"Too Much" Nonsense & Sensibility

1 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:08,625 ♪ Oh shit! ♪ 2 00:00:08,708 --> 00:00:11,166 -♪ Oh shit! ♪ -♪ Are you ready for this? ♪ 3 00:00:11,250 --> 00:00:13,000 -♪ Oh shit! ♪ -♪ Oh… ♪ 4 00:00:14,750 --> 00:00:16,583 Dear Wendy Jones, 5 00:00:16,666 --> 00:00:19,791 the thing about my new home, London, in the country of England, 6 00:00:19,875 --> 00:00:21,791 in the Kingdom of the United, 7 00:00:21,875 --> 00:00:24,541 is that it has space for many kinds of women. 8 00:00:24,625 --> 00:00:25,708 ♪ Oh shit! ♪ 9 00:00:25,791 --> 00:00:29,625 You could be a woman with a secret you keep as locked away as your heart. 10 00:00:29,708 --> 00:00:30,708 Shh. 11 00:00:33,541 --> 00:00:35,542 You could be a strong-willed police sergeant 12 00:00:35,625 --> 00:00:38,458 who uses her trauma to solve grisly crimes. 13 00:00:38,541 --> 00:00:40,250 Come on up, Ned. 14 00:00:40,333 --> 00:00:42,791 Your tea will be nice and hot, 15 00:00:42,875 --> 00:00:45,500 but the bodies must be getting cold. 16 00:00:45,583 --> 00:00:48,583 A tuppence for a game of nug-a-nug. 17 00:00:48,666 --> 00:00:49,875 Gentlemen! 18 00:00:49,958 --> 00:00:53,541 I've got the moistest hot cross buns in London Town. 19 00:00:53,625 --> 00:00:55,750 You could be a sex worker with a heart of gold 20 00:00:55,833 --> 00:00:58,000 who's murdered simply for trying to survive. 21 00:01:01,333 --> 00:01:04,208 So, what's on the itinerary, my loves? 22 00:01:04,291 --> 00:01:06,166 Or you could be a carefree party girl 23 00:01:06,250 --> 00:01:08,416 with her whole life ahead of her. 24 00:01:08,916 --> 00:01:11,083 -Thank you. -Have you booked an Uber? 25 00:01:11,166 --> 00:01:14,416 -I thought you booked the Uber! -No, I told you to book it. 26 00:01:14,500 --> 00:01:15,958 Come on. Get out of here. 27 00:01:16,041 --> 00:01:18,208 But I am none of these women. 28 00:01:18,875 --> 00:01:22,791 Nope, I am just a woman who stares at you online, Wendy Jones. 29 00:01:22,875 --> 00:01:26,166 Should we look at Wendy's Instagram? 30 00:01:26,250 --> 00:01:28,166 All day and all night. 31 00:01:30,000 --> 00:01:36,074 32 00:01:37,333 --> 00:01:39,791 Hey, baby. Can you come here for a second? 33 00:01:41,291 --> 00:01:43,250 Oh, fuck! 34 00:01:43,333 --> 00:01:45,125 Oh my God! 35 00:01:47,958 --> 00:01:49,791 We're getting married! 36 00:01:51,625 --> 00:01:54,333 -Oh my God, we're getting married! -No! Oh my God. 37 00:01:54,416 --> 00:01:57,791 Stupid fuck! Oh my God, this is bullshit! 38 00:01:57,875 --> 00:01:59,208 Oh fuck! 39 00:02:09,291 --> 00:02:12,166 You don't have to wait to see if I get inside safe. 40 00:02:12,250 --> 00:02:14,708 I'm very not drunk. I've had like one alcohol. 41 00:02:14,791 --> 00:02:15,791 Uh-huh. 42 00:02:16,625 --> 00:02:19,166 Go ahead. Get outta here. 43 00:02:21,375 --> 00:02:22,833 I just wanted to say hi. 44 00:02:22,916 --> 00:02:26,375 Hello. Just stoppin' by. I mean, I have the key, so here comes. 45 00:02:26,458 --> 00:02:29,333 Comin' to get some… Maybe I left something here. 46 00:02:31,708 --> 00:02:34,541 Fuck! 47 00:02:35,833 --> 00:02:38,208 I'm not the kind of girl you change the locks on. 48 00:02:39,291 --> 00:02:42,875 I'm not the kind of girl you change the locks on, fucker, bitch, whore. 49 00:02:43,791 --> 00:02:45,916 I'm goin' back for my girl. 50 00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:48,625 Let's go. 51 00:02:48,708 --> 00:02:50,666 You're such a dick. Here I go, okay. 52 00:02:59,041 --> 00:03:01,000 That's much better. 53 00:03:25,916 --> 00:03:28,125 Home invasion! Home invasion! 54 00:03:29,333 --> 00:03:31,208 -Jess? -Hi. How are ya? 55 00:03:31,291 --> 00:03:32,583 What the fuck? 56 00:03:32,666 --> 00:03:35,375 Wendy. Wendy, baby, wake up. 57 00:03:35,458 --> 00:03:38,875 And there you were, Wendy Jones. 58 00:03:38,958 --> 00:03:40,625 Brooklyn was yours now. 59 00:03:40,708 --> 00:03:42,833 And so was the love of my life. 60 00:03:43,791 --> 00:03:46,916 -Jessica? -Yeah, it sure as hell is me. 61 00:03:47,000 --> 00:03:48,041 I'm Jessica. Hi. 62 00:03:48,125 --> 00:03:51,875 -Wow, this is really surreal. -Oh, is it so surreal? 63 00:03:51,958 --> 00:03:53,625 What the fuck are you doing here? 64 00:03:53,708 --> 00:03:55,625 Hi, fucker! How 'bout that? 65 00:03:55,708 --> 00:03:58,083 -Girl, are you good? -No, I'm actually not. 66 00:03:58,166 --> 00:04:00,041 And guess what? You're a fucking bitch. 67 00:04:00,125 --> 00:04:03,208 Wow, you just woke me up and called me a bitch? Okay. 68 00:04:03,791 --> 00:04:06,500 Jessica… I've dealt with this before, all right? 69 00:04:06,583 --> 00:04:09,041 Like, I want to hold space for how you're feeling, 70 00:04:09,125 --> 00:04:13,458 and I understand that things might not be perfect right now for you, 71 00:04:13,541 --> 00:04:16,375 but you just broke into our home, and it's giving crazy. 72 00:04:16,458 --> 00:04:18,750 It's giving psychotic. Okay? 73 00:04:18,833 --> 00:04:21,333 Are you crying? 74 00:04:21,416 --> 00:04:24,291 No. No, I'm not. No, I just… I don't know. 75 00:04:24,375 --> 00:04:28,416 Nothing like this has happened before. You know? Just, nothing this violent. 76 00:04:28,500 --> 00:04:31,041 Well, I mean, it's not violent. Yet. 77 00:04:31,125 --> 00:04:34,125 "Yet"? Are you gonna punch me until I'm bleeding out on the floor? 78 00:04:34,208 --> 00:04:35,500 Can't we just work this out? 79 00:04:35,583 --> 00:04:38,166 -Have a Xanax. We can chill. -Yeah, we can work it out. Sure. 80 00:04:38,250 --> 00:04:40,666 Let's all sit down with a cup of tea and work it out. 81 00:04:40,750 --> 00:04:43,250 And you, Zev Jeremiah Goldstein, 82 00:04:43,333 --> 00:04:46,958 need to sit down and write on a piece of paper 83 00:04:47,041 --> 00:04:50,875 that leaving me is the worst thing that anyone's ever done! 84 00:04:50,958 --> 00:04:52,958 -Okay. -You write that out, fucker! 85 00:04:53,041 --> 00:04:54,708 You write that out in blood, bastard! 86 00:04:54,791 --> 00:04:57,041 Okay. If you don't leave in the next five seconds, 87 00:04:57,125 --> 00:04:58,291 we're gonna call the police. 88 00:04:58,375 --> 00:04:59,875 Okay? Get the fuck out! 89 00:04:59,958 --> 00:05:01,291 I'm not walking at you. 90 00:05:01,375 --> 00:05:04,666 I'm walking past you, little shorts! Now, I'll give you to the count of five. 91 00:05:04,750 --> 00:05:07,666 -Five, four, thre… -Five, four, three, two, one! 92 00:05:07,750 --> 00:05:09,666 ♪ Whoa! ♪ 93 00:05:09,750 --> 00:05:10,583 ♪ Killer… ♪ 94 00:05:10,666 --> 00:05:13,041 Stupid fucking lamp! Get fucked! 95 00:05:15,625 --> 00:05:16,625 ♪ Bring it ♪ 96 00:05:20,041 --> 00:05:21,041 ♪ Yeah! ♪ 97 00:05:25,708 --> 00:05:28,708 I may have taken a gnome to your door, Wendy, 98 00:05:28,791 --> 00:05:30,625 but you took an axe to my life! 99 00:05:30,708 --> 00:05:32,708 ♪ Jim Jones ♪ 100 00:05:35,625 --> 00:05:37,708 You stole what was mine and forced me to move 101 00:05:37,791 --> 00:05:41,416 into an intergenerational Grey Gardens hell of single women 102 00:05:41,500 --> 00:05:43,083 and one hairless dog. 103 00:05:43,166 --> 00:05:46,208 Nora, please. The nails. 104 00:05:46,291 --> 00:05:47,333 The sound is horrible. 105 00:05:47,416 --> 00:05:50,166 The problem is my nails? What about mom's throat sound? 106 00:05:50,250 --> 00:05:52,541 What are you doing? 107 00:05:52,625 --> 00:05:56,333 Well, The New York Times says that small motions, 108 00:05:56,416 --> 00:05:58,708 see, these small motions I'm doing right here, 109 00:05:58,791 --> 00:06:01,500 they can extend your life by up to 15 years. 110 00:06:01,583 --> 00:06:03,541 I really encourage you to try. 111 00:06:04,125 --> 00:06:06,708 Alan Rickman is so fucking hot. 112 00:06:06,791 --> 00:06:09,750 It's one of those faces you look at first, and you're like, "Hmm." 113 00:06:09,833 --> 00:06:13,041 And then you look for longer, and you're like, "You could 'get it."' 114 00:06:13,125 --> 00:06:16,833 I want to take him out back and then have him put it in my front. 115 00:06:16,916 --> 00:06:19,916 Yeah, I really encourage you to try the small motions. 116 00:06:20,000 --> 00:06:22,041 Mom, this is very, very shaming. 117 00:06:22,125 --> 00:06:23,958 Shaming? Shaming? 118 00:06:24,041 --> 00:06:25,791 By suggesting I would like my daughter 119 00:06:25,875 --> 00:06:28,458 to walk this earth with me for a little while longer? 120 00:06:28,541 --> 00:06:31,541 I could be the Dalai Lama, and you would still find fault with me. 121 00:06:31,625 --> 00:06:33,791 If I hadn't married a goy, 122 00:06:33,875 --> 00:06:36,125 your mother wouldn't have married a goy, 123 00:06:36,208 --> 00:06:38,416 and your sister wouldn't have married a goy, 124 00:06:38,500 --> 00:06:42,583 and you wouldn't love all these boring goyishe pictures. 125 00:06:43,875 --> 00:06:49,416 The thing about a Christian man is they always end up at the corner bar. 126 00:06:49,500 --> 00:06:52,666 That's the reason you're all single and living in my house. 127 00:06:52,750 --> 00:06:55,500 My Christian man did not end up at the corner bar. 128 00:06:55,583 --> 00:06:57,916 He ended up in Bushwick, doing therapeutic ketamine 129 00:06:58,000 --> 00:07:00,166 and experimenting with pansexuality. It's different. 130 00:07:00,250 --> 00:07:04,250 Just remember that I was with a Jew, and he still dumped me like I was on fire. 131 00:07:04,333 --> 00:07:08,125 -Oh, but Zev is so funny. -No, he's not. 132 00:07:08,208 --> 00:07:11,416 If you spruced yourself up a little, you could make it with him again. 133 00:07:11,500 --> 00:07:14,166 Why don't you hook up with him? Why don't you suck him off? 134 00:07:14,250 --> 00:07:16,083 -See if you can get him to cum. -Any day! 135 00:07:16,166 --> 00:07:17,625 -Ew! -So erotic. 136 00:07:17,708 --> 00:07:19,791 He has this erotic smell. 137 00:07:19,875 --> 00:07:22,625 It could come right up the stairs. I always knew. 138 00:07:22,708 --> 00:07:23,958 You know what? Accept it. 139 00:07:24,041 --> 00:07:26,541 Grandma's gonna hook up with your ex-boyfriend. Not a big deal. 140 00:07:26,625 --> 00:07:29,750 He's living with another woman right now, and she is a model. 141 00:07:29,833 --> 00:07:33,250 I'm 13. I'm not expected to have any plans on a Friday night. 142 00:07:33,333 --> 00:07:35,375 But you're all a tragic lineup, don't you think? 143 00:07:35,458 --> 00:07:38,333 Ah, well, don't look at me. All my friends are dead. 144 00:07:38,416 --> 00:07:40,750 We're having a girls' night. What is wrong with you? 145 00:07:41,708 --> 00:07:43,833 -Just get the drink. -Buh-bye. 146 00:07:44,333 --> 00:07:46,833 -See you in hell. -Put vodka in there. 147 00:07:46,916 --> 00:07:48,125 "See you in hell"? 148 00:07:48,208 --> 00:07:51,250 How dare you? I'm your fucking mother. 149 00:07:51,333 --> 00:07:52,916 He is so much like his father. 150 00:07:53,000 --> 00:07:55,958 -Honestly, you have to rein him in. -Ugh. 151 00:07:56,041 --> 00:07:57,458 Know what I love about this movie? 152 00:07:57,541 --> 00:08:02,125 Emma Thompson met her real-life husband of 35 years on this film. 153 00:08:02,208 --> 00:08:03,375 Yes, Greg Wise. 154 00:08:03,458 --> 00:08:05,333 -He is so handsome. -So handsome. 155 00:08:05,416 --> 00:08:07,708 My only consolation? 156 00:08:07,791 --> 00:08:10,375 Love stories set in pastoral England. 157 00:08:11,083 --> 00:08:13,250 The romance. The honor. 158 00:08:13,333 --> 00:08:16,875 I mean, nobody's fucking an influencer in the works of Jane Austen. 159 00:08:18,791 --> 00:08:21,291 Sorry. Sorry. 160 00:08:21,375 --> 00:08:22,958 Hi, I'm Jessica Alba. 161 00:08:23,041 --> 00:08:26,291 And I'm talking to you, the mom waiting in the carpool lane. 162 00:08:26,375 --> 00:08:28,875 Can we… Can we cut? 163 00:08:28,958 --> 00:08:30,333 Do you have a hair in your eye? 164 00:08:30,416 --> 00:08:33,125 No, it's just that this isn't the script I approved. 165 00:08:33,208 --> 00:08:35,958 -Uh-huh. -It's… It's… 166 00:08:36,041 --> 00:08:38,166 I… I don't know what to say. 167 00:08:38,250 --> 00:08:41,666 Like, you have me talking to everyone like they're 1950s housewives. 168 00:08:41,750 --> 00:08:44,333 No, so we had to do some punch-ups to the script 169 00:08:44,416 --> 00:08:47,291 because it was just starting to feel a little bit harsh. 170 00:08:47,375 --> 00:08:49,458 -Wait, you did punch-ups? -We get it, you know? 171 00:08:49,541 --> 00:08:51,458 You have kids, you have jobs. 172 00:08:51,541 --> 00:08:54,000 It's really hard for you, but also really depressing. 173 00:08:54,083 --> 00:08:57,833 Why don't we get hair and makeup in so we can get the bangs off of her face? 174 00:08:57,916 --> 00:08:59,083 I don't have bangs. 175 00:08:59,625 --> 00:09:00,625 No bangs. 176 00:09:01,250 --> 00:09:04,458 I think that she's more concerned about the script than the look. 177 00:09:04,541 --> 00:09:07,208 And you made a lot of changes she wasn't able to see until now. 178 00:09:07,291 --> 00:09:08,625 Wow. 179 00:09:08,708 --> 00:09:11,375 I'm gonna go talk to the client about the script. 180 00:09:11,458 --> 00:09:12,916 Uh, I'm the client. 181 00:09:13,000 --> 00:09:17,083 -This is my business. I'm the boss. -I'm so sorry about him. 182 00:09:17,625 --> 00:09:18,916 What a freaking nerd. 183 00:09:19,000 --> 00:09:22,958 I am so over these under prepared Jeffs. 184 00:09:23,041 --> 00:09:24,416 How do they get hired? 185 00:09:24,500 --> 00:09:26,500 For what it's worth, I know you don't have bangs. 186 00:09:26,583 --> 00:09:28,875 -You have long layers, obviously. -Yeah, obviously. 187 00:09:28,958 --> 00:09:30,708 -You created this amazing company. -Thanks. 188 00:09:30,791 --> 00:09:33,500 I love Dark Angel. It was a really influential show for me. 189 00:09:33,583 --> 00:09:35,708 I wanted to be a bike messenger after watching. 190 00:09:35,791 --> 00:09:38,458 Really? Listen, okay, so I have kind of a wild idea. 191 00:09:38,541 --> 00:09:43,000 What if we get Jeff to go take, I don't know, a permanent nap? 192 00:09:43,083 --> 00:09:47,208 And you and I can do this together. 193 00:09:47,291 --> 00:09:49,916 -You know, shoot it in a few hours. -Um… 194 00:09:50,000 --> 00:09:52,416 -You and I do it? You and I shoot it? -You and I. Yes! 195 00:09:52,500 --> 00:09:55,250 Um, I don't think you want me. I'm not very capable. 196 00:09:55,333 --> 00:09:56,708 Uh, yes, you are. 197 00:09:56,791 --> 00:10:01,625 Listen, there's nothing that that man knows that you don't. 198 00:10:01,708 --> 00:10:04,250 You are way more capable than him, trust me. 199 00:10:04,333 --> 00:10:05,333 Wait. 200 00:10:06,125 --> 00:10:07,541 Wait, where are you going? 201 00:10:08,291 --> 00:10:10,916 I'm gonna go to the bathroom, Jessica Alba. 202 00:10:11,000 --> 00:10:12,291 Why? Hey! 203 00:10:12,375 --> 00:10:13,958 Well, hurry back, okay? 204 00:10:14,041 --> 00:10:16,041 Because he's… A bed? 205 00:10:16,125 --> 00:10:18,583 -Everything is fine, so chill out! -No. 206 00:10:18,666 --> 00:10:21,125 No, it's not, because I found you staring into space, 207 00:10:21,208 --> 00:10:24,583 gnawing on a Danish and trying to pull out your hair. 208 00:10:24,666 --> 00:10:25,541 It's under control. 209 00:10:25,625 --> 00:10:26,708 -No, it's not. -Yeah, it is. 210 00:10:26,791 --> 00:10:30,500 Jessica Alba said you ran out of there and left her to be tucked into some bed 211 00:10:30,583 --> 00:10:32,083 like an orphan in a horror film. 212 00:10:32,166 --> 00:10:33,875 She just asked you to hold it down. 213 00:10:33,958 --> 00:10:35,875 Okay, well, have the AD do it. 214 00:10:35,958 --> 00:10:38,083 -He's a people person. He'll love that. -He's not. 215 00:10:38,166 --> 00:10:41,083 He's an ass-grabber who somehow snuck by Me Too. 216 00:10:45,166 --> 00:10:46,541 You know… 217 00:10:46,625 --> 00:10:50,291 People ask me what it's like to work with my sister-in-law. 218 00:10:50,375 --> 00:10:51,375 Ex-sister-in-law. 219 00:10:51,458 --> 00:10:53,458 I have to remind you that you left my sister 220 00:10:53,541 --> 00:10:56,458 to explore non-monogamy with a couple who are both named Cody. 221 00:10:56,541 --> 00:10:59,625 I will tell whoever listens to me that we've never had an issue 222 00:10:59,708 --> 00:11:03,625 working together because you slay for me every time. 223 00:11:03,708 --> 00:11:06,541 But something has shifted with you. 224 00:11:07,541 --> 00:11:11,958 You had so much passion and drive and energy when I met you. 225 00:11:12,041 --> 00:11:13,375 You had sparkle. 226 00:11:14,000 --> 00:11:15,458 And now… 227 00:11:15,958 --> 00:11:17,583 I don't know, now… 228 00:11:18,291 --> 00:11:19,458 …you're matte. 229 00:11:20,416 --> 00:11:21,333 Pfft. 230 00:11:21,416 --> 00:11:22,708 You're just matte. 231 00:11:22,791 --> 00:11:26,333 You've been busy with the Codys, but I've had a terrible year. 232 00:11:26,958 --> 00:11:29,833 Not only was I left by the man that I thought I would die with, 233 00:11:29,916 --> 00:11:30,916 so was my sister. 234 00:11:31,000 --> 00:11:32,250 We moved in with my mother, 235 00:11:32,333 --> 00:11:36,541 who lost her house because she's spending too much money on Sweaty Betty apparel. 236 00:11:36,625 --> 00:11:39,291 I used to think I was gonna be this great director. 237 00:11:39,375 --> 00:11:41,291 Say something about the female experience. 238 00:11:41,375 --> 00:11:43,375 You know, I wanted to say something. 239 00:11:43,458 --> 00:11:45,291 And then, I had to revise that dream. 240 00:11:45,375 --> 00:11:49,750 And now, I've been working for people for 15 fucking years 241 00:11:49,833 --> 00:11:51,500 that wouldn't care if I died! 242 00:11:51,583 --> 00:11:54,500 If you took a gun and were shooting me in the throat, 243 00:11:54,583 --> 00:11:58,125 and I was laid out on the floor bleeding, they would have me replaced by lunch. 244 00:11:58,208 --> 00:12:00,708 No, no, no. No, no, no. No guns, no shooting. 245 00:12:00,791 --> 00:12:03,208 You're fine. You're fine. 246 00:12:04,041 --> 00:12:05,375 But I get it. 247 00:12:05,458 --> 00:12:06,875 You're unhappy. 248 00:12:06,958 --> 00:12:08,375 Okay, listen. 249 00:12:08,458 --> 00:12:11,500 We are merging with Ratigan and Vine in London. 250 00:12:11,583 --> 00:12:12,416 Congratulations. 251 00:12:12,500 --> 00:12:17,291 And they have asked about finding a super strong producer 252 00:12:17,375 --> 00:12:19,541 for this… this big Christmas ad. 253 00:12:19,625 --> 00:12:21,583 And I want to put you up for it. 254 00:12:22,791 --> 00:12:26,541 I think this might revive the Jess that I knew. 255 00:12:27,541 --> 00:12:28,750 At the very least, 256 00:12:28,833 --> 00:12:33,000 you won't tell my soon-to-be ex-wife when I show up with a forehead hickey. 257 00:12:35,208 --> 00:12:36,625 You want me to go to London? 258 00:12:36,708 --> 00:12:42,125 You love movies where women fan themselves and die of tuberculosis and shit. 259 00:12:42,208 --> 00:12:45,291 You saw Spice World nine times in the theater. 260 00:12:45,375 --> 00:12:48,541 No, I can't. I can't leave this city, this beautiful city. 261 00:12:48,625 --> 00:12:51,125 I can't leave New York. I am New York, baby. 262 00:12:51,208 --> 00:12:52,375 Look at me. 263 00:12:52,458 --> 00:12:54,708 I… I have a lot. I have… I have to… 264 00:12:54,791 --> 00:12:55,791 I have… 265 00:12:58,625 --> 00:12:59,708 What, babe? 266 00:13:00,708 --> 00:13:01,875 What do you have? 267 00:13:05,541 --> 00:13:08,625 I don't understand. 268 00:13:08,708 --> 00:13:11,666 And then I realized I could do it. 269 00:13:11,750 --> 00:13:14,000 I could go and change my life. 270 00:13:14,083 --> 00:13:16,375 You don't own me, Wendy Jones. 271 00:13:17,000 --> 00:13:18,875 There's the baby. 272 00:13:18,958 --> 00:13:20,625 -We'll miss you, Astrid. -Hi. 273 00:13:20,708 --> 00:13:25,041 You know, I think it took me a long time before I realized 274 00:13:25,125 --> 00:13:27,208 that I wasn't fully mothered. 275 00:13:27,291 --> 00:13:28,166 Mm. 276 00:13:28,250 --> 00:13:32,208 And part of it was postwar attitudes towards maternal obligation. 277 00:13:32,291 --> 00:13:36,333 But some of it is just her bad personality. 278 00:13:36,416 --> 00:13:40,750 So I want you to know that no matter how old you get, 279 00:13:40,833 --> 00:13:42,458 and you will, 280 00:13:42,541 --> 00:13:45,333 I will mother you. 281 00:13:46,416 --> 00:13:49,333 I will mother you harder than you can take. 282 00:13:49,416 --> 00:13:51,875 Okay, ouch. Sounds violent, Mom. 283 00:13:51,958 --> 00:13:53,875 Well, hopefully not. 284 00:13:53,958 --> 00:13:58,125 If this is going on and on, I'm going back inside. 285 00:13:58,208 --> 00:13:59,500 Okay, I'll miss you. 286 00:13:59,583 --> 00:14:00,750 I love you, Grandma. 287 00:14:00,833 --> 00:14:04,583 It's very possible I won't see you again in this lifetime. 288 00:14:04,666 --> 00:14:07,000 -God. -So give me a kiss on the lips. 289 00:14:08,208 --> 00:14:10,166 Only kidding! 290 00:14:10,250 --> 00:14:12,000 Embarrassing when someone leans in. 291 00:14:12,083 --> 00:14:15,750 Remember to tickle all the guards at Buckingham Palace. 292 00:14:15,833 --> 00:14:18,583 If anyone can make them smile, it's you. 293 00:14:18,666 --> 00:14:20,666 You've got a lot of spirit. 294 00:14:21,750 --> 00:14:24,125 No waist, but a lot of spirit. 295 00:14:24,208 --> 00:14:26,541 Okay, get her in the house. Hi. 296 00:14:26,625 --> 00:14:30,416 Americans think British people are snotty and pretentious but smart. 297 00:14:30,500 --> 00:14:33,291 British think Americans are stupid and vulgar but funny. 298 00:14:33,375 --> 00:14:36,250 If you remember that, you should be fine. Later. 299 00:14:36,333 --> 00:14:37,583 Where'd he get that hat? 300 00:14:37,666 --> 00:14:40,583 Miss you. I'll kiss you on the lips, okay? 301 00:14:40,666 --> 00:14:42,791 -Oh, my baby. -I'll miss you guys. 302 00:14:42,875 --> 00:14:44,166 I love you. 303 00:14:44,250 --> 00:14:46,666 Call me right when you get there. Don't forget. 304 00:14:47,416 --> 00:14:49,791 Like, how did we survive up until this point? 305 00:14:49,875 --> 00:14:52,458 -I don't know. -Oh, wait, we didn't. 306 00:14:52,541 --> 00:14:56,291 -They are so crazy. -I can't believe that you're doing this. 307 00:14:56,375 --> 00:14:58,375 You were the kid who threw up on sleepovers 308 00:14:58,458 --> 00:15:00,041 and had to go home by 7:30 p.m. 309 00:15:00,125 --> 00:15:01,583 I guess I'm all grown up. 310 00:15:01,666 --> 00:15:04,083 I want you to promise me, this is important, 311 00:15:04,166 --> 00:15:06,541 you won't kiss anyone missing more than two teeth. 312 00:15:06,625 --> 00:15:09,250 If they are missing teeth, in the back, not the front. 313 00:15:09,333 --> 00:15:10,916 But let them go down on me? 314 00:15:11,000 --> 00:15:14,083 Yeah. Of course. That's gonna be an interesting gummy sensation. 315 00:15:14,166 --> 00:15:16,083 Ew, I don't want that. 316 00:15:16,791 --> 00:15:18,458 Then just remember, okay? 317 00:15:21,458 --> 00:15:23,875 You're my best thing. 318 00:15:24,958 --> 00:15:27,500 I'm going to London. You might not recognize me. 319 00:15:27,583 --> 00:15:30,083 I had bangs in the last picture, but it is she! 320 00:15:31,208 --> 00:15:32,958 -High five? Yeah! -Aww. 321 00:15:33,916 --> 00:15:35,416 Wish I was one of your daughters. 322 00:15:35,500 --> 00:15:38,666 Cheers. They're not all mine. Just some of them. 323 00:15:38,750 --> 00:15:40,500 Do you guys know him? Are you okay? 324 00:15:40,583 --> 00:15:43,583 No, three are my nieces. We just went to Florida. 325 00:15:43,666 --> 00:15:45,541 Okay, and that clears your name. 326 00:15:45,625 --> 00:15:49,583 Patient to others, kind to yourself, open to new experiences, closed to pain. 327 00:15:49,666 --> 00:15:52,416 Patient to others, kind to yourself, open to new experiences… 328 00:15:52,500 --> 00:15:53,500 Yes, I know exactly. 329 00:16:02,625 --> 00:16:03,791 Is that a dog? 330 00:16:04,958 --> 00:16:05,958 Yes. 331 00:16:08,125 --> 00:16:09,875 Oh, a phone booth. 332 00:16:09,958 --> 00:16:11,750 -What's that? -So funny. 333 00:16:11,833 --> 00:16:14,875 Those phone booths are so funny. Probably people don't use them, right? 334 00:16:20,375 --> 00:16:23,708 Oh my God, that's Buckingham Palace. 335 00:16:25,125 --> 00:16:26,166 Look! 336 00:16:29,250 --> 00:16:30,958 Wow! 337 00:16:34,291 --> 00:16:37,125 Letting me go? Thank you. Thank you. 338 00:16:37,875 --> 00:16:40,458 There you go. It's just here on the left. 339 00:16:40,541 --> 00:16:42,500 Oh no, I think we missed it. 340 00:16:42,583 --> 00:16:44,541 I'm looking for Hoxton Grove Estate. 341 00:16:44,625 --> 00:16:48,125 You know, estate grounds, verdant gardens, archways, 342 00:16:48,208 --> 00:16:51,041 some real Merchant Ivory-type shit. 343 00:16:51,541 --> 00:16:53,041 I think it's back there. 344 00:16:53,125 --> 00:16:55,291 Good luck with that, love. 345 00:16:55,375 --> 00:16:57,041 I just… I don't think this is it. 346 00:16:57,125 --> 00:16:59,750 -It is, I'm telling you. -No. 347 00:16:59,833 --> 00:17:02,291 That's, uh, £98.75, please. 348 00:17:02,375 --> 00:17:04,583 Welcome to London. 349 00:17:11,166 --> 00:17:12,750 Last trip, Mama. 350 00:17:14,166 --> 00:17:16,458 When are they coming to fix the dryer? 351 00:17:16,541 --> 00:17:18,000 My sheets are damp. 352 00:17:18,083 --> 00:17:20,416 Nothing you're not used to. 353 00:17:20,500 --> 00:17:22,583 Excuse me, I told you not to talk about that. 354 00:17:22,666 --> 00:17:24,291 Oh! Ooh! 355 00:17:24,375 --> 00:17:26,583 Oh, guys, I'm sick of this life. 356 00:17:35,708 --> 00:17:38,000 Hello, traveler. 357 00:17:38,083 --> 00:17:40,083 Sorry, I'm Gaz. 358 00:17:40,166 --> 00:17:41,666 I live here in the building. 359 00:17:41,750 --> 00:17:44,041 Uh, I've been put in charge of your stay 360 00:17:44,125 --> 00:17:47,041 while your hosts Bob and Shirley enjoy their autumn in Marbella. 361 00:17:47,125 --> 00:17:48,041 That's the life. 362 00:17:48,125 --> 00:17:50,000 Who are you? 363 00:17:50,083 --> 00:17:52,541 Little creature, hi. Nice to meet you. 364 00:17:52,625 --> 00:17:54,916 -I sure hope you're sweet. -She's not. 365 00:17:55,000 --> 00:17:57,583 Only because I lost my leg. Nearly lost my leg. 366 00:17:57,666 --> 00:18:00,666 To a bull terrier, just… just down there. 367 00:18:01,208 --> 00:18:02,541 Yeah, we had to put her down. 368 00:18:02,625 --> 00:18:04,083 How did you… Never mind. 369 00:18:04,166 --> 00:18:07,208 I'll get the door. It's just a little bit of a knack to it. 370 00:18:08,666 --> 00:18:10,291 All right, welcome in. 371 00:18:12,041 --> 00:18:13,041 Oh. 372 00:18:13,833 --> 00:18:14,875 It said "estate." 373 00:18:14,958 --> 00:18:19,166 And I just had a different picture in my head. 374 00:18:19,250 --> 00:18:22,000 I swore I saw crown molding in the description. 375 00:18:22,083 --> 00:18:22,916 Yep. 376 00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:25,541 But, you know, that's just a stain. 377 00:18:25,625 --> 00:18:29,666 Er… that, actually, I believe, is a champagne, uh, stain. 378 00:18:29,750 --> 00:18:31,875 I mean, I… I'm being so silly. 379 00:18:31,958 --> 00:18:33,208 It's just temporary, right? 380 00:18:33,291 --> 00:18:35,291 Three months. I'm not going to be home a lot. 381 00:18:35,375 --> 00:18:37,458 I'm gonna be at amazing parties or something. 382 00:18:37,541 --> 00:18:38,750 Yeah. 383 00:18:38,833 --> 00:18:41,875 Type it in. That's a really nice photo of you. 384 00:18:42,666 --> 00:18:44,916 That's the woman from Murder, She Wrote. 385 00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:46,000 Really? 386 00:18:46,625 --> 00:18:49,041 -Okay. -Okay, do you have the keys? 387 00:18:49,125 --> 00:18:51,916 So, nothing was really inspiring me in my closet. 388 00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:55,500 And I just, like, got this new knitting machine. 389 00:18:55,583 --> 00:18:56,958 And it's just incredible. 390 00:18:57,041 --> 00:18:59,791 I can make these kind of tube styles really easy. 391 00:18:59,875 --> 00:19:02,333 Oh, you made your own outfit? 392 00:19:02,416 --> 00:19:05,041 Oh, you can't go to a store and buy an outfit? 393 00:19:06,208 --> 00:19:09,833 Tell me if you think it's crazy cute or crazy crazy. 394 00:19:13,750 --> 00:19:14,875 You bell end! 395 00:19:14,958 --> 00:19:17,083 You absolute cunt! 396 00:19:17,166 --> 00:19:19,375 You fucking cunt! 397 00:19:19,458 --> 00:19:22,166 -Oh my God, I'm in hell. -Whore! 398 00:19:22,250 --> 00:19:23,083 Cunt! 399 00:19:23,166 --> 00:19:25,375 Hey, baby, can you come here for a second? 400 00:19:25,458 --> 00:19:27,583 Oh fuck! 401 00:19:27,666 --> 00:19:29,666 Oh my God! 402 00:19:31,791 --> 00:19:33,291 We're getting married! 403 00:19:36,500 --> 00:19:39,958 No. Oh my God, you stupid fuck! 404 00:19:40,041 --> 00:19:42,166 No, Wendy, no. 405 00:19:42,250 --> 00:19:44,125 No, okay? 406 00:19:44,208 --> 00:19:47,708 I came here to release you, not to replay you again and again. 407 00:19:47,791 --> 00:19:50,541 So I'll put on my dress, and I'll handle my hair, 408 00:19:50,625 --> 00:19:53,458 and I'll go to a random bar… sorry, pub, 409 00:19:53,541 --> 00:19:56,333 and I'll let life have its way with me. 410 00:19:56,416 --> 00:20:00,083 Or, you know, um, maybe I'll have my way with it, 411 00:20:00,166 --> 00:20:01,291 with my life. 412 00:20:01,375 --> 00:20:05,750 I'll just, uh, get over there and have my way with my life. 413 00:20:05,833 --> 00:20:08,500 There you go. That makes sense. 414 00:20:27,250 --> 00:20:28,250 Where are you from…? 415 00:20:29,625 --> 00:20:30,666 Where are you from? 416 00:20:30,750 --> 00:20:36,083 Gentlemen that can't get it up and women that fart in their sleep, 417 00:20:36,166 --> 00:20:40,833 welcome to the 100th millionth installment of Easy Come, 418 00:20:40,916 --> 00:20:44,416 where we bring you the best musicians live and direct. 419 00:20:44,500 --> 00:20:46,916 And we're lucky to have with us one of our regulars. 420 00:20:47,000 --> 00:20:50,833 He's the king of excess, a crystalline raindrop of a boy. 421 00:20:50,916 --> 00:20:53,291 Along with whatever form his band takes tonight, 422 00:20:53,375 --> 00:20:56,541 I give you Felix and the Feelers. 423 00:20:58,583 --> 00:21:01,000 Yeah, thanks, Jonah. Here we go. 424 00:21:17,666 --> 00:21:19,666 ♪ I'd rather ♪ 425 00:21:22,125 --> 00:21:24,791 ♪ Lie here in Venus's lap ♪ 426 00:21:25,291 --> 00:21:26,916 ♪ Like a pearl ♪ 427 00:21:29,875 --> 00:21:32,916 ♪ Where Mars is red and mad ♪ 428 00:21:34,500 --> 00:21:37,208 ♪ Waging war like a game ♪ 429 00:21:37,833 --> 00:21:40,750 ♪ I'm bursting into flames ♪ 430 00:21:42,250 --> 00:21:44,125 ♪ Give me that honey ♪ 431 00:21:46,166 --> 00:21:48,041 ♪ I just want honey ♪ 432 00:21:50,458 --> 00:21:54,291 ♪ It's always the girls It's always the girls ♪ 433 00:21:58,125 --> 00:22:02,791 ♪ It's always the girls It's always the girls ♪ 434 00:22:12,916 --> 00:22:13,916 Oh my God. 435 00:22:23,666 --> 00:22:26,375 Fucking hell. Who's done that? 436 00:22:27,041 --> 00:22:28,166 Fuck's sake. 437 00:22:31,875 --> 00:22:34,375 Yo, sorry, have you got any bog roll in there? 438 00:22:34,458 --> 00:22:35,458 Oh hi. 439 00:22:36,000 --> 00:22:38,500 Hi, sorry, I'm not taking a shit or anything. It's just… 440 00:22:38,583 --> 00:22:40,583 A total fucking carnage situation in here. 441 00:22:40,666 --> 00:22:42,083 Sorry, are you talking to me? 442 00:22:42,750 --> 00:22:45,125 -Uh, yep. Can you see my hand? -Yeah. 443 00:22:45,208 --> 00:22:47,166 -Have you got any bog roll in there? -Oh. 444 00:22:47,250 --> 00:22:49,916 What do you call it? Toilet… Yeah, thank you. 445 00:22:51,250 --> 00:22:52,083 Okay. 446 00:22:52,166 --> 00:22:54,291 Yeah, I don't want someone to think it was me, 447 00:22:54,375 --> 00:22:55,500 do you know what I mean? 448 00:22:56,333 --> 00:22:57,500 Fuck me. 449 00:23:00,333 --> 00:23:02,666 I've actually done a good job of that in the end. 450 00:23:04,875 --> 00:23:07,083 Oh, you sing. You're the singing guy. 451 00:23:07,166 --> 00:23:10,125 -Oh yeah, yeah. -It was really nice. 452 00:23:10,208 --> 00:23:12,166 Thanks, yeah. Bit of a weird song, that one. 453 00:23:12,250 --> 00:23:13,916 I think the sinks are broken. 454 00:23:14,000 --> 00:23:16,166 You can still use the soap. Just rub it in. 455 00:23:16,250 --> 00:23:18,958 No, you can't. You have to rinse off the soap. 456 00:23:19,041 --> 00:23:20,958 Otherwise, you have germs and soap on your hands. 457 00:23:21,041 --> 00:23:22,791 Plus, you'll be really sticky. 458 00:23:22,875 --> 00:23:23,875 Feel that? 459 00:23:24,500 --> 00:23:27,583 -Yeah, you're really sticky. -Won't be in ten minutes, though. 460 00:23:27,666 --> 00:23:30,166 Why? What are you gonna do? Chop your hands off? 461 00:23:30,250 --> 00:23:31,541 Want one of those drinks? 462 00:23:31,625 --> 00:23:33,708 They're my friends', but they probably got new ones. 463 00:23:33,791 --> 00:23:37,083 No offense, I would literally never take an open drink from a man 464 00:23:37,166 --> 00:23:38,750 who doesn't wash his hands. 465 00:23:38,833 --> 00:23:41,708 Fair enough. Felix, by the way. Thanks for the bog roll. 466 00:23:41,791 --> 00:23:43,166 Okay, I'm Jessi… 467 00:23:44,208 --> 00:23:45,583 I'm Jessica! 468 00:23:50,500 --> 00:23:56,000 ♪ Whatever they want to call it, baby Me and you got it ♪ 469 00:23:57,291 --> 00:24:00,750 ♪ I said whatever they want To call it, baby… ♪ 470 00:24:01,500 --> 00:24:03,500 -Are you okay? -Fine, yeah. 471 00:24:06,000 --> 00:24:07,000 Are you sure? 472 00:24:07,500 --> 00:24:11,250 You seem kind of… not-okay vibes. 473 00:24:11,333 --> 00:24:12,958 Can I just be where I am, 474 00:24:13,041 --> 00:24:17,583 or… do I have to smile all the time like some laughing clown? 475 00:24:17,666 --> 00:24:21,583 I mean, you hardly ever smile. That's one of the things I like about you. 476 00:24:23,083 --> 00:24:24,916 Then when you do smile, 477 00:24:25,875 --> 00:24:27,458 it's extra spesh. 478 00:24:28,000 --> 00:24:29,166 Smile button. 479 00:24:29,791 --> 00:24:31,833 Oh, it's broken. Boop. Boop. 480 00:24:33,708 --> 00:24:36,583 Nope. Shall I guess? 481 00:24:37,083 --> 00:24:38,458 Later, Felix. 482 00:24:38,541 --> 00:24:41,500 Oh. Oh, yeah. Wow. 483 00:24:41,583 --> 00:24:44,791 Maybe I'll take a Diet Coke whenever you get the chance. 484 00:24:44,875 --> 00:24:46,708 But don't worry about it. I mean… 485 00:24:46,791 --> 00:24:48,333 I'm not even thirsty. 486 00:24:49,250 --> 00:24:50,458 I love this place. 487 00:24:51,208 --> 00:24:53,500 It's so indie. It's awesome. 488 00:24:54,833 --> 00:24:56,166 Oh my God. 489 00:25:00,500 --> 00:25:01,708 Oh my God. 490 00:25:02,375 --> 00:25:03,583 -Hey. -What? 491 00:25:04,625 --> 00:25:06,083 Funny, seeing you here. 492 00:25:06,166 --> 00:25:08,958 I was literally just thinking about whether you believed me 493 00:25:09,041 --> 00:25:11,708 about how it wasn't me who pissed on the toilet seat. 494 00:25:11,791 --> 00:25:14,208 No, I mean, I saw it before. 495 00:25:14,291 --> 00:25:17,000 What are you doing standing on your own under a bridge? 496 00:25:17,083 --> 00:25:20,666 I'm trying to get an Uber. I don't understand why it's not working. 497 00:25:20,750 --> 00:25:21,750 Know where this is? 498 00:25:23,833 --> 00:25:25,833 Yeah, you've ordered that to Heathrow. 499 00:25:25,916 --> 00:25:27,916 Okay, that explains it. 500 00:25:29,541 --> 00:25:32,125 I guess I'll just walk. It's probably not that far. 501 00:25:32,916 --> 00:25:35,083 What if you accidentally walk to Heathrow? 502 00:25:35,708 --> 00:25:38,333 I mean, that's a distinct possibility, I guess. 503 00:25:38,416 --> 00:25:40,791 Where are you going? It's about to piss it down. 504 00:25:40,875 --> 00:25:43,208 Hoxton Grove Estate? 505 00:25:43,958 --> 00:25:45,916 What? 506 00:25:46,000 --> 00:25:49,375 Bet you thought that meant something else when you saw the word "estate." 507 00:25:49,458 --> 00:25:52,833 I mean, I'm not upset. I just need to adjust my expectations. 508 00:25:52,916 --> 00:25:55,083 I'm always, like, adjusting my expectations. 509 00:25:55,166 --> 00:25:58,750 Let me guess, you're like one of those Love Actually-loving girls… 510 00:25:58,833 --> 00:26:01,458 The Crown? You're obsessed? You're on a pilgrimage... 511 00:26:01,541 --> 00:26:04,416 No, I'm not obsessed with The Crown. 512 00:26:04,500 --> 00:26:06,083 Thank you very much. 513 00:26:06,166 --> 00:26:10,000 I'm, um, a Wuthering Heights, Prime Suspect rising, I guess. 514 00:26:10,083 --> 00:26:13,000 Shit, okay. Sorry, I underestimated you. 515 00:26:13,083 --> 00:26:14,416 Yeah, you did. 516 00:26:15,083 --> 00:26:18,333 But I did have a special-edition Princess Diana Beanie Baby. 517 00:26:18,416 --> 00:26:21,750 Yeah, we all had those. You've got an American accent, right? 518 00:26:21,833 --> 00:26:23,875 No, I'm not… I don't have that. 519 00:26:23,958 --> 00:26:26,625 I don't have an American accent. It's Slovakian, actually. 520 00:26:26,708 --> 00:26:28,958 I've actually always liked American things. 521 00:26:29,041 --> 00:26:30,125 Really? Like what? 522 00:26:30,208 --> 00:26:32,416 The Simpsons. I genuinely like The Simpsons. 523 00:26:32,500 --> 00:26:34,166 Yeah, it's a good show. 524 00:26:34,250 --> 00:26:36,083 -Captain Crunch. -Yum. 525 00:26:36,166 --> 00:26:37,166 Delicious. 526 00:26:38,416 --> 00:26:40,708 OxyContin. That's American, right? Big fan of that. 527 00:26:40,791 --> 00:26:43,666 Yum, I love that, yeah. It's my favorite breakfast. 528 00:26:45,500 --> 00:26:49,375 -Sorry, how long have you been here again? -I got in today. 529 00:26:50,291 --> 00:26:52,208 -I got here today. -What the fuck? 530 00:26:52,291 --> 00:26:53,125 I know. 531 00:26:53,208 --> 00:26:56,625 What are you doing in South London without any of your friends? 532 00:26:56,708 --> 00:26:58,833 Do you want me to tell you the truth? 533 00:27:00,541 --> 00:27:03,500 My ex-boyfriend and I split up six months ago 534 00:27:03,583 --> 00:27:07,208 because he couldn't see himself as a father and a husband. 535 00:27:07,291 --> 00:27:11,875 And now he's engaged to an online girl. Like, an influencer. 536 00:27:11,958 --> 00:27:13,500 She makes lip gloss. 537 00:27:13,583 --> 00:27:15,708 -Do you want me to murder them? -Yeah. 538 00:27:15,791 --> 00:27:18,416 I want you to cut their heads off and sew them back on. 539 00:27:18,500 --> 00:27:21,500 As a lesson. I don't want you to fully kill them, but… 540 00:27:22,208 --> 00:27:23,375 I'll root you on. 541 00:27:23,458 --> 00:27:26,333 You cold, by the way? I got this. 542 00:27:26,833 --> 00:27:28,416 No, I run hot. 543 00:27:28,500 --> 00:27:30,666 Yeah. I'm, like, sweating. 544 00:27:32,041 --> 00:27:34,875 -Do you want to walk? -Are you going to my house? 545 00:27:34,958 --> 00:27:37,916 I don't want you to get murdered on your first night in London. 546 00:27:38,000 --> 00:27:39,000 That's really nice. 547 00:27:40,625 --> 00:27:44,583 No, I'm sort of semi-squatting with a friend near this area called Angel. 548 00:27:44,666 --> 00:27:46,458 We live right across from the Internet. 549 00:27:46,541 --> 00:27:48,750 -It's really doing my head in. -The Internet? 550 00:27:48,833 --> 00:27:51,875 Yeah, like, one of the big companies, Internet companies. 551 00:27:51,958 --> 00:27:52,916 It's stressing me out 552 00:27:53,000 --> 00:27:56,750 because when I wake up in the morning, we live right opposite this building. 553 00:27:56,833 --> 00:27:59,333 So, I'm like, "Have they just been beaming Internet signals 554 00:27:59,416 --> 00:28:02,208 straight into my brain and my crotch all night?" 555 00:28:02,291 --> 00:28:05,958 -Do you know what I mean? -That sounds really, like, sexual. 556 00:28:06,458 --> 00:28:08,375 -Like I'm being fucked by the Internet? -Yeah. 557 00:28:08,458 --> 00:28:11,583 I feel like I'm being fucked all night by this Internet building. 558 00:28:11,666 --> 00:28:14,166 That's pretty graphic. That's disgusting. 559 00:28:14,666 --> 00:28:18,166 I actually heard my neighbor yell "cunt" really loudly 560 00:28:18,250 --> 00:28:21,375 and then throw her husband up against the wall. 561 00:28:21,458 --> 00:28:23,500 At least, that's what it sounds like. 562 00:28:23,583 --> 00:28:25,416 What, where you're going now? 563 00:28:25,500 --> 00:28:27,875 -Mm-hmm, where I'm going now. -Dark, okay. 564 00:28:27,958 --> 00:28:30,708 I know, I don't know why I said that. What a bummer. 565 00:28:30,791 --> 00:28:32,333 You're sure it's this far? 566 00:28:32,416 --> 00:28:34,625 This is like a two-hour affair, at least. 567 00:28:34,708 --> 00:28:36,666 Oh, so now we're having an affair? 568 00:28:38,791 --> 00:28:40,791 I'm actually getting really cold. 569 00:28:41,291 --> 00:28:44,833 -Oh, yeah? Do you want my jacket? -Yes, please. 570 00:28:44,916 --> 00:28:48,000 It's kind of blustery when you're surrounded by tall buildings. 571 00:28:48,083 --> 00:28:49,250 -Right? -Yeah. 572 00:28:49,333 --> 00:28:51,875 Do you need a hand? 573 00:28:51,958 --> 00:28:55,000 There you go. Fucking hell, you're going to blow away. 574 00:28:57,250 --> 00:28:59,250 -I'm actually really hot now, sorry. -What? 575 00:28:59,333 --> 00:29:00,416 I'm immediately hot. 576 00:29:00,500 --> 00:29:02,140 -It's thick. -This is a whirlwind. 577 00:29:03,458 --> 00:29:04,333 Okay. 578 00:29:04,416 --> 00:29:10,125 Well, do you want to come up and see my new, horrible, shitty new apartment? 579 00:29:10,625 --> 00:29:14,541 "Your apartment? "Oh my God, my apartment sucks." 580 00:29:14,625 --> 00:29:16,583 I don't sound like that. 581 00:29:18,291 --> 00:29:19,708 But yeah, all right. 582 00:29:21,750 --> 00:29:25,041 This isn't horrible at all. It's… kind of homey. 583 00:29:26,875 --> 00:29:29,375 It's like being in a grandma's suitcase or something. 584 00:29:29,458 --> 00:29:30,625 I quite like it. 585 00:29:30,708 --> 00:29:33,000 Oh my God, who is that? 586 00:29:33,083 --> 00:29:34,750 How'd you get in here? 587 00:29:34,833 --> 00:29:36,375 What is that? 588 00:29:38,083 --> 00:29:39,083 Is that your dog? 589 00:29:39,166 --> 00:29:41,958 She's a weirdo, but she's an iconic queen. 590 00:29:42,041 --> 00:29:44,166 Hey. 591 00:29:44,250 --> 00:29:46,375 I mean, I guess we're all weirdos, aren't we? 592 00:29:47,041 --> 00:29:49,750 I adopted her when she was nine. She's ten now. 593 00:29:49,833 --> 00:29:51,666 She had a cancerous lump on her lung, 594 00:29:51,750 --> 00:29:54,625 so I emptied out my savings and got it removed, 595 00:29:54,708 --> 00:29:56,500 and now she's just a cancer-free lump. 596 00:29:56,583 --> 00:30:00,000 Oh. Hey. Hi, Lumpkin. 597 00:30:00,500 --> 00:30:01,875 She's not wearing any clothes. 598 00:30:01,958 --> 00:30:03,583 -Stop looking at her. -Okay. 599 00:30:05,041 --> 00:30:06,708 Does she have a favorite song? 600 00:30:07,333 --> 00:30:09,958 Um, probably anything by Fiona Apple. 601 00:30:10,625 --> 00:30:11,750 Oh. 602 00:30:11,833 --> 00:30:13,166 Tidal's a good album. 603 00:30:14,208 --> 00:30:16,333 Well, it's the first CD I ever owned. 604 00:30:18,958 --> 00:30:19,958 Tidal? 605 00:30:20,791 --> 00:30:22,000 Not, like, Backstreet Boys 606 00:30:22,083 --> 00:30:26,083 or… that song about how it's just a little crush or whatever? 607 00:30:29,666 --> 00:30:30,666 Mm. 608 00:30:32,666 --> 00:30:33,750 Who'd leave you? 609 00:30:34,291 --> 00:30:35,291 Fuck that guy. 610 00:30:36,083 --> 00:30:38,083 Well, you don't know him. Maybe he's amazing. 611 00:30:38,166 --> 00:30:40,083 Maybe you guys would be best friends. 612 00:30:40,708 --> 00:30:42,708 Nah, I don't think we'd be best friends. 613 00:30:48,958 --> 00:30:51,333 Um… 614 00:30:54,958 --> 00:30:56,166 -Um… -Oh. 615 00:30:56,250 --> 00:30:58,041 -Sorry. Uh… -Sorry. 616 00:30:58,791 --> 00:31:00,541 -Uh, are you sick? -No. 617 00:31:01,416 --> 00:31:03,208 No, I'm just, like, seeing someone. 618 00:31:03,291 --> 00:31:05,583 Uh, like, it… like, it's not… 619 00:31:05,666 --> 00:31:08,500 It's probably not gonna work out. But it's been a few months… 620 00:31:08,583 --> 00:31:10,625 Yeah, um, sure. 621 00:31:10,708 --> 00:31:13,041 I'm trying to do stuff a bit differently… 622 00:31:13,125 --> 00:31:14,791 Uh, I… I was kidding. 623 00:31:14,875 --> 00:31:17,250 I'm so tired. I just, um… 624 00:31:17,333 --> 00:31:19,583 I gotta work. Not tonight. I'm not a night worker. 625 00:31:19,666 --> 00:31:21,166 -I'm not a cop. -Okay. 626 00:31:21,250 --> 00:31:24,208 I shouldn't have even went out tonight. 627 00:31:24,291 --> 00:31:28,791 Where's my bed? I've gotta go to… I feel like I'm asleep right now. 628 00:31:28,875 --> 00:31:32,583 -Want to hang out another time? -Yeah, so nice to see ya. 629 00:31:32,666 --> 00:31:36,375 Yeah, good to meet you too. Do you want to swap numbers? 630 00:31:36,458 --> 00:31:38,250 I need to go to sleep. 631 00:31:38,333 --> 00:31:39,958 Cool, okay. All right. 632 00:31:40,041 --> 00:31:42,875 Get out of here, or I'll kiss you again! I'm kidding. 633 00:31:42,958 --> 00:31:44,375 -All right. See you. -Yeah. 634 00:31:44,458 --> 00:31:46,250 Do you have a bag or something? 635 00:31:46,333 --> 00:31:48,458 -No, I don't. You're okay, yeah? -Okay. 636 00:31:48,541 --> 00:31:50,291 Hope to see you singing around town. 637 00:31:50,375 --> 00:31:51,833 Cool. All right. Bye. 638 00:31:57,333 --> 00:31:58,416 I saw a bug! 639 00:32:05,125 --> 00:32:06,666 Dear, dear Wendy Jones, 640 00:32:06,750 --> 00:32:09,291 I'm no longer dreaming of a new life. I'm living it. 641 00:32:09,375 --> 00:32:10,916 I'm gonna take a lover. 642 00:32:11,000 --> 00:32:14,875 Not the guy that was here tonight, he's kind of weird, but a different lover. 643 00:32:14,958 --> 00:32:19,041 Many lovers. We're all gonna make love. Or something like that. 644 00:32:19,708 --> 00:32:22,500 The fire of my passion cannot be extinguished. 645 00:32:24,416 --> 00:32:26,666 Oh my God! Oh my God! 646 00:32:26,750 --> 00:32:30,041 Stop, drop, and roll! Stop! Drop! And roll! 647 00:32:30,125 --> 00:32:31,208 Oh my God! 648 00:32:34,666 --> 00:32:39,041 ♪ You moved like honey ♪ 649 00:32:39,916 --> 00:32:43,541 ♪ In my dream last night ♪ 650 00:32:45,208 --> 00:32:51,708 ♪ Yeah, some old fires were burning ♪ 651 00:32:55,041 --> 00:32:56,708 ♪ You came near… ♪ 652 00:32:56,791 --> 00:33:00,291 Fuck! 911! 911! 653 00:33:00,375 --> 00:33:02,375 Or is it different here? 654 00:33:02,458 --> 00:33:06,333 901? 999? 655 00:33:06,416 --> 00:33:07,875 I feel totally dizzy. 656 00:33:07,958 --> 00:33:10,416 Like, I feel like I'm going to pass out or something. 657 00:33:10,500 --> 00:33:12,750 Can you unlatch the door for us, ma'am? 658 00:33:12,833 --> 00:33:17,041 Uh, I just feel like I'm gonna go down, and I'm not drunk. 659 00:33:17,125 --> 00:33:19,791 If you thought I was drunk, I'm not drunk. 660 00:33:19,875 --> 00:33:22,583 Yeah, look. We're very dear friends. Very close. 661 00:33:22,666 --> 00:33:27,250 If there's any last-minute operations or decisions, I'm your guy. All right? 662 00:33:27,333 --> 00:33:29,791 So what's going on? Did she do it on purpose, or what? 663 00:33:29,875 --> 00:33:32,625 Before we go, we needed to get her under some cold water. 664 00:33:32,708 --> 00:33:35,166 -Like I'm pasta? -What, ma'am? 665 00:33:35,250 --> 00:33:36,833 Like I'm pasta? 666 00:33:36,916 --> 00:33:40,000 I'm burned, and this little guy's just spraying me. 667 00:33:40,083 --> 00:33:41,166 You're fine. 668 00:33:41,250 --> 00:33:43,250 Just keep breathing. 669 00:33:43,333 --> 00:33:46,416 Just keep breathing like you're giving birth to twins. 670 00:33:46,500 --> 00:33:48,708 Wait. Where's my dog? You guys aren't watching my dog. 671 00:33:48,791 --> 00:33:51,000 -Drama queen. -If she was a kid, you'd watch her. 672 00:33:51,083 --> 00:33:53,833 You only care about kids. You don't care about dogs. 673 00:33:53,916 --> 00:33:56,875 -What, that little goat? -Thought it was a hairless cat. 674 00:33:57,458 --> 00:34:00,041 Stay with me. You all right? 675 00:34:03,083 --> 00:34:05,833 And by God, Wendy, there he was. 676 00:34:05,916 --> 00:34:07,333 My Mr. Darcy. 677 00:34:07,416 --> 00:34:08,791 My Rochester. 678 00:34:08,875 --> 00:34:10,375 My Alan Rickman. 679 00:34:10,458 --> 00:34:12,625 My… Felix. 680 00:34:14,333 --> 00:34:16,250 ♪ How come every time you come around ♪ 681 00:34:16,333 --> 00:34:19,500 ♪ My London, London Bridge Wanna go down, like ♪ 682 00:34:19,583 --> 00:34:21,041 ♪ London, London, London ♪ 683 00:34:21,125 --> 00:34:23,500 -♪ Wanna go down like ♪ -♪ London, London, London ♪ 684 00:34:23,583 --> 00:34:24,875 ♪ Be going down like ♪ 685 00:34:24,958 --> 00:34:26,916 ♪ How come every time you come around ♪ 686 00:34:27,000 --> 00:34:29,583 ♪ My London, London Bridge Wanna go down, like ♪ 687 00:34:29,666 --> 00:34:30,916 ♪ London, London, London ♪ 688 00:34:31,000 --> 00:34:32,833 ♪ Wanna go down like ♪ 689 00:34:32,916 --> 00:34:34,916 ♪ London, London, London Be going down like ♪ 690 00:34:35,000 --> 00:34:37,583 ♪ That Grey Goose Got your girl feeling loose ♪ 691 00:34:37,666 --> 00:34:40,250 ♪ Now I'm wishing That I didn't wear these shoes ♪ 692 00:34:40,333 --> 00:34:42,916 ♪ It's like every time I get up on the dude ♪ 693 00:34:43,000 --> 00:34:46,916 ♪ Paparazzi put my business in the news And I'm like, get up out my face ♪ 694 00:34:47,000 --> 00:34:49,583 ♪ Before I turn around And spray your ass with mace ♪ 695 00:34:49,666 --> 00:34:52,250 ♪ My lips make you wanna have a taste ♪ 696 00:34:52,333 --> 00:34:53,583 ♪ You got that? ♪ 697 00:34:53,666 --> 00:34:54,916 ♪ I got the bass ♪ 698 00:34:55,791 --> 00:34:57,583 ♪ How come every time you come around ♪ 699 00:34:57,666 --> 00:35:01,083 ♪ My London, London Bridge Wanna go down, like ♪ 700 00:35:01,166 --> 00:35:02,916 ♪ London, London, London ♪ 701 00:35:03,000 --> 00:35:05,083 -♪ Wanna go down like ♪ -♪ London, London, London ♪ 702 00:35:05,166 --> 00:35:06,333 ♪ Be going down like ♪ 703 00:35:06,416 --> 00:35:08,250 ♪ How come every time you come around ♪ 704 00:35:08,333 --> 00:35:11,541 ♪ My London, London Bridge Wanna go down, like ♪ 705 00:35:11,625 --> 00:35:12,875 ♪ London, London, London ♪ 706 00:35:12,958 --> 00:35:15,708 ♪ Wanna go down like London, London, London ♪ 707 00:35:15,791 --> 00:35:17,583 ♪ Be going down like ♪ 707 00:35:18,305 --> 00:36:18,617 Watch Online Movies and Series for FREE www.osdb.link/lm