[Script Info]
ScriptType: v4.00+
Collisions: Normal
PlayResX: 718
PlayResY: 480
Timer: 100.0
WrapStyle: 0

[V4+ Styles]
Format: Name, Fontname, Fontsize, PrimaryColour, SecondaryColour, OutlineColour, BackColour, Bold, Italic, Underline, StrikeOut, ScaleX, ScaleY, Spacing, Angle, BorderStyle, Outline, Shadow, Alignment, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Encoding
Style: Default,Lucida Console,30,&H00FFFFFF,&H00FFFFFF,&H000F0F0F,&H000F0F0F,0,0,0,0,100,100,0,0.00,1,2,3,2,20,20,20,0

[Events]
Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Actor, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text
Dialogue: 0,0:00:05.99,0:00:07.12,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}(audience applauding)
Dialogue: 0,0:00:07.52,0:00:10.29,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}♪ Bawitdaba, da bang, da\Ndang diggy diggy, diggy ♪
Dialogue: 0,0:00:10.29,0:00:12.79,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}♪ Said the boogie, said\N\hup jump the boogie ♪
Dialogue: 0,0:00:12.80,0:00:16.91,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}(energetic rock music)
Dialogue: 0,0:00:16.90,0:00:17.90,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}{\i1}Ladies and gentlemen,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:17.90,0:00:21.67,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}{\i1}please welcome Robin Williams!
Dialogue: 0,0:00:21.67,0:00:23.30,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}(audience cheering)
Dialogue: 0,0:00:23.31,0:00:26.08,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}♪ Bawitdaba, da bang, da\Ndang diggy diggy, diggy ♪
Dialogue: 0,0:00:26.08,0:00:27.09,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(306,432)}Music!
Dialogue: 0,0:00:27.08,0:00:28.48,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}♪ Said up jump the boogie ♪
Dialogue: 0,0:00:28.48,0:00:31.55,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}♪ Bawitdaba, da bang, da\Ndang diggy diggy, diggy ♪
Dialogue: 0,0:00:31.55,0:00:32.85,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}♪ Said the boogie, said\N\hup jump the boogie ♪
Dialogue: 0,0:00:32.85,0:00:33.75,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(332,432)}No!
Dialogue: 0,0:00:33.75,0:00:34.82,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}♪ Bawitdaba, da bang,\Nda dang diggy diggy ♪
Dialogue: 0,0:00:34.82,0:00:36.05,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(306,432)}Please.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:36.05,0:00:38.79,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}♪ Diggy said the boogie,\Nsaid up jump the boogie ♪
Dialogue: 0,0:00:38.79,0:00:40.86,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}♪ Bawitdaba, da bang,\Nda dang diggy diggy ♪
Dialogue: 0,0:00:40.86,0:00:41.86,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(293,432)}Sit down!
Dialogue: 0,0:00:42.86,0:00:44.36,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(280,432)}Thank you!
Dialogue: 0,0:00:44.96,0:00:46.03,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(280,432)}Thank you!
Dialogue: 0,0:00:47.03,0:00:49.10,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}What's up, D.C.?
Dialogue: 0,0:00:49.10,0:00:50.60,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}(audience cheering)
Dialogue: 0,0:00:50.60,0:00:52.50,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(267,432)}Yes, indeed!
Dialogue: 0,0:00:52.50,0:00:53.44,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(267,432)}Yes, indeed!
Dialogue: 0,0:00:54.94,0:00:56.44,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(254,432)}Wow, thank you.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:56.44,0:00:59.94,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}(audience cheering)
Dialogue: 0,0:00:59.94,0:01:01.44,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(319,432)}Mmm.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:01.44,0:01:02.31,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(280,432)}Thank you.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:02.61,0:01:04.18,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}Please, I've had\N\hheart surgery.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:04.18,0:01:05.08,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(280,432)}Thank you.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:05.98,0:01:09.55,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}It's nice to be in Washington,\N\h\hwhere the buck stops here.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:09.55,0:01:11.05,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(280,432)}Way to go.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:11.05,0:01:14.06,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}And then it's handed out to\NAIG and many other people.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:14.06,0:01:17.56,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}\h\h\h\hNow, I have the new\NTimothy Geithner $20-bill.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:17.56,0:01:19.56,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}It's just been printed,\N\h\h\h\h\hkind of neat.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:19.56,0:01:23.06,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}Instead of in God we trust,\N\h\hit just says trust me.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:23.07,0:01:24.58,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}(audience laughing)
Dialogue: 0,0:01:24.57,0:01:26.57,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}And it says spend\N\hbefore Tuesday.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:27.57,0:01:29.57,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}\hAnd also instead\Nof Andrew Jackson,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:29.57,0:01:31.74,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}it has the little man\Nfrom Monopoly going.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:31.74,0:01:34.31,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}(audience laughing)
Dialogue: 0,0:01:34.31,0:01:35.64,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}And I know many of you\N\h\h\hhave been looking
Dialogue: 0,0:01:35.88,0:01:36.95,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}for Sarah Palin's book.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:36.95,0:01:38.95,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}It is a bitch to find.\N\h\h\h\h\h\hGood luck.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:40.45,0:01:42.95,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}I found it somewhere between\N\h\h\hfiction and non-fiction
Dialogue: 0,0:01:42.95,0:01:44.95,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}in the fantasy aisle.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:44.95,0:01:45.95,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(137,432)}(audience laughing and cheering)
Dialogue: 0,0:01:45.96,0:01:47.47,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}It was kind of fun.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:48.32,0:01:49.39,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(280,432)}Wonderful.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:51.83,0:01:55.46,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}Do you get the feeling with\NSarah Palin in high school,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:55.47,0:01:57.34,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hshe was voted\N"least likely to write a book
Dialogue: 0,0:01:57.33,0:01:58.83,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}"and most likely to burn one?"
Dialogue: 0,0:01:58.84,0:02:00.85,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}Do you think that might've...?
Dialogue: 0,0:02:00.84,0:02:01.84,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}She's pretty wild.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:01.84,0:02:03.84,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}Baby, I love her.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:03.84,0:02:04.84,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}And also, Oprah.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:04.84,0:02:07.84,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}\hOprah has retired, is\Ngonna retire her show.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:07.84,0:02:08.84,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}Please say it isn't so!
Dialogue: 0,0:02:08.85,0:02:11.39,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}Oprah's gonna retire her show.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:11.38,0:02:13.85,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}I hope she's not bummed out\Nabout losing the Olympics.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:13.85,0:02:15.28,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}I hope that's not it.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:15.79,0:02:16.79,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}It wasn't really fair.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:16.79,0:02:18.80,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}\h\h\hChicago sent\NOprah and Michelle,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:18.79,0:02:22.12,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}Brazil sent 50 strippers\N\h\hand a pound of blow.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:22.13,0:02:23.13,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}(audience laughing)
Dialogue: 0,0:02:23.13,0:02:24.54,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}It's like, what?
Dialogue: 0,0:02:27.70,0:02:30.00,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}Do you think the Olympic\N\h\h\hcommittee was going
Dialogue: 0,0:02:30.00,0:02:33.03,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}Oprah, shaved pussy?
Dialogue: 0,0:02:35.04,0:02:36.54,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}Oprah, would you?
Dialogue: 0,0:02:36.54,0:02:38.04,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}Okay, we're gonna have\N\h\h\h\hto go this way.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:39.38,0:02:43.56,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}And who the fuck thinks that\N\hRio is safer than Chicago?
Dialogue: 0,0:02:43.55,0:02:44.78,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(306,432)}My God.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:44.78,0:02:46.85,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}\h\h\hThey're gonna have to\Nmake kidnapping and waxing
Dialogue: 0,0:02:46.85,0:02:48.35,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(254,432)}Olympic events.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:49.85,0:02:51.99,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}Degree of difficulty, 5.3.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:51.99,0:02:52.79,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}(mimics ripping)
Dialogue: 0,0:02:52.79,0:02:55.29,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}(audience laughing)
Dialogue: 0,0:02:55.29,0:02:56.22,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}But it is interesting.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:56.23,0:02:58.30,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hThey have the\NWinter Olympics in Vancouver
Dialogue: 0,0:02:58.29,0:03:00.30,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}and the torch is heading\N\hacross Canada right now
Dialogue: 0,0:03:00.30,0:03:01.30,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}and already in BC.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:01.30,0:03:04.30,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}They're lighting torches\N\h\hgoing, we're waiting.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:05.30,0:03:07.14,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}Come on, you folks who just\N\h\hcame from Capitol Hill.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:07.14,0:03:09.14,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}\h\hCome on down.\NWhere do you go?
Dialogue: 0,0:03:09.14,0:03:10.00,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}How are you my friends?
Dialogue: 0,0:03:10.01,0:03:10.88,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}Grab some seats.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:10.87,0:03:11.84,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}You were caught in.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:11.84,0:03:13.78,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}(audience shouting)
Dialogue: 0,0:03:13.78,0:03:14.34,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(319,432)}What?
Dialogue: 0,0:03:16.35,0:03:17.36,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}That's your old boss?
Dialogue: 0,0:03:18.65,0:03:19.91,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}Did you fuck him?
Dialogue: 0,0:03:19.92,0:03:23.86,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}(audience laughing)
Dialogue: 0,0:03:23.85,0:03:24.75,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(306,432)}Sorry.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:24.75,0:03:25.69,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(319,432)}Okay.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:27.66,0:03:31.66,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}Not an inappropriate question\N\h\h\h\hto ask in Washington.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:32.16,0:03:32.73,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(332,432)}No.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:32.73,0:03:35.30,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}And he's going, no, no!
Dialogue: 0,0:03:35.30,0:03:38.17,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}She was just a page, it's okay!
Dialogue: 0,0:03:39.74,0:03:40.25,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}And it was weird.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:40.24,0:03:41.74,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}In California this summer,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:41.74,0:03:44.74,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}all the state parks caught\N\h\h\hon fire which was sad
Dialogue: 0,0:03:45.24,0:03:46.74,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}because these parks\N\hare full of weed.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:46.74,0:03:48.24,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(254,432)}It's bad news.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:48.24,0:03:49.74,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}(audience laughing)
Dialogue: 0,0:03:49.75,0:03:52.26,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}It's like even the guys\N\h\hfighting the fires
Dialogue: 0,0:03:52.25,0:03:54.38,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}are like (laughing).
Dialogue: 0,0:03:54.88,0:03:56.38,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(319,432)}Fuck!
Dialogue: 0,0:03:56.39,0:03:56.86,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(280,432)}Oh, my God!
Dialogue: 0,0:03:56.85,0:03:59.39,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}Make another rainbow, Tommy!
Dialogue: 0,0:04:00.19,0:04:01.49,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(280,432)}Oh, my God!
Dialogue: 0,0:04:02.49,0:04:03.49,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(280,432)}It's weird.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:05.80,0:04:09.71,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}Even Smokey the Bear was\Ngoing, "Only you can..."
Dialogue: 0,0:04:11.70,0:04:13.70,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}Shit, I knew this.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:14.70,0:04:15.70,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(319,432)}Fuck.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:17.21,0:04:20.71,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}And California weed is\Nkick-ass fucking weed.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:20.71,0:04:22.21,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}\hThis is weed that\Neven Jamaicans go,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:22.21,0:04:24.71,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}"Oh, don't smoke\Nthat weed, man."
Dialogue: 0,0:04:25.52,0:04:26.82,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}It's California catatonic.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:26.82,0:04:29.36,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}\h\hIt's the type of weed\Nyou hit it and it's like,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:29.35,0:04:30.42,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(306,432)}"Fuck!
Dialogue: 0,0:04:31.42,0:04:32.42,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(306,432)}"Shit!
Dialogue: 0,0:04:32.89,0:04:34.92,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}"I'm not doing something.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:35.93,0:04:37.94,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(267,432)}"What is it?
Dialogue: 0,0:04:37.93,0:04:39.73,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}"Oh right, breathe!"
Dialogue: 0,0:04:39.73,0:04:40.53,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(293,432)}(exhales)
Dialogue: 0,0:04:42.03,0:04:44.07,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}\hAnd you get so stoned, you\Nend up sitting on your couch
Dialogue: 0,0:04:44.07,0:04:46.07,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}for a week to the point\Nwhere your cat's going,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:46.07,0:04:47.94,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}"Get up, you asshole!
Dialogue: 0,0:04:48.94,0:04:52.44,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}\h"I've been eating my own\Nshit for the last two days!
Dialogue: 0,0:04:52.44,0:04:56.31,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}\h\h\h"I know I'm mellow, but\Nthis is fucking ridiculous!"
Dialogue: 0,0:04:56.31,0:04:58.88,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(137,432)}And if they legalize it, they're\N\h\h\h\hgonna have to regulate it
Dialogue: 0,0:04:58.88,0:05:00.88,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}and they're gonna have to a\Nwarning on a box of joints.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:00.88,0:05:05.05,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}\h\h\h\hIt's gonna have to say,\N"Surgeon General has determined
Dialogue: 0,0:05:05.05,0:05:09.06,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}this will make your\N\h\hmusic awesome."
Dialogue: 0,0:05:09.06,0:05:10.56,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(280,432)}Even Yanni.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:11.06,0:05:12.53,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}(audience laughing)
Dialogue: 0,0:05:12.53,0:05:16.70,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}\hAnd if you thought you\Nenjoyed cartoons before.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:16.70,0:05:17.70,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(293,432)}Like, hm.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:17.70,0:05:18.67,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}And if they're gonna have ads,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:19.24,0:05:20.24,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}they're gonna have ads\N\h\h\hand it'll be like
Dialogue: 0,0:05:20.24,0:05:23.25,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}instead of the Marlboro man,\N\hit'll be the Mendocino man.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:23.24,0:05:24.87,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}It'll be a cowboy on the\N\hback of a horse going,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:24.87,0:05:26.81,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}"Shit, am I thirsty, goddamn."
Dialogue: 0,0:05:28.31,0:05:29.28,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}Even the horse will be going,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:29.28,0:05:32.55,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}"I don't know where\N\h\hthe fuck I am."
Dialogue: 0,0:05:32.55,0:05:34.88,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}Goddamn, I got a little\N\h\hcotton mouth here.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:34.88,0:05:35.82,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(280,432)}Goddammit.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:37.32,0:05:39.72,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}And the weird fucking thing\Nwith these weather systems,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:39.72,0:05:42.22,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}\h\hthe storms right now\Nhave been fucking insane.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:42.23,0:05:44.24,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}Kick-ass tornadoes\N\h\hin the Midwest.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:44.23,0:05:46.23,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}It used to be in the Midwest\N\h\h\hwhen you had a tornado,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:46.23,0:05:47.50,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}\hit was like "Everybody\Nget in the root cellar."
Dialogue: 0,0:05:47.50,0:05:49.66,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}Not anymore. You fuckers are\N\hlike, "Get a video camera!
Dialogue: 0,0:05:49.67,0:05:50.74,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(267,432)}Get outside!"
Dialogue: 0,0:05:52.24,0:05:53.24,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}\h"Film it, Bobby!\NHow's the tornado?
Dialogue: 0,0:05:53.24,0:05:57.12,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}"It just blew my pants off.\NKeep shooting, fuckin'-a!"
Dialogue: 0,0:05:57.11,0:05:58.47,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}You know the difference\N\h\h\hbetween a tornado
Dialogue: 0,0:05:58.47,0:05:59.47,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}and divorce in the South?
Dialogue: 0,0:05:59.48,0:06:01.99,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}\hNothing, someone's losing\Ntheir trailer, number one.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:02.28,0:06:03.08,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}(audience laughing)
Dialogue: 0,0:06:03.08,0:06:04.58,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(254,432)}It's like, mm!
Dialogue: 0,0:06:05.08,0:06:06.08,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(293,432)}Goddamn!
Dialogue: 0,0:06:07.12,0:06:09.48,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}(audience cheering\N\h\hand applauding)
Dialogue: 0,0:06:09.49,0:06:11.80,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(137,432)}The hurricanes have been getting\N\h\h\hbigger and fucking bigger.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:11.79,0:06:14.79,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(137,432)}And they usually give them names\N\hthat don't really inspire fear.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:14.79,0:06:18.79,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}Like "Hurricane Terrence"\N\hdoes not inspire fear.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:18.79,0:06:22.30,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}\h\hThis sounds like a\Nslightly gay hurricane.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:22.30,0:06:23.30,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}Where are you going?
Dialogue: 0,0:06:23.30,0:06:25.30,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}\h\h\h\hI might go to Boca,\NI might go to South Beach.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:25.30,0:06:26.80,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(267,432)}I don't know.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:27.80,0:06:30.81,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}\h\h\h\hAll I know is\Nblowing is involved.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:30.81,0:06:31.87,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}(audience laughing)
Dialogue: 0,0:06:31.87,0:06:32.87,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(332,432)}{\i1}Yes!
Dialogue: 0,0:06:33.88,0:06:36.58,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}\h\hAnd they should\Nname the hurricanes
Dialogue: 0,0:06:36.58,0:06:38.15,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}\hafter the people it's\Ngonna be fucking with.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:38.15,0:06:40.65,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}If it's going to Texas,\N\hHurricane Billy Ray.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:40.65,0:06:41.65,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(254,432)}"Come on now."
Dialogue: 0,0:06:41.65,0:06:42.65,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}What are you gonna do?
Dialogue: 0,0:06:42.65,0:06:44.65,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}\h\h\h"Fuck shit up,\Nthat's what goes on."
Dialogue: 0,0:06:44.65,0:06:47.66,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}If it's off the coast of\NMiami, Hurricane Bernie.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:49.13,0:06:51.34,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}He took our 401k. The goniff's\N\h\hcoming back for the House.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:51.33,0:06:53.69,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}\h\h\h\hMove out!\NLet's fucking go!
Dialogue: 0,0:06:53.70,0:06:56.71,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}\h\hAnd when they named a\Nhurricane, Hurricane Ike,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:57.20,0:06:59.50,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}\hI went, finally, they have\Nthe balls to name a hurricane
Dialogue: 0,0:06:59.50,0:07:01.50,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}\h\hafter a crack-smoking,\Nwife-beating motherfucker.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:01.50,0:07:02.50,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(319,432)}Yeah!
Dialogue: 0,0:07:03.51,0:07:04.52,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}Even Tina Turner would go,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:04.94,0:07:07.88,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}"You'd better get your shit\N\hand get out of the house.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:07.88,0:07:12.11,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}\h\h\h\h"'cause Ike never does\Nanything nice and easy, never."
Dialogue: 0,0:07:12.11,0:07:13.61,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}And the hurricanes have\N\h\hbeen getting so big
Dialogue: 0,0:07:13.62,0:07:15.63,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}\h\h\hthat even the guy on the\Nweather channel is freaked out.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:15.62,0:07:16.62,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}He's going, "Okay, let's go
Dialogue: 0,0:07:16.62,0:07:19.09,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}to our new hurricane\N\h\h\h\hweather map.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:19.09,0:07:20.09,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(319,432)}Fuck!
Dialogue: 0,0:07:21.96,0:07:24.36,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}{\i1}This is Hurricane Shavon.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:24.86,0:07:27.33,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}The map is the entire South.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:27.33,0:07:29.70,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}{\i1}The asshole in the\Nmiddle is Dallas.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:31.83,0:07:34.40,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(280,432)}Um, crazy.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:34.40,0:07:37.37,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}(audience cheering)
Dialogue: 0,0:07:38.84,0:07:39.91,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}Back to you, Ted.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:39.91,0:07:40.91,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}I just shit myself.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:42.41,0:07:43.91,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}And they always go down\N\hto some poor fuckers
Dialogue: 0,0:07:43.91,0:07:45.41,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}\h\h\h\hon the coast in the\Nmiddle of the storm going,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:45.41,0:07:47.38,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}"Carl, how's it down\Nthere on the coast?"
Dialogue: 0,0:07:47.38,0:07:48.85,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(293,432)}"Not bad!
Dialogue: 0,0:07:49.35,0:07:51.35,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}"Seems to be kicking up!"
Dialogue: 0,0:07:52.36,0:07:53.97,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}\h\hAnd then there's\Nalways the aftermath
Dialogue: 0,0:07:53.96,0:07:55.46,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(137,432)}where they interview some family
Dialogue: 0,0:07:55.46,0:07:56.96,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}standing in the wreckage\N\h\hof their beach house
Dialogue: 0,0:07:56.96,0:07:57.89,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}and they're always going like,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:57.89,0:08:01.43,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}hurricane came and\Ntore everything up.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:01.43,0:08:03.43,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}And we had just rebuilt.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:04.43,0:08:05.43,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(293,432)}Time out.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:06.94,0:08:08.88,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}How often do you rebuild?
Dialogue: 0,0:08:08.87,0:08:09.94,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(280,432)}Every year.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:10.81,0:08:12.37,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}Why do you rebuild here?
Dialogue: 0,0:08:12.38,0:08:13.62,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}We love the view.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:14.68,0:08:16.74,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}Well, you may want to get\Nsome styrofoam furniture
Dialogue: 0,0:08:16.75,0:08:18.76,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}that goes up and fucking down.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:20.05,0:08:23.52,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}Some things that you\N\hcan hose off maybe.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:23.52,0:08:27.02,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}But the weird thing is,\NI can't give them shit.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:27.02,0:08:28.59,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}I like in California.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:28.59,0:08:31.09,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}I live on God's Etch-A-Sketch.\N\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hIt's crazy.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:31.09,0:08:32.59,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}(audience laughing)
Dialogue: 0,0:08:32.60,0:08:33.60,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}We have earthquakes\N\h\hevery other day
Dialogue: 0,0:08:34.06,0:08:36.23,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}and you get kind of blasé.\N\h\h\h\h\hLike, "Oh, fuck."
Dialogue: 0,0:08:37.57,0:08:39.60,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(267,432)}2.5, not bad.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:41.07,0:08:42.04,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(293,432)}Oh, shit!
Dialogue: 0,0:08:43.04,0:08:46.31,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}5.8, maybe we should have\Ndrinks outside. Let's go.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:48.08,0:08:50.58,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}And they always talk\Nabout "the big one."
Dialogue: 0,0:08:50.58,0:08:52.38,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}I was in a 7.5 earthquake.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:52.38,0:08:54.78,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}That was a fuck me moment.\N\h\h\hThat was a (screams).
Dialogue: 0,0:08:54.78,0:08:57.82,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}\h\h\h\h\h\hAnd they went,\N"That was not the big one."
Dialogue: 0,0:08:57.82,0:08:59.32,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}\hReally? Well, what\Nwill the big one be?
Dialogue: 0,0:08:59.32,0:09:01.82,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}\h\hWell, in the big one, if\Nthere is the big earthquake,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:01.82,0:09:05.83,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}\h\h\h\h\hNevada will be\NWine Country, number one.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:05.83,0:09:07.33,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}And when will the big one be?
Dialogue: 0,0:09:07.33,0:09:08.83,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}\h\h\h\hWell, we have a\Nwindow of opportunity.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:08.83,0:09:09.83,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}Well, what will that be?
Dialogue: 0,0:09:09.83,0:09:10.83,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}Could be tomorrow
Dialogue: 0,0:09:11.83,0:09:13.83,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}or 10,000 years from now.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:14.34,0:09:17.34,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}\h\hWell, thanks for\Nthe fucking heads-up.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:17.34,0:09:18.84,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}The only warning you\N\hhave is if your cat
Dialogue: 0,0:09:19.34,0:09:22.21,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}is spread-eagle in the\N\hdoorway like (howls).
Dialogue: 0,0:09:22.21,0:09:23.71,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}Get the fuck out.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:24.71,0:09:29.12,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(137,432)}And if your parrot starts going,\N\h\h"Pack the car, pack the car!
Dialogue: 0,0:09:29.12,0:09:32.12,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}"Food and water,\Nfood and water!"
Dialogue: 0,0:09:32.12,0:09:33.62,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}Also, if you have a parrot,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:33.62,0:09:35.12,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}do not leave them\N\hin the bedroom.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:35.12,0:09:36.59,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}They hear everything.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:36.59,0:09:38.13,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}\hAll of the sudden you'll\Nhave guests over for dinner
Dialogue: 0,0:09:38.13,0:09:39.86,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}and the parrot will go,\N\h\h\h\h"Not the ass."
Dialogue: 0,0:09:39.86,0:09:40.83,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(319,432)}Whoa!
Dialogue: 0,0:09:40.83,0:09:42.63,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}(audience laughing)
Dialogue: 0,0:09:42.63,0:09:43.70,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(306,432)}"Petey!
Dialogue: 0,0:09:45.63,0:09:48.57,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(137,432)}"He's been watching porn again."
Dialogue: 0,0:09:48.57,0:09:50.71,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}"Fuck me, Teddy!\N\hFuck me hard!"
Dialogue: 0,0:09:52.37,0:09:54.14,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}"Honey, who's Teddy?
Dialogue: 0,0:09:54.14,0:09:55.64,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}(audience laughing)
Dialogue: 0,0:09:55.64,0:09:56.64,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(306,432)}"Hmm."
Dialogue: 0,0:09:57.71,0:10:00.72,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}And the weird thing is
Dialogue: 0,0:10:01.72,0:10:04.72,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(137,432)}\h\h\h\hyou try and do your part\Nto reduce your carbon footprint.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:04.72,0:10:07.22,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}\hAnd if you have a hybrid,\NGod bless you, sweet cars.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:07.22,0:10:08.72,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}But especially if you drive\Nthem outside a major city,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:08.72,0:10:10.73,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}you get into little cities\N\hespecially in the South,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:10.73,0:10:11.73,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}it becomes kind of interesting.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:11.73,0:10:14.10,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}\hYou pull into a small\Ngas station, it's like,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:14.10,0:10:15.46,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}"What the fuck is this?"
Dialogue: 0,0:10:15.46,0:10:16.96,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}(audience laughing)
Dialogue: 0,0:10:16.97,0:10:18.48,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}\h\h\h\hBobby, get over here.\NIt's one of them new inbreds!
Dialogue: 0,0:10:18.47,0:10:19.83,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}Look at this motherfucker.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:21.40,0:10:24.14,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}Shit, looks like Volkswagen\N\h\h\h\hfucked a golf cart.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:24.14,0:10:25.47,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(293,432)}Goddamn.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:26.74,0:10:28.84,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}I did not hear you come in.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:29.85,0:10:33.49,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}You may want to put some cards\N\hin the spokes of your wheels
Dialogue: 0,0:10:33.48,0:10:35.28,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}so you make some fucking noise.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:36.29,0:10:38.80,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}That's why there's not gonna\N\hbe any NASCAR hybrid race.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:38.79,0:10:41.46,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}A NASCAR hybrid race would\Nbe like, "Here they come."
Dialogue: 0,0:10:41.46,0:10:43.52,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}(blowing softly)
Dialogue: 0,0:10:44.39,0:10:45.46,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}And I love the guys who say,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:45.46,0:10:47.46,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}\h"I watch NASCAR\Nfor the racing."
Dialogue: 0,0:10:47.46,0:10:50.10,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}\h\h\hYeah, I watch porn\Nfor the acting. You liar!
Dialogue: 0,0:10:51.07,0:10:54.07,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}You watch NASCAR to see team\N\h\hViagra spin out in flames
Dialogue: 0,0:10:54.07,0:10:56.07,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}and the guy get out with\Nhis pubes on fire going,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:56.07,0:10:56.57,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(280,432)}"I'm okay!"
Dialogue: 0,0:10:57.57,0:10:59.07,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}\h\hAnd there was a guy\Nin the South who said,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:59.07,0:11:01.08,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}\h\h\hthey should have\NNASCAR in the Olympics.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:01.08,0:11:02.08,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}And it was like, mm-hmm.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:02.44,0:11:05.11,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}At that moment ever Darwin\Nwas going, "Come with me."
Dialogue: 0,0:11:07.48,0:11:09.12,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}This is the ascent of man.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:09.12,0:11:10.62,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(254,432)}You stand here.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:12.29,0:11:13.29,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}But it's weird too.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:13.29,0:11:14.29,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}If you recycle, God bless you.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:14.29,0:11:16.29,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}You recycle, good for\Nyou, congratulations.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:16.79,0:11:18.29,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}But if you recycle,\Nthere is one group
Dialogue: 0,0:11:18.29,0:11:19.29,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}who is really pissed off.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:19.30,0:11:20.81,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}That group are the raccoons.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:20.80,0:11:24.23,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}They are going through\N\hyour recycling like,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:24.23,0:11:26.57,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}"What the fuck is this shit?"
Dialogue: 0,0:11:27.07,0:11:28.07,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}Where are the Hefty bags?
Dialogue: 0,0:11:28.57,0:11:30.07,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}The piñata of life\N\hthat used to feed
Dialogue: 0,0:11:30.07,0:11:32.07,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}an entire fucking family?
Dialogue: 0,0:11:32.07,0:11:33.57,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}This is glass and plastic.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:33.58,0:11:37.02,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}\h\h\hI can't digest this\Nshit, you green asshole!
Dialogue: 0,0:11:37.01,0:11:40.51,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}I'm spreading this shit\N\h\hall over your lawn!
Dialogue: 0,0:11:40.52,0:11:42.53,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}And taking a dump\Nin your pool too.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:43.95,0:11:46.39,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}\hI don't know why I made the\Nraccoons Irish, but it works.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:46.39,0:11:46.85,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(319,432)}Now.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:47.92,0:11:52.43,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}(audience cheering\N\h\hand applauding)
Dialogue: 0,0:11:53.93,0:11:55.43,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}\h\h\hAnd they're ballsy\Nlittle motherfuckers too.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:55.43,0:11:56.90,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}You turn on the light,\Nthey look at you like,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:56.90,0:11:58.83,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}"What the fuck you gonna do?
Dialogue: 0,0:11:59.34,0:12:00.85,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}"I got a skunk as backup.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:00.84,0:12:02.84,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}"Don't make me call him."
Dialogue: 0,0:12:02.84,0:12:04.61,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}And they've got those\N\h\hlittle jazz paws.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:04.61,0:12:05.91,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(280,432)}Jazz paws!
Dialogue: 0,0:12:06.91,0:12:07.91,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}They can open doors, cabinets.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:07.91,0:12:09.41,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}I'm amazed you don't come home
Dialogue: 0,0:12:09.41,0:12:10.81,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}and find them on the computer\N\hgoing, "I'm ordering shit.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:10.81,0:12:12.38,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(254,432)}"How you doing?
Dialogue: 0,0:12:12.95,0:12:13.85,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}"The dog knows I'm here.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:13.85,0:12:15.42,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}\h"I locked him in\Nthe fucking closet.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:15.42,0:12:16.92,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}"He's an idiot, too late."
Dialogue: 0,0:12:17.92,0:12:20.42,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}And the deer in California\N\h\h\h\hhave total amnesty
Dialogue: 0,0:12:20.42,0:12:21.92,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}\h\h\h'cause they know no\None's gonna cap their ass
Dialogue: 0,0:12:21.92,0:12:22.92,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}\hand strap them to the\Nfront of a Range Rover
Dialogue: 0,0:12:22.93,0:12:24.44,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}and go downtown for a mocha.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:24.43,0:12:27.90,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}\hThey walk through your yard\Nlike supermodels with hooves.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:27.90,0:12:29.90,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(280,432)}Like, "Hi.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:34.04,0:12:35.55,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}"Are these your roses?
Dialogue: 0,0:12:38.51,0:12:40.11,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}"Oh, my God, a deer fence."
Dialogue: 0,0:12:40.11,0:12:41.18,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(280,432)}(whooshing)
Dialogue: 0,0:12:43.81,0:12:47.31,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}(audience applauding)
Dialogue: 0,0:12:49.82,0:12:50.82,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}And I love the five point buck
Dialogue: 0,0:12:50.82,0:12:52.69,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}that jump out in front\N\h\h\hof your car like,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:52.69,0:12:54.05,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}"I hope you're insured."
Dialogue: 0,0:12:55.06,0:12:57.06,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}\h\h'Cause I'm taking you out.\NThis is revenge for my brother
Dialogue: 0,0:12:57.06,0:12:58.56,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}\hwho's hanging in\Na bar in Tennessee.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:58.56,0:13:00.06,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(293,432)}Fuck you.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:01.23,0:13:04.80,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}And we have coyotes, which\N\h\hare like dogs on crack.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:04.80,0:13:06.73,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}\h\h\hThey come into your yard\Nlooking like, "Hey, I'm a dog.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:06.74,0:13:08.31,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}"Ooh, I'm a fucking dog.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:08.30,0:13:10.81,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}"Hey, psst, listen.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:10.81,0:13:14.31,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}\h"Do you have any small\Nanimals you don't need?"
Dialogue: 0,0:13:14.88,0:13:16.38,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}\hAnd I'm sure your cat is\Nsitting in the back going,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:16.88,0:13:18.88,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}"I will shit in the box!
Dialogue: 0,0:13:19.88,0:13:22.38,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}"Don't send me out there.\N\hThose things eat pussy!
Dialogue: 0,0:13:22.38,0:13:23.85,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}"Don't send me out there!"
Dialogue: 0,0:13:24.32,0:13:25.25,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(293,432)}(hisses)
Dialogue: 0,0:13:26.56,0:13:32.14,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}And if you have a cat and a\Ndog and they live together,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:32.13,0:13:34.96,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}do you think your cat\Nmind-fucks your dog?
Dialogue: 0,0:13:34.96,0:13:36.46,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}I don't think it's fair.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:36.47,0:13:38.94,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}I think the moment you go\Nto sleep the cat's like,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:38.93,0:13:40.97,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}"Scooby!" (hisses)
Dialogue: 0,0:13:41.47,0:13:43.10,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(267,432)}"Yeah, yeah?"
Dialogue: 0,0:13:43.11,0:13:45.62,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}\h\h\h\h\h\h\h"Hey, Scooby,\Nare you man's best friend?"
Dialogue: 0,0:13:45.61,0:13:47.81,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}\h\h\h\h\h"Oh God, yeah.\NI love him, I love him!"
Dialogue: 0,0:13:47.81,0:13:48.88,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(293,432)}"Really?
Dialogue: 0,0:13:48.88,0:13:50.38,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}"Then where are your balls?"
Dialogue: 0,0:13:52.85,0:13:55.78,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}"Shit, they were\Nthere yesterday.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:55.78,0:13:58.89,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}"I wondered why my ass\N\htasted differently."
Dialogue: 0,0:13:58.89,0:13:59.82,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}"I'm just saying that's weird.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:59.82,0:14:03.26,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h"You know,\NI'm just saying. (hacking)
Dialogue: 0,0:14:04.83,0:14:08.46,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}\h\h\h\h"I'm just saying that's\Nweird, that's all I'm saying."
Dialogue: 0,0:14:08.46,0:14:11.97,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}And people in California\N\hgive their cats Prozac.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:12.33,0:14:14.74,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}\h\hHow much more mellow\Ncan a fucking animal be?
Dialogue: 0,0:14:16.24,0:14:18.71,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}\hBut that's California, where\Nanimals have better healthcare
Dialogue: 0,0:14:18.71,0:14:19.74,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}than the rest of the country.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:19.74,0:14:21.74,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}It's fucking insane.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:21.74,0:14:23.24,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}\h\hAnd if the whole\Nhealthcare debate...
Dialogue: 0,0:14:23.25,0:14:25.26,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}If you want to know how your\N\h\hcongressman and senators
Dialogue: 0,0:14:25.25,0:14:26.75,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}\h\h\hare gonna vote,\Nwe should actually--
Dialogue: 0,0:14:26.75,0:14:28.75,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}maybe they should be\Nlike NASCAR drivers.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:28.75,0:14:30.25,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}They should actually\Nhave to have jackets
Dialogue: 0,0:14:30.25,0:14:32.25,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}\h\h\hwith the names of all the\Npeople who are sponsoring them.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:32.25,0:14:33.72,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}Wouldn't that be cool?
Dialogue: 0,0:14:34.26,0:14:35.76,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(280,432)}Fuckin'-a!
Dialogue: 0,0:14:36.26,0:14:37.76,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(280,432)}Yeah, baby.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:42.77,0:14:44.74,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}Then you might have a clue
Dialogue: 0,0:14:44.73,0:14:46.77,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}to why the fuck they\N\h\h\hvoted that way.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:46.77,0:14:47.77,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}Big drug company.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:47.77,0:14:49.47,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}Got it, thank you.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:49.47,0:14:50.94,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hAnd I have an\Nalternative healthcare plan.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:51.44,0:14:53.44,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}\h\h\h\hIt's called cash for\Nclunkers for older relatives.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:53.94,0:14:54.94,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}It's kind of fun.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:55.94,0:14:58.45,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}You sell grandma for parts.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:59.42,0:15:00.99,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}"Grandma, you've got\N\h\h\h\htwo kidneys.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:00.98,0:15:03.98,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}"We need a porch.\N\hLet's do this."
Dialogue: 0,0:15:03.99,0:15:05.70,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}\hAnd do not sell\Ngrandma's kidneys
Dialogue: 0,0:15:06.22,0:15:08.22,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}\h\h\hto that Hasidic\Nrabbi in New Jersey.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:08.22,0:15:11.73,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}Fuck, who buys organs from\N\h\ha Hasidic rabbi going,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:11.73,0:15:13.49,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(137,432)}"I'm crazy Itzhak, come on down.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:14.00,0:15:15.51,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}"I'm verklempt with values.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:15.50,0:15:16.00,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(254,432)}"Come on down!
Dialogue: 0,0:15:16.00,0:15:18.00,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}"I've got kidneys,\N\hI've got livers.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:18.00,0:15:19.37,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}"How's the liver?\N\h\h\h\h\hFresh!
Dialogue: 0,0:15:19.37,0:15:20.94,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(254,432)}"Come on down!
Dialogue: 0,0:15:20.94,0:15:22.97,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}"And if you order now, you'll\N\h\h\hget this lovely wallet
Dialogue: 0,0:15:22.97,0:15:24.47,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}"made from a Hasidic foreskin.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:24.47,0:15:25.97,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}\h\h\h\h\h"You rub it,\Nit becomes a suitcase.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:25.97,0:15:26.97,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(254,432)}"Come on down!
Dialogue: 0,0:15:28.88,0:15:31.45,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}\h\h\h\h\h"Come on down!\NI'm open 24, six for you!
Dialogue: 0,0:15:31.78,0:15:32.01,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(293,432)}{\i1}"Come on!"
Dialogue: 0,0:15:33.58,0:15:36.32,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}And if you have an older\Nrelative living with you
Dialogue: 0,0:15:36.32,0:15:39.29,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}\hthat has dementia and the\Ntelemarketers are calling,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:39.29,0:15:41.32,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}\hput her on the phone\Nwith the telemarketers.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:41.32,0:15:42.82,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}(audience laughing)
Dialogue: 0,0:15:42.83,0:15:43.83,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(293,432)}It works.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:44.83,0:15:46.83,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}\h\h\h\hAfter two hours,\Nshe thinks she's talking
Dialogue: 0,0:15:46.83,0:15:48.33,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}to your long-lost cousin Carl
Dialogue: 0,0:15:48.33,0:15:52.33,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}and the fucking telemarketers\N\hwill never call back again.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:52.33,0:15:54.34,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}And it's weird too, 'cause\N\hI had open heart surgery
Dialogue: 0,0:15:54.34,0:15:57.34,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(137,432)}\h\h\hwhich lets you know exactly\Nwhat the fuck it is, open heart.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:57.34,0:16:00.17,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}An angiogram does not let you\N\hknow what they're gonna do.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:00.18,0:16:01.69,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}An angiogram is where they go
Dialogue: 0,0:16:01.68,0:16:03.21,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}through your groin\N\h\hto your heart.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:03.21,0:16:04.71,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}\h\h\hAnd who knew that\Nthe way to man's heart
Dialogue: 0,0:16:04.71,0:16:05.71,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}was through his groin?
Dialogue: 0,0:16:05.71,0:16:07.72,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}\h\h\h\h\hAnd the women,\Nand many women are going,
Dialogue: 0,0:16:07.72,0:16:09.15,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}"We've known that forever."
Dialogue: 0,0:16:10.02,0:16:11.55,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(332,432)}{\i1}Yes.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:11.55,0:16:13.05,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(306,432)}Simple.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:13.06,0:16:16.07,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}You grab a man's balls,\Nhis heart will follow.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:18.06,0:16:19.06,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}\hAnd I found out\NI had a bad heart
Dialogue: 0,0:16:19.06,0:16:20.56,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}because they did\Nan echocardiogram
Dialogue: 0,0:16:20.56,0:16:23.56,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}\hand my heartbeat was like\N(mimics irregular beating).
Dialogue: 0,0:16:25.07,0:16:28.07,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}My cardiologist went,\N\h"That's not good."
Dialogue: 0,0:16:28.07,0:16:30.07,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}My Latin friend said, no,\Nyou could dance to that.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:30.07,0:16:31.07,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}That's kinda cool.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:32.04,0:16:33.04,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}And then they did the angiogram
Dialogue: 0,0:16:33.04,0:16:35.41,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}\h\h\h\hand I heard my\N(blowing raspberries).
Dialogue: 0,0:16:35.41,0:16:38.41,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}I had a blown valve which makes\N\h\hme sound like a Chevrolet.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:38.41,0:16:40.41,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}Like what the fuck?
Dialogue: 0,0:16:40.42,0:16:41.93,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}\hAnd they started\Noffering me choices
Dialogue: 0,0:16:41.92,0:16:43.42,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}\h\h\h\habout what type\Nof valves I could get.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:43.42,0:16:44.42,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}And here were some\N\h\hof my choices.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:44.42,0:16:45.92,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}Number one, a porcine valve
Dialogue: 0,0:16:45.92,0:16:47.92,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}Which is a pig valve,\Nwhich is kind of cool
Dialogue: 0,0:16:47.92,0:16:49.42,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}\hbecause you're already\Ninoculated for swine flu,
Dialogue: 0,0:16:49.42,0:16:50.42,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(280,432)}number one.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:51.93,0:16:53.93,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}And one of the side effects\N\his you can find truffles,
Dialogue: 0,0:16:53.93,0:16:54.93,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}which is kind of cool.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:56.43,0:16:58.93,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}I was hoping to get an equine\N\h\h\hvalve or a horse valve.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:59.43,0:17:00.73,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}That would be great 'cause\N\h\h\hthen you can hang out
Dialogue: 0,0:17:00.74,0:17:03.11,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}of your shorts like, oh my God.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:04.11,0:17:05.12,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}Baby, I'm sorry.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:05.11,0:17:07.11,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}I just got excited.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:07.61,0:17:08.54,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}To get out of the house,
Dialogue: 0,0:17:08.88,0:17:09.94,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}you have to have a midget\Njump on your back going,
Dialogue: 0,0:17:09.95,0:17:12.09,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}\h\h\h"We're going\Noutside right now.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:13.08,0:17:14.58,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}\h"How many months\Nsince the surgery?"
Dialogue: 0,0:17:14.58,0:17:16.08,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(319,432)}Five.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:17.59,0:17:19.60,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}And they offered me\Na mechanical valve
Dialogue: 0,0:17:19.59,0:17:20.89,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}which is kind of cool.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:20.89,0:17:22.66,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}I thought, maybe I can get\N\h\h\hthe new Apple iHeart.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:22.66,0:17:24.16,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}That would be great.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:25.16,0:17:27.16,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}\h\h\hIt comes with 20,000\Nemotions and that would be,
Dialogue: 0,0:17:27.16,0:17:28.66,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}and I thought, wait a minute.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:28.66,0:17:31.17,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}If I could get an iHeart,\N\hladies, how about this?
Dialogue: 0,0:17:31.17,0:17:33.67,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}Instead of breast implants,\N\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hspeakers.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:33.67,0:17:35.17,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}Wouldn't that be cool?
Dialogue: 0,0:17:35.67,0:17:36.67,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}We'll call 'em blue tits,
Dialogue: 0,0:17:36.67,0:17:39.17,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}they'll be compatible\N\h\h\hwith the heart.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:39.17,0:17:41.18,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}And if you can't\Nafford speakers,
Dialogue: 0,0:17:41.18,0:17:43.18,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}just put in a squeak toy.\N\h\h\hWe're that simple.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:43.18,0:17:44.18,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}That'd be great.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:44.68,0:17:46.18,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}\h\h\h\hA lot of you men\Nwould be going (squeaks).
Dialogue: 0,0:17:46.18,0:17:48.18,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(254,432)}Oh yeah, baby.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:48.18,0:17:49.55,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(280,432)}(squeaking)
Dialogue: 0,0:17:49.55,0:17:51.19,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(280,432)}(laughing)
Dialogue: 0,0:17:52.72,0:17:56.69,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}\hAnd I'll put a whistle in my\Ndick so when you blow me, whoo!
Dialogue: 0,0:17:56.69,0:17:57.93,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}(audience laughing)
Dialogue: 0,0:17:57.93,0:17:59.93,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}Kind of fun but,
Dialogue: 0,0:18:01.43,0:18:04.26,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}I ended up getting a bovine\Nvalve which is a cow valve.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:04.27,0:18:06.28,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}Which is kind of cool, 'cause\N\h\hyou can shit standing up.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:06.27,0:18:07.60,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(267,432)}That's great.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:07.60,0:18:08.67,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}Pfft, great to be here.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:08.67,0:18:09.67,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}Nice to be here.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:10.67,0:18:13.17,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}But after the surgery,\Nyou get very emotional.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:13.18,0:18:15.19,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}It's like, it's like weird.\N\h\hPeople go, how are you?
Dialogue: 0,0:18:15.18,0:18:17.78,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}"God, thanks for asking."
Dialogue: 0,0:18:17.78,0:18:20.21,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}\hAnd I got so emotional, I\Nthought instead of a valve,
Dialogue: 0,0:18:20.22,0:18:21.73,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}they gave me a tiny vagina.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:21.72,0:18:23.22,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}Which is like what?
Dialogue: 0,0:18:23.69,0:18:24.73,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(267,432)}How are you?
Dialogue: 0,0:18:24.72,0:18:26.72,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}"Much better now, thank you.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:26.72,0:18:28.22,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(319,432)}"Mmm.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:28.72,0:18:29.72,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(293,432)}"Oh, God.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:30.23,0:18:31.74,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}"Don't use the paddles,\N\h\h\hjust rub me here.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:31.73,0:18:33.23,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(254,432)}"There we go."
Dialogue: 0,0:18:34.23,0:18:35.73,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}And if this is the\N\h\hsymbol for men,
Dialogue: 0,0:18:35.73,0:18:37.73,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}is this the symbol for women?
Dialogue: 0,0:18:37.73,0:18:38.73,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}Don't jerk me off.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:38.73,0:18:41.24,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}I won't, God bless, thank you.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:42.24,0:18:44.74,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}\h\h\h\hAnd the surgery,\Nthe surgery went amazing.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:44.74,0:18:47.74,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}I had a doctor who had\N\hdone 4,000 surgeries.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:47.74,0:18:48.74,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}All of them fucking amazing.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:48.74,0:18:49.74,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(254,432)}That was great.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:49.75,0:18:51.76,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}\hYou don't want a doctor\Nwho's done six surgeries,
Dialogue: 0,0:18:51.75,0:18:54.25,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}three of them haven't\N\h\h\hgone that well.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:54.25,0:18:57.99,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}You don't want a guy going,\N\h"Let's see what happens."
Dialogue: 0,0:18:57.99,0:18:58.99,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}\h\hAnd the surgery\Nwas pretty amazing.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:59.39,0:19:00.22,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}It went fantastic.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:00.22,0:19:02.76,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}\h\hFirst thing to come back\Nonline, your heart (beeping).
Dialogue: 0,0:19:02.76,0:19:04.26,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}Great and then your brain.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:04.26,0:19:05.79,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}Last thing, asshole.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:05.79,0:19:07.16,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(293,432)}(grunts)
Dialogue: 0,0:19:07.16,0:19:08.16,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}\h\hThe drugs make\Nyou so constipated,
Dialogue: 0,0:19:08.16,0:19:09.66,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}I thought they were gonna\Nhave to bring in a priest
Dialogue: 0,0:19:09.67,0:19:11.68,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}to do a rectal exorcism.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:11.67,0:19:12.67,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}(audience laughing)
Dialogue: 0,0:19:12.67,0:19:15.60,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}"Demon turd, fall from his ass!
Dialogue: 0,0:19:15.60,0:19:17.57,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}"The power of fiber\N\h\h\hcompels you!
Dialogue: 0,0:19:17.57,0:19:21.04,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}"The power of fiber\N\h\h\hcompels you!"
Dialogue: 0,0:19:23.01,0:19:24.01,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}And after the surgery,
Dialogue: 0,0:19:24.01,0:19:25.78,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}\h\hthey put you on a\Nlittle self-medicator
Dialogue: 0,0:19:25.78,0:19:26.78,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}which is fucking great.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:26.78,0:19:28.78,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}You're like (laughs).
Dialogue: 0,0:19:28.78,0:19:30.35,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}\h\h\hI want to thank\Nmy anesthesiologist,
Dialogue: 0,0:19:30.35,0:19:32.35,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}'cause I don't fucking\N\h\hremember his name.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:32.35,0:19:34.35,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}And the drug they gave\N\h\hme for the surgery
Dialogue: 0,0:19:34.36,0:19:36.37,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}was a drug called propofol
Dialogue: 0,0:19:36.36,0:19:38.36,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}which is nicknamed\N"milk of amnesia."
Dialogue: 0,0:19:38.36,0:19:40.36,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}Fucking insane drug.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:40.36,0:19:42.36,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}\h\hI had that in a\Nsurgical situation.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:42.36,0:19:45.37,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}Michael Jackson was taking\Npropofol at home to sleep.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:45.87,0:19:46.87,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(293,432)}Fuck off.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:47.87,0:19:49.87,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}\h\h\h\h\hA doctor said,\Ntaking propofol to sleep
Dialogue: 0,0:19:49.87,0:19:51.37,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}is like doing chemotherapy
Dialogue: 0,0:19:51.37,0:19:53.27,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}\h\hbecause you're tired of\Nshaving your fucking head.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:53.28,0:19:54.72,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}(audience laughing)
Dialogue: 0,0:19:55.21,0:19:56.11,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(267,432)}{\i1}It's like, no.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:57.01,0:19:59.51,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}And do you think\Nthat when you die
Dialogue: 0,0:19:59.51,0:20:01.01,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}and you get to the other\N\hside in the afterlife,
Dialogue: 0,0:20:01.02,0:20:02.53,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}they give you things\N\h\hyou had in life?
Dialogue: 0,0:20:02.52,0:20:04.55,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}Like Michael got to the other\Nside and it's like, Michael?
Dialogue: 0,0:20:04.55,0:20:05.62,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(306,432)}"Yes?"
Dialogue: 0,0:20:06.62,0:20:09.12,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}\hWe have some of\Nyour things here.
Dialogue: 0,0:20:09.12,0:20:10.12,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(293,432)}"Really?"
Dialogue: 0,0:20:11.13,0:20:12.14,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}One African-American nose.
Dialogue: 0,0:20:12.13,0:20:13.63,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(254,432)}Is this yours?
Dialogue: 0,0:20:13.63,0:20:15.63,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}(audience laughing)
Dialogue: 0,0:20:15.63,0:20:16.13,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(306,432)}"Yes."
Dialogue: 0,0:20:16.63,0:20:17.13,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}We have four others here.
Dialogue: 0,0:20:17.13,0:20:18.13,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}Are these yours?
Dialogue: 0,0:20:18.13,0:20:20.53,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}"Three of them are mine,\N\h\h\h\hone's Latoya's."
Dialogue: 0,0:20:21.94,0:20:22.94,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}But you can't blame Michael.
Dialogue: 0,0:20:22.94,0:20:24.44,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}\h\hWe're a heavily\Nmedicated society.
Dialogue: 0,0:20:24.44,0:20:27.94,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}\hAll the drugs we take,\NProzac, Effexor, Valium.
Dialogue: 0,0:20:27.94,0:20:29.44,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(137,432)}I thought for the last 10 years,
Dialogue: 0,0:20:29.44,0:20:31.45,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(137,432)}\h\h\h\hwe've been on some weird\Nfucking drug, the whole country,
Dialogue: 0,0:20:31.45,0:20:32.95,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}a drug called "fuck it all."
Dialogue: 0,0:20:32.95,0:20:34.45,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}What a weird fucking drug.
Dialogue: 0,0:20:34.45,0:20:36.58,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}\hAnd we're just coming out of\Nit and we're kind of waking up.
Dialogue: 0,0:20:36.59,0:20:38.53,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}It's like fuckin'-a.
Dialogue: 0,0:20:40.46,0:20:40.90,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(280,432)}It's weird.
Dialogue: 0,0:20:41.96,0:20:42.96,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}It's like you're going,
Dialogue: 0,0:20:42.96,0:20:46.46,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}"The last thing I remember\Nwas the economy was working
Dialogue: 0,0:20:46.46,0:20:48.96,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}\h\h"and there was a\Nbudget surplus, yeah.
Dialogue: 0,0:20:48.96,0:20:49.96,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}"Where's Clinton?"
Dialogue: 0,0:20:49.97,0:20:50.97,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}We impeached him.
Dialogue: 0,0:20:50.97,0:20:51.48,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(306,432)}"Fuck!
Dialogue: 0,0:20:52.47,0:20:53.73,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(280,432)}"For what?"
Dialogue: 0,0:20:53.74,0:20:54.48,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(280,432)}A blowjob.
Dialogue: 0,0:20:54.47,0:20:55.87,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(319,432)}"Wha!
Dialogue: 0,0:20:55.87,0:20:57.37,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}"Who did he blow, Putin?"
Dialogue: 0,0:20:57.37,0:20:58.37,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(332,432)}No.
Dialogue: 0,0:20:58.87,0:20:59.87,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(332,432)}No!
Dialogue: 0,0:21:00.88,0:21:03.89,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}(audience applauding)
Dialogue: 0,0:21:03.88,0:21:05.38,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}He got blown by a Jewish girl.
Dialogue: 0,0:21:05.38,0:21:06.35,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(319,432)}"Wow!
Dialogue: 0,0:21:06.35,0:21:08.28,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(137,432)}"He got head from a Jewish girl?
Dialogue: 0,0:21:08.28,0:21:09.28,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(280,432)}"Fuckin'-a!
Dialogue: 0,0:21:11.29,0:21:13.19,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}"And they impeached\N\h\hhim for that?"
Dialogue: 0,0:21:13.19,0:21:14.02,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}Well, he lied about it.
Dialogue: 0,0:21:14.02,0:21:15.49,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(254,432)}"He's married.\N\hWho wouldn't?
Dialogue: 0,0:21:15.49,0:21:16.99,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}"What the fuck?"
Dialogue: 0,0:21:16.99,0:21:18.49,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}No, he lied about\N\hit to Congress.
Dialogue: 0,0:21:18.49,0:21:20.49,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}"And those fuckers\N\h\himpeached him?
Dialogue: 0,0:21:21.00,0:21:23.01,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}"That's like a group of lepers\N\h\h\hjudging a beauty contest.
Dialogue: 0,0:21:23.50,0:21:24.50,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(254,432)}"What the fuck?
Dialogue: 0,0:21:26.00,0:21:27.77,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}"Wow, that's nuts."
Dialogue: 0,0:21:27.77,0:21:29.27,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}(audience cheering)
Dialogue: 0,0:21:29.27,0:21:30.27,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(332,432)}No!
Dialogue: 0,0:21:34.34,0:21:35.41,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}And then they acquitted him.
Dialogue: 0,0:21:35.41,0:21:37.84,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}"Oh, cool, and who was\Npresident next, Gore?"
Dialogue: 0,0:21:37.85,0:21:38.22,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(293,432)}No, Bush.
Dialogue: 0,0:21:38.21,0:21:39.15,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}"He was already president."
Dialogue: 0,0:21:39.15,0:21:40.21,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}No, this was his son.
Dialogue: 0,0:21:40.22,0:21:41.73,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}"Oh, the one from Florida.
Dialogue: 0,0:21:41.72,0:21:42.22,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}"He's kinda cool."
Dialogue: 0,0:21:42.22,0:21:43.85,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}No, the one from Texas.
Dialogue: 0,0:21:43.85,0:21:45.42,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(293,432)}"Junior?\N\h\hFuck.
Dialogue: 0,0:21:46.39,0:21:49.32,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}"My God, the one who\N\htraded Sammy Sosa?"
Dialogue: 0,0:21:49.32,0:21:50.82,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(280,432)}Fuck yeah.
Dialogue: 0,0:21:51.83,0:21:53.29,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}"How was he as president?"
Dialogue: 0,0:21:53.30,0:21:54.24,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(267,432)}Kinda goofy.
Dialogue: 0,0:21:55.16,0:21:56.60,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}Really, he waved at\N\h\hStevie Wonder.
Dialogue: 0,0:21:56.60,0:21:57.60,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}"What the fuck?"
Dialogue: 0,0:21:59.10,0:22:00.60,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(254,432)}It's like wow.
Dialogue: 0,0:22:01.60,0:22:03.10,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}(audience applauding\N\h\h\h\hand cheering)
Dialogue: 0,0:22:03.10,0:22:06.11,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}"And then what did he do?"
Dialogue: 0,0:22:06.11,0:22:07.44,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}\h\h\hWell, he took\Na lot of vacations.
Dialogue: 0,0:22:07.44,0:22:08.08,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}"And then what happened?"
Dialogue: 0,0:22:08.08,0:22:09.14,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}We got attacked.
Dialogue: 0,0:22:09.14,0:22:10.14,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(293,432)}"By who?"
Dialogue: 0,0:22:10.15,0:22:10.65,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}Osama bin Laden.
Dialogue: 0,0:22:11.15,0:22:12.16,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}"The guy from Afghanistan?
Dialogue: 0,0:22:12.15,0:22:13.15,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}"Didn't we used to\Nsend him weapons?"
Dialogue: 0,0:22:13.15,0:22:14.31,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(267,432)}Yeah, I know.
Dialogue: 0,0:22:14.32,0:22:14.73,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}"We went after him, right?"
Dialogue: 0,0:22:14.72,0:22:15.78,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(319,432)}Yeah.
Dialogue: 0,0:22:15.78,0:22:16.75,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}"Did we get him?"
Dialogue: 0,0:22:16.75,0:22:17.82,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(306,432)}Almost.
Dialogue: 0,0:22:17.82,0:22:18.82,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}(audience laughing)
Dialogue: 0,0:22:18.82,0:22:19.82,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}"What do you mean almost?"
Dialogue: 0,0:22:19.82,0:22:21.32,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}We went after Hussein
Dialogue: 0,0:22:21.32,0:22:22.82,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}because he had weapons\N\hof mass destruction.
Dialogue: 0,0:22:22.82,0:22:23.82,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}"That guy from Syria.
Dialogue: 0,0:22:24.33,0:22:25.34,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(137,432)}I knew that fuck would do this."
Dialogue: 0,0:22:25.33,0:22:26.33,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}No, the one from Iraq.
Dialogue: 0,0:22:26.33,0:22:27.33,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}"Saddam Hussein?
Dialogue: 0,0:22:27.33,0:22:29.16,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}"Bush Senior kicked his ass."
Dialogue: 0,0:22:29.16,0:22:30.03,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(267,432)}Yeah, he did.
Dialogue: 0,0:22:30.03,0:22:31.10,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}"And we got him?"
Dialogue: 0,0:22:31.10,0:22:32.27,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}Oh fuck, we got him.
Dialogue: 0,0:22:32.27,0:22:33.57,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}"And we found the weapons\N\h\hof mass destruction?
Dialogue: 0,0:22:33.57,0:22:35.00,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}'Cause he would tell\Nyou where they are."
Dialogue: 0,0:22:35.00,0:22:35.87,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}Well, they executed him.
Dialogue: 0,0:22:35.87,0:22:37.84,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(280,432)}"Fuck off!
Dialogue: 0,0:22:37.84,0:22:39.27,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}"And did you get bin Laden?"
Dialogue: 0,0:22:39.27,0:22:40.24,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(306,432)}Almost.
Dialogue: 0,0:22:40.24,0:22:42.18,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}\h\hWe got four of\Nhis number threes.
Dialogue: 0,0:22:42.18,0:22:43.14,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(306,432)}"Okay!
Dialogue: 0,0:22:44.15,0:22:45.96,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}"But he's in Afghanistan."
Dialogue: 0,0:22:45.95,0:22:46.75,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(306,432)}Maybe.
Dialogue: 0,0:22:47.55,0:22:48.62,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}He might be in Pakistan.
Dialogue: 0,0:22:48.62,0:22:50.12,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}"Well, let's go after\N\h\hhim in Pakistan."
Dialogue: 0,0:22:50.12,0:22:51.62,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}Well, there's a problem there.
Dialogue: 0,0:22:51.62,0:22:53.85,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}They're allies and they have\Nweapons of mass destruction.
Dialogue: 0,0:22:53.86,0:22:54.43,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(293,432)}"Oh, no!
Dialogue: 0,0:22:55.49,0:22:56.49,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}"What about the economy?"
Dialogue: 0,0:22:56.49,0:22:58.02,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}\h\hWell, we had to\Nbail out the banks.
Dialogue: 0,0:22:58.03,0:22:59.04,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(293,432)}"Again?"
Dialogue: 0,0:22:59.03,0:22:59.86,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(280,432)}Fuck yeah!
Dialogue: 0,0:22:59.86,0:23:01.56,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}"And now who's the president?"
Dialogue: 0,0:23:01.56,0:23:02.56,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(267,432)}A black guy.
Dialogue: 0,0:23:02.56,0:23:04.06,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}"Oh yeah, right."
Dialogue: 0,0:23:04.07,0:23:04.57,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}(audience laughing)
Dialogue: 0,0:23:04.57,0:23:05.58,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(267,432)}"Yeah, yeah.
Dialogue: 0,0:23:05.57,0:23:07.07,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}"There's a black president
Dialogue: 0,0:23:07.07,0:23:08.84,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}\h"and there's a Latino\Non the Supreme Court."
Dialogue: 0,0:23:08.84,0:23:09.54,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(293,432)}There is.
Dialogue: 0,0:23:09.54,0:23:10.60,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(267,432)}"Oh, my God!
Dialogue: 0,0:23:10.61,0:23:12.62,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}"Who's the president,\N\h\h\hJesse Jackson?"
Dialogue: 0,0:23:12.61,0:23:14.57,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}\h\h\hNo, his name's\NBarack Hussein Obama.
Dialogue: 0,0:23:14.58,0:23:16.09,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}"Now you're fucking with me."
Dialogue: 0,0:23:16.08,0:23:17.08,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}(audience laughing\N\h\hand applauding)
Dialogue: 0,0:23:17.58,0:23:18.41,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(280,432)}"Fuck off!"
Dialogue: 0,0:23:19.75,0:23:25.25,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}(audience applauding\N\h\h\h\hand cheering)
Dialogue: 0,0:23:25.25,0:23:27.62,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}\hAnd that's where we\Nfind ourselves today.
Dialogue: 0,0:23:27.62,0:23:30.99,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}\hWe have an African-American,\Nbut he was not born in Africa.
Dialogue: 0,0:23:30.99,0:23:32.99,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}Even though the birthers are\Ngoing, he was born in Africa.
Dialogue: 0,0:23:32.99,0:23:34.49,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}Yes, and his campaign\N\h\h\h\hwas financed
Dialogue: 0,0:23:34.50,0:23:36.37,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}by a Nigerian prince\N\h\hon the internet.
Dialogue: 0,0:23:36.36,0:23:37.73,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}"Come with me, my friend."
Dialogue: 0,0:23:39.23,0:23:40.23,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}It's like their worst nightmare
Dialogue: 0,0:23:40.24,0:23:41.75,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}\h\hwould have been at\Nthe inauguration going,
Dialogue: 0,0:23:41.74,0:23:45.27,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(137,432)}\h\h\h\h\h"Mr. Obama, you are now\NPresident of the United States."
Dialogue: 0,0:23:45.27,0:23:48.58,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}(mimicking tribal chanting)
Dialogue: 0,0:23:53.05,0:23:57.02,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}\h\h\hHillary, work the booty,\Nwork the booty, work the booty.
Dialogue: 0,0:23:57.02,0:23:57.98,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(254,432)}What the fuck?
Dialogue: 0,0:24:00.99,0:24:01.99,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}\h\h\hAnd you have to\Nbreak his name down.
Dialogue: 0,0:24:01.99,0:24:02.99,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}It's Barack, blessing,
Dialogue: 0,0:24:03.49,0:24:04.49,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}Hussein, we know who that is,
Dialogue: 0,0:24:04.49,0:24:07.99,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}Obama, it's an old Kenyan\N\hword for Kennedy, cool!
Dialogue: 0,0:24:08.00,0:24:09.01,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}(audience laughing)
Dialogue: 0,0:24:09.00,0:24:10.00,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}The moment he was elected,
Dialogue: 0,0:24:10.50,0:24:12.50,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}\h\h\hCaucasian guilt dropped\Nlower than the stock market.
Dialogue: 0,0:24:12.50,0:24:14.00,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}It was like a brother be going,
Dialogue: 0,0:24:14.34,0:24:15.18,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h"My man,\Ncould you spare a dollar?"
Dialogue: 0,0:24:15.67,0:24:17.17,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}"I'm sorry, my good fellow,\N\h\hbut I voted for Obama.
Dialogue: 0,0:24:17.17,0:24:19.01,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}"Good fucking luck.\N\h\h\h\hTake care."
Dialogue: 0,0:24:21.51,0:24:23.21,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}And now you have Michelle.
Dialogue: 0,0:24:23.21,0:24:25.21,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}Michelle, oh my God,\N\h\h\h\hgirl, please!
Dialogue: 0,0:24:25.21,0:24:26.21,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(319,432)}Mmm!
Dialogue: 0,0:24:26.72,0:24:28.73,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(254,432)}Yeah, baby, oh!
Dialogue: 0,0:24:28.72,0:24:31.72,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}\h\hLike a combination Jackie\NOnassis and Serena Williams.
Dialogue: 0,0:24:31.72,0:24:32.72,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(280,432)}Way to go.
Dialogue: 0,0:24:33.72,0:24:35.69,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}She is so elegant and\N\hshe's got guns too,
Dialogue: 0,0:24:35.69,0:24:37.22,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}which is kinda cool.
Dialogue: 0,0:24:37.23,0:24:39.24,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}But you get the feeling,\N\h\has elegant as she is,
Dialogue: 0,0:24:39.23,0:24:43.23,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}if you dis her man, she\Nwill fuck your shit up.
Dialogue: 0,0:24:43.23,0:24:44.73,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}(audience laughing)
Dialogue: 0,0:24:44.73,0:24:45.73,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(332,432)}Mm!
Dialogue: 0,0:24:45.73,0:24:46.73,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(293,432)}She will.
Dialogue: 0,0:24:47.74,0:24:50.75,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}\hShe will open a\Ncan of whoop ass.
Dialogue: 0,0:24:50.74,0:24:53.11,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}She will go from yes, we\Ncan to oh, no you didn't.
Dialogue: 0,0:24:53.11,0:24:54.07,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(306,432)}Mm-mm!
Dialogue: 0,0:24:55.54,0:24:58.78,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}And Obama got heckled\N\h\h\h\hin Congress.
Dialogue: 0,0:24:58.78,0:25:00.25,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}What the fuck is that?
Dialogue: 0,0:25:00.25,0:25:02.08,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}That would not have happened\N\h\h\h\hif Cheney were there.
Dialogue: 0,0:25:02.08,0:25:03.48,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}If Cheney were there, oh no.
Dialogue: 0,0:25:03.49,0:25:06.43,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}\hIf someone had heckled W,\NCheney would be like, bam!
Dialogue: 0,0:25:06.42,0:25:08.72,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}(audience applauding\N\h\h\h\hand laughing)
Dialogue: 0,0:25:08.72,0:25:09.52,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(319,432)}Yeah!
Dialogue: 0,0:25:13.19,0:25:14.23,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}(mimics cocking guns)
Dialogue: 0,0:25:14.23,0:25:16.26,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}Anybody else got a problem?
Dialogue: 0,0:25:17.77,0:25:21.78,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}\hCheney shot a man in\Nthe face hunting quail.
Dialogue: 0,0:25:23.27,0:25:24.24,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}I don't know about\N\hEast Coast quail
Dialogue: 0,0:25:24.24,0:25:27.24,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}but California quail\Nare this fucking big.
Dialogue: 0,0:25:27.24,0:25:30.91,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}\hYou gotta drop kick them then\Nget them in the air going bam!
Dialogue: 0,0:25:30.91,0:25:31.91,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(267,432)}Shit happens!
Dialogue: 0,0:25:33.11,0:25:34.11,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}\hAnd I love Cheney\Nat the inauguration
Dialogue: 0,0:25:34.12,0:25:35.63,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}looking like Old Man Potter.
Dialogue: 0,0:25:35.62,0:25:38.45,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(137,432)}\h\h\h\hLike, "Good luck with the\Neconomy, little African prince."
Dialogue: 0,0:25:38.45,0:25:40.89,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(280,432)}(laughing)
Dialogue: 0,0:25:41.89,0:25:45.13,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}"Take care, Simba." (laughing)
Dialogue: 0,0:25:47.13,0:25:49.13,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}And he was transforming\N\h\h\h\h\has we speak.
Dialogue: 0,0:25:49.13,0:25:50.13,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}The last few years,
Dialogue: 0,0:25:50.13,0:25:52.13,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}he's been turning slowly\N\hbut surely into Gollum.
Dialogue: 0,0:25:52.13,0:25:56.20,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(137,432)}Like "They don't likes us. Don't\N\h\hgive a shit! Not caring why.
Dialogue: 0,0:25:56.20,0:25:57.54,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}"Halliburton is the precious.
Dialogue: 0,0:25:57.54,0:25:59.51,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}"It's the precious."
Dialogue: 0,0:26:00.54,0:26:02.08,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}\hAnd he's become\Nan archetype now.
Dialogue: 0,0:26:02.08,0:26:03.08,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}It's the type of thing
Dialogue: 0,0:26:03.08,0:26:04.08,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}\h\h\hthat if you want to\Nfrighten a little child,
Dialogue: 0,0:26:04.08,0:26:05.25,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}you just have to say,
Dialogue: 0,0:26:05.25,0:26:10.45,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}"If you're not good, the\NCheney man will get you."
Dialogue: 0,0:26:10.45,0:26:12.15,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(280,432)}(laughing)
Dialogue: 0,0:26:12.15,0:26:13.79,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(332,432)}No!
Dialogue: 0,0:26:14.29,0:26:15.79,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}And what's W doing now?
Dialogue: 0,0:26:15.79,0:26:17.46,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}He's a motivational speaker.
Dialogue: 0,0:26:17.46,0:26:17.89,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(280,432)}Kinda cool.
Dialogue: 0,0:26:18.96,0:26:20.39,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}It's kinda like having\N\h\h\h\h\hLindsay Lohan
Dialogue: 0,0:26:20.40,0:26:21.44,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}as a guidance counselor.
Dialogue: 0,0:26:21.43,0:26:24.30,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}(audience laughing\N\h\hand applauding)
Dialogue: 0,0:26:24.30,0:26:25.67,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(280,432)}Way to go.
Dialogue: 0,0:26:28.10,0:26:30.77,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}And I love the fact that\N\h\hthey're talking about
Dialogue: 0,0:26:30.77,0:26:34.47,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}\hopening the George W. Bush\NLibrary, which I think, wow!
Dialogue: 0,0:26:34.48,0:26:38.96,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}That's kind of like The Colonel\N\h\h\hSanders Culinary Academy.
Dialogue: 0,0:26:38.95,0:26:41.98,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}Just the concept alone\N\h\hboggles your mind.
Dialogue: 0,0:26:41.98,0:26:44.48,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(137,432)}And they've already talked about\N\h\h\hmaking it very interactive,
Dialogue: 0,0:26:44.49,0:26:47.00,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}\hwhich I think is code\Nfor not so many books.
Dialogue: 0,0:26:46.99,0:26:48.99,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}(audience laughing)
Dialogue: 0,0:26:48.99,0:26:50.99,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}\h\hAnd I hope they have\Nsome of his great quotes
Dialogue: 0,0:26:50.99,0:26:52.49,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}on the walls like,
Dialogue: 0,0:26:52.49,0:26:54.49,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}"A lot of our imports come\N\h\hfrom other countries."
Dialogue: 0,0:26:54.50,0:26:55.51,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(319,432)}Yes!
Dialogue: 0,0:26:58.50,0:27:00.00,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}"The question that's\N\h\h\h\hnever asked,
Dialogue: 0,0:27:00.00,0:27:01.00,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}is our children learning?"
Dialogue: 0,0:27:01.00,0:27:02.50,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}Didn't know that.
Dialogue: 0,0:27:03.51,0:27:04.51,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}"People misunderestimate me."
Dialogue: 0,0:27:04.51,0:27:06.02,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}That's not even a fucking word.
Dialogue: 0,0:27:06.01,0:27:07.01,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(280,432)}Way to go!
Dialogue: 0,0:27:08.01,0:27:10.01,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}\h\h\hAnd you've got to\Ncut W some slack, man.
Dialogue: 0,0:27:10.01,0:27:12.51,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}\hHe comes from a family where\Nthe smart brother is named Jeb,
Dialogue: 0,0:27:12.51,0:27:14.01,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(280,432)}number one.
Dialogue: 0,0:27:15.02,0:27:16.52,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}And he had a wicked\N\h\h\hcoke problem.
Dialogue: 0,0:27:16.52,0:27:18.02,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}And why did he have\Nto stop doing blow?
Dialogue: 0,0:27:18.02,0:27:19.49,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}Because I believe one\N\h\hday he was like,
Dialogue: 0,0:27:19.92,0:27:23.42,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}\h\h\h\h"Shit, my mom's on\Nthe dollar bill! Goddamn!"
Dialogue: 0,0:27:23.42,0:27:24.92,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}Gotta cut this shit out.
Dialogue: 0,0:27:26.43,0:27:27.93,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}And near the end of his term,
Dialogue: 0,0:27:27.93,0:27:30.00,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}\heven world leaders\Nwere dissing his ass.
Dialogue: 0,0:27:30.00,0:27:31.50,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}\h\h\hThere'd be the world\Neconomic leaders conference
Dialogue: 0,0:27:31.50,0:27:33.00,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}and they'd all be\N\hup there going,
Dialogue: 0,0:27:33.00,0:27:34.50,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}"Oh, shit, here comes skippy.
Dialogue: 0,0:27:34.50,0:27:35.00,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(280,432)}"Fuck off."
Dialogue: 0,0:27:36.47,0:27:38.44,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}\hAnd he'd be up there like\Na kid at a graduation like,
Dialogue: 0,0:27:38.44,0:27:39.41,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}"Nobody likes me,\Nthis is bullshit.
Dialogue: 0,0:27:39.41,0:27:41.91,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}"This is crazy-ass shit."
Dialogue: 0,0:27:41.91,0:27:43.41,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}But there was one guy\N\h\h\h\hwho treated W
Dialogue: 0,0:27:43.41,0:27:45.41,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}with kindness and respect.
Dialogue: 0,0:27:45.41,0:27:47.41,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}And that man was Tony Blair.
Dialogue: 0,0:27:47.42,0:27:49.43,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}\h\hTony Blair and W was\Nlike the United Nations'
Dialogue: 0,0:27:49.92,0:27:50.42,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}production of Rain Man.
Dialogue: 0,0:27:50.42,0:27:51.92,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}It was wonderful.
Dialogue: 0,0:27:51.92,0:27:53.42,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}(audience laughing)
Dialogue: 0,0:27:53.42,0:27:55.06,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}There was sweetness.
Dialogue: 0,0:27:56.56,0:27:59.03,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}Tony would be going to W.
Dialogue: 0,0:27:59.03,0:28:00.46,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(137,432)}W, do you know the price of gas?
Dialogue: 0,0:28:00.46,0:28:01.43,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}"Definitely don't know\N\h\h\hthe price of gas.
Dialogue: 0,0:28:01.43,0:28:03.73,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}"Don't know the price of gas."
Dialogue: 0,0:28:06.00,0:28:07.53,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}Do you have an economic\N\h\h\hstimulus package?
Dialogue: 0,0:28:07.54,0:28:08.75,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}\h\h\h\h"Definitely have an\Neconomic stimulus package.
Dialogue: 0,0:28:08.74,0:28:10.74,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}\h\h\h\h\h"Might work.\NDefinitely might work.
Dialogue: 0,0:28:11.14,0:28:13.54,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}\h"Give each and every American\Nover the age of 20 $1 million.
Dialogue: 0,0:28:13.54,0:28:15.58,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}\h\h\h"Tax them at a\Nflat tax rate of 10%.
Dialogue: 0,0:28:15.58,0:28:16.54,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}\h\h\h"Gives back the\Ngovernment $100,000,
Dialogue: 0,0:28:16.54,0:28:18.58,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}\h\h\h\h"gives each and\Nevery person $900,000.
Dialogue: 0,0:28:18.58,0:28:20.08,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}"Might stimulate locally\N\h\h\h\h\hand personally.
Dialogue: 0,0:28:20.08,0:28:22.25,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}"Definitely might work.\NDefinitely might work."
Dialogue: 0,0:28:23.62,0:28:27.02,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}\h\h\hBut W, W, do you\Nknow the price of gas?
Dialogue: 0,0:28:27.02,0:28:29.86,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}"Definitely don't know\N\h\hthe price of gas."
Dialogue: 0,0:28:29.86,0:28:32.39,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}And the definition of insanity\N\his repeating the same action,
Dialogue: 0,0:28:32.39,0:28:33.39,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}expecting a different outcome.
Dialogue: 0,0:28:33.90,0:28:35.91,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}And we elected him the second\N\htime, the whole world went,
Dialogue: 0,0:28:35.90,0:28:39.43,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}"What the fuck is going\N\hon with you people?"
Dialogue: 0,0:28:39.43,0:28:41.43,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}But now we still have\N\h\h\hcomedy though.
Dialogue: 0,0:28:41.44,0:28:43.45,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}We still have great\N\hcomedy out there.
Dialogue: 0,0:28:43.44,0:28:45.44,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}There's always rambling\N\h\h\h\h\h\hJoe Biden.
Dialogue: 0,0:28:45.44,0:28:46.94,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(254,432)}What the fuck?
Dialogue: 0,0:28:46.94,0:28:51.41,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}\h\h\hJoe says things that even\Npeople with Tourette's go, no.
Dialogue: 0,0:28:51.41,0:28:52.38,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(332,432)}No.
Dialogue: 0,0:28:53.58,0:28:55.15,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}What is going on?
Dialogue: 0,0:28:56.15,0:28:57.65,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}Joe is like your uncle\N\h\hwho's on a new drug
Dialogue: 0,0:28:57.65,0:28:59.95,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(137,432)}and hasn't got the dosage right.
Dialogue: 0,0:29:00.99,0:29:02.42,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}"I'm proud to work with\N\h\h\hBarack America."
Dialogue: 0,0:29:02.42,0:29:04.42,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(137,432)}He's not a superhero, you idiot.
Dialogue: 0,0:29:04.43,0:29:05.44,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(280,432)}Come here.
Dialogue: 0,0:29:05.43,0:29:06.93,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}"When FDR was was\Non television--"
Dialogue: 0,0:29:06.93,0:29:10.93,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}\h\hThere was no TV back then.\NCome here, Joe, pfft! Sit down.
Dialogue: 0,0:29:10.93,0:29:12.43,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}And then you always\N\h\h\hhave senators
Dialogue: 0,0:29:12.43,0:29:13.93,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}willing to push the\N\hcomedy envelope.
Dialogue: 0,0:29:13.94,0:29:17.45,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}\h\hLike Senator Larry Craig, a\Nguy who tried to pick up a man
Dialogue: 0,0:29:17.44,0:29:19.74,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}in a men's room by Morse code.
Dialogue: 0,0:29:20.81,0:29:22.31,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}How the fuck do you do that?
Dialogue: 0,0:29:22.81,0:29:25.31,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(137,432)}How do you go, will you blow me?
Dialogue: 0,0:29:25.31,0:29:27.31,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}(audience laughing)
Dialogue: 0,0:29:27.32,0:29:29.33,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(306,432)}Maybe.
Dialogue: 0,0:29:29.32,0:29:31.32,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}(audience laughing)
Dialogue: 0,0:29:31.32,0:29:32.82,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(319,432)}And.
Dialogue: 0,0:29:33.82,0:29:35.32,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(137,432)}There's always Governor Sanford.
Dialogue: 0,0:29:35.32,0:29:35.82,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}He's a piece of work.
Dialogue: 0,0:29:35.82,0:29:37.32,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(280,432)}That's one.
Dialogue: 0,0:29:37.33,0:29:39.34,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}"I'm going for a hike on\N\hthe Appalachian Trail."
Dialogue: 0,0:29:39.33,0:29:39.83,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}Where does it end?
Dialogue: 0,0:29:39.83,0:29:40.83,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(267,432)}"Patagonia."
Dialogue: 0,0:29:40.83,0:29:41.83,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(267,432)}Oh, fuck off.
Dialogue: 0,0:29:42.83,0:29:44.83,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}\h\hAnd as always,\Nif you want comedy,
Dialogue: 0,0:29:44.83,0:29:46.33,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}there is always Sarah Palin.
Dialogue: 0,0:29:46.33,0:29:47.33,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(280,432)}God bless.
Dialogue: 0,0:29:47.84,0:29:48.85,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}She is wonderful.
Dialogue: 0,0:29:48.84,0:29:51.84,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}Sarah is a self-opening piñata.
Dialogue: 0,0:29:51.84,0:29:53.34,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(254,432)}She is a gift.
Dialogue: 0,0:29:54.84,0:29:55.84,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}How did they find her?
Dialogue: 0,0:29:55.84,0:29:56.81,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}Was it project running mate?
Dialogue: 0,0:29:56.81,0:29:58.34,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}Is that how they got her?
Dialogue: 0,0:29:59.85,0:30:01.85,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}Did Ronald Reagan have\Na kid with Vanna White
Dialogue: 0,0:30:01.85,0:30:03.35,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}and drop it off in Alaska?
Dialogue: 0,0:30:03.85,0:30:04.85,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}(audience laughing)
Dialogue: 0,0:30:05.35,0:30:07.85,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}\h\hAnd it was raised by wolves\Nand that's why she hunts them?
Dialogue: 0,0:30:07.86,0:30:10.37,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}"You're not my dad.\NYou're not my dad."
Dialogue: 0,0:30:10.86,0:30:13.36,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}\h\h\h\hAnd she says\Namazing things like,
Dialogue: 0,0:30:13.36,0:30:17.36,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}"I know about Russia because I\N\hcan see it from my backyard."
Dialogue: 0,0:30:17.37,0:30:20.38,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}You have super vision,\N\h\h\h\h\h\hnumber one.
Dialogue: 0,0:30:20.37,0:30:21.87,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}I can see San Quentin\N\h\hfrom my backyard
Dialogue: 0,0:30:21.87,0:30:23.87,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}but that doesn't qualify\N\h\hme on prison reform.
Dialogue: 0,0:30:23.87,0:30:25.87,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(254,432)}What the fuck?
Dialogue: 0,0:30:25.87,0:30:26.87,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}And it's incredible too.
Dialogue: 0,0:30:26.87,0:30:28.88,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}She said, polar bears\N\hare not endangered.
Dialogue: 0,0:30:28.88,0:30:29.88,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}They're just unlucky.
Dialogue: 0,0:30:29.88,0:30:30.38,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(280,432)}Oh, really?
Dialogue: 0,0:30:31.88,0:30:34.88,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}\hAnd who knew Katie Couric was\Nthe cutting edge of journalism
Dialogue: 0,0:30:34.88,0:30:38.92,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}\hwith ambush questions\Nlike, what do you read?
Dialogue: 0,0:30:38.92,0:30:42.36,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}(audience laughing)
Dialogue: 0,0:30:42.36,0:30:43.86,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(319,432)}Well.
Dialogue: 0,0:30:43.86,0:30:46.36,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}(audience applauding\N\h\h\h\hand cheering)
Dialogue: 0,0:30:46.36,0:30:47.36,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(319,432)}Yeah.
Dialogue: 0,0:30:48.36,0:30:50.36,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}"That's a trick question."
Dialogue: 0,0:30:50.37,0:30:52.38,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}Not if you read, no.
Dialogue: 0,0:30:53.87,0:30:56.37,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}You know the basic difference\N\h\h\hbetween her and Cheney?
Dialogue: 0,0:30:56.37,0:30:58.87,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}She shoots you, game over.
Dialogue: 0,0:30:58.87,0:31:00.37,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}She will have you gutted\Nand standing on the wall
Dialogue: 0,0:31:00.38,0:31:02.89,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}next to Barbara Walters like.
Dialogue: 0,0:31:02.88,0:31:05.88,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}\h\hIn the last few days of the\Nelection, she got really sexy.
Dialogue: 0,0:31:05.88,0:31:06.88,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}She let the hair down.
Dialogue: 0,0:31:06.88,0:31:07.88,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}I thought the last day\N\h\h\hof the election,
Dialogue: 0,0:31:07.88,0:31:11.15,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}\h\hshe was gonna pop the\NPrada and be like, yeah!
Dialogue: 0,0:31:11.15,0:31:15.02,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}\h\h\h\hHow do you like my\Nnorthern slopes now, boys?
Dialogue: 0,0:31:15.02,0:31:18.39,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}♪ Drill, baby, drill,\N\h\h\h\hbaby, drill ♪
Dialogue: 0,0:31:18.39,0:31:20.66,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}And do you think the whole time\N\h\hshe was running for office,
Dialogue: 0,0:31:20.66,0:31:22.16,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}Clinton was sitting\N\h\hat home going,
Dialogue: 0,0:31:22.16,0:31:25.33,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}\h\h\h\h"Where was she\Nwhen I was in office?"
Dialogue: 0,0:31:25.33,0:31:26.33,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(319,432)}Shit.
Dialogue: 0,0:31:26.80,0:31:28.37,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(293,432)}Goddamn.
Dialogue: 0,0:31:28.37,0:31:31.37,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}(audience applauding)
Dialogue: 0,0:31:32.54,0:31:34.01,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(280,432)}She is hot.
Dialogue: 0,0:31:34.01,0:31:35.54,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}Whoa. That's a MILF.
Dialogue: 0,0:31:36.04,0:31:38.54,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}That's a mother I'd like\N\h\hto filibuster, yeah.
Dialogue: 0,0:31:40.05,0:31:41.55,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}\hAnd Bill did some\Ngood work recently.
Dialogue: 0,0:31:41.55,0:31:43.55,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}He went to North Korea,\Ngot the two girls home.
Dialogue: 0,0:31:43.55,0:31:46.55,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}Way to go, Bill, way to go.\N\hGot them back, way to go.
Dialogue: 0,0:31:46.55,0:31:47.55,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(293,432)}Good job.
Dialogue: 0,0:31:48.56,0:31:49.57,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}But I wanted to be in the room
Dialogue: 0,0:31:50.06,0:31:51.56,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}when Kim Jong-il came\Nin the room and went,
Dialogue: 0,0:31:52.06,0:31:54.09,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}"So, Bill Clinton.
Dialogue: 0,0:31:55.60,0:31:58.63,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}\h\h\h\h\h"You bring me the\Npictures I asked you for?"
Dialogue: 0,0:31:58.63,0:32:01.23,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}(audience laughing)
Dialogue: 0,0:32:02.74,0:32:05.24,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}"I have on my big boy glasses.
Dialogue: 0,0:32:06.24,0:32:09.74,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}"I want those pictures\N\h\h\hand Clay Aiken."
Dialogue: 0,0:32:11.25,0:32:12.62,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}Why do you want Clay Aiken?
Dialogue: 0,0:32:12.61,0:32:15.11,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}\h\h\h"You know why\NI want Clay Aiken.
Dialogue: 0,0:32:15.62,0:32:17.98,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}"That's how I roro.
Dialogue: 0,0:32:17.99,0:32:19.56,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}"That's how I rororo.
Dialogue: 0,0:32:20.56,0:32:22.07,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}"That's what I like."
Dialogue: 0,0:32:22.06,0:32:22.99,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}(audience laughing)
Dialogue: 0,0:32:22.99,0:32:25.06,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}\hAnd you think when Bill\Ngot back from North Korea
Dialogue: 0,0:32:25.06,0:32:26.29,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}and Hillary got back\N\h\h\h\hfrom Africa,
Dialogue: 0,0:32:26.29,0:32:27.29,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}that was kinda a rough dinner?
Dialogue: 0,0:32:27.30,0:32:30.34,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(137,432)}\h\h\h\h\h\hHillary went, "Bill,\Ncongratulations on North Korea."
Dialogue: 0,0:32:30.33,0:32:31.33,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}\h\h\h\h\h"We'll baby,\Nit was a happy ending.
Dialogue: 0,0:32:31.83,0:32:33.33,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}"Shit, wrong words."
Dialogue: 0,0:32:34.84,0:32:35.85,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}"Come again, Bill?"
Dialogue: 0,0:32:35.84,0:32:38.81,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}"Not this time, baby.\N\h\h\hNot this time."
Dialogue: 0,0:32:38.81,0:32:39.84,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}And people got mad at Hillary
Dialogue: 0,0:32:40.34,0:32:41.84,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}\h\h\h\hthat she didn't go\Ntrailer park on Bill's ass
Dialogue: 0,0:32:41.84,0:32:43.34,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}\h\h\h\h\h\hduring the\NMonica Lewinsky thing.
Dialogue: 0,0:32:43.34,0:32:44.84,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}That she didn't start\N\h\hthrowing his shit
Dialogue: 0,0:32:44.85,0:32:45.82,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}on the White House lawn like,
Dialogue: 0,0:32:45.81,0:32:48.88,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}\h\h\h\h"Bill Clinton,\Nyou lying sack of shit!
Dialogue: 0,0:32:48.88,0:32:50.38,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}\h"How could you find\Nthe only Jewish girl
Dialogue: 0,0:32:50.89,0:32:51.86,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}"who couldn't get a stain out?
Dialogue: 0,0:32:51.85,0:32:53.35,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(267,432)}"You asshole!
Dialogue: 0,0:32:54.36,0:32:55.37,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(280,432)}"Damn you!"
Dialogue: 0,0:32:56.36,0:32:58.83,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}And he'd be on the lawn like\N\h\han episode of Cops going,
Dialogue: 0,0:32:58.83,0:33:00.79,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}"I love you, baby!
Dialogue: 0,0:33:00.80,0:33:04.81,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}\h"Depends on what your\Ndefinition of 'is' is."
Dialogue: 0,0:33:04.80,0:33:06.13,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}\hAnd when Hillary\Nran for president,
Dialogue: 0,0:33:06.13,0:33:07.70,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}there were a lot of guys going,
Dialogue: 0,0:33:07.70,0:33:08.70,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}"I don't know about\Na woman president."
Dialogue: 0,0:33:08.70,0:33:10.20,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}What are you worried about?
Dialogue: 0,0:33:10.20,0:33:11.70,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}You worried every 28\Ndays she'll be going,
Dialogue: 0,0:33:11.71,0:33:14.72,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}"I can't talk to Putin.\N\h\h\h\h\h\hNot today.
Dialogue: 0,0:33:14.71,0:33:18.21,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}\h"I'm just gonna balance my\Nbudget and watch my stories."
Dialogue: 0,0:33:18.71,0:33:19.71,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}She's in her 60s.
Dialogue: 0,0:33:19.71,0:33:22.72,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}\h\h\h\hShe has her own global\Nwarming right now, number one.
Dialogue: 0,0:33:24.22,0:33:26.22,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}She is one tough ass woman.
Dialogue: 0,0:33:26.22,0:33:27.22,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}\h\h\h\h\hAnd you don't\Nnecessarily want sexy.
Dialogue: 0,0:33:27.22,0:33:29.56,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}I know when Sarah ran a\Nlot of guys are going,
Dialogue: 0,0:33:29.56,0:33:30.89,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}"She energizes my base."
Dialogue: 0,0:33:30.89,0:33:31.89,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}Yeah, all right.
Dialogue: 0,0:33:31.89,0:33:34.89,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}\h\h\hBut necessarily,\Nsexy and world leaders,
Dialogue: 0,0:33:34.90,0:33:35.91,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}not necessarily the case.
Dialogue: 0,0:33:35.90,0:33:37.40,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}\h\h\hEspecially with\Nfemale world leaders.
Dialogue: 0,0:33:37.40,0:33:39.90,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(137,432)}Throughout history, Elizabeth I,\N\h\h\h\h\h\hCatherine the Great,
Dialogue: 0,0:33:39.90,0:33:41.47,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}Golda Meir, Indira Gandhi.
Dialogue: 0,0:33:41.47,0:33:42.97,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}\h\h\h\hThese are women\Nyou may not wanna fuck,
Dialogue: 0,0:33:42.97,0:33:45.97,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}but you definitely don't\N\hwant to fuck with them.
Dialogue: 0,0:33:45.97,0:33:47.47,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}They are scary women.
Dialogue: 0,0:33:47.48,0:33:48.48,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(280,432)}Oh, my God.
Dialogue: 0,0:33:48.48,0:33:49.99,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(319,432)}Whoo.
Dialogue: 0,0:33:49.98,0:33:51.61,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}(audience applauding)
Dialogue: 0,0:33:51.61,0:33:52.61,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}And if you don't think
Dialogue: 0,0:33:52.61,0:33:54.98,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}\ha woman can handle\Na military situation,
Dialogue: 0,0:33:54.98,0:33:56.38,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}ask the Argentinians.
Dialogue: 0,0:33:56.38,0:33:57.38,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}\hThey were going,\N"Margaret Thatcher,
Dialogue: 0,0:33:57.39,0:33:59.40,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}\h"that crazy {\i1}coño\N{\r}sank a battleship.
Dialogue: 0,0:33:59.39,0:34:00.89,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(254,432)}"She is nuts."
Dialogue: 0,0:34:00.89,0:34:03.29,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}She was Julia Child\Non steroids going,
Dialogue: 0,0:34:03.29,0:34:06.69,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}"I will sink your\N\hshit right now.
Dialogue: 0,0:34:06.69,0:34:09.43,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}\h"I will open a can of whoop\Nass on you little brown men.
Dialogue: 0,0:34:09.43,0:34:11.43,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}"I will do it right now."
Dialogue: 0,0:34:12.90,0:34:17.30,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(137,432)}\h\h\hAnd you have to look at the\NEnglish Royal Family and realize
Dialogue: 0,0:34:17.31,0:34:18.82,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}\h\hall that money\Nand no dental plan.
Dialogue: 0,0:34:18.81,0:34:19.81,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(293,432)}How sad.
Dialogue: 0,0:34:19.81,0:34:21.87,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}(audience laughing)
Dialogue: 0,0:34:21.88,0:34:24.09,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(254,432)}So sad indeed.
Dialogue: 0,0:34:25.15,0:34:27.16,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(137,432)}But if you want sex in politics,
Dialogue: 0,0:34:27.15,0:34:29.45,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}\hthe French are always\Nthere to top everyone.
Dialogue: 0,0:34:29.45,0:34:31.25,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}\h\h\hThe French have\Na president, Sarkozy,
Dialogue: 0,0:34:31.25,0:34:34.25,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}whose wife fucked Mick Jagger.\N\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hWay to go.
Dialogue: 0,0:34:34.26,0:34:36.27,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}The French look at\Nthe Americans like,
Dialogue: 0,0:34:36.26,0:34:39.26,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}"Top that, little Puritans.\N\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hTake care."
Dialogue: 0,0:34:39.26,0:34:41.26,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}\hAnd I believe there's one\Nman we could run for office
Dialogue: 0,0:34:41.26,0:34:43.26,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}that even the French\Nwould go, "Fuck off."
Dialogue: 0,0:34:43.26,0:34:45.63,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}That man is Jack Nicholson.
Dialogue: 0,0:34:45.63,0:34:47.13,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(319,432)}Yes!
Dialogue: 0,0:34:47.70,0:34:49.34,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(254,432)}Oh yeah, baby.
Dialogue: 0,0:34:50.40,0:34:51.40,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(280,432)}He's nuts.
Dialogue: 0,0:34:51.41,0:34:53.32,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}\hYou'll never have a\Nsex scandal with Jack
Dialogue: 0,0:34:53.31,0:34:55.78,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}because he has fucked everyone.
Dialogue: 0,0:34:57.28,0:35:00.78,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}\h"I had Angelina Jolie and\Nafterwards she adopted me."
Dialogue: 0,0:35:00.78,0:35:02.28,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}(audience laughing)
Dialogue: 0,0:35:02.28,0:35:03.28,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(319,432)}What?
Dialogue: 0,0:35:04.79,0:35:06.30,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}And he's done every known\N\hdrug known to mankind.
Dialogue: 0,0:35:06.29,0:35:07.79,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}He'd be the only\Nguy in the world
Dialogue: 0,0:35:07.79,0:35:11.22,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}\hthat Keith Richards would go,\N"I have to go home now, Jack."
Dialogue: 0,0:35:13.73,0:35:16.40,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}\hNo, I really do.\NIt's fucking over.
Dialogue: 0,0:35:17.40,0:35:20.37,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}"Where you running, you pussy?\N\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hGet back here."
Dialogue: 0,0:35:20.37,0:35:21.43,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}It's so weird too.
Dialogue: 0,0:35:21.94,0:35:24.21,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}\h\hIf you elect celebrities,\Nit's always not a great idea.
Dialogue: 0,0:35:24.21,0:35:27.78,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}Because in California, we\Nare a 60% Hispanic state.
Dialogue: 0,0:35:27.78,0:35:30.29,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(137,432)}We elected an Austrian governor.
Dialogue: 0,0:35:30.28,0:35:33.28,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}Even old Nazis are going,\N\h\h\h\h\h"That's weird."
Dialogue: 0,0:35:33.78,0:35:35.28,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}(audience laughing)
Dialogue: 0,0:35:35.28,0:35:37.28,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}\h\h\hHe has a hard time even\Nsaying the name of the state.
Dialogue: 0,0:35:37.28,0:35:38.78,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}Arnold, where are you governor?
Dialogue: 0,0:35:38.79,0:35:40.33,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}(speaking gibberish)
Dialogue: 0,0:35:41.82,0:35:42.32,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(319,432)}What?
Dialogue: 0,0:35:42.32,0:35:43.32,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}(speaking gibberish)
Dialogue: 0,0:35:44.83,0:35:47.34,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}\hAnd he's married to a\NKennedy, Maria Shriver,
Dialogue: 0,0:35:47.33,0:35:48.29,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}who has been getting thinner
Dialogue: 0,0:35:48.30,0:35:50.87,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(137,432)}and fucking thinner and smaller.
Dialogue: 0,0:35:50.87,0:35:53.88,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}I believe he is sucking\Nthe Kennedy out of her.
Dialogue: 0,0:35:53.87,0:35:55.37,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}(audience laughing)
Dialogue: 0,0:35:55.37,0:35:56.37,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(293,432)}(hushes)
Dialogue: 0,0:35:57.87,0:36:00.24,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}Slowly, slowly but surely
Dialogue: 0,0:36:00.24,0:36:01.74,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}becoming a Kennedy\N\hby assimilation.
Dialogue: 0,0:36:01.74,0:36:02.74,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}Which is kind of cool.
Dialogue: 0,0:36:02.74,0:36:05.24,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}That's how you get a Liberal\N\hRepublican, which is neat.
Dialogue: 0,0:36:05.25,0:36:06.76,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}It's like a Volvo\Nwith a gun rack.
Dialogue: 0,0:36:06.75,0:36:08.25,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}You don't see a lot of them.
Dialogue: 0,0:36:08.25,0:36:09.25,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}(audience laughing)
Dialogue: 0,0:36:09.25,0:36:13.75,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}And in terms of energy\Npolicies, 21st century.
Dialogue: 0,0:36:13.75,0:36:15.25,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}Stem cell research,\N\h\h\h21st century.
Dialogue: 0,0:36:15.76,0:36:18.26,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hImmigration,\NArnold's a little old school.
Dialogue: 0,0:36:18.26,0:36:20.26,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}Arnold, how will you\N\hhandle immigration?
Dialogue: 0,0:36:20.26,0:36:21.36,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}"I will build a wall."
Dialogue: 0,0:36:22.83,0:36:25.87,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}\h\hAnd even the Chinese go,\N"That will not fucking work.
Dialogue: 0,0:36:27.37,0:36:29.97,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}"They will go around\N\h\h\h\h\hyour wall.
Dialogue: 0,0:36:29.97,0:36:31.47,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}"And who will build the wall?
Dialogue: 0,0:36:31.47,0:36:34.97,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}"The people you are trying\N\h\h\hto fucking keep out.
Dialogue: 0,0:36:34.98,0:36:37.49,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}"So maybe you want to invent
Dialogue: 0,0:36:37.48,0:36:38.98,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}"some self-picking fruit\N\h\h\h\h\h\hreal quickly.
Dialogue: 0,0:36:38.98,0:36:41.15,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}"Come with me right now."
Dialogue: 0,0:36:41.15,0:36:42.15,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(319,432)}And.
Dialogue: 0,0:36:43.65,0:36:45.99,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}In California we barely\N\hbalanced the budget.
Dialogue: 0,0:36:45.99,0:36:47.49,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}\h\hThey were coming up\Nwith weird alternatives
Dialogue: 0,0:36:47.49,0:36:49.99,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}\h\hto balance the budget\Nlike selling San Quentin
Dialogue: 0,0:36:49.99,0:36:50.49,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(254,432)}as real estate.
Dialogue: 0,0:36:50.49,0:36:51.99,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(254,432)}What the fuck?
Dialogue: 0,0:36:51.99,0:36:56.10,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}\hIs this like, are you gonna\Nopen some sort of severe spa?
Dialogue: 0,0:36:56.10,0:36:57.66,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}These are the lovely\N\h\h\hsodomy suites.
Dialogue: 0,0:36:57.67,0:36:59.58,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}Come with me over here.
Dialogue: 0,0:36:59.57,0:37:00.47,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}Don't sit in that chair.
Dialogue: 0,0:37:00.47,0:37:02.10,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}Pfft, too late, thank you.
Dialogue: 0,0:37:04.17,0:37:05.24,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}And they're gonna\Nclose Guantanamo.
Dialogue: 0,0:37:05.24,0:37:06.81,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}And I go, what are you\N\h\h\hgonna open there?
Dialogue: 0,0:37:06.81,0:37:07.81,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}"Maybe an amusement park.
Dialogue: 0,0:37:07.81,0:37:08.81,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}"We'll call is Muslim mountain.
Dialogue: 0,0:37:08.81,0:37:10.31,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}"It'll be cool."
Dialogue: 0,0:37:10.81,0:37:11.81,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}What will the water slide be?
Dialogue: 0,0:37:11.81,0:37:12.81,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}"We strap you to a board
Dialogue: 0,0:37:12.81,0:37:14.31,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}"and send you head\Nfirst in to a pool.
Dialogue: 0,0:37:14.32,0:37:15.16,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(267,432)}"Good luck."
Dialogue: 0,0:37:15.95,0:37:17.95,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}And where are they gonna\N\h\h\hsend all those guys
Dialogue: 0,0:37:17.95,0:37:18.95,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}from Guantanamo?
Dialogue: 0,0:37:18.95,0:37:22.05,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}People in Texas are going,\N\h\h\h\h\h"We'll take 'em."
Dialogue: 0,0:37:22.06,0:37:23.97,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}Pfft, no, you can't, pfft!
Dialogue: 0,0:37:23.96,0:37:25.02,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(332,432)}No!
Dialogue: 0,0:37:26.83,0:37:28.33,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}And the whole budget crisis,
Dialogue: 0,0:37:28.33,0:37:29.83,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}the whole manic recession,
Dialogue: 0,0:37:29.83,0:37:31.33,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}we've just come through\N\hthis manic recession.
Dialogue: 0,0:37:31.33,0:37:33.63,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}Remember the banks saying,\N\h\hwe're too big to fail.
Dialogue: 0,0:37:33.63,0:37:35.13,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}It's like saying\Ntoo fat to diet.
Dialogue: 0,0:37:35.14,0:37:37.65,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}\h\hWhat the fuck?\NWhat are you doing?
Dialogue: 0,0:37:37.64,0:37:40.14,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}\h\h\hRemember they came to us\Ngoing, "We need $500 billion."
Dialogue: 0,0:37:40.14,0:37:41.64,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}We went, okay, here you go.
Dialogue: 0,0:37:41.64,0:37:42.64,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(267,432)}A week later.
Dialogue: 0,0:37:42.64,0:37:44.14,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}"We need some more."
Dialogue: 0,0:37:45.65,0:37:47.65,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}\h\h\hYou fuckers are\Neconomic freebasing.
Dialogue: 0,0:37:47.65,0:37:49.15,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}What are you doing?
Dialogue: 0,0:37:49.15,0:37:50.15,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}They're like a group of junkies
Dialogue: 0,0:37:50.15,0:37:53.85,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}\h\hwho've relapsed and are\Ngoing, "Oh my man, listen.
Dialogue: 0,0:37:53.85,0:37:57.19,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}"I just need some liquidity,\N\h\hyou know what I'm saying?
Dialogue: 0,0:37:57.19,0:38:00.66,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}\h"I just ran into some\Nbad subprime, you know?
Dialogue: 0,0:38:00.66,0:38:02.09,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}"We had some complex formulas.
Dialogue: 0,0:38:02.10,0:38:04.61,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}"We just didn't factor\N\h\hin greed and panic.
Dialogue: 0,0:38:04.60,0:38:05.60,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(306,432)}"Yeah.
Dialogue: 0,0:38:06.60,0:38:11.60,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}\h"I just need $805\Nbillion by Tuesday.
Dialogue: 0,0:38:11.61,0:38:14.98,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}"I would not fuck you again."
Dialogue: 0,0:38:14.98,0:38:15.82,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}My God, it was insane.
Dialogue: 0,0:38:15.81,0:38:18.81,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}In the midst of all this,\Nthere was Bernie Madoff.
Dialogue: 0,0:38:18.81,0:38:21.51,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}An embezzler named Madoff.
Dialogue: 0,0:38:23.42,0:38:25.92,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(293,432)}Hmm, yes.
Dialogue: 0,0:38:26.92,0:38:28.92,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}(audience applauding)
Dialogue: 0,0:38:28.92,0:38:31.42,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}Was the name not a clue?
Dialogue: 0,0:38:31.43,0:38:32.70,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}\h\h\h\hDid he have to be\Nwith the accounting firm
Dialogue: 0,0:38:32.69,0:38:35.49,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}of Dewy, Fuck you, and Howe?
Dialogue: 0,0:38:37.46,0:38:38.93,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}And now Bernie's in prison
Dialogue: 0,0:38:39.43,0:38:42.44,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}\hwhere insider trading\Nis a whole other game.
Dialogue: 0,0:38:42.44,0:38:44.94,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}The bull market is what your\Nass will bear, motherfucker.
Dialogue: 0,0:38:44.94,0:38:46.44,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(254,432)}Let's do this.
Dialogue: 0,0:38:46.44,0:38:47.21,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(306,432)}Mm-hmm.
Dialogue: 0,0:38:47.41,0:38:50.48,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}Payback's a bitch, yeah!
Dialogue: 0,0:38:50.48,0:38:51.98,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}And then the automobile\Ncompanies needed help.
Dialogue: 0,0:38:51.98,0:38:52.98,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}And I thought, wait a minute.
Dialogue: 0,0:38:52.98,0:38:54.48,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}\hWouldn't it be cool\Nif the oil companies
Dialogue: 0,0:38:54.48,0:38:56.48,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}\hgave a little money to\Nthe automobile companies?
Dialogue: 0,0:38:56.48,0:38:57.98,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}\h\hI know it's like your\Ndealer paying for rehab,
Dialogue: 0,0:38:58.49,0:38:58.99,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(267,432)}but why not?
Dialogue: 0,0:38:58.99,0:39:00.06,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(254,432)}Give us a shot.
Dialogue: 0,0:39:00.05,0:39:02.62,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}And now we're trying to get\N\hoff the petroleum titty.
Dialogue: 0,0:39:02.62,0:39:03.62,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}\h\hIt's like we're\Ntrying to kick it.
Dialogue: 0,0:39:03.62,0:39:04.62,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}And how are we doing this?
Dialogue: 0,0:39:04.63,0:39:06.14,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}\hWe're looking for\Nalternative fuels.
Dialogue: 0,0:39:06.13,0:39:09.63,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}Some of the alternative fuels\N\hare a hydrogen powered car.
Dialogue: 0,0:39:09.63,0:39:12.13,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(137,432)}Cool idea. If you're thinking of\N\h\h\h\h\ha hydrogen powered car,
Dialogue: 0,0:39:12.13,0:39:13.63,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}\h\h\hI have one word\Nfor you, Hindenburg.
Dialogue: 0,0:39:13.63,0:39:14.63,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(280,432)}Good luck.
Dialogue: 0,0:39:16.14,0:39:18.64,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}A more interesting gas and\N\ha lot more fun is helium.
Dialogue: 0,0:39:18.64,0:39:21.14,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}\h\hNumber one with helium, you\Ncould float over the potholes.
Dialogue: 0,0:39:21.14,0:39:22.64,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(137,432)}And if you get into an accident,
Dialogue: 0,0:39:22.64,0:39:24.64,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}you get out of the car\N\hwith road rage going,
Dialogue: 0,0:39:24.65,0:39:26.12,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}"I'm gonna kick your ass."
Dialogue: 0,0:39:27.62,0:39:28.12,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(306,432)}"What?
Dialogue: 0,0:39:28.12,0:39:29.63,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(280,432)}"Oh my God.
Dialogue: 0,0:39:29.62,0:39:31.12,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}"I've got a fuel leak.
Dialogue: 0,0:39:31.12,0:39:33.12,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}"How weird is that?
Dialogue: 0,0:39:33.12,0:39:34.12,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}"I can't kick your ass.
Dialogue: 0,0:39:34.12,0:39:35.12,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}"I sound like a chipmunk.
Dialogue: 0,0:39:35.12,0:39:36.42,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(254,432)}"This is nuts.
Dialogue: 0,0:39:36.69,0:39:38.76,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}"Look at all the clowns getting\N\h\hout of the trunk of my car.
Dialogue: 0,0:39:38.76,0:39:39.76,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(280,432)}"Fuck off."
Dialogue: 0,0:39:40.69,0:39:42.16,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}And I've found another\N\h\h\halternative fuel.
Dialogue: 0,0:39:42.16,0:39:44.66,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}And I found it by accident.
Dialogue: 0,0:39:44.67,0:39:46.01,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}I was having my morning coffee,
Dialogue: 0,0:39:46.00,0:39:47.50,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}\hand I have my morning\Ncoffee for two reasons.
Dialogue: 0,0:39:47.50,0:39:49.00,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}One, to kick start my brain.
Dialogue: 0,0:39:49.00,0:39:50.50,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}But number two and more\N\h\h\h\h\himportantly,
Dialogue: 0,0:39:50.50,0:39:51.47,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}to jumpstart my colon.
Dialogue: 0,0:39:51.47,0:39:53.01,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}More importantly.
Dialogue: 0,0:39:53.01,0:39:55.01,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}\h\hThe moment I have my\Nmorning coffee it's like,
Dialogue: 0,0:39:55.01,0:39:56.28,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}morning, everybody.
Dialogue: 0,0:39:56.28,0:39:57.54,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}Fire in the hole!
Dialogue: 0,0:39:59.05,0:40:01.06,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}Son, open the bathroom door.
Dialogue: 0,0:40:01.05,0:40:02.55,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}I don't care if you're\N\h\h\hrubbing one out,
Dialogue: 0,0:40:02.55,0:40:04.05,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}I've got to drop a resumé,
Dialogue: 0,0:40:04.55,0:40:06.05,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(254,432)}Open the door.
Dialogue: 0,0:40:06.05,0:40:08.75,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}And even the dog is going,\N\h\h"He's leaking methane!"
Dialogue: 0,0:40:10.82,0:40:14.33,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}There's a dead canary in\Nthe corner like, (gasps).
Dialogue: 0,0:40:14.83,0:40:16.33,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}And I went, wait a minute.
Dialogue: 0,0:40:16.33,0:40:17.83,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}I'm leaking methane.
Dialogue: 0,0:40:17.83,0:40:20.33,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}I'm my own fuel source.
Dialogue: 0,0:40:20.33,0:40:21.83,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}How about this for a new car?
Dialogue: 0,0:40:21.84,0:40:23.35,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}The new Ford colon.
Dialogue: 0,0:40:23.34,0:40:24.84,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(254,432)}How about this?
Dialogue: 0,0:40:25.84,0:40:28.84,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}Here's the ad. Me shirt,\Nno pants, tube in my ass.
Dialogue: 0,0:40:30.34,0:40:32.04,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}Hi, I'm Robin Williams.
Dialogue: 0,0:40:32.05,0:40:34.06,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}\h\hI've just had a\Nblack bean burrito.
Dialogue: 0,0:40:34.05,0:40:35.55,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}(audience laughing)
Dialogue: 0,0:40:35.55,0:40:38.55,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}\hThat's right, I'm gonna drive\Nall the way from San Francisco
Dialogue: 0,0:40:39.05,0:40:40.55,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}to Washington, D.C.
Dialogue: 0,0:40:41.56,0:40:46.07,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}Yup, the shit's hit the fan\N\hand it's powering my car.
Dialogue: 0,0:40:46.06,0:40:47.06,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}(audience laughing)
Dialogue: 0,0:40:47.06,0:40:48.06,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}Won't you join us?
Dialogue: 0,0:40:48.06,0:40:50.06,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}Fuck green, go brown.
Dialogue: 0,0:40:50.06,0:40:51.06,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(293,432)}Come on.
Dialogue: 0,0:40:51.57,0:40:54.11,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}Come with us now.
Dialogue: 0,0:41:01.61,0:41:03.84,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}Another alternative fuel\N\h\h\h\h\h\h\his ethanol.
Dialogue: 0,0:41:03.84,0:41:04.91,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}\h\h\hAnd people from\Nthe South are going,
Dialogue: 0,0:41:04.91,0:41:06.41,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}"That's moonshine,\N\h\hmotherfucker."
Dialogue: 0,0:41:06.41,0:41:07.41,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(280,432)}Damn right.
Dialogue: 0,0:41:07.41,0:41:09.42,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}And ethanol is pure\N\h\hgrain alcohol.
Dialogue: 0,0:41:09.42,0:41:12.42,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}No better car in the world to\Ndrive if you're an alcoholic.
Dialogue: 0,0:41:12.42,0:41:14.42,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}If you get stopped\N\h\hby the police,
Dialogue: 0,0:41:14.42,0:41:15.42,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}\hyou can get out\Nof the car going,
Dialogue: 0,0:41:15.42,0:41:18.42,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}"Officer, I've had a\N\h\h\hfew cocktails.
Dialogue: 0,0:41:18.43,0:41:21.44,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}\h\h\h"My car, however,\Nis totally fucked up."
Dialogue: 0,0:41:21.43,0:41:23.43,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}(audience laughing)
Dialogue: 0,0:41:23.43,0:41:24.43,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}\hEven the cheap gas\Nin the car is going,
Dialogue: 0,0:41:24.43,0:41:27.43,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}"I don't know where\N\h\hthe fuck I am.
Dialogue: 0,0:41:27.43,0:41:30.74,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}"A goddamn tree just\N\hjumped out at me."
Dialogue: 0,0:41:31.74,0:41:35.84,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}And Hyundai makes a car\N\hthat can park itself.
Dialogue: 0,0:41:35.84,0:41:37.81,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}\h\hI'm going, where the fuck\Nwere you when I was drinking?
Dialogue: 0,0:41:37.81,0:41:38.84,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(293,432)}Goddamn!
Dialogue: 0,0:41:39.85,0:41:40.85,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}What a great car.
Dialogue: 0,0:41:40.85,0:41:42.35,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}\h\hYou get in the car\Na little loaded going,
Dialogue: 0,0:41:42.35,0:41:44.05,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}"Shall I drive home?
Dialogue: 0,0:41:44.05,0:41:45.55,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(280,432)}"Fuck yeah.
Dialogue: 0,0:41:46.05,0:41:49.36,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}"And before you do, blow me."
Dialogue: 0,0:41:49.36,0:41:50.29,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}And what a great new car.
Dialogue: 0,0:41:50.29,0:41:51.66,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}The new Ford fellatio.
Dialogue: 0,0:41:52.19,0:41:53.69,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}That would be a car.
Dialogue: 0,0:41:53.69,0:41:56.70,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}It gets you off before\N\h\hit gets you there.
Dialogue: 0,0:41:56.70,0:42:00.07,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}\h\hAnd most cars now have\NGPS which is kind of cool.
Dialogue: 0,0:42:00.07,0:42:01.53,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}I have a GPS in my car.
Dialogue: 0,0:42:01.54,0:42:03.05,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}\hI was driving across\Nthe Golden Gate Bridge.
Dialogue: 0,0:42:03.04,0:42:06.04,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}I was halfway across and all\N\h\hof a sudden the car went,
Dialogue: 0,0:42:06.04,0:42:07.04,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}"Take a right turn."
Dialogue: 0,0:42:07.04,0:42:09.54,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}(audience laughing)
Dialogue: 0,0:42:09.54,0:42:10.04,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(319,432)}What?
Dialogue: 0,0:42:11.05,0:42:13.06,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(254,432)}No can do, Hal.
Dialogue: 0,0:42:14.05,0:42:16.55,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}I'm not that depressed really.
Dialogue: 0,0:42:16.55,0:42:18.05,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}And the car went,\N\h"Really, Robin?
Dialogue: 0,0:42:18.55,0:42:19.55,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}"I saw {\i1}Bicentennial Man.{\r} "
Dialogue: 0,0:42:19.55,0:42:20.55,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}Shut the fuck up!
Dialogue: 0,0:42:22.02,0:42:23.52,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(293,432)}Damn you.
Dialogue: 0,0:42:23.52,0:42:26.53,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}(audience applauding)
Dialogue: 0,0:42:27.96,0:42:29.36,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}\hAnd it's a bitchy\NEnglish voice too.
Dialogue: 0,0:42:29.36,0:42:33.40,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}It goes, "In one quarter\Nmile, take a right turn.
Dialogue: 0,0:42:33.40,0:42:35.90,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}\h\h\h"In 1/8 mile,\Ntake a right turn."
Dialogue: 0,0:42:37.40,0:42:38.90,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(254,432)}"There it was.
Dialogue: 0,0:42:40.41,0:42:42.41,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}"You missed it, Magellan.
Dialogue: 0,0:42:43.91,0:42:44.91,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}"Shall I reroute?
Dialogue: 0,0:42:45.41,0:42:46.91,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}"I, who has access\N\hto 12 satellites?
Dialogue: 0,0:42:46.91,0:42:50.42,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}\h"You, who doesn't look at\Na fucking piece of paper?"
Dialogue: 0,0:42:50.42,0:42:52.42,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}And maybe they should have\N\ha GPS that ages with you.
Dialogue: 0,0:42:52.42,0:42:53.42,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}It becomes age appropriate.
Dialogue: 0,0:42:53.92,0:42:57.42,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}So eventually the car's going,\N\h\h"There's your turn, hello!"
Dialogue: 0,0:42:57.42,0:42:59.43,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}No no, that's not it.\N\hMaybe the next one.
Dialogue: 0,0:42:59.43,0:43:00.93,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}That could be it,\Nthat might be it.
Dialogue: 0,0:43:00.93,0:43:02.43,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}Yeah, that's the one.
Dialogue: 0,0:43:02.43,0:43:05.66,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}There used to be a gas\N\hstation there, yeah.
Dialogue: 0,0:43:05.67,0:43:06.68,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(319,432)}{\i1}Yeah.
Dialogue: 0,0:43:07.67,0:43:08.67,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(306,432)}Right.
Dialogue: 0,0:43:09.64,0:43:11.67,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}That's when gas was\Na nickel a gallon.
Dialogue: 0,0:43:11.67,0:43:13.67,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}That's it, yeah.
Dialogue: 0,0:43:14.14,0:43:16.18,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}I want a Scottish GPS
Dialogue: 0,0:43:16.18,0:43:18.18,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}\h\h'cause I think that\Nwould be an honest GPS.
Dialogue: 0,0:43:18.18,0:43:20.71,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}It would be going,\N"There's your turn.
Dialogue: 0,0:43:21.22,0:43:23.73,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}"You fucking missed it,\N\h\h\h\h\h\hyou idiot.
Dialogue: 0,0:43:24.72,0:43:26.22,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}\h\h\h"Take another\Nfucking right turn.
Dialogue: 0,0:43:26.22,0:43:28.22,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}\h\h"Take one more\Nfucking right turn.
Dialogue: 0,0:43:28.22,0:43:30.06,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}\h\h"Take one more\Nfucking right turn.
Dialogue: 0,0:43:30.06,0:43:32.56,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}"Ooh, deja fucking vu.
Dialogue: 0,0:43:33.89,0:43:34.96,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(306,432)}"Yeah!"
Dialogue: 0,0:43:36.00,0:43:37.06,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(319,432)}And.
Dialogue: 0,0:43:39.07,0:43:43.08,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}\hThey say that Bob Dylan\Nis gonna be making a GPS.
Dialogue: 0,0:43:43.07,0:43:44.87,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}I want that GPS.
Dialogue: 0,0:43:45.87,0:43:46.87,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}♪ Driving down the road ♪
Dialogue: 0,0:43:46.87,0:43:48.87,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}♪ Up ahead there's a light ♪
Dialogue: 0,0:43:48.88,0:43:51.59,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}♪ Very soon, very soon you're\Ngonna have to take a right ♪
Dialogue: 0,0:43:52.08,0:43:53.05,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(137,432)}♪ Driving along, driving along ♪
Dialogue: 0,0:43:53.05,0:43:55.08,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}\h♪ Driving in the\Nland of the free ♪
Dialogue: 0,0:43:55.08,0:43:57.58,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}♪ So remember to pull off,\N\hyou have to take a pee ♪
Dialogue: 0,0:43:57.58,0:43:59.08,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(267,432)}♪ Do it now ♪
Dialogue: 0,0:43:59.59,0:44:00.59,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}♪ Pull up ahead ♪
Dialogue: 0,0:44:00.59,0:44:02.09,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}♪ Don't try to stop\N\h\hOh God, oh God♪
Dialogue: 0,0:44:02.59,0:44:05.09,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}\h\h\h\h\h♪ Look out,\Nthere's a cop again ♪
Dialogue: 0,0:44:05.09,0:44:09.60,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}♪ I'm just trying to direct\Nyou as one wealthy Hebrew ♪
Dialogue: 0,0:44:09.60,0:44:12.83,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}(audience laughing)
Dialogue: 0,0:44:15.90,0:44:16.90,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}And it's cool now.
Dialogue: 0,0:44:16.90,0:44:19.87,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}If you see someone driving\N\halone talking like this.
Dialogue: 0,0:44:21.28,0:44:22.72,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}Hopefully they're hands-free
Dialogue: 0,0:44:22.71,0:44:25.71,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}\h\hand not out of\Ntheir fucking mind.
Dialogue: 0,0:44:25.71,0:44:26.58,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}'Cause in the old days if\N\hyou saw someone driving
Dialogue: 0,0:44:26.85,0:44:28.41,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}and talking like.
Dialogue: 0,0:44:28.42,0:44:32.39,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}\hAnd they're looking alone,\Nyou go change fucking lanes.
Dialogue: 0,0:44:32.39,0:44:36.17,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}And hands-free means hands\Nfree to talk on the phone.
Dialogue: 0,0:44:36.16,0:44:40.46,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}This does not mean find another\N\h\h\hactivity for your hands.
Dialogue: 0,0:44:40.46,0:44:43.53,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}Like text messaging, no, no.
Dialogue: 0,0:44:43.53,0:44:45.00,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}Texting and driving\N\hat the same time
Dialogue: 0,0:44:45.00,0:44:48.53,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}\h\his like jerking off and\Njuggling at the same time.
Dialogue: 0,0:44:48.54,0:44:52.05,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}Too many balls in the air,\N\h\hif you catch my drift.
Dialogue: 0,0:44:52.04,0:44:55.04,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}\h\h\h\hAnd unless you're gonna\Ndevelop an eye like a chameleon
Dialogue: 0,0:44:55.04,0:44:58.04,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}where one looks down\Nand one looks ahead,
Dialogue: 0,0:44:58.05,0:45:01.56,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}your brain will eventually\N\h\h\hgo, "I can't do this!
Dialogue: 0,0:45:01.55,0:45:03.05,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}"I am intextificated.
Dialogue: 0,0:45:03.05,0:45:05.55,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}"This is insane."
Dialogue: 0,0:45:05.55,0:45:07.05,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(137,432)}And when you get out of the car,
Dialogue: 0,0:45:07.05,0:45:09.56,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}take out the Bluetooth,\N\h\h\ho, Seven of Nine.
Dialogue: 0,0:45:09.56,0:45:10.56,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(293,432)}Join us.
Dialogue: 0,0:45:10.56,0:45:12.06,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(254,432)}Come back, yes.
Dialogue: 0,0:45:12.56,0:45:13.56,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(280,432)}Oh please.
Dialogue: 0,0:45:14.06,0:45:15.76,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(254,432)}It's all right.
Dialogue: 0,0:45:15.76,0:45:19.83,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}(audience applauding\N\h\h\h\hand cheering)
Dialogue: 0,0:45:19.83,0:45:21.13,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}\h\h'Cause you'll be\Nwearing the Bluetooth
Dialogue: 0,0:45:21.13,0:45:22.13,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}\h\h\hand deaf people are\Ngoing, "Are you hearing?
Dialogue: 0,0:45:22.14,0:45:23.88,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}\h\h\h"No, you're just an\Nasshole with a Bluetooth.
Dialogue: 0,0:45:23.87,0:45:24.37,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(280,432)}"Fuck you."
Dialogue: 0,0:45:25.87,0:45:27.94,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}\hAnd then there's always that\Nawkward Bluetooth conversation.
Dialogue: 0,0:45:27.94,0:45:30.44,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}You're in an elevator, you\N\h\hcan't see the Bluetooth
Dialogue: 0,0:45:30.44,0:45:31.68,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}and some guy's going,\N\h\h\h"Hi, gorgeous."
Dialogue: 0,0:45:31.68,0:45:33.81,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}\h\h\h\h\h-Thank you.\N-"Not you, fuck you.
Dialogue: 0,0:45:33.81,0:45:34.81,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(254,432)}"No, fuck you.
Dialogue: 0,0:45:34.82,0:45:35.99,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}"No, I want to fuck you.
Dialogue: 0,0:45:35.98,0:45:36.78,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}"I don't want to fuck you.
Dialogue: 0,0:45:36.78,0:45:38.28,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}"Fuck you, goddamn it."
Dialogue: 0,0:45:38.29,0:45:42.23,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}The homeless people are going,\N\h"That's my act, you asshole."
Dialogue: 0,0:45:42.22,0:45:45.06,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(137,432)}I talk to people. I hear voices.\N\hI just don't have call waiting.
Dialogue: 0,0:45:45.06,0:45:46.59,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(254,432)}What the fuck?
Dialogue: 0,0:45:46.59,0:45:48.99,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}And if you wear a\N\hBluetooth 24/7,
Dialogue: 0,0:45:49.00,0:45:50.51,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}\hI'm sure there are\Nno long-term effects.
Dialogue: 0,0:45:50.50,0:45:53.00,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}(speaking gibberish)
Dialogue: 0,0:45:56.10,0:45:59.17,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}And thank you for not filming\Nme with your phones tonight,
Dialogue: 0,0:45:59.17,0:46:00.67,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}because phones now are cameras.
Dialogue: 0,0:46:00.67,0:46:01.67,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}There was a lady filming\N\h\h\hme the other night.
Dialogue: 0,0:46:01.68,0:46:02.75,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}You could see 'em.
Dialogue: 0,0:46:03.24,0:46:05.74,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}\h\h\h\h\hThere's a fucking\Nred light, bitch. I see it.
Dialogue: 0,0:46:05.75,0:46:06.72,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}And I said, "Turn it off."
Dialogue: 0,0:46:06.71,0:46:08.28,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}\h\h\h\h\hAnd she went,\N"How will I remember?"
Dialogue: 0,0:46:08.28,0:46:11.32,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}I went, "The old-fashioned way.
Dialogue: 0,0:46:11.32,0:46:15.32,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}"You'll have to tell people\N\h\h\h\h\h\h\hwhat you saw.
Dialogue: 0,0:46:15.32,0:46:17.76,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(137,432)}"That you saw a hairy comedian."
Dialogue: 0,0:46:17.76,0:46:19.89,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}(audience laughing)
Dialogue: 0,0:46:19.89,0:46:21.56,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}\h\hBecause you see, it's\Nnot Big Brother anymore.
Dialogue: 0,0:46:21.56,0:46:22.56,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}It's little snitch.
Dialogue: 0,0:46:22.56,0:46:23.56,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}It's like, I see you,\N\hI fucking see you.
Dialogue: 0,0:46:23.56,0:46:25.06,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}I see you, I see you,\N\hI fucking see you.
Dialogue: 0,0:46:25.07,0:46:27.58,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}And it's also too weird\Ntoo because your phone,
Dialogue: 0,0:46:27.57,0:46:29.07,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}you can Google on your phone.
Dialogue: 0,0:46:29.07,0:46:30.57,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}\h\h\hI googled the word\N"corkscrew" and it said,
Dialogue: 0,0:46:30.57,0:46:32.07,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}"Did you mean 'cocksucker?'"
Dialogue: 0,0:46:32.07,0:46:32.57,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(332,432)}No.
Dialogue: 0,0:46:34.51,0:46:35.94,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}But while you're there.
Dialogue: 0,0:46:36.94,0:46:38.78,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}\h\h\h\h\h\hAnd texting,\Nthe whole texting thing.
Dialogue: 0,0:46:38.78,0:46:39.78,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}Texting, I walked\Ninto a Starbucks,
Dialogue: 0,0:46:39.78,0:46:40.78,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}\h\hthere were all\Nthese little girls
Dialogue: 0,0:46:40.78,0:46:42.28,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}\h\hsitting around like\Na cyber witch's coven.
Dialogue: 0,0:46:42.28,0:46:43.78,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(254,432)}They were like.
Dialogue: 0,0:46:45.29,0:46:46.80,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}Not saying a fucking word.
Dialogue: 0,0:46:46.79,0:46:48.29,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(254,432)}Just (giggles).
Dialogue: 0,0:46:49.29,0:46:52.29,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}Finally one of them looked\N\h\hup and went, "I know."
Dialogue: 0,0:46:55.56,0:46:56.56,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}And you Twitter.
Dialogue: 0,0:46:56.56,0:46:57.56,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}Twitter or tweeting.
Dialogue: 0,0:46:57.56,0:46:58.56,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}It's not the root word.
Dialogue: 0,0:46:58.57,0:46:59.07,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}It's not twit, it's tweet.
Dialogue: 0,0:46:59.07,0:47:00.38,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(280,432)}Okay, cool.
Dialogue: 0,0:47:00.37,0:47:01.67,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}Is it rude to Twitter\N\h\h\h\h\hduring sex?
Dialogue: 0,0:47:01.67,0:47:02.67,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(267,432)}To go, O.M.G.
Dialogue: 0,0:47:02.67,0:47:04.17,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}O.M.G.W.T.F.Z.Z.Z.?
Dialogue: 0,0:47:04.17,0:47:05.30,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(267,432)}Is that rude?
Dialogue: 0,0:47:06.87,0:47:08.34,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}And is there something\N\h\hcalled "clitoring"
Dialogue: 0,0:47:08.34,0:47:10.84,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}where you play with the little\N\h\hbutton on your BlackBerry?
Dialogue: 0,0:47:13.85,0:47:14.35,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}What are you doing?
Dialogue: 0,0:47:14.35,0:47:16.65,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}I'm clitoring. (laughs)
Dialogue: 0,0:47:18.22,0:47:19.99,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(137,432)}And Twitter broke the other day.
Dialogue: 0,0:47:19.99,0:47:20.99,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}Fuck, Twitter went down.
Dialogue: 0,0:47:20.99,0:47:22.49,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}\hWhat the fuck happened\Nto all those people then?
Dialogue: 0,0:47:22.49,0:47:24.99,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}Where they like, "My thumbs!
Dialogue: 0,0:47:24.99,0:47:28.33,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}\h"My thumbs are moving\Nfor no fucking reason!
Dialogue: 0,0:47:28.33,0:47:29.39,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}"What the fuck is that?"
Dialogue: 0,0:47:29.40,0:47:30.41,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(306,432)}A book.
Dialogue: 0,0:47:30.40,0:47:31.40,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(293,432)}(hisses)
Dialogue: 0,0:47:35.34,0:47:36.88,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(267,432)}Who are you?
Dialogue: 0,0:47:36.87,0:47:37.94,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(319,432)}Dad.
Dialogue: 0,0:47:39.74,0:47:41.01,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(280,432)}I miss you.
Dialogue: 0,0:47:42.54,0:47:44.04,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(280,432)}Let's talk.
Dialogue: 0,0:47:45.55,0:47:46.56,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}When you walk into their room,
Dialogue: 0,0:47:46.55,0:47:48.55,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}my son has four screens\N\hgoing simultaneously.
Dialogue: 0,0:47:49.05,0:47:50.05,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}He's got a game on here, he's\N\h\hplaying a move over here.
Dialogue: 0,0:47:50.05,0:47:52.05,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}He's also downloading,\N\h\h\h\h\hhe's texting.
Dialogue: 0,0:47:52.05,0:47:54.05,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}He's got all this stuff going\Nand people go, "That's ADD."
Dialogue: 0,0:47:54.05,0:47:55.55,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}\hI go, "Bullshit,\Nhe's multitasking.
Dialogue: 0,0:47:55.56,0:47:56.06,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(280,432)}"Fuck off."
Dialogue: 0,0:47:57.22,0:47:58.86,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}\h\h\h\h\h\hAnd then suddenly\NI've become my father, going,
Dialogue: 0,0:47:58.86,0:48:00.36,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}"Your mother and\NI weren't online.
Dialogue: 0,0:48:00.36,0:48:03.86,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}"We did lines, my friend.\N\h\h\hI'll tell you that.
Dialogue: 0,0:48:03.86,0:48:05.86,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}"You do 50,000 hits,\N\h\hwe did five hits.
Dialogue: 0,0:48:05.87,0:48:07.88,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}"Yeah, that's how\N\hmuch we needed.
Dialogue: 0,0:48:07.87,0:48:09.33,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}\h\h\h"And we didn't have\NTwitter, we had shitter.
Dialogue: 0,0:48:09.34,0:48:12.88,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}\h\h\h"That was my chat room.\NWe had useless conversations.
Dialogue: 0,0:48:12.87,0:48:15.37,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}\h\h"We just didn't fucking\Nshare them with the world.
Dialogue: 0,0:48:15.38,0:48:17.15,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}\h\h"What are you doing? Oh,\Nyou're playing with your Wii.
Dialogue: 0,0:48:17.14,0:48:18.18,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}"Oh, you got a joystick.
Dialogue: 0,0:48:18.18,0:48:19.65,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(306,432)}"Yeah.
Dialogue: 0,0:48:19.65,0:48:20.68,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}"I had a joystick growing up,
Dialogue: 0,0:48:20.68,0:48:23.92,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}\h\h\h"except mine was\Nfucking attached, yeah.
Dialogue: 0,0:48:23.92,0:48:28.49,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}"And it was a first-person\N\h\h\h\hshooter too, yeah!
Dialogue: 0,0:48:28.49,0:48:29.99,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(267,432)}"Goddamn it."
Dialogue: 0,0:48:32.49,0:48:33.66,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}I miss human contact.
Dialogue: 0,0:48:33.66,0:48:35.66,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}Even on the phone for\Ndirectory assistance.
Dialogue: 0,0:48:35.66,0:48:37.66,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}\h\h\h\h\h\h\hIt's like,\N"City and state, please."
Dialogue: 0,0:48:37.66,0:48:39.67,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}Washington, D.C.
Dialogue: 0,0:48:39.67,0:48:40.17,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}"What would you like?"
Dialogue: 0,0:48:40.67,0:48:41.67,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}Constitution Hall.
Dialogue: 0,0:48:41.67,0:48:43.67,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}"Did you say 'Kennedy Center'?"
Dialogue: 0,0:48:43.67,0:48:44.67,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(332,432)}No.
Dialogue: 0,0:48:46.67,0:48:48.67,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}Constitution Hall.
Dialogue: 0,0:48:48.68,0:48:50.19,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}\h\h\h\h\h"Did you say\N'Congressional Balls'?"
Dialogue: 0,0:48:50.18,0:48:51.14,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(332,432)}No.
Dialogue: 0,0:48:52.18,0:48:54.65,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}\hAnd it starts to become\Nlike {\i1}The Miracle Worker{\r} .
Dialogue: 0,0:48:54.65,0:48:58.68,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}Constitution Hall.
Dialogue: 0,0:48:59.69,0:49:00.69,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}"Did you say 'cocksucker'?"
Dialogue: 0,0:49:00.69,0:49:03.69,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}No, I didn't say cocksucker!
Dialogue: 0,0:49:03.69,0:49:04.69,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}"Would you like to\Ntalk to a person?"
Dialogue: 0,0:49:04.69,0:49:05.19,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(293,432)}Fuck yes!
Dialogue: 0,0:49:06.69,0:49:08.19,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}"If you'd like to talk to a\Nperson, press one. (beeps)
Dialogue: 0,0:49:08.20,0:49:09.20,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}"If you'd like to talk\Nto someone in English,
Dialogue: 0,0:49:09.20,0:49:10.71,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}press two. (beeps)
Dialogue: 0,0:49:10.70,0:49:12.20,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}\h"Are you sure you don't want\Nto talk to someone in Spanish?
Dialogue: 0,0:49:12.20,0:49:13.70,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}"Press three. (beeps)
Dialogue: 0,0:49:13.70,0:49:16.20,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}\h"Press four if you'd like to\Nmove to the next menu. (beeps)
Dialogue: 0,0:49:16.20,0:49:18.20,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}"Press five if you're getting\N\hsomewhat irritated. (beeps)
Dialogue: 0,0:49:18.21,0:49:19.72,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}\h\h\h\h\h\h"Press six if\Nyou're my bitch. (beeps)
Dialogue: 0,0:49:19.71,0:49:21.21,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h"Press seven,\Nyou know you want to. (beeps)
Dialogue: 0,0:49:21.21,0:49:22.71,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}"Press eight, daddy,\N\h\h\hdo it. (beeps)
Dialogue: 0,0:49:22.71,0:49:23.71,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}"Press nine. (beeps)
Dialogue: 0,0:49:23.71,0:49:25.71,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}"What are the chances of\Ntalking to a real person?
Dialogue: 0,0:49:25.71,0:49:28.21,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}"Zero, press it!" (beeps)
Dialogue: 0,0:49:28.22,0:49:30.23,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(293,432)}(beeping)
Dialogue: 0,0:49:32.22,0:49:34.22,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(293,432)}(beeping)
Dialogue: 0,0:49:37.22,0:49:41.53,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}"Hello, did you want to\Ntalk to a real person?"
Dialogue: 0,0:49:41.53,0:49:43.03,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}(audience laughing)
Dialogue: 0,0:49:43.03,0:49:44.53,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(319,432)}Yes!
Dialogue: 0,0:49:44.90,0:49:48.60,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}Oh, my God, yes!
Dialogue: 0,0:49:48.60,0:49:49.90,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(319,432)}Yes!
Dialogue: 0,0:49:49.90,0:49:51.44,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(254,432)}Where are you?
Dialogue: 0,0:49:51.44,0:49:52.90,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}You're a real person?
Dialogue: 0,0:49:52.91,0:49:54.75,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(254,432)}"Very much so."
Dialogue: 0,0:49:54.74,0:49:55.74,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(254,432)}Where are you?
Dialogue: 0,0:49:55.74,0:49:57.24,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}"I am on the phone with you."
Dialogue: 0,0:49:58.75,0:49:59.76,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}What is your name?
Dialogue: 0,0:49:59.75,0:50:01.25,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}"Thomas Edison."
Dialogue: 0,0:50:01.75,0:50:03.75,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}Don't fuck with me, Thomas.
Dialogue: 0,0:50:03.75,0:50:04.75,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}"Don't fuck with me, Mork.
Dialogue: 0,0:50:04.75,0:50:06.25,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}"I know who you are."
Dialogue: 0,0:50:06.25,0:50:07.25,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}(audience laughing)
Dialogue: 0,0:50:07.25,0:50:08.25,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(319,432)}What?
Dialogue: 0,0:50:09.26,0:50:12.27,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}"I know about you googling\N\h\h\h\h\h\h\h'cocksucker',
Dialogue: 0,0:50:12.26,0:50:14.23,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}"so don't piss me off.
Dialogue: 0,0:50:14.23,0:50:15.76,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}\h"And I have access\Nto a nuclear device.
Dialogue: 0,0:50:15.76,0:50:17.76,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}"And I can say it unlike\N\hyour former president,
Dialogue: 0,0:50:17.76,0:50:18.76,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}"so don't fucking piss me off.
Dialogue: 0,0:50:18.77,0:50:20.24,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}"♪ Change a light bulb,\Nchange a light bulb ♪"
Dialogue: 0,0:50:20.23,0:50:22.73,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}"♪ Change a light bulb now ♪"
Dialogue: 0,0:50:22.74,0:50:25.75,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}(imitating speaking in Chinese)
Dialogue: 0,0:50:25.74,0:50:29.74,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}"China is now outsourcing many\NAmerican products as we speak.
Dialogue: 0,0:50:29.74,0:50:32.24,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}"You send us your cat food,\N\h\hwe send it back to you.
Dialogue: 0,0:50:32.25,0:50:33.76,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}"Sorry about kitty.
Dialogue: 0,0:50:35.25,0:50:36.21,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}"We make your toys.
Dialogue: 0,0:50:36.22,0:50:37.76,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}"Oh, Timmy can't take lead.
Dialogue: 0,0:50:37.75,0:50:39.15,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}"How sad for him.
Dialogue: 0,0:50:41.59,0:50:44.09,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}And now Chinese families are\N\hadopting American lesbians.
Dialogue: 0,0:50:44.09,0:50:46.09,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}"Payback is a bitch. Now."
Dialogue: 0,0:50:49.10,0:50:50.61,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}China makes a lot\Nof money off us.
Dialogue: 0,0:50:50.60,0:50:52.10,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}\hBut we're gonna get\Nsome money back soon
Dialogue: 0,0:50:52.10,0:50:55.33,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}because they're gonna open\N\ha Disneyland in Shanghai.
Dialogue: 0,0:50:55.34,0:50:56.34,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(254,432)}It'll be cool.
Dialogue: 0,0:50:56.34,0:50:58.35,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}It'll have characters\N\h\hlike Mickey Mao.
Dialogue: 0,0:51:00.84,0:51:01.84,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}There'll be Duck Xiaoping.
Dialogue: 0,0:51:03.34,0:51:04.84,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}\hYou go down main street,\Nthere'll be 12 Donald Ducks
Dialogue: 0,0:51:04.84,0:51:06.34,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}hanging upside down\N\h\hin the market.
Dialogue: 0,0:51:06.35,0:51:07.79,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}That'll be cool.
Dialogue: 0,0:51:09.22,0:51:10.73,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}And there'll be the Village\N\hPeople's republic going.
Dialogue: 0,0:51:10.72,0:51:13.72,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h♪ Young Mao,\Nthere's a place you can go ♪
Dialogue: 0,0:51:13.72,0:51:15.65,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}♪ I say, young Mao ♪
Dialogue: 0,0:51:17.06,0:51:18.06,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(319,432)}And.
Dialogue: 0,0:51:19.86,0:51:21.43,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}Before the Olympics,
Dialogue: 0,0:51:22.43,0:51:24.93,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}the Tibetans were demonstrating\N\h\h\h\h\hagainst the Chinese.
Dialogue: 0,0:51:25.30,0:51:26.13,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}It was kind of sad too
Dialogue: 0,0:51:26.13,0:51:28.13,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}\hbecause the Chinese\Naccused the Tibetans
Dialogue: 0,0:51:28.13,0:51:29.63,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}of being terrorists,\N\h\h\hwhich is weird.
Dialogue: 0,0:51:29.64,0:51:31.65,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}A Tibetan terrorist is\N\hlike an Amish hacker.
Dialogue: 0,0:51:31.64,0:51:32.64,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}It just doesn't fit.
Dialogue: 0,0:51:34.14,0:51:35.14,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}And then California we went,
Dialogue: 0,0:51:35.14,0:51:37.14,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}"We are gonna boycott\N\h\hChinese products
Dialogue: 0,0:51:37.14,0:51:38.64,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(137,432)}"in sympathy with the Tibetans."
Dialogue: 0,0:51:38.65,0:51:42.66,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}Then they went, "Fuck,\Nthey make everything."
Dialogue: 0,0:51:42.65,0:51:45.15,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}And they even make the\N"Free Tibet" stickers,
Dialogue: 0,0:51:45.15,0:51:47.15,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}so it's fucking insane.
Dialogue: 0,0:51:48.62,0:51:52.16,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}And the weird thing in the\NChinese Olympics, Beijing,
Dialogue: 0,0:51:52.16,0:51:53.66,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}one of the most polluted\N\h\hcities in the world.
Dialogue: 0,0:51:54.16,0:51:55.63,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}During the Olympics,\N\h\h\h\hno pollution.
Dialogue: 0,0:51:55.63,0:51:57.16,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}How did they pull this off?
Dialogue: 0,0:51:57.16,0:51:59.66,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}\h\h\hI believe they sent one\Nbillion Chinese into Beijing.
Dialogue: 0,0:51:59.67,0:52:02.34,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}Everyone breathe in. (inhales)
Dialogue: 0,0:52:04.34,0:52:05.84,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(293,432)}(exhales)
Dialogue: 0,0:52:07.34,0:52:09.34,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}\h\hAnd one of my favorite\Nevents during the Olympics
Dialogue: 0,0:52:09.34,0:52:11.81,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}\h\h\hwas women's gymnastics,\Nwhich is kind of a misnomer.
Dialogue: 0,0:52:11.81,0:52:12.64,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}These are not women.
Dialogue: 0,0:52:12.95,0:52:14.02,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}These are Shetland females.
Dialogue: 0,0:52:15.02,0:52:17.53,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}\hAnd some of the events\Nare a little. (chuckles)
Dialogue: 0,0:52:17.52,0:52:19.02,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}Like the uneven parallel bars
Dialogue: 0,0:52:19.02,0:52:21.02,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}\h\h\h\h\h\his a bit like\Nhorizontal pole dancing.
Dialogue: 0,0:52:21.02,0:52:22.99,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}\hIt's like, daddy would\Nlike to watch this alone,
Dialogue: 0,0:52:22.99,0:52:24.52,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}if you don't mind.
Dialogue: 0,0:52:25.53,0:52:26.54,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}And who invented that event?
Dialogue: 0,0:52:26.53,0:52:29.03,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}\hWas there some German\Nat a playground going,
Dialogue: 0,0:52:29.03,0:52:32.66,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}\h\h\h"Here's my idea for\Ngirls in tight clothing.
Dialogue: 0,0:52:32.67,0:52:34.18,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}"I want you to put on spandex
Dialogue: 0,0:52:34.17,0:52:35.67,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}"and then spin around\N\h\hon the upper bar,
Dialogue: 0,0:52:35.67,0:52:38.14,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}"and slam your vagina into\Nthe lower bar, spin around.
Dialogue: 0,0:52:38.14,0:52:39.17,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}"Who's your daddy?\N\hWho's your daddy?
Dialogue: 0,0:52:39.17,0:52:40.17,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}"Who's your daddy?
Dialogue: 0,0:52:40.17,0:52:41.67,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}"Spread your legs\Nand then dismount
Dialogue: 0,0:52:41.68,0:52:43.69,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}"and make it look like\N\hyou had a good time."
Dialogue: 0,0:52:43.68,0:52:45.11,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}(audience laughing\N\h\hand applauding)
Dialogue: 0,0:52:45.11,0:52:45.68,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(319,432)}What?
Dialogue: 0,0:52:46.68,0:52:47.18,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(306,432)}Weird.
Dialogue: 0,0:52:48.68,0:52:51.45,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}\h\h\h\hAnd they do all\Nthis incredible stuff.
Dialogue: 0,0:52:51.45,0:52:53.45,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}And if their foot goes\None inch to the right,
Dialogue: 0,0:52:53.95,0:52:55.45,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(254,432)}you're fucked!
Dialogue: 0,0:52:55.46,0:52:56.97,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}And who invented\Nthe pommel horse?
Dialogue: 0,0:52:56.96,0:52:58.46,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}Was it a cowboy with ADD going,
Dialogue: 0,0:52:58.46,0:52:59.46,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}"I'm on the horse,\NI'm off the horse,
Dialogue: 0,0:52:59.46,0:53:01.96,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}"I'm on the horse,\NI'm off the horse."
Dialogue: 0,0:53:01.96,0:53:02.96,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(332,432)}No.
Dialogue: 0,0:53:03.96,0:53:06.46,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}My favorite athletes\N\h\h\hof any Olympics
Dialogue: 0,0:53:06.47,0:53:08.48,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}\h\h\h\h\hare always the\NAfrican distance runners.
Dialogue: 0,0:53:08.47,0:53:10.97,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}You never have to drug-test\Nan African distance runner.
Dialogue: 0,0:53:10.97,0:53:11.97,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}Are you on drugs?
Dialogue: 0,0:53:12.34,0:53:14.71,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}No, I'm looking for food.
Dialogue: 0,0:53:16.68,0:53:18.18,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}And I'm sure in Kenya,
Dialogue: 0,0:53:18.18,0:53:21.68,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}there's a chicken that runs\N\ha sub-two-hour marathon.
Dialogue: 0,0:53:21.68,0:53:23.68,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}(audience laughing)
Dialogue: 0,0:53:23.68,0:53:25.18,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}\hYou just won the\NNew York marathon.
Dialogue: 0,0:53:25.19,0:53:25.99,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}How do you feel?
Dialogue: 0,0:53:25.99,0:53:27.36,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(293,432)}(clucks)
Dialogue: 0,0:53:28.86,0:53:29.86,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}What did he say?
Dialogue: 0,0:53:29.86,0:53:32.87,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}He's wondering where\N\hthe Ethiopians are.
Dialogue: 0,0:53:32.86,0:53:36.39,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}\hOne of my favorite runners\Nof all time was Abebe Bikila.
Dialogue: 0,0:53:36.40,0:53:37.87,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}He was an Ethiopian\N\h\hdistance runner
Dialogue: 0,0:53:37.86,0:53:39.86,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}\h\h\h\hand he won the Rome\NOlympics running barefoot.
Dialogue: 0,0:53:39.87,0:53:41.88,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(137,432)}He was then sponsored by Adidas.
Dialogue: 0,0:53:41.87,0:53:45.44,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}He ran the next Olympics, he\N\hcarried the fucking shoes.
Dialogue: 0,0:53:47.44,0:53:49.44,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}No performance enhancement\N\h\h\h\h\h\hthere, no way.
Dialogue: 0,0:53:49.44,0:53:50.74,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}\h\hBecause always\Npeople are looking
Dialogue: 0,0:53:51.24,0:53:52.24,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}for performance enhancement.
Dialogue: 0,0:53:52.25,0:53:53.42,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}Cut to the American swim team
Dialogue: 0,0:53:53.91,0:53:55.41,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}with their new porpoise\N\h\hforeskin swimsuits.
Dialogue: 0,0:53:55.42,0:53:56.46,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}Full-body condom swimsuits.
Dialogue: 0,0:53:56.45,0:53:57.95,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}What the fuck was going on?
Dialogue: 0,0:53:57.95,0:54:00.45,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}\hThese guys were shaved like a\NBrazilian hooker to begin with.
Dialogue: 0,0:54:00.45,0:54:01.45,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}What was going on?
Dialogue: 0,0:54:01.45,0:54:03.96,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}Was there one pubic hair\N\hlike (blows raspberry).
Dialogue: 0,0:54:05.46,0:54:06.96,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}\h\h\h\hAnd they put on\Nthat full-body condom,
Dialogue: 0,0:54:06.96,0:54:10.20,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}even the penis is like,\N"I'm in here, help me."
Dialogue: 0,0:54:10.20,0:54:11.96,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}But I realized the\Nmoment you do that,
Dialogue: 0,0:54:11.97,0:54:14.68,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}no nutsack drag. (grunts)
Dialogue: 0,0:54:14.67,0:54:16.60,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}You're a Ken doll all of a\Nsudden. You ready to swim?
Dialogue: 0,0:54:16.60,0:54:18.07,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(280,432)}I think so.
Dialogue: 0,0:54:19.07,0:54:22.07,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}But no more nutsack drag.
Dialogue: 0,0:54:22.08,0:54:23.59,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}0.05 nutsack drag with this.
Dialogue: 0,0:54:23.58,0:54:26.08,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}Then you get to the end of\Nthe pool 0.05 faster, why?
Dialogue: 0,0:54:26.08,0:54:27.58,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}No nutsack drag.
Dialogue: 0,0:54:28.08,0:54:29.58,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}And the French got\N\hpissed off going,
Dialogue: 0,0:54:29.58,0:54:33.29,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}"They have no nutsack drag.\N\h\h\h\hThey're cheating."
Dialogue: 0,0:54:33.29,0:54:36.72,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}And Michael Phelps is on\Nthe box of Frosted Flakes
Dialogue: 0,0:54:36.72,0:54:38.22,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(137,432)}then he gets caught smoking weed
Dialogue: 0,0:54:38.22,0:54:40.73,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}and then take him off the\N\hbox of Frosted Flakes.
Dialogue: 0,0:54:40.73,0:54:44.23,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}\hThis is a failure in\Nmarketing, my friends.
Dialogue: 0,0:54:44.73,0:54:47.23,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}Listen, if you're basically\N\h\h\hhaving Frosted Flakes
Dialogue: 0,0:54:47.23,0:54:48.73,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}and you're older\Nthan 10 years old
Dialogue: 0,0:54:48.74,0:54:51.25,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}and it's after 10 o'clock\N\h\h\h\h\hin the morning.
Dialogue: 0,0:54:51.24,0:54:52.70,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}(audience laughing)
Dialogue: 0,0:54:52.71,0:54:56.28,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}I'm gonna guess weed\N\h\hmay be involved.
Dialogue: 0,0:54:59.08,0:55:01.65,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}And you can't tell me marijuana
Dialogue: 0,0:55:01.65,0:55:03.65,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(137,432)}is a performance-enhancing drug.
Dialogue: 0,0:55:03.65,0:55:04.65,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(293,432)}Fuck off.
Dialogue: 0,0:55:04.65,0:55:06.15,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}It's only a performance-\N\h\h\h\h\henhancing drug
Dialogue: 0,0:55:06.15,0:55:09.82,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}if there's a fucking chocolate\N\h\hbar at the end of the pool.
Dialogue: 0,0:55:09.82,0:55:11.32,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}Then even a one-legged\N\h\h\hswimmer will go,
Dialogue: 0,0:55:11.32,0:55:13.33,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}"I will beat your ass."
Dialogue: 0,0:55:14.23,0:55:17.30,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}\hBut performance enhancement\Ndoesn't always include drugs.
Dialogue: 0,0:55:17.30,0:55:18.80,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}Cut to Miss Semenya,
Dialogue: 0,0:55:18.80,0:55:20.30,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}\h\h\hthe South African\Nmiddle-distance runner
Dialogue: 0,0:55:20.30,0:55:21.80,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}who turns out to be a he-she.
Dialogue: 0,0:55:21.80,0:55:23.30,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}She's a hermaphrodite.
Dialogue: 0,0:55:23.30,0:55:26.30,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}\hShe can have her own\Nbiathlon, kind of neat.
Dialogue: 0,0:55:26.31,0:55:27.82,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}But this is not new.
Dialogue: 0,0:55:27.81,0:55:29.81,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}\hThe East Germans used to have\Nreally butch female sprinters.
Dialogue: 0,0:55:29.81,0:55:33.31,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}\h\h\h"Olga, you just won the\N100 meters. How do you feel?"
Dialogue: 0,0:55:33.31,0:55:34.31,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(254,432)}"Really good."
Dialogue: 0,0:55:35.82,0:55:36.32,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}"Is that a penis?"
Dialogue: 0,0:55:36.32,0:55:39.83,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}"No, just a very\Nlarge clitoris."
Dialogue: 0,0:55:39.82,0:55:41.32,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(319,432)}"Oh."
Dialogue: 0,0:55:42.32,0:55:43.82,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}\hAnd the Germans used\Nto give their athletes
Dialogue: 0,0:55:44.32,0:55:45.32,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}pure fucking speed.
Dialogue: 0,0:55:45.33,0:55:46.84,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}They would finish a race going,
Dialogue: 0,0:55:46.83,0:55:48.33,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}"Hans, you just won a race.\N\h\h\h\h\hHow do you feel?"
Dialogue: 0,0:55:49.83,0:55:52.33,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}\h\h\h\h"But the spiders are\Ncrawling all over me again."
Dialogue: 0,0:55:54.83,0:55:56.84,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}\hAnd the one drug they seem\Nto have the most problem with
Dialogue: 0,0:55:56.84,0:55:58.34,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(267,432)}is steroids.
Dialogue: 0,0:55:58.34,0:55:59.84,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}And there are always\N\hthese poor fuckers
Dialogue: 0,0:55:59.84,0:56:02.34,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}\h\hwho get caught doing\Nsteroids and they deny it
Dialogue: 0,0:56:02.34,0:56:04.34,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}and yet, they look like\N\h\ha Mardi Gras float.
Dialogue: 0,0:56:05.85,0:56:07.79,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(137,432)}"Bubba, are you doing steroids?"
Dialogue: 0,0:56:07.78,0:56:08.68,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(319,432)}"No."
Dialogue: 0,0:56:10.18,0:56:11.68,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}"Where's your neck?"
Dialogue: 0,0:56:12.19,0:56:13.70,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(137,432)}"I haven't seen it for a while."
Dialogue: 0,0:56:16.19,0:56:17.19,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}"What about your balls?"
Dialogue: 0,0:56:17.19,0:56:18.69,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(254,432)}"I don't know."
Dialogue: 0,0:56:20.19,0:56:21.69,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}"You're taking horse genome."
Dialogue: 0,0:56:21.69,0:56:22.69,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(319,432)}"No!
Dialogue: 0,0:56:24.20,0:56:25.03,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(319,432)}"No."
Dialogue: 0,0:56:25.60,0:56:26.60,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}And it's weird too.
Dialogue: 0,0:56:26.60,0:56:29.10,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}Why would people take\Nsteroids in football?
Dialogue: 0,0:56:29.10,0:56:30.60,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}\h\hWell, in football,\Nthe object of the game
Dialogue: 0,0:56:30.60,0:56:32.10,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}is to be a big fucking\N\h\h\hmountain of flesh
Dialogue: 0,0:56:32.11,0:56:34.12,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}breaking past another\N\h\hmountain of flesh
Dialogue: 0,0:56:34.11,0:56:35.61,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}\h\hand grabbing the\Nlittle guy and going,
Dialogue: 0,0:56:35.61,0:56:38.18,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}\h\h\h\h"Tell me about the\Nrabbits," that's the game.
Dialogue: 0,0:56:38.18,0:56:40.18,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}But maybe if you get\Ncaught doing steroids
Dialogue: 0,0:56:40.18,0:56:41.68,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}instead of kicking\N\hyou off the team,
Dialogue: 0,0:56:41.68,0:56:44.68,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}you have to take another drug\N\hlike ecstasy to compensate.
Dialogue: 0,0:56:44.68,0:56:48.19,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}\h\hIt's gonna make the\Nhuddles a lot more fun.
Dialogue: 0,0:56:48.19,0:56:51.26,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}You're gonna come into\N\hthe huddle like, "Hi.
Dialogue: 0,0:56:52.76,0:56:54.26,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}"Sorry about the long count.
Dialogue: 0,0:56:54.26,0:56:55.76,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}"I just felt such love."
Dialogue: 0,0:56:57.26,0:56:58.76,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}\hAnd the other drug\Nthat people are doing
Dialogue: 0,0:56:58.77,0:57:00.28,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}is human growth hormone.
Dialogue: 0,0:57:00.27,0:57:03.20,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}\h\h\hI first heard about human\Ngrowth hormone from Nick Nolte
Dialogue: 0,0:57:03.20,0:57:05.20,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}who was telling me the advances\N\h\h\hof human growth hormone.
Dialogue: 0,0:57:05.20,0:57:06.70,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}He was telling me, he was like,
Dialogue: 0,0:57:06.71,0:57:08.92,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}"Robin, human growth\N\hhormone is amazing.
Dialogue: 0,0:57:08.91,0:57:12.01,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}"It's taking 20..."\N\h\h\h\h\h(grunts)
Dialogue: 0,0:57:12.01,0:57:14.51,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}\hHe went fucking\Nstiff as a board.
Dialogue: 0,0:57:14.51,0:57:15.78,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hAnd I went,\NI'll get back to you, Nick.
Dialogue: 0,0:57:15.78,0:57:16.78,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(280,432)}Good luck.
Dialogue: 0,0:57:18.22,0:57:21.62,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}But there was one guy, one guy
Dialogue: 0,0:57:21.62,0:57:23.15,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(137,432)}who had an amazing claim to fame
Dialogue: 0,0:57:23.16,0:57:25.17,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}in terms of drugs and sport.
Dialogue: 0,0:57:25.16,0:57:26.59,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}His name was Dock Ellis.
Dialogue: 0,0:57:26.59,0:57:28.83,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}\hAnd Dock Ellis did\Nan incredible thing.
Dialogue: 0,0:57:28.83,0:57:30.83,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}The one person who knows,\N\h\h\h\h\h\h\hthank you.
Dialogue: 0,0:57:32.83,0:57:36.84,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}Dock Ellis pitched a\N\h\hno-hitter on LSD.
Dialogue: 0,0:57:37.34,0:57:38.34,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}Those who have taken LSD,
Dialogue: 0,0:57:38.34,0:57:40.84,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}tell the others how\Nhard that might be.
Dialogue: 0,0:57:41.84,0:57:43.34,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(293,432)}Fuck off.
Dialogue: 0,0:57:43.34,0:57:46.14,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}If I took LSD, I'd be talking\Nto every blade of grass like,
Dialogue: 0,0:57:46.15,0:57:47.42,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}"Sorry, sorry, sorry."
Dialogue: 0,0:57:48.41,0:57:51.42,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}To walk into a major-league\N\h\hbaseball stadium like.
Dialogue: 0,0:57:54.92,0:57:57.92,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}The whole field is like, whoa!
Dialogue: 0,0:57:57.92,0:58:00.43,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.
Dialogue: 0,0:58:00.43,0:58:03.43,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}All the fans in the\Nstadium like, ugh!
Dialogue: 0,0:58:07.93,0:58:09.93,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}The umpire walks out,\N\h\h\h\h\hit's Shiva.
Dialogue: 0,0:58:09.94,0:58:12.45,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(280,432)}(chanting)
Dialogue: 0,0:58:12.94,0:58:14.44,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}The catcher steps out.
Dialogue: 0,0:58:14.44,0:58:16.14,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}Instead of a mask he's\Nwearing a samurai mask.
Dialogue: 0,0:58:16.14,0:58:18.21,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}(yells gibberish)
Dialogue: 0,0:58:18.21,0:58:19.71,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}Instead of a glove,\N\h\hit's a vagina.
Dialogue: 0,0:58:19.71,0:58:21.21,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(254,432)}Come to daddy!
Dialogue: 0,0:58:21.71,0:58:22.71,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}The batter walks out.
Dialogue: 0,0:58:22.72,0:58:24.23,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}Instead of cleats,\N\hhe's got hooves.
Dialogue: 0,0:58:24.22,0:58:28.82,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}Yes, instead of a bat,\Nit's a cobra. (hisses)
Dialogue: 0,0:58:28.82,0:58:30.32,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}You walk out on the mound,\N\heven your glove's going,
Dialogue: 0,0:58:30.32,0:58:32.32,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}"This is fucking weird."
Dialogue: 0,0:58:32.83,0:58:34.34,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}The ball, "Yes, I love you."
Dialogue: 0,0:58:34.33,0:58:35.33,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(254,432)}Let's do this.
Dialogue: 0,0:58:35.33,0:58:36.33,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}"Do it, daddy, do it."
Dialogue: 0,0:58:36.33,0:58:38.96,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(280,432)}(chanting)
Dialogue: 0,0:58:38.97,0:58:41.48,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(280,432)}(screaming)
Dialogue: 0,0:58:41.47,0:58:43.43,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(137,432)}Pass the cobra, into the vagina.
Dialogue: 0,0:58:43.44,0:58:45.48,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(280,432)}(chanting)
Dialogue: 0,0:58:46.97,0:58:48.97,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}For nine fucking innings?
Dialogue: 0,0:58:49.98,0:58:50.99,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(293,432)}Fuck me.
Dialogue: 0,0:58:52.45,0:58:56.02,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}(audience applauding)
Dialogue: 0,0:58:58.02,0:58:59.28,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(254,432)}It's like, wow.
Dialogue: 0,0:59:00.75,0:59:03.79,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}\hHe should have his own black\Nlight room at the hall of fame.
Dialogue: 0,0:59:05.29,0:59:07.29,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}When I was growing up\N\h\hthey used to say,
Dialogue: 0,0:59:07.29,0:59:09.79,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}"Robin, drugs can kill you."
Dialogue: 0,0:59:09.80,0:59:12.31,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}And now that I'm 58,\N\hmy doctor's going,
Dialogue: 0,0:59:12.30,0:59:14.80,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(137,432)}"Robin, you need drugs to live."
Dialogue: 0,0:59:15.80,0:59:19.30,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}And I realized my doctor's\N\h\h\h\h\h\h\hmy dealer now
Dialogue: 0,0:59:19.31,0:59:21.82,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}and a lot harder\Nto get ahold of.
Dialogue: 0,0:59:21.81,0:59:23.81,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}And he's always giving\N\hme free samples like,
Dialogue: 0,0:59:23.81,0:59:27.81,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}"Yo, Robin, some Lipitor,\Nmotherfucker. Try it out.
Dialogue: 0,0:59:30.12,0:59:31.69,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}"That's all I can hook\Nyou up with right now.
Dialogue: 0,0:59:31.68,0:59:35.49,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}"I got a HMO on my back, baby.\N\h\h\h\h\hThat's all I can do."
Dialogue: 0,0:59:35.99,0:59:38.49,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}And it's weird too, these\N\hdrugs have side effects
Dialogue: 0,0:59:38.49,0:59:39.49,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}that go on for fucking days.
Dialogue: 0,0:59:39.49,0:59:40.76,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}\hLike tendency to\Ngrow another head.
Dialogue: 0,0:59:41.26,0:59:41.76,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(280,432)}Oh my God.
Dialogue: 0,0:59:43.10,0:59:43.94,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}\hWhen we were growing up\Nwe knew the side effects
Dialogue: 0,0:59:44.43,0:59:45.43,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}of the drugs we were taking.
Dialogue: 0,0:59:45.43,0:59:48.37,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(137,432)}\h\h\hCocaine, side effects were\Nparanoia and ninjas on the lawn.
Dialogue: 0,0:59:48.37,0:59:49.37,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}I remember that.
Dialogue: 0,0:59:50.37,0:59:52.37,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}\hQuaaludes, side effects\Nwere talking in tongues,
Dialogue: 0,0:59:52.87,0:59:53.87,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}English as a second language.
Dialogue: 0,0:59:53.87,0:59:55.37,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}I remember that.
Dialogue: 0,0:59:55.37,0:59:56.87,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}Marijuana, side effects\N\h\h\h\h\hwere laughter
Dialogue: 0,0:59:56.88,0:59:57.89,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}and Frosted Flakes.
Dialogue: 0,0:59:57.88,0:59:59.88,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}That's all I remember.
Dialogue: 0,0:59:59.88,1:00:00.88,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}But now there are side effects
Dialogue: 0,1:00:00.88,1:00:02.35,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}\h\h\hwhich fucking\Nrival the syndrome.
Dialogue: 0,1:00:02.35,1:00:05.38,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}There's a syndrome called\N\hrestless leg syndrome.
Dialogue: 0,1:00:05.38,1:00:06.38,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}What the fuck is that?
Dialogue: 0,1:00:06.39,1:00:07.90,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}A tendency to break out\N\h\hinto a Riverdance?
Dialogue: 0,1:00:08.35,1:00:09.82,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}Like, oh, dear Christ.
Dialogue: 0,1:00:10.82,1:00:14.83,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}\hGrandma's got fucking\Nrestless leg syndrome.
Dialogue: 0,1:00:14.83,1:00:15.83,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}Take care of kids.
Dialogue: 0,1:00:15.83,1:00:17.33,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}I'm on my way to Dublin.
Dialogue: 0,1:00:17.33,1:00:18.33,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(280,432)}Take care.
Dialogue: 0,1:00:20.83,1:00:23.84,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}And side effects include\N\h\h\hcompulsive gambling
Dialogue: 0,1:00:23.84,1:00:26.34,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}and obsessive sexual behavior.
Dialogue: 0,1:00:26.34,1:00:27.34,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}That's not a side effect.
Dialogue: 0,1:00:27.34,1:00:28.84,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}That's fucking Vegas.
Dialogue: 0,1:00:30.34,1:00:33.85,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}\h\hThey should just give you a\Nbus ticket and say, good luck.
Dialogue: 0,1:00:33.85,1:00:34.85,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}And how soon before\N\hthey have a drug
Dialogue: 0,1:00:34.85,1:00:39.35,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}\h\h\hwhere side effects may\Ninclude rectal ventriloquism?
Dialogue: 0,1:00:40.85,1:00:44.86,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}\hIf your asshole starts\Ntalking, call the doctor
Dialogue: 0,1:00:44.86,1:00:47.86,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}or get friends over 'cause\Nit's gonna be a fun night.
Dialogue: 0,1:00:47.86,1:00:49.36,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}(audience laughing)
Dialogue: 0,1:00:49.36,1:00:51.36,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}\h\hAnd what a great side\Neffect for a politician.
Dialogue: 0,1:00:51.86,1:00:53.16,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}I was never with that woman.
Dialogue: 0,1:00:53.17,1:00:53.98,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(319,432)}Liar!
Dialogue: 0,1:00:55.97,1:00:56.97,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(319,432)}Liar!
Dialogue: 0,1:00:57.47,1:00:59.97,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}He's an asshole and so am I!
Dialogue: 0,1:01:01.47,1:01:04.21,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}And the one drug they give you
Dialogue: 0,1:01:04.21,1:01:06.71,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}\h\h\hthat's kind of wonderful\Nbefore the surgery was Viagra.
Dialogue: 0,1:01:06.71,1:01:09.71,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}A great drug, amazing,\N\h\h\h\h\ha lot of fun.
Dialogue: 0,1:01:09.72,1:01:12.23,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}After open-heart surgery,\N\h\h\h\hnot so much fun.
Dialogue: 0,1:01:12.72,1:01:14.22,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}Taking Viagra after\Nopen-heart surgery
Dialogue: 0,1:01:14.22,1:01:17.72,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}is like a Civil War reenactment\N\h\h\hwith live ammo, not good.
Dialogue: 0,1:01:17.72,1:01:21.69,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(137,432)}It's a duel to the death between\N\h\h\h\hyour dick and your heart.
Dialogue: 0,1:01:21.69,1:01:24.23,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}\h\h\hThe moment you take it,\Nyour penis is like, "I'm 25.
Dialogue: 0,1:01:24.23,1:01:25.23,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}"Yes, let's do this!"
Dialogue: 0,1:01:25.23,1:01:28.60,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}And your heart's going,\N\h\h\h\h\h\h"Bullshit.
Dialogue: 0,1:01:28.60,1:01:31.10,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}"We're just back online,\N\h\h\h\h\h\hyou asshole.
Dialogue: 0,1:01:31.10,1:01:33.47,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}"Slow down, I'm gonna put\N\ha cramp in your calf."
Dialogue: 0,1:01:33.47,1:01:34.31,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(293,432)}(screams)
Dialogue: 0,1:01:35.31,1:01:37.31,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}And your penis is going,\N"I've still got the hips.
Dialogue: 0,1:01:37.31,1:01:39.74,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}"Ramming speed, let's do this."
Dialogue: 0,1:01:39.75,1:01:41.32,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}\h"And your heart's going,\NI'm throwing your back out.
Dialogue: 0,1:01:41.31,1:01:43.41,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(280,432)}"Fuck off."\N\h(screams)
Dialogue: 0,1:01:43.42,1:01:45.29,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}And your penis is going,\N\h\h\h\h"I'm still hard.
Dialogue: 0,1:01:45.28,1:01:46.78,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}"We're going in, yeah!"
Dialogue: 0,1:01:46.79,1:01:48.30,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}And your heart's going, "I'm\N\h\hopening up your asshole."
Dialogue: 0,1:01:48.29,1:01:49.29,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}(blows raspberry)
Dialogue: 0,1:01:49.29,1:01:51.79,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(280,432)}(screaming)
Dialogue: 0,1:01:52.76,1:01:53.79,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}"Are you coming?"
Dialogue: 0,1:01:53.79,1:01:55.89,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(137,432)}"No, I think I'm fucking dying."
Dialogue: 0,1:01:58.00,1:02:00.50,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}\hAnd when you finally\Ndo come after an hour,
Dialogue: 0,1:02:00.50,1:02:02.50,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}\h\hand after an hour,\Neven my penis is going,
Dialogue: 0,1:02:02.50,1:02:04.00,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}"I got shit to do."
Dialogue: 0,1:02:06.01,1:02:08.25,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}After an hour when you\Nfinally come it's like.
Dialogue: 0,1:02:08.24,1:02:10.74,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(280,432)}(screaming)
Dialogue: 0,1:02:11.74,1:02:13.75,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}One drop of sperm.
Dialogue: 0,1:02:15.75,1:02:19.75,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}\h\hWith two 50-year-old sperms\Ngoing, "Where the fuck are we?
Dialogue: 0,1:02:21.75,1:02:23.76,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}"I never thought I'd be\N\h\hcalled into action.
Dialogue: 0,1:02:23.76,1:02:24.76,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}"This is crazy."
Dialogue: 0,1:02:26.26,1:02:27.76,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}\hI'm sure if you\Nhad a microscope,
Dialogue: 0,1:02:27.76,1:02:30.83,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}\h\h\h\hthey both would have\Nwalkers, like, "Keep moving.
Dialogue: 0,1:02:32.33,1:02:34.83,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(137,432)}"My tail is cramping, goddammit.
Dialogue: 0,1:02:37.34,1:02:38.34,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}"Head towards the tits.
Dialogue: 0,1:02:38.34,1:02:39.70,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}"I know my way from there."
Dialogue: 0,1:02:42.28,1:02:44.29,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}And I'm sure there's two other\N\h\h\hsperms in my balls going,
Dialogue: 0,1:02:44.28,1:02:45.28,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(280,432)}"Wait here.
Dialogue: 0,1:02:46.28,1:02:49.28,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}\h\h"If she puts a finger\Nin the ass, then we go."
Dialogue: 0,1:02:50.85,1:02:52.35,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(267,432)}Yes, indeed.
Dialogue: 0,1:02:54.85,1:02:55.85,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(319,432)}But,
Dialogue: 0,1:02:57.36,1:02:59.36,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}there's another drug.
Dialogue: 0,1:02:59.86,1:03:01.86,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}Another drug they don't\N\h\htell you is a drug.
Dialogue: 0,1:03:01.86,1:03:03.80,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}It's a class four narcotic,\N\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\halcohol.
Dialogue: 0,1:03:03.80,1:03:05.86,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}\h\hAnd the only warning they\Nhave on the bottle of alcohol
Dialogue: 0,1:03:05.87,1:03:06.84,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}is don't drink this if\N\h\h\hyou're pregnant.
Dialogue: 0,1:03:06.83,1:03:09.37,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}Bullshit, that's how you\Ngot pregnant, number one.
Dialogue: 0,1:03:11.37,1:03:13.37,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}And alcohol is especially\N\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hdangerous
Dialogue: 0,1:03:13.37,1:03:14.37,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}for people like myself,
Dialogue: 0,1:03:14.37,1:03:16.87,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}alcoholics, or you can\Nsay ethanol-challenged.
Dialogue: 0,1:03:16.88,1:03:18.89,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}Whatever you want to call it.
Dialogue: 0,1:03:18.88,1:03:19.88,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}And people go, now, "Robin,
Dialogue: 0,1:03:19.88,1:03:21.38,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}\h"how do I know if\NI'm an alcoholic?"
Dialogue: 0,1:03:21.38,1:03:24.38,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}Well, as one, let me give\N\hyou some warning signs.
Dialogue: 0,1:03:24.38,1:03:26.88,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}\h\h\hNumber one, after a\Nnight of heavy drinking,
Dialogue: 0,1:03:26.89,1:03:28.30,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(137,432)}you wake up fully-clothed going,
Dialogue: 0,1:03:28.29,1:03:30.66,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}\h\h"Hey, somebody\Nshit in my pants."
Dialogue: 0,1:03:30.66,1:03:33.96,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}(audience laughing)
Dialogue: 0,1:03:38.50,1:03:39.00,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(280,432)}Number two.
Dialogue: 0,1:03:40.00,1:03:41.00,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}You have a couple of cocktails
Dialogue: 0,1:03:41.00,1:03:42.97,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}and you find yourself\Non the freeway going,
Dialogue: 0,1:03:42.97,1:03:44.90,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}\h\h"What are these fuckers\Ndoing going the wrong way?"
Dialogue: 0,1:03:44.90,1:03:46.37,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(280,432)}Number two.
Dialogue: 0,1:03:47.87,1:03:50.88,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}Number three, you get drunk,\N\hyou go out for Indian food,
Dialogue: 0,1:03:50.88,1:03:55.38,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}you wake up in Bombay with\Na camel licking your balls.
Dialogue: 0,1:03:55.38,1:03:56.88,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(306,432)}Ta-dah!
Dialogue: 0,1:03:56.88,1:03:59.38,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}You are an alcoholic.
Dialogue: 0,1:03:59.39,1:04:02.40,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}And some people say, "Robin,\NI'm a functioning alcoholic."
Dialogue: 0,1:04:02.39,1:04:03.39,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}Which is you can be one.
Dialogue: 0,1:04:03.39,1:04:07.39,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}It's like being a paraplegic\N\hlap dancer, you can do it.
Dialogue: 0,1:04:07.89,1:04:10.90,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}\h\hJust not as well\Nas the others really.
Dialogue: 0,1:04:11.90,1:04:13.90,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}And they say alcoholism\N\h\h\his peer pressure.
Dialogue: 0,1:04:13.90,1:04:17.34,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(137,432)}\hBullshit. Peer pressure for an\Nalcoholic is, "Psst, come here."
Dialogue: 0,1:04:18.80,1:04:21.31,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}And I believe alcoholics\N\hare God's rodeo clowns.
Dialogue: 0,1:04:21.31,1:04:24.31,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}We're the ones doing the stupid\N\h\h\hshit nobody else will do.
Dialogue: 0,1:04:24.31,1:04:25.81,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}\h\hWe're the ones coming\Nout of chute number five
Dialogue: 0,1:04:25.81,1:04:28.31,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}on a fifth of vodka like,\N\h\h\h\h\h\h\h"Yee-haw!"
Dialogue: 0,1:04:28.31,1:04:30.01,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}Looking for a woman\N\h\hwho's going ew!
Dialogue: 0,1:04:30.02,1:04:31.29,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}"You're the one, yeah!"
Dialogue: 0,1:04:32.35,1:04:33.85,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}And we're moody little\N\h\h\hmotherfuckers too
Dialogue: 0,1:04:33.85,1:04:37.96,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}\h\h\h\h'cause we'll be like,\N"Goddammit, man, I love you.
Dialogue: 0,1:04:37.96,1:04:39.59,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}"I'll fucking kill you.
Dialogue: 0,1:04:39.59,1:04:41.59,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}\h"Step outside.\NI'll kick my ass.
Dialogue: 0,1:04:41.59,1:04:43.26,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}"Goddammit, let's do this.
Dialogue: 0,1:04:43.26,1:04:44.33,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(293,432)}"Poor me.
Dialogue: 0,1:04:44.33,1:04:46.33,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}"Goddamn poor me.
Dialogue: 0,1:04:46.33,1:04:48.33,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}"Pour me another drink.
Dialogue: 0,1:04:49.84,1:04:51.35,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}And we think we're sexy too
Dialogue: 0,1:04:51.34,1:04:53.10,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}'cause we'll come up\Nto women going like,
Dialogue: 0,1:04:53.11,1:04:55.42,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}"Hey, baby, were your\N\h\hparents retarded?
Dialogue: 0,1:04:55.41,1:04:57.88,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}"Because you sure are special."
Dialogue: 0,1:04:57.88,1:05:00.91,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}(audience laughing)
Dialogue: 0,1:05:03.05,1:05:05.62,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}And we see nothing\N\hwrong with that.
Dialogue: 0,1:05:05.62,1:05:06.78,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}We've got backup.
Dialogue: 0,1:05:06.79,1:05:08.36,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}If that doesn't work, we\Ngo, "Hey, sit on my face.
Dialogue: 0,1:05:08.35,1:05:10.86,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}"I'll guess your weight."\N\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h(laughs)
Dialogue: 0,1:05:10.86,1:05:12.86,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(306,432)}"Yeah!"\N(barks)
Dialogue: 0,1:05:14.53,1:05:16.59,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}\hAnd ladies, if you take an\Nalcoholic home for the night,
Dialogue: 0,1:05:16.60,1:05:18.57,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(254,432)}oh, good luck.
Dialogue: 0,1:05:18.56,1:05:18.96,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}You're in for a fun evening.
Dialogue: 0,1:05:18.96,1:05:20.53,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}It's like playing pool\N\h\h\h\h\hwith a rope.
Dialogue: 0,1:05:20.53,1:05:22.03,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}Good fucking luck.
Dialogue: 0,1:05:22.03,1:05:25.07,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}He'll be like, "I love you."\N\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h(retching)
Dialogue: 0,1:05:25.64,1:05:26.14,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(267,432)}"I love you."
Dialogue: 0,1:05:27.64,1:05:30.14,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}And the next morning, that\N\h\hall-important question,
Dialogue: 0,1:05:30.14,1:05:31.64,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}"Who the fuck are you?"
Dialogue: 0,1:05:32.65,1:05:33.82,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(293,432)}(bleats)
Dialogue: 0,1:05:36.38,1:05:38.38,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}\h\h"Oh my God, well, at\Nleast I'll get a sweater.
Dialogue: 0,1:05:38.38,1:05:39.88,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}"Cool, fuckin'-a."
Dialogue: 0,1:05:40.89,1:05:42.39,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}'Cause, you see,\Nas an alcoholic,
Dialogue: 0,1:05:42.39,1:05:43.89,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}you will violate your standards
Dialogue: 0,1:05:43.89,1:05:45.62,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(137,432)}quicker than you can lower them.
Dialogue: 0,1:05:45.62,1:05:48.49,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}You will do shit that even\Nthe devil would go, "Dude."
Dialogue: 0,1:05:50.40,1:05:53.01,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}\h\h\hAnd there's a voice that\Ntells alcoholics we can drink.
Dialogue: 0,1:05:53.00,1:05:54.50,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}It's the same voice you hear
Dialogue: 0,1:05:54.50,1:05:57.00,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}if you can go up to the top\N\hof a very large building
Dialogue: 0,1:05:57.00,1:05:58.00,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}and you look over the side,
Dialogue: 0,1:05:58.00,1:06:01.81,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}\h\h\hthere's a little\Nvoice that goes, "Jump.
Dialogue: 0,1:06:01.81,1:06:02.57,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(254,432)}"You can fly."
Dialogue: 0,1:06:04.01,1:06:07.45,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}\hEven though your asshole\Nis going, "No, you can't."
Dialogue: 0,1:06:07.45,1:06:09.41,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}And if you ever thought about\Njumping off a tall building,
Dialogue: 0,1:06:09.42,1:06:11.93,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}there was a guy who jumped\Noff the Golden Gate Bridge
Dialogue: 0,1:06:11.92,1:06:12.92,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}and he survived.
Dialogue: 0,1:06:12.92,1:06:13.92,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}And he said this, he said,
Dialogue: 0,1:06:13.92,1:06:16.92,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}\h\h\h\h\h\h\h"Halfway down,\NI thought it was a bad idea."
Dialogue: 0,1:06:18.92,1:06:20.93,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}And some things you may\N\hwanna stay away from
Dialogue: 0,1:06:20.93,1:06:21.93,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}while drinking heavily,
Dialogue: 0,1:06:21.93,1:06:23.43,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}eBay, not a good idea.
Dialogue: 0,1:06:24.93,1:06:26.93,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}\heBay and alcoholism, a\Nperfect storm addiction.
Dialogue: 0,1:06:27.43,1:06:28.93,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}You'll find yourself\N\h\h\hup to your ass
Dialogue: 0,1:06:28.93,1:06:31.44,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}in George Foreman Grills\N\h\h\h\h\h\hand ShamWows.
Dialogue: 0,1:06:32.44,1:06:34.44,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}Another thing you don't want\N\h\hto do while really drunk
Dialogue: 0,1:06:34.44,1:06:35.77,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}is get a tattoo.
Dialogue: 0,1:06:35.77,1:06:37.07,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}I did, I got really loaded.
Dialogue: 0,1:06:37.08,1:06:38.59,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}\hI got a tattoo in\NMandarin that says
Dialogue: 0,1:06:38.58,1:06:40.58,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}"happiness and laughter"\N\h\h\h\h\h\h\hright here.
Dialogue: 0,1:06:40.58,1:06:41.58,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}I think it says that.
Dialogue: 0,1:06:41.58,1:06:42.58,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}I've never had a Chinese person
Dialogue: 0,1:06:42.58,1:06:46.32,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}\h\h\hthat close to my balls\Ngoing, "That's what it says."
Dialogue: 0,1:06:46.32,1:06:47.82,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}But I had a friend get\N\h\h\hreally fucked up
Dialogue: 0,1:06:47.82,1:06:48.89,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}\h\h\hand he got a\Ntattoo in Mandarin
Dialogue: 0,1:06:48.89,1:06:50.39,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}that's supposed to say\N\h\h\h"golden warrior."
Dialogue: 0,1:06:50.39,1:06:53.39,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}And a Chinese friend said,\N"No, it says 'ass monkey'."
Dialogue: 0,1:06:54.39,1:06:55.89,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}\h\hThen the idiot went\Nout and got drunk again
Dialogue: 0,1:06:55.90,1:06:56.90,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}and got a tattoo in Hindu
Dialogue: 0,1:06:56.90,1:06:58.91,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}that was supposed to say\N"dawn of enlightenment."
Dialogue: 0,1:06:58.90,1:06:59.90,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}And a Hindu friend said,
Dialogue: 0,1:06:59.90,1:07:02.90,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}\h\h\h\h\h\h"No, it says\N'deliveries on Tuesday'."
Dialogue: 0,1:07:02.90,1:07:03.90,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}So he is not the ass monkey
Dialogue: 0,1:07:03.90,1:07:06.90,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}\hwho delivers on Tuesday\Nfor the rest of his life.
Dialogue: 0,1:07:06.91,1:07:08.92,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}\hAnd girls, if you want\Nto get that lovely tattoo
Dialogue: 0,1:07:08.91,1:07:10.91,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}\hof the sunrise rising\Nout of your ass crack,
Dialogue: 0,1:07:10.91,1:07:12.91,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}\hgorgeous when you're\N20, but when you're 50,
Dialogue: 0,1:07:12.91,1:07:15.45,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}it's an octopus chasing\N\h\ha fucking starfish.
Dialogue: 0,1:07:15.45,1:07:17.52,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}(audience laughing)
Dialogue: 0,1:07:17.52,1:07:18.48,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(306,432)}So no.
Dialogue: 0,1:07:20.32,1:07:22.39,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(280,432)}Be careful.
Dialogue: 0,1:07:26.19,1:07:27.22,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}\hAnd if they made a drug\Nthat allowed you to drink
Dialogue: 0,1:07:27.73,1:07:28.76,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}and not get drunk,
Dialogue: 0,1:07:28.76,1:07:31.26,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}an alcoholic would go, "What\N\h\hhappens if you take two?"
Dialogue: 0,1:07:32.73,1:07:35.27,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}\h\h'Cause we have these things\Ncalled blackouts as alcoholics.
Dialogue: 0,1:07:35.27,1:07:36.27,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}It's not really blackouts.
Dialogue: 0,1:07:36.27,1:07:37.77,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}It's more like sleepwalking\N\h\h\h\h\hwith activities.
Dialogue: 0,1:07:37.77,1:07:39.77,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}It's kind of strange.
Dialogue: 0,1:07:39.77,1:07:40.77,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}I believe it's your conscience
Dialogue: 0,1:07:40.77,1:07:43.77,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}going into a witness\N\hprotection program.
Dialogue: 0,1:07:43.78,1:07:48.62,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}\h\hIt's your conscience going,\N"You're about to fuck a hobbit.
Dialogue: 0,1:07:48.61,1:07:49.95,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}"I gotta go, good luck.
Dialogue: 0,1:07:50.95,1:07:52.45,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}"I'm gonna leave the dick\N\h\hon and after an hour,
Dialogue: 0,1:07:52.95,1:07:53.95,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}"I'm opening up the asshole,
Dialogue: 0,1:07:53.95,1:07:54.95,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}"but that didn't stop\N\h\h\h\hyou Tuesday.
Dialogue: 0,1:07:54.95,1:07:56.45,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}"Good luck, take care."
Dialogue: 0,1:07:57.79,1:07:59.36,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}\h\h\hAnd alcoholics,\Nwe're like assholes.
Dialogue: 0,1:07:59.36,1:08:00.32,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}\hWe can't wait to\Nshit on everybody.
Dialogue: 0,1:08:00.33,1:08:01.87,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}Family, friends.
Dialogue: 0,1:08:01.86,1:08:04.86,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}\h\hWe'll be like, "Fuck you,\Nfuck you, fuck you, fuck you.
Dialogue: 0,1:08:04.86,1:08:05.86,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}"Go fuck yourself.
Dialogue: 0,1:08:05.86,1:08:07.36,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}"Fuck you, fuck.
Dialogue: 0,1:08:08.37,1:08:09.87,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(267,432)}"I'm fucked."
Dialogue: 0,1:08:10.87,1:08:12.87,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}And they tried to send my\Nass to rehab, and I went,
Dialogue: 0,1:08:12.87,1:08:14.87,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
Dialogue: 0,1:08:14.87,1:08:16.87,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}And I went to rehab in\N\h\h\h\h\hWine Country
Dialogue: 0,1:08:16.88,1:08:18.39,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}just to keep my options open.
Dialogue: 0,1:08:18.38,1:08:20.88,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}(audience laughing)
Dialogue: 0,1:08:20.88,1:08:22.38,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}And while I was in rehab,
Dialogue: 0,1:08:22.38,1:08:24.85,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}\h\hI read an article in {\i1}The\NInquirer{\r} about me being drunk.
Dialogue: 0,1:08:24.85,1:08:25.85,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}It was like, that poor fuck.
Dialogue: 0,1:08:25.85,1:08:26.72,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}Oh, fuck, that's me.
Dialogue: 0,1:08:27.29,1:08:28.30,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}(audience laughing)
Dialogue: 0,1:08:28.79,1:08:30.79,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}\h\h\hAnd the weird thing too\Nabout when you read articles
Dialogue: 0,1:08:30.79,1:08:32.29,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}in {\i1}The Inquirer{\r} or TMZ
Dialogue: 0,1:08:32.29,1:08:33.79,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}\h\hand you're looking at\Nall these assholes going,
Dialogue: 0,1:08:33.79,1:08:35.29,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}"Those poor motherfuckers,\N\h\h\h\h\h\hlook at that."
Dialogue: 0,1:08:35.29,1:08:37.80,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}\h\hAnd only the Germans could\Ncome up with the word for that.
Dialogue: 0,1:08:37.80,1:08:40.30,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}Feeling pleasure at other\N\h\hpeople's misfortune.
Dialogue: 0,1:08:40.30,1:08:41.80,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}It's called {\i1}schadenfreude{\r} .
Dialogue: 0,1:08:41.80,1:08:42.77,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}And only the Germans could go,
Dialogue: 0,1:08:42.77,1:08:44.30,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}"We found the fucking\N\h\h\hword for that.
Dialogue: 0,1:08:44.30,1:08:45.30,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}"God bless you."
Dialogue: 0,1:08:46.31,1:08:47.82,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}\hI was once on a\NGerman talk show.
Dialogue: 0,1:08:47.81,1:08:50.31,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}And if you want to go on\N\hone, it's a lot of fun.
Dialogue: 0,1:08:50.31,1:08:51.81,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}It's really fun.
Dialogue: 0,1:08:51.81,1:08:52.81,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}And I was on this\NGerman talk show
Dialogue: 0,1:08:52.81,1:08:54.31,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}\h\h\hand this woman\Nsaid to me, she said,
Dialogue: 0,1:08:54.31,1:08:56.81,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}"Mr. Williams, why do you think\N\h\hthere's not so much comedy
Dialogue: 0,1:08:56.82,1:08:57.83,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(267,432)}in Germany?"
Dialogue: 0,1:08:57.82,1:08:59.32,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}\h\h\h\h\h\hAnd I said,\N"Did you and ever think
Dialogue: 0,1:08:59.32,1:09:01.32,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}\h\h"you killed all\Nthe funny people?"
Dialogue: 0,1:09:01.32,1:09:03.29,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}(audience laughing\N\h\hand applauding)
Dialogue: 0,1:09:03.79,1:09:04.79,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(319,432)}And.
Dialogue: 0,1:09:07.56,1:09:08.59,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(293,432)}It was...
Dialogue: 0,1:09:09.16,1:09:10.66,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(137,432)}And here's what got interesting.
Dialogue: 0,1:09:10.66,1:09:11.66,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}She didn't bat an eyelash.
Dialogue: 0,1:09:11.66,1:09:13.46,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}She just went, "No."
Dialogue: 0,1:09:14.47,1:09:17.47,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}At that point even God's\N\hgoing, "Do you get it?"
Dialogue: 0,1:09:17.97,1:09:21.97,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}German comedy, knock knock,\N\h\h\hwe ask the questions.
Dialogue: 0,1:09:21.97,1:09:23.97,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}\h\hIt's like the French\Nproduction of Anne Frank.
Dialogue: 0,1:09:23.98,1:09:25.72,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}"She's upstairs!"
Dialogue: 0,1:09:26.71,1:09:28.71,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}And we have a German pope now.
Dialogue: 0,1:09:28.71,1:09:29.71,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}How do you get a German Pope?
Dialogue: 0,1:09:29.72,1:09:30.72,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}Well, it's a tough gig.
Dialogue: 0,1:09:30.72,1:09:33.26,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}\h\h\hThey don't retire the\Njersey like Magic Johnson.
Dialogue: 0,1:09:33.25,1:09:35.25,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}You stay in the chair\N\hto the bitter end.
Dialogue: 0,1:09:35.75,1:09:36.25,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}Remember John Paul II?
Dialogue: 0,1:09:36.26,1:09:38.97,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}\h\h\h\h\h\h\hIt was like,\N(imitating Latin language).
Dialogue: 0,1:09:49.97,1:09:51.40,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}We're lucky he didn't\N\h\h\h\hhave dementia
Dialogue: 0,1:09:51.40,1:09:56.34,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}in the Yankee Stadium, going,\N\h\h"Everybody gets pudding.
Dialogue: 0,1:09:56.34,1:09:59.34,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}"Chocolate pudding,\Nchocolate pudding."
Dialogue: 0,1:10:00.85,1:10:02.36,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}And when the pope dies,
Dialogue: 0,1:10:02.35,1:10:04.85,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}the Vatican finds out you're\N\hdead the old-fashioned way.
Dialogue: 0,1:10:04.85,1:10:07.35,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}They have a guy come with a\Nsilver hammer, not Maxwell,
Dialogue: 0,1:10:07.35,1:10:09.35,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}\h\h\hbut he comes and\Nhe basically comes in.
Dialogue: 0,1:10:09.35,1:10:10.85,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}He basically comes in\N\h\h\hand goes, pfft
Dialogue: 0,1:10:10.86,1:10:12.03,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}and if the Pope goes, "Ah!"
Dialogue: 0,1:10:12.02,1:10:12.62,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(254,432)}One more week!
Dialogue: 0,1:10:12.62,1:10:14.19,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}He's got another week!
Dialogue: 0,1:10:15.56,1:10:17.39,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}And the moment the pope dies,
Dialogue: 0,1:10:17.40,1:10:18.91,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}they take him through\NSt. Peter's Basilica
Dialogue: 0,1:10:18.90,1:10:22.07,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}and 50,000 cell phones are\N\hlike (imitates clicking).
Dialogue: 0,1:10:22.07,1:10:24.74,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}\hAnd I'm sure that\Nwas his last wish.
Dialogue: 0,1:10:24.74,1:10:28.31,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}"When I die, I want to\N\h\hbe a screen saver."
Dialogue: 0,1:10:29.68,1:10:31.19,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}And then what happens?
Dialogue: 0,1:10:31.18,1:10:34.18,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}The College of Cardinals, they\N\hall go into a small dark room
Dialogue: 0,1:10:34.18,1:10:35.68,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}and the only thing that\N\h\hcomes out is smoke.
Dialogue: 0,1:10:35.68,1:10:39.85,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}\h\hAnd I'm going, "What\Nare you doing in there?"
Dialogue: 0,1:10:39.85,1:10:41.72,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}And I believe they have\N\h\hda Vinci's hookah.
Dialogue: 0,1:10:41.72,1:10:45.22,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}\hAnd they're inside getting a\Nlittle loaded, going (inhales).
Dialogue: 0,1:10:45.22,1:10:46.99,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}"I got a crazy idea.
Dialogue: 0,1:10:48.03,1:10:49.03,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}"No, no, no, wait wait wait!
Dialogue: 0,1:10:49.03,1:10:50.53,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}"Wait, listen, this is crazy.
Dialogue: 0,1:10:50.53,1:10:52.03,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(280,432)}"No, wait!
Dialogue: 0,1:10:52.03,1:10:53.53,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}\h\h"The last pope\Nwas Polish, right?
Dialogue: 0,1:10:53.53,1:10:54.53,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}\h"Yeah, no, wait,\Nthis is a good one!
Dialogue: 0,1:10:54.53,1:10:57.03,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}"No wait, hold on.\N\h\hHow about this?
Dialogue: 0,1:10:57.04,1:10:58.55,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}"No, wait, this is crazy.
Dialogue: 0,1:10:58.54,1:10:59.54,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}"How about this?
Dialogue: 0,1:10:59.54,1:11:02.01,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(293,432)}"A Nazi!\N(laughs)
Dialogue: 0,1:11:02.01,1:11:03.84,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}"No, no, Hitler Youth.
Dialogue: 0,1:11:03.84,1:11:05.84,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}"It's like Boy Scouts\N\h\h\hwith artillery.
Dialogue: 0,1:11:05.84,1:11:06.84,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(267,432)}"It's great!
Dialogue: 0,1:11:06.85,1:11:08.36,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}"It'll scare the shit\N\h\hout of the Jews.
Dialogue: 0,1:11:08.35,1:11:09.88,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}"They'll be like, 'Oy!'"
Dialogue: 0,1:11:10.88,1:11:13.05,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}And I was hoping, rather\N\h\h\hthan a German pope,
Dialogue: 0,1:11:13.05,1:11:14.05,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}they would do something cool
Dialogue: 0,1:11:14.05,1:11:16.05,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(137,432)}like a Latin American pope, man.
Dialogue: 0,1:11:16.05,1:11:18.86,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}\h\hThat would have been\Ncool, like Pope Enrique.
Dialogue: 0,1:11:18.86,1:11:19.92,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}(audience laughing)
Dialogue: 0,1:11:19.93,1:11:21.44,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(319,432)}Yeah!
Dialogue: 0,1:11:21.43,1:11:23.43,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}That would be cool and he'd\N\hhave the cool pope mobile
Dialogue: 0,1:11:23.43,1:11:25.93,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}like, "Ave Maria!
Dialogue: 0,1:11:25.93,1:11:28.93,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(254,432)}"Check it out!"\N\h\h(scatting)
Dialogue: 0,1:11:28.93,1:11:29.93,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}Or a Brazilian pope,
Dialogue: 0,1:11:29.94,1:11:31.45,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}'cause then you could\N\hhave the samba nuns
Dialogue: 0,1:11:31.44,1:11:34.44,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}\h\h\h\hin the thongs going,\N"Come on back to the church.
Dialogue: 0,1:11:34.44,1:11:35.94,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}"Come on back to the church.
Dialogue: 0,1:11:36.44,1:11:37.94,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}\h\h"You know you want to\Ncome back to the church.
Dialogue: 0,1:11:37.94,1:11:39.44,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}"Come on back to the church."
Dialogue: 0,1:11:39.44,1:11:41.45,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}I'm sure the kids would\Ngo, "Fuck the internet!
Dialogue: 0,1:11:41.45,1:11:42.78,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}"I'm going back to church."
Dialogue: 0,1:11:44.85,1:11:45.92,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(254,432)}But it's weird.
Dialogue: 0,1:11:45.92,1:11:49.42,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}\h\h\h\h\h\hThe Vatican and\Nhomosexuality, oil, water.
Dialogue: 0,1:11:49.92,1:11:50.42,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}The pope is always,
Dialogue: 0,1:11:50.42,1:11:52.42,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}"Homosexuality is an\N\h\h\h\habomination."
Dialogue: 0,1:11:52.42,1:11:53.42,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(293,432)}Time out.
Dialogue: 0,1:11:53.43,1:11:53.93,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}You're the pope?
Dialogue: 0,1:11:53.93,1:11:55.44,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(306,432)}"Yes."
Dialogue: 0,1:11:55.43,1:11:57.93,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}You're dressed like Freddy\N\h\hMercury's stunt double.
Dialogue: 0,1:11:57.93,1:11:59.93,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}(audience laughing)
Dialogue: 0,1:11:59.93,1:12:00.93,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}Your purse is on fire
Dialogue: 0,1:12:00.93,1:12:02.93,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}and you're surrounded\Nby hundreds of boys.
Dialogue: 0,1:12:02.94,1:12:07.45,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(137,432)}And you've had kind of a problem\N\h\h\h\hin the after-school area.
Dialogue: 0,1:12:07.44,1:12:08.94,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}\h\hAnd why is there a\Nproblem with pedophilia
Dialogue: 0,1:12:08.94,1:12:09.94,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}in the Catholic Church?
Dialogue: 0,1:12:09.94,1:12:10.94,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}Well, it's a big deal.
Dialogue: 0,1:12:10.94,1:12:12.91,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}You become a priest,\N\h\h\h\hretire this.
Dialogue: 0,1:12:12.91,1:12:15.91,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}And once a week, we're gonna\N\hput you in a small dark box
Dialogue: 0,1:12:15.91,1:12:19.42,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}and people are gonna tell you\N\htheir nastiest sexual shit.
Dialogue: 0,1:12:20.75,1:12:23.12,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}"Bless me, Father,\Nfor I have sinned."
Dialogue: 0,1:12:23.12,1:12:24.62,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(267,432)}Yes, my son?
Dialogue: 0,1:12:24.62,1:12:27.62,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}"Last night I had sex with\N\h\h\h\h\h\htwo Thai twins,
Dialogue: 0,1:12:27.63,1:12:33.64,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}"a Slip 'N Slide, a diving\N\h\h\hhelmet, and a ferret.
Dialogue: 0,1:12:36.64,1:12:39.01,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}Could you say that slower,\N\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hmy son?
Dialogue: 0,1:12:39.00,1:12:40.07,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}(audience laughing)
Dialogue: 0,1:12:40.07,1:12:41.57,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}And I believe the Vatican's\N\h\hgonna come out one day
Dialogue: 0,1:12:41.57,1:12:43.11,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}and come out big.
Dialogue: 0,1:12:43.11,1:12:45.11,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}It's gonna be (singing\N\hin foreign language).
Dialogue: 0,1:12:48.11,1:12:50.11,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}♪ One secular sensation ♪
Dialogue: 0,1:12:50.12,1:12:52.13,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}♪ All the folks you meet ♪
Dialogue: 0,1:12:52.12,1:12:53.62,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}♪ Da da da da da da ♪
Dialogue: 0,1:12:53.62,1:12:56.12,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}♪ One singular salvation ♪
Dialogue: 0,1:12:56.62,1:12:58.22,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}♪ Every word on the street ♪
Dialogue: 0,1:12:58.22,1:13:00.56,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}♪ Da da da da da da ♪
Dialogue: 0,1:13:00.56,1:13:03.36,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}And there still will be\Nthe evangelicals going,
Dialogue: 0,1:13:03.36,1:13:04.63,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}"Homosexuality is a sickness."
Dialogue: 0,1:13:04.63,1:13:07.13,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}And the same reverend will\N\h\hbe caught buying crack
Dialogue: 0,1:13:07.13,1:13:09.13,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}from a gay prostitute going,
Dialogue: 0,1:13:09.13,1:13:11.14,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}"We were just playing\N\h\h\htummy swords."
Dialogue: 0,1:13:12.64,1:13:13.34,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}And then he'll deny it going,
Dialogue: 0,1:13:13.34,1:13:15.91,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}"I did not perform a\N\h\hhomosexual act."
Dialogue: 0,1:13:15.91,1:13:17.91,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hNo, you didn't.\NElton John's a homosexual act.
Dialogue: 0,1:13:17.91,1:13:19.78,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}You just blew that guy.\N\h\h\h\h\h\hIt's okay.
Dialogue: 0,1:13:21.28,1:13:23.28,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}And this reverend went to\Nrehab for homosexuality.
Dialogue: 0,1:13:23.28,1:13:25.28,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}I'm going, "I was in rehab.
Dialogue: 0,1:13:25.28,1:13:27.28,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}"I didn't see that wing."
Dialogue: 0,1:13:27.29,1:13:30.30,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}\h\h\h\h\hThere was no\Ncockenders in my rehab.
Dialogue: 0,1:13:30.29,1:13:32.29,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}And is homosexuality a\Npreexisting condition?
Dialogue: 0,1:13:32.29,1:13:33.79,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(254,432)}What the fuck?
Dialogue: 0,1:13:33.79,1:13:36.29,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}And the other people that come\N\h\hout against the whole thing
Dialogue: 0,1:13:36.30,1:13:37.30,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}are the Mormons.
Dialogue: 0,1:13:37.30,1:13:38.81,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}\hThey came out against\Ngay marriage big time.
Dialogue: 0,1:13:38.80,1:13:41.30,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}\h\hAnd with gay marriage, you\Ncouldn't even say gay marriage.
Dialogue: 0,1:13:41.30,1:13:43.30,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}In California you couldn't\N\h\h\hcall it gay marriage.
Dialogue: 0,1:13:43.30,1:13:44.30,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(137,432)}It was like, what do we call it?
Dialogue: 0,1:13:44.30,1:13:46.30,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}\h\h"We'll call it\Nsame-sex marriage."
Dialogue: 0,1:13:46.31,1:13:47.31,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}And people who have been\N\hmarried for a long time
Dialogue: 0,1:13:47.31,1:13:48.82,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}are going, "That's a little\N\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hredundant.
Dialogue: 0,1:13:48.81,1:13:50.81,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}\hIf you've been married a long\Ntime, it's always the same sex.
Dialogue: 0,1:13:51.31,1:13:52.81,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}Shut the fuck up.
Dialogue: 0,1:13:53.81,1:13:54.81,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(319,432)}What?
Dialogue: 0,1:13:55.81,1:13:57.31,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}\h\h\hAnd then they said,\N"We'll call it a union."
Dialogue: 0,1:13:57.32,1:13:58.83,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}Then the union guys\N\hget pissed going,
Dialogue: 0,1:13:58.82,1:14:00.82,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}"It's not a fucking union.
Dialogue: 0,1:14:01.82,1:14:04.89,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}"It's not local cocksuckers\N\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hnumber 69."
Dialogue: 0,1:14:07.09,1:14:09.66,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(137,432)}\h\h\h\hAnd you're going, "Wait a\Nminute, Canada has gay marriage.
Dialogue: 0,1:14:09.66,1:14:11.66,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}\h\h\h"Do you want all the gay\Npeople to immigrate to Canada?
Dialogue: 0,1:14:11.66,1:14:14.16,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}\h\h\h"Then they'll win figure\Nskating for the next 200 years!
Dialogue: 0,1:14:14.17,1:14:14.68,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(319,432)}"No!
Dialogue: 0,1:14:16.17,1:14:17.67,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}"They're already the nicest\N\h\h\hpeople on the planet.
Dialogue: 0,1:14:17.67,1:14:19.17,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}"Do you want them to\Nbe the best dressed?
Dialogue: 0,1:14:19.17,1:14:20.67,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}"That's bullshit!"
Dialogue: 0,1:14:21.17,1:14:22.37,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}And the whole thing
Dialogue: 0,1:14:22.37,1:14:23.87,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}and we talked briefly\N\habout this before.
Dialogue: 0,1:14:23.88,1:14:25.89,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}The other people that come\N\hout against gay marriage
Dialogue: 0,1:14:25.88,1:14:27.38,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}\h\h\hwere the Mormons.\NBasically, the Mormons,
Dialogue: 0,1:14:27.38,1:14:28.88,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}the people that used\N\h\h\hto do polygamy.
Dialogue: 0,1:14:28.88,1:14:30.38,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}They used to perfect polygamy.
Dialogue: 0,1:14:30.38,1:14:33.35,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}\h\hA Mormon giving marital\Nadvice is like the Octomom
Dialogue: 0,1:14:33.35,1:14:35.89,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}\hrunning a Planned\NParenthood clinic.
Dialogue: 0,1:14:36.89,1:14:38.39,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}\h\h\hAnd if the answer\Nto "Who's your daddy?"
Dialogue: 0,1:14:38.39,1:14:41.29,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}\h\h\his multiple choice,\Ncome with me, my friend.
Dialogue: 0,1:14:42.29,1:14:44.06,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}And who thought polygamy\N\h\h\h\hwas a great idea?
Dialogue: 0,1:14:44.06,1:14:46.06,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}Who got married and went,
Dialogue: 0,1:14:46.06,1:14:48.57,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}\h\h"My one marriage\Nisn't going so well.
Dialogue: 0,1:14:48.57,1:14:50.07,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}"I'd like to double down."
Dialogue: 0,1:14:51.57,1:14:53.07,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(254,432)}Fuck off, man!
Dialogue: 0,1:14:53.07,1:14:55.07,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}And why would you want\Nanother strong opinion?
Dialogue: 0,1:14:55.07,1:14:57.57,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}\h\hEven if you marry a\Ndeaf and a blind girl,
Dialogue: 0,1:14:57.58,1:14:59.59,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}they will fucking communicate!
Dialogue: 0,1:14:59.58,1:15:03.35,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}\hAnd they will work out\Nthat you are the asshole.
Dialogue: 0,1:15:03.35,1:15:04.62,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}In marriage, I've learned this.
Dialogue: 0,1:15:04.62,1:15:07.18,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}\h\h\h\h\hIn marriage, there's\Npenalties for early withdrawal
Dialogue: 0,1:15:07.19,1:15:08.20,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}and deposit in another account.
Dialogue: 0,1:15:08.69,1:15:09.65,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(254,432)}Remember that.
Dialogue: 0,1:15:11.09,1:15:12.99,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(137,432)}And alimony doesn't stop people.
Dialogue: 0,1:15:12.99,1:15:15.49,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}\h\h\h\hAlimony, look at a guy.\NYou could call it all the money
Dialogue: 0,1:15:15.49,1:15:17.49,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}\h\h\h\hand guys would still be\Ngoing, "I'm in, let's do this."
Dialogue: 0,1:15:17.50,1:15:18.51,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}Look at Donald Trump.
Dialogue: 0,1:15:18.50,1:15:20.00,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}He's always going,\N"This one's broken.
Dialogue: 0,1:15:20.00,1:15:22.00,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}"Bring me another one."\N\h\h\h\h\h\h\h(laughs)
Dialogue: 0,1:15:22.00,1:15:24.50,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}\h\hBut maybe there should be a\Nthree-strike law with marriage.
Dialogue: 0,1:15:24.50,1:15:26.50,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}\h\h\h\hIf you want to get\Nmarried for a fourth time,
Dialogue: 0,1:15:26.51,1:15:28.02,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(137,432)}you have to give up a body part.
Dialogue: 0,1:15:28.01,1:15:29.51,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}\hThen that might\Nslow people down.
Dialogue: 0,1:15:29.51,1:15:31.48,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}\h\hLike, Bob, how many\Ntimes you been married?
Dialogue: 0,1:15:31.48,1:15:32.44,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}"Four times, Robin."
Dialogue: 0,1:15:33.45,1:15:35.32,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}Ted, how many times\N\hyou been married?
Dialogue: 0,1:15:35.31,1:15:37.68,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(280,432)}(garbling)
Dialogue: 0,1:15:38.75,1:15:40.75,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}\hLarry King would just be\Na fucking head on a stick.
Dialogue: 0,1:15:40.75,1:15:44.35,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}(audience laughing)
Dialogue: 0,1:15:44.36,1:15:45.87,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(319,432)}And!
Dialogue: 0,1:15:47.76,1:15:50.16,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}\h\hYou talk about intelligent\Ndesign, look at the human body.
Dialogue: 0,1:15:50.16,1:15:52.66,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}It's waste-processing plant\N\h\hnear a recreation area.
Dialogue: 0,1:15:52.66,1:15:54.67,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}How intelligent is that?
Dialogue: 0,1:15:54.67,1:15:56.17,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}And they say the platypus
Dialogue: 0,1:15:56.17,1:15:57.67,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}was an animal designed\N\h\h\h\h\hby committee.
Dialogue: 0,1:15:57.67,1:15:59.67,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}\h\hWas the human body\Ndesigned by committee?
Dialogue: 0,1:15:59.67,1:16:00.67,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}Was there a group of\Nguys who designed it?
Dialogue: 0,1:16:01.17,1:16:02.67,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}Was the guy going, "Tom,\Ndo you have those designs
Dialogue: 0,1:16:02.67,1:16:04.17,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}\h\h\h\hfor the human\Nreproductive system?
Dialogue: 0,1:16:04.18,1:16:06.39,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}\h"I do, Ted. Let's show\Nyou what we came up with.
Dialogue: 0,1:16:06.38,1:16:08.81,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}\h\h\h"Normally with the mammal\Npenis, we have the retractable.
Dialogue: 0,1:16:08.81,1:16:10.88,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}"We decided to something\Ndifferent for the mammal,
Dialogue: 0,1:16:10.88,1:16:12.38,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}"the male penis for the human.
Dialogue: 0,1:16:12.38,1:16:13.38,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}"We call it the collapsible.
Dialogue: 0,1:16:13.39,1:16:14.36,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(267,432)}"Kind of fun.
Dialogue: 0,1:16:15.35,1:16:17.35,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}"And look at this, Murray\N\h\hcame up with the idea
Dialogue: 0,1:16:17.36,1:16:18.37,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}\h\h"of making the\Ncovering optional.
Dialogue: 0,1:16:18.36,1:16:20.59,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}"Thank you, Murray.\N\h\h\h\hWay to go.
Dialogue: 0,1:16:20.59,1:16:21.39,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}"When we take the covering off,
Dialogue: 0,1:16:21.39,1:16:22.89,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}"it's a little sharp,\N\h\ha little pointy.
Dialogue: 0,1:16:22.89,1:16:24.90,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}\h\h"We need something on\Nthe top to soften it up.
Dialogue: 0,1:16:24.90,1:16:25.93,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}"Bob, what was your idea?"
Dialogue: 0,1:16:25.93,1:16:26.93,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}"A mushroom cap."
Dialogue: 0,1:16:26.93,1:16:27.83,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}"Thank you, Bob.
Dialogue: 0,1:16:28.90,1:16:31.40,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}"We put the mushroom cap on the\N\h\htop and it's kind of a tool
Dialogue: 0,1:16:31.40,1:16:33.40,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}"'cause when it's retracted it\Nlooks like a little toad stool
Dialogue: 0,1:16:33.41,1:16:36.45,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}"and when it's erect like a\Nlittle soldier, thank you.
Dialogue: 0,1:16:36.44,1:16:38.04,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}"And Tim put a piece of\N\hstring up at the top.
Dialogue: 0,1:16:38.04,1:16:40.81,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}"Thank you, Tim. I guess to\N\htune it. Thank you, Tim.
Dialogue: 0,1:16:40.81,1:16:42.58,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}\h"And we run the semen out\Nthe top and urine through.
Dialogue: 0,1:16:42.58,1:16:45.42,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(137,432)}We also run urine through there.\N\h\h\h\hWe call it 'multitasking'
Dialogue: 0,1:16:45.42,1:16:46.92,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}"or 'coming' and 'going.'
Dialogue: 0,1:16:48.49,1:16:49.49,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}"Kind of a fun concept.
Dialogue: 0,1:16:49.49,1:16:52.72,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}"And initially, we just\N\hhad the sperm stored
Dialogue: 0,1:16:52.72,1:16:53.72,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}"inside the penis itself
Dialogue: 0,1:16:53.73,1:16:56.74,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}"like a toothpaste tube,\N\h\h\h\h\hpfft, gone so.
Dialogue: 0,1:16:56.73,1:16:58.73,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}\h\h"We needed something to\Nstore it in and produce it.
Dialogue: 0,1:16:58.73,1:17:00.23,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}"What was your idea, Carl?"
Dialogue: 0,1:17:00.23,1:17:01.23,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(306,432)}"Nuts."
Dialogue: 0,1:17:01.23,1:17:01.77,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}"Thank you, Carl."
Dialogue: 0,1:17:02.77,1:17:03.77,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}"Initially we used walnuts.
Dialogue: 0,1:17:03.77,1:17:05.77,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}\h"We've had good luck\Nwith those in the past.
Dialogue: 0,1:17:05.77,1:17:06.77,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}"And the human males are going,
Dialogue: 0,1:17:06.77,1:17:08.24,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}"'We can't sneak up\N\hon the females.'"
Dialogue: 0,1:17:08.24,1:17:08.84,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}"What do you mean?"
Dialogue: 0,1:17:09.41,1:17:10.91,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(280,432)}\h"Listen."\N(clucking)
Dialogue: 0,1:17:10.91,1:17:12.91,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}(audience laughing)
Dialogue: 0,1:17:12.91,1:17:14.91,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}"Got it. Forget the coconuts.
Dialogue: 0,1:17:14.91,1:17:15.91,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}"Let's try something different.
Dialogue: 0,1:17:17.42,1:17:19.33,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}\h\h"Bob, what was your\Nidea to replace them?"
Dialogue: 0,1:17:19.32,1:17:20.22,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(293,432)}"Balls."
Dialogue: 0,1:17:20.22,1:17:21.22,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}"Balls, that's it.
Dialogue: 0,1:17:21.22,1:17:23.72,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}"Who doesn't like balls?\N\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hWhat fun.
Dialogue: 0,1:17:23.72,1:17:24.72,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}"Initially we used three balls,
Dialogue: 0,1:17:24.72,1:17:26.72,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}\h\h"and here's some of the\Ntests with the three balls.
Dialogue: 0,1:17:26.73,1:17:28.74,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}"They were going everywhere.
Dialogue: 0,1:17:28.73,1:17:29.39,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}\h"The male was, like,\Nplaying with the balls,
Dialogue: 0,1:17:29.39,1:17:30.93,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}"playing with the balls.
Dialogue: 0,1:17:30.93,1:17:32.40,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}"And we went, 'We'd better\N\h\h\hput those in a bag.'
Dialogue: 0,1:17:32.40,1:17:35.90,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}"So we decided to make a bag
Dialogue: 0,1:17:35.90,1:17:37.67,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}"and the only thing\Nwe had lying around
Dialogue: 0,1:17:37.67,1:17:40.47,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(137,432)}\h\h\h"was some old turkey neck.\NI said, 'Use it, let's try it.'"
Dialogue: 0,1:17:40.47,1:17:42.24,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}(audience laughing)
Dialogue: 0,1:17:42.24,1:17:43.24,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(319,432)}"So.
Dialogue: 0,1:17:45.51,1:17:48.48,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}"We put the balls in the\N\h\hturkey neck and, um.
Dialogue: 0,1:17:50.98,1:17:51.98,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(267,432)}"It's ugly."
Dialogue: 0,1:17:52.48,1:17:53.98,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}(audience laughing)
Dialogue: 0,1:17:53.99,1:17:55.00,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(267,432)}"I think..."
Dialogue: 0,1:17:55.92,1:17:57.35,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}(audience laughing\N\h\hand applauding)
Dialogue: 0,1:17:57.36,1:17:58.37,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(306,432)}"Yeah.
Dialogue: 0,1:17:59.36,1:18:00.56,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}"Next to the asshole,
Dialogue: 0,1:18:00.56,1:18:03.33,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}"it's one of the uglier\Nthings we made, really.
Dialogue: 0,1:18:03.33,1:18:04.83,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}"And we got some negative\Nfeedback from the females
Dialogue: 0,1:18:04.83,1:18:06.30,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}\h\h\h\h\h"who were going,\N'We're not going down there
Dialogue: 0,1:18:06.30,1:18:07.23,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}"'unless you cover that up!'
Dialogue: 0,1:18:07.23,1:18:08.17,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(306,432)}"Okay!
Dialogue: 0,1:18:08.17,1:18:10.63,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}"So we put some garnish\N\h\h\h\haround it and,
Dialogue: 0,1:18:12.14,1:18:13.64,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}"initially we made the\N\h\h\h\hhair straight.
Dialogue: 0,1:18:13.64,1:18:14.44,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}"The females, 'My eyes!'
Dialogue: 0,1:18:14.44,1:18:15.61,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(306,432)}"Okay.
Dialogue: 0,1:18:15.61,1:18:17.67,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}"Curly, we put curly hair.
Dialogue: 0,1:18:17.68,1:18:19.69,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}"And initially we put the\N\h\h\h\hhair everywhere,
Dialogue: 0,1:18:19.68,1:18:20.68,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}"even the top of the penis
Dialogue: 0,1:18:20.68,1:18:23.18,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}"and it looked like my\N\h\h\h\h\h\hUncle Phil.
Dialogue: 0,1:18:23.18,1:18:24.68,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}"Like, hey, how are you?
Dialogue: 0,1:18:26.69,1:18:27.69,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}"So we just went with\N\h\ha topiary thing,
Dialogue: 0,1:18:27.69,1:18:29.20,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}"which was kind of fun.
Dialogue: 0,1:18:29.19,1:18:31.69,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}"And then the females went,\N'We'll go down there now.'
Dialogue: 0,1:18:31.69,1:18:33.69,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}Thank you, ladies, thank you.
Dialogue: 0,1:18:33.69,1:18:35.69,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}"Which is cool because you\Ncan start the penis orally,
Dialogue: 0,1:18:36.19,1:18:37.19,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(280,432)}"thank you.
Dialogue: 0,1:18:37.20,1:18:41.21,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}"Manually, thank you, Manuel,\N\h\h\h\hfor finding that out.
Dialogue: 0,1:18:41.20,1:18:43.70,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}"Finger in the ass,\NTed found that out.
Dialogue: 0,1:18:43.70,1:18:45.70,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}"He said it was an accident.
Dialogue: 0,1:18:47.71,1:18:48.22,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(293,432)}"Kidder.
Dialogue: 0,1:18:49.71,1:18:51.71,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}\h\h"And if you play with the\Nballs, the penis likes that.
Dialogue: 0,1:18:51.71,1:18:52.71,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}"It's kind of fun.
Dialogue: 0,1:18:52.71,1:18:55.21,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}"But we did find out a negative\N\h\h\h\hthing about the balls.
Dialogue: 0,1:18:55.21,1:18:57.71,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}"If you hit them really hard,
Dialogue: 0,1:18:57.72,1:18:59.73,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}"it's a total system reset."
Dialogue: 0,1:18:59.72,1:19:01.52,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}(audience laughing)
Dialogue: 0,1:19:01.52,1:19:02.29,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(280,432)}"It's like.
Dialogue: 0,1:19:04.29,1:19:06.29,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}"If it was a slot machine,\N\h\h\h\h\h\h\hit would pay.
Dialogue: 0,1:19:06.29,1:19:07.59,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}"It was kind of rough.
Dialogue: 0,1:19:07.59,1:19:09.66,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}\h"But that's essentially\Nthe design for the penis.
Dialogue: 0,1:19:09.66,1:19:12.16,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}"Initially, we gave the\N\hmale about 800 sperms
Dialogue: 0,1:19:12.16,1:19:14.40,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}"and those were gone\N\h\hin a millisecond.
Dialogue: 0,1:19:14.40,1:19:16.40,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}\h"And now we give him\Neight to nine billion,
Dialogue: 0,1:19:16.40,1:19:18.37,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}"and he shoots them everywhere.
Dialogue: 0,1:19:18.37,1:19:20.40,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(254,432)}"Tits, drapes.
Dialogue: 0,1:19:20.41,1:19:21.41,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}"We found some on the ceiling.
Dialogue: 0,1:19:21.41,1:19:23.42,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}"Those are the overachievers.
Dialogue: 0,1:19:24.41,1:19:25.91,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}"We hope some make\N\hit to the vagina.
Dialogue: 0,1:19:25.91,1:19:26.91,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}"In terms of the vagina,
Dialogue: 0,1:19:26.91,1:19:28.91,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}"Carl's in charge of the\N\h\h\h\h\hvagina project.
Dialogue: 0,1:19:28.91,1:19:30.41,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}"Carl, what did you\N\h\hcome up with?"
Dialogue: 0,1:19:30.42,1:19:31.93,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}"Well, normally with the\N\h\h\h\h\hmammal vagina,
Dialogue: 0,1:19:31.92,1:19:33.42,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}"you have the genital\N\h\hslit or opening.
Dialogue: 0,1:19:33.42,1:19:34.92,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}"We decided to accessorize it."
Dialogue: 0,1:19:34.92,1:19:36.92,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}"What did you accessorize\N\h\h\h\h\hit with, Carl?"
Dialogue: 0,1:19:36.92,1:19:37.92,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(280,432)}"Curtains.
Dialogue: 0,1:19:39.92,1:19:41.93,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}"We just thought it makes\N\h\hit less of an opening
Dialogue: 0,1:19:41.93,1:19:42.93,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}"and more of a show, really.
Dialogue: 0,1:19:42.93,1:19:43.43,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(293,432)}"Kind of.
Dialogue: 0,1:19:44.40,1:19:45.94,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}\h"We had some old\Nlips lying around.
Dialogue: 0,1:19:45.93,1:19:48.43,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}"We said, try those!\N\hLet's give it a go.
Dialogue: 0,1:19:48.43,1:19:50.93,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}"And initially we made\N\h\hit horizontal and,
Dialogue: 0,1:19:51.94,1:19:54.20,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}"the damn thing talked."
Dialogue: 0,1:19:54.21,1:19:56.85,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}(audience laughing)
Dialogue: 0,1:19:57.91,1:19:59.41,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(267,432)}{\i1}"It was weird.
Dialogue: 0,1:20:01.41,1:20:02.88,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}\h\h\h"And the first time it\Ntalked, the males were going,
Dialogue: 0,1:20:02.88,1:20:04.95,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}"'I'm not going down\N\hthere if it talks!
Dialogue: 0,1:20:05.95,1:20:07.42,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}"'I've already got one\N\h\h\hopinion up here!
Dialogue: 0,1:20:07.42,1:20:08.92,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}"'I don't need a second one!'
Dialogue: 0,1:20:11.72,1:20:15.56,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}"So now we made it vertical\N\h\hand now it just farts.
Dialogue: 0,1:20:15.56,1:20:17.53,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}\h\h"And the first time it\Nwent, it was like (neighs).
Dialogue: 0,1:20:17.53,1:20:17.99,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}"Easy, big fella.
Dialogue: 0,1:20:19.56,1:20:21.57,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}"And the asshole got offended,\N\h\h\hsaying, 'That's my job!'
Dialogue: 0,1:20:21.57,1:20:23.13,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(254,432)}"Okay, hold on.
Dialogue: 0,1:20:23.64,1:20:24.64,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}"Yours will smell.
Dialogue: 0,1:20:24.64,1:20:25.65,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}"Not to worry, not to worry.
Dialogue: 0,1:20:26.60,1:20:28.10,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}"But we needed something\N\h\h\h\hkind of special.
Dialogue: 0,1:20:28.11,1:20:30.12,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}"One last little thing\Nthat would really work.
Dialogue: 0,1:20:30.11,1:20:32.11,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}\h\h"And Clint came up\Nwith a brilliant idea.
Dialogue: 0,1:20:33.48,1:20:35.48,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}\h"I think we're gonna name\Nit, it's kind of wonderful.
Dialogue: 0,1:20:35.48,1:20:36.45,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}"Clint, what was your idea?"
Dialogue: 0,1:20:36.45,1:20:37.48,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(267,432)}"A doorbell."
Dialogue: 0,1:20:37.48,1:20:37.98,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}"Thank you, Clint.
Dialogue: 0,1:20:38.98,1:20:40.48,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}"You ring the doorbell,\N\h\hthe curtains open.
Dialogue: 0,1:20:40.49,1:20:42.00,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}"It's kind of fun.
Dialogue: 0,1:20:42.49,1:20:43.49,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}"Some guys can't find it.
Dialogue: 0,1:20:43.49,1:20:45.99,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}"Others don't know when\N\h\hto stop ringing it.
Dialogue: 0,1:20:46.99,1:20:48.99,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}"But you ring the doorbell,\N\h\h\h\hthe curtains open,
Dialogue: 0,1:20:48.99,1:20:49.99,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}"the penis goes inside.
Dialogue: 0,1:20:49.99,1:20:52.00,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}"And Tom worked out\N\hsome choreography
Dialogue: 0,1:20:52.00,1:20:53.40,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}"for the balls that's\N\h\h\h\hkind of fun.
Dialogue: 0,1:20:53.40,1:20:54.40,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(254,432)}That's really.
Dialogue: 0,1:20:54.40,1:20:57.40,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}(audience laughing)
Dialogue: 0,1:21:02.24,1:21:04.24,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(137,432)}"It gets everything ready to go.
Dialogue: 0,1:21:04.24,1:21:07.24,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}\h"And the sperms fly out\Nup into the human female.
Dialogue: 0,1:21:07.25,1:21:08.22,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}"She carries the egg.
Dialogue: 0,1:21:08.21,1:21:09.28,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}"Normally we gave it,
Dialogue: 0,1:21:09.28,1:21:10.78,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}"we tried first giving\N\hthe egg to the male.
Dialogue: 0,1:21:10.78,1:21:12.78,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}"He kept losing it.\NAnd we went, fine.
Dialogue: 0,1:21:13.79,1:21:15.26,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}"We gave it to the female.\N\h\h\h\h\h\hShe carries it.
Dialogue: 0,1:21:15.25,1:21:16.59,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}"And then we thought,
Dialogue: 0,1:21:16.86,1:21:17.93,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}"the male will be in charge\N\h\hof feeding the infant.
Dialogue: 0,1:21:17.92,1:21:20.92,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}"We gave the human male\N\h\htwo basic breasts.
Dialogue: 0,1:21:20.93,1:21:24.00,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}\h\h\h"And the male is like,\N'Okay, nipples, that's all.'
Dialogue: 0,1:21:24.00,1:21:25.57,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}"We thought, the female\N\h\h\hwill be in charge
Dialogue: 0,1:21:25.56,1:21:26.56,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}"of feeding the infant too.
Dialogue: 0,1:21:26.56,1:21:28.57,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}\h\h"So we gave her six\Nbreasts like a mammal.
Dialogue: 0,1:21:28.57,1:21:31.53,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}"And the male was like.\N\h\h\h\h\h\h(laughing)
Dialogue: 0,1:21:31.54,1:21:33.51,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(137,432)}"Two hands, two tits, that's it!
Dialogue: 0,1:21:36.07,1:21:39.14,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}\h"And so the female will\Ncarry the infant to term
Dialogue: 0,1:21:39.14,1:21:42.15,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}"and it will come out\Nthrough the curtains.
Dialogue: 0,1:21:42.15,1:21:43.65,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}"And they get wide.
Dialogue: 0,1:21:44.15,1:21:46.15,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(254,432)}"Like Broadway.
Dialogue: 0,1:21:47.15,1:21:49.15,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}"And she'll also feed\N\h\h\h\h\hthe infant.
Dialogue: 0,1:21:49.15,1:21:52.39,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(137,432)}"The male will assist. (cackles)
Dialogue: 0,1:21:53.39,1:21:55.39,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}"But we do have one\Nmajor design flaw.
Dialogue: 0,1:21:55.39,1:21:57.89,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}"We've tried to wire the\N\hpenis to the conscience
Dialogue: 0,1:21:57.90,1:21:59.81,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(137,432)}"and it keeps short circuiting."
Dialogue: 0,1:21:59.80,1:22:00.86,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}(audience laughing)
Dialogue: 0,1:22:00.87,1:22:01.88,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}And it's weird too,\N\hthe whole thing.
Dialogue: 0,1:22:01.87,1:22:03.33,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}I mean, every since\NI was a little boy,
Dialogue: 0,1:22:03.33,1:22:05.90,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}it was like, the first time I\Nwas cleaning it, it went off.
Dialogue: 0,1:22:05.90,1:22:07.40,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(280,432)}I'm sorry!
Dialogue: 0,1:22:07.41,1:22:08.92,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}\h\hAnd then later on\Nit was like, breasts.
Dialogue: 0,1:22:08.91,1:22:10.91,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}Breasts, breasts! (laughs)
Dialogue: 0,1:22:10.91,1:22:13.41,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}Vagina, vagina, vagina!
Dialogue: 0,1:22:13.41,1:22:15.91,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}And by the time you\N\h\h\hget to be 58,
Dialogue: 0,1:22:15.91,1:22:18.32,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(137,432)}it gets a little more difficult.
Dialogue: 0,1:22:18.82,1:22:21.32,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}Okay, here's what you gotta do.
Dialogue: 0,1:22:21.32,1:22:23.59,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}You put a sparkler in your ass.
Dialogue: 0,1:22:25.09,1:22:27.09,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}I'll set my pubic hair on fire.
Dialogue: 0,1:22:27.59,1:22:30.09,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(137,432)}You put on a German army helmet.
Dialogue: 0,1:22:30.09,1:22:33.10,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}\h\h\hYou jump off the couch\Nyelling, "Fire in the hole!"
Dialogue: 0,1:22:35.10,1:22:36.60,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}That might work, I don't know.
Dialogue: 0,1:22:38.17,1:22:39.87,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(293,432)}And then.
Dialogue: 0,1:22:41.44,1:22:43.44,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}\h\h\hIf that doesn't work,\Nthere's always pornography.
Dialogue: 0,1:22:43.44,1:22:45.51,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}\h\h\h\hAnd the definition of\Npornography is quite simple.
Dialogue: 0,1:22:45.51,1:22:47.08,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}Erotic is using a feather,
Dialogue: 0,1:22:47.08,1:22:50.58,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}\h\h\hpornography is using the\Nentire chicken which is weird.
Dialogue: 0,1:22:50.58,1:22:51.58,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}And I've been watching\N\ha little bit of porn
Dialogue: 0,1:22:52.08,1:22:52.58,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}since I've been on the road.
Dialogue: 0,1:22:52.58,1:22:54.08,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(280,432)}"A little?"\N\hShut up.
Dialogue: 0,1:22:55.09,1:22:57.09,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}\hAnd with porn movies, they\Ndon't have coming attractions
Dialogue: 0,1:22:57.09,1:22:58.59,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}\h\h\h\h'cause if it was,\Nyou'd be like, "Oh, done.
Dialogue: 0,1:22:58.59,1:23:00.09,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}"Thank you, fine."
Dialogue: 0,1:23:00.09,1:23:02.09,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}With porn movies, when\N\hyou're watching them,
Dialogue: 0,1:23:02.09,1:23:04.59,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}\hit's basically, they're\Nan hour and a half long.
Dialogue: 0,1:23:05.10,1:23:08.37,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}And who watches an entire\N\h\h\hfucking porn movie?
Dialogue: 0,1:23:08.37,1:23:10.43,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}One guy up there going, "I do."
Dialogue: 0,1:23:11.94,1:23:13.44,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}But an entire porn, an\N\hhour and a half long.
Dialogue: 0,1:23:13.44,1:23:14.94,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}Even with fast forwarding.
Dialogue: 0,1:23:14.94,1:23:18.11,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}Fast forwarding you're like\N\h\h\h\h\h\h\h(shrieking).
Dialogue: 0,1:23:20.81,1:23:22.05,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(319,432)}What?
Dialogue: 0,1:23:23.11,1:23:23.45,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(332,432)}No!
Dialogue: 0,1:23:24.75,1:23:26.25,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}And the one thing you\Ndon't want with porn
Dialogue: 0,1:23:26.25,1:23:29.49,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}is basically slow motion,\N\h'cause it's like, "Ah!
Dialogue: 0,1:23:29.49,1:23:31.59,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(280,432)}"Pfft, ah!"
Dialogue: 0,1:23:33.19,1:23:35.76,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(254,432)}(slow groaning)
Dialogue: 0,1:23:41.47,1:23:42.54,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(254,432)}And the acting.
Dialogue: 0,1:23:42.53,1:23:44.53,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}\h\h\hThe acting in porn\Nmovies is always so bad.
Dialogue: 0,1:23:44.54,1:23:49.02,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}\h\hThere's always that one\Ngirl who's like (giggling).
Dialogue: 0,1:23:49.01,1:23:50.01,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}It's not Miss America.
Dialogue: 0,1:23:50.01,1:23:52.01,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}Stay with the dick.\NWhat are you doing?
Dialogue: 0,1:23:54.01,1:23:56.01,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}And why do they always have\N\hto have such bad actors?
Dialogue: 0,1:23:56.01,1:24:01.02,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}\hThey're always like, "I'm\Ngoing to fuck you so hard."
Dialogue: 0,1:24:01.52,1:24:04.02,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}\h\h\h\hEven my right hand is\Ngoing, "I don't believe him."
Dialogue: 0,1:24:05.52,1:24:06.52,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}But there's scripts.
Dialogue: 0,1:24:06.52,1:24:07.52,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(137,432)}There's scripts for porn movies.
Dialogue: 0,1:24:07.53,1:24:09.04,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}Somebody's writing\N\hthis stuff going,
Dialogue: 0,1:24:09.03,1:24:12.53,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}"I'm gonna fuck you so hard.
Dialogue: 0,1:24:17.04,1:24:18.04,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}"You little whore."
Dialogue: 0,1:24:18.04,1:24:19.05,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}Okay, that's it for today.
Dialogue: 0,1:24:20.04,1:24:21.84,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}And then they're on a\Nporn movie set going,
Dialogue: 0,1:24:21.84,1:24:23.11,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}"I'm gonna fuck you, line?"
Dialogue: 0,1:24:25.08,1:24:25.94,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}\h\h"Fuck you hard,\Nyou little whore."
Dialogue: 0,1:24:25.94,1:24:28.45,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}\h\h\h\h\h\h"Thank you,\NI just need a moment."
Dialogue: 0,1:24:28.45,1:24:29.45,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}And that's fucking weird too.
Dialogue: 0,1:24:29.45,1:24:31.01,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}\hAnd there's been\Nporn for centuries.
Dialogue: 0,1:24:31.02,1:24:32.46,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}Was there radio porn?
Dialogue: 0,1:24:32.45,1:24:34.92,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}Was there George Burns going,\N\h"Well, tea bag me, Gracie"?
Dialogue: 0,1:24:34.92,1:24:35.42,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(267,432)}I don't know.
Dialogue: 0,1:24:36.92,1:24:39.82,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}Did John Wayne have a Brokeback\N\h\h\hMountain moment of going,
Dialogue: 0,1:24:39.82,1:24:40.79,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}"Well, stuffy, we're going up
Dialogue: 0,1:24:40.79,1:24:43.33,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(137,432)}"the old jizzom trail right now.
Dialogue: 0,1:24:43.33,1:24:44.83,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}"Goddammit, here we go."
Dialogue: 0,1:24:44.83,1:24:45.83,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}And Walter Brennan going,
Dialogue: 0,1:24:45.83,1:24:48.83,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}"Oh, Duke, you're tearing\N\hmy ass apart! Goddamn!
Dialogue: 0,1:24:49.33,1:24:49.83,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}"I can't quit ya!
Dialogue: 0,1:24:49.83,1:24:52.04,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}"I can't goddamn quit ya!"
Dialogue: 0,1:24:52.04,1:24:53.04,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}Was Gregory Peck going,
Dialogue: 0,1:24:53.04,1:24:56.04,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}"I'm going to glaze\Nyou like a Danish."
Dialogue: 0,1:24:56.04,1:24:58.88,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}(audience laughing)
Dialogue: 0,1:24:58.88,1:25:00.24,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}Did Jimmy Stewart basically go,
Dialogue: 0,1:25:00.24,1:25:01.74,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}"Well, just play with my balls.
Dialogue: 0,1:25:01.75,1:25:03.76,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}"Just a little bit, yeah.
Dialogue: 0,1:25:03.75,1:25:05.22,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}"Just dangle the twins around.
Dialogue: 0,1:25:05.22,1:25:09.62,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}"And put a finger in my heinie\N\h\h\hif you're a friend, yeah!
Dialogue: 0,1:25:09.62,1:25:12.62,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}"Two if you're a pal, yeah."
Dialogue: 0,1:25:13.99,1:25:15.56,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}\hThere's one guy\Nwho could do porn
Dialogue: 0,1:25:15.56,1:25:17.06,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}and I think we all would watch.
Dialogue: 0,1:25:17.06,1:25:18.56,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}That guy is Chris Walken.
Dialogue: 0,1:25:18.56,1:25:19.56,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(267,432)}Oh God, yes.
Dialogue: 0,1:25:20.57,1:25:22.08,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}Oh my God, he would be amazing.
Dialogue: 0,1:25:22.07,1:25:24.00,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}Chris would be up there going,
Dialogue: 0,1:25:24.00,1:25:26.90,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}"I'm inside you.
Dialogue: 0,1:25:29.41,1:25:32.41,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}"So deep inside you now,\N\h\h\h\hfucking you now,
Dialogue: 0,1:25:32.41,1:25:36.91,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}"inside you, deep inside\N\h\h\hyou now, yes, now.
Dialogue: 0,1:25:36.91,1:25:39.92,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}"I came an hour ago."
Dialogue: 0,1:25:39.92,1:25:42.45,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}(audience laughing)
Dialogue: 0,1:25:42.45,1:25:44.52,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}And it's not bad enough\Nthey make porn movies.
Dialogue: 0,1:25:44.52,1:25:46.52,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}They make porn movies\N\h\h\h\hof my movies.
Dialogue: 0,1:25:47.03,1:25:48.03,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}They made {\i1}Goodwill Humping{\r} .
Dialogue: 0,1:25:48.03,1:25:49.54,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(280,432)}It's okay.
Dialogue: 0,1:25:50.53,1:25:53.23,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}{\i1}Wet Dreams May Come,{\r} all right.
Dialogue: 0,1:25:53.23,1:25:55.23,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}{\i1}Snatch Adams,{\r} that was scary.
Dialogue: 0,1:25:56.73,1:25:57.73,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}A clown with a strap-on.
Dialogue: 0,1:25:57.74,1:25:58.75,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(293,432)}Fuck off!
Dialogue: 0,1:25:59.74,1:26:02.24,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}You know, {\i1}Popeye{\r} ,\N\h\hI would watch.
Dialogue: 0,1:26:02.24,1:26:03.74,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}Popeye would be like,
Dialogue: 0,1:26:03.74,1:26:05.74,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}\h"Oh, God yeah, Olive\NOyl, come on now, yeah!
Dialogue: 0,1:26:06.24,1:26:08.24,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}"Blow me now, yeah.
Dialogue: 0,1:26:08.25,1:26:09.26,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}"Come on, Olive Oyl, yeah!
Dialogue: 0,1:26:09.25,1:26:12.75,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}"You got no tits and\N\ha tight box, yeah!
Dialogue: 0,1:26:12.75,1:26:13.35,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(293,432)}"Oh, God.
Dialogue: 0,1:26:13.35,1:26:16.42,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}(grunting loudly)
Dialogue: 0,1:26:19.92,1:26:21.93,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}"Oh, I creamed me spinach!
Dialogue: 0,1:26:21.93,1:26:23.43,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(306,432)}"Yeah!
Dialogue: 0,1:26:24.20,1:26:25.47,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(280,432)}Good night!
Dialogue: 0,1:26:25.46,1:26:29.73,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}(audience cheering\N\h\hand applauding)
Dialogue: 0,1:26:29.73,1:26:31.23,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(319,432)}Whoo!
Dialogue: 0,1:26:31.24,1:26:32.25,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(280,432)}Oh my God.
Dialogue: 0,1:26:35.24,1:26:39.68,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}(audience cheering\N\h\hand applauding)
Dialogue: 0,1:26:54.63,1:26:55.64,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(319,432)}Whoo!
Dialogue: 0,1:26:58.30,1:26:59.81,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(319,432)}Whoa!
Dialogue: 0,1:27:00.80,1:27:02.30,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(254,432)}Sit down quick!
Dialogue: 0,1:27:02.30,1:27:03.80,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(280,432)}Thank you.
Dialogue: 0,1:27:03.80,1:27:05.30,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(319,432)}Damn.
Dialogue: 0,1:27:05.80,1:27:06.30,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(319,432)}Phew!
Dialogue: 0,1:27:06.30,1:27:07.80,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(254,432)}Thank you, wow.
Dialogue: 0,1:27:07.81,1:27:09.32,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}This is oh, wow!
Dialogue: 0,1:27:10.31,1:27:14.81,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}(audience applauding\N\h\h\h\hand cheering)
Dialogue: 0,1:27:14.81,1:27:16.81,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}Thank you, baby!
Dialogue: 0,1:27:16.81,1:27:17.31,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(254,432)}This is weird.
Dialogue: 0,1:27:17.32,1:27:18.32,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}Right now, I feel like,
Dialogue: 0,1:27:18.32,1:27:21.33,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}"What are you gonna\Ndo now, smart ass?"
Dialogue: 0,1:27:21.32,1:27:23.82,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}You just did, no, follow that.
Dialogue: 0,1:27:23.82,1:27:24.82,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(254,432)}Good luck, boy.
Dialogue: 0,1:27:25.82,1:27:27.32,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}It's weird. Some people\N\hsay I look like Bono,
Dialogue: 0,1:27:27.33,1:27:29.84,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}\h\h\h\h\h\hand I'm going,\N"What the fuck are you on?"
Dialogue: 0,1:27:29.83,1:27:32.33,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}\h\hBut it said that Bono was\Nonstage recently in Scotland
Dialogue: 0,1:27:32.83,1:27:34.33,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}and it got very quiet\N\h\h\hlike right now.
Dialogue: 0,1:27:34.33,1:27:36.33,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}\h\hAnd he started\Nclapping his hands.
Dialogue: 0,1:27:36.33,1:27:39.34,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hAnd he said,\N"Every time I clap my hands,
Dialogue: 0,1:27:39.34,1:27:40.34,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}"a child in Africa dies."
Dialogue: 0,1:27:40.34,1:27:42.34,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}And from the back of the\N\h\h\hScottish audience,
Dialogue: 0,1:27:42.34,1:27:44.34,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}\h\hsomebody went, "Then stop\Nfucking clapping your hands!"
Dialogue: 0,1:27:44.34,1:27:48.34,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}(audience laughing\N\h\hand applauding)
Dialogue: 0,1:27:52.25,1:27:53.75,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}It's weird though.
Dialogue: 0,1:27:53.75,1:27:55.25,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}\hI want to do something\Nkind of special right now
Dialogue: 0,1:27:55.25,1:27:56.75,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}and dedicate it to\N\ha friend of mine.
Dialogue: 0,1:27:58.76,1:28:01.26,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(150,432)}A very interesting guy, Walter\N\h\h\hCronkite, incredible man.
Dialogue: 0,1:28:01.26,1:28:03.76,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}\hAnd we worked together on\Na Disney project years ago.
Dialogue: 0,1:28:03.76,1:28:06.26,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}(audience applauding\N\h\h\h\hand cheering)
Dialogue: 0,1:28:06.76,1:28:10.93,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}And he was a very eloquent\N\h\h\h\h\h\hand elegant man
Dialogue: 0,1:28:11.50,1:28:12.50,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}but Walter had another side.
Dialogue: 0,1:28:12.50,1:28:14.07,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}Basically, he liked his jokes
Dialogue: 0,1:28:14.07,1:28:16.44,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}like he liked his ocean,\N\h\h\h\h\ha little blue.
Dialogue: 0,1:28:16.44,1:28:17.94,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}So I would like to do\N\h\ha joke right now
Dialogue: 0,1:28:18.44,1:28:21.44,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}for Walter as Walter\N\h\h\hin his memory.
Dialogue: 0,1:28:21.45,1:28:25.96,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}A man and his wife\N\h\hare having sex.
Dialogue: 0,1:28:26.95,1:28:30.95,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}They're going at\Nit hot and heavy.
Dialogue: 0,1:28:30.96,1:28:33.97,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}Suddenly they hear a noise.
Dialogue: 0,1:28:34.46,1:28:38.46,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(176,432)}It's their little son Timmy\N\hstanding in the doorway.
Dialogue: 0,1:28:38.46,1:28:42.97,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}Timmy is shocked and\Nruns out of the room.
Dialogue: 0,1:28:42.97,1:28:47.97,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}\h\h\h\hThe father goes,\N"I'll go talk to Timmy."
Dialogue: 0,1:28:47.97,1:28:49.97,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(189,432)}He goes to Timmy's room.
Dialogue: 0,1:28:49.97,1:28:51.47,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}He opens the door.
Dialogue: 0,1:28:51.48,1:28:56.32,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}\hAnd little Timmy is giving\Nit hot and heavy to grandma.
Dialogue: 0,1:28:56.31,1:29:00.32,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(163,432)}The father goes, "Oh my God."
Dialogue: 0,1:29:00.32,1:29:01.75,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}And little Timmy says,
Dialogue: 0,1:29:01.75,1:29:04.82,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}"Not so funny when it's\N\hyour mother, is it?"
Dialogue: 0,1:29:04.82,1:29:06.96,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}(audience laughing)
Dialogue: 0,1:29:06.96,1:29:08.02,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(280,432)}Good night!
Dialogue: 0,1:29:08.46,1:29:10.03,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(241,432)}Thank you, D.C.!
Dialogue: 0,1:29:11.03,1:29:12.03,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(254,432)}God bless you!
Dialogue: 0,1:29:12.03,1:29:13.63,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(267,432)}{\i1}Buenas noches!
Dialogue: 0,1:29:13.63,1:29:14.80,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}The peeps in the top!
Dialogue: 0,1:29:14.80,1:29:16.17,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(280,432)}Thank you!
Dialogue: 0,1:29:16.17,1:29:17.73,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(202,432)}{\i1}May we have health care!
Dialogue: 0,1:29:17.74,1:29:18.98,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(254,432)}God bless you!
Dialogue: 0,1:29:19.40,1:29:20.47,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(228,432)}Have a good night!
Dialogue: 0,1:29:21.97,1:29:22.97,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(319,432)}Whoo!
Dialogue: 0,1:29:22.97,1:29:25.48,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(215,432)}(audience applauding\N\h\h\h\hand cheering)
Dialogue: 0,1:29:25.48,1:29:26.98,Default,,0,0,0,,{\an1\pos(332,432)}Oh!