"The Big Bang Theory" The Flaming Spittoon Acquisition

1 00:00:04,202 --> 00:00:05,878 It's amazing people keep coming 2 00:00:05,879 --> 00:00:07,278 to comic book stores 3 00:00:07,280 --> 00:00:10,413 instead of just downloading comics digitally. 4 00:00:10,415 --> 00:00:11,913 It's probably for the best. 5 00:00:11,915 --> 00:00:13,980 For a lot of these guys, the weekly trip here 6 00:00:13,982 --> 00:00:16,080 is the only chance their mom has to go down 7 00:00:16,082 --> 00:00:18,047 to the basement and change their sheets. 8 00:00:19,148 --> 00:00:22,847 Oh, that reminds me, I get fresh sheets tonight. Yay. 9 00:00:24,949 --> 00:00:26,515 Well? 10 00:00:26,517 --> 00:00:28,415 What do you think of New Comic Book Night? 11 00:00:28,417 --> 00:00:30,916 Magic, huh? 12 00:00:30,918 --> 00:00:32,817 Sheldon, I'm disappointed. 13 00:00:32,819 --> 00:00:34,018 As a brilliant man, 14 00:00:34,020 --> 00:00:35,152 you're entitled to a vice. 15 00:00:35,154 --> 00:00:36,820 I could understand frequenting an opium den 16 00:00:36,822 --> 00:00:39,156 or hunting your fellow man for sport. 17 00:00:40,258 --> 00:00:43,725 But this? Lame-o. 18 00:00:44,627 --> 00:00:46,860 Well, A) Comic books employ storytelling 19 00:00:46,862 --> 00:00:48,128 through sequential art, 20 00:00:48,130 --> 00:00:50,263 an medium that dates back 17,000 years 21 00:00:50,265 --> 00:00:52,231 to the cave paintings of Lascaux, 22 00:00:52,233 --> 00:00:54,533 and B) You play the harp. 23 00:00:54,535 --> 00:00:56,067 Like that's cool. 24 00:00:59,237 --> 00:01:01,604 Can I help you find anything? 25 00:01:01,606 --> 00:01:03,705 A comic that depicts a woman whose bosom 26 00:01:03,707 --> 00:01:05,907 can't be used as a flotation device. 27 00:01:06,709 --> 00:01:08,209 Sorry. Most of the guys 28 00:01:08,211 --> 00:01:10,411 who come in here like big boobs. 29 00:01:10,413 --> 00:01:12,679 Couple of them have big boobs. 30 00:01:14,015 --> 00:01:15,215 Hey, look, the new 31 00:01:15,217 --> 00:01:17,316 Warlords of Ka'a expansion pack is out. 32 00:01:17,318 --> 00:01:19,484 A new one? Unbelievable. 33 00:01:19,486 --> 00:01:21,786 They just keep making up more cheesy monsters, 34 00:01:21,788 --> 00:01:25,189 slapping them on cards and selling them at 25 bucks a pop. 35 00:01:25,191 --> 00:01:28,924 It's like a secret tax on guys who can't get laid. 36 00:01:29,825 --> 00:01:30,992 They're not even trying. 37 00:01:30,994 --> 00:01:33,194 Remember the Satanimals pack with the Hellephant? 38 00:01:33,196 --> 00:01:34,528 Why, absurd. 39 00:01:34,530 --> 00:01:36,963 What was he, a bad elephant who died and went to hell? 40 00:01:36,965 --> 00:01:38,397 What could an elephant 41 00:01:38,399 --> 00:01:41,732 possibly do that would cause him eternal damnation? 42 00:01:41,734 --> 00:01:43,433 "Wild West and Witches"? 43 00:01:43,435 --> 00:01:46,535 What kind of loser cares about a showdown 44 00:01:46,537 --> 00:01:50,471 between Billy the Kid and the White Wizard of the North? 45 00:01:50,473 --> 00:01:51,973 A total loser. 46 00:01:51,975 --> 00:01:54,008 Obviously, a guy with a six-shooter 47 00:01:54,010 --> 00:01:56,043 beats an old man with a magic wand. 48 00:01:57,579 --> 00:01:59,312 Well, h-hold on. 49 00:02:00,381 --> 00:02:02,182 Uh, what if the wizard casts 50 00:02:02,184 --> 00:02:05,451 a Helmet of Confusion spell on Billy the Kid's cowboy hat? 51 00:02:05,453 --> 00:02:06,852 What? Please! 52 00:02:06,854 --> 00:02:08,520 This is Billy the Kid we're talking about. 53 00:02:08,522 --> 00:02:10,554 I mean, the wizard would get shot between the eyes 54 00:02:10,556 --> 00:02:12,155 before he could ever get out the words, 55 00:02:12,157 --> 00:02:13,857 "What the hell is Billy the Kid doing 56 00:02:13,859 --> 00:02:16,225 in the mystic realm of Ka'a?" 57 00:02:16,227 --> 00:02:18,027 Leonard... 58 00:02:18,029 --> 00:02:21,096 What's the deal with Sheldon's friend Amy? 59 00:02:21,098 --> 00:02:22,263 Are they a couple? 60 00:02:22,265 --> 00:02:24,598 Couple of weirdos. Why? 61 00:02:24,600 --> 00:02:26,433 You interested in Amy? 62 00:02:26,435 --> 00:02:29,134 Well, I mean, she didn't look through me 63 00:02:29,136 --> 00:02:30,969 with soul-sucking, ball-shriveling 64 00:02:30,971 --> 00:02:33,571 hatred and contempt. 65 00:02:33,573 --> 00:02:35,607 I like that in a woman. 66 00:02:36,675 --> 00:02:38,943 Could you run it by Sheldon if I could ask her out? 67 00:02:38,945 --> 00:02:40,378 Sure. I guess. 68 00:02:40,380 --> 00:02:42,079 Stuart, settle an argument for us. 69 00:02:42,081 --> 00:02:43,579 Who would win, 70 00:02:43,581 --> 00:02:45,915 Billy the Kid or the White Wizard? 71 00:02:45,917 --> 00:02:47,883 If I tell you that, 72 00:02:47,885 --> 00:02:51,119 I'm robbing you of the hours of fun you could have 73 00:02:51,121 --> 00:02:56,591 for the magical, rootin'-tootin' low price of $24.95. 74 00:02:57,426 --> 00:02:58,926 I'll take one. 75 00:02:58,928 --> 00:03:00,361 Mm... make it two. 76 00:03:00,363 --> 00:03:03,264 I hate all of you and myself. Three. 77 00:03:04,299 --> 00:03:06,266 I'll ring it up. 78 00:03:06,268 --> 00:03:09,036 Like shooting nerds in a barrel. 79 00:03:10,105 --> 00:03:13,707 ♪ Our whole universe was in a hot, dense state ♪ 80 00:03:13,709 --> 00:03:17,044 ♪ Then nearly 14 billion years ago expansion started... Wait! ♪ 81 00:03:17,046 --> 00:03:18,678 ♪ The Earth began to cool ♪ 82 00:03:18,680 --> 00:03:21,214 ♪ The autotrophs began to drool, Neanderthals developed tools ♪ 83 00:03:21,216 --> 00:03:23,883 ♪ We built the Wall ♪ ♪ <i>We built the pyramids</i> ♪ 84 00:03:23,885 --> 00:03:26,552 ♪ Math, Science, History, unraveling the mystery ♪ 85 00:03:26,554 --> 00:03:28,454 ♪ That all started with a big bang ♪ 86 00:03:28,456 --> 00:03:30,423 ♪ <i>Bang!</i> ♪ 87 00:03:35,284 --> 00:03:36,972 Hey, can I talk to you about something? 88 00:03:36,973 --> 00:03:39,607 It's a little awkward. 89 00:03:39,609 --> 00:03:41,743 I know what this is about. 90 00:03:41,745 --> 00:03:44,313 Given the professional standstill you're at, 91 00:03:44,315 --> 00:03:47,115 you're wondering if this is the appropriate time 92 00:03:47,117 --> 00:03:50,452 to abandon your research and focus on teaching. 93 00:03:53,156 --> 00:03:55,424 Yes. 94 00:03:57,261 --> 00:03:59,029 And if I may suggest, 95 00:03:59,031 --> 00:04:00,597 consider changing disciplines. 96 00:04:00,599 --> 00:04:02,833 Yeah, to the humanities-- perhaps history. 97 00:04:02,835 --> 00:04:05,269 One of the advantages of teaching history 98 00:04:05,271 --> 00:04:08,039 is that you don't have to create things. 99 00:04:08,041 --> 00:04:10,141 You know, you just have to remember 100 00:04:10,143 --> 00:04:12,977 stuff that happened and then parrot it back. 101 00:04:12,979 --> 00:04:15,614 You could have fun with that. 102 00:04:16,449 --> 00:04:18,216 Yeah, that's not it. 103 00:04:18,218 --> 00:04:20,685 Stuart's kind of interested in Amy. 104 00:04:20,687 --> 00:04:23,087 Oh, of course he is. She's very interesting. 105 00:04:23,089 --> 00:04:25,190 Did you know, when she was 14, 106 00:04:25,192 --> 00:04:28,159 she severed the webbing between her own toes? 107 00:04:29,562 --> 00:04:32,063 No. 108 00:04:32,065 --> 00:04:34,031 He wanted me to find out 109 00:04:34,033 --> 00:04:37,368 if you'd have a problem with him asking her out. 110 00:04:38,971 --> 00:04:42,139 I'm not sure how to respond, Leonard. 111 00:04:42,141 --> 00:04:44,375 I don't own Amy. 112 00:04:44,377 --> 00:04:47,011 Can't own a person. 113 00:04:47,013 --> 00:04:49,880 At least not since... 114 00:04:53,819 --> 00:04:56,188 1863. 115 00:04:57,724 --> 00:05:00,392 President Lincoln freed the... 116 00:05:01,561 --> 00:05:04,196 Slaves! Come on, Leonard, 117 00:05:04,198 --> 00:05:05,530 if you're going to teach history, 118 00:05:05,532 --> 00:05:07,966 these are the kind of facts you'll have to know. 119 00:05:07,968 --> 00:05:09,601 You know what? Never mind. 120 00:05:09,603 --> 00:05:12,137 I'm going to tell him it's okay to ask her out. 121 00:05:12,139 --> 00:05:13,438 The question is moot. 122 00:05:13,440 --> 00:05:15,273 There is no way that Stuart, 123 00:05:15,275 --> 00:05:17,409 an impoverished peddler of picture books, 124 00:05:17,411 --> 00:05:20,145 would be at all appealing to Amy Farrah Fowler, 125 00:05:20,147 --> 00:05:22,213 a noted neurobiologist 126 00:05:22,215 --> 00:05:24,982 capable of performing surgery on her own feet 127 00:05:24,984 --> 00:05:26,651 with nothing but nitrous oxide 128 00:05:26,653 --> 00:05:29,487 from cans of whipped cream as anesthesia. 129 00:05:30,355 --> 00:05:32,490 All right, but for the record, 130 00:05:32,492 --> 00:05:35,326 I checked in with you to see how you'd feel about it. 131 00:05:35,328 --> 00:05:37,862 Fine. The record shall so reflect. 132 00:05:37,864 --> 00:05:40,531 Now, getting back to the problem at hand, 133 00:05:40,533 --> 00:05:44,035 what to do with a washed-up experimental physicist... 134 00:05:45,937 --> 00:05:48,038 I am not washed-up. 135 00:05:48,040 --> 00:05:49,974 Oh, Leonard. 136 00:05:49,976 --> 00:05:53,310 Lots of people love you and want to help you, 137 00:05:53,312 --> 00:05:56,614 but they can't until you admit the problem. 138 00:05:59,217 --> 00:06:02,053 Well, ladies, we killed the bottle. 139 00:06:02,055 --> 00:06:03,354 I had half a glass. 140 00:06:03,356 --> 00:06:04,956 I didn't have any. 141 00:06:04,958 --> 00:06:06,992 Okay, don't judge me. 142 00:06:08,295 --> 00:06:09,929 So, what do you want to do-- 143 00:06:09,931 --> 00:06:13,332 go to the movies, go dancing, lay down for a little bit? 144 00:06:14,767 --> 00:06:18,671 Or we play... Travel Twister. 145 00:06:19,539 --> 00:06:21,874 Amy, really? Twister? 146 00:06:21,876 --> 00:06:23,309 Excuse me. I've passed many 147 00:06:23,311 --> 00:06:24,943 an enjoyable evening playing this game. 148 00:06:24,945 --> 00:06:26,745 And I'm sure it's a lot more exciting 149 00:06:26,747 --> 00:06:28,947 when you play with other people. 150 00:06:30,250 --> 00:06:32,551 What do you say, bestie? We can do shirts and skins. 151 00:06:32,553 --> 00:06:34,019 I'm shirts. Called it. 152 00:06:37,456 --> 00:06:39,090 I'm too small for Twister. 153 00:06:39,092 --> 00:06:40,391 And roller coasters. 154 00:06:40,393 --> 00:06:43,160 And sitting with my feet on the floor. 155 00:06:44,162 --> 00:06:47,664 Hope you enjoyed the prenatal cigarettes, Mom. 156 00:06:50,301 --> 00:06:51,868 Hey, you know, my mom smoked pot 157 00:06:51,870 --> 00:06:54,704 when she was pregnant with me, and I turned out just fine. 158 00:06:54,706 --> 00:06:56,072 Hey, look, I have peach schnapps. 159 00:06:56,074 --> 00:06:57,841 Thank God. 160 00:06:58,676 --> 00:07:00,443 Guys, something happened. 161 00:07:00,445 --> 00:07:01,478 What's wrong? 162 00:07:01,480 --> 00:07:03,881 I think a boy likes me. 163 00:07:05,116 --> 00:07:06,616 "Hi. It's Stuart. 164 00:07:06,618 --> 00:07:08,719 "We met at the comic book store. 165 00:07:08,721 --> 00:07:09,954 "I was wondering if you'd like 166 00:07:09,956 --> 00:07:10,988 "to get coffee sometime. 167 00:07:10,990 --> 00:07:12,390 "It's okay if you say no. 168 00:07:12,392 --> 00:07:14,592 "It might be the kick in the pants I need 169 00:07:14,594 --> 00:07:16,861 to start taking Zoloft." 170 00:07:18,364 --> 00:07:20,032 Amy, little vixen. 171 00:07:20,034 --> 00:07:23,502 Just working it under all those layers of wool and polyester. 172 00:07:24,371 --> 00:07:26,339 What are you going to do? 173 00:07:26,341 --> 00:07:27,874 Doesn't he know you have a boyfriend? 174 00:07:27,876 --> 00:07:29,476 Oh, she doesn't have a boyfriend; 175 00:07:29,478 --> 00:07:31,311 she has a Sheldon. 176 00:07:31,313 --> 00:07:33,480 So do you like Stuart? 177 00:07:33,482 --> 00:07:34,848 I don't know. 178 00:07:34,850 --> 00:07:36,149 He's nice. 179 00:07:36,151 --> 00:07:37,250 He's funny. 180 00:07:37,252 --> 00:07:38,852 He has the sallow, drawn countenance 181 00:07:38,854 --> 00:07:40,854 associated with an overactive thyroid gland. 182 00:07:40,856 --> 00:07:42,722 That's kind of hot. 183 00:07:43,557 --> 00:07:45,558 Okay, look, sweetie, we all love Sheldon, 184 00:07:45,560 --> 00:07:47,559 but you've been with him over a year now. 185 00:07:47,561 --> 00:07:48,627 If it's not going anywhere, 186 00:07:48,629 --> 00:07:50,062 what does it hurt to look around? 187 00:07:50,064 --> 00:07:51,830 Well, yeah, I guess they're not engaged 188 00:07:51,832 --> 00:07:53,598 like me and Howie. 189 00:07:53,600 --> 00:07:54,666 Yeah, for what it's worth, 190 00:07:54,668 --> 00:07:56,001 engaged people can look around, too. 191 00:07:56,003 --> 00:07:57,335 Lot of options out there. 192 00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:05,074 Watch Online Movies and Series for FREE www.osdb.link/lm 193 00:08:06,913 --> 00:08:08,447 Where's Stuart? 194 00:08:09,649 --> 00:08:11,315 Out. 195 00:08:12,651 --> 00:08:13,951 Who are you? 196 00:08:13,953 --> 00:08:15,119 I'm Dale. 197 00:08:15,121 --> 00:08:17,321 He left me in charge. 198 00:08:19,158 --> 00:08:20,591 Really? 199 00:08:20,593 --> 00:08:21,960 Yeah. 200 00:08:21,962 --> 00:08:24,128 I don't get it, either. 201 00:08:27,232 --> 00:08:30,534 I want to return this "Wild West and Witches" 202 00:08:30,536 --> 00:08:32,269 Ka'a expansion pack. 203 00:08:32,271 --> 00:08:34,138 Sorry. I don't do returns. 204 00:08:34,140 --> 00:08:36,341 They're hard. 205 00:08:37,209 --> 00:08:39,111 Sure, sure. 206 00:08:40,080 --> 00:08:41,747 Uh, when will Stuart be back? 207 00:08:41,749 --> 00:08:43,616 I don't know. He went out for coffee. 208 00:08:43,618 --> 00:08:44,918 With a girl. 209 00:08:47,656 --> 00:08:49,990 Oh, I guess I was wrong. 210 00:08:50,825 --> 00:08:52,326 You okay? 211 00:08:53,161 --> 00:08:54,628 Am I okay? 212 00:08:54,630 --> 00:08:56,897 Leonard, I'm on a lifelong trajectory 213 00:08:56,899 --> 00:08:59,967 that includes a Nobel Prize and cities named after me, 214 00:08:59,969 --> 00:09:01,368 all four wisdom teeth 215 00:09:01,370 --> 00:09:03,637 fit comfortably in my mouth without need of extraction, 216 00:09:03,639 --> 00:09:07,174 and my bowel movements run like a German train schedule. 217 00:09:09,510 --> 00:09:11,711 Am I okay? 218 00:09:12,646 --> 00:09:14,213 I'm okay, too! 219 00:09:21,445 --> 00:09:24,414 Wild Bill Witchcock. 220 00:09:26,383 --> 00:09:29,319 A tribe of Abra-Comanches. 221 00:09:34,126 --> 00:09:36,494 Flaming Spittoon. 222 00:09:36,496 --> 00:09:37,896 And for the record, 223 00:09:37,898 --> 00:09:39,664 I'm very disappointed in you cowpokes. 224 00:09:39,666 --> 00:09:41,633 We're playing our inaugural round 225 00:09:41,635 --> 00:09:43,469 of "Wild West and Witches," 226 00:09:43,471 --> 00:09:45,038 and I'm the only one who bothered 227 00:09:45,040 --> 00:09:47,006 to dress for the occasion. 228 00:09:47,008 --> 00:09:48,775 Patooie. 229 00:09:49,810 --> 00:09:52,111 We're not wearing cowboy hats, Sheldon. 230 00:09:52,113 --> 00:09:53,579 It looks ridiculous. 231 00:09:53,581 --> 00:09:57,849 And I suppose my boots and spurs are ridiculous, too? 232 00:09:57,851 --> 00:10:00,285 - Yeah. - Very. - Incredibly so. 233 00:10:00,287 --> 00:10:03,922 Did it look ridiculous when we got the Satanimals pack 234 00:10:03,924 --> 00:10:07,592 and I dressed up as a Beelzebobcat? 235 00:10:07,594 --> 00:10:09,560 - Yeah. - Very. - Incredibly so. 236 00:10:11,096 --> 00:10:12,963 All right, fine. Let's just play. 237 00:10:12,965 --> 00:10:14,632 We should go easy on him. 238 00:10:14,634 --> 00:10:16,434 Amy's out with Stuart tonight. 239 00:10:16,436 --> 00:10:17,702 Wait a minute. 240 00:10:17,704 --> 00:10:20,672 Are you telling me that Sheldon's patented blend 241 00:10:20,674 --> 00:10:22,807 of condescension and no sex 242 00:10:22,809 --> 00:10:25,377 isn't enough to hold on to a woman? 243 00:10:29,315 --> 00:10:30,348 Cluck, cluck, cluck. 244 00:10:30,350 --> 00:10:31,716 What are we, ladies at a quilting bee? 245 00:10:31,718 --> 00:10:34,753 Or are we men playing a fantasy card game 246 00:10:34,755 --> 00:10:37,555 set in a magical frontier town? 247 00:10:38,757 --> 00:10:40,658 Sorry. 248 00:10:40,660 --> 00:10:43,294 Creepy Tepee. 249 00:10:44,329 --> 00:10:46,863 Annie Ogly. 250 00:10:49,300 --> 00:10:52,035 Hocus Pocus Pocahontas. 251 00:10:52,037 --> 00:10:54,837 And may I point out it is the three of you 252 00:10:54,839 --> 00:10:57,273 who are obsessed with Stuart and Amy, not me. 253 00:10:57,275 --> 00:10:58,874 I think you need to ask yourselves 254 00:10:58,876 --> 00:11:01,010 who's really being ridiculous here. 255 00:11:09,385 --> 00:11:11,520 - It's you. - You are. - Totally you. 256 00:11:14,023 --> 00:11:15,256 Hey, guys, check it out. 257 00:11:15,258 --> 00:11:17,358 The deluxe limited edition "Wild West and Witches" 258 00:11:17,360 --> 00:11:20,895 expansion pack in the signed and numbered collector's tin. 259 00:11:20,897 --> 00:11:22,363 Come on, no! 260 00:11:22,365 --> 00:11:24,932 We just bought the regular pack. 261 00:11:24,934 --> 00:11:26,300 Ooh, a sheriff's badge. 262 00:11:28,070 --> 00:11:30,037 Yeah, it's also a wand. 263 00:11:31,841 --> 00:11:35,043 With a hologram? Nice! 264 00:11:35,045 --> 00:11:36,478 Hey, do you see this? 265 00:11:36,480 --> 00:11:39,114 I'm in the matrix, Leonard; I see everything. 266 00:11:39,116 --> 00:11:41,049 You got to be kidding me. 267 00:11:41,051 --> 00:11:43,151 You friended Stuart on Facebook? 268 00:11:43,153 --> 00:11:45,020 I thought you didn't like Facebook anymore. 269 00:11:45,022 --> 00:11:46,455 Don't be silly. 270 00:11:46,457 --> 00:11:49,725 I'm a fan of anything that tries to replace actual human contact. 271 00:11:49,727 --> 00:11:52,194 Please. 272 00:11:52,196 --> 00:11:54,731 You're looking at Facebook to find out how their date went. 273 00:11:54,733 --> 00:11:56,099 Really? 274 00:11:56,101 --> 00:11:57,734 You think I care if a man, what, 275 00:11:57,736 --> 00:12:01,671 "shared a pumpkin latte with a dynamite lady"? 276 00:12:01,673 --> 00:12:02,772 You're so full of it. 277 00:12:02,774 --> 00:12:04,207 You are free to believe 278 00:12:04,209 --> 00:12:06,342 whatever you like. 279 00:12:06,344 --> 00:12:09,646 And unfriend Rajesh Koothrappali. 280 00:12:09,648 --> 00:12:11,214 You unfriended me? Seriously? 281 00:12:11,216 --> 00:12:12,516 Oh, yeah. 282 00:12:12,518 --> 00:12:14,418 Now he's gonna miss all those great updates like, 283 00:12:14,420 --> 00:12:16,120 I can't believe I waited this long 284 00:12:16,122 --> 00:12:18,222 to make my own "potpourri" 285 00:12:19,625 --> 00:12:21,226 Sheldon, why don't you just acknowledge 286 00:12:21,228 --> 00:12:22,494 that you have feelings for Amy 287 00:12:22,496 --> 00:12:24,763 and you don't want her going out with other men? 288 00:12:24,765 --> 00:12:28,533 And unfriend Leonard Hofstadter. 289 00:12:28,535 --> 00:12:29,634 Here's a radical thought. 290 00:12:29,636 --> 00:12:32,003 Go old-school, challenge Stuart to a fight. 291 00:12:32,005 --> 00:12:33,638 I mean, nothing makes the ladies hotter 292 00:12:33,640 --> 00:12:35,540 than two skinny white guys 293 00:12:35,542 --> 00:12:37,942 swatting at each other with their eyes closed. 294 00:12:40,345 --> 00:12:42,546 And unfriend Howard Wolowitz. 295 00:12:43,448 --> 00:12:44,414 That's all of us. 296 00:12:44,416 --> 00:12:46,316 - Can I use the laptop? - Why? 297 00:12:46,318 --> 00:12:50,220 I have to buy that stupid collector's tin. 298 00:12:51,322 --> 00:12:53,323 Who do we love? Penny. 299 00:12:53,325 --> 00:12:54,825 Who do we love? Penny. 300 00:12:54,827 --> 00:12:57,394 Who do we love? Penny. 301 00:12:57,396 --> 00:12:59,129 Hello, Sheldon. 302 00:12:59,131 --> 00:13:00,364 Come on in. 303 00:13:00,366 --> 00:13:01,732 Thank you. 304 00:13:01,734 --> 00:13:03,534 What's up? 305 00:13:03,536 --> 00:13:07,337 I came to ask if you would like to go on a date with me. 306 00:13:09,173 --> 00:13:11,241 I'm sorry, what? 307 00:13:11,243 --> 00:13:12,509 A date. 308 00:13:12,511 --> 00:13:13,677 You and me. 309 00:13:13,679 --> 00:13:15,279 Dining, dancing, 310 00:13:15,281 --> 00:13:18,316 perhaps you'd like to take in a prizefight. 311 00:13:19,386 --> 00:13:22,254 God, are you trying to make Amy jealous? 312 00:13:22,256 --> 00:13:23,455 No. 313 00:13:23,457 --> 00:13:26,458 Why is everyone so obsessed with Amy and Stuart? 314 00:13:26,460 --> 00:13:28,793 Whether or not they may be having more pumpkin lattes 315 00:13:28,795 --> 00:13:30,762 or intercourse tonight. 316 00:13:30,764 --> 00:13:33,397 Okay, listen to me. 317 00:13:33,399 --> 00:13:36,468 Playing games is not gonna help get Amy back. 318 00:13:36,470 --> 00:13:38,603 I am not trying to get her back. 319 00:13:38,605 --> 00:13:41,906 But, out of curiosity, what is a way? 320 00:13:41,908 --> 00:13:43,975 All right, honey, let me tell you a story. 321 00:13:43,977 --> 00:13:47,145 There was a guy I liked, and I never told him how I felt. 322 00:13:47,147 --> 00:13:49,313 Eventually, he started going out with someone else, 323 00:13:49,315 --> 00:13:51,249 and I always regretted it. 324 00:13:51,251 --> 00:13:53,485 Do you see where I'm going with this? 325 00:13:53,487 --> 00:13:55,120 I believe I do. 326 00:13:55,122 --> 00:13:56,355 Mm. 327 00:13:56,357 --> 00:13:58,491 I'm the guy. 328 00:14:01,695 --> 00:14:03,195 You're not the guy. 329 00:14:03,197 --> 00:14:05,131 Are you sure? 330 00:14:05,133 --> 00:14:06,932 That would explain so much. 331 00:14:06,934 --> 00:14:09,535 Your constant presence in my apartment, 332 00:14:09,537 --> 00:14:12,338 that baffling dalliance with Leonard just to be near me, 333 00:14:12,340 --> 00:14:13,573 the way you call me 334 00:14:13,575 --> 00:14:15,641 "sweetie" all the time. 335 00:14:15,643 --> 00:14:16,976 I call everyone "sweetie." 336 00:14:16,978 --> 00:14:17,876 You tramp. 337 00:14:21,180 --> 00:14:22,547 Look, Sheldon, all I'm saying is 338 00:14:22,549 --> 00:14:24,649 strap on a pair and go talk to Amy. 339 00:14:24,651 --> 00:14:26,685 "Strap on a pair"? 340 00:14:26,687 --> 00:14:29,522 Of what, skates? 341 00:14:31,158 --> 00:14:34,026 Oh, sweetie, you are so not the guy. 342 00:14:40,835 --> 00:14:42,703 If you're bored, you can go. 343 00:14:42,705 --> 00:14:45,339 I understand. 344 00:14:45,341 --> 00:14:48,009 No, I'm having a nice time. 345 00:14:48,978 --> 00:14:51,312 Don't patronize me. 346 00:14:53,181 --> 00:14:54,548 Excuse me. Excuse me. 347 00:14:54,550 --> 00:14:55,716 Pardon me. 348 00:14:56,652 --> 00:14:58,218 Pardon me. Excuse me. 349 00:14:58,220 --> 00:14:59,253 Hi, Stuart. 350 00:14:59,255 --> 00:15:00,053 Hi, Sheldon. 351 00:15:00,055 --> 00:15:02,089 Pardon me... Excuse me... 352 00:15:06,994 --> 00:15:09,062 Sheldon, what are you doing here? 353 00:15:09,064 --> 00:15:11,866 The thought of you sitting in a darkened theater 354 00:15:11,868 --> 00:15:15,236 with a character like Stuart is repellent. 355 00:15:16,672 --> 00:15:18,507 No offense, Stuart. 356 00:15:18,509 --> 00:15:19,942 None taken. 357 00:15:19,944 --> 00:15:23,279 Although "repellent" is kind of a... kind of a strong word. 358 00:15:27,118 --> 00:15:29,920 I'm sorry this causes you discomfort, 359 00:15:29,922 --> 00:15:32,322 but based on the currently established parameters 360 00:15:32,324 --> 00:15:34,325 of our relationship, I can put myself 361 00:15:34,327 --> 00:15:36,127 in any repellent situation I want. 362 00:15:36,129 --> 00:15:37,962 Um, again... 363 00:15:37,964 --> 00:15:40,298 Stuart, please. You're being rude. 364 00:15:42,435 --> 00:15:44,870 Anything else? 365 00:15:44,872 --> 00:15:48,506 I believe I would like to alter 366 00:15:48,508 --> 00:15:51,276 the paradigm of our relationship. 367 00:15:53,112 --> 00:15:54,979 I'm listening. 368 00:15:54,981 --> 00:15:59,817 With the understanding that nothing changes whatsoever, 369 00:15:59,819 --> 00:16:01,686 physical or otherwise, 370 00:16:01,688 --> 00:16:04,189 I would not object to us 371 00:16:04,191 --> 00:16:09,527 no longer characterizing you as "not my girlfriend." 372 00:16:15,134 --> 00:16:17,501 Interesting. 373 00:16:17,503 --> 00:16:20,671 Now try it without the quadruple negative. 374 00:16:20,673 --> 00:16:24,041 You're being impossible. 375 00:16:24,043 --> 00:16:26,243 Hi, Stuart. 376 00:16:28,146 --> 00:16:31,148 Fine. 377 00:16:31,150 --> 00:16:34,719 Amy... 378 00:16:34,721 --> 00:16:37,856 will you be my girlfriend? 379 00:16:44,231 --> 00:16:45,231 Yes. 380 00:16:45,233 --> 00:16:48,601 Well, that's enough of that. 381 00:16:48,603 --> 00:16:50,103 Sorry to interrupt. 382 00:16:50,105 --> 00:16:52,005 You two enjoy your date. 383 00:16:52,007 --> 00:16:53,739 Here's a dollar for your troubles. 384 00:16:53,741 --> 00:16:55,774 Get yourself some Sour Patch Kids. 385 00:16:55,776 --> 00:16:57,643 Excuse me... Excuse me... Pardon me... 386 00:16:57,645 --> 00:17:00,412 Excuse me. Pardon me. 387 00:17:01,547 --> 00:17:05,450 So, other than you taking your relationship 388 00:17:05,452 --> 00:17:09,687 to the next level with another guy, this was nice. 389 00:17:11,457 --> 00:17:13,725 Yes, well, thanks for seeing me to my door. 390 00:17:13,727 --> 00:17:15,093 Oh, you're welcome. 391 00:17:15,095 --> 00:17:18,930 Amy. Amy. Amy. 392 00:17:20,799 --> 00:17:24,236 Let's wrap things up out there. 393 00:17:27,306 --> 00:17:29,241 Um, good night, Stuart. 394 00:17:29,243 --> 00:17:30,241 Good night. 395 00:17:32,044 --> 00:17:33,712 Take the hint, Stuart. 396 00:17:33,714 --> 00:17:35,980 The lady said "Good night." 397 00:17:39,385 --> 00:17:41,519 How did you get into my apartment? 398 00:17:41,521 --> 00:17:44,155 Wow. Is that the kind of nagging I can expect 399 00:17:44,157 --> 00:17:45,856 now that you're my girlfriend? 400 00:17:47,459 --> 00:17:49,861 Good thing I drew this up. 401 00:17:49,863 --> 00:17:51,395 What's that? 402 00:17:51,397 --> 00:17:55,465 I present to you the relationship agreement. 403 00:17:59,036 --> 00:18:01,771 A binding covenant that, in its 31 pages, 404 00:18:01,773 --> 00:18:03,940 enumerates, iterates and codifies 405 00:18:03,942 --> 00:18:06,843 the rights and responsibilities of Sheldon Lee Cooper, 406 00:18:06,845 --> 00:18:08,845 here and after known as "the boyfriend," 407 00:18:08,847 --> 00:18:14,384 and Amy Farrah Fowler, here and after known as "the girlfriend" 408 00:18:16,054 --> 00:18:19,423 It's so romantic. 409 00:18:19,425 --> 00:18:21,459 Mutual indemnification always is. 410 00:18:24,931 --> 00:18:29,300 Why don't you start perusing while I set up my notary stamp. 411 00:18:29,302 --> 00:18:32,636 "Section 5: Hand-holding. 412 00:18:32,638 --> 00:18:34,071 "Hand-holding is only allowed 413 00:18:34,073 --> 00:18:35,706 "under the following circumstances. 414 00:18:35,708 --> 00:18:38,508 "A: Either party is in danger of falling off a cliff, 415 00:18:38,510 --> 00:18:40,210 "precipice or ledge; 416 00:18:40,212 --> 00:18:42,745 "B: Either party is deserving of a hearty handshake 417 00:18:42,747 --> 00:18:45,348 "after winning a Nobel Prize; 418 00:18:45,350 --> 00:18:48,618 C: Moral support during flu shots 419 00:18:51,622 --> 00:18:53,123 Seems a bit restrictive. 420 00:18:53,125 --> 00:18:55,125 Feel free to retain a lawyer. 421 00:19:04,578 --> 00:19:06,712 Penny, I said "right hand red." 422 00:19:06,714 --> 00:19:07,847 Yeah, I heard you. 423 00:19:07,849 --> 00:19:10,616 I got red. 424 00:19:10,618 --> 00:19:15,321 Bernadette, left foot yellow. 425 00:19:16,758 --> 00:19:18,892 We should play limbo next. 426 00:19:18,894 --> 00:19:21,061 No one beats me at limbo. 427 00:19:22,130 --> 00:19:25,933 Penny. Amy. Bernadette. 428 00:19:28,104 --> 00:19:29,338 That's my boyfriend. 429 00:19:29,340 --> 00:19:30,705 It's open! 430 00:19:30,707 --> 00:19:33,274 I got a splinter. 431 00:19:33,276 --> 00:19:36,277 What do you want me to do about it? 432 00:19:36,279 --> 00:19:39,414 Relationship agreement Section 4: Boo-boos and Ouchies. 433 00:19:39,416 --> 00:19:41,115 You have to take care of it. 434 00:19:41,117 --> 00:19:43,317 I should've gotten a lawyer. 435 00:19:46,187 --> 00:19:48,922 Looks like it's just us playing. 436 00:19:54,929 --> 00:19:57,598 Penny? 437 00:19:59,834 --> 00:20:01,102 Penny, we're out of wine! 438 00:20:01,104 --> 00:20:02,404 You should probably drive. 438 00:20:03,305 --> 00:21:03,551 Do you want subtitles for any video? -=[ ai.OpenSubtitles.com ]=-