1
00:00:03,963 --> 00:00:11,010
{\an8}♪
2
00:00:11,011 --> 00:00:14,139
Step away from the
Tarnation Casket, Baron Thistle.
3
00:00:14,140 --> 00:00:16,516
You cannot stop me,
Arbor Knight.
4
00:00:16,517 --> 00:00:18,351
Once the stream is activated,
5
00:00:18,352 --> 00:00:21,522
the negative feedback
will rip your world apart.
6
00:00:23,774 --> 00:00:25,608
We have 1.32 minutes
before the nexus shockwave...
7
00:00:25,609 --> 00:00:27,902
What the fuck is happening?
Are you following any of this?
8
00:00:27,903 --> 00:00:29,446
I-I'm so lost.
9
00:00:29,447 --> 00:00:30,780
Sh-Should we turn
the subtitles back on?
10
00:00:30,781 --> 00:00:32,323
- Shh!
- Nano-configuration,
11
00:00:32,324 --> 00:00:34,951
causing the Tarnation Casket
to self-implode.
12
00:00:34,952 --> 00:00:37,537
- But that's impossible.
- Nothing's impossible.
13
00:00:37,538 --> 00:00:39,497
We're the Robo-Trees.
14
00:00:39,498 --> 00:00:41,791
You're Arbor Knight,
our leader.
15
00:00:41,792 --> 00:00:43,960
Red Wood,
you're the hothead.
16
00:00:43,961 --> 00:00:47,297
Palme D'or, or-you're our
resident super-genius.
17
00:00:47,298 --> 00:00:50,133
Cypress, you're
our girlboss boss-lady.
18
00:00:50,134 --> 00:00:56,222
And I'm Tannenbaum, here to get
your rears in gear. Whoo. Yeah.
19
00:00:56,223 --> 00:00:58,349
Did he seriously reintroduce
each character?
20
00:00:58,350 --> 00:00:59,517
This is the ninth movie.
21
00:00:59,518 --> 00:01:01,019
Die, Tannenbaum.
You suck.
22
00:01:01,020 --> 00:01:03,188
Guys, you're talking
over the whole ending.
23
00:01:03,189 --> 00:01:05,191
[ Chuckles ]
24
00:01:06,442 --> 00:01:07,776
[ Laughs maniacally ]
25
00:01:07,777 --> 00:01:10,612
This is not over,
Robo-Trees.
26
00:01:10,613 --> 00:01:15,283
Your day of reckoning
will soon be at hand.
27
00:01:15,284 --> 00:01:16,618
Don't just stand there,
Redwood.
28
00:01:16,619 --> 00:01:18,495
He's still in range.
Shoot him.
29
00:01:18,496 --> 00:01:20,121
You're literally holding a gun.
30
00:01:20,122 --> 00:01:22,874
Robo-Trees, let's go home.
31
00:01:22,875 --> 00:01:25,418
Yeah. I need a bath.
32
00:01:25,419 --> 00:01:27,962
- [ Laughter ]
- 'Cause I'm stinky.
33
00:01:27,963 --> 00:01:30,757
♪ It's a "Maximum Velocitree" ♪
34
00:01:30,758 --> 00:01:32,842
- Ugh. Not exactly "Citizen Kane."
- [ Groans ]
35
00:01:32,843 --> 00:01:34,677
I kinda loved it.
36
00:01:34,678 --> 00:01:37,555
- Oh, God. Rick, what are you doing?
- [ Electricity crackles ]
37
00:01:37,556 --> 00:01:39,390
I dunno what to do with
these feelings, Jerry.
38
00:01:39,391 --> 00:01:41,017
This used to be
my favorite franchise.
39
00:01:41,018 --> 00:01:42,894
M-Maybe it's time
to like something else.
40
00:01:42,895 --> 00:01:45,272
No. I-I wanna talk to
the manager.
41
00:01:46,273 --> 00:01:49,859
[ Thunder crashes,
animal howls ]
42
00:01:49,860 --> 00:01:53,112
You in charge?
- Yeah. I'm James Gunn.
43
00:01:53,113 --> 00:01:56,032
- [ Grunts ]
- Hey! Bradley Cooper carved that desk.
44
00:01:56,033 --> 00:01:58,535
What was up with
that last "Maximum Velocitree"?
45
00:01:58,536 --> 00:02:00,370
- You didn't like it?
- I thought it was great.
46
00:02:00,371 --> 00:02:03,122
You're ruining my childhood.
W-Which is still ongoing.
47
00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:05,875
Stop eating up screen time with
stupid comic relief characters
48
00:02:05,876 --> 00:02:08,294
and put more cool shit
in the story.
49
00:02:08,295 --> 00:02:10,171
Guys, I'm a fan, too.
50
00:02:10,172 --> 00:02:11,381
Why do you think
Warner Brothers put me
51
00:02:11,382 --> 00:02:13,007
behind that desk
you now owe me?
52
00:02:13,008 --> 00:02:14,801
So you could pitch
Batman ideas to yourself?
53
00:02:14,802 --> 00:02:16,135
Exactly.
54
00:02:16,136 --> 00:02:17,220
And you know
what I've learned?
55
00:02:17,221 --> 00:02:19,639
Making movies isn't easy.
56
00:02:19,640 --> 00:02:21,474
The next
"Maximum Velocitree" movie
57
00:02:21,475 --> 00:02:24,352
has been rewritten 40 times.
30 by me.
58
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Now, we'll spend five years
and half-a-billion making it,
59
00:02:26,897 --> 00:02:29,899
but in the end, know what will
make fans like you like it?
60
00:02:29,900 --> 00:02:32,068
- A fucking miracle.
- No.
61
00:02:32,069 --> 00:02:34,529
What the next "Maximum
Velocitree" film needs is us.
62
00:02:34,530 --> 00:02:36,197
Ha! I'd like to see you try--
Hey.
63
00:02:36,198 --> 00:02:38,491
Time to fix
this broken franchise.
64
00:02:38,492 --> 00:02:41,579
Good luck doing anything with
that script, it's watermarked.
65
00:02:43,873 --> 00:02:45,332
- Aah!
- Aah!
66
00:02:46,959 --> 00:02:48,042
I'll get an Uber.
67
00:02:48,043 --> 00:03:18,073
{\an8}♪
68
00:03:20,326 --> 00:03:22,452
I dunno,
this script is pretty good.
69
00:03:22,453 --> 00:03:25,830
- Give that back, Dad.
- Whoa, what's that?
70
00:03:25,831 --> 00:03:28,041
The Movie-lizer.
71
00:03:28,042 --> 00:03:29,667
It makes movies
at the speed of thought.
72
00:03:29,668 --> 00:03:31,586
{\an8}I invented it during
the title sequence.
73
00:03:31,587 --> 00:03:33,631
{\an8}Let's see what
James Gunn had cookin'.
74
00:03:35,049 --> 00:03:37,092
[ Beep ]
75
00:03:39,219 --> 00:03:41,263
For the honor
of the Robo-Tree.
76
00:03:42,264 --> 00:03:44,515
Time to die.
77
00:03:44,516 --> 00:03:47,101
With the power of friendship.
78
00:03:47,102 --> 00:03:49,562
{\an8}Yikes. "Citizen Kane"
doesn't strike again.
79
00:03:49,563 --> 00:03:51,189
{\an8}Oh-ho-ho, he will.
80
00:03:51,190 --> 00:03:53,650
{\an8}The Movie-lizer uses
a prompt-driven CPU.
81
00:03:53,651 --> 00:03:54,943
{\an8}I just type
whatever tweaks I want,
82
00:03:54,944 --> 00:03:56,486
{\an8}and it auto-generates
the rest.
83
00:03:56,487 --> 00:03:58,613
{\an8}Hell, yeah.
M-Make it lose that bad guy.
84
00:03:58,614 --> 00:04:00,949
{\an8}Baron Thistle hasn't been cool
since the third movie.
85
00:04:00,950 --> 00:04:03,201
{\an8}Let's kill two birds
with one prompt.
86
00:04:03,202 --> 00:04:04,661
[ Beep ]
87
00:04:04,662 --> 00:04:06,621
Till we meet again,
Robo-Trees.
88
00:04:06,622 --> 00:04:08,957
Wait. Where did
this gun come from?
89
00:04:08,958 --> 00:04:11,042
- [ Grunts ]
- [ All gasp ]
90
00:04:11,043 --> 00:04:12,752
- Whoopsie.
- Hey. That man was unarmed.
91
00:04:12,753 --> 00:04:14,671
Yeah, man. Uncool.
92
00:04:14,672 --> 00:04:16,631
{\an8}- [ Spectators booing ]
- It was an accident.
93
00:04:16,632 --> 00:04:18,299
{\an8}[ Both laugh ]
94
00:04:18,300 --> 00:04:21,135
{\an8}- So awesome. They hate him.
- Here. Watch this.
95
00:04:21,136 --> 00:04:22,595
{\an8}[ Beep ]
96
00:04:22,596 --> 00:04:23,972
{\an8}I sentence you
to life in prison
97
00:04:23,973 --> 00:04:25,890
{\an8}for unlicensed murder.
98
00:04:25,891 --> 00:04:28,226
{\an8}- Oh, please.
- [ Crying ]
99
00:04:28,227 --> 00:04:31,104
{\an8}Uh, isn't some of the stuff
you're messing with important?
100
00:04:31,105 --> 00:04:32,689
{\an8}Oh, fuck the fuck off,
Jerry.
101
00:04:32,690 --> 00:04:35,233
{\an8}That formula-driven,
"Save the Cat" bullshit
102
00:04:35,234 --> 00:04:36,317
{\an8}is what killed the last couple
of movies.
103
00:04:36,318 --> 00:04:38,194
{\an8}That's right, Morty.
104
00:04:38,195 --> 00:04:39,779
{\an8}We're gonna make the people care
about the Robo-Trees again.
105
00:04:39,780 --> 00:04:42,699
Movie-lizer?
Make... us... care.
106
00:04:42,700 --> 00:04:45,034
[ Beep ]
107
00:04:45,035 --> 00:04:47,620
[ Both grunting ]
108
00:04:47,621 --> 00:04:49,873
[ Both screaming ]
109
00:04:55,963 --> 00:04:59,132
- W-Where are we?
- Oh, shit. Morty. Look.
110
00:04:59,133 --> 00:05:01,634
Morty: Oh, my God.
111
00:05:01,635 --> 00:05:03,971
I-It's Robo-Tree
Headquarters.
112
00:05:04,972 --> 00:05:07,765
Wait, how--
how is this happening-?
113
00:05:07,766 --> 00:05:10,601
- Intruders!
- Let's go.
114
00:05:10,602 --> 00:05:13,479
- Stop them.
- Aah! Aah!
115
00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:16,482
{\an8}Fuck. The Movie-lizer
"Last Action Hero'd" us.
116
00:05:16,483 --> 00:05:18,401
{\an8}We're characters
in the movie now, Morty.
117
00:05:18,402 --> 00:05:20,903
{\an8}- Agh. It hurts.
- A-Are you guys okay?
118
00:05:20,904 --> 00:05:22,780
{\an8}I mean, I can see
you're being shot at.
119
00:05:22,781 --> 00:05:24,449
{\an8}Dad? Holy shit,
120
00:05:24,450 --> 00:05:26,242
{\an8}I-I can hear your internal
dialogue in my head.
121
00:05:26,243 --> 00:05:28,202
{\an8}Is the machine supposed
to work like this?
122
00:05:28,203 --> 00:05:30,204
{\an8}No. The Movie-lizer
malfunctioned.
123
00:05:30,205 --> 00:05:31,914
{\an8}Now the Robo-Trees
are trying to kill us.
124
00:05:31,915 --> 00:05:35,501
{\an8}Really?
Uh, let me try something.
125
00:05:35,502 --> 00:05:38,337
{\an8}- What the hell is this?
- A 2007 Kia Spectra.
126
00:05:38,338 --> 00:05:40,423
{\an8}I thought you could use
a cool getaway car.
127
00:05:40,424 --> 00:05:42,258
{\an8}Are you kidding me?
This car sucks.
128
00:05:42,259 --> 00:05:45,636
{\an8}The joke's on you. Edmunds
Car Report gave it three stars.
129
00:05:45,637 --> 00:05:47,597
It's a family sedan!
Shoot it!
130
00:05:47,598 --> 00:05:50,224
- Better than nothing. Let's go.
- Aah!
131
00:05:50,225 --> 00:05:51,893
[ Engine revs ]
132
00:05:51,894 --> 00:05:53,269
Ow!
133
00:05:53,270 --> 00:05:55,104
H-How are we gonna get
outta here?
134
00:05:55,105 --> 00:05:57,565
The Movie-lizer might eject us
once the story is over.
135
00:05:57,566 --> 00:06:00,193
{\an8}Jerry, type that we skip to the
end, and everything works out.
136
00:06:00,194 --> 00:06:02,070
{\an8}Jerry:
I don't think I can, guys.
137
00:06:02,071 --> 00:06:05,156
{\an8}It says the script is
3,000 pages and counting.
138
00:06:05,157 --> 00:06:07,325
{\an8}Also, t-there's an
error-thing bleeping that says,
139
00:06:07,326 --> 00:06:10,203
{\an8}"antagonist not found"
and "no third act."
140
00:06:10,204 --> 00:06:12,705
{\an8}Without an ending, you'll
be stuck in the movie forever.
141
00:06:12,706 --> 00:06:14,123
{\an8}- [ Groans ]
- God damn it.
142
00:06:14,124 --> 00:06:16,042
{\an8}You cut a bunch of stuff
out willy-nilly.
143
00:06:16,043 --> 00:06:17,919
{\an8}What did you expect?
144
00:06:17,920 --> 00:06:20,713
{\an8}Look, I understand story.
Lemme just put everything back
145
00:06:20,714 --> 00:06:22,590
{\an8}that you took out and--
- Jerry, stop.
146
00:06:22,591 --> 00:06:24,300
{\an8}You'll only make things worse.
You're a terrible writer,
147
00:06:24,301 --> 00:06:26,803
{\an8}and you should never,
ever get on the keys.
148
00:06:26,804 --> 00:06:28,596
Well, excuse me for living.
149
00:06:28,597 --> 00:06:30,681
Alright, we killed the villain,
gotta undo that.
150
00:06:30,682 --> 00:06:32,934
Didn't they use lightning
to bring George Washington back
151
00:06:32,935 --> 00:06:35,353
to life in "Maximum
VelociThree: Tell No Lies"?
152
00:06:35,354 --> 00:06:37,730
Hold on.
The machine doesn't hate that...
153
00:06:37,731 --> 00:06:39,190
See.
This is going to work.
154
00:06:39,191 --> 00:06:40,900
We'll bring back
Baron Thistle
155
00:06:40,901 --> 00:06:42,193
and give this stupid thing
an ending. [ Grunts ]
156
00:06:42,194 --> 00:06:45,988
Use your blinker.
Fuck off.
157
00:06:45,989 --> 00:06:48,117
[ Thunder crashes ]
158
00:06:50,369 --> 00:06:53,037
Okay, all we need now
is a little lighting.
159
00:06:53,038 --> 00:06:55,165
[ Thunder crashes ]
160
00:06:58,710 --> 00:07:00,504
[ Groans ]
161
00:07:02,297 --> 00:07:03,714
- We're back, baby.
- It worked.
162
00:07:03,715 --> 00:07:04,966
- [ Grunts ]
- Aah!
163
00:07:04,967 --> 00:07:08,136
Look out! Zombie!
164
00:07:08,137 --> 00:07:10,012
Dude. Ugh.
We just brought him back.
165
00:07:10,013 --> 00:07:11,973
- Fucker bit you.
- Wait.
166
00:07:11,974 --> 00:07:14,600
the Movie-lizer
is detecting a new antagonist.
167
00:07:14,601 --> 00:07:15,893
I don't see any--
168
00:07:15,894 --> 00:07:18,021
[ Grunting ]
169
00:07:19,857 --> 00:07:21,732
Guys, this new character
has given you
170
00:07:21,733 --> 00:07:24,777
a 20.5% better chance
of ending the movie.
171
00:07:24,778 --> 00:07:28,197
- But I am in pain.
- So we're back on course?
172
00:07:28,198 --> 00:07:30,533
Sort of.
You still need a third act.
173
00:07:30,534 --> 00:07:32,493
In the original draft,
Baron Thistle was gonna
174
00:07:32,494 --> 00:07:34,996
kill Tannenbaum
in front of the Robo-Trees...
175
00:07:34,997 --> 00:07:35,997
Huh. That would've been
a cool ending.
176
00:07:35,998 --> 00:07:37,832
[ Grunting ]
177
00:07:37,833 --> 00:07:41,377
Maybe Son of Thistle could
finish what his father started?
178
00:07:41,378 --> 00:07:43,504
Hmm,
you do kinda look like him.
179
00:07:43,505 --> 00:07:46,215
- You want me to kill Tannenbaum?
- Whatever works.
180
00:07:46,216 --> 00:07:48,259
Okay, I'll break Tannenbaum
out of jail,
181
00:07:48,260 --> 00:07:50,636
reunite him with the Robo-Trees,
and then Morty will kill him.
182
00:07:50,637 --> 00:07:52,471
Does the machine recognize
that as an ending?
183
00:07:52,472 --> 00:07:54,099
Hold on.
184
00:07:55,934 --> 00:07:58,102
It does.
Kinda bleak, though.
185
00:07:58,103 --> 00:07:59,937
Shut up.
I'm off to a jailbreak.
186
00:07:59,938 --> 00:08:01,814
Wh-What the hell
am I supposed to do?
187
00:08:01,815 --> 00:08:03,107
You're the new bad guy.
188
00:08:03,108 --> 00:08:04,609
Hook up with
the Hench-Weeds
189
00:08:04,610 --> 00:08:06,027
and give the Robo-Trees
something to stop.
190
00:08:06,028 --> 00:08:07,486
Something to stop?
What's that mean?
191
00:08:07,487 --> 00:08:08,571
See you in the third act.
192
00:08:08,572 --> 00:08:10,699
[ Tires screech ]
193
00:08:14,828 --> 00:08:17,038
Extra creatine, please.
194
00:08:17,039 --> 00:08:19,498
Yo, James Gunn.
- Oh. Hi, Zack Snyder.
195
00:08:19,499 --> 00:08:22,210
Just saw your new cut of
"Superman," and word of advice,
196
00:08:22,211 --> 00:08:24,962
he's the Man of Steel,
not the Man of Conversation.
197
00:08:24,963 --> 00:08:27,215
- Okay.
- Do more shots of him punching.
198
00:08:27,216 --> 00:08:29,091
And here's
a secret move--
199
00:08:29,092 --> 00:08:30,843
start the punch
at regular speed,
200
00:08:30,844 --> 00:08:32,470
and then you're gonna
ramp it down.
201
00:08:32,471 --> 00:08:34,222
It's not a fucking secret.
202
00:08:34,223 --> 00:08:36,224
[ Sighs ]
I'm sorry, Zack Snyder.
203
00:08:36,225 --> 00:08:37,600
I shouldn't be
lashing out at you.
204
00:08:37,601 --> 00:08:39,435
Your biceps are the size
of my head.
205
00:08:39,436 --> 00:08:43,189
Yes, but so is my heart.
What's going on with you?
206
00:08:43,190 --> 00:08:45,900
Some fan
of the Velocitree franchise
207
00:08:45,901 --> 00:08:47,276
got onto the lot today.
208
00:08:47,277 --> 00:08:49,445
He used a portal,
and he just...
209
00:08:49,446 --> 00:08:52,490
Zack, we're not losing touch
with the audience, are we?
210
00:08:52,491 --> 00:08:55,034
I mean, I gave notes on the
Goddamn Count Chocula movie
211
00:08:55,035 --> 00:08:57,078
this morning--
- Was the portal green?
212
00:08:57,079 --> 00:08:58,746
That's Rick Sanchez.
[ Chuckles ]
213
00:08:58,747 --> 00:09:00,665
Gunner, that's the guy
that sealed Nolan
214
00:09:00,666 --> 00:09:02,208
in the giant bookcase
215
00:09:02,209 --> 00:09:04,460
to quote-unquote punish him
for "Interstellar."
216
00:09:04,461 --> 00:09:06,087
He doesn't represent
real fans.
217
00:09:06,088 --> 00:09:08,339
He's just the smartest man
in the universe.
218
00:09:08,340 --> 00:09:11,384
Don't sweat it.
He can't do what we do.
219
00:09:11,385 --> 00:09:12,927
Probably.
220
00:09:12,928 --> 00:09:14,553
Gonna go crush
some weights.
221
00:09:14,554 --> 00:09:16,013
One day you're gonna wish
you hit the gym
222
00:09:16,014 --> 00:09:17,598
like I do, James Gunn.
223
00:09:17,599 --> 00:09:24,939
{\an8}♪
224
00:09:24,940 --> 00:09:26,274
Uh, hello?
225
00:09:26,275 --> 00:09:28,901
Is this Baron Thistle's
evil base?
226
00:09:28,902 --> 00:09:30,820
Not anymore.
We're packing it in.
227
00:09:30,821 --> 00:09:32,113
Gonna try to sell
all this stuff
228
00:09:32,114 --> 00:09:34,532
on my girlfriend's
Etsy site.
229
00:09:34,533 --> 00:09:37,535
[ Panting ]
Everyone, listen up.
230
00:09:37,536 --> 00:09:40,121
I'm here to get this place
back up and running.
231
00:09:40,122 --> 00:09:43,040
I am the Son of Thistle.
232
00:09:43,041 --> 00:09:44,959
He does sorta have
the same jacket.
233
00:09:44,960 --> 00:09:46,877
And his head
is also a cactus.
234
00:09:46,878 --> 00:09:48,421
That's all the proof I need.
235
00:09:48,422 --> 00:09:50,089
Tell us what to do.
236
00:09:50,090 --> 00:09:51,799
Uh, well,
237
00:09:51,800 --> 00:09:54,051
what were y'all doing
before Baron Thistle died?
238
00:09:54,052 --> 00:09:56,512
Oh. Uh. Y'know.
Doomsday plan.
239
00:09:56,513 --> 00:09:58,014
We were gonna melt
the ice caps.
240
00:09:58,015 --> 00:09:59,682
Spent months
on the blueprints,
241
00:09:59,683 --> 00:10:01,434
not that your dad ever said,
"Thank you."
242
00:10:01,435 --> 00:10:03,436
- W-What's your name?
- Samantha.
243
00:10:03,437 --> 00:10:06,188
It sucks when your boss
never says thank you, Samantha.
244
00:10:06,189 --> 00:10:09,483
But under me,
everyone will feel appreciated.
245
00:10:09,484 --> 00:10:10,943
[ All cheer ]
246
00:10:10,944 --> 00:10:12,862
Samantha,
I am putting you in charge
247
00:10:12,863 --> 00:10:16,615
of Operation: Complete and
Total Polar Cap Destruction.
248
00:10:16,616 --> 00:10:20,870
Ohh. Thank you, sir.
I've been feeling so low lately.
249
00:10:20,871 --> 00:10:22,913
I think it's 'cause my Mom
forgot my birthday.
250
00:10:22,914 --> 00:10:25,583
Samantha, that will never
happen again.
251
00:10:25,584 --> 00:10:27,502
I'm your Mom now.
252
00:10:28,545 --> 00:10:30,254
Now, let's melt
some ice caps!
253
00:10:30,255 --> 00:10:34,050
[ Dance music playing,
all cheering ]
254
00:10:34,051 --> 00:10:37,595
See. My Son of Thistle
idea did work.
255
00:10:37,596 --> 00:10:40,431
Son of a bitch did it.
He made a movie machine.
256
00:10:40,432 --> 00:10:42,309
Says it right on the side.
257
00:10:46,021 --> 00:10:48,106
[ Cellphone vibrating,
ringing ]
258
00:10:49,483 --> 00:10:50,941
- Hello?
- James Gunn: [ High-pitched ] Hi, there.
259
00:10:50,942 --> 00:10:53,819
It's me. Your wife.
260
00:10:53,820 --> 00:10:55,988
Here's your prison food,
new guy.
261
00:10:55,989 --> 00:10:57,323
What you in for?
262
00:10:57,324 --> 00:10:58,783
The fastest crime
I could commit.
263
00:10:58,784 --> 00:11:00,117
Any of you see
an annoying little bitch
264
00:11:00,118 --> 00:11:01,578
of a Christmas tree?
265
00:11:03,747 --> 00:11:07,124
Oh, please.
Oh, please, don't beat me.
266
00:11:07,125 --> 00:11:09,126
I won't.
I'm here to rescue you.
267
00:11:09,127 --> 00:11:11,295
I'm not worth rescuing.
268
00:11:11,296 --> 00:11:12,546
- Huh?
- I suck.
269
00:11:12,547 --> 00:11:14,799
I say dumb catchphrases,
270
00:11:14,800 --> 00:11:18,594
I look like a t--
a toy designed for kids.
271
00:11:18,595 --> 00:11:20,763
I'm a fuckin' idiot.
272
00:11:20,764 --> 00:11:22,848
Wow. More self-aware
than I thought.
273
00:11:22,849 --> 00:11:24,850
But, c'mon.
Everyone sucks until they don't.
274
00:11:24,851 --> 00:11:26,352
That's the arc
of every good story.
275
00:11:26,353 --> 00:11:28,396
- It is?
- Here's the plan.
276
00:11:28,397 --> 00:11:30,356
I'll start a riot,
and we sneak out.
277
00:11:30,357 --> 00:11:31,524
I know you're not a fighter,
but--
278
00:11:31,525 --> 00:11:33,275
When do we start?
279
00:11:33,276 --> 00:11:35,736
Oh. Uh, right now.
280
00:11:35,737 --> 00:11:39,657
Good.
Take that back, asshole.
281
00:11:39,658 --> 00:11:41,325
[ Grunts ]
282
00:11:41,326 --> 00:11:43,702
I'll take it back when
I stop fucking your mother.
283
00:11:43,703 --> 00:11:46,330
[ Both grunting ]
284
00:11:46,331 --> 00:11:48,333
Save some punching
for the rest of us.
285
00:11:49,376 --> 00:11:51,585
Aah!
- Lunch is ruined.
286
00:11:51,586 --> 00:11:53,712
[ Men grunting, screaming ]
287
00:11:53,713 --> 00:12:00,719
{\an8}♪
288
00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:02,471
Whoa. Cool.
[ Grunts ]
289
00:12:02,472 --> 00:12:04,975
Get your fucking rear
in gear.
290
00:12:06,017 --> 00:12:07,351
James Gunn: [ High-pitched ]
I really miss you.
291
00:12:07,352 --> 00:12:08,894
I miss my hubby.
292
00:12:08,895 --> 00:12:10,813
Why don't you come
into the kitchen?
293
00:12:10,814 --> 00:12:13,691
Sure. But... why are you calling
from a different phone number?
294
00:12:13,692 --> 00:12:17,069
Uh. It's a burner phone
for spam calls.
295
00:12:17,070 --> 00:12:20,406
Come-- Come into the kitchen
for some lemonade.
296
00:12:20,407 --> 00:12:22,658
Oh wow.
Can't pass up lemonade.
297
00:12:22,659 --> 00:12:24,034
[ Laughs ]
298
00:12:24,035 --> 00:12:26,036
[ Normal voice ]
The Movie-lizer is mine.
299
00:12:26,037 --> 00:12:30,332
No one's more creative
than James Gunn.
300
00:12:30,333 --> 00:12:31,876
[ Laughs ]
301
00:12:31,877 --> 00:12:34,004
[ Both grunting ]
302
00:12:35,172 --> 00:12:36,964
[ Both grunt ]
303
00:12:36,965 --> 00:12:39,925
- Aah!
- God damn it. We're stuck.
304
00:12:39,926 --> 00:12:42,845
- [ Both grunt ]
- No we're not, Rick.
305
00:12:42,846 --> 00:12:44,972
- Aah!
- Grab my stump.
306
00:12:44,973 --> 00:12:47,851
Yeah-ha!
- Whoa!
307
00:12:50,270 --> 00:12:51,437
Ow.
308
00:12:51,438 --> 00:12:54,566
Holy shit.
That was awesome.
309
00:12:56,485 --> 00:12:57,735
And so was that.
310
00:12:57,736 --> 00:12:59,320
- Whoo-hoo! Yeah!
- Job well done.
311
00:12:59,321 --> 00:13:01,238
- Alright.
- Thank the squirrels you're safe.
312
00:13:01,239 --> 00:13:04,074
Thank Rick Sanchez.
He did everything.
313
00:13:04,075 --> 00:13:05,910
You did a lot, too.
314
00:13:05,911 --> 00:13:07,369
Definitely more
than I expected.
315
00:13:07,370 --> 00:13:10,873
Rick, I wanna thank you
for rescuing me.
316
00:13:10,874 --> 00:13:14,376
Ah. Here.
I want you to have this.
317
00:13:14,377 --> 00:13:15,586
It's a piece of me.
318
00:13:15,587 --> 00:13:17,546
Oh, uh. Thanks.
319
00:13:17,547 --> 00:13:19,173
Is this, like,
one of your balls?
320
00:13:19,174 --> 00:13:21,926
Robo-Trees, something messed up
is going viral
321
00:13:21,927 --> 00:13:24,094
all over Twit-Tok.
322
00:13:24,095 --> 00:13:26,972
He-Hello, Earth.
I'm the Son of Thistle,
323
00:13:26,973 --> 00:13:30,267
and I'm just like my dad,
so I'ma Doomsdayin'.
324
00:13:30,268 --> 00:13:32,603
Samantha, tell the people
what we're gonna do.
325
00:13:32,604 --> 00:13:34,438
We're gonna wipe out
the polar ice caps
326
00:13:34,439 --> 00:13:36,982
' cause they suuuuuuck.
327
00:13:36,983 --> 00:13:40,529
Huh. Does the Movie-lizer
still think we're on track?
328
00:13:41,655 --> 00:13:43,614
- Jerry?
- [ Grunting ]
329
00:13:43,615 --> 00:13:46,367
- Jerry?
- Fuckin' heavy.
330
00:13:46,368 --> 00:13:47,952
[ Clank! ]
331
00:13:47,953 --> 00:13:49,412
Shoulda listened
to Snyder.
332
00:13:54,251 --> 00:13:57,879
Right on cue. Weeds, attack.
333
00:13:59,881 --> 00:14:02,466
Robo-Trees,
let's stomp that prick.
334
00:14:02,467 --> 00:14:03,634
[ All grunt ]
335
00:14:03,635 --> 00:14:05,636
[ Grunting ]
336
00:14:05,637 --> 00:14:14,937
{\an8}♪
337
00:14:14,938 --> 00:14:17,274
Where the hell is Tannenbaum?
338
00:14:21,695 --> 00:14:23,487
- Dude, where is he?
- On the ship.
339
00:14:23,488 --> 00:14:25,239
Turns out,
Tannenbaum's an alright guy.
340
00:14:25,240 --> 00:14:27,157
He's kinda my
favorite character now.
341
00:14:27,158 --> 00:14:29,618
What? Look at me.
I-I'm a fucking cactus.
342
00:14:29,619 --> 00:14:31,495
Relax.
Trust the process.
343
00:14:31,496 --> 00:14:33,914
Oh, my God, you're
re-breaking the story again?
344
00:14:33,915 --> 00:14:36,458
I wanna go home,
and I didn't even think
345
00:14:36,459 --> 00:14:38,961
the last "Maximum
Velocitree" was all that bad.
346
00:14:38,962 --> 00:14:40,754
You said
it wasn't "Citizen Kane."
347
00:14:40,755 --> 00:14:42,464
- [ Both grunt ]
- I'm 14.
348
00:14:42,465 --> 00:14:44,258
I've never seen
"Citizen Kane."
349
00:14:44,259 --> 00:14:46,969
Now, listen to me,
you stupid old man,
350
00:14:46,970 --> 00:14:48,887
you're gonna bring
Tannenbaum here,
351
00:14:48,888 --> 00:14:50,973
and I'm gonna shoot him
in the Goddamn head
352
00:14:50,974 --> 00:14:52,975
just like we planned.
353
00:14:52,976 --> 00:14:55,352
Okay, okay,
I'll help you kill him.
354
00:14:55,353 --> 00:14:58,606
- Uhhh. You're gonna do what?
- Mom?
355
00:14:58,607 --> 00:15:00,816
You're in cahoots
with the Robo-Trees?
356
00:15:00,817 --> 00:15:04,236
- Samantha. L-Let me explain.
- Okay. Go ahead.
357
00:15:04,237 --> 00:15:06,113
Shit, she called my bluff.
Run!
358
00:15:06,114 --> 00:15:07,949
Get them!
359
00:15:11,661 --> 00:15:14,121
- Dad, help.
- Your dad's not fuckin' answering.
360
00:15:14,122 --> 00:15:17,666
James Gunn:
That's because he's in the kitchen, talking to his wife.
361
00:15:17,667 --> 00:15:18,917
- James Gunn?
- James Gunn?
362
00:15:18,918 --> 00:15:20,419
- That's right.
- James Gunn?
363
00:15:20,420 --> 00:15:23,088
- Just walk away, man. Walk away.
- But...
364
00:15:23,089 --> 00:15:25,299
I read that dinosaur book
you wrote, Jerry.
365
00:15:25,300 --> 00:15:27,217
Really good stuff.
- You did?
366
00:15:27,218 --> 00:15:30,137
Well. I got the gist. Maybe
we could do business together?
367
00:15:30,138 --> 00:15:31,680
Two-picture deal?
- Uh...
368
00:15:31,681 --> 00:15:33,766
- Dad, no.
- Don't do it. We need you.
369
00:15:33,767 --> 00:15:36,268
That's it, Jerry.
Give in to Hollywood.
370
00:15:36,269 --> 00:15:38,771
You know how to really
succeed in this town?
371
00:15:38,772 --> 00:15:41,482
By turning your back
on family.
372
00:15:41,483 --> 00:15:43,317
- I don't like that.
- [ Grunts ]
373
00:15:43,318 --> 00:15:45,444
No.
You could've had it all.
374
00:15:45,445 --> 00:15:48,197
- [ Grunts ]
- Guys, I'm back.
375
00:15:48,198 --> 00:15:51,200
Geez-Louise, what did you do?
The story's gone linear.
376
00:15:51,201 --> 00:15:53,661
We pissed off the good guys
and the bad guys.
377
00:15:53,662 --> 00:15:55,412
R-Rick likes
Tannenbaum now.
378
00:15:55,413 --> 00:15:57,498
- I just think he's interesting.
- We need a new ending.
379
00:15:57,499 --> 00:15:59,083
I literally wrote us
into a corner.
380
00:15:59,084 --> 00:16:00,668
Ya gotta write us
outta here, Jerry.
381
00:16:00,669 --> 00:16:02,795
Me? You said
I was a terrible writer
382
00:16:02,796 --> 00:16:04,838
who should never, ever,
ever, ever, ever--
383
00:16:04,839 --> 00:16:06,882
I didn't say that many "evers."
Listen, Jerry,
384
00:16:06,883 --> 00:16:09,051
any idiot can plug an idea
into a machine
385
00:16:09,052 --> 00:16:10,844
when they don't care
what it spits back out,
386
00:16:10,845 --> 00:16:12,471
but it takes
a special kind of idiot
387
00:16:12,472 --> 00:16:14,098
to get on the keys
and write us an ending.
388
00:16:14,099 --> 00:16:15,349
You're that idiot.
389
00:16:15,350 --> 00:16:16,809
But how?
390
00:16:16,810 --> 00:16:18,394
It's always been
right in front of you--
391
00:16:18,395 --> 00:16:19,603
go over
to my workbench.
392
00:16:19,604 --> 00:16:21,980
Uh. Alright. I'm there.
393
00:16:21,981 --> 00:16:24,108
Open the third drawer on
the right and reach way back.
394
00:16:24,109 --> 00:16:25,609
There should be
a small orange bottle.
395
00:16:25,610 --> 00:16:28,195
W-What is it?
Some sci-fi device?
396
00:16:28,196 --> 00:16:30,781
Better. It's magic.
397
00:16:30,782 --> 00:16:32,491
Don't take more than two,
drink lots of water,
398
00:16:32,492 --> 00:16:34,285
and remember to blink.
399
00:16:35,829 --> 00:16:40,249
I now pronounce you two
both guilty and dead.
400
00:16:40,250 --> 00:16:42,167
Aw, geez. Dad? Help.
401
00:16:42,168 --> 00:16:43,919
Jerry:
Then, as fate would have it,
402
00:16:43,920 --> 00:16:46,213
a very large air vent
opened beneath them.
403
00:16:46,214 --> 00:16:49,258
Our heroes escape execution
via the large vented air vent.
404
00:16:49,259 --> 00:16:51,468
As fate would have it, this is
a direct path to the outside.
405
00:16:51,469 --> 00:16:54,596
Slam cut to-- exterior--
New York-- day.
406
00:16:54,597 --> 00:16:56,640
- [ Both grunt ]
- New York?
407
00:16:56,641 --> 00:16:58,016
Why are we
in New York?
408
00:16:58,017 --> 00:16:59,393
Stop micro-managing me.
409
00:16:59,394 --> 00:17:00,978
Then, as fate would have it,
410
00:17:00,979 --> 00:17:02,855
a high-octane
Lamborgina pulls up.
411
00:17:02,856 --> 00:17:04,314
Whoopsie,
forgot how to drive.
412
00:17:04,315 --> 00:17:05,525
Here kid, catch.
413
00:17:06,693 --> 00:17:08,068
Whoa.
The Adderall is hittin'.
414
00:17:08,069 --> 00:17:09,611
Get in the car
415
00:17:09,612 --> 00:17:11,613
[ Tires squeal ]
416
00:17:11,614 --> 00:17:19,872
{\an8}♪
417
00:17:19,873 --> 00:17:22,040
[ Tires squeal ]
418
00:17:22,041 --> 00:17:24,042
[ Both screaming ]
419
00:17:24,043 --> 00:17:29,381
{\an8}♪
420
00:17:29,382 --> 00:17:31,592
[ Horn honks ]
421
00:17:31,593 --> 00:17:33,553
[ Both screaming ]
422
00:17:36,806 --> 00:17:38,724
Okay, Jerry,
now get us to the climax.
423
00:17:38,725 --> 00:17:41,059
Uh, Nerth Pole?
424
00:17:41,060 --> 00:17:43,645
[ Grunts ] No, t-that's where
Samantha built the super weapon.
425
00:17:43,646 --> 00:17:45,814
Dad's trying to get us
back on course.
426
00:17:45,815 --> 00:17:47,484
Hang on.
427
00:17:49,444 --> 00:17:52,154
Yes.
We've got curvature.
428
00:17:52,155 --> 00:17:54,031
[ Both grunt ]
429
00:17:54,032 --> 00:17:55,492
[ Screams ]
430
00:17:59,287 --> 00:18:00,871
Guessing that's your
doomsday weapon?
431
00:18:00,872 --> 00:18:02,206
We're nearin' the end
of the movie.
432
00:18:02,207 --> 00:18:04,041
Damn.
Samantha built it fast.
433
00:18:04,042 --> 00:18:06,251
- I guess supporting those beneath you--
- Here they come!
434
00:18:06,252 --> 00:18:08,337
[ Panting ]
435
00:18:08,338 --> 00:18:31,568
{\an8}♪
436
00:18:31,569 --> 00:18:33,153
We have 1.63 minutes
437
00:18:33,154 --> 00:18:34,613
before the melting
polar ice caps
438
00:18:34,614 --> 00:18:36,490
reach the point
of no return.
439
00:18:36,491 --> 00:18:39,284
- We got company.
- Stop that traitor.
440
00:18:39,285 --> 00:18:42,329
Shit, Morty, I-I think I
figured out the best ending yet.
441
00:18:42,330 --> 00:18:44,456
Hello, Mother.
442
00:18:44,457 --> 00:18:46,625
You deal with that.
I don't know what that's about.
443
00:18:46,626 --> 00:18:48,418
Come and get me, trees.
444
00:18:48,419 --> 00:18:52,673
Samantha, hey, beautiful job
on the w-weapon thing.
445
00:18:52,674 --> 00:18:55,425
I thought you actually liked
my evil plan.
446
00:18:55,426 --> 00:18:57,761
But let's face it,
you're no mother.
447
00:18:57,762 --> 00:19:00,264
You're just a bad guy.
448
00:19:00,265 --> 00:19:02,391
Step away from
that super weapon.
449
00:19:02,392 --> 00:19:05,770
- Let's blast him.
- For once, I agree with you.
450
00:19:06,771 --> 00:19:10,941
Sto-o-o-p. Don't shoot.
He's a good man.
451
00:19:10,942 --> 00:19:12,609
He saved me.
452
00:19:12,610 --> 00:19:14,778
- No. I'm bad.
- Huh?
453
00:19:14,779 --> 00:19:16,738
I only rescued you
so I could have you killed.
454
00:19:16,739 --> 00:19:20,242
I hate you, Tannenbaum.
You look like a toy.
455
00:19:20,243 --> 00:19:22,077
D-Die already!
- Gun!
456
00:19:22,078 --> 00:19:25,247
[ Grunts ]
457
00:19:25,248 --> 00:19:28,292
See you...
next... summer...
458
00:19:28,293 --> 00:19:33,463
Wait. No. No-o-o-o-o!
459
00:19:33,464 --> 00:19:42,431
{\an8}♪
460
00:19:42,432 --> 00:19:45,058
You saved the world
from another unarmed man.
461
00:19:45,059 --> 00:19:47,686
[ Gasps ] Oh, no.
They died?
462
00:19:47,687 --> 00:19:51,690
Sometimes saving the world
requires complex decisions.
463
00:19:51,691 --> 00:19:54,986
Decisions made
by a true leader.
464
00:19:56,571 --> 00:20:00,867
Hail, Tannen-Knight,
leader of the Robo-Trees.
465
00:20:02,452 --> 00:20:04,494
They did it.
What an ending.
466
00:20:04,495 --> 00:20:07,497
They outdone the Gunn.
467
00:20:07,498 --> 00:20:09,459
[ Electricity zapping ]
468
00:20:10,501 --> 00:20:12,753
- We're back. Oh, my God.
- We're alive. Oh. Oh.
469
00:20:12,754 --> 00:20:15,255
We were dead in the movie,
actually dead.
470
00:20:15,256 --> 00:20:18,216
Wow, Dad. L-Looks like
us dying really affected you.
471
00:20:18,217 --> 00:20:20,052
No, he just forgot
to blink.
472
00:20:20,053 --> 00:20:22,387
Still. I admit it.
Making movies is hard.
473
00:20:22,388 --> 00:20:24,890
From now on, I'm just gonna be
an impossible-to-please fan.
474
00:20:24,891 --> 00:20:27,809
You said it. Let's go troll
some comment sections.
475
00:20:27,810 --> 00:20:30,020
- [ Tires squeal ]
- Oh, God, where'd James Gunn go?
476
00:20:30,021 --> 00:20:32,898
Fuck James Gunn.
Where's the Goddamn hard drive?
477
00:20:32,899 --> 00:20:36,151
I'm telling, Mr. Brothers,
they cracked the code.
478
00:20:36,152 --> 00:20:39,363
This won't just put butts
in seats and sell popcorn.
479
00:20:39,364 --> 00:20:41,406
It will give people hope.
480
00:20:41,407 --> 00:20:45,035
It could save Hollywood.
It could change everything.
481
00:20:45,036 --> 00:20:48,747
Nice work, Mr. Gunn.
Give the man a sundae.
482
00:20:48,748 --> 00:20:50,666
Ooh, I love sundaes.
483
00:20:50,667 --> 00:20:52,000
Aah!
484
00:20:52,001 --> 00:21:00,342
{\an8}♪
485
00:21:00,343 --> 00:21:04,304
[ Weakly ]
Why was it called a sundae?
486
00:21:04,305 --> 00:21:05,555
[ Grunts ]
487
00:21:05,556 --> 00:21:08,266
{\an8}♪ It's a "Maximum Velocitree" ♪
488
00:21:08,267 --> 00:21:10,352
{\an8}♪ Robotic trees
against adversity ♪
489
00:21:10,353 --> 00:21:12,896
{\an8}♪ It's not rocket science
or geometry ♪
490
00:21:12,897 --> 00:21:15,273
{\an8}♪ So sit on back
and watch the movie ♪
491
00:21:15,274 --> 00:21:17,025
{\an8}♪ Five trees against
a cactus man ♪
492
00:21:17,026 --> 00:21:19,111
{\an8}♪ Next summer,
we'll be back again ♪
493
00:21:19,112 --> 00:21:20,946
{\an8}♪ Gotta fill
our content demand ♪
494
00:21:20,947 --> 00:21:23,573
{\an8}♪ If domestic tanks,
there's always Japan ♪
495
00:21:23,574 --> 00:21:24,783
{\an8}♪ All we need is friendship
and sunshine ♪
496
00:21:24,784 --> 00:21:26,576
{\an8}♪ Choking on a wild vine ♪
497
00:21:26,577 --> 00:21:28,078
{\an8}♪ No one stops us growing
from the ground up ♪
498
00:21:28,079 --> 00:21:29,329
{\an8}♪ Baron Thistle
and his hench-weeds ♪
499
00:21:29,330 --> 00:21:30,956
{\an8}♪ Lookin' like some bad seeds ♪
500
00:21:30,957 --> 00:21:32,916
{\an8}♪ Now Velocitrees are gonna
round up ♪
501
00:21:32,917 --> 00:21:34,626
{\an8}♪ They have a tendency
to fight tyrannic succulents ♪
502
00:21:34,627 --> 00:21:37,629
{\an8}♪ They have a tendency
for kicking plant ass ♪
503
00:21:37,630 --> 00:21:39,131
{\an8}♪ It's a "Maximum Velocitree" ♪
504
00:21:39,132 --> 00:21:40,966
Okay, Jerry.
All set.
505
00:21:40,967 --> 00:21:42,676
But for the record,
I do not condone
506
00:21:42,677 --> 00:21:44,011
using the Movie-lizer
in this way.
507
00:21:44,012 --> 00:21:45,929
Hear that, Dad?
You're good to go.
508
00:21:45,930 --> 00:21:49,307
Jerry: Can't believe I'm
actually inside "Space Jam 7."
509
00:21:49,308 --> 00:21:51,560
Oh, hey, LeBron.
Still doing this, huh?
510
00:21:51,561 --> 00:21:52,979
Let's get outta here.
511
00:21:54,897 --> 00:21:56,398
Hey, guys,
you know how
512
00:21:56,399 --> 00:21:58,316
I've been writing raptor porn
on the side?
513
00:21:58,317 --> 00:22:00,653
I'm ready to share it
with the world.
514
00:22:01,738 --> 00:22:03,905
Oh, well, guess I'll just
leave it on this machine
515
00:22:03,906 --> 00:22:05,449
till they come back.
516
00:22:05,450 --> 00:22:07,200
[ Movie-lizer whirs,
electricity zaps ]
517
00:22:07,201 --> 00:22:10,037
Guys? You still there?
Oh, no.
518
00:22:10,038 --> 00:22:11,872
Dear God. What is that?
519
00:22:11,873 --> 00:22:14,624
- [ Raptor roaring ]
- Aah! Stop! Let go of me!
520
00:22:14,625 --> 00:22:16,835
What are you doing? Stop!
521
00:22:16,836 --> 00:22:18,670
Don't just stand there,
Speedy Gonzales.
522
00:22:18,671 --> 00:22:20,048
Do something!
523
00:22:21,549 --> 00:22:23,092
Did you get any of that?