one?
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Eeny, meeny, mean Joe, greeny.
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There we go!
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Now, let there be light!
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Support us and become VIP member
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Super!
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Super!
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Are you okay?
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Why is he smiling like that?
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It looks like he sees something.
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I bet it's ham.
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I get that smile when I see ham.
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Thurgood?
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Where are you going?
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Thurgood!
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Very good, Blem-ba-dum-de-gab-al.
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Brothers and sisters, a homeless man has
wandered in to give testimony.
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Let's offer him a hospitality and a nice
hot bath.
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I'm not homeless, reverend.
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I'm the well-known sinner, Thurgood Stubbs.
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I was lost, but now I'm found, reverend.
I was blind but now I see.
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Oh, that's beautiful, brother.
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Now the offer of the bath still stands.
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No, no, no!
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I must cleanse myself on the inside first.
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For I have strayed from the path of
righteousness.
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I have broken at least a dozen of the Ten
Commandments.
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But I stand before you to ask God's
forgiveness for my trespasses.
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Oh, Thurgood!
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Oh, Muriel!
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God forgives you, my child!
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God forgives you!
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Truly we have seen God's power at work
today!
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Amen!
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Thank you, Jesus!
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Now, let's get you to the baptismal
waters, my son.
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So soon?
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Oh, your soul's not clean until it's
zestfully clean!
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Hey, hey, I didn't know there was going to
be any hazing.
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My son, do you accept Jesus Christ as your
Lord and Savior?
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Hallelujah, hallelujah!
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I'm saved!
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I'm saved!
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Amen!
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Hallelujah!
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Uh, sorry, that's one of the seven silent
but deadly sins.
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Oh, I'm so proud of my little baby
Christian!
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From this point on, I will never ever sin
again and never think a bad thought!
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Ha!
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Okay, from this point on, I will never
think a bad thought!
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Now, now, Brother Thurgood.
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A new life in Christ can be a little
overwhelming.
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Don't set the bar too high for yourself.
=================================================
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You've got to start with a baby step.
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Oh, I understand.
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Can that step be walking on water?
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Patience, Thurgood.
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Well, I finished the Bible.
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In one night?
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Well, like King James, I finished it on
the throne, too.
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Are you coming to bed now?
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I gotta pray first.
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I wonder if you should wash your hands
before you pray.
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Oh.
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Who's gonna know?
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Let me get down here and see my prayer.
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Okay.
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Who should I pray to first?
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The Father?
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No, no, no, the Son.
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No, the Holy Ghost!
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Wait a minute.
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Hey, Muriel, does God do three-way
calling?
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Thurgood, why don't you just pray for God
to give you peace?
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See if he can spare some for me,
too.
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Muriel, I can't pray for other people,
too.
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God sees right through selfishness like
that.
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It's too noisy in here.
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I'm gonna go for a walk.
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Oh, thank God.
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jugar Smokey!
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Um... Don't hit me Super. End the cycle of abuse
now before I pass it on to the next generation.
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No, no, no, stay.
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I want you to.
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Um... Really?
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Ya... Sit and rejoice with me, Smokey, for I have tasted of
the water of which when you drink it you are never thirsty again.
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Are you crazy?
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You're supposed to cut that with
something.
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We gotta get you to an Emergency Room.
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No, I'm talking about the Love of God.
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Super, look at me.
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God doesn't love me.
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And I don't blame him.
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Look at my life.
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Oh, the church tells us that God has a heart big
enough to forgive any transgri- You're not gay, are you?
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Eh, it doesn't matter.
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Smokey, listen to me.
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You are one of God's beautiful creatures.
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I-I am?
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Yes.
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And you can change your life.
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Oh, Super!
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I want to change!
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You can, if you just believe.
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Do you believe?
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I do!
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I do believe, Super!
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Then go forth and testify!
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But Raul said he'd kill me if I testified.
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Goody, where have you been?
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I saved a soul tonight, Muriel.
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I saw an animal in the distance.
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I got closer and I saw it was a man.
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I got closer still and saw t'was my brother.
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Why, Goody, that's beautiful.
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Muriel, let me ask you something.
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Do you know what it feels like
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to work for God.
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Thurgood, I'm the church secretary.
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I feel like I've been chosen, singled out.
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But this time it was God behind
the one-way mirror saying,
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that man number four, he's
the one. The rest of you can go.
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Thurgood, what are you getting at?
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Muriel, I've decided I'm gonna be...
a preacher!
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Oh, God!
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You see?
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I'm reaching folks already.
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♪ Well, the janitor has the key. ♪
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♪ Yes, the janitor has the key. ♪
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♪ Yes, the janitor has the key
to the kingdom. ♪
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Yes, Lord.
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Yes, hallelujah.
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Yes, Lord.
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Hallelujah.
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Now, I know that many of you lie awake at
night with a hunger.
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Powerful hunger.
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We all have hunger.
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And that hunger is Jesus.
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So you get up out of bed and you put on
your slippers.
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Those slippers are Jesus.
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Now you go to the refrigerator.
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The refrigerator is Jesus.
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And you open up the whole refrigerator and
you see some meat covered with mold.
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Don't eat it.
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That mold's not Jesus.
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The leftover chicken, that's Jesus.
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Hallelujah.
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Hallelujah.
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Amen.
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The Lord all around you.
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Two bottles of beer on the wall,
two bottles of beer.
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Take one down, pass it around.
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Cause it's Jesus.
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One bottle of beer on the wall,
one bottle of beer.
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Take it down, pass it around.
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Cause it's Jesus.
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Can I get an amen?
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I said, can I get an amen?
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I know somebody better give me an amen.
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I don't want to whip somebody's ass up in
here.
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Amen.
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You damn right, amen.
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Muriel, where is everybody?
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Thurgood, you gave a three-hour sermon.
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Haven't you ever heard the expression,
leave them wanting more?
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Well, I thought I did.
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Hey, now look, I show God my love for him,
and what does he do?
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He punketh me in front of my flock.
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You best watch what you saying,
Thurgood.
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You've been electrocuted once.
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You trying for a thunderbolt.
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He wouldn't dare.
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Most people wouldn't even know about him
if it wasn't for me.
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Thurgood Stubbs, you better check yourself
before you wreck yourself.
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Pride goeth before a fall.
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What do you want from me, Lord?
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I've done all I can.
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I've preached, I've prayed, I've done good
works.
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Well, I've run out of ways to do your
will.
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Please tell me what to do.
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I put my life in your hands, Lord.
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Where would you have me go?
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What would you have me do?
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Jump, fool!
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Come again, Lord?
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Jump already!
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Well, Lord, if it be your will,
so be it.
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I'll be jumping now.
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What's going on?
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That fool's gonna jump.
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Oh, Lord!
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Hallelujah!
260
00:11:52,120 --> 00:11:54,360
Did you see him fall?
261
00:11:54,620 --> 00:11:54,980
No!
262
00:11:55,200 --> 00:11:56,700
How is he still standing?
263
00:12:01,360 --> 00:12:03,720
That's the revival preacher, Brother
Stubbs!
264
00:12:03,980 --> 00:12:05,580
God saved his life!
265
00:12:05,980 --> 00:12:09,900
And this is the sheet he landed on.
266
00:12:10,080 --> 00:12:12,360
The Shroud of Urine.
267
00:12:12,440 --> 00:12:16,500
Boy, if he did stunts like that at his
revival, I'd come every week.
268
00:12:17,220 --> 00:12:17,660
Really?
269
00:12:18,120 --> 00:12:20,340
Hey, mister, you sure know how to draw a crowd.
270
00:12:29,660 --> 00:12:30,900
Thurgood, listen to me.
271
00:12:31,060 --> 00:12:34,620
You don't need to do stunts to win people
over to God.
272
00:12:35,060 --> 00:12:36,780
Muriel, God gave me a clear sign.
273
00:12:37,060 --> 00:12:39,741
The best way to lure people
into listening to his loving message
274
00:12:39,765 --> 00:12:42,660
is to tease them with the possibility
of witnessing a grisly death.
275
00:12:42,820 --> 00:12:44,580
I'm only taking the page from the Jesus
book.
276
00:12:44,960 --> 00:12:45,400
Thurgood!
277
00:12:45,401 --> 00:12:48,840
Jesus did not do any of the stupid things
you're contemplating.
278
00:12:48,900 --> 00:12:54,460
He spoke plainly and simply and told the
truth and people were drawn to his message.
279
00:12:54,720 --> 00:12:55,260
That's right.
280
00:12:55,580 --> 00:12:56,840
He had a gimmick.
281
00:12:56,940 --> 00:12:58,040
He was a showman.
282
00:12:58,140 --> 00:12:59,380
He knew how to work up a crowd.
283
00:12:59,540 --> 00:13:00,580
Just like me.
284
00:13:00,760 --> 00:13:01,760
Oh, please.
285
00:13:01,940 --> 00:13:02,940
Muriel, don't you see?
286
00:13:03,040 --> 00:13:06,300
The more exciting my preaching is,
the more people I reach.
287
00:13:06,640 --> 00:13:08,660
Ego, the more souls I save.
288
00:13:08,900 --> 00:13:11,420
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have an
appointment with near death.
289
00:13:13,300 --> 00:13:14,760
Hello, projects!
290
00:13:17,160 --> 00:13:22,540
I am the Reverend Thurgood Stubbs,
God's holy daredevil.
291
00:13:22,820 --> 00:13:30,600
That's right, I said God's holy daredevil because I
dare the devil to stop me from doing God's holy work.
292
00:13:31,800 --> 00:13:32,800
Hallelujah!
293
00:13:33,160 --> 00:13:40,060
I will now risk my health and well-being
by walking across the courtyard.
294
00:13:43,040 --> 00:13:44,040
Barefoot!
295
00:13:46,400 --> 00:13:48,900
Behold my death-defying feet!
296
00:13:53,730 --> 00:13:54,730
Hallelujah!
297
00:13:56,250 --> 00:13:59,630
Now time to put some good old-fashioned
pain back into religion.
298
00:14:05,790 --> 00:14:10,190
That was better than the Astro Tragedy
last week.
299
00:14:10,330 --> 00:14:11,530
God bless you.
300
00:14:11,531 --> 00:14:11,690
God bless you.
301
00:14:12,150 --> 00:14:15,230
If I'm gonna get more people to follow me,
I've gotta do the impossible.
302
00:14:19,170 --> 00:14:20,710
Hey, chocolate cheeks, wanna ride?
303
00:14:21,190 --> 00:14:22,190
Oh no.
304
00:14:22,290 --> 00:14:25,790
Don't tell me you're gonna jump that
motorbike over a hundred buses or somethin'?
305
00:14:26,270 --> 00:14:27,030
Are you kiddin'?
306
00:14:27,031 --> 00:14:28,031
That'll be suicide!
307
00:14:28,250 --> 00:14:31,530
I'm gonna ride the cycle within the safe
confines of the ball of Death.
308
00:14:33,170 --> 00:14:35,430
Oh, my sweet Lord!
309
00:14:36,850 --> 00:14:38,930
Okay, this has gone far enough.
310
00:14:39,190 --> 00:14:40,230
This isn't preaching.
311
00:14:40,231 --> 00:14:42,350
...is some kind of sideshow.
312
00:14:42,490 --> 00:14:44,650
Muriel, before you condemn me,
consider this.
313
00:14:45,070 --> 00:14:49,170
Didn't he who made the tiger and lamb also
make the Christ-cycling ball of death?
314
00:14:49,490 --> 00:14:50,970
Thurgood, you're not listening.
315
00:14:51,090 --> 00:14:57,030
This whole preacher thing has become more and
more about you, and less and less about Jesus Christ.
316
00:14:57,510 --> 00:15:01,550
Ah, but I myself have become more and more
like Jesus Christ.
317
00:15:01,950 --> 00:15:03,670
I mean, look at all the parallel signs.
318
00:15:04,210 --> 00:15:05,470
He's the lamb of God.
319
00:15:05,750 --> 00:15:07,130
God, I like eating lamb.
320
00:15:07,131 --> 00:15:08,510
He has those twelve apostles.
321
00:15:08,750 --> 00:15:10,090
I had those twelve jurors.
322
00:15:10,170 --> 00:15:11,646
He hung out with a hooker named Mary.
323
00:15:11,670 --> 00:15:14,930
I hung out with a hooker named,
uh... ...uh, anyway, he was a carpenter.
324
00:15:15,070 --> 00:15:16,070
I was a carpenter.
325
00:15:16,190 --> 00:15:19,170
Thurgood, are you honestly comparing
yourself to Jesus?
326
00:15:19,490 --> 00:15:20,870
Oh, don't be stupid, Muriel.
327
00:15:20,990 --> 00:15:21,810
God let Jesus die.
328
00:15:22,010 --> 00:15:23,886
He ain't gonna fall asleep at the switch
like that with me.
329
00:15:23,910 --> 00:15:26,090
I absolutely forbid you.
330
00:15:26,830 --> 00:15:28,186
Thurgood, you hear me talking to you?
331
00:15:28,210 --> 00:15:29,070
Get off of that bike!
332
00:15:29,090 --> 00:15:30,930
I need you to... (Muriel yelling)
333
00:15:31,310 --> 00:15:31,810
What's that?
334
00:15:32,210 --> 00:15:32,850
What's that, Muriel?
335
00:15:32,870 --> 00:15:33,190
Can't hear ya!
336
00:15:33,850 --> 00:15:34,850
Oh Thurgood!
337
00:15:34,870 --> 00:15:36,791
I forbid... ...Thurgood!
338
00:15:46,060 --> 00:15:51,000
Ladies and Gentlemen,
put your hands together for the disciple
339
00:15:51,001 --> 00:16:00,060
of danger, the missionary of mayhem, the
pastor of disaster, Brother Thurgood Orenthal Stubbs!
340
00:16:02,605 --> 00:16:12,605
[ crowd cheering ]
341
00:16:15,130 --> 00:16:18,130
God is love!
342
00:16:25,230 --> 00:16:28,790
Let's get ready to humble!
343
00:16:41,370 --> 00:16:43,470
That doesn't look so dangerous.
344
00:16:43,790 --> 00:16:46,070
Why do you think they call it the ball of
death?
345
00:16:57,080 --> 00:16:59,300
Now we got a ball of death happening!
346
00:16:59,324 --> 00:17:03,324
Ahh!
347
00:17:22,650 --> 00:17:25,150
Jesus, stop this crazy thing!
348
00:17:50,680 --> 00:17:52,460
Your father's gonna kill me.
349
00:17:57,040 --> 00:17:57,560
Thurgood!
350
00:17:57,820 --> 00:17:58,820
Are you alright?
351
00:17:59,200 --> 00:18:01,180
Muriel ...... the blah blah glamour.
352
00:18:01,580 --> 00:18:02,960
Lord have mercy!
353
00:18:03,280 --> 00:18:05,500
Our beautiful little house of worship
ruined!
354
00:18:06,120 --> 00:18:08,060
Where am I supposed to play bingo now?
355
00:18:08,440 --> 00:18:11,420
I ain't taking one of those filthy buses
out to no Indian reservation!
356
00:18:11,920 --> 00:18:13,560
Bebe and I had our wedding here.
357
00:18:13,800 --> 00:18:15,400
I had all my weddings here.
358
00:18:16,700 --> 00:18:18,280
I'm truly sorry about this.
359
00:18:18,400 --> 00:18:21,420
I hope there's good Christians y'all
finding in your hearts to forgive me.
360
00:18:21,820 --> 00:18:25,360
Hurry up and turn the other cheek so I can
hit you on that one too!
361
00:18:25,720 --> 00:18:26,800
I know I've wronged you.
362
00:18:27,000 --> 00:18:28,720
And I must pay penance for my sins.
363
00:18:29,280 --> 00:18:31,640
I have been struck down for my
overreaching pride.
364
00:18:31,920 --> 00:18:32,920
I'm unclean.
365
00:18:32,960 --> 00:18:33,860
I'm unholy.
366
00:18:33,920 --> 00:18:37,480
I must punish myself until God tells me to
stop!
367
00:18:39,060 --> 00:18:40,060
Damn, that hurt.
368
00:18:40,780 --> 00:18:42,700
Until God tells me to stop!
369
00:18:43,460 --> 00:18:44,400
Anytime, Lord.
370
00:18:44,460 --> 00:18:45,100
This don't tickle now.
371
00:18:45,260 --> 00:18:45,880
Come on now.
372
00:18:45,881 --> 00:18:46,881
Tell me to stop!
373
00:18:48,320 --> 00:18:50,260
Thurgood, I have had enough.
374
00:18:50,480 --> 00:18:53,060
Stop pretending you're doing this for God
because you're not.
375
00:18:53,120 --> 00:18:54,280
You're doing it for yourself.
376
00:18:54,380 --> 00:18:57,420
It's all about you getting attention for
your faith.
377
00:18:58,280 --> 00:19:00,880
That is so untrue, Muriel.
378
00:19:01,020 --> 00:19:03,180
I'm just trying to figure out what God
wants me to do.
379
00:19:03,960 --> 00:19:09,380
Thurgood, did it ever occur to you that
what God wants is for you to just shut up?
380
00:19:10,860 --> 00:19:11,860
But...
381
00:19:14,630 --> 00:19:15,630
Stupid Muriel.
382
00:19:16,050 --> 00:19:17,410
Thinks I never listen to anything.
383
00:19:17,850 --> 00:19:19,506
Well, that's the last time I listen to
her.
384
00:19:19,530 --> 00:19:20,230
I listen plenty.
385
00:19:20,510 --> 00:19:22,190
I'm listening to myself right now,
ain't I?
386
00:19:24,150 --> 00:19:25,410
Oh, hey, Reverend Sampson.
387
00:19:26,250 --> 00:19:27,250
What you doing?
388
00:19:27,390 --> 00:19:28,390
Helping the homeless.
389
00:19:28,730 --> 00:19:31,730
Something I feel I understand a little
more personally now.
390
00:19:32,830 --> 00:19:34,050
Oh, right, your church.
391
00:19:34,350 --> 00:19:37,950
Heya look, I'm sorry that God used me as a pawn
to test your faith.
392
00:19:38,050 --> 00:19:39,446
But you ain't the only one that suffered.
393
00:19:39,470 --> 00:19:41,030
I lost my deposit on the ball to death.
394
00:19:41,650 --> 00:19:42,650
Yes.
395
00:19:42,710 --> 00:19:44,850
Well, if you'll excuse me, Brother
Thurgood.
396
00:19:45,590 --> 00:19:46,606
Then what are you doing that for?
397
00:19:46,630 --> 00:19:47,090
Smokey's asleep.
398
00:19:47,450 --> 00:19:48,946
He doesn't even know you're helping him.
399
00:19:48,970 --> 00:19:50,370
Hey, Smokey, wake your ass up.
400
00:19:50,450 --> 00:19:51,506
There's some people being kind to you
here.
401
00:19:51,530 --> 00:19:53,850
Oh, that's quite all right, Brother
Thurgood.
402
00:19:54,110 --> 00:19:54,690
Oh, no problem.
403
00:19:54,730 --> 00:19:55,370
I do it all the time.
404
00:19:55,430 --> 00:19:57,286
Sometimes you just gotta haul off and hit
them real good.
405
00:19:57,310 --> 00:19:58,986
Kick them good in the short ribs right
here.
406
00:19:59,010 --> 00:19:59,470
Oh, no.
407
00:19:59,570 --> 00:20:00,570
Let him sleep.
408
00:20:01,470 --> 00:20:03,610
We don't do God's work to be thanked.
409
00:20:03,910 --> 00:20:05,550
Oh, I know, but it's the job's only perk.
410
00:20:06,090 --> 00:20:09,970
To seek praise for your good work takes
away the honor of the deed.
411
00:20:10,490 --> 00:20:11,890
I love what I do.
412
00:20:12,050 --> 00:20:13,370
And that's reward enough.
413
00:20:14,110 --> 00:20:14,470
Oh.
414
00:20:14,471 --> 00:20:15,471
Hmm.
415
00:20:16,150 --> 00:20:18,410
Reverend Sampson, let me ask you a
question.
416
00:20:18,710 --> 00:20:21,570
Suppose nobody came to church on Sunday,
what would you do?
417
00:20:21,830 --> 00:20:24,110
Well, I'd probably preach my sermon
anyway.
418
00:20:24,470 --> 00:20:25,470
But nobody'd hear it.
419
00:20:25,510 --> 00:20:27,550
Well, then I guess I'd just preach it to
the angels.
420
00:20:51,330 --> 00:20:52,610
Please be seated.
421
00:20:53,070 --> 00:20:57,350
For today's sermon, I will be reading from
the Gospel according to John.
422
00:21:06,120 --> 00:21:07,160
Brother Thurgood!
423
00:21:07,560 --> 00:21:10,840
I'm so glad you decided to join us this
fine morning.
424
00:21:11,080 --> 00:21:12,720
Do you have something you'd like to say?
425
00:21:15,760 --> 00:21:17,830
No, Reverend.
426
00:21:18,030 --> 00:21:20,670
Today I just came to listen.
427
00:21:21,050 --> 00:21:22,530
Thank you, Brother Thurgood.
428
00:21:22,950 --> 00:21:24,210
Silence is a virtue.
429
00:21:24,530 --> 00:21:27,490
Be still and know that I am God.
430
00:21:27,950 --> 00:21:28,950
Yes, sir!
431
00:21:29,070 --> 00:21:29,650
Hallelujah!
432
00:21:29,730 --> 00:21:30,730
Be still!
433
00:21:30,950 --> 00:21:34,350
You got to be still if you're going to
hear the Word of God!
434
00:21:34,550 --> 00:21:35,130
Yes, sir!
435
00:21:35,370 --> 00:21:38,510
Brother Thurgood, be still means be quiet.
436
00:21:39,430 --> 00:21:40,630
Oh, yeah, right.
437
00:21:41,030 --> 00:21:42,030
Praise God.
438
00:21:43,771 --> 00:21:47,730
Today I want to talk to you about
listening to the Word of God.
439
00:21:48,154 --> 00:21:50,654
We're born being able to hear...
440
00:21:50,678 --> 00:21:53,678
But we have to be taught to listen.
440
00:21:54,305 --> 00:22:54,604