That Funny Feeling

1 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074 Do you want subtitles for any video? -=[ ai.OpenSubtitles.com ]=- 2 00:01:51,822 --> 00:01:54,700 Our solar system is composed of nine planets, 3 00:01:54,784 --> 00:01:58,079 31 moons, thousands of minor planets, 4 00:01:58,162 --> 00:02:01,707 scores of comets and millions of meteors. 5 00:02:01,791 --> 00:02:05,169 Each of these heavenly bodies moves in its orbit, 6 00:02:05,252 --> 00:02:09,299 quietly, majestically, without incident. 7 00:02:09,382 --> 00:02:11,384 This is the planet Earth. 8 00:02:11,468 --> 00:02:14,638 Its occupants also move in a daily orbit, 9 00:02:14,721 --> 00:02:18,683 but unlike nature, their course is not quite so regular, 10 00:02:18,767 --> 00:02:21,728 SO quiet, so majestic. 11 00:02:46,878 --> 00:02:48,630 Well! I'm so sorry. 12 00:02:48,713 --> 00:02:50,465 Please forgive me. Are you all right? 13 00:02:50,549 --> 00:02:52,342 You might watch where you're walking. 14 00:02:52,425 --> 00:02:54,386 Absolutely stupid of me. Please forgive me. 15 00:02:54,469 --> 00:02:58,390 Uh, send me a bill for... For the cleaning of the dress, huh? 16 00:02:58,473 --> 00:03:00,143 Uh, can I get you a cab? No. 17 00:03:00,560 --> 00:03:01,853 Are you sure you're all right? 18 00:03:01,936 --> 00:03:03,646 I will be just fine. Never mind. 19 00:03:03,729 --> 00:03:05,356 But... 20 00:03:13,573 --> 00:03:15,283 It's a good thing I wasn't bending over, 21 00:03:15,366 --> 00:03:17,201 fixing a run in my stocking, ain't it? 22 00:03:17,368 --> 00:03:20,413 Yeah, I'm sorry, Officer. My eyes were on that girl. 23 00:03:21,038 --> 00:03:23,374 Well, just screw 'em back in your head and keep moving. 24 00:03:25,126 --> 00:03:26,836 Yes, sir. 25 00:04:25,479 --> 00:04:27,064 Hey! 26 00:04:27,856 --> 00:04:29,483 That wasn't very nice. 27 00:04:29,566 --> 00:04:32,069 And how come you got such a slob for a roommate? 28 00:04:32,152 --> 00:04:35,030 Just look at this place. Yes. 29 00:05:33,423 --> 00:05:35,217 Clara? Joan Howell. 30 00:05:35,301 --> 00:05:37,261 Any calls? 31 00:05:37,344 --> 00:05:40,347 Oh? Tomorrow night? Auditioning for what? 32 00:05:42,516 --> 00:05:44,268 Japanese governess? 33 00:05:44,351 --> 00:05:47,813 Oh, well. I've had sukiyaki once. 34 00:05:47,896 --> 00:05:50,190 Yeah. Okay. Bye-bye. 35 00:06:02,119 --> 00:06:03,555 Honorable master, 36 00:06:03,579 --> 00:06:07,833 please forgive unworthy governess for unhappy news. 37 00:06:08,375 --> 00:06:12,463 Honorable son refuse depart television... 38 00:06:12,546 --> 00:06:15,507 For honorable bath. 39 00:06:20,220 --> 00:06:22,890 Everybody's a critic. 40 00:06:30,565 --> 00:06:32,359 Morning. 41 00:06:32,442 --> 00:06:33,485 Hello, Honey. 42 00:06:33,568 --> 00:06:36,237 Good morning, Mr. Milford. Mr. Granson has been looking for you. 43 00:06:36,321 --> 00:06:37,322 I'm thrilled. 44 00:06:37,405 --> 00:06:38,591 And a Miss Stevens has been calling. 45 00:06:38,615 --> 00:06:41,242 Do me a favor and ring my apartment, will ya? 46 00:06:42,327 --> 00:06:45,663 Miss Stevens was wondering if you'd found a contact lens. 47 00:06:45,747 --> 00:06:47,624 In your bedroom. 48 00:06:47,749 --> 00:06:49,292 Well, don't look at me that way. 49 00:06:49,376 --> 00:06:53,338 I mean, I can't help it if Miss Stevens happens to have long eyeballs. 50 00:06:53,421 --> 00:06:55,757 Hello. Mr. Milford here. I was... What's that? 51 00:06:55,840 --> 00:06:59,427 I say hello, Mr. Mifor-san. 52 00:06:59,511 --> 00:07:03,390 Uh, yeah. Listen. I forgot to take the dog for a walk this morning. 53 00:07:03,473 --> 00:07:06,309 Would you be so kind as to take him around the block for me? 54 00:07:06,393 --> 00:07:07,602 Uh, once should be enough. 55 00:07:07,685 --> 00:07:10,355 My pleasure, Mr. Mifor-san. Goodbye. 56 00:07:12,440 --> 00:07:14,760 Thank you very much, Miss Honey. 57 00:07:16,152 --> 00:07:17,487 Morning, Harve. 58 00:07:17,570 --> 00:07:20,491 Boy, we sure missed you at the party last night. It was a beauty. 59 00:07:20,574 --> 00:07:22,636 Yeah. I didn't finish with my wife's lawyers till after midnight. 60 00:07:22,660 --> 00:07:24,995 You mean you and Leona still can't agree on a settlement? 61 00:07:25,079 --> 00:07:28,416 Oh, yeah. She wants to split everything down the middle, including my head. 62 00:07:28,499 --> 00:07:31,043 Well, she can't split what she can't find, can she? 63 00:07:31,127 --> 00:07:32,878 Now, I'm not proud of that maneuver. 64 00:07:32,962 --> 00:07:34,296 I'm an honest man, 65 00:07:34,380 --> 00:07:36,507 and here I am hiding my art collection with you, 66 00:07:36,590 --> 00:07:38,843 my boat's in my brother's dock in Florida, 67 00:07:38,926 --> 00:07:40,970 my securities are in a bank in Geneva. 68 00:07:41,053 --> 00:07:43,305 I've got more locations than the A&P. 69 00:07:43,389 --> 00:07:45,850 Well, you're the guy that wanted to get married. 70 00:07:45,933 --> 00:07:49,520 I told you, take up something like parachute jumping or alligator wrestling. 71 00:07:49,603 --> 00:07:50,729 All right, all right. 72 00:07:50,813 --> 00:07:52,833 Look, I'm due out in Los Angeles on that movie deal. 73 00:07:52,857 --> 00:07:54,626 You know, the one where we're gonna novelize their features. 74 00:07:55,776 --> 00:07:57,319 I'd like you to go out there for me. 75 00:07:57,403 --> 00:07:58,904 Figure on about 10 days. Sure. 76 00:07:58,988 --> 00:08:01,073 Here's some correspondence and contracts. 77 00:08:02,074 --> 00:08:04,910 I'll talk to you about it in the morning before you take off. 78 00:08:04,994 --> 00:08:05,995 In the morning? 79 00:08:06,120 --> 00:08:07,121 Yeah, in the morning. 80 00:08:07,204 --> 00:08:08,914 What's the... What's the problem? 81 00:08:08,998 --> 00:08:11,519 Well, that's... That's rushing things a little bit, don't you think? 82 00:08:11,543 --> 00:08:13,378 Uh, I mean, uh, I gotta pack. 83 00:08:13,462 --> 00:08:15,297 I gotta get the dog to the kennel. 84 00:08:16,465 --> 00:08:18,633 Besides, I was planning a wingding tonight. 85 00:08:18,717 --> 00:08:20,552 You wingdinged last night. 86 00:08:20,635 --> 00:08:22,512 Well, you see, this is the anniversary 87 00:08:22,596 --> 00:08:24,431 of the unveiling of the Statue of Liberty, 88 00:08:24,514 --> 00:08:26,349 78 years ago today. 89 00:08:26,433 --> 00:08:29,352 I, uh, can't let it pass without observing it. 90 00:08:29,436 --> 00:08:32,355 Mmm-hmm. You never let anything pass unobserved. 91 00:08:32,439 --> 00:08:35,942 Last week you celebrated Chinese New Year, and Ruby Foo you are not. 92 00:08:36,026 --> 00:08:37,986 Harve, all men are my brothers, 93 00:08:38,069 --> 00:08:41,573 and we are all part of that great fraternity known as mankind. 94 00:08:41,656 --> 00:08:45,035 And whatever rejoices my neighbor rejoices me. 95 00:08:45,118 --> 00:08:46,912 Oh, please. I just had my breakfast. 96 00:08:55,337 --> 00:08:57,005 My place, 9:00 tonight? 97 00:08:57,088 --> 00:08:58,256 What's on the stove? 98 00:08:58,340 --> 00:08:59,341 Statue of Liberty. 99 00:08:59,424 --> 00:09:00,550 Crazy. 100 00:09:00,675 --> 00:09:01,801 I knew you were patriotic. 101 00:09:09,727 --> 00:09:11,646 Okay. I'm comin'. 102 00:09:21,489 --> 00:09:22,823 Good morning, Mr. Milford. 103 00:09:22,907 --> 00:09:24,075 Good morning, Scruggs. 104 00:09:24,158 --> 00:09:25,618 Hi there, Spike. 105 00:09:25,701 --> 00:09:28,204 Listen. I've got to go... 106 00:09:29,705 --> 00:09:31,415 I say, I've got to go away for 10 days. 107 00:09:31,499 --> 00:09:33,334 So make sure that he gets no horsemeat, huh? 108 00:09:33,417 --> 00:09:35,962 We know Spike. Strictly beef and kibble. 109 00:09:36,045 --> 00:09:37,713 Have a good trip, sir. Thank you. 110 00:09:37,797 --> 00:09:39,340 Come on, Spike. 111 00:09:41,926 --> 00:09:43,427 Good boy. 112 00:09:48,558 --> 00:09:50,268 Poor maid. 113 00:09:50,351 --> 00:09:53,771 What a terrible thing to do to a nice, old Japanese lady. 114 00:10:14,418 --> 00:10:16,336 I heard you! I heard you! 115 00:10:18,005 --> 00:10:19,881 You know, we ought to invest in 116 00:10:19,965 --> 00:10:21,758 an alarm clock one of these days. 117 00:10:21,842 --> 00:10:24,219 Why blow three bucks when he gets up when we do? 118 00:10:24,303 --> 00:10:26,388 "Cause I think when a girl reaches maturity," 119 00:10:26,471 --> 00:10:29,391 she should surround herself with certain niceties, 120 00:10:29,474 --> 00:10:30,809 like her own alarm clock. 121 00:10:32,519 --> 00:10:34,229 Bring one more thing into this room, 122 00:10:34,313 --> 00:10:36,064 and we'll have to knock out a wall. 123 00:10:37,774 --> 00:10:42,362 Hark. The sound of the thrush awakes me. 124 00:10:43,530 --> 00:10:47,493 Mine eyes open to the splendor of my abode. 125 00:10:49,329 --> 00:10:52,040 Yuck. 126 00:11:22,487 --> 00:11:25,198 If the wheels on these beds ever jam, 127 00:11:25,281 --> 00:11:27,367 we're trapped here for life. 128 00:11:52,101 --> 00:11:56,313 I dream of Jeanie with the light brown hair 129 00:11:56,397 --> 00:11:58,315 A case of laryngitis. 130 00:11:58,399 --> 00:11:59,459 Is that too much to ask for? 131 00:11:59,483 --> 00:12:00,484 Borne like a vapor 132 00:12:00,567 --> 00:12:03,821 On the summer air 133 00:12:03,904 --> 00:12:10,119 I see her tripping where the bright streams play 134 00:12:10,202 --> 00:12:13,080 Turn it off a minute, will ya? 135 00:12:13,163 --> 00:12:15,999 Luther, I said turn it off! 136 00:12:16,083 --> 00:12:18,961 Okay, okay, okay! I heard ya. I heard ya. 137 00:12:19,044 --> 00:12:21,463 "I heard ya. I heard ya." Harvard man. 138 00:12:21,547 --> 00:12:23,507 Magna cum loudmouth. 139 00:12:27,136 --> 00:12:29,514 Okay, okay, okay! Take it away! 140 00:12:37,689 --> 00:12:39,816 Ah, what a glorious morning. 141 00:12:39,899 --> 00:12:42,861 The hyacinths will be plentiful this summer. 142 00:12:44,529 --> 00:12:46,072 Did you tell Flaccus the gardener 143 00:12:46,156 --> 00:12:48,533 to turn the soil and nourish those dear little roots? 144 00:12:48,616 --> 00:12:50,994 I'll tell him when he comes up for the garbage. 145 00:12:51,077 --> 00:12:53,538 And what are you having with your coffee, dear Duchess? 146 00:12:53,621 --> 00:12:56,499 Fruitcake, like I have every morning. 147 00:12:56,583 --> 00:12:59,878 Look. Can I get you down off the chandelier for a minute? 148 00:12:59,961 --> 00:13:01,421 Okay. What is it? 149 00:13:01,504 --> 00:13:04,257 How's about moving out of this trap? 150 00:13:05,341 --> 00:13:06,342 Where? 151 00:13:06,426 --> 00:13:07,826 We'll take a day off and we'll look. 152 00:13:07,886 --> 00:13:10,930 I can't. I've got an extra apartment to clean. 153 00:13:11,014 --> 00:13:13,975 I got two extra apartments to clean, but this is more important. 154 00:13:14,058 --> 00:13:18,396 Really, doesn't this trap ever get you down? 155 00:13:18,480 --> 00:13:20,106 No, I don't really ever think about it. 156 00:13:20,190 --> 00:13:22,693 Nor do I think about having to work as a maid. 157 00:13:22,777 --> 00:13:24,904 We're trying to stake our way into show business. 158 00:13:24,987 --> 00:13:27,531 So the only important thing right now is to save a buck. 159 00:13:27,615 --> 00:13:29,408 But doesn't it bother you what guys 160 00:13:29,492 --> 00:13:31,076 must think when they take you home? 161 00:13:31,160 --> 00:13:35,122 I never met one that I was that interested in. 162 00:13:35,206 --> 00:13:36,540 Talk to a wall. 163 00:13:40,336 --> 00:13:41,337 Yeah. 164 00:13:41,420 --> 00:13:43,214 It's me, Luther. 165 00:13:49,136 --> 00:13:51,514 I smelled the coffee through the walls. 166 00:13:51,597 --> 00:13:53,224 What walls? 167 00:13:53,307 --> 00:13:55,810 Sorry about the alarm clock. I never hear it. 168 00:13:55,893 --> 00:13:58,270 All I hear are your shoes banging. 169 00:13:58,354 --> 00:14:00,397 Mind if I have a cup of coffee? 170 00:14:00,481 --> 00:14:02,024 Help yourself. 171 00:14:02,107 --> 00:14:03,567 Oh, before I forget, 172 00:14:03,651 --> 00:14:06,362 cannot make the rehearsal tonight. 173 00:14:06,445 --> 00:14:08,322 Gotta talk to a guy about a job. 174 00:14:08,405 --> 00:14:10,407 Oh, congratulations. 175 00:14:10,491 --> 00:14:12,827 It's an offer for the summer. A barn. 176 00:14:12,911 --> 00:14:14,579 Plainfield, New Jersey. 177 00:14:14,663 --> 00:14:16,543 Oh, that's great. Grab it. It's good experience. 178 00:14:16,581 --> 00:14:18,291 All the big stars are doing it. 179 00:14:18,375 --> 00:14:22,504 No, no. This guy is a farmer. He wants me to work in his barn. 180 00:14:22,587 --> 00:14:25,048 Ah, Prince Nicholas. 181 00:14:25,131 --> 00:14:27,717 I am glad that you're back from the Crimea. 182 00:14:32,055 --> 00:14:33,682 Where the heck is the Crimea? 183 00:14:34,975 --> 00:14:37,978 You pass it on the way to Plainfield, New Jersey. 184 00:15:08,551 --> 00:15:12,221 Oh, I'm terribly sorry. Gee, please forgive me. Are you all right? 185 00:15:12,305 --> 00:15:14,682 Well, you ought to watch where you put that thing, lady. 186 00:15:14,765 --> 00:15:17,768 I know. It's absolutely stupid of me, but, gee, I am sorry. 187 00:15:17,852 --> 00:15:19,979 A guy could break every single bone in his... 188 00:15:20,563 --> 00:15:22,523 Oh. Well, hello. Hello. 189 00:15:22,607 --> 00:15:24,442 You're the same girl that was here yesterday. 190 00:15:24,525 --> 00:15:26,193 Are you sure you're not hurt? 191 00:15:26,277 --> 00:15:28,404 Who, me? No, not a scratch. 192 00:15:28,487 --> 00:15:29,906 Not a scratch. 193 00:15:29,989 --> 00:15:32,283 Funny. Uh, two days in a row. 194 00:15:32,366 --> 00:15:34,201 Maybe we could get the Red Cross 195 00:15:34,285 --> 00:15:36,287 to declare this corner a disaster area. 196 00:15:37,622 --> 00:15:40,166 Uh, as long as we've bumped... 197 00:15:44,378 --> 00:15:48,674 Uh, that girl... She, uh, just took off. 198 00:15:48,758 --> 00:15:52,386 What did you expect? Mouth-to-mouth resuscitation? 199 00:15:52,470 --> 00:15:54,013 Yeah. 200 00:16:26,004 --> 00:16:28,715 Good riddance to honorable drunk 201 00:16:28,799 --> 00:16:30,425 and lady chaser. 202 00:16:30,509 --> 00:16:36,598 May the great bird of passage deliver honorable master to California 203 00:16:36,682 --> 00:16:39,017 with happy wind in tail. 204 00:16:45,482 --> 00:16:48,236 I was looking forward to that trip to California. 205 00:16:48,319 --> 00:16:50,321 Are you sure Dunhill beat us out? 206 00:16:50,405 --> 00:16:52,448 Well, Dunhill called me himself. Hmm. 207 00:16:52,532 --> 00:16:54,409 Had a good three-minute gloat. 208 00:16:54,492 --> 00:16:56,452 If I hadn't been so involved with Leona's divorce, 209 00:16:56,494 --> 00:16:59,414 I would have been out in LA a week ago and had the deal in my pocket. 210 00:17:00,289 --> 00:17:02,709 You know, Harve, I hate to see you so hacked up. 211 00:17:02,792 --> 00:17:04,627 I wish there was something I could do. 212 00:17:04,711 --> 00:17:07,088 Marry Leona. Get me off the alimony hook. 213 00:17:07,171 --> 00:17:09,257 That good a friend I'm not. 214 00:17:09,340 --> 00:17:11,884 I'll give you three of my Pirraux paintings in your apartment. 215 00:17:14,095 --> 00:17:15,179 How much are they worth? 216 00:17:15,263 --> 00:17:16,973 $25,000 apiece. 217 00:17:18,266 --> 00:17:20,143 I have to take Leona? Yeah. 218 00:17:21,352 --> 00:17:22,812 Forget it. 219 00:17:25,273 --> 00:17:26,774 Fair-weather friend. 220 00:17:28,776 --> 00:17:30,945 Oh, well. Another audition down the drain. 221 00:17:31,029 --> 00:17:32,989 Hey, anybody want to share a cab to the village? 222 00:17:33,072 --> 00:17:34,299 No, thanks. I'm being picked up. 223 00:17:34,323 --> 00:17:35,426 I gotta wait for my boyfriend. 224 00:17:35,450 --> 00:17:36,909 Vickie and I are stopping for coffee. 225 00:17:36,993 --> 00:17:38,369 Okay. 226 00:17:39,203 --> 00:17:40,873 You know, um, 227 00:17:40,956 --> 00:17:43,292 I thought you had the best dialect tonight. 228 00:17:43,375 --> 00:17:44,918 Sorry you didn't get the part. 229 00:17:45,002 --> 00:17:47,397 Oh, thank you, and I'm sorry you didn't get the part, Hatacki. 230 00:17:47,421 --> 00:17:49,590 I mean, after all, you are Japanese. 231 00:17:50,215 --> 00:17:51,717 Taxi! 232 00:17:51,800 --> 00:17:54,261 Um, if you have the best talent 233 00:17:54,344 --> 00:17:56,889 and I have the best face, well, 234 00:17:56,972 --> 00:17:59,099 what has she got? 235 00:17:59,183 --> 00:18:00,267 As soon as you walked on... 236 00:18:00,350 --> 00:18:01,351 You were sensational! 237 00:18:01,435 --> 00:18:03,437 Wasn't she just great? 238 00:18:03,520 --> 00:18:05,272 The part! 239 00:18:11,278 --> 00:18:13,197 Washington Square. 240 00:18:23,040 --> 00:18:24,500 If you want to commit suicide, 241 00:18:24,583 --> 00:18:25,643 why don't you jump off a bridge? 242 00:18:25,667 --> 00:18:27,503 What's the matter with you, Mac? 243 00:18:27,586 --> 00:18:29,213 See this nut hit me? 244 00:18:29,296 --> 00:18:31,131 Don't be a wise guy. 245 00:18:43,436 --> 00:18:44,789 You know, I get the funniest feeling 246 00:18:44,813 --> 00:18:46,373 that somebody's trying to tell us something. 247 00:18:46,397 --> 00:18:49,192 Well, I hope we find out what it is before we kill each other. 248 00:18:49,275 --> 00:18:50,276 Hey, I got a thought. 249 00:18:50,360 --> 00:18:51,420 Why don't we duck into that bar 250 00:18:51,444 --> 00:18:53,196 and see if we can't decipher the message? 251 00:18:53,279 --> 00:18:54,656 All right. 252 00:18:54,739 --> 00:18:56,699 Don't you know signals? I had my arm up. 253 00:18:56,783 --> 00:18:58,844 Here, fellas. This ought to straighten out the whole beef. 254 00:18:58,868 --> 00:19:00,245 If a cop don't show up. 255 00:19:13,258 --> 00:19:14,759 Here. 256 00:19:17,387 --> 00:19:18,763 What'll it be? 257 00:19:18,847 --> 00:19:22,851 Uh, ooh, something light. Uh, quinine water with just a drop of gin. 258 00:19:22,934 --> 00:19:25,271 Vodka martini for me, please. 259 00:19:25,354 --> 00:19:28,107 You know, we're gonna have to come up with some sort of a system, 260 00:19:28,190 --> 00:19:30,234 because now it's a matter of survival. 261 00:19:30,317 --> 00:19:33,654 Well, why don't we check itineraries each morning 262 00:19:33,737 --> 00:19:35,197 so that we can avoid each other? 263 00:19:35,281 --> 00:19:38,701 Well, I... I want to continue to meet you, but not head-on, you see. 264 00:19:38,784 --> 00:19:40,786 Well, I'll tell you. Let's divide the town in half. 265 00:19:40,870 --> 00:19:42,872 You take the north, and I'll take the south, 266 00:19:42,955 --> 00:19:44,832 and we can talk across the border. 267 00:19:44,915 --> 00:19:46,667 Well, before we get to strategy, 268 00:19:46,750 --> 00:19:48,878 I think a few vital statistics are in order. 269 00:19:48,961 --> 00:19:52,631 Now, you said your name was Joan, and I assume you're a model. 270 00:19:52,715 --> 00:19:54,633 What makes you assume that? 271 00:19:54,717 --> 00:19:57,261 Well, that hatbox is a dead giveaway. 272 00:19:57,720 --> 00:19:59,805 Wrong. Actress? 273 00:19:59,889 --> 00:20:03,642 Well, I'm studying to be, but that's not what I do for a living. 274 00:20:03,726 --> 00:20:05,561 Well, what do you do for a living? 275 00:20:05,644 --> 00:20:09,356 Uh, that's my secret. 276 00:20:09,440 --> 00:20:10,441 Bet I can guess it. 277 00:20:10,524 --> 00:20:14,028 Well, there's really no trick to it if you try long enough. 278 00:20:14,111 --> 00:20:15,488 Ten questions. 279 00:20:15,572 --> 00:20:19,075 Okay, but, you know, even if you do guess it, I might not tell you. 280 00:20:20,285 --> 00:20:22,412 Bartender, let me have some swizzle sticks, please. 281 00:20:25,290 --> 00:20:28,960 Mmm. No, I'd like 10 of them. We're gonna play a game. 282 00:20:34,132 --> 00:20:35,342 Thank you. 283 00:20:35,425 --> 00:20:39,304 Uh, could I avail myself of your services”?? 284 00:20:39,387 --> 00:20:41,181 Mmm, yes. 285 00:20:41,264 --> 00:20:44,809 Uh-huh. Is there any special training required for what you do? 286 00:20:44,893 --> 00:20:47,312 Oh, very little. 287 00:20:47,395 --> 00:20:51,024 Well, uh, could what you do be done in a... In an office? 288 00:20:52,734 --> 00:20:54,194 An apartment? Mostly. 289 00:20:56,529 --> 00:20:57,656 No. No. 290 00:20:57,739 --> 00:20:59,574 Are your clients exclusively male? 291 00:20:59,658 --> 00:21:01,368 Yes. I see. 292 00:21:01,451 --> 00:21:03,620 Uh, is a telephone essential in your work? 293 00:21:03,703 --> 00:21:06,790 Very essential. 294 00:21:08,793 --> 00:21:12,088 Would what you do bring extra comfort and happiness to me? 295 00:21:12,922 --> 00:21:14,840 Well, I'd like to think it would. 296 00:21:16,217 --> 00:21:17,510 Are you in business for yourself? 297 00:21:17,593 --> 00:21:20,012 Oh, no. No, no. I'm with an organized group. 298 00:21:20,096 --> 00:21:22,765 Uh, you know, you only have two questions left. 299 00:21:22,848 --> 00:21:24,809 Well, is there any risk involved in what you do? 300 00:21:24,892 --> 00:21:27,061 Oh, my goodness, yes. Well, do you know that 301 00:21:27,144 --> 00:21:29,021 last week a girl fell off the fireplace? 302 00:21:34,777 --> 00:21:37,321 And you won't believe what happened to me not long ago. 303 00:21:37,405 --> 00:21:40,157 The sofa caught fire. Well, do you know that I just got a broom, 304 00:21:40,241 --> 00:21:44,120 beat it out, and I went on as though nothing had happened. 305 00:21:47,039 --> 00:21:49,166 Well, one last question. Um... Okay. 306 00:21:49,250 --> 00:21:51,002 Do your clients have to be present 307 00:21:51,085 --> 00:21:52,885 in order to avail themselves of your services? 308 00:21:52,962 --> 00:21:54,547 No. 309 00:21:54,630 --> 00:21:56,007 Well, that's a relief. 310 00:21:56,090 --> 00:21:57,383 Well, what do you mean by that? 311 00:21:57,466 --> 00:21:59,219 Nothing. Nothing at all. Forget it. 312 00:21:59,303 --> 00:22:02,347 I'm sure whatever you do you do very, very well. 313 00:22:02,431 --> 00:22:04,617 Ooh, my goodness. It's getting late. I've gotta be going. 314 00:22:04,641 --> 00:22:06,160 Well, I'll have you home in no time. Check, please. 315 00:22:06,184 --> 00:22:07,686 Please don't bother. 316 00:22:07,769 --> 00:22:09,479 You know, it's really quite a ways. 317 00:22:09,563 --> 00:22:10,856 Oh, it's no bother at all. 318 00:22:10,939 --> 00:22:13,650 By the way, I wish you a lot of luck on your acting career. 319 00:22:13,734 --> 00:22:14,961 You know, it's a very difficult business. 320 00:22:14,985 --> 00:22:16,361 Don't I know. 321 00:22:16,445 --> 00:22:19,990 The last job I had was in a patriotic pageant. It was six months ago. 322 00:22:20,073 --> 00:22:22,117 Well, I performed before 14,000 men 323 00:22:22,200 --> 00:22:23,994 at a convention in Atlantic City. 324 00:22:24,619 --> 00:22:26,621 I even got nine curtain calls. 325 00:22:33,628 --> 00:22:37,341 Hey, Charlie. You ever been to one of them conventions in Atlantic City? 326 00:22:37,424 --> 00:22:40,469 Nope. You know, I think we're missing something. 327 00:22:42,471 --> 00:22:44,723 Well, it's quite late, and, really, 328 00:22:44,806 --> 00:22:47,225 I feel guilty about taking you out of your way. 329 00:22:47,309 --> 00:22:49,227 Well, how do you know what my way is? 330 00:22:49,311 --> 00:22:50,831 We might live right next door to each other. 331 00:22:50,855 --> 00:22:53,733 After all, I have seen you up around 62nd Street. 332 00:22:54,525 --> 00:22:55,902 Say, taxi! 333 00:23:09,874 --> 00:23:11,167 Where to, folks? 334 00:23:11,250 --> 00:23:12,460 62nd Street. 335 00:23:12,543 --> 00:23:14,045 What did I tell ya? 336 00:23:23,596 --> 00:23:26,057 So this cop kind of looks at me nasty-like, 337 00:23:26,140 --> 00:23:28,184 and he says, "It's a good thing I wasn't" 338 00:23:28,267 --> 00:23:31,145 "pending down fixing a run in my stocking." 339 00:23:31,229 --> 00:23:32,271 Broke me up, I tell ya. 340 00:23:32,355 --> 00:23:33,439 Which house, lady? 341 00:23:33,523 --> 00:23:35,817 Oh. Uh, the one right over there by the fire hydrant. 342 00:23:36,234 --> 00:23:37,568 Okay. 343 00:23:48,914 --> 00:23:50,457 You live here? Yes. 344 00:23:50,541 --> 00:23:53,210 And I want to thank you for a very lovely evening. 345 00:23:53,293 --> 00:23:54,294 Good night. 346 00:23:54,378 --> 00:23:55,504 Don't go away. 347 00:23:58,507 --> 00:24:01,552 Uh... You don't have to take me to the door. Really. 348 00:24:01,635 --> 00:24:02,803 But I want to. 349 00:24:07,057 --> 00:24:09,685 Well, good night again. 350 00:24:12,771 --> 00:24:15,023 Tom, please don't bother. 351 00:24:15,107 --> 00:24:17,317 I insist on walking you to your door. 352 00:24:17,401 --> 00:24:20,112 But... But it's silly for you to climb all those stairs. 353 00:24:20,195 --> 00:24:23,031 But I want to. Believe me, I want to. 354 00:24:39,799 --> 00:24:42,844 Well, good night again. 355 00:24:46,598 --> 00:24:49,142 Uh, may I ask how long you've lived here? 356 00:24:49,225 --> 00:24:51,686 Oh, just a very short while. 357 00:24:52,770 --> 00:24:54,522 Good night. 358 00:25:01,905 --> 00:25:03,490 Uh, yes, Tom? 359 00:25:03,573 --> 00:25:06,409 We never did get to, uh, last names. 360 00:25:09,037 --> 00:25:11,414 No, uh, so we didn't, did we? 361 00:25:11,498 --> 00:25:14,501 Uh, Milford. 362 00:25:14,584 --> 00:25:16,377 Joan Milford. 363 00:25:18,338 --> 00:25:19,380 I'm baffled. 364 00:25:19,464 --> 00:25:20,673 What did you say? 365 00:25:20,757 --> 00:25:23,051 Uh, Baffle. Tom Baffle. 366 00:25:23,134 --> 00:25:25,303 Like confused? 367 00:25:25,386 --> 00:25:27,139 Very. 368 00:25:29,642 --> 00:25:31,393 Good night. 369 00:26:02,967 --> 00:26:05,511 It's you. Um... 370 00:26:05,594 --> 00:26:09,014 Oh, I hate to leave dirty milk bottles in the hallway. 371 00:26:11,141 --> 00:26:14,562 By the way, I was wondering, could I take you out tomorrow night? 372 00:26:14,645 --> 00:26:17,398 Oh, I'd... I'd love to meet you some place. 373 00:26:17,481 --> 00:26:21,152 Well, I think this place is most convenient for me. How about 8:00? 374 00:26:21,236 --> 00:26:22,612 Well, I don't expect to be... 375 00:26:22,696 --> 00:26:23,989 Tomorrow night at 8:00. 376 00:26:24,072 --> 00:26:25,282 Good night. 377 00:26:25,365 --> 00:26:26,700 Again. 378 00:26:28,159 --> 00:26:29,995 Again. 379 00:26:50,807 --> 00:26:52,475 Where next? 380 00:26:52,559 --> 00:26:54,394 I don't know. 381 00:26:54,477 --> 00:26:56,021 Don't you want to go home? 382 00:26:56,104 --> 00:26:57,647 I am home. 383 00:27:01,359 --> 00:27:03,570 What do you want me to do? Drive you up the steps? 384 00:27:07,532 --> 00:27:09,200 58th Street Towers. 385 00:27:17,543 --> 00:27:18,836 But where did she get a key? 386 00:27:18,919 --> 00:27:21,297 I don't know. I don't know. 387 00:27:21,380 --> 00:27:23,549 Call the police, Tom. She's after the paintings. 388 00:27:23,633 --> 00:27:26,218 I'll be personally responsible for the paintings. 389 00:27:26,302 --> 00:27:28,222 Somebody just stole your apartment and your name, 390 00:27:28,304 --> 00:27:31,223 and you're gonna be responsible for my... Call the police. 391 00:27:31,307 --> 00:27:34,977 I will not call the police because I'm not convinced that this girl is a thief. 392 00:27:35,061 --> 00:27:37,688 Now, I've gotta find out for myself just what's going on. 393 00:27:39,357 --> 00:27:42,109 And while you're trying to find out, where do you expect to live? 394 00:27:42,193 --> 00:27:45,655 Harvey. Harvey, what are friends for? 395 00:27:45,738 --> 00:27:48,074 I mean, when you needed a home for your paintings, 396 00:27:48,157 --> 00:27:50,076 why, who did you come to? 397 00:28:05,384 --> 00:28:07,320 I hope you don't mind if I don't make it up for you. 398 00:28:07,344 --> 00:28:08,345 That's all right. 399 00:28:08,428 --> 00:28:10,472 Say, uh, do you have an extra key? Hmm? 400 00:28:10,555 --> 00:28:11,890 An extra key. 401 00:28:11,973 --> 00:28:13,767 Over my dead body. 402 00:28:13,850 --> 00:28:17,312 Harvey, are we bosom pals? I mean, bosom pals. 403 00:28:17,396 --> 00:28:18,855 Yeah, bosom, yes. Key, no. 404 00:28:20,315 --> 00:28:22,335 Do you realize what would happen if I did call the police? 405 00:28:22,359 --> 00:28:24,754 Why, the paintings would become a matter of public information 406 00:28:24,778 --> 00:28:26,279 and community property. 407 00:28:27,489 --> 00:28:30,575 Now, either you give me the key, or, uh, 408 00:28:30,659 --> 00:28:32,619 I'll have to call the police. 409 00:28:42,462 --> 00:28:44,256 You bring one little bunny up to this place, 410 00:28:44,339 --> 00:28:46,025 I'll have you both arrested for trespassing. 411 00:28:46,049 --> 00:28:47,843 Me? Yeah. 412 00:28:49,177 --> 00:28:50,178 Who are you calling? 413 00:28:50,262 --> 00:28:53,975 I'm gonna call my place, because I cannot believe what has happened. 414 00:28:54,100 --> 00:28:55,619 Hey, do you think I had some sort of a lapse? 415 00:28:58,813 --> 00:28:59,856 The line's busy. 416 00:28:59,939 --> 00:29:02,251 Why, of course it's busy. She's probably calling the truck. 417 00:29:02,275 --> 00:29:04,318 Come and get it! 418 00:29:06,154 --> 00:29:12,243 Goldilocks. I feel just like Goldilocks sleeping in Papa Bear's bed. 419 00:29:12,326 --> 00:29:13,786 What? 420 00:29:13,953 --> 00:29:16,330 Oh, relax. Milford's in California. 421 00:29:16,414 --> 00:29:19,083 And, well, I just couldn't let Baffle see where we live. 422 00:29:19,167 --> 00:29:22,086 Look. I got no time to horse around. The sink is stopped up, 423 00:29:22,170 --> 00:29:24,964 the fuse blew in the bathroom, and we got ants in the refrigerator. 424 00:29:25,047 --> 00:29:27,800 Now you get out of that bed and you come right home. 425 00:29:27,884 --> 00:29:29,719 But I'm stuck here. And besides, 426 00:29:29,802 --> 00:29:31,429 we have another date tomorrow night. 427 00:29:31,512 --> 00:29:33,639 Oh, be a good kid, Audrey, and bring my white dress 428 00:29:33,723 --> 00:29:36,017 and my cold cream and toothbrush, huh? 429 00:29:36,100 --> 00:29:40,146 You get home this very minute, or I'll come over and get you. 430 00:29:42,231 --> 00:29:45,360 You can't just move into somebody's apartment without permission. 431 00:29:45,444 --> 00:29:47,529 It's forcible entry. It's trespassing. 432 00:29:47,613 --> 00:29:49,948 It's a criminal offense, punishable by law. 433 00:29:57,414 --> 00:29:59,291 He's in California, huh? 434 00:30:13,472 --> 00:30:15,098 Where am I? 435 00:30:18,352 --> 00:30:21,480 Oh. All right. Come on. Goldilocks, get up. It's morning. 436 00:30:21,563 --> 00:30:22,689 Come on. Up, up, up. Up. 437 00:30:22,773 --> 00:30:25,317 I heard ya. I heard ya. I heard ya. 438 00:30:28,737 --> 00:30:30,322 Hey, this is the life. 439 00:30:32,157 --> 00:30:34,284 Why don't you go in and tub first 440 00:30:34,368 --> 00:30:37,163 while I just wallow in this ecstasy, huh? 441 00:30:38,164 --> 00:30:39,833 Hey, Joan, let's not get carried away. 442 00:30:39,916 --> 00:30:42,544 You know, we are trespassing. We could get arrested. 443 00:30:44,045 --> 00:30:45,797 You worry too much. I do, huh? 444 00:30:46,965 --> 00:30:48,859 Suppose Milford made a sudden return to New York. 445 00:30:48,883 --> 00:30:51,511 Suppose he walked into this room right now. 446 00:30:51,594 --> 00:30:53,471 Would you want to be found here like this? 447 00:30:53,555 --> 00:30:57,225 I should say not. I'm gonna go bathe and then put some makeup on. 448 00:31:03,022 --> 00:31:05,525 Leave me some of that hot water, will ya? 449 00:31:06,693 --> 00:31:08,528 I heard ya. I heard ya. 450 00:31:10,488 --> 00:31:12,323 Did you ever meet this Milford guy? 451 00:31:12,407 --> 00:31:15,201 Uh-uh. I only sweep up the remains. 452 00:31:15,952 --> 00:31:18,288 Any idea what his racket is? 453 00:31:18,371 --> 00:31:20,665 Well, I'd say he books talent for orgies. 454 00:31:20,748 --> 00:31:23,001 I got news for ya. 455 00:31:23,084 --> 00:31:24,419 He's a jockey. 456 00:31:24,502 --> 00:31:26,004 A what? 457 00:31:26,087 --> 00:31:27,547 A jockey. 458 00:31:29,300 --> 00:31:31,218 I found this in the night table. 459 00:31:31,302 --> 00:31:33,554 "Ginny Frazell. Chestnut hair. Spirited." 460 00:31:33,637 --> 00:31:36,307 "Good legs. Slow starter, but great in stretch." 461 00:31:36,390 --> 00:31:38,559 "Murray Hill, 37599." 462 00:31:38,642 --> 00:31:40,644 If he ain't a jockey, he sure loves horses. 463 00:31:40,728 --> 00:31:44,106 He'll love anything. I clean up this stable. I know. 464 00:31:44,189 --> 00:31:46,275 Here. Read this one. 465 00:31:46,358 --> 00:31:48,611 "Agnes Whitby. Good disposition." 466 00:31:48,694 --> 00:31:50,905 "Affectionate. Slightly nervous." 467 00:31:50,988 --> 00:31:53,115 "Needs two or three outings." 468 00:31:53,198 --> 00:31:56,702 I guess if he likes you, he shoves a piece of sugar in your mouth. 469 00:31:57,828 --> 00:32:01,040 Oh. Oh, "Flo Whitby. Mother of Agnes." 470 00:32:01,123 --> 00:32:06,086 "Superb track record. Breaks fast, always there at the finish." 471 00:32:06,170 --> 00:32:09,757 So what's a swinging jockey like him doing with a bottle of bubble bath? 472 00:32:09,840 --> 00:32:11,926 Maybe his mother visits him once in a while. 473 00:32:12,009 --> 00:32:13,260 Or Agnes' mother. 474 00:32:13,344 --> 00:32:16,013 Do you think it'd be all right if we stayed again tonight? 475 00:32:17,056 --> 00:32:20,059 I've got enough apartments to clean without adding a new one. 476 00:32:20,727 --> 00:32:22,771 Just one more night. 477 00:32:22,854 --> 00:32:25,398 I mean, how can you give up that wonderful bathtub? 478 00:32:25,482 --> 00:32:27,400 Suppose he asks you for a date tomorrow night? 479 00:32:27,484 --> 00:32:29,778 And the next night, and the next? 480 00:32:30,487 --> 00:32:33,406 Yeah, that's true. 481 00:32:33,490 --> 00:32:35,951 I can't wear the same dress each time, can 1? 482 00:32:36,034 --> 00:32:38,078 Now wait a second. 483 00:32:42,415 --> 00:32:44,215 Your stuff's on the left. Mine's on the right. 484 00:32:44,292 --> 00:32:45,835 It's a pretty tight squeeze. 485 00:32:45,919 --> 00:32:47,337 What about the other closet? 486 00:32:47,420 --> 00:32:49,005 Oh, it's loaded. 487 00:32:49,089 --> 00:32:51,591 He's got fishing rods, diving equipment, a bowling ball. 488 00:32:51,675 --> 00:32:54,010 There's even a saddle in there. 489 00:32:54,094 --> 00:32:56,388 Hey, maybe he really is a jockey. 490 00:32:56,471 --> 00:32:58,390 Call Agnes. See if she whinnies. 491 00:32:58,473 --> 00:33:00,600 Ew. It's 8:00. I'd better get a move on. 492 00:33:00,684 --> 00:33:02,352 Now you remember what I said. 493 00:33:02,435 --> 00:33:04,354 Don't let Baffle into this apartment. 494 00:33:04,437 --> 00:33:06,439 It's about as feminine as a wrestler's locker room. 495 00:33:06,523 --> 00:33:08,358 A guy takes a girl out for a big evening. 496 00:33:08,441 --> 00:33:10,235 Now how can I tell him to wait in the hall? 497 00:33:10,318 --> 00:33:12,279 I'll tell you how. 498 00:33:12,363 --> 00:33:15,616 You say, "Wait in the hall." That's how. 499 00:33:15,700 --> 00:33:18,077 Oh, now you're a big help. 500 00:33:18,160 --> 00:33:21,455 Well, next time some Joe takes you out, you have to do like I do. 501 00:33:21,539 --> 00:33:23,374 I tell them I live in Connecticut. 502 00:33:23,457 --> 00:33:27,294 Then they take me to Grand Central Station, and I duck into the subway. 503 00:33:27,378 --> 00:33:30,631 So what happens when they insist on putting you on the train? 504 00:33:30,715 --> 00:33:33,134 So once in a while I spend a night in New Haven. 505 00:33:34,593 --> 00:33:35,970 Now you remember what I said. 506 00:33:37,179 --> 00:33:38,180 Don't let him in. 507 00:33:38,264 --> 00:33:39,890 What if he insists when we come back? 508 00:33:39,974 --> 00:33:41,284 So I'll move the sofa out into the hallway. 509 00:33:41,308 --> 00:33:42,393 Ooh, thanks a lot. 510 00:33:42,476 --> 00:33:44,353 Coming! 511 00:33:44,437 --> 00:33:46,063 Now remember what I said. 512 00:33:46,147 --> 00:33:49,191 Hi, Tom. 513 00:33:49,275 --> 00:33:51,485 Uh, I'm kind of early. You mind if I come in? 514 00:33:51,569 --> 00:33:55,197 The place is such a mess. You see, I'm having maid trouble. 515 00:33:59,660 --> 00:34:03,122 Yeah. We can't get 'em out of the bathtub. 516 00:34:07,794 --> 00:34:09,171 Quinine water and a drop of gin. 517 00:34:09,254 --> 00:34:10,255 Vodka martini. 518 00:34:13,425 --> 00:34:15,177 Charlie. 519 00:34:15,260 --> 00:34:16,261 Charlie. 520 00:34:16,344 --> 00:34:19,723 There's that little swinger I was telling you about. 521 00:34:21,767 --> 00:34:23,810 The cute little kid? 522 00:34:23,894 --> 00:34:26,229 You've been in that domestic vodka again. 523 00:34:26,313 --> 00:34:29,107 Now take these over and lay an ear on 'em. 524 00:34:29,191 --> 00:34:33,111 You'll hear talk that'll singe the fuzz right out of your navel. 525 00:34:34,071 --> 00:34:35,947 You know, Joan, I admire you. 526 00:34:36,031 --> 00:34:37,115 I mean, you are a rarity. 527 00:34:38,492 --> 00:34:40,494 Well... Thank you. 528 00:34:40,577 --> 00:34:44,164 With everybody crying about the immorality of the times, uh, 529 00:34:44,247 --> 00:34:46,124 here you are, a little puritan, 530 00:34:46,208 --> 00:34:48,877 in the middle of this great, big, evil city. 531 00:34:48,960 --> 00:34:50,587 Won't allow a man into her apartment. 532 00:34:50,670 --> 00:34:52,390 Well, I told you, 533 00:34:52,422 --> 00:34:54,382 my housekeeper didn't show up. 534 00:34:54,466 --> 00:34:57,345 Now you know that's not so. You're just being respectable and proper. 535 00:34:57,428 --> 00:34:58,763 And I commend you for it. 536 00:34:58,846 --> 00:35:01,224 Well, a girl should be careful. 537 00:35:01,307 --> 00:35:03,035 I mean, just recently a fellow took me out to dinner, 538 00:35:03,059 --> 00:35:04,227 and then to a show, 539 00:35:04,310 --> 00:35:05,788 and then really got terribly upset with me 540 00:35:05,812 --> 00:35:07,730 because I wouldn't let him kiss me good night. 541 00:35:07,814 --> 00:35:09,273 Well, you stay old-fashioned. 542 00:35:09,357 --> 00:35:11,609 And as far as my interest in your apartment is concerned, 543 00:35:11,692 --> 00:35:13,653 why, it's, uh, purely professional. 544 00:35:14,946 --> 00:35:16,489 Professional? 545 00:35:16,572 --> 00:35:17,907 You see, I'm interested 546 00:35:17,990 --> 00:35:19,259 in the things that people live with. 547 00:35:19,283 --> 00:35:22,954 Furnishings, accessories, uh, paintings. 548 00:35:23,037 --> 00:35:25,164 Paintings? Well, I certainly don't have any of those. 549 00:35:25,248 --> 00:35:27,250 You don't? No. 550 00:35:27,333 --> 00:35:28,613 Not unless you can call something 551 00:35:28,668 --> 00:35:30,086 that looks like a two-headed man 552 00:35:30,169 --> 00:35:33,297 with a three-legged chicken standing on one of them paintings. 553 00:35:33,381 --> 00:35:35,591 Oh. Well, that sounds very impressionistic, 554 00:35:35,675 --> 00:35:37,510 uh, somebody like Jacques Pirraux. 555 00:35:37,593 --> 00:35:39,071 Now they could be very valuable, so if I were you, 556 00:35:39,095 --> 00:35:40,721 I would take very good care of them. 557 00:35:40,805 --> 00:35:44,350 Well, is that your business? Paintings? 558 00:35:44,433 --> 00:35:47,311 Not exactly. I... I'm an interior decorator. 559 00:35:50,315 --> 00:35:52,985 You? An interior decorator? 560 00:35:53,068 --> 00:35:54,611 Well, why not? I mean, is it so strange 561 00:35:54,695 --> 00:35:57,614 that I enjoy chintzes and frilly gingerbready knickknacks? 562 00:35:57,698 --> 00:35:58,782 Well, no. 563 00:35:58,866 --> 00:36:00,159 No. 564 00:36:00,242 --> 00:36:02,911 It's just that I never thought of you in that way. 565 00:36:04,288 --> 00:36:06,373 Anyone ever tell you you don't hear so good? 566 00:36:06,456 --> 00:36:09,918 She's a Girl Scout, and he's an interior decorator. 567 00:36:10,002 --> 00:36:12,254 That's an interior decorator? 568 00:36:12,337 --> 00:36:15,424 Not only don't you hear good, you don't see good. 569 00:36:17,509 --> 00:36:20,345 I think it's so exciting what you do. 570 00:36:20,429 --> 00:36:23,891 Well, you know, the sight of an old Flemish tapestry in muted tones, 571 00:36:23,974 --> 00:36:26,560 or a Louis XV credenza... 572 00:36:26,643 --> 00:36:29,021 Why, they do things to me that nothing else can do. 573 00:36:29,104 --> 00:36:30,814 Oh, I love pretty things. 574 00:36:30,898 --> 00:36:33,126 But, you know, now that I know you're an interior decorator, 575 00:36:33,150 --> 00:36:35,319 I certainly can't take you to see my place. 576 00:36:35,402 --> 00:36:38,155 But I'd love to visit your apartment. 577 00:36:38,238 --> 00:36:39,782 My apartment? 578 00:36:39,866 --> 00:36:41,075 Well, why mine? 579 00:36:42,327 --> 00:36:44,579 Well, the answer should be quite obvious, shouldn't it? 580 00:36:44,662 --> 00:36:48,082 The fact of the matter is, uh, my place is quite disorganized. 581 00:36:48,166 --> 00:36:50,919 Uh, I've been having maid trouble, too. 582 00:36:51,002 --> 00:36:52,212 Well, I tell you what. 583 00:36:52,295 --> 00:36:54,148 You take me to your apartment, and I'll show you 584 00:36:54,172 --> 00:36:55,882 what I can do with a vacuum cleaner. 585 00:36:58,927 --> 00:37:00,303 Thank you. 586 00:37:02,388 --> 00:37:04,265 Good night. Oh, night. 587 00:37:07,769 --> 00:37:09,604 You know something, Charlie? 588 00:37:09,687 --> 00:37:11,314 You're stupid. 589 00:37:14,901 --> 00:37:17,153 Oh! It's very lovely. 590 00:37:17,237 --> 00:37:20,073 Just not what I expected in a decorator's apartment. 591 00:37:20,156 --> 00:37:22,158 Uh, well, tell me more about your apartment. 592 00:37:22,242 --> 00:37:24,202 It's really quite ugly. 593 00:37:24,285 --> 00:37:26,287 What do you find so ugly about it? 594 00:37:26,371 --> 00:37:29,040 Well, those ridiculous paintings, of course. 595 00:37:29,123 --> 00:37:31,293 I'd like to toss them out. 596 00:37:32,503 --> 00:37:33,754 You didn't. 597 00:37:33,837 --> 00:37:35,673 No, but I'm thinking about it. 598 00:37:37,216 --> 00:37:39,635 Uh, let me freshen that up, huh? 599 00:37:39,718 --> 00:37:40,803 Yeah, it's warm in here. 600 00:37:40,928 --> 00:37:44,515 Well, I can, uh... I can open the door for you. 601 00:37:44,598 --> 00:37:48,269 There. Little fresh air. That's better. 602 00:37:48,352 --> 00:37:51,146 Uh, how long did you say you lived in your place? 603 00:37:51,230 --> 00:37:53,023 Oh, just a short while. 604 00:37:55,859 --> 00:37:58,570 There's something very familiar about that address. 605 00:38:00,030 --> 00:38:03,117 Yeah, in fact, I think I went to a party there one time. 606 00:38:04,910 --> 00:38:08,247 Now I can't recall the guy's name, but, uh... 607 00:38:08,330 --> 00:38:10,666 But I'm positive it was your apartment, in fact. 608 00:38:10,749 --> 00:38:12,710 It's possible. Do you know who I mean? 609 00:38:13,460 --> 00:38:15,296 I never met the gentleman. 610 00:38:21,427 --> 00:38:23,054 You know, 611 00:38:23,138 --> 00:38:25,098 a guy dreams up all sorts of deceptions 612 00:38:25,181 --> 00:38:27,017 to lure a girl up to his apartment, 613 00:38:27,100 --> 00:38:30,312 and, uh, you invited yourself here. 614 00:38:30,395 --> 00:38:32,439 Well, I trust you. 615 00:38:32,522 --> 00:38:35,358 And that's a compliment to your character. 616 00:38:36,443 --> 00:38:40,071 Well, maybe it's that you think I'm harmless, 617 00:38:40,739 --> 00:38:43,325 and, uh, that's no compliment. 618 00:38:43,408 --> 00:38:46,369 Mmm. A man is only as dangerous 619 00:38:47,579 --> 00:38:49,956 as a girl wants him to be. 620 00:38:50,040 --> 00:38:51,499 Say, what's the... 621 00:38:53,501 --> 00:38:58,340 What's the proportion of gin and quinine water in this drink? 622 00:38:59,841 --> 00:39:03,470 Oh, I'd say about, uh, even-steven. 623 00:39:03,553 --> 00:39:07,349 I'd say it was more steven than even. 624 00:39:08,516 --> 00:39:10,268 Say, 625 00:39:10,352 --> 00:39:12,270 you're not trying to get me drunk, are you? 626 00:39:13,146 --> 00:39:16,317 We'll examine the motives later, hmm? 627 00:39:16,400 --> 00:39:18,694 But later may be too late. 628 00:39:18,778 --> 00:39:20,529 You know something? 629 00:39:20,613 --> 00:39:22,156 We're talkin' too much. 630 00:39:22,239 --> 00:39:25,701 But if I don't talk, how am I gonna know what's going on? 631 00:39:25,785 --> 00:39:28,954 If anything very important happens, I, uh, 632 00:39:29,038 --> 00:39:31,207 guarantee you'll be the first to know. 633 00:39:38,756 --> 00:39:41,008 Harvey, sweetheart. 634 00:39:41,092 --> 00:39:43,594 Well, when did you get back into town? 635 00:39:43,677 --> 00:39:45,554 Well, you look just fantastic. 636 00:39:45,638 --> 00:39:48,849 Just like I always say, my place is your place. 637 00:39:48,933 --> 00:39:51,227 That's why I gave you the key, you know. 638 00:39:51,310 --> 00:39:52,395 How was your trip? 639 00:39:52,478 --> 00:39:53,538 Now, I thought I told you... 640 00:39:53,562 --> 00:39:55,624 Sure, you told me. You told me you were coming into town, 641 00:39:55,648 --> 00:39:57,876 but you never told me what time the plane would get there. 642 00:39:57,900 --> 00:39:59,318 I would have been there to meet ya. 643 00:39:59,402 --> 00:40:01,320 Hey, uh, Joan, this is Harve. 644 00:40:01,404 --> 00:40:04,407 How do you do? My best pal. Greatest pal a guy ever had. 645 00:40:04,490 --> 00:40:06,493 You are a sight for sore eyes. Will you stop that? 646 00:40:06,576 --> 00:40:07,856 Tom, I am not going to let you... 647 00:40:07,911 --> 00:40:09,079 Isn't he a sweet man? 648 00:40:09,162 --> 00:40:10,598 He's not gonna let me inconvenience myself 649 00:40:10,622 --> 00:40:12,165 by putting him up for the night. 650 00:40:12,249 --> 00:40:14,126 Well, Harvey, if you want to spend the night in 651 00:40:14,209 --> 00:40:16,002 a dreary old hotel room, you go right ahead. 652 00:40:16,086 --> 00:40:17,480 What dreary hotel room? I'm not going... 653 00:40:17,504 --> 00:40:19,649 Come on in the kitchen. I want to get you a glass of milk. 654 00:40:19,673 --> 00:40:22,259 You must have had a very, very rough trip. How was the flight? 655 00:40:22,342 --> 00:40:23,552 I'll be back in a second. 656 00:40:23,635 --> 00:40:24,886 I don't want any milk. 657 00:40:24,970 --> 00:40:26,864 It doesn't matter. There must be something in here. 658 00:40:26,888 --> 00:40:28,140 I just don't want to get... 659 00:40:28,223 --> 00:40:29,599 Now look, I thought I told you... 660 00:40:29,683 --> 00:40:31,935 Shh. This is the girl that took my place. 661 00:40:32,018 --> 00:40:33,311 What is she doing in my place? 662 00:40:33,395 --> 00:40:34,705 Well, she won't let me go to my place, 663 00:40:34,729 --> 00:40:36,189 so I had to call your place my place. 664 00:40:36,273 --> 00:40:37,375 Get her out of here, you hear? 665 00:40:37,399 --> 00:40:38,442 Out, out. 666 00:40:38,525 --> 00:40:41,361 Harve, I've been working on her. She's just starting to talk. 667 00:40:41,445 --> 00:40:43,423 Well, teach her how to walk and get her out of here. 668 00:40:43,447 --> 00:40:44,715 Look. The case is practically broken. 669 00:40:44,739 --> 00:40:45,883 She's ready to spill the beans. 670 00:40:45,907 --> 00:40:47,409 And she's no crook. 671 00:40:47,492 --> 00:40:49,679 In fact, she has no idea of the value of your paintings. 672 00:40:49,703 --> 00:40:51,583 Oh, really? Yeah. She thinks they're ridiculous. 673 00:40:51,621 --> 00:40:52,622 Oh, really? 674 00:40:52,706 --> 00:40:55,000 Yeah. So ridiculous she wants to throw 'em out. 675 00:40:55,083 --> 00:40:56,209 Is that... No. 676 00:40:56,293 --> 00:40:57,294 Yeah. Yeah. 677 00:40:57,377 --> 00:40:58,463 Oh, no. No. 678 00:40:58,546 --> 00:41:01,299 Oh, well... Well, I didn't mean it that way. It's just a joke. 679 00:41:01,382 --> 00:41:04,260 Now, I want my paintings, Tom. I... I want them tonight. Now! 680 00:41:04,343 --> 00:41:06,637 Harvey. Harvey, please. It was just a joke. I mean, I... 681 00:41:06,721 --> 00:41:09,223 The paintings are perfectly safe. They're all right. 682 00:41:09,307 --> 00:41:11,225 Now be a pal. Give me a little time. 683 00:41:11,309 --> 00:41:13,394 I'm on the five-yard line. Hey. 684 00:41:13,478 --> 00:41:15,188 Why don't you check into the Plaza Hotel? 685 00:41:15,271 --> 00:41:17,106 I'll pay for everything. All right? 686 00:41:17,190 --> 00:41:19,358 You check into the Plaza Hotel. 687 00:41:19,442 --> 00:41:22,778 Word of honor, if I detect any evidence of criminal intent, 688 00:41:22,862 --> 00:41:25,531 I'll pick up the paintings and... And call the police. 689 00:41:25,615 --> 00:41:27,366 Scout's honor. 690 00:41:30,036 --> 00:41:32,788 I've been locked in with my wife's lawyers for six hours. 691 00:41:32,872 --> 00:41:34,749 I've got indigestion. 692 00:41:35,791 --> 00:41:37,502 I'm tired. 693 00:41:37,585 --> 00:41:41,339 All I want to do is rest my head on my very own pillow. 694 00:41:41,422 --> 00:41:44,383 I'll pack it in a bag, and you can take it with you. Come on. 695 00:41:44,467 --> 00:41:47,011 Oh, thank you. Sure. I knew you'd see it my way. 696 00:41:50,307 --> 00:41:51,850 Going so soon, Harve? 697 00:41:51,934 --> 00:41:55,312 Tom, you're a terrible host. Give the man some quinine water. 698 00:41:55,395 --> 00:41:56,456 Make yourself at home, Harve. 699 00:41:56,480 --> 00:41:57,481 I have no home. 700 00:41:59,525 --> 00:42:01,485 Good night, Harve. 701 00:42:08,534 --> 00:42:10,494 What does he mean by that? 702 00:42:10,577 --> 00:42:12,037 Who, Harve? 703 00:42:12,120 --> 00:42:13,789 Well, uh, he actually is suffering 704 00:42:13,872 --> 00:42:15,666 from a terrible emotional problem. 705 00:42:15,749 --> 00:42:18,293 He... He thinks he's a wandering gypsy. 706 00:42:18,377 --> 00:42:20,420 He wears bright-colored shirts and earrings. 707 00:42:20,504 --> 00:42:22,381 Even shakes a tambourine. 708 00:42:22,464 --> 00:42:25,133 Poor Harve. 709 00:42:25,217 --> 00:42:26,385 Listen. 710 00:42:34,685 --> 00:42:35,769 Tom. 711 00:42:37,437 --> 00:42:39,189 Take me home. 712 00:42:39,273 --> 00:42:41,316 Home? Why? 713 00:42:42,193 --> 00:42:45,238 I don't think I should be here in this condition. 714 00:42:45,321 --> 00:42:47,031 What condition? 715 00:42:47,115 --> 00:42:51,160 Well... I don't know, but it feels good, and... 716 00:42:51,244 --> 00:42:54,122 I'd be afraid to feel any better. 717 00:42:54,205 --> 00:42:56,040 Don't you trust me? 718 00:42:56,124 --> 00:42:57,500 Should I? 719 00:43:41,253 --> 00:43:43,297 8:00'll be fine, Tom. 720 00:43:43,380 --> 00:43:45,299 Oh, I was looking at those paintings. 721 00:43:45,382 --> 00:43:47,551 They are by that fellow Schmeero. 722 00:43:48,761 --> 00:43:50,179 Oh, Pirraux. 723 00:43:50,262 --> 00:43:53,474 Uh, well, is he a boozer? 724 00:43:53,932 --> 00:43:55,934 Nobody sees things like that sober. 725 00:43:57,269 --> 00:43:58,812 I'd still like to toss them out. 726 00:44:00,481 --> 00:44:03,525 Tom, why do you stutter when I say that? 727 00:44:04,902 --> 00:44:07,279 Okay, I'll think about it. 728 00:44:07,363 --> 00:44:09,239 Somebody's at the door. See you at 8:00. 729 00:44:13,243 --> 00:44:14,745 Hi, guys. 730 00:44:18,165 --> 00:44:20,751 Been rehearsing since 10:00 this morning. 731 00:44:20,834 --> 00:44:23,003 Don't ask me why. 732 00:44:23,087 --> 00:44:24,963 Girl, nobody's making you do it with whips. 733 00:44:25,047 --> 00:44:26,925 You don't like the play, quit. 734 00:44:27,008 --> 00:44:29,427 Well, maybe if I knew what was going on. 735 00:44:29,511 --> 00:44:33,682 Twenty-two weeks rehearsing, and still doesn't get the author's message. 736 00:44:33,765 --> 00:44:35,934 Tell me about last night. 737 00:44:36,017 --> 00:44:37,435 Well, it was very nice. 738 00:44:37,519 --> 00:44:41,648 He's... He's considerate and refined. 739 00:44:41,731 --> 00:44:45,276 He called the play The Onion because life is like an onion. 740 00:44:45,360 --> 00:44:47,612 Peel away the skins, what have you got? 741 00:44:47,696 --> 00:44:50,156 A naked onion. Now shut up. 742 00:44:50,240 --> 00:44:53,076 All men are considerate and refined the first time out. 743 00:44:53,159 --> 00:44:55,078 No, no. Tom's really different. He's... 744 00:44:55,161 --> 00:44:56,389 Well, he's an interior decorator. 745 00:44:57,622 --> 00:44:59,207 No. Come on. 746 00:44:59,290 --> 00:45:04,045 I'm not kidding. He loves art and frilly, chintzy gingerbready things. 747 00:45:04,129 --> 00:45:06,256 That's why he wants to see this apartment so badly. 748 00:45:06,339 --> 00:45:07,966 He says he's got a lot of ideas. 749 00:45:08,800 --> 00:45:10,093 I'll bet he has. 750 00:45:11,052 --> 00:45:14,556 Look, honey, you've latched on to a very high-grade mechanic. 751 00:45:14,639 --> 00:45:17,059 He's an interior decorator like I'm an astronaut. 752 00:45:17,143 --> 00:45:20,020 First he relaxes you with the chintz bit. 753 00:45:20,104 --> 00:45:23,232 Then the next thing you know, you're asking to see his apartment. 754 00:45:23,315 --> 00:45:24,859 I've already seen his apartment. 755 00:45:24,942 --> 00:45:25,943 What did I tell ya? 756 00:45:26,026 --> 00:45:27,194 That's as far as it went. 757 00:45:27,278 --> 00:45:29,196 Patience. He'll get there. 758 00:45:29,280 --> 00:45:30,865 Look, he was a perfect gentleman. 759 00:45:30,948 --> 00:45:33,325 I went to his apartment, I had a couple of drinks. 760 00:45:33,409 --> 00:45:34,910 I got a little dizzy. 761 00:45:34,994 --> 00:45:38,080 So he brought me home and kissed me on the forehead and left. 762 00:45:40,207 --> 00:45:42,710 Could be he is an interior decorator. 763 00:45:42,793 --> 00:45:45,087 The author says life's like an onion... 764 00:45:45,171 --> 00:45:49,216 Not only because it's got skins, but also because it stinks. 765 00:45:49,300 --> 00:45:54,138 Look. Why don't you make like a potato and get boiled? 766 00:45:54,263 --> 00:45:56,056 Now leave us alone. 767 00:45:56,140 --> 00:45:57,892 He's coming here at 8:00. 768 00:45:57,975 --> 00:46:00,895 Well, just remember to keep him out in the hallway. 769 00:46:03,022 --> 00:46:05,149 Maybe I could tell him it's my brother's apartment. 770 00:46:05,232 --> 00:46:07,193 You haven't got a brother. 771 00:46:07,276 --> 00:46:08,527 Well, he doesn't know that. 772 00:46:08,611 --> 00:46:11,323 He'll find out. Men don't like women who lie. 773 00:46:11,406 --> 00:46:12,991 Besides, you got a great big doozy 774 00:46:13,074 --> 00:46:15,076 working for you right now. That's enough. 775 00:46:15,160 --> 00:46:18,872 Well, maybe we can stall him until we rent another apartment. 776 00:46:18,955 --> 00:46:20,499 Do you realize what it would cost 777 00:46:20,582 --> 00:46:22,334 to decorate one as nicely as this? 778 00:46:25,170 --> 00:46:26,880 Wait a second. 779 00:46:29,007 --> 00:46:31,176 Wait a second. 780 00:46:31,259 --> 00:46:33,678 Now, just what piece of hanky-panky 781 00:46:33,762 --> 00:46:36,306 do you have cooking in that twisted little mind? 782 00:46:43,730 --> 00:46:46,316 I just remembered. 783 00:46:46,399 --> 00:46:48,735 I got an appointment with my dentist in Jersey City. 784 00:46:48,819 --> 00:46:50,499 Well, wait for me. My teeth are killing me. 785 00:46:50,529 --> 00:46:51,530 Halt. 786 00:46:51,655 --> 00:46:53,615 No one is leaving the premises. 787 00:46:53,698 --> 00:46:55,700 I am gonna put skirts in this apartment, 788 00:46:55,784 --> 00:46:57,285 and you two are gonna help me. 789 00:47:06,295 --> 00:47:07,922 Ah, yes. 790 00:47:08,005 --> 00:47:09,507 English tailoring. 791 00:47:09,590 --> 00:47:12,176 But wearable. Wearable. 792 00:47:12,260 --> 00:47:13,302 Your husband's, ma'am? 793 00:47:15,471 --> 00:47:17,390 Hardly worn. Hardly worn. 794 00:47:17,473 --> 00:47:18,975 Uh, he left me. 795 00:47:20,393 --> 00:47:22,812 I see. How long were you married? 796 00:47:25,022 --> 00:47:27,733 Well, I... I'd rather not talk about it, if you don't mind. 797 00:47:27,817 --> 00:47:29,402 Oh, but I do mind. 798 00:47:29,485 --> 00:47:32,989 You see, I operate here under the benevolence of a police license, 799 00:47:33,072 --> 00:47:36,868 and if I accept merchandise of questionable origin, 800 00:47:36,951 --> 00:47:39,370 I jeopardize that license and my own good name. 801 00:47:39,912 --> 00:47:42,957 Well! If you're suggesting that I'm a thief... 802 00:47:43,040 --> 00:47:46,669 Well, you say you're married, but I see you wear no band. 803 00:47:48,921 --> 00:47:52,383 Or could it be that the vows were never spoken? 804 00:47:53,302 --> 00:47:55,137 Ah. Pity. 805 00:47:55,220 --> 00:47:56,430 You're in difficulty. 806 00:47:56,513 --> 00:47:59,266 But the shame is not in loving unwisely. 807 00:47:59,349 --> 00:48:04,062 The shame rests on him who would sip the nectar, you might say, 808 00:48:04,146 --> 00:48:07,274 and take flight before the blossom has fruited. 809 00:48:08,775 --> 00:48:10,193 Mr. O'Shea! 810 00:48:10,277 --> 00:48:11,320 What is it, girl? 811 00:48:11,403 --> 00:48:13,071 Oh, I'm afraid that you have... 812 00:48:13,155 --> 00:48:14,340 Oh, now, don't be afraid, child. 813 00:48:14,364 --> 00:48:16,325 Don't be afraid. Have courage. 814 00:48:16,408 --> 00:48:21,121 After all, it's the most natural and sacred of miracles. 815 00:48:21,204 --> 00:48:25,000 I'll, uh... I'll lend you $100 on the lot, 816 00:48:25,959 --> 00:48:27,461 in spite of the tailoring. 817 00:48:39,056 --> 00:48:41,975 Uh, you sure you won't sell them? 818 00:48:42,059 --> 00:48:44,102 Still hoping the rascal will return. 819 00:48:45,355 --> 00:48:48,566 They rarely do. They rarely do. 820 00:48:48,650 --> 00:48:51,527 No, no, you... You make a new life for yourself. 821 00:48:51,611 --> 00:48:53,363 Develop an interest. 822 00:48:53,446 --> 00:48:54,948 Have you any musical ability? 823 00:48:55,031 --> 00:48:56,366 Uh, no, sir. 824 00:48:56,449 --> 00:48:58,493 Oh? Well, here. 825 00:48:58,576 --> 00:49:01,204 Plunk on this to while away the days. 826 00:49:01,287 --> 00:49:04,499 And when the time comes I'll have a perambulator for you. 827 00:49:04,582 --> 00:49:06,209 Watch your step now as you go out. 828 00:49:06,292 --> 00:49:08,628 You've got to take great care of yourself now. 829 00:49:08,711 --> 00:49:10,546 Goodbye. Goodbye. 830 00:49:10,630 --> 00:49:12,423 God bless you. 831 00:49:13,466 --> 00:49:15,259 Oh, no. 832 00:49:15,343 --> 00:49:17,387 They can't fool O'Shea. 833 00:49:27,855 --> 00:49:30,066 Call me at the Plaza as soon as you find out. 834 00:49:30,149 --> 00:49:31,317 Harvey, will you relax? 835 00:49:31,401 --> 00:49:32,777 The paintings are all right. 836 00:49:32,860 --> 00:49:34,362 Call me anyway. 837 00:49:34,445 --> 00:49:37,825 Look. It's now 7:00. I'm gonna push the watch up to 8:00. 838 00:49:37,908 --> 00:49:40,285 She can't possibly leave me in the hall for a whole hour. 839 00:49:40,369 --> 00:49:42,037 She's gotta ask me in. Talk to you later. 840 00:49:42,121 --> 00:49:43,455 Mmm, yeah. 841 00:50:04,601 --> 00:50:06,061 Well, hi, Tom. Hi. 842 00:50:06,979 --> 00:50:08,272 What are you doing here so early? 843 00:50:08,355 --> 00:50:09,440 Early? 844 00:50:09,523 --> 00:50:11,525 We did make it for 8:00, didn't we? 845 00:50:11,608 --> 00:50:13,068 But it's only 7:00. 846 00:50:13,152 --> 00:50:14,653 7:00? 847 00:50:15,446 --> 00:50:16,488 Well, it is racing a bit. 848 00:50:16,572 --> 00:50:19,533 I guess I am early. I'm sorry. I'll just wait out here. 849 00:50:19,616 --> 00:50:22,286 Don't be silly. Come on in. 850 00:50:23,704 --> 00:50:25,497 Well, come on! 851 00:50:44,225 --> 00:50:46,895 Uh, Tom, this is Luther. 852 00:50:46,978 --> 00:50:48,229 Hi, neighbor! 853 00:50:48,313 --> 00:50:51,524 Luth, will you get my guest a drink? I'll just be one minute. 854 00:50:51,608 --> 00:50:52,650 What are you drinkin'? 855 00:50:52,734 --> 00:50:55,111 Uh, uh, nothing, thank you. 856 00:50:55,195 --> 00:50:57,280 You name it, we've got it. 857 00:50:57,530 --> 00:51:01,242 Uh, if you don't mind I'll just browse around. 858 00:51:06,623 --> 00:51:09,292 How are they getting along out there? 859 00:51:09,375 --> 00:51:10,794 Okay, I guess. 860 00:51:10,877 --> 00:51:11,979 I'd sure like to meet the guy, 861 00:51:12,003 --> 00:51:15,048 but I look like I been working out with the Green Bay Packers. 862 00:51:19,762 --> 00:51:21,180 He's cute, isn't he? 863 00:51:21,263 --> 00:51:23,224 Not from this angle. 864 00:51:26,310 --> 00:51:27,978 He can walk, can't he? 865 00:51:28,062 --> 00:51:29,313 Sure. 866 00:51:29,396 --> 00:51:31,232 You'd better watch yourself with this guy. 867 00:51:31,315 --> 00:51:33,567 He's gotta be a wolf, from what I can see. 868 00:51:38,364 --> 00:51:40,241 Tom, what's the trouble? 869 00:51:40,324 --> 00:51:43,077 Oh, no trouble at all. I was just checking the upholstery. 870 00:51:43,160 --> 00:51:44,662 It's very fine. Very fine indeed. 871 00:51:46,038 --> 00:51:48,624 Well, I'm all ready. What's on the agenda? 872 00:51:48,707 --> 00:51:50,626 Well, I thought we'd catch a movie. 873 00:51:50,709 --> 00:51:52,461 Then I'd take you for a bite to eat. 874 00:51:52,545 --> 00:51:56,549 And then I'd like to talk to you about some exciting ideas I have 875 00:51:56,632 --> 00:51:58,342 for redoing my apartment. 876 00:51:58,425 --> 00:52:00,177 Wonderful. 877 00:52:03,305 --> 00:52:06,851 I don't know about that guy. What's he look like to you? 878 00:52:06,934 --> 00:52:09,395 Just another pretty face. 879 00:52:18,113 --> 00:52:21,449 I tell ya, if there's one thing I cannot stand, it's a clean Italian movie. 880 00:52:21,533 --> 00:52:24,870 Well, Luigi Brocatelli always plays such a wolf. 881 00:52:24,953 --> 00:52:27,330 Imagine him as an 80-year-old shoemaker! 882 00:52:27,414 --> 00:52:29,749 I wonder where there's a good spaghetti place around here. 883 00:52:29,833 --> 00:52:31,751 Hey, hiya, hotshot! Paul. 884 00:52:31,835 --> 00:52:32,878 Guys, look who's here! 885 00:52:32,961 --> 00:52:33,962 Hi, Tommy! 886 00:52:34,045 --> 00:52:35,130 Hi, Tom. How are you? 887 00:52:35,213 --> 00:52:36,214 Hi. How are you? 888 00:52:36,298 --> 00:52:38,550 Say, uh, folks, I'd like you to meet Joan. 889 00:52:38,633 --> 00:52:40,677 Joan, this is Kitty and Paul and Jeff and Helen. 890 00:52:40,760 --> 00:52:41,928 Hello, Joan. 891 00:52:42,012 --> 00:52:43,489 Long time no see, Tom. Where you been hiding? 892 00:52:43,513 --> 00:52:44,764 Oh, at the office mostly. 893 00:52:44,848 --> 00:52:46,016 Been very busy. 894 00:52:46,099 --> 00:52:47,434 Hey, let's go some place. 895 00:52:47,517 --> 00:52:48,602 Dressed like this? 896 00:52:48,685 --> 00:52:50,437 Really, some other time, huh? 897 00:52:50,520 --> 00:52:52,397 You're close by. How about your place? 898 00:52:52,480 --> 00:52:55,442 Paul's mother is staying with us. How about your place? 899 00:52:55,525 --> 00:52:58,403 The painters are coming tomorrow and the whole joint's torn up. 900 00:52:58,486 --> 00:53:01,156 How about your place, Tom? We won't stay up late. 901 00:53:01,239 --> 00:53:03,159 Uh, well, I'd love to have you over to my place, 902 00:53:03,242 --> 00:53:04,970 but, you see, the woman next door is very sick 903 00:53:04,994 --> 00:53:06,555 and the doctors are coming in and going out. 904 00:53:06,579 --> 00:53:07,622 It's terrible. 905 00:53:08,789 --> 00:53:10,601 Word of honor, I give you a call next week, all right? 906 00:53:10,625 --> 00:53:12,025 Gee, it was awfully nice to see you. 907 00:53:12,084 --> 00:53:13,353 Good night. Nice to see you. Good night. 908 00:53:13,377 --> 00:53:17,215 Gee, I'm awfully sorry about not having you over to my place. 909 00:53:17,381 --> 00:53:21,260 I have an idea. Why don't you all come over to my place? 910 00:53:23,679 --> 00:53:25,598 Why didn't I think of that? 911 00:53:28,017 --> 00:53:29,852 Four scotches, one vodka... 912 00:53:29,936 --> 00:53:31,955 Harve, the least you could do is come out and say hello. 913 00:53:31,979 --> 00:53:34,232 I will not go out there and say hello. 914 00:53:34,315 --> 00:53:37,026 Look, I just told 'em we'd stop here on the way to Joan's place. 915 00:53:37,109 --> 00:53:39,195 Okay, so take 'em to Joan's place. 916 00:53:39,320 --> 00:53:42,114 Joan has no place! My place is her place. 917 00:53:42,198 --> 00:53:43,508 And I couldn't take 'em to my place, 918 00:53:43,532 --> 00:53:44,718 because your place is my place, 919 00:53:44,742 --> 00:53:47,203 and this gang knows my place, so I had to come to your place. 920 00:53:57,297 --> 00:54:00,217 I am seriously thinking of destroying myself. 921 00:54:00,759 --> 00:54:02,803 What will you do when I'm no longer here? 922 00:54:02,886 --> 00:54:04,530 Or will you move me out of that place, too? 923 00:54:04,554 --> 00:54:06,974 Harvey. Harvey, don't be bitter. 924 00:54:07,057 --> 00:54:09,559 You know it pains me to do these things. 925 00:54:09,643 --> 00:54:11,353 I told you to call the police days ago. 926 00:54:11,436 --> 00:54:12,813 I'm worried about my paintings. 927 00:54:12,896 --> 00:54:15,732 Well, stop worrying about 'em. I'll find 'em. 928 00:54:15,816 --> 00:54:17,502 You'll find them? Well, I... I didn't mean that. 929 00:54:17,526 --> 00:54:19,820 You see, they were temporarily removed for safety's sake. 930 00:54:19,903 --> 00:54:21,822 Yeah. Uh, they should be back any... Any, uh... 931 00:54:21,905 --> 00:54:24,283 What happened to my paintings, Tom? Nothing. 932 00:54:24,366 --> 00:54:25,492 Believe me, they're safe. 933 00:54:25,575 --> 00:54:27,327 She redid my apartment, then she took 934 00:54:27,411 --> 00:54:28,930 the paintings down 'cause they didn't fit. 935 00:54:28,954 --> 00:54:30,080 But as far as being lost... 936 00:54:30,163 --> 00:54:31,164 Where are my paintings? 937 00:54:31,248 --> 00:54:32,291 I don't know. 938 00:54:32,374 --> 00:54:35,002 You don't know? You don't have... 939 00:54:36,336 --> 00:54:38,297 Don't know? Don't know... 940 00:54:38,380 --> 00:54:41,091 If you... I'm telling you... You... You don't know my... 941 00:54:41,174 --> 00:54:43,194 Oh, hello. Young lady, would you please get off the phone? 942 00:54:43,218 --> 00:54:44,386 I've gotta call the police. 943 00:54:44,469 --> 00:54:46,638 Yes, get off the line. Thank you. I... What is that? 944 00:54:46,723 --> 00:54:48,325 No, I don't want to hear about your martinis, no. 945 00:54:48,349 --> 00:54:50,143 This is an emergency. 946 00:54:50,226 --> 00:54:52,979 Room service, I want the police. No, no, I don't want the... 947 00:54:53,062 --> 00:54:56,482 What? No, I... I don't want two Scotch and four champagnes! 948 00:54:56,566 --> 00:54:58,484 All I want is the police. Yes! 949 00:54:58,568 --> 00:55:01,404 Oh, she wants them. Well, why don't you send "em over..." 950 00:55:01,487 --> 00:55:03,990 No, look, I want the police, now. Do you hear? Please get... 951 00:55:04,073 --> 00:55:06,409 Harvey, you put the police onto that girl 952 00:55:06,492 --> 00:55:09,162 and I'll have to put your wife onto those paintings. 953 00:55:09,245 --> 00:55:10,455 My friend Milford. 954 00:55:10,538 --> 00:55:12,290 My very best friend. 955 00:55:13,291 --> 00:55:14,876 Harve, go back to your apartment 956 00:55:14,959 --> 00:55:17,045 and, word of honor, I won't bug you again. 957 00:55:17,128 --> 00:55:19,589 Oh, all I want is a good night's sleep. 958 00:55:19,672 --> 00:55:22,484 My good night's sleep and my oil paintings. Now, is that asking too much? 959 00:55:22,508 --> 00:55:24,427 No. No, I think you're being very reasonable. 960 00:55:24,510 --> 00:55:26,429 I'll give you a hand. 961 00:55:27,597 --> 00:55:29,098 Here. 962 00:55:29,182 --> 00:55:30,558 Let me help you into your pants. 963 00:55:30,641 --> 00:55:32,435 I'll put on my own pants, thank you. 964 00:55:32,518 --> 00:55:34,496 Just trying to be of some help. I don't want your help. 965 00:55:34,520 --> 00:55:36,022 You've got the touch of disaster. 966 00:55:36,105 --> 00:55:37,523 You just stay away. That's all. 967 00:55:38,274 --> 00:55:39,610 My paintings. 968 00:55:40,986 --> 00:55:42,363 That's fantastic. 969 00:55:42,446 --> 00:55:44,281 Absolutely, completely fantastic. 970 00:55:44,365 --> 00:55:45,366 What is? 971 00:55:45,449 --> 00:55:47,326 You just handed me my trousers, right? 972 00:55:47,409 --> 00:55:49,286 That's all. I just handed 'em to you. 973 00:55:50,788 --> 00:55:52,539 The zipper's stuck. 974 00:55:57,127 --> 00:55:59,338 She's never been this late without calling. 975 00:55:59,421 --> 00:56:02,383 It's only 4:30. Why the sweat? She's no kid. 976 00:56:02,466 --> 00:56:06,387 Try information again. Baffle. B-A-F-F-L-E. Uh, 58th Street Towers. 977 00:56:06,470 --> 00:56:09,348 Information already said there is no phone for that name. 978 00:56:09,431 --> 00:56:11,266 Let's grab a cab and go over there. 979 00:56:11,350 --> 00:56:13,811 Why are we running? We don't even know the apartment! 980 00:56:13,894 --> 00:56:16,271 We know he has the penthouse, and that's enough. 981 00:56:42,132 --> 00:56:43,466 All right, all right. 982 00:56:44,717 --> 00:56:45,844 Ah, wait, wait! 983 00:56:49,597 --> 00:56:53,101 So that's how it is, is it? You miserable, depraved beast! 984 00:56:53,184 --> 00:56:55,562 Luth, take care of him while I get Joan. 985 00:56:55,645 --> 00:56:57,313 What? 986 00:56:57,397 --> 00:56:59,732 Wait a second! This doesn't look like the... 987 00:57:06,823 --> 00:57:09,492 All you had to do was lift a phone at the hotel. 988 00:57:09,576 --> 00:57:11,578 You can do that from any position. 989 00:57:11,661 --> 00:57:14,164 We were having so much fun, who bothered to look at the clock? 990 00:57:14,247 --> 00:57:17,542 Do you realize that we called every place in town, including the morgue? 991 00:57:19,169 --> 00:57:20,670 By the way, 992 00:57:20,753 --> 00:57:22,923 if Tom was with you, 993 00:57:23,007 --> 00:57:25,176 who did Luther punch in the face? 994 00:57:25,259 --> 00:57:27,011 Hmm. Must have been Tom's friend. 995 00:57:27,094 --> 00:57:29,180 He went back to sleep at Tom's apartment. 996 00:57:30,347 --> 00:57:32,141 Oh. Well, anyone who's stupid enough 997 00:57:32,224 --> 00:57:34,185 to answer the door at 4:30 in the morning 998 00:57:34,268 --> 00:57:36,145 deserves a punch in the face. 999 00:57:36,228 --> 00:57:39,690 I... It's getting pretty serious between Tom and me. 1000 00:57:39,773 --> 00:57:42,276 Just these few days? 1001 00:57:42,359 --> 00:57:44,487 Takes me longer to break in a pair of shoes. 1002 00:57:46,405 --> 00:57:47,948 Boy, half a dozen times last night 1003 00:57:48,032 --> 00:57:49,408 I wanted to tell him the truth, 1004 00:57:49,492 --> 00:57:51,452 but I was afraid. 1005 00:57:51,535 --> 00:57:53,913 Well, just listen to Mother Audrey. 1006 00:57:53,996 --> 00:57:55,498 Don't. 1007 00:58:02,171 --> 00:58:04,548 Do you know how to roast a duck? 1008 00:58:04,632 --> 00:58:06,634 Me? Oh, that's pretty good. 1009 00:58:06,717 --> 00:58:09,345 Ask me if I could roast a cottage cheese, I might help you. 1010 00:58:09,428 --> 00:58:12,932 Well, Tom's favorite dish is duck I'orange, 1011 00:58:13,015 --> 00:58:15,018 so I invited him up for dinner. 1012 00:58:16,478 --> 00:58:18,188 Do you get pains in your head? 1013 00:58:18,271 --> 00:58:19,457 Well, I couldn't tell him I can't cook. 1014 00:58:19,481 --> 00:58:21,316 Why couldn't you tell him you can't cook? 1015 00:58:21,399 --> 00:58:24,986 All you have to say is, "I can't cook." That means, "I can't cook." 1016 00:58:25,111 --> 00:58:27,656 You keep getting in deeper and deeper and deeper. 1017 00:58:27,781 --> 00:58:29,908 But he comes up and sees this beautiful kitchen 1018 00:58:29,991 --> 00:58:31,660 with all this beautiful equipment... 1019 00:58:31,743 --> 00:58:33,662 But a duck! I mean, The best French chef 1020 00:58:33,745 --> 00:58:35,580 in town can't make a decent duck I'orange. 1021 00:58:35,664 --> 00:58:37,791 That's with brandy and oranges, the whole schmear. 1022 00:58:37,874 --> 00:58:40,794 Well, how am I going to learn if I don't try? 1023 00:58:40,877 --> 00:58:42,379 You know, you're not well, Joanie. 1024 00:58:42,462 --> 00:58:44,256 You're not at all well. 1025 00:58:45,215 --> 00:58:47,133 Well, I am gonna roast that duck. 1026 00:58:47,217 --> 00:58:48,552 Now, if you don't want to help... 1027 00:58:48,635 --> 00:58:50,345 All right, I'll help, I'll help. 1028 00:58:51,429 --> 00:58:53,932 But what's gonna happen to that duck 1029 00:58:54,057 --> 00:58:55,517 shouldn't happen to a dog. 1030 00:58:58,228 --> 00:59:00,605 Hmm. Mother and child. 1031 00:59:02,274 --> 00:59:03,358 Let me smell. 1032 00:59:03,441 --> 00:59:04,776 Mmm. Gravy smells good. 1033 00:59:06,237 --> 00:59:09,323 You think we oughta add a little more brandy and Cointreau? 1034 00:59:10,741 --> 00:59:13,452 Gosh, I don't know. We must have a quart in there already. 1035 00:59:13,536 --> 00:59:15,788 I mean, I'd hate to have him get drunk on a duck. 1036 00:59:15,871 --> 00:59:17,832 Mmm. Hey, you'd better get washed and polished. 1037 00:59:17,915 --> 00:59:19,792 He'll be here very soon. 1038 00:59:19,875 --> 00:59:21,460 What about this kitchen? 1039 00:59:21,544 --> 00:59:23,424 Don't worry. I'll manage, and then I'll cut out. 1040 00:59:23,462 --> 00:59:24,922 I'm sure you don't want me around. 1041 00:59:25,006 --> 00:59:27,383 Gee, thanks, Audrey. I appreciate that. 1042 00:59:46,319 --> 00:59:49,530 Let's see. "Baste every 15 minutes." 1043 00:59:51,324 --> 00:59:53,326 "Keep oven at 275." 1044 01:00:02,169 --> 01:00:04,254 Oh, Joan! Joan, Joan! Joan, the duck's on fire! 1045 01:00:05,505 --> 01:00:06,506 Joan, look! The duck! 1046 01:00:06,590 --> 01:00:09,009 Oh, don't just stand there! Do something! 1047 01:00:12,554 --> 01:00:14,056 Ooh! What? 1048 01:00:14,139 --> 01:00:15,140 Do you wanna ruin it? 1049 01:00:15,223 --> 01:00:16,224 My duck! 1050 01:00:16,308 --> 01:00:17,684 The fork! Get the serving fork! 1051 01:00:17,768 --> 01:00:20,270 Quick! Don't stand there! Move! Fork! 1052 01:00:20,354 --> 01:00:22,147 Oh... Here. My duck! 1053 01:00:22,230 --> 01:00:24,066 All right, don't panic. My beautiful duck! 1054 01:00:24,149 --> 01:00:26,068 All right... 1055 01:00:26,151 --> 01:00:28,278 The broom! Get the broom! Quick! 1056 01:00:29,988 --> 01:00:31,031 Don't panic! Don't panic! 1057 01:00:31,114 --> 01:00:32,115 I'm not! I'm not! 1058 01:00:32,199 --> 01:00:34,201 Oh! Oh, I can't watch! 1059 01:00:34,284 --> 01:00:36,536 Oh, I can't watch! Oh, don't ruin it! 1060 01:00:36,620 --> 01:00:38,622 Oh! Oh! Oh, no! 1061 01:00:38,705 --> 01:00:40,916 Oh, you ruined my duck! 1062 01:00:46,380 --> 01:00:48,131 Yeah, and she'll be right over. 1063 01:00:48,215 --> 01:00:50,635 And please pack it well. 1064 01:00:50,718 --> 01:00:52,220 Thank you. 1065 01:00:52,303 --> 01:00:55,515 It's Andre's on 23rd Street. He'll have the duck all packed. 1066 01:00:55,598 --> 01:00:59,268 I'll clean up the slop and set the table before I leave. 1067 01:00:59,352 --> 01:01:01,979 Buck up. It was only a duck. 1068 01:01:03,147 --> 01:01:04,774 But she was so beautiful. 1069 01:01:06,401 --> 01:01:08,236 We all have to go some time. 1070 01:01:43,856 --> 01:01:45,524 No duck. 1071 01:02:47,086 --> 01:02:49,148 Hello, Mr. Milford. Anything to be cleaned or pressed? 1072 01:02:49,172 --> 01:02:50,357 No, Lennie. Thank you very much. 1073 01:02:50,381 --> 01:02:51,424 See you next week. 1074 01:02:51,508 --> 01:02:54,552 Hey, wait. Wait. Come to think of it, come inside. 1075 01:02:56,137 --> 01:02:59,557 You'd better take this suit because I've been living in it for a week. 1076 01:03:03,186 --> 01:03:06,064 Tomorrow okay? Yep. Tomorrow'll be fine. 1077 01:03:06,147 --> 01:03:09,317 No. Come to think of it, make it next week. 1078 01:03:11,569 --> 01:03:14,322 Better yet, I'll call for it myself. 1079 01:03:15,615 --> 01:03:17,575 Thanks, Mr. Milford. 1080 01:03:17,659 --> 01:03:20,161 That's all right. Bye, Lennie. 1081 01:03:37,680 --> 01:03:41,100 "Maid to order. This apartment serviced by Joan Howell." 1082 01:03:41,183 --> 01:03:43,394 Doesn't sound Japanese. 1083 01:03:43,477 --> 01:03:45,855 "Attention, maid, discontinue service..." 1084 01:03:50,317 --> 01:03:51,485 Joan is my maid! 1085 01:03:52,903 --> 01:03:53,946 Well, I'll be a... 1086 01:04:19,431 --> 01:04:20,974 Tom! 1087 01:04:48,293 --> 01:04:49,920 Tom? 1088 01:04:56,426 --> 01:04:57,677 Tom! 1089 01:05:05,393 --> 01:05:07,103 Taxi! 1090 01:05:08,189 --> 01:05:11,275 I'm sorry. I don't carry your kind, Maxine! 1091 01:05:28,417 --> 01:05:29,961 Well, you've got your big, fat nerve. 1092 01:05:30,044 --> 01:05:32,213 Ma'am, I wonder if I could trouble you for a dime. 1093 01:05:32,296 --> 01:05:34,066 I wonder if I could trouble you to go soak your head! 1094 01:05:34,090 --> 01:05:36,234 I'm sorry. I didn't mean to take the booth, but I have a problem. 1095 01:05:36,258 --> 01:05:37,361 Now, if I could have that dime... 1096 01:05:37,385 --> 01:05:39,845 Why don't you just take it? You've taken everything else. 1097 01:05:39,929 --> 01:05:41,847 Only the lowest, the meanest, the nastiest, 1098 01:05:41,931 --> 01:05:44,100 the cheapest kind of person would... 1099 01:05:45,142 --> 01:05:46,978 He took it. 1100 01:05:47,061 --> 01:05:49,105 He took my dime! 1101 01:05:49,397 --> 01:05:51,482 Hello, Sam? Sam, Tom Milford. 1102 01:05:51,565 --> 01:05:53,025 Yeah, listen, don't press my suit. 1103 01:05:53,109 --> 01:05:54,235 Just send it back. 1104 01:05:54,318 --> 01:05:55,778 No, no, don't unpress it. 1105 01:05:55,861 --> 01:05:57,738 Just send it back. And hurry. Okay. 1106 01:05:57,822 --> 01:05:59,699 Oh, Sam! Sam. I'm not at home. 1107 01:05:59,782 --> 01:06:01,618 I'm in a phone booth on 62nd Street, 1108 01:06:01,702 --> 01:06:03,662 right across the street from my place. Right. 1109 01:06:04,079 --> 01:06:08,500 He grabs my arm and bends my fingers back until I give him that dime. 1110 01:06:08,583 --> 01:06:10,627 Did ya ever! 1111 01:06:10,711 --> 01:06:13,422 It's the Russians. They're sprinklin' something around. 1112 01:06:13,505 --> 01:06:15,257 Makes everybody crazy. 1113 01:06:15,424 --> 01:06:17,300 Oh, and, Sam, Sam, one more thing. 1114 01:06:17,384 --> 01:06:20,929 I stole a dime from an old lady. Would you send that, too? 1115 01:06:21,013 --> 01:06:23,473 Why doesn't somebody call a cop? 1116 01:06:23,557 --> 01:06:26,351 What happened? That man stole that woman's dime! 1117 01:06:26,435 --> 01:06:28,895 Her diamond? No, no. Her dime. 1118 01:06:28,979 --> 01:06:30,063 Hey, what's going on here? 1119 01:06:30,147 --> 01:06:32,065 That man stole that woman's diamond. 1120 01:06:32,149 --> 01:06:34,317 If there was a red-blooded man around, 1121 01:06:34,401 --> 01:06:37,821 he'd go in that booth and teach that guy a lesson. 1122 01:06:37,904 --> 01:06:40,866 You got more blood than I got, lady. You go in. 1123 01:06:41,408 --> 01:06:43,410 Well, I never carry anything valuable with me. 1124 01:06:43,493 --> 01:06:45,912 I don't even carry green stamps with me. 1125 01:06:45,996 --> 01:06:48,040 All right, ladies, break it up. Break it up. 1126 01:06:48,123 --> 01:06:51,293 Officer, that fiend threw me bodily out of the phone booth 1127 01:06:51,376 --> 01:06:53,046 and took my dime! 1128 01:06:53,129 --> 01:06:55,923 I'm a witness, Officer. I saw every bit of it. 1129 01:06:56,007 --> 01:06:58,843 Where were you when she was screamin' for help? Yeah! 1130 01:06:58,926 --> 01:07:00,887 I was havin' my ears pierced. 1131 01:07:07,560 --> 01:07:10,521 Officer, would you mind waiting a moment? I haven't a thing to wear. 1132 01:07:10,605 --> 01:07:12,440 Outside. Yeah, but... 1133 01:07:12,523 --> 01:07:15,068 Outside. 1134 01:07:17,528 --> 01:07:20,198 Believe it or not, I was on my way to a duck dinner. 1135 01:07:20,281 --> 01:07:22,658 Oh, and I thought you were waiting for the 4:00 dog sled. 1136 01:07:22,742 --> 01:07:25,078 Well, I know it's unusual, but I can explain everything. 1137 01:07:25,161 --> 01:07:26,204 Sure! 1138 01:07:26,287 --> 01:07:29,665 You're Nanook of the North and I am Admiral Byrd. 1139 01:07:30,541 --> 01:07:31,709 You gotta believe me. 1140 01:07:31,793 --> 01:07:34,545 I'm a victim of circumstance, and I'm waiting for my suit. 1141 01:07:34,629 --> 01:07:37,924 Don't let him talk you out of it, Officer. He's some kind of a pre-vert. 1142 01:07:38,007 --> 01:07:40,301 I can handle this, lady. Let's take a walk. 1143 01:07:40,384 --> 01:07:42,970 Officer, you gotta believe me. I'm as sane as you are. 1144 01:07:43,054 --> 01:07:45,432 Sure you are. Saner. 1145 01:07:45,516 --> 01:07:48,352 I asked for this beat. Come on. 1146 01:07:49,061 --> 01:07:52,356 But what about my dime? Wait. Look. Look. Hold it. Hold it. 1147 01:07:52,439 --> 01:07:55,567 I told you I was just waiting for my suit. Lennie. Lennie. 1148 01:07:55,651 --> 01:07:57,486 This lady over here gets the dime, please. 1149 01:07:57,569 --> 01:07:59,029 Get in there and put it on. 1150 01:07:59,113 --> 01:08:00,614 And let me tell you something. 1151 01:08:00,697 --> 01:08:02,926 If I catch you causing any more disturbances around here, 1152 01:08:02,950 --> 01:08:05,494 I'm gonna throw you in the cookie jar and slap the lid on. 1153 01:08:05,577 --> 01:08:07,663 You understand? Yes, sir. Yes, sir. 1154 01:08:09,832 --> 01:08:10,999 Officer! 1155 01:08:11,083 --> 01:08:12,209 All right, all right! 1156 01:08:12,292 --> 01:08:13,544 Break it up! 1157 01:08:13,627 --> 01:08:14,938 What's the matter? Ain't you never seen 1158 01:08:14,962 --> 01:08:17,089 a naked man in a phone booth before? 1159 01:08:17,172 --> 01:08:19,466 Break it up! Come on! Move on! 1160 01:08:21,426 --> 01:08:23,428 Well, I knew you'd been here 1161 01:08:23,512 --> 01:08:25,430 when I saw your wallet was left on the table. 1162 01:08:25,514 --> 01:08:26,974 Well, I thought I'd just dash out 1163 01:08:27,057 --> 01:08:28,851 and have my suit pressed while I was waiting. 1164 01:08:29,601 --> 01:08:31,770 Mmm. This duck is the greatest. 1165 01:08:32,604 --> 01:08:34,731 Why, it's better than Andre's. 1166 01:08:34,815 --> 01:08:36,526 Where'd you learn to cook so well? 1167 01:08:36,609 --> 01:08:38,903 Oh, there are tricks. 1168 01:08:38,987 --> 01:08:41,823 Say, uh, are you just as good at housekeeping? 1169 01:08:41,906 --> 01:08:44,242 Mmm. I'm even better. 1170 01:08:44,325 --> 01:08:47,328 Career girl, a cook, a housekeeper. 1171 01:08:48,788 --> 01:08:51,374 Why, you're, uh... You're quite a catch. 1172 01:08:51,457 --> 01:08:54,294 It's going to take an awful lot of husband to keep up with you. 1173 01:08:54,377 --> 01:08:56,963 Or aren't you interested in getting married? 1174 01:08:57,046 --> 01:08:58,798 Now, what girl isn't? 1175 01:08:58,882 --> 01:09:00,758 Have you got anybody in mind? 1176 01:09:00,842 --> 01:09:02,635 Mmm-mmm. Not yet. 1177 01:09:03,178 --> 01:09:04,363 Well, what's he got to be like? 1178 01:09:04,387 --> 01:09:05,471 Oh, I'm wide open. 1179 01:09:05,555 --> 01:09:09,517 Preferably, uh, rich, handsome, uh, personable? 1180 01:09:09,601 --> 01:09:13,646 Well, you aim for the moon and settle for the best. 1181 01:09:14,147 --> 01:09:16,024 Well, you should have no trouble at all. 1182 01:09:16,107 --> 01:09:18,359 I mean, you're pretty, 1183 01:09:18,443 --> 01:09:20,612 uh, gifted, 1184 01:09:20,695 --> 01:09:22,614 you've got a lovely apartment. 1185 01:09:22,697 --> 01:09:25,325 Excuse me. 1186 01:09:25,408 --> 01:09:27,453 In fact, you've got a lot of things going for you. 1187 01:09:29,455 --> 01:09:33,959 Uh, well, uh, what are you looking for in a girl? 1188 01:09:34,293 --> 01:09:37,254 Well, I want everything to be in the right place, of course. 1189 01:09:37,338 --> 01:09:38,923 But there's one quality above all 1190 01:09:39,006 --> 01:09:41,675 that, well, to me is just a must. 1191 01:09:41,759 --> 01:09:43,052 Honesty. 1192 01:09:45,846 --> 01:09:48,046 You see, I believe if a girl is beautiful on the inside, 1193 01:09:48,098 --> 01:09:50,517 she can't help but be beautiful on the outside. 1194 01:09:50,601 --> 01:09:52,436 It's simple as that. 1195 01:09:52,728 --> 01:09:54,855 Um... 1196 01:09:54,939 --> 01:09:56,815 Well, uh, 1197 01:09:56,899 --> 01:09:59,610 I... I expect to be leaving here soon. 1198 01:10:02,321 --> 01:10:03,405 Where? 1199 01:10:04,490 --> 01:10:06,242 Well, I'm... I'm not sure. 1200 01:10:07,368 --> 01:10:08,608 You will let me know, won't you? 1201 01:10:10,829 --> 01:10:11,872 Do you want to know? 1202 01:10:12,873 --> 01:10:13,874 I want to know. 1203 01:10:15,459 --> 01:10:17,795 Oh, the... Wine. 1204 01:10:28,431 --> 01:10:31,351 There I am, on 62nd Street in my underwear, 1205 01:10:31,434 --> 01:10:33,395 and I can't even raise a dime. 1206 01:10:34,396 --> 01:10:35,730 What'd she do with your suits? 1207 01:10:35,814 --> 01:10:37,691 I have no idea. 1208 01:10:37,774 --> 01:10:39,067 She probably sold 'em. 1209 01:10:39,150 --> 01:10:40,652 Nah. She's not a thief. 1210 01:10:40,735 --> 01:10:42,696 She's not a compulsive liar either. 1211 01:10:42,779 --> 01:10:44,948 She's just a... Just a bush leaguer, 1212 01:10:45,031 --> 01:10:46,533 trying to make a big impression. 1213 01:10:46,616 --> 01:10:50,453 She saw an opportunity to live it up for 10 days, she grabbed it. 1214 01:10:50,537 --> 01:10:52,872 Hmm. Uh, when are you due back from the coast? 1215 01:10:52,956 --> 01:10:54,165 Day after tomorrow. 1216 01:10:54,249 --> 01:10:56,376 Good. Maybe things can get back to normal around here. 1217 01:10:56,459 --> 01:10:58,920 There's an awful lot of work piled up on your desk. 1218 01:10:59,921 --> 01:11:02,841 Harve, I was thinking of, uh, 1219 01:11:02,924 --> 01:11:05,051 delaying my return for a few days. 1220 01:11:05,135 --> 01:11:07,137 Oh, no, you're not. 1221 01:11:07,220 --> 01:11:10,140 What concern is it of yours? I mean, it's my affair. 1222 01:11:10,223 --> 01:11:13,519 Your affairs have a remarkable way of becoming my affairs. 1223 01:11:13,602 --> 01:11:14,729 Now, I've had it, Tom. 1224 01:11:14,812 --> 01:11:17,565 People waking me at 5:00 in the morning to take a punch at me. 1225 01:11:17,690 --> 01:11:20,568 Moving around all hours of the night like a wandering nomad. 1226 01:11:20,651 --> 01:11:23,112 Look, if the girl moves, I'll never see her again. 1227 01:11:23,321 --> 01:11:26,365 And, uh, I want to see her again. 1228 01:11:26,449 --> 01:11:28,135 Now, what in the world do you want with a dame 1229 01:11:28,159 --> 01:11:30,077 who's deceived you from the moment she met you? 1230 01:11:30,161 --> 01:11:32,330 I like her. It's just that simple. Yeah. 1231 01:11:32,413 --> 01:11:34,573 You can pick up that phone and call any one of 50 girls 1232 01:11:34,623 --> 01:11:36,263 who are a darn sight better than this one. 1233 01:11:36,959 --> 01:11:38,959 You are hardly an expert at picking the right girl. 1234 01:11:40,463 --> 01:11:43,632 You can stand there, you with no home and no clothes, 1235 01:11:43,716 --> 01:11:45,426 and tell me that this one is the right one? 1236 01:11:48,095 --> 01:11:50,348 Well, right or wrong, I just don't want to lose her. 1237 01:11:50,431 --> 01:11:52,808 Now, have the California office send a telegram in my name 1238 01:11:52,892 --> 01:11:54,202 saying I'll be delayed for a week. 1239 01:11:54,226 --> 01:11:55,644 That's all I'm asking. 1240 01:11:55,728 --> 01:11:57,313 Now, I'm warning you, Tom. 1241 01:11:57,396 --> 01:12:00,191 You've stretched our friendship just about as far as it'll go. 1242 01:12:00,274 --> 01:12:01,776 I'm running a business here. 1243 01:12:01,859 --> 01:12:03,779 Either get with it or get out. 1244 01:12:06,907 --> 01:12:08,992 All right, Harve. You win. 1245 01:12:09,242 --> 01:12:11,620 I know you have my best interests at heart, so, uh... 1246 01:12:11,703 --> 01:12:15,999 So I'll forget about the girl and just let her disappear out of my life. 1247 01:12:16,208 --> 01:12:18,710 And I'll, uh, drown myself in my work. 1248 01:12:19,586 --> 01:12:20,921 You're too agreeable. 1249 01:12:22,339 --> 01:12:25,300 Harvey, from now on, I promise, I am just a company man. 1250 01:12:25,384 --> 01:12:27,886 You're planning something sneaky to get even with me. 1251 01:12:27,969 --> 01:12:29,739 You're gonna call Leona and tell her about the paintings. 1252 01:12:29,763 --> 01:12:30,806 What's the matter with you? 1253 01:12:30,889 --> 01:12:32,533 You're gonna write her lawyers an anonymous letter 1254 01:12:32,557 --> 01:12:34,518 telling them about my securities and the boat. 1255 01:12:34,601 --> 01:12:36,496 You hurt me when you accuse me of things like that. 1256 01:12:36,520 --> 01:12:38,063 You're in love with that girl. 1257 01:12:38,146 --> 01:12:40,649 And a person in love is a person insane. 1258 01:12:40,732 --> 01:12:42,609 I'm not insane. Oh, no? 1259 01:12:42,692 --> 01:12:43,795 What other kind of mind would dream up 1260 01:12:43,819 --> 01:12:45,654 a double-crossing plot like this? 1261 01:12:53,829 --> 01:12:57,208 What are you so clouded up about? Lovers' quarrel? 1262 01:12:57,291 --> 01:12:59,794 We were never lovers, and we didn't quarrel. 1263 01:12:59,877 --> 01:13:01,671 What about the banjo? 1264 01:13:01,754 --> 01:13:04,382 I'll take it back to the pawn shop with me. 1265 01:13:04,465 --> 01:13:06,592 Give the ticket to Luther. He'll get the suits. 1266 01:13:06,676 --> 01:13:08,761 He'll also get a good hit in the head. 1267 01:13:08,886 --> 01:13:09,971 Why? 1268 01:13:10,054 --> 01:13:12,134 "Cause O'Shea'll think you're the father of my child." 1269 01:13:12,598 --> 01:13:15,184 I haven't been near enough to her to give her a cold. 1270 01:13:15,268 --> 01:13:18,855 You know, you were right about men not liking liars. 1271 01:13:20,022 --> 01:13:21,357 He said something. 1272 01:13:21,941 --> 01:13:23,234 How did he happen to mention it? 1273 01:13:23,317 --> 01:13:25,194 Came out somehow. 1274 01:13:26,279 --> 01:13:29,824 Maybe it's just as well it ends right now. 1275 01:13:38,374 --> 01:13:40,835 Thirty, 40, 50, 1276 01:13:40,918 --> 01:13:43,880 60, 70, 80, 90, 1277 01:13:43,963 --> 01:13:45,339 100. 1278 01:13:45,423 --> 01:13:46,592 What are the charges? 1279 01:13:46,675 --> 01:13:47,759 No. No charge. 1280 01:13:47,843 --> 01:13:49,011 Glad to be of help. 1281 01:13:49,094 --> 01:13:50,512 Well, thank you, Mr. O'Shea. 1282 01:13:50,596 --> 01:13:52,639 And if I might make a suggestion, 1283 01:13:52,723 --> 01:13:54,516 now that he's back, you run him down 1284 01:13:54,600 --> 01:13:56,685 to city hall and get a license. 1285 01:13:56,768 --> 01:13:59,438 Mr. O'Shea, there's something I must tell you. 1286 01:13:59,521 --> 01:14:02,274 Oh, tell me nothing. The child's got to have a name. 1287 01:14:03,358 --> 01:14:05,903 I am not going to have a child. 1288 01:14:07,362 --> 01:14:09,448 Well, don't tell him till after the wedding. 1289 01:14:09,531 --> 01:14:12,451 You get the certificate. It's a permanent credit card. 1290 01:14:12,534 --> 01:14:14,745 You listen to O'Shea. 1291 01:14:18,540 --> 01:14:19,601 This came right after you left. 1292 01:14:27,174 --> 01:14:31,887 "Attention, maid. Return delayed one week. Milford." 1293 01:14:41,940 --> 01:14:43,066 She loves the guy. 1294 01:14:43,149 --> 01:14:44,609 Love, schmove. 1295 01:14:44,692 --> 01:14:46,402 One more skin on the onion. 1296 01:15:23,773 --> 01:15:25,567 Hello? 1297 01:15:25,650 --> 01:15:27,193 Oh, hello, Tom. 1298 01:15:27,277 --> 01:15:29,738 Uh, no. I just stepped out for a minute. 1299 01:15:31,073 --> 01:15:35,369 Um, Tom, I was wondering if we should be seeing each other again. 1300 01:15:37,288 --> 01:15:39,748 Well, there are many reasons. 1301 01:15:40,541 --> 01:15:41,667 Oh, no, no. 1302 01:15:41,750 --> 01:15:44,712 You've been very nice and I've enjoyed being with you. 1303 01:15:46,046 --> 01:15:49,341 Oh, I do. I do. 1304 01:15:50,801 --> 01:15:53,679 Yeah. No. 1305 01:15:59,143 --> 01:16:00,728 Oh, Tom. 1306 01:16:02,146 --> 01:16:06,275 Oh, you mean he shuttled in and shuttled out again? 1307 01:16:06,358 --> 01:16:08,736 Must we go through all the details, Mr. O'Shea? 1308 01:16:08,819 --> 01:16:11,905 Well, you can't have him running in and out like the tides. 1309 01:16:11,989 --> 01:16:15,159 You'll wear yourself out carrying the suits. 1310 01:16:15,242 --> 01:16:17,036 Look, I'm in a hurry. Never mind the money. 1311 01:16:17,119 --> 01:16:18,871 Just hold the suits for me, huh? 1312 01:16:18,954 --> 01:16:20,706 Do you love the man? 1313 01:16:22,167 --> 01:16:24,669 Mr. O'Shea, there is no man. 1314 01:16:24,753 --> 01:16:26,421 I see. 1315 01:16:26,504 --> 01:16:28,340 You want to forget him. 1316 01:16:28,423 --> 01:16:31,259 Good riddance it is. So now I can tell you. 1317 01:16:31,343 --> 01:16:32,636 Goodbye, Mr. O'Shea. 1318 01:16:32,719 --> 01:16:33,762 There's another woman. 1319 01:16:38,767 --> 01:16:40,602 What'd you say? 1320 01:16:40,685 --> 01:16:43,688 I found this in one of the pockets the first time you came in. 1321 01:16:43,772 --> 01:16:47,567 I didn't want to upset you, so I slipped it to one side. 1322 01:16:48,777 --> 01:16:50,695 Why, that's Tom. 1323 01:16:53,573 --> 01:16:55,700 That's Tom! 1324 01:16:55,784 --> 01:16:57,285 That's Tom Milford! 1325 01:16:57,369 --> 01:16:59,454 Oh, no. Oh, no! 1326 01:17:00,288 --> 01:17:03,291 Oh, I just want to die. 1327 01:17:03,375 --> 01:17:05,710 Oh, I am so embarrassed. 1328 01:17:05,794 --> 01:17:08,755 I just want to die! 1329 01:17:08,963 --> 01:17:12,801 Well, why didn't the bum say something? Why did he string you along? 1330 01:17:12,926 --> 01:17:14,487 As far as I know, all that changed hands 1331 01:17:14,512 --> 01:17:16,972 was some quinine water and a roast duck. 1332 01:17:17,056 --> 01:17:19,266 Because he wanted me to look like 1333 01:17:19,350 --> 01:17:21,435 the biggest idiot that ever came out of the west. 1334 01:17:21,519 --> 01:17:24,605 Or the north, south and east. And Canada. 1335 01:17:24,689 --> 01:17:26,273 Well... 1336 01:17:26,357 --> 01:17:27,608 It's that time again. 1337 01:17:27,692 --> 01:17:29,694 If he had one shred of decency, 1338 01:17:29,777 --> 01:17:31,445 he would have never led me on. 1339 01:17:31,529 --> 01:17:33,280 Any gentleman would have spoken up 1340 01:17:33,364 --> 01:17:35,741 the minute I brought him back to his apartment. 1341 01:17:35,825 --> 01:17:39,412 Only a lying, sneaky, deceitful snake would do that to a girl. 1342 01:17:39,537 --> 01:17:40,538 Yeah, how about that? 1343 01:17:40,621 --> 01:17:43,624 When all you did was steal his apartment and hock all his clothes. 1344 01:17:43,708 --> 01:17:45,042 Why didn't he stop me? 1345 01:17:45,126 --> 01:17:46,585 Why did you start it? 1346 01:17:46,669 --> 01:17:47,920 Don't change the subject. 1347 01:17:48,003 --> 01:17:50,589 Give me a hand with these slipcovers, will ya? 1348 01:17:50,673 --> 01:17:52,925 He is not gonna get away with it. Do you understand me? 1349 01:17:53,008 --> 01:17:54,552 He is not gonna get away with it! 1350 01:17:54,635 --> 01:17:56,721 Joanie, sit down, hmm? 1351 01:17:58,264 --> 01:18:01,642 Do you know that you could get six months for this? 1352 01:18:01,726 --> 01:18:03,602 Jail. Pokey-pie. 1353 01:18:03,686 --> 01:18:06,565 You should be grateful that he didn't blow a whistle. 1354 01:18:06,648 --> 01:18:08,442 Oh, he wouldn't dare. 1355 01:18:08,525 --> 01:18:09,651 He wouldn't dare, 1356 01:18:09,735 --> 01:18:12,863 because I can prove that he led me on for immoral purposes. 1357 01:18:13,822 --> 01:18:16,658 Now, Joanie, you didn't tell me about that. 1358 01:18:16,742 --> 01:18:18,243 When did it happen? 1359 01:18:18,326 --> 01:18:20,746 It didn't. But he was getting around to it. 1360 01:18:20,871 --> 01:18:22,330 Are you gonna help me or not? 1361 01:18:22,414 --> 01:18:24,082 I am not leaving this apartment. 1362 01:18:24,166 --> 01:18:27,294 He humiliated me, and he is not gonna get away with it. 1363 01:18:27,377 --> 01:18:28,879 Don't forget, I'm from Iowa. 1364 01:18:28,962 --> 01:18:30,762 What has that got to do with it? I don't know. 1365 01:18:30,797 --> 01:18:34,301 But he is gonna rue the day that he ever toyed with Joan Milford. 1366 01:18:34,384 --> 01:18:36,094 Your name is Howell. Remember? 1367 01:18:36,178 --> 01:18:37,471 How you gonna get him to rue? 1368 01:18:37,554 --> 01:18:38,555 I'll think of something. 1369 01:18:38,638 --> 01:18:40,658 Oh, then you're gonna keep your date with him tonight. 1370 01:18:40,682 --> 01:18:42,601 Oh! I can't wait. 1371 01:18:42,684 --> 01:18:47,481 He may just give me the clue on the best way to rue. 1372 01:18:52,486 --> 01:18:53,945 Oh, it hardly seems possible 1373 01:18:54,029 --> 01:18:56,699 that we've known each other less than two weeks. 1374 01:18:56,783 --> 01:18:59,160 I feel like I've known you forever. 1375 01:18:59,243 --> 01:19:02,747 And yet, you know, we really know very little about one another. 1376 01:19:02,830 --> 01:19:05,333 Well, what more do you have to know? 1377 01:19:05,416 --> 01:19:08,544 Oh, things like your ideas and such. 1378 01:19:08,628 --> 01:19:10,588 At 2:30 in the morning? 1379 01:19:10,671 --> 01:19:13,382 That's a heck of a time to exchange ideas. 1380 01:19:13,466 --> 01:19:14,801 Well, you know, you once told me 1381 01:19:14,884 --> 01:19:18,596 that the most important quality in a woman was honesty. 1382 01:19:18,679 --> 01:19:21,015 What do you think the most important quality in a man is? 1383 01:19:21,098 --> 01:19:23,059 Same thing. Honesty. 1384 01:19:23,142 --> 01:19:24,477 Honesty in anybody. 1385 01:19:24,560 --> 01:19:28,147 And do your friends consider you an honest man? 1386 01:19:28,231 --> 01:19:29,524 I like to think so. 1387 01:19:30,608 --> 01:19:32,819 You must have such exciting friends. 1388 01:19:32,902 --> 01:19:34,445 Especially among the women. 1389 01:19:34,529 --> 01:19:36,739 No, I... I'm actually a lonely man. 1390 01:19:38,533 --> 01:19:40,409 You see, my real love is my work. 1391 01:19:40,493 --> 01:19:43,120 Now, splashes of colors or beautiful fabrics 1392 01:19:43,204 --> 01:19:44,747 or a well-turned piece of wood, 1393 01:19:44,831 --> 01:19:47,458 now those are the things that can thrill me. 1394 01:19:47,708 --> 01:19:49,920 I'm, uh, really quite an artist. 1395 01:19:51,713 --> 01:19:54,258 Yes, you certainly are quite an artist. 1396 01:19:54,341 --> 01:19:58,262 But, you know, you should have more friends. 1397 01:19:58,345 --> 01:20:00,055 I have you. What more do I need? 1398 01:20:00,138 --> 01:20:02,766 What do you say I have a party for you? 1399 01:20:02,850 --> 01:20:05,227 But we have each other. That's plenty, isn't it? 1400 01:20:05,310 --> 01:20:07,729 Oh, but, Tom, I'm not really very exciting, 1401 01:20:07,813 --> 01:20:10,691 and I can introduce you to a lot of interesting people. 1402 01:20:10,774 --> 01:20:13,652 Mmm. I... I'm very uncomfortable around people. 1403 01:20:13,735 --> 01:20:16,446 Well, Tom, my mind's made up. 1404 01:20:16,530 --> 01:20:18,866 I'm going to invite a few friends over Friday night. 1405 01:20:18,949 --> 01:20:20,826 And we can have a few drinks and dance 1406 01:20:20,909 --> 01:20:22,703 and I'll get some sandwiches in. 1407 01:20:22,786 --> 01:20:25,622 Why, I bet you the change would do you good. 1408 01:20:25,706 --> 01:20:27,583 Well, if it'll please you, then I'm for it. 1409 01:20:27,666 --> 01:20:28,667 Yes. 1410 01:20:30,752 --> 01:20:33,338 It's getting late now, Tom. You'd better go. 1411 01:20:33,422 --> 01:20:34,965 Okay. 1412 01:20:39,303 --> 01:20:41,306 Night. Night. 1413 01:20:54,861 --> 01:20:57,030 Hello. Is Agnes there? 1414 01:20:58,156 --> 01:21:01,451 Oh, hello, Agnes. This is Mr. Milford's secretary. 1415 01:21:01,534 --> 01:21:04,621 We're having a little party Friday night at Mr. Milford's place. 1416 01:21:04,704 --> 01:21:06,706 A "Streets of Paris" party. 1417 01:21:06,789 --> 01:21:09,042 And all the girls are coming dressed 1418 01:21:09,125 --> 01:21:11,336 as their favorite women of the boulevards. 1419 01:21:14,672 --> 01:21:18,426 Oh, fine. And, Agnes, uh, please, it's a surprise party. 1420 01:21:18,509 --> 01:21:20,720 So don't call Tom back. 1421 01:21:20,803 --> 01:21:23,056 Al righty. 1422 01:21:23,139 --> 01:21:24,849 Goodbye, Agnes. 1423 01:21:24,933 --> 01:21:28,019 Uh, what are you trying to do, Joan? 1424 01:21:28,102 --> 01:21:30,563 This is national rue week. Remember? 1425 01:21:30,647 --> 01:21:32,650 Yeah, but what point are you trying to make? 1426 01:21:33,192 --> 01:21:36,362 This is a man who demands honesty in his women. 1427 01:21:36,445 --> 01:21:39,907 Well, I just want to show him that it's a pretty good virtue in men, too. 1428 01:21:40,407 --> 01:21:43,285 Huh! "I'm so alone, Joan." 1429 01:21:43,369 --> 01:21:46,705 "I'm so uncomfortable around women." 1430 01:21:46,789 --> 01:21:49,083 I don't know. You're going to an awful lot of trouble 1431 01:21:49,166 --> 01:21:50,709 for a guy you're supposed to hate. 1432 01:21:55,172 --> 01:21:56,340 You want a lift home? 1433 01:21:56,423 --> 01:21:59,510 No, Harve, thank you. I'm gonna hang around and do a little thinking. 1434 01:21:59,593 --> 01:22:00,633 Good afternoon, gentlemen. 1435 01:22:00,678 --> 01:22:02,554 Good afternoon, Bert. Have a nice weekend. 1436 01:22:02,638 --> 01:22:04,139 Bye. 1437 01:22:04,223 --> 01:22:06,100 What do you wanna think about? 1438 01:22:06,183 --> 01:22:07,643 Joan. 1439 01:22:07,726 --> 01:22:09,645 Suddenly, she's very important to me. 1440 01:22:09,728 --> 01:22:11,522 I'm awfully fond of that girl. 1441 01:22:11,605 --> 01:22:14,483 I don't dig it. You know she's been one long lie. 1442 01:22:14,608 --> 01:22:17,778 No. Her only crime has been trying to impress me. 1443 01:22:18,862 --> 01:22:20,280 No matter how you rationalize, 1444 01:22:20,364 --> 01:22:22,324 she's trespassing on someone else's property. 1445 01:22:22,408 --> 01:22:23,868 That's morally and legally wrong. 1446 01:22:25,620 --> 01:22:28,123 Well, what about a man who conceals assets 1447 01:22:28,206 --> 01:22:30,959 that, morally and legally, are not completely his, 1448 01:22:31,042 --> 01:22:33,670 such as a nice collection of oil paintings? 1449 01:22:33,753 --> 01:22:35,005 Well, uh... 1450 01:22:35,672 --> 01:22:38,091 She's throwing a little party for me tonight. 1451 01:22:39,342 --> 01:22:42,303 I told her I didn't have many friends, that I was kind of a hermit. 1452 01:22:42,429 --> 01:22:44,472 Oh, that must have been a very touching scene. 1453 01:22:45,015 --> 01:22:47,350 Harvey, I feel like a heel. 1454 01:22:48,143 --> 01:22:50,186 For two weeks now I've been spiking her drinks, 1455 01:22:50,311 --> 01:22:53,815 playing on her sympathies, lurking around just waiting to take advantage. 1456 01:22:55,483 --> 01:22:57,128 Would you want somebody to do that to your sister? 1457 01:22:57,152 --> 01:23:00,113 I sure would. My sister's single and pushing 40. 1458 01:23:00,613 --> 01:23:02,532 I'm gonna go to the party and grab her aside, 1459 01:23:02,615 --> 01:23:04,510 tell her who I am and forgive her for what she's done. 1460 01:23:04,534 --> 01:23:07,746 I don't care what you do. Just come back with my paintings. 1461 01:23:09,247 --> 01:23:11,041 Hey, Harve, why don't you come along with me 1462 01:23:11,124 --> 01:23:13,460 and pick up the paintings yourself? 1463 01:23:13,543 --> 01:23:16,440 I mean, after all, you've been involved in this whole thing from the beginning. 1464 01:23:16,464 --> 01:23:18,132 Could be a lot of laughs. 1465 01:23:18,215 --> 01:23:19,717 Could just be a lot of laughs. 1466 01:24:14,147 --> 01:24:15,774 Must be old home week. 1467 01:24:38,505 --> 01:24:41,633 I don't get it. What kind of a party is this without men? 1468 01:24:41,716 --> 01:24:43,385 Be patient. You know Tom. 1469 01:24:43,468 --> 01:24:45,220 He's always full of surprises. 1470 01:24:45,303 --> 01:24:46,930 He never surprised me. 1471 01:24:48,181 --> 01:24:50,142 Look at the one at the table, 1472 01:24:50,225 --> 01:24:52,727 the one stuffing her face with the tuna fish sandwiches. 1473 01:24:57,774 --> 01:25:00,069 That's gotta be Ginny Frazell. 1474 01:25:00,153 --> 01:25:02,405 Slow starter, but great in the stretch. 1475 01:25:03,573 --> 01:25:05,533 That's right, Chief. Dozens of 'em. 1476 01:25:06,159 --> 01:25:07,618 I can't figure it either, 1477 01:25:07,702 --> 01:25:10,580 unless the seventh fleet's steaming down Madison Avenue. 1478 01:25:19,213 --> 01:25:21,591 What are you gonna do when your man finally shows up? 1479 01:25:21,674 --> 01:25:24,594 I don't have to do anything. I just want him to see me. 1480 01:25:24,677 --> 01:25:26,053 He'll get the message. 1481 01:25:26,137 --> 01:25:28,681 Chief, I counted 50. 1482 01:25:28,764 --> 01:25:31,475 Must be a national convention. 1483 01:25:31,559 --> 01:25:33,561 Just a second. 1484 01:25:33,644 --> 01:25:35,813 Two male individuals just arrived. 1485 01:25:36,772 --> 01:25:38,274 I can't see their faces. 1486 01:25:42,236 --> 01:25:44,697 But they ain't here to read the gas meters. 1487 01:25:44,780 --> 01:25:46,616 Yeah. Yeah. 1488 01:25:46,699 --> 01:25:48,951 Better charter a bus. 1489 01:25:49,285 --> 01:25:51,538 Looks like they're all here. 1490 01:25:51,622 --> 01:25:55,042 I wish he'd hurry. I'm getting worried. 1491 01:25:55,125 --> 01:25:57,002 What are you worried about? 1492 01:25:57,085 --> 01:25:58,462 I don't know. 1493 01:25:58,587 --> 01:26:03,133 But with all this talent and no place to put it, something's gotta give. 1494 01:26:03,217 --> 01:26:04,509 That's funny. 1495 01:26:04,593 --> 01:26:07,387 I could have sworn she said just a few friends. 1496 01:26:07,471 --> 01:26:09,431 Sounds like a few dozen to me. 1497 01:26:09,514 --> 01:26:11,075 That's what I mean about this girl, Harve. 1498 01:26:11,099 --> 01:26:13,060 She's so concerned for my welfare. 1499 01:26:13,185 --> 01:26:15,896 Imagine going to all this trouble and expense. 1500 01:26:16,021 --> 01:26:18,232 I just hope there's some way I can repay her. 1501 01:26:18,315 --> 01:26:19,900 Well... 1502 01:26:22,861 --> 01:26:25,155 Hi! 1503 01:26:27,324 --> 01:26:30,410 Hey, where are the other fellas? There's only two of you! 1504 01:26:31,411 --> 01:26:33,747 Hi! Come on in! 1505 01:26:35,457 --> 01:26:37,937 Oh, I'll grab the paintings, and I'll meet you down in the car. 1506 01:26:49,013 --> 01:26:50,431 What is this? 1507 01:26:50,515 --> 01:26:52,558 Welcome to your party, Mr. Milford. 1508 01:26:53,768 --> 01:26:57,188 I just thought you might enjoy being surrounded by the, uh... 1509 01:26:57,272 --> 01:26:59,565 Things you love best. 1510 01:26:59,649 --> 01:27:02,443 Joan, I swear I was on my way to clear up this whole mess. 1511 01:27:02,527 --> 01:27:04,028 You're a little bit late. 1512 01:27:04,112 --> 01:27:06,114 Well, what's a guy supposed to do? 1513 01:27:06,197 --> 01:27:08,408 A girl takes me to my own apartment, tells me it's hers. 1514 01:27:08,491 --> 01:27:10,410 I couldn't get over the shock for a week! 1515 01:27:10,493 --> 01:27:13,496 That still leaves one week unaccounted for! 1516 01:27:13,579 --> 01:27:16,541 You deliberately led me on to humiliate me, and you have. 1517 01:27:16,624 --> 01:27:18,459 Goodbye. Now listen. 1518 01:27:18,543 --> 01:27:20,461 Step aside, please. 1519 01:27:21,879 --> 01:27:23,548 Could we be alone, please? 1520 01:27:23,631 --> 01:27:26,175 Oh, sure. What did you have in mind? 1521 01:27:26,968 --> 01:27:28,803 I meant Joan. 1522 01:27:28,886 --> 01:27:30,263 You stay right here, Audrey. 1523 01:27:31,639 --> 01:27:35,811 As far as being offended, I have as much right to be offended as you do. 1524 01:27:35,894 --> 01:27:39,481 I knew what I was doing was wrong, but my motives were good. 1525 01:27:39,565 --> 01:27:42,443 I met a man I liked and I wanted to impress him. 1526 01:27:42,526 --> 01:27:44,611 But you lied to me for your own evil purposes. 1527 01:27:45,821 --> 01:27:47,364 If I say I love you... 1528 01:27:50,075 --> 01:27:53,203 I suggest you scratch this horse, Mr. Milford. 1529 01:27:53,287 --> 01:27:55,080 It's shy, nervous 1530 01:27:55,164 --> 01:27:57,374 and refuses to enter the starting gate. 1531 01:27:57,458 --> 01:27:59,168 Now, you're talking about lies. 1532 01:27:59,251 --> 01:28:01,462 How about your lies to me? 1533 01:28:01,545 --> 01:28:04,256 Didn't you tell me you were a very good cook? Huh? 1534 01:28:04,340 --> 01:28:06,318 Well, you know darn well you didn't cook that duck dinner. 1535 01:28:06,342 --> 01:28:07,509 I tried! 1536 01:28:07,593 --> 01:28:09,904 You take a duck, you put it in the oven, you turn the oven on... 1537 01:28:09,928 --> 01:28:11,847 Can you hear what he's sayin'? 1538 01:28:11,930 --> 01:28:15,142 He sounds disappointed because she didn't make him a duck dinner. 1539 01:28:15,225 --> 01:28:16,465 The whole thing burned up. 1540 01:28:16,518 --> 01:28:18,580 Drop a cigarette in it? I've got ashtrays in my apartment. 1541 01:28:18,604 --> 01:28:21,440 What about the other one that's playing cards on the bed? 1542 01:28:21,523 --> 01:28:22,649 You didn't cook it! 1543 01:28:22,816 --> 01:28:23,984 I didn't cook it! 1544 01:28:24,068 --> 01:28:25,778 I'm still workin' on the duck dinner. 1545 01:28:25,861 --> 01:28:28,132 You got a duck that tasted that good from a delicatessen? 1546 01:28:28,156 --> 01:28:29,383 I have to leave! 1547 01:28:29,407 --> 01:28:30,658 Where are you taking them? 1548 01:28:32,285 --> 01:28:34,537 You can't... Oh, you can't leave, Harve! 1549 01:28:34,621 --> 01:28:35,830 But I've got an appointment. 1550 01:28:35,914 --> 01:28:37,040 You don't have to leave us! 1551 01:28:37,123 --> 01:28:39,084 Yes, I... You don't have to. 1552 01:28:39,167 --> 01:28:40,335 Yes, I have to go. 1553 01:28:40,418 --> 01:28:41,503 Where you going? 1554 01:28:49,010 --> 01:28:51,012 Uh, where you going, sir? Home. 1555 01:28:51,096 --> 01:28:53,348 We have just one stop to make first. Into the wagon. 1556 01:28:53,431 --> 01:28:54,808 What? In the wagon. 1557 01:28:54,891 --> 01:28:56,810 But I don't know anything about those people. 1558 01:28:56,893 --> 01:28:58,496 Now, you see, I'm a responsible businessman. 1559 01:28:58,520 --> 01:28:59,747 I just came up here for my paintings. 1560 01:28:59,771 --> 01:29:01,481 Into the wagon. 1561 01:29:01,564 --> 01:29:04,442 Now please, Sarge. I've never seen those people before in my life. 1562 01:29:04,526 --> 01:29:07,737 You see, my wife, Leona, she's asking an awful lot of money. 1563 01:29:07,821 --> 01:29:10,582 And, uh... Well, anyway, I was keeping my paintings up at Tom's place, 1564 01:29:10,615 --> 01:29:12,855 and I was staying at my place, in my beautiful apartment. 1565 01:29:12,909 --> 01:29:15,453 Then he asked me to check into the Plaza Hotel, which I did. 1566 01:29:15,537 --> 01:29:18,541 I was gonna call you fellas, but this girl kept ordering martinis. 1567 01:29:18,624 --> 01:29:20,584 And then when my zipper got stuck, you see... 1568 01:29:20,668 --> 01:29:21,961 In the wagon! 1569 01:29:22,044 --> 01:29:24,213 Oh, all right. I'll get in the... 1570 01:29:24,296 --> 01:29:26,173 Just push a little bit. Thank you. 1571 01:29:26,257 --> 01:29:28,217 Stop! Will you... Come on outta here. 1572 01:29:28,300 --> 01:29:30,553 I'll have you broken for this, you goon! 1573 01:29:30,636 --> 01:29:33,514 But I told you, I'm a secretary at the UN. 1574 01:29:33,597 --> 01:29:36,892 Wait till my old man gets a hold of that Milford. 1575 01:29:38,853 --> 01:29:40,646 Why don't you believe me? 1576 01:29:40,729 --> 01:29:43,732 Officer, you don't understand. It was all a joke. 1577 01:29:43,816 --> 01:29:46,068 I mean, it was my idea. 1578 01:29:46,152 --> 01:29:48,070 Look, I don't even know these girls. 1579 01:29:48,154 --> 01:29:50,364 Sure, girlie. Nobody knows nobody around here. 1580 01:29:50,448 --> 01:29:53,260 You all just happened to be standing up there waiting for a trolley car. 1581 01:29:53,284 --> 01:29:54,618 In the van! 1582 01:29:55,995 --> 01:29:58,038 Officer, look, I can explain this whole thing. 1583 01:29:58,122 --> 01:29:59,599 You see, I know all these people. I live here. 1584 01:29:59,623 --> 01:30:01,167 They're all friends of mine. Uh-huh. 1585 01:30:01,250 --> 01:30:03,586 Look, I never even got a traffic ticket in my whole life. 1586 01:30:03,669 --> 01:30:05,212 Uh-huh. Maybe somebody can help me. 1587 01:30:05,296 --> 01:30:06,797 Officer, let me explain it to you. 1588 01:30:06,964 --> 01:30:08,524 The whole thing is just a gag. It was... 1589 01:30:08,591 --> 01:30:12,262 You again. You know, I didn't recognize you with your pants on. 1590 01:30:13,722 --> 01:30:15,932 Yes, sir. I'll go quietly. 1591 01:30:30,697 --> 01:30:33,617 Lovely evening to get arrested, isn't it? 1592 01:30:35,368 --> 01:30:38,371 You know, if you like the apartment, 1593 01:30:38,455 --> 01:30:41,541 I have no objections to you using it on a more permanent basis. 1594 01:30:43,001 --> 01:30:45,003 That is, uh, 1595 01:30:45,086 --> 01:30:47,631 if you'd like to use the Milford name 1596 01:30:47,714 --> 01:30:49,299 on a more permanent basis. 1597 01:30:50,383 --> 01:30:52,636 Pay attention. That's a proposal. 1598 01:30:54,137 --> 01:30:57,140 Oh, and you don't have to worry about tossing away those paintings, 1599 01:30:57,224 --> 01:30:58,558 because they belong to Harve. 1600 01:31:01,854 --> 01:31:05,274 Are these magnificent paintings really yours? 1601 01:31:05,358 --> 01:31:07,568 Well, yes. I... I think so. I... 1602 01:31:07,652 --> 01:31:11,030 Oh, well, I was only saying the other day 1603 01:31:11,113 --> 01:31:13,324 that whoever owns these paintings 1604 01:31:13,407 --> 01:31:17,036 must be a man of great taste and refinement. 1605 01:31:17,119 --> 01:31:18,829 Oh, really? 1606 01:31:18,913 --> 01:31:20,831 Well 1607 01:31:22,500 --> 01:31:24,210 So I'm passing the police station 1608 01:31:24,293 --> 01:31:27,213 and these two vans pull up and unload 1609 01:31:27,296 --> 01:31:30,049 the biggest bunch of night fliers you've ever seen. 1610 01:31:30,132 --> 01:31:33,010 And who do you think is right smack in the middle of them? 1611 01:31:33,094 --> 01:31:35,513 Your friend, Little Miss Muffet. 1612 01:31:35,596 --> 01:31:37,932 How about that? How about that? 1613 01:31:38,015 --> 01:31:39,934 Oh, it's like I always said. 1614 01:31:40,017 --> 01:31:41,936 The city is a jungle. 1615 01:31:42,019 --> 01:31:44,105 Crawling with vice, it is. 1616 01:31:44,188 --> 01:31:46,357 Why, only this week, mind you, 1617 01:31:46,440 --> 01:31:50,027 a mere wisp of a child with the bloom of innocence still on her cheeks 1618 01:31:50,111 --> 01:31:51,279 comes into the place. 1619 01:31:51,362 --> 01:31:52,697 And would you believe it? 1620 01:31:52,780 --> 01:31:54,533 Some dirty dog of a scoundrel, 1621 01:31:54,616 --> 01:31:57,411 some mean, low-down, cheap, conniving, 1622 01:31:57,578 --> 01:32:00,122 two-faced, lecherous snake in the grass... 1623 01:32:00,205 --> 01:32:01,498 Why... 1624 01:32:06,295 --> 01:32:07,754 I'll take care of 'em. 1625 01:32:07,838 --> 01:32:09,631 You listened last time. It's my turn. 1626 01:32:09,715 --> 01:32:11,300 You always wanna keep the good ones. 1627 01:32:11,383 --> 01:32:14,678 Okay, okay. We'll both take care of 'em. 1628 01:32:24,479 --> 01:32:26,565 You and your English tailoring. 1629 01:32:28,442 --> 01:32:29,818 Tom! 1630 01:32:31,069 --> 01:32:32,779 Honey? 1631 01:32:32,863 --> 01:32:34,906 Are you all right? 1632 01:32:35,949 --> 01:32:37,618 Well, Tom... 1633 01:32:43,123 --> 01:32:44,708 You know somethin', Charlie? 1634 01:32:44,791 --> 01:32:48,046 When you got her around, you don't need television. 1635 01:32:49,305 --> 01:33:49,505 Do you want subtitles for any video? -=[ ai.OpenSubtitles.com ]=-