1 00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:02,877 [♪ guitar strumming] 2 00:00:09,676 --> 00:00:10,676 [beer hisses] 3 00:00:10,677 --> 00:00:13,096 [♪ theme song playing] 4 00:00:15,000 --> 00:00:21,074 5 00:00:27,068 --> 00:00:29,070 ♪ 6 00:00:36,036 --> 00:00:37,036 [♪ theme concludes] 7 00:00:37,037 --> 00:00:38,120 [birds chirping] 8 00:00:38,121 --> 00:00:39,204 - Nope - No! 9 00:00:39,205 --> 00:00:40,289 - Uh-uh. - Nope. 10 00:00:40,290 --> 00:00:42,750 I cannot believe they're allowing it to happen 11 00:00:42,751 --> 00:00:45,295 openly in the streets! 12 00:00:47,130 --> 00:00:49,006 Fake sport, man. You gotta tackle somethin', man. 13 00:00:49,007 --> 00:00:52,676 We're losing some of our best sports kids to soccer. 14 00:00:52,677 --> 00:00:55,721 What's next, we teach 'em to measure milk in liters? 15 00:00:55,722 --> 00:00:58,974 Replace donuts with scones?! 16 00:00:58,975 --> 00:01:00,476 Well, I don't know, guys. 17 00:01:00,477 --> 00:01:02,936 Luke could be the next Lionel Messi. 18 00:01:02,937 --> 00:01:04,688 [♪ tense, dramatic music plays] 19 00:01:04,689 --> 00:01:07,859 Or whoever. I was just makin' up a name. 20 00:01:11,112 --> 00:01:12,905 - [birds chirping] - [dog barking] 21 00:01:12,906 --> 00:01:15,282 Did I kick that right? [weakly laughs] 22 00:01:15,283 --> 00:01:17,159 Such a dumb sport. 23 00:01:17,160 --> 00:01:20,330 Got 'em dang ol' A-Y-S-O, man. "Step Daddy Duty," man. 24 00:01:20,830 --> 00:01:23,040 Hold on, Boomhauer! I'll come with ya! 25 00:01:23,041 --> 00:01:26,335 I hear the fields now have St. Augustine grass. 26 00:01:26,336 --> 00:01:28,837 - [♪ suspicious music playing] - Supposed to be lusher than Bermuda. 27 00:01:28,838 --> 00:01:30,674 I'll believe that when I see it. 28 00:01:32,926 --> 00:01:34,593 Hi, Dale. Come on in. 29 00:01:34,594 --> 00:01:36,303 - [locks door] - Can I get you some scones? 30 00:01:36,304 --> 00:01:39,014 I've really come around on scones. 31 00:01:39,015 --> 00:01:42,559 Didn't you notice how much Hank suddenly knows about soccer? 32 00:01:42,560 --> 00:01:45,270 The Hank Hill I know hated soccer. 33 00:01:45,271 --> 00:01:48,358 I'm afraid my suspicions have been confirmed. 34 00:01:49,192 --> 00:01:52,028 Hank was turned in Saudi Arabia. 35 00:01:52,529 --> 00:01:53,654 Turned into what? 36 00:01:53,655 --> 00:01:55,364 A spy, you idiot! 37 00:01:55,365 --> 00:01:58,450 He's been brainwashed by Mohammed bin Salman, 38 00:01:58,451 --> 00:01:59,910 the Sheikh of Araby. 39 00:01:59,911 --> 00:02:02,330 Oh, no. Peggy could be in danger! 40 00:02:03,164 --> 00:02:05,499 We all could be in danger, Bill! 41 00:02:05,500 --> 00:02:08,752 But MBS' secret police didn't know one thing. 42 00:02:08,753 --> 00:02:11,547 Soccer is despised in Texas, 43 00:02:11,548 --> 00:02:15,009 despite the best efforts of that Canadian assassin Deadpool, 44 00:02:15,010 --> 00:02:17,261 and that Ted Lasso. 45 00:02:17,262 --> 00:02:20,180 I don't know. Boomhauer's kid is playing. 46 00:02:20,181 --> 00:02:21,473 Maybe it's too late. 47 00:02:21,474 --> 00:02:24,101 Maybe the contagion has already spread! 48 00:02:24,102 --> 00:02:27,271 Why couldn't Hank have been turned into somethin' less scary, 49 00:02:27,272 --> 00:02:28,605 like a werewolf? 50 00:02:28,606 --> 00:02:30,315 I wish that were it. 51 00:02:30,316 --> 00:02:32,109 I've killed werewolves before. 52 00:02:32,110 --> 00:02:34,570 Or at least a really big dog. 53 00:02:34,571 --> 00:02:35,821 [kids chattering] 54 00:02:35,822 --> 00:02:36,989 - Yes! - Becca! 55 00:02:36,990 --> 00:02:38,407 - Over here! - [cheering] 56 00:02:38,408 --> 00:02:40,200 You missed that call, Ref! 57 00:02:40,201 --> 00:02:42,578 Dang ol'... wh-what, man? I'm d-- talkin'-- just... 58 00:02:42,579 --> 00:02:44,621 - just a volunteer, man. - [blows whistle] 59 00:02:44,622 --> 00:02:47,124 - [mutters] That was offsides. - Oh boy. 60 00:02:47,125 --> 00:02:50,586 We got one of those way-too-into-it soccer dads here. 61 00:02:50,587 --> 00:02:54,048 Why do they have to ruin it with rules? Just let the kids have fun. 62 00:02:54,049 --> 00:02:56,300 Well, the rules make it fun. 63 00:02:56,301 --> 00:02:57,634 - Behind you! - What the heck? 64 00:02:57,635 --> 00:02:58,719 - That's a foul! - Hey! 65 00:02:58,720 --> 00:03:00,471 You're missin' a great game, Ref! 66 00:03:00,472 --> 00:03:02,389 - [player] That can't be right. - Ow, man! 67 00:03:02,390 --> 00:03:04,391 [player 2] What the heck? Isn't he gonna say something? 68 00:03:04,392 --> 00:03:05,976 Ah! Oh... 69 00:03:05,977 --> 00:03:07,061 [parent] Come on! 70 00:03:07,062 --> 00:03:09,897 Another ref quit! Any y'all wanna volunteer? 71 00:03:09,898 --> 00:03:12,066 If not, we automatically lose! 72 00:03:12,067 --> 00:03:13,484 [player] Can we just call it a tie? 73 00:03:13,485 --> 00:03:16,320 [♪ thoughtful music playing] 74 00:03:16,321 --> 00:03:17,405 [sighs] 75 00:03:18,656 --> 00:03:20,657 - I can do it. - You know the rules? 76 00:03:20,658 --> 00:03:23,827 Um, I'm, uh, I'm no expert or anything. 77 00:03:23,828 --> 00:03:25,829 Just picked some stuff up from watching. 78 00:03:25,830 --> 00:03:29,833 A player is offsides if their feet are in the half of the opposing team, 79 00:03:29,834 --> 00:03:32,044 and there isn't a defender between them 80 00:03:32,045 --> 00:03:35,381 and the goalkeeper before the ball is played forward. 81 00:03:35,382 --> 00:03:38,509 [birds chirping] 82 00:03:38,510 --> 00:03:39,760 I tell you what. 83 00:03:39,761 --> 00:03:40,929 ♪ 84 00:03:42,889 --> 00:03:45,683 The singer in the avocado costume is definitely Tupac. 85 00:03:45,684 --> 00:03:47,559 - [applause on TV] - [audience groans] 86 00:03:47,560 --> 00:03:49,353 Ugh, it's just Don Lemon. 87 00:03:49,354 --> 00:03:51,897 [announcer] [on TV] Whether you're a young buckaroo lookin' to buy 88 00:03:51,898 --> 00:03:54,149 - your first set of wagon wheels... - Don't skip this ad! I love it. 89 00:03:54,150 --> 00:03:56,902 ...or a grizzled old cowpoke 90 00:03:56,903 --> 00:03:59,655 fixin' to buy a convertible buggy, 91 00:03:59,656 --> 00:04:02,574 come on down to Bronco Barry Bilford's Car Corral 92 00:04:02,575 --> 00:04:04,618 off 635 in Dallas. 93 00:04:04,619 --> 00:04:06,954 But don't take my word for it. 94 00:04:06,955 --> 00:04:09,415 - Let Switzer here tell you. - [horse whinnying] 95 00:04:09,416 --> 00:04:10,582 [Connie Souphanousinphone] Aw. 96 00:04:10,583 --> 00:04:13,168 I've loved those crazy ads since I was little. 97 00:04:13,169 --> 00:04:15,462 Can't believe Bronco Barry's still doing it. 98 00:04:15,463 --> 00:04:16,755 He hasn't aged a day. 99 00:04:16,756 --> 00:04:19,091 That's because they never updated the commercial. 100 00:04:19,092 --> 00:04:21,176 Well, why change what works? 101 00:04:21,177 --> 00:04:23,178 I mean, it got me thinkin' 102 00:04:23,179 --> 00:04:27,141 maybe it's time I go down and buy a car. 103 00:04:27,142 --> 00:04:29,643 I wouldn't have to bum rides from you guys, 104 00:04:29,644 --> 00:04:32,187 and I've saved enough for the down payment. 105 00:04:32,188 --> 00:04:33,814 I don't know. 106 00:04:33,815 --> 00:04:36,275 You better ask your mom to come down and help you. 107 00:04:36,276 --> 00:04:38,736 My mom? Please. 108 00:04:38,737 --> 00:04:41,613 You have to be tech savvy to buy a car these days. 109 00:04:41,614 --> 00:04:44,324 Her Waze app's been stuck on Mandarin 110 00:04:44,325 --> 00:04:45,909 for the last three months, 111 00:04:45,910 --> 00:04:48,162 and she's helpless to change it! 112 00:04:48,163 --> 00:04:51,415 But, Bobby, those car dealers are slick. 113 00:04:51,416 --> 00:04:53,751 And you're just too... 114 00:04:53,752 --> 00:04:54,835 nice. 115 00:04:54,836 --> 00:04:57,296 I appreciate your concern, Connie, 116 00:04:57,297 --> 00:04:59,965 but I can handle myself just fine. 117 00:04:59,966 --> 00:05:03,719 Now, would you please put a coaster under your iced tea, 118 00:05:03,720 --> 00:05:07,557 so you don't leave a ring on our cardboard accent table? 119 00:05:08,224 --> 00:05:09,767 [quietly] Who's too nice now? 120 00:05:09,768 --> 00:05:12,854 ♪ 121 00:05:15,774 --> 00:05:17,358 - Hi, honey. - Dammit, Peggy. 122 00:05:17,359 --> 00:05:19,568 I shoulda known you'd see right through me. 123 00:05:19,569 --> 00:05:21,362 I went with Boomhauer 124 00:05:21,363 --> 00:05:24,239 to watch his girlfriend's son's soccer game. 125 00:05:24,240 --> 00:05:26,158 Well, honey, that is not a bad thing. 126 00:05:26,159 --> 00:05:29,161 I, for one, am glad to see that Boomhauer 127 00:05:29,162 --> 00:05:33,415 is taking his role as Luke's father-adjacent figure seriously. 128 00:05:33,416 --> 00:05:36,335 [sighs] I also filled in as referee 129 00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:38,962 after everyone turned on Boomhauer. 130 00:05:38,963 --> 00:05:41,423 They kicked balls at his head, Peggy. 131 00:05:41,424 --> 00:05:45,469 The disrespect for authority was just so un-American. 132 00:05:45,470 --> 00:05:48,180 Our country has changed, Hank. Do you know 133 00:05:48,181 --> 00:05:51,141 that the cashier at Frumpy's asks for tips now? 134 00:05:51,142 --> 00:05:54,645 I came here for some sensible shorts, not to get fleeced. 135 00:05:54,646 --> 00:05:56,897 Okay, well, there's something else. 136 00:05:56,898 --> 00:05:59,942 Turns out there's a referee shortage in Texas. 137 00:05:59,943 --> 00:06:02,277 So, the coach asked me to do it again. 138 00:06:02,278 --> 00:06:04,238 So, what did you say? 139 00:06:04,239 --> 00:06:05,447 I said no. 140 00:06:05,448 --> 00:06:08,200 After years of enjoying mocking soccer, 141 00:06:08,201 --> 00:06:10,494 I can't have the fellas think I now enjoy it 142 00:06:10,495 --> 00:06:12,329 without the mocking. 143 00:06:12,330 --> 00:06:14,874 - I'd be a hypocrite, Peggy. - Wait. 144 00:06:15,291 --> 00:06:16,709 Do you like soccer? 145 00:06:16,710 --> 00:06:18,210 ♪ 146 00:06:18,211 --> 00:06:19,920 [Hank Hill] Well, I was minding my own business, 147 00:06:19,921 --> 00:06:23,298 trying to focus on the job I was sent to do, 148 00:06:23,299 --> 00:06:25,509 repairing stadium-grade 149 00:06:25,510 --> 00:06:28,012 - HD-10 propane tanks. - [crowd cheering] 150 00:06:28,013 --> 00:06:32,141 Gotdangit, if the beautiful artistry on that field didn't lure me in. 151 00:06:32,142 --> 00:06:35,811 - [crowd chattering] - [♪ epic music playing] 152 00:06:35,812 --> 00:06:38,147 ♪ 153 00:06:38,148 --> 00:06:40,441 I love soccer, Peggy. 154 00:06:40,442 --> 00:06:44,361 [gasps] You are lucky my father is not alive, Hank Hill. 155 00:06:44,362 --> 00:06:47,114 He did not approve of soccer, no siree. 156 00:06:47,115 --> 00:06:50,701 He'd ban me from being with a bad boy like you. 157 00:06:50,702 --> 00:06:54,413 Although, it's almost like we have a dirty little secret. [giggles] 158 00:06:54,414 --> 00:06:57,750 Hey, Hank, why don't you put on that referee uniform? 159 00:06:57,751 --> 00:07:01,337 I haven't seen your calves during the day in a decade. 160 00:07:01,338 --> 00:07:03,339 Peggy, the windows are open! 161 00:07:03,340 --> 00:07:06,633 I know. Are you gonna put me in the penalty box? 162 00:07:06,634 --> 00:07:09,178 Now, that's hockey. I'm reffing soccer. 163 00:07:09,179 --> 00:07:10,262 Don't ruin it. 164 00:07:10,263 --> 00:07:11,348 ♪ 165 00:07:12,265 --> 00:07:14,808 So, you're gonna keep reffing, right, honey? 166 00:07:14,809 --> 00:07:17,853 Even if it's dirty and dangerous 167 00:07:17,854 --> 00:07:21,232 and amoral and would get us shunned by your friends? 168 00:07:21,858 --> 00:07:23,109 Yep. 169 00:07:24,736 --> 00:07:26,195 [♪ exciting music playing] 170 00:07:26,196 --> 00:07:29,198 [Dale Gribble] 4:00 in the morning. The Manchurian Candidate 171 00:07:29,199 --> 00:07:31,367 and his potentially complicit wife 172 00:07:31,368 --> 00:07:33,994 are wide awake, betraying our country. 173 00:07:33,995 --> 00:07:35,704 - [TV chatter] - Probably up for morning prayer, 174 00:07:35,705 --> 00:07:38,916 or talking to their Saudi handlers. 175 00:07:38,917 --> 00:07:42,252 [whirring, shutter snapping] 176 00:07:42,253 --> 00:07:45,422 - Still could be werewolves. - Okay, Bill. 177 00:07:45,423 --> 00:07:49,218 Despite my tracking prowess, Hank is kind of a wily one. 178 00:07:49,219 --> 00:07:52,638 I won't be able to keep an eye on both of them, 179 00:07:52,639 --> 00:07:55,099 so I'm going to assign you to surveil Peggy. 180 00:07:55,100 --> 00:07:56,183 On it! 181 00:07:56,184 --> 00:07:57,393 - Come on, blue! - Go! 182 00:07:57,394 --> 00:07:58,727 - [blowing whistle] - [player] Look out! 183 00:07:58,728 --> 00:08:01,355 Hey! Why are you giving the ball to the other team? 184 00:08:01,356 --> 00:08:03,524 That's bad for my kid's side! 185 00:08:03,525 --> 00:08:05,943 Yeah! What kind of call was that?! 186 00:08:05,944 --> 00:08:07,528 The correct one. 187 00:08:07,529 --> 00:08:08,612 ♪ 188 00:08:08,613 --> 00:08:10,072 [players] Good game. Good game. 189 00:08:10,073 --> 00:08:11,407 Great game, Hank! 190 00:08:11,408 --> 00:08:14,618 Unlike the other refs, you knew the rules and... 191 00:08:14,619 --> 00:08:15,703 and didn't cry. 192 00:08:15,704 --> 00:08:17,329 Well, thank you, Brian. 193 00:08:17,330 --> 00:08:20,124 I think you just wrote my epitaph. 194 00:08:20,125 --> 00:08:22,293 [♪ upbeat guitar music playing] 195 00:08:22,961 --> 00:08:24,170 [dishes clinking] 196 00:08:25,255 --> 00:08:28,298 How did the game go, Mr. Referee? 197 00:08:28,299 --> 00:08:31,010 Well, it was an aggressive hard-fought battle, 198 00:08:31,011 --> 00:08:33,637 and the coaches were running their mouths a bit, 199 00:08:33,638 --> 00:08:37,016 but the rules were followed and justice was enforced. 200 00:08:37,017 --> 00:08:40,602 Oh... sounds like there is a new sheriff in town. 201 00:08:40,603 --> 00:08:42,813 You are my Gary Cooper, 202 00:08:42,814 --> 00:08:45,441 but with a whistle instead of a badge. 203 00:08:45,442 --> 00:08:47,109 [Hank] Hm. 204 00:08:47,110 --> 00:08:49,695 Tell me again about the offsides. 205 00:08:49,696 --> 00:08:51,822 You wanna hear it fast or slow? 206 00:08:51,823 --> 00:08:54,451 - [giggling] - [phone buzzing] 207 00:08:55,201 --> 00:08:57,327 [gasps] Oh my! It's Bobby. 208 00:08:57,328 --> 00:09:00,664 - Hank, do I answer it? - Good Lord, not now! 209 00:09:00,665 --> 00:09:02,666 - [buzzing continues] - We're in the aftermath. 210 00:09:02,667 --> 00:09:03,917 - [answers phone] - [groans] 211 00:09:03,918 --> 00:09:06,712 Bobby! Honey, how is my sweet boy? 212 00:09:06,713 --> 00:09:09,256 Hi, Mom. I have a question for you. 213 00:09:09,257 --> 00:09:11,717 I was just cleaning the house. Alone! 214 00:09:11,718 --> 00:09:13,635 That is why I'm flushed and winded. 215 00:09:13,636 --> 00:09:16,638 Okay, but that's not my question. 216 00:09:16,639 --> 00:09:19,350 Do you still have my driver's ed certificate? 217 00:09:19,351 --> 00:09:22,603 Of course. It's laminated with your diploma. 218 00:09:22,604 --> 00:09:26,398 You did not get too many awards, so we made the most of what we had. 219 00:09:26,399 --> 00:09:29,276 Also, do you think I can be... 220 00:09:29,277 --> 00:09:30,986 "too nice" sometimes? 221 00:09:30,987 --> 00:09:33,447 Oh. Well, honey, there is no such thing 222 00:09:33,448 --> 00:09:35,407 as being too nice, Bobby. 223 00:09:35,408 --> 00:09:39,161 So, I would say you are just the right amount. 224 00:09:39,162 --> 00:09:41,081 But, let me ask your father. 225 00:09:42,123 --> 00:09:44,667 Your father agrees. Why do you ask, honey? 226 00:09:44,668 --> 00:09:47,127 It's just, I'm about to buy a car, 227 00:09:47,128 --> 00:09:49,213 and I know exactly what I want, but-- 228 00:09:49,214 --> 00:09:51,965 Oh, Bobby, let me help. I can hop in my car, 229 00:09:51,966 --> 00:09:55,803 that I got a great deal on, by the way, and be there in no time. 230 00:09:55,804 --> 00:09:58,430 Honey, these salesmen are pros, 231 00:09:58,431 --> 00:10:01,183 and you are, well, you are very nice, but-- 232 00:10:01,184 --> 00:10:03,143 Thanks. Gotta go. 233 00:10:03,144 --> 00:10:04,645 [Hank] [whispers] Tell him to wear a tie. 234 00:10:04,646 --> 00:10:06,772 [loudly] Your father says wear a tie! 235 00:10:06,773 --> 00:10:11,193 I just heard him yell that to me from another room that I'm not in! 236 00:10:11,194 --> 00:10:14,488 - [♪ bright guitar music playing] - [indistinct chatter] 237 00:10:14,489 --> 00:10:16,407 [announcer over PA] Stanley, you're needed in finance... 238 00:10:16,408 --> 00:10:18,617 [sighs deeply] 239 00:10:18,618 --> 00:10:21,412 Welcome to Bronco Barry Bilford's Car Corral. 240 00:10:21,413 --> 00:10:24,665 Did ya get a gander at any of our certified or pre-owned veh-- 241 00:10:24,666 --> 00:10:26,792 Look, with all due respect, sir, 242 00:10:26,793 --> 00:10:29,545 you're a businessman, I'm a businessman. 243 00:10:29,546 --> 00:10:31,171 And I've done my research. 244 00:10:31,172 --> 00:10:33,340 So, let's talk turkey. 245 00:10:33,341 --> 00:10:36,468 This is the car I want and how much I'm willing to pay. 246 00:10:36,469 --> 00:10:39,304 I have included a copy of my driver's license, 247 00:10:39,305 --> 00:10:41,890 and my credit score is sparkling. 248 00:10:41,891 --> 00:10:45,269 Now, that price is based on the current consumer index 249 00:10:45,270 --> 00:10:47,271 for similar makes and models that have sold 250 00:10:47,272 --> 00:10:49,648 in the greater Dallas-Fort Worth area, 251 00:10:49,649 --> 00:10:51,483 plus 2%. 252 00:10:51,484 --> 00:10:54,571 I understand you have to make your margins. 253 00:10:55,238 --> 00:10:57,365 Well, I know when I've met my match. 254 00:10:57,490 --> 00:10:59,199 I better get the boss. 255 00:10:59,200 --> 00:11:01,453 [announcer over PA] Paging line one, maintenance, line one. 256 00:11:02,120 --> 00:11:04,830 Oh, my God! It's you! I mean, 257 00:11:04,831 --> 00:11:07,291 I'm not saying you look old or anything, 258 00:11:07,292 --> 00:11:10,044 but what happened? I'm sorry. 259 00:11:10,045 --> 00:11:12,671 [sighs] It's okay, son. 260 00:11:12,672 --> 00:11:15,758 [chuckles] Now, about your deal. 261 00:11:15,759 --> 00:11:19,304 You did your homework, and you drove a hard bargain. 262 00:11:19,888 --> 00:11:22,097 You beat the devil his self. 263 00:11:22,098 --> 00:11:25,476 [chuckling] Well, these dang internet sites. 264 00:11:25,477 --> 00:11:29,104 You know, maybe it's time we hung it up for good. 265 00:11:29,105 --> 00:11:31,440 I'm too old for this. 266 00:11:31,441 --> 00:11:34,735 You'll get your deal. There's just one thing 267 00:11:34,736 --> 00:11:37,738 I'd like you to consider first. 268 00:11:37,739 --> 00:11:39,740 Now, hang on. I came in here to-- 269 00:11:39,741 --> 00:11:42,326 Would you do me this courtesy, please? 270 00:11:42,327 --> 00:11:45,204 As a fellow businessman? 271 00:11:45,205 --> 00:11:48,165 [♪ gentle country music playing] 272 00:11:48,166 --> 00:11:50,417 - [doors creak] - [horse neighs] 273 00:11:50,418 --> 00:11:52,628 Is that Switzer? 274 00:11:52,629 --> 00:11:56,340 I just call him that for the Dallas Cowboy fans. 275 00:11:56,341 --> 00:11:58,050 Real name's Bobby. 276 00:11:58,051 --> 00:11:59,385 That's my name! 277 00:11:59,386 --> 00:12:01,845 What?! Well, 278 00:12:01,846 --> 00:12:04,723 [laughs] ain't that somethin'. 279 00:12:04,724 --> 00:12:07,851 Sadly, he's gotten a little long in the tooth. 280 00:12:07,852 --> 00:12:11,063 - Showbiz can be cruel to horses. - [horse snorts] 281 00:12:11,064 --> 00:12:14,316 I am sorry, Mr. Bronco Barry sir, 282 00:12:14,317 --> 00:12:18,028 but I'm not sure what this has to do with the deal we agreed on. 283 00:12:18,029 --> 00:12:20,322 Well, son, as you pointed out, 284 00:12:20,323 --> 00:12:22,991 I'm getting a little long in the tooth myself, 285 00:12:22,992 --> 00:12:26,578 and I just can't take care of him the way I used to. 286 00:12:26,579 --> 00:12:29,123 Seein' as how you beat the tar out of us 287 00:12:29,124 --> 00:12:31,667 on this deal for your gas wagon, 288 00:12:31,668 --> 00:12:35,254 you might do a... [coughs] dying old man a favor 289 00:12:35,255 --> 00:12:38,382 and take Switz-- I mean... [laughs] Bobby, 290 00:12:38,383 --> 00:12:39,967 as part of the package. 291 00:12:39,968 --> 00:12:43,721 No, I came here to buy a car and a car only. 292 00:12:43,722 --> 00:12:46,890 No extended warranties, no anti-lock brakes, 293 00:12:46,891 --> 00:12:49,810 and certainly no horses. 294 00:12:49,811 --> 00:12:52,646 Ah, that sure is a shame. 295 00:12:52,647 --> 00:12:54,231 I was hopin' to pass him on 296 00:12:54,232 --> 00:12:56,025 - to someone I trust. - [horse grunting] 297 00:12:56,026 --> 00:12:58,736 My one last wish. 298 00:12:58,737 --> 00:13:01,905 But, it looks like I'm gonna have to... 299 00:13:01,906 --> 00:13:03,950 get rid of him another way. 300 00:13:04,909 --> 00:13:05,909 [horse snorts] 301 00:13:05,910 --> 00:13:08,203 I know a nice guy like you 302 00:13:08,204 --> 00:13:11,290 wouldn't murder a sweet horse like this. 303 00:13:11,291 --> 00:13:13,292 - [horse nickers] - [Bobby sighs] 304 00:13:13,293 --> 00:13:15,252 [laughing] 305 00:13:15,253 --> 00:13:17,212 Dude! What did you do?! 306 00:13:17,213 --> 00:13:19,089 Told ya you were too nice. 307 00:13:19,090 --> 00:13:21,050 Dude, there's no way we're keeping a horse! 308 00:13:21,051 --> 00:13:22,634 N-No! Get him outta here! 309 00:13:22,635 --> 00:13:23,844 [horse sighs] 310 00:13:23,845 --> 00:13:27,098 - [♪ gentle music playing] - Aw, I love you, horse! 311 00:13:28,099 --> 00:13:29,559 [doorbell ringing] 312 00:13:32,270 --> 00:13:33,604 Hank's not here, Bill. 313 00:13:33,605 --> 00:13:35,731 [loud, stilted] Hello, Peggy! I'm just here 314 00:13:35,732 --> 00:13:37,649 to return this Tupperware container 315 00:13:37,650 --> 00:13:39,860 and for no other reason at all! 316 00:13:39,861 --> 00:13:41,612 Oh, well, thank you. 317 00:13:41,613 --> 00:13:43,697 I was wondering where this has been. 318 00:13:43,698 --> 00:13:45,449 Since 1998. 319 00:13:45,450 --> 00:13:47,534 [stilted, quieter] And as a token of my gratitude, 320 00:13:47,535 --> 00:13:50,454 I've prepared you two dishes. 321 00:13:50,455 --> 00:13:53,707 A piece of wholesome, traditional, American apple pie, 322 00:13:53,708 --> 00:13:57,753 or the very foreign dish of falafel and hummus. 323 00:13:57,754 --> 00:14:00,089 - Which would you prefer? - Oh, you're sweet, Bill. 324 00:14:00,090 --> 00:14:03,008 [laughing] But I would never eat food that has been in your home. 325 00:14:03,009 --> 00:14:04,636 I understand. 326 00:14:04,928 --> 00:14:06,220 ♪ 327 00:14:06,221 --> 00:14:08,972 Sorry, Dale. I couldn't break Peggy. 328 00:14:08,973 --> 00:14:12,559 I tried every trick I knew, but she was too tough for me. 329 00:14:12,560 --> 00:14:13,894 And pretty. [laughs] 330 00:14:13,895 --> 00:14:16,605 No matter. You planted the bug. 331 00:14:16,606 --> 00:14:19,733 I affixed a small recording device to the Tupperware. 332 00:14:19,734 --> 00:14:20,985 [static hissing] 333 00:14:22,195 --> 00:14:23,987 I just got the call, Peggy. 334 00:14:23,988 --> 00:14:25,155 Oh! [gasps] 335 00:14:25,156 --> 00:14:28,075 Yep. They want me to ref a high school game. 336 00:14:28,076 --> 00:14:30,411 Arlen versus Plano South 337 00:14:30,412 --> 00:14:33,289 - at Arlen Eagle Stadium. - [Tupperware gurgling] 338 00:14:33,998 --> 00:14:37,167 - [static] - [over radio] The biggest stadium in town. 339 00:14:37,168 --> 00:14:40,254 [breaking up] My duty-- be to enforce... 340 00:14:40,255 --> 00:14:41,672 Hoyeah! 341 00:14:41,673 --> 00:14:42,757 [kissing] 342 00:14:45,010 --> 00:14:47,886 - Well, what's wrong, honey? - It's a big game, Peggy. 343 00:14:47,887 --> 00:14:49,805 Even the mayor will be there. 344 00:14:49,806 --> 00:14:51,557 Her son plays for Arlen. 345 00:14:51,558 --> 00:14:54,309 Everyone will know I like soccer. 346 00:14:54,310 --> 00:14:57,229 Everyone? Or is it the guys in the alley? 347 00:14:57,230 --> 00:14:59,481 You listen to me, Hank Hill. 348 00:14:59,482 --> 00:15:02,359 If it were up to Dale, Bill, and Boomhauer, 349 00:15:02,360 --> 00:15:06,155 you would just spend your time drinking beer and complaining about... 350 00:15:06,156 --> 00:15:08,490 [in deep voice] "Oh, kids these days and their haircuts." 351 00:15:08,491 --> 00:15:10,534 [normal] You have evolved, honey. 352 00:15:10,535 --> 00:15:12,619 Maybe I have evolved. 353 00:15:12,620 --> 00:15:14,246 Although I still don't like 354 00:15:14,247 --> 00:15:17,416 women shaving their heads and dyeing what's left. 355 00:15:17,417 --> 00:15:19,043 They look like fruit. 356 00:15:19,044 --> 00:15:21,587 Honey, you deserve to ref this game. 357 00:15:21,588 --> 00:15:23,297 Those kids need you. 358 00:15:23,298 --> 00:15:26,216 - [static, breaking up] - [Hank] The mayor-- has-- kid... 359 00:15:26,217 --> 00:15:27,634 It's the only way. 360 00:15:27,635 --> 00:15:30,889 - [♪ dramatic music playing] - He's going to kidnap the mayor! 361 00:15:31,848 --> 00:15:34,558 You can't bring a horse into our garage. 362 00:15:34,559 --> 00:15:37,561 Get rid of it by tomorrow, or I'm going to evict you. 363 00:15:37,562 --> 00:15:39,563 Our upstairs neighbor has a dog! 364 00:15:39,564 --> 00:15:41,023 You have a horse! 365 00:15:41,024 --> 00:15:44,902 And it just shat all over my wife's Ford Focus! 366 00:15:44,903 --> 00:15:46,195 [receptionist] [on phone] I'm sorry, 367 00:15:46,196 --> 00:15:48,655 but our stables are all booked for the next month. 368 00:15:48,656 --> 00:15:51,158 Are you sure you can't help us out? 369 00:15:51,159 --> 00:15:54,161 I just spent $200 on apples and-- 370 00:15:54,162 --> 00:15:55,829 - [dial tone] - And she hung up. 371 00:15:55,830 --> 00:15:57,373 This is crazy! 372 00:15:57,374 --> 00:15:59,416 - I'm calling Bronco Barry! - [line ringing] 373 00:15:59,417 --> 00:16:01,835 [clears throat] Gotdangit, hello! 374 00:16:01,836 --> 00:16:04,380 Mr. Bronco Barry, sir, 375 00:16:04,381 --> 00:16:06,924 you told me we were allowed to keep horses 376 00:16:06,925 --> 00:16:08,842 in a residential area in Dallas-- 377 00:16:08,843 --> 00:16:10,844 No take-backs, mister! 378 00:16:10,845 --> 00:16:12,846 But, what about honesty? 379 00:16:12,847 --> 00:16:15,099 I thought we were fellow businessmen. 380 00:16:15,100 --> 00:16:16,892 [sarcastic] Oh, we are! 381 00:16:16,893 --> 00:16:20,270 And I out-businessed you! 382 00:16:20,271 --> 00:16:22,940 I've been trying to get rid of that horse for six months, 383 00:16:22,941 --> 00:16:25,943 and I ain't payin' a large animal vet 384 00:16:25,944 --> 00:16:29,905 or some kinda funeral horse home to take him. 385 00:16:29,906 --> 00:16:32,616 You know what they charge to bury horses? Huh? 386 00:16:32,617 --> 00:16:34,868 Do ya? Two grand! 387 00:16:34,869 --> 00:16:38,872 And I wouldn't pay that much to bury my own mammy. 388 00:16:38,873 --> 00:16:39,958 [hangs up] 389 00:16:40,417 --> 00:16:43,877 We might have to do the difficult thing. 390 00:16:43,878 --> 00:16:45,337 No! Not yet! 391 00:16:45,338 --> 00:16:46,714 He's a stone breed! 392 00:16:46,715 --> 00:16:49,426 I read online that they're low maintenance and don't eat a lot. 393 00:16:50,260 --> 00:16:51,677 [horse stomps feet, grunts] 394 00:16:51,678 --> 00:16:53,053 [yelps, stammers] 395 00:16:53,054 --> 00:16:55,097 - That was coconut shrimp! - [crunching] 396 00:16:55,098 --> 00:16:57,099 [♪ mysterious music playing] 397 00:16:57,100 --> 00:16:59,351 [night-vision goggles whirring] 398 00:16:59,352 --> 00:17:00,936 [treadmill whirring] 399 00:17:00,937 --> 00:17:03,856 Hey, Ref! Why don't you get your head outta your ass! 400 00:17:03,857 --> 00:17:05,942 [♪ mysterious music continues] 401 00:17:08,361 --> 00:17:09,362 [hissing] 402 00:17:10,864 --> 00:17:12,949 ♪ 403 00:17:21,499 --> 00:17:25,086 - [crowd chattering] - [♪ upbeat music playing] 404 00:17:31,718 --> 00:17:32,718 Thank you, Mayor. 405 00:17:32,719 --> 00:17:35,346 Uh, Mrs. Mayor? My name is Hank Hill, 406 00:17:35,347 --> 00:17:39,225 and it will be my honor to referee your son's game tonight. 407 00:17:39,684 --> 00:17:40,976 Okay... 408 00:17:40,977 --> 00:17:43,687 Just don't get too close. I wouldn't want it to look like 409 00:17:43,688 --> 00:17:45,689 I'm givin' Arlen special treatment. 410 00:17:45,690 --> 00:17:47,232 [softly chuckles] Uh... 411 00:17:47,233 --> 00:17:51,028 Well, well, if it isn't my esteemed successor, Mayor Seager. 412 00:17:51,029 --> 00:17:54,615 - I'm sorry, who are you? - The man who is saving your life. 413 00:17:54,616 --> 00:17:58,452 Now, if you don't mind, I need to borrow the good ref for a moment. 414 00:17:58,453 --> 00:18:01,663 This better be important, Dale. The game's about to start. 415 00:18:01,664 --> 00:18:03,624 Bill? What the hell? 416 00:18:03,625 --> 00:18:05,334 - [door slams] - [tires screeching] 417 00:18:05,335 --> 00:18:07,002 Dale, you're an idio-- 418 00:18:07,003 --> 00:18:08,754 - [Hank groaning] - [Dale] We had to stop you 419 00:18:08,755 --> 00:18:10,297 before you kidnapped the mayor, 420 00:18:10,298 --> 00:18:13,676 and whatever else you needed to do before you went to Terrorist Heaven 421 00:18:13,677 --> 00:18:16,303 and collected your 72 virgins! 422 00:18:16,304 --> 00:18:18,222 Is that what this is about, Hank? 423 00:18:18,223 --> 00:18:20,391 - The virgins?! - I'm sorry, Hank! 424 00:18:20,392 --> 00:18:21,851 [♪ dramatic music plays] 425 00:18:23,978 --> 00:18:26,355 [♪ mysterious music playing] 426 00:18:26,356 --> 00:18:28,440 - [smacks] - Ah! What the...? 427 00:18:28,441 --> 00:18:30,901 Dale, you better tell me what's goin' on right away, 428 00:18:30,902 --> 00:18:32,737 or I'm gonna kick your ass. 429 00:18:33,279 --> 00:18:37,741 I've been surveilling you and your honey trap, Hank Hill. 430 00:18:37,742 --> 00:18:39,702 - My honey trap? - Peggy! 431 00:18:39,703 --> 00:18:42,037 You two were turned into spies 432 00:18:42,038 --> 00:18:44,748 by the Saudi government while you were overseas! 433 00:18:44,749 --> 00:18:47,584 And how'd you arrive at that asinine conclusion? 434 00:18:47,585 --> 00:18:50,045 I suspected since day one, 435 00:18:50,046 --> 00:18:54,008 but soccer, obviously, was the final proof I needed. 436 00:18:54,009 --> 00:18:57,636 You've been corrupted by the Saudis' globalist agenda. 437 00:18:57,637 --> 00:19:00,431 One nation, under soccer! 438 00:19:00,432 --> 00:19:03,892 Did it ever occur to you that I might actually like soccer? 439 00:19:03,893 --> 00:19:06,311 Ha-ha! Good one! 440 00:19:06,312 --> 00:19:07,814 [snickering] 441 00:19:08,481 --> 00:19:10,649 I was hoping I wouldn't have to do this, Hank, 442 00:19:10,650 --> 00:19:12,943 but I downloaded a recipe 443 00:19:12,944 --> 00:19:16,196 for homemade truth serum off the Dark Web, 444 00:19:16,197 --> 00:19:21,410 and I'm gonna use it until you reveal who's funding your treasonous plot. 445 00:19:21,411 --> 00:19:23,078 How do you know that won't kill me? 446 00:19:23,079 --> 00:19:24,788 While you were unconscious, 447 00:19:24,789 --> 00:19:27,291 I tried it on Bill to test the dosage. 448 00:19:27,292 --> 00:19:29,585 Bill! Tell me the truth! 449 00:19:29,586 --> 00:19:31,962 I'm scared! I'm lonely and scared! 450 00:19:31,963 --> 00:19:33,380 See? 451 00:19:33,381 --> 00:19:35,007 It works. 452 00:19:35,008 --> 00:19:38,261 ♪ 453 00:19:40,096 --> 00:19:41,388 - [bullhorn screeches] - Attention! 454 00:19:41,389 --> 00:19:43,307 Our referee has gone MIA. 455 00:19:43,308 --> 00:19:45,184 We can't find him anywhere. 456 00:19:45,185 --> 00:19:46,852 Does anyone know how to ref? 457 00:19:46,853 --> 00:19:49,063 If we don't find one, we're gonna have to forfeit, 458 00:19:49,064 --> 00:19:50,272 and there won't be any refunds! 459 00:19:50,273 --> 00:19:53,317 - [crowd booing, groaning] - [Boomhauer sighs] 460 00:19:53,318 --> 00:19:55,569 - [♪ suspenseful music plays] - [Hank] Wait! 461 00:19:55,570 --> 00:19:58,572 Dale, there's no need for that. I'll tell you the truth. 462 00:19:58,573 --> 00:20:00,574 I'm listening. 463 00:20:00,575 --> 00:20:04,453 You were right. But, you only have part of the story. 464 00:20:04,454 --> 00:20:06,288 I'm a double agent. 465 00:20:06,289 --> 00:20:07,373 Ah! 466 00:20:07,374 --> 00:20:11,418 I was recruited by the US government to spy on the Saudis. 467 00:20:11,419 --> 00:20:13,922 Propane repair was just my cover. 468 00:20:14,464 --> 00:20:17,883 I knew a sheep like Bill wouldn't be able to understand the complexity 469 00:20:17,884 --> 00:20:19,510 of an operation like this. 470 00:20:19,511 --> 00:20:22,180 But, you've probably been ahead of it the whole time. 471 00:20:23,348 --> 00:20:25,808 Yes. Yes, I was. 472 00:20:25,809 --> 00:20:28,727 And liking soccer was part of the subterfuge? 473 00:20:28,728 --> 00:20:33,190 It was the only way to trick the Saudis into thinking I was working for them. 474 00:20:33,191 --> 00:20:34,692 That is brilliant. 475 00:20:34,693 --> 00:20:36,235 - [♪ patriotic music playing] - [syringe clatters] 476 00:20:36,236 --> 00:20:38,237 [sniffles] Thank you for you service, patriot. 477 00:20:38,238 --> 00:20:40,989 I apologize for all this. 478 00:20:40,990 --> 00:20:42,366 I should've trusted you. 479 00:20:42,367 --> 00:20:43,992 And my gut, 480 00:20:43,993 --> 00:20:45,911 but I let Bill wind me up. 481 00:20:45,912 --> 00:20:47,079 [groaning] 482 00:20:47,080 --> 00:20:49,666 [retching] 483 00:20:52,544 --> 00:20:54,044 I do not understand. 484 00:20:54,045 --> 00:20:57,381 So, Dale thought you were an international super spy 485 00:20:57,382 --> 00:21:00,926 because you started liking soccer in Saudi Arabia? 486 00:21:00,927 --> 00:21:04,972 Peggy, I couldn't explain Dale's insanity under normal circumstances, 487 00:21:04,973 --> 00:21:06,557 but now, there's no time. 488 00:21:06,558 --> 00:21:09,476 Step on it! Get me to that game before they forfeit! 489 00:21:09,477 --> 00:21:11,353 - My bad boy is back. - [stomps pedal] 490 00:21:11,354 --> 00:21:12,688 Hoyeah! 491 00:21:12,689 --> 00:21:14,357 [tires screeching] 492 00:21:15,191 --> 00:21:16,692 - [♪ drum music playing] - [crowd cheering] 493 00:21:16,693 --> 00:21:19,361 What in the hell is goin' on here? 494 00:21:19,362 --> 00:21:21,155 - [players shouting] - [thuds] 495 00:21:21,156 --> 00:21:23,240 - [shouting continues] - [grunts] 496 00:21:23,241 --> 00:21:24,742 - [cheering] - When they couldn't find you, 497 00:21:24,743 --> 00:21:26,118 Boomhauer stepped in. 498 00:21:26,119 --> 00:21:28,704 He made a few changes. 499 00:21:28,705 --> 00:21:31,540 Changes? He ruined a beautiful game! 500 00:21:31,541 --> 00:21:33,542 Hold on, Hank. Just look around. 501 00:21:33,543 --> 00:21:36,253 Does this game look ruined to you? 502 00:21:36,254 --> 00:21:38,213 - [♪ inspiring music playing] - [players grunting] 503 00:21:38,214 --> 00:21:39,840 - [crowd cheering] - [blows whistle] 504 00:21:39,841 --> 00:21:41,050 Dang it. On-- Play on! 505 00:21:41,051 --> 00:21:43,428 - [♪ inspiring music continues] - [crowd cheering] 506 00:21:44,888 --> 00:21:46,680 That 'em dang ol' wrestle, man. 507 00:21:46,681 --> 00:21:49,183 [both grunting] 508 00:21:49,184 --> 00:21:50,267 That's now an Arlen ball. 509 00:21:50,268 --> 00:21:52,604 [crowd cheering] 510 00:21:53,563 --> 00:21:54,563 [grunting] 511 00:21:54,564 --> 00:21:56,358 [groaning] 512 00:21:57,400 --> 00:21:58,942 Yes, it is ruined. 513 00:21:58,943 --> 00:22:02,029 Boomhauer's just turned soccer into football. 514 00:22:02,030 --> 00:22:05,699 And wrestling. And some kinda mixed martial arts. 515 00:22:05,700 --> 00:22:07,159 - [grunts] - [crowd cheering] 516 00:22:07,160 --> 00:22:10,412 Not to mention, he missed about five offsides calls. 517 00:22:10,413 --> 00:22:13,999 Eh... [scoffs] Nobody understands that rule anyway. 518 00:22:14,000 --> 00:22:15,918 Forget it, Hank. 519 00:22:15,919 --> 00:22:17,711 - It's Texas. - [crowd cheering] 520 00:22:17,712 --> 00:22:19,756 [♪ gentle guitar music playing] 521 00:22:20,757 --> 00:22:22,466 Okay. What if I tell the landlord 522 00:22:22,467 --> 00:22:25,427 that Switzer is my emotional support animal, like-- 523 00:22:25,428 --> 00:22:27,304 Joseph, I love you, 524 00:22:27,305 --> 00:22:29,473 but that is the dumbest thing I've ever heard. 525 00:22:29,474 --> 00:22:32,309 Why do you always hate my ideas?! 526 00:22:32,310 --> 00:22:35,396 Why don't you guys just call John Redcorn? 527 00:22:35,397 --> 00:22:38,107 - [♪ mystical music plays] - I see what happened here. 528 00:22:38,108 --> 00:22:41,819 - You do? - You fell for the oldest scam in the book. 529 00:22:41,820 --> 00:22:44,947 The "Pale Face Pawn Off." 530 00:22:44,948 --> 00:22:47,241 My people have been pulling a version of this 531 00:22:47,242 --> 00:22:48,909 on the white man for years. 532 00:22:48,910 --> 00:22:51,161 It's how we get rid of our used livestock. 533 00:22:51,162 --> 00:22:55,000 Okay. So, is there anything you can do to help us? 534 00:22:55,709 --> 00:22:56,709 [horse nickers] 535 00:22:56,710 --> 00:22:59,003 [♪ mystical music playing] 536 00:22:59,004 --> 00:23:01,131 - [Joseph laughing] - [wind blowing] 537 00:23:04,676 --> 00:23:05,759 [laughter] 538 00:23:05,760 --> 00:23:07,761 - [Joseph] Woo-hoo! - [horses whinnying] 539 00:23:07,762 --> 00:23:09,471 I'll take the horse to my land. 540 00:23:09,472 --> 00:23:13,308 But, only if you two knuckleheads agree to come visit him. 541 00:23:13,309 --> 00:23:15,769 I think I'm done with horses for now, 542 00:23:15,770 --> 00:23:20,232 but that sounds like a great thing for you and Joseph to do together. 543 00:23:20,233 --> 00:23:22,235 - [♪ gentle music playing] - [horse snorts] 544 00:23:23,820 --> 00:23:27,406 I am sure Arlen will be ready for soccer someday. 545 00:23:27,407 --> 00:23:28,532 Yeah, you're right. 546 00:23:28,533 --> 00:23:32,578 I guess for now, it'll just have to be our dirty little secret. 547 00:23:32,579 --> 00:23:33,747 [mischievously laughs] 548 00:23:34,205 --> 00:23:37,791 To be honest, Hank, it just does not feel as forbidden now. 549 00:23:37,792 --> 00:23:40,753 - Even my dad would approve. - [sighs] 550 00:23:40,754 --> 00:23:43,255 But, you know what does get my motor running? 551 00:23:43,256 --> 00:23:45,716 The idea of you being a big, 552 00:23:45,717 --> 00:23:48,719 - bad foreign spy. - Heh. 553 00:23:48,720 --> 00:23:52,014 Are you saying you'd like to be my honey trap? 554 00:23:52,015 --> 00:23:54,308 [in Russian accent] Da! Call me Natasha. 555 00:23:54,309 --> 00:23:55,392 [kisses] 556 00:23:55,393 --> 00:23:57,061 [Hank] [on radio, breaking up] Gonna have to... 557 00:23:57,062 --> 00:23:59,396 assassinate... the president. 558 00:23:59,397 --> 00:24:01,857 [Peggy Hill] Zee eagle flies at dawn. 559 00:24:01,858 --> 00:24:03,442 Get the chloroform. 560 00:24:03,443 --> 00:24:04,861 [♪ dramatic music playing] 561 00:24:05,528 --> 00:24:08,782 [♪ "Yahoos and Triangles" by The Refreshments playing] 562 00:24:24,255 --> 00:24:26,633 - ♪ Yee-haw! ♪ - ♪ Wa-hoo! ♪ 563 00:24:45,110 --> 00:24:46,110 [♪ song ends] 564 00:24:46,111 --> 00:24:47,194 [birds chirping] 565 00:24:47,195 --> 00:24:49,113 - [golf club thumps] - [crowd cheering] 566 00:24:49,114 --> 00:24:51,156 ♪ 567 00:24:51,157 --> 00:24:54,159 [Peggy] I would never eat food that has been in your home. 568 00:24:54,160 --> 00:24:57,163 [♪ fanfare playing] 568 00:24:58,305 --> 00:25:58,172 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org