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Ladies and gentlemen,

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Tina Fey!

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Thank you very much.

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I am honored to be here.

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Uh, I was a writer here
for nine years,

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and I've always
thought of myself

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more of a writer
than as a performer.

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Oh, boy. Oh, boy.

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You know, Tina,

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I was once small like you.

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People forget that I got
my start as a writer,

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and why did they forget?

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Because I wanted them
to forget.

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Look at you,
all slouched over

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like a writer, all apologetic.

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Look at those writers.
Don't end up like them.

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Do you think that the writers

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get the credit
that they deserve?

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Absolutely not.

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No.

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I don't... I don't think so.

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Well, no.

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No. No.

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No, I don't think so at all.

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Oh, dear.

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You've really stepped
on a land mine here.

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People don't
think about the writers,

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you know what I mean?

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It's like the second-class
citizen.

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They're not valued in any way.

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I believe our names
roll by extremely fast,

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uh, over shots
of the castmates hugging

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and meeting the famous people.

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They're like,
oh, the sad writers

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that you never see.

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Let me introduce myself.

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I'm Gags Beasley.
I'm a comedy writer.

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- The name ring a bell?
- No.

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I usually work straight through
the day until dinner,

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and I don't eat lunch because
I really can't afford it.

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What's it like looking like
the last three guys

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a lesbian sleeps with
before coming out?

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In general, people,
when they watch an SNL sketch,

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they don't think of the writer
behind the sketch at all.

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I've had people
come up to me and say,

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"SNL is so good, but how much
of it is improvised?"

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And I have to say, like,

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"One percent, maybe?"

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Goddamn!

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I think in general,

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people just think the actors
say what they want.

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It just comes out as funny,

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and there's a coherent story
there somehow.

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Do you need anything from us
about vampires?

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No.

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But there is a team of writers.

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We don't always send them out
there with the best material,

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but it is written,
for the most part.

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And when it's done well...

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...most people think,
as it should be,

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that the actors
made up their words,

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which is the greatest compliment
to a writer,

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and also the greatest burn
at the same time.

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Roll it!

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I will say I loved it
more than any job I ever had.

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And I'm so glad
it's not my current job.

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My highest highs
and my lowest lows,

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honey, were at that show.

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I like the sea of fire
you get thrown into.

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Writers are always
gonna write turds.

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They're always
gonna write jewels.

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And it's just the spin
of the wheel,

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you know, every week.

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Five, four, three, two...

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Hit it.

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- I think we're gonna do it.
- Sounds good.

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So, uh, I had a pretty
interesting Sunday.

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What's up, everybody?
Welcome back.

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Yeah, good show. Nice work.

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And if we could do it again,
that would be wonderful.

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As a writer,

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your Monday depends on how your
show the previous Saturday went.

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If you had a great show,
maybe you're coming in Monday

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very excited and looking
for a couple "attaboys."

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If you had a terrible show,
maybe you're coming in

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a little bit of a shell...

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...and with the hopes
to redeem yourself.

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But either way,

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you're very quickly
onto the new show, the new host.

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We just talked to her.
She's a delight.

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She's down
for pretty much anything.

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She just wants to kind of play
with the cast.

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Yeah. She said she's
willing to attempt to sing.

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Not the greatest singer,
but is happy to do it.

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And I think she can do
a lot of different things,

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like voices and stuff.

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They tell us what the host

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is interested in doing

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and what they can do.

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What accents? Can they sing?
Can they dance?

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Um, just stay away
from this topic.

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They would love to joke
about this thing.

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So it's just giving us
an idea of how we should

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tailor our writing.

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And then we'll all
walk down the hall and line up.

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You can just--

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You can see the anxiety
starting to build.

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And all the cast and writers
pile into Lorne's office.

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And then we meet the host.

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And we go around the room
and we pitch an idea,

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and it's in the format of, like,

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maybe you're a...

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Maybe you're a Boston
Duck Boat driver,

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and you're giving
your safety speech,

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but you've forgotten
the word "ejected,"

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so you keep telling people
what to do

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in the unlikely event
they get ejaculated.

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Maybe you play a character
called the Cocky Dyslexic.

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And, uh...

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So you're like,
"Yeah, I'm a billionaire.

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Billionaire with a V."

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I would say half of the things
you're pitching

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are probably something
you thought of on the toilet

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right as you're walking
into the pitch meeting.

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Those meetings
were just bullshit.

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You would just make up stuff.

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You'd take two words,
you put them together, you know?

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Uh... sneaker farm.

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I want to do a thing
called sneaker farm, okay?

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"Fuck, now I gotta think
of what a sneaker farm is."

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It's absolute
smoke and mirrors.

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We're trying to trick the host
into making them think

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that we've been thinking
about them for a long time.

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I was thinking maybe
you play a new superhero,

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but your superpowers is that

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you've had three
espresso martinis.

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Most of the ideas
you pitch are fake.

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If you actually did
have a good idea,

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you would never pitch it
because you would want

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the joke to be fresh
at the table read,

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which isn't for another
two days.

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The point of it is for the host

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to feel like,

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"Oh, I'm in good hands,

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and these guys
are really funny."

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The staff
is definitely made up

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from a variety of people
working in comedy.

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So, you know,
there's a bunch of stand-ups.

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There's a bunch of improvisers.

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There's a bunch
of whatever I am.

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You know, like people have
all these weird backgrounds.

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I know it's kind
of crazy, but yeah,

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I was a dental receptionist
before I worked here.

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So I quit my dentist job on,
like, it was like a Monday.

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And then by Saturday,

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something I wrote was,
like, on TV.

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Yeah.

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Listen, you're talking
to a stand-up,

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so it's easy to write comedy
for me.

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I think Alex auditioned.

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I know he worked at
the Top of the Rock tour thing

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so he was already
in the building.

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Thank God.

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Jimmy and I both started
writing here last year.

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When I first met you,
remember, and I was like,

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"Oh, my God,
I can't believe we're here."

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And she was like, "Yeah, like,
hopefully I don't get fired."

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And I was like,

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"We're not getting fired.

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We are gonna seriously explode."

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She's back there
churning out ideas,

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and Jimmy's out there
selling them.

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I think he used to be
a go-go dancer, though.

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You should ask him.
I can't verify that.

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Wait. What?

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I mean, I came up through UCB
here in New York,

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so I auditioned as a performer,
and they hired me as a writer.

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I went to NYU for playwriting

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and was like,
"Great, this is it.

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I'm gonna be a playwright,

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and write about things
that really matter."

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And then basically
immediately got, like,

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the most corporate comedy job.

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Celeste was a playwright.
August was a poet.

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Sort of like kind of weird stuff

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that you wouldn't necessarily
think is a straight line

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into sketch comedy writing.

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But I do think
it kind of takes a mix

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of all those types of people
to kind of get this thing

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on TV every week.

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Maybe you're part
of a three-documentary

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film crew pileup

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where, like, one group
follows you around

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and you run into two friends,
and they each have crews.

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All right, nice job last week.

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Let's start.

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How are you feeling?

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There's an anxiety
after Monday pitch

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because the next day
there's gonna be

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40 to 50 sketches written
by everybody,

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and you hope that one of yours
will be selected.

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But the panic, I find,

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doesn't set in until Tuesday.

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00:10:04,671 --> 00:10:06,039
Yup.

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There's a kind of weird,
scary calmness to Tuesday nights

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where it's like,

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everybody has
the same job to do.

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Which is, like, write whatever
they think is the funniest.

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Most arrogant thing to write.

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And...

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it's like it's not over
till it's over.

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And it's over when, like,
every sketch is submitted.

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Tuesday's our hardest night,
uh, for writers.

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I come in usually, like, 12:30,

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and I go home at,
like, 3:00 a.m.

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I probably get to bed
around 4:00 or 5:00 a.m.

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Pretty crazy, like,
I'll usually go to bed

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at, like, 6:30 on a Tuesday,

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which is not good
for my mental health.

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And I will say, like,
this has been, like,

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the most incredible experience,
working here, ever,

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and my mental health
has never been worse.

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I hated it.

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I hated it because
when I got to work on Tuesday,

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I knew I wouldn't get to sleep
until Wednesday, okay?

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Writing comedy is
either easy or it's impossible.

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And if it's easy,
it's really fun.

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And if it's impossible,
it's terrible

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because you can't think
of anything,

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and that's your job.

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You know, I've been
doing stand-up since I was 17.

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And if somebody said,

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"What's your process
for writing a joke?"

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I'd be like, "I don't know."

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00:12:15,135 --> 00:12:18,438
But if I forced myself
to sit down,

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something will come from it.

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Um...

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00:12:23,610 --> 00:12:25,111
Okay, so, like, um...

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Oh, I have an idea where
I thought, um,

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you could be the Tooth Fairy

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00:12:31,918 --> 00:12:33,053
and I could be
your financial planner.

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00:12:33,153 --> 00:12:35,288
And I'd be like,
"You have no cash.

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You only have teeth."

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00:12:36,256 --> 00:12:38,591
- Uh-huh.
- Like, your business plan

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makes no sense.

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00:12:39,959 --> 00:12:41,728
It's shortsighted, girl.
Respect yourself.

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Respect yourself.

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00:12:43,530 --> 00:12:44,831
Yeah.

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Do you hate that?

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No, I think that's great.

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I think it's a great
jumping-off point.

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You have to live
with the foreknowledge

254
00:12:54,808 --> 00:12:56,076
that more than likely,

255
00:12:56,176 --> 00:12:58,912
your first draft is not
gonna be very good.

256
00:13:00,880 --> 00:13:04,818
Gilda used to call it
"the vomit draft."

257
00:13:04,918 --> 00:13:07,020
That you would
vomit out the words.

258
00:13:08,521 --> 00:13:11,458
She'd say, "Then you would start
picking out the corn."

259
00:13:13,860 --> 00:13:15,795
She was like
Miss Emily Dickinson,

260
00:13:15,895 --> 00:13:17,030
ladies and gentlemen.

261
00:13:17,130 --> 00:13:19,399
But that's exactly what it is.

262
00:13:19,499 --> 00:13:22,469
You're vomiting, and then you're
picking out the corn.

263
00:13:26,006 --> 00:13:28,541
I was raised
by two immigrants in Boston,

264
00:13:28,641 --> 00:13:30,677
so of course I'm in therapy.

265
00:13:30,777 --> 00:13:33,546
Yeah, that's gonna be funny.

266
00:13:34,180 --> 00:13:37,117
I like a monologue,
because it's always in the show.

267
00:13:39,919 --> 00:13:41,688
Can't cut the monologue.

268
00:13:42,088 --> 00:13:43,857
You can cut my sketch, though.

269
00:13:44,457 --> 00:13:47,293
The traits of host
absolutely influences

270
00:13:47,394 --> 00:13:49,596
the type of sketch
you're gonna write.

271
00:13:49,696 --> 00:13:52,165
And the best hosts,
for my money,

272
00:13:52,265 --> 00:13:54,300
are the ones who come in
and have moves

273
00:13:54,401 --> 00:13:58,371
that you maybe didn't understand
they had.

274
00:13:58,471 --> 00:13:59,406
Hi.

275
00:14:00,807 --> 00:14:03,610
Whoa. Shrek.

276
00:14:03,710 --> 00:14:05,211
Yeah, I'm Shrek.

277
00:14:05,745 --> 00:14:07,480
I don't care about fashion.

278
00:14:07,580 --> 00:14:10,583
I think people who try too hard
with their outfits

279
00:14:10,684 --> 00:14:12,352
are maybe hiding something.

280
00:14:15,455 --> 00:14:18,958
We have to take care
of this Oompa Loompa situation.

281
00:14:19,059 --> 00:14:20,694
They need green cards, William.

282
00:14:20,794 --> 00:14:22,162
We're not making
tennis shoes here.

283
00:14:22,262 --> 00:14:25,265
We're Oompa Loompa
doopity-screwed.

284
00:14:25,865 --> 00:14:27,467
I used to try to think of, like,

285
00:14:27,567 --> 00:14:30,303
okay, I'm gonna make a list
of things that match their type

286
00:14:30,403 --> 00:14:32,505
and a list of things that are
very against their type.

287
00:14:32,605 --> 00:14:34,140
She's 67

288
00:14:34,240 --> 00:14:37,444
and was once the personal
concubine of Rommel.

289
00:14:37,544 --> 00:14:39,479
Say hello to Coco.

290
00:14:40,313 --> 00:14:42,515
Which is how I ended up
writing this sketch

291
00:14:42,615 --> 00:14:45,485
where Garth Brooks
plays an old French prostitute.

292
00:14:47,454 --> 00:14:48,755
Allô, Don.

293
00:14:48,855 --> 00:14:50,256
Allô, allô.

294
00:14:52,325 --> 00:14:55,495
Boom,
this is the magic of deciding

295
00:14:55,595 --> 00:14:56,996
what to write every week.

296
00:14:57,097 --> 00:14:59,966
For me, a lot of times
I'll make a note of a trope,

297
00:15:00,066 --> 00:15:02,268
even without an idea
for what the sketch is.

298
00:15:02,369 --> 00:15:04,804
Like, let's try to find
something funny about this.

299
00:15:04,904 --> 00:15:06,206
Some of it is topical.

300
00:15:06,306 --> 00:15:08,174
Some of it is just stuff,
you know,

301
00:15:08,274 --> 00:15:10,010
that happened in my life.

302
00:15:10,110 --> 00:15:14,247
I keep a little notes app,
you know, with ideas.

303
00:15:14,347 --> 00:15:16,249
Some weeks when you don't
have a lot of ideas,

304
00:15:16,349 --> 00:15:18,818
I'm just on my phone, like,
flipping through my notes.

305
00:15:18,918 --> 00:15:21,154
I won't show you
the exact ideas,

306
00:15:21,254 --> 00:15:23,423
but, you know,
this is all the ideas I've had

307
00:15:23,523 --> 00:15:25,992
you know, in the last, like,
maybe two months or so.

308
00:15:26,092 --> 00:15:28,628
That's crap, that's crap,
that's crap.

309
00:15:28,728 --> 00:15:29,696
Maybe this.

310
00:15:29,796 --> 00:15:31,131
Not all of them are great.

311
00:15:31,231 --> 00:15:33,833
A couple of these
have gotten on the show.

312
00:15:33,933 --> 00:15:34,968
And some of them are terrible.

313
00:15:35,068 --> 00:15:36,569
We're stuck in an elevator.

314
00:15:36,670 --> 00:15:37,704
Stuck in an elevator.

315
00:15:39,339 --> 00:15:41,441
You just hear the voice,
like, from the elevator.

316
00:15:41,541 --> 00:15:43,476
-"Okay, guys, hold tight."
-We'll be right there.

317
00:15:43,576 --> 00:15:46,246
"We'll be right there.
You know, it'll be 20 minutes.

318
00:15:46,346 --> 00:15:47,914
Like, just try to stay calm."

319
00:15:48,014 --> 00:15:49,416
Okay.

320
00:15:49,883 --> 00:15:52,719
We can't trust that, okay?

321
00:15:54,287 --> 00:15:57,123
If there's one thing
that you could do in here...

322
00:15:57,223 --> 00:15:58,958
Let's say on the count
of three: one, two, three.

323
00:15:59,059 --> 00:16:00,860
What's one thing you miss
about society?

324
00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:03,463
Hooking up.

325
00:16:04,564 --> 00:16:07,033
When you're writing
sketches on Tuesday night,

326
00:16:07,133 --> 00:16:10,170
you haven't yet learned
how bad they are.

327
00:16:10,270 --> 00:16:12,339
You're living
in this delusional bubble

328
00:16:12,439 --> 00:16:15,141
where everything you're
producing is airtight.

329
00:16:15,241 --> 00:16:19,045
You're laughing hysterically
at these sketches

330
00:16:19,145 --> 00:16:21,014
that you don't yet know
are doomed.

331
00:16:21,114 --> 00:16:23,249
Bill and I stayed up
all night brainstorming,

332
00:16:23,350 --> 00:16:25,652
and what we discovered
is that there are two things

333
00:16:25,752 --> 00:16:27,087
that everyone loves.

334
00:16:27,187 --> 00:16:29,422
-Cats and lasers.
-That's right.

335
00:16:29,522 --> 00:16:31,024
Cats and lasers.

336
00:16:31,124 --> 00:16:32,792
I think it would be perfect
for the show.

337
00:16:32,892 --> 00:16:34,961
I don't know,
it doesn't sound good.

338
00:16:35,061 --> 00:16:37,397
Okay, that's fair.

339
00:16:37,831 --> 00:16:39,332
But I think you should watch it

340
00:16:39,432 --> 00:16:41,601
before you make
any final decisions.

341
00:16:43,770 --> 00:16:45,939
Laster cats!

342
00:16:46,039 --> 00:16:49,109
Sometimes,
the stream of consciousness,

343
00:16:49,209 --> 00:16:52,245
just get in the zone,
you're delirious works.

344
00:16:52,345 --> 00:16:54,481
-So?
-What do you think?

345
00:16:54,581 --> 00:16:55,682
Get out.

346
00:16:55,782 --> 00:16:57,384
And sometimes, you'd write that

347
00:16:57,484 --> 00:16:59,786
and it indeed
does not make any sense,

348
00:16:59,886 --> 00:17:02,222
and no one wants to laugh at it.

349
00:17:02,789 --> 00:17:04,357
I feel fine right now.

350
00:17:04,457 --> 00:17:06,793
But it is getting late,
so I'm gonna start

351
00:17:06,893 --> 00:17:08,695
feeling crazy in a little bit.

352
00:17:09,696 --> 00:17:12,432
So I've been writing this one
for, like, seven hours.

353
00:17:13,700 --> 00:17:16,069
I think we all get, like,
three verses, but not--

354
00:17:16,169 --> 00:17:18,238
We'll make it one long verse.

355
00:17:18,338 --> 00:17:20,173
And he get a chunk,
I get a chunk.

356
00:17:20,273 --> 00:17:22,642
I feel like the verse
should be random.

357
00:17:22,742 --> 00:17:24,444
Like, barely on beat.

358
00:17:24,544 --> 00:17:25,178
Like...

359
00:17:25,278 --> 00:17:26,946
* My husband hates me *

360
00:17:27,047 --> 00:17:28,782
* I think my kids are gay *

361
00:17:28,882 --> 00:17:29,983
* But that's okay *

362
00:17:30,083 --> 00:17:31,818
-You know, something...
-Yeah, yeah.

363
00:17:31,918 --> 00:17:33,086
* I'm not my mom,
but I'm trash *

364
00:17:33,186 --> 00:17:34,287
* I'm a wife, but I'm trash *

365
00:17:34,387 --> 00:17:36,089
* I think my kids are gay *

366
00:17:36,189 --> 00:17:37,357
* 'Cause my husband is gay *

367
00:17:37,457 --> 00:17:39,225
* I'm stupid *

368
00:17:39,325 --> 00:17:41,261
* And people don't like me *

369
00:17:41,361 --> 00:17:43,797
* Whenever I talk
people wanna fight me *

370
00:17:43,897 --> 00:17:45,665
* I hit my sister *

371
00:17:45,765 --> 00:17:47,033
* Why that ho bite me? *

372
00:17:49,903 --> 00:17:51,104
* Why that ho bite me? *

373
00:17:57,544 --> 00:18:00,413
Even just sitting at this desk
on Tuesday nights,

374
00:18:00,513 --> 00:18:03,316
you'll hear screaming
down the hall.

375
00:18:03,416 --> 00:18:05,852
And sometimes, half the time,
I'm, like, worried

376
00:18:05,952 --> 00:18:07,354
that I should maybe check in.

377
00:18:07,454 --> 00:18:10,223
But I trust the process.
I let them do their thing.

378
00:18:18,832 --> 00:18:20,166
Hey, it's Taran.

379
00:18:20,266 --> 00:18:24,037
It's 4:30 in the morning
on writing night.

380
00:18:24,137 --> 00:18:25,638
It is delirium.

381
00:18:25,739 --> 00:18:28,675
You have delirious dance parties
in the middle of the night

382
00:18:28,775 --> 00:18:31,978
where, you know, you're doing
a conga line through the place.

383
00:18:33,813 --> 00:18:37,250
You know, there was just always
something going on.

384
00:18:38,551 --> 00:18:41,421
I used to take tampons
and dip them in water,

385
00:18:41,521 --> 00:18:43,857
and then whip them
against the wall.

386
00:18:43,957 --> 00:18:44,991
And they'd just splat,

387
00:18:45,091 --> 00:18:46,426
and they'll stay there
for years.

388
00:18:48,495 --> 00:18:50,463
I remember Tom Davis
would come around

389
00:18:50,563 --> 00:18:52,899
with a boom box
playing "Baba O'Riley,"

390
00:18:52,999 --> 00:18:54,134
that Who song.

391
00:18:54,501 --> 00:18:56,703
He would play that
at full volume

392
00:18:56,803 --> 00:18:57,704
and wake me up.

393
00:19:00,407 --> 00:19:02,242
You have to understand,

394
00:19:02,342 --> 00:19:05,945
we could stay up
for 95,000 hours.

395
00:19:06,046 --> 00:19:09,015
We were very, very young

396
00:19:09,115 --> 00:19:10,784
and having a good time.

397
00:19:11,685 --> 00:19:13,253
Oh!

398
00:19:14,054 --> 00:19:17,257
That first season of SNL,

399
00:19:17,791 --> 00:19:19,225
that's what they did.

400
00:19:19,325 --> 00:19:21,761
Everyone just made out
with everyone

401
00:19:21,861 --> 00:19:22,996
and, like, boned everyone.

402
00:19:23,096 --> 00:19:24,564
It was beautiful.

403
00:19:27,634 --> 00:19:30,270
Yeah, we did--
We did get work done,

404
00:19:30,370 --> 00:19:32,839
but there was a lot
of, you know, goofing around.

405
00:19:34,341 --> 00:19:36,776
You know, it was the '70s.
What can I say?

406
00:19:39,145 --> 00:19:40,814
Uh-oh, gotta go.

407
00:19:40,914 --> 00:19:42,582
Comedy! Ha-ha!

408
00:19:42,682 --> 00:19:43,750
Oh!

409
00:19:44,351 --> 00:19:46,586
There was just always
something going on

410
00:19:46,686 --> 00:19:49,723
in those middle of the nights
that would make people laugh,

411
00:19:49,823 --> 00:19:51,191
and we'd all be crazy,

412
00:19:51,291 --> 00:19:52,959
and then we'd go back
to our room

413
00:19:53,059 --> 00:19:54,694
and be sitting there cooking.

414
00:19:54,794 --> 00:19:56,396
I hate to say it,
but it appears

415
00:19:56,496 --> 00:19:58,298
Punxsutawney Phil has been shot.

416
00:19:58,398 --> 00:20:01,267
Ego and Ayo enter
as two animal control people.

417
00:20:01,368 --> 00:20:03,303
-All right, chill.
-Chill, everybody, chill.

418
00:20:03,403 --> 00:20:06,039
Everybody's chill.
We've neutralized the rodent.

419
00:20:06,139 --> 00:20:07,507
What? Oh, my God.

420
00:20:07,607 --> 00:20:09,442
Did you two shoot
Punxsutawney Phil?

421
00:20:09,542 --> 00:20:11,311
Who the hell is Phil?
We shot a rat.

422
00:20:11,411 --> 00:20:13,179
How do they not know
about Groundhog's Day?

423
00:20:13,279 --> 00:20:14,881
Like, have they never
seen the movie?

424
00:20:14,981 --> 00:20:17,784
That movie where that guy lives
the same day over and over?

425
00:20:17,884 --> 00:20:19,085
Never seen it.

426
00:20:19,185 --> 00:20:20,453
But that happened to me once.

427
00:20:20,553 --> 00:20:22,522
What? What do you mean
that happened to you?

428
00:20:22,622 --> 00:20:25,191
One time, I kept waking up
and it just kept being Tuesday.

429
00:20:25,291 --> 00:20:27,394
But it turns out it was
because I had rabies

430
00:20:27,494 --> 00:20:29,929
and was sleeping
144 hours a night.

431
00:20:30,030 --> 00:20:31,664
And dump it.

432
00:20:32,232 --> 00:20:33,600
Okay.

433
00:20:34,934 --> 00:20:36,703
That new stuff feels good.

434
00:20:36,803 --> 00:20:39,372
I feel like Molly
needs a new joke at the top.

435
00:20:40,106 --> 00:20:41,474
Um...

436
00:20:42,342 --> 00:20:44,244
Did the Heidi
and Michael stuff work?

437
00:20:44,344 --> 00:20:45,645
It didn't feel like it.

438
00:20:45,745 --> 00:20:49,949
Like, it worked,
but I don't trust it enough

439
00:20:50,050 --> 00:20:52,118
to believe it'll work again.

440
00:20:52,218 --> 00:20:53,386
Yeah.

441
00:20:53,820 --> 00:20:56,056
The worst is when we haven't

442
00:20:56,156 --> 00:20:58,425
fully settled on an idea.

443
00:20:58,525 --> 00:21:00,660
Like, even right now, yeah,
we're kind of like...

444
00:21:00,760 --> 00:21:03,830
-In between.
-...is this a viable sketch?

445
00:21:03,930 --> 00:21:05,098
In between ideas.

446
00:21:05,198 --> 00:21:06,666
And it's...

447
00:21:06,766 --> 00:21:07,934
12:12.

448
00:21:09,202 --> 00:21:11,137
So it could be a late one.

449
00:21:11,237 --> 00:21:13,773
I feel like I have not written
one word.

450
00:21:13,873 --> 00:21:16,476
And I have, like, you know,
there's some drafts going.

451
00:21:16,576 --> 00:21:18,378
-But it's like--
-Yeah, I feel behind.

452
00:21:18,478 --> 00:21:20,680
I feel so behind, and that's
my feeling on Tuesday.

453
00:21:20,780 --> 00:21:23,049
It's like the dread
of being behind.

454
00:21:23,149 --> 00:21:25,352
Oh, my God,
I have such crazy B.O.

455
00:21:25,452 --> 00:21:27,687
The cameras can't smell that.

456
00:21:28,455 --> 00:21:30,123
Just say you smell good.

457
00:21:30,557 --> 00:21:32,325
- Okay.
- Most of the time,

458
00:21:32,425 --> 00:21:34,361
it's like a slog
where it's like,

459
00:21:34,461 --> 00:21:36,496
I'm not even really doing
my best comedy.

460
00:21:36,596 --> 00:21:39,899
It's just like, okay,
the first funny line

461
00:21:40,000 --> 00:21:40,734
that I can think of.

462
00:21:40,834 --> 00:21:42,902
Maybe it's like,
there's your first clue.

463
00:21:43,003 --> 00:21:44,104
Or rat-a-tat-tat.

464
00:21:44,637 --> 00:21:47,073
The details are flooding
out of you,

465
00:21:47,173 --> 00:21:49,009
yet you can't remember my face?

466
00:21:49,109 --> 00:21:50,910
Yeah, he's like...

467
00:21:51,011 --> 00:21:52,012
What's "Rat-a-tat-tat"?

468
00:21:52,112 --> 00:21:55,148
It's like, oh, I'm hearing
all this misinformation.

469
00:21:55,248 --> 00:21:57,384
Rat-a-tat-tat.

470
00:21:58,718 --> 00:22:00,520
Can you give it an "oh"?

471
00:22:00,620 --> 00:22:02,689
-Oh, rat-a-tat-tat.
-Rat-a-tat-tat.

472
00:22:02,789 --> 00:22:05,425
It's like you remember
everything but me.

473
00:22:06,760 --> 00:22:09,462
I think that could
actually work.

474
00:22:11,431 --> 00:22:13,166
-Oh...
-Rat-a-tat-tat.

475
00:22:13,266 --> 00:22:14,401
Uh-oh!

476
00:22:14,501 --> 00:22:16,369
He has a new catchphrase

477
00:22:16,469 --> 00:22:18,405
and it's "Rat-a-tat-tat."

478
00:22:18,505 --> 00:22:19,973
So this is in really good shape.

479
00:22:20,073 --> 00:22:22,475
Yeah, this is feeling
really, really good.

480
00:22:22,575 --> 00:22:24,411
Whatever.

481
00:22:24,511 --> 00:22:26,246
Most writing isn't like this.

482
00:22:26,346 --> 00:22:27,981
Like, most writing takes time.

483
00:22:28,081 --> 00:22:29,616
And part of it is, like,

484
00:22:29,716 --> 00:22:32,452
there's time between when you
write it and when people see it.

485
00:22:32,552 --> 00:22:34,521
And here,
there is not that much time.

486
00:22:34,621 --> 00:22:37,624
It's like, whatever I'm writing
here is, like,

487
00:22:37,724 --> 00:22:39,926
it's gonna be said
out loud tomorrow

488
00:22:40,026 --> 00:22:41,227
to other people.

489
00:22:41,327 --> 00:22:42,729
And that's, like...

490
00:22:43,396 --> 00:22:46,633
terrifying, but pretty, like...

491
00:22:49,536 --> 00:22:51,204
addictive part of the job.

492
00:23:08,922 --> 00:23:10,023
Yo, Frank.

493
00:23:10,123 --> 00:23:12,926
Frank, like, where it's at
right now is perfect.

494
00:23:18,331 --> 00:23:20,000
Yo, speed it up.

495
00:23:22,669 --> 00:23:25,338
I only slept, like, two hours,
you know, so...

496
00:23:25,438 --> 00:23:29,042
brain's not firing too hot
right now.

497
00:23:29,142 --> 00:23:30,477
And I'm sure I look amazing.

498
00:23:30,577 --> 00:23:33,279
I'm so glad you guys
are here filming today.

499
00:23:33,380 --> 00:23:35,482
I did take a shower,
so there's that.

500
00:23:35,582 --> 00:23:36,983
Marcello...

501
00:23:37,317 --> 00:23:40,220
* Feeling in my body *

502
00:23:40,320 --> 00:23:41,688
* Can't stop the feeling *

503
00:23:41,788 --> 00:23:44,357
* I got this feeling
in my body *

504
00:23:44,991 --> 00:23:47,627
Isn't it fun to see what
everybody worked on last night?

505
00:23:47,727 --> 00:23:49,829
I'm excited to hear
everybody else's pitches.

506
00:23:50,764 --> 00:23:54,601
We're gonna read
between 35 and 40.

507
00:23:54,701 --> 00:23:57,070
Some will do great, I'm sure.

508
00:23:57,170 --> 00:23:58,204
Some will not.

509
00:23:59,973 --> 00:24:03,176
I think we'll know which ones
do great and which ones don't.

510
00:24:11,351 --> 00:24:12,786
High school auditorium.

511
00:24:12,886 --> 00:24:14,788
Mikey's a teacher
at a podium.

512
00:24:14,888 --> 00:24:17,791
Welcome back to the Madison High
geography bee,

513
00:24:17,891 --> 00:24:20,527
where we put the "fee"
in "geography"

514
00:24:20,627 --> 00:24:23,596
because you had to pay
to participate.

515
00:24:24,030 --> 00:24:25,398
That's my joke.

516
00:24:25,498 --> 00:24:27,133
It's a little nerve-racking

517
00:24:27,233 --> 00:24:30,070
because you've never heard your
sketch read out loud before.

518
00:24:30,170 --> 00:24:32,305
And there's a real, um,

519
00:24:32,405 --> 00:24:34,808
you know,
crapshoot element to it.

520
00:24:35,475 --> 00:24:38,011
When I was there,
it was insane.

521
00:24:38,111 --> 00:24:41,581
We used to always do the table
read in the writers' room.

522
00:24:41,681 --> 00:24:44,951
You just sit there packed
in a hot room

523
00:24:45,051 --> 00:24:48,188
for five hours
and go through every sketch.

524
00:24:49,189 --> 00:24:50,156
It was like heart surgery.

525
00:24:50,256 --> 00:24:52,592
Everyone's looking
in the center of the table.

526
00:24:53,026 --> 00:24:54,694
With me tonight, Santa Claus.

527
00:24:54,794 --> 00:24:57,464
You know him from the toys
and the reindeer,

528
00:24:57,564 --> 00:24:59,666
but now out this week,
the definitive edition

529
00:24:59,766 --> 00:25:01,434
of Santa's pornographic work,

530
00:25:01,534 --> 00:25:03,470
"Santa, Two Lumps of Coal:
Uncut."

531
00:25:06,906 --> 00:25:08,475
Wednesday morning,

532
00:25:08,575 --> 00:25:09,943
having been awake all night,

533
00:25:10,043 --> 00:25:14,014
I was like filled
with excitement and expectation.

534
00:25:14,114 --> 00:25:17,917
I cared so much
about how I did at the table.

535
00:25:18,985 --> 00:25:21,588
And those moments
that were explosive at the table

536
00:25:21,688 --> 00:25:24,357
are fonder memories
than how it played

537
00:25:24,457 --> 00:25:25,658
at dress or on the live show.

538
00:25:26,059 --> 00:25:28,194
I think that's the cool thing

539
00:25:28,294 --> 00:25:29,596
about the creative process,

540
00:25:29,696 --> 00:25:31,731
is that if everyone knew
mathematically

541
00:25:31,831 --> 00:25:33,533
how to create a perfect sketch,

542
00:25:33,633 --> 00:25:35,035
it would just be a science.

543
00:25:35,135 --> 00:25:37,604
And it really is a little bit,
like, unpredictable.

544
00:25:37,704 --> 00:25:39,739
Welcome back to Miss Irish Rose,

545
00:25:39,839 --> 00:25:42,575
the beauty pageant where we
crown the most kindhearted,

546
00:25:42,676 --> 00:25:44,077
gorgeous girl in all the land.

547
00:25:44,177 --> 00:25:47,347
The prize this year
will be the brand-new iPhone 8.

548
00:25:47,747 --> 00:25:49,049
But sometimes,

549
00:25:49,149 --> 00:25:51,351
the thing that was
cracking us up, like,

550
00:25:51,451 --> 00:25:53,453
it's read out loud
and it's like,

551
00:25:53,553 --> 00:25:55,789
it's bone-chilling,
it's silence.

552
00:25:57,657 --> 00:25:59,693
If the first two pages
aren't working,

553
00:25:59,793 --> 00:26:03,496
there is a optimism
from everybody else

554
00:26:03,930 --> 00:26:05,165
where they're thinking,
"You know what?

555
00:26:05,265 --> 00:26:07,167
Maybe this third page
is when it takes off."

556
00:26:07,267 --> 00:26:10,737
But you wrote it, and you knew
that in order for it to work,

557
00:26:10,837 --> 00:26:12,872
they had to already be laughing.

558
00:26:12,972 --> 00:26:14,674
It's not gonna get any better.

559
00:26:14,774 --> 00:26:17,210
And the amount I wanted
to stand up and say,

560
00:26:17,310 --> 00:26:18,778
"We can just move on."

561
00:26:18,878 --> 00:26:22,382
I'm telling you right now,
"Uncle, uncle."

562
00:26:22,482 --> 00:26:24,250
When I was there,
if that happened,

563
00:26:24,351 --> 00:26:28,688
Paula Pell would usually give
you a pity laugh of some kind

564
00:26:28,788 --> 00:26:30,957
so that you wouldn't
jump out the window.

565
00:26:33,226 --> 00:26:35,528
And she's a great actor,
so they almost sounded real.

566
00:26:35,628 --> 00:26:38,231
Every so often we'd have
a writer that laughs

567
00:26:38,331 --> 00:26:39,666
only at their own stuff,

568
00:26:39,766 --> 00:26:41,568
and that used to burn my ass
so bad.

569
00:26:41,668 --> 00:26:43,636
I always respected people
who would laugh

570
00:26:43,737 --> 00:26:45,271
at other people's material.

571
00:26:45,372 --> 00:26:49,776
It was sort of like some eras,
there was less of that.

572
00:26:51,344 --> 00:26:53,947
In later years,
there was, like, factions.

573
00:26:54,047 --> 00:26:55,915
There would be people
who would be

574
00:26:56,016 --> 00:26:59,986
aggressively supportive of stuff
that either they worked on,

575
00:27:00,086 --> 00:27:01,988
or that their good buddies
worked on.

576
00:27:02,088 --> 00:27:05,425
And then there's a way
of aggressively not laughing,

577
00:27:05,525 --> 00:27:06,993
which is more like...

578
00:27:09,396 --> 00:27:12,966
Andy Breckman had some
hilarious writers' prayer,

579
00:27:13,066 --> 00:27:14,901
and it was like,
"Dear Lord, uh...

580
00:27:15,535 --> 00:27:19,839
please let my sketch kill harder
than anyone else's sketch,

581
00:27:19,939 --> 00:27:23,243
but please let me also be
perceived as a team player."

582
00:27:25,111 --> 00:27:27,447
Even through everyone
at SNL is working together

583
00:27:27,547 --> 00:27:29,649
to make one thing,
no, though.

584
00:27:29,749 --> 00:27:31,985
It is built on competition.

585
00:27:32,085 --> 00:27:34,854
It is built for, like,
see you at the table.

586
00:27:34,954 --> 00:27:36,723
* What was said?
What was said? *

587
00:27:36,823 --> 00:27:38,458
* Who said that?
I don't know *

588
00:27:38,558 --> 00:27:40,493
* Who said that?
Not me, though *

589
00:27:40,593 --> 00:27:42,529
* Girl, he dead *

590
00:27:42,629 --> 00:27:44,230
* What I said? *

591
00:27:44,831 --> 00:27:46,733
I mean, it's kind of catchy.

592
00:27:46,833 --> 00:27:48,968
- You, picture this.
- Me?

593
00:27:49,069 --> 00:27:51,771
- Yeah, you, Little Miss Tits.
- Little Miss Tits?

594
00:27:51,871 --> 00:27:54,174
Yeah, Little Miss Tits.
Look at me, look at me, ready?

595
00:27:54,274 --> 00:27:56,076
I'm Little Miss Tits, right?
I'm Little Miss Tits,

596
00:27:56,176 --> 00:27:59,612
I'm driving my Maz-Mazda 6
thinking I'm freaking invisible.

597
00:27:59,713 --> 00:28:01,114
I don't even have my hands
at 10 and 2.

598
00:28:01,214 --> 00:28:03,383
Look, I got one at 6
and one surfing out the window.

599
00:28:05,185 --> 00:28:07,287
John Higgins, California sober.

600
00:28:07,387 --> 00:28:09,255
And this is gay Obama.

601
00:28:10,757 --> 00:28:13,193
Uh, Michelle! I'm gay!

602
00:28:16,396 --> 00:28:17,230
I'll take this one.

603
00:28:17,330 --> 00:28:20,567
Your Honor, I did an extreme
ho makeover.

604
00:28:20,667 --> 00:28:22,235
A makeover?

605
00:28:22,335 --> 00:28:24,204
What was the look
you were going for?

606
00:28:24,304 --> 00:28:26,673
She came into my salon
smelling like two deviled eggs

607
00:28:26,773 --> 00:28:28,274
just ran a train on a falafel.

608
00:28:30,110 --> 00:28:32,112
Charles River in Boston,

609
00:28:32,212 --> 00:28:34,581
inside a Duck Boat
on a green screen.

610
00:28:35,215 --> 00:28:39,052
Always nice to be joined
by a native Bostonian couple.

611
00:28:39,152 --> 00:28:42,822
A couple? Uh-uh!
Yeah, we get out, we look.

612
00:28:42,922 --> 00:28:44,391
But, honey, we're not gay.

613
00:28:44,491 --> 00:28:46,659
After five kids, the way this
thing downstairs is torn up,

614
00:28:46,760 --> 00:28:48,028
I wish I was gay.

615
00:28:48,128 --> 00:28:51,631
By the way,
your dick's out of your pants.

616
00:28:51,731 --> 00:28:53,833
No, it's not.

617
00:28:55,735 --> 00:28:57,370
All right.

618
00:29:01,074 --> 00:29:04,177
This is the longest
one of the season so far.

619
00:29:04,911 --> 00:29:08,815
Um, we'll go up to Lorne's
office on 17 and...

620
00:29:09,182 --> 00:29:11,751
pick, I don't know, 12?

621
00:29:11,851 --> 00:29:13,386
- Yeah.
- Um...

622
00:29:13,887 --> 00:29:16,489
Yeah, and then
that's how it goes.

623
00:29:18,992 --> 00:29:20,960
Often, we have
a really good table read

624
00:29:21,061 --> 00:29:23,229
where at least half, you know,
maybe more,

625
00:29:23,329 --> 00:29:25,398
maybe two-thirds,
could work on the show.

626
00:29:25,498 --> 00:29:28,201
But it is a monarchy here,

627
00:29:28,301 --> 00:29:31,871
and ultimately it's Lorne
who makes the decisions.

628
00:29:31,971 --> 00:29:33,940
If he really doesn't want
to do something, he won't.

629
00:29:34,040 --> 00:29:36,309
And if he really does, we will.

630
00:29:38,545 --> 00:29:42,015
So it's this waiting game where
everyone sits around, nervous,

631
00:29:42,115 --> 00:29:46,152
waiting for like,
a email or a text about it.

632
00:29:47,821 --> 00:29:50,156
And we wait and wait.

633
00:29:51,057 --> 00:29:52,759
I think it took me a while

634
00:29:52,859 --> 00:29:54,561
to get used to sitting still
for that long.

635
00:29:54,661 --> 00:29:56,129
Now it's fine.

636
00:29:56,229 --> 00:29:58,965
I'll usually go downstairs
and have an espresso martini

637
00:29:59,065 --> 00:30:02,035
while we wait for the picks.

638
00:30:05,405 --> 00:30:09,609
It's very quiet
for, like, an hour and a half,

639
00:30:09,709 --> 00:30:11,244
and then suddenly,
you see people

640
00:30:11,344 --> 00:30:13,546
walking along the hallway,
you hear more chatter.

641
00:30:15,148 --> 00:30:17,751
- You got the picks?
- We got the picks.

642
00:30:17,851 --> 00:30:20,353
Oh, my God.
Putting on a damn show.

643
00:30:21,988 --> 00:30:24,424
It's like the smoke
from the pope.

644
00:30:24,524 --> 00:30:25,158
Like, the picks are in!

645
00:30:25,258 --> 00:30:27,727
Congratu-fucking-lations.

646
00:30:27,827 --> 00:30:28,995
Yeah, come on over.

647
00:30:29,095 --> 00:30:30,597
You did it, little buddy!

648
00:30:30,697 --> 00:30:32,532
You did it!

649
00:30:32,632 --> 00:30:34,334
Once your sketch got picked,

650
00:30:34,434 --> 00:30:37,037
you would go around
to the different departments

651
00:30:37,137 --> 00:30:39,973
because writers
are their own producers.

652
00:30:40,073 --> 00:30:43,143
So you take the sketch
from the thing you wrote,

653
00:30:43,243 --> 00:30:46,012
and then you are responsible
for every aspect of that thing.

654
00:30:46,112 --> 00:30:48,014
Heidi and Keira, come on down.

655
00:30:48,114 --> 00:30:50,116
-Duck Boats?
-Duck Boats.

656
00:30:50,216 --> 00:30:53,420
So, like, Heidi and Ayo,
they'll be facing out this way

657
00:30:53,520 --> 00:30:57,891
as if Troast is standing, like,
backward giving the tour.

658
00:30:57,991 --> 00:30:59,959
I think it's one
of the reasons why

659
00:31:00,060 --> 00:31:03,663
you see a lot of SNL writers
becoming directors

660
00:31:03,763 --> 00:31:05,498
and sort of multifaceted things.

661
00:31:05,598 --> 00:31:07,400
Because we're asked
to do all this at that show.

662
00:31:07,500 --> 00:31:10,236
- Kind of like this.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

663
00:31:10,337 --> 00:31:14,040
-You are my French expert.
-Yeah, yeah.

664
00:31:14,140 --> 00:31:15,842
Person who creates the piece,

665
00:31:15,942 --> 00:31:17,844
they determine the set,
the costumes.

666
00:31:17,944 --> 00:31:19,379
They're in charge of everything.

667
00:31:19,479 --> 00:31:22,182
That's the only way
you get pure comedy

668
00:31:22,282 --> 00:31:25,785
that isn't maligned,
or edges rounded out,

669
00:31:25,885 --> 00:31:27,420
or corners taken off.

670
00:31:27,520 --> 00:31:28,955
So it is truly a voice

671
00:31:29,055 --> 00:31:31,958
between the creator
and the audience.

672
00:31:32,058 --> 00:31:34,127
You are fully in charge

673
00:31:34,227 --> 00:31:37,364
of three to four minutes
of live network television.

674
00:31:37,464 --> 00:31:38,231
Totally in charge.

675
00:31:38,331 --> 00:31:41,401
NBC had nothing to say about it.
Nothing.

676
00:31:41,501 --> 00:31:43,903
And when they did,
we'd tell them, "No."

677
00:31:44,004 --> 00:31:45,405
We're, like, 25.

678
00:31:45,505 --> 00:31:47,240
We'd go, "We're doing it.
I asked Lorne."

679
00:31:47,340 --> 00:31:49,442
I'm gonna try
to copy the textures

680
00:31:49,542 --> 00:31:52,645
because it's the only way
we're gonna make it convincing

681
00:31:52,746 --> 00:31:54,280
that it is there.

682
00:31:54,381 --> 00:31:57,083
And maybe one of these
types of mics

683
00:31:57,183 --> 00:31:59,219
-for Keenan, the driver.
-Sure.

684
00:31:59,319 --> 00:32:00,120
Okay.

685
00:32:00,220 --> 00:32:02,322
And at any point
during the week,

686
00:32:02,422 --> 00:32:06,359
if a sketch fails, it's like,
people look to the writer.

687
00:32:06,459 --> 00:32:08,962
It's kind of like,
"Well, you, as the writer,

688
00:32:09,062 --> 00:32:11,998
should be on it to know
why this didn't happen."

689
00:32:12,098 --> 00:32:14,267
So it's definitely
a lot of pressure.

690
00:32:14,734 --> 00:32:15,869
Thanks, guys.

691
00:32:15,969 --> 00:32:19,439
It is currently 11:21

692
00:32:19,539 --> 00:32:20,740
on, like, Wednesday.

693
00:32:20,840 --> 00:32:22,776
The show is Saturday, you know,

694
00:32:22,876 --> 00:32:24,244
around this time.

695
00:32:24,344 --> 00:32:26,680
And so we have only a few days.

696
00:32:26,780 --> 00:32:28,381
So it's gonna be tight.

697
00:32:46,299 --> 00:32:48,101
For every new writer,

698
00:32:48,201 --> 00:32:50,070
the quickest thing
they learn is,

699
00:32:50,170 --> 00:32:53,573
that it's not done
when they press "print."

700
00:32:55,175 --> 00:32:58,311
The whole process
of SNL is such a writing

701
00:32:58,411 --> 00:33:00,847
and rewriting
and rewriting process.

702
00:33:01,147 --> 00:33:03,850
You know, we write on Tuesday.

703
00:33:03,950 --> 00:33:06,152
We rewrite it on Thursday.

704
00:33:06,252 --> 00:33:08,321
Friday, it's rewritten again.

705
00:33:08,421 --> 00:33:11,925
And on Saturday,
it's rewritten again.

706
00:33:12,025 --> 00:33:15,328
So in that very limited
four-day window,

707
00:33:15,428 --> 00:33:17,564
it's rewritten
at least four times.

708
00:33:21,668 --> 00:33:23,136
Thank you.

709
00:33:23,236 --> 00:33:26,406
On Thursdays,
that's our big rewrite day.

710
00:33:26,506 --> 00:33:28,875
Rewriting all of the sketches
that have been picked

711
00:33:28,975 --> 00:33:30,276
for dress rehearsals.

712
00:33:30,377 --> 00:33:33,513
A couple full rewrites,
too, I would say.

713
00:33:33,613 --> 00:33:34,514
All right.

714
00:33:34,614 --> 00:33:36,416
So all of the sketches
get split up

715
00:33:36,516 --> 00:33:38,284
between the ninth-floor
writers' room

716
00:33:38,385 --> 00:33:40,987
and the 17th-floor
writers' room.

717
00:33:41,087 --> 00:33:42,789
And it's largely on the writer,

718
00:33:42,889 --> 00:33:44,257
whoever wrote the sketch

719
00:33:44,357 --> 00:33:47,060
to be able to come
to that rewrite table and say,

720
00:33:47,160 --> 00:33:48,628
"Here's what I'm looking for.

721
00:33:48,728 --> 00:33:51,131
I don't think this part worked.
I don't think that part worked."

722
00:33:51,231 --> 00:33:53,633
I mean, I don't know.

723
00:33:53,733 --> 00:33:54,968
I truly did laugh at it.

724
00:33:55,068 --> 00:33:56,636
I can't tell
if it's one of those things.

725
00:33:56,736 --> 00:33:59,205
Yeah, like they did get
some groans, so I feel like

726
00:33:59,305 --> 00:34:00,607
it probably wouldn't play.

727
00:34:00,707 --> 00:34:02,909
Yeah, some of the stuff
after she starts doing it

728
00:34:03,009 --> 00:34:04,544
could be a lot shorter.

729
00:34:04,644 --> 00:34:08,148
Yeah, like top of three
is the same as top of four.

730
00:34:08,682 --> 00:34:09,582
Okay.

731
00:34:09,683 --> 00:34:11,918
The experience
of writing a piece

732
00:34:12,018 --> 00:34:15,321
and then sitting in a rewrite
room with all of your co-workers

733
00:34:15,422 --> 00:34:18,291
dissecting it
could be a little daunting.

734
00:34:18,391 --> 00:34:20,260
You have to develop
a thick skin, put it that way.

735
00:34:20,360 --> 00:34:23,096
I don't think everybody
has a thick skin at first,
but you have to develop one.

736
00:34:23,196 --> 00:34:25,799
What you learn
when you are writing

737
00:34:25,899 --> 00:34:27,701
under those circumstances

738
00:34:27,801 --> 00:34:29,502
is that nothing is sacred.

739
00:34:30,070 --> 00:34:33,473
Nothing that you've written
is that good

740
00:34:33,573 --> 00:34:36,609
that it can't be changed
if need be.

741
00:34:38,244 --> 00:34:40,013
I have to say,
as head writer,

742
00:34:40,113 --> 00:34:42,282
I felt like I came in
from Chicago

743
00:34:42,382 --> 00:34:43,917
and I was ready
to fight whoever.

744
00:34:45,318 --> 00:34:47,821
But the rewrite tables
were tough.

745
00:34:47,921 --> 00:34:49,022
They were grouchy.

746
00:34:49,456 --> 00:34:50,857
People would take
the run-down of the show

747
00:34:50,957 --> 00:34:53,493
and just go sketch by sketch
and, like, make fun of it.

748
00:34:53,593 --> 00:34:56,863
Make fun of the title.
Like, goof on it, goof on it.

749
00:34:57,497 --> 00:35:00,000
Like, you would leave the room
fully knowing

750
00:35:00,100 --> 00:35:01,301
that that writers' room

751
00:35:01,401 --> 00:35:03,370
was taking a shit on it
while you were gone.

752
00:35:03,470 --> 00:35:06,606
And it just was kind of
the way it was.

753
00:35:07,374 --> 00:35:09,743
And I don't know
if it's the same anymore.

754
00:35:10,710 --> 00:35:11,778
And if it's not,

755
00:35:11,878 --> 00:35:14,681
maybe it should get that way
again a little bit.

756
00:35:14,781 --> 00:35:15,815
I think it's good.

757
00:35:18,485 --> 00:35:22,022
I do think that there was some
nice, like, symmetry

758
00:35:22,122 --> 00:35:24,324
to their being three secrets.

759
00:35:24,424 --> 00:35:28,428
Like, doing any, like,
weird thing she could confess.

760
00:35:28,528 --> 00:35:30,663
She's been selling jewel pods
in the bathroom.

761
00:35:32,098 --> 00:35:33,867
My dad is an astronaut.

762
00:35:34,334 --> 00:35:36,603
I've seen over 20
R-rated movies.

763
00:35:37,404 --> 00:35:41,541
Sometimes, you just got
to keep working it

764
00:35:41,641 --> 00:35:44,711
and working it until
it's what you want it to be.

765
00:35:44,811 --> 00:35:45,612
It's very precise.

766
00:35:45,712 --> 00:35:49,249
There's a rhythm,
a musical rhythm to jokes.

767
00:35:49,349 --> 00:35:50,984
You know, you can count
your syllables.

768
00:35:51,084 --> 00:35:52,952
It's got to be...

769
00:35:53,053 --> 00:35:54,354
It's got to be exact.

770
00:35:54,454 --> 00:35:56,489
Mitchell, remind everyone
of our number.

771
00:35:56,589 --> 00:36:03,363
Our number
is 1-672-555-0136.

772
00:36:03,463 --> 00:36:05,832
But, Serena, there's no way
to create a catchy jingle

773
00:36:05,932 --> 00:36:08,702
-with a number like that.
-That's where you're wrong.

774
00:36:08,802 --> 00:36:10,437
I remember last season,

775
00:36:10,537 --> 00:36:12,439
James Austin Johnson
and Andrew Dismukes,

776
00:36:12,539 --> 00:36:15,008
they have like their
Soul Booth jingle pitch guys.

777
00:36:15,108 --> 00:36:17,377
We are Soul Booth.

778
00:36:17,911 --> 00:36:19,112
And they're here to save us.

779
00:36:19,212 --> 00:36:21,348
Worked out a few demos
for y'all.

780
00:36:21,448 --> 00:36:23,016
They played two musicians

781
00:36:23,116 --> 00:36:25,385
pitching a jingle to a company.

782
00:36:25,485 --> 00:36:27,620
And it was just gonna be
their phone number,

783
00:36:27,721 --> 00:36:29,923
and they sing it
in this ridiculous,

784
00:36:30,023 --> 00:36:31,624
you know, soulful way.

785
00:36:31,725 --> 00:36:33,460
* 875-772 *

786
00:36:33,560 --> 00:36:36,196
And so, I was
at that rewrite table,

787
00:36:36,296 --> 00:36:37,997
and when I tell you
we spent, like,

788
00:36:38,098 --> 00:36:42,369
30 to 45 minutes straight-up
having to figure out the number.

789
00:36:42,469 --> 00:36:44,371
We had a long discussion
about which numbers

790
00:36:44,471 --> 00:36:46,106
were the funniest, you know.

791
00:36:46,206 --> 00:36:48,174
Seven, three. What's best here?

792
00:36:48,274 --> 00:36:49,709
* 360055... *

793
00:36:49,809 --> 00:36:52,412
Like, what is the funniest take
on a number?

794
00:36:52,512 --> 00:36:54,714
Is it better to land on a three?

795
00:36:54,814 --> 00:36:56,282
And, uh, you know,

796
00:36:56,383 --> 00:36:58,451
you run out of runway
after a little while

797
00:36:58,551 --> 00:37:00,487
talking about that,
but it...

798
00:37:00,587 --> 00:37:02,288
At the same time,
it does matter.

799
00:37:02,389 --> 00:37:04,224
It actually really does.

800
00:37:04,324 --> 00:37:05,792
* Come on *

801
00:37:06,292 --> 00:37:10,096
* 16 trillion, 725 million *

802
00:37:10,196 --> 00:37:12,665
* 550,000 *

803
00:37:12,766 --> 00:37:14,234
* 136 *

804
00:37:14,334 --> 00:37:16,269
One more time.
That feels so good.

805
00:37:16,369 --> 00:37:19,839
* 16 trillion, 725 million *

806
00:37:19,939 --> 00:37:22,075
* 550,000 *

807
00:37:22,175 --> 00:37:24,411
* 136 *

808
00:37:25,145 --> 00:37:27,681
So, what do you think?

809
00:37:28,748 --> 00:37:31,618
See, if you were to walk past us
that day, you were like,

810
00:37:31,718 --> 00:37:33,820
"What is going on at SNL?
Are they okay?"

811
00:37:33,920 --> 00:37:35,055
Everybody!

812
00:37:35,155 --> 00:37:36,256
* 16 trillion *

813
00:37:36,356 --> 00:37:38,491
* 725 million... *

814
00:37:41,061 --> 00:37:44,264
Silly, alcohol's not a drug.

815
00:37:44,364 --> 00:37:46,833
It's sold in stores.

816
00:37:48,902 --> 00:37:50,303
Okay.

817
00:37:50,403 --> 00:37:52,639
We got a note from Betzy on it.

818
00:37:53,073 --> 00:37:55,008
Excuse me?

819
00:37:55,108 --> 00:37:57,010
Glorifying drugs.

820
00:37:57,110 --> 00:37:59,579
What the fuck?

821
00:38:01,181 --> 00:38:03,016
There's a person
named Betzy Torres,

822
00:38:03,116 --> 00:38:04,117
who's our censor.

823
00:38:05,051 --> 00:38:09,489
And her job is to read
and listen to all the sketches

824
00:38:09,589 --> 00:38:11,691
at read through
and kind of flag anything

825
00:38:11,791 --> 00:38:14,527
that could be a problem
for the network,

826
00:38:14,627 --> 00:38:17,430
or advertisers,
or anything like that.

827
00:38:18,698 --> 00:38:22,202
As the SNL standards executive,

828
00:38:22,302 --> 00:38:25,839
I need to review content, um,

829
00:38:26,373 --> 00:38:27,440
for everything.

830
00:38:27,540 --> 00:38:30,043
What's kind of problematic.

831
00:38:30,143 --> 00:38:32,012
What seems over the top.

832
00:38:32,112 --> 00:38:33,380
"Delete 'dick.'"

833
00:38:33,480 --> 00:38:36,249
- "Delete 'dick'"?
- Wait, what was it?

834
00:38:36,349 --> 00:38:38,451
"Minimize gay mentions
and delete 'dick.'"

835
00:38:38,918 --> 00:38:40,987
"We have tonnage concerns
regarding language."

836
00:38:41,087 --> 00:38:43,723
"'Gay,' 'bitch,' 'ass,'
'balls,' 'dump,' et cetera."

837
00:38:43,823 --> 00:38:44,557
So...

838
00:38:44,657 --> 00:38:46,593
There was a lot of bitches.

839
00:38:47,827 --> 00:38:51,464
I try to make sure
that we're not having, like,

840
00:38:51,564 --> 00:38:54,934
20 "bitches" or "asses"
in one show,

841
00:38:55,035 --> 00:38:58,238
that we kind of figure out
that we've got to,

842
00:38:58,338 --> 00:38:59,773
you know, tone it down.

843
00:38:59,873 --> 00:39:01,841
I think we have a good
working relationship

844
00:39:01,941 --> 00:39:04,411
as far as good as people
who yell at each other

845
00:39:04,511 --> 00:39:06,746
sometimes can have.

846
00:39:06,846 --> 00:39:09,416
Some writers don't want
to change what they've written.

847
00:39:09,516 --> 00:39:12,318
And some of them
are pissed off at me.

848
00:39:12,419 --> 00:39:15,422
Um, but it's not personal.
It's professional.

849
00:39:15,522 --> 00:39:20,060
Her job is to kind of have
a dirty mind

850
00:39:20,593 --> 00:39:22,529
where it's like, you know,

851
00:39:22,629 --> 00:39:24,030
looking for that stuff.

852
00:39:24,130 --> 00:39:26,099
And sometimes, she'll find it
when it's not there.

853
00:39:26,199 --> 00:39:30,103
You'll be like, Betzy, you think
we're describing some sex act?

854
00:39:30,203 --> 00:39:31,671
No, we're not.

855
00:39:31,771 --> 00:39:34,407
We're just literally saying,
like, a glazed donut.

856
00:39:34,507 --> 00:39:36,076
That's it. We're not--
You know?

857
00:39:36,176 --> 00:39:38,712
Every once in a while
for the censors, sometimes,

858
00:39:38,812 --> 00:39:41,648
we put in something
that was, uh...

859
00:39:41,748 --> 00:39:44,718
We knew they'd have to cut
in order to get something

860
00:39:44,818 --> 00:39:47,020
that we were afraid
they would cut.

861
00:39:47,120 --> 00:39:48,988
So we were actually...

862
00:39:50,290 --> 00:39:52,125
really aiming at this target,

863
00:39:52,559 --> 00:39:54,594
but we give them this target,

864
00:39:54,694 --> 00:39:57,263
and they go like,
"You can't do that."

865
00:39:57,364 --> 00:39:59,132
And then we go,
"What do you mean?"

866
00:39:59,232 --> 00:40:00,533
Argue, argue, argue.

867
00:40:00,633 --> 00:40:02,402
"Okay, but can we do that?"

868
00:40:02,502 --> 00:40:03,536
"Oh, yeah."

869
00:40:03,636 --> 00:40:05,872
My human trick I used to do

870
00:40:05,972 --> 00:40:08,408
in the writers' room
is just bleep myself out

871
00:40:08,508 --> 00:40:10,110
so I'll show you my trick.

872
00:40:10,944 --> 00:40:15,548
Listen, I know that some people
loved SNL, they hated SNL.

873
00:40:15,648 --> 00:40:19,285
Um, and, you know,
if you hated it, you can...

874
00:40:24,424 --> 00:40:26,659
That was me bleeping myself.

875
00:40:46,646 --> 00:40:48,081
Down low, go ahead.

876
00:40:50,216 --> 00:40:51,785
All right, all yours.

877
00:40:51,885 --> 00:40:55,088
On Fridays, sets are built.

878
00:40:55,822 --> 00:40:58,158
That's kind of miraculous,
the way those sets go up.

879
00:40:58,258 --> 00:40:59,693
So quickly.

880
00:40:59,793 --> 00:41:02,529
They're putting it up,
and doing the rough blocking,

881
00:41:02,629 --> 00:41:04,397
and starting to mount the show.

882
00:41:06,866 --> 00:41:08,835
All right, here we go. Stand by.

883
00:41:09,536 --> 00:41:11,905
Ah! Ah!

884
00:41:12,005 --> 00:41:13,406
I am bisexual!

885
00:41:15,275 --> 00:41:17,377
Oh, my God.

886
00:41:17,477 --> 00:41:20,246
What have you made me say?

887
00:41:20,847 --> 00:41:23,149
This is the first time
you're hearing people

888
00:41:23,249 --> 00:41:24,250
stand and say lines.

889
00:41:24,351 --> 00:41:26,252
So that first blocking time

890
00:41:26,353 --> 00:41:29,089
becomes very important.

891
00:41:31,725 --> 00:41:33,727
Blocking is when you figure out

892
00:41:33,827 --> 00:41:36,096
where your shots are gonna be
and, you know,

893
00:41:36,196 --> 00:41:38,598
where the cast are gonna stand,
where their marks are.

894
00:41:38,698 --> 00:41:42,102
I need-- Also, you could go,
"See what I mean?"

895
00:41:42,202 --> 00:41:43,370
And then like...

896
00:41:43,470 --> 00:41:44,571
You're gonna be like...

897
00:41:44,671 --> 00:41:46,239
- So then it's like this?
- Yeah.

898
00:41:46,339 --> 00:41:48,708
And every step along the way

899
00:41:48,808 --> 00:41:51,745
was another step
in the writing process.

900
00:41:51,845 --> 00:41:54,047
What if he was like,
"I'll go with chamomile.

901
00:41:54,147 --> 00:41:57,083
I'm sorry, I couldn't resist.
I used to do stand-up."

902
00:41:57,183 --> 00:41:58,418
Like, switch.

903
00:41:58,518 --> 00:42:00,020
- Yup.
- Yeah.

904
00:42:00,120 --> 00:42:01,988
I'll order chamomile.
I'm sorry, I couldn't resist.

905
00:42:02,088 --> 00:42:03,690
-I used to do stand-up.
-That's great.

906
00:42:03,790 --> 00:42:05,058
We'll see how that goes.

907
00:42:05,158 --> 00:42:07,794
At Saturday Night Live,
in addition to writing sketches,

908
00:42:07,894 --> 00:42:10,897
you also gives notes
to the performers.

909
00:42:10,997 --> 00:42:13,633
- From the top again.
- From the top.

910
00:42:13,733 --> 00:42:17,504
The hosts are sometimes,
Oscar Award-winning actors.

911
00:42:17,604 --> 00:42:18,972
It can be a weird dynamic,

912
00:42:19,072 --> 00:42:22,075
having, like,
some 25-year-old kid

913
00:42:22,175 --> 00:42:24,377
be like, "Dude, you're not
doing it right."

914
00:42:24,477 --> 00:42:26,546
Yeah.

915
00:42:27,113 --> 00:42:30,250
Oh, the host is De Niro
and I have to go tell them

916
00:42:30,350 --> 00:42:31,651
an acting note?

917
00:42:32,385 --> 00:42:33,853
And you just are like,

918
00:42:33,953 --> 00:42:36,656
"I can't believe I'm sitting
here talking to you about this."

919
00:42:36,756 --> 00:42:38,792
-Seth, how are you?
-Good, how are you?

920
00:42:38,892 --> 00:42:42,662
Just all these famous people.

921
00:42:43,630 --> 00:42:45,231
All right.

922
00:42:45,732 --> 00:42:47,133
Nice to meet you.

923
00:42:48,635 --> 00:42:50,303
How you doing?

924
00:42:51,071 --> 00:42:54,607
If you come in
and you're new to all of it,

925
00:42:54,708 --> 00:42:56,276
it's fucking terrifying.

926
00:42:57,811 --> 00:43:01,214
I think possibly
my first week as a writer,

927
00:43:01,314 --> 00:43:02,849
Sylvester Stallone was the host.

928
00:43:02,949 --> 00:43:04,784
And the note came back,
and it was like,

929
00:43:04,884 --> 00:43:06,619
"Tell him he needs
to annunciate more.

930
00:43:06,720 --> 00:43:07,921
We can't understand him."

931
00:43:08,021 --> 00:43:10,523
So, how do you think I'm doing?
I mean...

932
00:43:10,623 --> 00:43:12,959
You're stinkin' up the joint,
Rock!

933
00:43:13,059 --> 00:43:15,228
The writer I was working with
who was more experienced,

934
00:43:15,328 --> 00:43:16,696
he was like, "Okay, go do it."

935
00:43:16,796 --> 00:43:18,598
And sometimes,
you'd see these actors, like,

936
00:43:18,698 --> 00:43:20,867
with their shades
go down on their eyes,

937
00:43:20,967 --> 00:43:22,635
like, "Don't give me
a fucking line reading."

938
00:43:22,736 --> 00:43:24,904
But it's a great trial by fire.

939
00:43:25,005 --> 00:43:26,973
Mr. Stallone was very nice
about it.

940
00:43:27,073 --> 00:43:28,775
Clearly not the first time
in his life

941
00:43:28,875 --> 00:43:29,809
he had received that note.

942
00:43:29,909 --> 00:43:31,578
He was like, "Okay, yeah.

943
00:43:31,678 --> 00:43:33,613
You can't understand me?
I got it."

944
00:43:33,713 --> 00:43:36,082
He was great. He killed it.

945
00:43:36,182 --> 00:43:38,952
All right, we're gonna
clean it up now.

946
00:43:39,052 --> 00:43:40,987
Can you show me a three shot
with Chloe in the middle?

947
00:43:41,521 --> 00:43:44,591
The control room is where
you're seeing for the first time

948
00:43:44,691 --> 00:43:46,693
what people are gonna
be seeing at home.

949
00:43:46,793 --> 00:43:48,695
You're not experiencing it
like a play.

950
00:43:48,795 --> 00:43:51,698
Okay, can you please
let me do the tour?

951
00:43:53,767 --> 00:43:55,835
I think a little bit faster.

952
00:43:55,935 --> 00:43:58,672
-You want it a little faster?
-Yeah, just a little bit.

953
00:43:58,772 --> 00:44:00,373
-A tenth. Yeah, yeah.
-Okay.

954
00:44:00,774 --> 00:44:02,976
That's the scariest part.

955
00:44:03,076 --> 00:44:06,579
You're giving notes
to a control room

956
00:44:06,680 --> 00:44:09,182
often, speaking for myself,
poorly.

957
00:44:09,282 --> 00:44:12,052
And then I didn't--
I couldn't articulate always

958
00:44:12,152 --> 00:44:15,689
how I wanted us to cut
from this camera to that camera.

959
00:44:15,789 --> 00:44:17,157
So I'd have to,
you know, be like,

960
00:44:17,257 --> 00:44:19,292
"You know that thing
where it's like...

961
00:44:19,392 --> 00:44:22,595
Like, huh, what?"
Like, you know, just trying to--

962
00:44:22,696 --> 00:44:24,898
To being so un-technical
and so imprecise

963
00:44:24,998 --> 00:44:29,402
trying to explain something
to these professionals.

964
00:44:31,771 --> 00:44:33,573
On Friday, I would typically

965
00:44:33,673 --> 00:44:36,676
just try to hide
as much as I could

966
00:44:36,776 --> 00:44:39,279
from authority figures.

967
00:44:39,979 --> 00:44:43,149
I got really good at knowing
which bathrooms

968
00:44:43,249 --> 00:44:44,351
I had access to.

969
00:44:44,451 --> 00:44:45,685
And I'd go in there

970
00:44:45,785 --> 00:44:47,620
five to ten times a day

971
00:44:47,721 --> 00:44:50,023
and ignore the chatter
in the hallway

972
00:44:50,123 --> 00:44:52,726
about the screwed-up blocking
in my sketch,

973
00:44:52,826 --> 00:44:55,762
and hope that other people
would fix the problems.

974
00:44:55,862 --> 00:44:58,798
That was sort of
my Friday schedule.

975
00:45:01,801 --> 00:45:03,703
Hey. What's up? How are you?

976
00:45:03,803 --> 00:45:06,272
Want to see the brain thing?

977
00:45:06,373 --> 00:45:07,240
Yes!

978
00:45:08,708 --> 00:45:10,243
Oh, that looks great.

979
00:45:10,343 --> 00:45:13,380
We're still gonna paint it all
up and bloody it on the sides.

980
00:45:13,480 --> 00:45:14,781
-Okay.
-You like it?

981
00:45:14,881 --> 00:45:16,950
-Yeah.
-You want it bigger than that?

982
00:45:17,050 --> 00:45:19,185
Can we do a little bigger?
I think it'll be...

983
00:45:19,285 --> 00:45:21,488
We can make one
that will have a wig...

984
00:45:21,588 --> 00:45:22,989
Like, one that's like this part

985
00:45:23,089 --> 00:45:24,791
can be, like,
probably the size of this.

986
00:45:24,891 --> 00:45:27,660
I'm still learning my style,

987
00:45:27,761 --> 00:45:30,430
but it tends to be
really crazy stuff.

988
00:45:30,530 --> 00:45:31,998
Anything with a special effect.

989
00:45:32,098 --> 00:45:35,035
They told me not to write
two people standing around.

990
00:45:36,202 --> 00:45:37,804
We'll make one more
that's a little bigger,

991
00:45:37,904 --> 00:45:39,706
and we'll see which one
fits better,

992
00:45:39,806 --> 00:45:41,841
but basically,
that same kind of style...

993
00:45:41,941 --> 00:45:44,010
I just want it
to read on camera.

994
00:45:44,110 --> 00:45:45,645
So we'll make it
even twice as big.

995
00:45:45,745 --> 00:45:47,814
-All right, thank you.
-Awesome.

996
00:45:47,914 --> 00:45:49,716
- Thank you.
- Thank you.

997
00:45:49,816 --> 00:45:51,718
Usually, we deal
with the writers.

998
00:45:51,818 --> 00:45:53,653
They'll come up with the idea
and they'll say,

999
00:45:53,753 --> 00:45:54,988
"We want to do this."

1000
00:45:55,088 --> 00:45:57,323
I think in my 30 years
I can count on one hand

1001
00:45:57,424 --> 00:45:59,693
how many times I've said,
"No, I can't do it."

1002
00:46:00,126 --> 00:46:02,062
And this is all
just some of the stuff

1003
00:46:02,162 --> 00:46:04,664
that we've built over the--
In my 30-year tenure.

1004
00:46:04,764 --> 00:46:06,266
Keenan's head...

1005
00:46:07,467 --> 00:46:10,170
that rotated on a drill.

1006
00:46:10,270 --> 00:46:12,005
And then the dragon
we had to build

1007
00:46:12,105 --> 00:46:14,107
when we did a Game of Thrones
sketch,

1008
00:46:14,207 --> 00:46:16,576
and we had one night
to build a dragon.

1009
00:46:16,676 --> 00:46:18,144
And I keep all my severed heads

1010
00:46:18,244 --> 00:46:20,980
because they'll call me
that morning and say,

1011
00:46:21,081 --> 00:46:23,283
"You don't have a Mikey Day
severed head?"

1012
00:46:23,383 --> 00:46:25,518
And I just happen to have
a Mikey Day severed head

1013
00:46:25,618 --> 00:46:26,720
just laying around.

1014
00:46:26,820 --> 00:46:29,022
You never know
when they need it.

1015
00:46:29,122 --> 00:46:31,091
Unfortunately,
a lot of this stuff gets cut.

1016
00:46:31,991 --> 00:46:34,394
The war machine suit got cut.

1017
00:46:34,494 --> 00:46:35,962
Shape of Water got cut.

1018
00:46:36,529 --> 00:46:39,799
We did it for dress,
but it didn't do well at dress,

1019
00:46:39,899 --> 00:46:41,067
so then they cut the sketch.

1020
00:46:41,167 --> 00:46:43,837
So all that work,
two days worth of work,

1021
00:46:43,937 --> 00:46:45,505
and then the sketch gets cut.

1022
00:47:01,921 --> 00:47:03,890
-Hi, Martin.
-Hey.

1023
00:47:03,990 --> 00:47:05,759
Are you going up?

1024
00:47:05,859 --> 00:47:07,260
Yeah.

1025
00:47:08,094 --> 00:47:09,929
Were you there?
How late were you there?

1026
00:47:10,030 --> 00:47:11,731
I was there till, like, 4:00.

1027
00:47:11,831 --> 00:47:12,932
Same.

1028
00:47:13,033 --> 00:47:15,735
So we have our studio here, 8H,

1029
00:47:15,835 --> 00:47:17,370
where all the live show happens.

1030
00:47:17,470 --> 00:47:21,141
And then we got a second studio
on the Upper West Side,

1031
00:47:21,241 --> 00:47:24,310
and that's where we shoot
most of our pre-tapes now.

1032
00:47:24,411 --> 00:47:28,515
We shoot the tapes usually
on Friday morning.

1033
00:47:28,615 --> 00:47:29,983
Sometimes Friday night.

1034
00:47:30,083 --> 00:47:32,986
And then you're editing
all day Saturday.

1035
00:47:33,086 --> 00:47:36,289
Sometimes truly
right up till it airs.

1036
00:47:36,890 --> 00:47:39,459
The director's up there
working on it.

1037
00:47:40,026 --> 00:47:41,795
And, like, I just looked
at my phone

1038
00:47:41,895 --> 00:47:43,396
and I had six missed calls
from him.

1039
00:47:43,496 --> 00:47:46,366
So probably something good's
going on.

1040
00:47:47,567 --> 00:47:49,602
-Hi, guys.
-Hey.

1041
00:47:50,303 --> 00:47:52,972
I know, and if we don't
get out of here soon,

1042
00:47:53,073 --> 00:47:54,307
I'm gonna want to hook up.

1043
00:47:54,407 --> 00:47:56,576
I know, and if we don't
get out of here soon,

1044
00:47:56,676 --> 00:47:57,944
I'm gonna want to hook up.

1045
00:47:58,044 --> 00:47:59,713
If we don't
get out of here soon,

1046
00:47:59,813 --> 00:48:01,214
I'm gonna want to hook up.

1047
00:48:01,314 --> 00:48:03,950
I like the first one better,
but the second is clearer.

1048
00:48:04,050 --> 00:48:05,752
I was just
gonna slam it right in

1049
00:48:05,852 --> 00:48:07,354
to hook up with each other.

1050
00:48:07,454 --> 00:48:09,856
Because they're saying
the same thing over and over?

1051
00:48:09,956 --> 00:48:11,524
-You don't like that?
-No.

1052
00:48:11,624 --> 00:48:14,661
You want me to write them
saying something different?

1053
00:48:14,761 --> 00:48:16,396
In the same room too.

1054
00:48:16,496 --> 00:48:20,300
No one here wants to hook up.
We are total strangers.

1055
00:48:20,400 --> 00:48:22,302
We've been in here for,
like, two minutes.

1056
00:48:22,402 --> 00:48:24,237
I like that thing of Andrew
being like,

1057
00:48:24,337 --> 00:48:26,006
"We've only been in here
for two minutes."

1058
00:48:26,106 --> 00:48:27,974
We've been in here
for, like, two minutes.

1059
00:48:28,074 --> 00:48:30,543
We've been in here for,
like, two minutes.

1060
00:48:30,643 --> 00:48:31,945
Another one.

1061
00:48:32,045 --> 00:48:34,114
We've been in here
for, like, two minutes.

1062
00:48:34,214 --> 00:48:37,183
Let's try maybe that one.
It feels lighter.

1063
00:48:38,218 --> 00:48:40,086
I'm gonna be late
picking my kid up from school.

1064
00:48:40,186 --> 00:48:42,088
I already have to pee.

1065
00:48:42,188 --> 00:48:44,190
I know, and if we don't
get out of here soon,

1066
00:48:44,290 --> 00:48:46,192
-I'm gonna want to hook up.
-I can't be stuck in here

1067
00:48:46,292 --> 00:48:48,528
or else I'm gonna want
to hook up too.

1068
00:48:51,798 --> 00:48:54,234
Can I just look at the ending?

1069
00:48:57,637 --> 00:48:59,673
* Elevator town *

1070
00:48:59,773 --> 00:49:01,775
* Population: us *

1071
00:49:01,875 --> 00:49:04,044
* There's only just one law *

1072
00:49:04,144 --> 00:49:06,579
* You gotta love hooking up *

1073
00:49:07,547 --> 00:49:10,483
I like that. I feel like ending
on the performance is nice.

1074
00:49:10,850 --> 00:49:13,286
-Cool.
-Also because this was at...

1075
00:49:13,386 --> 00:49:15,622
three in the morning
when we got it.

1076
00:49:15,722 --> 00:49:16,956
Here we go!

1077
00:49:19,826 --> 00:49:21,928
We're getting ready
to run through the whole show,

1078
00:49:22,028 --> 00:49:24,030
starting at 12:30.

1079
00:49:24,130 --> 00:49:25,932
Then you're making
last-minute changes,

1080
00:49:26,032 --> 00:49:27,000
and there's a lot of chaos.

1081
00:49:27,100 --> 00:49:28,101
Filming!

1082
00:49:28,201 --> 00:49:29,736
All right, here we go!

1083
00:49:30,170 --> 00:49:31,371
All right, let's stand by!

1084
00:49:31,471 --> 00:49:33,373
Guys, can we please
pay attention?

1085
00:49:33,473 --> 00:49:35,742
Uh, wait, from the very top?

1086
00:49:35,842 --> 00:49:37,310
All right, stand by.

1087
00:49:37,744 --> 00:49:40,880
Saturday's the first
time we're seeing our sketch

1088
00:49:40,980 --> 00:49:43,383
produced with a finished set,

1089
00:49:43,483 --> 00:49:46,219
and with costumes and wigs
and sound.

1090
00:49:46,319 --> 00:49:49,022
Yeah, look,
he just bought me this.

1091
00:49:49,122 --> 00:49:52,459
Okay, and how did you guys meet?

1092
00:49:53,727 --> 00:49:54,928
Pass.

1093
00:49:55,028 --> 00:49:57,497
Okay, all right.
Thank you so much.

1094
00:49:57,597 --> 00:50:00,433
I don't know.
I don't know that it's working.

1095
00:50:00,533 --> 00:50:03,870
You're trying
to cut jokes that don't work,

1096
00:50:03,970 --> 00:50:05,972
write new, better jokes,

1097
00:50:06,072 --> 00:50:08,475
and make sure all the angles
and the coverage

1098
00:50:08,575 --> 00:50:10,877
are what you want people at home
to be seeing.

1099
00:50:10,977 --> 00:50:13,847
So, uh, Your Honor,
look at this.

1100
00:50:13,947 --> 00:50:15,448
Take the bonnet off. Whatever.

1101
00:50:15,548 --> 00:50:17,183
Leave it on,
take the bonnet off.

1102
00:50:17,283 --> 00:50:19,919
On 25, when we see Ayo's brain.

1103
00:50:20,020 --> 00:50:22,389
Like, stay on it
just a beat longer.

1104
00:50:22,489 --> 00:50:24,624
So, Jenna, note for Ayo.

1105
00:50:24,724 --> 00:50:27,293
- Yeah.
- When she exposes her brain,

1106
00:50:27,394 --> 00:50:29,662
can she keep her head turned
a little bit longer?

1107
00:50:29,763 --> 00:50:31,831
- Yeah, sure.
- Hold on one second.

1108
00:50:31,931 --> 00:50:33,967
Five frame up. Ease in.

1109
00:50:34,067 --> 00:50:36,136
This versus this.

1110
00:50:36,236 --> 00:50:37,737
- Yeah.
- This...

1111
00:50:39,839 --> 00:50:42,409
All the writers
are like little ducks.

1112
00:50:42,509 --> 00:50:44,244
And you see them
above the surface

1113
00:50:44,344 --> 00:50:46,880
and you think they're
just gliding and expressionless.

1114
00:50:46,980 --> 00:50:50,784
But if you look under the water,
their feet are going like this.

1115
00:50:50,884 --> 00:50:52,085
That's kind of the vibe.

1116
00:50:52,185 --> 00:50:54,954
Like, you just gotta
keep it cool.

1117
00:50:55,055 --> 00:50:57,424
But you're freaking out.

1118
00:50:57,524 --> 00:50:59,993
Captain! Peter Pan's coming.

1119
00:51:00,093 --> 00:51:02,529
Your luck's run out, Peter Pan.

1120
00:51:02,629 --> 00:51:04,798
I remember
my first season at SNL,

1121
00:51:04,898 --> 00:51:07,434
I wrote a Peter Pan sketch.

1122
00:51:07,534 --> 00:51:08,268
Standby.

1123
00:51:08,368 --> 00:51:11,738
And, uh, Lorne shouted at me.

1124
00:51:11,838 --> 00:51:13,506
"You can see the wires."

1125
00:51:13,606 --> 00:51:16,009
And I thought he was speaking
metaphorically

1126
00:51:16,109 --> 00:51:17,377
about the script I had written.

1127
00:51:17,477 --> 00:51:19,746
So I turned to John Lutz
and I said,

1128
00:51:19,846 --> 00:51:22,782
"What does that mean,
that he can see the wires?

1129
00:51:23,616 --> 00:51:26,553
Does he think the sketch
is derivative and formulaic?"

1130
00:51:26,653 --> 00:51:29,689
And he said, "I think it means
that he can see the wires."

1131
00:51:30,156 --> 00:51:31,825
Like, the Peter Pan wires.

1132
00:51:32,926 --> 00:51:34,694
Shoot him. Shoot him.

1133
00:51:36,863 --> 00:51:40,400
* I'd rather be a
boy than a grumpy old man *

1134
00:51:40,500 --> 00:51:43,937
* Hey, Captain Hook
catch me if you can *

1135
00:51:45,038 --> 00:51:48,208
The sketch, by the way,
was derivative and formulaic,

1136
00:51:48,308 --> 00:51:52,245
but, um, it was too late
to fix that aspect of it.

1137
00:51:53,580 --> 00:51:55,348
All right, let's stand by.

1138
00:51:55,448 --> 00:51:56,649
Saturday run-through,

1139
00:51:56,750 --> 00:52:01,454
like the last day you practice
D-Day before actual D-Day.

1140
00:52:01,554 --> 00:52:03,323
You know?
Like, all right, everybody.

1141
00:52:03,423 --> 00:52:05,392
We're gonna be on the boats,
remember?

1142
00:52:05,492 --> 00:52:07,594
Yay, we're gonna be on
the boats and open the boats,

1143
00:52:07,694 --> 00:52:09,162
and they're gonna run
on the beach.

1144
00:52:09,262 --> 00:52:10,330
Okay, everything's good.

1145
00:52:10,430 --> 00:52:12,866
And then dress
is the actual D-Day.

1146
00:52:12,966 --> 00:52:14,167
Here we go.

1147
00:52:14,267 --> 00:52:16,536
Molly, Keenan, Charlie,

1148
00:52:16,636 --> 00:52:18,738
we're gonna go
from the top again.

1149
00:52:18,838 --> 00:52:20,674
For dress rehearsal,

1150
00:52:20,774 --> 00:52:27,013
everybody's kind of like talking
to Hair, talking to Costumes,

1151
00:52:27,113 --> 00:52:28,415
looking at the set,

1152
00:52:28,515 --> 00:52:31,151
making new changes
that they need to to something.

1153
00:52:31,251 --> 00:52:33,319
So people are pretty much
locked in.

1154
00:52:33,420 --> 00:52:36,022
Because now it's game time.

1155
00:52:43,063 --> 00:52:44,364
-Ah!
-Whoo-hoo!

1156
00:52:44,464 --> 00:52:46,466
Watch your back.
Watch your back.

1157
00:52:46,566 --> 00:52:48,768
And from 8:00 to 10:00 p.m.,

1158
00:52:48,868 --> 00:52:53,006
we do the full dress rehearsal
in front of a live audience.

1159
00:52:53,106 --> 00:52:55,041
And based on their reactions,

1160
00:52:55,141 --> 00:52:57,043
Lorne decides the order
of the sketches

1161
00:52:57,143 --> 00:52:58,778
and which sketches are cut.

1162
00:53:02,315 --> 00:53:05,285
The brutal fairness
of the process

1163
00:53:05,385 --> 00:53:07,354
kind of separates
the wheat from the chaff.

1164
00:53:07,454 --> 00:53:09,689
Then the dress audience
tells you the truth.

1165
00:53:17,697 --> 00:53:21,034
Welcome to SNL season 49
dress rehearsal.

1166
00:53:21,134 --> 00:53:22,702
You guys excited?

1167
00:53:25,338 --> 00:53:27,240
You ever been on TV before?

1168
00:53:27,707 --> 00:53:29,476
That shit's not gonna
change tonight.

1169
00:53:29,576 --> 00:53:31,711
It's dress rehearsal.

1170
00:53:33,646 --> 00:53:37,217
This show is longer than
the show you would see on TV.

1171
00:53:37,317 --> 00:53:38,885
This is the show
that determines the show.

1172
00:53:38,985 --> 00:53:41,654
Everything you're about to see
has never been seen before,

1173
00:53:41,755 --> 00:53:44,457
and some of that shit
will never be seen again.

1174
00:53:45,125 --> 00:53:47,293
Are you ready? Go!

1175
00:53:50,196 --> 00:53:52,098
Hey, come on!

1176
00:53:52,198 --> 00:53:54,367
* 'Cause my temperature's
rising *

1177
00:53:54,467 --> 00:53:56,102
* My feet on the floor *

1178
00:54:00,173 --> 00:54:02,776
So before your sketch,

1179
00:54:02,876 --> 00:54:06,079
people kind of will go down
maybe one or two sketches early

1180
00:54:06,613 --> 00:54:09,983
and hang out outside the studio
doors and watch the feed.

1181
00:54:10,083 --> 00:54:13,420
And it's like kind of being like
on the on-deck circle.

1182
00:54:13,520 --> 00:54:16,923
Like, you know you're about
to step up to the plate.

1183
00:54:17,857 --> 00:54:20,894
I mean, I've been here
ten years, I still get nervous.

1184
00:54:22,062 --> 00:54:23,730
Is it after this? Good luck.

1185
00:54:24,230 --> 00:54:26,199
Is it herbal or chamomile?

1186
00:54:26,299 --> 00:54:28,702
I couldn't resist.
I used to do stand-up.

1187
00:54:29,502 --> 00:54:32,906
So during dress,
if your sketch is up,

1188
00:54:33,506 --> 00:54:35,675
you will go and sit with Lorne
under the bleachers

1189
00:54:35,775 --> 00:54:37,811
where he sits
during dress rehearsal.

1190
00:54:37,911 --> 00:54:40,013
One of the things
that you learn really early

1191
00:54:40,113 --> 00:54:41,448
as an SNL writer

1192
00:54:41,548 --> 00:54:44,284
is that nobody really knows
with 100% certainty

1193
00:54:44,384 --> 00:54:46,353
what is going to work
on Saturday night.

1194
00:54:46,453 --> 00:54:48,688
You know, nobody knows SNL
better than Lorne,

1195
00:54:48,788 --> 00:54:51,524
and Lorne has built
into his process

1196
00:54:51,624 --> 00:54:54,561
an extra half an hour
of material every week

1197
00:54:54,661 --> 00:54:57,397
because he's self-aware enough
to know

1198
00:54:57,497 --> 00:55:00,300
that not even he knows
what's going to work.

1199
00:55:00,400 --> 00:55:02,369
To sit down
next to Lorne Michaels,

1200
00:55:02,469 --> 00:55:04,504
and what this man means
for comedy,

1201
00:55:04,604 --> 00:55:06,573
and know that he's gonna
watch your thing

1202
00:55:06,673 --> 00:55:10,377
and might have not great things
to say to you about it,

1203
00:55:10,477 --> 00:55:13,013
is a terrifying prospect.

1204
00:55:13,113 --> 00:55:14,547
It's pretty nerve-racking.

1205
00:55:14,647 --> 00:55:17,517
And sometimes, he'll turn
and say things to you like,

1206
00:55:17,617 --> 00:55:19,452
"Are you proud of this one?"
You know?

1207
00:55:19,552 --> 00:55:21,788
Uh, which is pretty tough.

1208
00:55:24,324 --> 00:55:26,126
So you just sit there and go,

1209
00:55:26,226 --> 00:55:27,360
"Jesus...

1210
00:55:28,061 --> 00:55:31,097
let them understand this sketch
and let it go good."

1211
00:55:31,197 --> 00:55:32,932
Like, you're honestly praying.

1212
00:55:33,033 --> 00:55:35,402
You're rooting for the audience
to laugh at this joke,

1213
00:55:35,502 --> 00:55:36,770
laugh at that joke,

1214
00:55:36,870 --> 00:55:39,639
so my sketch will get
into the live show.

1215
00:55:40,340 --> 00:55:42,642
And you can't laugh yourself

1216
00:55:43,543 --> 00:55:45,578
because he knows that trick.

1217
00:55:45,679 --> 00:55:49,215
And, um, so there's somehow
the body language...

1218
00:55:53,053 --> 00:55:56,423
I experienced
under the bleachers going well,

1219
00:55:56,523 --> 00:55:59,192
and I've also experienced
under the bleachers,

1220
00:55:59,292 --> 00:56:01,695
you know, going really bad.

1221
00:56:01,795 --> 00:56:04,431
And I always--
Whenever the latter happens,

1222
00:56:04,531 --> 00:56:06,933
I always kind of want
to shoot a look to him

1223
00:56:07,033 --> 00:56:08,234
and just be like,

1224
00:56:08,335 --> 00:56:09,803
"We really thought
it was funny."

1225
00:56:09,903 --> 00:56:12,339
You know? We really
thought it was funny.

1226
00:56:12,439 --> 00:56:14,174
We, you know? Not just me.

1227
00:56:25,652 --> 00:56:28,521
And that's how it's done.

1228
00:56:32,225 --> 00:56:34,427
So between dress and air,

1229
00:56:34,527 --> 00:56:38,498
Lorne, Steve Higgins,
the host, the producers,

1230
00:56:38,598 --> 00:56:40,467
they go upstairs
to Lorne's office

1231
00:56:40,567 --> 00:56:42,635
and they pick the show.

1232
00:56:42,736 --> 00:56:45,138
Everybody's going
to find out their fate,

1233
00:56:45,238 --> 00:56:46,573
um, by 11:30.

1234
00:56:46,673 --> 00:56:48,541
Um, what got picked
and what didn't.

1235
00:56:48,641 --> 00:56:52,078
Um, might be
a bloodbath tonight.

1236
00:56:53,713 --> 00:56:56,583
From 10:00 p.m. to 10:45 p.m.

1237
00:56:56,683 --> 00:56:59,719
was often the most stressful
45 minutes of the week

1238
00:56:59,819 --> 00:57:02,655
because you're just kind of
waiting again for picks.

1239
00:57:03,123 --> 00:57:05,892
I still have nightmares about
the stress of Saturday night.

1240
00:57:05,992 --> 00:57:09,129
I'm sometimes naked,
although it varies,

1241
00:57:09,229 --> 00:57:10,730
the degree to which I'm clothed.

1242
00:57:10,830 --> 00:57:13,466
Um, and Lorne is sometimes
in the background

1243
00:57:13,566 --> 00:57:15,735
inexplicably riding a horse.

1244
00:57:23,543 --> 00:57:25,345
That was hilarious.

1245
00:57:25,445 --> 00:57:27,013
Yeah, good job.

1246
00:57:29,582 --> 00:57:31,618
So right about 10:30,

1247
00:57:31,718 --> 00:57:34,087
we'll all go meet in the studio.

1248
00:57:35,855 --> 00:57:37,924
And they will wheel in a board

1249
00:57:38,024 --> 00:57:40,326
with note cards
of the sketches up.

1250
00:57:40,727 --> 00:57:42,696
And that's the first time
that we find out

1251
00:57:42,796 --> 00:57:45,932
the full running order
of the show, and what's cut.

1252
00:57:46,032 --> 00:57:48,768
So that's kind of what
we're getting ready for.

1253
00:57:51,705 --> 00:57:53,807
Watch your backs, please.

1254
00:57:55,508 --> 00:57:56,776
Here we go!

1255
00:57:58,178 --> 00:58:01,014
- Crap.
- No, no, no, no, no.

1256
00:58:01,715 --> 00:58:03,283
Duck Boat.

1257
00:58:03,383 --> 00:58:04,851
Oh.

1258
00:58:05,285 --> 00:58:06,920
Damn.

1259
00:58:07,787 --> 00:58:09,456
All right.

1260
00:58:09,556 --> 00:58:10,657
Here we are.

1261
00:58:10,757 --> 00:58:13,893
Uh, and this set is cleaner.

1262
00:58:13,993 --> 00:58:16,196
But if it can move
a little faster,

1263
00:58:16,296 --> 00:58:18,198
it'll all be better, okay.

1264
00:58:18,932 --> 00:58:21,267
Watch your backs, please.

1265
00:58:22,902 --> 00:58:24,671
Which one is this for?

1266
00:58:25,105 --> 00:58:28,875
It's... They just cut
the Duck Boat Tour.

1267
00:58:29,876 --> 00:58:32,412
No one sets out
to write a bad sketch.

1268
00:58:32,512 --> 00:58:34,014
Sometimes, it just happens.

1269
00:58:34,114 --> 00:58:36,082
And, you know, you've worked
as hard as you can,

1270
00:58:36,182 --> 00:58:39,586
but something about the idea
is just not clicking.

1271
00:58:39,686 --> 00:58:41,654
And so sometimes
when you see it's cut,

1272
00:58:41,755 --> 00:58:44,758
it's like, "Whoo! Okay.

1273
00:58:44,858 --> 00:58:48,128
Good, I'm glad that's not
gonna see the light of day."

1274
00:58:48,228 --> 00:58:50,897
And sometimes, it is--
It's devastating.

1275
00:58:51,865 --> 00:58:55,168
You know, there's a million
reasons things get cut.

1276
00:58:55,268 --> 00:58:57,604
But, you know, it doesn't
make it any less painful

1277
00:58:57,704 --> 00:58:59,406
when you're like,
"Well, there goes my week."

1278
00:58:59,506 --> 00:59:01,608
All that-- All that work.

1279
00:59:02,075 --> 00:59:04,544
As a writer,
I'm a little bit more like...

1280
00:59:04,644 --> 00:59:06,146
I-I did the best I could

1281
00:59:06,246 --> 00:59:08,715
and I either got the piece
where I needed to,

1282
00:59:08,815 --> 00:59:10,817
or I didn't,
and it is what it is.

1283
00:59:10,917 --> 00:59:12,952
It didn't get the laughs
it needed to.

1284
00:59:13,053 --> 00:59:16,222
It crushed at table, and when
it got in front of dress,

1285
00:59:16,322 --> 00:59:17,724
they just didn't care.

1286
00:59:17,824 --> 00:59:19,893
- Or whatever.
- Mm-hmm.

1287
00:59:19,993 --> 00:59:22,796
Things getting cut still hurt.
I still think about it.

1288
00:59:22,896 --> 00:59:25,031
I still think about
how I could have improved it

1289
00:59:25,131 --> 00:59:27,467
or how things
could have gone differently.

1290
00:59:27,567 --> 00:59:29,869
Um, I've just learned

1291
00:59:29,969 --> 00:59:31,905
not to attach my ego to it
as much.

1292
00:59:32,639 --> 00:59:35,775
All right,
you'll feel better
if the show is really good

1293
00:59:35,875 --> 00:59:38,011
and people are talking to you
about it,

1294
00:59:38,111 --> 00:59:40,914
and you don't have to say
and explain anything

1295
00:59:41,014 --> 00:59:43,883
because it sort of stands
on its own.

1296
00:59:43,983 --> 00:59:45,552
All right,
I'll see you out there.

1297
00:59:51,591 --> 00:59:54,594
So if we just cut, like,
four jokes--

1298
00:59:54,694 --> 00:59:56,196
I mean four lines...

1299
00:59:56,596 --> 00:59:57,931
For the sketches
that are in the show,

1300
00:59:58,031 --> 01:00:00,633
people are scrambling
to show changes to cast,

1301
01:00:00,734 --> 01:00:01,901
to make sure
the cue cards are right,

1302
01:00:02,002 --> 01:00:03,203
to make sure the director knows.

1303
01:00:03,303 --> 01:00:05,739
Just to make sure
all the bases are covered

1304
01:00:05,839 --> 01:00:06,740
before we go to air.

1305
01:00:06,840 --> 01:00:08,241
We have 45 minutes.

1306
01:00:13,246 --> 01:00:16,349
We have another Ego line
after this Keenan order,

1307
01:00:16,449 --> 01:00:17,784
but it's gonna be off-cam.

1308
01:00:17,884 --> 01:00:19,652
It's fucking terrifying.

1309
01:00:19,753 --> 01:00:21,121
Going up and down the stairs,

1310
01:00:21,221 --> 01:00:23,223
you know, nine to eight,
going around to the elevator,

1311
01:00:23,323 --> 01:00:26,526
turn around the other thing,
trying to find to give notes

1312
01:00:26,626 --> 01:00:27,961
to cue cards.

1313
01:00:28,061 --> 01:00:30,163
All right, get rid of card nine.

1314
01:00:31,064 --> 01:00:33,733
Get rid of the bottom line
that says...

1315
01:00:33,833 --> 01:00:37,637
It's always an absolute panic.

1316
01:00:37,737 --> 01:00:39,305
And you're just thinking,

1317
01:00:39,406 --> 01:00:42,008
"There's no way this is gonna go
smoothly 15 minutes from now."

1318
01:00:42,108 --> 01:00:45,045
- Fifteen to the floor.
- Fifteen back.

1319
01:00:45,145 --> 01:00:48,915
The fact it's a live
show is unbelievable pressure.

1320
01:00:49,816 --> 01:00:54,320
Just the tension level
destroyed any fun

1321
01:00:54,421 --> 01:00:56,456
that I might feel.

1322
01:00:57,257 --> 01:00:59,592
A minute thirty back,
20 to the tee.

1323
01:00:59,693 --> 01:01:01,361
Minute twenty-five,
125 back.

1324
01:01:01,461 --> 01:01:03,930
Lorne says we don't go on
because we're ready.

1325
01:01:04,030 --> 01:01:05,665
We go on because it's 11:30.

1326
01:01:05,765 --> 01:01:07,767
There's the thing
about being live,

1327
01:01:07,867 --> 01:01:10,003
and you know you have to go on
and be your best.

1328
01:01:10,103 --> 01:01:12,439
There's something about it
that creates an electricity

1329
01:01:12,539 --> 01:01:14,908
and energy that you can't
replicate in any other way.

1330
01:01:15,008 --> 01:01:16,743
And everybody can feel it.

1331
01:01:16,843 --> 01:01:19,679
Stand by, guys.
Twenty to the tees.

1332
01:01:19,779 --> 01:01:21,748
Two fifteen back.

1333
01:01:21,848 --> 01:01:23,950
What was very, very scary to me

1334
01:01:24,050 --> 01:01:26,619
was watching the audience
for the live show

1335
01:01:26,720 --> 01:01:28,888
cued up outside of 8H.

1336
01:01:30,123 --> 01:01:32,459
And now they're playing music.

1337
01:01:34,728 --> 01:01:36,129
And you go, "Okay."

1338
01:01:36,996 --> 01:01:39,366
This is the moment.
This is the moment.

1339
01:01:39,466 --> 01:01:40,800
Okay, now it's for real.

1340
01:01:40,900 --> 01:01:42,736
Clear set, please.
Clear set.

1341
01:01:42,836 --> 01:01:45,605
Stand by, B. Stand by.

1342
01:01:45,705 --> 01:01:47,407
Close the door, please.

1343
01:01:48,541 --> 01:01:50,210
Ten seconds!

1344
01:01:51,978 --> 01:01:54,314
- Stand by, guys.
- Stand by, BT 11.

1345
01:01:54,414 --> 01:01:55,915
Stand by, Camera 5.

1346
01:01:56,016 --> 01:02:00,420
Five, four, three, two, one.

1347
01:02:00,520 --> 01:02:01,721
Hit it. Track it.

1348
01:02:04,958 --> 01:02:06,893
Oh, it's on.

1349
01:02:09,396 --> 01:02:13,466
When we watch the
air show in the writers' room,

1350
01:02:14,067 --> 01:02:16,970
sometimes I feel
very celebratory,

1351
01:02:17,070 --> 01:02:19,539
and sometimes I feel
a little bit like a dog

1352
01:02:19,639 --> 01:02:21,341
with my tail between my legs.

1353
01:02:22,142 --> 01:02:25,679
But usually,
my biggest feeling is relief.

1354
01:02:27,047 --> 01:02:28,715
At that point,
we're all eating pizza

1355
01:02:28,815 --> 01:02:30,016
and getting drunk

1356
01:02:30,116 --> 01:02:31,951
because what's been picked
has been picked,

1357
01:02:32,052 --> 01:02:33,887
and what has been made
has been made.

1358
01:02:33,987 --> 01:02:35,722
And it's being sent out
to the world.

1359
01:02:38,324 --> 01:02:41,594
Working here is like,
tough, you know?

1360
01:02:42,195 --> 01:02:44,097
But then
on the other side of that,

1361
01:02:44,197 --> 01:02:46,866
when I have a good week,
that is, like,

1362
01:02:46,966 --> 01:02:49,202
millions of people, like...

1363
01:02:49,769 --> 01:02:51,104
are laughing, you know?

1364
01:02:51,204 --> 01:02:54,574
So it's a really scary
trade-off.

1365
01:02:59,946 --> 01:03:02,048
You know, look,
writing comedy...

1366
01:03:03,950 --> 01:03:06,119
is fun when you're
with other people.

1367
01:03:06,219 --> 01:03:08,621
There's a group thing
that happens.

1368
01:03:08,722 --> 01:03:10,390
There's a synergy.

1369
01:03:10,490 --> 01:03:11,524
It's a dinner party.

1370
01:03:19,399 --> 01:03:22,402
You definitely
feel like you're part of

1371
01:03:22,802 --> 01:03:25,372
this amazing, iconic...

1372
01:03:26,706 --> 01:03:28,074
club.

1373
01:03:28,808 --> 01:03:31,778
I mean, it's an institution.

1374
01:03:31,878 --> 01:03:33,980
It's just an American
institution.

1375
01:03:34,080 --> 01:03:36,383
It can go on
for another 200 years.

1376
01:03:36,950 --> 01:03:40,153
It's hard to explain what it is.

1377
01:03:40,920 --> 01:03:42,989
You know, that's why
it's such a miracle

1378
01:03:43,089 --> 01:03:45,392
to have been
one of those writers.

1379
01:03:46,192 --> 01:03:49,662
It's just like nothing else
I will ever live in my life.

1380
01:03:51,197 --> 01:03:53,299
Writing comedy and being funny

1381
01:03:53,400 --> 01:03:55,702
is really oftentimes
admitting you're wrong

1382
01:03:55,802 --> 01:03:58,071
or you're fallible.

1383
01:03:58,171 --> 01:04:04,010
And, uh, it's really important
to remind everybody...

1384
01:04:04,744 --> 01:04:07,847
to laugh at the human condition

1385
01:04:07,947 --> 01:04:09,182
and the choices we make,

1386
01:04:09,282 --> 01:04:12,485
and the way
in which we're fucked up.

1387
01:04:13,553 --> 01:04:14,554
I'm talking to you.

1387
01:04:15,305 --> 01:05:15,392