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CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP

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- HMM. WHAT'S THIS?

4
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THE RISIA PROFIT CORPORATION
HAS NOW BECOME
THE RICHEST COMPANY

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ON THE FACE OF THIS GLOBE.

6
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WHY DO I KEEP READING
ABOUT PEOPLE WHOSE DREAMS
OF INSTANT WEALTH COME TRUE

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WHO ARE NOT ME?

8
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I HATE THIS FRIGGIN' RAG!

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- HELLO, DEAR.
WE'RE BACK.

10
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- I JUST KILLED
THE NEWSPAPER.

11
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- HEY, PAPA,
LOOK AT MY NEW CEREAL.

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IT'S CALLED RISIA PROFIT
FROSTED HAPPY MORNING

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SUPER CRUNCHY
ACTION GO! FOOD TIME
BREAKFAST GO.

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IT GOES CRACKY CRACKY
CLICK CLICK!

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OOH! BANG BANG
BANG BANG BANG!

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BOOM BOOM BOOM!

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OOH! CLICKY CLICKY
CLICKY CLICKY!

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GO, CLICKY, GO!

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- RISIA PROFIT, EH?

20
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I THINK I REMEMBER
READING ABOUT THEM
IN MY PAPER...

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BACK WHEN I GAVE A DAMN!

22
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- LOOK HERE, FAMILY.

23
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THE REAR OF THE BOX
SAYS I CAN STAR
IN MY OWN TV SHOW.

24
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ALL I GOTTA DO
IS OPEN THE BOX.

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DAD, CAN I OPEN THE BOX

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EVEN THOUGH IT'S NOT
A RECOGNIZED MEAL TIME?

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CAN I? CAN I?
HUH? CAN I?

28
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- ASK YOUR MOTHER.
- MOM, CAN I OPEN THE BOX?

29
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- ASK YOUR FATHER.
- DAD, CAN I OPEN THE BOX?

30
00:01:24,026 --> 00:01:26,028
- ASK YOUR FATHER.
- DAD, HOW ABOUT THAT BOX?

31
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- SAY IT LIKE A PRINCESS.
- FATHER, MAY I OPEN THE BOX?

32
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- NO, NO, NO.
PRINCESS THE CAT.

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- I DON'T DO HER.

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- THEN YOU DON'T OPEN THE BOX,

35
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BUT I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH.

36
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- LOVE DON'T MEAN CRAP, DAD,
IF I CAN'T OPEN MY CEREAL.

37
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ALL I WANT TO DO
IS OPEN THE BOX

38
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AND YOU WON'T LET ME
OPEN THE BOX.

39
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- GO AHEAD
AND OPEN IT, HONEY.

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- THANKS, MOM.
YOU'RE A PAL.

41
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- KONNICHIWA.

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MY NAME IS MR. KIORI.

43
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I REPRESENT
RISIA PROFIT CORPORATION.

44
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CONGRATULATIONS,
YOUNG CATLIKE CREATURE,

45
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YOU ARE NOW THE STAR
OF YOUR OWN TELEVISION PROGRAM.

46
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- WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?

47
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- IN A NUTSHELL,
TO CONSERVE PRECIOUS TIME,

48
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CONGRATULATIONS, STAR, TV.

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- FAN-FRICKIN'-TASTIC.

50
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CAN I EAT THE CEREAL NOW?

51
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- EXCUSE ME,
MY NAME IS DAD,

52
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AND I REPRESENT THIS BLOSSOMING
TEENAGE CASH COW.

53
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WHAT KIND OF MONEY
ARE WE TALKING ABOUT?

54
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LET'S WORK A DEAL.

55
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- NO, NO, TINY DOLL MAN.

56
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THE DEAL
HAS ALREADY BEEN WORKED.

57
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THE ACT OF OPENING THE BOX
CONSTITUTES A PERPETUAL

58
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AND LEGALLY
BINDING AGREEMENT

59
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BETWEEN THE OPENER
AND RISIA PROFIT CORPORATION.

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RISIA PROFIT RETAINS
OWNERSHIP OF THE PROGRAM,

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ANYTHING RELATED
TO THE PROGRAM
IN ANY WAY WHATSOEVER,

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AND ALL REVENUE
PRODUCED BY THE PROGRAM

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THROUGHOUT THE UNIVERSE
FOR ALL ETERNITY.

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LITIGATION WILL ENSUE
BASED ON SLIGHTEST PROVOCATION.

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- AS LONG AS WE GET SOMETHING.

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EH, BY THE WAY,
I'VE FORGIVEN MY NEWSPAPER.

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I CAN'T STAY MAD AT YOU, BABY.

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- YOUNG MAN,
ARE YOU FAMILIAR
WITH THE PHRASES

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PRODUCT PLACEMENT,
MEDIA SATURATION,

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AND SHAMELESS INVASIVE MARKETING
AND BRANDING TACTICS

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DISGUISED AS
MASS ENTERTAINMENT?

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- NO...

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BUT I SWALLOWED
A HOUSE KEY ONCE

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AND WE HAD
TO CAMP OUT IN THE YARD

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TILL IT CAME OUT
THE OTHER END.

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I THINK YOU KNOW
WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.

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A-HA HA HA HA!

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- HA HA.

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PUT THAT IN YOUR
TELEVISION SHOW, TOUGH GUY.

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- YES,
THAT'S A WONDERFUL IDEA.

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YOU ARE BOTH CHARMING
BUT ASTOUNDINGLY IMBECILIC.

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THAT IS KNOWN
AS "STAR QUALITY."

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- COOL.

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HEY, I HAVE AN IDEA
FOR MY SHOW.

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YOU WANT TO HEAR IT?

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- I AM PRETENDING
TO LISTEN TO YOU.

87
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- OK, WELL,
IT'S ALL ABOUT A FAMILY
OF STREETWISE BLACK PEOPLE

88
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LIVING TOGETHER
IN DINOSAUR TIMES.

89
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WHO KNOWS HOW THEY GOT
THERE? WHO CARES?

90
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ALL'S I CAN TELL YOU
IS THAT THEY SHOW
THOSE DINOSAURS

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HOW TO PUT IT OVER
ON THE CAVEMAN.

92
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- SORRY, THE FORMAT
HAS BEEN PREAPPROVED.

93
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THE SHOW WILL BE ABOUT
YOU AND YOUR FAMILY
LIVING HAPPILY

94
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AS YOU ENJOY OUR CHARMINGLY
UBIQUITOUS PRODUCTS.

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CHODROMS, DRESS THE SET.

96
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OK, WE'RE READY TO GO.

97
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JUST ACT NATURALLY
AND SAY AND DO EVERYTHING
I ORDER YOU TO SAY AND DO.

98
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- I HAVE A QUESTION
ABOUT THE SCRIPT, PLEASE.

99
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- THAT'S NOT A SCRIPT, DEAR.

100
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THAT'S THEIR
MAIL-ORDER CATALOG.

101
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- RIGHT, BUT SHOULDN'T
THERE BE MORE LINES
IN HERE FOR ME?

102
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- OK, FOLKS, LET'S HAVE
SOME SHINY FUN TODAY,

103
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AND REMEMBER
TO LOOK PLEASURABLE

104
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AS YOU DISCUSS
OUR WONDERFUL PRODUCTS.

105
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- HEY, EVERYBODY!

106
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I SWALLOWED THE KEYS AGAIN!

107
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HA HA HA HA!

108
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- WE'RE NOT DOING THAT GAG.

109
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- I THOUGHT YOU GUYS
WERE DIGGING THE KEY BIT.

110
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- NO, IT TESTED
VELLY POORLY AT FOCUS GROUP.

111
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- WHAT?
- HA HA HA HA.

112
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I WAS EVOKING A TIRED
AND OFFENSIVE STEREOTYPE
FOR MY OWN AMUSEMENT.

113
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THANKS FOR INDULGING ME.

114
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OK, HERE WE GO.

115
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ROLLING CAMERAS AND...
ACTION!

116
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AGAIN, I SAY, ACTION!

117
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- WHAT'S MY LINE AGAIN?

118
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- HEY, EVERYBODY!

119
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- HEY, EVERYBODY!

120
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- CUT!
- WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?

121
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I'M NOT PERFECT.
I'M A CATBOY!

122
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- INDEED. THAT IS YOUR APPEAL.

123
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BUT I'M THINKING
MAYBE THE LINE NEEDS SOME WORK.

124
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LET'S TRY, "HEY, RISIA PROFIT
PREFERRED CUSTOMERS!"

125
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OK, GREAT.
HERE WE GO.

126
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- BUT THAT'S ONE
OF MY CATCHPHRASES.

127
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YOU KNOW, "HEY, EVERYBODY!"

128
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"YEAH, BUDDY!"

129
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"HOW YOU DOIN', BUDDY?"

130
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MY AUDIENCE IS GONNA EXPECT
ONE OF THOSE.

131
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- THEY WILL LIKE
THIS NEW LINE BETTER.

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IT IS DESIGNED TO AROUSE
DEEP FEELINGS OF SPENDING.

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- OK.

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UH, HEY,
RISIA PROFIT CUSTOMERS--

135
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- PREFERRED CUSTOMERS.
- PREFERRED CUSTOMER.

136
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- HEY, SON,
WHY AREN'T YOU OUTSIDE

137
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PLAYING WITH A RISIA PROFIT
LUCKY FUN SPORT TASTY
FORTUNE LATEX GLOW BALL

138
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WITH YOUR FRIENDS
IN A LUCRATIVE, YOUNG,
ACTIVE MALE DEMOGRAPHIC?

139
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- FANTASTIC, DAD.

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- I THINK THIS WAS A BAD IDEA.
- CUT!

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- I'LL SAY.
I CAN'T CARRY ALL OF US.

142
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- I THINK I KNOW THE PROBLEM.

143
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IT'S YOUR EYES.

144
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THEY'RE NOT RIGHT
FOR TELEVISION.

145
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- BUT I LIKE MY EYES.

146
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- YOU'LL LIKE
THE NEW ONES BETTER.

147
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SURGEONS!

148
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EXCELLENT.

149
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YOU NOW HAVE
THE PROFIT-INDUCING EYES

150
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OF A LARGE CARTOON HAMSTER.

151
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- I DON'T THINK MINE WORK.

152
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I CAN'T SEE ANYTHING.

153
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- THAT IS NOT A WORRY TO ME
AS YOU HAVE NO LINES.

154
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ACTION!

155
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- WHO'S THIRSTY FOR SOME
RISIA PROFIT ACIDIC FIZZING
SEXY GOOD LIME DRINK?

156
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- CUT!
- WHAT?

157
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- BRAINSTORM!

158
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- WE WILL NOW HEAR
A SONG FROM DAD

159
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AND DELICIOUS RISIA PROFIT
ACIDIC FIZZING SEXY
GOOD LIME DRINK.

160
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- I CAN'T SEE ANYTHING.

161
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- YOU WANT US
TO JUST MAKE UP THE WORDS?

162
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- THE WORDS ARE ON
THE MONITOR SCREEN BEFORE YOU.

163
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I ALSO ENCOURAGE
THOSE IN THE AUDIENCE
TO JOIN IN.

164
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- DO I HAVE
TO WEAR THIS CAN?

165
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- YES, SEXY GOOD LIME DRINK.

166
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NOW YOU WILL KARAOKE!

167
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- ♪ RISIA PRODUCTS

168
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- ♪ NUMBER ONE

169
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- ♪ SUPER PARTY

170
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- ♪ LOTS OF FUN

171
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- ♪ YOU LIKE THE GIRLS?

172
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- ♪ THEY LIKE YOU, TOO

173
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♪ OH, YEAH

174
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- ♪ WHEN RISIA

175
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- ♪ GOES OUT WITH YOU

176
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- ♪ YOU'RE SURE TO BE THE ONE
WITH ALL THE HAIR ON HIS CHEST ♪

177
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♪ OH, YEAH

178
00:07:01,797 --> 00:07:03,732
- ♪ I GOT A SODA, MAN

179
00:07:03,799 --> 00:07:04,900
♪ YOU LIKE THE GIRLS?

180
00:07:04,967 --> 00:07:09,071
- ♪ RISIA PRODUCTS GIVE YOU
ALL THE SEXY PLEASURE BEST ♪

181
00:07:09,138 --> 00:07:09,939
- ♪ OH, YEAH

182
00:07:10,005 --> 00:07:13,909
♪ I BLOW SODA ON ME

183
00:07:13,976 --> 00:07:15,144
- OUCH.

184
00:07:15,211 --> 00:07:17,880
ARE YOUR PEEPERS
STILL NOT WORKING, MAMA?

185
00:07:17,947 --> 00:07:18,914
- IT DOESN'T MATTER.

186
00:07:18,981 --> 00:07:20,082
I DON'T NEED HAMSTER'S EYES

187
00:07:20,149 --> 00:07:21,717
TO SEE THAT
WE'RE BEING EXPLOITED

188
00:07:21,784 --> 00:07:23,118
FOR COMMERCIAL GAIN.

189
00:07:23,185 --> 00:07:25,888
- HMM...
ONE ADJUSTMENT TO MAKE.

190
00:07:25,955 --> 00:07:27,957
- SON, WHY DON'T
YOU TELL YOUR MOTHER

191
00:07:28,023 --> 00:07:32,127
HOW MUCH YOU LIKE MOWING LAWNS
WITH THE RISIA PROFIT MOTORIZED

192
00:07:32,194 --> 00:07:37,399
SUPER SEXY CHOP-AND-GO
BLADE GRASSY YARD REPURPOSER?

193
00:07:37,466 --> 00:07:39,335
- THAT'S NOT MY MOM.
THAT'S A BOTTLE.

194
00:07:39,401 --> 00:07:42,071
- DON'T YOU TALK TO
YOUR RISIA PROFIT FRESH SMELL

195
00:07:42,137 --> 00:07:44,840
FANCY DUTY JOY
SCRUB SHOWER CLEANSER LIKE THAT.

196
00:07:44,907 --> 00:07:46,175
- CUT!
- NO, YOU CUT.

197
00:07:46,242 --> 00:07:47,676
WHAT HAVE YOU DONE
WITH MY MOM?

198
00:07:47,743 --> 00:07:49,011
- FORGET ABOUT OLD MOM.

199
00:07:49,078 --> 00:07:54,216
NEW MOM NOW CONTAINS
20% MORE POWERFUL
SCRUBBING ACTION PARTICLES.

200
00:07:54,283 --> 00:07:56,785
GOOD FOR WHOLE HOUSE.

201
00:07:58,821 --> 00:07:59,989
- WHO'S THIS CLOWN?

202
00:08:00,055 --> 00:08:01,957
- CLOWN? OH, NO.

203
00:08:02,024 --> 00:08:02,992
THIS IS MARUMATU,

204
00:08:03,058 --> 00:08:05,394
TERRIFYING STAR
OF NEW RISIA PROFIT
CORPORATION

205
00:08:05,461 --> 00:08:08,731
MASS MOVIE AUDIENCE
ACTION PRODUCTION,

206
00:08:08,797 --> 00:08:11,367
"MARUMATU VERSUS
KAGICHI SWAMP TIGERS--

207
00:08:11,433 --> 00:08:15,237
RISIA SPONSORED
BASEBALL PLAYING TEAM."

208
00:08:15,304 --> 00:08:17,873
- MARUMATU!

209
00:08:17,940 --> 00:08:19,341
IT'S MARUMATU!

210
00:08:19,408 --> 00:08:20,175
RUN--

211
00:08:20,242 --> 00:08:23,112
TO YOUR LOCAL
RISIA PROFIT MULTIPLEX.

212
00:08:23,178 --> 00:08:25,314
MARUMATU!

213
00:08:25,381 --> 00:08:26,882
- OUT OF THE WAY, NUMB NUTS.

214
00:08:26,949 --> 00:08:32,554
A-HA HA HA HA!

215
00:08:34,957 --> 00:08:35,758
WHO WAS THAT?

216
00:08:35,824 --> 00:08:38,193
- THAT WAS FAMOUS
RISIA PROFIT SPOKESMAN

217
00:08:38,260 --> 00:08:41,931
AND ACTIVE MUSICIAN
CHEAP TRICK.

218
00:08:41,997 --> 00:08:42,631
- OH, YEAH?

219
00:08:42,698 --> 00:08:44,900
WELL, I WANT YOU
TO WANT THIS.

220
00:08:44,967 --> 00:08:46,702
A-HA HA HA HA!

221
00:08:46,769 --> 00:08:47,703
- AAH!

222
00:08:47,770 --> 00:08:50,506
- SAYONARA, SACK-SMACKERS.

223
00:08:50,572 --> 00:08:51,407
- OH, HEY, ZORAK.

224
00:08:51,473 --> 00:08:53,509
YOU HAVE
A NEW SQUIRT GUN, TOO.

225
00:08:53,575 --> 00:08:56,412
LET'S HAVE A SQUIRT GUN WAR.

226
00:08:57,112 --> 00:08:59,615
- I GOT YOU!
HA HA HA!

227
00:08:59,682 --> 00:09:01,550
NOW SQUIRT ME
AS I RUN AWAY.

228
00:09:01,617 --> 00:09:04,320
♪ LA LA LA LA,
LA LA LA LA ♪

229
00:09:04,386 --> 00:09:06,455
AAH! AAH!

230
00:09:06,522 --> 00:09:07,690
AAH!

231
00:09:07,756 --> 00:09:11,060
- HUH. KIORI, BABY,
I CAN'T WORK LIKE THIS.

232
00:09:11,126 --> 00:09:12,227
- I UNDERSTAND.

233
00:09:12,294 --> 00:09:16,031
THIS IS A HEARTBREAKING TRAGEDY
OF FINANCIAL PROPORTIONS,

234
00:09:16,098 --> 00:09:17,099
BUT WE MUST GO ON.

235
00:09:17,166 --> 00:09:19,168
MONEY DOESN'T SLEEP
AND WE HAVE ONLY ONE MORE SHOT.

236
00:09:19,234 --> 00:09:21,670
- SIR, I DON'T THINK
I CAN CONTINUE.

237
00:09:21,737 --> 00:09:27,576
I JUST SAW A PERFECTLY
CHARMING MOVIE MONSTER
MURDERED BY MY BEST FRIEND.

238
00:09:27,643 --> 00:09:29,878
I MUST NOW TAKE MY LEAVE.

239
00:09:29,945 --> 00:09:36,452
- SO YOU SEE, BRAK,
RISIA PROFIT CORPORATION
PRODUCTS MAKE LIFE BETTER

240
00:09:36,518 --> 00:09:38,020
IN EVERY WAY.

241
00:09:38,087 --> 00:09:39,455
WHAT'S THAT, MOTHER?

242
00:09:39,521 --> 00:09:44,426
OH, YES, RISIA CORPORATION
HAS DEFEATED ITS IMPOTENT
WESTERN COMPETITORS

243
00:09:44,493 --> 00:09:50,833
BY EXPOSING
THEIR INFERIOR TECHNOLOGIES
AND DISGRACEFUL WORK ETHIC.

244
00:09:50,899 --> 00:09:52,935
HA HA HA HA!

245
00:09:53,002 --> 00:09:53,936
LONG LIVE RISIA!

246
00:09:54,003 --> 00:09:57,639
- CUT! AND THAT'S A WRAP.

247
00:09:57,706 --> 00:09:59,274
- YOU'LL NEVER KNOW
WHAT CHANNEL IT'S ON

248
00:09:59,341 --> 00:10:00,709
IF YOU KEEP
SWITCHING CHANNELS.

249
00:10:00,776 --> 00:10:02,277
- NO, NO.
YOU HAVE TO KEEP MOVING--

250
00:10:02,344 --> 00:10:03,712
TAKE THESE BASTARDS
BY SURPRISE.

251
00:10:05,180 --> 00:10:07,516
EH, THIS LOOKS INTRIGUING.

252
00:10:07,583 --> 00:10:09,451
- OH, YEAH.

253
00:10:09,518 --> 00:10:12,087
THE SURGERY IS A SUCCESS.

254
00:10:12,154 --> 00:10:15,357
- OOH, I'VE SEEN THIS.
THIS IS HOT.

255
00:10:15,424 --> 00:10:16,825
- MMM. BABY.

256
00:10:16,892 --> 00:10:19,194
- OH, DOCTOR!

257
00:10:19,261 --> 00:10:20,162
- OH, NURSE.

258
00:10:20,229 --> 00:10:23,399
- COME ON, DAD.
FIND THE SHOW.

259
00:10:31,306 --> 00:10:32,975
- RISIA! SUPER COOL!

260
00:10:33,042 --> 00:10:35,010
...COOL. RISIA!

261
00:10:35,077 --> 00:10:36,145
- HA HA HA HA!

262
00:10:36,211 --> 00:10:37,413
- HA HA HA HA!

263
00:10:40,449 --> 00:10:41,850
- DANCE, ROBOTS! WOO!

264
00:10:41,917 --> 00:10:44,086
DANCE, DANCE, DANCE.
DANCE, DANCE, DANCE.

265
00:10:47,790 --> 00:10:49,491
HO HO HO HO!

266
00:10:49,558 --> 00:10:50,492
- THAT'S A GOOD BRAK SHOW.

267
00:10:50,559 --> 00:10:53,595
- WHO WANTS TO TRADE
FOR A ZORAK DESTROYER CARD?

268
00:10:53,662 --> 00:10:54,396
- WHAT HAVE YOU GOT?

269
00:10:54,463 --> 00:10:55,330
- I'VE GOT A SUPER GO CLARENCE,

270
00:10:55,397 --> 00:10:57,833
AND A SCRATCH 'N SNIFF SISTO
FROM SEASON ONE.

271
00:10:57,900 --> 00:11:00,903
- THROW IN AMERICAN VOICE MOM
AND YOU'VE GOT A DEAL.

272
00:11:00,969 --> 00:11:02,004
LET IT GO, DAD.

273
00:11:02,071 --> 00:11:04,206
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP

274
00:11:04,273 --> 00:11:08,544
CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL
CAPTIONING INSTITUTE
--www.ncicap.org--

275
00:11:09,305 --> 00:12:09,159
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