"The Big Bang Theory" The Wedding Gift Wormhole

1 00:00:03,240 --> 00:00:05,197 Yeah, but I think by the end of the honeymoon, 2 00:00:05,280 --> 00:00:07,511 we really started to feel like a married couple. 3 00:00:07,960 --> 00:00:10,839 Yeah, but the good kind, like on TV, not like my parents. 4 00:00:10,960 --> 00:00:11,960 Yeah. 5 00:00:12,040 --> 00:00:14,536 You're not a real married couple until you can pee with the door open 6 00:00:14,560 --> 00:00:15,710 and she's okay with it. 7 00:00:17,160 --> 00:00:18,560 I told you I'm not okay with it. 8 00:00:20,120 --> 00:00:21,236 She loves it. 9 00:00:23,040 --> 00:00:26,033 So, we got everybody gifts. 10 00:00:26,120 --> 00:00:27,120 Aww. 11 00:00:28,640 --> 00:00:31,235 Did you forget about us until you were at the airport? 12 00:00:32,040 --> 00:00:34,509 No, we forgot about you until we were on the plane. 13 00:00:35,760 --> 00:00:38,275 Luckily there was Wi-Fi, and I have Amazon Prime. 14 00:00:40,680 --> 00:00:44,037 "I heart New York." Aww, the baby's gonna love throwing up on this. 15 00:00:45,160 --> 00:00:47,959 Look, it doesn't have to just be New York, that's the beauty of it. 16 00:00:48,040 --> 00:00:51,078 The initials "N.Y." can stand for anything you like. 17 00:00:51,160 --> 00:00:52,760 For instance, I understand that there is 18 00:00:52,800 --> 00:00:56,350 an elderly rock and roll musician named Neil Young, perhaps you heart him. 19 00:00:57,240 --> 00:01:02,156 Or if not him, Egyptian table tennis silver medalist Noha Yossry, yup. 20 00:01:02,240 --> 00:01:06,996 Or Nana Yamaguchi, the Japanese voice actress who starred in <i>Sally the Witch.</i> 21 00:01:08,320 --> 00:01:10,551 Did you just google the initials "N.Y."? 22 00:01:10,640 --> 00:01:13,360 I had Wi-Fi and a long plane flight, draw your own conclusions. 23 00:01:14,600 --> 00:01:17,434 Well, guys, that was very, very thoughtful of you. I... 24 00:01:21,040 --> 00:01:22,679 Did you get me a double XL? 25 00:01:23,640 --> 00:01:25,199 - I told you. - You were right, dear. 26 00:01:26,880 --> 00:01:30,237 <i>Our whole universe was in a hot dense state</i> 27 00:01:30,360 --> 00:01:33,797 <i>Then nearly fourteen billion years ago expansion started...</i> 28 00:01:33,880 --> 00:01:34,800 <i>Wait!</i> 29 00:01:34,801 --> 00:01:35,759 <i>The earth began to cool</i> 30 00:01:35,760 --> 00:01:36,955 <i>The autotrophs began to drool</i> 31 00:01:37,040 --> 00:01:38,554 <i>Neanderthals developed tools</i> 32 00:01:38,640 --> 00:01:40,359 <i>We built a wall We built the pyramids</i> 33 00:01:40,440 --> 00:01:43,035 <i>Math, science, history Unraveling the mystery</i> 34 00:01:43,120 --> 00:01:44,873 <i>It all started with the Big Bang!</i> 35 00:01:45,000 --> 00:01:46,000 <i>Bang!</i> 36 00:01:48,000 --> 00:01:54,074 Watch Online Movies and Series for FREE www.osdb.link/lm 37 00:01:55,040 --> 00:01:57,714 Sheldon, that's not how you write a thank you card. 38 00:01:58,160 --> 00:01:59,276 What's wrong with it? 39 00:02:00,040 --> 00:02:03,875 "Dear Aunt Helen, thank you so much for the lovely place setting. 40 00:02:03,960 --> 00:02:06,475 If my handwriting looks strained, that is because 41 00:02:06,560 --> 00:02:09,439 this is the 16th thank you card Amy has forced me to write. 42 00:02:11,480 --> 00:02:15,554 The muscles in my wrist are cramping as I struggle to finish this sentence. 43 00:02:17,120 --> 00:02:20,033 Ow, ow. Oh, the pain. Love, Sheldon." 44 00:02:21,440 --> 00:02:22,556 Fine. 45 00:02:23,680 --> 00:02:24,909 "And Amy." 46 00:02:26,680 --> 00:02:27,680 Ow. 47 00:02:29,080 --> 00:02:32,437 This one is from Leonard and Penny. Aww. 48 00:02:32,880 --> 00:02:34,951 "The perfect gift for the perfect couple." 49 00:02:35,040 --> 00:02:37,600 Oh, save that card, we may need to throw it back in their faces. 50 00:02:39,480 --> 00:02:41,039 I wonder what could it be? 51 00:02:41,120 --> 00:02:44,875 Oh, it could be anything, a flute, a letter opener. 52 00:02:45,000 --> 00:02:47,879 One of those pens where you put the bikini back on the naked lady. 53 00:02:49,840 --> 00:02:50,840 Oh. 54 00:02:51,160 --> 00:02:52,480 Isn't this nice. 55 00:02:56,080 --> 00:02:57,116 What is it? 56 00:02:57,880 --> 00:02:59,997 You know, it's, uh, it's one of those... 57 00:03:03,760 --> 00:03:04,876 Nope, doesn't do that. 58 00:03:06,200 --> 00:03:08,032 Oh, maybe it's candy. Lick it. 59 00:03:10,160 --> 00:03:11,640 I don't wanna lick it, you lick it. 60 00:03:11,720 --> 00:03:13,920 What? I'm not going to lick it, I just brushed my teeth. 61 00:03:14,840 --> 00:03:16,672 Is it from one of your dumb sci-fi shows? 62 00:03:16,800 --> 00:03:19,520 None of the sci-fi shows I watch are dumb. 63 00:03:19,600 --> 00:03:21,114 - Sheldon... - Okay, <i>Westworld.</i> 64 00:03:21,200 --> 00:03:25,353 But this has nothing to do with that show, other than it's also inexplicable. 65 00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:27,696 Well, Leonard and Penny are our best friends, 66 00:03:27,720 --> 00:03:29,000 they know us better than anyone. 67 00:03:29,200 --> 00:03:32,034 They said it's the perfect gift. We must be missing something. 68 00:03:40,360 --> 00:03:44,718 You don't think it's a marital aid, do you? 69 00:03:47,440 --> 00:03:48,760 What? Don't be silly, Amy. 70 00:03:48,840 --> 00:03:51,514 How is this big glass shaft going to aid our marriage? 71 00:03:56,720 --> 00:03:59,280 Do you think when Krypto the Superdog is out flying, 72 00:03:59,360 --> 00:04:01,636 Superman has to fly after him with a little baggie? 73 00:04:02,640 --> 00:04:05,360 Hmm. I've never really thought about it before, 74 00:04:05,960 --> 00:04:07,400 but he doesn't need a baggie because 75 00:04:07,440 --> 00:04:09,477 he just blasts the poop with his heat vision. 76 00:04:11,240 --> 00:04:13,920 - You've thought about it before. - Oh, I've thought about it a lot. 77 00:04:21,080 --> 00:04:22,878 What is wrong with Stuart's face? 78 00:04:24,320 --> 00:04:25,470 I think he's smiling. 79 00:04:27,240 --> 00:04:29,880 Oh, my God. Are they flirting? 80 00:04:29,960 --> 00:04:30,960 They're way past flirting. 81 00:04:30,961 --> 00:04:33,271 I caught them making out at Sheldon's wedding. 82 00:04:34,240 --> 00:04:36,640 Are you sure she wasn't trying to breathe life back into him? 83 00:04:38,440 --> 00:04:39,440 I don't think so. 84 00:04:39,480 --> 00:04:42,393 When I used that much tongue at CPR training, I had to buy the dummy. 85 00:04:43,920 --> 00:04:45,479 Ooh, I have class, I should go. 86 00:04:45,560 --> 00:04:48,155 Oh, okay. Bye. 87 00:04:58,400 --> 00:04:59,470 See you, guys. 88 00:04:59,560 --> 00:05:00,755 - Bye. - Bye. 89 00:05:01,960 --> 00:05:02,996 So... 90 00:05:03,080 --> 00:05:06,357 what's her deal? Is she into you or does she just hate her parents? 91 00:05:07,760 --> 00:05:12,232 I dunno, we kissed a little at the wedding and it was great. 92 00:05:12,320 --> 00:05:14,216 But we haven't really talked about it since then, 93 00:05:14,240 --> 00:05:16,357 so I don't know how she feels about me. 94 00:05:16,440 --> 00:05:18,432 Well, she patted you on the head, 95 00:05:18,520 --> 00:05:21,592 so I'm guessing she feels like, "You're such a good boy." 96 00:05:23,760 --> 00:05:25,956 Seriously, do you think I should ask her out? 97 00:05:26,040 --> 00:05:29,272 Yeah. Absolutely. Don't let love get away. 98 00:05:29,360 --> 00:05:32,034 It is the most important thing in the world. 99 00:05:32,680 --> 00:05:35,514 Without it, life is dark and meaningless 100 00:05:35,600 --> 00:05:37,920 and all you're left with is the judgmental gaze of your dog 101 00:05:38,000 --> 00:05:40,037 as you finish off a bag of Doritos on the toilet. 102 00:05:42,560 --> 00:05:44,791 Thanks. You're a real good pal. 103 00:05:47,640 --> 00:05:48,869 And now you're a good boy. 104 00:05:56,680 --> 00:05:59,275 I can't stop thinking about that present. It's driving me crazy. 105 00:05:59,360 --> 00:06:00,635 Yeah, me, too. 106 00:06:00,720 --> 00:06:02,712 The card said it was the perfect gift, 107 00:06:02,920 --> 00:06:05,754 but it's not a dinosaur fossil or matching pocket watches, 108 00:06:05,840 --> 00:06:07,000 so I don't see how it can be. 109 00:06:08,120 --> 00:06:10,954 Maybe we're trying too hard. Maybe it's something simple. 110 00:06:11,080 --> 00:06:13,117 Like Leonard and Penny. Yes, good. 111 00:06:14,440 --> 00:06:16,352 We just need to think like them. 112 00:06:16,480 --> 00:06:18,711 Okay. 113 00:06:19,200 --> 00:06:21,669 What gift can I get us 114 00:06:21,760 --> 00:06:25,720 to express how grateful we are to have us in their lives? 115 00:06:27,320 --> 00:06:28,515 Way to make it simple. 116 00:06:29,480 --> 00:06:30,696 You know, I'm just going to ask them. 117 00:06:30,720 --> 00:06:32,757 No, you can't, it'll hurt their feelings. 118 00:06:33,080 --> 00:06:34,196 I'm okay with that. 119 00:06:35,040 --> 00:06:36,256 And they'll know you weren't smart enough 120 00:06:36,280 --> 00:06:37,440 to figure it out on your own. 121 00:06:37,720 --> 00:06:40,189 You're right. Oh, this is awful, 122 00:06:40,320 --> 00:06:41,959 and I can't even comfort myself 123 00:06:42,040 --> 00:06:44,430 by stroking the fossilized tibia of a <i>Pentaceratops.</i> 124 00:06:46,320 --> 00:06:47,470 Let's just go to sleep. 125 00:06:47,560 --> 00:06:49,400 We'll look at it in the morning with fresh eyes 126 00:06:49,480 --> 00:06:50,596 and maybe it'll come to us. 127 00:06:50,880 --> 00:06:51,950 Fine. 128 00:06:58,400 --> 00:07:00,710 Or we go tear apart that box and look for a clue. 129 00:07:01,120 --> 00:07:03,635 Staying up past my bedtime and solving mysteries, 130 00:07:03,720 --> 00:07:05,320 who knew married life could be this good? 131 00:07:12,280 --> 00:07:13,680 What's wrong with his face? 132 00:07:14,920 --> 00:07:16,440 A lot of people have been asking that. 133 00:07:16,520 --> 00:07:17,795 He's smiling. 134 00:07:20,240 --> 00:07:22,072 Hey, Stuart, you look pretty happy. 135 00:07:22,160 --> 00:07:26,916 Oh, yeah. I asked Denise out on a date, and she said yes. 136 00:07:27,000 --> 00:07:28,480 Aww, that's great, 137 00:07:29,040 --> 00:07:31,077 but don't smile like that in front of Halley. 138 00:07:31,160 --> 00:07:32,880 She just started sleeping through the night. 139 00:07:33,760 --> 00:07:37,549 Sorry. I'm excited. I haven't been on a date in a long time. 140 00:07:37,640 --> 00:07:40,200 You know, back when I was dating, I'd always wear 141 00:07:40,280 --> 00:07:41,800 a new pair of underwear. Just in case. 142 00:07:42,080 --> 00:07:44,436 It's also been a long time since I bought new underwear. 143 00:07:45,720 --> 00:07:49,396 And I probably should because these are no longer tighty nor whitey. 144 00:07:50,720 --> 00:07:51,870 Okay, I'm out. 145 00:07:53,600 --> 00:07:55,576 You know, if there's a chance someone's gonna see you naked, 146 00:07:55,600 --> 00:07:58,832 it's also polite to make sure you're well groomed down there. 147 00:07:58,920 --> 00:08:00,639 I get it, Howard. I've been busy! 148 00:08:05,520 --> 00:08:07,000 - Hello. - Hey. 149 00:08:07,080 --> 00:08:11,154 I just wanted to pop over and hand deliver this thank you note, 150 00:08:11,240 --> 00:08:13,516 for your very thoughtful wedding gift. 151 00:08:13,600 --> 00:08:15,000 - Oh. - Oh, good, you guys liked it? 152 00:08:15,080 --> 00:08:17,595 Yeah, well, we liked it a lot more than things 153 00:08:17,680 --> 00:08:19,194 that aren't it, I'll tell you that. 154 00:08:20,240 --> 00:08:22,616 Well, you know, that's great because when we saw it, we thought, 155 00:08:22,640 --> 00:08:24,313 "Amy and Sheldon just have to have that." 156 00:08:24,440 --> 00:08:25,440 Oh, do tell. 157 00:08:25,520 --> 00:08:28,194 Now, paint a picture for me, like where you were when you found it 158 00:08:28,320 --> 00:08:30,277 and what you thought we'd enjoy doing with it. 159 00:08:33,200 --> 00:08:34,634 Do you not know what it is? 160 00:08:34,720 --> 00:08:36,598 Oh, of course he knows what it is. 161 00:08:36,680 --> 00:08:38,273 He's the smartest man in the world. 162 00:08:40,160 --> 00:08:42,038 Well, I don't know about the world. 163 00:08:42,120 --> 00:08:44,430 Now, some of those Chinese fellas are pretty clever. 164 00:08:44,520 --> 00:08:46,193 Uh, now if you'll excuse me, 165 00:08:46,280 --> 00:08:47,919 I'm going to return home 166 00:08:48,000 --> 00:08:50,834 and use your gift in the manner which it was intended. 167 00:08:55,160 --> 00:08:57,470 - He's never gonna figure it out. - I know. 168 00:08:58,720 --> 00:08:59,995 What are you? 169 00:09:02,320 --> 00:09:04,000 - Gosh this makes me happy. - Yeah. 170 00:09:07,400 --> 00:09:10,632 Howard. Look, I don't often say this, but good, you're here. 171 00:09:10,720 --> 00:09:15,192 Now, do you know what Leonard and Penny got us for our wedding gift? 172 00:09:15,640 --> 00:09:16,710 - Well... - Don't answer. 173 00:09:16,800 --> 00:09:19,156 I don't want to know. I just want to know if you know. 174 00:09:19,240 --> 00:09:20,356 I do know. 175 00:09:20,440 --> 00:09:23,353 Okay, great. I believe that Amy and I have figured it out. 176 00:09:23,440 --> 00:09:27,593 Is it a clue to a scavenger hunt that will lead us to the actual present? 177 00:09:29,080 --> 00:09:32,357 If you're asking if you and Amy should spend the next couple days 178 00:09:32,440 --> 00:09:34,796 running all over town, searching for the next clue, 179 00:09:34,880 --> 00:09:36,837 I'm gonna have to say yes. 180 00:09:37,680 --> 00:09:40,070 I knew it! This is so much fun! 181 00:09:40,160 --> 00:09:41,435 Oh, it really is. 182 00:09:42,640 --> 00:09:45,394 Oh, Leonard, thank you again. We love the gift. 183 00:09:45,520 --> 00:09:46,520 Aww. 184 00:09:47,680 --> 00:09:48,716 Does he know what it is? 185 00:09:48,800 --> 00:09:51,474 No, not even close. He thinks it's a clue to a scavenger hunt. 186 00:09:53,040 --> 00:09:54,394 So, so happy. 187 00:09:55,640 --> 00:09:57,096 Well, what is it? What did you give them? 188 00:09:57,120 --> 00:09:59,510 It's just this dumb crystal wand 189 00:09:59,600 --> 00:10:01,751 that Howard and Bernadette gave us for our wedding. 190 00:10:01,920 --> 00:10:03,752 Penny and I made each other miserable 191 00:10:03,840 --> 00:10:05,752 trying to figure out what it was and we thought, 192 00:10:05,840 --> 00:10:08,355 "Why not pass that fun along to Sheldon and Amy?" 193 00:10:09,600 --> 00:10:13,355 Wait a minute. Did you give them the crystal chakra wand 194 00:10:13,440 --> 00:10:14,954 that I gave you for your wedding? 195 00:10:17,720 --> 00:10:19,598 Yeah, that's exactly what we did. 196 00:10:20,080 --> 00:10:22,311 What the... You said you liked it. 197 00:10:22,480 --> 00:10:24,199 Yeah, that's exactly what I said. 198 00:10:33,080 --> 00:10:35,879 Wow. A scavenger hunt, 199 00:10:36,400 --> 00:10:37,595 that's exciting. 200 00:10:37,720 --> 00:10:40,394 I had a bit of a scavenger hunt myself last night. 201 00:10:40,800 --> 00:10:42,280 I was trying to find the remote. 202 00:10:42,360 --> 00:10:43,999 I looked under one of the cushions, 203 00:10:44,680 --> 00:10:45,875 wasn't there. 204 00:10:45,960 --> 00:10:47,758 Then I lifted the cushion a little higher, 205 00:10:47,880 --> 00:10:49,030 bingo. 206 00:10:51,120 --> 00:10:54,033 Riveting. So, do you know what it is? 207 00:10:54,320 --> 00:10:55,834 Of course I know what it is. 208 00:10:55,920 --> 00:10:57,832 It's a silicon dioxide crystal, 209 00:10:58,040 --> 00:10:59,838 otherwise known as quartz. 210 00:10:59,920 --> 00:11:01,149 But are you sure? 211 00:11:01,240 --> 00:11:02,515 Am I sure? 212 00:11:02,600 --> 00:11:05,559 Is basalt a mafic extrusive igneous rock 213 00:11:05,640 --> 00:11:09,077 formed by the rapid cooling of magnesium and iron-rich lava? 214 00:11:09,160 --> 00:11:10,160 Yeah, I'm sure. 215 00:11:11,640 --> 00:11:13,438 Okay, so it's quartz. 216 00:11:13,720 --> 00:11:16,189 It's got to mean something. What do we know about quartz? 217 00:11:16,280 --> 00:11:17,280 I'll google it. 218 00:11:17,680 --> 00:11:20,957 Or you can ask me, the geologist who won the MacArthur Genius Grant. 219 00:11:21,080 --> 00:11:22,080 Got it. 220 00:11:23,480 --> 00:11:25,949 Quartz, from the German "quarz," 221 00:11:26,040 --> 00:11:29,112 which sounds the same but is spelled without a "T." 222 00:11:29,480 --> 00:11:35,078 Interesting. No "T." What is not "T"? 223 00:11:35,840 --> 00:11:36,840 Coffee. 224 00:11:37,360 --> 00:11:39,033 The coffee shop where we first met. 225 00:11:39,240 --> 00:11:40,469 All right, let's go. 226 00:11:41,760 --> 00:11:45,674 Sorry, I think I just had an adrenaline rush from having visitors. 227 00:11:49,800 --> 00:11:51,917 Hey, Raj, will you smell something for me? 228 00:11:53,680 --> 00:11:56,718 Uh... That depends. Actually it doesn't depend, just no. 229 00:11:58,160 --> 00:12:01,232 I'm trying out some new colognes for my date with Denise. 230 00:12:01,320 --> 00:12:04,438 Oh, and you just came over here to rub it in my face that you have a date? 231 00:12:04,520 --> 00:12:07,319 No, I came over here because I need advice 232 00:12:07,400 --> 00:12:09,995 and you've gone out with more women than anybody I know. 233 00:12:10,080 --> 00:12:11,594 Huh. I guess you're right. 234 00:12:12,200 --> 00:12:13,600 Sheldon's the smart one, 235 00:12:13,680 --> 00:12:16,275 Howard's the funny one and apparently I'm the ladies' man. 236 00:12:18,320 --> 00:12:19,356 Which one's Leonard? 237 00:12:19,440 --> 00:12:22,000 Oh, yeah, right. I guess Leonard's the forgettable one. 238 00:12:22,600 --> 00:12:24,000 Okay, let's have a whiff. 239 00:12:26,800 --> 00:12:27,800 Hmm. 240 00:12:27,880 --> 00:12:29,394 Smells like Paco Rabanne. 241 00:12:29,480 --> 00:12:31,597 Oh, you're good. I bought it at a swap meet. 242 00:12:31,680 --> 00:12:34,036 It's actually called "Smells Like Paco Rabanne." 243 00:12:35,120 --> 00:12:36,440 It's great, she's gonna love it. 244 00:12:36,720 --> 00:12:41,158 I hope so. I really like Denise and I don't want to screw this up. 245 00:12:41,240 --> 00:12:42,469 Hey, relax. 246 00:12:42,960 --> 00:12:45,077 Trust your instincts. That's what I do. 247 00:12:46,600 --> 00:12:48,000 And that works for you? 248 00:12:50,200 --> 00:12:51,236 Actually, 249 00:12:52,440 --> 00:12:53,590 no. 250 00:12:54,720 --> 00:12:56,757 I've made a mess of my life and I'm... 251 00:12:57,320 --> 00:12:58,470 I'm all alone. 252 00:13:03,240 --> 00:13:05,072 Okay, I think it'd be best for both of us 253 00:13:05,160 --> 00:13:08,039 if I pretend to get a phone call and just walk away. 254 00:13:10,560 --> 00:13:11,755 Yeah, that would be best. 255 00:13:12,840 --> 00:13:14,069 Hello, this is Stuart. 256 00:13:15,720 --> 00:13:16,760 Sorry, I got to take this. 257 00:13:19,520 --> 00:13:21,000 Why, yes, I'd love to take a survey. 258 00:13:26,080 --> 00:13:29,437 Okay, this is where we first met. There's got to be a clue here somewhere. 259 00:13:29,520 --> 00:13:30,840 We sat at that table. 260 00:13:34,600 --> 00:13:36,876 - Excuse me! - I'm sorry. We're on a scavenger hunt. 261 00:13:36,960 --> 00:13:38,080 Just pretend we're not here. 262 00:13:38,120 --> 00:13:40,077 - Oh, I found something. - It's gum. 263 00:13:43,840 --> 00:13:45,433 Maybe they left it behind the counter. 264 00:13:46,360 --> 00:13:49,717 I met my wife here and we sat at this very table. 265 00:13:49,880 --> 00:13:51,400 Now, so, if you play your cards right, 266 00:13:51,480 --> 00:13:53,160 in eight years, you could marry this woman. 267 00:13:53,760 --> 00:13:55,080 That's my sister. 268 00:13:57,160 --> 00:13:59,038 Well, don't tell people. That's not okay. 269 00:14:01,200 --> 00:14:02,554 Sheldon, look. 270 00:14:02,640 --> 00:14:05,109 I asked the barista if anyone left anything for us 271 00:14:05,240 --> 00:14:07,436 and she said to look in this lost and found box. 272 00:14:07,560 --> 00:14:09,517 But why would it be in the lost and found box? 273 00:14:11,200 --> 00:14:13,999 Because we were lost and then we found each other. 274 00:14:15,120 --> 00:14:16,634 It makes perfect sense. 275 00:14:17,360 --> 00:14:19,272 Oh. And look at this. 276 00:14:19,560 --> 00:14:20,789 A locket. 277 00:14:20,920 --> 00:14:23,196 And that stone in front, I bet it's quartz. 278 00:14:23,280 --> 00:14:26,432 This must be it. This must be the actual gift. Open it up. What's inside? 279 00:14:27,360 --> 00:14:28,635 Nothing. It's empty. 280 00:14:29,800 --> 00:14:30,800 Of course. 281 00:14:31,280 --> 00:14:33,192 Our life together is just starting 282 00:14:33,280 --> 00:14:35,080 and they want us to fill it with our memories. 283 00:14:37,000 --> 00:14:39,515 This might be the best wedding gift ever. 284 00:14:40,560 --> 00:14:42,995 They also left us a pair of sunglasses 285 00:14:43,080 --> 00:14:44,560 because our future's so bright. 286 00:14:47,400 --> 00:14:48,959 They thought of everything. 287 00:14:53,680 --> 00:14:55,911 Oh, look what Halley drew. 288 00:14:56,160 --> 00:14:57,514 Yeah, she made it at daycare. 289 00:14:57,760 --> 00:14:58,955 It's pretty good, huh? 290 00:14:59,800 --> 00:15:00,836 Is it? 291 00:15:02,840 --> 00:15:04,593 Wow, gentile moms are tough. 292 00:15:07,040 --> 00:15:08,360 Guys, 293 00:15:08,440 --> 00:15:10,238 I need to show you something, 294 00:15:10,320 --> 00:15:12,676 but you have to promise not to make fun of me. 295 00:15:13,600 --> 00:15:14,954 Of course. 296 00:15:21,320 --> 00:15:22,515 Whoa. 297 00:15:23,400 --> 00:15:25,710 Yeah. I was worried about the date, 298 00:15:25,960 --> 00:15:29,237 so I got my hair colored to make me feel a little more confident. 299 00:15:29,320 --> 00:15:32,870 But that just made me look paler, so I got a spray tan. 300 00:15:33,320 --> 00:15:36,392 Have you tried showering? Seeing if you could scrub it off? 301 00:15:37,000 --> 00:15:38,070 I did. 302 00:15:38,840 --> 00:15:40,274 You're gonna need some new towels 303 00:15:41,960 --> 00:15:43,519 and a bathmat 304 00:15:45,040 --> 00:15:46,235 and toilet seat. 305 00:15:52,240 --> 00:15:54,118 I'm picking her up in an hour. 306 00:15:56,320 --> 00:15:57,549 What am I gonna do? 307 00:15:59,040 --> 00:16:01,430 You mean what are you gonna "Oompa Loompa doompety do"? 308 00:16:03,360 --> 00:16:05,556 You said you weren't gonna make any jokes. 309 00:16:05,640 --> 00:16:07,552 I'm sorry, I'll stop. 310 00:16:10,560 --> 00:16:13,359 It's only a spray tan. It'll fade in a couple days. 311 00:16:13,440 --> 00:16:15,432 Why don't you cancel the date and reschedule? 312 00:16:16,280 --> 00:16:18,000 But I was really looking forward to tonight. 313 00:16:18,400 --> 00:16:20,756 You know what, then go. Tell her what happened. 314 00:16:20,880 --> 00:16:22,030 Maybe she'll be flattered. 315 00:16:22,120 --> 00:16:23,873 And if not, swing by the chocolate factory 316 00:16:23,960 --> 00:16:25,917 and see if they're hiring. 317 00:16:27,080 --> 00:16:29,400 What? That wasn't a joke, that was a legitimate suggestion. 318 00:16:35,560 --> 00:16:36,880 <i>Hello.</i> 319 00:16:36,960 --> 00:16:38,474 - Hey, Dad. - Rajesh! 320 00:16:38,560 --> 00:16:41,359 What a nice surprise, calling me on my birthday. 321 00:16:42,720 --> 00:16:45,155 Yes. That's why I'm calling. 322 00:16:46,520 --> 00:16:50,639 And what better gift to give you than the gift of marrying an Indian woman. 323 00:16:50,720 --> 00:16:51,936 Just like you've always wanted. 324 00:16:51,960 --> 00:16:55,112 My goodness, Rajesh, this is exciting news. Who is she? 325 00:16:55,200 --> 00:16:56,475 You tell me. 326 00:16:57,160 --> 00:16:58,435 What? 327 00:16:59,920 --> 00:17:01,718 I want you to arrange a marriage for me. 328 00:17:02,320 --> 00:17:06,030 I'm just so tired of being single and I'm finally... 329 00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:08,039 Just I'm ready to settle down. 330 00:17:08,960 --> 00:17:12,636 I can't just call up some girl's dad and make her marry you. 331 00:17:13,200 --> 00:17:14,919 It's not 2015 anymore. 332 00:17:16,520 --> 00:17:19,274 I know that, but I can't do this on my own. I need your help. 333 00:17:19,920 --> 00:17:23,072 Well, then I'm going to need your help, too. 334 00:17:23,800 --> 00:17:26,190 If I'm going to find a woman to set you up with, 335 00:17:26,600 --> 00:17:28,717 you're going to need to stop instagramming 336 00:17:28,800 --> 00:17:31,554 pictures of you and your dog wearing matching sweaters. 337 00:17:33,240 --> 00:17:35,560 Fine, if that's what it takes to show you that I'm serious. 338 00:17:36,240 --> 00:17:38,550 Quick question, do you mean just Instagram 339 00:17:38,640 --> 00:17:40,040 - or all my social... - All of them! 340 00:17:41,760 --> 00:17:43,240 Okay, deal. 341 00:17:43,320 --> 00:17:44,640 All right, 342 00:17:45,160 --> 00:17:46,389 let me ask you a question. 343 00:17:47,000 --> 00:17:48,280 What do you think of this woman? 344 00:17:49,360 --> 00:17:51,955 Oh, my God, she's beautiful. 345 00:17:52,040 --> 00:17:53,720 Is that who you're going to set me up with? 346 00:17:54,080 --> 00:17:56,151 No! That's who I'm dating. 347 00:17:59,760 --> 00:18:01,353 But maybe she has an older sister. 348 00:18:06,080 --> 00:18:07,719 So, we put a little picture of me 349 00:18:08,160 --> 00:18:09,680 and a little picture of Sheldon in it. 350 00:18:15,360 --> 00:18:16,999 In the locket? 351 00:18:18,040 --> 00:18:19,315 Yes. 352 00:18:19,800 --> 00:18:22,315 That was in a lost and found box? 353 00:18:23,800 --> 00:18:25,075 Exactly. 354 00:18:25,600 --> 00:18:27,000 Where we hid it? 355 00:18:28,120 --> 00:18:30,157 You see, really, you gave us three amazing gifts. 356 00:18:30,240 --> 00:18:34,280 You gave us the locket, the adventure and the realization that Amy and I 357 00:18:34,360 --> 00:18:36,716 can do anything as long as we work together. 358 00:18:38,000 --> 00:18:40,276 - We wrote you a special thank you note. - Oh. 359 00:18:43,320 --> 00:18:44,549 Are those words? 360 00:18:47,440 --> 00:18:48,440 No. 361 00:18:49,440 --> 00:18:53,070 It's a secret code that you two get to figure out together. 362 00:18:55,200 --> 00:19:00,116 Hint, it's based on Sanskrit, but not the Sanskrit you're thinking of. 363 00:19:02,560 --> 00:19:05,871 And best of all, you can't use the Internet to cheat. 364 00:19:06,120 --> 00:19:08,112 Because we locked you out of your Wi-Fi, 365 00:19:08,200 --> 00:19:09,998 and the answer to this is your new password. 366 00:19:15,720 --> 00:19:17,074 I'm no longer happy. 367 00:19:19,480 --> 00:19:20,480 Hey, guys. 368 00:19:20,640 --> 00:19:21,835 Great news. 369 00:19:22,640 --> 00:19:23,790 I'm getting married! 370 00:19:23,880 --> 00:19:24,880 - What? - No. 371 00:19:27,720 --> 00:19:29,757 Well, I haven't met her yet, 372 00:19:29,840 --> 00:19:31,752 but her name is Anu. 373 00:19:32,000 --> 00:19:33,696 My father says she comes from a good family, 374 00:19:33,720 --> 00:19:36,633 she's in her 30s, she works in hospitality management. 375 00:19:36,720 --> 00:19:39,440 So, as long as I can get through six to ten dates 376 00:19:39,520 --> 00:19:41,398 without revealing my true self, 377 00:19:43,440 --> 00:19:44,476 this is happening. 378 00:19:46,640 --> 00:19:48,950 I know just what we're giving them for a wedding gift. 379 00:19:58,240 --> 00:19:59,240 Oh! 380 00:20:01,240 --> 00:20:02,435 Oh, my God! 381 00:20:03,520 --> 00:20:04,556 Yeah. 382 00:20:04,740 --> 00:20:07,574 I wanted to look my best for our date, 383 00:20:08,380 --> 00:20:11,373 and I made a series of bad decisions. 384 00:20:13,580 --> 00:20:16,971 One of which is hidden by my pants. 385 00:20:19,380 --> 00:20:20,380 Wow. 386 00:20:21,500 --> 00:20:23,776 Do you still wanna go out with me? 387 00:20:23,860 --> 00:20:24,976 Absolutely. 388 00:20:25,860 --> 00:20:27,897 Hey, maybe we can go find Nemo together. 389 00:20:29,700 --> 00:20:30,770 That's a good one. 390 00:20:32,060 --> 00:20:35,132 Mmm. Do your 63 other crayon friends know you're out? 391 00:20:35,900 --> 00:20:37,436 Are you just gonna make fun of me all night? 392 00:20:37,460 --> 00:20:38,496 Probably. 393 00:20:38,580 --> 00:20:40,253 Great! So, what are we thinking, Chinese? 394 00:20:40,340 --> 00:20:42,377 Yeah, I'm in the mood for orange chicken. 394 00:20:43,305 --> 00:21:43,722 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org