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President Trump recently
embarked on a historic trip to

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the Middle East in search
of trade deals and alliances.

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He found both.

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But he also found something else,
something more powerful.

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He found love.

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Mom, Dad, this is Crown Prince
Mohammed bin Salman.

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And we're together now.

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Kidding, of course.

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But we are vibing.

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You are too kind.

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Habibi.

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Habibi.

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Habibi, what a word.

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But we've been having a lot
of fun in the Middle East.

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I've been having a great time.

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We've been eating a lot of meals sitting
on the floor.

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Dipping our fingers
straight into various

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goops and spreads
that I politely scrape

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under the rug and go eat at a mobile
McDonald's that you built for me.

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Isn't that right?

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Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba.

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He's loving it.

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I, of course, am a big fan
of everything that Saudi

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Arabia has to offer
from the oil to the money.

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To end of list.

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But it's been a fantastic
week in the Middle East.

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I also went to Qatar.

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Uh, the U-A-E.

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And, much like God did during
Passover, I skipped Israel.

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Oh, well.

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I bet you were happy
about that, though.

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You liked that, right?

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No comment.

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No comment.

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You don't want to say anything.

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Cancel culture.

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But I did make this trip.

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I didn't make this trip for myself.

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I want to make that clear.

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I did this for the American people.

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And, in many ways, myself.

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My... My personal enrichment.

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I did that, too.

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I did very well on this trip.

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Got a lot of cool stuff.

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Um... The Qataris gave
me a $400 million plane.

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Can you believe that?

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And people said that was
some sort of bribe.

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Not true.

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Not true.

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Because they haven't asked
for anything in return.

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Well, not yet.

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All right, so it's a pre-bribe.

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It's a pre-bribe.

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But now people are saying,

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I should really be flying
in an American plane.

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Uh, no thanks, honey.

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Have you seen what's going
on with our planes?

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The radar is down
and the screen is blank.

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Newark!

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Darling!

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What's... Where are we going?

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Where are we flying for our vacation?

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Honey, directly into the ground.

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But we just made
a big... Oh, shut up.

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But we just made a big airplane
deal with the crown prince.

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Tell them about it.

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Saudi Arabia will buy $1 billion worth of
aircraft from Boeing.

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Your funeral.

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I also met with the leader
of the UAE in Abu Dhabi.

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We like to say Abu Dhabi.

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Abu Dhabidu, like the late,
great Fred Flintstone.

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The UAE promised to invest
over a trillion dollars in the U.S.

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I love Dubai because they
do buy a lot of weapons.

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Uh, but I've had a great trip
here in the Middle East.

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It was very much a boys' trip.

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I don't think I saw a single woman.

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What's up with that, huh?

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All the time, just walking
into a room full of boys.

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Hi, boys.

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Boys again.

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The women are all hiding.

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It's like a nation of Melanias.

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Very funny, Habibi.

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There it is again.

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Habibi.

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I'm gonna look that up.

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I'm cooking.

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I'm having a great time.

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I'm just gonna say it.

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I love the Arabs.

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I love the Arabs.

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I don't want to go home.

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Let me stay.

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Uh, get me to Allah's country.

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Everyone loves me here.

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They're not allowed to not, right?

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Uh-huh.

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They have to love you.

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If not, bye-bye.

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Inshallah.

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Oh, I love that.

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I love that.

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Donald, please stay.

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Build a palace next to mine and stay.

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Oh, I sadly, I can't.

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I have to get back home.

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Luckily, we have our own little slice of
Saudi Arabia in America.

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A dry desert area filled with people who
are way too into their religion.

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We call ours Utah.

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And, uh, I do very well there.

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So, I can't stay here in the Middle East.

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In fact, you know what?

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I can't even stay in this
sketch much longer.

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Gonna have to leave.

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You know what?

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Because it's the SNL finale.

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Season 50.

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Worst one yet.

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Okay, get up.

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Go ahead, get up.

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Get out of there.

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Let me sit here.

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Yeah.

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Go with it.

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Go eat sun chips in the hallway.

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I'm here to break the fourth wall.

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Oh, it's nice here.

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With all the young pretty people.

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Hello.

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Look at her.

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Wow.

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Sevens or more.

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Sevens or more.

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Sit on the floor.

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Six and below.

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To the bleachers you go.

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That's it.

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Get over it.

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It's like a Gutfeld joke.

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Kinda rhymed, right?

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But, you know, since it's
a finale, that means after

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tonight, you won't be
seeing me here for a while.

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Well, not the fake fun version
of me that makes you smile.

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The real one will still be omnipresent.

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You can't escape me, right?

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I'm everywhere.

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Even in your dreams.

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Even in your dreams like the late,
great Freddy Krueger.

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I almost messed that one up.

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So, see you again in the fall,
if we still have a country, right?

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It's a coin toss.

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Happy summer, everyone, and live
from New York, it's Saturday Night!

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by CharadaBR

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It's Saturday Night Live!

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with...

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Watch Online Movies and Series for FREE
www.osdb.link/lm

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Featuring...

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Musical guest, Bad Bunny!

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And your host, Scarlett Johansson!

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Ladies and gentlemen, Scarlett Johansson!

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Thank you, thank you guys,
thank you very much.

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I am so excited to be hosting
the finale of season 50.

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It has been a historic season.

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I'm so proud to be a part of it.

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You know, I first hosted the
show when I was 21 years old,

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so it's crazy to be back here,
what, like, three years later?

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Man, time really flies.

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Anyway, it is so great to be
back, because as many times as

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I have stood on the stage, it
never stops feeling special.

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It's 11:30 on a Saturday,
finale of season 50.

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It's chaotic and crazy,
the whole week is hazy,

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but there's no place
that I'd rather be.

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Oh.
Oh, hey.

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Sorry, that was beautiful!

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Do you mind if I take
the next verse?

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Oh, well, it's sort of my monologue.

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Of course, no problem.

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Sometimes we play likeable characters.

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Other times we play J.D. Vance.

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It's not always funny,
we don't do it for money,

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or else Sarah would
buy better pants.

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Hey, guys, what are
you singing about?

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Great pants, by the way.

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Oh, thank you.

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La, la, la, dee dee da.

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La, la,

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sing us a song tonight.

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Cause we've made memories
every Saturday night.

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Ladies and gentlemen,
Billy Joel wrote this song.

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Oh.

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I thought Billy Joel was gonna come out.

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Oh, Mikey, so cute, so simple.

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Well, I have to be honest, I love a
singing monologue.

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Really?

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I like the ones where they take
questions from the audience.

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Oh, well, let's do both then.

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Does anyone here have a question?

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Yes, over here, I have one or two.

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Could you introduce me to a dinosaur?

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I'm sorry that I called on you.

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It's weird, but this place
is kind of like my home.

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I've been in over 300 sketches.

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And by my count, I've been in four.

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It's just our first year,
but we're glad to be here.

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Let's hear it for Joseph and Beth.

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My name isn't Beth.

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Haha, classic Beth!

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Marcelo and Devin
are friends of mine.

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Andrew and James, I hold dear.

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It's been a great season
and Sarah is leaving.

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We're all gonna miss you next year.

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Wait, what?

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00:11:07,440 --> 00:11:09,290
Did you guys hear something?

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Sing us a song, it's your monologue.

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The 50th season is through.

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It lasted forever.

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We did it together.

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And we got to spend it with you.

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It lasted forever.

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We did it together.

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And we got to spend it with you.

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Stick around,
we'll be right back!

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It's Channel 4.

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00:12:12,407 --> 00:12:14,312
Wake up for the news

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00:12:14,337 --> 00:12:16,859
because you're
watching channel 4.

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00:12:16,884 --> 00:12:21,608
New York City news,
because it is Channel 4.

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00:12:21,633 --> 00:12:23,593
It's Channel 4.

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00:12:26,783 --> 00:12:28,423
That was our weatherman, Keith.

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00:12:28,585 --> 00:12:31,505
He said that he wanted a shot to try
something new for our intro.

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00:12:31,530 --> 00:12:33,430
And well, shot taken, Keith.

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00:12:34,710 --> 00:12:35,950
Swing and a miss, folks.

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Good morning, New York.

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And thanks, as always,
for waking up with us.

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I'm Susan McGrath.

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00:12:42,865 --> 00:12:43,865
I'm Tommy Nolan.

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Our usual third wheel,
Claire Connors, is out today.

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00:12:47,236 --> 00:12:51,096
I can't legally say why, but let's just
say she gave birth to something.

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00:12:52,305 --> 00:12:55,993
But filling in for her this morning,
we have another member of our

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Channel 4 family, Denise Jones
from the Nightly News.

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00:12:59,251 --> 00:13:01,070
So happy you're here joining us,
Denise.

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00:13:01,490 --> 00:13:02,490
Thanks for having me.

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00:13:02,950 --> 00:13:05,670
All right, let's get to our top stories
coming up later this morning.

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It's a doggone miracle.

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A new layer of AstroTurf has been
installed at the Riverside Dog Park.

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00:13:13,311 --> 00:13:19,026
And later, we tip our cap a Chino to
Little Bean Coffee Shop, which donates all

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00:13:19,051 --> 00:13:21,690
their leftover pastries to a local
homeless shelter.

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00:13:22,350 --> 00:13:25,770
Well, cap a Chino, and
it's a doggone miracle.

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I love those little puns.

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00:13:28,014 --> 00:13:31,685
Yeah, they make our morning stories
a little extra fun for our early risers.

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00:13:31,710 --> 00:13:33,045
Well, that's so creative.

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00:13:33,070 --> 00:13:35,190
I mean, we don't usually do
those on the nightly news.

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00:13:36,163 --> 00:13:36,725
All right.

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00:13:36,750 --> 00:13:38,470
Well, you want to take
the next one, Denise?

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00:13:38,810 --> 00:13:39,810
Sure thing.

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00:13:40,763 --> 00:13:42,394
Next stop, the hospital.

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00:13:42,419 --> 00:13:44,496
Last night, a woman was
assaulted on the train.

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00:13:45,716 --> 00:13:46,530
Whoa.

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00:13:47,396 --> 00:13:48,605
I know, I did a pun.

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00:13:48,630 --> 00:13:49,630
Yay.

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00:13:49,710 --> 00:13:53,950
Oh, um, well, Denise, I just think that
story was a little too intense for that.

262
00:13:54,170 --> 00:13:54,990
Oh, I get it.

263
00:13:55,070 --> 00:13:57,490
You mean, the pun is only okay
when it's something like this.

264
00:13:58,270 --> 00:14:02,330
Later, we tip our cappuccino to the
woman who was assaulted on the train.

265
00:14:03,963 --> 00:14:05,090
Somehow worse.

266
00:14:06,070 --> 00:14:08,890
You know, why don't we just focus
on the lighter stories, okay?

267
00:14:10,291 --> 00:14:11,911
Life is like a box of chocolates.

268
00:14:11,936 --> 00:14:15,636
An Elmhurst candy store celebrates a
hundred years in business.

269
00:14:16,946 --> 00:14:19,066
And I'll have what she's having.

270
00:14:19,091 --> 00:14:22,085
A queen's couple dies in
an apparent murder-suicide.

271
00:14:22,611 --> 00:14:23,145
No.

272
00:14:23,171 --> 00:14:23,510
No.

273
00:14:23,950 --> 00:14:24,750
Wrong again.

274
00:14:24,926 --> 00:14:27,626
Denise, you don't have to do
the puns for the sad ones.

275
00:14:27,806 --> 00:14:28,585
Oh, okay.

276
00:14:28,610 --> 00:14:29,145
Got you.

277
00:14:29,170 --> 00:14:29,833
So like this.

278
00:14:30,710 --> 00:14:34,550
Take me to the river, if you want to see
the dead body that washed up today.

279
00:14:35,130 --> 00:14:37,247
And coming up later this hour...

280
00:14:37,988 --> 00:14:39,465
Who took his dong out?

281
00:14:39,490 --> 00:14:40,690
An Ohio teacher did.

282
00:14:42,050 --> 00:14:44,405
Denise, no more puns.

283
00:14:44,430 --> 00:14:45,650
Oh, I like doing them.

284
00:14:45,730 --> 00:14:47,050
We don't get to do them at night.

285
00:14:48,230 --> 00:14:50,090
Oh, he ate that woman.

286
00:14:50,450 --> 00:14:53,410
Stay tuned for the latest update on the
manhunt for the Englewood Cannibal.

287
00:14:54,430 --> 00:14:55,110
You know what?

288
00:14:55,190 --> 00:14:58,910
Why don't we throw it to weather so we can
take a little break from Denise over here.

289
00:14:59,030 --> 00:15:00,030
Keith?

290
00:15:00,412 --> 00:15:01,265
Thanks, Susan.

291
00:15:01,290 --> 00:15:02,670
This week, it's gonna be sunny.

292
00:15:03,169 --> 00:15:04,169
Back to you, Denise.

293
00:15:06,278 --> 00:15:07,278
That was it.

294
00:15:07,303 --> 00:15:08,303
Thanks, Keith.

295
00:15:09,165 --> 00:15:12,070
And in national news,
hasta la visa, baby.

296
00:15:12,095 --> 00:15:13,803
Another infant has been deported.

297
00:15:16,804 --> 00:15:19,665
Thankfully, we have a reporter in the
field standing by.

298
00:15:19,690 --> 00:15:21,397
Calvin, how's it going out there?

299
00:15:21,625 --> 00:15:25,065
Oh, well, it's a grim scene here at
Leventown where I want my baby back,

300
00:15:25,090 --> 00:15:26,090
baby back, baby back.

301
00:15:26,630 --> 00:15:29,730
Says this mother of a girl who was
kidnapped from a Chili's.

302
00:15:31,010 --> 00:15:32,703
Calvin, no!

303
00:15:33,890 --> 00:15:34,990
This is serious.

304
00:15:36,189 --> 00:15:37,909
Sorry, I just got inspired by Denise.

305
00:15:38,890 --> 00:15:39,890
Thank you.

306
00:15:40,050 --> 00:15:43,990
It's just so refreshing to finally see a
strong, intelligent woman behind a desk.

307
00:15:45,096 --> 00:15:47,096
I've worked here for five years.

308
00:15:48,090 --> 00:15:49,910
Ooh, uh, can I try a pun, too?

309
00:15:50,250 --> 00:15:52,650
You used to call me on my cell phone.

310
00:15:53,470 --> 00:15:56,490
It's been 12 days since any contact with
my daughter.

311
00:15:59,430 --> 00:16:00,092
No!

312
00:16:01,486 --> 00:16:04,423
Well, much like I do every
time I make love to my beautiful

313
00:16:04,448 --> 00:16:06,870
wife, I think we have no
choice but to finish early.

314
00:16:09,090 --> 00:16:10,210
Sorry, that was weird.

315
00:16:10,410 --> 00:16:11,970
Why don't you take us home there,
Keith?

316
00:16:13,850 --> 00:16:15,090
Goodbye for now.

317
00:16:15,810 --> 00:16:17,390
Channel 4 is over.

318
00:16:17,630 --> 00:16:19,590
Yes, the news is done.

319
00:16:19,970 --> 00:16:20,970
Yeah!

320
00:16:31,340 --> 00:16:32,340
Hello!

321
00:16:32,440 --> 00:16:33,440
Mom!

322
00:16:33,500 --> 00:16:33,880
Hi.

323
00:16:34,320 --> 00:16:35,396
Why do you guys look so down?

324
00:16:35,420 --> 00:16:37,860
You said the season's over and
you only did, like, two videos?

325
00:16:38,100 --> 00:16:39,800
Did, like, three, at least.

326
00:16:39,940 --> 00:16:40,460
Doesn't matter.

327
00:16:40,680 --> 00:16:42,524
It's just, with everything
going on in the news

328
00:16:42,525 --> 00:16:44,320
right now, it's just,
things feel kind of bleak.

329
00:16:44,345 --> 00:16:46,815
Yeah, I just feel like
the world is falling apart.

330
00:16:46,840 --> 00:16:48,160
Hey, you know what you guys need?

331
00:16:48,615 --> 00:16:49,295
A vacation.

332
00:16:49,320 --> 00:16:49,800
Vacation?

333
00:16:50,020 --> 00:16:50,780
We have work.

334
00:16:50,900 --> 00:16:51,900
It'll be expensive.

335
00:16:52,240 --> 00:16:52,620
Shh.

336
00:16:53,146 --> 00:16:54,266
Tickets are on me.

337
00:16:54,873 --> 00:16:56,753
You ever flown first class before?

338
00:16:57,866 --> 00:16:59,026
What do you say, boys?

339
00:16:59,546 --> 00:17:00,486
A little vacay?

340
00:17:08,060 --> 00:17:09,920
I've been wanting this my whole life.

341
00:17:10,173 --> 00:17:12,193
First class ticket watch me recline.

342
00:17:12,580 --> 00:17:14,995
Scar Joe got the effin' vibe right.

343
00:17:15,020 --> 00:17:16,680
Whole life feelin' like a highlight.

344
00:17:17,460 --> 00:17:19,580
I style a way got to all of my haters.

345
00:17:19,780 --> 00:17:21,900
Ballin' like Dwayne Wade,
I'm one of the greatest.

346
00:17:22,320 --> 00:17:24,460
Flight attendant with a thick ol' thang.

347
00:17:24,620 --> 00:17:26,540
Handin' me drinks like Go-Off Kang.

348
00:17:26,800 --> 00:17:28,760
If you ain't up on thang.

349
00:17:28,900 --> 00:17:31,440
Scar J is the name when
you're dealin' with planes.

350
00:17:31,660 --> 00:17:34,040
Now listen up,
I'm talkin' to you, jerk.

351
00:17:34,041 --> 00:17:36,400
Fallin' in the sky all
the way to Newark.

352
00:17:36,980 --> 00:17:38,080
Did you say Newark?

353
00:17:38,720 --> 00:17:39,360
Yeah, what?

354
00:17:39,500 --> 00:17:40,500
What's up?

355
00:17:41,600 --> 00:17:42,600
No, it's...

356
00:17:43,120 --> 00:17:44,360
We're landing at Newark?

357
00:17:44,520 --> 00:17:45,520
Yeah, Newark.

358
00:17:45,560 --> 00:17:46,700
In New Jersey.

359
00:17:48,253 --> 00:17:49,733
Damn, it's kinda
windy out there, huh?

360
00:17:50,600 --> 00:17:52,100
Didn't we fly out of LaGuardia?

361
00:17:52,559 --> 00:17:53,879
It's like a half-hour drive.

362
00:17:54,020 --> 00:17:55,455
No, but this is awesome.

363
00:17:55,619 --> 00:17:57,559
Come on, I mean, we're
in first class, right?

364
00:17:58,515 --> 00:18:01,195
Now I'm up in first class,
Sippin' on a spritz fast.

365
00:18:01,220 --> 00:18:03,320
I don't got time, so I'll wear a
wristwatch.

366
00:18:03,321 --> 00:18:04,860
Is something going on at Newark?

367
00:18:05,240 --> 00:18:07,560
Like, are there planes crashing there or
something?

368
00:18:07,800 --> 00:18:10,220
No, I think they're just, like,
losing them?

369
00:18:10,380 --> 00:18:11,380
Losing the planes?

370
00:18:11,500 --> 00:18:12,760
Yeah, like, like, losing track.

371
00:18:13,000 --> 00:18:13,400
Yeah, right.

372
00:18:13,540 --> 00:18:16,276
They're losing the planes
in Newark, but the crashing

373
00:18:16,277 --> 00:18:18,281
is happening, like,
everywhere all the time now.

374
00:18:18,340 --> 00:18:18,940
Oh, yeah.

375
00:18:19,140 --> 00:18:19,480
Right.

376
00:18:19,820 --> 00:18:20,820
Yeah.

377
00:18:22,720 --> 00:18:23,720
Are you not nervous?

378
00:18:26,021 --> 00:18:28,141
Bitch, I ain't set an old plane.

379
00:18:28,166 --> 00:18:29,219
I'm chillin' and I'm freaking...

380
00:18:32,630 --> 00:18:34,410
I'm buckle up, didn't like that at all.

381
00:18:34,550 --> 00:18:36,190
Apologies for the turbulence, folks.

382
00:18:36,656 --> 00:18:40,245
But good news, we've been
cleared for landing at Newark.

383
00:18:40,270 --> 00:18:41,996
At least I think so.

384
00:18:42,470 --> 00:18:44,050
Haven't heard anything yet.

385
00:18:44,070 --> 00:18:45,070
Oh, no.

386
00:18:45,510 --> 00:18:46,510
Hmm.

387
00:18:46,610 --> 00:18:47,990
That's not good.

388
00:18:49,150 --> 00:18:50,250
Nah, that's scary.

389
00:18:50,730 --> 00:18:52,430
All the TV's just turned off.

390
00:18:52,630 --> 00:18:53,870
Once we land, I should be good.

391
00:18:54,150 --> 00:18:55,426
Once we land, I'll be all right.

392
00:18:55,450 --> 00:18:55,690
Oh!

393
00:18:55,810 --> 00:18:56,970
I'm just gonna meditate, too.

394
00:18:57,150 --> 00:18:58,150
God's got me.

395
00:18:58,570 --> 00:18:59,590
God's always got me.

396
00:18:59,910 --> 00:19:02,265
I can't be alone with the
thoughts in my dome.

397
00:19:02,290 --> 00:19:04,350
Mark, do you have any
shows in your phone?

398
00:19:04,510 --> 00:19:06,270
The only show I have is Lost.

399
00:19:06,730 --> 00:19:08,670
I only have the pilot of Lost.

400
00:19:08,990 --> 00:19:10,430
Why would you only have that one?

401
00:19:10,510 --> 00:19:12,330
I didn't know I'd be here today!

402
00:19:13,090 --> 00:19:14,590
Uh, bad news, folks.

403
00:19:14,823 --> 00:19:18,598
We are what we call in the biz,
flying blind.

404
00:19:18,630 --> 00:19:19,430
Oh, God!

405
00:19:19,431 --> 00:19:20,630
Okay, be honest.

406
00:19:20,770 --> 00:19:22,426
Do you think we'll make
the article at least?

407
00:19:22,450 --> 00:19:22,510
What?

408
00:19:22,670 --> 00:19:24,776
Do you think the article
will be like Scarlett

409
00:19:24,777 --> 00:19:27,150
Johansson and Please Don't
Destroy, Die in Plane Crash?

410
00:19:27,270 --> 00:19:27,830
Or just you?

411
00:19:27,950 --> 00:19:29,046
What's Please Don't Destroy?

412
00:19:29,070 --> 00:19:30,150
Who did you think we were?

413
00:19:31,950 --> 00:19:35,950
Uh, pardon me, while I give a quick call
to our air traffic controller.

414
00:19:36,510 --> 00:19:39,290
Come on, pick up, pick up, pick up,
pick up, pick up.

415
00:19:39,850 --> 00:19:40,850
Hello?

416
00:19:41,130 --> 00:19:41,530
Hi.

417
00:19:42,030 --> 00:19:43,570
Are you having fun up there?

418
00:19:43,910 --> 00:19:45,650
No, I'm not having fun.

419
00:19:45,963 --> 00:19:48,025
Sir, do you have our coordinates?

420
00:19:48,050 --> 00:19:50,173
Uh... I don't know.

421
00:19:50,198 --> 00:19:51,298
It's my first day.

422
00:19:51,323 --> 00:19:51,723
What?!

423
00:19:52,425 --> 00:19:53,947
It's your first day?!

424
00:19:54,091 --> 00:19:55,091
Yeah.

425
00:19:55,803 --> 00:19:58,058
There's... There's,
like, no one here.

426
00:19:58,090 --> 00:19:59,685
Oh, fantastic.

427
00:19:59,710 --> 00:20:02,156
Maybe you tell me, like...

428
00:20:02,190 --> 00:20:04,405
What... What color is
your... It's your plane?

429
00:20:04,430 --> 00:20:05,545
It's a frickin' plane!

430
00:20:05,570 --> 00:20:07,290
I'm gonna find the emergency exit,
and I'm gonna jump.

431
00:20:07,291 --> 00:20:09,110
Do not open the emergency exit!

432
00:20:09,230 --> 00:20:10,270
I've got... I want to!

433
00:20:10,390 --> 00:20:11,030
Oh, God!

434
00:20:11,031 --> 00:20:12,585
That's a new one!

435
00:20:12,610 --> 00:20:14,425
Oh, looks like this is it, guys!

436
00:20:14,450 --> 00:20:16,185
Anything to get off your chest?

437
00:20:16,210 --> 00:20:19,385
This might sound corny,
but the only thing I regret is...

438
00:20:20,072 --> 00:20:23,025
Is that Avengers didn't make
more money at the box office.

439
00:20:23,050 --> 00:20:23,570
What?!

440
00:20:23,571 --> 00:20:25,130
We are going down!

441
00:20:25,430 --> 00:20:27,690
If anybody can help us, please!

442
00:20:28,417 --> 00:20:29,165
Please!

443
00:20:29,190 --> 00:20:30,910
I can't give up on them.

444
00:20:31,710 --> 00:20:32,230
Yes.

445
00:20:32,231 --> 00:20:33,610
If I just...

446
00:20:35,330 --> 00:20:39,310
Orcate... The coordinates...
I'm starting to get my signal back!

447
00:20:39,610 --> 00:20:42,930
And calculate...
The wind resistance.

448
00:20:43,510 --> 00:20:44,210
Hey, hang on!

449
00:20:44,330 --> 00:20:45,010
I see the runway!

450
00:20:45,170 --> 00:20:45,710
I see the runway!

451
00:20:45,910 --> 00:20:47,250
I think I'm doing a good job!

452
00:20:47,450 --> 00:20:48,650
I think I'm saving them!

453
00:20:49,450 --> 00:20:50,270
Oh, my God!

454
00:20:50,271 --> 00:20:50,810
It's working!

455
00:20:51,170 --> 00:20:52,170
It's working!

456
00:20:52,290 --> 00:20:54,230
I can see you now...

457
00:20:54,776 --> 00:20:57,495
You're on the mainframe...

458
00:20:57,541 --> 00:21:02,387
Now glide it, glide it
and land this plane.

459
00:21:04,630 --> 00:21:05,750
We did it!

460
00:21:05,970 --> 00:21:06,490
Yes!

461
00:21:06,790 --> 00:21:07,790
I'm so happy!

462
00:21:07,830 --> 00:21:08,110
Yes!

463
00:21:08,111 --> 00:21:09,111
Yes!

464
00:21:09,230 --> 00:21:09,430
Yes!

465
00:21:09,570 --> 00:21:11,910
Now we can finally enjoy
our vacation in Newark!

466
00:21:14,449 --> 00:21:15,449
Oh!

467
00:21:15,789 --> 00:21:18,689
You can do anything
you put your mind to.

468
00:21:36,188 --> 00:21:37,055
Wow!

469
00:21:37,080 --> 00:21:39,211
I can't believe what
was supposed to be a

470
00:21:39,212 --> 00:21:42,621
one-night stand turned
into three weeks together.

471
00:21:43,267 --> 00:21:45,967
Yes, I'm also having
trouble believing that.

472
00:21:47,080 --> 00:21:48,480
So I've been thinking.

473
00:21:48,792 --> 00:21:49,892
My lease is up.

474
00:21:50,066 --> 00:21:51,386
Your lease isn't.

475
00:21:51,645 --> 00:21:54,243
So I could either
be homeless, or...

476
00:21:54,460 --> 00:21:56,220
Perhaps there's
another arrangement?

477
00:21:57,040 --> 00:21:58,175
Like you...

478
00:21:58,493 --> 00:22:00,113
Get another apartment?

479
00:22:01,534 --> 00:22:02,795
Oh, um... I'm sorry.

480
00:22:02,820 --> 00:22:06,139
This is kind of awkward, but...
You're kind of sitting at our table.

481
00:22:06,173 --> 00:22:07,458
Your table?

482
00:22:07,660 --> 00:22:10,452
The bar area is first that got here,
first that will be served.

483
00:22:11,073 --> 00:22:12,073
Um... Okay.

484
00:22:12,320 --> 00:22:14,227
Well, we've been coming
here every Friday for

485
00:22:14,228 --> 00:22:16,695
the past three weeks,
and this is where we sit.

486
00:22:16,720 --> 00:22:17,411
Right, baby?

487
00:22:17,436 --> 00:22:18,837
Um... Right.

488
00:22:22,787 --> 00:22:24,421
Baby, they got here first.

489
00:22:24,446 --> 00:22:26,435
Babe, this is our special table.

490
00:22:26,460 --> 00:22:27,518
They need to move.

491
00:22:27,968 --> 00:22:28,968
Okay.

492
00:22:29,153 --> 00:22:30,290
Ay, Dios mio, baby.

493
00:22:30,315 --> 00:22:31,315
Let's just go.

494
00:22:31,340 --> 00:22:33,526
Maybe I go to my apartment,

495
00:22:33,869 --> 00:22:37,339
and you go to any place
that's different than that.

496
00:22:38,243 --> 00:22:39,099
No way, no way.

497
00:22:39,124 --> 00:22:42,010
We're not just gonna leave
because they told us to.

498
00:22:42,035 --> 00:22:42,755
Say something.

499
00:22:42,780 --> 00:22:44,045
Defend my honor.

500
00:22:44,593 --> 00:22:45,188
Okay.

501
00:22:45,213 --> 00:22:46,033
I got this, baby.

502
00:22:46,058 --> 00:22:46,734
I got this.

503
00:22:46,759 --> 00:22:47,275
Hey!

504
00:22:47,300 --> 00:22:47,934
Hey.

505
00:22:48,615 --> 00:22:52,461
Sorry, my woman is a pain in the ass.

506
00:22:54,354 --> 00:22:55,113
That's right.

507
00:22:55,138 --> 00:22:57,220
He's about to beat your ass.

508
00:22:58,340 --> 00:22:59,520
Well, mine, too...

509
00:23:02,253 --> 00:23:03,438
...and I am afraid of her.

510
00:23:06,792 --> 00:23:09,907
I know we're not supposed
to say women are crazy...

511
00:23:09,932 --> 00:23:14,242
...but this one... she is crazy!

512
00:23:14,267 --> 00:23:15,188
You hear that?

513
00:23:15,212 --> 00:23:17,135
He's gonna go "loca on you",

514
00:23:18,843 --> 00:23:21,029
How did we let this happen??

515
00:23:22,831 --> 00:23:26,251
Sometimes instead of my brain...
I listen to my penis.

516
00:23:29,870 --> 00:23:31,870
Me too!

517
00:23:33,237 --> 00:23:36,829
Every time I try to end it,
I end up naked in her bed.

518
00:23:42,080 --> 00:23:44,153
Ah, that happens to me too.

519
00:23:45,645 --> 00:23:48,105
Oh, so now you're
making my man cry.

520
00:23:48,269 --> 00:23:49,499
Let me tell you something.

521
00:23:49,524 --> 00:23:51,303
In a way you can understand.

522
00:23:51,830 --> 00:23:54,356
Big bathroom, shoes!

523
00:23:56,977 --> 00:23:57,751
What?

524
00:23:57,776 --> 00:23:59,377
Mmm, you heard me.

525
00:23:59,402 --> 00:24:00,745
Where are you?

526
00:24:00,770 --> 00:24:02,809
February, giant saturday!

527
00:24:02,834 --> 00:24:07,339
Baby, baby, baby, baby, you...
you are not making any sense.

528
00:24:07,370 --> 00:24:10,445
You're not the only one who
can speak Spanish, bitch.

529
00:24:10,476 --> 00:24:12,601
I used to work at Chipotle.

530
00:24:13,656 --> 00:24:15,205
Listen to me closely.

531
00:24:15,436 --> 00:24:17,516
And then, tomato, pencil sharpener.

532
00:24:20,230 --> 00:24:22,360
Damn, they're really
going at it over there.

533
00:24:22,385 --> 00:24:25,086
Yeah, I feel like I'm
watching a telenovela.

534
00:24:25,930 --> 00:24:29,078
Yeah, I hope they do that thing
where they slap each other and kiss.

535
00:24:29,110 --> 00:24:29,845
Wait, what?

536
00:24:29,870 --> 00:24:32,210
Yeah, you know, in every novela,
there's a slap and kiss.

537
00:24:32,539 --> 00:24:37,873
You see, in their culture, the line
between passion and violence is paper thin.

538
00:24:37,898 --> 00:24:39,166
Oh.

539
00:24:39,451 --> 00:24:40,870
Baby, please, come over here.

540
00:24:41,070 --> 00:24:42,010
Do not listen to this woman.

541
00:24:42,030 --> 00:24:43,030
I'm gonna protect you.

542
00:24:43,070 --> 00:24:43,610
Oh, yeah.

543
00:24:43,758 --> 00:24:46,193
You better protect her
because I'm about to

544
00:24:46,224 --> 00:24:49,330
Asparagus, nothing
more and your ankle?

545
00:24:50,543 --> 00:24:51,438
Baby, baby, baby.

546
00:24:51,470 --> 00:24:53,859
You're talking about asparagus.

547
00:24:54,590 --> 00:24:56,399
Let me handle this, okay?

548
00:24:59,515 --> 00:25:03,218
Why do you think we
have so bad luck in love?

549
00:25:04,969 --> 00:25:07,309
Honestly, I think I seek it out.

550
00:25:08,769 --> 00:25:11,584
Because deep down,
I want a woman

551
00:25:11,615 --> 00:25:13,709
who is not mentally stable.

552
00:25:15,076 --> 00:25:15,971
Yeah!

553
00:25:16,136 --> 00:25:17,829
Nipple crazy cafeteria!

554
00:25:20,329 --> 00:25:21,589
Te entiendo, brother.

555
00:25:21,883 --> 00:25:24,763
I know. Once they go to therapy
It ain't the same.

556
00:25:25,235 --> 00:25:29,432
Crazy women have the best cat.

557
00:25:30,685 --> 00:25:32,925
Pero los locos somos nosotros.

558
00:25:32,950 --> 00:25:33,950
Esa es verdad!

559
00:25:34,610 --> 00:25:35,345
I'm sorry.

560
00:25:35,370 --> 00:25:36,190
Why are you two laughing?

561
00:25:36,215 --> 00:25:37,250
What did you just say?

562
00:25:37,576 --> 00:25:43,881
Uh, I said that there's
no reason to fight.

563
00:25:43,906 --> 00:25:47,525
And they make a great couple.

564
00:25:47,629 --> 00:25:50,869
And he never... He
should never let her go.

565
00:25:52,137 --> 00:25:52,859
Oh!

566
00:25:58,100 --> 00:25:59,100
That's sweet!

567
00:25:59,759 --> 00:26:03,988
Baby, let's get out of here
and go back to your place.

568
00:26:04,013 --> 00:26:05,970
Because tonight, I'm gonna give you...

569
00:26:05,991 --> 00:26:09,437
Oranges, boobs,
soup made from cow feet.

570
00:26:10,240 --> 00:26:11,720
Okay, baby, let's go.

571
00:26:12,589 --> 00:26:15,478
Okay, well, maybe we can learn
a little something from them.

572
00:26:15,503 --> 00:26:15,822
Yeah.

573
00:26:15,854 --> 00:26:17,119
So tonight,
I'm gonna give you...

574
00:26:17,144 --> 00:26:21,089
Stapler, boobs,
and ugly pigeon.

575
00:26:22,862 --> 00:26:24,742
You had me, uh... tetas.

576
00:26:27,437 --> 00:26:28,497
Wow!

577
00:26:30,353 --> 00:26:31,424
Would you look at that?

578
00:26:32,226 --> 00:26:33,786
It's like they always say...

579
00:26:34,293 --> 00:26:36,647
Love... though it hurts,
it is beautiful.

580
00:26:46,197 --> 00:26:49,215
So, I just found out there's
a second Kansas City.

581
00:26:49,253 --> 00:26:52,075
Hey, uh, you guys know
I love Colin, right?

582
00:26:52,106 --> 00:26:54,435
Of course, he's your
boo thing for life.

583
00:26:54,460 --> 00:26:57,295
Yeah, and we're,
like, totally happy.

584
00:26:57,319 --> 00:27:00,579
But, like, it's normal to have little
crushes here and there.

585
00:27:01,160 --> 00:27:04,036
Especially on someone
from the cast.

586
00:27:04,061 --> 00:27:04,878
Who is it?

587
00:27:04,903 --> 00:27:06,295
Creepy, creepy longfellow?

588
00:27:06,320 --> 00:27:07,320
No.

589
00:27:08,540 --> 00:27:09,552
It's Bowen.

590
00:27:11,952 --> 00:27:13,848
He's just so sweet.

591
00:27:13,880 --> 00:27:16,020
And, I mean, nothing's
obviously gonna happen.

592
00:27:16,060 --> 00:27:16,760
I'm married.

593
00:27:16,761 --> 00:27:17,975
He's gay.

594
00:27:18,000 --> 00:27:19,415
Um, yeah, no.

595
00:27:19,440 --> 00:27:21,115
Bowen is not gay.

596
00:27:21,140 --> 00:27:23,495
Bowen is straight as hell.

597
00:27:23,520 --> 00:27:26,195
Bowen! Bowen! Bowen!

598
00:27:26,220 --> 00:27:30,214
Oh, really? But at the 50th,
I saw him sobbing over Cher.

599
00:27:30,235 --> 00:27:31,407
It's all fake, girl.

600
00:27:31,432 --> 00:27:33,571
He just styles up
the gay for clout.

601
00:27:33,596 --> 00:27:34,780
Trust me.

602
00:27:34,805 --> 00:27:36,455
That man's a pee hound.

603
00:27:36,480 --> 00:27:38,070
Through and through.

604
00:27:38,095 --> 00:27:38,455
More.

605
00:27:38,480 --> 00:27:39,175
I got more.

606
00:27:39,200 --> 00:27:40,742
That is so...

607
00:27:41,026 --> 00:27:42,001
Seriously?

608
00:27:42,527 --> 00:27:43,527
Hello, hello?

609
00:27:52,746 --> 00:27:54,695
Hey!
I've missed you.

610
00:27:54,720 --> 00:27:56,655
Of course he's
with Gina Gershon.

611
00:27:56,680 --> 00:27:58,228
Oh, I just had to see you.

612
00:27:58,253 --> 00:27:58,874
Mm.

613
00:27:58,900 --> 00:27:59,655
Slower.

614
00:27:59,680 --> 00:28:00,680
Okay.

615
00:28:01,835 --> 00:28:03,755
So, how's the week been going?

616
00:28:03,780 --> 00:28:05,455
You getting along with the cast?

617
00:28:05,480 --> 00:28:06,715
Yeah, fine.

618
00:28:06,740 --> 00:28:07,095
Why?

619
00:28:07,120 --> 00:28:08,120
You heard something?

620
00:28:09,786 --> 00:28:10,954
Bowen, hi.

621
00:28:10,979 --> 00:28:12,155
What's up, Colin?

622
00:28:12,180 --> 00:28:13,395
Hey, good work this season.

623
00:28:13,420 --> 00:28:14,135
Keep it up.

624
00:28:14,160 --> 00:28:15,375
Excited to watch you grow.

625
00:28:15,400 --> 00:28:16,575
Thanks, man.

626
00:28:16,600 --> 00:28:17,600
Do you mind, uh...

627
00:28:18,823 --> 00:28:19,555
Leaving?

628
00:28:19,580 --> 00:28:20,235
Yeah.

629
00:28:20,260 --> 00:28:21,195
Yeah, no problem.

630
00:28:21,220 --> 00:28:22,816
I... I'll just take the stairs.

631
00:28:23,346 --> 00:28:24,733
It's only 30 flights.

632
00:28:27,066 --> 00:28:28,982
Scarlet, Scarlet.

633
00:28:29,014 --> 00:28:31,655
My Jurassic... Harlot.

634
00:28:31,680 --> 00:28:32,509
Bowen!

635
00:28:33,282 --> 00:28:34,663
You shouldn't be
talking to me that way.

636
00:28:34,695 --> 00:28:36,001
I'm married.

637
00:28:36,026 --> 00:28:38,046
Probably shouldn't be
doing a lot of things.

638
00:28:40,500 --> 00:28:41,415
That's better.

639
00:28:41,440 --> 00:28:44,695
Watch it, Mr. Mudang.

640
00:28:44,720 --> 00:28:48,680
Listen, uh... You know,
Colin's my SNL brother, and...

641
00:28:48,681 --> 00:28:50,813
I would never do
anything to hurt him, but...

642
00:28:51,745 --> 00:28:53,286
I would fuck his wife.

643
00:28:54,960 --> 00:28:57,100
There is something
I wanted to ask you.

644
00:28:57,612 --> 00:28:58,132
What?

645
00:28:58,380 --> 00:29:00,199
I guess I was wondering...

646
00:29:00,853 --> 00:29:02,413
what that Yang do.

647
00:29:08,788 --> 00:29:10,150
Oh, Scarlet.

648
00:29:10,175 --> 00:29:11,236
Wait, wait.

649
00:29:11,261 --> 00:29:12,283
Do we need protection?

650
00:29:12,308 --> 00:29:12,828
No.

651
00:29:12,853 --> 00:29:13,621
It's fine.

652
00:29:13,646 --> 00:29:14,317
I can bottom.

653
00:29:16,580 --> 00:29:18,417
Oh, Scarlet!

654
00:29:19,140 --> 00:29:20,140
Oh!

655
00:29:20,380 --> 00:29:21,380
Oh!

656
00:29:22,680 --> 00:29:25,301
I need to see you
again... tonight.

657
00:29:25,800 --> 00:29:26,800
I'll cook for you.

658
00:29:26,940 --> 00:29:27,960
You wanna come by mine?

659
00:29:28,120 --> 00:29:28,740
You like ceviche?

660
00:29:29,080 --> 00:29:30,080
Yeah.

661
00:29:30,120 --> 00:29:32,041
Yeah, come by at like... 2 a.m.

662
00:29:32,280 --> 00:29:32,600
Okay.

663
00:29:32,680 --> 00:29:33,680
Oh, now...

664
00:29:33,800 --> 00:29:34,920
wear something pretty, okay?

665
00:29:44,060 --> 00:29:45,060
Hi.

666
00:29:45,926 --> 00:29:46,635
Hey.

667
00:29:46,853 --> 00:29:48,471
Wait, were we not
hanging out tonight?

668
00:29:49,219 --> 00:29:49,694
Right.

669
00:29:49,719 --> 00:29:50,315
Shoot.

670
00:29:50,340 --> 00:29:51,360
Uh, come on in.

671
00:29:53,099 --> 00:29:54,734
Oh, nice place.

672
00:29:54,973 --> 00:29:56,761
So, are we cooking?

673
00:29:56,793 --> 00:29:58,124
Uh... Oh, yeah.

674
00:29:58,149 --> 00:30:00,571
I think there's some
tendies in the air fryer.

675
00:30:01,847 --> 00:30:02,735
My king.

676
00:30:02,760 --> 00:30:04,517
Good scene at rehearsal.

677
00:30:07,226 --> 00:30:08,486
You slept with Ego?

678
00:30:08,580 --> 00:30:09,660
What do you want me to say?

679
00:30:09,840 --> 00:30:10,660
Uh, I don't know.

680
00:30:10,760 --> 00:30:11,760
That we had a connection.

681
00:30:11,960 --> 00:30:13,020
Oh, so now we're dating?

682
00:30:13,180 --> 00:30:15,420
I just found out who
you were this morning.

683
00:30:15,560 --> 00:30:17,280
Oh, so I meant nothing to you!

684
00:30:17,380 --> 00:30:18,760
God, you're suffocating me!

685
00:30:20,260 --> 00:30:20,660
Bowen!

686
00:30:20,661 --> 00:30:21,300
Screw it.

687
00:30:21,500 --> 00:30:22,500
I'm going to Tokyo.

688
00:30:23,347 --> 00:30:25,267
Thanks for inventing AI, by the way.

689
00:30:29,495 --> 00:30:30,495
Hey, mama.

690
00:30:30,520 --> 00:30:31,520
Hey.

691
00:30:31,860 --> 00:30:32,560
You too.

692
00:30:32,880 --> 00:30:36,040
If you keep asking yourself why,
you'll drive yourself crazy.

693
00:30:36,300 --> 00:30:37,640
I got gaslit by Bowen.

694
00:30:38,420 --> 00:30:38,840
Bowen!

695
00:30:40,841 --> 00:30:43,300
Domo arigato, Ratajkowski-san.

696
00:30:43,500 --> 00:30:44,660
Let's go to Disneyland Tokyo.

697
00:30:45,000 --> 00:30:46,440
Is that Emily Ratajkowski?

698
00:30:46,600 --> 00:30:47,020
Hurry up!

699
00:30:47,220 --> 00:30:47,520
Okay!

700
00:30:47,946 --> 00:30:48,946
Listen learned.

701
00:30:49,120 --> 00:30:51,160
Never get your back
blown out by a gay guy.

702
00:30:51,161 --> 00:30:52,280
Amen, sister.

703
00:30:54,079 --> 00:30:57,345
Bowen's Still Straight

704
00:31:10,200 --> 00:31:10,660
Hi.

705
00:31:10,980 --> 00:31:13,060
Um, can you press 147, please?

706
00:31:13,440 --> 00:31:14,440
Uh, sure.

707
00:31:14,960 --> 00:31:15,960
Thank you.

708
00:31:16,180 --> 00:31:16,640
God.

709
00:31:17,160 --> 00:31:18,700
Oh, you're Mike Myers.

710
00:31:18,860 --> 00:31:19,460
I am, yes.

711
00:31:19,620 --> 00:31:19,860
Thank you.

712
00:31:20,060 --> 00:31:21,060
Yes.

713
00:31:24,420 --> 00:31:25,760
Damn, this is my stop.

714
00:31:26,140 --> 00:31:27,156
Uh, good to meet you, though.

715
00:31:27,180 --> 00:31:27,560
Oh, look.

716
00:31:27,660 --> 00:31:28,240
Nice to meet you.

717
00:31:28,360 --> 00:31:29,360
Nice to meet you.

718
00:31:29,720 --> 00:31:30,040
Hi.

719
00:31:30,360 --> 00:31:31,500
Sorry to bother you.

720
00:31:31,640 --> 00:31:32,460
I just have to say this.

721
00:31:32,480 --> 00:31:34,400
I'm a huge fan of yours, Mr. Myers.

722
00:31:34,700 --> 00:31:35,540
Oh, thank you.

723
00:31:35,580 --> 00:31:36,340
That's very, very kind.

724
00:31:36,480 --> 00:31:36,820
Thank you.

725
00:31:36,920 --> 00:31:37,680
And what's your name?

726
00:31:37,681 --> 00:31:39,080
Uh, I'm Janice.

727
00:31:39,360 --> 00:31:40,640
And I just love all your movies.

728
00:31:40,820 --> 00:31:43,420
My girlfriends and I
quote Shrek, like, all the time.

729
00:31:43,720 --> 00:31:44,340
Oh, thank you.

730
00:31:44,380 --> 00:31:45,120
That's a little weird.

731
00:31:45,300 --> 00:31:46,300
But, uh, thank you.

732
00:31:46,380 --> 00:31:46,840
Thank you.

733
00:31:46,940 --> 00:31:47,360
That's very nice.

734
00:31:47,361 --> 00:31:48,900
It's-it's my first time in New York.

735
00:31:48,901 --> 00:31:51,341
You just never know what
celebrity you're gonna run into here.

736
00:31:51,480 --> 00:31:52,480
That's true.

737
00:31:53,020 --> 00:31:53,700
Oh, my God.

738
00:31:53,820 --> 00:31:54,880
Is that Kanye West?

739
00:31:56,200 --> 00:31:57,800
Yeah, what you talking about?

740
00:31:58,020 --> 00:31:59,700
Spotify removed my song, fam.

741
00:32:00,220 --> 00:32:01,720
Come on, give me one good reason.

742
00:32:02,640 --> 00:32:03,640
Besides that.

743
00:32:04,520 --> 00:32:05,520
Besides that.

744
00:32:06,540 --> 00:32:07,880
How is it not relatable?

745
00:32:08,100 --> 00:32:09,200
Everybody got a cousin.

746
00:32:10,700 --> 00:32:12,400
Oh, I guess it's my stop.

747
00:32:12,600 --> 00:32:14,200
Again, so nice to meet you, Mr. Myers.

748
00:32:14,340 --> 00:32:15,060
No, no, it's not.

749
00:32:15,180 --> 00:32:15,860
It's just not your stop.

750
00:32:16,060 --> 00:32:16,620
What are you doing?

751
00:32:16,621 --> 00:32:18,800
You can't leave me
alone in here with him.

752
00:32:18,900 --> 00:32:19,460
It's fine.

753
00:32:19,580 --> 00:32:20,580
I heard he's a delight.

754
00:32:22,900 --> 00:32:23,900
Oh, hey.

755
00:32:24,280 --> 00:32:25,900
You Mike Myers, right?

756
00:32:26,600 --> 00:32:27,040
Kanye.

757
00:32:27,360 --> 00:32:28,100
What's up, man?

758
00:32:28,380 --> 00:32:29,560
It's just ye now.

759
00:32:29,900 --> 00:32:30,580
Sorry, ye.

760
00:32:30,780 --> 00:32:32,320
I'm-I guess it's been a while.

761
00:32:32,560 --> 00:32:34,740
Yeah, since that
Hurricane Katrina benefit.

762
00:32:35,860 --> 00:32:36,300
Yes.

763
00:32:36,760 --> 00:32:38,345
You know, when I told
the world that George

764
00:32:38,346 --> 00:32:40,961
Bush don't care about
black people on live TV.

765
00:32:41,420 --> 00:32:41,860
Yes.

766
00:32:42,080 --> 00:32:43,960
And you just had to
stand there looking stupid.

767
00:32:45,340 --> 00:32:45,780
Yes.

768
00:32:46,260 --> 00:32:48,720
So, uh, uh, what have you
been up to?

769
00:32:49,060 --> 00:32:49,540
Oh, me?

770
00:32:49,840 --> 00:32:51,380
I'm in the KKK now.

771
00:32:52,780 --> 00:32:53,880
Of course you are.

772
00:32:54,040 --> 00:32:55,040
Yes, yes.

773
00:32:55,140 --> 00:32:56,140
How's your kids?

774
00:32:56,220 --> 00:32:56,660
My kids?

775
00:32:56,800 --> 00:32:57,800
My kids are safe.

776
00:32:59,040 --> 00:32:59,700
That's good.

777
00:32:59,980 --> 00:33:01,720
Family stability is important.

778
00:33:02,140 --> 00:33:02,800
Isn't it, though?

779
00:33:02,960 --> 00:33:03,960
Yes.

780
00:33:04,300 --> 00:33:04,740
Yeah.

781
00:33:04,960 --> 00:33:06,280
This Diddy stuff is crazy, right?

782
00:33:06,860 --> 00:33:07,300
What?

783
00:33:07,880 --> 00:33:08,320
Diddy.

784
00:33:08,456 --> 00:33:10,975
He's on trial right now for,
like, a bunch of stuff.

785
00:33:11,000 --> 00:33:11,620
Oh, yeah, yeah.

786
00:33:11,706 --> 00:33:12,769
I-I heard about that.

787
00:33:12,794 --> 00:33:13,120
Yeah.

788
00:33:13,140 --> 00:33:14,560
Yeah, it's so crazy, man.

789
00:33:14,860 --> 00:33:18,580
You think you know a guy turns out
to be a full crazy monster man.

790
00:33:19,100 --> 00:33:19,800
Yeah, right.

791
00:33:19,801 --> 00:33:21,000
So, what happened to you?

792
00:33:21,340 --> 00:33:22,340
What do you mean?

793
00:33:23,200 --> 00:33:24,200
Nothing.

794
00:33:24,380 --> 00:33:25,380
Not one thing.

795
00:33:28,680 --> 00:33:30,380
Oh, let's wait for the next one.

796
00:33:30,500 --> 00:33:31,020
Yeah, yeah.

797
00:33:31,180 --> 00:33:31,920
No, come back!

798
00:33:32,060 --> 00:33:33,176
There's plenty of room in here.

799
00:33:33,200 --> 00:33:34,800
There's plenty of room in this elevator.

800
00:33:36,540 --> 00:33:39,720
So, Myers, that Jewish?

801
00:33:40,020 --> 00:33:41,160
Protestant, actually.

802
00:33:41,400 --> 00:33:42,040
Protestant, yeah.

803
00:33:42,320 --> 00:33:42,600
Nice.

804
00:33:42,940 --> 00:33:43,160
Yeah.

805
00:33:43,580 --> 00:33:44,060
Hey, you know what?

806
00:33:44,061 --> 00:33:45,381
We should take a selfie together.

807
00:33:45,420 --> 00:33:45,700
Come on.

808
00:33:45,840 --> 00:33:46,840
Hold on.

809
00:33:46,880 --> 00:33:47,880
Got that.

810
00:33:48,980 --> 00:33:51,240
The elevators are so slow sometimes.

811
00:33:51,580 --> 00:33:52,260
What was that?

812
00:33:52,540 --> 00:33:54,240
You must have hit stop or something.

813
00:33:54,480 --> 00:33:55,980
I think we're stuck, man.

814
00:33:56,100 --> 00:33:57,560
We're gonna be here for a while now.

815
00:33:57,920 --> 00:33:58,355
Oh, no.

816
00:33:58,380 --> 00:34:00,840
Should we, uh, jump up and down until
something happens?

817
00:34:01,140 --> 00:34:01,740
Nah, man.

818
00:34:01,940 --> 00:34:03,680
I don't like doing crazy stuff.

819
00:34:05,060 --> 00:34:06,260
You don't understand.

820
00:34:06,460 --> 00:34:07,780
I get really claustrophobic.

821
00:34:08,640 --> 00:34:09,240
Oh, trust me.

822
00:34:09,380 --> 00:34:09,960
I understand.

823
00:34:10,300 --> 00:34:11,760
I'm a few phobics myself.

824
00:34:12,260 --> 00:34:13,260
Yeah.

825
00:34:14,040 --> 00:34:15,760
But right now, we just need to relax.

826
00:34:17,700 --> 00:34:18,740
You want some knots?

827
00:34:19,040 --> 00:34:20,040
No.

828
00:34:20,120 --> 00:34:20,680
I'm good.

829
00:34:20,820 --> 00:34:22,120
I just gotta get out of here.

830
00:34:22,240 --> 00:34:23,521
I gotta get... Calm down, Mike.

831
00:34:23,600 --> 00:34:24,960
You sound like a lunatic.

832
00:34:25,460 --> 00:34:27,400
Why don't I play you
my next single, man?

833
00:34:27,520 --> 00:34:28,600
It's a love song.

834
00:34:28,800 --> 00:34:29,200
Okay.

835
00:34:29,800 --> 00:34:32,060
Yeah, it's called Squeezing
on my grandpa's booty.

836
00:34:34,520 --> 00:34:34,920
Wait.

837
00:34:35,060 --> 00:34:35,640
We're moving again.

838
00:34:36,040 --> 00:34:36,200
Okay.

839
00:34:36,400 --> 00:34:36,960
Thank you, God.

840
00:34:37,160 --> 00:34:38,160
You're welcome.

841
00:34:38,700 --> 00:34:39,460
This is me.

842
00:34:39,720 --> 00:34:40,760
Take care of yourself, ye.

843
00:34:41,160 --> 00:34:42,320
Yeah, you too, Shrek.

844
00:34:45,410 --> 00:34:46,908
You think you know a guy...

845
00:35:10,140 --> 00:35:11,980
Ladies and gentlemen, Bad Bunny.

846
00:37:51,040 --> 00:37:54,960
It's Weekend Update
with Colin Jost and Michael Che.

847
00:38:09,760 --> 00:38:10,400
Thank you.

848
00:38:10,480 --> 00:38:11,480
Good evening, everyone.

849
00:38:11,560 --> 00:38:12,320
Welcome to Weekend Update.

850
00:38:12,420 --> 00:38:13,000
I'm Michael Che.

851
00:38:13,260 --> 00:38:14,260
I'm Colin Jost.

852
00:38:16,480 --> 00:38:20,020
Well, President Trump traveled to the
Middle East this week, and if I were him,

853
00:38:20,100 --> 00:38:22,340
I would have just stayed there
because it looked awesome.

854
00:38:22,900 --> 00:38:26,380
Trump arrived in Saudi Arabia,
where he was greeted with a lavender

855
00:38:26,381 --> 00:38:30,500
carpet, which matched the color
of his tie, and also the length.

856
00:38:32,500 --> 00:38:36,680
They also rolled out a mobile McDonald's
truck for President Trump's visit,

857
00:38:36,920 --> 00:38:41,020
featuring Saudi Arabia's most popular new
burger, the McJournalist.

858
00:38:44,740 --> 00:38:49,260
President Trump, while on his trip,
said that Iran has sort of agreed to terms

859
00:38:49,261 --> 00:38:51,456
for a nuclear deal, in
the same way Trump has

860
00:38:51,457 --> 00:38:54,001
sort of agreed to
uphold the Constitution.

861
00:38:54,580 --> 00:38:58,600
Many people in Saudi Arabia were very
happy with President Trump's visit to the

862
00:38:58,601 --> 00:39:02,180
country, because rich Saudis
love to fly out thick blondes.

863
00:39:05,860 --> 00:39:09,320
The Democratic National Committee
protested President Trump's plans to

864
00:39:09,321 --> 00:39:12,566
accept a $400 million
luxury jet from Qatar by

865
00:39:12,567 --> 00:39:16,500
flying a banner over
Mar-a-Lago reading Qatar-a-Lago.

866
00:39:16,501 --> 00:39:19,427
It's the kind of hilarious
stunt that makes you

867
00:39:19,428 --> 00:39:22,301
realize why the Democrats
will never win again.

868
00:39:24,640 --> 00:39:27,276
Ethical experts are also
warning that Trump may owe

869
00:39:27,277 --> 00:39:30,440
political favors to countries
who give him lavish gifts.

870
00:39:30,680 --> 00:39:32,876
But based on the way
he left the Middle East,

871
00:39:32,877 --> 00:39:35,501
I think I know how Trump
is gonna pay them back.

872
00:39:43,760 --> 00:39:46,639
President Trump has signed
an executive order giving

873
00:39:46,640 --> 00:39:49,260
refugee status to white
people from South Africa.

874
00:39:49,580 --> 00:39:49,960
Huh.

875
00:39:50,180 --> 00:39:53,400
You know, I could have sworn that white
people had it good in South Africa.

876
00:39:53,620 --> 00:39:55,100
Must be the Mandela Effect.

877
00:39:58,880 --> 00:40:02,920
The Trump administration announced that
after face-to-face talks with China,

878
00:40:02,921 --> 00:40:07,740
it is lowering tariffs from 145% to 30%,
which is a little like O.J.

879
00:40:07,960 --> 00:40:09,400
bragging about taking the knife out.

880
00:40:14,790 --> 00:40:19,970
Robert F. Kennedy Jr., whose shirt
collar traps all the blood in his head,

881
00:40:21,628 --> 00:40:23,879
was criticized for
posting pictures of

882
00:40:23,891 --> 00:40:26,503
himself swimming in a
Washington, D.C. creek,

883
00:40:26,535 --> 00:40:30,855
despite signs warning it was
contaminated with raw sewage.

884
00:40:30,880 --> 00:40:33,728
Ugh, can you imagine how
many parasites are in there?

885
00:40:33,753 --> 00:40:34,506
Said the creek.

886
00:40:36,940 --> 00:40:41,668
The Department of Homeland Security said
they may participate in a new reality show

887
00:40:41,693 --> 00:40:43,708
in which immigrants
would go through a series

888
00:40:43,733 --> 00:40:45,935
of challenges for a
chance to become a citizen.

889
00:40:46,040 --> 00:40:48,839
It's called The Real Housekeepers
of Orange County.

890
00:40:54,240 --> 00:40:56,060
Oh, according to a...

891
00:40:57,540 --> 00:41:01,360
According to a new tell-all book,
Biden's inner circle revealed that they

892
00:41:01,361 --> 00:41:05,020
were worried the president would need a
wheelchair in his second term,

893
00:41:05,060 --> 00:41:08,120
especially after they were all done
stabbing him in the back.

894
00:41:11,480 --> 00:41:14,040
The White House also announced
that Vice President J.D.

895
00:41:14,180 --> 00:41:18,540
Vance will travel to the Vatican
for Pope Leo's inaugural mass.

896
00:41:18,760 --> 00:41:21,260
And I'm not a huge fan of his outfit.

897
00:41:24,400 --> 00:41:27,388
Train engineers went on
strike yesterday, completely

898
00:41:27,413 --> 00:41:29,908
shutting down New Jersey
transit lines into New York,

899
00:41:29,932 --> 00:41:32,970
in case you were wondering
why the city smelled so nice.

900
00:41:37,440 --> 00:41:43,840
In what counts as good news, in 2025,
the Menendez brothers have been

901
00:41:43,841 --> 00:41:48,580
re-sentenced to the 1989 murder of their
parents after the judge said he did not

902
00:41:48,581 --> 00:41:53,260
believe the brothers posed a risk if
released unless someone adopts them.

903
00:41:53,261 --> 00:41:54,261
Oh.

904
00:41:54,800 --> 00:41:55,940
No, that's a good point.

905
00:41:57,100 --> 00:41:58,280
Some of them are just points.

906
00:41:59,160 --> 00:42:00,160
Not jokes.

907
00:42:00,260 --> 00:42:03,640
After several troubling incidents at
Newark Liberty International Airport,

908
00:42:03,900 --> 00:42:06,324
many people are worried
about airplane safety, but

909
00:42:06,325 --> 00:42:09,460
one person is more
worried about airplane food.

910
00:42:09,800 --> 00:42:15,281
Here to comment, you know her, you
love her, you got her fined by the FCC.

911
00:42:15,320 --> 00:42:17,220
Show some love for Miss Eggie.

912
00:42:24,210 --> 00:42:24,730
What?

913
00:42:24,830 --> 00:42:26,430
How we doing, Jet Blue?

914
00:42:29,150 --> 00:42:30,850
I'm sorry, Ego, what is this?

915
00:42:31,010 --> 00:42:32,410
Damn, this place stink.

916
00:42:33,110 --> 00:42:35,210
And I ain't even served the food yet.

917
00:42:35,750 --> 00:42:40,230
Blind attendant came around asking me
if I want some butternut squash ravioli.

918
00:42:40,430 --> 00:42:44,150
More like, butternut offer me that mess
till you put some meat in it.

919
00:42:45,010 --> 00:42:46,490
Squash that, sucker.

920
00:42:47,830 --> 00:42:50,990
Can't even give me a
whole can of soda, stingy ass.

921
00:42:51,270 --> 00:42:53,990
But wanna hand me a dry-ass Biscoff.

922
00:42:54,190 --> 00:42:56,350
More like, you got to piss a Biscoff.

923
00:42:57,110 --> 00:42:58,110
What the hell?

924
00:42:59,210 --> 00:43:01,790
I'm sorry, is all of your
stand-up about food?

925
00:43:01,950 --> 00:43:03,310
Good God damn!

926
00:43:03,850 --> 00:43:05,010
I am starving.

927
00:43:05,550 --> 00:43:07,694
Flight attendants saying
the only sandwich they

928
00:43:07,695 --> 00:43:10,551
got on this plane is a
turkey pesto on ciabatta.

929
00:43:10,730 --> 00:43:13,470
All I know is this bitch
ciabatta lose her life.

930
00:43:14,410 --> 00:43:15,410
Shoot.

931
00:43:15,970 --> 00:43:18,570
That bread was harder than
my man when I get out the tub.

932
00:43:18,770 --> 00:43:19,770
Okay.

933
00:43:19,910 --> 00:43:20,490
Uh-huh.

934
00:43:20,491 --> 00:43:22,902
His name's Maurice,
but I call him Trey, cuz

935
00:43:22,903 --> 00:43:26,011
he stay in the upright
and locked position.

936
00:43:27,310 --> 00:43:28,850
Cuz Ms. Eggie done what?

937
00:43:32,240 --> 00:43:32,540
Yeah.

938
00:43:32,960 --> 00:43:34,796
I'm sorry, I really don't
think this is helpful.

939
00:43:34,820 --> 00:43:36,740
Colin, please, I'm eating.

940
00:43:37,900 --> 00:43:42,360
Then she asking, do I want some
apple cranberry compote?

941
00:43:42,560 --> 00:43:45,820
Uh, I'ma need a compote to
Google what the hell that is.

942
00:43:50,650 --> 00:43:55,510
And y'all went and took peanuts off the
plane, cuz everybody wanna have an allergy.

943
00:43:55,750 --> 00:43:58,590
If you don't take a Benadryl
and shut your gay ass up...

944
00:44:01,970 --> 00:44:05,030
Ego, this Newark story is serious.

945
00:44:05,310 --> 00:44:07,130
And how about that TSA, huh?

946
00:44:07,850 --> 00:44:12,571
Putting on them Papa Smurf gloves, thinking
they can fill me up just cuz I got a gun.

947
00:44:14,730 --> 00:44:16,450
Cuz Ms. Eggie stay what?

948
00:44:16,451 --> 00:44:16,530
What?

949
00:44:17,430 --> 00:44:20,010
That's right, no strap, y'all.

950
00:44:21,050 --> 00:44:24,050
You were supposed to be talking
about Newark Airport.

951
00:44:24,190 --> 00:44:25,670
Colin, I literally am.

952
00:44:26,410 --> 00:44:27,410
Listen here.

953
00:44:29,430 --> 00:44:31,030
Menopause been making me horny.

954
00:44:31,310 --> 00:44:31,870
Menopause?

955
00:44:32,110 --> 00:44:33,110
What?

956
00:44:34,550 --> 00:44:37,549
And let's just say, Ms. Eggie
don't need no hollandaise

957
00:44:37,550 --> 00:44:40,210
sauce, cuz I already know
how to benedict, okay?

958
00:44:41,430 --> 00:44:42,430
Okay, all right.

959
00:44:43,350 --> 00:44:44,770
Okay, Ego.

960
00:44:46,450 --> 00:44:49,430
Please, Ego, wrap this up, please,
wrap this up.

961
00:44:49,850 --> 00:44:53,490
In conclusion, thank you, Jet Blue,
for having a bitch.

962
00:44:54,510 --> 00:44:58,250
And if we hit turbulence, Colin,
just take a Benadryl and what?

963
00:44:58,650 --> 00:45:00,150
Shut your gay ass up.

964
00:45:03,370 --> 00:45:04,670
Enjoy the flight.

965
00:45:04,910 --> 00:45:05,910
Ms. Eggie, everyone.

966
00:45:06,010 --> 00:45:07,590
Cuz these men ain't worth a day.

967
00:45:16,260 --> 00:45:19,753
New research shows that too
much sitting could damage your

968
00:45:19,754 --> 00:45:23,340
brain, which explains why Stephen
Hawking was such a dumbass.

969
00:45:28,840 --> 00:45:32,760
Dick's Sporting Goods announced that it is
buying Foot Locker for more than two

970
00:45:32,761 --> 00:45:36,400
billion dollars and will combine
to form Dick Fockers.

971
00:45:39,140 --> 00:45:43,900
A new survey found that the worst
litterers in New York City are men from

972
00:45:43,901 --> 00:45:46,294
the Bronx and Queens,
while women from the Bronx

973
00:45:46,295 --> 00:45:48,941
and Queens safely keep
all their junk in the trunk.

974
00:45:53,960 --> 00:45:59,560
A driver for Amazon was fired after she
was caught on a Ring camera defecating on

975
00:45:59,561 --> 00:46:02,780
a porch, said the homeowner,
but that's what I ordered.

976
00:46:05,240 --> 00:46:09,260
A new study suggests that people who feel
tired all the time could have suffered a

977
00:46:09,261 --> 00:46:14,060
mini-stroke, which makes sense because I
always get sleepy after a stroke, you know?

978
00:46:15,600 --> 00:46:19,450
I feel like all my jokes take time.

979
00:46:21,870 --> 00:46:23,870
It was a heartwarming one to end on.

980
00:46:24,030 --> 00:46:28,190
You know, tonight is our season finale,
and we, uh, I'm not sure.

981
00:46:29,070 --> 00:46:31,030
Your last joke took my breath away.

982
00:46:31,710 --> 00:46:34,356
Uh, we have a tradition
here, uh, where Che and I give

983
00:46:34,357 --> 00:46:36,451
each other jokes to read
at the end of the season.

984
00:46:39,470 --> 00:46:42,033
We're making each
other read jokes live on air

985
00:46:42,034 --> 00:46:45,431
that the other person
has never seen before.

986
00:46:45,610 --> 00:46:50,869
But before we start, it's
SNL's 50th season, so I want to

987
00:46:50,870 --> 00:46:54,830
take a moment to say something
to our boss, Lorne Michaels.

988
00:46:56,451 --> 00:46:58,430
Lorne, retire, bitch!

989
00:47:01,250 --> 00:47:03,070
Let me run the show.

990
00:47:04,670 --> 00:47:06,570
Wow. Out the gate, Colin.

991
00:47:06,730 --> 00:47:09,030
Well, maybe you should
just tell your first joke.

992
00:47:09,130 --> 00:47:09,630
How about that?

993
00:47:09,790 --> 00:47:11,110
Oh, I get to do another.

994
00:47:11,290 --> 00:47:12,730
Yeah, yeah, tell a joke, man.

995
00:47:13,850 --> 00:47:16,819
CBS has premiered the
first hour-long daytime

996
00:47:16,820 --> 00:47:20,350
soap opera with a
predominantly Black cast.

997
00:47:20,650 --> 00:47:25,510
It'll air when Black people are
home from work 24 hours a day.

998
00:47:32,900 --> 00:47:36,740
Since you liked that, here's another.

999
00:47:38,040 --> 00:47:41,337
CBS has premiered the
first half-hour-long daytime

1000
00:47:41,338 --> 00:47:44,760
soap opera with a
predominantly Black cast.

1001
00:47:44,761 --> 00:47:49,080
It's called, All My Children Don't Know
Who Their Daddy is.

1002
00:47:54,280 --> 00:47:57,940
Movie theaters are trying to stop
teenagers from screaming and throwing

1003
00:47:57,941 --> 00:48:01,313
popcorn during the Minecraft
scene with the chicken

1004
00:48:01,314 --> 00:48:04,740
jockey, because some of
us are trying to masturbate.

1005
00:48:06,240 --> 00:48:09,040
But seriously,
Minecraft was a great movie.

1006
00:48:09,041 --> 00:48:14,340
I haven't been that excited since I saw
a white woman drink unattended.

1007
00:48:20,033 --> 00:48:22,233
That must have been so exciting for you.

1008
00:48:28,470 --> 00:48:29,490
It could be anything.

1009
00:48:31,910 --> 00:48:35,823
A new study finds that the
hoots and grunts of bonobos

1010
00:48:35,824 --> 00:48:39,550
show signs of complex thoughts
similar to human language.

1011
00:48:40,269 --> 00:48:43,089
Oh, so like that awful halftime show?

1012
00:48:51,360 --> 00:48:53,655
You know, before I tell
another joke, I want to take

1013
00:48:53,656 --> 00:48:56,080
this opportunity to
apologize to someone I hurt.

1014
00:48:56,560 --> 00:48:58,120
Scarlett, can you come out here?

1015
00:49:04,210 --> 00:49:05,270
I don't like this.

1016
00:49:05,390 --> 00:49:08,750
You know, last time we did Joke Swap,
I made Colin do some tasteless jokes.

1017
00:49:09,310 --> 00:49:12,310
Comparing your vagina
to Costco roast beef.

1018
00:49:13,610 --> 00:49:14,910
Yes, I remember that.

1019
00:49:16,016 --> 00:49:19,436
Well, the fact is, I was just lashing out
because I'm jealous.

1020
00:49:20,230 --> 00:49:22,530
I've never even seen a human vagina.

1021
00:49:24,770 --> 00:49:26,530
And notice I said human.

1022
00:49:27,930 --> 00:49:30,550
Because I once spent
the summer on a farm.

1023
00:49:31,410 --> 00:49:32,410
You feel me?

1024
00:49:34,990 --> 00:49:37,350
Maybe I'm just embarrassed
about my own body.

1025
00:49:37,470 --> 00:49:39,221
I can't even take my
hoodie off during sex

1026
00:49:39,222 --> 00:49:41,911
because I have more
nipples than a pregnant dog.

1027
00:49:43,930 --> 00:49:45,670
Yes, I have heard that about you.

1028
00:49:45,770 --> 00:49:49,110
And Colin, I'm sorry too,
because I owe you everything.

1029
00:49:49,510 --> 00:49:50,510
Aww.

1030
00:49:50,670 --> 00:49:54,650
When Colin discovered me,
I was selling crack outside the Bronx.

1031
00:49:56,710 --> 00:50:00,790
And now look at me, selling crack outside
the American Girl doll store.

1032
00:50:02,570 --> 00:50:06,610
I've told thousands of jokes on Update
and gotten dozens of laughs.

1033
00:50:07,570 --> 00:50:11,430
But I've never said the three most
important words of all.

1034
00:50:12,017 --> 00:50:13,496
I love you.

1035
00:50:15,432 --> 00:50:17,558
Aw...
Love you, too.

1036
00:50:20,417 --> 00:50:22,279
Love you too, buddy.
I love you too.

1037
00:50:22,460 --> 00:50:24,300
Oh, well, um, yeah.

1038
00:50:25,220 --> 00:50:26,220
Okay.

1039
00:50:26,376 --> 00:50:30,285
But before I continue,
Golden State Warriors

1040
00:50:30,310 --> 00:50:33,980
head coach Steve Kerr
is here with his family.

1041
00:50:34,920 --> 00:50:38,680
I got to meet his son,
Nick, and I love Steve.

1042
00:50:38,681 --> 00:50:40,420
I like Nick.

1043
00:50:42,460 --> 00:50:45,760
But I wouldn't say I'm a Nick Kerr lover.

1044
00:50:55,680 --> 00:50:58,320
Says besides the point,
Colin, but sure.

1045
00:51:02,700 --> 00:51:09,400
Some psychologists say adults can reduce
stress by returning to a childhood hobby,

1046
00:51:09,540 --> 00:51:13,409
which is why I return to
my favorite childhood hobby,

1047
00:51:13,410 --> 00:51:16,180
topping off priests with
my pretty little mouth.

1048
00:51:22,030 --> 00:51:23,770
Speaking of which...

1049
00:51:41,516 --> 00:51:44,696
Lorne, I'll do anything to run this show.

1050
00:51:48,559 --> 00:51:50,361
For Weekend Update
I'm Michael Che

1051
00:51:50,399 --> 00:51:52,319
I'm Colin Jost
Goodnight!

1052
00:52:06,820 --> 00:52:07,835
All right, everyone.

1053
00:52:07,860 --> 00:52:11,500
Welcome to day one of
shooting Penelope's Secret.

1054
00:52:11,900 --> 00:52:12,380
Yes.

1055
00:52:12,800 --> 00:52:18,480
It's a romance about two women in the 50s
who fall deeply in love.

1056
00:52:18,481 --> 00:52:20,480
And yes, I'm the director.

1057
00:52:20,481 --> 00:52:22,940
And yes, I am a man.

1058
00:52:22,941 --> 00:52:23,941
Sorry.

1059
00:52:25,000 --> 00:52:27,848
Why don't I throw to our
assistant director who,

1060
00:52:27,849 --> 00:52:31,780
and this will make you
all feel better, is a woman.

1061
00:52:32,160 --> 00:52:33,160
Yay, woman!

1062
00:52:34,600 --> 00:52:35,260
Thanks, Greg.

1063
00:52:35,480 --> 00:52:36,760
Actually, I'm non-binary.

1064
00:52:37,020 --> 00:52:37,400
Oops.

1065
00:52:37,740 --> 00:52:38,740
Sorry.

1066
00:52:39,760 --> 00:52:42,599
Okay, so our first scene
up today will be the one

1067
00:52:42,600 --> 00:52:45,540
where Penelope and Madam
Wilcox first become intimate.

1068
00:52:45,860 --> 00:52:48,857
And to make sure everyone
feels safe and comfortable,

1069
00:52:48,858 --> 00:52:51,621
we've brought in two
intimacy coordinators.

1070
00:52:51,660 --> 00:52:53,500
Guys, want to introduce yourselves?

1071
00:52:53,820 --> 00:52:53,980
Yep.

1072
00:52:54,340 --> 00:52:54,840
Hi, everyone.

1073
00:52:54,960 --> 00:52:55,540
I'm Trish.

1074
00:52:55,740 --> 00:52:59,900
And this is an insane coincidence,
but my name is also Madam Wilcox.

1075
00:53:01,420 --> 00:53:03,120
Well, thanks for being here, you guys.

1076
00:53:03,420 --> 00:53:04,300
Thanks for having us.

1077
00:53:04,301 --> 00:53:05,580
Uh, now where's our cast?

1078
00:53:05,800 --> 00:53:07,100
Uh, right over here.

1079
00:53:07,320 --> 00:53:09,540
This is Annabelle, and this is Rachel.

1080
00:53:10,280 --> 00:53:11,280
Great to meet you.

1081
00:53:12,240 --> 00:53:13,640
So, where's the dude?

1082
00:53:14,660 --> 00:53:16,400
Oh, uh, there's no dude.

1083
00:53:16,620 --> 00:53:17,780
Just the two women.

1084
00:53:18,000 --> 00:53:18,680
Oh, okay.

1085
00:53:18,700 --> 00:53:19,920
So it's just a kissing scene.

1086
00:53:20,120 --> 00:53:20,380
Okay.

1087
00:53:20,560 --> 00:53:20,780
All right.

1088
00:53:20,920 --> 00:53:21,140
All right.

1089
00:53:21,280 --> 00:53:22,280
That's great.

1090
00:53:22,380 --> 00:53:25,820
No, guys, it's a full love scene
between two women.

1091
00:53:27,509 --> 00:53:28,282
But...

1092
00:53:29,195 --> 00:53:30,700
how would that even work?

1093
00:53:33,174 --> 00:53:34,174
What do you mean?

1094
00:53:34,326 --> 00:53:38,626
Oh, no, he's just confused because he
doesn't get how two buns make a hot dog.

1095
00:53:39,340 --> 00:53:40,140
I get it.

1096
00:53:40,200 --> 00:53:40,580
I love it.

1097
00:53:40,860 --> 00:53:43,800
But wait, like, two donuts isn't
exactly a balanced breakfast.

1098
00:53:44,500 --> 00:53:46,560
It's simply too much tunnel,
not enough train.

1099
00:53:48,500 --> 00:53:50,100
Okay, uh, I'm sorry.

1100
00:53:50,320 --> 00:53:53,320
Have you guys never worked
on a queer set before?

1101
00:53:53,321 --> 00:53:58,140
Or as us allies like to call it,
an overdue set.

1102
00:53:58,360 --> 00:53:59,060
Am I right?

1103
00:53:59,280 --> 00:53:59,700
Yeah!

1104
00:54:00,260 --> 00:54:01,260
Okay, uh, okay.

1105
00:54:01,500 --> 00:54:02,700
Just get it together.

1106
00:54:02,920 --> 00:54:03,640
Whoops, I'm sorry.

1107
00:54:03,760 --> 00:54:05,660
Yeah, of course, we've
worked on queer sets.

1108
00:54:05,780 --> 00:54:07,980
I mean, I myself am ally passing.

1109
00:54:09,720 --> 00:54:11,980
But it's different for girls, right?

1110
00:54:12,320 --> 00:54:13,880
Like, gay guys, I get.

1111
00:54:14,060 --> 00:54:15,620
A butt is basically a vajooj.

1112
00:54:16,860 --> 00:54:17,860
I'm sorry.

1113
00:54:18,040 --> 00:54:20,360
Do you think lesbians don't have sex?

1114
00:54:21,039 --> 00:54:24,119
Oh, well, I hope this isn't
offensive, but real sex?

1115
00:54:24,240 --> 00:54:24,555
No.

1116
00:54:24,580 --> 00:54:25,180
No, I don't.

1117
00:54:25,440 --> 00:54:26,180
You know what?

1118
00:54:26,181 --> 00:54:28,596
He's just having trouble
understanding how you'd

1119
00:54:28,597 --> 00:54:30,760
pay without putting a
credit card in a reader.

1120
00:54:31,200 --> 00:54:31,760
Oh!

1121
00:54:32,140 --> 00:54:34,680
Is it like Apple Pay, where you just tap
vagoo-goos?

1122
00:54:36,755 --> 00:54:38,155
I'm sorry, dude.

1123
00:54:38,180 --> 00:54:39,180
Vagoo-goos?

1124
00:54:39,740 --> 00:54:41,020
Seriously, my guy?

1125
00:54:41,220 --> 00:54:45,120
This is highly offensive to lesbian folks.

1126
00:54:45,740 --> 00:54:47,960
Actually, that's not totally wrong.

1127
00:54:48,800 --> 00:54:50,760
Ugh, she's so annoying.

1128
00:54:51,480 --> 00:54:52,000
Dude!

1129
00:54:52,480 --> 00:54:55,160
Sorry, they are so annoying.

1130
00:54:55,800 --> 00:54:56,540
You know what?

1131
00:54:56,760 --> 00:54:58,540
Maybe just try to picture it, madame.

1132
00:54:59,420 --> 00:55:00,660
I guess I could give it a shot.

1133
00:55:02,840 --> 00:55:03,840
Oh.

1134
00:55:05,660 --> 00:55:06,660
Uh-huh.

1135
00:55:08,580 --> 00:55:09,980
Well, that is nice.

1136
00:55:11,212 --> 00:55:14,573
Um, you know, perhaps
there's some online videos

1137
00:55:14,606 --> 00:55:17,464
of two ladies that I could
watch as further research.

1138
00:55:17,500 --> 00:55:20,340
Yeah, I think I'm gonna go watch some
videos of two ladies right now.

1139
00:55:20,520 --> 00:55:21,520
Uh-huh.

1140
00:55:23,900 --> 00:55:24,900
Wow, okay.

1141
00:55:25,160 --> 00:55:27,540
He was in a hurry.

1142
00:55:27,820 --> 00:55:28,480
What's a Wi-Fi?

1143
00:55:28,600 --> 00:55:29,600
Wait, what's the Wi-Fi?

1144
00:55:29,772 --> 00:55:30,192
What's the Wi-Fi?

1145
00:55:30,280 --> 00:55:30,720
What's the Wi-Fi?

1146
00:55:30,820 --> 00:55:31,280
What's the Wi-Fi?

1147
00:55:31,380 --> 00:55:32,520
STPA!

1148
00:55:32,800 --> 00:55:33,800
Okay.

1149
00:55:34,240 --> 00:55:36,140
Guys, we gotta get going here.

1150
00:55:36,240 --> 00:55:37,436
Can we move on with the scene?

1151
00:55:37,460 --> 00:55:38,160
Yep, you know what?

1152
00:55:38,460 --> 00:55:39,460
Let's just do it.

1153
00:55:59,640 --> 00:56:00,460
What's up, fans?

1154
00:56:00,640 --> 00:56:04,500
This is TV Takes, where we talk to your
favorite cast from your favorite shows.

1155
00:56:04,820 --> 00:56:06,000
Yep, and we're so excited.

1156
00:56:06,140 --> 00:56:08,480
This was our most requested
show this year.

1157
00:56:08,660 --> 00:56:11,700
Joining us today is the cast of the hit
romance, Summer Lake.

1158
00:56:13,560 --> 00:56:13,920
Hey!

1159
00:56:13,921 --> 00:56:15,041
Thanks for being here, guys.

1160
00:56:15,340 --> 00:56:17,520
We've got a ton of questions
for the whole cast.

1161
00:56:17,720 --> 00:56:19,760
There's so much that the
fans are dying to know.

1162
00:56:19,920 --> 00:56:23,260
But we gotta start with the Internet's
boyfriend, Danny Cheeks.

1163
00:56:23,261 --> 00:56:24,660
Oh, hey, guys.

1164
00:56:24,900 --> 00:56:25,900
It's me.

1165
00:56:27,360 --> 00:56:29,060
So, Danny, first question's for you.

1166
00:56:29,160 --> 00:56:31,860
Your character is always wearing his
signature hoodies.

1167
00:56:32,120 --> 00:56:33,460
Were those from your real closet?

1168
00:56:33,820 --> 00:56:37,700
Oh, nah, I wish, but the wardrobe
department knew what was up.

1169
00:56:37,980 --> 00:56:38,880
They really did.

1170
00:56:38,960 --> 00:56:41,080
And next question, Danny,
how did you get into acting?

1171
00:56:41,440 --> 00:56:44,220
Well, I love watching TV,
so I wanted to try it.

1172
00:56:45,940 --> 00:56:47,880
And our next question is for you,
Rachelle.

1173
00:56:48,060 --> 00:56:50,060
What's harder, being
a woman or being black?

1174
00:56:50,061 --> 00:56:51,380
Oh, wow.

1175
00:56:51,580 --> 00:56:52,740
That's my question?

1176
00:56:53,600 --> 00:56:54,080
Yep.

1177
00:56:54,400 --> 00:56:55,480
So, let's go back to Danny.

1178
00:56:55,660 --> 00:56:57,340
Was it fun shooting at the lake?

1179
00:56:57,700 --> 00:56:58,060
Huh.

1180
00:56:58,240 --> 00:57:00,040
It was fun, but it was hot.

1181
00:57:00,700 --> 00:57:01,940
Yeah, it looked hot.

1182
00:57:02,360 --> 00:57:04,500
And, Jade, when's the
last time you took Plan B?

1183
00:57:05,380 --> 00:57:05,860
Whoa!

1184
00:57:06,240 --> 00:57:07,240
Don't ask that.

1185
00:57:07,880 --> 00:57:08,360
Okay.

1186
00:57:08,740 --> 00:57:11,380
So, Danny, do you have
a favorite on-set snack?

1187
00:57:11,381 --> 00:57:13,280
Aw, man, that's hard.

1188
00:57:13,560 --> 00:57:15,700
Uh, maybe pretzels?

1189
00:57:16,380 --> 00:57:17,380
Ooh, nice.

1190
00:57:17,640 --> 00:57:18,100
Salty.

1191
00:57:18,420 --> 00:57:21,760
And now, Cassie, you're not as attractive
as the other cast members.

1192
00:57:23,520 --> 00:57:24,800
That's not a question.

1193
00:57:25,920 --> 00:57:27,360
That's what the fans are saying.

1194
00:57:27,620 --> 00:57:29,580
So, Danny, who are you dating these days?

1195
00:57:29,980 --> 00:57:31,580
Oh, I don't kiss and tell.

1196
00:57:31,880 --> 00:57:33,240
Of course, that's private.

1197
00:57:33,660 --> 00:57:35,760
So, Taylor, you just had
a really bad divorce.

1198
00:57:35,761 --> 00:57:38,140
Whose fault was it,
you or your husband's?

1199
00:57:39,240 --> 00:57:41,820
It was a girl,
and it was my fault.

1200
00:57:42,280 --> 00:57:43,280
Aw.

1201
00:57:43,760 --> 00:57:45,640
Wait, Danny, is it fun having abs?

1202
00:57:46,240 --> 00:57:47,420
Yeah, I love it.

1203
00:57:48,440 --> 00:57:51,040
Sorry, why can't we get
questions like that?

1204
00:57:51,160 --> 00:57:52,600
Okay, Cassie, here's a fun one.

1205
00:57:52,895 --> 00:57:53,995
You recently got married.

1206
00:57:54,020 --> 00:57:54,715
Congrats.

1207
00:57:54,740 --> 00:57:56,800
So, why isn't your husband a Ukrainian
refugee?

1208
00:57:57,620 --> 00:57:59,400
That wasn't a fun one.

1209
00:58:00,540 --> 00:58:01,540
I had fun.

1210
00:58:03,066 --> 00:58:05,586
Danny, when's the last time
you laughed really hard?

1211
00:58:06,240 --> 00:58:07,820
Watching TikTok pranks.

1212
00:58:08,960 --> 00:58:10,140
Rochelle, we go to you.

1213
00:58:10,300 --> 00:58:13,140
Deadline reported that you're being
written out of the show next season.

1214
00:58:13,166 --> 00:58:14,766
Is it because someone
leaked your nudes?

1215
00:58:15,200 --> 00:58:19,020
Um, I'm just learning about all parts of
that right now.

1216
00:58:20,020 --> 00:58:20,500
Really?

1217
00:58:20,720 --> 00:58:21,720
It's everywhere.

1218
00:58:21,960 --> 00:58:23,760
Now, Danny, what's your favorite?

1219
00:58:25,180 --> 00:58:26,180
Everything.

1220
00:58:26,440 --> 00:58:27,440
Oh, Danny.

1221
00:58:28,020 --> 00:58:30,020
Hold up, am I being
written out of the show?

1222
00:58:30,140 --> 00:58:31,220
Rochelle, drop it.

1223
00:58:32,540 --> 00:58:33,440
Next question.

1224
00:58:33,441 --> 00:58:36,120
Jade, who's your favorite
cast member to party with?

1225
00:58:36,560 --> 00:58:38,040
Aw, that actually is fun.

1226
00:58:38,240 --> 00:58:39,680
I love going out with Taylor.

1227
00:58:40,140 --> 00:58:41,140
Aw, same.

1228
00:58:41,300 --> 00:58:43,563
And Jade, if you could
vote one religion off

1229
00:58:43,564 --> 00:58:45,680
the face of the earth,
which one would you pick?

1230
00:58:46,420 --> 00:58:47,560
No, pass.

1231
00:58:47,820 --> 00:58:48,680
Okay, here's another.

1232
00:58:48,840 --> 00:58:50,280
How come all of your exes are white?

1233
00:58:51,420 --> 00:58:52,420
Pass.

1234
00:58:53,595 --> 00:58:56,275
And Cassie, you good face but bad hair.

1235
00:58:56,300 --> 00:58:57,300
You have mental problem?

1236
00:58:58,460 --> 00:58:59,540
Excuse me?

1237
00:59:00,000 --> 00:59:01,000
Pass.

1238
00:59:01,460 --> 00:59:04,240
And Rochelle, what are you gonna do now
that you're unemployed?

1239
00:59:05,100 --> 00:59:06,360
Is that confirmed?

1240
00:59:07,975 --> 00:59:08,515
Yes.

1241
00:59:08,540 --> 00:59:10,140
And Danny, music or pictures?

1242
00:59:11,146 --> 00:59:12,146
Music.

1243
00:59:13,129 --> 00:59:17,815
And finally, to all the women, gun to
your head, why do lesbians dress like that?

1244
00:59:18,115 --> 00:59:19,195
What do you mean?

1245
00:59:19,220 --> 00:59:20,080
Now, let me rephrase.

1246
00:59:20,180 --> 00:59:21,935
If a lesbian was raised
in a lab and never saw

1247
00:59:21,936 --> 00:59:24,741
another person, would
she still dress like that?

1248
00:59:25,695 --> 00:59:26,935
You know what's crazy?

1249
00:59:26,960 --> 00:59:29,420
This is the best interview
we've done so far.

1250
00:59:29,421 --> 00:59:31,180
Man, we're out of time.

1251
00:59:31,480 --> 00:59:32,480
This was awesome.

1252
00:59:32,540 --> 00:59:33,560
I wish we had more time.

1253
00:59:33,840 --> 00:59:34,600
Aw, me too.

1254
00:59:34,860 --> 00:59:35,860
Yeah, me too.

1255
00:59:36,640 --> 00:59:38,740
This was really, really interesting.

1256
00:59:38,800 --> 00:59:40,040
Hey, that's what I thought.

1257
00:59:40,260 --> 00:59:41,260
Oh my gosh, same.

1258
00:59:41,520 --> 00:59:42,860
Thanks for watching, everyone.

1259
00:59:43,100 --> 00:59:44,660
And make sure to join our Discord.

1260
00:59:44,940 --> 00:59:48,400
We're gonna post Danny's baby pics and
everyone else's old tweets.

1261
00:59:49,060 --> 00:59:50,800
Why are you doing that?

1262
00:59:51,300 --> 00:59:53,800
I was cute and I still am.

1263
01:00:10,949 --> 01:00:12,689
Once again, Bad Bunny.

1264
01:03:10,259 --> 01:03:13,619
And now, Victorian ladies at lunch.

1265
01:03:14,700 --> 01:03:18,768
Oh, it is so wonderful
to see you all again.

1266
01:03:19,026 --> 01:03:21,546
I do so treasure our lunches together.

1267
01:03:21,700 --> 01:03:24,595
And your chef is magnificent.

1268
01:03:24,620 --> 01:03:27,155
Look at this incredible feast.

1269
01:03:27,180 --> 01:03:31,535
Oh, I do say I'm as hungry as the horse
that brought me over here.

1270
01:03:31,675 --> 01:03:33,815
And it's a new horse, I've heard.

1271
01:03:33,840 --> 01:03:34,880
How fast is he again?

1272
01:03:34,881 --> 01:03:36,620
About one horse power.

1273
01:03:38,586 --> 01:03:40,715
Hello, ladies.

1274
01:03:40,740 --> 01:03:42,435
Is everything to your liking?

1275
01:03:42,460 --> 01:03:49,435
Well, I see blood pudding and pickles
cows' feet, so I'm in heaven.

1276
01:03:49,653 --> 01:03:50,293
Excellent.

1277
01:03:50,400 --> 01:03:53,030
And how are the jellied eels today?

1278
01:03:53,200 --> 01:03:54,240
Oh, exquisite.

1279
01:03:54,460 --> 01:03:57,776
We take the whole eel
and just smother it in jelly.

1280
01:03:58,539 --> 01:04:01,759
I can't wait to taste that texture.

1281
01:04:02,260 --> 01:04:04,620
And the candied clams.

1282
01:04:04,860 --> 01:04:05,860
Are they fresh?

1283
01:04:05,900 --> 01:04:06,900
Oh, absolutely.

1284
01:04:07,080 --> 01:04:10,580
They arrived last Wednesday and we've
kept them in an open wooden box.

1285
01:04:13,680 --> 01:04:16,140
And the boiled calf's head?

1286
01:04:16,160 --> 01:04:16,700
Yes?

1287
01:04:16,701 --> 01:04:19,580
Was that a change in a humane fashion?

1288
01:04:20,060 --> 01:04:20,640
Ha, ha, ha, ha.

1289
01:04:20,900 --> 01:04:21,680
Not at all.

1290
01:04:21,900 --> 01:04:26,160
And girls, what type of birds
will we be eating today?

1291
01:04:26,360 --> 01:04:29,540
Oh, the most upsetting ones, my lady.

1292
01:04:30,500 --> 01:04:34,980
Eagles, hummingbirds, penguins, and I
believe we still have a few baby puffins.

1293
01:04:34,981 --> 01:04:37,260
No, not anymore, you don't.

1294
01:04:37,400 --> 01:04:38,960
Yummy, yummy in my tummy.

1295
01:04:45,820 --> 01:04:48,220
And the BLT.

1296
01:04:48,940 --> 01:04:50,460
What's in that again?

1297
01:04:50,980 --> 01:04:53,080
Bunnies and little turtles.

1298
01:04:54,300 --> 01:04:56,100
And the Turkey Club.

1299
01:04:56,260 --> 01:04:57,780
What was it, Cloud Twins?

1300
01:04:57,781 --> 01:05:00,520
Why, the Bible, of course.

1301
01:05:02,100 --> 01:05:05,020
And what was that special on the menu?

1302
01:05:05,160 --> 01:05:06,160
Panda Express?

1303
01:05:06,460 --> 01:05:10,080
Ah, yes, it's a panda that we
pushed in front of a train.

1304
01:05:11,320 --> 01:05:13,340
That's how I want to go.

1305
01:05:16,960 --> 01:05:19,240
Oh, it's so delicious.

1306
01:05:19,960 --> 01:05:21,100
Yummy, it's delicious.

1307
01:05:21,520 --> 01:05:22,520
Indeed.

1308
01:05:22,600 --> 01:05:24,580
Yummy, it's delicious.

1309
01:05:30,070 --> 01:05:33,130
I love, I love this hamster sashimi.

1310
01:05:33,131 --> 01:05:35,190
Wonderful, wonderful.

1311
01:05:35,690 --> 01:05:38,310
Now, before I go, anything to drink?

1312
01:05:39,610 --> 01:05:44,110
I think four brimming glasses
of donkey's milk will do.

1313
01:05:44,310 --> 01:05:45,310
Right, lady?

1314
01:05:45,770 --> 01:05:47,630
Indeed, yeah, indeed.

1315
01:05:48,170 --> 01:05:51,410
And that's donkey's milk, Gerald.

1316
01:05:51,770 --> 01:05:54,050
Don't make that mistake again.

1317
01:05:55,410 --> 01:05:58,230
Well, you understand why
it took so long last time.

1318
01:05:59,616 --> 01:06:01,736
Ladies, bon appetit.

1319
01:06:02,629 --> 01:06:16,432
Three hours later

1320
01:06:16,820 --> 01:06:20,340
so, what did everyone do after lunch?

1321
01:06:20,840 --> 01:06:23,740
I went to the bathroom.

1322
01:06:24,480 --> 01:06:26,600
I went to the bathroom as well.

1323
01:06:27,160 --> 01:06:29,860
I went numbers two through seven.

1324
01:06:31,020 --> 01:06:33,700
And how was it for everyone?

1325
01:06:34,260 --> 01:06:35,980
Mine was bad.

1326
01:06:35,981 --> 01:06:38,640
Mine was the worst it could be.

1327
01:06:39,320 --> 01:06:43,380
I was wearing so many layers
and I did not get any of them off.

1328
01:06:45,280 --> 01:06:51,900
I think the jellied eel came out whole
and jumped back into the sink.

1329
01:06:53,200 --> 01:06:54,280
Yum, yum, yum!

1330
01:06:54,800 --> 01:06:56,840
Are the ladies ready to order dinner?

1331
01:06:57,939 --> 01:07:00,819
I mean, I guess we could
spit something small.

1332
01:07:00,960 --> 01:07:02,320
Perhaps a hot dog?

1333
01:07:02,920 --> 01:07:03,440
Wonderful.

1334
01:07:03,660 --> 01:07:05,940
I'll get the poodle into
the jacuzzi right away.

1335
01:07:06,174 --> 01:07:08,554
Oh, my God!

1336
01:07:08,900 --> 01:07:09,900
Pepto-Bismol.

1337
01:07:10,080 --> 01:07:13,640
Settle down your stomach with the
only medicine that's made with, Oh, God!

1338
01:07:13,820 --> 01:07:14,820
Flamingos?

1339
01:07:23,126 --> 01:07:24,030
Oh, no!

1340
01:07:33,027 --> 01:07:37,096
Thank you Bad Bunny,
Mike Myers

1341
01:07:38,127 --> 01:07:40,127
I want to thank you
and congratulations

1342
01:07:40,152 --> 01:07:43,815
to the incredible cast and
crew for these 50 years.

1343
01:07:43,840 --> 01:07:44,420
So amazing.

1344
01:07:44,620 --> 01:07:46,745
Lorne Michaels, wherever
you are, you're not going

1345
01:07:46,746 --> 01:07:48,761
to want me to single you
out, but congratulations.

1346
01:07:48,860 --> 01:07:50,540
You are a singular man.

1347
01:07:50,720 --> 01:07:52,480
We love you and thank you!

1348
01:07:57,698 --> 01:07:59,578
By CharadaBR

1349
01:08:00,305 --> 01:09:00,347
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