"The Big Bang Theory" The Tenure Turbulence

1 00:00:03,755 --> 00:00:05,974 Oh, my God. I love this chicken. 2 00:00:05,976 --> 00:00:07,559 Oh, you know what they say, 3 00:00:07,561 --> 00:00:11,062 best things in life are free. 4 00:00:11,064 --> 00:00:13,031 Okay, you're right. I eat your food a lot. 5 00:00:13,033 --> 00:00:13,982 Now, how about this? 6 00:00:13,984 --> 00:00:15,783 You can raid my fridge anytime you want. 7 00:00:15,785 --> 00:00:17,569 Oh, that's very kind of you. 8 00:00:17,571 --> 00:00:20,738 Next time I have a hankering to wash down a D-cell battery 9 00:00:20,740 --> 00:00:22,407 with a jar of old pickle juice, 10 00:00:22,409 --> 00:00:24,826 I'll come a-knockin'. 11 00:00:24,828 --> 00:00:26,995 Hey, Raj, you didn't send your RSVP in. 12 00:00:26,997 --> 00:00:28,914 I'm suppose to ask you if you're bringing someone to the wedding. 13 00:00:28,916 --> 00:00:30,716 I'll let you know. 14 00:00:30,718 --> 00:00:32,051 Well, can you make it soon? 15 00:00:32,053 --> 00:00:34,086 There's a battle royale going on over the seating charts. 16 00:00:34,088 --> 00:00:37,789 In one corner, Bernadette's mom, in the other three, mine. 17 00:00:37,791 --> 00:00:40,643 Yeah, I hate wedding receptions. 18 00:00:40,645 --> 00:00:42,061 Yeah, I wish the bride and groom 19 00:00:42,063 --> 00:00:43,479 would take a cue from Bilbo Baggins. 20 00:00:43,481 --> 00:00:46,649 Slip on the ring, disappear, and everyone goes home. 21 00:00:46,651 --> 00:00:49,485 Mm, you liked Professor Geyser's wedding. 22 00:00:49,487 --> 00:00:52,054 They had a make-your-own-sundae bar. 23 00:00:52,056 --> 00:00:54,440 Oh, that was a night to remember. 24 00:00:54,442 --> 00:00:58,944 Do you know, on one trip, I just had a bowl of nuts. 25 00:00:58,946 --> 00:01:01,697 Anyway, you got to let me know if you have a plus one. 26 00:01:01,699 --> 00:01:03,999 Because if not, my mom's trying to sneak in the doctor 27 00:01:04,001 --> 00:01:06,452 who sucked the fat out of her neck. 28 00:01:10,006 --> 00:01:11,507 All right, uh, fine. 29 00:01:11,509 --> 00:01:13,509 I'm coming and I'm bringing somebody. 30 00:01:13,511 --> 00:01:14,960 Uh, Koothrappali plus one. 31 00:01:14,962 --> 00:01:15,827 Who you bringing? 32 00:01:15,829 --> 00:01:16,929 Who are you bringing?! 33 00:01:18,014 --> 00:01:20,216 He's bringing me; who are you bringing? 34 00:01:20,218 --> 00:01:24,002 Wow, what a bunch of Nosey O'Donnells. 35 00:01:24,004 --> 00:01:25,537 Come on, who is it? 36 00:01:25,539 --> 00:01:27,389 I'm not telling. 37 00:01:27,391 --> 00:01:30,442 I'm from Asia, I'm mysterious, deal with it. 38 00:01:31,511 --> 00:01:34,196 Howard aren't having a make-your-own-sundae bar? 39 00:01:34,198 --> 00:01:36,031 I don't think so. 40 00:01:36,033 --> 00:01:37,066 Well, you should. 41 00:01:37,068 --> 00:01:39,118 50% of marriages end in divorce, 42 00:01:39,120 --> 00:01:42,938 but 100% of make-your-own-sundae bars end in happiness. 43 00:01:44,023 --> 00:01:47,459 ♪ Our whole universe was in a hot, dense state ♪ 44 00:01:47,461 --> 00:01:51,080 ♪ Then nearly 14 billion years ago expansion started... Wait! ♪ 45 00:01:51,082 --> 00:01:52,631 ♪ The Earth began to cool ♪ 46 00:01:52,633 --> 00:01:54,950 ♪ The autotrophs began to drool, Neanderthals developed tools ♪ 47 00:01:54,952 --> 00:01:57,586 ♪ We built the Wall ♪ ♪ <i>We built the pyramids</i> ♪ 48 00:01:57,588 --> 00:02:00,322 ♪ Math, Science, History, unraveling the mystery ♪ 49 00:02:00,324 --> 00:02:02,207 ♪ That all started with a big bang ♪ 50 00:02:02,209 --> 00:02:03,162 ♪ <i>Bang!</i> ♪ 51 00:02:11,768 --> 00:02:13,902 Hello, Mummy, Daddy. How are you? 52 00:02:13,904 --> 00:02:15,987 Pretty good. Can't complain. 53 00:02:15,989 --> 00:02:17,556 Oh, I'm sure you can. 54 00:02:17,558 --> 00:02:20,225 Just give it a minute. 55 00:02:20,227 --> 00:02:21,643 Listen, uh, 56 00:02:21,645 --> 00:02:23,862 there's something I want to talk to you about. 57 00:02:23,864 --> 00:02:26,415 I wasn't ready until now, but... 58 00:02:26,417 --> 00:02:27,982 I think it's time. 59 00:02:28,984 --> 00:02:30,534 It's finally happening. 60 00:02:30,536 --> 00:02:33,137 You're coming out of the closet, aren't you? 61 00:02:34,189 --> 00:02:37,041 We love you, and we accept your alternate lifestyle. 62 00:02:37,043 --> 00:02:40,361 Just... keep it to yourself. 63 00:02:40,363 --> 00:02:43,080 No, I'm not gay. 64 00:02:43,199 --> 00:02:45,183 If anything, I'm metrosexual. 65 00:02:45,185 --> 00:02:46,318 What's that? 66 00:02:46,320 --> 00:02:48,019 It means I like women 67 00:02:48,021 --> 00:02:50,272 as well as their skin-care products. 68 00:02:50,274 --> 00:02:51,990 Well, if you're not coming out, 69 00:02:51,992 --> 00:02:54,926 why did you call us during the cricket semifinals? 70 00:02:54,928 --> 00:02:58,063 I'm tired of trying to meet someone, 71 00:02:58,065 --> 00:03:01,783 and I think I'd like you to help me find a... 72 00:03:01,785 --> 00:03:03,652 a wife. 73 00:03:03,654 --> 00:03:05,670 And just to clarify... 74 00:03:05,672 --> 00:03:07,439 a female wife? 75 00:03:07,441 --> 00:03:09,791 Yes! 76 00:03:09,793 --> 00:03:12,794 Matchmaking-- very smart move, son. 77 00:03:12,796 --> 00:03:14,946 Much better than marrying for love. 78 00:03:19,752 --> 00:03:22,354 We married for love. 79 00:03:22,356 --> 00:03:26,024 And it's been wonderful! 80 00:03:28,311 --> 00:03:32,547 Quantum physics makes me so happy. 81 00:03:32,549 --> 00:03:33,899 Yeah, I'm glad. 82 00:03:33,901 --> 00:03:36,585 It's like looking at the universe naked. 83 00:03:44,361 --> 00:03:46,244 Hi. Guys got a minute? 84 00:03:46,246 --> 00:03:47,496 Sure. What's up? 85 00:03:47,498 --> 00:03:50,064 Well, I was thinking about Sheldon's little joke 86 00:03:50,066 --> 00:03:52,200 the other night about me eating all your food. 87 00:03:52,202 --> 00:03:54,369 Oh! That was no joke. But... 88 00:03:55,254 --> 00:03:56,371 I understand your confusion, 89 00:03:56,373 --> 00:03:58,457 as I am our group's resident cutup. 90 00:04:00,092 --> 00:04:01,193 I'm sorry, 91 00:04:01,195 --> 00:04:03,094 you are our resident cutup? 92 00:04:03,096 --> 00:04:05,430 Yes. 93 00:04:05,432 --> 00:04:07,415 Oh, prove it. 94 00:04:07,417 --> 00:04:08,467 Knock-knock. 95 00:04:08,469 --> 00:04:10,135 - Who's there? - Interrupting physicist. 96 00:04:10,137 --> 00:04:13,054 Interrupting phys... Muon! 97 00:04:15,808 --> 00:04:18,426 Anyway, I got a little residual check from my commercial, 98 00:04:18,428 --> 00:04:20,579 and I thought, hey, how about I get the guys 99 00:04:20,581 --> 00:04:22,931 a little thank you to pay them back? 100 00:04:22,933 --> 00:04:23,765 So, Sheldon... 101 00:04:23,767 --> 00:04:25,567 ta-da! 102 00:04:25,569 --> 00:04:28,269 A vintage mint-in-box 103 00:04:28,271 --> 00:04:31,272 1975 Mego <i>Star Trek</i> Transporter 104 00:04:31,274 --> 00:04:32,741 with real transporter action. 105 00:04:32,743 --> 00:04:34,609 Hot darn! 106 00:04:34,611 --> 00:04:37,245 Where did you get that? 107 00:04:37,247 --> 00:04:38,713 From Stuart, at the comic book store. 108 00:04:38,715 --> 00:04:41,800 You went to the comic book store by yourself? 109 00:04:41,802 --> 00:04:43,468 Yeah. It was fun. 110 00:04:43,470 --> 00:04:46,805 I walked in, and two different guys got asthma attacks. 111 00:04:47,807 --> 00:04:49,791 Felt pretty good. 112 00:04:49,793 --> 00:04:52,310 This calls for an expression of gratitude. 113 00:04:52,312 --> 00:04:55,063 Ooh, am I about to get a rare Sheldon Cooper hug? 114 00:04:55,065 --> 00:04:57,399 No, not this time. Then they wouldn't be special. 115 00:04:57,401 --> 00:04:58,800 Thanks, Penny. 116 00:05:00,686 --> 00:05:02,153 You're welcome. 117 00:05:02,155 --> 00:05:04,155 Don't worry, I didn't forget about you. 118 00:05:04,157 --> 00:05:05,473 Oh... 119 00:05:05,475 --> 00:05:07,692 Leonard, I got you... 120 00:05:07,694 --> 00:05:09,594 a label-maker! 121 00:05:15,484 --> 00:05:18,653 Wow... 122 00:05:18,655 --> 00:05:20,038 No, it's great. 123 00:05:20,040 --> 00:05:22,991 - Also mint-in-box. - Mm. 124 00:05:22,993 --> 00:05:25,343 And I got you a transporter, too! 125 00:05:25,345 --> 00:05:26,878 Awesome! 126 00:05:30,383 --> 00:05:32,634 Look, it was actually designed for 127 00:05:32,636 --> 00:05:34,168 my vintage Mr. Spock action figure. 128 00:05:34,170 --> 00:05:36,421 Oh, that's great! Let's open them up and put him in there. 129 00:05:36,423 --> 00:05:38,473 - Open it?! - Oh, good Lord, no! 130 00:05:38,475 --> 00:05:40,692 Why? They're just toys. 131 00:05:40,694 --> 00:05:42,861 - They're collectibles. - They're mint-in-box. 132 00:05:42,863 --> 00:05:44,613 Come on. Can't we open one up and take a look? 133 00:05:44,615 --> 00:05:46,848 No, don't! 134 00:05:46,850 --> 00:05:49,985 Once you open the box, it loses its value. 135 00:05:49,987 --> 00:05:53,321 Yeah, yeah. My mom gave me the same lecture about my virginity. 136 00:05:55,124 --> 00:05:57,325 Gotta tell you, it was a lot more fun 137 00:05:57,327 --> 00:05:59,511 taking it out and playing with it. 138 00:06:01,914 --> 00:06:04,866 Are you sure you want us here when you meet this woman? 139 00:06:04,868 --> 00:06:05,834 Oh, yes. 140 00:06:05,836 --> 00:06:07,002 In my culture, it's expected 141 00:06:07,004 --> 00:06:09,004 to have a chaperone to oversee a first date. 142 00:06:09,006 --> 00:06:11,590 Plus, I want to make a good impression, and no offense, 143 00:06:11,592 --> 00:06:15,343 but with you guys here, I look like I'm six-two. 144 00:06:16,846 --> 00:06:19,848 The nuns always chaperoned the dances at my high school. 145 00:06:19,850 --> 00:06:23,985 They used to make us leave room between us for the Holy Spirit. 146 00:06:23,987 --> 00:06:25,520 Uh, Hindus do the same thing. 147 00:06:25,522 --> 00:06:28,523 Except they leave room for a cow. 148 00:06:28,525 --> 00:06:32,077 Listen, I love your charming racist humor, but any chance 149 00:06:32,079 --> 00:06:34,446 you could not mock my religion while she's here? 150 00:06:34,448 --> 00:06:36,665 Yesterday, you made fun of me for eating lox. 151 00:06:36,667 --> 00:06:38,667 It's different, your people don't worship lox. 152 00:06:38,669 --> 00:06:41,720 Clearly, you've never been to brunch with my cousins. 153 00:06:42,838 --> 00:06:44,623 So, arranged marriages-- the parents just decide 154 00:06:44,625 --> 00:06:46,424 and then you have to get married? 155 00:06:46,426 --> 00:06:48,343 No, no, I get a say in it. 156 00:06:48,345 --> 00:06:50,545 But I'm sure whoever shows up will be better company 157 00:06:50,547 --> 00:06:51,880 than the threesome I've been having 158 00:06:51,882 --> 00:06:54,432 with Aunt Jemima and Mrs. Butterworth. 159 00:06:56,352 --> 00:06:58,053 Excuse me, are you Rajesh? 160 00:06:58,055 --> 00:06:58,937 Ah, yes. 161 00:06:58,939 --> 00:06:59,971 You must be Lakshmi. 162 00:06:59,973 --> 00:07:01,255 Uh, nice to meet you. 163 00:07:01,257 --> 00:07:02,724 Nice to meet you, too. 164 00:07:03,610 --> 00:07:05,093 Oh! These are my friends. 165 00:07:05,095 --> 00:07:06,778 - This is Bernadette. - Hello. 166 00:07:06,780 --> 00:07:08,647 - And this is Howard. - Nice to meet you. 167 00:07:08,649 --> 00:07:11,199 - You, too. - Please, have a seat. 168 00:07:11,201 --> 00:07:13,902 I'm thinking double wedding. 169 00:07:18,240 --> 00:07:21,326 <i>Dr. Cooper.</i> 170 00:07:23,129 --> 00:07:26,264 <i>Dr. Cooper?</i> 171 00:07:26,266 --> 00:07:27,499 Is someone there? 172 00:07:27,501 --> 00:07:30,101 <i>Down here.</i> <i>On your desk.</i> 173 00:07:33,956 --> 00:07:35,790 Spock? 174 00:07:35,792 --> 00:07:38,660 <i>I need to speak with you.</i> 175 00:07:38,662 --> 00:07:41,796 Fascinating. 176 00:07:41,798 --> 00:07:45,150 The only logical explanation is that this is a dream. 177 00:07:45,152 --> 00:07:47,986 <i>It is not the only</i> <i>logical explanation.</i> 178 00:07:47,988 --> 00:07:50,555 <i>For example,</i> <i>you could be hallucinating</i> 179 00:07:50,557 --> 00:07:55,060 <i>after being hit on the head</i> <i>by, say, a coconut.</i> 180 00:07:55,062 --> 00:07:58,813 Was I hit on the head by a coconut? 181 00:07:58,815 --> 00:08:02,784 <i>I am not going to</i> <i>dignify that with a response.</i> 182 00:08:04,036 --> 00:08:05,236 <i>Now to the matter at hand.</i> 183 00:08:05,238 --> 00:08:07,806 <i>You need to play</i> <i>with the transporter toy.</i> 184 00:08:07,808 --> 00:08:09,257 But it's mint-in-box. 185 00:08:09,259 --> 00:08:10,408 <i>Yes.</i> 186 00:08:10,410 --> 00:08:12,494 <i>And to open it</i> <i>would destroy its value.</i> 187 00:08:12,496 --> 00:08:15,447 <i>But remember, like me,</i> 188 00:08:15,449 --> 00:08:17,515 <i>you also have a human half.</i> 189 00:08:17,517 --> 00:08:21,502 Well, I'm not going to dignify that with a response. 190 00:08:21,504 --> 00:08:23,922 <i>Consider this.</i> 191 00:08:23,924 --> 00:08:25,790 <i>What is the purpose of a toy?</i> 192 00:08:25,792 --> 00:08:27,192 To be played with. 193 00:08:27,194 --> 00:08:30,195 <i>Therefore, to not</i> <i>play with it would be...?</i> 194 00:08:30,197 --> 00:08:31,696 Illogical. 195 00:08:31,698 --> 00:08:35,349 Damn it, Spock, you're right. 196 00:08:35,351 --> 00:08:37,619 I'll do it. 197 00:08:37,621 --> 00:08:39,187 <i>Sheldon, wait.</i> 198 00:08:40,106 --> 00:08:41,740 <i>You have to wake up first.</i> 199 00:08:41,742 --> 00:08:43,858 Oh, of course. 200 00:08:43,860 --> 00:08:47,178 Set phasers to dumb, right? 201 00:08:48,164 --> 00:08:49,864 Goodie, goodie, goodie! 202 00:08:52,168 --> 00:08:53,668 This is wrong, this is wrong. 203 00:08:53,670 --> 00:08:56,221 I'm so excited, but this is wrong. 204 00:08:59,091 --> 00:09:00,842 I'm going to do it. 205 00:09:00,844 --> 00:09:02,594 I'm doing it. 206 00:09:02,596 --> 00:09:04,646 I did it. 207 00:09:09,219 --> 00:09:12,070 That's what I always thought 1975 smelled like. 208 00:09:15,157 --> 00:09:18,493 One to beam down, Mr. Scott. 209 00:09:18,495 --> 00:09:20,328 Aye, aye, Mr. Spock. 210 00:09:20,330 --> 00:09:21,863 Energize. 211 00:09:25,584 --> 00:09:27,352 Energize. 212 00:09:29,000 --> 00:09:35,074 Watch Online Movies and Series for FREE www.osdb.link/lm 213 00:09:37,379 --> 00:09:38,963 No. No. 214 00:09:38,965 --> 00:09:40,965 Don't be broken. 215 00:09:40,967 --> 00:09:43,601 Oh, please, don't be broken. 216 00:09:45,420 --> 00:09:48,556 What did you make me do?! 217 00:09:48,558 --> 00:09:51,860 Okay, okay, think. 218 00:09:58,284 --> 00:10:00,485 It's only logical. 219 00:10:04,955 --> 00:10:05,841 My goodness, 220 00:10:05,842 --> 00:10:07,458 that was delicious. 221 00:10:07,459 --> 00:10:11,261 Well, I hope you saved room for chocolate lava cake. 222 00:10:11,263 --> 00:10:12,812 Impressive. 223 00:10:13,115 --> 00:10:15,266 What goes into making something like that? 224 00:10:15,268 --> 00:10:16,984 Well, you start out by trying to 225 00:10:16,986 --> 00:10:20,037 make chocolate soufflé, and when it falls, you panic, 226 00:10:20,039 --> 00:10:22,940 quickly change the name, and voila, lava cake. 227 00:10:24,192 --> 00:10:27,244 I bet our parents are dying to know how things are going here. 228 00:10:27,246 --> 00:10:29,196 Well, let's see. 229 00:10:30,499 --> 00:10:32,366 Yep, three missed calls. 230 00:10:32,368 --> 00:10:34,168 Four missed calls, two text messages 231 00:10:34,170 --> 00:10:36,236 and a failed video chat. I win! 232 00:10:37,790 --> 00:10:40,508 So, what are we going to tell them? 233 00:10:40,510 --> 00:10:43,344 I'd like to tell them things are going well. 234 00:10:43,346 --> 00:10:44,512 Me, too. 235 00:10:44,514 --> 00:10:46,180 But before we get their hopes up, 236 00:10:46,182 --> 00:10:48,632 we should probably make sure we're on the same page. 237 00:10:48,634 --> 00:10:50,551 Okay. 238 00:10:50,553 --> 00:10:52,937 What page are you on? 239 00:10:52,939 --> 00:10:54,221 I'm on the one 240 00:10:54,223 --> 00:10:56,390 where I'm under a lot of pressure 241 00:10:56,392 --> 00:10:58,926 from my parents to get married and settle down 242 00:10:58,928 --> 00:11:00,561 and have a family, 243 00:11:00,563 --> 00:11:03,714 and I'm going to do it so they don't find out I'm gay. 244 00:11:05,383 --> 00:11:07,785 Say again? 245 00:11:07,787 --> 00:11:09,119 I'm gay. 246 00:11:09,121 --> 00:11:11,889 Like... dude-on-dude, 247 00:11:11,891 --> 00:11:14,525 but with women? 248 00:11:14,527 --> 00:11:16,994 I know a fake marriage isn't an honest way to live, 249 00:11:16,996 --> 00:11:19,446 but you of all people should know how difficult it is 250 00:11:19,448 --> 00:11:20,948 to come out in our culture. 251 00:11:20,950 --> 00:11:23,784 Why me of all people?! 252 00:11:23,786 --> 00:11:26,237 Well, there's a rumor back in New Delhi that you're-- 253 00:11:26,239 --> 00:11:27,738 how shall we say-- 254 00:11:27,740 --> 00:11:30,391 comfortable in a sari. 255 00:11:30,393 --> 00:11:32,476 I'm not gay! 256 00:11:32,478 --> 00:11:33,978 Really? The chocolate lava cake, 257 00:11:33,980 --> 00:11:36,647 the little soaps in the bathroom, and I'm sorry, 258 00:11:36,649 --> 00:11:39,350 but you're wearing more perfume than I am. 259 00:11:39,352 --> 00:11:43,821 That's Unbreakable by Khloe and Lamar. 260 00:11:43,823 --> 00:11:46,523 And for your information, it's unisex. 261 00:11:46,525 --> 00:11:48,242 Fill in the blank. 262 00:11:48,244 --> 00:11:49,977 I love the nightlife... 263 00:11:49,979 --> 00:11:51,428 I like to boogie. 264 00:11:51,430 --> 00:11:52,479 Got you. 265 00:11:52,481 --> 00:11:56,116 With women! I like to boogie with women! 266 00:11:56,118 --> 00:11:58,052 That's disappointing. 267 00:11:58,054 --> 00:12:00,754 You were exactly the kind of phony-baloney husband 268 00:12:00,756 --> 00:12:02,323 I was looking for. 269 00:12:02,325 --> 00:12:03,991 Thank you. 270 00:12:03,993 --> 00:12:07,962 And once again, my baloney likes girls. 271 00:12:07,964 --> 00:12:10,330 W-W-Wait! 272 00:12:10,332 --> 00:12:12,549 You don't want to put a bite of that in your mouth 273 00:12:12,551 --> 00:12:14,985 without trying my homemade Chantilly cream. 274 00:12:16,170 --> 00:12:18,656 Yeah, okay, that time I heard it. 275 00:12:29,902 --> 00:12:33,288 Oh, dear. 276 00:12:33,290 --> 00:12:36,791 Two suns and no sunscreen. 277 00:12:41,297 --> 00:12:42,864 <i>Hello again, Sheldon.</i> 278 00:12:44,734 --> 00:12:47,736 What is it now, Tiny Spock? 279 00:12:47,738 --> 00:12:49,804 I am very disappointed in you. 280 00:12:49,806 --> 00:12:52,407 You broke your toy <i>and switched it with Leonard's.</i> 281 00:12:52,409 --> 00:12:54,776 <i>You should be</i> <i>ashamed of yourself.</i> 282 00:12:54,778 --> 00:12:57,512 You're the one who told me to play with it. 283 00:12:57,514 --> 00:12:59,814 <i>If I told you to jump off</i> <i>the bridge of the</i> Enterprise, 284 00:12:59,816 --> 00:13:01,282 <i>would you do it?</i> 285 00:13:01,284 --> 00:13:04,185 Oh, if I got on the bridge of the <i>Enterprise,</i> 286 00:13:04,187 --> 00:13:06,771 I would never, ever leave. 287 00:13:06,773 --> 00:13:10,925 <i>Trust me, it gets old</i> <i>after a while.</i> 288 00:13:12,428 --> 00:13:14,429 <i>You must right</i> <i>your wrongs, Sheldon.</i> 289 00:13:14,431 --> 00:13:16,397 Why? I got away with it. 290 00:13:16,399 --> 00:13:19,918 Leonard has his toy, and he's never going to open it, 291 00:13:19,920 --> 00:13:21,703 so he won't know it's broken. 292 00:13:21,705 --> 00:13:24,039 And I have a toy that isn't broken. 293 00:13:24,041 --> 00:13:25,373 Everybody's happy. 294 00:13:25,375 --> 00:13:27,125 <i>Well, I am unhappy.</i> 295 00:13:27,127 --> 00:13:30,061 I thought where you come from they don't have emotions. 296 00:13:30,063 --> 00:13:34,632 <i>I come from a factory</i> <i>in Taiwan.</i> 297 00:13:35,534 --> 00:13:37,102 <i>Now, do the right thing.</i> 298 00:13:37,104 --> 00:13:38,770 You know what you are? 299 00:13:38,772 --> 00:13:41,923 Well, you're a green-blooded buzz kill. 300 00:13:41,925 --> 00:13:44,425 Perhaps it's time you beam on out of here. 301 00:13:45,427 --> 00:13:46,360 Fine. 302 00:13:46,362 --> 00:13:48,512 <i>I will just use</i> <i>the transporter.</i> 303 00:13:48,514 --> 00:13:49,780 Oh, right. 304 00:13:49,782 --> 00:13:52,216 <i>You broke it.</i> 305 00:13:52,218 --> 00:13:54,401 Very well. 306 00:13:54,403 --> 00:13:57,488 Cooper to <i>Enterprise,</i> one to beam up. 307 00:13:57,490 --> 00:13:59,623 Energize. 308 00:14:10,820 --> 00:14:13,771 Tiny Spock, help. 309 00:14:18,560 --> 00:14:19,977 Ready for lunch? 310 00:14:19,979 --> 00:14:21,428 Yeah, one sec. 311 00:14:21,430 --> 00:14:23,647 Oh, good. Ma would've killed me 312 00:14:23,649 --> 00:14:27,017 if she found out I broke my retainer. 313 00:14:28,453 --> 00:14:29,903 Hey, uh... 314 00:14:29,905 --> 00:14:32,305 can I run something by you? It's about Lakshmi. 315 00:14:32,307 --> 00:14:34,191 Yeah, sure. How are things going? 316 00:14:34,193 --> 00:14:35,993 We hit a couple of bumps. 317 00:14:35,995 --> 00:14:37,161 She lives over in Manhattan Beach, 318 00:14:37,163 --> 00:14:39,279 so it takes, like, an hour to get there. 319 00:14:39,998 --> 00:14:41,715 And she's a lesbian. 320 00:14:41,717 --> 00:14:44,868 What do you mean, "she's a lesbian"? 321 00:14:44,870 --> 00:14:47,121 Well, you know how whenever you and I would try 322 00:14:47,123 --> 00:14:49,489 to hit on women in bars and they'd blow us off 323 00:14:49,491 --> 00:14:51,675 and then we'd tell each other they were probably gay? 324 00:14:51,677 --> 00:14:52,676 It's like that. 325 00:14:52,678 --> 00:14:55,662 Except this time, it's true. 326 00:14:55,664 --> 00:14:57,998 Then why did she even go out with you? 327 00:14:58,000 --> 00:14:59,299 She was looking 328 00:14:59,301 --> 00:15:01,685 for a husband so she can appear to be straight. 329 00:15:01,687 --> 00:15:02,936 And, you know, 330 00:15:02,938 --> 00:15:05,556 it sounded crazy to me at first... 331 00:15:05,558 --> 00:15:08,675 but I'm actually thinking about doing it. 332 00:15:08,677 --> 00:15:12,196 Okay, so the reason that might sound crazy... 333 00:15:12,198 --> 00:15:14,565 is 'cause it's <i>crazy!</i> 334 00:15:14,567 --> 00:15:16,567 Look, Howard, you're in a relationship. 335 00:15:16,569 --> 00:15:19,069 You know you have to make compromises. 336 00:15:19,071 --> 00:15:21,789 Yes, but my compromises are about which bedspread to buy 337 00:15:21,791 --> 00:15:24,408 or whose turn it is to do the laundry, 338 00:15:24,410 --> 00:15:26,326 Bernadette's or my mom's. 339 00:15:29,998 --> 00:15:31,465 It's a great deal. 340 00:15:31,467 --> 00:15:33,200 We both get our parents off our backs, 341 00:15:33,202 --> 00:15:35,803 I don't have to come home to an empty apartment every night. 342 00:15:35,805 --> 00:15:38,472 Plus, once I'm married, I can finally eat carbs again 343 00:15:38,474 --> 00:15:41,225 and let myself go. 344 00:15:41,227 --> 00:15:43,543 Why don't you tell your parents 345 00:15:43,545 --> 00:15:45,929 you want to try to find someone else? 346 00:15:45,931 --> 00:15:48,982 Maybe one who hasn't slept with more woman than you. 347 00:15:48,984 --> 00:15:51,602 Because this one wants to marry me. 348 00:15:51,604 --> 00:15:54,554 I might never find another one who does. 349 00:15:54,556 --> 00:15:56,740 So you're seriously thinking about marrying someone 350 00:15:56,742 --> 00:15:58,742 you're never gonna have sex with? 351 00:15:58,744 --> 00:16:00,194 I can't believe your attitude. 352 00:16:00,196 --> 00:16:03,280 I thought you were in favor of gay people getting married. 353 00:16:05,216 --> 00:16:07,534 Yes, to other gay people! 354 00:16:07,536 --> 00:16:11,722 Do you hear how homophobic you sound? 355 00:16:51,996 --> 00:16:54,948 Oh, I don't want a broken toy. 356 00:16:57,886 --> 00:17:00,804 Nothing! 357 00:17:00,806 --> 00:17:02,306 What? 358 00:17:02,308 --> 00:17:04,508 Nothing. I said nothing. 359 00:17:04,510 --> 00:17:05,509 That was weird. 360 00:17:05,511 --> 00:17:07,844 Really? I don't even notice anymore. 361 00:17:09,564 --> 00:17:11,798 I cannot believe you guys aren't gonna play with these. 362 00:17:11,800 --> 00:17:13,800 Well, I told you, you don't. It's mint-in-box. 363 00:17:13,802 --> 00:17:16,637 I don't know. I just think it's a waste. 364 00:17:21,943 --> 00:17:24,644 Relax. I'm just looking at the box. 365 00:17:24,646 --> 00:17:26,330 Perhaps you should look with your eyes 366 00:17:26,332 --> 00:17:29,649 and not your muscular Nebraska man hands. 367 00:17:29,651 --> 00:17:32,652 What is your problem?! 368 00:17:32,654 --> 00:17:35,822 My problem is that I don't want you to break Leonard's toy. 369 00:17:35,824 --> 00:17:37,708 Which you probably did by shaking it! 370 00:17:37,710 --> 00:17:40,544 She shook it, we all saw her. 371 00:17:40,546 --> 00:17:41,845 Leonard, I bought you this 372 00:17:41,847 --> 00:17:43,880 'cause I wanted you to have fun with it. 373 00:17:43,882 --> 00:17:45,849 I don't want it to sit in this box. 374 00:17:45,851 --> 00:17:48,468 You know, you're right. 375 00:17:48,470 --> 00:17:49,603 I mean, it's from you, 376 00:17:49,605 --> 00:17:51,855 I'm never gonna sell it. 377 00:17:51,857 --> 00:17:53,340 - I'm opening it. - Yes! 378 00:18:05,119 --> 00:18:07,454 - It's broken. - What? 379 00:18:07,456 --> 00:18:09,573 Oh, nice job, man hands! 380 00:18:10,524 --> 00:18:11,992 I didn't break it. 381 00:18:11,994 --> 00:18:15,078 I guess Stuart sold it to me like this. 382 00:18:15,080 --> 00:18:17,664 Yes. Yes, he did. 383 00:18:17,666 --> 00:18:21,134 That is a perfectly satisfying and plausible explana... 384 00:18:21,136 --> 00:18:22,853 Let's all be mad at Stuart! 385 00:18:23,871 --> 00:18:25,722 You know, I paid a lot for this. 386 00:18:25,724 --> 00:18:27,540 Let's take it over there and show him. 387 00:18:27,542 --> 00:18:29,026 Absolutely. 388 00:18:32,346 --> 00:18:33,729 Wait! 389 00:18:36,183 --> 00:18:38,401 It was me. 390 00:18:39,569 --> 00:18:41,737 I opened your toy... 391 00:18:41,739 --> 00:18:45,691 discovered it was broken and didn't tell you. 392 00:18:45,693 --> 00:18:48,277 Why would you open mine? 393 00:18:48,279 --> 00:18:50,496 I didn't. That was a lie. 394 00:18:50,498 --> 00:18:53,249 I opened my own toy... 395 00:18:53,251 --> 00:18:56,786 and it was already broken, so I switched them. 396 00:18:56,788 --> 00:18:59,255 You should talk to Stuart. 397 00:18:59,257 --> 00:19:01,357 I can't, because that was a lie. 398 00:19:02,592 --> 00:19:04,960 Yours was broken in an earthquake-- 399 00:19:04,962 --> 00:19:07,380 and that's a lie. 400 00:19:09,249 --> 00:19:11,083 What is the truth? 401 00:19:11,085 --> 00:19:13,853 My Mr. Spock doll came to me in a dream 402 00:19:13,855 --> 00:19:15,604 and forced me to open it. 403 00:19:15,606 --> 00:19:19,692 And when the toy broke, I switched it for yours. 404 00:19:18,694 --> 00:19:20,760 Later, he encouraged me to do the right thing, 405 00:19:20,762 --> 00:19:22,095 and I defied him. 406 00:19:22,097 --> 00:19:25,399 And then I was attacked by a Gorn. 407 00:19:28,669 --> 00:19:31,321 Okay, that I believe. 408 00:19:31,323 --> 00:19:33,773 Leonard, Penny, I just, I want you both to know 409 00:19:33,775 --> 00:19:36,109 that I regret my actions towards the two of you. 410 00:19:36,111 --> 00:19:38,111 That's a lie. 411 00:19:38,113 --> 00:19:40,664 So, is that one mine? 412 00:19:40,666 --> 00:19:41,665 Yes. 413 00:19:41,667 --> 00:19:43,750 Well, hand it over so I can open it. 414 00:19:43,752 --> 00:19:45,385 Okay. 415 00:19:45,387 --> 00:19:48,121 And, Leonard, even though I don't have one anymore, 416 00:19:48,123 --> 00:19:50,457 I hope you have fun playing with it. 417 00:19:50,459 --> 00:19:53,310 And that's a lie, right? It's a big, fat whopper. 418 00:19:54,795 --> 00:19:56,646 I hope it breaks. 419 00:20:01,989 --> 00:20:03,064 This is a treat. 420 00:20:03,065 --> 00:20:04,931 What brings you guys by? 421 00:20:04,933 --> 00:20:08,284 Raj, Howie told me what's going on with you and Lakshmi. 422 00:20:08,286 --> 00:20:09,819 You told her? 423 00:20:09,821 --> 00:20:12,255 I told everybody. 424 00:20:13,607 --> 00:20:15,158 We believe there's someone out there 425 00:20:15,160 --> 00:20:16,660 who will love you for you. 426 00:20:16,662 --> 00:20:18,528 Actually, we kind of agreed to disagree 427 00:20:18,530 --> 00:20:20,580 on that one, but we both think 428 00:20:20,582 --> 00:20:22,815 you shouldn't marry this woman. 429 00:20:22,817 --> 00:20:25,818 So, while I'm waiting for this mysterious perfect match 430 00:20:25,820 --> 00:20:29,172 who may or may not exist, I'm supposed to just be alone? 431 00:20:29,174 --> 00:20:31,508 Not necessarily. I think 432 00:20:31,510 --> 00:20:35,428 we found someone for you to cuddle with. 433 00:20:35,430 --> 00:20:38,431 Oh, my goodness. 434 00:20:38,433 --> 00:20:42,668 Aren't you the cutest little Yorkie ever! 435 00:20:43,854 --> 00:20:45,671 You got him for me? 436 00:20:45,673 --> 00:20:49,059 Her. We thought you two would hit it off. 437 00:20:49,061 --> 00:20:50,510 I think we already have. 438 00:20:50,512 --> 00:20:52,345 Thank you guys so much. 439 00:20:52,599 --> 00:20:56,401 Let's go see if you fit in my man purse. 440 00:20:58,173 --> 00:21:00,039 Heterosexual, my ass. 440 00:21:01,305 --> 00:22:01,266 Watch Online Movies and Series for FREE www.osdb.link/lm