The Outlaws Is Coming

1 00:00:01,376 --> 00:00:04,630 [£07] 2 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org 3 00:00:30,322 --> 00:00:32,074 Where's Hammond? 4 00:00:35,118 --> 00:00:36,119 [GUNFIRE] 5 00:00:36,203 --> 00:00:37,788 I said, where's Hammond? 6 00:01:48,942 --> 00:01:51,320 Lucky for you I gotta reload. 7 00:01:53,697 --> 00:01:58,410 Oh, there you are, you mangy fink coyote! 8 00:02:01,705 --> 00:02:03,957 I got a message for you from Rance Roden. 9 00:02:04,041 --> 00:02:08,670 He wants his gambling cut and protection fee by tonight, 10 00:02:08,754 --> 00:02:11,506 or I'm gonna come back here and, uh... 11 00:02:14,426 --> 00:02:15,719 get rough. 12 00:02:19,640 --> 00:02:23,268 I don't wanna no trouble with Mr. Roden. 13 00:02:23,352 --> 00:02:25,312 Uh, take the whole place. 14 00:02:25,395 --> 00:02:31,401 I-- I'll take the next stage back to Ph-Ph-Philadelphia! 15 00:02:32,653 --> 00:02:34,988 Now you're getting smart. 16 00:02:46,041 --> 00:02:48,669 NARRATOR: A fiery villain with the speed of light. 17 00:02:48,752 --> 00:02:51,963 A burst of bullets and a hearty "hi-ho"! 18 00:02:52,047 --> 00:02:53,674 TRIGGER: Whoo-hoo! 19 00:02:53,757 --> 00:02:56,927 NARRATOR: The roaring frontier lives again! 20 00:02:57,010 --> 00:02:59,304 From out of the dusty files of the Old West 21 00:02:59,388 --> 00:03:02,516 comes the thundering truth of the great heroes of television. 22 00:03:02,599 --> 00:03:05,394 The unvarnished accounts and revolting revelations 23 00:03:05,477 --> 00:03:11,149 of such assorted riffraff as Wyatt Earp, Bat Masterson and Wild Bill Hickok. 24 00:03:11,233 --> 00:03:15,320 Men, who in reality began their careers as evil desperadoes 25 00:03:15,404 --> 00:03:18,740 in total defiance of law and order. 26 00:03:18,824 --> 00:03:20,659 Now if you, uh, fellas would add that up 27 00:03:20,742 --> 00:03:24,329 you'd find that we're about 30% over last month's net. 28 00:03:24,413 --> 00:03:25,706 Which proves again, 29 00:03:25,789 --> 00:03:27,916 that so far, we've just scratched the surface. 30 00:03:27,999 --> 00:03:29,251 Now, I'd say-- 31 00:03:29,334 --> 00:03:31,795 You can take over the Short Horn saloon now, Mr. Roden. 32 00:03:33,046 --> 00:03:37,175 Hammond is quitting business on account of his, uh... health. 33 00:03:37,259 --> 00:03:38,468 Very good, Trigger. 34 00:03:38,552 --> 00:03:41,346 Put a little pressure on them and they fold up like an accordion. 35 00:03:41,430 --> 00:03:44,641 I was just saying, that up to now, things have been pretty good, 36 00:03:44,725 --> 00:03:46,351 but the sky's the limit, 37 00:03:46,435 --> 00:03:48,770 especially with the organization we've got today. 38 00:03:48,854 --> 00:03:51,398 Wyatt Earp in Tombstone. 39 00:03:51,481 --> 00:03:54,651 Bat Masterson in Dodge City. 40 00:03:54,735 --> 00:03:57,404 Wild Bill Hickok in Abilene. 41 00:03:58,071 --> 00:03:59,740 Jesse James in Missouri. 42 00:03:59,823 --> 00:04:01,867 TRIGGER: All that smoke. 43 00:04:01,950 --> 00:04:03,660 [COUGHS] 44 00:04:03,744 --> 00:04:06,997 Billy the Kid in the Dakotas. What are you doing? 45 00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:09,958 -Playing Western Chicken. -Not inside. 46 00:04:10,041 --> 00:04:13,128 Not to mention Johnny Ringo in New Mexico. 47 00:04:13,211 --> 00:04:14,671 Cole Younger in Cripple Creek. 48 00:04:14,755 --> 00:04:18,884 Marshall Quizby Deadwood, makes an even hundred. 49 00:04:18,967 --> 00:04:21,219 -Beats me by two. -Rob Dalton in Nevada. 50 00:04:21,303 --> 00:04:22,471 [CHUCKLES] 51 00:04:22,554 --> 00:04:24,222 Now, the syndicate is cleaning up 52 00:04:24,306 --> 00:04:28,185 in liquor, gambling, and every racket known to man or the devil 53 00:04:28,268 --> 00:04:29,686 but we're gonna do a lot better. 54 00:04:29,770 --> 00:04:31,813 Before we're through, we're gonna take over 55 00:04:31,897 --> 00:04:34,191 every territory west of the Mississippi. 56 00:04:34,274 --> 00:04:36,902 Uh, just how do you aim to go about that? 57 00:04:36,985 --> 00:04:38,862 Get the Indians on the warpath. 58 00:04:38,945 --> 00:04:40,363 I want to see every tribe up in arms 59 00:04:40,447 --> 00:04:43,575 from here to California, and from Canada to the Gulf! 60 00:04:43,658 --> 00:04:45,202 [INDISTINCT CHATTER] 61 00:04:45,285 --> 00:04:47,913 All we have to do is exterminate the buffalo. 62 00:04:47,996 --> 00:04:51,208 With their food supply gone, they'll rise up by the thousands, 63 00:04:51,291 --> 00:04:53,210 mean, fighting-mad, 64 00:04:53,293 --> 00:04:56,046 they'll roll over the Cavalry like a tidal wave. 65 00:04:56,129 --> 00:04:58,799 Once the Cavalry's out of business, we'll take over. 66 00:04:58,882 --> 00:05:01,802 [INDISTINCT CHATTER] 67 00:05:01,885 --> 00:05:03,970 Now go on home and get busy. 68 00:05:04,846 --> 00:05:07,265 Open war on the buffalo. 69 00:05:07,349 --> 00:05:10,310 And if anybody tries to stop us, they're idiots. 70 00:05:11,144 --> 00:05:12,521 Dead idiots. 71 00:05:12,604 --> 00:05:14,231 All right, you idiots, hurry it up. 72 00:05:14,314 --> 00:05:16,608 [£07] 73 00:05:17,484 --> 00:05:18,735 What are you stalling for? 74 00:05:18,819 --> 00:05:20,320 We forgot our gas masks. 75 00:05:20,403 --> 00:05:22,322 Oh, yeah. 76 00:05:23,323 --> 00:05:24,783 Mr. Cab-- 77 00:05:24,866 --> 00:05:26,284 Mr. Cabot'll be awfully angry 78 00:05:26,368 --> 00:05:28,328 if we don't get the magazine off to press today. 79 00:05:28,411 --> 00:05:32,207 And besides, we have to include a picture of Elvis. 80 00:05:33,333 --> 00:05:34,501 Let's go. 81 00:05:34,584 --> 00:05:37,921 Now, don't irritate Elvis. You know what happens. 82 00:05:38,004 --> 00:05:40,757 The last time, he hit me in the back of the neck. 83 00:05:45,887 --> 00:05:47,138 Come on, come on, come on. 84 00:05:47,222 --> 00:05:49,266 Come on, get going, boys. 85 00:05:49,349 --> 00:05:51,059 Come on, come on, get a move on. 86 00:05:51,142 --> 00:05:53,812 -All right, he's heavy. -What do you want? 87 00:05:53,895 --> 00:05:55,814 -Go ahead, go ahead. -Okay, okay. 88 00:05:55,897 --> 00:05:57,023 Slowpoke. 89 00:05:57,107 --> 00:05:59,276 Now, you, you get the picture set for Elvis. 90 00:05:59,359 --> 00:06:01,278 You, get busy. 91 00:06:01,361 --> 00:06:03,280 And be careful. You remember last week? 92 00:06:03,363 --> 00:06:05,907 We had to bury your clothes and you pretty near. 93 00:06:05,991 --> 00:06:07,284 Yeah. 94 00:06:07,367 --> 00:06:08,618 So you watch your P's and Q's, eh? 95 00:06:08,702 --> 00:06:10,370 -Okay. -All right. 96 00:06:11,746 --> 00:06:13,582 Watch out now, he's dangerous. 97 00:06:13,665 --> 00:06:15,375 I don't trust you, either. 98 00:06:15,458 --> 00:06:17,544 All right, Elvis, come on. 99 00:06:17,627 --> 00:06:20,881 Come on out, boy. Come on. Come on. 100 00:06:20,964 --> 00:06:22,173 Come on out here. 101 00:06:22,257 --> 00:06:23,842 [SIGHS] 102 00:06:23,925 --> 00:06:25,302 LARRY: Come on. 103 00:06:25,385 --> 00:06:27,596 [JOE HUMMING] 104 00:06:32,058 --> 00:06:33,310 Hey, Gutenberg. 105 00:06:33,393 --> 00:06:35,312 -Hmm, what's the matter? -Oh! 106 00:06:35,395 --> 00:06:37,147 [LAUGHS] 107 00:06:37,230 --> 00:06:38,315 Always the life of the party. 108 00:06:38,398 --> 00:06:39,733 -Accident. -Give me that! 109 00:06:39,816 --> 00:06:41,192 Here you are, Moe. 110 00:06:43,069 --> 00:06:46,323 -Why, you-- -[GRUNTS] 111 00:06:48,199 --> 00:06:49,451 How do you like that? 112 00:06:49,534 --> 00:06:51,328 Now get over there and help that other imbecile 113 00:06:51,411 --> 00:06:53,914 -take a picture of Elvis. -Oh, all right. 114 00:06:55,832 --> 00:06:57,083 Are you all set, Larry? 115 00:06:57,167 --> 00:06:58,793 I am, but the skunk ain't. 116 00:06:58,877 --> 00:07:00,211 Hey, do me a favor, will you? 117 00:07:00,295 --> 00:07:02,547 Dump him out of the cage while I get the camera set. 118 00:07:02,631 --> 00:07:05,300 Oh, I'm not picking up no skunk's cage, 119 00:07:05,383 --> 00:07:07,093 because he'll give it to me. 120 00:07:07,177 --> 00:07:09,554 And when he gives it to you, you get it good. 121 00:07:09,638 --> 00:07:12,182 Oh, I'll get the camera ready. 122 00:07:12,724 --> 00:07:15,101 [WHISPERS] I'll get the flash powder ready. 123 00:07:19,022 --> 00:07:20,440 [GRUNTING] 124 00:07:31,660 --> 00:07:32,827 How are you coming, Larry? 125 00:07:32,911 --> 00:07:34,287 -LARRY:: Not so good. -Huh? 126 00:07:34,371 --> 00:07:35,664 Ooh. 127 00:07:35,747 --> 00:07:37,165 [MOE SCREAMS] 128 00:07:37,248 --> 00:07:38,541 [JOE AND LARRY GASP AND CHUCKLE] 129 00:07:38,625 --> 00:07:41,044 [MOE YELLING] 130 00:07:41,127 --> 00:07:42,504 Hold it. 131 00:07:42,587 --> 00:07:44,798 [ALL GRUNTING] 132 00:07:48,009 --> 00:07:49,678 -I'm sorry, Moe. -Yeah. 133 00:07:49,761 --> 00:07:52,764 Say, this is gonna be a sensational issue. 134 00:07:52,847 --> 00:07:54,057 It says here, 135 00:07:54,140 --> 00:07:57,310 "Once a hundred million buffalo roamed the West." 136 00:07:57,394 --> 00:07:59,354 Well, what do you know? 137 00:07:59,437 --> 00:08:02,524 "Continued on page three, column four." 138 00:08:02,607 --> 00:08:04,109 [GASPS] 139 00:08:04,192 --> 00:08:08,363 "And they're disappearing at the rate of 5,000 a day." 140 00:08:08,446 --> 00:08:10,198 Tsk, tsk, tsk. 141 00:08:10,281 --> 00:08:13,410 "There's more on column nine, page three." 142 00:08:13,493 --> 00:08:15,787 "AT&T are splitting two for one." 143 00:08:15,870 --> 00:08:17,247 I'll split your head open! 144 00:08:17,330 --> 00:08:19,124 [JOE AND LARRY GROANING AND SCREAMING] 145 00:08:19,207 --> 00:08:20,834 -Leave him alone! -You. Leave you alone? 146 00:08:20,917 --> 00:08:24,004 -I'll tear your hair out! -Boys! Boys, please! 147 00:08:24,838 --> 00:08:26,214 I'm working. 148 00:08:26,297 --> 00:08:29,050 That's all right, you're not bothering us, Mr. Cabot. 149 00:08:29,134 --> 00:08:30,427 [CHUCKLES] 150 00:08:30,510 --> 00:08:33,179 Let me know the minute Mr. Abernathy arrives. 151 00:08:33,263 --> 00:08:35,056 -Sure. Sure will. -Yeah. 152 00:08:35,140 --> 00:08:37,142 Now get over there and take care of the picture. 153 00:08:37,225 --> 00:08:38,435 Come on. Get going there! 154 00:08:38,518 --> 00:08:41,521 Get in there, you murderers. Go ahead. 155 00:08:42,731 --> 00:08:44,441 Come on, Elvis, just one picture 156 00:08:44,524 --> 00:08:47,193 then you can go home as you are, half-safe, 157 00:08:47,277 --> 00:08:48,486 like the other two skunks. 158 00:08:49,237 --> 00:08:51,656 You see, he's stubborn. 159 00:08:51,740 --> 00:08:54,951 Hey, fellas, wait a minute. Wait, wait. 160 00:08:56,286 --> 00:08:59,456 How about trying out my all-purpose hunting horn, huh? 161 00:08:59,539 --> 00:09:00,540 Hunting horn? 162 00:09:00,623 --> 00:09:03,376 That looks like an unborn piccolo. 163 00:09:03,460 --> 00:09:05,295 What do you think you're gonna do with that? 164 00:09:05,378 --> 00:09:08,298 If I can get a moose out of the woods with a moose call, 165 00:09:08,381 --> 00:09:10,592 and a duck in my duck blind with a duck call, 166 00:09:10,675 --> 00:09:14,596 maybe I can get the skunk out of the cage with a skunk call, hmm? 167 00:09:15,180 --> 00:09:20,560 Now, let me see, yesterday with a F sharp in a C major, 168 00:09:20,643 --> 00:09:22,103 I got pigeons. 169 00:09:22,187 --> 00:09:24,856 Uh, this calls for a B flat. 170 00:09:25,690 --> 00:09:26,691 Hmm. 171 00:09:26,775 --> 00:09:29,861 I wonder what Mozart would have done in a situation like this? 172 00:09:29,944 --> 00:09:33,406 I think this calls for a pizzicato fortissimo 173 00:09:33,490 --> 00:09:35,492 with a fast-breaking cadenza. 174 00:09:35,575 --> 00:09:37,202 [CLEARS THROAT] 175 00:09:37,285 --> 00:09:40,205 [PLAYING LOUDLY] 176 00:09:42,123 --> 00:09:43,625 [PIGEONS COO] 177 00:09:45,960 --> 00:09:47,545 That's a fast-blowing cadenza. 178 00:09:47,629 --> 00:09:48,922 I'll fracture your skull. 179 00:09:49,005 --> 00:09:50,840 -Come on, come on. -Out, out, out. 180 00:09:50,924 --> 00:09:52,509 Yeah, I know the trouble, I know the trouble. 181 00:09:52,592 --> 00:09:54,511 Too much pizza in my pizzicato. 182 00:09:54,594 --> 00:09:56,763 -Oh. -Try it again. Yeah, I know now. 183 00:09:56,846 --> 00:09:58,598 [PLAYING LOUDLY] 184 00:10:01,518 --> 00:10:03,770 [DOGS BARKING] 185 00:10:03,853 --> 00:10:06,481 -ABERNATHY: Mr. Cabot! -Mr. Abernathy! 186 00:10:09,526 --> 00:10:10,610 Mr. Abernathy! 187 00:10:10,693 --> 00:10:14,197 Help! Mr. Cabot! Help! 188 00:10:15,657 --> 00:10:18,076 MOE: Take it easy, Mr. Abernathy. Easy, now. 189 00:10:18,159 --> 00:10:19,744 Everything will be all right, Mr. Abernathy. 190 00:10:19,828 --> 00:10:20,995 Here, get out of there! 191 00:10:21,079 --> 00:10:22,497 Don't you dare touch Mr. Abernathy. 192 00:10:22,580 --> 00:10:23,832 Now you leave Mr. Abernathy alone. 193 00:10:23,915 --> 00:10:25,750 Get out of here. What did I tell you? 194 00:10:25,834 --> 00:10:27,252 Right out this way, Mr. Abernathy. 195 00:10:27,335 --> 00:10:30,213 Let go of me! Get your hands off me. Get away from me. 196 00:10:30,296 --> 00:10:32,423 Mr. Abernathy. 197 00:10:32,507 --> 00:10:34,551 -Hey. -Oh, Mr. Abernathy, I-- 198 00:10:34,634 --> 00:10:36,219 What's going on around here? 199 00:10:36,302 --> 00:10:40,140 Uh, we're just, uh, getting the magazine out, sir, 200 00:10:40,223 --> 00:10:44,269 with another hard-hitting editorial on the slaughter of the buffalo. 201 00:10:44,352 --> 00:10:46,354 Editorials aren't enough, Cabot! 202 00:10:46,437 --> 00:10:48,857 I had a meeting with our directors last night at dinner. 203 00:10:48,940 --> 00:10:52,986 We arranged to have you sent out west to look into this thing. 204 00:10:53,069 --> 00:10:55,655 M-Me? Uh... [CLEARS THROAT] 205 00:10:55,738 --> 00:10:58,616 I mean, me, way out west? 206 00:10:58,700 --> 00:11:00,368 That's what I said. 207 00:11:00,451 --> 00:11:02,662 I've already arranged to have your press sent to Wyoming. 208 00:11:02,745 --> 00:11:04,914 Come here, take a look. 209 00:11:04,998 --> 00:11:06,374 Now, do you know what that is? 210 00:11:06,457 --> 00:11:09,377 A buffalo census chart. Look at that. 211 00:11:09,460 --> 00:11:10,920 You see that line? 212 00:11:11,004 --> 00:11:14,883 That thing is trying to get right down into the basement. 213 00:11:14,966 --> 00:11:16,718 And that is a deep cellar. 214 00:11:16,801 --> 00:11:18,469 Give me another chance. 215 00:11:18,553 --> 00:11:20,680 I know I can doit. I got it in there. 216 00:11:20,763 --> 00:11:21,931 I just gotta get it out. 217 00:11:22,015 --> 00:11:24,434 Unless preventive measures are taken at once, 218 00:11:24,517 --> 00:11:27,395 in 10 years, there won't be a single buffalo left 219 00:11:27,478 --> 00:11:29,647 on the whole continent of North America. 220 00:11:29,731 --> 00:11:31,774 There's no two ways about it, you've gotta go to Wyoming. 221 00:11:31,858 --> 00:11:33,026 Immediately. 222 00:11:33,109 --> 00:11:35,361 -Give me an A, Moe. TAT 223 00:11:38,489 --> 00:11:39,741 [PLAYING] 224 00:11:42,493 --> 00:11:44,662 [SNIFFING] 225 00:11:59,427 --> 00:12:00,845 I knew I could do it. 226 00:12:00,929 --> 00:12:02,805 All I needed was a reverse cadenza. 227 00:12:02,889 --> 00:12:04,933 Keep him in the mood, Joe. 228 00:12:07,518 --> 00:12:09,187 Did I? 229 00:12:09,270 --> 00:12:12,065 Well, it's better to be half-safe than half-sure. 230 00:12:18,488 --> 00:12:20,949 Oh, that's beautiful, Elvis. 231 00:12:22,242 --> 00:12:23,409 [SIGHS] 232 00:12:27,997 --> 00:12:30,375 -Ready, Larry? -Light her up! 233 00:12:38,174 --> 00:12:39,342 Mr. Cabot! 234 00:12:39,425 --> 00:12:41,928 -Mr. Cabot! -Mr. Cabot! 235 00:12:42,011 --> 00:12:44,597 -Mr. Cabot! Just a minute, Mr. Cabot! -[CABOT GROANING] 236 00:12:44,681 --> 00:12:48,142 -Take it easy. -Oh, what happened? 237 00:12:48,226 --> 00:12:50,645 That's what we're trying to find out. 238 00:12:50,728 --> 00:12:53,147 -All right? -What am I doing on this moose? 239 00:12:58,987 --> 00:13:02,490 Cabot, this is the last straw! 240 00:13:02,573 --> 00:13:05,952 I want these rogues dismissed immediately. 241 00:13:06,035 --> 00:13:10,832 But, Mr. Abernathy, I'm sure the whole thing was unavoidable. 242 00:13:10,915 --> 00:13:12,292 Makes no difference. 243 00:13:12,375 --> 00:13:16,379 I don't want them around here, and that's final. 244 00:13:17,922 --> 00:13:20,133 -You understand? -Yeah. 245 00:13:20,216 --> 00:13:23,011 You can take them out west with you, if you wish. 246 00:13:23,094 --> 00:13:24,554 I-- I can? 247 00:13:24,637 --> 00:13:26,848 But don't bring them back! 248 00:13:26,931 --> 00:13:29,017 Uh, yes, sir. Yes, sir. 249 00:13:29,100 --> 00:13:31,311 What is this about "out west"? 250 00:13:31,394 --> 00:13:33,313 Well, you see, 251 00:13:33,396 --> 00:13:35,815 Mr. Abernathy's sending me out to Wyoming 252 00:13:35,898 --> 00:13:39,944 to try to do something about the vanishing buffalo herds. 253 00:13:40,028 --> 00:13:42,405 And I'm afraid... Uh, that is, 254 00:13:42,488 --> 00:13:44,949 I'm afraid that you're gonna have to go with me. 255 00:13:45,033 --> 00:13:47,618 -Not me. -Uh, if you wanna keep your jobs. 256 00:13:47,702 --> 00:13:49,620 No, no, not me in Wyoming. 257 00:13:49,704 --> 00:13:51,914 It's full of gunslingers, Gila monsters, 258 00:13:51,998 --> 00:13:53,791 rattlesnakes and Indians. 259 00:13:53,875 --> 00:13:57,086 Yeah. And besides, it's against our religion. 260 00:13:57,170 --> 00:13:58,880 Yeah, we're devout cowards. 261 00:13:58,963 --> 00:14:00,381 [LAUGHS] 262 00:14:00,465 --> 00:14:01,924 Do you mean to say 263 00:14:02,008 --> 00:14:05,845 that you would let Mr. Cabot face all these dangers alone? 264 00:14:05,928 --> 00:14:07,347 JOE AND LARRY: Yes! 265 00:14:08,639 --> 00:14:10,558 -[BOTH GRUNT] -What's the matter with you? 266 00:14:10,641 --> 00:14:12,977 Wyoming, here we come. 267 00:14:13,061 --> 00:14:14,771 We're on our way west. 268 00:14:14,854 --> 00:14:17,774 Way out west where the air is fresh and pure, 269 00:14:17,857 --> 00:14:21,277 scented with the aroma of purple sage. 270 00:14:21,361 --> 00:14:23,404 [ALL SNIFFING] LARRY: Hmm? 271 00:14:25,156 --> 00:14:27,575 Watch it. Fellas, watch it. Watch it. 272 00:14:27,658 --> 00:14:29,660 -He's getting ready, he's aiming. -LARRY: He's gonna... 273 00:14:30,453 --> 00:14:32,330 Put that down, you! 274 00:14:36,667 --> 00:14:39,921 We should be in Wyoming this afternoon. 275 00:14:40,004 --> 00:14:43,424 Only 2 months and 20 days out of Boston. 276 00:14:48,638 --> 00:14:50,681 Not a sign of buffalo. 277 00:14:53,393 --> 00:14:55,728 Looks pretty bad, boys. 278 00:14:55,812 --> 00:14:58,147 -Hey, Paderewski. -Yeah? 279 00:14:58,231 --> 00:15:00,566 Why don't you try to whip up a buffalo call? 280 00:15:00,650 --> 00:15:01,943 Yeah. 281 00:15:02,026 --> 00:15:05,029 It worked with Elvis. Maybe I can stir up a few. 282 00:15:05,113 --> 00:15:07,323 Yeah, you stir them up and then you drive them away 283 00:15:07,407 --> 00:15:08,825 with those screechy notes. 284 00:15:08,908 --> 00:15:11,702 Jealousy'll get you nowhere. Listen. 285 00:15:11,786 --> 00:15:13,413 [PLAYING LOUDLY] 286 00:15:18,835 --> 00:15:20,711 Hey, fellas, look! 287 00:15:20,795 --> 00:15:22,588 [£07] 288 00:15:26,008 --> 00:15:28,803 JOE: They're beautiful, beautiful. 289 00:15:29,554 --> 00:15:30,888 Buffalo! 290 00:15:30,972 --> 00:15:34,434 I told you. I told you, with the right kind of pizzicato, 291 00:15:34,517 --> 00:15:37,603 this horn will lure any animal there is. 292 00:15:37,687 --> 00:15:39,230 -Any animal? -Yep. 293 00:15:39,313 --> 00:15:40,648 You talk like an idiot. 294 00:15:40,731 --> 00:15:42,316 Then you understand me. 295 00:15:42,400 --> 00:15:46,070 Well, now that we've finally arrived on the lawless frontier, 296 00:15:46,154 --> 00:15:48,573 I think we should be prepared. 297 00:15:49,240 --> 00:15:50,992 Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa! 298 00:15:51,075 --> 00:15:52,368 [YELLS] 299 00:15:52,452 --> 00:15:55,496 Oh, it's okay, boys. It's not loaded. 300 00:15:57,123 --> 00:15:58,749 Oh, Mr. Cabot, please, please. 301 00:15:58,833 --> 00:16:01,627 In the chamber. Here. Let me show you, please. 302 00:16:01,711 --> 00:16:03,212 There we are. Yeah. 303 00:16:03,296 --> 00:16:04,839 Moe knows all about it. 304 00:16:04,922 --> 00:16:07,675 Yeah, you see, uh, you open the side door here 305 00:16:07,758 --> 00:16:09,260 and you put it in these windows here. 306 00:16:09,343 --> 00:16:10,845 -Yeah. -Those little windows there. 307 00:16:10,928 --> 00:16:13,264 Right down there. There. 308 00:16:13,347 --> 00:16:14,974 -That's it. See? -[GUNSHOT] 309 00:16:15,057 --> 00:16:16,058 [ALL GASP] 310 00:16:16,142 --> 00:16:18,352 Oh. Whoo-hoo-hoo. 311 00:16:22,356 --> 00:16:25,318 CABOT: Whoa, honey, whoa. Whoa, honey. 312 00:16:25,401 --> 00:16:28,696 "Entering Casper. At your own risk"? 313 00:16:29,822 --> 00:16:32,033 Well, I wouldn't worry about that, boys, 314 00:16:32,116 --> 00:16:35,286 the west is really known for its friendliness. 315 00:16:35,369 --> 00:16:37,705 That don't look very friendly to me. 316 00:16:38,915 --> 00:16:40,708 [£07] 317 00:16:57,767 --> 00:16:59,310 CABOT: Giddap, partner. 318 00:17:01,604 --> 00:17:03,940 [GUNFIRE] 319 00:17:06,526 --> 00:17:08,444 What's today? The 17th. 320 00:17:08,528 --> 00:17:11,781 Right on schedule. Hey, fellas, look. 321 00:17:26,671 --> 00:17:31,634 MOE: "Sheriff wanted. No experience necessary"? Whew. 322 00:17:31,717 --> 00:17:34,178 Boy, they really got a handy arrangement here. 323 00:17:34,262 --> 00:17:37,473 Are you still gonna stay here? Ken! 324 00:17:37,557 --> 00:17:39,350 -Who, me? -Yeah. 325 00:17:40,601 --> 00:17:43,980 Well, yes. Yes, I suppose I must. 326 00:17:45,022 --> 00:17:46,857 -So am I. -Me too. 327 00:17:46,941 --> 00:17:49,318 Well, if you're gonna stay here 328 00:17:49,402 --> 00:17:51,362 and you two guys are gonna stay here, 329 00:17:51,445 --> 00:17:52,822 there's only one thing I can say. 330 00:17:52,905 --> 00:17:54,240 What's that? 331 00:17:54,323 --> 00:17:56,450 -Good luck. -You would! 332 00:17:56,534 --> 00:17:57,827 Come on here. 333 00:17:57,910 --> 00:18:00,246 Well, if we intend to find out what's going on, 334 00:18:00,329 --> 00:18:02,373 I guess the saloon is the best place to get started. 335 00:18:02,456 --> 00:18:05,835 -I'd say so. -JOE: Yeah. Let's give it a try. 336 00:18:13,301 --> 00:18:16,887 MAN: J Three blind mice Three blind mice & 337 00:18:16,971 --> 00:18:21,309 J They all ran after the farmer's wife They all ran after the farmer's wife & 338 00:18:27,023 --> 00:18:29,525 J Three blind mice Three blind mice & 339 00:18:29,609 --> 00:18:30,943 A Japanese Beatle? 340 00:18:32,069 --> 00:18:33,487 Hey, boys. 341 00:18:39,410 --> 00:18:42,913 Top prices plus a bounty for buffalo hides. 342 00:18:42,997 --> 00:18:46,334 Why, this is the most outrageous thing I've ever heard of. 343 00:18:46,417 --> 00:18:48,419 Who's responsible for this? 344 00:18:48,502 --> 00:18:50,463 -Yeah. -I demand to see him at once. 345 00:18:50,546 --> 00:18:54,925 Well, uh, I'd be happy to arrange that for you, stranger. 346 00:18:55,009 --> 00:18:57,136 -Rance. -Was he the man-- 347 00:18:57,219 --> 00:19:00,514 -Never mind who the man responsible is. -What's the trouble, Trigger? 348 00:19:00,598 --> 00:19:03,434 Well, this gentleman seems to be taking objection 349 00:19:03,517 --> 00:19:05,603 to something that we're carrying on our poster. 350 00:19:05,686 --> 00:19:07,897 Oh? Who might you be? 351 00:19:07,980 --> 00:19:11,150 Kenneth Cabot from Boston, Massachusetts, sir. 352 00:19:11,233 --> 00:19:12,902 And these are my friends. 353 00:19:12,985 --> 00:19:15,029 I must protest this sacrilege. 354 00:19:15,112 --> 00:19:16,989 Do you not know that the buffalo 355 00:19:17,073 --> 00:19:19,950 is the most noble of native beasts remaining on this continent, 356 00:19:20,034 --> 00:19:22,078 and that we are here for the express purpose 357 00:19:22,161 --> 00:19:23,704 of saving them from extinction? 358 00:19:23,788 --> 00:19:25,247 What'd he say? 359 00:19:25,331 --> 00:19:27,375 -Quiet, you imbecile. -[GRUNTS] 360 00:19:27,458 --> 00:19:28,959 Why, you buttinsky. 361 00:19:29,043 --> 00:19:30,753 No, no, no, take it easy. Take it easy. 362 00:19:30,836 --> 00:19:32,838 Now, we can settle this quietly. 363 00:19:32,922 --> 00:19:35,257 First, gentlemen, I'm Rance Roden. 364 00:19:35,341 --> 00:19:37,343 I kind of run things around here. 365 00:19:37,426 --> 00:19:40,596 This is my partner, Trigger Mortis. 366 00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:43,432 Now, like gentlemen, why don't we step inside 367 00:19:43,516 --> 00:19:44,809 and have one on the house. 368 00:19:44,892 --> 00:19:47,603 -Mighty nice of you, stranger. -Real western hospitality. 369 00:19:47,687 --> 00:19:49,188 Yes, sir. 370 00:19:51,148 --> 00:19:52,149 Thanks. 371 00:19:56,654 --> 00:20:00,866 Find out who's behind that dude, and we'll take it from there. 372 00:20:17,049 --> 00:20:18,134 [SCOFFS] 373 00:20:20,720 --> 00:20:23,556 [£07] 374 00:21:07,683 --> 00:21:09,643 [MAN WHISTLES] 375 00:21:21,572 --> 00:21:22,948 [GRUNTS] 376 00:21:24,533 --> 00:21:26,160 [HORSE SNORTS] 377 00:21:39,840 --> 00:21:41,175 [GRUNTS] 378 00:21:43,219 --> 00:21:44,470 [HORSE WHINNIES] 379 00:21:44,553 --> 00:21:46,222 [GUNFIRE] 380 00:21:46,305 --> 00:21:48,265 [GASPING] 381 00:21:48,349 --> 00:21:51,227 It's all right, sonny, it's only Annie Oakley! 382 00:21:52,853 --> 00:21:54,104 Annie Oakley? 383 00:21:54,188 --> 00:21:55,856 [PEOPLE APPLAUDING] 384 00:22:17,795 --> 00:22:19,296 Oh, pardon me, sir. 385 00:22:19,380 --> 00:22:21,799 -Oh, hello, Moe. [CHUCKLES] -You clumsy idiot. 386 00:22:21,882 --> 00:22:22,967 [GRUNTS] 387 00:22:23,050 --> 00:22:24,885 -Leave him alone. -[GRUNTS] 388 00:22:24,969 --> 00:22:27,346 ANNIE: And I told Rance Roden again and again 389 00:22:27,429 --> 00:22:31,517 that the one thing I can't stand in this place is... 390 00:22:31,600 --> 00:22:32,601 tassels. 391 00:22:32,685 --> 00:22:36,647 And I aim to get rid of them the hard way. 392 00:22:38,566 --> 00:22:41,110 [PEOPLE CLAMORING AND APPLAUDING] 393 00:22:41,193 --> 00:22:42,278 [GROANS] 394 00:22:42,361 --> 00:22:44,238 [PEOPLE LAUGHING AND CHEERING] 395 00:22:45,322 --> 00:22:47,491 Another tassel and it's gotta go! 396 00:22:47,575 --> 00:22:50,870 And I think I'll just save him another trip to the barber 397 00:22:50,953 --> 00:22:52,496 with my famous slow bullet. 398 00:22:52,580 --> 00:22:54,206 And while we're all waiting, 399 00:22:54,290 --> 00:22:57,293 I'll just put a little silver dollar down on number 40. 400 00:22:57,376 --> 00:22:59,003 Everybody ready? 401 00:23:05,885 --> 00:23:08,053 [PEOPLE LAUGHING AND APPLAUDING] 402 00:23:22,860 --> 00:23:24,486 In my account. 403 00:23:24,570 --> 00:23:25,946 [PEOPLE CHATTERING] 404 00:23:27,239 --> 00:23:30,951 Nice going, Annie. She never misses. 405 00:23:31,035 --> 00:23:33,746 -Do you, doll? -Gentlemen. 406 00:23:41,837 --> 00:23:45,215 Who's the good-looking stranger with the busy eyes? 407 00:23:45,299 --> 00:23:47,301 Some pencil-neck from back east, 408 00:23:47,384 --> 00:23:49,803 out here trying to tell us how to run our business. 409 00:23:49,887 --> 00:23:52,932 Sweetheart, I've been thinking about you all day. 410 00:23:58,187 --> 00:24:01,148 [PEOPLE CHEERING AND APPLAUDING] 411 00:24:07,488 --> 00:24:09,698 A buffalo contest! 412 00:24:11,533 --> 00:24:14,620 Why, this is contemptible! Inhuman! 413 00:24:14,703 --> 00:24:16,413 I'm warning you, sir, 414 00:24:16,497 --> 00:24:19,249 if this shameful practice isn't stopped immediately, 415 00:24:19,333 --> 00:24:21,418 I shall wire full details to my employers, 416 00:24:21,502 --> 00:24:23,420 the Society for the Protection of American Wildlife. 417 00:24:23,504 --> 00:24:24,546 I'll be back. 418 00:24:24,630 --> 00:24:27,508 -CABOT: And the United States government! -[PEOPLE CLAMORING] 419 00:24:28,634 --> 00:24:31,595 Something bothering you, Mr. Cabot? 420 00:24:31,679 --> 00:24:34,348 Indeed there is, Mr. Roden. 421 00:24:34,431 --> 00:24:36,141 I'll wager that this contest 422 00:24:36,225 --> 00:24:38,686 is exactly what's causing the bad feeling among the Indians, 423 00:24:39,520 --> 00:24:42,606 and it may very well send them on the warpath. 424 00:24:47,403 --> 00:24:49,697 Now, if we don't kill off them buffalo... 425 00:24:52,282 --> 00:24:56,286 they're gonna eat up all the range grass west of the Mississippi. 426 00:24:57,413 --> 00:25:00,332 I hardly think that's possible, sir. 427 00:25:00,416 --> 00:25:03,293 Now, no eastern pantywaist is gonna waltz in here 428 00:25:03,377 --> 00:25:04,920 and call me a liar. 429 00:25:08,132 --> 00:25:09,299 Draw! 430 00:25:09,383 --> 00:25:11,885 Now, just a minute, this man is unarmed. 431 00:25:13,387 --> 00:25:14,972 [£07] 432 00:25:20,102 --> 00:25:21,520 [GRUNTS] 433 00:25:25,232 --> 00:25:30,446 Now, when I count to three, you be ready to use that piece. 434 00:25:34,283 --> 00:25:35,492 One... 435 00:25:40,205 --> 00:25:41,206 two... 436 00:25:46,837 --> 00:25:48,172 three! 437 00:25:48,255 --> 00:25:49,631 [GRUNTS] 438 00:25:49,715 --> 00:25:51,383 [INDISTINCT CHATTER] 439 00:26:00,851 --> 00:26:02,352 Good shooting, Mr. Cabot. 440 00:26:02,436 --> 00:26:04,021 Oh, that was wonderful, wonderful. 441 00:26:04,104 --> 00:26:07,274 Yeah, you're gonna do all right. Boy. 442 00:26:07,357 --> 00:26:09,193 As one expert to another, stranger, 443 00:26:09,276 --> 00:26:12,237 that was dang good shooting. 444 00:26:12,321 --> 00:26:14,114 Attention, everybody, attention! 445 00:26:14,198 --> 00:26:17,367 Now, we all know it takes a powerful gun 446 00:26:17,451 --> 00:26:19,912 to maintain law and order here in Casper. 447 00:26:19,995 --> 00:26:22,539 And, uh, the shooting exhibition I just saw, 448 00:26:22,623 --> 00:26:25,793 which is about the best I have ever seen, 449 00:26:25,876 --> 00:26:29,213 makes me want to nominate Mr. Kenneth Cabot 450 00:26:29,296 --> 00:26:30,964 for our next sheriff. 451 00:26:31,048 --> 00:26:33,300 And his three friends can be the deputies. 452 00:26:33,383 --> 00:26:35,094 [PEOPLE APPLAUDING] 453 00:26:36,512 --> 00:26:37,888 Here you are, Mr. Cabot, 454 00:26:37,971 --> 00:26:40,057 still warm from the last sheriff. 455 00:26:40,140 --> 00:26:41,183 Good luck. 456 00:26:41,266 --> 00:26:44,228 And good luck to you gentlemen. 457 00:26:44,311 --> 00:26:45,395 -Thank you. -Thank you. 458 00:26:45,479 --> 00:26:47,356 -Hey, Moe. Moe. -Oh, please, please. 459 00:26:47,439 --> 00:26:49,191 Hey, we're in town only an hour. 460 00:26:49,274 --> 00:26:50,734 -Hey, Moe. -What's the matter? 461 00:26:50,818 --> 00:26:52,486 And they already made us deputies. 462 00:26:52,569 --> 00:26:55,656 -Moe, this is important. -What do you want? 463 00:26:55,739 --> 00:26:59,076 -What's the date tomorrow? -The 18th. 464 00:26:59,159 --> 00:27:00,202 [MOE AND LARRY GASP] 465 00:27:00,285 --> 00:27:01,787 MOE AND LARRY: The 18th! 466 00:27:05,707 --> 00:27:08,502 Hey, who sent for the Smiley Brothers? 467 00:27:08,585 --> 00:27:10,129 Hey, you guys are a day early. 468 00:27:10,212 --> 00:27:11,964 Why don't you take it easy? 469 00:27:13,674 --> 00:27:15,259 [£07] 470 00:27:17,928 --> 00:27:19,513 [GUNFIRE] 471 00:27:57,259 --> 00:27:58,552 Okay, boys, 472 00:27:58,635 --> 00:28:00,846 if you'll start distributing those leaflets to the saloon, 473 00:28:00,929 --> 00:28:03,140 I'll get these bundles off to the other communities. 474 00:28:03,223 --> 00:28:04,349 Right. 475 00:28:04,433 --> 00:28:06,476 -Oh, I'm sorry. -Oh, good morning, Sheriff. 476 00:28:06,560 --> 00:28:08,562 You know, the sheriff was on his way to the Post Office. 477 00:28:08,645 --> 00:28:10,314 If you happen to be going that way. 478 00:28:10,397 --> 00:28:12,191 Oh, sure. Here, let me help you. 479 00:28:12,274 --> 00:28:15,485 Oh, oh, no thanks, ma'am. I'll manage just fine. 480 00:28:15,569 --> 00:28:17,070 [£07] 481 00:28:21,992 --> 00:28:24,036 Well, I guess he's just not interested in her. 482 00:28:24,119 --> 00:28:25,829 And after she saved his life. 483 00:28:25,913 --> 00:28:27,497 And we can't tell him, either. 484 00:28:27,581 --> 00:28:30,042 It's a shame, she'd be a nice girl for him... 485 00:28:30,125 --> 00:28:32,044 if she was more of a lady. 486 00:28:32,127 --> 00:28:33,420 Yeah. 487 00:28:33,503 --> 00:28:36,048 Too bad he can't give her a little that he's got. 488 00:28:36,131 --> 00:28:37,382 Like class? 489 00:28:37,466 --> 00:28:39,426 And she could give him a little that she's got, 490 00:28:39,509 --> 00:28:41,511 -and don't need... -Like courage! 491 00:28:41,595 --> 00:28:43,472 Then we'd have a man's man. 492 00:28:43,555 --> 00:28:45,224 -And a man's woman t0o0. -Yeah. 493 00:28:45,307 --> 00:28:47,809 -I'd better start... -Yes, let's go. 494 00:28:51,605 --> 00:28:55,275 Hi, sonny. You look like you can read. 495 00:28:55,359 --> 00:28:57,653 You look like a jackass. 496 00:28:58,820 --> 00:29:01,198 Why, that... 497 00:29:01,281 --> 00:29:04,743 There's only one thing I'd ask for if I had to tangle with that guy. 498 00:29:04,826 --> 00:29:06,078 You mean a fair fight? 499 00:29:06,161 --> 00:29:07,955 No, I mean a head start. [LAUGHS] 500 00:29:08,038 --> 00:29:09,456 Come on! 501 00:29:11,708 --> 00:29:13,502 -Go ahead! Read all about it. -Yeah. 502 00:29:13,585 --> 00:29:16,088 -Save the buffalo from extinction. -There you are, buddy boy. 503 00:29:16,171 --> 00:29:19,049 Take some of those pamphlets for your friends. 504 00:29:20,968 --> 00:29:22,511 Whiskey. 505 00:29:25,222 --> 00:29:26,890 Leave the bottle. 506 00:29:26,974 --> 00:29:28,433 I'll have a coke. 507 00:29:28,517 --> 00:29:29,810 And leave the bottle. 508 00:29:29,893 --> 00:29:32,437 Give him a Tarantula Fizz. 509 00:29:32,521 --> 00:29:34,815 Ignore him. I want a coke. 510 00:29:36,149 --> 00:29:37,526 [CLEARS THROAT] 511 00:29:37,609 --> 00:29:39,945 Well, what's holding up my Tarantula Fizz? 512 00:29:40,028 --> 00:29:41,321 Come, come, my man. Come, come. 513 00:29:41,405 --> 00:29:42,447 [LAUGHS] 514 00:29:42,531 --> 00:29:43,824 Put two tarantulas in mine. 515 00:29:50,455 --> 00:29:52,165 Bourbon, one-day-old. 516 00:29:56,920 --> 00:29:58,213 "Tek-ila"? 517 00:29:58,297 --> 00:30:00,132 Sounds like an internal hotfoot. 518 00:30:00,215 --> 00:30:01,216 Who knows? 519 00:30:05,846 --> 00:30:07,431 Fresh gin. 520 00:30:20,694 --> 00:30:23,572 Don't forget the, uh, cactus twist. 521 00:30:26,325 --> 00:30:27,993 [THUNDER CRASHES] 522 00:30:39,338 --> 00:30:41,590 That's that cactus doing the twist, I think. 523 00:30:55,520 --> 00:30:56,605 Drink up. 524 00:30:57,606 --> 00:30:58,899 Do I have to? 525 00:31:00,442 --> 00:31:03,278 Yeah, I have to. [GROANS] 526 00:31:09,451 --> 00:31:10,952 [GASPING] 527 00:31:19,920 --> 00:31:21,380 How is it, Moe? 528 00:31:21,463 --> 00:31:23,423 [MUMBLES] They watered it. 529 00:31:23,507 --> 00:31:25,759 Oh, ha-ha, well, if it's watered, 530 00:31:25,842 --> 00:31:27,260 No use me... 531 00:31:28,720 --> 00:31:29,888 Here's looking at you. 532 00:31:35,477 --> 00:31:37,104 [SPUTTERS] 533 00:31:47,197 --> 00:31:48,782 It is watered. 534 00:31:48,865 --> 00:31:50,158 Short life. 535 00:31:52,160 --> 00:31:54,621 You said it! Short life, chum. 536 00:31:54,704 --> 00:31:57,124 BARTENDER: Hey, hey, wait a minute, wait a minute. 537 00:31:57,207 --> 00:31:58,834 -Hey, you, come here. -Me? 538 00:31:58,917 --> 00:32:00,419 Yeah, you, come here. 539 00:32:00,502 --> 00:32:02,295 I notice you're wearing a Colt. 540 00:32:02,379 --> 00:32:04,297 -Oh, yeah. -I happen to handle the line, 541 00:32:04,381 --> 00:32:05,674 so I hope you don't mind my asking, 542 00:32:05,757 --> 00:32:08,802 how do you like our gun compared with the... [CUCKOO SOUND]? 543 00:32:08,885 --> 00:32:10,470 Oh, very much. 544 00:32:10,554 --> 00:32:12,097 Since I've been using the Colt, 545 00:32:12,180 --> 00:32:15,225 I get four out of five bull's-eyes, but with... [CUCKOO SOUND] 546 00:32:15,308 --> 00:32:16,726 I'm lucky if I get two. 547 00:32:18,645 --> 00:32:20,355 Hey, Joe, you wearing a Colt? 548 00:32:20,439 --> 00:32:22,482 No, I got a horse pistol. 549 00:32:22,566 --> 00:32:24,317 I raised it from a Colt. 550 00:32:24,401 --> 00:32:27,070 [LAUGHING] 551 00:32:27,154 --> 00:32:28,363 [COUGHS] 552 00:32:29,197 --> 00:32:32,409 You know, these guys are... [CUCKOO SOUNDS] 553 00:32:32,492 --> 00:32:35,120 Pretty bad situation, eh? 554 00:32:35,203 --> 00:32:38,206 We figure we're doing the community a big favor. 555 00:32:38,290 --> 00:32:39,916 -You said it, mister. -Yeah. 556 00:32:40,000 --> 00:32:42,377 And I'm gonna do the community an even bigger favor. 557 00:32:42,461 --> 00:32:44,754 -Oh, he's a nice fella. -Yeah. 558 00:32:44,838 --> 00:32:47,466 Hey, wait, easy, easy now. Take it easy. 559 00:32:47,549 --> 00:32:50,093 MOE: Uh, uh, look. Easy now. 560 00:32:50,177 --> 00:32:52,220 I thought you were gonna do good for the community. 561 00:32:52,304 --> 00:32:54,055 -Yeah. -I am. 562 00:32:54,139 --> 00:32:55,307 You are? 563 00:32:55,390 --> 00:32:56,808 LARRY: Whoa! 564 00:32:58,185 --> 00:32:59,936 Now, I'm warning you. 565 00:33:00,020 --> 00:33:02,481 That was a fella that I've known for many, many years, 566 00:33:02,564 --> 00:33:03,899 you better watch your step. 567 00:33:03,982 --> 00:33:07,277 Hey, hey, hey. Whoa, whoa. Hold it now. 568 00:33:08,445 --> 00:33:11,490 [LAUGHS] What are you sweating about, buddy boy? 569 00:33:11,573 --> 00:33:13,575 You been working hard or something? They're my-- 570 00:33:13,658 --> 00:33:16,620 -Hey, watch it-- -Get out of here! 571 00:33:19,581 --> 00:33:21,958 -The nerve that guy's got. -Give the horses a drink. 572 00:33:22,042 --> 00:33:23,293 Here you are, baby. 573 00:33:23,376 --> 00:33:25,378 [HORSE WHINNIES] 574 00:33:26,087 --> 00:33:27,881 Annie, honey, I can't make you out. 575 00:33:27,964 --> 00:33:30,884 Now, first you wanted to wait until the summer to get hitched. 576 00:33:30,967 --> 00:33:32,969 Now you're trying to stall till the first of the year! 577 00:33:33,053 --> 00:33:36,515 Oh, I suppose that's the nature of women to be ornery, Rance, 578 00:33:36,598 --> 00:33:38,308 especially us blondes. 579 00:33:38,391 --> 00:33:40,977 Rance, that pesky new sheriff-- 580 00:33:41,061 --> 00:33:43,271 Oh, uh, pardon me. 581 00:33:43,355 --> 00:33:46,316 That's all right, Trigger, but next time, knock. 582 00:33:46,399 --> 00:33:47,943 -Annie. -I know. 583 00:33:48,026 --> 00:33:50,403 I know a business meeting, gentlemen. 584 00:33:50,487 --> 00:33:52,739 I bid you adios. 585 00:33:53,406 --> 00:33:55,242 Well? 586 00:33:55,325 --> 00:34:00,038 That new sheriff's got those three idiots passing these out these out all over town. 587 00:34:00,121 --> 00:34:01,581 "Save the buffalo." 588 00:34:01,665 --> 00:34:03,500 Listen, Cabot's getting too big for his breeches. 589 00:34:03,583 --> 00:34:05,168 You gotta stop him, Rance. 590 00:34:05,919 --> 00:34:08,296 What's stopping you from stopping him? 591 00:34:10,674 --> 00:34:11,841 I gotcha. 592 00:34:11,925 --> 00:34:14,844 And I know how to do that for permanent. 593 00:34:26,106 --> 00:34:28,567 [GUNFIRE] 594 00:34:40,996 --> 00:34:42,914 -Wow. -What a blast. 595 00:34:45,292 --> 00:34:47,127 Oh! Watch that light, they might come back. 596 00:34:47,210 --> 00:34:48,336 Oh, I doubt that. 597 00:34:48,420 --> 00:34:51,756 They think they've blown the whole kit and caboodle of you to Kingdom Come. 598 00:34:51,840 --> 00:34:53,133 It's a good thing you warned us. 599 00:34:53,216 --> 00:34:55,927 Otherwise they'd be sweeping us up right now. 600 00:34:56,011 --> 00:34:57,804 Well, obviously Roden's determined 601 00:34:57,887 --> 00:35:01,933 to put us out of business by fair means or foul. 602 00:35:02,017 --> 00:35:03,893 But why? 603 00:35:03,977 --> 00:35:07,397 He knows this buffalo slaughter is infuriating the Indians. 604 00:35:08,940 --> 00:35:11,359 I wonder... [CHUCKLES] 605 00:35:11,818 --> 00:35:15,155 -No, no, no. -Uh, don't be too sure, Sheriff. 606 00:35:15,697 --> 00:35:18,950 A little bird told me that the tribes are planning a big powwow 607 00:35:19,034 --> 00:35:20,118 in the hills tomorrow, 608 00:35:20,201 --> 00:35:22,954 and they ain't all gonna be Indians, either. 609 00:35:23,038 --> 00:35:24,205 Where in the hills? 610 00:35:24,289 --> 00:35:26,875 At Bald Knob, their secret meeting place. 611 00:35:26,958 --> 00:35:30,795 Maybe if we mosey up there, we'll get the lowdown. 612 00:35:30,879 --> 00:35:32,631 CABOT: Hey, that's a good idea, fellas. 613 00:35:32,714 --> 00:35:36,343 You go ahead up to Bald Knob and I'll stay here and crank out leaflets. 614 00:35:36,426 --> 00:35:38,762 It could be just as dangerous right here. 615 00:35:38,845 --> 00:35:41,264 You don't have to worry about me. 616 00:35:41,348 --> 00:35:43,183 I can take care of myself. 617 00:35:43,266 --> 00:35:47,479 -MOE: But, Mr. Cabot-- -Uh, you boys go ahead. 618 00:35:47,562 --> 00:35:50,774 I'm sure the sheriff can take care of himself. 619 00:35:52,108 --> 00:35:53,568 Bald Knob, here we come. 620 00:35:53,652 --> 00:35:55,779 Yes, sir. Bald Knob, here we come. 621 00:35:58,031 --> 00:36:01,785 Chief Red Cloud, Sioux. Okay. Okay? 622 00:36:01,868 --> 00:36:04,287 Chief Black Hawk, Cheyenne. Okay. Okay? 623 00:36:04,371 --> 00:36:05,664 Okay. 624 00:36:08,375 --> 00:36:10,669 -What tribe are you? -Escrow Indians. 625 00:36:10,752 --> 00:36:12,003 [GRUNTS] 626 00:36:12,087 --> 00:36:15,298 -Cleveland Indians. -Me Squaw Hootenanny. 627 00:36:15,382 --> 00:36:16,466 [LAUGHS] 628 00:36:16,549 --> 00:36:17,842 [CLEARS THROAT] 629 00:36:25,350 --> 00:36:28,269 Have special deal for great Chief Battle Horse. 630 00:36:28,353 --> 00:36:31,314 Paleface kill buffalo. 631 00:36:31,398 --> 00:36:35,026 Now red man, with thunder wagon, take many weekend trips, 632 00:36:35,110 --> 00:36:37,028 drive settlers from hunting grounds 633 00:36:37,112 --> 00:36:41,616 and guaranteed for 12,000 soldiers or 12,000 miles. 634 00:36:41,700 --> 00:36:43,326 Whichever comes first. 635 00:36:43,410 --> 00:36:44,703 Right. 636 00:36:45,954 --> 00:36:48,248 Fire-breathing wagon spit like lightning. 637 00:36:48,331 --> 00:36:50,792 Make big boom like many thunderstorms. 638 00:36:50,875 --> 00:36:52,919 Soon white man crushed. 639 00:36:53,002 --> 00:36:57,298 Buffalo come back, with thunder of many pounding hooves. 640 00:36:58,341 --> 00:37:00,260 What he say, son Charley Horse? 641 00:37:00,343 --> 00:37:03,722 Oh, he wants to sell us that souped-up hot-rod, 642 00:37:03,805 --> 00:37:05,974 together with some guns and ammo. 643 00:37:06,057 --> 00:37:08,226 You know, if you'd cut out that broken English 644 00:37:08,309 --> 00:37:10,228 and that cornball pantomime, 645 00:37:10,311 --> 00:37:13,565 this transaction would proceed a lot faster. 646 00:37:13,648 --> 00:37:15,608 Where did you learn to talk like that? 647 00:37:15,692 --> 00:37:18,570 Alabama U. I majored in poetry. 648 00:37:18,653 --> 00:37:21,322 -Why, them no-good, double-crossing... -Shh. 649 00:37:21,406 --> 00:37:23,116 [STOOGES SPEAKING INVENTED LANGUAGE] 650 00:37:23,199 --> 00:37:24,200 Shh. 651 00:37:24,284 --> 00:37:26,536 With these thunder wagons, Chief, you can wipe out the Cavalry 652 00:37:26,619 --> 00:37:28,079 and every paleface in the West. 653 00:37:28,163 --> 00:37:29,914 Take a look. 654 00:37:32,333 --> 00:37:34,961 [INDISTINCT CHATTER] 655 00:37:35,044 --> 00:37:36,755 Looks like the Monitor. 656 00:37:36,838 --> 00:37:38,590 A battleship on wheels. 657 00:37:38,673 --> 00:37:40,675 [GROANS] -Quiet! 658 00:37:43,344 --> 00:37:45,054 Easy, Sunstroke, easy. 659 00:37:45,764 --> 00:37:48,224 Chief, nothing can stand up to these thunder wagons. 660 00:37:48,308 --> 00:37:50,268 Watch the way the magic skin turns away bullets. 661 00:37:50,351 --> 00:37:52,020 [GUNFIRE] 662 00:37:55,190 --> 00:37:57,776 Fire-spitting rifle kill many palefaces. 663 00:37:58,735 --> 00:38:01,154 Give 'em a short burst and let her roll. 664 00:38:01,237 --> 00:38:02,530 [GUNFIRE] 665 00:38:10,497 --> 00:38:12,207 Okay, roll it. 666 00:38:17,086 --> 00:38:19,172 -What are we gonna do about this? -Who knows? 667 00:38:38,107 --> 00:38:39,818 TRIGGER: Whoa! 668 00:38:55,375 --> 00:38:56,876 That's a good way to lose the West. 669 00:38:56,960 --> 00:38:58,419 The West is doomed. 670 00:39:01,923 --> 00:39:03,842 [CHANTING INDISTINCTLY] 671 00:39:08,471 --> 00:39:11,099 [WHISPERING INDISTINCTLY] 672 00:39:14,143 --> 00:39:17,105 There you are, Chief. You want 'em? 673 00:39:17,188 --> 00:39:19,315 Hmm, real boss. 674 00:39:20,066 --> 00:39:22,360 Yeah. Yeah, we want 'em. 675 00:39:22,443 --> 00:39:24,404 Providing you throw in some fringe benefits, 676 00:39:24,487 --> 00:39:26,948 like wagons for the Cheyenne, 677 00:39:27,031 --> 00:39:30,285 and for the Blackfeet, and all our other allies. 678 00:39:31,327 --> 00:39:33,454 -A fleet deal. -You've got it. 679 00:39:34,247 --> 00:39:37,041 I'll do business with you, but I won't shake hands. 680 00:39:37,125 --> 00:39:38,126 [LAUGHS] 681 00:39:38,209 --> 00:39:40,420 That's it, Pop. No skin. 682 00:39:46,342 --> 00:39:47,594 [ULULATING] 683 00:40:02,525 --> 00:40:05,528 Those faces. Don't they look like... 684 00:40:09,574 --> 00:40:10,700 Hey, hey! 685 00:40:12,493 --> 00:40:14,412 It couldn't be. 686 00:40:14,495 --> 00:40:16,247 I blew 'em to bits last night. 687 00:40:23,171 --> 00:40:25,465 -Take it easy. -Welcome to the club. 688 00:40:29,260 --> 00:40:30,720 [ULULATING] 689 00:41:00,041 --> 00:41:02,335 I tell you, Rance, I seen it with my own eyes. 690 00:41:03,127 --> 00:41:04,963 Cabot's press is going like crazy. 691 00:41:05,046 --> 00:41:06,714 They're turning these things out by the thousands. 692 00:41:06,798 --> 00:41:08,466 Well, now I'll tell you something, 693 00:41:08,549 --> 00:41:11,386 I've had all I'm gonna take from that nosey tenderfoot. 694 00:41:11,469 --> 00:41:13,471 I don't want that dude in my hair another day. 695 00:41:13,554 --> 00:41:18,768 Now, you get him, front, side or in the back. 696 00:41:18,851 --> 00:41:21,521 Rance, he's as good as dead right now. 697 00:41:22,397 --> 00:41:24,065 You know, uh, 698 00:41:24,148 --> 00:41:27,193 they don't call me Wyoming's top gun for nothing. 699 00:41:33,574 --> 00:41:36,828 -Hey, Joe, give me the string. -I'm busy. 700 00:41:36,911 --> 00:41:39,497 Joe, put your finger in here, I wanna tie a knot. 701 00:41:39,580 --> 00:41:40,790 I'm busy. 702 00:41:40,873 --> 00:41:43,876 Did I ask for an argument? Drop everything! 703 00:41:50,425 --> 00:41:52,552 MOE: Get your finger in there and we'll tie that. 704 00:41:52,635 --> 00:41:55,263 Everything you do, you always fracture everything you touch. 705 00:41:55,346 --> 00:41:56,723 JOE: I got it. I got it. There you are. 706 00:41:56,806 --> 00:41:59,475 MOE: You've got it? Every time you got it, I get it. 707 00:41:59,559 --> 00:42:00,935 JOE: Yeah, yeah, yeah. 708 00:42:02,353 --> 00:42:03,730 -MOE: Okay, now. -JOE: Hmm. 709 00:42:03,813 --> 00:42:06,149 Now we've got exactly 10 minutes to get these leaflets 710 00:42:06,232 --> 00:42:07,233 onto the 4:30 bus. 711 00:42:07,316 --> 00:42:09,360 Uh, give me Mr. Cabot's list 712 00:42:09,444 --> 00:42:11,571 so we'll make sure we've got all the places he had in mind. 713 00:42:11,654 --> 00:42:13,656 Comin' up, Moe. Comin' up. The list, the list. 714 00:42:13,740 --> 00:42:15,324 Now, what happened to that list? 715 00:42:15,408 --> 00:42:17,035 Everything disappears around here. 716 00:42:17,118 --> 00:42:18,536 What happened to the glue? 717 00:42:18,619 --> 00:42:20,913 There, there's the list right there, Moe. Right there. 718 00:42:20,997 --> 00:42:22,957 There you are, boy. 719 00:42:24,584 --> 00:42:26,669 Moe, what's the matter? 720 00:42:26,753 --> 00:42:29,547 Get my hand off this chair, will you? 721 00:42:29,630 --> 00:42:30,840 Your hand? 722 00:42:32,258 --> 00:42:35,178 -There you are. -Not that one, the other one. 723 00:42:35,845 --> 00:42:37,555 What are you doing? 724 00:42:37,638 --> 00:42:39,807 This one! Come on. Get this table out of the way. 725 00:42:39,891 --> 00:42:41,893 -Makes some room, will you? -Okay, okay. 726 00:42:43,936 --> 00:42:45,563 -That's the one. -I'll get it. 727 00:42:45,646 --> 00:42:47,106 What's the matter with you? 728 00:42:48,274 --> 00:42:49,525 -Oh! -There you are. 729 00:42:50,109 --> 00:42:52,153 [SCREAMS] 730 00:42:52,737 --> 00:42:54,864 -Uh, maybe you can get it off. -Get it off. 731 00:42:54,947 --> 00:42:55,990 Yeah, you do it. 732 00:42:58,785 --> 00:43:01,370 Ha-ha. You didn't shave your hand today, did you? 733 00:43:01,454 --> 00:43:02,914 How are you fixed for blades? 734 00:43:02,997 --> 00:43:04,499 I'll show you how I'm fixed for blades. 735 00:43:04,582 --> 00:43:05,625 -Just let me get... -Easy, Moe. 736 00:43:05,708 --> 00:43:06,709 -Hey! -What? 737 00:43:06,793 --> 00:43:08,377 Where'd all this glue come from? 738 00:43:08,461 --> 00:43:10,588 -JOE: Glue? -Get me out of this mess. 739 00:43:10,671 --> 00:43:12,131 Get me out! 740 00:43:12,215 --> 00:43:14,550 -Get me over here, out of this. -JOE: Okay, okay. 741 00:43:15,051 --> 00:43:17,553 Get it off me, fellas, will you? 742 00:43:17,637 --> 00:43:19,722 I'm telling you, get it off or I'll murder you! 743 00:43:19,806 --> 00:43:21,808 [GRUNTING] 744 00:43:25,061 --> 00:43:26,062 [GRUNTING] 745 00:43:33,402 --> 00:43:35,238 Get the tools, both of you. 746 00:43:35,321 --> 00:43:37,782 When I get out of this, I'm gonna save Roden's gang 747 00:43:37,865 --> 00:43:40,243 the trouble of murdering you guys. 748 00:43:40,326 --> 00:43:42,745 You gonna take all day? Where's the tools? 749 00:43:42,829 --> 00:43:44,789 Okay, okay, we got the tools. We got the tools. 750 00:43:44,872 --> 00:43:46,624 -Hold this. -You don't have to worry. 751 00:43:46,707 --> 00:43:48,292 -Here, right here. -Right there. 752 00:43:48,376 --> 00:43:49,669 Now, take it easy, now. 753 00:43:49,752 --> 00:43:51,420 -Right there. -Right. 754 00:43:51,504 --> 00:43:52,630 On the boards. 755 00:43:52,713 --> 00:43:53,798 Listen, Larry... 756 00:43:53,881 --> 00:43:55,633 Ow! 757 00:43:55,716 --> 00:43:58,094 -What's the matter with you? -I'm trying. 758 00:43:58,177 --> 00:44:00,638 Well, get down there and get the things loose. 759 00:44:03,516 --> 00:44:04,559 Right there. 760 00:44:04,642 --> 00:44:06,894 All right, up, up, up a little more. 761 00:44:06,978 --> 00:44:09,105 That's it. Now the other one. 762 00:44:24,287 --> 00:44:26,831 What's happening? Looks like there's gonna be trouble. 763 00:44:27,415 --> 00:44:29,458 I wouldn't be a bit surprised. 764 00:44:33,629 --> 00:44:35,882 [WHISTLING] 765 00:44:42,597 --> 00:44:43,806 [GUNFIRE] 766 00:44:57,486 --> 00:44:59,071 [INDISTINCT CHATTER] 767 00:45:00,907 --> 00:45:03,910 Gee, look what Sheriff Cabot done to Trigger Mortis. 768 00:45:03,993 --> 00:45:06,787 He's even faster than Mr. Dillon. 769 00:45:07,413 --> 00:45:10,333 Wonderful shooting, Sheriff, as usual. 770 00:45:10,416 --> 00:45:12,210 -Huh. -Congratulations. 771 00:45:12,293 --> 00:45:13,669 Thank you, Miss Annie. 772 00:45:13,753 --> 00:45:15,504 I didn't wanna kill the varmint, 773 00:45:15,588 --> 00:45:17,340 just teach him a lesson. 774 00:45:36,859 --> 00:45:38,945 That's it, that's it. 775 00:45:39,028 --> 00:45:40,738 -Wait, I'll get a chair. Wait. -Get a chair. 776 00:45:40,821 --> 00:45:42,240 It'll make you comfortable. 777 00:45:42,323 --> 00:45:43,908 I felt like I was going downhill all the time. 778 00:45:43,991 --> 00:45:46,160 -Not with us here. We're gonna... -There you are. 779 00:45:46,244 --> 00:45:47,662 -Sit down. -JOE: There you are. 780 00:45:47,745 --> 00:45:49,372 -Boy, I'm tickled to death. -Boy. 781 00:45:49,455 --> 00:45:51,123 Man, you guys are really friends. 782 00:45:51,207 --> 00:45:53,292 We're your buddies. We just... 783 00:45:53,376 --> 00:45:55,253 -Oh, no. Oh, no. -[FABRIC RIPPING] 784 00:45:55,336 --> 00:45:57,004 [YELLS] 785 00:45:57,088 --> 00:45:59,257 -Help! -Get me out of here. 786 00:45:59,340 --> 00:46:00,633 -I wanna kill you. -Okay. 787 00:46:00,716 --> 00:46:03,761 -Help me out, I wanna kill you. -Okay, we'll get you. 788 00:46:04,845 --> 00:46:05,846 Watch it. 789 00:46:05,930 --> 00:46:08,641 Watch where you're sticking those handles. Take it easy. 790 00:46:08,724 --> 00:46:11,435 But, Rance, it was like he had eyes in the back of his head. 791 00:46:11,519 --> 00:46:13,187 Just as I whip out my gun, 792 00:46:13,271 --> 00:46:15,147 wham, he turns around and gives it to me. 793 00:46:15,231 --> 00:46:18,276 Uh-huh. "The top gun in Wyoming." 794 00:46:18,359 --> 00:46:21,028 -But, Rance, I had him-- -Oh, shut up! 795 00:46:22,029 --> 00:46:25,241 Local talent. It's about time we called in the pros. 796 00:46:25,324 --> 00:46:27,410 Now, where are the telegraph blanks? 797 00:46:27,493 --> 00:46:28,911 There. 798 00:46:30,288 --> 00:46:33,332 "Bat Masterson, Dodge City..." 799 00:46:33,416 --> 00:46:34,417 [BLOWS] 800 00:46:44,927 --> 00:46:46,178 [GUNSHOT] 801 00:46:49,265 --> 00:46:52,310 That's for being too lazy to deliver it. 802 00:46:52,393 --> 00:46:55,313 "Sheriff Cabot. Fastest gun ever. 803 00:46:55,396 --> 00:46:58,733 Rush to Casper. Urgent. Roden." 804 00:46:59,692 --> 00:47:01,944 "Fastest gun ever"? 805 00:47:02,028 --> 00:47:05,990 Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who's the fastest gun of all? 806 00:47:06,073 --> 00:47:10,244 MIRROR: Jesse James, you was best, till this new boy came out west. 807 00:47:10,328 --> 00:47:12,079 That's a lie. 808 00:47:13,414 --> 00:47:14,665 [GUNFIRE] 809 00:47:24,550 --> 00:47:27,803 That's what us ladies think of sheriffs. 810 00:47:29,555 --> 00:47:31,766 WOMAN: Oh, Ringo! 811 00:47:34,852 --> 00:47:36,354 [GUNSHOT] 812 00:47:36,437 --> 00:47:40,441 That'll teach you to interrupt when I'm swooning the gals. 813 00:47:50,493 --> 00:47:53,412 Man, he's a real swinger. 814 00:47:55,873 --> 00:47:57,375 [GUNFIRE] 815 00:47:57,458 --> 00:47:59,168 Sorry I can't take it all today, 816 00:47:59,251 --> 00:48:01,504 but I got more important business in Wyoming. 817 00:48:04,590 --> 00:48:06,634 Tote that barge, swish that broom. 818 00:48:06,717 --> 00:48:08,552 Get that rubbish up, or I'll fracture your skull. 819 00:48:08,636 --> 00:48:09,720 [LAUGHS] 820 00:48:09,804 --> 00:48:12,390 And you, lame brain, turn that basket up the right way. 821 00:48:12,473 --> 00:48:14,642 If I do, somebody'll put rubbish in it. 822 00:48:14,725 --> 00:48:16,560 Well, that's the general idea. 823 00:48:16,644 --> 00:48:18,437 -Get out of here! -Ow! 824 00:48:18,521 --> 00:48:19,688 Hi. 825 00:48:19,772 --> 00:48:21,315 W-Where's the sheriff? 826 00:48:21,399 --> 00:48:24,151 He went down to the Post Office to make a report to Boston. 827 00:48:24,235 --> 00:48:25,528 -Why, what's up? -Plenty. 828 00:48:25,611 --> 00:48:28,572 I hear Rance Roden has sent for his gunslingers to get Mr. Cabot, 829 00:48:28,656 --> 00:48:31,450 and that's nine of the meanest, orneriest galoots 830 00:48:31,534 --> 00:48:33,035 who ever cheated the gallows, 831 00:48:33,119 --> 00:48:35,204 and every one a dead shot. 832 00:48:35,287 --> 00:48:37,665 -Did you say nine? -Nine. Due in tonight. 833 00:48:37,748 --> 00:48:40,292 And how we're gonna handle all of them at once 834 00:48:40,376 --> 00:48:42,420 is really gonna be something of a problem. 835 00:48:42,503 --> 00:48:45,714 -What about Fort Henderson? -The news is bad. 836 00:48:45,798 --> 00:48:47,842 -The Cavalry ain't coming. -Yeah. 837 00:48:47,925 --> 00:48:50,845 The colonel's daughter ran off with a traveling salesman from St. Joe. 838 00:48:50,928 --> 00:48:53,931 And he's got all the soldiers out looking for them. 839 00:48:55,391 --> 00:48:59,645 I guess the best we can do now is pray for a miracle. 840 00:48:59,728 --> 00:49:02,314 Well, don't worry about it, Annie. 841 00:49:02,398 --> 00:49:04,442 -We'll think of something. -Yeah, we'll think of something. 842 00:49:04,525 --> 00:49:06,652 -We always do, don't we? -Why, sure. 843 00:49:06,735 --> 00:49:08,737 -Yeah. -Why, certainly we do. 844 00:49:08,821 --> 00:49:10,156 Fellas, look, 845 00:49:10,239 --> 00:49:13,075 in a couple of days, we'll be laughing at this whole thing, 846 00:49:13,159 --> 00:49:16,162 thinking how silly it was for us to worry. Laughing. 847 00:49:16,245 --> 00:49:17,913 -Yeah. -You hear, laughing. 848 00:49:17,997 --> 00:49:19,832 [LAUGHING] 849 00:49:19,915 --> 00:49:21,584 Laughing, Moe. 850 00:49:26,422 --> 00:49:28,340 At a time like this, you're laughing? 851 00:49:28,924 --> 00:49:31,343 -What's the matter with you? -Nine gunslingers. 852 00:49:31,427 --> 00:49:32,845 -Serious, this is. -Dead shots! 853 00:49:32,928 --> 00:49:34,346 All right, all right, shut up. 854 00:49:34,430 --> 00:49:35,890 I'm worrying. 855 00:49:45,399 --> 00:49:46,400 [DOG BARKING] 856 00:49:49,862 --> 00:49:51,155 Shh! 857 00:49:51,655 --> 00:49:53,073 Disguise. 858 00:49:55,326 --> 00:49:57,953 You guys sure that that batch is as strong as the last one? 859 00:49:58,037 --> 00:49:59,997 Stick your finger in there and see for yourself. 860 00:50:00,080 --> 00:50:02,416 -You'll never get it out again. -Okay. 861 00:50:02,500 --> 00:50:05,586 Now, remember, Annie told us that the gunslingers 862 00:50:05,669 --> 00:50:07,880 -are all in sample room six. -Six. 863 00:50:11,717 --> 00:50:14,303 We really packed them in for the opening tonight. 864 00:50:14,386 --> 00:50:17,056 The show oughta have a good long run here. 865 00:50:37,076 --> 00:50:38,369 Ow! 866 00:50:48,295 --> 00:50:51,131 -Here it is, six. -Yeah, number six. 867 00:50:51,215 --> 00:50:53,592 Let's go. Shh. 868 00:50:55,427 --> 00:50:56,679 Quiet, you guys. 869 00:50:56,762 --> 00:50:57,972 [MEN SNORING] 870 00:50:58,055 --> 00:51:01,433 Okay, never mind. I'd rather do it myself. 871 00:51:05,354 --> 00:51:06,981 Shh. 872 00:51:07,064 --> 00:51:09,441 -Where's Moe? -Chickened out. 873 00:51:09,525 --> 00:51:11,569 We'll do it ourselves. 874 00:51:45,269 --> 00:51:46,729 A gun belt. 875 00:51:51,150 --> 00:51:53,819 I never saw one like that before. 876 00:52:20,387 --> 00:52:22,931 There must be a gun belt here someplace. 877 00:52:24,892 --> 00:52:27,269 [GASPS] Don't do that! 878 00:52:28,687 --> 00:52:31,982 -Did you find a gun? -Only this derringer. 879 00:52:32,066 --> 00:52:33,359 Derringer? 880 00:52:33,442 --> 00:52:36,111 That's a curling iron, you chowder-head. 881 00:52:36,195 --> 00:52:38,155 Must belong to Wild Bill Hickok. 882 00:52:38,238 --> 00:52:40,449 He wears his hair down to there. 883 00:52:40,532 --> 00:52:42,284 Yeah. That's probably why he's wild. 884 00:52:42,368 --> 00:52:43,702 [BOTH LAUGH] 885 00:52:46,580 --> 00:52:48,207 Don't shoot. 886 00:53:00,844 --> 00:53:02,721 I can see he don't use this for walking. 887 00:53:07,810 --> 00:53:09,978 Come on, baby. Come on, baby. 888 00:53:10,562 --> 00:53:12,147 [GRUNTING] 889 00:53:54,148 --> 00:53:56,066 [CHUCKLES] 890 00:54:24,928 --> 00:54:27,097 -[SPRAYS] -Oh, that Hickok. 891 00:54:28,265 --> 00:54:31,935 -Did you find anything? -Only a pair of mules. 892 00:54:32,019 --> 00:54:34,354 How did he get 'em past the room clerk? 893 00:54:34,438 --> 00:54:36,356 -Not those-- -Shh! 894 00:54:38,776 --> 00:54:40,819 Jane, darling... 895 00:54:42,529 --> 00:54:45,866 I didn't know you cared. 896 00:54:59,963 --> 00:55:01,507 [IMITATING JANE] Darling. 897 00:55:01,590 --> 00:55:05,385 Can I call you "Calamity"? 898 00:55:05,469 --> 00:55:08,347 Comes tomorrow morning, you'll call me worse than that. 899 00:55:10,182 --> 00:55:12,559 I know why we haven't found any guns. 900 00:55:12,643 --> 00:55:13,852 Why? 901 00:55:13,936 --> 00:55:17,022 -We've been looking in the wrong places. -We have? 902 00:55:17,105 --> 00:55:20,275 These guys carry their guns on their hips. 903 00:55:27,825 --> 00:55:29,409 Shh. 904 00:55:42,172 --> 00:55:44,007 [WOMAN SNORTS, SIGHS] 905 00:55:44,842 --> 00:55:47,219 I think you're wrong, Joe. Let's try the closet. 906 00:55:57,938 --> 00:55:59,273 [HAT CLATTERS] -Shh. 907 00:56:04,194 --> 00:56:05,529 Shh. 908 00:56:11,702 --> 00:56:13,620 -Hickok? -Hickok? 909 00:56:14,246 --> 00:56:16,665 Wake up. I heard a noise. 910 00:56:16,748 --> 00:56:18,458 Somebody's in this room. 911 00:56:19,835 --> 00:56:22,838 [SINGSONGY] I think we made a boo-boo. 912 00:56:22,921 --> 00:56:24,923 [SNORING CONTINUES] 913 00:56:50,991 --> 00:56:53,911 There's a prowler in here. I know there is. 914 00:56:54,912 --> 00:56:56,747 I think he's in there. 915 00:56:58,081 --> 00:57:00,709 There's no one in there, dearie. We just looked. 916 00:57:00,792 --> 00:57:02,836 You must have had a terrible nightmare. 917 00:57:02,920 --> 00:57:05,505 Yes, whenever you have sauerkraut and lobster, 918 00:57:05,589 --> 00:57:07,007 it happens every time. 919 00:57:07,090 --> 00:57:10,177 Coming, Catherine? Catherine, come on. 920 00:57:10,260 --> 00:57:11,720 -Yes. -So long. 921 00:57:11,803 --> 00:57:13,013 Good to see you. 922 00:57:17,351 --> 00:57:18,560 Pardon me, madam. 923 00:57:18,644 --> 00:57:20,312 Think nothing of it, Moe. 924 00:57:24,191 --> 00:57:25,901 -Come on! -What's the matter with you? 925 00:57:25,984 --> 00:57:27,694 Leaving me alone with those killers in there? 926 00:57:27,778 --> 00:57:30,989 Come on, get going, get going! Come on! 927 00:57:58,016 --> 00:58:01,520 -Hey, Moe, here they come. -Well, they'll be sorry. 928 00:58:02,187 --> 00:58:03,772 Get that over there. How do you feel? 929 00:58:03,855 --> 00:58:06,316 Hmm? Oh, fine. 930 00:58:06,900 --> 00:58:10,654 I mean, Annie told me this morning there... 931 00:58:10,737 --> 00:58:12,280 there was nothing to worry about. 932 00:58:12,364 --> 00:58:14,282 -Well, that should settle it. -Yeah. 933 00:58:15,492 --> 00:58:17,911 Well, I guess we'd better get it over with. 934 00:58:17,995 --> 00:58:20,038 Yes, I guess we'd better. Let's go. 935 00:58:22,249 --> 00:58:26,086 Being as I got to town first, boys, he's my pigeon. 936 00:58:26,169 --> 00:58:29,172 Fair enough, Cole. Here he comes. 937 00:58:47,274 --> 00:58:48,525 Hold still. Hold still, Annie. 938 00:58:48,608 --> 00:58:51,319 No tricks. Hands off the guns. 939 00:58:51,403 --> 00:58:52,654 [£07] 940 00:59:03,290 --> 00:59:05,292 [COLE GRUNTS] 941 00:59:19,639 --> 00:59:21,099 It worked. It worked. 942 00:59:21,183 --> 00:59:22,642 Now's your chance, Mr. Cabot. 943 00:59:22,726 --> 00:59:25,312 Fan your gun. Fan your gun. 944 00:59:25,395 --> 00:59:27,981 [GASPING] 945 00:59:31,068 --> 00:59:33,236 Let 'em have it, Mr. Cabot. Shoot! Shoot! 946 00:59:45,707 --> 00:59:48,794 [GUNFIRE] 947 00:59:48,877 --> 00:59:50,128 [GRUNTS] 948 00:59:54,633 --> 00:59:55,759 [ALL LAUGHING] 949 00:59:56,802 --> 00:59:57,803 [GRUNTS] 950 01:00:00,472 --> 01:00:02,390 You'll hear about me! 951 01:00:03,683 --> 01:00:06,520 Let somebody draw that knows how. 952 01:00:11,024 --> 01:00:12,192 [GRUNTS] 953 01:00:26,957 --> 01:00:28,875 [ALL CHUCKLING] 954 01:00:36,383 --> 01:00:38,218 [LAUGHING] [GROANS] 955 01:00:39,261 --> 01:00:42,222 All right. Not another move. 956 01:00:42,305 --> 01:00:43,306 [£07] 957 01:00:43,390 --> 01:00:44,891 [GUNSHOT] 958 01:00:44,975 --> 01:00:47,060 [GROANING] 959 01:00:47,144 --> 01:00:48,770 [ALL LAUGHING] 960 01:00:49,354 --> 01:00:51,356 That smarts. 961 01:00:51,439 --> 01:00:52,607 [GROANS] 962 01:00:52,691 --> 01:00:54,151 Go see a chiropodist, buddy. 963 01:00:55,402 --> 01:00:57,696 Let's see you get out of this. 964 01:01:00,699 --> 01:01:03,034 [HORSE NEIGHING] 965 01:01:07,414 --> 01:01:09,082 [STOOGES LAUGHING] 966 01:01:09,166 --> 01:01:11,543 Pretty good, eh? Come on. 967 01:01:13,253 --> 01:01:15,630 [HORSE NEIGHING] 968 01:01:18,216 --> 01:01:19,634 Attaboy, Mr. Cabot. 969 01:01:19,718 --> 01:01:22,345 You're still the fastest gun in Casper. 970 01:01:22,429 --> 01:01:24,598 That'll teach 'em not to mess around with a Harvard man. 971 01:01:24,681 --> 01:01:25,891 Well, or us. 972 01:01:25,974 --> 01:01:29,060 Come on, fellas. Let's clean it up. 973 01:01:29,144 --> 01:01:30,729 [ALL YELLING] 974 01:01:30,812 --> 01:01:32,314 [£07] 975 01:01:53,752 --> 01:01:56,171 Better late than never, Sheriff Cabot. 976 01:01:56,254 --> 01:01:57,422 Who-- Who are you? 977 01:01:57,505 --> 01:01:59,507 Wild Bill Hickok. 978 01:01:59,591 --> 01:02:02,344 And the lady is Belle Starr. 979 01:02:04,304 --> 01:02:08,016 I got 19 notches in my gun, Sheriff, 980 01:02:08,099 --> 01:02:10,769 and you'll make it an even 20. 981 01:02:12,103 --> 01:02:15,315 I never kill from this close. 982 01:02:17,734 --> 01:02:19,277 [£07] 983 01:02:20,862 --> 01:02:22,155 Get him, Bill. 984 01:02:29,537 --> 01:02:32,749 Can't keep a lady waiting, Sheriff. 985 01:02:32,832 --> 01:02:34,125 Draw. 986 01:02:35,293 --> 01:02:36,878 [GUNFIRE] 987 01:02:44,552 --> 01:02:46,096 [BILL YELLING] 988 01:02:49,849 --> 01:02:51,851 You won't get off so lucky this time, Sheriff. 989 01:02:51,935 --> 01:02:53,186 Ken, wait. 990 01:02:53,270 --> 01:02:54,688 Annie Oakley. 991 01:02:54,771 --> 01:02:57,524 It don't look good for you to tackle a woman. 992 01:02:58,275 --> 01:03:00,402 -This one's mine. -Suits me, Annie. 993 01:03:00,485 --> 01:03:01,528 But the sheriff's first. 994 01:03:03,154 --> 01:03:04,281 Ken. 995 01:03:09,286 --> 01:03:10,704 Why, you-- 996 01:03:32,600 --> 01:03:34,394 [BOTH GRUNTING] 997 01:03:39,232 --> 01:03:41,234 You heard what I've been telling you? 998 01:03:41,318 --> 01:03:43,361 All right. You're sorry for what you done? 999 01:03:45,405 --> 01:03:47,699 Boys, make 'em sorry for what they done. 1000 01:03:48,450 --> 01:03:51,411 [ALL GROANING] 1001 01:03:51,494 --> 01:03:54,789 GUNSLINGERS: Yeah, brother, yeah. We're sorry for what we done. 1002 01:03:54,873 --> 01:03:56,291 Now, that's more like it. 1003 01:03:57,083 --> 01:03:59,878 Boys, you got a rat right here in Casper City, with a capital R. 1004 01:03:59,961 --> 01:04:01,838 That stands for "rotten" and rhymes with Roden! 1005 01:04:01,921 --> 01:04:03,548 Yeah. A rotten Roden rat. 1006 01:04:03,631 --> 01:04:04,883 With a capital R. 1007 01:04:04,966 --> 01:04:07,886 [IN UNISON] Yeah. We got a rat right here in Casper City 1008 01:04:07,969 --> 01:04:09,471 with a capital R. 1009 01:04:09,554 --> 01:04:12,265 That stands for "rotten" and that rhymes with Roden. 1010 01:04:12,349 --> 01:04:13,933 Now, that's more like it. 1011 01:04:14,017 --> 01:04:15,393 Hey, there's another one. 1012 01:04:15,477 --> 01:04:17,145 Bring the brother in. Join the flock, brother. 1013 01:04:17,228 --> 01:04:18,229 Hallelujah! Yes, sir. 1014 01:04:18,313 --> 01:04:19,522 I wanna go home. 1015 01:04:19,606 --> 01:04:21,107 I wanna go home! 1016 01:04:21,191 --> 01:04:22,359 He wants to go home. 1017 01:04:22,442 --> 01:04:24,110 -I wanna go home! -Shut up, you crybaby. 1018 01:04:24,194 --> 01:04:25,528 There. 1019 01:04:25,612 --> 01:04:27,572 [BOTH GRUNTING] 1020 01:04:42,879 --> 01:04:45,882 Now do you say hunting buffalo is an awful sin? 1021 01:04:45,965 --> 01:04:49,427 [IN UNISON] Yeah, hunting buffalo is an awful sin. 1022 01:04:49,511 --> 01:04:52,013 Goodbye, crime. Hello, law and order. 1023 01:04:52,097 --> 01:04:55,392 [IN UNISON] Goodbye, crime. Hello, law and order. 1024 01:04:55,475 --> 01:04:57,685 You're through with Rance Roden? 1025 01:04:59,604 --> 01:05:01,439 I didn't hear nothing, brother. 1026 01:05:04,984 --> 01:05:06,069 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1027 01:05:06,152 --> 01:05:07,695 [IN UNISON] Yay, brother, yay. 1028 01:05:07,779 --> 01:05:09,739 We're through with Rance Roden. 1029 01:05:24,838 --> 01:05:26,798 [GRUNTS, GROANS] 1030 01:05:26,881 --> 01:05:28,299 BELLE: Help! 1031 01:05:28,383 --> 01:05:30,635 [BOTH GRUNTING] 1032 01:05:38,476 --> 01:05:39,894 I want my Bill. 1033 01:05:43,022 --> 01:05:44,983 You poor lamb, where'd she get you? 1034 01:05:47,068 --> 01:05:49,070 I don't see no bullet hole. 1035 01:05:49,154 --> 01:05:50,155 Annie? 1036 01:05:50,238 --> 01:05:51,781 Where are they? 1037 01:05:53,199 --> 01:05:57,412 Well, I'm not really wounded, Annie. 1038 01:05:58,538 --> 01:06:00,540 l, uh, just passed out. 1039 01:06:00,623 --> 01:06:02,500 Passed out? 1040 01:06:04,127 --> 01:06:08,506 Of all the no-account, spineless jellyfish... 1041 01:06:11,551 --> 01:06:14,596 From now on, you can do your own shooting. 1042 01:06:17,307 --> 01:06:19,684 Do my own shooting? 1043 01:06:19,767 --> 01:06:22,228 Believe me, fellas, if you take the straight and narrow, 1044 01:06:22,312 --> 01:06:24,772 kids all over the world will look up to you. 1045 01:06:24,856 --> 01:06:26,357 Yeah, when we get back to Boston, 1046 01:06:26,441 --> 01:06:29,235 we'll print picture books about you with songs and stories. 1047 01:06:29,319 --> 01:06:32,030 Your names will live forever. You may even get into TV. 1048 01:06:32,113 --> 01:06:33,573 I'm sold. 1049 01:06:33,656 --> 01:06:35,533 Listen, right now, Trigger and Roden 1050 01:06:35,617 --> 01:06:38,995 are up in Bald Knob, selling guns and ammunition to the Indians. 1051 01:06:39,078 --> 01:06:41,915 Yeah. They're gonna start a full-scale attack by daybreak. 1052 01:06:41,998 --> 01:06:44,334 All right, you wanna make up for what you done? 1053 01:06:44,417 --> 01:06:46,044 [ALL YELL] 1054 01:06:46,127 --> 01:06:47,837 Saddle up and find the Calvary. 1055 01:06:47,921 --> 01:06:48,963 Let's go, boys. 1056 01:06:49,047 --> 01:06:50,840 Let's show them we've really reformed. 1057 01:06:50,924 --> 01:06:53,384 -We reformed. -Come on, let's go. 1058 01:06:53,468 --> 01:06:55,386 Let's go. Happy days! 1059 01:06:56,429 --> 01:06:59,557 Now, if we could only get a picture showing Roden selling guns to the Indians, 1060 01:06:59,641 --> 01:07:01,434 that would bring the whole United States government 1061 01:07:01,518 --> 01:07:02,602 down on his neck-- 1062 01:07:02,685 --> 01:07:04,312 End the buffalo war and put him in the clink 1063 01:07:04,395 --> 01:07:05,772 with the rest of the rodents. 1064 01:07:05,855 --> 01:07:07,065 That's with a capital R. 1065 01:07:07,148 --> 01:07:09,275 Well, I got a camera. What are we waiting for? 1066 01:07:09,359 --> 01:07:11,611 We're waiting for you to get it, you mongoose! 1067 01:07:11,694 --> 01:07:13,279 Is that with a capital M? 1068 01:07:13,363 --> 01:07:14,822 No. That's with a capital gun. 1069 01:07:14,906 --> 01:07:16,407 -Ooh! -Come on, come on. 1070 01:07:22,038 --> 01:07:23,331 I'm-- I'm sorry, Larry. 1071 01:07:23,414 --> 01:07:25,375 Mr. Cabot, what's wrong? 1072 01:07:26,084 --> 01:07:31,339 Boys, I've decided to close up shop and go back to Boston. 1073 01:07:31,422 --> 01:07:32,674 [IN UNISON] What? 1074 01:07:33,424 --> 01:07:35,301 Well, I've been a fool. 1075 01:07:35,385 --> 01:07:38,346 I know that Annie did all the shooting for me. 1076 01:07:39,097 --> 01:07:41,349 And, well, now she won't even talk to me. 1077 01:07:41,432 --> 01:07:43,226 But you can't quit now. 1078 01:07:43,309 --> 01:07:46,104 No, there's something wrong at Bald Knob. We'll tell you about it on the way over. 1079 01:07:46,187 --> 01:07:47,313 Come on. Come on. 1080 01:07:47,397 --> 01:07:49,899 We'll tell you all about it on the way over. 1081 01:07:52,235 --> 01:07:54,404 [INDISTINCT CHATTER] 1082 01:08:13,590 --> 01:08:15,466 As General Custer said, 1083 01:08:15,550 --> 01:08:17,719 "Look at all them fighting Indians." 1084 01:08:17,802 --> 01:08:19,721 What are they, Blackfeet? 1085 01:08:20,263 --> 01:08:22,223 I can't see their feet, 1086 01:08:22,307 --> 01:08:24,559 but the rest of them don't look too clean. 1087 01:08:24,642 --> 01:08:26,853 With guns and thunder wagon, 1088 01:08:26,936 --> 01:08:30,481 great chief will mow down enemies like ripe grain before the wind. 1089 01:08:30,565 --> 01:08:33,234 Cool it, pale daddy. We dig the setup. 1090 01:08:33,318 --> 01:08:36,321 We don't wanna go through that Indian jazz again. 1091 01:08:37,864 --> 01:08:39,198 What's the matter now? 1092 01:08:39,282 --> 01:08:41,409 I think the chief's got a beef. 1093 01:08:41,492 --> 01:08:44,746 My papa says, since we're paying for this thing in cash, 1094 01:08:44,829 --> 01:08:46,873 we want a 10% discount. 1095 01:08:46,956 --> 01:08:47,957 Huh? 1096 01:08:48,041 --> 01:08:51,252 You want-um wampum, you cutt-um price-um. 1097 01:08:51,336 --> 01:08:52,795 You've got a deal. 1098 01:08:57,800 --> 01:08:59,761 [ALL CHEERING] 1099 01:09:01,095 --> 01:09:05,266 Boy. Something tells me we're gonna make history with this, boy. 1100 01:09:14,025 --> 01:09:15,735 Here's your loot. 1101 01:09:15,818 --> 01:09:17,278 Are you ready? 1102 01:09:17,987 --> 01:09:19,489 Say, "Cheese." 1103 01:09:19,572 --> 01:09:22,241 Boys, this is gonna be dynamite. 1104 01:09:30,500 --> 01:09:32,627 [ALL GROANING] 1105 01:09:32,710 --> 01:09:35,463 What are you waiting for? Can't you see they're paleface spies. 1106 01:09:35,546 --> 01:09:37,423 [SPEAKING IN OTHER LANGUAGE] 1107 01:09:37,507 --> 01:09:38,549 [ALL ULULATING] 1108 01:09:38,633 --> 01:09:40,343 Where's Larry? 1109 01:09:43,513 --> 01:09:45,056 Hey, what's going on here? 1110 01:09:45,973 --> 01:09:47,433 [MUMBLES] 1111 01:09:47,517 --> 01:09:49,352 Take it easy. 1112 01:09:49,435 --> 01:09:51,479 I see stripes are in style this season. 1113 01:09:51,562 --> 01:09:53,106 [LAUGHS] 1114 01:09:53,189 --> 01:09:54,732 Greasy kid stuff, Moe. 1115 01:09:54,816 --> 01:09:56,234 All right, all right. 1116 01:09:56,317 --> 01:09:58,403 Easy now. Easy does it. 1117 01:10:10,957 --> 01:10:14,502 One, two, three, four... 1118 01:10:15,712 --> 01:10:18,506 What comes after four? Oh, that's enough. 1119 01:10:28,725 --> 01:10:30,017 LARRY: Perfect. 1120 01:10:32,770 --> 01:10:34,397 [GROANS] 1121 01:10:38,776 --> 01:10:43,823 Hi. Have you heard the story about the elephant and the little mouse? 1122 01:10:43,906 --> 01:10:46,951 MOE: What are you, a bouncer or something? Take it easy. 1123 01:10:47,034 --> 01:10:48,870 I'll get myself a cheap lawyer. 1124 01:10:48,953 --> 01:10:50,872 End of the line, Sheriff. 1125 01:10:50,955 --> 01:10:52,331 [GRUNTING] 1126 01:10:52,415 --> 01:10:54,542 Here comes the fourth one. 1127 01:10:54,625 --> 01:10:55,877 It's a clean sweep. 1128 01:11:02,091 --> 01:11:03,509 That's a devil box, Chief. 1129 01:11:03,593 --> 01:11:05,011 There's an evil spirit inside 1130 01:11:05,094 --> 01:11:08,347 that'll curse your tribe and they'll lose in battle. Kill it. 1131 01:11:11,601 --> 01:11:14,520 That was a neat idea, boys. Too bad it didn't work. 1132 01:11:14,604 --> 01:11:16,522 You renegades! 1133 01:11:16,606 --> 01:11:18,524 You'll regret this! 1134 01:11:18,608 --> 01:11:20,985 -And so will you! -[GROANS] 1135 01:11:21,068 --> 01:11:23,696 I don't know how you got away from my gunslingers, 1136 01:11:23,780 --> 01:11:25,740 but you're gonna wish they'd killed you first. 1137 01:11:25,823 --> 01:11:29,285 Because now you're gonna get it the slow way, over hot coals. 1138 01:11:29,368 --> 01:11:30,787 [GRUNTS] 1139 01:11:30,870 --> 01:11:33,206 -[SPEAKING IN OTHER LANGUAGE] -Wait a minute. 1140 01:11:33,289 --> 01:11:35,750 We'd rather you hang us to that tree. 1141 01:11:38,377 --> 01:11:41,214 Why, that tree won't be ready for 60 years. 1142 01:11:41,297 --> 01:11:42,924 -We'll wait. -Yeah. 1143 01:11:43,007 --> 01:11:44,008 [SPEAKING IN OTHER LANGUAGE] 1144 01:11:44,091 --> 01:11:46,427 -Wait. Hold it. -Easy. 1145 01:11:49,013 --> 01:11:51,474 Make the fat one medium rare. 1146 01:11:51,557 --> 01:11:53,017 I gotta get going now, Trigger, 1147 01:11:53,100 --> 01:11:56,062 but you stick around and make sure they... 1148 01:11:56,145 --> 01:11:59,524 This, uh, will be a pleasure, Mr. Roden. 1149 01:11:59,607 --> 01:12:01,943 So long. Happy hunting, Chief. 1150 01:12:04,111 --> 01:12:05,613 Charley! 1151 01:12:06,989 --> 01:12:09,033 Make smoke signals to start the war. 1152 01:12:09,116 --> 01:12:11,327 You bet, Pop. Coming up. 1153 01:12:11,410 --> 01:12:13,913 And no hanky-panky with that Pawnee chick 1154 01:12:13,996 --> 01:12:15,540 on the other side of the valley. 1155 01:12:15,623 --> 01:12:17,166 You can trust me, Pop. 1156 01:12:17,250 --> 01:12:19,293 That Pawnee's too scrawny. 1157 01:12:25,132 --> 01:12:26,509 Hey, Zsa Zsa, 1158 01:12:26,592 --> 01:12:28,761 you knitting or just sitting? 1159 01:12:28,845 --> 01:12:31,639 Get on with the message, Big Mouth. 1160 01:12:33,349 --> 01:12:35,268 [TELEGRAPH BEEPING] 1161 01:13:08,759 --> 01:13:10,261 [TELEGRAPH BEEPING] 1162 01:13:24,817 --> 01:13:27,820 [ALL ULULATING] 1163 01:13:35,244 --> 01:13:37,496 [GUNFIRE] 1164 01:13:50,384 --> 01:13:52,094 DRIVER: Yah! 1165 01:14:20,873 --> 01:14:23,876 [ULULATING] 1166 01:14:31,467 --> 01:14:34,470 [CHANTING] 1167 01:14:51,278 --> 01:14:53,280 My son, the doctor... 1168 01:14:55,658 --> 01:14:57,284 [CHANTING] 1169 01:14:57,368 --> 01:14:59,704 Hey, watch it, Kildare! 1170 01:14:59,787 --> 01:15:02,081 Chief, we're wasting time. 1171 01:15:02,164 --> 01:15:03,457 Let's get this over with. 1172 01:15:03,541 --> 01:15:06,127 He's the one who's been killing your buffalo. 1173 01:15:06,210 --> 01:15:09,797 Now, they're trying to stir up a war so they can get rich selling you guns. 1174 01:15:09,880 --> 01:15:13,259 Boy, is that ever a pile-- 1175 01:15:13,342 --> 01:15:16,053 Lies, lies. 1176 01:15:16,137 --> 01:15:19,265 They spy for paleface enemies. 1177 01:15:19,348 --> 01:15:24,103 All our buffalo destroyed. Now all white man die. 1178 01:15:24,186 --> 01:15:25,813 [INDISTINCT CHATTER] 1179 01:15:25,896 --> 01:15:27,690 Moe. The horn. The horn. 1180 01:15:27,773 --> 01:15:29,191 -Oh. -The horn. 1181 01:15:29,275 --> 01:15:31,193 Hey, Chief, he's got the magic flute. 1182 01:15:31,277 --> 01:15:35,573 Yeah. I can make the great spirit, uh, bring your buffalo back. 1183 01:15:37,908 --> 01:15:39,660 He speaks the truth, Chief. 1184 01:15:39,744 --> 01:15:41,787 He's bulling you, Chief. He's bulling you. 1185 01:15:41,871 --> 01:15:44,248 And he's stalling. Don't listen to him. 1186 01:15:44,331 --> 01:15:45,332 I can. 1187 01:15:45,416 --> 01:15:47,752 Uh, well, if you turn me loose. 1188 01:15:47,835 --> 01:15:51,505 I can't play a flute with my hands tied. Can I? 1189 01:15:55,051 --> 01:15:56,635 Untie him. 1190 01:15:56,719 --> 01:15:59,305 [SPEAKING IN OTHER LANGUAGE] 1191 01:16:09,398 --> 01:16:11,275 Now, let me see, what was that? 1192 01:16:11,358 --> 01:16:15,821 Did I play a slow pizzicato or was it a fast obbligato? 1193 01:16:15,905 --> 01:16:17,573 I got it. [CHUCKLES] 1194 01:16:18,407 --> 01:16:19,909 [PLAYING LOUDLY] 1195 01:16:22,870 --> 01:16:24,747 [SIGHS] 1196 01:16:32,838 --> 01:16:35,299 I don't see buffalo. 1197 01:16:35,382 --> 01:16:37,301 Because there ain't no buffalo. 1198 01:16:37,384 --> 01:16:40,054 -[INDISTINCT CHATTER] -Now, let's get on with the burning. 1199 01:16:41,806 --> 01:16:44,600 Oh, now, wait a minute. He was only tuning up. 1200 01:16:44,683 --> 01:16:45,810 Yeah. 1201 01:16:45,893 --> 01:16:49,313 Remember that tune. Get some buffalo, or I'll give you worse than a hotfoot. 1202 01:16:49,396 --> 01:16:50,856 Okay, okay. Uh, give me an A. 1203 01:16:50,940 --> 01:16:51,941 TAT -A. 1204 01:16:52,024 --> 01:16:53,359 A? 1205 01:16:54,568 --> 01:16:56,195 [PLAYING LOUDLY] 1206 01:16:57,404 --> 01:16:59,490 [PLAYING JAZZILY] 1207 01:17:06,539 --> 01:17:08,666 [DOG BARKING IN DISTANCE] 1208 01:17:10,584 --> 01:17:13,129 Nothing. We're wasting time. 1209 01:17:13,212 --> 01:17:15,548 Doctor, light the fire. 1210 01:17:15,631 --> 01:17:16,757 [SPEAKING IN OTHER LANGUAGE] 1211 01:17:16,841 --> 01:17:17,925 Hey, hey, hey. 1212 01:17:18,008 --> 01:17:19,426 Come on, get out of there. 1213 01:17:19,510 --> 01:17:23,055 Get away. Go. Go away, you ugly pyromaniac. 1214 01:17:23,139 --> 01:17:24,348 I got one more chance. 1215 01:17:24,431 --> 01:17:25,641 One more chance, Chief. 1216 01:17:25,724 --> 01:17:28,060 [COUGHS] One more chance, Moe. 1217 01:17:28,561 --> 01:17:30,271 [PLAYING LOUDLY] 1218 01:17:39,780 --> 01:17:40,865 [RUMBLING] 1219 01:17:41,991 --> 01:17:43,909 Holy cows! 1220 01:17:43,993 --> 01:17:45,911 [CLAMORING] 1221 01:17:45,995 --> 01:17:47,663 [£07] 1222 01:18:02,303 --> 01:18:04,805 I'm a success. Moe, I'm a success. 1223 01:18:22,031 --> 01:18:23,532 Untie them. 1224 01:18:26,035 --> 01:18:27,870 I did it, Moe. I'm a success. 1225 01:18:27,953 --> 01:18:29,830 Make smoke, Charley. 1226 01:18:29,914 --> 01:18:31,165 Call off war. 1227 01:18:31,248 --> 01:18:33,500 Oh, Papa, you're always picking on me. 1228 01:18:33,584 --> 01:18:37,129 Why don't you send your son, the doctor? 1229 01:18:37,213 --> 01:18:38,881 Roger! 1230 01:18:40,216 --> 01:18:42,968 Moe, my instant photo. 1231 01:18:43,052 --> 01:18:45,387 I took it before they smashed the camera. 1232 01:18:45,471 --> 01:18:48,140 Oh, boy, wait'll the government gets a load of this. 1233 01:18:53,520 --> 01:18:55,397 [HORSE NEIGHING] 1234 01:18:55,481 --> 01:18:57,816 -MOE: He's getting away. -TRIGGER: Yah! 1235 01:19:00,861 --> 01:19:02,404 -[ALL YELLING] -Go get him. 1236 01:19:09,203 --> 01:19:11,747 The quicker we turn that photo over to the authorities, 1237 01:19:11,830 --> 01:19:14,291 the sooner law and order will be restored in the West. 1238 01:19:14,375 --> 01:19:16,543 Well, Chief, we gotta get going back to Casper. 1239 01:19:16,627 --> 01:19:19,588 Hey. It's a long walk back to Casper. 1240 01:19:19,672 --> 01:19:23,926 Oh, go ahead and take that chuck wagon we got from the Calvary. 1241 01:19:24,009 --> 01:19:25,970 CABOT: Well, that'll be fine. 1242 01:19:26,053 --> 01:19:29,098 [CHUCKLES] Return it to the army, please. 1243 01:19:29,181 --> 01:19:32,059 Uh, tell them we took it by mistake. 1244 01:19:33,852 --> 01:19:35,854 -Thanks, Chief. -Bye, Chief. 1245 01:19:35,938 --> 01:19:37,773 -Bye, Charley. -Bye-bye. 1246 01:19:37,856 --> 01:19:39,275 You got a bad bunch of dancers, Chief. 1247 01:19:39,358 --> 01:19:41,026 -So long. -So long, Chief. 1248 01:19:41,110 --> 01:19:42,778 And, uh, this is yours. 1249 01:19:42,861 --> 01:19:45,406 I won't need that back in Boston. 1250 01:19:46,782 --> 01:19:49,285 Uh, no need to worry now, son. 1251 01:19:49,368 --> 01:19:51,120 Oh, you said it, Paparooni. 1252 01:19:51,203 --> 01:19:52,788 Why, with that swinging tooter, 1253 01:19:52,871 --> 01:19:55,499 we'll have two buffalo in every tepee. 1254 01:19:55,582 --> 01:19:57,167 [BOTH LAUGHING] 1255 01:19:57,251 --> 01:20:00,170 -Give me an A. -JAJT 1256 01:20:00,254 --> 01:20:03,173 [PLAYING JAZZ] 1257 01:20:14,852 --> 01:20:16,312 Where do you think you're going? 1258 01:20:16,395 --> 01:20:18,522 Any place the afternoon stage will take me. 1259 01:20:18,605 --> 01:20:20,899 Oh, no, you're not. Nobody walks out on me. 1260 01:20:20,983 --> 01:20:23,444 -Not even Annie Oakley. -Rance! 1261 01:20:23,527 --> 01:20:26,280 Cabot's got a photo of us selling them rifles to the Indians. 1262 01:20:26,363 --> 01:20:28,032 They're probably on their way to town. 1263 01:20:28,115 --> 01:20:30,993 We've got to intercept them and get that photo or we're as good as strung up. 1264 01:20:31,076 --> 01:20:32,536 They were all supposed to be dead by now. 1265 01:20:32,619 --> 01:20:36,040 They bamboozled their way out of it. We've got to get that photo. 1266 01:20:36,123 --> 01:20:38,417 We'll get that photo and we'll get them too. 1267 01:20:38,500 --> 01:20:40,919 No, you don't. You're not warning anybody. 1268 01:20:41,003 --> 01:20:42,629 You're going with me. 1269 01:20:42,713 --> 01:20:44,340 [ANNIE GRUNTS] 1270 01:20:47,968 --> 01:20:51,472 Well, as soon as we turn that picture over to the authorities, 1271 01:20:51,555 --> 01:20:53,474 we'll be headed back to Boston. 1272 01:20:53,557 --> 01:20:55,476 Our work here is finished. 1273 01:20:55,559 --> 01:20:57,019 What about Annie? 1274 01:20:57,811 --> 01:20:58,979 Well, I... 1275 01:20:59,063 --> 01:21:00,230 [GUNFIRE] 1276 01:21:00,314 --> 01:21:01,690 What happened? 1277 01:21:01,774 --> 01:21:03,108 Hey, boys. 1278 01:21:03,192 --> 01:21:05,152 [GUNFIRE] 1279 01:21:05,235 --> 01:21:06,945 Get us out of here! 1280 01:21:19,666 --> 01:21:21,919 ["'WILLIAM TELL OVERTURE" PLAYING] 1281 01:21:29,927 --> 01:21:32,262 -[GUNFIRE] -Help! 1282 01:21:32,346 --> 01:21:34,014 [LAUGHS] 1283 01:21:34,098 --> 01:21:35,224 Help, Moe, Larry! 1284 01:21:35,307 --> 01:21:36,850 Okay, okay, kid. 1285 01:21:36,934 --> 01:21:38,894 -Oh, oh! Oh, oh! -Get that up here! 1286 01:21:38,977 --> 01:21:40,729 Get 'em. 1287 01:21:43,899 --> 01:21:46,944 I'll blow that carriage right out from underneath them. 1288 01:21:54,201 --> 01:21:56,829 How do you like that? At a time like this, a flat tire. 1289 01:22:04,378 --> 01:22:06,380 Look out! Get that gun inside. 1290 01:22:15,139 --> 01:22:17,808 It's Trigger and Roden, and they got Annie with them. 1291 01:22:36,910 --> 01:22:38,787 ["'WILLIAM TELL OVERTURE" PLAYING] 1292 01:22:44,585 --> 01:22:46,712 -Battle stations! -Battle stations! 1293 01:22:48,839 --> 01:22:49,882 Come on. 1294 01:22:56,013 --> 01:22:58,515 -Get your head out of the way. -I'm not the enemy! 1295 01:23:02,394 --> 01:23:03,896 ["'WILLIAM TELL OVERTURE" PLAYING] 1296 01:23:12,362 --> 01:23:14,406 -Heavy artillery! -Heavy artillery! 1297 01:23:22,623 --> 01:23:24,291 Right on the schnoz! [LAUGHS] 1298 01:23:25,751 --> 01:23:27,628 -Look out now! -Get 'em, Moe! 1299 01:23:27,711 --> 01:23:29,338 [INDISTINCT CHATTER] 1300 01:23:29,421 --> 01:23:30,881 [LAUGHING] 1301 01:23:30,964 --> 01:23:32,132 Oh! 1302 01:23:32,799 --> 01:23:33,967 Why, you-- 1303 01:23:39,431 --> 01:23:41,308 Why don't you get out of the way? 1304 01:23:41,391 --> 01:23:43,393 There you are, Moe, get him. Get Trigger. 1305 01:23:55,989 --> 01:23:57,574 RODEN: Whoa. 1306 01:24:07,459 --> 01:24:09,920 If we only had a gun to give him cover. 1307 01:24:10,587 --> 01:24:12,089 ["'WILLIAM TELL OVERTURE" PLAYING] 1308 01:24:15,259 --> 01:24:17,886 Boy, he's liable to get killed out there. 1309 01:24:17,970 --> 01:24:19,846 Hey, Moe, the meat grinder. 1310 01:24:21,431 --> 01:24:23,100 Get out of there, Annie! 1311 01:24:40,867 --> 01:24:42,911 -Oh! -What a whack in the jaw! 1312 01:24:42,995 --> 01:24:44,162 -Come on, boys. -Yeah. 1313 01:25:03,056 --> 01:25:04,516 [BOTH GRUNTING] 1314 01:25:08,478 --> 01:25:10,063 [BOTH GRUNTING] 1315 01:25:18,614 --> 01:25:20,991 Take it easy. What happened? 1316 01:25:21,074 --> 01:25:22,284 All right. 1317 01:25:24,077 --> 01:25:25,495 [TRIGGER GRUNTS] 1318 01:25:27,748 --> 01:25:28,915 Come on! Yeah. 1319 01:25:39,217 --> 01:25:40,510 Give him an upper shoot. 1320 01:25:45,766 --> 01:25:48,393 [ALL CHEERING] 1321 01:26:04,117 --> 01:26:05,702 [BUGLE PLAYING] 1322 01:26:05,786 --> 01:26:07,371 Here they come, late as usual. 1323 01:26:07,454 --> 01:26:08,955 [HOOF BEATS APPROACHING] 1324 01:26:09,039 --> 01:26:10,499 Over here, over here. 1325 01:26:10,582 --> 01:26:12,000 Come on. 1326 01:26:16,046 --> 01:26:18,674 Uh-uh, get over, over there. Come on, right there. 1327 01:26:18,757 --> 01:26:22,219 Sixth United States Cavalry, sir, at your service. 1328 01:26:22,302 --> 01:26:24,805 For a while, Colonel, uh, we thought you were gonna be late. 1329 01:26:24,888 --> 01:26:28,141 [INHALES] Sir, never in the history of motion pictures 1330 01:26:28,225 --> 01:26:30,936 has the United States Cavalry ever been late. 1331 01:26:31,019 --> 01:26:32,229 I'll bet you. 1332 01:26:32,312 --> 01:26:34,189 Did you hear what he said? Ne-- 1333 01:26:34,272 --> 01:26:36,733 Never mind. Hmm. 1334 01:26:36,817 --> 01:26:38,610 Well, at any rate... [INHALES] 1335 01:26:38,694 --> 01:26:41,405 ...there's a couple of prisoners there and you'd better not be late with them. 1336 01:26:41,488 --> 01:26:43,156 -[CLEARS THROAT] -No, sir. 1337 01:26:43,240 --> 01:26:45,409 That'll be all, mustache. 1338 01:26:46,910 --> 01:26:48,453 I wish I had a camera. 1339 01:26:50,288 --> 01:26:52,290 [ALL CHEERING] 1340 01:26:58,255 --> 01:27:02,092 Boys! You look great. That's the way we like to see you. 1341 01:27:02,175 --> 01:27:03,552 So long, fellas. 1342 01:27:03,635 --> 01:27:04,720 Be good. 1343 01:27:04,803 --> 01:27:06,263 Don't forget what we told you. 1344 01:27:06,346 --> 01:27:09,516 [IN UNISON] Goodbye, crime. Hello, law and order. 1345 01:27:09,599 --> 01:27:11,518 -See you, Wyatt. -So long, Bat. 1346 01:27:11,601 --> 01:27:14,771 So long there, boy. Take care of yourself. 1347 01:27:14,855 --> 01:27:16,189 Goodbye, crime. 1348 01:27:16,273 --> 01:27:17,858 [IN UNISON] Hello, law and order. 1349 01:27:17,941 --> 01:27:21,027 Goodbye, crime. Hello, law and order. 1350 01:27:21,111 --> 01:27:24,281 Goodbye, crime. Hello, law and order. 1351 01:27:24,948 --> 01:27:29,202 Hey, fellas. Just like in the big-budget westerns, 1352 01:27:29,286 --> 01:27:31,955 we're gonna get to ride off into the sunset. 1353 01:27:32,038 --> 01:27:34,124 [THUNDER RUMBLING] 1354 01:27:35,333 --> 01:27:36,626 Sunset, huh? 1355 01:27:36,710 --> 01:27:38,754 You had to open your big fat mouth. 1356 01:27:38,837 --> 01:27:40,922 -Oh, oh, oh. -Get out! 1357 01:27:41,006 --> 01:27:43,216 -Get out! -Come on, fellas. 1358 01:27:43,300 --> 01:27:45,302 [INDISTINCT CHATTER] 1359 01:27:54,770 --> 01:27:56,772 [£07] 1360 01:27:57,305 --> 01:28:57,703 Watch Online Movies and Series for FREE www.osdb.link/lm