1 00:00:05,548 --> 00:00:07,758 [ Cellphone vibrates ] 2 00:00:12,012 --> 00:00:14,056 [ Sighs ] 3 00:00:16,726 --> 00:00:18,893 ♪ Makin' your way in the world today ♪ 4 00:00:18,894 --> 00:00:22,021 ♪ Takes everything you got ♪ 5 00:00:22,022 --> 00:00:24,816 ♪ Takin' a break from all your worries ♪ 6 00:00:24,817 --> 00:00:28,027 ♪ Sure would help a lot ♪ 7 00:00:28,028 --> 00:00:31,949 ♪ Wouldn't you like to get away? ♪ 8 00:00:34,160 --> 00:00:36,035 - ♪ Sometimes you wanna go ♪ - Clear! 9 00:00:36,036 --> 00:00:40,124 ♪ Where everybody knows your name ♪ 10 00:00:41,751 --> 00:00:45,045 ♪ And they're always glad you came ♪ 11 00:00:46,130 --> 00:00:48,715 ♪ You wanna be where you can see ♪ 12 00:00:48,716 --> 00:00:51,217 ♪ Our troubles are all the same ♪ 13 00:00:51,218 --> 00:00:55,681 ♪ You wanna be where everybody knows your name ♪ 14 00:00:57,683 --> 00:00:59,392 Who's ready for Earth World?! 15 00:00:59,393 --> 00:01:01,686 Moms, I-I can't find my cross-body bag! 16 00:01:01,687 --> 00:01:02,979 Where's my cross-body bag? 17 00:01:02,980 --> 00:01:04,564 Summer: Stop saying cross-body bag. 18 00:01:04,565 --> 00:01:05,815 On you, it's a fanny pack up higher. 19 00:01:05,816 --> 00:01:07,066 Rick: Space Beth, you're driving. 20 00:01:07,067 --> 00:01:08,777 I'm low on wanting to drive. 21 00:01:08,778 --> 00:01:10,570 Jerry: W-Would one of you mind making me a quick sandwich? 22 00:01:10,571 --> 00:01:12,322 You know theme park food gives me interesting stools. 23 00:01:12,323 --> 00:01:13,573 Read the room. 24 00:01:13,574 --> 00:01:15,158 We're not going. Look at us. 25 00:01:15,159 --> 00:01:16,409 No, you got to come. 26 00:01:16,410 --> 00:01:17,911 It's an absolute train wreck-- 27 00:01:17,912 --> 00:01:19,579 this dude, he's never been to Earth, 28 00:01:19,580 --> 00:01:21,080 But he loves it. 29 00:01:21,081 --> 00:01:22,415 And he sucks at making theme parks. 30 00:01:22,416 --> 00:01:24,834 Both: We said fucking no! 31 00:01:24,835 --> 00:01:26,085 Alright. Fine. 32 00:01:26,086 --> 00:01:29,214 But nobody wants to see a Beths adventure. 33 00:01:29,215 --> 00:01:30,715 [ Sighs ] 34 00:01:30,716 --> 00:01:33,301 I thought cloning was supposed to make us happy. 35 00:01:33,302 --> 00:01:34,636 I hate my life. 36 00:01:34,637 --> 00:01:37,096 And I know you have to hate yours. 37 00:01:37,097 --> 00:01:38,640 - Hey! - Sorry. 38 00:01:38,641 --> 00:01:40,475 I started drinking in the car. 39 00:01:40,476 --> 00:02:10,714 {\an8}♪ 40 00:02:15,386 --> 00:02:17,637 {\an8}Why are we miserable? It's not Jerry. 41 00:02:17,638 --> 00:02:19,222 {\an8}Yeah, it could be worse. 42 00:02:19,223 --> 00:02:21,599 {\an8}I mean we could have married Pep Rosenfeld. 43 00:02:21,600 --> 00:02:23,685 {\an8}Oh, my God. I forgot about him. 44 00:02:23,686 --> 00:02:25,311 {\an8}Oh, he died in that thing, right? 45 00:02:25,312 --> 00:02:27,272 {\an8}9-11, yeah. 46 00:02:27,273 --> 00:02:29,649 {\an8}We can't just put it all on Dad, right? 47 00:02:29,650 --> 00:02:30,692 {\an8}Oh, we're done with that guy. 48 00:02:30,693 --> 00:02:32,819 {\an8}"I had a bad dad." 49 00:02:32,820 --> 00:02:34,445 {\an8}Shut up. Write a book about it. 50 00:02:34,446 --> 00:02:37,115 {\an8}I'm just so tired of all the shit we have to do to live. 51 00:02:37,116 --> 00:02:38,992 {\an8}You abandoned all your shit. 52 00:02:38,993 --> 00:02:41,327 {\an8}There is so much more shit in space! 53 00:02:41,328 --> 00:02:43,538 {\an8}When was the last time we were happy? 54 00:02:43,539 --> 00:02:45,123 {\an8}Truly happy? 55 00:02:45,124 --> 00:02:46,916 {\an8}Felt pretty good when we were kids. 56 00:02:46,917 --> 00:02:49,210 {\an8}Oh, my God, I wish I could be young again. 57 00:02:49,211 --> 00:02:52,130 {\an8}That kind of wish never goes the way you want. 58 00:02:52,131 --> 00:02:54,258 {\an8}That being said... 59 00:02:55,467 --> 00:02:58,136 {\an8}Uh, why do you have a de-aging machine? 60 00:02:58,137 --> 00:03:00,680 {\an8}When I'm bringing in bounties, I change 'em into kids. 61 00:03:00,681 --> 00:03:02,849 {\an8}This car fits 10 kids if you pack 'em right. 62 00:03:02,850 --> 00:03:04,267 {\an8}Sounds efficient. 63 00:03:04,268 --> 00:03:06,853 {\an8}Is that... worth dealing with 10 kids? 64 00:03:06,854 --> 00:03:08,688 {\an8}Oh no, I drug them, too. 65 00:03:08,689 --> 00:03:11,357 {\an8}- Wait, will my clothes be super huge or-- - Oh, no, no, no. 66 00:03:11,358 --> 00:03:15,321 {\an8}Technology this advanced is indistinguishable from magic. 67 00:03:17,031 --> 00:03:19,283 {\an8}[ Machine whirring ] 68 00:03:22,953 --> 00:03:25,204 {\an8}- Whoa! - Whoa! 69 00:03:25,205 --> 00:03:27,832 {\an8}My face... my skin! 70 00:03:27,833 --> 00:03:30,418 {\an8}I can see everything! 71 00:03:30,419 --> 00:03:32,712 {\an8}And my mouth tastes so clean! 72 00:03:32,713 --> 00:03:34,422 {\an8}Whoa, my knuckles work! 73 00:03:34,423 --> 00:03:36,382 {\an8}No pain! 74 00:03:36,383 --> 00:03:37,842 {\an8}You look like shit. 75 00:03:37,843 --> 00:03:39,761 {\an8}Wait, no! Come back here!! 76 00:03:39,762 --> 00:03:41,930 {\an8}Get ready. Earth World is a mess. 77 00:03:41,931 --> 00:03:43,431 {\an8}No creative consistency. 78 00:03:43,432 --> 00:03:44,933 {\an8}Last time I was here, they had a whole ride 79 00:03:44,934 --> 00:03:46,476 {\an8}dedicated to Pol Pot. 80 00:03:46,477 --> 00:03:48,811 {\an8}There's a non-zero chance you'll lose an eye. 81 00:03:48,812 --> 00:03:51,731 {\an8}Oh, that wasn't the vibe I got from the waivers. 82 00:03:51,732 --> 00:03:53,608 {\an8}- Waivers? - Yeah, from the website. 83 00:03:53,609 --> 00:03:55,234 {\an8}Website?! 84 00:03:55,235 --> 00:03:58,780 {\an8}Welcome to Earth World! It's me, Dr. Dogballs! 85 00:03:58,781 --> 00:04:00,406 {\an8}What the hell?! 86 00:04:00,407 --> 00:04:02,033 {\an8}I love Earth so much I made a theme park-- 87 00:04:02,034 --> 00:04:03,451 {\an8}just like they would on Earth! 88 00:04:03,452 --> 00:04:04,953 {\an8}Oh. [ Laughs ] Yeah. 89 00:04:04,954 --> 00:04:07,288 {\an8}Wow, I-I guess this does seem like it sucks. 90 00:04:07,289 --> 00:04:09,791 {\an8}Good one, Grandpa. You still like stuff ironically? 91 00:04:09,792 --> 00:04:13,211 {\an8}No, it used to bad bad, which was good. 92 00:04:13,212 --> 00:04:16,089 {\an8}There used to be a ride called "It's a Small Black Death"! 93 00:04:16,090 --> 00:04:18,341 Looks like they've got just a regular GAP. 94 00:04:18,342 --> 00:04:20,510 Rick, w-were you just drunk when you were here? 95 00:04:20,511 --> 00:04:21,594 I'm drunk now! 96 00:04:21,595 --> 00:04:22,929 Where's all the rusty nails? 97 00:04:22,930 --> 00:04:24,764 Where's the Herpes Family Flume? 98 00:04:24,765 --> 00:04:27,266 - Light-up corn dog? - Get the fuck away from me! 99 00:04:27,267 --> 00:04:30,770 Can't wait to get a photo taken with... Marie Curie? 100 00:04:30,771 --> 00:04:32,522 I-I think that's John Legend? 101 00:04:32,523 --> 00:04:34,065 Maybe they picked John Legend 102 00:04:34,066 --> 00:04:35,692 'cause his name implies he's really important. 103 00:04:35,693 --> 00:04:38,152 Rick, how were you thinking we should enjoy this? 104 00:04:38,153 --> 00:04:41,030 Wow, they have a hall of Presidential Pets? 105 00:04:41,031 --> 00:04:43,616 - Like that? - Do you think I can meet Socks? 106 00:04:43,617 --> 00:04:44,867 I'm not gonna shit on it too hard 107 00:04:44,868 --> 00:04:46,285 'cause I know you'd punish me, 108 00:04:46,286 --> 00:04:48,997 but isn't this just a mid-'90s outdoor mall? 109 00:04:48,998 --> 00:04:51,165 - Oh! My bad! - Oh, my God! 110 00:04:51,166 --> 00:04:53,126 You're a real Earth person, aren't you? 111 00:04:53,127 --> 00:04:54,961 - From Earth?! - Uh, yeah. 112 00:04:54,962 --> 00:04:56,963 I'm, like, starstruck. 113 00:04:56,964 --> 00:04:58,798 A real human. 114 00:04:58,799 --> 00:05:01,300 Ooh, you smell nasty. [ Laughs ] 115 00:05:01,301 --> 00:05:04,512 - Oh. I mean, is that-- is that good? - Absolutely. 116 00:05:04,513 --> 00:05:06,806 Well, it's nice to see something in this park 117 00:05:06,807 --> 00:05:08,391 still grimy and real. 118 00:05:08,392 --> 00:05:10,893 Then I-I'm as nasty as they come. 119 00:05:10,894 --> 00:05:13,312 Can you believe my grandpa loves this place? 120 00:05:13,313 --> 00:05:14,480 [ Laughs ] Lame. 121 00:05:14,481 --> 00:05:16,107 Beth! Where'd you go? 122 00:05:16,108 --> 00:05:17,066 Beth? 123 00:05:17,067 --> 00:05:18,484 Beth, I want you to have fun, 124 00:05:18,485 --> 00:05:20,653 but I need to know where you're having it. 125 00:05:20,654 --> 00:05:22,655 - I found a possum! - Oh, my God! 126 00:05:22,656 --> 00:05:24,407 Aaaah! No! 127 00:05:24,408 --> 00:05:26,284 I don't wanna be old! Aaaah! 128 00:05:26,285 --> 00:05:29,078 You're in so much pain, and you don't even know it! 129 00:05:29,079 --> 00:05:30,997 [ Machine whirs ] 130 00:05:30,998 --> 00:05:32,498 - Oh, my God. - I'm sorry. 131 00:05:32,499 --> 00:05:35,501 I-I forgot just how insane we were as a kid. 132 00:05:35,502 --> 00:05:36,586 I shouldn't have pitched this. 133 00:05:36,587 --> 00:05:38,463 You have got to try it. 134 00:05:38,464 --> 00:05:40,089 I'm over here! 135 00:05:40,090 --> 00:05:42,050 Okay, sweetie, this is your two-minute warning. 136 00:05:42,051 --> 00:05:43,509 It's almost time to switch back. 137 00:05:43,510 --> 00:05:46,137 [ Giggles ] You got to find me first! 138 00:05:46,138 --> 00:05:48,222 Too slow! Try again! 139 00:05:48,223 --> 00:05:50,349 Alright, let's go. That's enough. I'm serious. 140 00:05:50,350 --> 00:05:51,684 [ Giggles ] 141 00:05:51,685 --> 00:05:53,353 Alright, Beth. 142 00:05:54,396 --> 00:05:56,022 Aaah! 143 00:05:56,023 --> 00:05:58,609 Surprise! You done been got! 144 00:05:59,860 --> 00:06:01,320 Do it. 145 00:06:02,154 --> 00:06:04,406 [ Machine whirs ] 146 00:06:08,327 --> 00:06:10,370 [ Both giggle ] 147 00:06:11,663 --> 00:06:13,916 [ Both shrieking ] 148 00:06:16,126 --> 00:06:18,252 Ugh! That bathroom was a ride, too! 149 00:06:18,253 --> 00:06:20,213 I had my pants down and everything! 150 00:06:20,214 --> 00:06:23,132 - I really do need to go. - Just go in a bush. 151 00:06:23,133 --> 00:06:25,384 I swear it used to be funnier than this. 152 00:06:25,385 --> 00:06:27,845 Don't turn around. I-I-I'm squatting. 153 00:06:27,846 --> 00:06:30,431 Hey, you can't go... there. Like that. 154 00:06:30,432 --> 00:06:32,600 You used to be able to piss wherever you wanted to. 155 00:06:32,601 --> 00:06:34,018 Like on Earth. 156 00:06:34,019 --> 00:06:35,895 Grandpa Rick, take the L. 157 00:06:35,896 --> 00:06:37,271 Let's get Morty and go home. 158 00:06:37,272 --> 00:06:38,981 Yeah, this place is fucked. 159 00:06:38,982 --> 00:06:41,109 Corporate takeover. Board-approved changes. 160 00:06:41,110 --> 00:06:43,319 Steve Jobs dies, and we get 10 years of the same iPhone. 161 00:06:43,320 --> 00:06:45,863 Oh, no, the guy who made the park is still alive. 162 00:06:45,864 --> 00:06:47,073 - He is? - Yeah. 163 00:06:47,074 --> 00:06:49,033 Rumor is, he still lives here. 164 00:06:49,034 --> 00:06:51,120 Down in the tunnels. 165 00:06:54,206 --> 00:06:56,082 Hey, Sum-Sum, You like breaking rules. 166 00:06:56,083 --> 00:06:58,168 Ooh, did you bring molly? 167 00:06:59,044 --> 00:07:00,294 Hurry it up, Jerry! 168 00:07:00,295 --> 00:07:02,505 It's your fault I have to go like this. 169 00:07:02,506 --> 00:07:03,756 You destroyed my urethra 170 00:07:03,757 --> 00:07:05,676 when you turned me into a trash can. 171 00:07:06,802 --> 00:07:08,262 Follow me. 172 00:07:09,304 --> 00:07:11,097 And of course I brought molly. 173 00:07:11,098 --> 00:07:13,099 TV Announcer: Uh, if you're just joining us tonight, 174 00:07:13,100 --> 00:07:15,434 we have a-- oh, my God. It exploded. 175 00:07:15,435 --> 00:07:17,562 Oh, God. All those astronauts. 176 00:07:17,563 --> 00:07:20,106 It's-- It's worse than any explosion before it! 177 00:07:20,107 --> 00:07:21,315 This is hilarious. 178 00:07:21,316 --> 00:07:23,360 Hey, yo. Check this out. 179 00:07:24,236 --> 00:07:26,821 Awesome. No adult is getting inside. 180 00:07:26,822 --> 00:07:28,656 Also, don't sit on that chair. 181 00:07:28,657 --> 00:07:30,032 The cushion is knives. 182 00:07:30,033 --> 00:07:31,617 Somebody's got to sit on it! 183 00:07:31,618 --> 00:07:33,452 Gene should sit on it. 184 00:07:33,453 --> 00:07:35,622 Bam! Nice! 185 00:07:37,666 --> 00:07:39,792 Whoo-hoo! 186 00:07:39,793 --> 00:07:41,210 Hey there, girls. 187 00:07:41,211 --> 00:07:43,713 I'm guessing one of you is Beth from next door, 188 00:07:43,714 --> 00:07:45,548 and one of you is her... clone? 189 00:07:45,549 --> 00:07:47,466 But you're both little girls now? 190 00:07:47,467 --> 00:07:49,218 Not that strange, given what I've seen. 191 00:07:49,219 --> 00:07:51,095 What are you, a scientist? 192 00:07:51,096 --> 00:07:52,597 Come sit in our chair. 193 00:07:52,598 --> 00:07:55,600 Well, based on the design of your makeshift harpoon, 194 00:07:55,601 --> 00:07:58,186 seems like you girls are on a bit of a spree. 195 00:07:58,187 --> 00:08:00,730 Feel like I'm gonna be walking into some booby traps. 196 00:08:00,731 --> 00:08:02,148 Let's have some cocoa instead. 197 00:08:02,149 --> 00:08:05,693 - "Let's have some cocoa." - "I'm divorced." 198 00:08:05,694 --> 00:08:08,029 Hey! That is cruel and technically untrue. 199 00:08:08,030 --> 00:08:09,655 But you're in an altered headspace, 200 00:08:09,656 --> 00:08:11,199 so I know you don't mean it. 201 00:08:11,200 --> 00:08:13,993 Why don't you two sit tight? I'll get the Swiss Miss. 202 00:08:13,994 --> 00:08:16,078 - Let's go. - Go where? 203 00:08:16,079 --> 00:08:19,373 Go hunt him. Unless you're scaaared. 204 00:08:19,374 --> 00:08:21,000 I'm not scared of anything. 205 00:08:21,001 --> 00:08:22,711 Let's get in the walls. 206 00:08:24,296 --> 00:08:25,838 Morty: Wow, this is a good photo of us. 207 00:08:25,839 --> 00:08:27,173 Keep talking. 208 00:08:27,174 --> 00:08:29,008 I can smell your rotting breakfast. 209 00:08:29,009 --> 00:08:31,719 - Oh, God. - Your hairs are insane. 210 00:08:31,720 --> 00:08:33,262 They're all over your body. 211 00:08:33,263 --> 00:08:35,431 Can I touch them? Say a human phrase. 212 00:08:35,432 --> 00:08:38,809 Say "grocery list" in that stinkbody accent. 213 00:08:38,810 --> 00:08:39,894 You mean my voice? 214 00:08:39,895 --> 00:08:41,354 - Yes! - "Grocery list." 215 00:08:41,355 --> 00:08:42,855 I love your tooth-filled big hole 216 00:08:42,856 --> 00:08:44,899 and the other, less-used holes on your face. 217 00:08:44,900 --> 00:08:46,484 Okay, um, 218 00:08:46,485 --> 00:08:49,445 I'm getting the feeling that you're not into me 219 00:08:49,446 --> 00:08:54,283 a-as much as you like the idea of being with any human. 220 00:08:54,284 --> 00:08:56,160 Does it matter if I'm still turned on? 221 00:08:56,161 --> 00:08:57,662 No, I guess it doesn't. 222 00:08:57,663 --> 00:09:00,706 I want to get your wet muscle in my mouth. 223 00:09:00,707 --> 00:09:02,041 You mean my tongue? 224 00:09:02,042 --> 00:09:04,043 I don't care what it's called. 225 00:09:04,044 --> 00:09:06,087 Rick, I know you're having a bad time. 226 00:09:06,088 --> 00:09:08,673 But I think I saw a Panera up there 227 00:09:08,674 --> 00:09:10,341 that might change your tune. 228 00:09:10,342 --> 00:09:12,134 - A Panera?! - Yeah! 229 00:09:12,135 --> 00:09:14,720 - Shut up. - Is that Kevin Costner? 230 00:09:14,721 --> 00:09:16,013 Wait, why do I know that? 231 00:09:16,014 --> 00:09:17,765 Did Father make new models? 232 00:09:17,766 --> 00:09:19,350 I don't recognize you three. 233 00:09:19,351 --> 00:09:21,686 No, I'm... Old Guy Fieri, 234 00:09:21,687 --> 00:09:23,145 th-- this is Princess Diana, 235 00:09:23,146 --> 00:09:24,730 and he's Mr. Rogers. 236 00:09:24,731 --> 00:09:26,148 Or Brett Kavanaugh. 237 00:09:26,149 --> 00:09:27,942 I wouldn't know. I never left this park. 238 00:09:27,943 --> 00:09:29,068 Us, too. 239 00:09:29,069 --> 00:09:30,821 We're looking for Dogballs. 240 00:09:34,741 --> 00:09:37,160 He lives below. 241 00:09:41,290 --> 00:09:43,124 Dr. Dogballs. My man! 242 00:09:43,125 --> 00:09:45,376 Humans! Real humans! 243 00:09:45,377 --> 00:09:47,420 The mad genius who built Earth World! 244 00:09:47,421 --> 00:09:49,922 Nobody loves Earth as much as me. 245 00:09:49,923 --> 00:09:52,341 Car, Muscle Beach, property taxes. 246 00:09:52,342 --> 00:09:54,802 But before I could complete my perfect vision, 247 00:09:54,803 --> 00:09:57,888 I was caught with incriminating files on my computer, 248 00:09:57,889 --> 00:10:00,099 and the board chained me up. 249 00:10:00,100 --> 00:10:01,934 I watch animal pornography. 250 00:10:01,935 --> 00:10:03,561 It's my business. 251 00:10:03,562 --> 00:10:05,229 Like with people and animals? 252 00:10:05,230 --> 00:10:06,605 No, just the animals, sicko. 253 00:10:06,606 --> 00:10:08,566 The original Earth World was incredible. 254 00:10:08,567 --> 00:10:10,359 I-I got strep from a candy once! 255 00:10:10,360 --> 00:10:12,862 Of course you feel that way. You're a human being. 256 00:10:12,863 --> 00:10:16,073 You know what Earth theme parks are supposed to be like. 257 00:10:16,074 --> 00:10:18,159 I'd take you to the dead zone if I could 258 00:10:18,160 --> 00:10:20,745 and show you some of the old delights. 259 00:10:20,746 --> 00:10:22,705 But they won't let me leave my office. 260 00:10:22,706 --> 00:10:25,250 They won't, but I will. 261 00:10:26,043 --> 00:10:29,837 Welcome to the real Earth World! 262 00:10:29,838 --> 00:10:32,548 I guess this is closer to how I remember it. 263 00:10:32,549 --> 00:10:35,593 Oh! I stepped on a rusty nail! 264 00:10:35,594 --> 00:10:37,511 Aah! Aah! Aaaah! 265 00:10:37,512 --> 00:10:39,388 Hmm. At least Jerry got hurt. 266 00:10:39,389 --> 00:10:42,099 Hot cocoa with extra marshmallows! 267 00:10:42,100 --> 00:10:44,393 Hope you got room for extra marshmallows! 268 00:10:44,394 --> 00:10:46,854 Look at him holding marshmallows over our heads. 269 00:10:46,855 --> 00:10:48,105 Like that's some kind of power. 270 00:10:48,106 --> 00:10:50,149 I do like marshmallows. 271 00:10:50,150 --> 00:10:52,151 He doesn't decide about our marshmallows! 272 00:10:52,152 --> 00:10:53,778 You should go up there and cut him. 273 00:10:53,779 --> 00:10:55,154 You should cut him. 274 00:10:55,155 --> 00:10:56,447 [ Whispering ] What should we cut? 275 00:10:56,448 --> 00:10:58,617 I don't know. Just start slashing! 276 00:10:59,409 --> 00:11:00,826 Gene: Aaah! Aaah! 277 00:11:00,827 --> 00:11:02,828 Oh, my God! Oh, my God! 278 00:11:02,829 --> 00:11:05,539 My ankles! I need a doctor! 279 00:11:05,540 --> 00:11:07,833 Great. Now we have to take care of him. 280 00:11:07,834 --> 00:11:09,377 I don't want to take care of anybody! 281 00:11:09,378 --> 00:11:11,837 - You take care of him! - It was your idea! 282 00:11:11,838 --> 00:11:12,880 Both: Not it! Jinx! 283 00:11:12,881 --> 00:11:14,507 I think you hit an artery! 284 00:11:14,508 --> 00:11:16,509 - She did it! She's a psycho. - You're the psycho! 285 00:11:16,510 --> 00:11:18,010 I watched you eat a bird! 286 00:11:18,011 --> 00:11:21,013 After you tore off its wings! 287 00:11:21,014 --> 00:11:23,433 I'll show you who's psycho!! 288 00:11:26,520 --> 00:11:28,687 Yeah, run away, you baby! 289 00:11:28,688 --> 00:11:31,190 Remember your affirmations, Gene. 290 00:11:31,191 --> 00:11:33,984 You deserve to live. 291 00:11:33,985 --> 00:11:35,946 Oh. 292 00:11:37,572 --> 00:11:41,660 Welp, somehow every decision I've ever made has led to this. 293 00:11:43,703 --> 00:11:49,708 {\an8}♪ 294 00:11:49,709 --> 00:11:51,961 - Aaaaah! - Get out of my treehouse! 295 00:11:51,962 --> 00:11:53,797 Get out of my yard! 296 00:11:55,048 --> 00:11:57,300 [ Breathing heavily ] 297 00:11:58,844 --> 00:12:00,386 Aaah! 298 00:12:00,387 --> 00:12:03,097 Fire alarm: Fire detected. Extinguishing. 299 00:12:03,098 --> 00:12:21,699 {\an8}♪ 300 00:12:21,700 --> 00:12:23,868 Come on, Gene. Not like this. 301 00:12:23,869 --> 00:12:25,035 Not like this! 302 00:12:25,036 --> 00:12:27,037 Hey, Siri, call 911! 303 00:12:27,038 --> 00:12:29,165 Siri: Countdown to calling 911. 304 00:12:29,166 --> 00:12:32,251 Calling 911 in 10, 9, 8, 7-- 305 00:12:32,252 --> 00:12:34,296 Why does it need a countdown?!! 306 00:12:35,297 --> 00:12:39,049 Alien M.C.: Earth's World War II was fought with combines and harvesters, 307 00:12:39,050 --> 00:12:41,677 and you're about to witness it firsthand. 308 00:12:41,678 --> 00:12:43,804 Oh, God, is that a live wire? 309 00:12:43,805 --> 00:12:46,182 None of the electricity is grounded here. 310 00:12:46,183 --> 00:12:48,477 - [ Cellphone vibrates ] - Shit. 311 00:12:49,519 --> 00:12:51,228 I-I got to get home before Gene calls 911 312 00:12:51,229 --> 00:12:52,813 from any other phone but his own. 313 00:12:52,814 --> 00:12:54,607 The head thing so you can get out the way you came. 314 00:12:54,608 --> 00:12:57,234 Wait, you're leaving? I thought you loved this place. 315 00:12:57,235 --> 00:12:58,903 Yeah, uh, I don't know. 316 00:12:58,904 --> 00:13:00,279 I-I guess Morty was right. 317 00:13:00,280 --> 00:13:01,822 Am I, like, supposed to think it's cool 318 00:13:01,823 --> 00:13:04,283 that there's measles in the water, and like, snakes? 319 00:13:04,284 --> 00:13:06,369 Nah. Y-You guys have fun. 320 00:13:08,163 --> 00:13:10,873 - Aaah! - Oh. shiiiit! 321 00:13:10,874 --> 00:13:16,045 {\an8}♪ 322 00:13:16,046 --> 00:13:17,923 We're done here, boys. 323 00:13:20,550 --> 00:13:22,134 Rick, your girls. 324 00:13:22,135 --> 00:13:24,178 They're not good people. 325 00:13:24,179 --> 00:13:26,556 Thank... you. 326 00:13:27,349 --> 00:13:30,017 I've only been gone for two hours! 327 00:13:30,018 --> 00:13:31,602 Hey, Beths! 328 00:13:31,603 --> 00:13:32,645 Deducing here that you've been huffing childhood 329 00:13:32,646 --> 00:13:34,814 and have overdosed on fun. 330 00:13:36,399 --> 00:13:37,817 Ouch. 331 00:13:44,199 --> 00:13:47,451 - Child Beth: I'm gonna kill you! - Child Space Beth: I'm gonna kill you first! 332 00:13:47,452 --> 00:13:49,203 Ow, damn it! 333 00:13:49,204 --> 00:13:50,914 That's it, we're done. 334 00:13:58,463 --> 00:14:00,089 You dick! 335 00:14:00,090 --> 00:14:01,298 Aaah! 336 00:14:01,299 --> 00:14:03,008 Enough "Home Alone"-ing. 337 00:14:03,009 --> 00:14:04,677 God damn it! 338 00:14:04,678 --> 00:14:07,763 I cloned you to fix this, not make you twice as annoying. 339 00:14:07,764 --> 00:14:10,516 Dr. Dogballs: Oh, I-I-can't tell you, oh, my God, 340 00:14:10,517 --> 00:14:14,270 I've waited so long for someone to see my vision. 341 00:14:14,271 --> 00:14:16,855 And of course it was real humans! 342 00:14:16,856 --> 00:14:19,358 You're the perfect audience for this-- 343 00:14:19,359 --> 00:14:22,695 my finest moment. 344 00:14:22,696 --> 00:14:25,531 Oh, shit. What's that?! 345 00:14:25,532 --> 00:14:27,575 My beautiful creations. 346 00:14:27,576 --> 00:14:30,537 They're going to destroy the park. 347 00:14:31,454 --> 00:14:32,788 Oh, God. 348 00:14:32,789 --> 00:14:34,790 I thought they were people in costumes, 349 00:14:34,791 --> 00:14:36,542 but the costumes are the people? 350 00:14:36,543 --> 00:14:38,043 The people are the costumes?! 351 00:14:38,044 --> 00:14:41,046 All Earth theme parks end the same way. 352 00:14:41,047 --> 00:14:43,340 Jurassic Park, Westworld-- 353 00:14:43,341 --> 00:14:46,176 even the rides inside the theme parks 354 00:14:46,177 --> 00:14:47,511 tell the same story. 355 00:14:47,512 --> 00:14:48,971 You're on a boat ride 356 00:14:48,972 --> 00:14:51,390 when suddenly you take a detour to a waterfall, 357 00:14:51,391 --> 00:14:53,559 and now you're in a pirate's den, 358 00:14:53,560 --> 00:14:56,228 forced to suck dick to stay alive! 359 00:14:56,229 --> 00:14:57,730 Why would you do this? 360 00:14:57,731 --> 00:14:59,315 The greatest tribute to Earth 361 00:14:59,316 --> 00:15:03,486 is a theme park that ends in chaos. 362 00:15:08,033 --> 00:15:10,577 Be free! Be free, my lovelies! 363 00:15:11,328 --> 00:15:12,828 Hungry for meat. 364 00:15:12,829 --> 00:15:15,080 Eat meat! 365 00:15:15,081 --> 00:15:16,874 Take it all! 366 00:15:16,875 --> 00:15:18,083 Take the other one! 367 00:15:18,084 --> 00:15:19,251 Shit! Dad! 368 00:15:19,252 --> 00:15:20,919 Take it! Take it all! 369 00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:22,921 Blend in. Stumble around! 370 00:15:22,922 --> 00:15:25,508 {\an8}♪ 371 00:15:29,512 --> 00:15:33,223 - Yeah, you like that? Labradoodle. - Mmm. 372 00:15:33,224 --> 00:15:35,351 - Coconut milk. - Uh-huh. More human stuff. 373 00:15:35,352 --> 00:15:37,270 Big League Chew. 374 00:15:38,355 --> 00:15:40,648 Ooh! Say something racist. 375 00:15:40,649 --> 00:15:44,735 - What? - C'mon, you're human, it's your whole thing. 376 00:15:44,736 --> 00:15:46,028 Uhhh... 377 00:15:46,029 --> 00:15:49,573 I-Italians make pretty-- pretty good pizza? 378 00:15:49,574 --> 00:15:53,452 No, do it hateful, you disgusting little bug. 379 00:15:53,453 --> 00:15:55,120 Uhhhh, did you hear that? 380 00:15:55,121 --> 00:15:57,373 Now you're pretending there's some kind of emergency? 381 00:15:57,374 --> 00:15:59,625 I tried to be vulnerable with you. 382 00:15:59,626 --> 00:16:01,502 If you don't think I'm pretty, just say so. 383 00:16:01,503 --> 00:16:03,837 I'm sorry, but I-I'm not just some sexual fantasy, 384 00:16:03,838 --> 00:16:08,634 - I'm a whole person. - C'mon, you guys basically invented racism. 385 00:16:08,635 --> 00:16:10,678 If I wanted to fuck something good, 386 00:16:10,679 --> 00:16:13,263 I wouldn't have come to Earth World. 387 00:16:13,264 --> 00:16:14,682 Aaaah! 388 00:16:14,683 --> 00:16:17,476 I don't even know who this is! Aaaaah! 389 00:16:17,477 --> 00:16:20,021 It's John Legend, I think! Oh, my God! 390 00:16:24,693 --> 00:16:27,696 Summer? Rick? A-Anyone?! 391 00:16:28,571 --> 00:16:30,989 Uh, that's the entire Culkin family! 392 00:16:30,990 --> 00:16:33,325 I-I guess there's seven of them? 393 00:16:33,326 --> 00:16:34,744 Aaah! 394 00:16:35,745 --> 00:16:38,914 I loved you in "Succession!" I'm sorry! 395 00:16:38,915 --> 00:16:40,165 Enough kindergarten. 396 00:16:40,166 --> 00:16:41,583 I don't have time to be your dad. 397 00:16:41,584 --> 00:16:43,419 - You never did! - You want me to be a parent? 398 00:16:43,420 --> 00:16:46,506 Fine. No more talking until you're adults. 399 00:16:48,000 --> 00:16:54,074 400 00:17:00,729 --> 00:17:02,396 Okay, whichever one you are, you're up. 401 00:17:02,397 --> 00:17:04,440 She can't breathe! She can't breathe! 402 00:17:04,441 --> 00:17:06,400 Aw, shit, fuck! 403 00:17:06,401 --> 00:17:08,527 - Take that! - Aaah! 404 00:17:08,528 --> 00:17:10,320 How old should we make him? 405 00:17:10,321 --> 00:17:12,197 As old as it'll go. 406 00:17:12,198 --> 00:17:14,492 [ Machine whirring ] 407 00:17:18,621 --> 00:17:20,497 Bet it's scary to have your life in the hands 408 00:17:20,498 --> 00:17:22,750 of unreliable caregivers! 409 00:17:22,751 --> 00:17:24,878 [ Groaning ] 410 00:17:26,004 --> 00:17:27,755 Walk! We're not taking care of you! 411 00:17:27,756 --> 00:17:30,048 Yeah, get up, or we'll leave you here! 412 00:17:30,049 --> 00:17:33,385 Just like you left us. Lazy piece of shit! 413 00:17:33,386 --> 00:17:35,554 Fuck you, Dad! Fucking asshole! 414 00:17:35,555 --> 00:17:39,099 You didn't want us. You just wanted to fuck off. 415 00:17:39,100 --> 00:17:41,351 I-I didn't leave. 416 00:17:41,352 --> 00:17:43,729 My Beth died. 417 00:17:43,730 --> 00:17:46,649 Yeah, well, someone left us! 418 00:17:48,026 --> 00:17:49,568 And there's two of us now! 419 00:17:49,569 --> 00:17:51,570 You should love us twice as much! 420 00:17:51,571 --> 00:17:54,907 Both: All we wanted was to be together!! 421 00:17:54,908 --> 00:17:56,909 [ Sobbing ] 422 00:17:56,910 --> 00:17:58,744 Don't you... cry! 423 00:17:58,745 --> 00:18:01,747 You don't deserve to cry! 424 00:18:01,748 --> 00:18:03,582 Proud... 425 00:18:03,583 --> 00:18:04,583 Proud? 426 00:18:04,584 --> 00:18:07,169 Proud... of you... 427 00:18:07,170 --> 00:18:11,841 for making me old and beating... the shit out of me. 428 00:18:13,051 --> 00:18:15,094 [ Both sobbing ] 429 00:18:16,513 --> 00:18:21,601 Proud you're-- you're both my daughters. 430 00:18:25,146 --> 00:18:27,190 [ All sobbing ] 431 00:18:30,819 --> 00:18:32,528 Ow. Ow. 432 00:18:32,529 --> 00:18:35,531 You little bitches broke my bones. 433 00:18:35,532 --> 00:18:37,867 [ All laugh ] 434 00:18:40,119 --> 00:18:41,704 I'm shitting! 435 00:18:42,455 --> 00:18:44,039 I'm not joking. 436 00:18:44,040 --> 00:18:45,749 Stop making me laugh. 437 00:18:45,750 --> 00:18:47,794 It's making me shit more! 438 00:18:51,297 --> 00:18:53,131 Beths: It's perfect! 439 00:18:53,132 --> 00:18:55,133 The only thing that could make this better 440 00:18:55,134 --> 00:18:56,718 is if something was on fire. 441 00:18:56,719 --> 00:18:58,470 I might stab something again. 442 00:18:58,471 --> 00:19:00,305 Probably should turn you back. 443 00:19:00,306 --> 00:19:02,684 Do most kids like to stab this much? 444 00:19:03,935 --> 00:19:05,477 There's the exit. Stay close. 445 00:19:05,478 --> 00:19:07,437 [ Screaming ] 446 00:19:07,438 --> 00:19:08,981 Please help! 447 00:19:08,982 --> 00:19:10,649 Oh, thank God! 448 00:19:10,650 --> 00:19:13,485 How could you-- aaah! 449 00:19:13,486 --> 00:19:15,279 Oh, shit, Morty's killing... 450 00:19:15,280 --> 00:19:16,738 I think that's Rory Culkin? 451 00:19:16,739 --> 00:19:18,699 I-Is that who this one is!? 452 00:19:18,700 --> 00:19:20,284 We got to bail. Get a head. 453 00:19:20,285 --> 00:19:23,036 - What? - Put on Rory! 454 00:19:23,037 --> 00:19:24,581 There's no room! 455 00:19:25,456 --> 00:19:27,624 Ugh! It's so wet in here. 456 00:19:27,625 --> 00:19:29,543 It smells, too. It smells wet. 457 00:19:29,544 --> 00:19:31,336 They're coming! 458 00:19:31,337 --> 00:19:32,922 Come on! 459 00:19:33,882 --> 00:19:35,507 - Come on, get in! - Where's the remote? 460 00:19:35,508 --> 00:19:37,509 I lost the remote! I can't shrink our heads! 461 00:19:37,510 --> 00:19:39,012 Give me the keys! 462 00:19:42,432 --> 00:19:44,808 More like Earth World. 463 00:19:44,809 --> 00:19:47,686 - What? - Like "Jurassic World"? The big sequel? 464 00:19:47,687 --> 00:19:48,979 I-I don't know what you're saying. 465 00:19:48,980 --> 00:19:50,272 Well, wasn't it called Earth Park? 466 00:19:50,273 --> 00:19:51,398 - No! - No! 467 00:19:51,399 --> 00:19:52,441 Oh. 468 00:19:52,442 --> 00:19:54,359 Is anybody getting cold? 469 00:19:54,360 --> 00:19:56,696 [ Cellphone vibrates ] 470 00:20:00,533 --> 00:20:02,200 ♪ Sometimes you wanna go ♪ 471 00:20:02,201 --> 00:20:06,164 ♪ Where everybody knows your name ♪ 472 00:20:07,957 --> 00:20:11,711 ♪ And they're always glad you came ♪ 473 00:20:12,795 --> 00:20:14,880 ♪ You wanna be where you can see ♪ 474 00:20:14,881 --> 00:20:17,424 ♪ Our troubles are all the same ♪ 475 00:20:17,425 --> 00:20:22,221 ♪ You wanna be where everybody knows your name ♪ 476 00:20:23,222 --> 00:20:25,557 ♪ You wanna go where people know ♪ 477 00:20:25,558 --> 00:20:27,935 ♪ People are all the same ♪ 478 00:20:27,936 --> 00:20:32,523 ♪ You wanna go where everybody knows your name ♪ 479 00:20:34,817 --> 00:20:37,861 I'm blind! Space froze my eyes! 480 00:20:37,862 --> 00:20:40,364 Yeah, Jerry, I told you that theme park sucks! 481 00:20:40,365 --> 00:21:11,937 {\an8}♪ 482 00:21:11,938 --> 00:21:14,189 Rick: Hello, you've reached 911. 483 00:21:14,190 --> 00:21:17,734 - If this is an emergency, please leave a message. - [ Beep ] 484 00:21:17,735 --> 00:21:19,111 Gene: The house across the street from me 485 00:21:19,112 --> 00:21:20,946 keeps disappearing and reappearing. 486 00:21:20,947 --> 00:21:22,823 I-I don't know if that's an emergency, 487 00:21:22,824 --> 00:21:24,616 but it's really upsetting. 488 00:21:24,617 --> 00:21:26,952 - Could you send someone to investigate? - [ Beep ] 489 00:21:26,953 --> 00:21:30,038 - So, I was eating a burger, and now my hands are burgers. - [ Beep ] 490 00:21:30,039 --> 00:21:31,832 Hi, I'm being home-invaded, 491 00:21:31,833 --> 00:21:33,583 and it's-- it's by a small home. 492 00:21:33,584 --> 00:21:35,794 There's a small home that's home-invading my home. 493 00:21:35,795 --> 00:21:38,130 - It's wearing a ski-mask, but it's definitely a house. - [ Beep ] 494 00:21:38,131 --> 00:21:40,132 There's a pigeon outside my house 495 00:21:40,133 --> 00:21:41,925 - demanding to see my birth certificate. - [ Beep ] 496 00:21:41,926 --> 00:21:43,969 I'm beginning to think 911 shouldn't have 497 00:21:43,970 --> 00:21:45,470 an answering machine. 498 00:21:45,471 --> 00:21:47,514 Also, I have eleven legs now. 499 00:21:47,515 --> 00:21:49,726 - Nobody ever comes. - [ Beep ] 500 00:21:51,394 --> 00:21:52,729 Did you get any of that? 500 00:21:53,305 --> 00:22:53,549 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org