Dani Rovira: Vale la pena

1 00:00:09,000 --> 00:00:11,500 Well, Dani, the session is over. How are you? 2 00:00:11,583 --> 00:00:13,750 Well, I'm good. I'm actually feeling better. 3 00:00:13,833 --> 00:00:16,333 That's what I like to hear, Dani. Onwards and upwards. 4 00:00:16,416 --> 00:00:19,625 -Yeah, see you next week. Thanks. -See you next week. 5 00:00:22,958 --> 00:00:25,125 Dani, remember to send me the money! 6 00:00:27,250 --> 00:00:28,666 The money, Dani! 7 00:00:28,750 --> 00:00:31,791 ECHO CENTER FOR PSYCHOLOGY 8 00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:39,074 9 00:01:03,166 --> 00:01:04,750 DANI ROVIRA IT'S WORTH IT 10 00:01:49,041 --> 00:01:50,875 So I've been on a shitty streak. 11 00:01:52,958 --> 00:01:54,958 Thank you very much for coming today. 12 00:01:55,041 --> 00:01:57,916 And you're in luck because today, here, 13 00:01:58,000 --> 00:02:00,333 we'll be talking about sadness. 14 00:02:07,083 --> 00:02:09,291 There will be quite a few confessions tonight. 15 00:02:09,375 --> 00:02:11,375 The first confession I have to make 16 00:02:11,458 --> 00:02:14,625 is that, for the last few years, 17 00:02:14,708 --> 00:02:18,500 I've been seriously flirting with sadness, okay? 18 00:02:18,583 --> 00:02:21,916 And after all these years, have I learned anything? Yes. 19 00:02:22,000 --> 00:02:23,166 I've learned a lot. 20 00:02:23,250 --> 00:02:25,583 For starters, that we don't like sadness. 21 00:02:25,666 --> 00:02:28,541 We don't like feeling it, and we don't like seeing it in others. 22 00:02:28,625 --> 00:02:32,041 And we don't know how to deal with it. Not our own, and not anyone else's. 23 00:02:32,125 --> 00:02:33,375 Look, in all these years, 24 00:02:33,458 --> 00:02:36,000 just one person, literally one, 25 00:02:36,083 --> 00:02:38,791 has ever told me something that actually stuck with me. 26 00:02:38,875 --> 00:02:41,916 I remember, one afternoon, I was having coffee with a friend. 27 00:02:42,000 --> 00:02:43,125 I was feeling down. 28 00:02:43,208 --> 00:02:45,916 I was opening up, telling him I couldn't take it anymore. 29 00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:47,083 Then suddenly, he says… 30 00:02:47,166 --> 00:02:50,958 I'm sharing all this so you can use it in your own life. 31 00:02:51,041 --> 00:02:53,416 Suddenly, my friend says, "Dani, bro." 32 00:02:54,708 --> 00:02:55,750 "Don't be sad." 33 00:02:59,291 --> 00:03:00,833 I haven't called him since. 34 00:03:02,666 --> 00:03:03,791 We don't like sadness 35 00:03:03,875 --> 00:03:06,708 or any other unpleasant emotion, obviously, right? 36 00:03:06,791 --> 00:03:09,875 But sadness is a bit worse because it exposes us. 37 00:03:09,958 --> 00:03:11,875 Because when the sadness gets intense, 38 00:03:12,500 --> 00:03:14,416 we cry, and that exposes us. 39 00:03:14,500 --> 00:03:16,375 And it's true that, even today, 40 00:03:16,458 --> 00:03:21,958 crying in public is still kind of a taboo, right? 41 00:03:22,041 --> 00:03:24,041 It shows vulnerability. 42 00:03:24,125 --> 00:03:26,375 And without even realizing it, 43 00:03:26,458 --> 00:03:30,083 we try to shut it down in little kids, right? 44 00:03:30,166 --> 00:03:32,333 That whole, "Don't cry. It makes you look ugly." 45 00:03:32,416 --> 00:03:35,875 The next time I hear someone say that to a kid, I'll kick them in the chest. 46 00:03:36,375 --> 00:03:37,375 The adult, I mean. 47 00:03:40,125 --> 00:03:41,416 And when it comes to crying, 48 00:03:41,500 --> 00:03:47,291 even now it's still seen as a gender thing, you know? 49 00:03:47,375 --> 00:03:50,375 Look, there's this famous quote that's over 500 years old. 50 00:03:50,458 --> 00:03:52,291 Some of you have probably heard it. 51 00:03:52,375 --> 00:03:56,083 It was back when the Catholic Monarchs were finishing the reconquest of Spain, 52 00:03:56,166 --> 00:04:00,333 and the last stronghold left was the Kingdom of Granada. 53 00:04:00,416 --> 00:04:01,583 Remember that? 54 00:04:01,666 --> 00:04:05,708 Boabdil was there with his entourage. They'd been under siege for a long time. 55 00:04:05,791 --> 00:04:08,375 Spoiler alert. It's history. We know how it ends. 56 00:04:09,208 --> 00:04:13,250 But there came a moment when Boabdil had to hand over the keys to the city. 57 00:04:13,333 --> 00:04:17,458 That had to be one of the toughest moments for any historical figure we know. 58 00:04:17,541 --> 00:04:20,416 And at that moment, Boabdil's mother, 59 00:04:20,500 --> 00:04:23,125 not some in-law of her sister's cousin, 60 00:04:23,208 --> 00:04:26,333 but no, Boabdil's own mother tells him, 61 00:04:27,708 --> 00:04:32,666 "Cry like a woman for what you couldn't defend like a man." 62 00:04:35,208 --> 00:04:36,208 Excuse me? 63 00:04:37,583 --> 00:04:39,458 Damn, you didn't hold back, did you, Boabdila? 64 00:04:42,208 --> 00:04:44,041 What's past is prologue, right? 65 00:04:45,291 --> 00:04:49,625 I think it's safe to say we've all felt sadness at some point, 66 00:04:49,708 --> 00:04:52,583 some more deeply, some more often. 67 00:04:53,083 --> 00:04:57,208 A while back, I started thinking about if there was a time in my life 68 00:04:57,291 --> 00:05:00,583 when sadness really pushed its way in, you know? 69 00:05:00,666 --> 00:05:02,708 Like in a way I couldn't ignore. 70 00:05:02,791 --> 00:05:06,041 And, yes, I do think there was an exact moment 71 00:05:06,541 --> 00:05:08,833 around 11 years ago, 72 00:05:09,666 --> 00:05:13,916 the same time that the movie Spanish Affair came out. 73 00:05:14,000 --> 00:05:15,833 Sound familiar? It does, doesn't it? 74 00:05:16,583 --> 00:05:19,958 I'd never done cinema before. Not once in my life, okay? 75 00:05:20,041 --> 00:05:22,666 I was doing this kind of thing, what you're seeing here, 76 00:05:22,750 --> 00:05:25,833 and out of nowhere, the chance to do this movie came up. 77 00:05:25,916 --> 00:05:27,041 I did it, obviously. 78 00:05:27,125 --> 00:05:29,875 And just like that, overnight, I became the lead 79 00:05:29,958 --> 00:05:32,416 in the highest-grossing film in Spanish cinema history. 80 00:05:32,500 --> 00:05:35,875 And the way the industry's going, I'll take that record to the grave. 81 00:05:35,958 --> 00:05:38,000 I don't know if I should laugh or cry, 82 00:05:38,083 --> 00:05:40,041 but facts are facts. 83 00:05:40,125 --> 00:05:44,041 I'm not sure how you all saw it, like a big event or whatever, 84 00:05:44,125 --> 00:05:47,625 but I don't know if anybody thought about what it was like for me. 85 00:05:47,708 --> 00:05:49,791 I mean, for me, it was a crazy few months 86 00:05:49,875 --> 00:05:53,208 when amazing things started to happen, 87 00:05:53,291 --> 00:05:55,291 and I had no idea how to deal with them. 88 00:05:55,375 --> 00:05:58,958 I went from never doing a film in my life to suddenly getting bombarded 89 00:05:59,041 --> 00:06:02,000 with scripts and offers from directors and producers. 90 00:06:02,083 --> 00:06:03,416 I was like, "This is crazy!" 91 00:06:03,500 --> 00:06:04,875 The demand for theater shows. 92 00:06:04,958 --> 00:06:08,250 I was already doing theater, but the demand tripled. 93 00:06:08,333 --> 00:06:11,125 Like, "Dani, come do a show in Alicante!" "Okay!" 94 00:06:11,208 --> 00:06:13,958 "Dani, come do a show in Barcelona!" "Okay!" 95 00:06:14,041 --> 00:06:15,583 "Dani, come do a show in Murcia!" 96 00:06:15,666 --> 00:06:17,875 "Why Murcia?" He says, "Good point." I didn't go. 97 00:06:22,416 --> 00:06:25,166 I mean, if I don't roast the Murcian crowd a little, 98 00:06:25,250 --> 00:06:26,916 I'm not happy, and neither are they. 99 00:06:27,500 --> 00:06:30,250 Are there any Murcians here? Actually, none of us care. 100 00:06:31,875 --> 00:06:34,041 You know how brands work, right? 101 00:06:34,125 --> 00:06:37,083 They throw a famous face on something… 102 00:06:37,166 --> 00:06:40,000 It works on me. I'm at home and see an ad with a famous person, 103 00:06:40,083 --> 00:06:42,416 I run out in my underwear to buy it. 104 00:06:42,500 --> 00:06:46,500 So, of course, the brands would call me. "Dani, our brand…" 105 00:06:46,583 --> 00:06:49,291 "Your face on our brand, our brand on your face." 106 00:06:49,375 --> 00:06:51,375 I'm like, "I don't understand anything." 107 00:06:51,875 --> 00:06:54,500 Well, I started dating the star of the movie. 108 00:06:54,583 --> 00:06:56,916 It was a beautiful love story. I mean, it was great. 109 00:06:57,000 --> 00:06:59,500 On paper, from the outside, right? 110 00:07:04,541 --> 00:07:07,958 You can't even imagine what that was like for me. 111 00:07:08,041 --> 00:07:09,791 But three or four months later, 112 00:07:10,291 --> 00:07:12,208 one morning, I wake up… 113 00:07:12,291 --> 00:07:14,125 Out of nowhere, I wake up one morning, 114 00:07:14,625 --> 00:07:18,958 and suddenly, I'm crying, but full-on crying, like, "Oh shit." 115 00:07:19,041 --> 00:07:21,708 Like when you have to take a dump, and you go, "Shit." 116 00:07:24,125 --> 00:07:26,291 I couldn't stop, and I didn't know why. 117 00:07:26,375 --> 00:07:29,125 Then all of a sudden, my girlfriend at the time says 118 00:07:29,833 --> 00:07:32,083 one of the most sensible things I've ever heard. 119 00:07:32,166 --> 00:07:34,583 "Hey, Dani, why don't you go to therapy?" 120 00:07:35,083 --> 00:07:37,583 And I said, "Okay, sure." 121 00:07:37,666 --> 00:07:41,875 It's weird when you think about it, right? Those two lines almost never go together. 122 00:07:41,958 --> 00:07:45,041 "Why don't you try therapy?" And someone just says, "Sure." No. 123 00:07:45,125 --> 00:07:48,000 What usually happens is, "Why don't you try therapy?" 124 00:07:48,083 --> 00:07:49,125 "Therapy?!" 125 00:07:49,625 --> 00:07:52,333 "What, a shrink? The loony bin? You think I'm crazy?" 126 00:07:52,416 --> 00:07:53,916 I say, "No, I'm not saying that." 127 00:07:54,000 --> 00:07:56,166 "Am I crazy?" They say, "No, Dani, you're not." 128 00:07:56,250 --> 00:07:59,041 I say, "'Cause I've been going to therapy for 11 years, bud." 129 00:07:59,125 --> 00:08:01,041 And let me tell you something, okay? 130 00:08:01,125 --> 00:08:05,791 I'm fucking tired of going to therapy because of people who don't go to therapy. 131 00:08:05,875 --> 00:08:06,750 Just saying. 132 00:08:08,708 --> 00:08:09,916 Just saying. 133 00:08:16,958 --> 00:08:19,041 If you're dead set against going to therapy, 134 00:08:19,125 --> 00:08:22,625 at least help pay for ours since we're fixing our problems and yours. 135 00:08:24,208 --> 00:08:26,083 Anyway, I was recommended a therapist, 136 00:08:26,166 --> 00:08:28,166 the same one I've been seeing for 11 years. 137 00:08:28,250 --> 00:08:30,166 I still see him. His name is Salvador. 138 00:08:33,791 --> 00:08:38,125 I'd never been to therapy before, and suddenly, I find myself in this room 139 00:08:38,208 --> 00:08:41,166 with a guy with a very kind face sitting in an armchair, 140 00:08:41,250 --> 00:08:42,666 another chair in front of him. 141 00:08:42,750 --> 00:08:47,250 I sit down, and he says, "Dani, tell me what brought you here." 142 00:08:47,333 --> 00:08:49,166 At first, I didn't know what to say. 143 00:08:49,250 --> 00:08:52,875 But I started opening up to him, talking non-stop. 144 00:08:52,958 --> 00:08:54,333 A full hour talking. 145 00:08:54,416 --> 00:08:55,583 That's not normal for me. 146 00:08:57,583 --> 00:09:00,000 And when the hour was up, the guy stopped me and said, 147 00:09:00,083 --> 00:09:03,791 "Look, Dani, what I'm picking up from you is a deep sadness." 148 00:09:04,541 --> 00:09:07,125 I was like, "Oh shit, sadness?" I hadn't thought of that. 149 00:09:07,208 --> 00:09:11,125 I was thinking maybe frustration, pressure, stress. 150 00:09:11,208 --> 00:09:15,083 No, sadness. I go, "What's up with that?" "Dani, because two things are going on." 151 00:09:15,166 --> 00:09:17,750 "One, you're grieving." 152 00:09:18,416 --> 00:09:21,375 "And two, you don't know that you're grieving." 153 00:09:21,458 --> 00:09:23,375 I go, "But I don't know anyone who's died." 154 00:09:23,458 --> 00:09:25,833 And he says, "No, it might not be literal." 155 00:09:25,916 --> 00:09:29,333 "It could be a metaphorical death of something in your life." 156 00:09:29,416 --> 00:09:31,833 And suddenly, I started to understand a lot of things. 157 00:09:31,916 --> 00:09:35,000 For example, we're not aware of how precious certain things are 158 00:09:35,083 --> 00:09:36,458 because we already have them. 159 00:09:36,541 --> 00:09:38,958 We only miss them once they're gone. 160 00:09:39,041 --> 00:09:42,083 For example, I know most of you have something 161 00:09:42,625 --> 00:09:45,916 you don't realize you have 'cause no one's ever taken it from you. 162 00:09:46,416 --> 00:09:49,041 Like arms, okay? Super obvious, right? 163 00:09:49,125 --> 00:09:52,208 You don't wake up every morning and go, "Oh, thank God." 164 00:09:53,250 --> 00:09:56,583 "Another amazing Tuesday with arms." No. I mean, we have them, right? 165 00:09:57,083 --> 00:10:01,083 But I'm talking about something a bit more subtle, which is anonymity. 166 00:10:01,583 --> 00:10:04,916 You don't realize how valuable it is until it's gone. 167 00:10:05,000 --> 00:10:07,333 It hit me when I started noticing 168 00:10:07,416 --> 00:10:10,291 that I could no longer do certain everyday things, 169 00:10:10,375 --> 00:10:12,750 like picking up my nephews from school, 170 00:10:12,833 --> 00:10:16,083 or buy a sandwich and a beer and head to the Málaga beach 171 00:10:16,166 --> 00:10:19,958 with a book, sit under an umbrella, and just be left alone. 172 00:10:20,041 --> 00:10:21,583 That's gone now. It's over. 173 00:10:21,666 --> 00:10:24,750 You need to understand that, back then, the moment I stepped outside, 174 00:10:24,833 --> 00:10:26,208 I was a rare Pokémon. 175 00:10:28,375 --> 00:10:30,416 It was wild. Well, 11 years have gone by. 176 00:10:30,500 --> 00:10:32,833 You might want to ask, "Well, Dani, how are you?" 177 00:10:32,916 --> 00:10:34,500 And I'd say, "Better." 178 00:10:36,125 --> 00:10:37,875 Not "well." "Better." 179 00:10:37,958 --> 00:10:40,208 That's because, first off, 11 years have gone by, 180 00:10:40,291 --> 00:10:44,708 because over time, you pick up tools to deal with whatever life throws at you. 181 00:10:44,791 --> 00:10:47,666 And the hype has died down. I'm not as trendy as I used to be. 182 00:10:47,750 --> 00:10:49,500 And I couldn't be more grateful. 183 00:10:49,583 --> 00:10:53,375 Also, I spend a lot of time at home these days, not gonna lie. 184 00:10:55,500 --> 00:10:58,666 Tonight, I'm gonna share a bunch of tools 185 00:10:58,750 --> 00:11:01,291 that helped me climb out of a rough place. 186 00:11:01,375 --> 00:11:03,291 I'll also give advice. I like giving advice. 187 00:11:03,375 --> 00:11:04,291 Some people hate it. 188 00:11:04,375 --> 00:11:06,750 "People who give advice…" Don't take it then. Great. 189 00:11:06,833 --> 00:11:09,916 Let me give you a piece of advice, the first one of the day. 190 00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:13,375 If you're walking down the street and see someone you truly admire, 191 00:11:13,458 --> 00:11:15,583 and I mean admire for real, 192 00:11:15,666 --> 00:11:19,458 not fake admiration just to snap a pic to prove you have a big dick online, 193 00:11:19,541 --> 00:11:22,166 like not caring whether it's Pepón Nieto or Ortega Smith. 194 00:11:22,250 --> 00:11:24,666 No, I mean true admiration, you know? 195 00:11:24,750 --> 00:11:26,875 If you see someone like this on the street, 196 00:11:26,958 --> 00:11:28,000 my advice is 197 00:11:29,416 --> 00:11:30,416 leave them alone. 198 00:11:31,666 --> 00:11:32,625 Leave them alone. 199 00:11:32,708 --> 00:11:35,291 Just watch from a distance, like you're on safari. 200 00:11:35,375 --> 00:11:37,125 In their habitat. See what they do. 201 00:11:39,500 --> 00:11:41,000 But leave them… Don't… 202 00:11:41,500 --> 00:11:44,333 Because you don't know where that person's headed, 203 00:11:44,416 --> 00:11:47,250 where they're coming from, or what they're dealing with. 204 00:11:47,333 --> 00:11:51,250 But if you still feel that uncontrollable urge 205 00:11:51,750 --> 00:11:53,666 to interact with that person, 206 00:11:53,750 --> 00:11:55,083 here's another little tip. 207 00:11:55,166 --> 00:11:58,916 First, think very carefully about what you're gonna say or do. 208 00:11:59,416 --> 00:12:00,833 Then execute. 209 00:12:02,041 --> 00:12:03,875 I mean, execute your plan, not kill them. 210 00:12:06,791 --> 00:12:10,291 Many things have happened over the years, some of them more than once. 211 00:12:10,375 --> 00:12:12,458 I'll tell you a couple so we can have a laugh, 212 00:12:12,541 --> 00:12:14,208 but there's one that's a classic. 213 00:12:14,291 --> 00:12:16,708 Someone comes up to you and says, 214 00:12:16,791 --> 00:12:21,208 "Wow, it's Dani Rovira, bro! Wow, bro, you're my fan!" 215 00:12:21,291 --> 00:12:22,708 Whatever you say, honey. 216 00:12:25,000 --> 00:12:26,458 Or the other version, 217 00:12:26,541 --> 00:12:29,291 "Wow, Dani Rovira, bro! I'm your idol!" 218 00:12:29,375 --> 00:12:33,458 And I'm like, "Yeah, totally. My bedroom's full of your posters… man." 219 00:12:34,625 --> 00:12:37,458 "Fan" and "idol" aren't the same, but they're not opposites. 220 00:12:37,541 --> 00:12:41,958 Still, I get it. Words can be confusing, especially if you're nervous. 221 00:12:42,041 --> 00:12:43,833 It happens to me all the time. 222 00:12:43,916 --> 00:12:46,541 It happens to me with "tunnel" and "bridge." 223 00:12:47,833 --> 00:12:51,458 I know what a tunnel is, careful now. I know what a bridge is, careful now. 224 00:12:52,291 --> 00:12:55,416 But sometimes, when I'm talking, I mix them up. I have to… 225 00:12:56,041 --> 00:12:59,083 I said to my brother, "How'd the tunnel go at the dentist?" 226 00:12:59,166 --> 00:13:00,625 He said, "What tunnel, dumbass?" 227 00:13:02,666 --> 00:13:05,541 Same with "backpack" and "suitcase," "shirt" and "T-shirt." 228 00:13:05,625 --> 00:13:08,375 And then with English, some words always mess me up. 229 00:13:08,458 --> 00:13:10,750 I don't speak English, but I can fake it a little. 230 00:13:10,833 --> 00:13:13,625 But there are two words that always make me stop and think. 231 00:13:13,708 --> 00:13:17,291 They are "after" and "before." 232 00:13:18,833 --> 00:13:20,750 Because to us, "after" sounds like… 233 00:13:20,833 --> 00:13:23,750 "When was that?" "It was 'after' yesterday." Like… 234 00:13:24,916 --> 00:13:28,583 And "before" sounds like it can wait. "When's that for?" "That's for 'before.'" 235 00:13:28,666 --> 00:13:31,625 I feel like they're the ones who are wrong, let me tell you. 236 00:13:39,916 --> 00:13:43,333 And then there'll be people who mix up… I mean, everyone has their reasons. 237 00:13:43,416 --> 00:13:45,875 "I get the word 'dick' confused with 'guacamole.'" 238 00:13:51,958 --> 00:13:53,125 That's great, Nacho. 239 00:13:56,583 --> 00:13:57,500 Anyway… 240 00:14:03,583 --> 00:14:07,583 Usually, when people run into me on the street and approach me, 241 00:14:07,666 --> 00:14:09,500 I usually end up disappointing them. 242 00:14:09,583 --> 00:14:13,625 If it's just a quick interaction, I disappoint them, just because. 243 00:14:13,708 --> 00:14:16,166 And a lot of people walk away from that interaction 244 00:14:16,250 --> 00:14:17,625 thinking one of two things. 245 00:14:17,708 --> 00:14:19,708 Either that I'm rude 246 00:14:20,541 --> 00:14:22,541 or that I'm very shy. 247 00:14:24,500 --> 00:14:25,750 I'm not shy. 248 00:14:27,958 --> 00:14:29,083 I'm just discreet. 249 00:14:29,166 --> 00:14:31,916 On the street, you'll always see me with my cap on, 250 00:14:32,000 --> 00:14:34,125 minding my own business, with my headphones in, 251 00:14:34,208 --> 00:14:35,375 keeping my head down. 252 00:14:35,458 --> 00:14:38,541 If you leave me alone, I'll leave you alone. 253 00:14:38,625 --> 00:14:40,916 It's something I don't… I mean, I'm not… 254 00:14:41,000 --> 00:14:43,708 It happened to me the other day when I had a show in Burgos. 255 00:14:43,791 --> 00:14:45,416 Burgos, the city that never sleeps. 256 00:14:45,500 --> 00:14:47,583 My God, the streets were empty at 4:00 p.m. 257 00:14:48,875 --> 00:14:50,333 I was like, "This is great." 258 00:14:50,416 --> 00:14:53,166 Suddenly, a guy on the other side of the sidewalk yells, 259 00:14:53,250 --> 00:14:54,791 "A famous guy!" 260 00:14:54,875 --> 00:14:56,208 I'm like, "Seriously?" 261 00:14:57,375 --> 00:14:59,833 "If you're gonna call me out, at least be specific." 262 00:14:59,916 --> 00:15:00,791 '"A famous guy.'" 263 00:15:00,875 --> 00:15:03,583 "I'm sure you're famous too in your fucking living room." 264 00:15:11,500 --> 00:15:15,250 I don't know. At the very least, you could say, "Good afternoon." 265 00:15:15,333 --> 00:15:17,625 Say, "Hello," "How are you," or at least a verb. 266 00:15:17,708 --> 00:15:19,125 Some people say, "Dani, photo!" 267 00:15:19,208 --> 00:15:22,541 It sounds like, "Dani, heads up!" Like they threw something at me. 268 00:15:22,625 --> 00:15:23,708 Come on, man. Listen. 269 00:15:25,666 --> 00:15:27,750 I remember one time I was in an elevator. 270 00:15:27,833 --> 00:15:29,250 I think it was in a hotel. 271 00:15:29,333 --> 00:15:31,708 You press the button, going up to a high floor, 272 00:15:31,791 --> 00:15:34,375 the doors start closing, and you see someone approaching. 273 00:15:34,458 --> 00:15:36,791 That's when you do that classic, "Oh, yes…" 274 00:15:36,875 --> 00:15:38,333 You don't want them to enter. 275 00:15:42,000 --> 00:15:43,625 You do that, "Oh, yes…" 276 00:15:43,708 --> 00:15:46,041 But you're not actually pressing any buttons. 277 00:15:46,125 --> 00:15:47,166 "Ah…" What is this? 278 00:15:48,250 --> 00:15:50,333 This is fake. This is… 279 00:15:51,416 --> 00:15:52,291 "Ah…" 280 00:15:52,375 --> 00:15:54,750 It could be your mother in a wheelchair. "Dani…" 281 00:15:54,833 --> 00:15:57,916 You go, "Yes, Mom. Ah…" It closes. You go, "Fuck you, bitch." 282 00:15:58,000 --> 00:15:59,416 What's wrong? We don't want it. 283 00:16:00,041 --> 00:16:01,000 It's how we are. 284 00:16:03,750 --> 00:16:06,208 I don't know. We just like to be alone in the elevator. 285 00:16:06,291 --> 00:16:09,666 Maybe to look in the mirror, take a photo, adjust your nuts, whatever. 286 00:16:09,750 --> 00:16:12,875 Anyway, an old man walked in with a white beard, 287 00:16:12,958 --> 00:16:16,791 white hair, wearing loose clothes, very zen vibe, you know? 288 00:16:16,875 --> 00:16:18,375 I go, "What's this guy's deal?" 289 00:16:18,875 --> 00:16:20,291 Anyway, he hits the button. 290 00:16:20,375 --> 00:16:23,291 We stand there in that classic awkward elevator silence. 291 00:16:23,375 --> 00:16:25,833 And he says, "Excuse me, can I ask you a question?" 292 00:16:25,916 --> 00:16:28,958 I'm thinking, "You already did, so technically this is your second." 293 00:16:30,250 --> 00:16:31,625 I go, "Yeah, of course." 294 00:16:31,708 --> 00:16:33,583 He stares at me, 295 00:16:35,166 --> 00:16:36,208 and he goes… 296 00:16:45,875 --> 00:16:46,875 "Is it you?" 297 00:16:54,333 --> 00:16:56,791 Damn, he said it so seriously, I wasn't even sure. 298 00:16:58,083 --> 00:16:59,458 I looked in the mirror. 299 00:16:59,541 --> 00:17:02,250 "Am I wearing a Spider-Man suit or something?" 300 00:17:02,791 --> 00:17:04,500 "Is it you?" asks the motherfucker. 301 00:17:05,250 --> 00:17:07,166 It reminds me of an interview with Estopa. 302 00:17:07,250 --> 00:17:10,166 One of them said he was walking, and someone said, 303 00:17:10,250 --> 00:17:12,000 "Hey, is it you or your brother?" 304 00:17:14,750 --> 00:17:16,208 That's messed up. 305 00:17:24,958 --> 00:17:28,333 Look, from the pandemic up to now… 306 00:17:28,416 --> 00:17:30,500 Don't worry, this is the first and last time 307 00:17:30,583 --> 00:17:35,000 I'll mention this global event that flipped our lives upside down 308 00:17:35,083 --> 00:17:39,250 and left everyone with a few extra burdens to carry in our backpacks, 309 00:17:39,333 --> 00:17:41,375 some more than others. 310 00:17:41,458 --> 00:17:45,500 In my case, my backpack's been full of gremlins since that event. 311 00:17:45,583 --> 00:17:50,000 I've gone through quite a few losses, more than I'd care to count, honestly. 312 00:17:50,083 --> 00:17:54,250 Some were harder to handle than others, but losses all the same. 313 00:17:55,000 --> 00:18:00,541 So I want to share with you two losses I've had to deal with over the years 314 00:18:00,625 --> 00:18:02,833 that hit me very hard, 315 00:18:02,916 --> 00:18:05,125 which was the loss of two great friends, 316 00:18:05,208 --> 00:18:08,291 who were basically like family to me, 317 00:18:08,375 --> 00:18:09,958 my life companions, 318 00:18:10,041 --> 00:18:12,958 my pups Bullo and Carapapa, okay? 319 00:18:13,041 --> 00:18:17,500 Also, one passed away around eight months after the other. 320 00:18:17,583 --> 00:18:20,666 I was still recovering from the first when the second one passed. 321 00:18:20,750 --> 00:18:21,875 It was like, "Wow." 322 00:18:21,958 --> 00:18:22,833 Well, I cried. 323 00:18:23,333 --> 00:18:24,250 I cried… 324 00:18:25,041 --> 00:18:26,708 I mean, I cried like a woman 325 00:18:28,500 --> 00:18:30,958 for what I couldn't defend like a veterinarian. 326 00:18:32,791 --> 00:18:36,291 But, you know, it was a kind of crying that made me go, 327 00:18:36,375 --> 00:18:39,208 "Damn, I've never cried like this before." 328 00:18:39,291 --> 00:18:42,708 And you know me. I love giving names to things. 329 00:18:42,791 --> 00:18:47,583 It was the kind of crying that made me call it "a clean cry." 330 00:18:48,166 --> 00:18:49,958 "A clean cry." I mean, I felt pain. 331 00:18:50,041 --> 00:18:53,250 I missed them. I felt sadness. I even had that sobbing hiccup like… 332 00:18:53,333 --> 00:18:56,083 All of that. But it felt clean. You know why? 333 00:18:57,208 --> 00:18:58,625 Because I didn't feel guilt. 334 00:18:59,833 --> 00:19:02,916 It's a relief. I didn't feel guilt. They died at 12 years old. 335 00:19:03,000 --> 00:19:04,708 Could they have lived longer? Sure. 336 00:19:04,791 --> 00:19:07,125 Could they have died sooner? Absolutely. 337 00:19:07,208 --> 00:19:09,916 But we had a great time together. I saved their lives. 338 00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:13,416 In a way, they saved mine as well. I mean, it's all good. 339 00:19:13,500 --> 00:19:16,166 Also, my therapist Salvador always says, 340 00:19:16,250 --> 00:19:19,250 "Dani, crying is a way to heal your mourning 341 00:19:19,333 --> 00:19:22,291 as well as a way to honor what is no longer here, right?" 342 00:19:22,375 --> 00:19:26,083 "And when the tears turn into stories, into laughter, into memories, 343 00:19:26,166 --> 00:19:27,291 you've got to keep going, 344 00:19:27,375 --> 00:19:30,500 because it's a way to honor what is no longer here." 345 00:19:30,583 --> 00:19:31,875 So with that in mind, 346 00:19:31,958 --> 00:19:34,250 I'm gonna tell you a little story 347 00:19:34,333 --> 00:19:37,333 from the first weeks when I first got my dog, Carapapa. 348 00:19:37,416 --> 00:19:39,958 I'd never had a dog before. Total newbie. I had no clue. 349 00:19:40,041 --> 00:19:41,291 And suddenly, there I was, 350 00:19:41,375 --> 00:19:44,666 alone in my apartment with this little furball, 351 00:19:44,750 --> 00:19:48,083 barely three kilos, just three or four months old, a puppy. 352 00:19:48,166 --> 00:19:50,958 That first week, it was 24/7. We were inseparable. 353 00:19:51,041 --> 00:19:54,125 I was like, "How does this work?" She was like, "How does he work?" 354 00:19:54,208 --> 00:19:55,166 We were like… 355 00:19:55,250 --> 00:19:57,375 But at some point, you have to go to work. 356 00:19:57,458 --> 00:20:00,750 If you live alone, you gotta leave her at home alone for a bit. 357 00:20:00,833 --> 00:20:03,000 The first few times, it's like, "Wow." 358 00:20:03,083 --> 00:20:05,041 I set up everything for her. 359 00:20:05,125 --> 00:20:08,916 Her bed, something for her to drink. Water, of course. I don't give her Coke. 360 00:20:09,708 --> 00:20:11,041 I leave her some food. 361 00:20:11,125 --> 00:20:13,083 I make sure everything is safe. All good. 362 00:20:13,166 --> 00:20:16,375 And I head off to work, but I'm a bit reluctant, you know? 363 00:20:17,000 --> 00:20:18,916 After six or seven hours, I come back home, 364 00:20:19,000 --> 00:20:20,625 and the neighbor pops out and goes, 365 00:20:20,708 --> 00:20:25,291 "Dani, she's been crying all morning and scratching the door with her paw." 366 00:20:25,375 --> 00:20:27,125 I'm like, "Oh no. Seriously…" 367 00:20:27,208 --> 00:20:30,791 I open the door and see two or three puddles of pee, a little turd. 368 00:20:30,875 --> 00:20:33,666 The chair leg was all chewed up, like… 369 00:20:33,750 --> 00:20:37,000 And there she is, in the hallway, looking super nervous, like… 370 00:20:37,083 --> 00:20:39,000 Peeing herself. I go, "Oh, you poor thing." 371 00:20:39,083 --> 00:20:41,083 "Carapapa, come now, what's wrong?" 372 00:20:41,166 --> 00:20:43,500 "There we go. Everything's okay. Don't worry." 373 00:20:43,583 --> 00:20:44,916 "You wanna go to therapy?" 374 00:20:47,166 --> 00:20:48,916 "Okay, then." Okay, right? 375 00:20:49,666 --> 00:20:50,541 Watch out. 376 00:20:52,250 --> 00:20:56,541 Anyway, I get a recommendation for a dog trainer, an ethologist. 377 00:20:56,625 --> 00:20:59,416 And I talk to him and explain what happened. 378 00:20:59,500 --> 00:21:01,666 And he says, "Look, Dani, don't worry." 379 00:21:01,750 --> 00:21:04,916 "That's completely normal, especially with new pups." 380 00:21:05,000 --> 00:21:09,083 "What you're dealing with is something called separation anxiety." 381 00:21:09,583 --> 00:21:10,916 And I'm like, "Wow!" 382 00:21:11,458 --> 00:21:13,125 And I ask, "What is that exactly?" 383 00:21:13,208 --> 00:21:14,541 And he says, "Well, basically, 384 00:21:14,625 --> 00:21:18,708 that means your dog has separation anxiety." 385 00:21:21,708 --> 00:21:23,166 The definition's in the name. 386 00:21:25,250 --> 00:21:28,166 So I go, "Okay, is there something I can do?" 387 00:21:28,250 --> 00:21:31,291 He goes, "Yes, there are a few methods. They aren't too complicated." 388 00:21:31,375 --> 00:21:33,041 "You just need to be consistent." 389 00:21:33,125 --> 00:21:36,583 I tried a few, but one in particular really helped. 390 00:21:36,666 --> 00:21:40,083 And I thought it was very touching, so I want to share it with you. 391 00:21:40,625 --> 00:21:43,500 The guy said, "Look, Dani, when you go out for a few hours, 392 00:21:43,583 --> 00:21:47,541 just leave her a piece of your clothing that smells like you, okay?" 393 00:21:47,625 --> 00:21:51,208 As you know, dogs have a sense of smell a thousand times sharper than ours. 394 00:21:51,291 --> 00:21:54,833 And their sense of smell is also closely linked to their emotions, 395 00:21:54,916 --> 00:21:56,375 which is really special. 396 00:21:56,458 --> 00:22:00,000 We had that too, but we've lost it trying to be so civilized. 397 00:22:00,083 --> 00:22:00,916 It sounded great. 398 00:22:01,000 --> 00:22:03,958 He says, "When you leave, leave clothing that smells like you." 399 00:22:04,041 --> 00:22:07,791 "Dogs have their own sort of magical thought process, 400 00:22:07,875 --> 00:22:10,625 and if they can smell someone 401 00:22:10,708 --> 00:22:13,916 who represents their friend, their protector, 402 00:22:14,000 --> 00:22:17,208 their guardian, their family, it helps them stay calm." 403 00:22:17,291 --> 00:22:19,916 I go, "Man, that's beautiful. I'll give it a try." 404 00:22:20,000 --> 00:22:21,458 So before I head out to work, 405 00:22:21,541 --> 00:22:24,041 I go to my closet where there's a pile of clothes, 406 00:22:24,125 --> 00:22:25,541 and I go like this… 407 00:22:25,625 --> 00:22:28,250 And I see a winter pajama top from the Stone Age. 408 00:22:28,333 --> 00:22:31,458 I grab it, smell it, and go, "Holy shit, it really smells like me!" 409 00:22:33,041 --> 00:22:35,166 "It smells more like me than I do. How?" 410 00:22:36,125 --> 00:22:40,000 So before I leave, I move her bed out like this 411 00:22:40,083 --> 00:22:41,166 into the hallway, 412 00:22:41,250 --> 00:22:43,166 I take the pajama top, I pick up the puppy. 413 00:22:43,250 --> 00:22:44,750 I set her down there, plop. 414 00:22:44,833 --> 00:22:48,208 She lays there peacefully with her head on the pajama like this… 415 00:22:48,708 --> 00:22:49,666 She was super calm. 416 00:22:49,750 --> 00:22:50,958 I left her there thinking, 417 00:22:51,041 --> 00:22:53,916 "Man, this will either kill you or make you stronger." 418 00:22:55,625 --> 00:22:58,583 So I left, thinking, "Well, let's see if this works." 419 00:22:59,458 --> 00:23:03,000 I came back six or seven hours later. You'll notice I never work eight. 420 00:23:04,833 --> 00:23:08,208 And the neighbor hasn't come out to say anything yet. 421 00:23:08,291 --> 00:23:09,791 And I open the door. 422 00:23:10,291 --> 00:23:12,500 And I see the bed, 423 00:23:13,875 --> 00:23:14,916 the pajama top, 424 00:23:15,750 --> 00:23:17,250 but the dog wasn't there, 425 00:23:18,208 --> 00:23:20,250 which was my primary focus, obviously. 426 00:23:21,000 --> 00:23:23,750 And I stop, look around, start listening closely, 427 00:23:23,833 --> 00:23:24,916 and I hear… 428 00:23:31,625 --> 00:23:34,541 I have a hallway here and a living room… 429 00:23:34,625 --> 00:23:37,583 Well, the living room. It's not like I have 17 living rooms. 430 00:23:38,250 --> 00:23:39,333 I go over, 431 00:23:39,416 --> 00:23:42,000 and on the floor near the sofa, I see… 432 00:23:42,083 --> 00:23:43,958 Look, I keep a blanket on the sofa. 433 00:23:44,041 --> 00:23:46,833 It's that typical blanket you use for a post-lunch nap. 434 00:23:46,916 --> 00:23:48,500 I'm Andalusian. What can I say? 435 00:23:50,875 --> 00:23:52,458 It must have been dangling down, 436 00:23:52,541 --> 00:23:55,458 and the dog must have used her mouth or paw to drag it down. 437 00:23:55,541 --> 00:23:58,458 Anyway, I saw the blanket on the floor, 438 00:23:58,541 --> 00:23:59,833 all bunched up, 439 00:24:00,541 --> 00:24:02,500 and the dog fast asleep on top of it, 440 00:24:02,583 --> 00:24:04,000 comfy as can be. 441 00:24:04,083 --> 00:24:06,833 I said, "Of course, the blanket smells like me." 442 00:24:06,916 --> 00:24:09,041 "The fucker self-medicated." 443 00:24:10,166 --> 00:24:11,083 Of course. 444 00:24:12,875 --> 00:24:14,791 And I said, "Well, as long as it worked…" 445 00:24:18,916 --> 00:24:22,166 I picked up the blanket, put it back on the sofa, spent the day with her, 446 00:24:22,250 --> 00:24:23,750 and the pajama trick again the next day. 447 00:24:23,833 --> 00:24:25,458 She did the blanket thing three more times. 448 00:24:25,541 --> 00:24:27,833 The fourth time, when I tried to put it back, 449 00:24:27,916 --> 00:24:30,291 she gave me a mob boss look like Joe Pesci, and said, 450 00:24:30,375 --> 00:24:32,458 "This blanket is mine now, for good." I went… 451 00:24:33,125 --> 00:24:35,583 And from then on, that blanket was hers. 452 00:24:35,666 --> 00:24:38,291 It stayed with her for the rest of her life, 453 00:24:38,375 --> 00:24:40,041 until the very end. 454 00:24:40,666 --> 00:24:44,333 And by then, of course, it smelled way more like her than it did like me. 455 00:24:44,416 --> 00:24:48,458 In case any of you have a new dog at home who's having a hard time, 456 00:24:48,541 --> 00:24:50,250 first, call a professional. 457 00:24:50,333 --> 00:24:53,541 And you should know there are some really helpful techniques out there. 458 00:24:54,041 --> 00:24:58,625 This is kind of a turning point in the show, okay? 459 00:24:58,708 --> 00:25:00,208 You've been a great audience. 460 00:25:00,291 --> 00:25:02,416 You've been holding my hand through all of this. 461 00:25:02,500 --> 00:25:06,250 So I want to thank you by sharing a confession with you. 462 00:25:06,333 --> 00:25:10,458 And you know it's true because this is the show that will be aired. 463 00:25:10,541 --> 00:25:12,958 I didn't release the other one. The audience sucked. 464 00:25:14,208 --> 00:25:15,416 This one will be aired. 465 00:25:19,250 --> 00:25:20,166 That's the truth. 466 00:25:27,375 --> 00:25:30,041 When you find out I said the same thing on the other show… 467 00:25:33,666 --> 00:25:36,500 I've got a confession for you. A little gift for you, okay? 468 00:25:36,583 --> 00:25:37,458 Attention. 469 00:25:38,916 --> 00:25:40,208 I'm a big fan, 470 00:25:40,875 --> 00:25:43,791 and I mean a huge fan. 471 00:25:47,625 --> 00:25:49,375 Damn, I've got you hooked, don't I? 472 00:25:51,583 --> 00:25:54,541 You'd join a fucking cult if I asked you to. 473 00:25:55,708 --> 00:25:57,291 Watch out. No, I'm kidding. 474 00:25:57,791 --> 00:25:59,000 Okay, here goes. 475 00:26:00,041 --> 00:26:02,666 I'm a huge, and I mean huge fan… 476 00:26:04,708 --> 00:26:05,750 of eating pussy. 477 00:26:09,208 --> 00:26:10,125 Huge fan. 478 00:26:12,708 --> 00:26:18,291 Eating pussy is probably one of my top ten favorite things in life. 479 00:26:21,333 --> 00:26:24,250 Imagine if I just changed topics. You'd go, "What's going on?" 480 00:26:24,333 --> 00:26:26,375 "He went from talking about trauma to pussy." 481 00:26:26,458 --> 00:26:29,000 Don't worry. Take my hand. Let's go to a safe place. 482 00:26:29,083 --> 00:26:30,333 Don't worry. 483 00:26:30,416 --> 00:26:31,333 Okay. 484 00:26:33,541 --> 00:26:35,916 Since I'm such a huge fan, 485 00:26:36,000 --> 00:26:38,166 whenever I get the chance, 486 00:26:38,250 --> 00:26:40,458 anytime the situation allows for it, 487 00:26:40,541 --> 00:26:42,500 I ask to do it, I make a request. 488 00:26:42,583 --> 00:26:45,500 Matthew 7:7, "Ask and you shall receive." It's in the Bible. 489 00:26:47,166 --> 00:26:50,333 And look, for whatever reason, in all these years, 490 00:26:50,416 --> 00:26:52,458 I think I'm just a very lucky person, 491 00:26:52,541 --> 00:26:56,250 I've been granted the opportunity enough times 492 00:26:56,333 --> 00:27:00,416 to be able to say I'm a fucking rock star when it comes to eating pussy. 493 00:27:00,500 --> 00:27:03,708 When it comes to eating pussy, nobody's got anything on me, okay? 494 00:27:03,791 --> 00:27:05,666 Nobody. 495 00:27:05,750 --> 00:27:06,833 Okay. 496 00:27:08,541 --> 00:27:09,666 Having said that… 497 00:27:11,083 --> 00:27:12,541 Having said that, 498 00:27:13,083 --> 00:27:16,666 I'd like to offer you all a little gift tonight. 499 00:27:24,416 --> 00:27:26,750 Your imagination really ran with that one, huh? 500 00:27:29,916 --> 00:27:33,208 I'd have a six-pack on my tongue by the end of the night. 501 00:27:33,916 --> 00:27:37,583 No. What I want to give you are a few tips, 502 00:27:38,916 --> 00:27:40,083 some advice, 503 00:27:41,291 --> 00:27:42,916 so that, from now on, 504 00:27:43,000 --> 00:27:46,541 whenever you dive into the beautiful act of cunnilingus, 505 00:27:46,625 --> 00:27:49,916 you can make it a much more satisfying experience, okay? 506 00:27:50,500 --> 00:27:53,166 You might be thinking, "Damn, Dani will give us advice 507 00:27:53,250 --> 00:27:54,750 on eating pussy better." 508 00:27:54,833 --> 00:27:55,708 No. 509 00:27:56,375 --> 00:27:58,375 No, that's not what this is about. 510 00:27:58,458 --> 00:28:01,166 My advice is 511 00:28:02,791 --> 00:28:05,833 for people who have a pussy and let us eat them out. 512 00:28:07,500 --> 00:28:09,791 Just switching perspectives here. Okay. 513 00:28:10,583 --> 00:28:16,125 Having said that, before we jump in, I feel like it's the perfect moment 514 00:28:16,208 --> 00:28:21,333 to begin with a brief bit of genital anatomy context, okay? 515 00:28:21,416 --> 00:28:23,875 I think it's necessary. You might say, "No, it's not." 516 00:28:23,958 --> 00:28:27,458 It's always necessary to give a bit of context, okay? 517 00:28:27,541 --> 00:28:30,250 Excuse me if I get a bit technical, okay? 518 00:28:33,916 --> 00:28:35,125 What is a dick? 519 00:28:36,875 --> 00:28:39,625 I'm going to say "dick" and "pussy" a lot. Excuse me. 520 00:28:39,708 --> 00:28:42,916 They're just three syllables, just like any other repeated word. 521 00:28:43,000 --> 00:28:43,833 We're adults here. 522 00:28:43,916 --> 00:28:46,750 No need for euphemisms if there's already a word for something. 523 00:28:46,833 --> 00:28:48,291 What is a dick? 524 00:28:48,375 --> 00:28:52,000 The dick is one of the human body's anatomical-genital devices, 525 00:28:52,083 --> 00:28:54,083 located just below the pubic area. 526 00:28:54,166 --> 00:28:56,500 It's a part of the body that sticks out, okay? 527 00:28:56,583 --> 00:28:59,625 Some stick out more, and others you need a mirror for. 528 00:29:01,166 --> 00:29:02,000 Look. 529 00:29:09,125 --> 00:29:11,083 And since I love names and metaphors… 530 00:29:11,166 --> 00:29:12,625 Look, if I was a cathedral… 531 00:29:12,708 --> 00:29:14,666 Picture this. If I was a cathedral, 532 00:29:14,750 --> 00:29:16,791 it would be the gargoyle, okay? 533 00:29:17,500 --> 00:29:19,541 Cathedrals and gargoyles… Plenty to go around. 534 00:29:19,625 --> 00:29:21,708 How many times have you seen a huge cathedral, 535 00:29:21,791 --> 00:29:23,833 and the gargoyle ends up disappointing? 536 00:29:24,625 --> 00:29:26,666 Or maybe you see a little parish church, 537 00:29:26,750 --> 00:29:28,833 and the gargoyle can't fit through the door. 538 00:29:28,916 --> 00:29:31,375 Or maybe you see a cathedral. "Where's the gargoyle?" 539 00:29:31,458 --> 00:29:35,291 It has one, but since the cathedral hasn't been well-kept and is overgrown, 540 00:29:35,375 --> 00:29:36,208 you can't see it. 541 00:29:36,291 --> 00:29:37,666 That needs to be trimmed. 542 00:29:37,750 --> 00:29:40,250 Or maybe the cathedral wall is so smooth 543 00:29:40,333 --> 00:29:42,208 that you can see the gargoyle from Albacete. 544 00:29:42,291 --> 00:29:45,250 Some gargoyles have big heads. Some gargoyles look sad. 545 00:29:45,333 --> 00:29:47,791 Some gargoyles tilt one way, some the other way. 546 00:29:47,875 --> 00:29:50,416 Some gargoyles have lost their firmness over the years. 547 00:29:50,500 --> 00:29:52,750 You've got the micro-gargoyle, the pencil one… 548 00:29:52,833 --> 00:29:54,750 There are so many types of gargoyles. 549 00:29:55,250 --> 00:29:56,833 And all of them are beautiful. 550 00:29:56,916 --> 00:29:59,708 And all of them deserve to feel pleasure, okay? 551 00:30:00,958 --> 00:30:02,000 Also, I think 552 00:30:03,000 --> 00:30:06,875 the dick is a much more accessible body part, right? 553 00:30:06,958 --> 00:30:10,416 We wear clothes, but if we walked around nude… 554 00:30:10,500 --> 00:30:13,500 Personally, I enjoy going to a nude beach in the summer from time to time. 555 00:30:13,583 --> 00:30:16,916 I like the feeling of being naked. "Which beach?" As if I'd tell you. 556 00:30:19,000 --> 00:30:21,291 I always go to this one beach with a buddy of mine. 557 00:30:21,375 --> 00:30:23,250 He always shows up after I do. 558 00:30:23,333 --> 00:30:25,666 And he's already naked when he steps out of his car. 559 00:30:26,500 --> 00:30:27,833 He's already naked, okay? 560 00:30:27,916 --> 00:30:30,250 That means I'm on the beach, and I see him coming, 561 00:30:30,333 --> 00:30:32,291 and he's carrying a cooler, an umbrella, 562 00:30:32,375 --> 00:30:34,333 with a bag here… I mean, his hands are full. 563 00:30:34,416 --> 00:30:37,666 So he walks up to me, says hello, but doesn't put anything down. 564 00:30:39,708 --> 00:30:42,333 "What's up, Dani? How's it going?" I mean, I'm like… 565 00:30:43,250 --> 00:30:46,208 I'm not gonna kiss him on the cheek. I go, "How's it hanging?" 566 00:30:54,541 --> 00:30:57,208 Picture a modern monarchy, but it's a nudist colony. 567 00:30:57,291 --> 00:31:00,541 You show up at a royal reception. "Hi, how's it going? How are you?" 568 00:31:01,041 --> 00:31:03,250 "Good day, Your Majesty. How art thou?" 569 00:31:05,166 --> 00:31:06,250 Or in the metro. 570 00:31:06,333 --> 00:31:07,958 Imagine you're in the metro. 571 00:31:08,041 --> 00:31:09,958 Someone says to you, "Are you holding on?' 572 00:31:10,041 --> 00:31:12,250 You go, "Yeah." "That makes two of us. Let's go." 573 00:31:12,750 --> 00:31:15,000 "Hit me with those sharp turns." Am I right? 574 00:31:16,291 --> 00:31:17,333 Anyway… 575 00:31:18,583 --> 00:31:19,875 What is a pussy? 576 00:31:21,041 --> 00:31:24,833 The pussy is the human body's other anatomical-genital device, 577 00:31:24,916 --> 00:31:26,958 but instead of being at the lower pubic area, 578 00:31:27,041 --> 00:31:29,458 it's tucked away a bit lower down 579 00:31:29,541 --> 00:31:33,041 in an area I like to call the Aragonese perineal region, okay? 580 00:31:34,500 --> 00:31:37,166 From the outside, it's a little more modest, 581 00:31:37,250 --> 00:31:38,458 a bit more discreet. 582 00:31:38,541 --> 00:31:41,541 The pussy is more contained. 583 00:31:42,458 --> 00:31:43,333 Well… 584 00:31:47,875 --> 00:31:50,958 I've seen pussies that look like a cold-cut sandwich made in a hurry. 585 00:31:52,708 --> 00:31:55,000 And all you get is a mouth full of deli meat. 586 00:31:55,083 --> 00:31:56,916 A bit of bread wouldn't hurt. 587 00:31:57,000 --> 00:31:58,750 But all pussies are beautiful, 588 00:31:58,833 --> 00:32:01,666 and all of them deserve to feel pleasure, okay? 589 00:32:04,125 --> 00:32:06,500 I would say, ergonomically, 590 00:32:07,083 --> 00:32:10,250 sucking a dick is a lot more accessible. 591 00:32:10,333 --> 00:32:12,250 I think there are more easy techniques. 592 00:32:12,333 --> 00:32:16,333 You don't have to be in perfect shape to suck a dick without doing gymnastics. 593 00:32:16,416 --> 00:32:17,750 Here's someone with a dick. 594 00:32:17,833 --> 00:32:20,125 You say, "Hey." Good vibes. "Can I suck your dick?" 595 00:32:20,208 --> 00:32:21,958 They go, "Sure, suck my dick." You go… 596 00:32:22,041 --> 00:32:23,583 You just bend down like this… 597 00:32:24,250 --> 00:32:27,000 You can do this or do this. Even without your hands. 598 00:32:27,083 --> 00:32:29,541 If they're lying down, like this, with or without hands. 599 00:32:29,625 --> 00:32:34,083 If they're standing facing the other way, you can steer your ship around the back. 600 00:32:34,166 --> 00:32:36,375 I would think sucking a dick is a lot more fun. 601 00:32:36,458 --> 00:32:38,666 I would think, right? That's what I've heard. 602 00:32:41,250 --> 00:32:43,000 No, wait. Let me tell you something. 603 00:32:43,083 --> 00:32:45,916 I've been having so much fun lately that I might come next year 604 00:32:46,000 --> 00:32:48,083 and tell you what it was like. 605 00:32:48,166 --> 00:32:49,041 Careful now. 606 00:32:49,125 --> 00:32:52,291 Don't let heterosexuality stop you from having fun. 607 00:32:52,375 --> 00:32:54,541 We only live once. Careful now. 608 00:32:56,916 --> 00:32:58,791 If you suck a dick, it is what it is. 609 00:33:04,333 --> 00:33:05,291 However, 610 00:33:06,208 --> 00:33:10,333 eating a pussy, if the owner of said pussy doesn't help you out a little, 611 00:33:10,416 --> 00:33:11,541 ergonomically, 612 00:33:11,625 --> 00:33:13,583 it's a bit more complicated. 613 00:33:13,666 --> 00:33:15,000 The same situation, right? 614 00:33:15,083 --> 00:33:17,833 You're with someone who has a pussy. You're vibing. 615 00:33:17,916 --> 00:33:19,916 "Want me to eat your pussy?" "Go for it." 616 00:33:20,000 --> 00:33:23,500 And usually, the person goes like this. "Okay, eat my pussy." 617 00:33:31,208 --> 00:33:32,583 And you're looking at them… 618 00:33:33,666 --> 00:33:35,916 You look at them, and it makes you want to say, 619 00:33:36,000 --> 00:33:38,458 "It looks like Squidward fell from the fifth floor." 620 00:33:39,583 --> 00:33:41,875 You kick them like this, saying, "Hey, girl." 621 00:33:41,958 --> 00:33:45,333 You're not sure if you should perform cunnilingus or call a coroner. 622 00:33:45,875 --> 00:33:47,458 Okay, whatever. She's no help. 623 00:33:47,541 --> 00:33:50,875 But since I enjoy doing it so much, I'll do the work for the both of us. 624 00:33:50,958 --> 00:33:51,875 And then, 625 00:33:52,583 --> 00:33:56,458 the position itself is uncomfortable from the get-go. 626 00:33:56,541 --> 00:33:57,583 Excuse me, guys. 627 00:33:57,666 --> 00:34:00,583 Suddenly, you're like this. Take a look at… 628 00:34:03,083 --> 00:34:05,958 The position is awkward because the person is… because… 629 00:34:08,250 --> 00:34:09,625 And since the lights are off, 630 00:34:09,708 --> 00:34:11,666 instead of poking around to find everything, 631 00:34:11,750 --> 00:34:14,958 you start nudging around with your face. 632 00:34:15,041 --> 00:34:17,958 You're nudging around with your face… 633 00:34:18,041 --> 00:34:19,791 Picture a truffle hog, okay? 634 00:34:20,500 --> 00:34:22,458 Searching… You're in there… 635 00:34:22,541 --> 00:34:25,000 But the position is super awkward. 636 00:34:26,208 --> 00:34:28,500 It's super awkward, and it makes you want to say, 637 00:34:28,583 --> 00:34:30,958 "Damn, help me out a bit. Tuck in your tailbone." 638 00:34:31,458 --> 00:34:34,958 "Tilt your hips back a bit, you know? Help me out with the angle, okay?" 639 00:34:35,041 --> 00:34:38,541 And on top of that, as soon as they feel that first nice little tingle, 640 00:34:38,625 --> 00:34:40,583 what do they usually do? They go… 641 00:34:40,666 --> 00:34:42,750 And they turn and contract it in even more. 642 00:34:43,250 --> 00:34:45,875 You're no longer a truffle hog. 643 00:34:45,958 --> 00:34:47,541 You've turned into an anteater. 644 00:34:48,500 --> 00:34:50,875 If they get up and leave and somebody else comes in, 645 00:34:50,958 --> 00:34:53,416 they'll see a man drinking from a puddle on the ground. 646 00:34:53,500 --> 00:34:54,416 "Hi." 647 00:34:55,375 --> 00:34:58,291 "Is there a drought here?" Anyway… Let me tell you something. 648 00:34:58,375 --> 00:35:02,416 Human beings have something called cervical vertebrae, all right? 649 00:35:03,750 --> 00:35:06,250 At a certain point, they stop extending. 650 00:35:07,125 --> 00:35:10,875 You'll be down there for 10, 15 minutes, half an hour, whatever it takes! 651 00:35:13,833 --> 00:35:16,500 But when you're done, your neck is like… 652 00:35:17,916 --> 00:35:20,208 You end up with a full-on prolapse. 653 00:35:20,291 --> 00:35:22,958 "Did you like it?" "Yes. What's wrong with your neck?" 654 00:35:23,041 --> 00:35:24,875 "I'm about to have a violin class." 655 00:35:24,958 --> 00:35:26,958 "Once you leave, I'll just stick it in here." 656 00:35:27,041 --> 00:35:29,625 You can be like this for a week. "What do I do now?" 657 00:35:30,458 --> 00:35:32,333 I'll go apartment hunting. Look. 658 00:35:32,833 --> 00:35:34,083 "For sale, fourth floor." 659 00:35:35,916 --> 00:35:38,666 While I have you here… 660 00:35:41,291 --> 00:35:42,291 For fuck's sake! 661 00:35:43,375 --> 00:35:44,375 Okay. 662 00:35:49,375 --> 00:35:50,333 Second tip. 663 00:35:51,375 --> 00:35:54,083 I know you've been complaining your whole lives, 664 00:35:54,166 --> 00:35:55,625 and for good reason, 665 00:35:55,708 --> 00:35:58,208 that your partners have always been self-centered, 666 00:35:58,291 --> 00:36:00,500 that they have always been selfish, 667 00:36:00,583 --> 00:36:02,916 that their pleasure is more important than yours, 668 00:36:03,000 --> 00:36:05,291 that when they finish, it's all over. 669 00:36:05,375 --> 00:36:08,000 And you're right. It's been that way for many years. 670 00:36:08,083 --> 00:36:10,875 But thankfully, we're finally living in a time 671 00:36:10,958 --> 00:36:13,875 of progress, of equality, of open-mindedness, 672 00:36:13,958 --> 00:36:16,291 of generosity in general. 673 00:36:16,375 --> 00:36:17,583 And that's really cool. 674 00:36:17,666 --> 00:36:20,458 If you'd have said "clitoris" to me 25 years ago, 675 00:36:20,541 --> 00:36:22,208 I might have said, "Water Pokémon!" 676 00:36:25,041 --> 00:36:27,416 But now I can tell you, 677 00:36:27,500 --> 00:36:31,500 "Did you know that the clitoris is the only organ in the human body 678 00:36:31,583 --> 00:36:35,833 that is exclusively designed to receive pleasure?" 679 00:36:36,333 --> 00:36:37,166 -Damn! -Yes! 680 00:36:37,250 --> 00:36:38,625 "Yes," she says. Of course. 681 00:36:40,333 --> 00:36:42,000 And she only has one hand raised. 682 00:36:44,500 --> 00:36:47,708 Shit, if that's how it is, let's make the most of it, right? 683 00:36:47,791 --> 00:36:50,666 I mean, when you are about to perform cunnilingus, 684 00:36:50,750 --> 00:36:51,833 a pussy buffet, 685 00:36:51,916 --> 00:36:54,750 the clitoris is always right here for me, okay? 686 00:36:54,833 --> 00:36:56,833 I mean, not literally. Well, sometimes. 687 00:36:59,000 --> 00:37:03,291 But you need to find it, of course. 688 00:37:03,375 --> 00:37:04,500 It's not like you say… 689 00:37:04,583 --> 00:37:06,458 Look, if it's a familiar pussy… 690 00:37:06,541 --> 00:37:08,375 I mean, "familiar." Hold on. 691 00:37:11,833 --> 00:37:13,375 You're fam… I mean… 692 00:37:13,958 --> 00:37:16,666 Someone you're familiar with. Fucking Spanish! 693 00:37:17,250 --> 00:37:20,416 I mean, you take the first few seconds to get acquainted with the map. 694 00:37:20,500 --> 00:37:22,666 Every pussy is its own world. Remember that. 695 00:37:24,333 --> 00:37:26,458 So you're all up in there, and suddenly… 696 00:37:26,541 --> 00:37:29,833 I'm not talking about finding the G-spot, but you look for the clitoris. 697 00:37:29,916 --> 00:37:30,791 You look for… 698 00:37:30,875 --> 00:37:33,541 When you find it, you say, "That's it!" No, that's not it. 699 00:37:33,625 --> 00:37:34,708 "That's it, then." No. 700 00:37:34,791 --> 00:37:37,416 You're not a cow licking a post. 701 00:37:38,000 --> 00:37:38,958 You have to be… 702 00:37:39,041 --> 00:37:42,625 It's not one-size-fits-all. A bit over here, a little pressure here. 703 00:37:42,708 --> 00:37:45,000 You listen, observe. It's very magical. 704 00:37:45,083 --> 00:37:47,916 And after two or three minutes, just when you've got it down, 705 00:37:48,000 --> 00:37:49,875 right when they start to get into it, 706 00:37:49,958 --> 00:37:51,375 they go, "Ay!" 707 00:37:51,458 --> 00:37:54,583 They go, "Uy!" And they slide half a meter away from you. 708 00:37:54,666 --> 00:37:56,000 And you're there like… 709 00:37:57,708 --> 00:38:00,250 With a bridge hanging out of your mouth, and you say, 710 00:38:01,083 --> 00:38:04,291 "Damn, I should've dropped a pin or marked the location." 711 00:38:04,375 --> 00:38:07,208 It's like when you're reading Don Quijote and you drop it, 712 00:38:07,291 --> 00:38:10,958 and you go, "I didn't leave a bookmark. I have no fucking clue where I was." 713 00:38:12,166 --> 00:38:14,791 I understand if you enjoy it, you might move around, 714 00:38:14,875 --> 00:38:16,708 but please, don't move. 715 00:38:16,791 --> 00:38:19,416 I started eating pussy over here, and I ended up over here. 716 00:38:19,500 --> 00:38:23,500 I look like a Roomba looking for its charging station. Please! 717 00:38:31,458 --> 00:38:32,333 Third tip. 718 00:38:32,833 --> 00:38:36,000 Don't say anything important while we're down there. 719 00:38:38,750 --> 00:38:40,000 It's hard to hear. 720 00:38:42,125 --> 00:38:43,875 The message gets distorted. 721 00:38:46,041 --> 00:38:48,625 There've been plenty of mornings when I've heard, 722 00:38:49,500 --> 00:38:51,041 "Hey, didn't you buy coffee?" 723 00:38:53,291 --> 00:38:55,208 "I didn't know we needed coffee." 724 00:38:55,750 --> 00:38:57,250 "I told you last night." 725 00:38:57,333 --> 00:38:58,541 "Last night, when?" 726 00:38:58,625 --> 00:39:01,083 "Last night when you were down there…" I go, "Ah." 727 00:39:01,958 --> 00:39:04,750 "I heard lots of things. I didn't understand any of them." 728 00:39:04,833 --> 00:39:07,416 I was down there, and I heard something like… 729 00:39:09,541 --> 00:39:10,375 I was like… 730 00:39:14,875 --> 00:39:18,166 "I thought you'd gone crazy and were singing a Maluma song." 731 00:39:19,208 --> 00:39:22,166 And finally, the fourth and most important tip. 732 00:39:24,166 --> 00:39:27,958 It's not a fairy tale. It's not a fantasy. It's not an urban legend. 733 00:39:28,041 --> 00:39:29,875 No. It's a reality. 734 00:39:29,958 --> 00:39:32,375 You can reach orgasm 735 00:39:32,875 --> 00:39:34,625 through cunnilingus. 736 00:39:34,708 --> 00:39:36,250 It's a beautiful thing. 737 00:39:36,333 --> 00:39:39,291 It's a goal we should always be aiming for. 738 00:39:39,375 --> 00:39:41,375 It's the shit. I mean, come on. 739 00:39:41,958 --> 00:39:43,125 But let me tell you, 740 00:39:44,041 --> 00:39:45,166 if you ever 741 00:39:46,500 --> 00:39:49,791 reach orgasm through cunnilingus, 742 00:39:51,166 --> 00:39:52,791 please never forget… 743 00:39:55,875 --> 00:39:56,958 This is very serious. 744 00:39:58,625 --> 00:39:59,791 Never forget 745 00:40:01,416 --> 00:40:03,375 that what you have between your legs… 746 00:40:07,291 --> 00:40:08,625 is a human being 747 00:40:10,375 --> 00:40:12,791 who wants to continue to live their life. 748 00:40:14,833 --> 00:40:15,750 Please. 749 00:40:18,416 --> 00:40:21,666 Because I can understand that when you realize there's something 750 00:40:21,750 --> 00:40:23,583 between your legs that gives you pleasure, 751 00:40:23,666 --> 00:40:27,083 your survival instinct kicks in like a bear trap, and you go, 752 00:40:27,166 --> 00:40:29,666 "I want you all to myself for the rest of my life." 753 00:40:29,750 --> 00:40:31,875 But keep in mind, that person has feelings, 754 00:40:31,958 --> 00:40:36,541 and they need a certain level of oxygen to get to their brain, okay? 755 00:40:36,625 --> 00:40:40,625 I've seen my life flash before my eyes four or five times in these situations. 756 00:40:40,708 --> 00:40:42,208 I'm telling the truth. 757 00:40:44,041 --> 00:40:47,625 I won't eat a pussy unless I have a jack holding up the bed. 758 00:40:52,458 --> 00:40:54,375 I've done it all. I've played dead. 759 00:40:54,458 --> 00:40:57,166 "Maybe if she sees dead prey, she'll get bored and open up." 760 00:40:57,666 --> 00:40:59,166 I've rubbed Vaseline behind my ears 761 00:40:59,250 --> 00:41:03,208 like you do to the dumb kid so his head won't get stuck in the banister. 762 00:41:03,291 --> 00:41:05,916 Once, I went… and stuck a melon in so she wouldn't notice. 763 00:41:06,000 --> 00:41:08,416 And the melon went "boom!" It could have been me! 764 00:41:10,041 --> 00:41:11,541 You've gone completely overboard 765 00:41:11,625 --> 00:41:15,250 with the Body Pump, with Pilates, with CrossFit. 766 00:41:15,333 --> 00:41:16,208 Please! 767 00:41:16,750 --> 00:41:17,583 Please. 768 00:41:19,250 --> 00:41:20,083 Please. 769 00:41:22,541 --> 00:41:24,708 Don't bite the hand that feeds you. 770 00:41:27,708 --> 00:41:32,250 Okay, I am sharing these tips with you 771 00:41:32,333 --> 00:41:34,708 with the intention that, starting today, 772 00:41:34,791 --> 00:41:36,541 this city and whoever sees this 773 00:41:36,625 --> 00:41:40,208 can lead a more joyful life when engaging in cunnilingus. 774 00:41:40,291 --> 00:41:42,541 I just want people to be happy. 775 00:41:42,625 --> 00:41:43,916 People are so angry. 776 00:41:45,625 --> 00:41:49,291 But I know there's always that group who always has a "but." 777 00:41:49,375 --> 00:41:50,625 They go, "Okay, sure." 778 00:41:50,708 --> 00:41:55,458 "Advice for people who own a pussy. But… what about people with dicks?" 779 00:41:55,541 --> 00:41:58,083 "When you get a blowjob, you do everything you need to do?" 780 00:41:58,166 --> 00:42:01,458 I go, "Me? Excuse me, but I definitely pull my weight." 781 00:42:02,208 --> 00:42:04,291 I really do pull my weight. 782 00:42:04,375 --> 00:42:07,416 Like what? Things like availability, for example. 783 00:42:10,041 --> 00:42:11,416 I always agree to it. 784 00:42:11,500 --> 00:42:14,208 One time I didn't, but it was during confession. 785 00:42:15,958 --> 00:42:16,916 And then… 786 00:42:21,291 --> 00:42:22,833 I have to say 787 00:42:22,916 --> 00:42:25,333 that over 90% of the times 788 00:42:25,416 --> 00:42:29,083 that someone has offered to give me a blowjob, 789 00:42:29,166 --> 00:42:31,583 they usually have long hair, okay? 790 00:42:31,666 --> 00:42:34,666 And often, they don't tie their hair back. 791 00:42:34,750 --> 00:42:35,833 What happens then? 792 00:42:35,916 --> 00:42:39,500 As you watch them treat you to that amazing pleasure, 793 00:42:39,583 --> 00:42:41,250 you see them down there like… 794 00:42:47,416 --> 00:42:49,875 Do you seriously watch them do that 795 00:42:50,750 --> 00:42:52,208 and not do anything about it? 796 00:42:52,958 --> 00:42:55,083 I always… 797 00:43:00,583 --> 00:43:01,500 And I… 798 00:43:04,083 --> 00:43:07,666 And I say, "You just focus on the task at hand. I'll…" 799 00:43:07,750 --> 00:43:09,833 And I put it in a ponytail, of course. 800 00:43:09,916 --> 00:43:12,625 There have been times when they finish, they look in the mirror, 801 00:43:12,708 --> 00:43:14,791 and they say, "Caribbean braids?" And I go… 802 00:43:22,041 --> 00:43:24,458 "If you have more time tomorrow, I'll dye it." 803 00:43:29,250 --> 00:43:31,708 One of the tools that has helped me 804 00:43:32,208 --> 00:43:35,250 to get through depression, I'm not ashamed to admit it, 805 00:43:35,333 --> 00:43:37,166 is magical thinking, okay? 806 00:43:37,250 --> 00:43:41,416 I know a lot of people hear that and go, "Dani, that stuff, magical thinking…" 807 00:43:41,500 --> 00:43:44,375 There are people who don't believe in it or who… Look. 808 00:43:44,958 --> 00:43:48,541 Magical thinking exists, whether or not we believe in it or know what it is. 809 00:43:48,625 --> 00:43:50,666 It has existed for hundreds of years. 810 00:43:50,750 --> 00:43:53,791 We've all done some type of magical thinking without knowing. 811 00:43:53,875 --> 00:43:56,000 For example, it's your birthday. 812 00:43:56,541 --> 00:43:59,291 And you get a cake with candles. The candles are lit. 813 00:43:59,375 --> 00:44:02,708 Your family and friends are singing "Happy Birthday." 814 00:44:02,791 --> 00:44:05,208 And when the song is over, 815 00:44:05,291 --> 00:44:08,083 you go to blow out the candles, and they all go, "No, wait!" 816 00:44:08,583 --> 00:44:09,583 "Make a wish." 817 00:44:10,791 --> 00:44:13,416 Even though you don't believe in it, you go, "Okay, sure." 818 00:44:13,500 --> 00:44:15,833 You think, "They're so pushy. I'll think of a wish." 819 00:44:15,916 --> 00:44:18,958 And while you're at it, you think of a dope one. 820 00:44:19,041 --> 00:44:21,166 You think, "Just in case." 821 00:44:22,500 --> 00:44:23,708 That's magical thinking. 822 00:44:24,291 --> 00:44:26,666 Magical thinking is like, one afternoon, 823 00:44:26,750 --> 00:44:30,875 you've got some sort of challenge or event 824 00:44:30,958 --> 00:44:33,416 that has you a bit worried, that's difficult, 825 00:44:33,500 --> 00:44:35,958 and, I don't know, you have a dress or a shirt 826 00:44:36,041 --> 00:44:38,833 that you feel an emotional connection to for whatever reason. 827 00:44:38,916 --> 00:44:41,125 It gives you good luck, good vibes, good energy. 828 00:44:41,208 --> 00:44:44,958 And you say, "I'll put on this dress today because it will help me deal with that." 829 00:44:45,041 --> 00:44:46,541 That's magical thinking. 830 00:44:46,625 --> 00:44:49,958 Magical thinking is when you're at home drinking your morning coffee, 831 00:44:50,041 --> 00:44:51,125 and you feel like shit, 832 00:44:51,208 --> 00:44:53,708 and your mug has one of those corny little phrases 833 00:44:53,791 --> 00:44:55,500 everyone always rolls their eyes at. 834 00:44:55,583 --> 00:44:59,875 But if that corny little phrase helps you step outside feeling a little better, 835 00:44:59,958 --> 00:45:01,208 that's magical thinking. 836 00:45:01,291 --> 00:45:03,416 And it's real because it helps you. 837 00:45:03,500 --> 00:45:06,083 If it helps you, use whatever magical thinking you want. 838 00:45:06,166 --> 00:45:08,833 For example, I have always used magical thinking. 839 00:45:08,916 --> 00:45:11,250 But during this rough patch, I've used it even more. 840 00:45:11,333 --> 00:45:13,083 I've used it a lot more. 841 00:45:13,166 --> 00:45:14,833 For example, when I'm exercising. 842 00:45:14,916 --> 00:45:17,750 I love exercising, training. I studied sports science. 843 00:45:17,833 --> 00:45:19,750 But the truth is, during that time, 844 00:45:19,833 --> 00:45:25,000 since your brain's chemistry is off, your whole body feels it. 845 00:45:25,083 --> 00:45:26,791 You can't perform. You feel awful. 846 00:45:26,875 --> 00:45:29,333 The sadness just shuts you down. 847 00:45:29,416 --> 00:45:31,416 I would go running at Retiro Park, 848 00:45:31,500 --> 00:45:34,458 and one day, a mime passed me. I said, "That's sad!" 849 00:45:35,041 --> 00:45:35,916 "That's sad." 850 00:45:36,416 --> 00:45:39,375 I really enjoy running down the Madrid Río, right? 851 00:45:39,458 --> 00:45:42,625 And I remember, one day, I was running. I had run a kilometer. 852 00:45:42,708 --> 00:45:44,958 And I was like, "Man, I can't run anymore." 853 00:45:45,041 --> 00:45:47,833 I wanted to cry. I had nothing left. 854 00:45:47,916 --> 00:45:48,791 I went… 855 00:45:48,875 --> 00:45:51,875 I went, "Dani, come on, man. Do some magical thinking." 856 00:45:51,958 --> 00:45:53,166 I was like, "Come on." 857 00:45:53,250 --> 00:45:55,541 And I looked ahead down the path, 858 00:45:55,625 --> 00:45:57,083 and about 500 meters away, 859 00:45:57,583 --> 00:45:59,250 there was a tunnel, okay? 860 00:45:59,333 --> 00:46:00,750 Or a bridge, I don't know. 861 00:46:02,666 --> 00:46:04,416 It was about 500 meters away. 862 00:46:04,500 --> 00:46:05,750 And I said to myself, 863 00:46:06,333 --> 00:46:07,875 "Okay, if I make it there 864 00:46:08,583 --> 00:46:10,916 in the next two and a half minutes…" 865 00:46:12,250 --> 00:46:13,791 I made it up on the spot. 866 00:46:13,875 --> 00:46:14,791 I said, 867 00:46:15,583 --> 00:46:17,208 "My parents will be freed, 868 00:46:18,291 --> 00:46:20,208 who have been kidnapped 869 00:46:21,791 --> 00:46:22,875 in Colombia 870 00:46:24,500 --> 00:46:26,958 by a drug cartel." 871 00:46:28,291 --> 00:46:29,250 It's not true, 872 00:46:29,791 --> 00:46:31,458 but I believed it. 873 00:46:31,541 --> 00:46:34,958 You should've seen me running down the Madrid Río that day. 874 00:46:35,041 --> 00:46:36,291 I was like, 875 00:46:36,375 --> 00:46:39,375 "My parents!" 876 00:46:39,458 --> 00:46:41,666 I reach the bridge. Boom! Two and a half minutes. 877 00:46:41,750 --> 00:46:43,833 Does magical thinking work or not? 878 00:46:44,625 --> 00:46:47,375 I made it. I mean, it wasn't actually true. 879 00:46:47,458 --> 00:46:48,875 Obviously, I made it up. 880 00:46:48,958 --> 00:46:51,125 My parents are still being held hostage, I mean. 881 00:47:02,000 --> 00:47:04,083 I'm going to ask you for a little favor. 882 00:47:04,875 --> 00:47:08,458 Raise your hand if you have a significant other. 883 00:47:08,541 --> 00:47:11,541 You don't have to be with them here, but if you have one. 884 00:47:11,625 --> 00:47:15,000 Don't worry. We won't get personal. I just want to get a picture of… 885 00:47:15,083 --> 00:47:17,166 Raise your hand if you have a significant other. 886 00:47:18,166 --> 00:47:19,041 Okay. 887 00:47:19,125 --> 00:47:22,291 Yeah, it's usually around half of you, maybe a few more, maybe less. 888 00:47:22,375 --> 00:47:23,708 There's strange behavior. 889 00:47:24,208 --> 00:47:26,500 Okay, thanks. Sometimes someone raises their hand, 890 00:47:26,583 --> 00:47:28,416 they look over, "What?" "Oh, we're not…" 891 00:47:30,500 --> 00:47:31,500 A type of limbo. 892 00:47:31,583 --> 00:47:35,166 If that's the case, I'll add an asterisk, "See 'wants to date me.'" 893 00:47:35,250 --> 00:47:36,458 That clears things up. 894 00:47:38,875 --> 00:47:40,916 I'm going to tell you an uncomfortable truth. 895 00:47:41,833 --> 00:47:44,000 And this is the only absolute truth 896 00:47:44,583 --> 00:47:45,916 I will share tonight. 897 00:47:47,500 --> 00:47:49,625 All couples lie to each other. 898 00:47:51,750 --> 00:47:52,625 All of them. 899 00:47:54,125 --> 00:47:55,666 Does anyone disagree? 900 00:48:00,083 --> 00:48:00,958 Okay. 901 00:48:01,916 --> 00:48:05,875 But look, I'm going to park that thought for now. Okay? 902 00:48:06,541 --> 00:48:09,291 I'm gonna be like one of those chefs you see on TV. 903 00:48:09,375 --> 00:48:10,625 They're mixing a sauce and say, 904 00:48:10,708 --> 00:48:14,000 "And we will set this sauce aside for later…" 905 00:48:15,750 --> 00:48:16,750 It's over there, okay? 906 00:48:16,833 --> 00:48:18,458 I won't forget. It's over there. 907 00:48:19,208 --> 00:48:22,916 Okay, I have another tool I want to share with you. 908 00:48:23,916 --> 00:48:24,958 Meditation. 909 00:48:25,041 --> 00:48:27,083 Meditation has really helped me. 910 00:48:27,166 --> 00:48:31,583 Some people hear "meditation" and say, "Dani, that whole meditation thing…" 911 00:48:32,083 --> 00:48:33,416 "That's for yogis, right?" 912 00:48:33,500 --> 00:48:35,833 "Those spiritual people who get in weird poses." 913 00:48:35,916 --> 00:48:37,041 No. 914 00:48:37,125 --> 00:48:38,458 Anyone can meditate. 915 00:48:38,541 --> 00:48:39,791 I meditate, so… 916 00:48:39,875 --> 00:48:42,625 I even have an app on my phone that has guided meditations. 917 00:48:42,708 --> 00:48:44,708 And that's it. It's not complicated. 918 00:48:44,791 --> 00:48:45,958 You just have to do it. 919 00:48:46,041 --> 00:48:48,208 How can I explain 920 00:48:48,291 --> 00:48:51,541 what meditation means to me in just a few words? 921 00:48:51,625 --> 00:48:52,458 To me. 922 00:48:52,958 --> 00:48:56,291 For me, meditating is about deciding to… 923 00:48:56,375 --> 00:48:59,083 setting aside five, ten, maybe fifteen minutes a day, 924 00:48:59,166 --> 00:49:00,375 no need for more, 925 00:49:00,458 --> 00:49:04,541 where you choose to focus completely on yourself 926 00:49:04,625 --> 00:49:08,000 and turn down the noise outside 927 00:49:08,500 --> 00:49:10,666 so you can face the noise inside, 928 00:49:10,750 --> 00:49:13,375 which can sometimes be even louder, right? 929 00:49:13,875 --> 00:49:16,958 And during that time that you focus on yourself, 930 00:49:17,500 --> 00:49:19,625 the exercise is basically about 931 00:49:20,625 --> 00:49:23,416 becoming aware of yourself, of the here and now, right? 932 00:49:23,500 --> 00:49:26,833 Trying not to let your mind wander off to anything else. 933 00:49:27,875 --> 00:49:31,750 Just your body, the room, your posture. 934 00:49:31,833 --> 00:49:34,000 There are anchors that help with that, 935 00:49:34,083 --> 00:49:35,833 like breathing, for example. 936 00:49:35,916 --> 00:49:39,708 If you stay focused on your breath during meditation, 937 00:49:39,791 --> 00:49:43,750 what could be more here and now than your own breathing, right? 938 00:49:43,833 --> 00:49:46,250 And… look, I'm gonna give you a quick demo, 939 00:49:46,750 --> 00:49:51,083 a little slice of what meditation looks like in my daily life, okay? 940 00:49:51,166 --> 00:49:54,625 What you're about to hear is basically my internal monologue, 941 00:49:54,708 --> 00:49:57,625 like my thoughts spoken out loud, okay? 942 00:49:57,708 --> 00:49:59,000 It starts with a gong, 943 00:49:59,083 --> 00:50:00,500 ends with another gong, 944 00:50:00,583 --> 00:50:05,000 and the posture should be comfortable but upright, okay? 945 00:50:06,083 --> 00:50:09,250 You can sit on the floor with a cushion or in a chair… 946 00:50:09,333 --> 00:50:12,333 It doesn't have to be too crazy. It goes something like this. 947 00:50:22,416 --> 00:50:24,583 Well, let's see how the day goes. 948 00:50:25,916 --> 00:50:28,333 Let's start with the breathing. Okay. 949 00:50:29,333 --> 00:50:30,166 Let's go. 950 00:50:30,666 --> 00:50:31,625 Breathe. 951 00:50:32,583 --> 00:50:33,916 Inspire. 952 00:50:36,958 --> 00:50:38,083 Expire. 953 00:50:39,958 --> 00:50:41,458 Inspire. 954 00:50:41,541 --> 00:50:42,833 Inspire. 955 00:50:43,375 --> 00:50:44,750 To inspire is like… 956 00:50:45,250 --> 00:50:47,375 like when you have an idea, it inspires you. 957 00:50:47,458 --> 00:50:50,708 Yeah, that's a good one. You breathe in, and it inspires you. 958 00:50:50,791 --> 00:50:53,166 And expire… Oh shit, expire means to die. 959 00:50:53,250 --> 00:50:54,833 You have an idea, then you die. 960 00:50:55,416 --> 00:50:57,083 Okay, I'm losing focus. Come on. 961 00:50:57,166 --> 00:51:00,375 Come on. Concentrate, Dani. Focus on your breathing. 962 00:51:00,875 --> 00:51:01,708 I have an idea. 963 00:51:01,791 --> 00:51:06,458 I'll follow the airflow as it travels through my respiratory system. 964 00:51:06,541 --> 00:51:07,416 Let's see. 965 00:51:08,625 --> 00:51:11,458 Air enters through my nostrils. 966 00:51:12,583 --> 00:51:14,083 Then it travels to… 967 00:51:17,791 --> 00:51:18,666 What's it called? 968 00:51:19,166 --> 00:51:21,375 Was it the larynx? No, what's it called? 969 00:51:21,458 --> 00:51:23,000 The pharynx, right? 970 00:51:24,041 --> 00:51:26,541 The trachea! Damn, that's it. The trachea. 971 00:51:27,083 --> 00:51:29,875 Damn, people who do tracheotomies, now they've got balls. 972 00:51:30,500 --> 00:51:33,541 They perform a tracheotomy with a pen. Damn, that's crazy. 973 00:51:33,625 --> 00:51:35,750 Okay, I lost focus again. Come on. 974 00:51:35,833 --> 00:51:36,916 Let's go. 975 00:51:37,000 --> 00:51:37,875 Here I go. 976 00:51:38,375 --> 00:51:40,666 Okay. I breathe in through my nose. 977 00:51:40,750 --> 00:51:44,958 They say you should breathe in your nose because there are little hairs in there 978 00:51:45,041 --> 00:51:48,208 that trap all the dust and bacteria. 979 00:51:50,125 --> 00:51:54,000 Damn, dude, I've been sprouting nose hairs for years now! 980 00:51:54,083 --> 00:51:55,291 I'm like, "What's this?" 981 00:51:56,166 --> 00:51:59,583 I'm also sprouting hairs on my ears. Dude, sometimes… 982 00:51:59,666 --> 00:52:03,125 Sometimes I look in the mirror and say, "Holy shit, I look like a lynx, man." 983 00:52:03,625 --> 00:52:05,583 Okay, come on. Let's go. 984 00:52:05,666 --> 00:52:06,958 I'll focus now. Come on. 985 00:52:08,583 --> 00:52:09,500 Okay. 986 00:52:10,916 --> 00:52:12,208 Inspire. 987 00:52:15,083 --> 00:52:18,083 Man, why do they import all the avocadoes from New Zealand? 988 00:52:29,291 --> 00:52:30,291 That's how it is. 989 00:52:32,291 --> 00:52:33,291 That's how it is. 990 00:52:35,041 --> 00:52:37,708 Your mind constantly wanders off. 991 00:52:37,791 --> 00:52:40,625 I don't even see it as a battle. It's more like a dance. 992 00:52:40,708 --> 00:52:43,416 When you realize that your mind has wandered off, 993 00:52:43,500 --> 00:52:45,750 you just come back and focus again. 994 00:52:45,833 --> 00:52:49,958 There's no such thing as bad meditation. You should try it, really. It's awesome. 995 00:52:59,333 --> 00:53:02,208 All couples lie to each other. 996 00:53:03,583 --> 00:53:04,458 All of them. 997 00:53:05,416 --> 00:53:06,333 He lies to her. 998 00:53:06,875 --> 00:53:07,916 She lies to him. 999 00:53:08,583 --> 00:53:09,500 He lies to him. 1000 00:53:10,041 --> 00:53:10,958 She lies to her. 1001 00:53:11,458 --> 00:53:12,666 They lie to them. 1002 00:53:12,750 --> 00:53:13,875 Bro to bro. 1003 00:53:13,958 --> 00:53:15,791 Olé, olé. Aioli. 1004 00:53:16,708 --> 00:53:19,208 All of them. There are no exceptions. 1005 00:53:23,625 --> 00:53:26,708 Because in every relationship, 1006 00:53:26,791 --> 00:53:30,958 at some point, maybe during an intimate moment, 1007 00:53:31,041 --> 00:53:34,250 when one partner turns to the other and says, 1008 00:53:35,083 --> 00:53:36,041 "Honey, 1009 00:53:38,000 --> 00:53:39,458 what are you thinking about?" 1010 00:53:44,541 --> 00:53:48,125 And 99.9% of the time, 1011 00:53:48,208 --> 00:53:49,750 the answer is… 1012 00:53:50,250 --> 00:53:51,333 Nothing. 1013 00:53:51,416 --> 00:53:52,291 "Nothing." 1014 00:53:53,416 --> 00:53:54,333 "Nothing." 1015 00:53:56,333 --> 00:53:57,250 "Nothing." 1016 00:53:59,333 --> 00:54:00,250 "Nothing." 1017 00:54:01,500 --> 00:54:02,916 Go eat a dick. 1018 00:54:05,000 --> 00:54:07,625 So you're telling me, 1019 00:54:07,708 --> 00:54:10,041 someone who's been meditating for 11 years, 1020 00:54:10,125 --> 00:54:11,166 11 years, 1021 00:54:11,250 --> 00:54:13,958 hundreds and hundreds of hours of meditation, 1022 00:54:14,041 --> 00:54:16,166 and if someone asked me, "How much of that time 1023 00:54:16,250 --> 00:54:18,666 was your mind actually blank?" 1024 00:54:18,750 --> 00:54:21,250 I'd say, "Maybe for two or three seconds in my life." 1025 00:54:21,750 --> 00:54:25,375 And honestly, those seconds were probably right before I let out a little fart. 1026 00:54:25,458 --> 00:54:27,333 When you fart, your mind is like… 1027 00:54:27,416 --> 00:54:29,833 So now you're telling me, 1028 00:54:29,916 --> 00:54:32,041 you stupid lowlife, 1029 00:54:32,125 --> 00:54:34,458 that when someone asks you, your mind is blank? 1030 00:54:34,541 --> 00:54:37,916 Yeah, sure. Who are you now, Siddhārtha Gautama? 1031 00:54:38,583 --> 00:54:41,750 Who are you, Krishnamurti? 1032 00:54:41,833 --> 00:54:43,875 Who are you, Mahatma Gandhi? 1033 00:54:43,958 --> 00:54:45,625 Who are you, Buddha? 1034 00:54:45,708 --> 00:54:47,416 Who are you, Shiva? 1035 00:54:47,500 --> 00:54:50,541 You're a liar as big as a fire truck. 1036 00:54:51,333 --> 00:54:53,541 Say it! Say what you're thinking. 1037 00:54:53,625 --> 00:54:57,416 It doesn't mean we don't say it because we're constantly having bad thoughts. 1038 00:54:57,500 --> 00:54:59,083 Like, "What are you thinking, honey?" 1039 00:54:59,166 --> 00:55:01,708 "I was thinking about having an orgy with 50 people 1040 00:55:01,791 --> 00:55:04,791 while your mother was watching and touching…" No! 1041 00:55:04,875 --> 00:55:07,333 I'm not saying that, but maybe, "What are you thinking?" 1042 00:55:07,416 --> 00:55:09,583 And you say, "Like I'd tell you!" 1043 00:55:10,125 --> 00:55:12,083 You're in la-la land. "Like I'd tell you!" 1044 00:55:12,583 --> 00:55:16,416 "I was imagining I was four meters tall, and I was at the beach." 1045 00:55:16,500 --> 00:55:20,000 "My legs were éclairs, and I had a giant lollipop with spikes, 1046 00:55:20,083 --> 00:55:22,583 and I was battling a giant evil sponge cake 1047 00:55:22,666 --> 00:55:24,583 who wanted to destroy the planet." 1048 00:55:26,166 --> 00:55:27,375 "What do you think?" 1049 00:55:28,500 --> 00:55:30,708 Say it. Let's see if you can. 1050 00:55:31,541 --> 00:55:32,708 And let me tell you, 1051 00:55:34,125 --> 00:55:35,791 if you tell that to your partner 1052 00:55:37,958 --> 00:55:39,916 and they decide to stay with you, 1053 00:55:41,833 --> 00:55:43,166 they're your soulmate. 1054 00:55:44,083 --> 00:55:45,208 They're your soulmate. 1055 00:55:51,958 --> 00:55:53,250 But let me also tell you, 1056 00:55:54,083 --> 00:55:56,333 it's a perfectly legit option 1057 00:55:56,416 --> 00:55:59,750 if your partner asks what you're thinking 1058 00:55:59,833 --> 00:56:02,916 to say, "Look, honey, right now I don't think it's appropriate 1059 00:56:03,000 --> 00:56:07,416 to share what I'm thinking because my thoughts are private." 1060 00:56:14,083 --> 00:56:16,541 I think the sponge cake story is less risky. 1061 00:56:19,000 --> 00:56:23,833 I encourage you to ask each other randomly and then tell the truth. 1062 00:56:23,916 --> 00:56:25,333 You're really in for it. 1063 00:56:28,208 --> 00:56:32,833 I think we're living in a time, a good social moment, 1064 00:56:32,916 --> 00:56:35,583 where there's more focus, more empathy, 1065 00:56:35,666 --> 00:56:38,791 more kindness, more value given, however you want to say it, 1066 00:56:38,875 --> 00:56:43,916 when it comes to mental health, or the lack of it, right? 1067 00:56:44,000 --> 00:56:48,291 These days, we already know about certain illnesses and disorders. 1068 00:56:48,375 --> 00:56:51,333 And just giving things a name makes them real, 1069 00:56:51,416 --> 00:56:54,625 and that makes a big difference in how we care for them. 1070 00:56:54,708 --> 00:57:00,000 I don't know if any of you who are my age or older feel this way, 1071 00:57:00,083 --> 00:57:02,208 but, like, 15 or 20 years ago, 1072 00:57:02,291 --> 00:57:06,791 everything to do with mental health got thrown into the same bag, 1073 00:57:06,875 --> 00:57:09,458 the stigmatized "crazy people" bag. 1074 00:57:09,541 --> 00:57:11,291 All in the same bag, you know? 1075 00:57:11,375 --> 00:57:14,083 And it was something you should try to stay away from. 1076 00:57:14,166 --> 00:57:17,583 "This guy cries all day, must be crazy. This guy is drunk all day." 1077 00:57:17,666 --> 00:57:19,958 "This guy is yelling all day, must be crazy." 1078 00:57:20,041 --> 00:57:24,458 And nowadays, these kinds of things are handled with a lot more empathy. 1079 00:57:24,541 --> 00:57:27,208 And I think that's worth celebrating. 1080 00:57:28,125 --> 00:57:29,333 Let me also tell you… 1081 00:57:29,833 --> 00:57:31,166 Let me also tell you, 1082 00:57:31,250 --> 00:57:33,958 between someone who's missing a few screws in the head… 1083 00:57:36,833 --> 00:57:38,958 and someone who got hit on the head as a baby, 1084 00:57:40,791 --> 00:57:42,333 somewhere in this range… 1085 00:57:46,416 --> 00:57:47,875 we're all somewhere in here. 1086 00:57:48,458 --> 00:57:51,041 100% mentally stable, 1087 00:57:51,125 --> 00:57:52,583 that's none of us. 1088 00:57:53,125 --> 00:57:54,500 If you don't have a tic, 1089 00:57:56,500 --> 00:57:57,666 you have OCD. 1090 00:57:59,708 --> 00:58:01,750 Or they have TikTok. Not sure which is worse. 1091 00:58:03,125 --> 00:58:04,041 I mean… 1092 00:58:08,625 --> 00:58:14,208 But out of all the disorders or illnesses, 1093 00:58:15,833 --> 00:58:19,583 I wanted to highlight two that I think are basically the queens of mental health. 1094 00:58:19,666 --> 00:58:21,208 Not because they are the coolest, 1095 00:58:21,291 --> 00:58:25,291 but because they seem to be the most deeply woven into society. 1096 00:58:25,375 --> 00:58:30,291 If we haven't experienced them ourselves, we will, or someone very close to us will. 1097 00:58:30,791 --> 00:58:33,833 I'm talking about anxiety. 1098 00:58:35,291 --> 00:58:36,291 Big one, right? 1099 00:58:37,458 --> 00:58:38,541 And depression. 1100 00:58:39,583 --> 00:58:40,416 Okay. 1101 00:58:40,916 --> 00:58:44,875 For those of us that have anxiety, it sucks. 1102 00:58:44,958 --> 00:58:48,541 Let's not romanticize it or sugarcoat it. 1103 00:58:48,625 --> 00:58:50,250 Anxiety sucks. 1104 00:58:50,333 --> 00:58:52,791 I've been dealing with it for many years now. 1105 00:58:52,875 --> 00:58:56,166 Lately, it's been a steady four or five out of ten. 1106 00:58:56,250 --> 00:58:58,916 And then it spikes. You need to know how to deal with it. 1107 00:58:59,000 --> 00:59:02,416 For many years, I've tried to eradicate it, 1108 00:59:02,500 --> 00:59:04,125 eradicate anxiety from my life. 1109 00:59:04,208 --> 00:59:07,958 And now I'm on the path of accepting it. 1110 00:59:08,041 --> 00:59:10,041 Accepting that I have anxiety, 1111 00:59:10,125 --> 00:59:13,333 and when it comes, I try to manage it as best I can, 1112 00:59:13,416 --> 00:59:16,041 understanding it's a dark cloud that comes unannounced. 1113 00:59:16,125 --> 00:59:18,458 But it also leaves unannounced, right? 1114 00:59:19,375 --> 00:59:23,166 Let's say you have an anxiety attack in the afternoon, 1115 00:59:23,250 --> 00:59:26,208 but that morning you were held up at knife point. 1116 00:59:26,291 --> 00:59:29,625 Both things suck, but damn, it's textbook logic. 1117 00:59:29,708 --> 00:59:30,875 If P, then Q. 1118 00:59:30,958 --> 00:59:35,041 Understanding the cause gives you relief. "I got mugged this morning. It's normal." 1119 00:59:35,125 --> 00:59:39,458 The worst part about anxiety is when it hits out of nowhere. 1120 00:59:39,541 --> 00:59:42,208 You might just be relaxing at home, 1121 00:59:42,291 --> 00:59:44,625 everything seems like it's going fine, 1122 00:59:44,708 --> 00:59:46,875 and suddenly, the storm cloud rolls in. 1123 00:59:46,958 --> 00:59:49,541 You suddenly feel your heart start to race, 1124 00:59:49,625 --> 00:59:53,666 your mouth dries up, you can't breathe, your body feels uncomfortable. 1125 00:59:53,750 --> 00:59:56,458 You go, "I wanna jump out a window." That really sucks. 1126 00:59:56,541 --> 01:00:01,333 I want to send strength to anyone who has to deal with that. 1127 01:00:01,416 --> 01:00:05,916 My personal take is that those of us who suffer from anxiety 1128 01:00:06,000 --> 01:00:09,250 are just slightly out of sync 1129 01:00:10,166 --> 01:00:11,625 with life's rhythm. 1130 01:00:11,708 --> 01:00:13,000 I mean, it's like… 1131 01:00:13,083 --> 01:00:18,541 We tend to always think about pre… We have a thousand "pres." 1132 01:00:18,625 --> 01:00:22,333 We worry about things before they happen, you know? 1133 01:00:22,416 --> 01:00:24,875 There's this quote from Descartes, 1134 01:00:24,958 --> 01:00:27,416 the philosopher, not at the hardware store… 1135 01:00:28,833 --> 01:00:32,791 He said, "My life has been full of terrible misfortunes, 1136 01:00:33,541 --> 01:00:37,916 most of which never happened." 1137 01:00:38,416 --> 01:00:43,208 We have the ability to come up with every worst-case scenario, 1138 01:00:43,291 --> 01:00:46,208 live them out in our heads, whether they end up happening or not. 1139 01:00:46,291 --> 01:00:49,166 But our body already ran the marathon, you know? 1140 01:00:52,208 --> 01:00:53,416 And depression, 1141 01:00:53,500 --> 01:00:55,333 in my view, 1142 01:00:56,250 --> 01:00:58,666 is trauma that never healed. 1143 01:00:59,500 --> 01:01:01,583 It's a sadness that took root 1144 01:01:02,166 --> 01:01:05,291 after some traumatic event, 1145 01:01:05,375 --> 01:01:10,125 whatever it may be, a breakup, a loss, whatever it is, okay? 1146 01:01:10,208 --> 01:01:12,500 Something happens, 1147 01:01:12,583 --> 01:01:15,666 time goes by, the trauma doesn't fully heal, 1148 01:01:15,750 --> 01:01:17,875 the sadness settles in. 1149 01:01:17,958 --> 01:01:22,875 Two years could easily go by, and you keep living your life, 1150 01:01:22,958 --> 01:01:24,875 but your feelings, your thoughts, 1151 01:01:24,958 --> 01:01:27,791 everything is still tied to whatever happened two years ago. 1152 01:01:27,875 --> 01:01:30,375 So you don't stop living in the past. 1153 01:01:30,458 --> 01:01:32,833 Anxiety is the obsession with the future. 1154 01:01:32,916 --> 01:01:35,125 Depression is the obsession with the past. 1155 01:01:35,208 --> 01:01:38,083 It's like going through life by watching it in a rearview mirror 1156 01:01:38,166 --> 01:01:39,666 or a telescope, you know? 1157 01:01:40,250 --> 01:01:42,000 A friend of mine once said, 1158 01:01:42,083 --> 01:01:45,583 "Look, Dani, if you've got one leg in the past and one in the future, 1159 01:01:45,666 --> 01:01:47,625 you're gonna end up shitting on the present." 1160 01:01:49,208 --> 01:01:50,166 What a poet. 1161 01:01:59,458 --> 01:02:02,458 It really is amazing when you find out "present" means "gift." 1162 01:02:03,166 --> 01:02:06,166 There's another concept that… Ay! 1163 01:02:06,250 --> 01:02:08,000 It's kind of in a gray area, 1164 01:02:08,083 --> 01:02:10,625 but it's all the rage right now, which is nostalgia. 1165 01:02:10,708 --> 01:02:12,875 Is nostalgia good or not? 1166 01:02:12,958 --> 01:02:16,666 I think there are two types of nostalgia, the good kind and the not-so-good kind. 1167 01:02:16,750 --> 01:02:17,833 What is the good kind? 1168 01:02:17,916 --> 01:02:21,875 Good nostalgia is the kind that takes you back to old memories, 1169 01:02:21,958 --> 01:02:24,416 to things you lived a long time ago. 1170 01:02:24,916 --> 01:02:28,041 You enjoy it, but it doesn't necessarily leave you feeling sad. 1171 01:02:28,125 --> 01:02:30,041 Let me give you a fun example, okay? 1172 01:02:30,125 --> 01:02:32,041 I was born in 1980, right? 1173 01:02:32,125 --> 01:02:37,250 Those of you who are ten years older, maybe fifteen years younger, give or take, 1174 01:02:37,333 --> 01:02:38,375 you might get this. 1175 01:02:38,458 --> 01:02:39,750 If I say, 1176 01:02:40,500 --> 01:02:43,208 "We are the Littles…" 1177 01:02:43,291 --> 01:02:45,166 Tails that squiggle to and fro 1178 01:02:45,250 --> 01:02:48,000 And we could keep going with Willy Fog, Captain Tsubasa, 1179 01:02:48,083 --> 01:02:51,208 Dungeons & Dragons, Juana Hazuki, Candy Candy, Sailor Moon… 1180 01:02:51,291 --> 01:02:52,583 I could take these two rows, 1181 01:02:52,666 --> 01:02:55,291 who are total strangers to me, have a few beers with them, 1182 01:02:55,375 --> 01:02:56,875 sing together all night, 1183 01:02:56,958 --> 01:02:59,416 and we would return home, completely hammered. 1184 01:03:00,166 --> 01:03:04,000 We'd say, "I had such a great time remembering things from the past, 1185 01:03:04,083 --> 01:03:07,291 but without the slightest feeling of sadness, you know?" 1186 01:03:07,375 --> 01:03:10,708 Bad nostalgia does leave you with that feeling of sadness. 1187 01:03:10,791 --> 01:03:13,541 In fact, the professionals call it melancholy. 1188 01:03:13,625 --> 01:03:15,375 It's like a whole other stage. 1189 01:03:15,458 --> 01:03:19,083 There are people who get stuck in a certain era. 1190 01:03:20,458 --> 01:03:22,125 I call them "Kariners," 1191 01:03:22,208 --> 01:03:25,916 people who think that life was better in the past, right? 1192 01:03:26,000 --> 01:03:29,416 And these people can get stuck in a certain era for whatever reason. 1193 01:03:29,500 --> 01:03:32,166 It could be because of the friends they had, 1194 01:03:32,250 --> 01:03:36,166 the place they lived, a partner they had, or because they were young, 1195 01:03:36,250 --> 01:03:38,125 they didn't have problems or responsibilities, 1196 01:03:38,208 --> 01:03:40,333 because nobody was dying… I mean, no shit. 1197 01:03:41,000 --> 01:03:43,833 Every time I talk about this, I think of a good friend of mine 1198 01:03:43,916 --> 01:03:45,583 from my generation that I grew up with. 1199 01:03:45,666 --> 01:03:49,083 I think he got stuck in that era. 1200 01:03:49,166 --> 01:03:50,958 You talk to him in the year 2000, 1201 01:03:51,041 --> 01:03:55,333 and you hear all of his stories, his background, his jokes, references. 1202 01:03:55,416 --> 01:03:57,041 Everything was from back then. 1203 01:03:57,125 --> 01:03:59,875 You say, "Damn, you're running about ten years behind." 1204 01:04:00,375 --> 01:04:04,041 Then you see him in 2010. Same thing. You go, "You're running 20 years behind." 1205 01:04:04,125 --> 01:04:05,291 And you see him in 2025, 1206 01:04:05,375 --> 01:04:08,041 and he's still talking about stuff from 35 years ago. 1207 01:04:08,125 --> 01:04:11,916 It's as if time grabs you and drags you forward, 1208 01:04:12,000 --> 01:04:14,416 and you want to stay, but you have to move forward, 1209 01:04:14,500 --> 01:04:15,791 like you start to fade away. 1210 01:04:15,875 --> 01:04:17,833 Like the photos in Back to the Future. 1211 01:04:18,416 --> 01:04:20,708 Look, those of you who are melancholic 1212 01:04:20,791 --> 01:04:24,875 or who get nostalgic, which I am as well, here's another tip. 1213 01:04:24,958 --> 01:04:27,000 I think it's nice that, in the present, 1214 01:04:27,083 --> 01:04:30,625 when you're living a cool moment, when you're living a moment of joy, 1215 01:04:30,708 --> 01:04:34,125 a bit of happiness, when you're like, "Dude, this is dope," 1216 01:04:34,208 --> 01:04:35,875 really try to take it in. 1217 01:04:35,958 --> 01:04:39,541 Take it in and say, "I'm living a truly amazing moment right now." 1218 01:04:39,625 --> 01:04:43,333 Not just that. "I'm gonna try to remember this moment for the rest of my life." 1219 01:04:43,416 --> 01:04:45,708 And if you're with someone, say it out loud. 1220 01:04:45,791 --> 01:04:48,666 Saying it out loud helps lock it into your memory, 1221 01:04:48,750 --> 01:04:52,208 even if it's just to fuel future nostalgia. 1222 01:04:52,291 --> 01:04:54,958 Picture this. You are here tonight to see this show. 1223 01:04:55,041 --> 01:04:59,500 You came with your partner, a friend, your dad, a coworker, whoever. 1224 01:04:59,583 --> 01:05:01,833 And for whatever reason, you had a great-ass time. 1225 01:05:01,916 --> 01:05:02,750 Take it in. 1226 01:05:02,833 --> 01:05:05,833 If you really think that this was a joyful moment, 1227 01:05:05,916 --> 01:05:09,375 even just this short time we've shared together, take it in. 1228 01:05:09,458 --> 01:05:12,083 Try to internalize it. And when you leave, say it out loud. 1229 01:05:12,166 --> 01:05:13,458 "Man, that was dope." 1230 01:05:13,541 --> 01:05:14,916 And that's really cool. 1231 01:05:15,000 --> 01:05:17,333 Because maybe 20 years from now, 1232 01:05:17,416 --> 01:05:20,166 you're sitting in Plaça de Catalunya with that same friend, 1233 01:05:20,666 --> 01:05:23,250 having a beer, and you go, 1234 01:05:23,333 --> 01:05:27,125 "Damn, do you remember that Rovira show It's Worth it?" 1235 01:05:27,875 --> 01:05:28,958 "Damn, you remember?" 1236 01:05:29,041 --> 01:05:31,458 And he says, "Damn, that was like 20 years ago, right?" 1237 01:05:31,541 --> 01:05:34,958 "Damn, 20 years ago. That was great. We laughed so hard." 1238 01:05:35,041 --> 01:05:37,458 "We laughed. That guy did a great job." 1239 01:05:37,541 --> 01:05:40,250 "He was the best!" "All right, don't get carried away." 1240 01:05:40,750 --> 01:05:43,083 "Yeah, that was a good time. So sad that he died." 1241 01:05:43,166 --> 01:05:44,333 "Sure, it's sad." 1242 01:05:47,875 --> 01:05:48,708 Keep that up here. 1243 01:05:50,833 --> 01:05:52,041 Thank you very much. 1244 01:05:58,375 --> 01:06:03,833 Well, we're heading towards the end of the show. 1245 01:06:03,916 --> 01:06:06,500 And since we were talking about nostalgia, 1246 01:06:06,583 --> 01:06:08,666 I'm reminded of a beautiful lyric by Sabina. 1247 01:06:08,750 --> 01:06:11,916 "The cruelest kind of nostalgia is for something that never happened." 1248 01:06:12,416 --> 01:06:13,666 Let me tell you something. 1249 01:06:13,750 --> 01:06:15,458 I was never told stories as a kid. 1250 01:06:15,541 --> 01:06:18,375 I've felt a lot of nostalgia for something that never happened. 1251 01:06:18,458 --> 01:06:22,458 It's probably because, as an adult, when it comes to oral communication, 1252 01:06:22,541 --> 01:06:23,750 as well as with sex… 1253 01:06:27,416 --> 01:06:30,625 So as a final little gift and a touch of sweet nostalgia, 1254 01:06:30,708 --> 01:06:32,500 since you're probably overdue for one, 1255 01:06:32,583 --> 01:06:33,875 I'll tell you a quick story 1256 01:06:33,958 --> 01:06:38,583 that I think really ties into everything we've been talking about tonight, okay? 1257 01:06:38,666 --> 01:06:40,416 Well, what I've been talking about. 1258 01:06:41,833 --> 01:06:45,416 This story takes place in a small village, a very austere town, 1259 01:06:45,500 --> 01:06:47,833 a very small and inhospitable town. 1260 01:06:47,916 --> 01:06:52,291 And the main character of our story is an old man, 1261 01:06:52,375 --> 01:06:54,666 but that doesn't mean he had lost his energy, 1262 01:06:54,750 --> 01:06:56,833 his strength, or his agility, okay? 1263 01:06:57,333 --> 01:06:58,916 This man had the habit, 1264 01:06:59,000 --> 01:07:01,666 for as long as he could remember, 1265 01:07:01,750 --> 01:07:03,250 of waking up every morning 1266 01:07:03,333 --> 01:07:07,041 before the rooster crowed and the sun peeked over the mountains. 1267 01:07:07,125 --> 01:07:09,083 He would wake up, 1268 01:07:09,166 --> 01:07:10,375 get out of bed, 1269 01:07:10,458 --> 01:07:12,666 put on his sandals, 1270 01:07:13,541 --> 01:07:15,750 and he would take two huge clay amphoras 1271 01:07:15,833 --> 01:07:19,291 and start walking a little five-kilometer path 1272 01:07:19,375 --> 01:07:21,041 that lead to a crystal-clear spring. 1273 01:07:21,125 --> 01:07:24,041 There, he would fill both of them to the brim 1274 01:07:24,125 --> 01:07:26,916 and then walk the same five kilometers back. 1275 01:07:27,000 --> 01:07:28,625 When he got back to the village, 1276 01:07:28,708 --> 01:07:31,458 he would use that water for all his needs. 1277 01:07:31,541 --> 01:07:35,125 He'd drink it, cook with it, water the land with it, 1278 01:07:35,208 --> 01:07:38,541 wash with it, and use it for the animals, okay? 1279 01:07:39,083 --> 01:07:40,750 For about eight or ten years, 1280 01:07:40,833 --> 01:07:45,000 one of the jars had been starting to break, 1281 01:07:45,083 --> 01:07:46,166 starting to crack. 1282 01:07:46,250 --> 01:07:50,083 It was pretty beat up. It had small fractures all over it. 1283 01:07:50,166 --> 01:07:52,708 It got to the point where it started to lose water. 1284 01:07:52,791 --> 01:07:55,250 Most days, by the time he reached the village, 1285 01:07:55,333 --> 01:07:57,958 more than half the water had been lost along the way. 1286 01:07:58,458 --> 01:08:02,916 And since inanimate objects are allowed to come to life in stories, 1287 01:08:03,708 --> 01:08:04,750 one night, 1288 01:08:04,833 --> 01:08:07,500 before our main character went to bed, 1289 01:08:07,583 --> 01:08:09,166 the broken amphora, 1290 01:08:09,250 --> 01:08:10,708 and excuse the redundancy, 1291 01:08:11,500 --> 01:08:12,625 broke into speech. 1292 01:08:13,125 --> 01:08:15,833 It started lamenting to its master, 1293 01:08:15,916 --> 01:08:17,041 "Oh, master of mine!" 1294 01:08:17,125 --> 01:08:18,458 "I feel awful." 1295 01:08:18,541 --> 01:08:21,875 "I know that I'm broken and no longer serve you like before." 1296 01:08:21,958 --> 01:08:24,708 "And I'm filled with shame and sorrow." 1297 01:08:24,791 --> 01:08:28,250 "And I really wouldn't mind if you replaced me with a new jar 1298 01:08:28,333 --> 01:08:30,458 because I'm completely useless now!" 1299 01:08:31,166 --> 01:08:35,708 Completely unshaken, but with a gentle tone, the man said, 1300 01:08:36,833 --> 01:08:40,166 "I'll never replace you with a new amphora." 1301 01:08:41,000 --> 01:08:42,958 "But I won't tell you why today." 1302 01:08:43,625 --> 01:08:47,083 "I will tell you tomorrow, somewhere along the walk." 1303 01:08:48,041 --> 01:08:50,958 And with that, the man went to bed like he did every night. 1304 01:08:51,041 --> 01:08:53,875 The two amphoras were left there, like, "Okay, then." 1305 01:08:55,041 --> 01:08:56,208 And the next day, 1306 01:08:56,916 --> 01:09:00,916 like always, before the rooster crowed and the sun peeked over the mountains, 1307 01:09:01,833 --> 01:09:04,208 the man woke up, he put on his sandals 1308 01:09:04,291 --> 01:09:06,375 and picked up his two huge amphoras. 1309 01:09:06,958 --> 01:09:11,041 He always carried each amphora with the same arm. 1310 01:09:11,125 --> 01:09:15,000 He would always carry the broken amphora with his right arm. 1311 01:09:15,083 --> 01:09:15,916 Always. 1312 01:09:16,000 --> 01:09:18,750 Both on the way to the spring and on the way back. 1313 01:09:19,458 --> 01:09:22,125 When they set off on the five-kilometer trail, 1314 01:09:22,208 --> 01:09:23,541 nobody said a word. 1315 01:09:24,041 --> 01:09:26,458 You could only hear the sound of birds 1316 01:09:26,541 --> 01:09:29,166 and the soft rustling of leaves in the wind. 1317 01:09:29,958 --> 01:09:32,625 When he arrived at the crystal-clear spring, 1318 01:09:32,708 --> 01:09:35,083 he sat down and started filling the amphoras. 1319 01:09:35,166 --> 01:09:36,500 And nobody said a word. 1320 01:09:36,583 --> 01:09:41,541 There was only the sound of water echoing in the cave. 1321 01:09:42,791 --> 01:09:45,000 On the way back, no one spoke either, 1322 01:09:45,083 --> 01:09:48,333 until well past the halfway point. 1323 01:09:48,416 --> 01:09:50,666 The amphora had already lost a lot of water. 1324 01:09:50,750 --> 01:09:51,833 And right then, 1325 01:09:51,916 --> 01:09:53,791 our protagonist stopped. 1326 01:09:54,625 --> 01:09:56,083 He stopped and turned around 1327 01:09:56,708 --> 01:09:58,916 to face the broken amphora, and he said, 1328 01:09:59,833 --> 01:10:03,333 "Now do you see why I haven't replaced you?" 1329 01:10:04,166 --> 01:10:05,000 "Look." 1330 01:10:05,791 --> 01:10:07,541 "Look at this stretch of the path." 1331 01:10:08,416 --> 01:10:09,750 "It's covered in flowers, 1332 01:10:10,458 --> 01:10:11,458 thanks to you." 1333 01:10:23,833 --> 01:10:25,250 Life is worth living. 1334 01:10:26,708 --> 01:10:28,541 It's a no-brainer, it's obvious, 1335 01:10:28,625 --> 01:10:31,833 but I tend to think that obvious things can be so obvious 1336 01:10:31,916 --> 01:10:33,416 that we can be oblivious. 1337 01:10:33,500 --> 01:10:34,791 But sorrow, 1338 01:10:34,875 --> 01:10:37,541 in itself, is worth something too. 1339 01:10:38,250 --> 01:10:40,625 Throughout tonight, 1340 01:10:40,708 --> 01:10:43,291 between laughs and a few confessions, 1341 01:10:43,375 --> 01:10:45,958 I have told you about some of the grief I've experienced, 1342 01:10:46,041 --> 01:10:49,250 some of the losses I've endured throughout these recent years. 1343 01:10:49,333 --> 01:10:51,375 But I've been deliberately saving one for the end 1344 01:10:51,458 --> 01:10:56,458 so I could share with you the greatest loss of my life, 1345 01:10:57,000 --> 01:10:59,583 the hardest grief I've ever been through. 1346 01:11:00,666 --> 01:11:04,458 And it's the grief of losing myself. 1347 01:11:05,166 --> 01:11:06,833 You might think, "What's that mean?" 1348 01:11:07,333 --> 01:11:10,166 "What does that mean, Dani? How do you lose yourself?" 1349 01:11:10,708 --> 01:11:11,875 It's so easy. 1350 01:11:12,500 --> 01:11:13,833 It's shockingly easy. 1351 01:11:13,916 --> 01:11:17,958 Because I think it begins before we even realize it. 1352 01:11:18,041 --> 01:11:20,250 When we're little kids, 1353 01:11:20,333 --> 01:11:24,333 all we really long for is Mom's love, right? 1354 01:11:24,416 --> 01:11:26,500 We want her to love and embrace us. 1355 01:11:26,583 --> 01:11:29,666 And there's this kind of deep-rooted fear of being abandoned. 1356 01:11:29,750 --> 01:11:30,833 No one knows why. 1357 01:11:30,916 --> 01:11:33,041 So you're constantly doing 1358 01:11:33,125 --> 01:11:35,791 everything you can to make sure your mom loves you. 1359 01:11:35,875 --> 01:11:37,208 And a lot of those things 1360 01:11:37,291 --> 01:11:40,375 probably didn't reflect your true self at all. 1361 01:11:40,458 --> 01:11:43,125 But you knew what to do and what not to do 1362 01:11:43,208 --> 01:11:45,500 to receive affection and avoid punishment. 1363 01:11:45,583 --> 01:11:48,875 But a lot of that didn't reflect your true nature, right? 1364 01:11:49,750 --> 01:11:53,000 And what is that if not, from a very young age, 1365 01:11:53,083 --> 01:11:54,416 putting on a kind of… 1366 01:11:55,541 --> 01:11:56,500 mask? 1367 01:11:57,250 --> 01:11:58,625 It also happened with Dad. 1368 01:11:58,708 --> 01:12:01,250 How many times, growing up, 1369 01:12:01,333 --> 01:12:03,833 did we want our dad to be proud of us? 1370 01:12:03,916 --> 01:12:07,208 How many times did we chase that pat on the back? 1371 01:12:07,291 --> 01:12:10,458 How many times did we feel like one of our siblings was the favorite, 1372 01:12:10,541 --> 01:12:12,416 and you would copy what they did 1373 01:12:12,500 --> 01:12:15,708 to make Dad as proud of you as he was of them? 1374 01:12:15,791 --> 01:12:17,916 And a lot of those things, when you did them, 1375 01:12:18,000 --> 01:12:19,750 didn't reflect who you truly are. 1376 01:12:19,833 --> 01:12:21,750 They weren't part of your true essence. 1377 01:12:21,833 --> 01:12:25,625 But you did them because you longed for your dad's affection and approval. 1378 01:12:25,708 --> 01:12:27,041 And what is that, if not… 1379 01:12:28,500 --> 01:12:29,791 putting on another mask? 1380 01:12:30,416 --> 01:12:32,708 Or take relationships as a couple, for instance. 1381 01:12:33,250 --> 01:12:34,916 Romantic relationships. 1382 01:12:35,000 --> 01:12:38,000 How many times have we heard or even said, 1383 01:12:38,083 --> 01:12:41,125 "Wow! They bring out the best version of myself"? 1384 01:12:42,291 --> 01:12:44,291 And that could be true at times. 1385 01:12:44,375 --> 01:12:46,750 But often, what it really means is, 1386 01:12:46,833 --> 01:12:49,166 "Wow! They bring out the best version of myself 1387 01:12:49,250 --> 01:12:52,541 I think my partner will like the most." 1388 01:12:52,625 --> 01:12:54,375 Because we often know each other, 1389 01:12:54,875 --> 01:12:56,750 and we know about our baggage, 1390 01:12:56,833 --> 01:13:00,000 about our bullshit, about the skeletons in our closets. 1391 01:13:00,083 --> 01:13:03,458 And if we show our true selves to our partner, 1392 01:13:03,541 --> 01:13:06,666 we get scared and panic, thinking they'll take off running. 1393 01:13:06,750 --> 01:13:12,666 So I'll be what my partner wants me to be so they don't abandon me and will love me. 1394 01:13:13,166 --> 01:13:15,041 And what is that if not… 1395 01:13:16,916 --> 01:13:18,291 putting on another mask? 1396 01:13:18,875 --> 01:13:20,000 Social media. 1397 01:13:20,500 --> 01:13:23,041 It feels like we've grown up with it, right? 1398 01:13:23,541 --> 01:13:25,125 And do we really think 1399 01:13:25,625 --> 01:13:29,541 our profile represents 100% of who we are? 1400 01:13:30,458 --> 01:13:35,791 Because we constantly do things to please people we don't even know. 1401 01:13:35,875 --> 01:13:37,833 For what? For followers? 1402 01:13:38,458 --> 01:13:39,291 For likes? 1403 01:13:39,375 --> 01:13:43,166 Are we really the person our social media depicts? 1404 01:13:43,250 --> 01:13:44,625 If that were true, I'd say, 1405 01:13:44,708 --> 01:13:47,166 "Damn, I can't believe there are so many pieces of shit 1406 01:13:47,250 --> 01:13:48,333 like on Twitter." 1407 01:13:48,416 --> 01:13:51,375 "I also don't believe there are people who have such perfect lives 1408 01:13:51,458 --> 01:13:52,416 like on Instagram." 1409 01:13:52,916 --> 01:13:53,916 But it's what we do. 1410 01:13:54,416 --> 01:13:57,125 Are we really the people we show the world on social media, 1411 01:13:57,208 --> 01:13:59,166 or is it just… 1412 01:14:01,250 --> 01:14:02,416 another mask? 1413 01:14:03,291 --> 01:14:06,541 And in my particular case, I'm a very well-known person. 1414 01:14:06,625 --> 01:14:09,791 I've been very popular for almost 20 years. 1415 01:14:09,875 --> 01:14:11,291 And for those 20 years, 1416 01:14:11,375 --> 01:14:13,916 I've always wanted people to like me. 1417 01:14:14,000 --> 01:14:15,208 I've wanted to be liked. 1418 01:14:15,291 --> 01:14:17,458 And one of my biggest fears 1419 01:14:17,541 --> 01:14:20,666 was people thinking I was an asshole, 1420 01:14:21,208 --> 01:14:24,416 or not liking me, or thinking I was a jerk. 1421 01:14:24,500 --> 01:14:28,000 Or, I don't know, people thinking the fame had gone to my head. 1422 01:14:28,083 --> 01:14:31,916 And to make sure that never happened, I put myself last. 1423 01:14:32,791 --> 01:14:35,541 I constantly walked all over myself, 1424 01:14:36,041 --> 01:14:38,041 just to get people to love me. 1425 01:14:38,916 --> 01:14:40,833 I've even taken photos in a funeral home. 1426 01:14:42,791 --> 01:14:46,791 I don't know the key to success, but I did discover that the key to failure 1427 01:14:46,875 --> 01:14:49,708 is trying to please everyone. 1428 01:14:51,625 --> 01:14:53,708 And when you wear so many masks, 1429 01:14:53,791 --> 01:14:56,625 there comes a point when life, for better or for worse, 1430 01:14:56,708 --> 01:15:00,333 slaps you so hard when you turn around a corner 1431 01:15:00,833 --> 01:15:04,833 that not only do all your masks fall off, but so do the numbers on your ID card. 1432 01:15:05,416 --> 01:15:08,708 And your very foundations, your islands, might even collapse. 1433 01:15:08,791 --> 01:15:12,416 Do you remember Inside Out, the first one? The one with the little girl. 1434 01:15:12,500 --> 01:15:17,166 When all seems lost and those seemingly indestructible islands collapse. 1435 01:15:17,250 --> 01:15:20,625 Family Island, Friendship Island, Magic Island, 1436 01:15:20,708 --> 01:15:23,333 Goofball Island, Honesty Island… 1437 01:15:23,833 --> 01:15:26,750 There was a moment when life slapped me so hard 1438 01:15:26,833 --> 01:15:30,333 that all my masks fell off and all my islands collapsed. 1439 01:15:30,875 --> 01:15:34,625 And I looked in the mirror, and I didn't recognize myself. 1440 01:15:34,708 --> 01:15:37,708 And believe me, that's a fucking awful feeling. 1441 01:15:38,541 --> 01:15:40,791 I could almost say 1442 01:15:40,875 --> 01:15:44,416 there was a period where I felt like I had no ground beneath me. 1443 01:15:45,000 --> 01:15:47,208 It's a feeling of abandonment, 1444 01:15:47,291 --> 01:15:50,250 it's a feeling of disorientation, 1445 01:15:50,333 --> 01:15:51,250 of fear… 1446 01:15:51,333 --> 01:15:52,958 So much fear. 1447 01:15:53,041 --> 01:15:54,875 Fear because you don't think you can go on 1448 01:15:54,958 --> 01:15:58,750 because you're afraid to go on, because you don't want to go on. 1449 01:16:00,041 --> 01:16:04,083 I learned that mystics call this "the dark night of the soul." 1450 01:16:05,500 --> 01:16:06,708 I've cried, you know. 1451 01:16:07,333 --> 01:16:10,458 Like Maná said, "I cried a river, and I cried an ocean." 1452 01:16:11,291 --> 01:16:13,625 But as Vetusta Morla put it, 1453 01:16:13,708 --> 01:16:16,750 "We'll only be free when there's nothing left to lose." 1454 01:16:18,333 --> 01:16:22,541 Years ago, I read a poem by my beloved Mario Benedetti 1455 01:16:23,208 --> 01:16:26,250 that said a smile is much more beautiful 1456 01:16:27,041 --> 01:16:28,833 when it follows tears. 1457 01:16:29,416 --> 01:16:31,416 It's like when the sun comes out 1458 01:16:32,208 --> 01:16:34,041 after many days of rain, 1459 01:16:34,791 --> 01:16:38,125 and chances are there's a rainbow on the way. 1460 01:16:39,250 --> 01:16:40,916 After this whole process, 1461 01:16:41,000 --> 01:16:44,625 I couldn't tell you if I am a better or worse person. 1462 01:16:45,791 --> 01:16:48,541 What I can say is that I'm much more authentic, 1463 01:16:48,625 --> 01:16:50,333 and that's what it's all about. 1464 01:16:50,416 --> 01:16:52,833 I've never been more myself than I am right now. 1465 01:16:53,333 --> 01:16:56,791 Actually, it reminds me of the man who snuck in the elevator. Remember him? 1466 01:16:56,875 --> 01:16:58,083 He asked, "Is it you?" 1467 01:16:58,166 --> 01:16:59,875 And I laughed about it. 1468 01:17:00,416 --> 01:17:04,208 Maybe he saw something in me and was trying to warn me. 1469 01:17:04,291 --> 01:17:06,125 If he were in front of me now, I'd say, 1470 01:17:06,208 --> 01:17:08,500 "I'm more myself than I ever have been, man." 1471 01:17:09,000 --> 01:17:10,041 And to all of you, 1472 01:17:10,583 --> 01:17:14,041 I want to say that if you're ever going through a time of sadness, 1473 01:17:14,125 --> 01:17:16,250 or if you're going through it now, 1474 01:17:16,333 --> 01:17:17,666 remember three things. 1475 01:17:17,750 --> 01:17:19,916 First, hang in there. 1476 01:17:20,500 --> 01:17:22,375 Hang in there. This will pass. 1477 01:17:23,041 --> 01:17:26,791 Second, since you're going through this period of darkness and pain, 1478 01:17:26,875 --> 01:17:28,541 try to learn from it. 1479 01:17:29,208 --> 01:17:31,333 Don't let it all be for nothing. 1480 01:17:32,000 --> 01:17:35,166 And third, do what is best for you. 1481 01:17:35,250 --> 01:17:37,416 Do what feels best for you. 1482 01:17:37,500 --> 01:17:40,916 And if you're having a shitty morning, and that corny phrase on your coffee mug 1483 01:17:41,000 --> 01:17:44,125 gives you that extra push to step outside with energy, 1484 01:17:44,208 --> 01:17:47,583 do it, and forget what people think. 1485 01:17:48,666 --> 01:17:49,875 But I'll also say this. 1486 01:17:50,375 --> 01:17:52,833 When sadness grabs hold of you like that, 1487 01:17:53,666 --> 01:17:55,083 it never fully lets go. 1488 01:17:55,166 --> 01:17:58,291 It's like gum stuck to the bottom of your shoe. 1489 01:17:58,791 --> 01:18:01,250 And for me, when that sadness shows up, 1490 01:18:01,333 --> 01:18:03,708 it always brings a heavy dose of loneliness. 1491 01:18:03,791 --> 01:18:04,708 A lot. 1492 01:18:05,458 --> 01:18:08,708 Because out there, I feel like there's so much more noise 1493 01:18:08,791 --> 01:18:10,541 and so much more hostility. 1494 01:18:11,166 --> 01:18:14,041 And when that sadness and loneliness creep in 1495 01:18:14,125 --> 01:18:15,333 and I'm home alone, 1496 01:18:16,750 --> 01:18:18,000 you know what I do? 1497 01:18:19,625 --> 01:18:21,250 I turn to magical thinking. 1498 01:18:22,666 --> 01:18:25,875 And maybe I'm sitting on my sofa, and I look to my right… 1499 01:18:30,166 --> 01:18:31,458 and I see the blanket. 1500 01:18:32,583 --> 01:18:33,791 And you know what I do? 1501 01:18:34,583 --> 01:18:37,125 I hold it tight, and I smell it. 1502 01:18:38,000 --> 01:18:42,166 And a little magical thought creeps in that pushes me to look at my front door 1503 01:18:42,666 --> 01:18:47,083 and think that everything that is no longer a part of my life, 1504 01:18:47,166 --> 01:18:50,583 everything life took away from me, everything I loved that is gone, 1505 01:18:51,208 --> 01:18:54,791 one day, somehow, life will return it to me. 1506 01:18:55,791 --> 01:18:58,125 And I couldn't care less about what you think 1507 01:18:59,166 --> 01:19:00,541 because it works for me. 1508 01:19:26,875 --> 01:19:28,750 Thank you very much, and… 1509 01:19:30,708 --> 01:19:33,666 and if there's anything left to say, I'd say that it's always, 1510 01:19:33,750 --> 01:19:36,833 and I mean always, 1511 01:19:37,708 --> 01:19:38,666 worth it. 1512 01:20:56,875 --> 01:21:01,875 Subtitle translation by: Lee Pollard 1512 01:21:02,305 --> 01:22:02,299 Watch Online Movies and Series for FREE www.osdb.link/lm