1
00:00:00,834 --> 00:00:07,841
Honestly, Mr. Boynton, I couldn't
believe it when Mrs. Davis told me.

2
00:00:09,000 --> 00:00:15,074
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3
00:00:20,062 --> 00:00:21,438
Well, it's true, Miss Brooks.

4
00:00:21,563 --> 00:00:22,105
At 3 p.m.

5
00:00:22,231 --> 00:00:25,734
today, Mr. Coughlin was
going to jump off the school roof.

6
00:00:25,859 --> 00:00:28,153
That's right here.

7
00:00:28,278 --> 00:00:30,197
Story made quite a splash.

8
00:00:30,322 --> 00:00:33,367
So will Mr. Conklin.

9
00:00:33,492 --> 00:00:34,368
What's it all about?

10
00:00:34,493 --> 00:00:37,162
I'll read you something.

11
00:00:37,287 --> 00:00:40,582
As the highlight of today's civil
defense program at Madison High,

12
00:00:40,707 --> 00:00:44,753
Principal Osgood Conklin will
leap off the roof into a fireman's net.

13
00:00:44,878 --> 00:00:46,296
Oh, that's terrible.

14
00:00:46,421 --> 00:00:50,008
He might not miss the net.

15
00:00:50,133 --> 00:00:54,888
I mean, it just goes to prove that he'll
do anything to get his name in the papers.

16
00:00:55,013 --> 00:00:57,766
Now, Miss Brooks, you mustn't
belittle Mr. Conklin's courage.

17
00:00:57,891 --> 00:01:00,769
After all, you wouldn't care
to make the leap, would you?

18
00:01:00,894 --> 00:01:04,231
Well, just give me a
chance to get my trousseau

19
00:01:04,356 --> 00:01:07,859
together and I'll... Oh,
you mean off the roof.

20
00:01:09,528 --> 00:01:12,781
Oh, I can think of simpler
ways to stunt my growth.

21
00:01:12,906 --> 00:01:17,619
I guess it was a pretty unfair
question to put to a woman at that.

22
00:01:17,744 --> 00:01:20,956
When it comes to matters
of physical bravery...

23
00:01:21,081 --> 00:01:24,751
Miss Brooks, did you hear
something click just then?

24
00:01:26,086 --> 00:01:27,337
Yes, I did.

25
00:01:28,672 --> 00:01:32,009
This phone has an extension
in the dinette, Mr. Boynton.

26
00:01:32,134 --> 00:01:34,052
Maybe Mrs. Davis
lifted the receiver.

27
00:01:34,177 --> 00:01:41,184
That's a dirty lie!

28
00:01:47,316 --> 00:01:47,691
Hold on a minute.

29
00:01:47,816 --> 00:01:50,861
Connie, I didn't want
Mr. Boynton to know I was

30
00:01:50,986 --> 00:01:55,198
eavesdropping, but you
don't mind if I listen in, do you?

31
00:01:55,324 --> 00:01:59,369
No, but don't
invite anybody else.

32
00:01:59,494 --> 00:02:00,829
It was nothing, Mr. Boynton.

33
00:02:00,954 --> 00:02:01,747
Now, what were you saying?

34
00:02:01,872 --> 00:02:04,666
I said that in matters
of bravery, it's only

35
00:02:04,791 --> 00:02:08,045
natural that men should
rate above the weaker sex.

36
00:02:08,170 --> 00:02:10,881
Why, that's an
insult to womanhood.

37
00:02:11,006 --> 00:02:13,008
Don't let him get
away with it, Connie.

38
00:02:13,133 --> 00:02:15,761
Now, let's not have an
argument, Mrs. Davis.

39
00:02:15,886 --> 00:02:17,637
It isn't that important.

40
00:02:17,763 --> 00:02:21,183
I can't quite understand the point
you're trying to make, Mr. Boynton.

41
00:02:21,308 --> 00:02:25,979
It's just that women can't be expected
to do the same things men can do.

42
00:02:26,104 --> 00:02:28,106
Who says they can't, frog boy?

43
00:02:28,231 --> 00:02:30,233
Huh?

44
00:02:31,860 --> 00:02:32,944
That's right, dear.

45
00:02:33,070 --> 00:02:34,821
Give him both barrels.

46
00:02:34,946 --> 00:02:37,949
Are you implying that
women are lacking in courage?

47
00:02:38,075 --> 00:02:39,409
Well, I didn't exactly say that.

48
00:02:39,534 --> 00:02:42,746
I heard it with my own ears.

49
00:02:44,122 --> 00:02:46,208
Is that you, Mrs. Davis?

50
00:02:46,333 --> 00:02:48,126
Never mind Mrs. Davis.

51
00:02:48,251 --> 00:02:51,004
Are you hinting that
all women are cowards?

52
00:02:51,129 --> 00:02:53,882
If that's what
you think, say it.

53
00:02:54,007 --> 00:02:58,011
All women are
lily-livered cowards.

54
00:02:59,054 --> 00:03:00,347
Now, really.

55
00:03:00,472 --> 00:03:02,099
Now, let me tell you
something, Mr. Boynton.

56
00:03:02,224 --> 00:03:04,851
You can't call me a lily-livered
coward and get away with it.

57
00:03:04,976 --> 00:03:08,855
Not you or anybody else.

58
00:03:08,980 --> 00:03:10,065
Hello?

59
00:03:10,190 --> 00:03:10,941
Hello?

60
00:03:11,066 --> 00:03:12,109
What happened?

61
00:03:12,234 --> 00:03:15,070
She hung up on you.

62
00:03:15,195 --> 00:03:16,363
Oh, she did?

63
00:03:16,488 --> 00:03:17,614
Well, let me tell you something.

64
00:03:17,739 --> 00:03:20,200
She'll never hang
up on me again.

65
00:03:20,325 --> 00:03:25,705
That's what you think.

66
00:03:25,831 --> 00:03:29,000
He sounds like he has a
corner on the bravery market.

67
00:03:29,126 --> 00:03:31,670
I'd just like to call
his bluff sometime.

68
00:03:31,795 --> 00:03:36,091
Yeah, so would I. I bet he wouldn't
make that leap for a million dollars.

69
00:03:36,216 --> 00:03:39,928
Frankly, I didn't think Osgood
Conklin would have the nerve.

70
00:03:40,053 --> 00:03:42,848
Where in the world did
he ever get the idea?

71
00:03:42,973 --> 00:03:45,892
Well, I imagine it was
from the Flying Phelan.

72
00:03:46,017 --> 00:03:49,563
A group of us caught their daredevil
act at the circus the other night.

73
00:03:49,688 --> 00:03:51,481
The Flying Phelans?

74
00:03:51,606 --> 00:03:52,983
What do they do, dear?

75
00:03:53,108 --> 00:03:55,861
Well, after climbing a
50-foot ladder, Mr. Phelan

76
00:03:55,986 --> 00:03:58,947
dives into a tank of water
covered with flaming oil.

77
00:03:59,072 --> 00:04:00,699
Oh.

78
00:04:00,824 --> 00:04:03,118
That is, he doesn't
exactly dive.

79
00:04:03,243 --> 00:04:06,329
Mrs. Phelan pushes him.

80
00:04:06,455 --> 00:04:07,497
Mrs. Phelan?

81
00:04:07,622 --> 00:04:08,623
His wife?

82
00:04:08,748 --> 00:04:13,211
Well, who else would want to
push a man into a flaming tank?

83
00:04:13,336 --> 00:04:15,881
It's a very entertaining
act, Mrs. Davis.

84
00:04:16,006 --> 00:04:19,551
You see, they're both
dressed as hobos, as pranks.

85
00:04:19,676 --> 00:04:24,764
Oh, excuse me, that
must be Walter Denton.

86
00:04:24,890 --> 00:04:25,265
Hello, Walter.

87
00:04:25,390 --> 00:04:25,932
Come in.

88
00:04:26,057 --> 00:04:26,892
Read all about it.

89
00:04:27,017 --> 00:04:32,022
Our beloved principal's going
to hurl himself off the school roof.

90
00:04:32,147 --> 00:04:33,315
Yes, we know.

91
00:04:33,440 --> 00:04:35,442
He's diving into
a fireman's net.

92
00:04:35,567 --> 00:04:36,651
Yeah.

93
00:04:36,776 --> 00:04:42,449
Oh, wouldn't it be awful if something
happened and the net broke?

94
00:04:42,574 --> 00:04:45,327
Walter, you mustn't
think such things.

95
00:04:45,452 --> 00:04:49,831
There isn't the slightest chance
of anything happening to that net.

96
00:04:49,956 --> 00:04:50,957
Killjoy?

97
00:04:52,667 --> 00:04:55,879
Hey, what do you think made the old
buzzard decide to pull a stunt like this?

98
00:04:56,004 --> 00:04:57,047
Oh, that's easy, Walter.

99
00:04:57,172 --> 00:04:59,925
You know how
Mr. Conklin loves publicity.

100
00:05:00,050 --> 00:05:01,718
Well, we'd better
be getting to school.

101
00:05:01,843 --> 00:05:02,177
No!

102
00:05:02,302 --> 00:05:03,887
No, it's more than
publicity, Miss Brooks.

103
00:05:04,012 --> 00:05:06,264
I'm afraid I'll have to go
along with Mr. Boynton.

104
00:05:06,389 --> 00:05:07,432
Mr. Boynton?

105
00:05:07,557 --> 00:05:10,393
Yeah, I called him about 20
minutes ago to break the news about

106
00:05:10,519 --> 00:05:13,355
old Marblehead, and Mr. Boynton
said that it proved one thing.

107
00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:16,816
That in spite of the danger involved,
even a Mr. Conklin will respond

108
00:05:16,942 --> 00:05:20,487
to that noble quality of courage
that is inherent in all male animals.

109
00:05:22,989 --> 00:05:25,033
Only males?

110
00:05:26,076 --> 00:05:33,041
What other kind of
animals are there?

111
00:05:35,502 --> 00:05:36,169
♪

112
00:05:36,294 --> 00:05:38,338
Oh, now, please, Mother.

113
00:05:38,463 --> 00:05:42,342
When Daddy leaps off the roof,
absolutely nothing can happen to him.

114
00:05:42,467 --> 00:05:44,219
But not with the
protection he's wearing.

115
00:05:44,344 --> 00:05:48,348
Now, you take it easy
and stop worrying.

116
00:05:48,473 --> 00:05:49,849
Bye, Mother.

117
00:05:54,604 --> 00:05:56,481
Bye, Daddy.

118
00:05:56,606 --> 00:05:58,400
Mother's awfully
worried about you.

119
00:05:58,525 --> 00:06:00,402
She just hung up on the phone.

120
00:06:00,527 --> 00:06:05,073
I didn't know your mother
ever hung up the phone.

121
00:06:05,198 --> 00:06:07,826
Well, there's no cause
for concern, Harriet.

122
00:06:07,951 --> 00:06:11,413
I don't intend to make
that suicidal leap anyway.

123
00:06:11,538 --> 00:06:12,664
You don't?

124
00:06:12,789 --> 00:06:14,416
When did you decide not to?

125
00:06:14,541 --> 00:06:19,212
Five minutes ago, when I
peeked over the edge of the roof.

126
00:06:19,337 --> 00:06:23,133
Jumping from heights like
that is strictly for the birds.

127
00:06:23,258 --> 00:06:26,261
Oh, well.

128
00:06:26,386 --> 00:06:29,598
Sick transit, Gloria Mundi.

129
00:06:29,723 --> 00:06:30,807
What does that mean?

130
00:06:30,932 --> 00:06:34,686
It means your old
man is chicken.

131
00:06:37,814 --> 00:06:40,609
But Daddy, the newspapers are
sending photographers over here

132
00:06:40,734 --> 00:06:43,445
this afternoon and there'll be
hundreds of people watching.

133
00:06:43,570 --> 00:06:46,990
Barring any unforeseen
accident, they'll expect you to jump.

134
00:06:47,115 --> 00:06:53,622
Nevertheless, I have... Barring
any unforeseen accident, you say?

135
00:06:53,747 --> 00:06:56,249
Of course.

136
00:06:56,374 --> 00:06:59,961
If I were injured beforehand,
they couldn't expect me.

137
00:07:00,086 --> 00:07:01,254
Who is it?

138
00:07:01,379 --> 00:07:02,881
Miss Brooks.

139
00:07:03,006 --> 00:07:06,760
My unforeseen accident.

140
00:07:06,885 --> 00:07:08,678
One moment, please.

141
00:07:08,803 --> 00:07:09,929
You're leaving, Harriet?

142
00:07:10,055 --> 00:07:12,057
Well, yes, but... To
my inner office, please.

143
00:07:12,182 --> 00:07:12,974
Hurry on the double.

144
00:07:13,099 --> 00:07:13,600
Go, go.

145
00:07:13,725 --> 00:07:14,351
Yes, bye.

146
00:07:14,476 --> 00:07:16,227
Yes, bye.

147
00:07:16,353 --> 00:07:18,188
Come in, please.

148
00:07:19,314 --> 00:07:21,483
Good morning, Mr. Conklin.

149
00:07:21,608 --> 00:07:25,945
Why, you look just
like Captain Video.

150
00:07:27,030 --> 00:07:27,447
What?

151
00:07:27,572 --> 00:07:28,490
Captain.

152
00:07:28,615 --> 00:07:33,536
Oh, oh, that's a hot one.

153
00:07:33,662 --> 00:07:35,955
Oh, you fracture me.

154
00:07:37,457 --> 00:07:38,625
Please do.

155
00:07:39,709 --> 00:07:40,794
Please do sit down.

156
00:07:40,919 --> 00:07:41,419
Oh, no, thanks.

157
00:07:41,544 --> 00:07:42,545
I can't stay a second.

158
00:07:42,671 --> 00:07:45,173
I heard about your
contemplated leap off the

159
00:07:45,298 --> 00:07:48,134
roof, and I just came in
to offer my condolences.

160
00:07:48,259 --> 00:07:50,220
Congratulations.

161
00:07:50,345 --> 00:07:51,179
Well, thank you.

162
00:07:51,304 --> 00:07:54,349
I have been preparing for
this little feat for some time now.

163
00:07:54,474 --> 00:07:58,603
In fact, I've conditioned my body to
the point where I'm as hard as nails.

164
00:07:58,728 --> 00:07:59,521
Let me show you.

165
00:07:59,646 --> 00:08:00,814
Hit.

166
00:08:00,939 --> 00:08:03,900
Slam this draw on my hand.

167
00:08:05,026 --> 00:08:05,193
Pardon?

168
00:08:05,318 --> 00:08:07,737
I guarantee I'll
laugh at the pain.

169
00:08:07,862 --> 00:08:11,616
You see, the worst part about
pain is the anticipation of it.

170
00:08:11,741 --> 00:08:13,910
So I'll just close my
eyes, if you don't mind.

171
00:08:14,035 --> 00:08:15,537
Now, go ahead.

172
00:08:15,662 --> 00:08:16,079
Go ahead.

173
00:08:16,204 --> 00:08:19,082
The man who won't
be hurt can't be hurt.

174
00:08:19,207 --> 00:08:20,417
Slam it.

175
00:08:20,542 --> 00:08:22,377
That's an order!

176
00:08:24,212 --> 00:08:25,255
Yes, sir.

177
00:08:27,257 --> 00:08:29,467
Well, apparently something's
stuck in the back of the drawer.

178
00:08:29,592 --> 00:08:30,176
It won't close.

179
00:08:30,301 --> 00:08:34,973
Oh, for heaven's sake.

180
00:08:36,224 --> 00:08:38,601
Well, we'll have to
try something else.

181
00:08:38,727 --> 00:08:41,438
Oh, I'd better
clear off my desk.

182
00:08:41,563 --> 00:08:45,400
Would you mind holding
the typewriter for me?

183
00:08:45,525 --> 00:08:46,192
Not at all.

184
00:08:46,317 --> 00:08:47,235
Thank you.

185
00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:49,112
I think I'd better...

186
00:08:49,237 --> 00:08:51,990
Oil up the hinges a bit.

187
00:08:54,117 --> 00:08:57,328
Be careful, Mr. Coplin, that's
pretty slippery and this is very heavy.

188
00:08:57,454 --> 00:08:59,164
I'd hate to drop
it on your foot.

189
00:08:59,289 --> 00:09:01,541
Oh, let's just hold
that thought, shall we?

190
00:09:01,666 --> 00:09:07,338
Now, where are
those reports I want?

191
00:09:07,464 --> 00:09:09,424
Mr. Coplin, this is very heavy.

192
00:09:09,549 --> 00:09:11,509
Now, just do the best
you can, Miss Brooks.

193
00:09:11,634 --> 00:09:13,470
You won't mind if I do.

194
00:09:13,595 --> 00:09:14,763
I don't want.

195
00:09:14,888 --> 00:09:17,849
Let us only take a minute.

196
00:09:22,979 --> 00:09:27,484
What's the matter with you?

197
00:09:27,609 --> 00:09:29,444
How could you be so clumsy?

198
00:09:29,569 --> 00:09:32,280
You've mangled my foot!

199
00:09:32,405 --> 00:09:34,491
That typewriter was
nowhere near your foot, sir.

200
00:09:34,616 --> 00:09:36,117
I dropped it way up there.

201
00:09:36,242 --> 00:09:39,245
Way up there?

202
00:09:41,122 --> 00:09:45,251
Well, the crash startled
me, so I kicked my desk.

203
00:09:45,376 --> 00:09:48,838
Oh, the foot is definitely
broken in several places.

204
00:09:48,963 --> 00:09:50,340
Oh, yes, at least.

205
00:09:50,465 --> 00:09:53,343
Oh, what a dreadful
turn of events.

206
00:09:53,468 --> 00:09:58,598
This accident means that I
won't be able to jump off the roof.

207
00:09:58,723 --> 00:10:01,017
Isn't it awful?

208
00:10:01,142 --> 00:10:04,187
Well, you must try to
be brave, Mr. Conklin.

209
00:10:04,312 --> 00:10:07,816
Maybe you could
jump on one foot.

210
00:10:07,941 --> 00:10:11,236
Or maybe I could
give you a little shove.

211
00:10:11,361 --> 00:10:16,282
Thanks loads, but this unforeseen
accident compels me to withdraw.

212
00:10:16,407 --> 00:10:19,577
In view of the publicity,
however, we must go

213
00:10:19,702 --> 00:10:23,498
through with our civil
defense program as planned.

214
00:10:23,623 --> 00:10:27,669
I'll simply have to dig up a substitute
to jump off the roof in my place.

215
00:10:27,794 --> 00:10:29,087
A substitute?

216
00:10:29,212 --> 00:10:31,005
Hmm, let me see now.

217
00:10:31,130 --> 00:10:33,883
How about Mr. Boynton?

218
00:10:34,008 --> 00:10:40,932
Oh, now really, Mr. Conklin, jumping off a
roof is not something that... Mr. Boynton?

219
00:10:41,057 --> 00:10:43,935
Mr. Male Bravery himself?

220
00:10:45,103 --> 00:10:48,189
Well, I think he'd be
just perfect, Mr. Conklin.

221
00:10:48,314 --> 00:10:52,151
And if you don't mind, sir, I'd like to
break the happy news to him myself.

222
00:10:52,277 --> 00:10:54,320
Hop to it, hop to it.

223
00:10:54,445 --> 00:10:57,615
Oh, I do hope Mr. Boyden
will consent, Miss Brooks.

224
00:10:57,740 --> 00:10:59,242
Do you think he'll jump?

225
00:10:59,367 --> 00:11:04,080
Oh, he will, right
out of his skin.

226
00:11:11,212 --> 00:11:16,718
Well, no volunteers yet.

227
00:11:17,886 --> 00:11:24,893
He really didn't want
to make the lead.

228
00:11:37,363 --> 00:11:41,534
Never have I seen such a shameful
display of cowardice in action.

229
00:11:41,659 --> 00:11:45,121
Since word got around that
I was seeking a man for the

230
00:11:45,246 --> 00:11:48,666
jump, there hasn't been
one male teacher available.

231
00:11:53,129 --> 00:11:54,130
I'll say there isn't.

232
00:11:54,255 --> 00:11:59,844
This corridor is beginning to look like
the depot scene from Gone with the Wind.

233
00:11:59,969 --> 00:12:01,554
What a shame.

234
00:12:01,679 --> 00:12:06,142
Why, there isn't one whole
male left on my entire faculty.

235
00:12:06,267 --> 00:12:09,854
Unless, uh... How's
the wrist, Boynton?

236
00:12:09,979 --> 00:12:10,730
Oh, bad.

237
00:12:10,855 --> 00:12:12,482
Bad.

238
00:12:12,607 --> 00:12:13,816
Very bad.

239
00:12:13,942 --> 00:12:14,859
How's the foot, sir?

240
00:12:14,984 --> 00:12:15,818
Oh, terrible.

241
00:12:15,944 --> 00:12:17,236
Terrible.

242
00:12:17,362 --> 00:12:18,905
Funny, I feel just fine.

243
00:12:19,030 --> 00:12:20,073
But then I can afford to.

244
00:12:20,198 --> 00:12:22,575
I don't have to leap.

245
00:12:23,785 --> 00:12:26,871
Correction, Miss Brooks.

246
00:12:26,996 --> 00:12:26,996
Huh?

247
00:12:27,080 --> 00:12:29,916
Since all the male
members of my faculty are

248
00:12:30,041 --> 00:12:33,586
indisposed, I have decided
that you will make the leap.

249
00:12:33,711 --> 00:12:34,337
Me?

250
00:12:34,462 --> 00:12:35,880
In the shape I'm in?

251
00:12:36,005 --> 00:12:38,591
What shape are you in?

252
00:12:38,716 --> 00:12:39,884
I'm a woman.

253
00:12:40,009 --> 00:12:44,472
True, true.

254
00:12:44,597 --> 00:12:47,976
But no one will know the difference
because you will be wearing a

255
00:12:48,101 --> 00:12:51,604
crash helmet and a paratrooper's
outfit with built-in parachute.

256
00:12:52,689 --> 00:12:55,316
But Mr. Conklin, I'm
an acrophobiac, sir.

257
00:12:55,441 --> 00:12:57,860
I have a morbid
fear of high places.

258
00:12:57,986 --> 00:12:58,569
Really?

259
00:12:58,695 --> 00:13:00,571
You never mentioned
that to me, Miss Brooks.

260
00:13:00,697 --> 00:13:02,991
Don't be so helpful.

261
00:13:03,116 --> 00:13:07,912
Please, Mr. Conklin, I
even get dizzy in high heels.

262
00:13:08,037 --> 00:13:10,415
The net leap is very dangerous.

263
00:13:10,540 --> 00:13:11,582
Not at all.

264
00:13:11,708 --> 00:13:14,669
Just be sure you hit the net.

265
00:13:14,794 --> 00:13:18,339
Now then, since you're cooperative enough
to make the jump, I cannot, in all fairness,

266
00:13:18,464 --> 00:13:21,801
burden you with the additional task of
posing for the newspaper photographers.

267
00:13:25,138 --> 00:13:28,391
Therefore, after you jump off the
roof, I, attired exactly as you are,

268
00:13:28,516 --> 00:13:32,103
will walk from around the corner of
the building and pose for the pictures.

269
00:13:38,109 --> 00:13:40,445
That's mighty clever, sir.

270
00:13:40,570 --> 00:13:44,115
If you're dressed exactly alike, they'll
never be able to tell you two apart.

271
00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:45,366
Oh, yes, they will.

272
00:13:45,491 --> 00:13:49,787
I'll be the one still
standing on the roof.

273
00:13:49,912 --> 00:13:52,707
Now, now, now,
don't be petulant.

274
00:13:52,832 --> 00:13:56,127
I'm quite sure that after
you think it over, you'll

275
00:13:56,252 --> 00:13:59,589
be delighted to face this
exhilarating experience.

276
00:13:59,714 --> 00:14:05,970
Good luck, and happy landing.

277
00:14:11,392 --> 00:14:14,896
If you're looking for
Mr. Boydenwalder, he just

278
00:14:15,021 --> 00:14:18,399
stepped out a minute
so I could get dressed.

279
00:14:21,152 --> 00:14:23,488
There are some kids
left in my classroom.

280
00:14:23,613 --> 00:14:23,863
Yeah, I know.

281
00:14:23,988 --> 00:14:25,990
Mr. Boynton just
told me all about it.

282
00:14:26,115 --> 00:14:28,493
I think it's terrible you're
having to make that jump.

283
00:14:28,618 --> 00:14:31,079
If I were you, I would
flatly refuse to do it.

284
00:14:31,204 --> 00:14:34,957
Well, Walter, how can I...
Please, Miss Brooks, don't do it.

285
00:14:35,083 --> 00:14:36,793
Look, I've got an idea.

286
00:14:36,918 --> 00:14:41,589
Let me break your legs so you'll
look like the rest of the faculty.

287
00:14:41,714 --> 00:14:44,926
That's the sweetest
thing I've heard all day.

288
00:14:45,051 --> 00:14:47,512
But it's too late to
back out now, Walter.

289
00:14:47,637 --> 00:14:49,680
Your old marble head
must have flipped.

290
00:14:49,806 --> 00:14:53,184
What made him start all this
jumping business in the first place?

291
00:14:53,309 --> 00:14:56,020
Well, you can blame it
all on the Flying Phelans,

292
00:14:56,145 --> 00:14:58,815
that husband and wife
team we saw at the circus.

293
00:14:58,940 --> 00:15:02,777
If we hadn't gone down there last week,
we would have been... Hey, wait a minute!

294
00:15:02,902 --> 00:15:04,362
Why didn't I think of it before?

295
00:15:04,487 --> 00:15:08,074
You could ring in
Mr. Phelan as a substitute.

296
00:15:08,199 --> 00:15:09,367
Phelan as a substitute?

297
00:15:09,492 --> 00:15:11,536
Yeah, I'm sure
he'd do it for a price.

298
00:15:11,661 --> 00:15:14,664
Well, look, you could dress him in your
outfit and nobody will know the difference.

299
00:15:14,789 --> 00:15:18,751
I'll bet you could get him to make
that jump for a... for a paltry $25.

300
00:15:18,876 --> 00:15:23,965
For a paltry $25, I could
get my grandmother to jump.

301
00:15:24,090 --> 00:15:26,592
Well, it's your only
chance, Miss Brooks.

302
00:15:26,717 --> 00:15:27,426
Haven't you got $25?

303
00:15:27,552 --> 00:15:31,722
Well, yes, but I've been
saving it up to buy a dress.

304
00:15:31,848 --> 00:15:36,269
Well, holy cow, what's more important,
not jumping or buying a new dress?

305
00:15:36,394 --> 00:15:38,020
You're absolutely right, Walter.

306
00:15:38,146 --> 00:15:41,399
If I did make the jump,
I probably wouldn't

307
00:15:41,524 --> 00:15:45,153
have anything left to
put in that dress anyway.

308
00:15:47,613 --> 00:15:48,614
♪

309
00:15:57,540 --> 00:16:04,547
Hi.

310
00:16:10,928 --> 00:16:12,054
I'll say.

311
00:16:12,180 --> 00:16:15,683
I'm supposed to
meet a lady up here.

312
00:16:15,808 --> 00:16:18,394
Can you tell me where I can
find a Miss Brooks buddy?

313
00:16:18,519 --> 00:16:19,729
Yeah, I'm Miss Buddy.

314
00:16:19,854 --> 00:16:21,772
Miss Brooks.

315
00:16:21,898 --> 00:16:22,940
Are you Mr. Phelan?

316
00:16:23,065 --> 00:16:24,734
The Flying Phelans, right.

317
00:16:24,859 --> 00:16:27,278
Look, you said on the phone
that you'd explain what you wanted.

318
00:16:27,403 --> 00:16:28,321
When I got here.

319
00:16:28,446 --> 00:16:29,155
Now, what is it?

320
00:16:29,280 --> 00:16:30,114
Nothing much.

321
00:16:30,239 --> 00:16:33,367
I just want you to
straighten up and fly right.

322
00:16:33,492 --> 00:16:35,244
Did you see that
crowd downstairs?

323
00:16:35,369 --> 00:16:37,079
Oh, yeah, with the fire
engines and everything.

324
00:16:37,205 --> 00:16:37,955
Yeah, what's up?

325
00:16:38,080 --> 00:16:41,417
Yeah, well, we're having civil
defense exercises, and our principal

326
00:16:41,542 --> 00:16:45,087
was supposed to jump off this roof,
but he backed out and I backed in.

327
00:16:47,715 --> 00:16:50,718
Now, I'm willing to give
you $25 to substitute

328
00:16:50,843 --> 00:16:53,596
for me and take a
flying leap at the net.

329
00:16:53,721 --> 00:16:56,849
Lady, you can take a
flying leap at the moon.

330
00:16:56,974 --> 00:16:58,601
I got acrophobia.

331
00:16:58,726 --> 00:17:00,603
I'm scared of high places.

332
00:17:00,728 --> 00:17:02,396
What?

333
00:17:02,521 --> 00:17:05,441
But every night you jump
50 feet into a flaming tank.

334
00:17:05,566 --> 00:17:08,069
Correction, it's the
little woman who jumps.

335
00:17:08,194 --> 00:17:12,448
You see, in our act, my wife and I both
dress in the same kind of hobo costume.

336
00:17:12,573 --> 00:17:14,492
See, so nobody
knows the difference.

337
00:17:14,617 --> 00:17:17,578
Nothing bothers
that little lady, but me,

338
00:17:17,703 --> 00:17:23,334
I couldn't look over Jeff Chandler's
shoulders without getting to bed.

339
00:17:23,459 --> 00:17:26,254
What a revolting
development this is.

340
00:17:26,379 --> 00:17:27,463
Well, I'm sorry, Miss Brooks.

341
00:17:27,588 --> 00:17:29,966
It's just part of my
nature to flee from danger.

342
00:17:30,091 --> 00:17:31,509
Let's get with it, Miss Brooks.

343
00:17:31,634 --> 00:17:33,219
The crowd is waiting.

344
00:17:33,344 --> 00:17:37,306
I'm going to have the
net ready, and you'll...

345
00:17:37,431 --> 00:17:40,601
Is this jump going
to be co-educational?

346
00:17:40,726 --> 00:17:42,436
Mr. Conklin, meet Mr. Phelan.

347
00:17:42,561 --> 00:17:44,105
You saw him at the circus.

348
00:17:44,230 --> 00:17:44,772
I do.

349
00:17:44,897 --> 00:17:47,024
Mr. Phelan of the
flying Phelans?

350
00:17:47,149 --> 00:17:48,776
Yeah, well, only
one of them flies.

351
00:17:48,901 --> 00:17:51,195
The other one flees.

352
00:17:51,320 --> 00:17:53,781
Sir, I've decided
not to make the leap.

353
00:17:53,906 --> 00:17:55,324
Not to make?

354
00:17:55,449 --> 00:17:56,659
Are you serious?

355
00:17:56,784 --> 00:17:58,661
Cross my heart and hope to live.

356
00:17:58,786 --> 00:18:02,540
Oh, now stop acting
like a jittery schoolgirl.

357
00:18:02,665 --> 00:18:06,502
Yeah, but nothing can happen
to you if you land in the net.

358
00:18:06,627 --> 00:18:08,963
You stay out of this.

359
00:18:09,088 --> 00:18:10,006
No, I won't do it, sir.

360
00:18:10,131 --> 00:18:11,173
I can't do it.

361
00:18:11,299 --> 00:18:18,306
But Miss Brooks, I'm depending on you to
make our civil defense show a big smash.

362
00:18:19,557 --> 00:18:19,765
Ooh!

363
00:18:19,890 --> 00:18:24,353
Well, now you know very well if it wasn't
for this bad foot, I'd do it in a minute.

364
00:18:24,478 --> 00:18:26,897
Mr. Kirkland, the mayor
is becoming impatient.

365
00:18:27,023 --> 00:18:28,607
The mayor?

366
00:18:28,733 --> 00:18:30,526
Oh, Boyden, you've got
to reason with this woman.

367
00:18:30,651 --> 00:18:32,236
Maybe she'll jump for you.

368
00:18:32,361 --> 00:18:36,824
Not even if you dangle
him from the ledge's bait.

369
00:18:36,949 --> 00:18:43,289
Sir, I wouldn't force Miss Brooks to
jump if she... Say, do I smell smoke?

370
00:18:43,414 --> 00:18:44,707
Smoke?

371
00:18:44,832 --> 00:18:45,333
Hey!

372
00:18:45,458 --> 00:18:45,833
Here!

373
00:18:45,958 --> 00:18:46,959
Oh, yeah.

374
00:18:47,084 --> 00:18:48,544
It's coming right through there.

375
00:18:48,669 --> 00:18:50,421
The stairs must be smoking.

376
00:18:50,546 --> 00:18:55,468
They wouldn't dare.

377
00:18:55,593 --> 00:18:59,138
They know my rules
against... The stairs?

378
00:18:59,263 --> 00:19:00,222
Great Scott!

379
00:19:00,348 --> 00:19:04,435
That means... Hot
dog, the school's on fire!

380
00:19:04,560 --> 00:19:07,730
Run for your lives, everybody!

381
00:19:07,855 --> 00:19:09,732
The whole joint's cooking!

382
00:19:09,857 --> 00:19:11,192
But I can't believe it!

383
00:19:11,317 --> 00:19:13,819
My school on fire?

384
00:19:13,944 --> 00:19:15,696
Now keep your heads, everybody.

385
00:19:15,821 --> 00:19:17,406
Let's pretend it's a fire drill.

386
00:19:17,531 --> 00:19:19,492
No panic now, no panic.

387
00:19:19,617 --> 00:19:21,619
Single file, close formation.

388
00:19:21,744 --> 00:19:22,536
Me first.

389
00:19:22,661 --> 00:19:25,456
We will march
down that staircase.

390
00:19:25,581 --> 00:19:26,290
What staircase?

391
00:19:26,415 --> 00:19:28,000
It's practically burned down.

392
00:19:28,125 --> 00:19:31,003
The only escape is to jump
off the roof and into the net.

393
00:19:31,128 --> 00:19:31,712
Jump?

394
00:19:31,837 --> 00:19:32,713
Roof?

395
00:19:32,838 --> 00:19:33,214
Net?

396
00:19:33,339 --> 00:19:34,465
No panic now.

397
00:19:34,590 --> 00:19:36,300
Single file, everybody faints.

398
00:19:36,425 --> 00:19:37,093
Me first.

399
00:19:37,218 --> 00:19:39,220
I mean, I'll jump first.

400
00:19:39,345 --> 00:19:40,805
Hold it, Miss Brooks!

401
00:19:40,930 --> 00:19:47,937
I promised those kiddies I'd jump
today, and I am a man of my word.

402
00:19:52,733 --> 00:19:58,030
Listen to that crowd.

403
00:19:58,155 --> 00:20:01,450
It's me, your principal,
Osgood Conklin.

404
00:20:01,575 --> 00:20:04,203
I'll be right down.

405
00:20:04,328 --> 00:20:05,996
The wind is blowing
from the north, sir.

406
00:20:06,122 --> 00:20:09,708
You better aim a
little south of the net.

407
00:20:09,834 --> 00:20:13,712
Farewell, everybody.

408
00:20:19,135 --> 00:20:24,265
I'm sorry, you'll have to wait.

409
00:20:24,390 --> 00:20:27,852
I've got a show to do tonight.

410
00:20:36,068 --> 00:20:42,700
The crowd acts
like this was a picnic.

411
00:20:42,825 --> 00:20:43,409
It's getting
louder all the time.

412
00:20:43,534 --> 00:20:44,743
How many people do you
suppose are down there now?

413
00:20:44,869 --> 00:20:47,204
I don't know, but I'll be happy
to get down and count them.

414
00:20:47,329 --> 00:20:48,038
Well, what about me?

415
00:20:48,164 --> 00:20:55,129
Oh, I want to be there and help
catch you when you come down.

416
00:21:00,551 --> 00:21:02,136
Well, how do you like that?

417
00:21:02,261 --> 00:21:04,054
Letting me jump last.

418
00:21:04,180 --> 00:21:06,307
Well, why should you
want to jump, Miss Brooks?

419
00:21:06,432 --> 00:21:11,937
Unless you're afraid of
a couple of smudge pots.

420
00:21:14,148 --> 00:21:15,649
Smudge pots?

421
00:21:15,774 --> 00:21:18,068
Sure, I started them
smoking under the staircase

422
00:21:18,194 --> 00:21:20,529
to make sure someone
would leave in your place.

423
00:21:20,654 --> 00:21:24,950
That's pretty clever,
don't you think?

424
00:21:25,075 --> 00:21:27,495
Why, it's positively
brilliant, Walter.

425
00:21:27,620 --> 00:21:29,580
And you've settled
one thing conclusively.

426
00:21:29,705 --> 00:21:30,956
What's that?

427
00:21:31,081 --> 00:21:33,083
Men are always
braver than women.

428
00:21:33,209 --> 00:21:40,216
As soon as they
get panicky enough.

429
00:21:50,518 --> 00:21:57,525
♪

429
00:21:58,305 --> 00:22:58,450
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