1
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2
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I love Sunday service, but why do I eat
like it's actually the Last Supper?

3
00:00:28,153 --> 00:00:30,947
Hey, did Pastor Dave seem off to you?

4
00:00:31,031 --> 00:00:34,034
I mean, he kind of went
into a fugue state during the sermon.

5
00:00:34,117 --> 00:00:36,244
Well, the man's 85, bless his heart.

6
00:00:36,327 --> 00:00:39,164
You try coming up
with a fresh take every Sunday.

7
00:00:39,247 --> 00:00:40,832
Hey, you want to swing by the...?

8
00:00:50,133 --> 00:00:52,010
- Are we alive?
- I think so.

9
00:00:52,093 --> 00:00:54,971
- Are you hurt?
- No. No. You?

10
00:00:55,055 --> 00:00:56,765
No, I'm good.

11
00:01:01,978 --> 00:01:03,021
Sorry!

12
00:01:12,489 --> 00:01:15,742
I pressed the brakes, but nothing happened
until your car stopped me.

13
00:01:15,825 --> 00:01:17,869
It's okay, Mary. It's not your fault.

14
00:01:17,952 --> 00:01:19,412
Yes, it is.

15
00:01:19,496 --> 00:01:21,372
And why are you driving Jerry's car?

16
00:01:21,456 --> 00:01:25,585
I only drive it on Sundays because I know
how much he loves joining me at church.

17
00:01:25,668 --> 00:01:29,422
A second sooner and we all
would have been joining Jerry in glory.

18
00:01:29,506 --> 00:01:31,549
How did we come out of this okay?

19
00:01:31,633 --> 00:01:33,593
We should all be chalk marks
on the street.

20
00:01:33,676 --> 00:01:36,054
The good Lord must have been
looking out for us.

21
00:01:36,137 --> 00:01:39,599
Well, you and me,
we were Carol's spiritual airbags.

22
00:01:40,350 --> 00:01:42,560
Am I the only one that peed a little?

23
00:01:43,686 --> 00:01:44,729
- No.
- No.

24
00:01:53,196 --> 00:01:55,949
- You couldn't sleep either?
- I'm still shaking.

25
00:01:56,032 --> 00:01:57,075
Me too.

26
00:01:58,118 --> 00:02:00,954
Andrew offered
to stay on the phone with me all night.

27
00:02:01,037 --> 00:02:02,497
Isn't that sweet?

28
00:02:03,748 --> 00:02:06,584
I tried counting sheep,
but they all looked like Mary.

29
00:02:12,507 --> 00:02:15,468
I can't stop thinking
about how we could have died.

30
00:02:15,552 --> 00:02:16,469
I know.

31
00:02:16,553 --> 00:02:18,763
My life flashed before my eyes.

32
00:02:18,847 --> 00:02:20,098
Mine too.

33
00:02:20,181 --> 00:02:22,350
I was not happy with what I saw.

34
00:02:27,564 --> 00:02:28,606
Leanne?

35
00:02:31,317 --> 00:02:33,820
I'm sorry, but mine was magnificent.

36
00:02:34,654 --> 00:02:37,031
I'm talking picture-perfect, no regrets.

37
00:02:37,115 --> 00:02:39,117
Of course it was. You're a saint.

38
00:02:39,200 --> 00:02:42,245
- Well, Carol, I wouldn't go that far.
- No, it's true.

39
00:02:42,328 --> 00:02:44,205
You've lived your life right.

40
00:02:44,289 --> 00:02:48,251
My bad karma caused the accident,
and your good karma saved us.

41
00:02:48,334 --> 00:02:50,044
I don't know about that.

42
00:02:50,128 --> 00:02:52,380
But we've been spared for a reason.

43
00:02:52,922 --> 00:02:55,049
Our job must not be done here.

44
00:02:55,800 --> 00:02:56,801
You're right.

45
00:02:57,719 --> 00:02:59,345
I have to change my ways.

46
00:03:00,263 --> 00:03:02,432
No more dark cloud Carol.

47
00:03:02,515 --> 00:03:05,768
From now on,
nothing but kindness, service.

48
00:03:05,852 --> 00:03:07,270
No more making fun of people.

49
00:03:07,353 --> 00:03:08,855
Starting right now!

50
00:03:09,856 --> 00:03:12,275
Maybe we should check on Mary.
She's gotta be rattled too.

51
00:03:12,358 --> 00:03:15,570
Hell no, that ginger assassin
almost killed us!

52
00:03:22,202 --> 00:03:23,536
Okay, starting now.

53
00:03:31,336 --> 00:03:32,879
Well, what's all this?

54
00:03:32,962 --> 00:03:35,632
I woke up early to make you breakfast.

55
00:03:35,715 --> 00:03:38,635
Project Good Deeds
is off to a greasy start.

56
00:03:40,136 --> 00:03:43,014
Well, thank you,
nice lady in Carol's skin.

57
00:03:46,142 --> 00:03:47,268
Hey.

58
00:03:47,352 --> 00:03:49,938
- What are you doing here?
- Tyler told me about the accident.

59
00:03:50,021 --> 00:03:53,358
- I wanted to see if you were okay.
- Thank you, but we're fine.

60
00:03:53,441 --> 00:03:55,026
Hey, big guy. You hungry?

61
00:03:57,695 --> 00:03:58,988
She hit her head?

62
00:04:00,698 --> 00:04:02,659
Better. She hit her heart.

63
00:04:03,660 --> 00:04:05,036
Pretty small target.

64
00:04:07,789 --> 00:04:09,832
Come on, give me your best.

65
00:04:09,916 --> 00:04:11,918
My nose looks like a can opener.

66
00:04:12,001 --> 00:04:14,003
My arms dangle like a puppet.

67
00:04:14,087 --> 00:04:17,090
I look like a rubber chicken.
But meaner, you know, 'cause it's you.

68
00:04:18,508 --> 00:04:20,551
Bill, who hurt you?

69
00:04:22,345 --> 00:04:23,346
You.

70
00:04:25,515 --> 00:04:26,766
I like the new Carol.

71
00:04:26,849 --> 00:04:28,851
I don't. It's deeply unsettling.

72
00:04:30,603 --> 00:04:33,314
Staring down death can change a person.

73
00:04:33,398 --> 00:04:35,441
It certainly puts things in perspective.

74
00:04:36,484 --> 00:04:39,904
You're breaking things off
with Agent J. Edgar Loser?

75
00:04:40,697 --> 00:04:43,950
No, I'm very happy in my relationship,
thank you.

76
00:04:44,033 --> 00:04:47,704
If he's so great,
why isn't he here comforting you like me?

77
00:04:48,246 --> 00:04:51,374
There is nothing comforting about this.

78
00:04:53,835 --> 00:04:57,797
But my close call has had me thinking
about loose ends that need tidying up.

79
00:04:57,880 --> 00:04:59,799
Want me to get my golf clubs
out of the garage?

80
00:04:59,882 --> 00:05:03,886
No, I want you to get
your future corpse out of our burial plot.

81
00:05:05,680 --> 00:05:08,308
I bought those plots for our anniversary.

82
00:05:12,395 --> 00:05:14,480
And as romantic as that was…

83
00:05:16,607 --> 00:05:20,320
things have changed, and I no longer
want to spend eternity lying next to you.

84
00:05:20,903 --> 00:05:23,573
Where am I supposed to go?
I want to be near the kids.

85
00:05:23,656 --> 00:05:26,534
Why don't we tuck you up
into one of those walls

86
00:05:26,617 --> 00:05:29,162
with a nice view of the rest of us?

87
00:05:30,163 --> 00:05:33,624
No, I have every right
to rot underground with my family.

88
00:05:33,708 --> 00:05:35,335
I knew you'd have an attitude.

89
00:05:35,918 --> 00:05:38,880
Well, if it's so groovy over on the wall,
why don't you go there?

90
00:05:39,464 --> 00:05:41,674
Because I birthed
and breastfed these children.

91
00:05:41,758 --> 00:05:44,886
Well… I breastfed our mortgage.

92
00:05:45,386 --> 00:05:49,766
Well, when I was dilated nine centimeters,
you were eating a bag of pork rinds.

93
00:05:51,726 --> 00:05:53,394
This is not a fair fight.

94
00:05:56,773 --> 00:05:59,192
All right, I've updated
all my health insurance documents.

95
00:05:59,275 --> 00:06:02,862
Bill is officially out,
and you are now my emergency contact.

96
00:06:02,945 --> 00:06:05,448
Ooh! That goes in Carol's good file.

97
00:06:06,032 --> 00:06:08,576
- It really doesn't work that way.
- It does for me.

98
00:06:08,659 --> 00:06:10,161
Rack it, big guy.

99
00:06:11,204 --> 00:06:14,874
You know, I don't want to say I'm glad
this accident happened, but I kind of am.

100
00:06:14,957 --> 00:06:17,168
- We're making positive changes.
- Yeah.

101
00:06:17,251 --> 00:06:19,754
I'm finding
all sorts of ways to give back.

102
00:06:19,837 --> 00:06:20,755
Check it out.

103
00:06:20,838 --> 00:06:24,509
I'm one PayPal click away
from adopting a gorilla.

104
00:06:27,053 --> 00:06:28,638
His name's Kamandi.

105
00:06:28,721 --> 00:06:31,391
They send you a picture every month,
some of his artwork.

106
00:06:31,474 --> 00:06:33,601
He likes to finger paint.

107
00:06:34,268 --> 00:06:36,187
We're not putting those on our fridge.

108
00:06:40,149 --> 00:06:41,526
Mary, what's wrong?

109
00:06:41,609 --> 00:06:43,152
Well, the mechanic called.

110
00:06:43,236 --> 00:06:48,032
Jerry's car is totaled and they're gonna
smash it into one of those little cubes.

111
00:06:48,116 --> 00:06:50,618
Mary, come here.

112
00:06:51,786 --> 00:06:54,080
It's okay. Carol's different now.

113
00:06:56,791 --> 00:07:00,586
When I drove that car,
it felt like I was sitting in Jerry's lap.

114
00:07:00,670 --> 00:07:02,922
Let's get you inside.

115
00:07:04,090 --> 00:07:05,758
You see that? All love.

116
00:07:08,594 --> 00:07:12,014
I just can't imagine life
without Jerry's car.

117
00:07:13,182 --> 00:07:16,352
The car may be gone, but you'll always
have your sweet memories.

118
00:07:16,436 --> 00:07:20,440
Thank goodness I still have all
his stuff at home, right where he left it.

119
00:07:21,023 --> 00:07:25,486
His robe, his toothbrush,
his comb with his hair in it.

120
00:07:26,779 --> 00:07:29,615
It's been seven years, Mary.
You've never cleared anything out?

121
00:07:29,699 --> 00:07:31,868
No. That would make me feel lonely.

122
00:07:32,493 --> 00:07:35,538
Maybe being reminded of him
makes you feel worse.

123
00:07:35,621 --> 00:07:36,914
Let me take a crack at this.

124
00:07:37,623 --> 00:07:40,710
I had a cat named Whiskers
because she didn't have any.

125
00:07:40,793 --> 00:07:44,338
She came to me that way.
I have theories, but I'm digressing.

126
00:07:44,422 --> 00:07:45,465
May I step in?

127
00:07:45,548 --> 00:07:46,966
No, my crack.

128
00:07:47,049 --> 00:07:48,968
Anyway, when Whiskers died,

129
00:07:49,051 --> 00:07:51,345
I couldn't bring myself
to throw away her bowl.

130
00:07:51,429 --> 00:07:53,848
But then I finally did,
and now it's like, who cares?

131
00:07:56,017 --> 00:07:58,019
Carol's new at comforting.

132
00:07:59,604 --> 00:08:03,191
You know, we have found that this accident
has been an opportunity for change.

133
00:08:03,274 --> 00:08:05,026
I don't care for change.

134
00:08:05,526 --> 00:08:08,988
Well, I think Jerry's car
being taken from you is the first step.

135
00:08:09,071 --> 00:08:13,034
Now you're ready to let go of the rest,
hair in a comb and all.

136
00:08:13,868 --> 00:08:16,621
I've tried to do it,
but I just can't face it alone.

137
00:08:16,704 --> 00:08:17,830
I'll help.

138
00:08:17,914 --> 00:08:18,998
We'll both help.

139
00:08:19,081 --> 00:08:20,291
Yeah, but I said it first.

140
00:08:20,958 --> 00:08:21,792
You… You will?

141
00:08:21,876 --> 00:08:22,876
Of course.

142
00:08:25,421 --> 00:08:26,964
This is gonna be a thing now.

143
00:08:30,718 --> 00:08:33,346
What is Jerry's shoehorn telling you?

144
00:08:34,347 --> 00:08:36,140
I know this is taking long,

145
00:08:36,224 --> 00:08:40,645
but I really appreciate your patience
as I walk through the land of Jerry.

146
00:08:41,771 --> 00:08:42,813
Donate.

147
00:08:43,564 --> 00:08:45,566
See? There you go.

148
00:08:45,650 --> 00:08:48,486
Okay, now how about
we tackle this sock drawer?

149
00:08:49,570 --> 00:08:51,864
I'm gonna need a breather.
I'll be right back.

150
00:08:54,867 --> 00:08:57,537
I did not know
what we were signing up for.

151
00:08:58,120 --> 00:09:01,666
I knew we were in trouble
when she wept over his mouth guard.

152
00:09:03,334 --> 00:09:04,334
Yeah.

153
00:09:05,503 --> 00:09:08,798
But we're being of service,
and we can feel good about that.

154
00:09:08,881 --> 00:09:09,882
Sure.

155
00:09:11,592 --> 00:09:12,760
What's wrong?

156
00:09:13,427 --> 00:09:15,346
If we had died in that accident,

157
00:09:15,429 --> 00:09:18,307
someone would be looking through
our stuff like this.

158
00:09:18,391 --> 00:09:19,559
I know.

159
00:09:19,642 --> 00:09:22,895
The idea of Josie and Tyler
grieving over my belongings,

160
00:09:22,979 --> 00:09:24,272
it just breaks my heart.

161
00:09:24,355 --> 00:09:25,565
No, but that's just it.

162
00:09:25,648 --> 00:09:28,442
At least you have people
who'd care about your stuff.

163
00:09:28,526 --> 00:09:31,404
My life has
no sentimental value to anyone.

164
00:09:31,487 --> 00:09:32,530
That's not true.

165
00:09:32,613 --> 00:09:35,408
It is true, and I feel so stupid

166
00:09:35,491 --> 00:09:39,245
for trying to cram through good deeds
to give my life purpose.

167
00:09:39,328 --> 00:09:40,746
Carol, don't say that.

168
00:09:40,830 --> 00:09:44,375
Please. No one's gonna be crying
over my Waterpik.

169
00:09:48,087 --> 00:09:49,171
All right, I'm back.

170
00:09:49,255 --> 00:09:50,255
Great.

171
00:09:50,298 --> 00:09:52,883
Jerry's suspenders, in or out? I say out.

172
00:09:54,427 --> 00:09:57,263
- I didn't get to hold them.
- We're done with that. Next!

173
00:10:03,269 --> 00:10:04,478
Sorry, Jerry.

174
00:10:04,562 --> 00:10:07,898
In the end, we're all just
garbage bags in a hallway.

175
00:10:08,482 --> 00:10:12,653
I never thought we'd get that comb of hair
out of her tiny little praying hands.

176
00:10:13,154 --> 00:10:15,114
It's all so depressing.

177
00:10:15,698 --> 00:10:18,159
You know, Pastor Dave
is on the other side of that door.

178
00:10:18,242 --> 00:10:20,286
Why don't you go
and have a little talk with him?

179
00:10:20,369 --> 00:10:21,662
Why? I'm fine.

180
00:10:22,246 --> 00:10:24,540
There's a psychological term
for people like you.

181
00:10:24,624 --> 00:10:26,792
It's called "help-resistant complainer."

182
00:10:28,419 --> 00:10:30,546
Either become a shrink or shut up.

183
00:10:36,594 --> 00:10:39,805
Pastor Dave, if Leanne asks,
we had a nice talk.

184
00:10:40,514 --> 00:10:41,390
Who are you?

185
00:10:41,474 --> 00:10:43,559
Hey. I'm Pastor Tom.

186
00:10:43,643 --> 00:10:44,935
Where's Pastor Dave?

187
00:10:45,519 --> 00:10:47,188
Yeah, so he…

188
00:10:47,688 --> 00:10:49,607
He had to take a bit of a leave,

189
00:10:49,690 --> 00:10:53,069
which… …was really unexpected,

190
00:10:53,152 --> 00:10:56,405
seeing as how I was surfing
the waves in Costa Rica.

191
00:10:56,489 --> 00:10:58,574
It was a mission trip. Don't judge.

192
00:10:59,283 --> 00:11:02,703
And then suddenly,
you're needed in Knoxville.

193
00:11:02,787 --> 00:11:05,331
And I was like, "no way."

194
00:11:05,414 --> 00:11:06,414
But then…

195
00:11:06,957 --> 00:11:09,543
God was like, "Yes way."

196
00:11:10,252 --> 00:11:11,504
And here we are.

197
00:11:11,587 --> 00:11:13,005
Is this a joke?

198
00:11:13,589 --> 00:11:14,507
No.

199
00:11:14,590 --> 00:11:16,884
I'm sort of like a substitute teacher.

200
00:11:16,967 --> 00:11:19,929
Substitute preacher! That is good.

201
00:11:23,140 --> 00:11:25,851
So… how can I help you?

202
00:11:25,935 --> 00:11:30,481
No offense, but substitute teachers
are usually substitutes for a reason.

203
00:11:30,564 --> 00:11:32,483
Because they suck.

204
00:11:32,566 --> 00:11:36,195
Yeah. That was a little strong,
but I get where you were going with that.

205
00:11:36,278 --> 00:11:38,280
You know, me personally,

206
00:11:38,364 --> 00:11:41,951
I just love not being stuck
in one place for a long time.

207
00:11:42,034 --> 00:11:46,455
And, you know, I get to see the world
and meet new people.

208
00:11:46,539 --> 00:11:50,501
I came to the calling late,
so it's just all an adventure for me.

209
00:11:50,584 --> 00:11:52,503
What were you doing with your life before?

210
00:11:52,586 --> 00:11:55,423
Pfft, I mean,
I wanted to be Tom Petty.

211
00:11:55,506 --> 00:11:59,844
Instead, I ended up selling ink cartridges
for printers and, you know,

212
00:11:59,927 --> 00:12:01,470
blah, blah, blah.

213
00:12:02,054 --> 00:12:05,015
I always found the "blah, blah, blah"
was the best part.

214
00:12:05,099 --> 00:12:07,977
Well, why don't you have a seat
and we'll go blah for blah.

215
00:12:16,694 --> 00:12:18,320
Hey, look, I get it.

216
00:12:18,404 --> 00:12:21,532
You're used to Pastor Dave
and not some stranger.

217
00:12:21,615 --> 00:12:24,994
No, actually, I never do this.
Ever.

218
00:12:25,077 --> 00:12:28,789
I'm more of a "fix your own problems
on the street" kind of gal.

219
00:12:30,624 --> 00:12:31,751
How's that working?

220
00:12:34,545 --> 00:12:35,921
My life has no meaning.

221
00:12:36,005 --> 00:12:37,423
Cool!

222
00:12:41,010 --> 00:12:42,386
- Cool?
- Yeah.

223
00:12:43,345 --> 00:12:46,265
You'd be surprised how often I hear that.

224
00:12:46,348 --> 00:12:48,184
I've felt it many times myself.

225
00:12:48,267 --> 00:12:50,603
Of course, it's a lie,
but the feelings aren't.

226
00:12:50,686 --> 00:12:54,857
It's not a lie. I don't have kids.
All my relationships have failed.

227
00:12:54,940 --> 00:12:56,942
I don't have a career.
I live with my sister.

228
00:12:57,026 --> 00:13:00,154
And my God,
saying this out loud is humiliating!

229
00:13:01,155 --> 00:13:03,324
You're being really
hard on yourself, all right?

230
00:13:03,407 --> 00:13:05,868
Why don't we just
take these one at a time?

231
00:13:07,620 --> 00:13:08,620
I can't do this.

232
00:13:09,163 --> 00:13:10,498
Hang on. Wait a second.

233
00:13:11,499 --> 00:13:13,667
- That was fast.
- Yeah, I'm fixed. Let's go.

234
00:13:22,593 --> 00:13:24,595
- Hey.
- Hey.

235
00:13:24,678 --> 00:13:26,764
Mary made us a lemon meringue pie.

236
00:13:26,847 --> 00:13:28,098
It was Jerry's favorite.

237
00:13:28,182 --> 00:13:30,351
Apparently, he wants to thank us too.

238
00:13:30,434 --> 00:13:32,311
Knock yourself out.

239
00:13:32,394 --> 00:13:34,355
Come on.
It's not fun eating pie alone.

240
00:13:34,438 --> 00:13:35,481
I said no.

241
00:13:36,565 --> 00:13:38,609
Okay, that's it. You're being an idiot.

242
00:13:38,692 --> 00:13:39,944
Excuse me?

243
00:13:40,027 --> 00:13:42,196
This whole "if you were gone
no one would care" thing

244
00:13:42,279 --> 00:13:43,489
is getting really old.

245
00:13:43,572 --> 00:13:46,367
You're Josie and Tyler's aunt.

246
00:13:46,450 --> 00:13:50,704
Before you want to just throw that out,
they love you, and they need you.

247
00:13:50,788 --> 00:13:53,457
And you're the one
they tell all their secrets to.

248
00:13:53,541 --> 00:13:56,252
And don't get me started
about Mom and Daddy.

249
00:13:56,335 --> 00:13:58,128
You keep them on their toes.

250
00:13:58,212 --> 00:14:00,172
Heck, you're the reason they're alive.

251
00:14:01,340 --> 00:14:03,467
And Bill may be a royal butthole,

252
00:14:03,551 --> 00:14:06,220
but you're the only sister
he's ever known.

253
00:14:07,012 --> 00:14:08,097
Are you done?

254
00:14:08,180 --> 00:14:09,557
No.

255
00:14:09,640 --> 00:14:11,016
Because most of all…

256
00:14:11,934 --> 00:14:13,018
most of all,

257
00:14:13,853 --> 00:14:17,273
if something ever happened to you,
I don't know how I would go on.

258
00:14:18,399 --> 00:14:19,859
You're my other half.

259
00:14:21,443 --> 00:14:24,321
And you think Mary's crazy with that hair?

260
00:14:24,405 --> 00:14:27,491
I would shave your head
and wear it as a wig.

261
00:14:31,745 --> 00:14:34,373
Well, it took a while,
but I knew you'd make it about you.

262
00:14:38,836 --> 00:14:41,171
You're pushing my breast into this pie.

263
00:14:43,215 --> 00:14:44,717
And Jerry's loving it.

264
00:14:52,725 --> 00:14:56,896
Why didn't you girls
tell me about your accident?

265
00:14:56,979 --> 00:14:59,189
I had to hear about it at bingo.

266
00:14:59,273 --> 00:15:01,525
We're fine, Mama.
No sense in worrying you.

267
00:15:04,862 --> 00:15:07,489
Why's Dad been calling me
about our burial plot?

268
00:15:08,073 --> 00:15:10,826
How would you feel about him
spending eternity up in a wall?

269
00:15:11,911 --> 00:15:14,330
I've got a baby and another on the way.

270
00:15:14,413 --> 00:15:15,956
I need simpler questions.

271
00:15:18,083 --> 00:15:19,335
My goodness.

272
00:15:19,418 --> 00:15:22,630
All the Connor boys
are wearing Jerry's suspenders.

273
00:15:22,713 --> 00:15:24,340
It's like he's here!

274
00:15:26,675 --> 00:15:29,053
See? Not garbage in a hallway.

275
00:15:32,640 --> 00:15:34,183
Who's this hippie?

276
00:15:34,975 --> 00:15:37,019
He's filling in for Pastor Dave.

277
00:15:37,102 --> 00:15:38,729
He's handsome.

278
00:15:39,229 --> 00:15:41,190
If he plays the guitar, I'm out.

279
00:15:42,858 --> 00:15:43,984
Good morning.

280
00:15:44,485 --> 00:15:46,487
Yeah, I know, not him.

281
00:15:46,987 --> 00:15:48,781
Your Pastor Dave is okay.

282
00:15:48,864 --> 00:15:51,241
Just taking a little bit of leave
to focus on his health.

283
00:15:51,325 --> 00:15:53,452
And so we'll keep him in our prayers.

284
00:15:54,036 --> 00:15:56,372
Take your time, Pastor Dave.

285
00:15:57,373 --> 00:15:59,208
Just take your time.

286
00:16:01,168 --> 00:16:03,545
I'm Pastor Tom,

287
00:16:03,629 --> 00:16:07,257
and I am your substitute preacher.

288
00:16:09,009 --> 00:16:10,511
I'm originally from Iowa,

289
00:16:11,512 --> 00:16:13,424
but I've done a lot
of moving around in my life,

290
00:16:13,430 --> 00:16:17,142
which has made planting roots hard,
so it's just me.

291
00:16:17,226 --> 00:16:19,228
And an old turtle named Anthony.

292
00:16:20,062 --> 00:16:21,730
- He's different.
- Anyway…

293
00:16:21,814 --> 00:16:22,690
Yeah.

294
00:16:22,773 --> 00:16:24,525
Give me a chance to get to know you.

295
00:16:24,608 --> 00:16:27,194
My door is always open.

296
00:16:27,903 --> 00:16:28,903
All right!

297
00:16:29,738 --> 00:16:31,865
Let's kick this off with a song.

298
00:16:32,825 --> 00:16:37,454
I learned this
from a Mississippi Delta blues man.

299
00:16:37,538 --> 00:16:38,956
I'm no Tom Petty,

300
00:16:39,039 --> 00:16:42,042
but I played with the words,
and I'll repeat them a few times.

301
00:16:42,126 --> 00:16:43,752
I think you'll catch on.

302
00:16:43,836 --> 00:16:44,837
I'm out.

303
00:16:57,933 --> 00:17:00,436
As far as first sermons go,
that wasn't half bad.

304
00:17:00,519 --> 00:17:03,856
So I didn't suck?

305
00:17:05,190 --> 00:17:06,358
I'm sorry.

306
00:17:06,442 --> 00:17:09,028
I said that when I didn't know
you were a turtle owner.

307
00:17:12,197 --> 00:17:14,742
Well, you seem a little better
than when I saw you last.

308
00:17:15,325 --> 00:17:16,326
I am.

309
00:17:17,411 --> 00:17:18,704
But I think…

310
00:17:19,329 --> 00:17:21,957
I think I'm ready to tackle
the "blah, blah, blah."

311
00:17:22,041 --> 00:17:24,376
That's what I'm barely paid for.

312
00:17:33,635 --> 00:17:35,012
I don't know where to begin.

313
00:17:35,095 --> 00:17:38,140
Well, let's just start with your name.

314
00:17:47,232 --> 00:17:48,734
My putter's missing.

315
00:17:48,817 --> 00:17:50,277
I threw it on the roof.

316
00:17:51,612 --> 00:17:53,864
- Why?
- To try to get the rake down.

317
00:17:54,948 --> 00:17:56,283
Why was the rake on the roof?

318
00:17:56,366 --> 00:17:59,703
To get the tennis racket down.
How long you want to do this?

319
00:18:00,871 --> 00:18:02,331
I'm done. I'm done.

320
00:18:02,915 --> 00:18:04,041
Before you go,

321
00:18:05,084 --> 00:18:06,919
I've thought long and hard,

322
00:18:07,419 --> 00:18:10,380
and I've decided
to let you keep your burial plot.

323
00:18:11,715 --> 00:18:14,134
Well, thank you for giving me
what I already own.

324
00:18:15,719 --> 00:18:17,346
But I have one request.

325
00:18:17,429 --> 00:18:20,557
You got to make room for Carol.
She's sliding in between us.

326
00:18:21,892 --> 00:18:22,892
How?

327
00:18:23,393 --> 00:18:25,187
I don't know. Side by side?

328
00:18:25,270 --> 00:18:26,396
Head to toe?

329
00:18:26,480 --> 00:18:29,066
Bury you straight down
like a couple of tent poles?

330
00:18:34,404 --> 00:18:36,573
Tell me more about this wall.

330
00:18:37,305 --> 00:19:37,826
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