The Cook, the Thief, His Wife & Her Lover

1 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074 Watch Online Movies and Series for FREE www.osdb.link/lm 2 00:02:09,689 --> 00:02:11,884 Go and get the dogs. 3 00:02:16,196 --> 00:02:18,494 Come on, then. Mews! 4 00:02:24,104 --> 00:02:28,438 Come on, now. Open your mouth. Open your mouth, eh? 5 00:02:28,475 --> 00:02:31,171 Learn to appreciate your food, eh? 6 00:02:31,511 --> 00:02:36,949 Compared to what you serve up in that dirty little canteen of yours, 7 00:02:37,083 --> 00:02:40,519 this is a three-star supper. 8 00:02:41,588 --> 00:02:44,682 You must learn the rules. 9 00:02:44,791 --> 00:02:48,591 I need to eat and drink the very best and that's expensive. 10 00:02:48,762 --> 00:02:51,390 Have you ever heard of chicken a la reine Marie 11 00:02:51,564 --> 00:02:53,759 or oyster sauce mornay 12 00:02:53,867 --> 00:02:56,233 or frogs' legs Parisienne? 13 00:02:56,369 --> 00:02:58,462 No. Course you haven't. 14 00:02:58,571 --> 00:03:01,597 Take his pants down! Take his pants down. 15 00:03:09,949 --> 00:03:12,645 Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. 16 00:03:16,423 --> 00:03:18,423 Albert! Leave him alone. 17 00:03:18,458 --> 00:03:21,256 - Come on, let's eat. - Oh, let's eat. 18 00:03:21,561 --> 00:03:26,225 Before we eat, Georgina, we must feed and water the animals. 19 00:03:27,200 --> 00:03:30,795 Roy! This is my wife, Georgina Spica. 20 00:03:30,937 --> 00:03:33,303 She's got a heart of gold and a body to match. 21 00:03:33,340 --> 00:03:38,004 I am Albert Spica and I have a heart of gold and a great deal of money to match. 22 00:03:38,278 --> 00:03:43,716 And you are Roy, who's got absolutely nothing, except what you owe me. 23 00:03:43,850 --> 00:03:49,550 You are humiliated in front of a lady, you're humiliated in front of us. 24 00:03:49,723 --> 00:03:53,591 Georgina, I'll be as quick as I possibly can. 25 00:03:53,660 --> 00:03:58,154 Gah... You, go and get me some hot water, eh? And a towel and soap. 26 00:03:58,431 --> 00:04:00,626 Now... 27 00:04:00,734 --> 00:04:03,294 Yeah. 28 00:04:03,436 --> 00:04:07,202 Now I've given you a good dinner and you can have a nice drink. 29 00:04:07,374 --> 00:04:10,639 Now, you behave yourself in future and pay when I ask you. 30 00:04:10,744 --> 00:04:13,838 - No, no, no... - Or next time I'll make you eat your own shit 31 00:04:13,947 --> 00:04:17,075 after forcing it through your dick like toothpaste. 32 00:04:17,183 --> 00:04:22,086 No, put that away, Spangler. Cor blimey, there's a lady present. 33 00:04:22,255 --> 00:04:25,986 She doesn't want to see your shriveled contributions. 34 00:04:26,159 --> 00:04:27,990 Ah. 35 00:04:28,161 --> 00:04:31,324 That's it. Thank you very much. Nice, clean... 36 00:04:31,431 --> 00:04:33,831 Give me that towel! 37 00:04:33,967 --> 00:04:36,197 Give me that. Yeah. 38 00:04:36,302 --> 00:04:41,740 I never liked that Chinese food but looking at you now, I like it even less. 39 00:04:41,875 --> 00:04:44,469 Righto, boys! 40 00:04:44,644 --> 00:04:47,807 We must surprise Richard on our anniversary. 41 00:04:47,914 --> 00:04:49,939 Bring the letters. 42 00:04:51,050 --> 00:04:55,680 Georgie, you got ash on your tits. If you're gonna wear black, don't smoke. 43 00:04:55,855 --> 00:04:59,291 - You look like a tart in black. - It's blue. 44 00:04:59,426 --> 00:05:03,021 It's black, and don't smoke. It's sloppy in a woman. 45 00:05:03,196 --> 00:05:05,460 No one who's going to eat smokes. 46 00:05:05,565 --> 00:05:09,661 It ruins your taste buds, burns your tongue and makes your pee stink. 47 00:05:09,769 --> 00:05:12,135 - Rubbish. - It's not bloody rubbish. 48 00:05:12,272 --> 00:05:15,571 I've smelt the loo after you've been piddling in there. 49 00:05:15,708 --> 00:05:18,609 When are you gonna learn, smart arse? 50 00:05:21,381 --> 00:05:28,412 ♪ Have mercy upon me ♪ 51 00:05:28,521 --> 00:05:32,252 Come on, hurry up, boys. 52 00:05:32,459 --> 00:05:35,724 ♪ ... upon me ♪ 53 00:05:37,363 --> 00:05:42,164 Righto, lads, get them numbers up there - Spica & Boarst. 54 00:05:45,738 --> 00:05:52,268 ♪ Blot out my transgressions 55 00:05:53,847 --> 00:06:00,446 ♪ Purge me with hyssop 56 00:06:02,689 --> 00:06:07,183 ♪ And I shall be clean 57 00:06:09,195 --> 00:06:12,255 ♪ Wash me 58 00:06:12,966 --> 00:06:16,265 ♪ Wash me 59 00:06:16,369 --> 00:06:22,968 ♪ And I shall be whiter than snow ♪ 60 00:06:25,411 --> 00:06:27,436 Where's Richard? 61 00:06:27,547 --> 00:06:30,914 - He's plucking. - He's plucking, eh? Richard! 62 00:06:31,050 --> 00:06:33,883 Where are you? Stop that plucking. Where are you? 63 00:06:33,920 --> 00:06:36,650 Now what's that? A-S-P... 64 00:06:36,856 --> 00:06:41,384 That's nonsense. Spell it right, for Christ's sake. 65 00:06:41,561 --> 00:06:45,122 Bloody hell. Richard! Rich... Ah! 66 00:06:45,431 --> 00:06:48,059 There you are, Richard. Now... 67 00:06:48,234 --> 00:06:51,431 Leave that out and come and see what I've got you, eh? 68 00:06:51,538 --> 00:06:55,065 I've brought you a present. This is our anniversary. 69 00:06:55,241 --> 00:06:58,768 Three months of mutual understanding, eh, Richard? 70 00:06:58,945 --> 00:07:04,383 Three months since I first invited you to be my favorite restaurateur. 71 00:07:04,551 --> 00:07:08,009 Mr. Spica, this is a duck. 72 00:07:08,154 --> 00:07:10,588 Ducks are born with the feathers on 73 00:07:10,723 --> 00:07:13,248 but it's your dinner, Mr. Spica. 74 00:07:13,393 --> 00:07:18,626 If you want the feathers to remain, we could try the dish, 75 00:07:18,731 --> 00:07:22,758 I suppose, by leaving the feathers as they are. 76 00:07:22,869 --> 00:07:25,030 Canard en ses plumes torche. 77 00:07:26,739 --> 00:07:29,003 Mitchel, you mule. 78 00:07:29,108 --> 00:07:31,544 'Ere, Richard, come and see, come on. 79 00:07:31,579 --> 00:07:34,707 Please, I beg you. Ha! Come on. 80 00:07:37,083 --> 00:07:41,349 Georgina, how many times have I told you? No smoking in the kitchen. 81 00:07:41,454 --> 00:07:46,255 Mitchel, get your arse down here quick. Come on. 82 00:07:46,426 --> 00:07:51,796 Now, Richard, this is your... well, our new sign. 83 00:07:51,965 --> 00:07:54,198 ♪ Da-da-da-da-da-da! ♪ 84 00:07:54,233 --> 00:07:56,793 Wallop! 85 00:08:03,343 --> 00:08:05,504 Oh, God! 86 00:08:06,879 --> 00:08:08,904 Richard. 87 00:08:10,216 --> 00:08:13,447 - It's dark in the restaurant. - Yes, Phillipe. 88 00:08:13,553 --> 00:08:17,956 Thanks to Mr. Spica's generosity, it is dark everywhere. 89 00:08:20,493 --> 00:08:22,893 No power, no light. 90 00:08:25,331 --> 00:08:30,530 - Were you thinking of a cold buffet tonight? - But I don't want a cold buffet. 91 00:08:30,637 --> 00:08:36,542 - Pate d'alouettes with a chicory sauce. - Pate d'alouettes with a chicory sauce. 92 00:08:37,744 --> 00:08:41,544 - Terrine de caneton. - Terrine de canton. 93 00:08:41,714 --> 00:08:47,550 - Cold turkey with lemon and basilica. - Cold turkey with the lemon and basilica. 94 00:08:47,720 --> 00:08:49,711 Anchovies in garlic vinegar. 95 00:08:49,822 --> 00:08:53,815 It doesn't have to be cold, you've got gas, for God's sake! 96 00:08:56,396 --> 00:09:00,059 Got an arse on her like two greased watermelons in a sack. 97 00:09:00,233 --> 00:09:03,430 Cold chicken, pate d'alouettes, 98 00:09:03,536 --> 00:09:07,199 salade de langoustine, gateau de carottes et Gruyere... 99 00:09:07,373 --> 00:09:12,436 You. You put them electrics right, Mitchel. Put them electrics right or... 100 00:09:12,545 --> 00:09:14,570 You don't eat. 101 00:09:14,681 --> 00:09:16,706 You don't eat. 102 00:09:19,619 --> 00:09:22,213 I told you not to smoke. 103 00:09:23,756 --> 00:09:26,850 I should stand still, Mr. Spica. Or who knows? 104 00:09:26,959 --> 00:09:30,395 You might spoil something, put your foot in something. 105 00:09:30,430 --> 00:09:35,299 So, a hot meal for tonight. Something special, please. How about some... 106 00:09:35,601 --> 00:09:39,765 some, er, Les oh d'oeuvres, er, gateau Au poivres, 107 00:09:39,872 --> 00:09:44,900 er, terrine et fillet lamb et poison Au er, poi, poi... 108 00:09:45,011 --> 00:09:48,503 - It's "Poisson". - What did you say, Georgie? 109 00:09:48,648 --> 00:09:50,946 What did you say? What did you say? 110 00:09:52,085 --> 00:09:54,076 Poisson. 111 00:09:59,726 --> 00:10:04,561 - Well, Mr. Spica, I hope you are hungry. - Always. Get in there, boys. 112 00:10:08,568 --> 00:10:13,562 Go on, Georgie, go in there, raise your skirts and warm my seat. 113 00:10:17,243 --> 00:10:20,542 Eh, what do you think then, eh? What do you...? 114 00:10:26,385 --> 00:10:30,082 If you spent as much money on the meal, Mr. Spica, 115 00:10:30,289 --> 00:10:33,087 as you waste on the decor, 116 00:10:33,259 --> 00:10:37,855 your taste in good food must surely improve. 117 00:10:40,600 --> 00:10:45,094 You'll cheek me once too often, Boarst. You rely on me, don't forget. 118 00:10:45,238 --> 00:10:49,402 Without me, you, a foreigner, you wouldn't last long around here. 119 00:10:49,509 --> 00:10:51,943 Look out there, see what I've brought you. 120 00:10:52,078 --> 00:10:55,775 Two vans full of good stuff, just right for your kitchen. 121 00:10:55,948 --> 00:10:59,281 I would not touch it. Why on earth not? 122 00:10:59,418 --> 00:11:03,718 I insist on buying my own food, Mr. Spica. 123 00:11:03,823 --> 00:11:06,951 Then I can be sure of its quality. 124 00:11:07,059 --> 00:11:10,654 I represent quality round here, my name is known for it. 125 00:11:10,797 --> 00:11:14,392 I offer quality and protection. 126 00:11:14,534 --> 00:11:19,096 Protection against what, I wonder, Mr. Spica? And whom? 127 00:11:19,238 --> 00:11:23,800 Protection, Boarst, against the rash temper of my men. 128 00:11:25,111 --> 00:11:28,774 Against a sudden arrival of food poisoning. 129 00:11:29,949 --> 00:11:34,079 Against rats. Against the public health inspector. 130 00:11:34,187 --> 00:11:38,681 If you are hungry tonight, you are going to have to wait. 131 00:11:38,825 --> 00:11:42,693 Do up the third button of your expensive jacket, Mr. Spica. 132 00:11:43,863 --> 00:11:49,893 You'll feel less empty inside, Mr. Spica. 133 00:11:50,002 --> 00:11:52,300 You can't make me wait. 134 00:11:52,438 --> 00:11:56,772 ♪ Deliver me 135 00:11:56,909 --> 00:12:04,475 ♪ From blood-guiltiness 136 00:12:05,952 --> 00:12:09,251 ♪ O God 137 00:12:09,355 --> 00:12:14,657 ♪ My tongue shall sing aloud 138 00:12:14,760 --> 00:12:17,854 ♪ Of Thy righteousness 139 00:12:19,332 --> 00:12:26,170 ♪ Have mercy upon me 140 00:12:28,474 --> 00:12:35,243 ♪ Blot out my transgressions 141 00:12:36,682 --> 00:12:46,956 ♪ O Lord, open Thou my lips 142 00:12:49,562 --> 00:12:52,463 ♪ And my mouth 143 00:12:52,665 --> 00:13:01,232 ♪ Shall show forth Thy praise 144 00:13:02,375 --> 00:13:05,071 ♪ And my mouth 145 00:13:05,244 --> 00:13:13,379 ♪ Shall show forth Thy praise 146 00:13:14,487 --> 00:13:16,978 ♪ And my mouth 147 00:13:17,123 --> 00:13:25,394 ♪ Shall show forth Thy praise 148 00:13:26,098 --> 00:13:28,692 ♪ And my mouth 149 00:13:28,834 --> 00:13:36,900 ♪ Shall show forth Thy praise ♪ 150 00:14:06,072 --> 00:14:09,132 No, you don't eat it like that! Let me show you. 151 00:14:09,241 --> 00:14:13,473 Oh. Imagine you are sucking the little fingers of a lady or... 152 00:14:13,579 --> 00:14:19,142 No, you'd never get that close to a lady. Who'd wanna get that close to you? 153 00:14:19,285 --> 00:14:23,585 - I wouldn't be interested in her fingers. - I'd expect you to say that. 154 00:14:23,723 --> 00:14:27,921 You'd just whip it in, whip it out and wipe it on your jacket. 155 00:14:28,027 --> 00:14:30,894 Look at your jacket, it's like a pig field. 156 00:14:31,097 --> 00:14:34,225 And your nails could do with a clean. Show me. 157 00:14:35,067 --> 00:14:39,800 Gawd. Why can't I have some bloody quality in my associates? 158 00:14:40,139 --> 00:14:44,508 From now on, anyone not properly dressed for dinner will pay for it. 159 00:14:44,643 --> 00:14:48,409 I'll write lessons down for you. Georgina can type them out. 160 00:14:49,248 --> 00:14:54,413 "Notes For Gourmets". That's French for a good eater, isn't it, Boarst? 161 00:14:54,520 --> 00:14:59,685 - Gourmets don't belch. - On the contrary, on the contrary. They do. 162 00:14:59,792 --> 00:15:01,851 It shows that you are enjoying a meal. 163 00:15:01,961 --> 00:15:06,057 Not with your fingers, Spangler! That's all you understand - 164 00:15:06,165 --> 00:15:09,657 things you eat with your hands whilst walking down the street. 165 00:15:09,802 --> 00:15:12,896 You told Mews to eat the celery with his fingers. 166 00:15:13,039 --> 00:15:17,305 That's different, you dope. And it's asparagus, not celery. 167 00:15:17,410 --> 00:15:23,406 What's the point of sinking thousands into a restaurant if you refuse to eat properly? 168 00:15:23,516 --> 00:15:27,247 - Tell him, Georgina. - Tell him what? 169 00:15:27,420 --> 00:15:32,084 Just copy Georgina. She knows how to do it. Cory, get Richard in here. 170 00:15:32,258 --> 00:15:36,854 I want my sign fixed up and put on that wall over the kitchen door. 171 00:15:36,996 --> 00:15:41,490 If Richard was more interested in slogans, he'd make more money, eh? 172 00:15:42,501 --> 00:15:44,731 This place is too dark. 173 00:15:44,837 --> 00:15:48,603 Could do with a respray. Gold, it needs more gold. 174 00:15:48,774 --> 00:15:51,242 How about gold and blue? 175 00:15:52,211 --> 00:15:56,477 What do you think, Henry? 10,000 should do it - two months' takings. 176 00:15:56,582 --> 00:16:00,348 You should get in there. Boarst's prices are all over the place. 177 00:16:01,287 --> 00:16:05,690 His head's in the clouds. Good cook. Brilliant cook! 178 00:16:05,724 --> 00:16:10,457 Except he puts mushrooms on everything. Henry, put that cigarette out. 179 00:16:10,729 --> 00:16:13,892 Do you mind if I eat whilst you smoke? 180 00:16:13,999 --> 00:16:18,368 Gordon choked on a cigarette whilst eating - burnt his epiglottis. 181 00:16:18,504 --> 00:16:22,406 Mitchel, you've got one. And you don't keep it in your trousers. 182 00:16:24,110 --> 00:16:29,480 You don't put orange rind on the edge of your plate, it goes there, you dolt! 183 00:16:29,615 --> 00:16:35,144 What you've got to realize is that a clever cook puts unlikely things together 184 00:16:35,287 --> 00:16:38,848 like duck and orange, like pineapple and ham. 185 00:16:38,991 --> 00:16:40,982 It's called artistry. 186 00:16:41,127 --> 00:16:45,359 I'm an artist, the way I combine my business and my pleasure. 187 00:16:45,464 --> 00:16:47,830 Money's my business, eating's my pleasure. 188 00:16:47,967 --> 00:16:52,267 And Georgie's my pleasure too, though in a more private kind of way 189 00:16:52,371 --> 00:16:56,137 than stuffing the mouth and feeding the sewers. 190 00:16:56,308 --> 00:16:58,401 Though the pleasures are related, 191 00:16:58,511 --> 00:17:04,108 because the naughty bits and the dirty bits are so close together 192 00:17:05,050 --> 00:17:09,646 that it just goes to show how eating and sex are related. 193 00:17:09,788 --> 00:17:13,781 Georgie's naughty bits are nicely related, aren't they? 194 00:17:13,893 --> 00:17:17,021 Especially when she's paying me attention. Georgie. 195 00:17:18,831 --> 00:17:24,235 Get Phillipe! In future, I want my napkins folded at home, Georgina. Get Adele to teach you. 196 00:17:25,871 --> 00:17:28,237 Spangler, get up and get Phillipe. 197 00:17:28,374 --> 00:17:32,276 Bring Richard here, I've got to make him a proposition. 198 00:17:32,311 --> 00:17:36,042 Get Adele to get that water with the angostura bitters in it 199 00:17:36,348 --> 00:17:40,717 and some lemon in the water and a bowl of ice water for me fingers... 200 00:17:40,853 --> 00:17:45,449 Henry! Give me those glasses off that table. And the flowers. 201 00:17:46,592 --> 00:17:49,593 This should look the most important table here. 202 00:17:49,628 --> 00:17:53,029 I like a load of glasses around, it highers the tone. 203 00:18:08,047 --> 00:18:12,507 - What's that? - For Madame Spica, compliments of the house. 204 00:18:12,651 --> 00:18:15,677 She's no Madame. Why haven't I got one? 205 00:18:15,788 --> 00:18:19,849 - I doubt, Mr. Spica, if you'll like it. - Try me. 206 00:18:21,093 --> 00:18:25,257 We have grown accustomed to you being a conservative eater. 207 00:18:25,364 --> 00:18:28,765 That's not true. I'm as adventurous as the next. 208 00:18:28,901 --> 00:18:31,961 Your wife has an excellent palate, Mr. Spica. 209 00:18:32,071 --> 00:18:35,131 It is always a pleasure for us to serve her. 210 00:20:20,346 --> 00:20:25,374 I want one of those hot, damp towels, Richard, served to me with tongs. 211 00:20:26,485 --> 00:20:31,582 Adele is no good with cash and figures. She's just decorative, all lips and tits. 212 00:20:31,690 --> 00:20:34,591 - We'll replace her. - Can I do the replacing? 213 00:20:34,760 --> 00:20:40,665 Stuff your mouth, Mitchel. Every time you open it, you just show how vulgar you can be. 214 00:21:15,401 --> 00:21:17,869 Georgina! Welcome back. 215 00:21:18,003 --> 00:21:21,666 Did you wipe the seat before you parked your bum? 216 00:21:21,840 --> 00:21:26,810 You never know what you can catch these days. Every toilet seat is a minefield. 217 00:21:26,845 --> 00:21:33,148 That's for you. Richard thought I might like to taste it, personal compliments of the chef. 218 00:21:33,419 --> 00:21:36,855 Eat it. I didn't fancy it, it smelt off. 219 00:21:37,689 --> 00:21:40,783 Iris got a canker on her bum from sitting on a loo seat. 220 00:21:40,893 --> 00:21:46,490 The mechanic across the road poured battery acid down the WC to clear it. 221 00:21:48,233 --> 00:21:52,101 Some of it splashed on the seat. Iris ran screaming into the street, 222 00:21:52,271 --> 00:21:54,296 her backside hissing. 223 00:21:54,440 --> 00:21:56,431 She hasn't been the same since. 224 00:21:56,542 --> 00:22:01,605 She strips the same but never with her back to the audience. 225 00:22:01,680 --> 00:22:05,946 She had to change her act. Now it's more full-frontal. 226 00:22:06,051 --> 00:22:09,214 - Where are you going? - I left my lighter in the toilet. 227 00:22:09,321 --> 00:22:12,051 - Gawd's sake. You don't need it. - I need it. 228 00:22:12,124 --> 00:22:17,255 Richard, I'm going to ban smoking in here. Tomorrow, the signs are going up. 229 00:22:17,496 --> 00:22:20,829 You want to thicken your French accent up a bit, mate, 230 00:22:20,966 --> 00:22:23,457 like you've just come over from Paris. 231 00:22:23,602 --> 00:22:28,130 Give them a bit of that ooh-la-la stuff. Bit more of that "parlez-vous francais?" 232 00:22:28,273 --> 00:22:31,299 Then you would not understand me, Mr. Spica. 233 00:22:31,410 --> 00:22:35,642 I don't know. I've always been able to understand French letters. 234 00:25:13,038 --> 00:25:14,903 Georgina! 235 00:25:15,073 --> 00:25:17,564 What the hell are you doing in here? 236 00:25:18,844 --> 00:25:21,438 Georgina? 237 00:25:21,647 --> 00:25:25,811 You've been in here for ages. What are you doing, having a baby? 238 00:25:25,917 --> 00:25:28,215 I'm, er, I'm just... 239 00:25:28,920 --> 00:25:32,981 - I'm just having a quiet smoke. - Smoke? 240 00:25:34,993 --> 00:25:38,485 You know how you hate me smoking at the table. 241 00:25:38,664 --> 00:25:41,132 Gawd's sake, Georgina. 242 00:25:41,266 --> 00:25:44,099 Why tell me lies about a lost lighter? 243 00:25:44,269 --> 00:25:49,036 I didn't, I left it here on the ledge in front of the mirror. 244 00:25:51,209 --> 00:25:53,507 I'll be out in a few moments. 245 00:25:53,612 --> 00:25:58,276 Don't hang around the ladies, you'll embarrass the customers. 246 00:25:58,450 --> 00:26:00,441 Show me the lighter. 247 00:26:00,552 --> 00:26:03,020 There. 248 00:26:05,357 --> 00:26:07,552 Do you want a cigarette as well? 249 00:26:07,693 --> 00:26:10,059 Don't be so bloody stupid. 250 00:26:10,195 --> 00:26:14,393 What are you doing in there, Georgina, eh? 251 00:26:14,499 --> 00:26:16,592 You playing with yourself? 252 00:26:16,702 --> 00:26:21,298 That's not allowed, that's my property. You're not allowed to fiddle with it. 253 00:26:21,339 --> 00:26:26,675 - Shut up, Albert. - Let me in, I'll show you how to wipe yourself. 254 00:26:27,879 --> 00:26:30,347 Go away. I'll be out in a minute. 255 00:26:30,482 --> 00:26:33,315 Well, don't be long. 256 00:26:33,485 --> 00:26:37,615 I'll order you some gateau aux poivres. 257 00:26:38,457 --> 00:26:40,823 Some profiteroles. 258 00:26:44,963 --> 00:26:46,988 And wash your hands. 259 00:26:48,100 --> 00:26:51,092 You don't know the women who use this place. 260 00:28:00,338 --> 00:28:02,431 You took your time. 261 00:28:03,408 --> 00:28:06,002 I thought you'd like me to wait for you. 262 00:28:07,813 --> 00:28:10,008 You smell nice and sweaty. 263 00:28:10,115 --> 00:28:12,640 Wash your hands, I'll give you a kiss. 264 00:28:27,766 --> 00:28:32,066 You know what they say about men who hang around ladies' lavatories? 265 00:28:35,340 --> 00:28:39,524 What do they say about men who hang around ladies' lavatories? 266 00:28:39,559 --> 00:28:43,708 - They're asking to have their illusions shattered. - Yeah. 267 00:28:43,915 --> 00:28:47,214 You hold no illusions for me, Georgie, eh? 268 00:28:47,319 --> 00:28:49,617 No stone's been left unturned. 269 00:28:49,754 --> 00:28:53,212 Look, just go order my profiteroles, will you? 270 00:28:53,358 --> 00:28:55,588 Come on. 271 00:28:57,896 --> 00:28:59,887 Come on. 272 00:29:43,608 --> 00:29:46,941 I think these Ethiopians like starving. 273 00:29:47,112 --> 00:29:53,540 It keeps them slim and graceful, with those big heads and dreamy eyes. You know those kids. 274 00:29:53,685 --> 00:29:58,179 You're sick. I might well be if you're being so priggish. 275 00:29:58,323 --> 00:30:04,159 What do you know, Georgina, about the starving? You can have anything you want. 276 00:30:04,329 --> 00:30:09,528 - Where you been? You're late. - It's Friday night. There's a lot of money about. 277 00:30:11,002 --> 00:30:15,598 A decent man needs gloves to touch this stuff. Let's have a look. 278 00:30:15,774 --> 00:30:18,675 That's just what this restaurant needs. 279 00:30:18,843 --> 00:30:21,437 Start laying them out. 280 00:30:21,613 --> 00:30:25,049 What's the matter, Mitchel? Don't you like mussels? 281 00:30:25,183 --> 00:30:28,448 You got to learn to like them if you're going to eat with me. 282 00:30:28,553 --> 00:30:31,078 Don't you dare throw up in here! 283 00:30:31,222 --> 00:30:34,680 Or I'll get Spangler to stuff 'em back down your throat. 284 00:30:34,826 --> 00:30:40,822 From the Malay restaurant. The food poisoning scared them, they're paying up. 285 00:30:40,966 --> 00:30:43,958 I'm sure they don't need our assistance with that. 286 00:30:44,069 --> 00:30:47,402 That stuff they eat, they'd poison themselves with it. 287 00:30:47,539 --> 00:30:51,873 Some of them Indians are well known for drinking their own pee. 288 00:30:52,010 --> 00:30:55,673 The same water would go round and round. 289 00:30:55,847 --> 00:31:00,648 Of course, you're bound to lose some through evaporation. 290 00:31:00,819 --> 00:31:05,119 Then you'd have to top it up. Whose pee would you drink first? 291 00:31:05,223 --> 00:31:08,420 - Erm... - Me, I'd have a ready supply, wouldn't I? 292 00:31:08,526 --> 00:31:12,121 Georgie and I have our little sessions when we... 293 00:31:12,263 --> 00:31:14,527 Good God, what have you got there? 294 00:31:14,632 --> 00:31:19,126 Even you are getting compliments from the chef, are you? 295 00:31:19,270 --> 00:31:22,831 Being a guinea pig for a Boarst experiment, are we? 296 00:31:23,008 --> 00:31:29,470 Good God, looks like, er, food for constipated French rabbits. 297 00:31:29,614 --> 00:31:34,313 Albert, why don't you order me some Chianti? You know I like Chianti. 298 00:31:34,486 --> 00:31:37,046 In the bottle with the wrapping around it. 299 00:31:37,188 --> 00:31:40,385 Then I can take it home and hang it on the wall. 300 00:31:40,492 --> 00:31:44,553 - Grace, haven't you got enough of them already? - No. 301 00:31:44,662 --> 00:31:46,687 Where the hell are you going? 302 00:31:46,798 --> 00:31:50,359 - To the toilet. - You haven't had anything to drink yet. 303 00:31:54,806 --> 00:31:57,866 - You've upset her. - Rubbish. 304 00:31:57,976 --> 00:32:04,176 Don't be long! You're so talkative tonight, we couldn't stand the silence without you. 305 00:32:05,683 --> 00:32:07,548 Wash your hands! 306 00:32:26,871 --> 00:32:29,362 - Questo, questo. - Cazzo. 307 00:32:29,507 --> 00:32:32,271 Dove hai imparato a cucinare? 308 00:32:32,444 --> 00:32:34,674 Vieni qua. 309 00:34:50,715 --> 00:34:52,706 That's off! 310 00:35:16,841 --> 00:35:18,841 Uh. 311 00:35:18,876 --> 00:35:22,710 - This custard's salty. - It is sauce Hollandaise. 312 00:35:23,014 --> 00:35:25,005 Can I help you, Mr. Spica? 313 00:35:25,116 --> 00:35:28,711 I've come about those special complimentary dishes. 314 00:35:28,853 --> 00:35:32,448 In future, all the guests at my table shall receive them. 315 00:35:32,590 --> 00:35:35,081 Why is my fish taking so long? 316 00:35:35,260 --> 00:35:38,525 You can carry it in yourself, if you like, Mr. Spica. 317 00:35:40,098 --> 00:35:43,693 - What are you looking for? - Nothing. You bring it. 318 00:35:43,835 --> 00:35:48,499 - You would not be looking for your wife? - No, of course not. 319 00:35:48,673 --> 00:35:51,733 Mr. Spica, I have something to show you. 320 00:36:04,956 --> 00:36:09,984 - What is this? - New cutlery. Give your restaurant some style. 321 00:36:10,094 --> 00:36:14,622 I brought in 300 sets. My men are just re-laying the tables. 322 00:36:17,468 --> 00:36:19,800 Not very good quality, Mr. Spica. 323 00:36:20,938 --> 00:36:25,341 You could use them at home, Mr. Spica. 324 00:36:25,476 --> 00:36:28,138 All 300 of them. 325 00:37:04,982 --> 00:37:07,542 Where have you been? Wiping your bum? 326 00:37:07,685 --> 00:37:11,086 Did you use your left hand like I showed you? 327 00:37:11,222 --> 00:37:14,988 Where'd you get this stuff, Mews? It's rubbish, falling apart. 328 00:37:15,159 --> 00:37:19,892 Take 'em back. Get a 150% refund. God. 329 00:37:21,466 --> 00:37:26,130 What are you eating, Georgie? Not much. 330 00:37:26,304 --> 00:37:30,968 Ha! I see others here get the same special attentions. 331 00:37:31,142 --> 00:37:36,273 What is it? Looks like some sort of... watery salade. 332 00:37:36,381 --> 00:37:38,679 That's not up to much. 333 00:37:38,783 --> 00:37:41,877 Expensive, no doubt, but not fattening. 334 00:37:41,986 --> 00:37:45,353 You've got to keep your strength up, you're looking peaky. 335 00:37:45,490 --> 00:37:48,584 Kidneys, liver, iron, that's what you need. 336 00:37:48,693 --> 00:37:54,825 Do you know a cow drinks its own weight in water twice a week? 337 00:37:54,932 --> 00:37:59,562 For milk, you see, because a cow's got great big tits. 338 00:37:59,737 --> 00:38:02,069 Just like you, eh, Georgie? 339 00:38:05,643 --> 00:38:09,636 You gentlemen will have to take it for granted because 340 00:38:09,747 --> 00:38:13,239 for some reason best known to herself, 341 00:38:13,418 --> 00:38:15,511 she's left her bra off. 342 00:38:18,089 --> 00:38:20,557 Have you, Cory, ever tasted human milk? 343 00:38:21,559 --> 00:38:25,222 I mean recently. All them years ago don't count. 344 00:38:25,530 --> 00:38:30,194 You couldn't really appreciate what you were enjoying then, could you? 345 00:38:30,368 --> 00:38:36,238 I bet human milk's a great delicacy in some countries. It ought to be here. 346 00:38:37,241 --> 00:38:40,870 Do you know, Cory, who could supply us with some human milk? 347 00:38:41,045 --> 00:38:45,311 Warm, straight from the receptacle, so to speak? 348 00:38:45,450 --> 00:38:49,477 Don't joke! It's a precious commodity, not a joking matter! 349 00:38:49,587 --> 00:38:52,249 Georgie wouldn't joke about it, would you? 350 00:38:52,457 --> 00:38:54,482 Would you, Georgie? 351 00:38:54,592 --> 00:39:00,053 Ah. You're a credit to women. You could show these young women a thing or two. 352 00:39:00,198 --> 00:39:03,998 You could teach these young men a thing or two. Take Mitchel. 353 00:39:04,168 --> 00:39:07,831 On second thoughts, don't, cos he's a crude little bugger. 354 00:39:08,005 --> 00:39:11,668 - Then how come you haven't got any kids? - Kids? 355 00:39:13,678 --> 00:39:17,205 Who needs kids? Who wants kids? 356 00:39:18,883 --> 00:39:21,147 I want kids. 357 00:39:22,386 --> 00:39:26,413 We'll have kids one day, won't we, eh? 358 00:39:29,260 --> 00:39:32,559 When you're bloody old and gray, most like! 359 00:39:32,697 --> 00:39:36,292 Yeah. Your trouble is you don't eat properly. 360 00:39:37,301 --> 00:39:41,465 You should drink more water and eat more kidneys 361 00:39:41,572 --> 00:39:45,565 and then you might bloody well have a bloody baby someday. 362 00:39:47,144 --> 00:39:49,806 Georgie doesn't like babies, do you? 363 00:39:49,981 --> 00:39:55,180 You know, sometimes, Georgie, I think you behave like a bloke. 364 00:39:55,286 --> 00:39:57,311 What days are those, then, Albert? 365 00:39:57,421 --> 00:39:59,412 - What's it like? - You what? 366 00:39:59,524 --> 00:40:04,188 Get away from this table, you mucky little wimp! 367 00:40:04,362 --> 00:40:09,433 Go and eat your vegetable soup in the kitchen, you dirty little pervert! 368 00:40:09,468 --> 00:40:12,493 Go on, get on with your eating, eh? 369 00:40:12,703 --> 00:40:15,900 It's only Mitchel making a fool of himself. 370 00:40:16,007 --> 00:40:18,999 Now, stand in the corner. Cory, make him a paper hat. 371 00:40:19,110 --> 00:40:22,238 Stand in the corner like a naughty little boy. 372 00:40:22,346 --> 00:40:25,645 Stand there. Take your knife and fork with you. 373 00:40:25,783 --> 00:40:28,479 - Don't be stupid. - Do you want to join him? 374 00:40:28,653 --> 00:40:35,525 Leave him alone. He's only copying you like he always does. You behave, he'll behave. 375 00:40:35,693 --> 00:40:38,457 - I'm leaving. - Yes, we are leaving. 376 00:40:38,629 --> 00:40:43,464 Gracie, here. Pay the bill and take a taxi. 377 00:40:44,635 --> 00:40:48,799 Yeah. Georgie and I might go for a little drive. 378 00:40:50,675 --> 00:40:53,769 It's our wedding anniversary tomorrow. 379 00:40:53,878 --> 00:40:56,472 Might drive down to the sea, 380 00:40:56,647 --> 00:40:59,480 have some fun under the pier like we used to. 381 00:41:10,027 --> 00:41:12,825 Oops. I am sorry. 382 00:41:12,997 --> 00:41:16,763 Still, this isn't a library, it's a restaurant. 383 00:41:16,934 --> 00:41:18,959 They got people for that. 384 00:41:22,440 --> 00:41:24,465 Richard. 385 00:41:24,609 --> 00:41:28,875 This needs cooking. Grill it with some mashed peas. 386 00:41:39,523 --> 00:41:43,892 ♪ Wash me thoroughly 387 00:41:44,028 --> 00:41:47,828 ♪ From my iniquity 388 00:41:47,865 --> 00:41:53,235 ♪ And cleanse me... ♪ 389 00:41:53,504 --> 00:41:56,505 What's a young lad like you doing washing dishes? 390 00:41:56,540 --> 00:41:59,668 That's woman's work, ain't you got what it takes? Hey! 391 00:41:59,910 --> 00:42:04,370 My God, armor plating. You protect yourself, son, you need it. 392 00:42:04,515 --> 00:42:07,678 Innocence. That's what I had before I met Georgie. 393 00:42:07,785 --> 00:42:11,118 - That's just what they want. - Albert. Come on, you're drunk. 394 00:42:11,255 --> 00:42:13,416 - Come on! - Shall I sing for you? 395 00:42:13,524 --> 00:42:16,550 - What? - Albert, come on, he's only a child. 396 00:42:16,661 --> 00:42:20,256 Sing for me, yes. Yes, you can sing for me. 397 00:42:20,431 --> 00:42:22,797 Get up there. You sing, yeah. 398 00:42:22,967 --> 00:42:27,631 I was a good singer when I was a little boy, wasn't I, Georgie? 399 00:42:27,672 --> 00:42:30,539 Come on, now. You sing to me. Eh? 400 00:42:31,876 --> 00:42:33,969 Come on. Sing, damn you! 401 00:42:35,579 --> 00:42:39,709 ♪ Wash me thoroughly 402 00:42:39,984 --> 00:42:43,579 ♪ From my iniquity 403 00:42:43,754 --> 00:42:47,952 - ♪ And cleanse... ♪ - You can't keep it up, can you? No. 404 00:42:48,059 --> 00:42:50,740 I was a choirboy once. 405 00:42:50,775 --> 00:42:53,421 Yes. Women like choirboys. 406 00:42:53,564 --> 00:42:57,159 I was almost a choirboy when I met Georgie. 407 00:42:57,435 --> 00:43:00,097 But you spoilt all that, didn't you? 408 00:43:00,304 --> 00:43:04,673 Georgie was a very good education, she could teach a young man anything. 409 00:43:04,809 --> 00:43:09,212 Come on, Georgie, show the young boy what you showed me. 410 00:43:09,346 --> 00:43:12,042 - Albert. - Go on, show the little boy... 411 00:43:12,216 --> 00:43:15,447 - Albert! - You do what I tell you, will you? 412 00:43:16,554 --> 00:43:20,012 You come out in that car park with me, both of you. Come on. 413 00:43:20,157 --> 00:43:23,217 Out in the car park. Come on. 414 00:43:27,631 --> 00:43:32,261 I'll give you the best education, show you what a great teacher Georgie can be. 415 00:43:32,470 --> 00:43:34,597 Don't touch him! 416 00:43:34,739 --> 00:43:38,903 Leave him alone. I'll show you what a great teacher... 417 00:43:39,009 --> 00:43:44,106 Oh, I see. So I'm not supposed to do that? I'll give you an education. 418 00:43:44,215 --> 00:43:46,706 - Albert, please leave him alone. - Oh, no. 419 00:43:46,851 --> 00:43:49,547 Stand there and don't you move. 420 00:43:49,754 --> 00:43:51,745 - Just leave him be. - Watch this. 421 00:43:51,856 --> 00:43:56,225 - No. Wait till we get home, Albert. - Georgie. Georgie, come here. 422 00:43:56,360 --> 00:44:00,854 Right. What's all this? You're not wearing any bloody knickers. 423 00:44:00,998 --> 00:44:04,456 You've been sitting in that restaurant with no knickers on? 424 00:44:04,602 --> 00:44:08,732 With Cory and Mitchel and all those people? What's this mean? 425 00:44:08,839 --> 00:44:11,171 Where are they? Give them to me at once. 426 00:44:11,308 --> 00:44:15,608 Go on. Look at this. Get in that car, you dirty whore. 427 00:44:15,713 --> 00:44:18,409 Why don't you take everything off? 428 00:44:19,583 --> 00:44:24,020 Get in there. Go on! Get in that car! 429 00:44:24,155 --> 00:44:27,818 - Now you! You get in there as well. - No! 430 00:44:27,992 --> 00:44:32,395 - Go on. Get in there. Get in. - No! Please! 431 00:44:32,530 --> 00:44:36,125 - No! No! No! - Get in there! Get in. 432 00:44:36,300 --> 00:44:38,564 Aah! Ah! 433 00:44:42,940 --> 00:44:45,534 Right... 434 00:44:45,709 --> 00:44:47,904 No! 435 00:44:54,151 --> 00:44:58,281 ♪ Wash me thoroughly 436 00:44:58,389 --> 00:45:02,189 ♪ From my iniquity 437 00:45:03,360 --> 00:45:11,665 ♪ And cleanse me from my sins 438 00:45:13,604 --> 00:45:20,203 ♪ Have mercy upon me... ♪ 439 00:45:22,646 --> 00:45:24,807 I have two minutes. 440 00:45:49,740 --> 00:45:57,545 ♪ Purge me with hyssop 441 00:46:00,251 --> 00:46:02,344 ♪ And I shall be 442 00:46:03,654 --> 00:46:05,713 ♪ Clean 443 00:46:07,291 --> 00:46:10,351 ♪ Wash me 444 00:46:10,794 --> 00:46:14,389 ♪ Wash me 445 00:46:14,565 --> 00:46:22,165 ♪ And I shall be whiter than snow 446 00:46:24,141 --> 00:46:27,872 ♪ Make me to hear 447 00:46:28,045 --> 00:46:36,885 ♪ Thy joy and gladness ♪ 448 00:46:37,087 --> 00:46:39,578 ♪ That the bones 449 00:46:39,723 --> 00:46:48,631 ♪ That Thou hast broken may rejoice ♪ 450 00:47:49,326 --> 00:47:52,591 Do you know, Mitchel, what prairie oysters are? 451 00:47:53,998 --> 00:47:55,625 Fish. 452 00:47:55,799 --> 00:48:00,236 So if someone feeds you a prairie oyster, what would you be eating? 453 00:48:00,371 --> 00:48:04,398 Fish. Like from the lakes and that. They're the... 454 00:48:04,441 --> 00:48:06,739 The clams with the little pearls in. 455 00:48:08,012 --> 00:48:11,607 Prairie oysters would be very precious to their owners. No. 456 00:48:11,782 --> 00:48:13,773 No, look. Imagine... 457 00:48:13,851 --> 00:48:17,150 Just imagine that this is a prairie oyster. 458 00:48:18,389 --> 00:48:22,257 Now, go on. Eat that. Go on. Put it in your mouth. Go on. Go on. 459 00:48:22,426 --> 00:48:25,020 Now, what's it taste like? 460 00:48:27,364 --> 00:48:29,525 - Wet bread. - No. 461 00:48:29,633 --> 00:48:32,466 It's all squishy with gritty bits in it. 462 00:48:34,304 --> 00:48:36,602 That's the sand. 463 00:48:38,609 --> 00:48:41,442 That's the sand. You're a comic. 464 00:48:41,612 --> 00:48:45,207 No, you mule. It's got a skin round it. 465 00:48:48,485 --> 00:48:50,646 - Do you spit the skin out? - No. 466 00:48:50,754 --> 00:48:53,917 Pick it out of your teeth afterwards, chump it up. 467 00:48:54,058 --> 00:48:57,186 Now, swallow that, go on, swallow it. Swallow it. 468 00:48:57,294 --> 00:48:59,261 Go on, that's right. 469 00:48:59,296 --> 00:49:03,460 Now, Mitchel, you have just eaten a sheep's bollock. 470 00:49:09,273 --> 00:49:12,606 The next time I ask you to work for me, Mitchel, 471 00:49:12,743 --> 00:49:16,645 I'll be expecting you to chew someone's bollocks off on demand. 472 00:49:18,482 --> 00:49:20,473 Oh, you're back. 473 00:49:20,584 --> 00:49:26,022 What do you find in that toilet that's so fascinating? I'll go and have a pee and a look. 474 00:49:26,156 --> 00:49:31,184 What have they got since I was last in there? Velvet seats, dirty pictures? Hah. 475 00:49:31,295 --> 00:49:34,822 Free perfume? A private drinks bar? 476 00:50:05,729 --> 00:50:08,459 Cor, what a disgusting smell in here! 477 00:50:08,632 --> 00:50:12,295 Must be the pigs using it, eh? How disgusting it is. 478 00:50:12,469 --> 00:50:16,667 Ha! Urgh, how horrible. Disgusting. 479 00:50:16,773 --> 00:50:20,038 Revolting place, needs airing out. What's this? 480 00:50:20,144 --> 00:50:22,544 Gaw, phwoar, phwoar... 481 00:50:23,714 --> 00:50:28,583 Look. "There was a young man from Uckinham who got caught while he was..." 482 00:50:28,752 --> 00:50:33,086 That is disgusting! People ought to be locked up for that. 483 00:50:33,223 --> 00:50:36,351 Absolutely appalling. Not what I'm used to at all. 484 00:50:36,460 --> 00:50:40,021 It's disgraceful. Don't you reckon, don't you think? 485 00:50:40,164 --> 00:50:42,325 Yes. God. 486 00:50:42,432 --> 00:50:45,629 - 'Ere, what are you looking at? - What are you talking about? 487 00:50:45,736 --> 00:50:50,070 Don't pretend. You're waiting for my young associates, aren't you? 488 00:50:50,107 --> 00:50:53,304 A man ought to be able to piss without harassment. 489 00:50:53,544 --> 00:50:56,536 - How dare you? I'm getting the manager. - I am the manager. 490 00:51:00,884 --> 00:51:03,375 - Ow! - Yeah. 491 00:51:03,520 --> 00:51:07,786 That's what these people need. Short, sharp, shock treatment. 492 00:51:16,233 --> 00:51:18,497 Hello. What are you doing? Reading again? 493 00:51:18,602 --> 00:51:23,733 This is not a library. The only thing you're allowed to read in here is the menu. 494 00:51:23,840 --> 00:51:26,331 You are insulting the chef. 495 00:51:26,476 --> 00:51:29,707 Reading gives you indigestion, didn't you know that? 496 00:51:29,813 --> 00:51:32,111 Don't read at the table. 497 00:51:34,484 --> 00:51:38,250 I've just been reading stuff to make your hair curl. 498 00:51:38,422 --> 00:51:40,686 Out there, in the toilet. 499 00:51:40,791 --> 00:51:43,954 That's the sort of stuff people read, not this. 500 00:51:44,061 --> 00:51:46,495 Don't you feel out of touch? 501 00:51:46,630 --> 00:51:49,030 Does this stuff make money? 502 00:51:49,166 --> 00:51:53,660 You know, I bet you're the only man who's read this book. 503 00:51:53,804 --> 00:51:57,638 But I bet you every man here has read that stuff out there. 504 00:51:57,808 --> 00:52:00,106 It makes you think, doesn't it? 505 00:52:00,244 --> 00:52:04,544 You know, I reckon you read because you got nobody to talk to. 506 00:52:04,681 --> 00:52:09,311 I tell you what. So you shouldn't eat alone, why don't you come and join us? 507 00:52:09,486 --> 00:52:11,613 Come and meet my wife. 508 00:52:11,722 --> 00:52:17,319 She's seen you. I know she's sorry for you sitting here all alone. 509 00:52:17,461 --> 00:52:22,489 She likes to read too. She spends hours sitting on the bed reading. 510 00:52:22,599 --> 00:52:24,999 She even reads on the john. 511 00:52:32,442 --> 00:52:34,535 This is Cory. 512 00:52:36,713 --> 00:52:41,241 This is Mitchel. He can't read, can you, Mitchel? 513 00:52:41,385 --> 00:52:44,218 - Yes, I can. - Yeah. Comics and dirty magazines. 514 00:52:45,389 --> 00:52:49,189 And this is Georgina. She is my wife. 515 00:52:50,861 --> 00:52:53,022 What's your name? 516 00:52:54,131 --> 00:52:58,761 - Michael. - Well, Michael. Is that a Jewish name, Michael? 517 00:52:58,935 --> 00:53:04,305 Do you eat kosher food, Michael? Sit down, Michael, and tell us all about kosher food, Michael. 518 00:53:04,441 --> 00:53:07,467 - I'm sorry but I'm not Jewish. - Why hide it? 519 00:53:07,577 --> 00:53:12,139 60% of the people in this restaurant are a touch Jewish, Michael. 520 00:53:12,316 --> 00:53:14,477 Richard, set another place for Michael. 521 00:53:14,584 --> 00:53:19,783 He is Jewish, so maybe you could find him some spare ribs. No pork. 522 00:53:21,024 --> 00:53:26,428 He won't need those. We're going to hold a conversation, aren't we? 523 00:53:26,563 --> 00:53:30,363 You can start, Georgie. Tell Michael all about yourself. 524 00:53:31,468 --> 00:53:35,768 - I'm sure your wife would rather eat in peace. - No. Talk, Georgina. 525 00:53:35,872 --> 00:53:39,501 Here's your chance to improve your table conversation. 526 00:53:39,676 --> 00:53:41,803 Tell Michael you live in a big house 527 00:53:41,912 --> 00:53:44,574 and you spend £400 a week on clothes. 528 00:53:44,748 --> 00:53:46,807 I spend £400 a week on clothes. 529 00:53:46,917 --> 00:53:50,216 You have a petrol allowance of £40 a week. 530 00:53:50,354 --> 00:53:54,120 I have a petrol allowance of £40 a week, which I never use. 531 00:53:54,257 --> 00:53:56,987 - You wear beautiful things. - I wear beautiful things. 532 00:53:57,160 --> 00:54:00,459 - You eat in the best restaurants. - I eat in the best restaurants. 533 00:54:00,597 --> 00:54:03,293 Georgina, try a little harder, please. 534 00:54:05,469 --> 00:54:09,064 - I go to a good hairdresser. - Yes, the best there is. 535 00:54:09,373 --> 00:54:13,434 - I go to a good dentist. - Yes, yeah, oh, yeah. He's Jewish. 536 00:54:13,543 --> 00:54:16,808 - I go to a good gynecologist. - You what? 537 00:54:16,913 --> 00:54:21,782 - Who says it's unlikely I'll ever have a baby. - Michael doesn't want to know that. 538 00:54:21,952 --> 00:54:25,353 That the three miscarriages have ruined my insides. 539 00:54:25,489 --> 00:54:29,050 That isn't true, Michael doesn't need to know that. 540 00:54:29,192 --> 00:54:33,219 Now, drink up, Michael, let's talk about you. What do you do? 541 00:54:35,632 --> 00:54:37,964 I'm a gynecologist. 542 00:54:39,436 --> 00:54:42,633 - You're a what? - You could always come and see me. 543 00:54:42,739 --> 00:54:45,230 We don't need to discuss that subject. 544 00:54:45,409 --> 00:54:49,140 Being infertile makes me a safe bet for a good screw. 545 00:54:49,312 --> 00:54:51,405 Shut up, Georgie! 546 00:54:55,018 --> 00:54:57,509 I must apologize for my wife, Michael. 547 00:54:58,922 --> 00:55:03,154 If you don't get back to your table, you're in danger of losing it. 548 00:55:03,260 --> 00:55:05,353 The place gets very full about now. 549 00:55:05,462 --> 00:55:09,956 Mitchel, take Michael back to his table. Tell him about horses. 550 00:55:10,100 --> 00:55:12,694 Oh, it's all right, Mr. Spica, thank you. 551 00:55:13,837 --> 00:55:15,930 I prefer to read my book. 552 00:55:17,040 --> 00:55:19,531 Besides, I've finished. Thank you. 553 00:55:21,011 --> 00:55:24,378 Thank you for introducing me to your wife. 554 00:55:24,514 --> 00:55:27,381 I like your name. 555 00:56:15,599 --> 00:56:17,624 Ah. 556 00:56:21,204 --> 00:56:25,038 What the hell do you think you're doing? Eh? 557 00:56:25,208 --> 00:56:31,340 Telling a complete stranger intimate details about us? 558 00:56:31,448 --> 00:56:34,008 It's not about us. It's about me. 559 00:56:34,150 --> 00:56:36,641 It's about us! 560 00:56:36,786 --> 00:56:40,244 And what's all this, how much time you spend in that loo? 561 00:56:40,390 --> 00:56:43,484 What's all this about a gynecologist? Who is he? 562 00:56:43,593 --> 00:56:48,895 It'd better be a she. I don't want some bloke fingering my wife about. 563 00:56:48,999 --> 00:56:52,230 It's a man. He's Jewish. 564 00:56:52,335 --> 00:56:55,702 - And he's from Ethiopia. - What? 565 00:56:56,840 --> 00:57:00,742 His mother is a Roman Catholic, he's been in prison in South Africa, 566 00:57:00,911 --> 00:57:04,938 he's as black as the ace of spades and probably drinks his own pee. 567 00:57:05,048 --> 00:57:07,278 - Take that, you bitch! - Oh! 568 00:57:07,384 --> 00:57:11,115 You lying, ungrateful bitch! You get in that car. 569 00:57:11,288 --> 00:57:13,779 It's the doghouse for you, you bitch. 570 00:57:13,924 --> 00:57:18,793 Bloody gynecologist. Blasted gynecologist. 571 00:57:21,631 --> 00:57:23,792 Get up. Get up. 572 00:57:26,102 --> 00:57:29,128 Get in the car, you slag. 573 00:57:30,507 --> 00:57:32,771 Get in there. Go on. 574 00:57:35,745 --> 00:57:37,736 Yeah. 575 00:58:03,607 --> 00:58:05,632 Maiser came here. 576 00:58:05,742 --> 00:58:10,543 And Trelawny with his black lady friends who wore peaches in their hair. 577 00:58:10,714 --> 00:58:12,909 - Peaches? - Imitation. 578 00:58:13,016 --> 00:58:17,612 And the Austrian brothers sat by the door - high-wire professionals. 579 00:58:17,754 --> 00:58:20,086 Great balancers, sloppy with money. 580 00:58:20,223 --> 00:58:27,425 And Tim Tranter drank soup here out of a cup with a straw when his jaw was broken. 581 00:58:27,530 --> 00:58:32,729 There used to be a mark up there where Goshy Capps threw a plate of kippers. 582 00:58:32,836 --> 00:58:35,430 - Kippers? - Yes, kippers, for God's sake. 583 00:58:35,572 --> 00:58:37,904 You wouldn't find kippers here. 584 00:58:38,041 --> 00:58:41,943 - They serve kippers for breakfast here. - You've had breakfast here? 585 00:58:42,012 --> 00:58:45,038 The ferryman and his lady ate here every morning. 586 00:58:45,248 --> 00:58:49,582 The ferryman was a poofter. And fish disagreed with him. 587 00:58:49,719 --> 00:58:54,019 - Who are all these people? - Small-time crooks and pimps... 588 00:58:54,157 --> 00:58:57,456 Boarst painted it out. I'll get him to paint it back again. 589 00:58:57,560 --> 00:59:01,257 ...gigolos, busted boxers, cheap whores... 590 00:59:01,431 --> 00:59:03,695 I've got the clippings at home. 591 00:59:03,800 --> 00:59:06,894 ...bullies, hairdressers, faggots. 592 00:59:07,003 --> 00:59:09,528 - Robin Hoods. - No, just hoods. 593 00:59:09,673 --> 00:59:14,906 You're getting very smart. Smart? Even his slang's out of date. 594 00:59:15,011 --> 00:59:18,503 Now I'm the clientele, you understand? Me. 595 00:59:18,682 --> 00:59:22,550 And Georgie here and Cory Peterson. The coq au vin is good. 596 00:59:22,719 --> 00:59:26,849 Cock a what? Chicken cooked in wine, you mule. 597 00:59:26,956 --> 00:59:31,359 - Bess Riddle lived on coq au vin. - More of the coq than the vin. 598 00:59:31,494 --> 00:59:35,157 Starkie, there are ladies present. 599 00:59:35,331 --> 00:59:39,165 - Or there were. Where's she gone? - Gracie's no lady, are you? 600 00:59:39,202 --> 00:59:42,467 - She must have a bladder infection. - She's one of us. 601 00:59:42,739 --> 00:59:46,505 There's nothing wrong except she disappears to the john. 602 00:59:46,710 --> 00:59:50,077 And which of the bladder infections do you have, Starkie? 603 00:59:50,213 --> 00:59:52,511 Ladies go to the toilet, not the john. 604 00:59:52,615 --> 00:59:56,949 Real ladies don't go to the toilet, they go to the bathroom. 605 00:59:57,754 --> 01:00:01,520 Boarst hasn't got a bathroom. Shut your mouth. 606 01:00:01,725 --> 01:00:05,991 You'd pee in your pants before you'd recognize a respectable WC. 607 01:00:14,537 --> 01:00:17,563 So, he's broken the silence for us 608 01:00:19,109 --> 01:00:21,373 and your name is Georgina. 609 01:00:23,513 --> 01:00:28,212 Yes. And don't ever call me Georgie. 610 01:00:30,253 --> 01:00:32,813 You have beautiful eyes, Georgina. 611 01:00:37,427 --> 01:00:41,864 And you have a beautiful prick, Mr. Gynecologist. 612 01:00:42,766 --> 01:00:46,998 - I have? - Yes, whatever its racist beliefs. 613 01:00:50,573 --> 01:00:54,236 - Your husband is a curiosity. - He is? 614 01:00:59,415 --> 01:01:01,781 Why? 615 01:01:01,918 --> 01:01:03,977 Why what? 616 01:01:06,723 --> 01:01:08,748 Why am I married to him? 617 01:01:11,494 --> 01:01:13,519 Why aren't you married? 618 01:01:13,630 --> 01:01:16,190 - How do you know I'm not? - You're not. 619 01:01:19,035 --> 01:01:21,230 - I'm not. - Why? 620 01:01:26,576 --> 01:01:31,479 I once saw a film in which the main character didn't speak for the first half an hour. 621 01:01:31,648 --> 01:01:36,881 Like us? Do all the minutes we've been together add up to half an hour? 622 01:01:39,622 --> 01:01:45,185 I was completely absorbed as to what would happen because anything was possible. 623 01:01:46,896 --> 01:01:49,364 And then? 624 01:01:49,399 --> 01:01:52,562 He spoilt it - he spoke. 625 01:01:54,470 --> 01:01:58,099 - And? - Within five minutes, I'd lost interest. 626 01:01:59,876 --> 01:02:04,438 So now you've opened your mouth, do you expect me to lose interest? 627 01:02:06,149 --> 01:02:08,344 It was only a film. 628 01:02:13,156 --> 01:02:16,455 Erm, now, we've been talking for one minute. 629 01:02:17,594 --> 01:02:21,086 We've got four minutes left before you lose interest. 630 01:02:21,231 --> 01:02:23,722 Four minutes. That's enough. 631 01:02:23,867 --> 01:02:26,028 Where's the bomb? 632 01:02:26,135 --> 01:02:33,541 He's, er... He's eating avocado vinaigrette and prawns. 633 01:02:34,878 --> 01:02:36,937 With his fingers. 634 01:02:38,815 --> 01:02:40,806 Kiss me. 635 01:02:45,388 --> 01:02:50,416 - Your restaurant's noisy, Spica. - It's popular on a Sunday night. 636 01:02:50,460 --> 01:02:53,156 I like a quiet restaurant, with floor shows. 637 01:02:53,329 --> 01:02:57,095 Boarst is a culinary artist, not a fancy entertainer. 638 01:02:57,267 --> 01:03:00,828 But we're here to please you, Terry. We'll get you a floor show. 639 01:03:00,970 --> 01:03:05,236 Cory, phone Santini. Five girls - strippers. 640 01:03:05,341 --> 01:03:08,333 Make it decent, will you? My daughter's present. 641 01:03:08,444 --> 01:03:12,346 Five dancing girls with music. Strictly no filth, only class. 642 01:03:12,515 --> 01:03:15,550 And make it quiet. I want to keep my ears till I'm 90. 643 01:03:15,585 --> 01:03:20,079 God, Terry, what sort of floor show do you like? Mute nuns? 644 01:03:20,390 --> 01:03:25,054 If they call me Mr. Fitch, I might. I'm only Terry to my wife, Spica. 645 01:03:25,228 --> 01:03:27,856 - Like me. - You're Terry and all, are you? 646 01:03:28,031 --> 01:03:31,797 - I'm only Albert to Georgina. - Even when she's in the loo? 647 01:03:31,968 --> 01:03:35,426 - Shut your whore up, Cory! - God, you're noisy, Spica. 648 01:03:35,571 --> 01:03:39,405 Makes for indigestion. Don't you find, love? What's your name? 649 01:03:39,575 --> 01:03:40,906 Patricia, Mr. Fitch. 650 01:03:41,044 --> 01:03:45,081 Are you a good dancer? You look as if you might be a good dancer. 651 01:03:45,116 --> 01:03:48,915 We'd like to see you get up and dance, with Geoff. 652 01:03:49,218 --> 01:03:51,482 Geoff's a very good dancer. 653 01:03:51,587 --> 01:03:55,216 - There's no dancing allowed. - I always eat at home. 654 01:03:55,391 --> 01:03:57,791 - Best place. - No food poisoning. 655 01:03:57,961 --> 01:04:02,989 Ricky Boarst is as safe as houses. He keeps a very clean kitchen, go and see. 656 01:04:03,099 --> 01:04:05,260 I'd like to see. 657 01:04:05,368 --> 01:04:10,772 - Mitchel, take the lady to see the kitchen. - I'll take her myself, Spica. 658 01:04:13,910 --> 01:04:17,038 - Show me the way. - Through that door. 659 01:04:17,146 --> 01:04:21,310 I'll call in the bathroom and send Georgie back tout de suite. 660 01:04:21,417 --> 01:04:23,578 That means immediately. 661 01:04:23,686 --> 01:04:28,214 - Your new girlfriend's cheap, Cory. - She's only practicing her French. 662 01:04:28,358 --> 01:04:30,656 It's a French restaurant, isn't it? 663 01:04:54,617 --> 01:04:57,245 Someone's having pheasant for dinner. 664 01:05:02,759 --> 01:05:06,024 One, two, three, four, five, six, seven... 665 01:05:07,063 --> 01:05:11,056 We could be interrupted, um... 700 times. 666 01:05:12,902 --> 01:05:18,704 - What's your boyfriend paying you, Patricia? - Paying me? He doesn't pay me. 667 01:05:18,875 --> 01:05:21,742 He buys me meals and drinks. 668 01:05:21,911 --> 01:05:24,937 - Doesn't he give you no pocket money? - No. 669 01:05:25,048 --> 01:05:28,643 Nothing for a tuna fish sandwich late at night or a bottle of gin 670 01:05:28,818 --> 01:05:32,083 - to make you forget what you had for lunch? - No. 671 01:05:32,188 --> 01:05:35,555 Phew, it stinks here. 672 01:05:37,960 --> 01:05:40,451 Listen, how about if... 673 01:05:41,497 --> 01:05:43,624 if I gave you some pocket money? 674 01:05:45,101 --> 01:05:47,160 What do I have to do to earn it? 675 01:06:08,658 --> 01:06:11,286 OK, here they are. Where's Fitch? 676 01:06:12,261 --> 01:06:14,957 Phillipe, clear those tables. We need more space. 677 01:06:15,131 --> 01:06:18,225 - But Mr. Spica, they are eating. - Move them. 678 01:06:18,334 --> 01:06:22,498 You are in the way of the floor show. You're gonna have to move. 679 01:06:22,605 --> 01:06:24,664 We're in the middle of our meal. 680 01:06:24,774 --> 01:06:29,370 If you're going to eat quite quickly, you can finish your soup. 681 01:06:30,313 --> 01:06:33,840 After all, you don't want to get trampled on, do you? 682 01:06:35,184 --> 01:06:37,379 Hold him. Hold him. 683 01:06:40,723 --> 01:06:43,317 It's a pity you didn't take my advice. 684 01:06:43,459 --> 01:06:46,860 All that lovely food. Richard will be disappointed. 685 01:06:46,996 --> 01:06:52,866 Now, you're gonna have to eat in the kitchen like naughty little children, eh? 686 01:06:53,035 --> 01:06:55,435 Hey, what is your name? 687 01:06:55,571 --> 01:06:59,166 What did you say? Did I hear you say William? 688 01:06:59,342 --> 01:07:03,142 Well, naughty little Willie, tiny little Willie, 689 01:07:03,346 --> 01:07:07,112 how would you like to be spanked on your big, fat bottom? 690 01:07:15,525 --> 01:07:20,121 Seeing as you're so keen on Richard's mushrooms, William, 691 01:07:20,263 --> 01:07:25,360 you, I'm gonna give you five, the count of five 692 01:07:25,468 --> 01:07:29,268 and I want to see you on the way to the kitchen 693 01:07:29,438 --> 01:07:31,497 or you'll be out in the street! 694 01:07:31,607 --> 01:07:33,632 Get out. 695 01:07:48,357 --> 01:07:52,953 ♪ I am waiting, I am waiting 696 01:07:53,996 --> 01:07:58,296 ♪ Come up with something sometime now 697 01:07:59,468 --> 01:08:04,337 ♪ We're only here for love... ♪ 698 01:08:04,473 --> 01:08:07,909 - Oh, look at the time. I must go back. - One minute more. 699 01:08:08,144 --> 01:08:10,738 - No. - 30 seconds. 700 01:08:23,326 --> 01:08:26,090 Oh! Oh! 701 01:08:26,295 --> 01:08:28,695 Oh. What the hell are you doing? 702 01:08:29,832 --> 01:08:33,029 I bought meself a ride. Why don't you keep still? 703 01:08:33,135 --> 01:08:34,932 Sorry, I had a surprise. 704 01:08:36,105 --> 01:08:40,838 What bloody surprises could there be possibly left for you? 705 01:08:41,010 --> 01:08:43,103 I give up, you bitch. 706 01:08:44,247 --> 01:08:46,613 I'm sick of jumpy whores. 707 01:08:47,617 --> 01:08:52,782 You're only worth a Fitch one star - that ain't for looks, that's for availability. 708 01:08:52,888 --> 01:08:55,152 ♪ I am waiting 709 01:08:56,192 --> 01:08:58,251 ♪ I am waiting 710 01:08:59,362 --> 01:09:03,492 ♪ Come up with something sometime now 711 01:09:04,600 --> 01:09:08,730 ♪ We're only here for love 712 01:09:09,839 --> 01:09:12,273 ♪ Outside the reach of money 713 01:09:12,408 --> 01:09:14,774 ♪ Beyond the reach of fame 714 01:09:14,910 --> 01:09:19,472 ♪ We're not for buying or lending out... ♪ 715 01:09:19,615 --> 01:09:22,516 Look who's just come out of the woodwork. 716 01:09:27,890 --> 01:09:30,324 ♪ Be quick and be tight 717 01:09:30,459 --> 01:09:33,053 ♪ And be it not and be right 718 01:09:33,229 --> 01:09:35,857 ♪ Then be slow and... ♪ 719 01:09:35,931 --> 01:09:41,494 - What've you been doing? - I've just been earning you good money. 720 01:09:41,804 --> 01:09:45,535 And I've just seen how we can earn ourselves some more. 721 01:09:47,476 --> 01:09:49,842 ♪ Then go ♪ 722 01:09:59,455 --> 01:10:05,325 We have complaints of offensive smells from two vans on the restaurant premises. 723 01:10:05,494 --> 01:10:08,554 The restaurant denies any responsibility. Over. 724 01:10:11,467 --> 01:10:13,367 Why can't we meet somewhere else? 725 01:10:13,402 --> 01:10:17,930 That's impossible. It's better to do it under his nose. 726 01:10:18,107 --> 01:10:21,975 He'll never believe I do it right under his nose 727 01:10:23,946 --> 01:10:26,414 between courses, 728 01:10:26,549 --> 01:10:29,382 between the hors d'oeuvres and the canard a l'orange, 729 01:10:29,552 --> 01:10:31,816 between the dessert and the coffee. 730 01:10:33,022 --> 01:10:35,320 Besides, 731 01:10:36,592 --> 01:10:38,583 I'm learning fast 732 01:10:39,829 --> 01:10:41,922 how to cut corners, save time. 733 01:10:44,033 --> 01:10:47,628 I'm getting good at it, aren't I, Michael? Aren't I? 734 01:10:49,105 --> 01:10:51,471 Aren't I getting good at it? Aren't I? 735 01:10:52,608 --> 01:10:55,008 Aren't I getting good at it? Mm. 736 01:10:56,345 --> 01:10:58,506 Aren't I getting good at it? Oh. 737 01:11:05,254 --> 01:11:08,815 Last night was bloody awful and you're to blame, Cory. 738 01:11:08,858 --> 01:11:12,658 - Tonight you'll starve. - I don't like the foreign muck anyway. 739 01:11:12,962 --> 01:11:17,990 Don't talk to me like that, you uneducated prat! You couldn't organize a rape in a brothel! 740 01:11:19,034 --> 01:11:24,199 The girls were lousy, the music was lousy, you mucked the whole thing up. 741 01:11:24,306 --> 01:11:27,576 Couldn't keep your own girl under control at all. Tch! 742 01:11:27,611 --> 01:11:30,272 - First she shows off... - I didn't. 743 01:11:30,546 --> 01:11:33,037 Shut your face, who's talking to you? 744 01:11:33,182 --> 01:11:35,349 Then she goes and plays hard to get. 745 01:11:35,384 --> 01:11:39,844 I mean, if she's been with you, Cory, how the hell can she be hard to get? 746 01:11:43,726 --> 01:11:47,526 Spangler, get us a drink, quickly. Then she upsets Fitch in some way. 747 01:11:47,696 --> 01:11:50,529 - Fitch is a pig. - Fitch has got manners. 748 01:11:50,699 --> 01:11:53,793 He was like a bear with a sore head. Did you piss in his pants? 749 01:11:53,903 --> 01:11:57,896 Then she's giggling like a virgin playing with a candle. 750 01:11:58,007 --> 01:12:02,910 You'll have to make it up to him. He likes you, though you look like a bloke. 751 01:12:03,078 --> 01:12:06,741 - Perhaps he likes blokes. - None of that homosexual talk. 752 01:12:06,916 --> 01:12:10,215 He'll remember. Yesterday evening's got my name on it. 753 01:12:10,352 --> 01:12:14,652 I'm not going with him. He sweats and stinks and he can't make it. 754 01:12:14,757 --> 01:12:17,157 - Shut your whore up, Cory. - Like Georgie? 755 01:12:17,293 --> 01:12:20,592 - Shut up! - She's a fine woman. She's never let me down. 756 01:12:20,729 --> 01:12:23,220 - You must be joking. - Shut up, Pat! 757 01:12:23,365 --> 01:12:26,061 - She's upset. - What do you mean, I must be joking? 758 01:12:26,235 --> 01:12:29,102 - Here. Get rid of her. - Don't do that to a woman. 759 01:12:29,271 --> 01:12:32,406 - I do what I like to a woman. - That's your trouble. 760 01:12:32,441 --> 01:12:36,605 No wonder Georgie looks like she does and hates your guts. 761 01:12:36,812 --> 01:12:40,077 - What are you talking about? - No wonder she screws around. 762 01:12:40,182 --> 01:12:43,777 - You what? - You're so bloody blind, you'd never notice. 763 01:12:43,953 --> 01:12:46,717 - Shut up! She's raving. - I'm not. I saw them. 764 01:12:46,889 --> 01:12:48,856 - Who? - Georgie and that Jew. 765 01:12:48,891 --> 01:12:52,622 - What Jew? - That bloke who sits over there, reading. 766 01:12:52,895 --> 01:12:56,763 Haven't you noticed? They always go off to the john together. 767 01:12:56,932 --> 01:13:01,050 - You what? - Why do you think Georgie's always in the john? 768 01:13:01,085 --> 01:13:05,169 You blind bat. She doesn't have the shits every five minutes. 769 01:13:06,509 --> 01:13:08,238 Shit! 770 01:13:13,849 --> 01:13:18,115 Shh. It's all right. It's all right. Shh. Quiet. 771 01:13:18,354 --> 01:13:20,379 Shh. Shh. 772 01:13:22,224 --> 01:13:24,249 Shh. 773 01:13:47,249 --> 01:13:49,376 I'm going to the loo. 774 01:13:58,594 --> 01:14:00,459 Georgina! 775 01:14:02,765 --> 01:14:04,756 Georgina! 776 01:14:05,701 --> 01:14:09,000 Georgina, where are you, you bitch? Georgina! 777 01:14:09,605 --> 01:14:13,666 - What are you doing? Get out! - Get out, you bitch. Georgina! 778 01:14:13,776 --> 01:14:15,767 Where are you? Get out! 779 01:14:15,878 --> 01:14:18,005 Go on, get out! 780 01:14:18,113 --> 01:14:20,308 Where are you? 781 01:14:20,416 --> 01:14:24,182 - No, please! - Get out of here! Get out, you... 782 01:14:24,353 --> 01:14:28,414 Please, no! Please, no! 783 01:14:28,524 --> 01:14:31,152 - Go on! Georgie! - Please, no. 784 01:14:31,694 --> 01:14:33,719 Where are you, Georgie? 785 01:14:47,843 --> 01:14:52,303 It's over. He has found out. 786 01:14:52,448 --> 01:14:56,111 Georgina? Georgina! 787 01:14:56,285 --> 01:14:58,549 Georgina! 788 01:14:58,654 --> 01:15:01,714 Georgie! You get out. 789 01:15:03,626 --> 01:15:06,390 I'll get him to leave. 790 01:15:06,562 --> 01:15:10,589 - Richard, don't get into trouble over me. - Georgie! 791 01:15:12,601 --> 01:15:15,968 - Let's go and face him. - Don't be mad. He'll kill you! 792 01:15:16,305 --> 01:15:18,569 Come quickly. Come with me. 793 01:15:23,479 --> 01:15:27,615 - Wait here five minutes. - We'll freeze to death. 794 01:15:27,650 --> 01:15:32,019 He will never look in here. Only five minutes. I will get your clothes. 795 01:15:32,187 --> 01:15:35,486 Georgie, where are you? 796 01:15:37,860 --> 01:15:41,762 Georgina! Georgie, where are you? 797 01:15:41,930 --> 01:15:44,057 Georgie. Georgie. 798 01:15:46,101 --> 01:15:48,228 You! Where is she? Where's my wife? 799 01:15:48,337 --> 01:15:51,636 - What's the matter? - You know. Fetching her cigarettes. 800 01:15:51,740 --> 01:15:54,868 - Where's my wife? - Your wife is your affair. 801 01:15:54,977 --> 01:15:57,445 This is not a lost property office. 802 01:15:57,579 --> 01:16:00,013 I want my wife! Where is she? 803 01:16:00,149 --> 01:16:03,949 You! You stupid little rat. Where's my wife? Where is she? 804 01:16:04,119 --> 01:16:08,419 If you have finished, I'll ask you to leave the kitchen. 805 01:16:08,557 --> 01:16:12,618 - I have other diners to consider. - Oh! Uh! 806 01:16:12,728 --> 01:16:16,494 I'm the only diner who matters here. I own this restaurant. 807 01:16:16,699 --> 01:16:19,862 I want my wife. You've hidden her. Where is she? 808 01:16:20,869 --> 01:16:23,201 God keep me calm! Where are they? 809 01:16:23,338 --> 01:16:25,829 Georgina! Georgina! 810 01:16:26,875 --> 01:16:30,003 - Georgina! Georgina! - Ahh! 811 01:16:31,213 --> 01:16:34,273 Georgina! Where is she, Boarst? 812 01:16:37,186 --> 01:16:41,782 Boarst, where is she? Georgie! Georgie! 813 01:16:43,025 --> 01:16:45,619 Georgie, you bitch! 814 01:16:46,895 --> 01:16:49,386 Hard around. 815 01:16:53,302 --> 01:16:56,601 Georgie! I want my wife! 816 01:17:05,814 --> 01:17:07,805 Georgie! 817 01:17:11,120 --> 01:17:12,678 I'll bloody find her. 818 01:17:13,756 --> 01:17:15,781 I'll bloody find her. 819 01:17:15,891 --> 01:17:21,090 I'll find them. I'll bloody find them. I knew it. Scheming tart! 820 01:17:21,196 --> 01:17:23,824 I'll bloody find them and I'll bloody kill him! 821 01:17:23,999 --> 01:17:26,024 And I'll bloody eat him! 822 01:17:26,135 --> 01:17:28,797 I'll kill him and I'll eat him! 823 01:17:29,471 --> 01:17:33,567 - I'll kill him and then I'll eat him. - Oh, shit! 824 01:17:33,809 --> 01:17:36,903 I'll eat him! 825 01:17:38,347 --> 01:17:40,347 I'll eat him! 826 01:17:40,382 --> 01:17:45,376 We can get you out. Eden can drive you. Where do you want to go? 827 01:17:45,587 --> 01:17:47,782 I know a place. 828 01:17:47,890 --> 01:17:51,553 - What about our clothes? - I'll get them to you. Quickly. 829 01:17:52,694 --> 01:17:54,753 Quickly. Quick. 830 01:18:13,482 --> 01:18:16,212 No. No. No, no. 831 01:18:16,385 --> 01:18:19,445 No, please. Aah! No. 832 01:20:00,722 --> 01:20:03,020 What is this place? 833 01:20:03,125 --> 01:20:05,116 It's a book depository. 834 01:20:06,228 --> 01:20:10,130 When my bookshop is quiet, I do a stocktaking job. 835 01:20:11,633 --> 01:20:14,830 I'm cataloguing French history. 836 01:20:18,440 --> 01:20:21,136 There's a kitchen and a bathroom. 837 01:20:21,310 --> 01:20:25,440 It's a bit primitive but there's an extraordinary view. 838 01:20:25,547 --> 01:20:27,845 Have you read all these books? 839 01:20:27,983 --> 01:20:30,076 No. 840 01:20:30,185 --> 01:20:35,885 It's not necessary for the book-keeper to read all the stock. 841 01:20:36,058 --> 01:20:39,221 With a job like this, you could be very boring. 842 01:20:41,663 --> 01:20:43,858 Are we safe here? 843 01:20:46,435 --> 01:20:48,232 Does Albert read? 844 01:20:49,404 --> 01:20:50,962 No. 845 01:20:53,308 --> 01:20:55,936 If you don't read, does that make you safe? 846 01:20:56,111 --> 01:20:58,306 Only from bad books. 847 01:21:00,215 --> 01:21:03,207 You could spend a lifetime in here reading. 848 01:21:03,318 --> 01:21:09,814 You could. Two lifetimes - yours and mine. 849 01:21:09,992 --> 01:21:12,517 - Is that what I'm in for? - No. 850 01:21:17,599 --> 01:21:21,660 What good are all these books to you? You can't eat them. 851 01:21:21,770 --> 01:21:24,534 How can they make you happy? 852 01:21:24,706 --> 01:21:27,470 I've always found them very reasonable. 853 01:21:27,676 --> 01:21:30,941 They don't change their minds when you're not looking. 854 01:21:31,046 --> 01:21:33,674 That sounds like a disadvantage to me. 855 01:21:36,251 --> 01:21:38,446 Kiss me. 856 01:21:39,187 --> 01:21:43,419 ♪ Wash me thoroughly 857 01:21:43,525 --> 01:21:46,824 ♪ From my iniquity 858 01:21:47,596 --> 01:21:50,030 ♪ And blot out... ♪ 859 01:21:51,099 --> 01:21:53,397 - I... - ♪ Blot out... ♪ 860 01:21:53,535 --> 01:21:55,298 - I think perhaps... - ♪ My...? ♪ 861 01:21:55,470 --> 01:21:58,928 I think perhaps we'll leave the singing. 862 01:21:59,074 --> 01:22:02,134 Do you agree, until later, maybe? 863 01:22:06,281 --> 01:22:08,749 How is the restaurant? 864 01:22:08,884 --> 01:22:13,150 - It's all right. - And Richard? Mr. Boarst? 865 01:22:13,255 --> 01:22:15,485 He's fine. 866 01:22:17,092 --> 01:22:19,788 Is there any more trouble, 867 01:22:21,063 --> 01:22:23,258 er, like last night? 868 01:22:23,298 --> 01:22:25,994 - No, sir. - Would you like to join us? 869 01:22:29,838 --> 01:22:33,433 No, thank you. I'll eat later with Mr. Boarst. 870 01:22:47,823 --> 01:22:49,848 Enjoy your meal. 871 01:22:49,958 --> 01:22:51,949 Thank you. 872 01:22:56,798 --> 01:23:02,100 Erm, have you any other news to tell us? 873 01:23:03,305 --> 01:23:08,902 Mr. Boarst says... He told me to tell you to stay put 874 01:23:09,044 --> 01:23:12,639 and he wishes you bon appetit. 875 01:23:12,781 --> 01:23:14,646 Thank you. 876 01:23:22,491 --> 01:23:25,551 When you're finished, I'm to take the dishes back. 877 01:23:26,661 --> 01:23:32,190 Oh, if you find any of those books interesting, you can borrow them. 878 01:24:04,766 --> 01:24:07,166 Wa-woo! Di-Di-Di-Di-dah-da! 879 01:24:17,012 --> 01:24:19,708 All right, where are they? Where are they? 880 01:24:20,649 --> 01:24:23,413 - I don't know. - You don't know? 881 01:24:23,585 --> 01:24:28,249 I don't suppose you ate all this yourself. What have we got in here? Let's see. Ah. 882 01:24:28,423 --> 01:24:32,723 Fish sauce with mayonnaise and a touch of basil. I like basil. 883 01:24:32,861 --> 01:24:35,261 What else we got in here? Aha. 884 01:24:35,397 --> 01:24:38,958 It's sticky. Don't tell me. Chocolate sauce - profiteroles. 885 01:24:39,100 --> 01:24:41,625 Georgina liked profiteroles. 886 01:24:42,771 --> 01:24:47,037 Oh, and serviettes with Georgina's lipstick on them. 887 01:24:47,142 --> 01:24:49,940 And a nice bottle of wine. Very nice. 888 01:24:50,111 --> 01:24:53,171 He's for the chop, Richard. I'll get my hands on him. 889 01:24:53,281 --> 01:24:57,718 Leave that bread roll alone. I need to know where they are. Where are they? Eh? 890 01:24:57,852 --> 01:25:03,188 Ah. Ah. That's good. Open your mouth. Come on, open it. 891 01:25:03,325 --> 01:25:06,988 - Take an interest in your food. - We don't need to do this. 892 01:25:07,162 --> 01:25:10,529 - Getting squeamish? - He's just a kid. 893 01:25:10,665 --> 01:25:14,658 - Stand him up and get his trousers down. - Leave him alone. 894 01:25:14,769 --> 01:25:20,207 Get out. Who needs fairies like you? And take your four-eyed cousin with you. 895 01:25:20,342 --> 01:25:25,803 See how you get on in the streets without me to wipe your noses. Get lost! Righto. 896 01:25:25,947 --> 01:25:29,246 OK, button eater, tell me where they are. 897 01:25:33,188 --> 01:25:35,452 OK, button eater, where are they? 898 01:25:36,825 --> 01:25:41,057 We've run out of buttons. But there is one more button. 899 01:25:41,296 --> 01:25:44,663 It's your bellybutton. How'd you like to swallow that? 900 01:25:44,799 --> 01:25:47,029 - Albert! - You still here? 901 01:25:47,135 --> 01:25:49,899 Well, then, watch this. 902 01:25:58,313 --> 01:26:02,716 Wake him up! Wake him up, wake him up. I must find out where she is! 903 01:26:02,851 --> 01:26:04,716 Wake him up! 904 01:26:05,887 --> 01:26:07,912 Wake him up! 905 01:26:08,990 --> 01:26:13,757 Where are they? If he comes to, he better start to talk. 906 01:26:21,336 --> 01:26:23,861 I got 'em! 907 01:27:09,484 --> 01:27:11,679 I have brought your dinner. 908 01:27:20,362 --> 01:27:22,694 Where's the kitchen lad? 909 01:27:22,831 --> 01:27:26,528 - He is in hospital. - What? 910 01:27:30,105 --> 01:27:34,667 He said he told them nothing and I believe him. 911 01:27:34,809 --> 01:27:39,007 - I must see him. - I don't think that's wise. 912 01:27:39,114 --> 01:27:40,877 I'm coming. 913 01:27:42,050 --> 01:27:44,518 You must take me to him. 914 01:27:44,652 --> 01:27:47,985 - Start packing. - What have we got to pack? 915 01:27:49,391 --> 01:27:52,656 Richard. Richard, bring that for Pup. 916 01:27:52,761 --> 01:27:56,322 What can you do? You only endanger yourself. 917 01:27:57,932 --> 01:28:00,230 I'll only be gone an hour. 918 01:28:00,335 --> 01:28:03,031 Richard, you can bring me back, can't you? 919 01:28:05,607 --> 01:28:09,168 Oh, poor Pup. Oh, poor Pup. 920 01:28:16,851 --> 01:28:19,149 Leave me something to eat. 921 01:28:19,254 --> 01:28:21,347 Of course. 922 01:28:23,992 --> 01:28:26,153 Please be very careful. 923 01:28:52,487 --> 01:28:59,359 ♪ Have mercy upon me 924 01:29:00,929 --> 01:29:07,493 ♪ Have mercy upon me 925 01:29:09,270 --> 01:29:15,834 ♪ Blot out my transgressions 926 01:29:17,145 --> 01:29:23,812 ♪ Blot out my transgressions 927 01:29:25,053 --> 01:29:32,084 ♪ Purge me with hyssop... ♪ 928 01:29:34,596 --> 01:29:36,621 Thank you. 929 01:29:40,635 --> 01:29:46,767 ♪ Wash me, wash me 930 01:29:47,876 --> 01:29:55,112 ♪ And I shall be whiter than snow... ♪ 931 01:30:03,658 --> 01:30:06,218 Hold him by his hair. 932 01:30:06,361 --> 01:30:08,522 He hasn't got much hair to hold. 933 01:30:08,630 --> 01:30:12,225 - Disgusting to be that old and to be her lover. - Same age as you. 934 01:30:12,400 --> 01:30:17,030 - I'm her husband, not her lover. - You can only be one and not the other? 935 01:30:17,205 --> 01:30:23,769 If he'd been younger, I could've understood. He'd just be a passing fancy. You bastard! 936 01:30:23,912 --> 01:30:28,008 Right, Mitchel, now's your chance. You are gonna chew bollocks. 937 01:30:28,116 --> 01:30:30,744 - He's too old. - What's that mean? 938 01:30:30,919 --> 01:30:33,581 He's the same age as me - 40, almost. 939 01:30:33,755 --> 01:30:36,747 If he was younger it would've been all right? 940 01:30:36,858 --> 01:30:40,954 My God. When you're 17, is being 40 old? 941 01:30:41,062 --> 01:30:47,900 - He probably hasn't had a bath recently. - God, Mitchel, you are a prize mule. 942 01:30:49,571 --> 01:30:51,562 Well, I mean, certainly... 943 01:30:51,639 --> 01:30:55,405 - He must've been with Georgina last night. - No! Shut up. 944 01:30:55,577 --> 01:30:58,171 Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up! 945 01:30:58,346 --> 01:31:00,678 You pissing little worm. 946 01:31:02,684 --> 01:31:04,879 God, you are an idiot, Mitchel. 947 01:31:04,986 --> 01:31:09,286 You can be guaranteed to say the wrong thing at the right time. 948 01:31:09,390 --> 01:31:13,793 I didn't mean that you literally had to chew his bollocks off. 949 01:31:13,928 --> 01:31:16,726 I meant it metaphorically. 950 01:31:16,898 --> 01:31:19,025 What does that mean, Albert? 951 01:31:19,133 --> 01:31:22,534 "Jewish Book-keeper Savaged By Young Sex Maniac." 952 01:31:22,670 --> 01:31:26,231 I don't want this to look like a sex murder. 953 01:31:26,374 --> 01:31:31,607 It's a revenge killing, an affair of the heart, a crime passionnel. 954 01:31:31,713 --> 01:31:35,240 I want no evil gossip spread around about me. 955 01:31:35,383 --> 01:31:40,980 They are not going to say... They are going to say this was a dignified revenge killing. 956 01:31:41,122 --> 01:31:43,189 They're gonna admire the style. 957 01:31:43,224 --> 01:31:47,354 "He was stuffed. And Albert liked good food." 958 01:31:47,562 --> 01:31:51,965 They might even smile. "He was stuffed with the tools of his trade." 959 01:31:52,867 --> 01:31:57,895 "He was stuffed with books. The crummy little book-keeper was..." 960 01:31:58,006 --> 01:32:02,773 Mitchel, no unnecessary... No unnecessaries. 961 01:32:03,945 --> 01:32:09,247 Finish him off! Shut his mouth, hold his nose, ram the bloody books down his throat. 962 01:32:09,350 --> 01:32:11,784 Suffocate the bastard! 963 01:32:19,027 --> 01:32:21,188 Michael! 964 01:32:31,172 --> 01:32:32,639 Michael. 965 01:32:55,863 --> 01:33:00,493 OK, so this is how you eat the crayfish. First, you snap off the head. 966 01:33:01,936 --> 01:33:04,029 Then you pull out the whiskers, 967 01:33:04,138 --> 01:33:06,436 then you strip off the legs. 968 01:33:08,242 --> 01:33:15,341 And then you poke out the soft part of the body. 969 01:33:15,450 --> 01:33:19,011 - You turn the light out? - What light? 970 01:33:20,154 --> 01:33:24,557 Idiot. You wouldn't remember to fart. Place might burn down with all them books. 971 01:33:24,726 --> 01:33:29,288 - That would nicely destroy the evidence. - I don't want it destroyed, idiot! 972 01:33:29,430 --> 01:33:31,193 I want Georgina to see it. 973 01:34:34,028 --> 01:34:36,121 What did he say? 974 01:34:36,230 --> 01:34:40,428 The French Revolution was easier to swallow than Napoleon. 975 01:34:40,535 --> 01:34:44,198 Napoleon was a prat. He threw everything away. 976 01:34:44,372 --> 01:34:49,708 Napoleon liked seafood. His favorite dish was oysters Florentine. 977 01:34:49,844 --> 01:34:52,877 It's amazing, isn't it? Churchill liked seafood. 978 01:34:52,912 --> 01:34:55,911 All the great generals were keen on seafood. 979 01:34:57,251 --> 01:35:00,277 What did Julius Caesar like, or Hitler? 980 01:35:00,388 --> 01:35:03,721 Hitler liked clams. And Mussolini liked squid. 981 01:35:03,858 --> 01:35:06,588 - You're making it up. - What do you know, Harris? 982 01:35:06,828 --> 01:35:10,127 - What did the bookseller eat? - You could tell from his vomit. 983 01:35:10,264 --> 01:35:14,530 What do I care what he ate? It all comes out as shit in the end. 984 01:35:34,856 --> 01:35:36,881 I'm so tired. 985 01:35:39,961 --> 01:35:42,088 I'm going to sleep. 986 01:35:57,044 --> 01:35:59,911 I've got a lot to tell you in the morning. 987 01:36:01,115 --> 01:36:03,310 And I want you to listen. 988 01:36:05,453 --> 01:36:08,945 Somebody should know. And who can I tell but you? 989 01:36:13,394 --> 01:36:15,259 And then... 990 01:36:20,201 --> 01:36:22,499 when I wake up in the morning, 991 01:36:26,807 --> 01:36:29,071 I want you to kiss me. 992 01:36:33,481 --> 01:36:35,779 And then I want breakfast. 993 01:36:36,951 --> 01:36:40,580 Erm, coffee and fresh rolls and butter 994 01:36:43,224 --> 01:36:45,283 and marmalade. 995 01:36:46,394 --> 01:36:49,591 And toast. 996 01:36:50,765 --> 01:36:52,926 And... 997 01:36:55,002 --> 01:36:57,129 Good night, Michael. 998 01:37:02,510 --> 01:37:04,842 I'll see you in the morning. 999 01:37:09,317 --> 01:37:11,410 I love you. 1000 01:37:13,187 --> 01:37:16,486 - You shouldn't have done it. It wasn't worth it. - You what? 1001 01:37:16,590 --> 01:37:20,959 Georgina wasn't worth it? How bloody dare you say that? 1002 01:37:21,095 --> 01:37:25,725 Georgina's worth a thousand snooty little Jewish book-keeping clerks 1003 01:37:25,900 --> 01:37:28,926 who masturbate over the French Revolution. 1004 01:37:29,036 --> 01:37:34,269 The book-keeper will get us into trouble and he wasn't worth it. Calm down. 1005 01:37:34,375 --> 01:37:39,745 Little circumcised mediocrity was screwing my wife! I will not calm down! 1006 01:37:39,880 --> 01:37:44,146 I've seen you, Harris, eyeing Georgina, looking at another man's wife. 1007 01:37:44,251 --> 01:37:48,017 I've seen you watch her skirt fly up when she got out of the car. 1008 01:37:48,189 --> 01:37:50,657 Yes, I've seen you sniffing her, Harris. 1009 01:37:50,791 --> 01:37:53,988 And to think I ever trusted you with her, 1010 01:37:55,096 --> 01:37:58,395 that I ever trusted you to drive her home when I was drunk. 1011 01:37:58,499 --> 01:38:01,400 - You get out of this restaurant! - Calm down. 1012 01:38:01,569 --> 01:38:05,164 Mitchel, get Richard. I want this man banned. Get out! 1013 01:38:05,306 --> 01:38:08,798 - If you want to shout... - I can shout in my own restaurant! 1014 01:38:08,943 --> 01:38:12,777 I own this restaurant. Get out! Fuck you! 1015 01:38:14,882 --> 01:38:18,750 Go, you mule! Richard, I'm closing you up. 1016 01:38:18,919 --> 01:38:22,719 - Really? - You are finished, Richard. 1017 01:38:22,890 --> 01:38:28,226 Allowing decent people to dine with wife snatchers. You're finished! 1018 01:38:28,362 --> 01:38:30,523 I think not, Mr. Spica! 1019 01:38:30,631 --> 01:38:36,092 And if I did, where would you eat? Who would have you? 1020 01:38:36,237 --> 01:38:41,402 Now, if you'd kindly leave, we can start clearing up the mess you have made. 1021 01:38:41,509 --> 01:38:46,572 I'm warning you. Tomorrow your restaurant will be just one big car park. 1022 01:38:46,680 --> 01:38:49,171 - Nothing more. - I wonder how you will do that. 1023 01:38:49,316 --> 01:38:54,488 A bulldozer, Richard. Your cuisine will be 20 feet under brick dust. 1024 01:38:54,523 --> 01:38:57,855 Get out of it, Harris. You get out of it. 1025 01:38:58,092 --> 01:39:01,994 Go on. I can tell loyalty when I see it. 1026 01:39:27,021 --> 01:39:29,251 Well, Michael, 1027 01:39:31,492 --> 01:39:33,653 you didn't kiss me 1028 01:39:35,896 --> 01:39:37,921 so... 1029 01:39:40,601 --> 01:39:43,399 I suppose I have to make my own breakfast. 1030 01:39:46,707 --> 01:39:48,868 Don't get up yet. 1031 01:40:05,259 --> 01:40:07,352 Well, Michael, 1032 01:40:10,431 --> 01:40:12,490 that's that. 1033 01:40:13,901 --> 01:40:17,337 Short and very sweet. 1034 01:40:20,574 --> 01:40:24,908 Now you're not listening, I suppose I could tell you about Albert. 1035 01:40:25,946 --> 01:40:30,974 I meant to tell you eventually but I'd have to know you better because... 1036 01:40:31,218 --> 01:40:33,709 Well, because I'd be so ashamed. 1037 01:40:36,590 --> 01:40:41,050 But it's important that I tell you now so that I can have done with it. 1038 01:40:47,434 --> 01:40:52,929 Albert beat me. Well, I know you know that. You saw the bruises. 1039 01:40:54,308 --> 01:40:56,572 He was regular in his habits. 1040 01:41:02,016 --> 01:41:05,611 When we got back from that restaurant, he'd make me get a hot, wet towel 1041 01:41:05,786 --> 01:41:08,016 and accompany him to the toilet. 1042 01:41:10,324 --> 01:41:12,554 And I'd have to wipe his... 1043 01:41:16,697 --> 01:41:19,825 After I finished, he... he made... Oh... 1044 01:41:24,672 --> 01:41:26,537 Help me, Michael. 1045 01:41:30,311 --> 01:41:35,180 On his side of the bed he had a suitcase with all kinds of objects in it. 1046 01:41:35,349 --> 01:41:37,544 Er, a toothbrush, 1047 01:41:39,453 --> 01:41:41,580 a wooden spoon, 1048 01:41:45,125 --> 01:41:47,320 a plastic train, 1049 01:41:48,696 --> 01:41:50,721 a wine bottle. 1050 01:41:50,831 --> 01:41:52,992 And he'd use them. 1051 01:41:54,768 --> 01:41:59,398 If I didn't do it whilst he watched, he'd insist on doing it himself. 1052 01:42:01,242 --> 01:42:04,268 At least when I did it, it hurt less. 1053 01:42:06,814 --> 01:42:11,717 I don't think he was very interested in sex - not with me, not with women. 1054 01:42:16,056 --> 01:42:18,217 I left him four times. 1055 01:42:20,194 --> 01:42:22,389 I caught the night ferry. 1056 01:42:24,898 --> 01:42:28,925 He and Harris found me in Brussels, they brought me back. 1057 01:42:30,371 --> 01:42:33,534 On the boat, Albert cried, bought me presents. 1058 01:42:35,743 --> 01:42:40,407 But then after we landed, when we got just outside the harbor, 1059 01:42:40,581 --> 01:42:43,311 before the motorway, he stopped the car 1060 01:42:43,384 --> 01:42:48,378 and he and Harris and Spangler dragged me out and stripped me and beat me. 1061 01:42:54,928 --> 01:42:56,793 'Michael, 1062 01:42:59,166 --> 01:43:01,361 'all this must finish. 1063 01:43:03,504 --> 01:43:06,530 'Help me, Michael. Please.' 1064 01:43:14,014 --> 01:43:16,141 He's dead. 1065 01:43:18,719 --> 01:43:23,884 They stuffed his mouth with paper ripped from his favorite book. 1066 01:43:23,991 --> 01:43:27,017 - Could you cook him? - Cook who, Georgina? 1067 01:43:28,529 --> 01:43:30,520 Michael. 1068 01:43:30,631 --> 01:43:33,293 No. Mon dieu, non. 1069 01:43:36,236 --> 01:43:41,230 You have a reputation for a wide range of experimental dishes. 1070 01:43:43,677 --> 01:43:46,111 He might taste good. 1071 01:43:46,246 --> 01:43:48,476 I'm sure he would taste good. 1072 01:43:48,582 --> 01:43:50,982 What would taste best? 1073 01:43:51,118 --> 01:43:54,349 His heart? His liver? 1074 01:43:54,455 --> 01:43:57,117 The cheeks of his backside? 1075 01:43:57,291 --> 01:44:00,658 His prairie oysters? 1076 01:44:03,364 --> 01:44:05,457 Georgina, 1077 01:44:05,566 --> 01:44:07,625 sit down. 1078 01:44:09,370 --> 01:44:11,201 Sit down. 1079 01:44:14,007 --> 01:44:17,465 When you make out a menu, how do you price each dish? 1080 01:44:20,314 --> 01:44:23,981 I charge a lot for anything black. 1081 01:44:24,016 --> 01:44:27,649 Grapes, olives, blackcurrants. 1082 01:44:30,758 --> 01:44:33,591 People like to remind themselves of death, 1083 01:44:34,661 --> 01:44:38,495 eating black food is like consuming death, 1084 01:44:39,633 --> 01:44:46,368 like saying, "Death, I'm eating you." 1085 01:44:46,540 --> 01:44:50,738 Black truffles are the most expensive. And caviar. 1086 01:44:52,679 --> 01:44:55,079 Death and birth. 1087 01:44:56,417 --> 01:44:59,181 The end and the beginning. 1088 01:45:00,587 --> 01:45:05,752 Don't you think it's appropriate that the most expensive items are black? 1089 01:45:09,630 --> 01:45:11,928 We also charge for vanity. 1090 01:45:13,033 --> 01:45:16,025 Diet foods have an additional surcharge 1091 01:45:17,471 --> 01:45:19,666 of 30%. 1092 01:45:20,774 --> 01:45:23,607 Aphrodisiacs, 50%. 1093 01:45:23,644 --> 01:45:28,513 And from what I saw, your lover did not need an aphrodisiac. 1094 01:45:29,850 --> 01:45:33,616 What did you see? I want to know. 1095 01:45:34,855 --> 01:45:36,720 Nobody knew but you. 1096 01:45:37,891 --> 01:45:40,325 Everyone pitied me. Even you pitied me. 1097 01:45:41,462 --> 01:45:45,364 And how can I know that he loved me if there were no witnesses? 1098 01:45:46,767 --> 01:45:51,932 If you loved him, that does not seem to be a very necessary question. 1099 01:45:52,039 --> 01:45:55,133 Yes, it does! Tell me what you know! 1100 01:45:58,479 --> 01:46:01,312 What I saw was what you let me see. 1101 01:46:03,984 --> 01:46:06,009 Of course it was. 1102 01:46:06,987 --> 01:46:11,549 How could I know that it was real unless someone else was watching? 1103 01:46:13,961 --> 01:46:16,088 Tell me what you saw. 1104 01:46:17,197 --> 01:46:19,495 Or are you ashamed to tell me? 1105 01:46:23,337 --> 01:46:25,532 No. 1106 01:46:25,639 --> 01:46:27,971 I saw him kissing you 1107 01:46:30,177 --> 01:46:32,236 on the mouth, 1108 01:46:34,448 --> 01:46:36,279 on the neck, 1109 01:46:37,451 --> 01:46:39,544 behind your ear. 1110 01:46:43,357 --> 01:46:45,723 I saw him undressing you. 1111 01:46:50,397 --> 01:46:52,661 I saw him kissing your breasts. 1112 01:46:56,637 --> 01:47:00,368 I saw him put his hand between your legs. 1113 01:47:02,910 --> 01:47:05,208 And what did you see me do? 1114 01:47:08,982 --> 01:47:11,143 I saw you kiss him on the mouth. 1115 01:47:15,422 --> 01:47:19,791 I saw you lying under him on the floor of the pantry. 1116 01:47:23,397 --> 01:47:26,628 I saw him take you from behind. 1117 01:47:31,572 --> 01:47:35,099 I saw you take his penis in your mouth. 1118 01:47:38,412 --> 01:47:40,744 I saw you... 1119 01:47:57,864 --> 01:48:00,424 Do lovers always behave like that? 1120 01:48:05,372 --> 01:48:08,466 My parents behaved like that. 1121 01:48:08,675 --> 01:48:10,666 They did? 1122 01:48:10,777 --> 01:48:15,237 - You saw them? - And lovers in the cinema behave like that. 1123 01:48:15,382 --> 01:48:17,475 No, that doesn't count. 1124 01:48:17,618 --> 01:48:22,453 And in my fantasies, lovers always behave like that. 1125 01:48:22,623 --> 01:48:24,318 Were you jealous? 1126 01:48:25,492 --> 01:48:27,687 Did we make you jealous? 1127 01:48:28,996 --> 01:48:31,157 Did you want to join us? 1128 01:48:32,332 --> 01:48:35,859 - If you did, help me now. - Georgina, no. 1129 01:48:36,003 --> 01:48:41,305 In memory of us making love in your kitchen and in your fantasies, help me now. 1130 01:48:41,441 --> 01:48:43,170 No. 1131 01:48:44,344 --> 01:48:48,337 In memory of your parents making love, help me now. 1132 01:48:48,448 --> 01:48:50,473 Georgina, no! 1133 01:48:51,418 --> 01:48:54,114 People I like learn my name too late. 1134 01:48:55,555 --> 01:48:57,785 Too late? 1135 01:48:59,026 --> 01:49:01,324 Cook Michael for me. 1136 01:49:01,428 --> 01:49:03,293 No. 1137 01:49:04,464 --> 01:49:06,955 This was his favorite restaurant. 1138 01:49:08,101 --> 01:49:10,126 It's also mine. 1139 01:49:11,238 --> 01:49:13,399 Cook Michael for me. 1140 01:49:14,908 --> 01:49:16,705 If I did, 1141 01:49:17,878 --> 01:49:20,870 who would ever eat here again? 1142 01:49:25,018 --> 01:49:27,350 How can I make you change your mind? 1143 01:49:30,991 --> 01:49:34,586 Do you want to make love with me? You can do what he did. 1144 01:49:38,331 --> 01:49:40,162 How can I persuade you? 1145 01:49:41,501 --> 01:49:43,833 You can't. You may have loved him... 1146 01:49:43,970 --> 01:49:46,495 You know I did, you saw me. 1147 01:49:48,141 --> 01:49:51,167 But you don't have to eat him, Georgina. 1148 01:49:51,278 --> 01:49:55,942 Do you... Do you have some idea that by eating him 1149 01:49:56,116 --> 01:49:58,550 he can become part of you? 1150 01:49:58,585 --> 01:50:02,885 You can't believe that by eating him you can always be together! 1151 01:50:04,491 --> 01:50:06,356 I'm not eating him. 1152 01:50:09,429 --> 01:50:12,330 - Albert is. - Albert? 1153 01:50:17,237 --> 01:50:19,705 There's £11,000. It's Michael's. 1154 01:50:27,314 --> 01:50:29,544 Put your money away. 1155 01:50:36,356 --> 01:50:38,517 Where is he? 1156 01:52:24,264 --> 01:52:26,425 What's going on here? 1157 01:52:26,533 --> 01:52:30,697 Why do I suddenly have to come in to my own restaurant like a stranger? 1158 01:52:30,804 --> 01:52:32,931 Special invitations. 1159 01:52:34,040 --> 01:52:37,373 Which I might say could've gone to a better printer. 1160 01:52:37,510 --> 01:52:40,172 I have to bang on the door like an outcast. 1161 01:52:42,048 --> 01:52:44,039 Well, well, well. 1162 01:52:44,150 --> 01:52:49,247 Georgina Duckles. What brings you here, you bitch? 1163 01:52:50,156 --> 01:52:53,751 I'm very surprised you show your face here, you slut. 1164 01:52:53,894 --> 01:52:57,660 Where you been, Georgina? Albert has been frantic. 1165 01:52:57,831 --> 01:53:00,391 Shut up, Grace. Find me a drink. 1166 01:53:00,533 --> 01:53:04,731 - Happy anniversary, Albert. - I'll bloody kill you for what you did! 1167 01:53:04,838 --> 01:53:08,433 - You should find that easy. - Don't think I'm taking you back. 1168 01:53:08,575 --> 01:53:10,702 I'll make you pay, you slut. 1169 01:53:10,810 --> 01:53:14,405 Your bottom's going to be very, very sore for weeks. 1170 01:53:15,548 --> 01:53:19,848 No more books for you, girl. You're staying in under lock and key. 1171 01:53:19,953 --> 01:53:24,583 There's going to be no more books or prick-sniffing for you, girl. 1172 01:53:26,126 --> 01:53:28,492 Happy anniversary, Albert. 1173 01:53:28,628 --> 01:53:32,359 What are you talking about? It's not my birthday. 1174 01:53:32,532 --> 01:53:39,096 No, but it's an anniversary that I shall always celebrate, even if you won't. And you won't. 1175 01:53:39,239 --> 01:53:43,938 - What? Where is everybody? - They'll be here presently. 1176 01:53:44,110 --> 01:53:46,738 - Look, Georgina. - What? 1177 01:53:46,947 --> 01:53:50,474 - It's all over now. - What is? 1178 01:53:50,617 --> 01:53:53,916 - Grace, just go and look out of a window. - Oh. 1179 01:53:54,054 --> 01:53:56,420 Mitchel, bugger off out of it. 1180 01:53:56,556 --> 01:53:59,650 Look, Georgina, when the others arrive... 1181 01:53:59,759 --> 01:54:02,819 Where are they? The invitation says nine o'clock. 1182 01:54:02,963 --> 01:54:06,490 - Where are they gonna sit? - They'll be here presently. 1183 01:54:06,633 --> 01:54:10,626 Look, Georgina, you didn't... didn't really like him, did you? 1184 01:54:10,737 --> 01:54:15,936 I mean, how could you like a bloody book-keeper, a nobody? 1185 01:54:17,010 --> 01:54:22,448 I tell you what. I'll try... We'll forget it, eh? 1186 01:54:22,582 --> 01:54:25,176 Eh? Come home with me. 1187 01:54:25,352 --> 01:54:29,686 Tell you the truth, Georgie, I've been a bit miserable. 1188 01:54:29,823 --> 01:54:33,919 - Since it is your anniversary... - What bloody anniversary? 1189 01:54:34,027 --> 01:54:36,052 I've brought you a present. 1190 01:54:36,162 --> 01:54:39,757 I don't need presents. It's me who gives you presents. 1191 01:54:39,833 --> 01:54:43,530 Besides, you've never had the money to give me presents. 1192 01:54:43,803 --> 01:54:46,101 And Richard has cooked it for you. 1193 01:54:47,207 --> 01:54:49,903 - Under my instructions. - Oh? 1194 01:54:50,076 --> 01:54:52,067 Knowing how you like to eat. 1195 01:54:53,179 --> 01:54:55,807 Knowing how you like to gorge yourself. 1196 01:54:57,117 --> 01:55:00,314 And we've brought a few of your friends around. 1197 01:56:06,753 --> 01:56:09,483 What sort of party is this, Georgie? 1198 01:56:11,257 --> 01:56:14,715 - What's going on? - Sit down, Albert. 1199 01:56:15,862 --> 01:56:18,057 Can't I sit down, Georgina? 1200 01:56:18,164 --> 01:56:20,564 No, this is Albert's special treat. 1201 01:56:22,735 --> 01:56:28,002 - Here, I'm not eating with that Roy there. - Shut up, Albert. 1202 01:56:30,610 --> 01:56:32,976 You're here to enjoy yourself. 1203 01:56:44,023 --> 01:56:46,014 Georgie. 1204 01:57:02,509 --> 01:57:04,739 Jesus! 1205 01:57:04,844 --> 01:57:06,311 God. 1206 01:57:10,450 --> 01:57:14,011 No, it's not God, Albert. It's Michael. 1207 01:57:15,788 --> 01:57:17,653 My lover. 1208 01:57:18,825 --> 01:57:21,851 You vowed you would kill him, and you did. 1209 01:57:23,930 --> 01:57:26,228 And you vowed you would eat him. 1210 01:57:28,001 --> 01:57:29,866 Now eat him. 1211 01:57:32,205 --> 01:57:34,332 What's the matter? 1212 01:57:34,440 --> 01:57:38,171 You have your knife and fork. You do know how to use them. 1213 01:57:38,344 --> 01:57:42,644 Or have all those carefully-learnt table manners gone to waste? 1214 01:57:53,826 --> 01:57:56,420 Mitchel can pour you a drink. 1215 01:58:03,903 --> 01:58:06,531 Your waiter has opted out. 1216 01:58:06,706 --> 01:58:08,571 Er, Grace will pour for you. 1217 01:58:09,742 --> 01:58:11,733 Oh. 1218 01:58:14,948 --> 01:58:17,246 - Non, monsieur! - Yah! 1219 01:58:35,735 --> 01:58:38,203 Eat, Albert. 1220 01:58:39,639 --> 01:58:41,937 Roy, pour Albert a drink. 1221 01:59:18,778 --> 01:59:23,374 Try the cock, Albert. It's a delicacy. 1222 01:59:24,484 --> 01:59:26,850 And you know where it's been. 1223 02:00:03,256 --> 02:00:05,315 Go on, Albert. 1224 02:00:06,426 --> 02:00:08,417 Eat. 1225 02:00:26,245 --> 02:00:28,338 Bon appetit. 1226 02:00:30,817 --> 02:00:32,876 It's French. 1227 02:01:00,079 --> 02:01:02,104 Cannibal. 1228 02:01:03,305 --> 02:02:03,154 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org