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[no audio]

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Okay. - Rolling.

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556. - There we go.

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[clap]

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[no audio]

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Set.

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[no audio]

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And action.

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And Gerry and I were particularly excited by this bit.

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So the toga is not just a practical item of clothing, given their climate,

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it also allows the Roman citizen to discreetly change into his swimming trunks.

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So that's it. All 106 minutes of it.

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I have my problems with this.

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For instance, here.

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My research suggests that a centurion of this period, but not of all,

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has scabbard that length.

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Well, actually, it's scabbard exactly that length.

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It's scabbard in western Turkey.

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Yes, mine's quite correct.

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Well, congratulations. That's completely cleared up my reservations.

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Surely, gentlemen, we're missing the important point here.

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I mean, the big thing we all seem to be ignoring is...

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The colour of the tunics. - Precisely.

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[clears throat]

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Look, sorry, have you all gone mad?

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This is a videotape.

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Yes, an ancient Roman videotape. Well done, Mack and Gerry.

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The Romans didn't have videotape.

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It's made of plastic.

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Plastic wasn't invented until the 1950s.

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But it could have, like, came in the 1920s.

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That's a sort of plastic.

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All right, all right.

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Television. Why haven't we found any Roman televisions?

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Look, I just find it incredible that this has been allowed to get this far.

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I am genuinely ashamed to be a part of this faculty.

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Simon's quite right.

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I didn't realise it was too good to be true.

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You must all think I'm very foolish.

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[chuckles]

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Well, I hope you're pleased with yourself, Simon.

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This man has spent his whole life building up this department,

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and you sit there and destroy everything he's worked for without a moment's thought.

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You must feel very proud of yourself, Simon.

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Well done.

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Well, I'm not saying it's completely impossible.

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The ancient Egyptians had brain surgery.

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Really, Simon?

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Yeah, and there's some evidence that the ancient Egyptians had batteries as well.

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Great.

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Right then.

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Well, I think we should go public with this,

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but it would mean everyone in this room staking their professional reputation on it.

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Are we all prepared to do that?

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Simon, you seem to have a couple of reservations a minute ago.

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Are you sure you're happy?

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[laughter]

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Um, yeah.

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Let's go for it.

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Thank you.

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And cut!

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[applause]

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[overlapping chatter]

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Whose signal is it next?

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(audience laughing)