1
00:00:10,010 --> 00:00:12,929
[upbeat theme music playing]

2
00:00:17,517 --> 00:00:20,854
[bumper music playing]

3
00:00:21,521 --> 00:00:25,775
I love Sunday service, but why do I eat
like it's actually the Last Supper?

4
00:00:28,153 --> 00:00:30,947
Hey, did Pastor Dave seem off to you?

5
00:00:31,031 --> 00:00:34,034
I mean, he kind of went
into a fugue state during the sermon.

6
00:00:34,117 --> 00:00:36,244
Well, the man's 85, bless his heart.

7
00:00:36,327 --> 00:00:39,164
You try coming up
with a fresh take every Sunday.

8
00:00:39,247 --> 00:00:40,832
Hey, you want to swing by the--?

9
00:00:40,915 --> 00:00:43,168
-[crash]
-[tires screeching]

10
00:00:46,171 --> 00:00:48,840
-[air hissing]
-[Leanne and Carol panting]

11
00:00:50,133 --> 00:00:52,010
-Are we alive?
-I think so.

12
00:00:52,093 --> 00:00:54,971
-Are you hurt?
-Uh, no. No. You?

13
00:00:55,055 --> 00:00:56,765
No, I'm good.

14
00:01:01,978 --> 00:01:03,021
Sorry!

15
00:01:05,231 --> 00:01:10,862
♪ Leanne ♪

16
00:01:11,362 --> 00:01:12,405
[Mary] Oh.

17
00:01:12,489 --> 00:01:15,742
I pressed the brakes, but nothing happened
until your car stopped me.

18
00:01:15,825 --> 00:01:17,869
It's okay, Mary. It's not your fault.

19
00:01:17,952 --> 00:01:19,412
Yes, it is.

20
00:01:19,496 --> 00:01:21,372
And why are you driving Jerry's car?

21
00:01:21,456 --> 00:01:25,585
I only drive it on Sundays because I know
how much he loves joining me at church.

22
00:01:25,668 --> 00:01:29,422
A second sooner and we all
would have been joining Jerry in glory.

23
00:01:29,506 --> 00:01:31,549
How did we come out of this okay?

24
00:01:31,633 --> 00:01:33,593
We should all be chalk marks
on the street.

25
00:01:33,676 --> 00:01:36,054
The good Lord must have been
looking out for us.

26
00:01:36,137 --> 00:01:39,599
Well, you and me,
we were Carol's spiritual airbags.

27
00:01:40,350 --> 00:01:42,560
Am I the only one that peed a little?

28
00:01:43,686 --> 00:01:44,729
-No.
-No.

29
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[bumper music playing]

30
00:01:53,196 --> 00:01:55,949
-You couldn't sleep either?
-[sighs] I'm still shaking.

31
00:01:56,032 --> 00:01:57,075
Me too.

32
00:01:58,118 --> 00:02:00,954
Andrew offered
to stay on the phone with me all night.

33
00:02:01,037 --> 00:02:02,497
Isn't that sweet?

34
00:02:02,580 --> 00:02:03,665
Mm.

35
00:02:03,748 --> 00:02:06,584
I tried counting sheep,
but they all looked like Mary.

36
00:02:12,507 --> 00:02:15,468
I can't stop thinking
about how we could have died.

37
00:02:15,552 --> 00:02:16,469
I know.

38
00:02:16,553 --> 00:02:18,763
My life flashed before my eyes.

39
00:02:18,847 --> 00:02:20,098
Mine too.

40
00:02:20,181 --> 00:02:22,350
I was not happy with what I saw.

41
00:02:27,564 --> 00:02:28,606
Leanne?

42
00:02:31,317 --> 00:02:33,820
I'm sorry, but mine was magnificent.

43
00:02:34,654 --> 00:02:37,031
I'm talking picture-perfect, no regrets.

44
00:02:37,115 --> 00:02:39,117
Of course it was. You're a saint.

45
00:02:39,200 --> 00:02:42,245
-Well, Carol, I wouldn't go that far.
-No, it's true.

46
00:02:42,328 --> 00:02:44,205
You've lived your life right.

47
00:02:44,289 --> 00:02:48,251
My bad karma caused the accident,
and your good karma saved us.

48
00:02:48,334 --> 00:02:50,044
I don't know about that.

49
00:02:50,128 --> 00:02:52,380
But we've been spared for a reason.

50
00:02:52,922 --> 00:02:55,049
Our job must not be done here.

51
00:02:55,800 --> 00:02:56,801
You're right.

52
00:02:57,719 --> 00:02:59,345
I have to change my ways.

53
00:03:00,263 --> 00:03:02,432
No more dark cloud Carol.

54
00:03:02,515 --> 00:03:05,768
From now on,
nothing but kindness, service.

55
00:03:05,852 --> 00:03:07,270
No more making fun of people.

56
00:03:07,353 --> 00:03:08,855
Starting right now!

57
00:03:09,856 --> 00:03:12,275
Maybe we should check on Mary.
She's gotta be rattled too.

58
00:03:12,358 --> 00:03:15,570
Hell no, that ginger assassin
almost killed us!

59
00:03:22,202 --> 00:03:23,536
Okay, starting now.

60
00:03:24,537 --> 00:03:27,040
[bumper music playing]

61
00:03:31,336 --> 00:03:32,879
Well, what's all this?

62
00:03:32,962 --> 00:03:35,632
I woke up early to make you breakfast.

63
00:03:35,715 --> 00:03:38,635
Project Good Deeds
is off to a greasy start.

64
00:03:38,718 --> 00:03:40,053
Oh.

65
00:03:40,136 --> 00:03:43,014
Well, thank you,
nice lady in Carol's skin.

66
00:03:46,142 --> 00:03:47,268
Hey.

67
00:03:47,352 --> 00:03:49,938
-What are you doing here?
-Tyler told me about the accident.

68
00:03:50,021 --> 00:03:53,358
-I wanted to see if you were okay.
-Oh, thank you, but we're fine.

69
00:03:53,441 --> 00:03:55,026
Hey, big guy. You hungry?

70
00:03:57,695 --> 00:03:58,988
She hit her head?

71
00:04:00,698 --> 00:04:02,659
Better. She hit her heart.

72
00:04:02,742 --> 00:04:03,576
Oh.

73
00:04:03,660 --> 00:04:05,036
Pretty small target.

74
00:04:05,828 --> 00:04:07,080
[chuckles]

75
00:04:07,789 --> 00:04:09,832
Come on, give me your best.

76
00:04:09,916 --> 00:04:11,918
My nose looks like a can opener.

77
00:04:12,001 --> 00:04:14,003
My arms dangle like a puppet.

78
00:04:14,087 --> 00:04:17,090
I look like a rubber chicken.
But meaner, you know, 'cause it's you.

79
00:04:18,508 --> 00:04:20,551
Oh, Bill, who hurt you?

80
00:04:22,345 --> 00:04:23,346
You.

81
00:04:25,515 --> 00:04:26,766
I like the new Carol.

82
00:04:26,849 --> 00:04:28,851
I don't. It's deeply unsettling.

83
00:04:30,603 --> 00:04:33,314
Staring down death can change a person.

84
00:04:33,398 --> 00:04:35,441
It certainly puts things in perspective.

85
00:04:35,525 --> 00:04:36,401
Oh.

86
00:04:36,484 --> 00:04:39,904
You're breaking things off
with Agent J. Edgar Loser?

87
00:04:40,697 --> 00:04:43,950
No, I'm very happy in my relationship,
thank you.

88
00:04:44,033 --> 00:04:47,704
Oh, if he's so great,
why isn't he here comforting you like me?

89
00:04:48,246 --> 00:04:51,374
There is nothing comforting about this.

90
00:04:53,835 --> 00:04:57,797
But my close call has had me thinking
about loose ends that need tidying up.

91
00:04:57,880 --> 00:04:59,799
Want me to get my golf clubs
out of the garage?

92
00:04:59,882 --> 00:05:03,886
No, I want you to get
your future corpse out of our burial plot.

93
00:05:05,680 --> 00:05:08,308
I bought those plots for our anniversary.

94
00:05:12,395 --> 00:05:14,480
And as romantic as that was…

95
00:05:16,607 --> 00:05:20,320
things have changed, and I no longer
want to spend eternity lying next to you.

96
00:05:20,903 --> 00:05:23,573
Where am I supposed to go?
I want to be near the kids.

97
00:05:23,656 --> 00:05:26,534
Why don't we tuck you up
into one of those walls

98
00:05:26,617 --> 00:05:29,162
with a nice view of the rest of us?

99
00:05:30,163 --> 00:05:33,624
No, I have every right
to rot underground with my family.

100
00:05:33,708 --> 00:05:35,335
I knew you'd have an attitude.

101
00:05:35,918 --> 00:05:38,880
Well, if it's so groovy over on the wall,
why don't you go there?

102
00:05:39,464 --> 00:05:41,674
Because I birthed
and breastfed these children.

103
00:05:41,758 --> 00:05:44,886
Well… I breastfed our mortgage.

104
00:05:45,386 --> 00:05:49,766
Well, when I was dilated nine centimeters,
you were eating a bag of pork rinds.

105
00:05:51,726 --> 00:05:53,394
This is not a fair fight.

106
00:05:53,978 --> 00:05:56,689
[bumper music playing]

107
00:05:56,773 --> 00:05:59,192
All right, I've updated
all my health insurance documents.

108
00:05:59,275 --> 00:06:02,862
Bill is officially out,
and you are now my emergency contact.

109
00:06:02,945 --> 00:06:05,448
Ooh! That goes in Carol's good file.

110
00:06:06,032 --> 00:06:08,576
-It really doesn't work that way.
-Oh, it does for me.

111
00:06:08,659 --> 00:06:10,161
Rack it, big guy.

112
00:06:11,204 --> 00:06:14,874
You know, I don't want to say I'm glad
this accident happened, but I kind of am.

113
00:06:14,957 --> 00:06:17,168
-We're making positive changes.
-Oh yeah.

114
00:06:17,251 --> 00:06:19,754
I'm finding
all sorts of ways to give back.

115
00:06:19,837 --> 00:06:20,755
Check it out.

116
00:06:20,838 --> 00:06:24,509
I'm one PayPal click away
from adopting a gorilla.

117
00:06:24,592 --> 00:06:26,552
-Oh.
-[laughs] Uh-huh.

118
00:06:27,053 --> 00:06:28,638
His name's Kamandi.

119
00:06:28,721 --> 00:06:31,391
They send you a picture every month,
some of his artwork.

120
00:06:31,474 --> 00:06:33,601
He likes to finger paint.

121
00:06:34,268 --> 00:06:36,187
We're not putting those on our fridge.

122
00:06:38,898 --> 00:06:40,066
[Mary whining]

123
00:06:40,149 --> 00:06:41,526
Mary, what's wrong?

124
00:06:41,609 --> 00:06:43,152
Well, the mechanic called.

125
00:06:43,236 --> 00:06:48,032
Jerry's car is totaled and they're gonna
smash it into one of those little cubes.

126
00:06:48,116 --> 00:06:50,618
-[Mary sobbing]
-Mary, come here.

127
00:06:51,786 --> 00:06:54,080
It's okay. Carol's different now.

128
00:06:54,747 --> 00:06:56,707
-[sobbing]
-[Carol] Mmm.

129
00:06:56,791 --> 00:07:00,586
Oh, when I drove that car,
it felt like I was sitting in Jerry's lap.

130
00:07:00,670 --> 00:07:02,922
Oh, let's get you inside.

131
00:07:03,005 --> 00:07:04,006
[Mary] Mm-hm.

132
00:07:04,090 --> 00:07:05,758
You see that? All love.

133
00:07:08,594 --> 00:07:12,014
I just can't imagine life
without Jerry's car.

134
00:07:13,182 --> 00:07:16,352
The car may be gone, but you'll always
have your sweet memories.

135
00:07:16,436 --> 00:07:20,440
Thank goodness I still have all
his stuff at home, right where he left it.

136
00:07:21,023 --> 00:07:25,486
His robe, his toothbrush,
his comb with his hair in it.

137
00:07:26,779 --> 00:07:29,615
It's been seven years, Mary.
You've never cleared anything out?

138
00:07:29,699 --> 00:07:31,868
Oh, no. That would make me feel lonely.

139
00:07:32,493 --> 00:07:35,538
Maybe being reminded of him
makes you feel worse.

140
00:07:35,621 --> 00:07:36,914
Mm. Let me take a crack at this.

141
00:07:37,623 --> 00:07:40,710
I had a cat named Whiskers
because she didn't have any.

142
00:07:40,793 --> 00:07:44,338
She came to me that way.
I have theories, but I'm digressing.

143
00:07:44,422 --> 00:07:45,465
May I step in?

144
00:07:45,548 --> 00:07:46,966
No, my crack.

145
00:07:47,049 --> 00:07:48,968
Anyway, when Whiskers died,

146
00:07:49,051 --> 00:07:51,345
I couldn't bring myself
to throw away her bowl.

147
00:07:51,429 --> 00:07:53,848
But then I finally did,
and now it's like, who cares?

148
00:07:56,017 --> 00:07:58,019
Carol's new at comforting.

149
00:07:59,604 --> 00:08:03,191
You know, we have found that this accident
has been an opportunity for change.

150
00:08:03,274 --> 00:08:05,026
I don't care for change.

151
00:08:05,526 --> 00:08:08,988
Well, I think Jerry's car
being taken from you is the first step.

152
00:08:09,071 --> 00:08:13,034
Now you're ready to let go of the rest,
hair in a comb and all.

153
00:08:13,868 --> 00:08:16,621
I've tried to do it,
but I just can't face it alone.

154
00:08:16,704 --> 00:08:17,830
I'll help.

155
00:08:17,914 --> 00:08:18,998
We'll both help.

156
00:08:19,081 --> 00:08:20,291
Yeah, but I said it first.

157
00:08:20,958 --> 00:08:21,792
You… You will?

158
00:08:21,876 --> 00:08:22,752
Of course.

159
00:08:24,253 --> 00:08:25,338
Oh. [chuckles]

160
00:08:25,421 --> 00:08:26,964
This is gonna be a thing now.

161
00:08:27,548 --> 00:08:30,635
[bumper music playing]

162
00:08:30,718 --> 00:08:33,346
What is Jerry's shoehorn telling you?

163
00:08:34,347 --> 00:08:36,140
I know this is taking long,

164
00:08:36,224 --> 00:08:40,645
but I really appreciate your patience
as I walk through the land of Jerry.

165
00:08:41,771 --> 00:08:42,813
Donate.

166
00:08:43,564 --> 00:08:45,566
See? There you go.

167
00:08:45,650 --> 00:08:48,486
Okay, now how about
we tackle this sock drawer?

168
00:08:49,570 --> 00:08:51,864
I'm gonna need a breather.
I'll be right back.

169
00:08:54,867 --> 00:08:57,537
I did not know
what we were signing up for.

170
00:08:58,120 --> 00:09:01,666
I knew we were in trouble
when she wept over his mouth guard.

171
00:09:03,334 --> 00:09:04,293
Yeah.

172
00:09:05,503 --> 00:09:08,798
But we're being of service,
and we can feel good about that.

173
00:09:08,881 --> 00:09:09,882
Sure.

174
00:09:11,592 --> 00:09:12,760
What's wrong?

175
00:09:13,427 --> 00:09:15,346
If we had died in that accident,

176
00:09:15,429 --> 00:09:18,307
someone would be looking through
our stuff like this.

177
00:09:18,391 --> 00:09:19,559
I know.

178
00:09:19,642 --> 00:09:22,895
The idea of Josie and Tyler
grieving over my belongings,

179
00:09:22,979 --> 00:09:24,272
it just breaks my heart.

180
00:09:24,355 --> 00:09:25,565
No, but that's just it.

181
00:09:25,648 --> 00:09:28,442
At least you have people
who'd care about your stuff.

182
00:09:28,526 --> 00:09:31,404
My life has
no sentimental value to anyone.

183
00:09:31,487 --> 00:09:32,530
That's not true.

184
00:09:32,613 --> 00:09:35,408
It is true, and I feel so stupid

185
00:09:35,491 --> 00:09:39,245
for trying to cram through good deeds
to give my life purpose.

186
00:09:39,328 --> 00:09:40,746
Carol, don't say that.

187
00:09:40,830 --> 00:09:44,375
Oh, please. No one's gonna be crying
over my Waterpik.

188
00:09:48,087 --> 00:09:49,171
All right, I'm back.

189
00:09:49,255 --> 00:09:50,214
Great.

190
00:09:50,298 --> 00:09:52,883
Jerry's suspenders, in or out? I say out.

191
00:09:52,967 --> 00:09:54,343
[gasps] Oh!

192
00:09:54,427 --> 00:09:57,263
-I didn't get to hold them.
-Oh, we're done with that. Next!

193
00:09:58,389 --> 00:10:01,934
[bumper music playing]

194
00:10:03,269 --> 00:10:04,478
Sorry, Jerry.

195
00:10:04,562 --> 00:10:07,898
In the end, we're all just
garbage bags in a hallway.

196
00:10:08,482 --> 00:10:12,653
I never thought we'd get that comb of hair
out of her tiny little praying hands.

197
00:10:13,154 --> 00:10:15,114
It's all so depressing.

198
00:10:15,698 --> 00:10:18,159
You know, Pastor Dave
is on the other side of that door.

199
00:10:18,242 --> 00:10:20,286
Why don't you go
and have a little talk with him?

200
00:10:20,369 --> 00:10:21,662
Why? I'm fine.

201
00:10:22,246 --> 00:10:24,540
There's a psychological term
for people like you.

202
00:10:24,624 --> 00:10:26,792
It's called "help-resistant complainer."

203
00:10:28,419 --> 00:10:30,546
Either become a shrink or shut up.

204
00:10:36,594 --> 00:10:39,805
Pastor Dave, if Leanne asks,
we had a nice talk.

205
00:10:40,514 --> 00:10:41,390
Who are you?

206
00:10:41,474 --> 00:10:43,559
Oh, hey. I'm Pastor Tom.

207
00:10:43,643 --> 00:10:44,935
Where's Pastor Dave?

208
00:10:45,519 --> 00:10:47,188
Yeah, so he, uh…

209
00:10:47,688 --> 00:10:49,607
He had to take a bit of a leave,

210
00:10:49,690 --> 00:10:53,069
which… [chuckles] …was really unexpected,

211
00:10:53,152 --> 00:10:56,405
seeing as how I was surfing
the waves in Costa Rica.

212
00:10:56,489 --> 00:10:58,574
It was a mission trip. Don't judge.

213
00:10:59,283 --> 00:11:02,703
And then suddenly,
you're needed in Knoxville.

214
00:11:02,787 --> 00:11:05,331
And I was like, "Oh, no way."

215
00:11:05,414 --> 00:11:06,332
But then…

216
00:11:06,957 --> 00:11:09,543
God was like, "Yes way."

217
00:11:10,252 --> 00:11:11,504
And here we are.

218
00:11:11,587 --> 00:11:13,005
Is this a joke?

219
00:11:13,589 --> 00:11:14,507
No.

220
00:11:14,590 --> 00:11:16,884
I'm sort of like a substitute teacher.

221
00:11:16,967 --> 00:11:19,929
Substitute preacher! Oh, that is good.

222
00:11:23,140 --> 00:11:25,851
So… how can I help you?

223
00:11:25,935 --> 00:11:30,481
No offense, but substitute teachers
are usually substitutes for a reason.

224
00:11:30,564 --> 00:11:32,483
-Because they suck.
-[laughs]

225
00:11:32,566 --> 00:11:36,195
Yeah. That was a little strong,
but I get where you were going with that.

226
00:11:36,278 --> 00:11:38,280
You know, me personally,

227
00:11:38,364 --> 00:11:41,951
I just love not being stuck
in one place for a long time.

228
00:11:42,034 --> 00:11:46,455
And, you know, I get to see the world
and meet new people.

229
00:11:46,539 --> 00:11:50,501
I came to the calling late,
so it's just all an adventure for me.

230
00:11:50,584 --> 00:11:52,503
What were you doing with your life before?

231
00:11:52,586 --> 00:11:55,423
Oh, pfft, I mean,
I wanted to be Tom Petty.

232
00:11:55,506 --> 00:11:59,844
Instead, I ended up selling ink cartridges
for printers and, you know,

233
00:11:59,927 --> 00:12:01,470
blah, blah, blah.

234
00:12:02,054 --> 00:12:05,015
I always found the "blah, blah, blah"
was the best part. [chuckles]

235
00:12:05,099 --> 00:12:07,977
Well, why don't you have a seat
and we'll go blah for blah.

236
00:12:10,354 --> 00:12:11,564
[Carol clears throat]

237
00:12:16,694 --> 00:12:18,320
Hey, look, I get it.

238
00:12:18,404 --> 00:12:21,532
You're used to Pastor Dave
and not some stranger.

239
00:12:21,615 --> 00:12:24,994
No, actually, I never do this.
Ever. [chuckles]

240
00:12:25,077 --> 00:12:28,789
I'm more of a "fix your own problems
on the street" kind of gal.

241
00:12:28,873 --> 00:12:30,541
Ah.

242
00:12:30,624 --> 00:12:31,751
How's that working?

243
00:12:34,545 --> 00:12:35,921
My life has no meaning.

244
00:12:36,005 --> 00:12:37,423
[laughing] Cool!

245
00:12:41,010 --> 00:12:42,386
-Cool?
-Yeah.

246
00:12:43,345 --> 00:12:46,265
You'd be surprised how often I hear that.

247
00:12:46,348 --> 00:12:48,184
I've felt it many times myself.

248
00:12:48,267 --> 00:12:50,603
Of course, it's a lie,
but the feelings aren't.

249
00:12:50,686 --> 00:12:54,857
It's not a lie. I don't have kids.
All my relationships have failed.

250
00:12:54,940 --> 00:12:56,942
I don't have a career.
I live with my sister.

251
00:12:57,026 --> 00:13:00,154
And oh, my God,
saying this out loud is humiliating!

252
00:13:01,155 --> 00:13:03,324
You're being really
hard on yourself, all right?

253
00:13:03,407 --> 00:13:05,868
Why don't we just
take these one at a time?

254
00:13:07,620 --> 00:13:08,579
I can't do this.

255
00:13:09,163 --> 00:13:10,498
Hang on. Wait a second.

256
00:13:11,499 --> 00:13:13,667
-That was fast.
-Yeah, I'm fixed. Let's go.

257
00:13:14,752 --> 00:13:17,838
[bumper music playing]

258
00:13:22,593 --> 00:13:24,595
-Hey.
-Hey.

259
00:13:24,678 --> 00:13:26,764
-Mary made us a lemon meringue pie.
-Mm.

260
00:13:26,847 --> 00:13:28,098
It was Jerry's favorite.

261
00:13:28,182 --> 00:13:30,351
Apparently, he wants to thank us too.

262
00:13:30,434 --> 00:13:32,311
Mm. Knock yourself out.

263
00:13:32,394 --> 00:13:34,355
Oh, come on.
It's not fun eating pie alone.

264
00:13:34,438 --> 00:13:35,481
I said no.

265
00:13:36,565 --> 00:13:38,609
Okay, that's it. You're being an idiot.

266
00:13:38,692 --> 00:13:39,944
Excuse me?

267
00:13:40,027 --> 00:13:42,196
This whole "if you were gone
no one would care" thing

268
00:13:42,279 --> 00:13:43,489
is getting really old.

269
00:13:43,572 --> 00:13:46,367
You're Josie and Tyler's aunt.

270
00:13:46,450 --> 00:13:50,704
Before you want to just throw that out,
they love you, and they need you.

271
00:13:50,788 --> 00:13:53,457
And you're the one
they tell all their secrets to.

272
00:13:53,541 --> 00:13:56,252
And don't get me started
about Mom and Daddy.

273
00:13:56,335 --> 00:13:58,128
You keep them on their toes.

274
00:13:58,212 --> 00:14:00,172
Heck, you're the reason they're alive.

275
00:14:01,340 --> 00:14:03,467
And Bill may be a royal butthole,

276
00:14:03,551 --> 00:14:06,220
but you're the only sister
he's ever known.

277
00:14:07,012 --> 00:14:08,097
Are you done?

278
00:14:08,180 --> 00:14:09,557
No.

279
00:14:09,640 --> 00:14:11,016
Because most of all…

280
00:14:11,934 --> 00:14:13,018
most of all,

281
00:14:13,853 --> 00:14:17,273
if something ever happened to you,
I don't know how I would go on.

282
00:14:18,399 --> 00:14:19,859
You're my other half.

283
00:14:21,443 --> 00:14:24,321
And you think Mary's crazy with that hair?

284
00:14:24,405 --> 00:14:27,491
I would shave your head
and wear it as a wig.

285
00:14:30,035 --> 00:14:30,953
[sniffles]

286
00:14:31,745 --> 00:14:34,373
Well, it took a while,
but I knew you'd make it about you.

287
00:14:35,916 --> 00:14:36,750
[Carol sniffles]

288
00:14:38,836 --> 00:14:41,171
You're pushing my breast into this pie.

289
00:14:43,215 --> 00:14:44,717
And Jerry's loving it.

290
00:14:46,802 --> 00:14:50,973
[bumper music playing]

291
00:14:51,056 --> 00:14:52,641
[indistinct chatter]

292
00:14:52,725 --> 00:14:56,896
Why didn't you girls
tell me about your accident?

293
00:14:56,979 --> 00:14:59,189
I had to hear about it at bingo.

294
00:14:59,273 --> 00:15:01,525
We're fine, Mama.
No sense in worrying you.

295
00:15:01,609 --> 00:15:02,651
Oh…

296
00:15:04,862 --> 00:15:07,489
Why's Dad been calling me
about our burial plot?

297
00:15:08,073 --> 00:15:10,826
How would you feel about him
spending eternity up in a wall?

298
00:15:11,911 --> 00:15:14,330
I've got a baby and another on the way.

299
00:15:14,413 --> 00:15:15,956
I need simpler questions.

300
00:15:18,083 --> 00:15:19,335
Oh, my goodness.

301
00:15:19,418 --> 00:15:22,630
All the Connor boys
are wearing Jerry's suspenders.

302
00:15:22,713 --> 00:15:24,340
It's like he's here!

303
00:15:26,675 --> 00:15:29,053
See? Not garbage in a hallway.

304
00:15:32,640 --> 00:15:34,183
Who's this hippie?

305
00:15:34,975 --> 00:15:37,019
He's filling in for Pastor Dave.

306
00:15:37,102 --> 00:15:38,729
He's handsome.

307
00:15:39,229 --> 00:15:41,190
If he plays the guitar, I'm out.

308
00:15:42,858 --> 00:15:43,984
Good morning.

309
00:15:44,485 --> 00:15:46,487
Yeah, I know, not him.

310
00:15:46,987 --> 00:15:48,781
Your Pastor Dave is okay.

311
00:15:48,864 --> 00:15:51,241
Just taking a little bit of leave
to focus on his health.

312
00:15:51,325 --> 00:15:53,452
And so we'll keep him in our prayers.

313
00:15:54,036 --> 00:15:56,372
Take your time, Pastor Dave.

314
00:15:57,373 --> 00:15:59,208
Just take your time.

315
00:16:01,168 --> 00:16:03,545
I'm Pastor Tom,

316
00:16:03,629 --> 00:16:07,257
and I am your substitute preacher.

317
00:16:09,009 --> 00:16:10,511
I'm originally from Iowa,

318
00:16:11,512 --> 00:16:13,347
but I've done a lot
of moving around in my life,

319
00:16:13,430 --> 00:16:17,142
which has made planting roots hard,
so it's just me.

320
00:16:17,226 --> 00:16:19,228
And an old turtle named Anthony.

321
00:16:20,062 --> 00:16:21,730
-He's different.
-[Pastor Tom] Anyway…

322
00:16:21,814 --> 00:16:22,690
Yeah.

323
00:16:22,773 --> 00:16:24,525
Give me a chance to get to know you.

324
00:16:24,608 --> 00:16:27,194
My door is always open.

325
00:16:27,903 --> 00:16:28,821
All right!

326
00:16:29,738 --> 00:16:31,865
Let's kick this off with a song.

327
00:16:32,825 --> 00:16:37,454
I learned this
from a Mississippi Delta blues man.

328
00:16:37,538 --> 00:16:38,956
I'm no Tom Petty,

329
00:16:39,039 --> 00:16:42,042
but I played with the words,
and I'll repeat them a few times.

330
00:16:42,126 --> 00:16:43,752
I think you'll catch on.

331
00:16:43,836 --> 00:16:44,837
I'm out.

332
00:16:46,922 --> 00:16:49,633
[bumper music playing]

333
00:16:54,263 --> 00:16:55,264
[chuckles]

334
00:16:57,933 --> 00:17:00,436
As far as first sermons go,
that wasn't half bad.

335
00:17:00,519 --> 00:17:03,856
Oh, so I didn't suck? [chuckles]

336
00:17:05,190 --> 00:17:06,358
I'm sorry.

337
00:17:06,442 --> 00:17:09,028
I said that when I didn't know
you were a turtle owner.

338
00:17:09,111 --> 00:17:10,946
[laughs]

339
00:17:12,197 --> 00:17:14,742
Well, you seem a little better
than when I saw you last.

340
00:17:15,325 --> 00:17:16,326
I am.

341
00:17:17,411 --> 00:17:18,704
But I think…

342
00:17:19,329 --> 00:17:21,957
I think I'm ready to tackle
the "blah, blah, blah."

343
00:17:22,041 --> 00:17:24,376
That's what I'm barely paid for.

344
00:17:29,965 --> 00:17:30,841
[Carol clears throat]

345
00:17:33,635 --> 00:17:35,012
I don't know where to begin.

346
00:17:35,095 --> 00:17:38,140
Well, let's just start with your name.

347
00:17:41,518 --> 00:17:44,313
[bumper music playing]

348
00:17:47,232 --> 00:17:48,734
My putter's missing.

349
00:17:48,817 --> 00:17:50,277
I threw it on the roof.

350
00:17:51,612 --> 00:17:53,864
-Why?
-To try to get the rake down.

351
00:17:54,948 --> 00:17:56,283
Why was the rake on the roof?

352
00:17:56,366 --> 00:17:59,703
To get the tennis racket down.
How long you want to do this?

353
00:18:00,871 --> 00:18:02,331
I'm done. I'm done.

354
00:18:02,915 --> 00:18:04,041
Before you go,

355
00:18:05,084 --> 00:18:06,919
I've thought long and hard,

356
00:18:07,419 --> 00:18:10,380
and I've decided
to let you keep your burial plot.

357
00:18:10,464 --> 00:18:11,632
Oh.

358
00:18:11,715 --> 00:18:14,134
Well, thank you for giving me
what I already own.

359
00:18:15,719 --> 00:18:17,346
But I have one request.

360
00:18:17,429 --> 00:18:20,557
You got to make room for Carol.
She's sliding in between us.

361
00:18:20,641 --> 00:18:21,809
Ugh.

362
00:18:21,892 --> 00:18:22,726
How?

363
00:18:23,393 --> 00:18:25,187
I don't know. Side by side?

364
00:18:25,270 --> 00:18:26,396
Head to toe?

365
00:18:26,480 --> 00:18:29,066
Bury you straight down
like a couple of tent poles?

366
00:18:34,404 --> 00:18:36,573
Tell me more about this wall.

367
00:18:36,657 --> 00:18:39,827
[end bumper music playing]

368
00:18:41,954 --> 00:18:44,748
[closing theme music playing]

369
00:18:46,041 --> 00:18:51,880
♪ Leanne ♪

370
00:19:08,730 --> 00:19:13,902
♪ Leanne ♪