1
00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:04,757
Previously... Your mother was in
a car accident this afternoon.

2
00:00:04,840 --> 00:00:06,317
Oh, my God, is she all right?

3
00:00:06,400 --> 00:00:07,597
She has no injuries.

4
00:00:07,680 --> 00:00:10,077
She was lucky. Luckier
than the pedestrian.

5
00:00:10,160 --> 00:00:12,397
She's been taken to
hospital, unconscious.

6
00:00:12,480 --> 00:00:14,477
And now you have to tell
the injured woman's family.

7
00:00:14,560 --> 00:00:16,720
Mark, about that...

8
00:00:18,360 --> 00:00:19,880
STEADY BEEPING

9
00:00:21,440 --> 00:00:23,437
I'm sorry, but I'm afraid

10
00:00:23,520 --> 00:00:25,437
I'm going to have to
turn the machine off.

11
00:00:25,520 --> 00:00:26,797
AUDIENCE: Aww!

12
00:00:26,880 --> 00:00:28,960
CONTINUOUS BEEP

13
00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:36,074
Watch Online Movies and Series for FREE
www.osdb.link/lm

14
00:00:40,640 --> 00:00:42,517
MRS BROWN CACKLES

15
00:00:42,600 --> 00:00:46,597
ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen,
welcome to Mrs Brown's Boys!

16
00:00:46,680 --> 00:00:49,477
♪ She's Mrs Brown Agnes

17
00:00:49,560 --> 00:00:52,717
♪ That's Mrs Brown Agnes

18
00:00:52,800 --> 00:00:55,040
♪ Our Mrs Brown. ♪

19
00:00:59,640 --> 00:01:00,960
She's gone.

20
00:01:02,640 --> 00:01:04,600
AUDIENCE GROANS

21
00:01:05,760 --> 00:01:07,000
GROANS

22
00:01:09,240 --> 00:01:11,557
Oh, for Christ's sake.

23
00:01:11,640 --> 00:01:13,797
Mammy! She's alive!

24
00:01:13,880 --> 00:01:15,237
ALL EXCLAIM

25
00:01:15,320 --> 00:01:16,637
CHEERING

26
00:01:16,720 --> 00:01:18,640
Yes, I-I think I got her back!

27
00:01:20,280 --> 00:01:22,637
Your mother was
never in any danger.

28
00:01:22,720 --> 00:01:24,797
The tests showed
that, at the worst,

29
00:01:24,880 --> 00:01:26,397
we could expect
a herniated disc,

30
00:01:26,480 --> 00:01:29,677
affected in the nucleus pulposus
and the lumbar vertebra.

31
00:01:29,760 --> 00:01:30,880
Exactly.

32
00:01:32,440 --> 00:01:34,157
But you said you had to
switch off the machine.

33
00:01:34,240 --> 00:01:35,397
That's the coffee machine,

34
00:01:35,480 --> 00:01:37,080
it makes the most
horrendous noise.

35
00:01:39,640 --> 00:01:41,797
Touch that coffee
machine, Dr Jekyll,

36
00:01:41,880 --> 00:01:43,757
and you'll be
dealing with Mrs Hyde

37
00:01:43,840 --> 00:01:45,600
and the fists of fury.

38
00:01:47,320 --> 00:01:49,597
Where am I? You're in
the hospital, Mrs Brown.

39
00:01:49,680 --> 00:01:52,480
What? Why? What happened?

40
00:01:54,520 --> 00:01:55,797
AUDIENCE: Ohh...

41
00:01:55,880 --> 00:01:58,400
Right, well, I'm off.

42
00:01:59,560 --> 00:02:01,117
Take me home, Sharon.

43
00:02:01,200 --> 00:02:02,640
I'm driving.

44
00:02:04,440 --> 00:02:07,717
Now, get me out of this
stuff and get me home.

45
00:02:07,800 --> 00:02:09,517
Not so fast, Mrs Brown,
doctor's orders -

46
00:02:09,600 --> 00:02:11,077
you need to stay in
overnight for observation.

47
00:02:11,160 --> 00:02:12,437
She's right, Mammy.

48
00:02:12,520 --> 00:02:15,597
Er, Cathy, would you mind
staying and doing some paperwork?

49
00:02:15,680 --> 00:02:17,600
But the rest of you have
to go, she needs rest.

50
00:02:23,360 --> 00:02:25,277
We got such a fright, Mammy.

51
00:02:25,360 --> 00:02:26,677
Really?

52
00:02:26,760 --> 00:02:29,397
Everybody was even
starting to talk

53
00:02:29,480 --> 00:02:31,997
about their happy
memories of Mammy.

54
00:02:32,080 --> 00:02:33,477
So, what were yours?

55
00:02:33,560 --> 00:02:34,880
What?

56
00:02:36,760 --> 00:02:38,517
Your happy memories.

57
00:02:38,600 --> 00:02:40,557
Oh, they were...

58
00:02:40,640 --> 00:02:41,677
Yeah?

59
00:02:41,760 --> 00:02:43,197
Well, you know...

60
00:02:43,280 --> 00:02:45,237
Go on, yeah.

61
00:02:45,320 --> 00:02:47,197
That time we went...

62
00:02:47,280 --> 00:02:49,717
Er, Cathy, would you mind
doing that paperwork now?

63
00:02:49,800 --> 00:02:51,040
Oh, I'm on my way.

64
00:02:54,480 --> 00:02:56,597
She's so good.

65
00:02:56,680 --> 00:02:58,157
I don't remember

66
00:02:58,240 --> 00:03:00,160
any buckin' happy
times with her.

67
00:03:05,440 --> 00:03:07,357
Mrs Brown will be home soon.

68
00:03:07,440 --> 00:03:09,277
I'll bet you're
looking forward to it.

69
00:03:09,360 --> 00:03:11,637
Yeah, I can't wait, Father.

70
00:03:11,720 --> 00:03:13,080
CHUCKLES

71
00:03:14,280 --> 00:03:15,440
Gobshite.

72
00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:19,197
Grandad is so excited
about Agnes coming home.

73
00:03:19,280 --> 00:03:20,557
Really?

74
00:03:20,640 --> 00:03:22,797
Yes. I'm a bit excited myself.

75
00:03:22,880 --> 00:03:25,437
HORN TOOTS That's
them. She's here.

76
00:03:25,520 --> 00:03:27,517
DERMOT: Come on,
Mammy, slowly does it.

77
00:03:27,600 --> 00:03:29,277
MRS BROWN: I'm going slow.

78
00:03:29,360 --> 00:03:31,237
Just get your leg over there.

79
00:03:31,320 --> 00:03:33,797
That's not the first
time you've done THAT.

80
00:03:33,880 --> 00:03:35,877
Shut up, you. Here,
let me help you.

81
00:03:35,960 --> 00:03:39,160
Get your hand off
my arse! Sorry.

82
00:03:42,160 --> 00:03:43,917
I got Mammy a mobility scooter.

83
00:03:44,000 --> 00:03:45,797
She's embarrassed about using it

84
00:03:45,880 --> 00:03:48,157
so don't make a big
deal about it, OK?

85
00:03:48,240 --> 00:03:50,240
Keep her coming,
keep her coming...

86
00:03:51,240 --> 00:03:52,637
Keep her coming.

87
00:03:52,720 --> 00:03:55,677
Left a bit, left a
bit. That's it. Keep...

88
00:03:55,760 --> 00:03:57,357
LOUD CRASH

89
00:03:57,440 --> 00:03:58,677
MEOW!

90
00:03:58,760 --> 00:04:00,160
Hold it there!

91
00:04:01,600 --> 00:04:03,677
Back her up, back her
up! REVERSING ALARM

92
00:04:03,760 --> 00:04:05,237
OK, straighten.

93
00:04:05,320 --> 00:04:06,677
OK, slowly,

94
00:04:06,760 --> 00:04:08,437
just put your hand
on the accelerator.

95
00:04:08,520 --> 00:04:10,437
Slowly, that's it.

96
00:04:10,520 --> 00:04:12,117
Come on, come, OK.

97
00:04:12,200 --> 00:04:13,437
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

98
00:04:13,520 --> 00:04:15,237
Jesus, Jesus, Jesus!

99
00:04:15,320 --> 00:04:16,920
Jesus, Jesus!

100
00:04:19,040 --> 00:04:20,917
CHEERING

101
00:04:21,000 --> 00:04:22,480
APPLAUSE

102
00:04:24,520 --> 00:04:25,960
SOFTLY: I'm home!

103
00:04:29,720 --> 00:04:33,040
I'm not happy about this
scooter thing, Dermot.

104
00:04:34,280 --> 00:04:36,040
Look at me, Dermot, I'm driving!

105
00:04:37,240 --> 00:04:38,397
You're doing great, Ma.

106
00:04:38,480 --> 00:04:39,677
This is fantastic.

107
00:04:39,760 --> 00:04:41,160
I'm going to pimp me ride.

108
00:04:42,480 --> 00:04:44,277
Please be careful, Mammy.

109
00:04:44,360 --> 00:04:46,197
Cathy, look at me, I'm free!

110
00:04:46,280 --> 00:04:48,157
Does she need a
licence for that thing?

111
00:04:48,240 --> 00:04:51,637
No! Should she not at least
be wearing a helmet, Dermot?

112
00:04:51,720 --> 00:04:54,357
Will you relax? She's fine.

113
00:04:54,440 --> 00:04:55,917
Yeah, Cathy, relax, will you?

114
00:04:56,000 --> 00:04:57,520
You're killing me buzz.

115
00:04:58,960 --> 00:05:01,997
Cathy, that scooter has all
the latest safety technology.

116
00:05:02,080 --> 00:05:03,597
It's almost uncrashable.

117
00:05:03,680 --> 00:05:05,117
CRASH!

118
00:05:05,200 --> 00:05:06,837
MRS BROWN WAILS

119
00:05:06,920 --> 00:05:08,520
You all heard me
- I said "almost".

120
00:05:09,640 --> 00:05:10,757
I'm fine! I'm fine!

121
00:05:10,840 --> 00:05:13,317
I'm telling you, Dermot,
she has no control

122
00:05:13,400 --> 00:05:15,037
over that thing. WHIRRING

123
00:05:15,120 --> 00:05:16,677
It's an accident
waiting to happen.

124
00:05:16,760 --> 00:05:18,997
Somebody is going to get...
I need to talk to yo use all.

125
00:05:19,080 --> 00:05:20,397
Jesus, Mammy!

126
00:05:20,480 --> 00:05:22,840
LAUGHTER REVERSING ALARM

127
00:05:26,240 --> 00:05:28,240
Youse have all been very kind.

128
00:05:30,040 --> 00:05:31,440
And I thank you.

129
00:05:33,960 --> 00:05:36,677
Now, I think my recovery's
going to be a short one.

130
00:05:36,760 --> 00:05:38,280
Oh...

131
00:05:39,520 --> 00:05:42,400
But I can't do very much so I'm
going to need a lot of help.

132
00:05:44,440 --> 00:05:46,120
With the house, you know.

133
00:05:47,560 --> 00:05:48,960
And with Grandad.

134
00:05:51,560 --> 00:05:53,717
Well, Ma, it's great
to have you back.

135
00:05:53,800 --> 00:05:54,997
But I have to get into work.

136
00:05:55,080 --> 00:05:56,317
Lift, Cathy?

137
00:05:56,400 --> 00:05:57,877
Yeah, us too. Come
on, Buster, let's go.

138
00:05:57,960 --> 00:06:00,117
Dermo, what about the surprise?

139
00:06:00,200 --> 00:06:02,637
Oh, yeah, we got
you a surprise, Ma.

140
00:06:02,720 --> 00:06:04,477
Really? What is it?

141
00:06:04,560 --> 00:06:06,880
You'll see. Come on, Buster.

142
00:06:15,520 --> 00:06:16,757
Goodbye now, Father.

143
00:06:16,840 --> 00:06:18,397
Right.

144
00:06:18,480 --> 00:06:21,317
Before I leave, Mrs Brown,
I'm delighted to tell you

145
00:06:21,400 --> 00:06:23,677
that the church
council of volunteers

146
00:06:23,760 --> 00:06:25,677
have decided to appoint
a home help to you

147
00:06:25,760 --> 00:06:26,957
until you're mobile again.

148
00:06:27,040 --> 00:06:29,637
Oh, thank you, Father,
cos I can't do very much.

149
00:06:29,720 --> 00:06:31,477
I understand.

150
00:06:31,560 --> 00:06:33,077
Take your time recovering.

151
00:06:33,160 --> 00:06:36,437
Oh, and we've a special section
at Mass for mobility scooters.

152
00:06:36,520 --> 00:06:38,520
Oh, that's nice.

153
00:06:49,080 --> 00:06:51,240
AUDIENCE: Ohh!

154
00:06:55,400 --> 00:06:56,960
Oh, a cup of tea.

155
00:06:59,520 --> 00:07:00,560
Hi, Agnes!

156
00:07:01,800 --> 00:07:02,957
Oh...

157
00:07:03,040 --> 00:07:04,957
Is that you, Winnie?

158
00:07:05,040 --> 00:07:07,037
Agnes, what are you doing, love?

159
00:07:07,120 --> 00:07:08,957
Winnie, I've been
here for half an hour.

160
00:07:09,040 --> 00:07:10,317
Oh, Jesus.

161
00:07:10,400 --> 00:07:12,877
I tried to get
over to the teapot,

162
00:07:12,960 --> 00:07:14,157
but I can't get back.

163
00:07:14,240 --> 00:07:16,797
Nonsense, Agnes, come
on, let me help you.

164
00:07:16,880 --> 00:07:18,160
Thanks, Winnie.

165
00:07:21,280 --> 00:07:24,037
You're supposed to
be taking it easy.

166
00:07:24,120 --> 00:07:25,800
I don't want to be
a burden to anyone.

167
00:07:27,320 --> 00:07:29,717
It's all my fault. Oh, now, now.

168
00:07:29,800 --> 00:07:31,200
Yeah, yeah, you...

169
00:07:32,400 --> 00:07:34,877
Look, I'll see you later,
love. See you, Winnie.

170
00:07:34,960 --> 00:07:36,517
Winnie, would you put me
bin out on your way out?

171
00:07:36,600 --> 00:07:38,477
Oh, Agnes, that's very heavy.

172
00:07:38,560 --> 00:07:40,677
Yeah, I wouldn't ask
you, except it's...

173
00:07:40,760 --> 00:07:42,040
...your fault.

174
00:07:48,160 --> 00:07:49,600
CACKLES

175
00:07:56,320 --> 00:07:58,557
What's this?

176
00:07:58,640 --> 00:08:00,880
The President's Kama Sutra...?

177
00:08:04,000 --> 00:08:05,517
Hey...

178
00:08:05,600 --> 00:08:06,880
GASPS

179
00:08:08,840 --> 00:08:10,040
Hello.

180
00:08:11,320 --> 00:08:13,597
Listen to this.

181
00:08:13,680 --> 00:08:16,117
"Feeling the warmth of
his breath on my neck"

182
00:08:16,200 --> 00:08:18,040
"caused me to melt."

183
00:08:22,760 --> 00:08:26,480
"His hand moved gently
over... my quivering stomach."

184
00:08:27,600 --> 00:08:30,040
"While his fingers
playfully tugged at my..."

185
00:08:32,720 --> 00:08:34,200
"..Ear lobe"?

186
00:08:35,280 --> 00:08:36,640
Feck's sake.

187
00:08:38,440 --> 00:08:40,080
"He looked me in the eyes..."

188
00:08:43,120 --> 00:08:44,597
"..And whispered..."

189
00:08:44,680 --> 00:08:45,920
GRUFF VOICE: Agnes?

190
00:08:51,600 --> 00:08:53,000
Yes, Mr President?

191
00:08:54,560 --> 00:08:57,317
Agnes! What the
feck do you want?!

192
00:08:57,400 --> 00:08:59,357
My hairbrush got tangled.

193
00:08:59,440 --> 00:09:02,120
Can't you see I'm busy
over here getting fondled?

194
00:09:03,320 --> 00:09:05,197
CATHY: Mammy, did you
take my book again?

195
00:09:05,280 --> 00:09:07,080
N-No.

196
00:09:08,080 --> 00:09:09,717
Stay where you
are, party's over.

197
00:09:09,800 --> 00:09:11,677
I can't find it anywhere!

198
00:09:11,760 --> 00:09:13,640
Well, I'll have a look for it.

199
00:09:15,440 --> 00:09:17,080
GRUNTS

200
00:09:21,320 --> 00:09:22,957
Luc hasn't got it, no,

201
00:09:23,040 --> 00:09:24,477
Ewen hasn't got it.

202
00:09:24,560 --> 00:09:26,037
Wait a minute...

203
00:09:26,120 --> 00:09:27,557
Ewen!

204
00:09:27,640 --> 00:09:29,717
You baldy...

205
00:09:29,800 --> 00:09:32,840
No, none of the
cameramen have it.

206
00:09:34,160 --> 00:09:35,677
Though I think, from
listening to me,

207
00:09:35,760 --> 00:09:37,600
they do have an erection.

208
00:09:39,960 --> 00:09:41,560
CRASH!

209
00:09:42,680 --> 00:09:45,197
Oh, Cathy, here it is in
the... in the kitchen.

210
00:09:45,280 --> 00:09:47,040
Thanks, Mammy!

211
00:09:48,120 --> 00:09:49,797
No problem.

212
00:09:49,880 --> 00:09:52,637
I'll never get to finish
this buckin' book.

213
00:09:52,720 --> 00:09:53,837
Hiya, Agnes.

214
00:09:53,920 --> 00:09:56,237
Hello, girls! Hi, Agnes.

215
00:09:56,320 --> 00:09:57,677
Where yo use off to?

216
00:09:57,760 --> 00:09:59,677
Down the village,

217
00:09:59,760 --> 00:10:01,757
to get you a "sorry" card.

218
00:10:01,840 --> 00:10:03,640
Winnie, enough is enough.

219
00:10:06,360 --> 00:10:08,277
I forgive you.

220
00:10:08,360 --> 00:10:11,157
Well, how else can I
tell you how sorry I am?

221
00:10:11,240 --> 00:10:12,317
Try cash.

222
00:10:12,400 --> 00:10:14,440
CHUCKLING

223
00:10:16,080 --> 00:10:18,197
Anyway, Birdie wants to
go and have a coffee.

224
00:10:18,280 --> 00:10:19,957
Here, I'll get you a
coffee here, I'll make...

225
00:10:20,040 --> 00:10:21,077
Oh, no, no, Agnes.

226
00:10:21,160 --> 00:10:23,477
Wash & Blow got a fancy new
coffee machine installed

227
00:10:23,560 --> 00:10:25,077
and they're complimentary.

228
00:10:25,160 --> 00:10:27,117
You can't just walk in off
the street and get a coffee.

229
00:10:27,200 --> 00:10:28,677
Want a bet?

230
00:10:28,760 --> 00:10:31,160
She's been going
there all week, Agnes.

231
00:10:32,200 --> 00:10:33,597
Here, what's this?

232
00:10:33,680 --> 00:10:37,997
Oh, Winnie, it's a book
about a KGB agent, right,

233
00:10:38,080 --> 00:10:40,317
who's trying to seduce
the President's wife.

234
00:10:40,400 --> 00:10:42,197
Oh...! Now, as it turns out,

235
00:10:42,280 --> 00:10:44,120
the President's wife is
a bit of a bike anyway.

236
00:10:45,440 --> 00:10:48,237
I'll stop you there, Agnes,
that does nothing for me, love.

237
00:10:48,320 --> 00:10:50,317
Well, it does for me, I tell ya.

238
00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:52,280
That book is a
real knee-knocker.

239
00:10:54,440 --> 00:10:57,520
If I could feel me knees
after me spinal injury.

240
00:11:00,720 --> 00:11:03,637
Jesus, Mammy, Grandad's
badly in need of a haircut.

241
00:11:03,720 --> 00:11:05,717
I know, he's like Gandalf
the Grey in there.

242
00:11:05,800 --> 00:11:07,720
You dirty bitch!

243
00:11:11,880 --> 00:11:13,597
Are you all right there?

244
00:11:13,680 --> 00:11:15,997
Oh, yeah, yeah.

245
00:11:16,080 --> 00:11:17,237
Can I borrow this?

246
00:11:17,320 --> 00:11:20,397
No, I'm only halfway
through the feckin' thing.

247
00:11:20,480 --> 00:11:22,637
And I'm not even finished it.

248
00:11:22,720 --> 00:11:25,400
That's my novel for
our book club, Mammy.

249
00:11:31,440 --> 00:11:33,077
DREAMLIKE MUSICAL FLOURISH

250
00:11:33,160 --> 00:11:34,920
Barbara!

251
00:11:36,800 --> 00:11:39,317
How are you, Mrs
Brown? Hello, Barbara.

252
00:11:39,400 --> 00:11:40,637
I don't have you
booked in for today.

253
00:11:40,720 --> 00:11:43,317
No, no, it's not me, it's
Grandad needs a trim.

254
00:11:43,400 --> 00:11:44,557
No, Mrs Brown.

255
00:11:44,640 --> 00:11:46,597
He wrecked the salon last
year trying to escape.

256
00:11:46,680 --> 00:11:49,397
I promise you, he'll be on his best
behaviour this year. Won't you?

257
00:11:49,480 --> 00:11:51,357
Yeah, yeah.

258
00:11:51,440 --> 00:11:53,957
I promise, when we leave here,
the place is gonna be spotless.

259
00:11:54,040 --> 00:11:55,077
OK.

260
00:11:55,160 --> 00:11:56,717
Come on, then, Grandad.

261
00:11:56,800 --> 00:11:58,037
Thank you, Barbara.

262
00:11:58,120 --> 00:11:59,757
Help yourselves
to coffee, ladies.

263
00:11:59,840 --> 00:12:01,160
I'm first!

264
00:12:03,680 --> 00:12:04,997
Agnes, darling!

265
00:12:05,080 --> 00:12:06,160
Oh, shite.

266
00:12:07,160 --> 00:12:09,197
Hello, Hidily.
Hello, Maria, love.

267
00:12:09,280 --> 00:12:11,477
Hello, Mrs Brown. Great news.

268
00:12:11,560 --> 00:12:14,317
The church volunteers have
approved you for a home help

269
00:12:14,400 --> 00:12:16,837
two days a week. Is that
Wednesday and Friday?

270
00:12:16,920 --> 00:12:19,840
Well, actually Monday and
Thursday suit me best.

271
00:12:21,200 --> 00:12:22,880
AUDIENCE: Ohh...!

272
00:12:24,240 --> 00:12:25,757
Suits YOU? Mm.

273
00:12:25,840 --> 00:12:28,357
Yes. I'm it, I'm your home aid.

274
00:12:28,440 --> 00:12:29,840
Aren't you lucky?

275
00:12:31,320 --> 00:12:33,037
You're so good for
volunteering, Mother.

276
00:12:33,120 --> 00:12:34,760
Isn't she, Mrs Brown?

277
00:12:37,760 --> 00:12:40,197
Yes, I was just thinking that...

278
00:12:40,280 --> 00:12:41,640
That's nice.

279
00:12:42,720 --> 00:12:44,517
Excuse me, Mrs Brown. Mother,
I won't be long, I just

280
00:12:44,600 --> 00:12:46,557
want to have a word with Barbara
before we go to the shops.

281
00:12:46,640 --> 00:12:48,557
Oh, you take as long
as you like, Maria,

282
00:12:48,640 --> 00:12:49,797
I'll just be sitting here

283
00:12:49,880 --> 00:12:53,037
catching up with my
favourite home-help client

284
00:12:53,120 --> 00:12:55,077
and a beautiful lady.

285
00:12:55,160 --> 00:12:57,437
That's a lovely thing to say,
Hilliary, thank you very much.

286
00:12:57,520 --> 00:13:00,077
I was talking about
the President's wife.

287
00:13:00,160 --> 00:13:02,197
I walked into that
one, didn't I?

288
00:13:02,280 --> 00:13:04,000
You really did.

289
00:13:05,520 --> 00:13:06,917
Morning, all!

290
00:13:07,000 --> 00:13:08,557
Hello, Father Damien.
What brings you in?

291
00:13:08,640 --> 00:13:11,357
You know me, Mrs Brown,
just doing the Lord's work.

292
00:13:11,440 --> 00:13:13,477
The usual, Father?
Please, Birdie.

293
00:13:13,560 --> 00:13:14,917
Mocha frappuccino.

294
00:13:15,000 --> 00:13:19,117
Ooh! Could I get one of
those? But with an extra shot.

295
00:13:19,200 --> 00:13:20,600
From a rifle.

296
00:13:22,400 --> 00:13:24,637
Hidily, it's not Starbucks.

297
00:13:24,720 --> 00:13:27,277
I've got a mocha
frappuccino here

298
00:13:27,360 --> 00:13:28,880
for Demon.

299
00:13:30,880 --> 00:13:32,117
Thank you, Birdie.

300
00:13:32,200 --> 00:13:33,717
Well, what's this, Father?

301
00:13:33,800 --> 00:13:35,637
Oh, I have to proofread
the parish newsletter

302
00:13:35,720 --> 00:13:38,397
before it goes to print. This
will be the final edition.

303
00:13:38,480 --> 00:13:40,557
What the devil are
you babbling about?

304
00:13:40,640 --> 00:13:42,357
It's gotten too
expensive to produce.

305
00:13:42,440 --> 00:13:44,277
But, to be honest, my
heart isn't in it -

306
00:13:44,360 --> 00:13:46,797
I don't think anyone even
reads the newsletter any more.

307
00:13:46,880 --> 00:13:48,877
I do. I look forward
to it every week.

308
00:13:48,960 --> 00:13:51,077
CLATTERING

309
00:13:51,160 --> 00:13:52,637
Grandad!

310
00:13:52,720 --> 00:13:54,117
Grandad!

311
00:13:54,200 --> 00:13:56,637
Mrs Brown, Grandad
escaped - again.

312
00:13:56,720 --> 00:13:59,000
I saw. I'm on me way, hang on.

313
00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:02,677
Sorry, excuse me,

314
00:14:02,760 --> 00:14:05,557
sorry, sorry. REVERSING ALARM

315
00:14:05,640 --> 00:14:07,000
Oh, for fuck's sake.

316
00:14:09,520 --> 00:14:11,160
Oh, shite!

317
00:14:12,560 --> 00:14:14,317
Oh, sorry, Winnie, sorry, sorry.

318
00:14:14,400 --> 00:14:16,960
I don't know what's wrong
with this feckin' thing.

319
00:14:20,640 --> 00:14:22,400
APPLAUSE

320
00:14:23,680 --> 00:14:24,840
Barbara!

321
00:14:26,280 --> 00:14:28,037
I found this outside.

322
00:14:28,120 --> 00:14:29,917
Waste not, want not, love.

323
00:14:30,000 --> 00:14:32,120
REVERSING ALARM

324
00:14:40,160 --> 00:14:42,717
I've been thinking about
that newsletter all day.

325
00:14:42,800 --> 00:14:45,120
Me too. Me too.

326
00:14:47,120 --> 00:14:48,240
Nope.

327
00:14:50,520 --> 00:14:51,720
Father Damien, sit down.

328
00:14:52,720 --> 00:14:55,357
Father, you really have to
keep the newsletter going.

329
00:14:55,440 --> 00:14:56,837
I'm afraid I can't.

330
00:14:56,920 --> 00:14:58,877
But how are we going to know
what's happening in the parish?

331
00:14:58,960 --> 00:15:00,477
You could come to Mass.

332
00:15:00,560 --> 00:15:01,997
CACKLES

333
00:15:02,080 --> 00:15:04,797
Father, this is no time
for jokes. Seriously!

334
00:15:04,880 --> 00:15:07,557
Agnes is right.

335
00:15:07,640 --> 00:15:10,757
Parochial communication is
essential for the betterment

336
00:15:10,840 --> 00:15:13,640
and elaboration of a
community's consciousness.

337
00:15:16,840 --> 00:15:19,757
As a member of the community,
I need to be kept in the loop.

338
00:15:19,840 --> 00:15:21,317
That's what I said.

339
00:15:21,400 --> 00:15:23,320
Yeah, but I said it
in buckin' English.

340
00:15:24,320 --> 00:15:26,677
Father, you must do
everything in your power

341
00:15:26,760 --> 00:15:28,157
to keep that newsletter going.

342
00:15:28,240 --> 00:15:29,637
I want to, but I just can't see

343
00:15:29,720 --> 00:15:31,560
how to make it
financially viable.

344
00:15:32,600 --> 00:15:35,277
You could sell advertisements
to local business,

345
00:15:35,360 --> 00:15:37,237
that'd help pay
for the printing.

346
00:15:37,320 --> 00:15:38,837
Oh, excellent, Agnes.

347
00:15:38,920 --> 00:15:40,597
And to improve readership,

348
00:15:40,680 --> 00:15:42,637
you should ask
somebody local to write

349
00:15:42,720 --> 00:15:45,557
some interesting articles that
would keep people interested.

350
00:15:45,640 --> 00:15:47,237
That's a great idea.

351
00:15:47,320 --> 00:15:50,157
Yes. Er, somebody the
community looks up to.

352
00:15:50,240 --> 00:15:53,517
Exactly. It would need to
be someone of importance,

353
00:15:53,600 --> 00:15:56,557
someone who has interesting
things to say...

354
00:15:56,640 --> 00:15:58,160
All right, I'll do it.

355
00:15:59,400 --> 00:16:01,037
Thank you, Mrs Brown.

356
00:16:01,120 --> 00:16:03,677
Oh, now, hold on
a moment, Father!

357
00:16:03,760 --> 00:16:05,357
I'll start approaching
local businesses.

358
00:16:05,440 --> 00:16:07,637
No, no, no, no, Father,
hold on a second!

359
00:16:07,720 --> 00:16:09,677
Seriously?!

360
00:16:09,760 --> 00:16:11,280
Gobshite.

361
00:16:15,800 --> 00:16:17,717
INTERNALLY: "I gazed
in astonishment."

362
00:16:17,800 --> 00:16:21,077
"It was so much larger
than my husband's."

363
00:16:21,160 --> 00:16:23,437
"Reaching out with
a trembling hand,"

364
00:16:23,520 --> 00:16:26,480
"I grasped hold
of his massive..."

365
00:16:28,240 --> 00:16:29,480
"..Nose"?!

366
00:16:30,880 --> 00:16:32,237
I know, Father,

367
00:16:32,320 --> 00:16:34,957
I was expecting cock
as well. LAUGHTER

368
00:16:35,040 --> 00:16:37,877
APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

369
00:16:37,960 --> 00:16:39,717
How is she, Dr Flynn?

370
00:16:39,800 --> 00:16:41,160
CRACK!

371
00:16:42,440 --> 00:16:45,357
Er, progressing nicely.
Nothing to worry about.

372
00:16:45,440 --> 00:16:46,517
Oh, Cathy,

373
00:16:46,600 --> 00:16:48,837
I've got a lovely bottle
of red for tonight.

374
00:16:48,920 --> 00:16:50,957
Really? I can't wait.

375
00:16:51,040 --> 00:16:53,157
Why? What's tonight? Book club.

376
00:16:53,240 --> 00:16:54,837
It's my turn to host.

377
00:16:54,920 --> 00:16:56,280
Oh, spare me now.

378
00:16:57,360 --> 00:16:59,157
Cup of tea, Father? No,
thank you, Mrs Brown.

379
00:16:59,240 --> 00:17:00,557
DOOR CLOSES I just called in

380
00:17:00,640 --> 00:17:02,117
to collect your article
for the parish newsletter.

381
00:17:02,200 --> 00:17:03,837
I haven't even
started it, Father.

382
00:17:03,920 --> 00:17:06,157
We need something,
Mrs Brown, and soon.

383
00:17:06,240 --> 00:17:07,717
The printers are waiting,

384
00:17:07,800 --> 00:17:10,357
and I've already lined
up four advertisers.

385
00:17:10,440 --> 00:17:12,557
I can't think of
anything to write.

386
00:17:12,640 --> 00:17:13,797
How about a diary

387
00:17:13,880 --> 00:17:16,197
on your day-to-day
life living in Finglas?

388
00:17:16,280 --> 00:17:18,397
No, we more or less
have that covered

389
00:17:18,480 --> 00:17:19,800
in the TV series.

390
00:17:21,320 --> 00:17:23,077
Hey, Ma, what about writing

391
00:17:23,160 --> 00:17:25,557
about the dangers of
mobility scooters?

392
00:17:25,640 --> 00:17:27,277
Shut up!

393
00:17:27,360 --> 00:17:28,877
I know what I'll write.

394
00:17:28,960 --> 00:17:31,077
I'll write about the
tradesmen in Finglas

395
00:17:31,160 --> 00:17:32,957
who can't shut the buck up.

396
00:17:33,040 --> 00:17:34,157
Ha-ha.

397
00:17:34,240 --> 00:17:36,517
Well, you've carte
blanche, Mrs Brown.

398
00:17:36,600 --> 00:17:37,997
I beg your pardon?

399
00:17:38,080 --> 00:17:39,837
I mean you can write
whatever you like.

400
00:17:39,920 --> 00:17:42,517
I'm sure you'll come up with
something - you always do.

401
00:17:42,600 --> 00:17:44,797
Thanks very much, Father.

402
00:17:44,880 --> 00:17:47,157
You've been no buckin' help.

403
00:17:47,240 --> 00:17:48,957
All right, Agnes,

404
00:17:49,040 --> 00:17:52,637
I've made the bed,
I've vacuumed the hall,

405
00:17:52,720 --> 00:17:56,637
the stairs, the landing,
I've washed out the bath

406
00:17:56,720 --> 00:17:59,477
and I've unblocked
the downstairs loo.

407
00:17:59,560 --> 00:18:01,477
So, I think that's everything.

408
00:18:01,560 --> 00:18:02,837
That's it. Yes.

409
00:18:02,920 --> 00:18:04,357
Except for, um,

410
00:18:04,440 --> 00:18:06,000
the washing.

411
00:18:09,360 --> 00:18:10,837
OK. Where is it?

412
00:18:10,920 --> 00:18:12,717
It's in the utility
room in the back.

413
00:18:12,800 --> 00:18:13,960
Right.

414
00:18:15,160 --> 00:18:17,357
WAILS: Oh, for goodness' sake!

415
00:18:17,440 --> 00:18:19,320
Oh... Oh...! CACKLES

416
00:18:25,280 --> 00:18:27,277
Now, Hidily, don't go
mad with the ironing,

417
00:18:27,360 --> 00:18:28,677
just don't iron the tea towels.

418
00:18:28,760 --> 00:18:30,997
How many tea towels are there?

419
00:18:31,080 --> 00:18:32,320
Two.

420
00:18:35,200 --> 00:18:38,400
Goodbye, Hilliary. Thank you
very much, you're very kind.

421
00:18:47,080 --> 00:18:48,920
Mr President, I'm back!

422
00:18:52,880 --> 00:18:55,397
You don't mind me hosting
book club here, Mammy, do you?

423
00:18:55,480 --> 00:18:56,637
I couldn't give a shite,

424
00:18:56,720 --> 00:18:58,757
but I'll take that book
off you when you finish it.

425
00:18:58,840 --> 00:19:00,757
You can have it now.
I finished it earlier.

426
00:19:00,840 --> 00:19:02,997
Oh, lovely, that's
my evening sorted.

427
00:19:03,080 --> 00:19:04,717
You're really enjoying
it, aren't ya?

428
00:19:04,800 --> 00:19:07,557
Oh, er, I love the way the
author builds the suspense

429
00:19:07,640 --> 00:19:10,197
but without rushing, you know,

430
00:19:10,280 --> 00:19:12,357
and the evocative prose he uses

431
00:19:12,440 --> 00:19:14,277
and the
thought-provoking themes.

432
00:19:14,360 --> 00:19:15,917
Wow, Mammy.

433
00:19:16,000 --> 00:19:18,680
And there's loads of
hooring in it, I love that.

434
00:19:20,520 --> 00:19:22,357
You'd love book club, you know.

435
00:19:22,440 --> 00:19:23,877
Cathy, I don't
need to read a book

436
00:19:23,960 --> 00:19:25,800
or join the club
to make friends.

437
00:19:26,920 --> 00:19:29,517
Well, there's always
plenty of scandal.

438
00:19:29,600 --> 00:19:32,077
Really? Yeah, Mammy,

439
00:19:32,160 --> 00:19:34,677
and you do love
a bit of scandal.

440
00:19:34,760 --> 00:19:35,757
Well...

441
00:19:35,840 --> 00:19:37,517
Yeah, I do, Yes, I do.

442
00:19:37,600 --> 00:19:38,997
Oh, Mammy!

443
00:19:39,080 --> 00:19:40,960
We've got a surprise for you.

444
00:19:45,680 --> 00:19:47,437
Ta-da!

445
00:19:47,520 --> 00:19:48,637
Where's me chair?

446
00:19:48,720 --> 00:19:51,197
This is your new
chair, Mrs Brown.

447
00:19:51,280 --> 00:19:53,997
I don't want a new
chair, Buster Brady.

448
00:19:54,080 --> 00:19:55,997
Well, Ma, you will
like this one.

449
00:19:56,080 --> 00:19:58,637
I got it second hand
but it's working fine.

450
00:19:58,720 --> 00:19:59,957
I hate it.

451
00:20:00,040 --> 00:20:01,720
WHIRRING

452
00:20:09,240 --> 00:20:10,640
I love it.

453
00:20:14,640 --> 00:20:16,600
There you go. Thanks, pet.

454
00:20:18,400 --> 00:20:19,560
Sugar, Agnes?

455
00:20:21,760 --> 00:20:23,480
REVERSING ALARM

456
00:20:26,640 --> 00:20:28,317
Writer's block, they call it.

457
00:20:28,400 --> 00:20:29,517
Mm.

458
00:20:29,600 --> 00:20:31,560
REVERSING ALARM

459
00:20:35,800 --> 00:20:36,840
Lovely.

460
00:20:38,080 --> 00:20:39,680
No biscuits, Agnes? No?

461
00:20:42,520 --> 00:20:44,400
REVERSING ALARM

462
00:20:48,320 --> 00:20:50,917
And then Cathy told me
about the book club.

463
00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:52,757
Mm-hm? CHUCKLES

464
00:20:52,840 --> 00:20:54,637
REVERSING ALARM

465
00:20:54,720 --> 00:20:56,560
That's when it struck me.

466
00:21:00,360 --> 00:21:01,877
I'm going to write
a gossip column.

467
00:21:01,960 --> 00:21:04,797
Do you know? I'd
read that, Agnes.

468
00:21:04,880 --> 00:21:07,317
Everybody would.
Isn't Cathy very good,

469
00:21:07,400 --> 00:21:10,277
letting you into her book
club to get all the goss?

470
00:21:10,360 --> 00:21:11,997
No, no, I'm not telling Cathy.

471
00:21:12,080 --> 00:21:13,520
No, I'm going to go undercover.

472
00:21:15,360 --> 00:21:17,320
Like Boris Dildenski.

473
00:21:18,320 --> 00:21:19,517
Who's he?

474
00:21:19,600 --> 00:21:21,117
He's the spy in the book.

475
00:21:21,200 --> 00:21:22,997
Oh... He walks in the shadows,

476
00:21:23,080 --> 00:21:25,397
and he travels the
world silently.

477
00:21:25,480 --> 00:21:28,437
Oh... And he uses a wire
to gather information.

478
00:21:28,520 --> 00:21:29,837
What's a wire?

479
00:21:29,920 --> 00:21:32,077
In the spy business, we call it

480
00:21:32,160 --> 00:21:33,400
a bug.

481
00:21:34,760 --> 00:21:36,517
And where would you get
one of those, Agnes?

482
00:21:36,600 --> 00:21:38,677
I don't know. Mm...

483
00:21:38,760 --> 00:21:40,600
But I think I know
somebody who might.

484
00:21:41,960 --> 00:21:43,320
Buster Brady.

485
00:21:51,760 --> 00:21:53,117
Buster?

486
00:21:53,200 --> 00:21:54,720
Hello.

487
00:21:56,080 --> 00:21:57,437
Call me Karlos with a K.

488
00:21:57,520 --> 00:21:58,597
Why a K?

489
00:21:58,680 --> 00:22:00,557
Cos I'm a special agent, get it?

490
00:22:00,640 --> 00:22:01,877
No.

491
00:22:01,960 --> 00:22:03,640
Special K.

492
00:22:07,800 --> 00:22:11,517
I need a listening device
to secretly record people.

493
00:22:11,600 --> 00:22:13,157
I have just the thing.

494
00:22:13,240 --> 00:22:16,277
A 4K digital microphone,
made in Mexico,

495
00:22:16,360 --> 00:22:18,117
the hub of the tech industry.

496
00:22:18,200 --> 00:22:20,957
Is it discreet? Nobody'll
suspect a thing, Mrs Brown.

497
00:22:21,040 --> 00:22:23,280
Don't call me Mrs Brown.

498
00:22:24,480 --> 00:22:26,360
Call me... Marietta.

499
00:22:28,280 --> 00:22:30,717
Nobody'll suspect
a thing, Marietta.

500
00:22:30,800 --> 00:22:33,120
It's hidden in the rim of a hat.

501
00:22:37,360 --> 00:22:39,680
CLATTERING

502
00:22:50,520 --> 00:22:51,757
Hello.

503
00:22:51,840 --> 00:22:53,357
Is this it?

504
00:22:53,440 --> 00:22:55,840
No, it's rubbish, just
put it in the other bin.

505
00:22:59,400 --> 00:23:01,117
PANTS

506
00:23:01,200 --> 00:23:04,797
And, silently, she
vanished into the night.

507
00:23:04,880 --> 00:23:06,357
CACKLES QUIETLY

508
00:23:06,440 --> 00:23:08,920
REVERSING ALARM

509
00:23:11,200 --> 00:23:12,717
LOUD CRASH

510
00:23:12,800 --> 00:23:14,840
DOG BARKS

511
00:23:18,200 --> 00:23:19,280
QUIET CHATTER

512
00:23:25,000 --> 00:23:26,077
You all right, Mammy?

513
00:23:26,160 --> 00:23:27,720
Si, senorita!

514
00:23:29,920 --> 00:23:31,797
Are we going to
talk about the hat?

515
00:23:31,880 --> 00:23:33,437
What hat?

516
00:23:33,520 --> 00:23:35,117
Oh!

517
00:23:35,200 --> 00:23:36,917
I saw this in Vogue,

518
00:23:37,000 --> 00:23:39,440
they're going to be all
the rage this season.

519
00:23:41,000 --> 00:23:42,517
Testes, one, two,

520
00:23:42,600 --> 00:23:45,600
testing, uno, dos,
uno, dos, tres.

521
00:23:47,640 --> 00:23:48,957
Right, are we starting or what?

522
00:23:49,040 --> 00:23:50,277
Yes.

523
00:23:50,360 --> 00:23:52,437
So, what's everyone's opinion
of the book this week?

524
00:23:52,520 --> 00:23:54,157
Well, I thought it was...

525
00:23:54,240 --> 00:23:57,397
Terrible. A tedious read that
failed to capture my interest

526
00:23:57,480 --> 00:23:59,957
or deliver any
meaningful substance.

527
00:24:00,040 --> 00:24:02,037
Yeah, it was muck,
but in a good way.

528
00:24:02,120 --> 00:24:04,157
Were we all reading
the same book?

529
00:24:04,240 --> 00:24:06,037
I thought it was fabulous.

530
00:24:06,120 --> 00:24:08,957
Yeah, but Mrs Brown, did you
buy into the relationship

531
00:24:09,040 --> 00:24:10,477
between the two protagonists?

532
00:24:10,560 --> 00:24:12,797
Yes! You know, he was handsome,

533
00:24:12,880 --> 00:24:15,000
she was horny. Works for me.

534
00:24:16,880 --> 00:24:20,957
Seriously, Mammy, at one stage
they made love in a coal shed.

535
00:24:21,040 --> 00:24:22,237
Who does that?

536
00:24:22,320 --> 00:24:23,480
Yes.

537
00:24:26,200 --> 00:24:27,760
Me and your father, Cathy.

538
00:24:29,080 --> 00:24:31,320
Every Tuesday night
after the darts.

539
00:24:32,640 --> 00:24:34,197
She's kidding.

540
00:24:34,280 --> 00:24:35,637
I'm not kidding.

541
00:24:35,720 --> 00:24:37,960
How do you think your
father got the black lung?

542
00:24:40,360 --> 00:24:43,957
OK, let's get back to it.
The President's Kama Sutra.

543
00:24:44,040 --> 00:24:45,757
Well, it was a piece of trash,

544
00:24:45,840 --> 00:24:48,517
not worth the paper it
was written on, too dirty.

545
00:24:48,600 --> 00:24:49,757
What's it called again?

546
00:24:49,840 --> 00:24:52,157
Hilliary, I saw you reading
it, you were loving it.

547
00:24:52,240 --> 00:24:54,120
Well, I gave it every chance.

548
00:24:55,240 --> 00:24:57,757
Seriously, the book,
what's it called?

549
00:24:57,840 --> 00:25:00,437
Father Damien, you loved it.

550
00:25:00,520 --> 00:25:02,517
And what about you, Dr Flynn?

551
00:25:02,600 --> 00:25:06,557
Oh, well, yes, I-I do take
Mrs Nicholson's point but...

552
00:25:06,640 --> 00:25:08,037
Well, that's that, then.

553
00:25:08,120 --> 00:25:09,237
Review over.

554
00:25:09,320 --> 00:25:11,117
We've only just started.

555
00:25:11,200 --> 00:25:13,117
So, did you hear the rumour?

556
00:25:13,200 --> 00:25:14,357
Scratch that.

557
00:25:14,440 --> 00:25:16,240
What, what, what, what rumour?

558
00:25:17,920 --> 00:25:20,517
Well, one of the
local policemen is

559
00:25:20,600 --> 00:25:21,717
moonlighting as a stripper.

560
00:25:21,800 --> 00:25:22,997
AUDIENCE MEMBERS WOLF WHISTLE

561
00:25:23,080 --> 00:25:25,640
-No!
-I wouldn't mind booking HIM!

562
00:25:26,920 --> 00:25:28,597
Hold on, Sharon.

563
00:25:28,680 --> 00:25:30,997
COUGHS

564
00:25:31,080 --> 00:25:32,957
Testes, one, two.

565
00:25:33,040 --> 00:25:36,717
-Say that again.
-I wouldn't mind booking HIM.

566
00:25:36,800 --> 00:25:39,840
Yes, I've heard you
like a man in a uniform.

567
00:25:41,960 --> 00:25:43,557
What's that supposed to mean?

568
00:25:43,640 --> 00:25:46,557
Oh, for God's sake.
REVERSING ALARM

569
00:25:46,640 --> 00:25:49,237
Nothing, it's just a rumour.

570
00:25:49,320 --> 00:25:52,117
Can yo use all not
talk at the same time?

571
00:25:52,200 --> 00:25:53,357
I'm not on wheel...

572
00:25:53,440 --> 00:25:54,797
No, well, I am on wheels.

573
00:25:54,880 --> 00:25:57,717
I-I can't be in two
places at one time.

574
00:25:57,800 --> 00:26:00,677
Now, look, just
for clarity, Maria,

575
00:26:00,760 --> 00:26:03,317
you were talking about
Garda Fergusson, am I right?

576
00:26:03,400 --> 00:26:07,757
Well... I heard a very salacious
story at my surgery the other day.

577
00:26:07,840 --> 00:26:08,920
Hold it!

578
00:26:10,120 --> 00:26:11,797
BEEPING

579
00:26:11,880 --> 00:26:13,317
MOTOR SLOWS AND STOPS

580
00:26:13,400 --> 00:26:14,677
Feck's sake.

581
00:26:14,760 --> 00:26:17,797
LAUGHTER

582
00:26:17,880 --> 00:26:20,440
APPLAUSE

583
00:26:21,920 --> 00:26:23,317
Mrs Brown!

584
00:26:23,400 --> 00:26:24,920
You're walking!

585
00:26:26,480 --> 00:26:27,757
Oh, my God, I can walk!

586
00:26:27,840 --> 00:26:29,357
I can walk!

587
00:26:29,440 --> 00:26:31,077
It's a miracle!

588
00:26:31,160 --> 00:26:33,277
It's a "miracaley"!

589
00:26:33,360 --> 00:26:34,997
It's a miracle.

590
00:26:35,080 --> 00:26:36,277
Amazing!

591
00:26:36,360 --> 00:26:37,477
Oh, my God.

592
00:26:37,560 --> 00:26:39,597
I don't have to clean!

593
00:26:39,680 --> 00:26:41,800
I cured her! Again!

594
00:26:43,280 --> 00:26:44,960
That's nice.

595
00:26:52,120 --> 00:26:55,277
♪ Cucaracha, cucaracha

596
00:26:55,360 --> 00:26:57,480
♪ La-la la-la la-la-la. ♪

597
00:27:00,040 --> 00:27:03,117
I can't believe you let
us believe you were...

598
00:27:03,200 --> 00:27:04,517
Let you believe?!

599
00:27:04,600 --> 00:27:07,637
I was in pain 24/7.

600
00:27:07,720 --> 00:27:09,357
I don't know how
I didn't give up.

601
00:27:09,440 --> 00:27:10,517
AUDIENCE: Aww!

602
00:27:10,600 --> 00:27:11,997
Thank you.

603
00:27:12,080 --> 00:27:13,637
LAUGHTER

604
00:27:13,720 --> 00:27:15,677
Well, you're all right now.

605
00:27:15,760 --> 00:27:18,397
So, we can get rid
of that scooter.

606
00:27:18,480 --> 00:27:20,800
You can get rid of the scooter
but I'm keeping me chair.

607
00:27:21,960 --> 00:27:23,560
WHIRRING

608
00:27:24,760 --> 00:27:28,077
CRUNCH! MECHANISM ROARS

609
00:27:28,160 --> 00:27:29,717
Argh!

610
00:27:29,800 --> 00:27:30,840
Ah!

611
00:27:32,480 --> 00:27:33,640
Oh...

612
00:27:35,480 --> 00:27:37,357
Who has the TV remote?

613
00:27:37,440 --> 00:27:38,437
Ugh...

614
00:27:38,520 --> 00:27:40,160
Put on the football, Dermot.

615
00:27:44,280 --> 00:27:47,520
And what would the world be like
without the odd miracle, eh?

616
00:27:48,640 --> 00:27:50,917
Believe it or not, when I
crashed into that table,

617
00:27:51,000 --> 00:27:52,357
it fixed me back!

618
00:27:52,440 --> 00:27:54,080
CACKLES

619
00:27:55,720 --> 00:27:57,797
Oh, I didn't do
the gossip column.

620
00:27:57,880 --> 00:28:01,317
No, I did a review of this.

621
00:28:01,400 --> 00:28:03,680
Huge readership. Huge!

622
00:28:04,760 --> 00:28:06,717
You know, my mother used to say,

623
00:28:06,800 --> 00:28:08,117
"People who listen to gossip"

624
00:28:08,200 --> 00:28:10,237
"will eventually hear
bad about themselves."

625
00:28:10,320 --> 00:28:11,440
Mm.

626
00:28:12,640 --> 00:28:14,637
Did I tell you
about Father Damien

627
00:28:14,720 --> 00:28:16,120
and the dead sheep?

628
00:28:18,720 --> 00:28:20,120
No, I shouldn't.

629
00:28:21,160 --> 00:28:22,157
Goodnight.

630
00:28:22,240 --> 00:28:27,040
♪ Say hello to the
queen of Dublin town

631
00:28:28,520 --> 00:28:33,360
♪ As the best mum of
all she wears the crown

632
00:28:34,560 --> 00:28:37,437
♪ Mother hen watching
all her chicks

633
00:28:37,520 --> 00:28:40,237
♪ Sassy old lady full of tricks

634
00:28:40,320 --> 00:28:46,277
♪ It's a safe bet she'd
never let life get her down

635
00:28:46,360 --> 00:28:49,317
♪ She's Mrs Brown Agnes... ♪

636
00:28:49,400 --> 00:28:50,437
Goodnight!

637
00:28:50,520 --> 00:28:52,997
♪ That's Mrs Brown Agnes

638
00:28:53,080 --> 00:28:55,837
♪ Our Mrs Brown. ♪

639
00:28:55,920 --> 00:28:58,280
MRS BROWN CACKLES

639
00:28:59,305 --> 00:29:59,374
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