1
00:00:00,042 --> 00:00:07,049
This is the day of
the big game, isn't it?

2
00:00:15,599 --> 00:00:16,600
Yes, it is.

3
00:00:16,725 --> 00:00:19,561
I've been making these pennants
for Mr. Boynton and myself.

4
00:00:19,686 --> 00:00:21,980
We've been named honorary
cheerleaders, you know.

5
00:00:22,105 --> 00:00:23,148
Mm-hmm.

6
00:00:23,273 --> 00:00:26,276
And if we win the game today,
he's going to take me out after.

7
00:00:26,401 --> 00:00:27,653
Oh.

8
00:00:27,778 --> 00:00:29,947
Well, I certainly
hope you win, Connie.

9
00:00:30,072 --> 00:00:33,992
And so do I, but
Mr. Boynton's no pushover.

10
00:00:34,117 --> 00:00:36,662
Oh, you mean the game.

11
00:00:38,330 --> 00:00:43,085
Yes, Madison and Clay High, you know,
have been bitter football rivals for years.

12
00:00:43,210 --> 00:00:46,922
Oh, by the way, Mrs. Davis, I need
a little extra change for expenses.

13
00:00:47,047 --> 00:00:49,132
Our salary checks
were late this month.

14
00:00:49,258 --> 00:00:52,052
Just take what you need out of
the sugar bowl in the kitchen, dear.

15
00:00:52,177 --> 00:00:54,263
There are always
a few dollars in it.

16
00:00:54,388 --> 00:00:55,180
Oh, thanks.

17
00:00:55,305 --> 00:00:57,140
I wish you'd keep it in
the saccharin jar, though.

18
00:00:57,266 --> 00:01:00,435
I'm kind of watching my weight.

19
00:01:00,560 --> 00:01:02,145
Oh, that must be Walter Denton.

20
00:01:02,271 --> 00:01:03,230
Come on in, Walter.

21
00:01:03,355 --> 00:01:04,106
Oh, dear.

22
00:01:04,231 --> 00:01:08,777
I hate to have anyone see me
with my hair up and curlers like this.

23
00:01:08,902 --> 00:01:09,736
Rah, rah, rah!

24
00:01:09,861 --> 00:01:11,571
Hold that line!

25
00:01:12,906 --> 00:01:16,159
Won't you be my Valentine?

26
00:01:16,285 --> 00:01:17,327
Sit down, Walter.

27
00:01:17,452 --> 00:01:18,996
Thanks, Miss Brooks.

28
00:01:19,121 --> 00:01:19,746
Hi, Mrs. Davis.

29
00:01:19,871 --> 00:01:21,373
Hello, Walter.

30
00:01:21,498 --> 00:01:22,040
Come on, sit down.

31
00:01:22,165 --> 00:01:23,542
Have some coffee cake.

32
00:01:23,667 --> 00:01:25,627
Thanks.

33
00:01:25,752 --> 00:01:28,672
I hope you don't mind my
appearance this morning, Walter.

34
00:01:28,797 --> 00:01:31,008
I really do look a mess.

35
00:01:31,133 --> 00:01:32,175
Oh, that's all
right, Mrs. Davis.

36
00:01:32,301 --> 00:01:34,011
I'm used to it.

37
00:01:35,595 --> 00:01:38,307
This boy is studying for
the diplomatic service.

38
00:01:38,432 --> 00:01:41,852
Oh, I didn't mean any
offense, Mrs. Davis.

39
00:01:41,977 --> 00:01:42,853
No, not at all.

40
00:01:42,978 --> 00:01:46,064
In fact, I was thinking you'd
make a very cute couple.

41
00:01:46,189 --> 00:01:48,150
By herself?

42
00:01:48,275 --> 00:01:50,485
No, she and our new
assistant football coach.

43
00:01:50,610 --> 00:01:51,695
He's a very handsome man.

44
00:01:51,820 --> 00:01:54,656
Oh, now don't embarrass
Mrs. Davis, Walter.

45
00:01:54,781 --> 00:01:56,700
Let the boy talk.

46
00:01:58,827 --> 00:02:01,246
Who is this new coach, Walter?

47
00:02:01,371 --> 00:02:05,417
None other than Snake Ibscuri, the
greatest quarterback Madison High ever had.

48
00:02:05,542 --> 00:02:08,211
I guess he's just about
your age, Mrs. Davis.

49
00:02:08,337 --> 00:02:11,006
Oh, well, I'm just
turning sweet 60, Walter.

50
00:02:11,131 --> 00:02:11,923
60?

51
00:02:12,049 --> 00:02:19,890
Oh, well, I guess he isn't that
old, but he sure is an antique.

52
00:02:20,015 --> 00:02:22,726
Yeah, that is, back in
1912, Snake Gibbs Gary

53
00:02:22,851 --> 00:02:26,021
scored 47 points in the
big game against Clay Hive.

54
00:02:26,146 --> 00:02:27,898
47 points.

55
00:02:28,023 --> 00:02:29,316
Nobody's ever equaled it.

56
00:02:29,441 --> 00:02:31,943
That's why he's such
an inspiration to the team.

57
00:02:32,069 --> 00:02:33,403
The kids are just
nuts about him.

58
00:02:33,528 --> 00:02:35,697
Well, I'd like to
meet him sometime.

59
00:02:35,822 --> 00:02:37,783
Well, no time like the present.

60
00:02:37,908 --> 00:02:40,077
Why don't you ride over with us
and see the game at Clay High?

61
00:02:40,202 --> 00:02:44,122
$1.25 pays for your ticket, plus a
round-trip ride on the chartered bus.

62
00:02:44,247 --> 00:02:46,041
That's a splendid idea, Walter.

63
00:02:46,166 --> 00:02:48,168
You consider my
reservation made.

64
00:02:48,293 --> 00:02:51,296
Walter, if you'll help me with a few
of these things, we'll be off for school.

65
00:02:51,421 --> 00:02:52,839
OK, Miss Brooks.

66
00:02:52,964 --> 00:02:55,217
Oh, by the way, do you think you
ought to bring a vase for the rose?

67
00:02:55,342 --> 00:02:56,426
The rose?

68
00:02:56,551 --> 00:02:59,721
He means the one Snake Ips
dearly brings me every morning.

69
00:02:59,846 --> 00:03:02,307
It's a switch on an apple.

70
00:03:02,432 --> 00:03:04,267
He's very fond of Miss Brooks.

71
00:03:04,393 --> 00:03:07,896
You know, Sunday, I think I'll tell
Mr. Boynton what Snake Ips said about you.

72
00:03:08,021 --> 00:03:10,565
Well, with a few
slight revisions, maybe.

73
00:03:10,690 --> 00:03:11,191
Revisions?

74
00:03:11,316 --> 00:03:12,401
Like what?

75
00:03:12,526 --> 00:03:15,362
Oh, I'll just say, Mr. Boynton,
Snake Ips told me the

76
00:03:15,487 --> 00:03:18,532
man who marries Miss Brooks
will be a very lucky fellow.

77
00:03:18,657 --> 00:03:23,829
So if you're in the market for a bride,
Mr. Boynton... Walter, don't embarrass her.

78
00:03:23,954 --> 00:03:30,961
Let the boy talk.

79
00:03:33,922 --> 00:03:40,929
Good morning, Miss Brooks.

80
00:03:44,266 --> 00:03:45,559
Hello, Mr. Boynton.

81
00:03:45,684 --> 00:03:48,186
I saw you coming in, so I
thought I'd visit for a spell.

82
00:03:48,311 --> 00:03:51,565
But if you're busy,
I... Spell, spell.

83
00:03:51,690 --> 00:03:54,526
Pull up a chair and make yourself
comfortable while I erase the blackboard.

84
00:03:54,651 --> 00:03:57,612
Oh, here, let me help you.

85
00:03:58,738 --> 00:04:01,450
I'm going to be able to
repay you today, Mr. Boynton.

86
00:04:01,575 --> 00:04:01,950
Repay me?

87
00:04:02,075 --> 00:04:03,201
For what?

88
00:04:03,326 --> 00:04:05,704
For the lunch money
I borrowed yesterday.

89
00:04:05,829 --> 00:04:06,913
You borrowed lunch money?

90
00:04:07,038 --> 00:04:07,289
From me?

91
00:04:07,414 --> 00:04:09,708
I guess I just skipped my mind.

92
00:04:09,833 --> 00:04:11,501
Yes, I borrowed 60 cents.

93
00:04:11,626 --> 00:04:16,298
The exact figure
was 66 cents, miss.

94
00:04:16,423 --> 00:04:19,593
You have the $0.15
meatloaf, soup, and $0.38

95
00:04:19,718 --> 00:04:22,637
meatloaf, and a $0.10
dish of ice cream.

96
00:04:22,762 --> 00:04:23,972
Sold for $0.66.

97
00:04:24,097 --> 00:04:25,015
I'll get my purse.

98
00:04:25,140 --> 00:04:25,932
Oh, forget it, Miss Brooks.

99
00:04:26,057 --> 00:04:26,808
What's the rush?

100
00:04:26,933 --> 00:04:30,061
You can give it to
me at lunch today.

101
00:04:30,187 --> 00:04:32,314
You know, I wouldn't
have had to borrow if

102
00:04:32,439 --> 00:04:34,774
our salary checks hadn't
been late this month.

103
00:04:34,900 --> 00:04:36,985
Yeah, borrowing's
a bad habit, all right.

104
00:04:37,110 --> 00:04:41,615
But incidentally, I saved us a few
dollars by making these tenants at home.

105
00:04:41,740 --> 00:04:43,700
You know, as honorary
cheerleaders, we have to

106
00:04:43,825 --> 00:04:45,785
supply them for the
faculty rooting section.

107
00:04:45,911 --> 00:04:47,162
Oh, they're very nice.

108
00:04:47,287 --> 00:04:49,664
Yes, Walter helped me with
a few of them this morning.

109
00:04:49,789 --> 00:04:51,833
That kid is really a panic.

110
00:04:51,958 --> 00:04:55,670
You know, he's already betrothed
Mrs. Davis to Snake Hips Geary.

111
00:04:55,795 --> 00:04:57,214
Mrs. Davis?

112
00:04:57,339 --> 00:04:59,090
You think she'll take
to old Snake Hips?

113
00:04:59,216 --> 00:05:00,217
Why not?

114
00:05:00,342 --> 00:05:03,720
Well, Mrs. Davis is quite intelligent,
and in many ways, Snake Hips is,

115
00:05:03,845 --> 00:05:07,349
uh... Well, the way he speaks
certainly leaves something to be desired.

116
00:05:09,184 --> 00:05:11,603
So does the way you don't.

117
00:05:11,728 --> 00:05:14,731
I mean, he must have
had a high school education

118
00:05:14,856 --> 00:05:17,734
to be able to qualify
for the coaching staff.

119
00:05:17,859 --> 00:05:21,321
Please, Miss Brooks, Snake Ips knows little
or nothing about modern coaching methods.

120
00:05:21,446 --> 00:05:23,323
He was hired merely
out of sentiment.

121
00:05:23,448 --> 00:05:26,910
Well, what's the difference, as long
as he's an inspiration to the team?

122
00:05:27,035 --> 00:05:28,537
Anyway, he's cute.

123
00:05:28,662 --> 00:05:31,790
You know, I heard that when he
first made the Madison Varsity, he

124
00:05:31,915 --> 00:05:35,043
was so proud, he couldn't
even wait to get his official letter.

125
00:05:35,168 --> 00:05:38,380
He just cut some out and
sewed them on an old sweater.

126
00:05:38,505 --> 00:05:40,549
He's a character.

127
00:05:40,674 --> 00:05:41,591
Hi, folks.

128
00:05:41,716 --> 00:05:44,928
Come on, Spanky.

129
00:05:45,053 --> 00:05:46,263
Good morning.

130
00:05:46,388 --> 00:05:49,891
I just mentioned to some of the kids
that I wanted to come over and trim that

131
00:05:50,016 --> 00:05:53,562
rose I gave you, and they carried
me all the way over on their shoulders.

132
00:05:53,687 --> 00:05:54,938
Ain't that nice?

133
00:05:55,063 --> 00:05:56,481
Isn't that nice?

134
00:05:56,606 --> 00:05:57,732
I think so, too.

135
00:05:57,857 --> 00:06:00,110
Sit down, Spanky.

136
00:06:01,611 --> 00:06:04,823
Those kids are awful fond
of you, too, Mr. Brooks.

137
00:06:04,948 --> 00:06:06,616
Can't hardly
blame them for that.

138
00:06:06,741 --> 00:06:07,909
Eh, Mr. Boynton?

139
00:06:08,034 --> 00:06:08,660
Well, no.

140
00:06:08,785 --> 00:06:10,370
Of course not.

141
00:06:10,495 --> 00:06:12,289
No, indeed.

142
00:06:12,414 --> 00:06:15,000
Mark my words,
Mr. Boynton, the man that

143
00:06:15,125 --> 00:06:18,253
marries Miss Brooks
will sure be a lucky fellow.

144
00:06:18,378 --> 00:06:21,089
Is that a chronic cough?

145
00:06:21,214 --> 00:06:25,927
No, that's just a let's
change the subject cough.

146
00:06:26,052 --> 00:06:28,638
Say, Kip, do you mind
if I ask you a question?

147
00:06:28,763 --> 00:06:30,307
Not at all, Miss
Brooks, what is it?

148
00:06:30,432 --> 00:06:34,060
Who writes your sweaters?

149
00:06:34,185 --> 00:06:37,522
Oh, Liz, I found out about
the spelling being wrong right

150
00:06:37,647 --> 00:06:42,027
after I got out of school,
but I kept it this way for luck.

151
00:06:42,152 --> 00:06:46,781
The big game has got me so fired up,
I just couldn't resist wearing it today.

152
00:06:46,906 --> 00:06:50,035
I'll bet that sweater's
seen plenty of action.

153
00:06:50,160 --> 00:06:52,662
My most prized
possession, I guess.

154
00:06:52,787 --> 00:06:55,415
Funny how much a
sweater can mean to a man.

155
00:06:55,540 --> 00:06:58,084
Or to a woman, either.

156
00:07:01,046 --> 00:07:05,258
You know, Snakey, I bet you
could tell some wonderful memories.

157
00:07:05,383 --> 00:07:07,177
Ain't much to tell, really.

158
00:07:07,302 --> 00:07:11,431
My story, just like a lot of other
so-called football heroes, I guess.

159
00:07:11,556 --> 00:07:14,934
On account of all the publicity
I got after scoring 47 points in

160
00:07:15,060 --> 00:07:18,563
the big game, local firm hired
me for what they called prestige.

161
00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:23,693
Oh, you mean they sought to
commercialize on your popularity?

162
00:07:23,818 --> 00:07:24,903
I guess so.

163
00:07:25,028 --> 00:07:28,615
Anyway, they gave me the
title of Vice President right off.

164
00:07:28,740 --> 00:07:32,118
After a few years, those folks just
seemed to forget all about old snake

165
00:07:32,243 --> 00:07:35,747
hips, and one day they changed me
from Vice President to Maintenance Man.

166
00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:41,670
Maintenance Man?

167
00:07:41,795 --> 00:07:46,925
That's the vice president
with the longer broom.

168
00:07:47,050 --> 00:07:50,303
Paid the same salary
though, so I hung on till

169
00:07:50,428 --> 00:07:54,057
they... till they fired me
a couple of years ago.

170
00:07:55,850 --> 00:07:58,478
Couldn't seem to
land anything else.

171
00:07:58,603 --> 00:08:01,231
Don't want any old men,
everybody would say.

172
00:08:01,356 --> 00:08:03,817
Well, you'll never be too
old for Madison, Snakey.

173
00:08:03,942 --> 00:08:06,403
You'll be with us for
many, many years.

174
00:08:06,528 --> 00:08:07,612
Hope so.

175
00:08:07,737 --> 00:08:12,242
Of course, just being back at
the old school, around kids again,

176
00:08:12,367 --> 00:08:14,244
warms me up all over.

177
00:08:14,369 --> 00:08:16,204
Gives me my confidence again.

178
00:08:16,329 --> 00:08:19,374
And that's all a person needs
in this world, Miss Brooks.

179
00:08:19,499 --> 00:08:22,919
Just keep up your
confidence, and in the end,

180
00:08:23,044 --> 00:08:27,132
you'll always wind up
getting what you want.

181
00:08:27,257 --> 00:08:33,221
Oh, don't be so egotistical.

182
00:08:33,346 --> 00:08:35,515
I was just looking.

183
00:08:39,060 --> 00:08:46,067
You sent for me, Mr. Conklin?

184
00:08:47,777 --> 00:08:48,987
Oh, yes, Miss Brooks.

185
00:08:49,112 --> 00:08:49,904
Sit down.

186
00:08:50,029 --> 00:08:52,866
There's something I want
you to do for me, an official

187
00:08:52,991 --> 00:08:55,660
duty which I honestly
haven't the courage to face.

188
00:08:55,785 --> 00:08:56,786
What is it, sir?

189
00:08:56,911 --> 00:09:01,833
I want you to tell Snake Hips Geary that
effective immediately, he is discharged.

190
00:09:01,958 --> 00:09:02,876
Discharged?

191
00:09:03,001 --> 00:09:04,586
You mean fired?

192
00:09:04,711 --> 00:09:09,215
Fired, canned, given
the old heave-ho.

193
00:09:09,340 --> 00:09:12,010
However you wish to
phrase it, he's through.

194
00:09:12,135 --> 00:09:12,802
But why?

195
00:09:12,927 --> 00:09:15,263
Because of an inflexible
board rule that all

196
00:09:15,388 --> 00:09:18,141
Madison personnel must
have a high school diploma.

197
00:09:18,266 --> 00:09:20,935
Only minutes ago, I was
shocked to learn that in

198
00:09:21,060 --> 00:09:23,897
his final term, snake hips
plunked out in English.

199
00:09:24,022 --> 00:09:26,441
But that was over 40
years ago, Mr. Conklin.

200
00:09:26,566 --> 00:09:27,776
I know that, Miss Brooks.

201
00:09:27,901 --> 00:09:30,278
And if it hadn't been for
the principal of Clay High, no

202
00:09:30,403 --> 00:09:33,031
one would ever have thought
of investigating his background.

203
00:09:33,156 --> 00:09:37,118
You mean Jason Brill tipped off the board
and they dug up his scholastic record?

204
00:09:37,243 --> 00:09:38,453
Precisely.

205
00:09:38,578 --> 00:09:41,372
But Snakips is indispensable
now, Mr. Conklin.

206
00:09:41,498 --> 00:09:44,918
His coaching... His coaching
is nothing, Miss Brooks.

207
00:09:45,043 --> 00:09:49,672
All he does for the team
is carry the water bucket.

208
00:09:49,798 --> 00:09:51,257
And it leaks.

209
00:09:54,302 --> 00:09:58,056
But his value as a morale
builder is colossal, Miss Brooks.

210
00:09:58,181 --> 00:10:00,934
Unfortunately, Brill
is aware of that fact.

211
00:10:01,059 --> 00:10:04,729
If you take Snake Hips away from
those kids now, you'll break their hearts.

212
00:10:04,854 --> 00:10:05,522
His, too.

213
00:10:05,647 --> 00:10:06,314
Well, confound it.

214
00:10:06,439 --> 00:10:08,024
Do you think I want to lose him?

215
00:10:08,149 --> 00:10:11,653
Will and I have been bitter enemies
since our college days, Miss Brooks.

216
00:10:11,778 --> 00:10:14,781
Gad, I'd give anything,
anything if I could be sure that

217
00:10:14,906 --> 00:10:17,742
Snake Hips would be in
that bus to fire up our team.

218
00:10:17,867 --> 00:10:20,870
But since he didn't get a
diploma... Wait a minute.

219
00:10:20,995 --> 00:10:22,163
I think I have an idea.

220
00:10:22,288 --> 00:10:25,959
Maybe he could earn his
diploma before the bus leaves.

221
00:10:26,084 --> 00:10:27,043
What?

222
00:10:27,168 --> 00:10:29,712
By making up his
credit in English.

223
00:10:29,838 --> 00:10:30,964
Yes, I could...

224
00:10:31,089 --> 00:10:32,882
Oh no, I guess it wouldn't work.

225
00:10:33,007 --> 00:10:36,427
I was going to say that I could give him an
emergency refresher course this morning, and

226
00:10:36,553 --> 00:10:40,098
then give him the usual test questions after
lunch period, but I guess he couldn't pass.

227
00:10:41,808 --> 00:10:43,434
Well of course he'll pass.

228
00:10:43,560 --> 00:10:48,815
Believe me, he'll pass.

229
00:10:48,940 --> 00:10:50,692
Oh, Mr. Conklin,
he's awfully rusty.

230
00:10:50,817 --> 00:10:53,027
You will work on him
every minute, Miss Brooks.

231
00:10:53,152 --> 00:10:55,864
If you need relief, my daughter
Harriet will be at your disposal.

232
00:10:55,989 --> 00:10:57,323
She's very good at English.

233
00:10:57,448 --> 00:11:01,411
Even though she's been
in your class, she... Well...

234
00:11:01,536 --> 00:11:03,872
I'd better go and
tell her to stand by.

235
00:11:03,997 --> 00:11:05,957
Oh, I'm afraid it's
hopeless, Mr. Countland.

236
00:11:06,082 --> 00:11:07,458
Nothing is hopeless,
Miss Brooks.

237
00:11:07,584 --> 00:11:10,211
There were those who said
the father of our country couldn't

238
00:11:10,336 --> 00:11:13,131
cross the Delaware in a
broken-down old rowboat, but he did it.

239
00:11:13,256 --> 00:11:15,884
Snake hips gearing is
your craft, Miss Brooks.

240
00:11:16,009 --> 00:11:18,553
It's up to you to
get him across.

241
00:11:18,678 --> 00:11:24,183
If George Washington
could do it, you can do it.

242
00:11:27,937 --> 00:11:29,522
Well, at least you had a boat.

243
00:11:29,647 --> 00:11:35,528
All I've got is a leafy bucket.

244
00:11:40,617 --> 00:11:47,624
Hi, Miss Brooke.

245
00:11:49,334 --> 00:11:50,126
Hello, Harriet.

246
00:11:50,251 --> 00:11:51,419
You want a meatball?

247
00:11:51,544 --> 00:11:52,629
Uh, no thanks.

248
00:11:52,754 --> 00:11:53,421
I guess I'll leave it.

249
00:11:53,546 --> 00:11:56,507
They might use
it in the big game.

250
00:11:56,633 --> 00:11:57,425
Where's Snake Hips?

251
00:11:57,550 --> 00:11:59,135
Oh, he went out
for a little walk.

252
00:11:59,260 --> 00:12:02,138
I just took a little walk
myself, from Mr. Boyden.

253
00:12:02,263 --> 00:12:05,183
He casually decided not to
go to the game with me today.

254
00:12:05,308 --> 00:12:07,560
Oh, that's a shame, Miss Brooks.

255
00:12:07,685 --> 00:12:09,812
Golly, I feel sorry for him.

256
00:12:09,938 --> 00:12:11,022
Sorry for him?

257
00:12:11,147 --> 00:12:12,148
Well, sure.

258
00:12:12,273 --> 00:12:15,568
Snake Hips and I were running over
some test questions in Daddy's inner

259
00:12:15,693 --> 00:12:19,113
office when Mr. Boynton came in and
said he needed his check desperately.

260
00:12:19,238 --> 00:12:19,614
What?

261
00:12:19,739 --> 00:12:22,700
Unfortunately, Daddy
couldn't do anything about it.

262
00:12:22,825 --> 00:12:26,204
Golly, that's probably why Mr. Boynton
can't go to the game, Miss Brooks.

263
00:12:26,329 --> 00:12:29,332
He simply doesn't have the dollar and
a quarter and he's too proud to tell you.

264
00:12:29,457 --> 00:12:30,541
You're right, Harriet.

265
00:12:30,667 --> 00:12:32,961
That's why he only
had milk for lunch.

266
00:12:33,086 --> 00:12:35,672
Oh, I'm glad you've
got big ears, Harriet.

267
00:12:35,797 --> 00:12:37,590
Good ears.

268
00:12:37,715 --> 00:12:41,010
How did Snake Hips do on
the test questions, all right?

269
00:12:41,135 --> 00:12:42,845
Oh, not too well, Miss Brooks.

270
00:12:42,971 --> 00:12:46,724
He didn't remember any of the
practice exercises you ran over with him.

271
00:12:46,849 --> 00:12:48,559
Golly, I'm afraid he's hopeless.

272
00:12:48,685 --> 00:12:50,603
Well, don't sell
him short, Harriet.

273
00:12:50,728 --> 00:12:53,314
He probably was never
any good at football during

274
00:12:53,439 --> 00:12:56,609
practice, but in the actual
game, he rose to great heights.

275
00:12:56,734 --> 00:13:01,406
And if wishful thinking was
money, I'd be a millionaire.

276
00:13:01,531 --> 00:13:02,365
Hi, Snake Hips.

277
00:13:02,490 --> 00:13:04,033
Hello, Harriet.

278
00:13:04,158 --> 00:13:07,453
A little warm in here for that
old sweater of mine, Miss Brooks.

279
00:13:07,578 --> 00:13:08,371
I have an idea.

280
00:13:08,496 --> 00:13:11,457
It's going to get warmer for
me when I'm taking your test.

281
00:13:11,582 --> 00:13:14,335
Oh, now you're not getting nervous
about the test, are you, Snicket?

282
00:13:14,460 --> 00:13:15,336
Not really.

283
00:13:15,461 --> 00:13:17,797
English tests ain't
never scared me overly.

284
00:13:17,922 --> 00:13:22,468
I just hope you feel as
confident as me, Miss Brooks.

285
00:13:22,593 --> 00:13:23,886
Oh, I do.

286
00:13:24,012 --> 00:13:28,599
I ain't never been so overly
in my entire confidence.

287
00:13:28,725 --> 00:13:32,603
That's a split participle
with a dangling infinitive.

288
00:13:32,729 --> 00:13:34,272
Well, I think I'll run
along now, Miss Brooks.

289
00:13:34,397 --> 00:13:35,857
I've got a class pretty soon.

290
00:13:35,982 --> 00:13:37,191
Good luck, Snake Hip.

291
00:13:37,316 --> 00:13:39,152
Thanks, Harriet.

292
00:13:40,611 --> 00:13:41,446
Oh, hi, Daddy.

293
00:13:41,571 --> 00:13:42,822
Bye, Daddy.

294
00:13:45,033 --> 00:13:45,867
At ease.

295
00:13:45,992 --> 00:13:49,537
Miss Brooks, you will
have to find a new honorary

296
00:13:49,662 --> 00:13:52,957
cheerleader for the
faculty rooting section.

297
00:13:53,082 --> 00:13:56,335
For some unknown reason,
Mr. Boynton has chickened out.

298
00:13:56,461 --> 00:14:00,339
He's not going to the game.

299
00:14:00,465 --> 00:14:02,759
Oh, but you've got to go
to the game, Mr. Boynton.

300
00:14:02,884 --> 00:14:04,802
You wouldn't want
to waste this ticket.

301
00:14:04,927 --> 00:14:05,762
What ticket?

302
00:14:05,887 --> 00:14:08,848
I bought it for a
friend, but he got sick.

303
00:14:08,973 --> 00:14:10,349
It's all yours.

304
00:14:10,475 --> 00:14:12,643
Oh, well, thanks.

305
00:14:12,769 --> 00:14:15,354
Oh, but it seems you've given
me the wrong ticket, Snake Hips.

306
00:14:15,480 --> 00:14:16,314
Wrong ticket?

307
00:14:16,439 --> 00:14:19,150
Yes, this says Miller's Pawn
Shop, one sweater, $1.25.

308
00:14:19,275 --> 00:14:22,361
Here, give me this.

309
00:14:22,487 --> 00:14:24,781
This is the one here.

310
00:14:24,906 --> 00:14:27,700
Anyway, it was very
nice of Mr. Miller.

311
00:14:27,825 --> 00:14:30,536
That old sweater ain't
worth a dollar and a quarter.

312
00:14:30,661 --> 00:14:32,080
Not to him, least wise.

313
00:14:32,205 --> 00:14:35,666
Well, I'll be seeing
you folks later.

314
00:14:35,792 --> 00:14:38,628
Now, wasn't that a
nice thing for him to do?

315
00:14:38,753 --> 00:14:41,380
He heard about your
predicament in Mr. Conklin's office.

316
00:14:41,506 --> 00:14:44,550
Oh, Snake Hips is always doing
nice things for people, Miss Brooks.

317
00:14:44,675 --> 00:14:50,431
That's why I implore you to mark his
test paper with the most leniency possible.

318
00:14:50,556 --> 00:14:53,851
Sir, you're not suggesting that
Miss Brooks do anything unethical.

319
00:14:53,976 --> 00:14:55,561
Certainly not.

320
00:14:58,106 --> 00:15:01,526
Just bear in mind, Miss
Brooks, that our boys need him.

321
00:15:01,651 --> 00:15:04,862
Give him the consideration
he deserves for his monumental

322
00:15:04,987 --> 00:15:08,491
contribution to the glorious
athletic history of this school.

323
00:15:08,616 --> 00:15:12,161
Above all, give him credit for
what he did in the big game of 1912.

324
00:15:12,286 --> 00:15:13,663
1912?

325
00:15:13,788 --> 00:15:18,543
But Miss Brooks couldn't
know anything about that game.

326
00:15:18,668 --> 00:15:20,920
Why, she probably couldn't
even understand football in 1912.

327
00:15:21,045 --> 00:15:25,675
Oh, I guess I understood
as much football as any...

328
00:15:25,800 --> 00:15:25,883
1912?

329
00:15:26,008 --> 00:15:31,347
!

330
00:15:34,100 --> 00:15:34,725
Nobody here.

331
00:15:34,851 --> 00:15:37,103
Miss Brooks must have
gone to Mr. Conklin's office

332
00:15:37,228 --> 00:15:39,355
to tell him how Snape
gets scored in the test.

333
00:15:39,480 --> 00:15:40,648
Yeah, I suppose so.

334
00:15:40,773 --> 00:15:45,987
I wish we knew how he scored, not knowing
whether he passed or flunked his murder.

335
00:15:46,112 --> 00:15:49,782
Lots of papers on her desk.

336
00:15:49,907 --> 00:15:52,493
His test papers
probably among them.

337
00:15:52,618 --> 00:15:54,287
Plainly marked.

338
00:15:54,412 --> 00:15:56,914
His score and everything.

339
00:15:57,039 --> 00:16:00,168
Marked.

340
00:16:00,293 --> 00:16:02,336
In big numbers.

341
00:16:02,461 --> 00:16:03,129
Plain.

342
00:16:03,254 --> 00:16:07,717
Just get that out of
your mind, Walter.

343
00:16:09,468 --> 00:16:12,555
Her desk is rather cluttered
with papers, though.

344
00:16:12,680 --> 00:16:16,392
I think we ought to
sort of tidy it up for her.

345
00:16:16,517 --> 00:16:22,064
That's a splendid idea!

346
00:16:22,190 --> 00:16:23,357
Well, what do you know?

347
00:16:23,482 --> 00:16:23,941
What?

348
00:16:24,066 --> 00:16:26,027
I found that test paper
we weren't looking for.

349
00:16:26,152 --> 00:16:28,696
The snake gives pass?

350
00:16:28,821 --> 00:16:29,322
What did he score?

351
00:16:29,447 --> 00:16:30,031
19.

352
00:16:30,156 --> 00:16:31,616
19!

353
00:16:31,741 --> 00:16:36,621
The poor old guy flunked out.

354
00:16:37,663 --> 00:16:39,457
I'll take that paper, Walter.

355
00:16:39,582 --> 00:16:41,626
Gosh, I should have
expected the worst the

356
00:16:41,751 --> 00:16:44,003
minute I saw his name
at the top of the page.

357
00:16:44,128 --> 00:16:45,129
What do you mean?

358
00:16:45,254 --> 00:16:48,382
He didn't spell it right.

359
00:16:48,507 --> 00:16:52,470
But surely Miss Brooks won't have the heart
to tell Mr. Conklin the truth about this.

360
00:16:52,595 --> 00:16:54,889
I'm going over
there and find out.

361
00:16:55,014 --> 00:16:58,684
If Miss Brooks is so lacking in the milk of human
kindness that she can tell Mr. Conklin snake

362
00:16:58,809 --> 00:17:02,438
hips flunked, and that sweet old fellow loses
his job, well, I never want to see her again.

363
00:17:04,565 --> 00:17:05,733
You really mean that?

364
00:17:05,858 --> 00:17:07,318
I certainly do.

365
00:17:07,443 --> 00:17:10,613
There's only one thing I hold above
kindness, Walter, and that's honesty.

366
00:17:10,738 --> 00:17:14,200
If Miss Brooks can be so
dishonest as to lie about this score

367
00:17:14,325 --> 00:17:17,578
merely to protect his job, I
never want to see her again.

368
00:17:17,703 --> 00:17:24,460
Boy, she's sure
in solid with him.

369
00:17:29,840 --> 00:17:30,633
Hello, Ms.

370
00:17:30,758 --> 00:17:31,425
Brooks.

371
00:17:31,550 --> 00:17:33,261
Snake Hips and I are
waiting for the news.

372
00:17:33,386 --> 00:17:34,845
Happy news, I hope.

373
00:17:34,971 --> 00:17:36,222
I did my best, Ms.

374
00:17:36,347 --> 00:17:36,847
Brooks.

375
00:17:36,973 --> 00:17:37,974
I know you did.

376
00:17:38,099 --> 00:17:41,852
Excuse me, sir, I was curious
about... We all are, Boynton.

377
00:17:41,978 --> 00:17:44,188
We're just about to have
our curiosity relieved.

378
00:17:44,313 --> 00:17:46,023
Have you marked my test paper?

379
00:17:46,148 --> 00:17:46,899
I have.

380
00:17:47,024 --> 00:17:48,818
Well, tell us what
we're all waiting to hear.

381
00:17:48,943 --> 00:17:50,111
What was his score?

382
00:17:50,236 --> 00:17:51,028
66.

383
00:17:51,153 --> 00:17:55,324
66!

384
00:17:55,449 --> 00:17:56,701
66?

385
00:17:56,826 --> 00:17:58,411
You can stop bidding.

386
00:17:58,536 --> 00:18:01,497
That's as high as I'll go.

387
00:18:03,165 --> 00:18:05,209
Congratulations, you've passed.

388
00:18:05,334 --> 00:18:07,420
Now, Snake Hips, we've
got to get down and get that

389
00:18:07,545 --> 00:18:09,922
lucky sweater of yours out
of hock before the bus leaves.

390
00:18:10,047 --> 00:18:11,340
Pardon me, Miss
Brooks, Mr. Boynton.

391
00:18:11,465 --> 00:18:12,383
Come along, Snake
Hips, come along.

392
00:18:12,508 --> 00:18:14,635
Thank you, Miss Brooks.

393
00:18:14,760 --> 00:18:18,347
Well, old Snake Hips really came
through for us, didn't he, Mr. Boynton?

394
00:18:18,472 --> 00:18:19,473
Isn't it thrilling?

395
00:18:19,598 --> 00:18:21,475
Let's cut the
masquerade, Miss Brooks.

396
00:18:21,600 --> 00:18:23,769
Snake Hips didn't
get 66 in that test.

397
00:18:23,894 --> 00:18:25,021
You lied.

398
00:18:25,146 --> 00:18:25,771
Lied?

399
00:18:25,896 --> 00:18:27,690
How can you say such a thing?

400
00:18:27,815 --> 00:18:30,151
Why, that's a vicious,
slanderous accusation.

401
00:18:30,276 --> 00:18:32,069
That's defamation of character.

402
00:18:32,194 --> 00:18:34,071
I could take you
to court for that.

403
00:18:34,196 --> 00:18:38,451
Why, any judge
would... any jury would...

404
00:18:38,576 --> 00:18:45,583
I need a mouthpiece.

405
00:18:45,708 --> 00:18:48,878
That's Snake Kip's
test paper, isn't it?

406
00:18:49,003 --> 00:18:50,296
Yes, it is.

407
00:18:50,421 --> 00:18:51,297
Here it is, Miss Brooks.

408
00:18:51,422 --> 00:18:53,341
To do with as your
conscience dictates.

409
00:18:53,466 --> 00:18:55,760
You may either show it to
Mr. Cochran or you may burn it.

410
00:18:55,885 --> 00:18:58,679
Oh, now look, Mr. Warren...
How could you do it, Miss Brooks?

411
00:18:58,804 --> 00:19:02,308
Under the very gaze of the father of
our country, you have plumbed the depths

412
00:19:02,433 --> 00:19:06,312
of dishonesty by presenting a
fraudulent score of... Fraudulent my foot!

413
00:19:06,437 --> 00:19:09,940
All told, Snakey
actually did get 66.

414
00:19:10,066 --> 00:19:11,192
What do you mean, all told?

415
00:19:11,317 --> 00:19:13,277
Listen, Miss... Now
you listen to me.

416
00:19:13,402 --> 00:19:17,531
Mr. Conklin is our principal, and as
such, I must obey his instructions, right?

417
00:19:17,656 --> 00:19:20,951
Right, but... Before the test,
he instructed me to give Snake

418
00:19:21,077 --> 00:19:24,330
Hips the benefit of what he
did in the game of 1912, right?

419
00:19:24,455 --> 00:19:26,749
Right, but... How many points
did he score in that game?

420
00:19:26,874 --> 00:19:27,416
47.

421
00:19:27,541 --> 00:19:28,334
And in the test?

422
00:19:28,459 --> 00:19:29,126
19.

423
00:19:29,251 --> 00:19:36,258
If you will add 47 and
19, that is 66 in my book.

424
00:19:38,000 --> 00:19:44,074
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425
00:19:45,768 --> 00:19:48,979
And so Mr. Conklin has bestowed upon
me the great honor of presiding at these

426
00:19:49,105 --> 00:19:52,775
emergency commencement exercises for a
graduating class of one before the bus leaves.

427
00:19:58,739 --> 00:20:02,368
This is indeed a happy occasion.

428
00:20:09,291 --> 00:20:11,544
Yes, a very happy occasion.

429
00:20:11,669 --> 00:20:13,546
This man is our friend.

430
00:20:13,671 --> 00:20:17,842
He is diligent,
honest, and unselfish.

431
00:20:17,967 --> 00:20:24,932
And above all, he is true to the
cherished ideals of Madison High.

432
00:20:29,645 --> 00:20:35,025
And now for the
presentation of the diploma.

433
00:20:35,151 --> 00:20:36,735
Snake Hips, it's all yours.

434
00:20:36,861 --> 00:20:41,657
Thank you, Miss Brooks.

435
00:20:41,782 --> 00:20:43,576
If you folks don't mind,

436
00:20:43,701 --> 00:20:45,995
I'll wait for you
out in the hall.

437
00:20:46,120 --> 00:20:48,205
I seem to have
something in my eye.

438
00:20:48,330 --> 00:20:54,420
Poor old Ralph.

439
00:20:54,545 --> 00:20:56,672
He doesn't want to
break up in front of us.

440
00:20:56,797 --> 00:21:00,509
He probably went out in the
hall so he can blubber by himself.

441
00:21:00,634 --> 00:21:04,597
At a time like this, he needs
someone to comfort him.

442
00:21:04,722 --> 00:21:11,937
I'll just go out in the
hall and blubber with him.

443
00:21:12,062 --> 00:21:12,563
We'll all go.

444
00:21:12,688 --> 00:21:13,898
The buses are waiting.

445
00:21:14,023 --> 00:21:14,857
Come along, folks.

446
00:21:14,982 --> 00:21:15,941
Step lively, please.

447
00:21:16,066 --> 00:21:17,067
Come on, Mr. Boynton.

448
00:21:17,193 --> 00:21:17,985
Come on, Miss Brooks.

449
00:21:18,110 --> 00:21:20,738
I'll be right with you.

450
00:21:35,544 --> 00:21:42,551
You want to make
something of it?

451
00:21:52,269 --> 00:21:53,270
♪

452
00:21:58,025 --> 00:22:05,032
THE END

452
00:22:06,305 --> 00:23:06,528
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