"QI" Long Lost

1 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074 Watch Online Movies and Series for FREE www.osdb.link/lm 2 00:00:32,360 --> 00:00:35,120 Bonsoir, guten abend, guten abend, guten abend, guten abend, 3 00:00:35,120 --> 00:00:36,668 good evening, good evening, good evening, good evening, 4 00:00:36,692 --> 00:00:38,900 and welcome, willkommen, bienvenue, 5 00:00:38,900 --> 00:00:44,096 noch a QI, where tonight, at long last, it's the Long Lost show. 6 00:00:44,120 --> 00:00:46,640 Let's meet the long-trousered Jimmy Carr. 7 00:00:49,880 --> 00:00:52,920 The long-suffering Claudia O'Doherty. 8 00:00:55,840 --> 00:00:58,480 The long-awaited Suggs. 9 00:01:01,440 --> 00:01:05,120 And a lost cause, Alan Davies. 10 00:01:09,800 --> 00:01:12,708 And now for some long-form buzzers. 11 00:01:12,732 --> 00:01:13,500 Jimmy goes... 12 00:01:17,840 --> 00:01:20,920 That is long-form. 13 00:01:20,920 --> 00:01:22,840 - I'm not finished. - Thank you. 14 00:01:22,840 --> 00:01:24,160 Claudia goes... 15 00:01:30,320 --> 00:01:32,320 It's going to be a very long show. 16 00:01:33,320 --> 00:01:35,800 Sometimes we shorten the cues, you'd be surprised. Suggs goes... 17 00:01:39,360 --> 00:01:41,000 I thought as much. 18 00:01:45,400 --> 00:01:46,880 That's better. 19 00:01:46,880 --> 00:01:48,040 And Alan goes... 20 00:01:59,760 --> 00:02:01,600 Ah, ooh, bitter, very bitter. 21 00:02:01,600 --> 00:02:05,436 Now, we haven't been going long and already I've lost a lavatory, 22 00:02:05,460 --> 00:02:09,580 so if you spot it, let me know by playing your Spend a Penny. 23 00:02:09,580 --> 00:02:11,500 Spend a Penny and if you're right... 24 00:02:14,780 --> 00:02:16,100 ...there'll be points. 25 00:02:16,100 --> 00:02:18,068 If you're wrong, there may be deductions, it's up to me to decide. 26 00:02:18,092 --> 00:02:19,576 But that's your joker. 27 00:02:19,600 --> 00:02:24,560 So, how could living in a tiny flat stop you from losing your marbles? 28 00:02:25,560 --> 00:02:26,960 Yes, Claudia? 29 00:02:26,960 --> 00:02:29,188 If you had a very small house, 30 00:02:29,212 --> 00:02:32,520 you wouldn't be worried that there was a killer in the next room. 31 00:02:33,020 --> 00:02:35,860 That's something that I worry about in my house. 32 00:02:35,860 --> 00:02:37,460 - Do you? - Yes. 33 00:02:37,484 --> 00:02:40,956 But if it was small, very small, one room, I would be fine, 34 00:02:40,980 --> 00:02:43,420 I wouldn't be scared at all. 35 00:02:43,420 --> 00:02:47,400 Wouldn't you need a Jodie Foster-style sort of safe...? 36 00:02:47,400 --> 00:02:48,500 - A panic room. - The panic room. 37 00:02:48,500 --> 00:02:49,868 Well, the whole house is the panic room. 38 00:02:49,892 --> 00:02:51,940 - Oh, well, I guess it would be. - If it's a small flat, yeah. 39 00:02:51,940 --> 00:02:52,988 I guess it is, isn't it? 40 00:02:53,012 --> 00:02:55,740 Yes. So how many points do I get for that? 41 00:02:57,380 --> 00:02:59,948 I think you may have come in with a rather optimistic frame of mind here. 42 00:02:59,972 --> 00:03:00,820 OK, right. 43 00:03:00,820 --> 00:03:02,108 Do you watch too many of these horror films 44 00:03:02,132 --> 00:03:05,140 where it's always the phone call came from in the house? 45 00:03:06,140 --> 00:03:07,140 Yeah. 46 00:03:07,140 --> 00:03:08,908 Well, if they're not in the house, they can't get you. 47 00:03:08,932 --> 00:03:11,260 Your horror movies sound fine. 48 00:03:11,260 --> 00:03:14,308 There's so many genres and sometimes there's the cabin in the woods genre, 49 00:03:14,332 --> 00:03:16,300 - high school ones, different kinds. - There's camp ones. 50 00:03:16,300 --> 00:03:17,548 - Camp ones, exactly. - Yep. 51 00:03:17,572 --> 00:03:20,780 - I mean, not camp in the sense of... - No, no. 52 00:03:20,804 --> 00:03:22,500 But camp horror would be quite fun, wouldn't it? 53 00:03:22,500 --> 00:03:24,708 "Ooh! Ooh!" 54 00:03:25,732 --> 00:03:27,500 "Ooh! You gave me a start!" 55 00:03:30,720 --> 00:03:32,640 I think you've created a genre right there. 56 00:03:32,640 --> 00:03:35,800 I think I may have done. I think I may. 57 00:03:35,800 --> 00:03:37,760 "Oh, something just stabbed me in the back!" 58 00:03:44,800 --> 00:03:47,480 Oh, dear, oh, dear, oh, dear, oh, dear. 59 00:03:47,480 --> 00:03:51,000 Let's come back at the same time tomorrow. 60 00:03:51,500 --> 00:03:53,600 "What are you doing in the woods?" "Well..." 61 00:03:57,000 --> 00:03:58,700 Behave, all of you. 62 00:03:58,700 --> 00:04:00,800 Now, let's return to the question, which was, Suggs...? 63 00:04:00,800 --> 00:04:05,500 It was why would you be less likely to lose your marbles in a small flat? 64 00:04:06,000 --> 00:04:07,740 Apart from the fact if you're playing marbles, 65 00:04:07,740 --> 00:04:09,868 there's less distance for them to go. 66 00:04:09,892 --> 00:04:11,580 That's a very good thought. 67 00:04:11,580 --> 00:04:12,940 It's actually, we're actually being figurative here. 68 00:04:12,940 --> 00:04:15,340 It's a very common thing that happens, when you've gone 69 00:04:15,340 --> 00:04:19,820 into a room and you've forgotten what you've gone into it for. You know. 70 00:04:19,820 --> 00:04:23,340 I've had that in... I had that at the Hammersmith Apollo once. 71 00:04:24,340 --> 00:04:26,068 Walked out on stage and went, "What have I...? 72 00:04:26,092 --> 00:04:27,660 "Oh, jokes, right. OK." 73 00:04:28,780 --> 00:04:31,540 I have a good thing I do so I don't do that, though, 74 00:04:31,540 --> 00:04:34,420 which is, if I'm looking for a thing, so I don't forget what that thing is, 75 00:04:34,420 --> 00:04:38,420 I just start saying the thing, so I just go, "keys, keys, keys, keys." 76 00:04:38,420 --> 00:04:38,988 That's right! 77 00:04:39,012 --> 00:04:42,020 And then I find the keys. Pretty cool. You're welcome. 78 00:04:42,020 --> 00:04:44,608 There was a study at "Notre Dame", 79 00:04:44,632 --> 00:04:47,500 "Notre Dame", as they call it in America, University, which discovered 80 00:04:47,500 --> 00:04:52,936 that the key thing that makes you forget is crossing a threshold. 81 00:04:52,960 --> 00:04:54,960 In other words, going from one room to another. 82 00:04:54,960 --> 00:04:57,400 If you have a one-room flat, it's unlikely to happen. 83 00:04:57,400 --> 00:04:59,280 I don't want to stick on the horror theme too much, 84 00:04:59,280 --> 00:05:01,500 but if there's a vampire, then, and they're planning to kill you, 85 00:05:01,500 --> 00:05:05,060 and they have to be invited into the house, by tradition... 86 00:05:05,060 --> 00:05:07,068 ...and they cross the threshold, is there a chance when you invite them in, 87 00:05:07,092 --> 00:05:10,234 - they go, "I forgot why came in." - Indeed. Not only that... 88 00:05:10,258 --> 00:05:12,620 ...if they're chasing you from one room to another. 89 00:05:12,620 --> 00:05:14,980 Yeah, they keep going: "Why did I come into the kitchen?" 90 00:05:14,980 --> 00:05:19,140 "Bite him in the neck, bite him in the neck, bite him in the neck..." 91 00:05:19,140 --> 00:05:21,500 - "Blood, blood, blood, blood." - That's exactly it. 92 00:05:21,500 --> 00:05:23,020 There's something that happens in the brain. 93 00:05:23,020 --> 00:05:25,788 It may be an evolutionary thing when you move from one sort of landscape 94 00:05:25,812 --> 00:05:29,268 from a thicket to open country as it were, the equivalent of a threshold, 95 00:05:29,292 --> 00:05:32,588 that for some reason, you no longer need the same tools 96 00:05:32,612 --> 00:05:35,108 to cope with that particular environment or habitat, 97 00:05:35,132 --> 00:05:37,660 and so you, you know, we somehow seem to forget it. 98 00:05:37,684 --> 00:05:40,140 But, I mean, for instance, if you were in B&Q, 99 00:05:40,140 --> 00:05:43,700 that's one big room, isn't it? I mean, you don't cross any thresholds. But... 100 00:05:43,700 --> 00:05:46,860 That's true, when you go in there, you do forget everything you were meant to... 101 00:05:46,860 --> 00:05:49,388 I meant to get those Rawlplugs and the other things... 102 00:05:49,412 --> 00:05:50,948 - You forget the day. - The butt plugs. 103 00:05:50,972 --> 00:05:52,748 The reason why you're alive. 104 00:05:52,772 --> 00:05:54,100 Where the car is, who you're married to. 105 00:05:54,100 --> 00:05:56,660 Why you haven't killed yourself earlier. 106 00:05:56,660 --> 00:05:58,820 Oh, Suggs, Suggs! Let's not go down there. 107 00:05:58,820 --> 00:06:02,180 No, but I'm just saying, it is one big room. I mean, it is a big room, isn't it? 108 00:06:02,180 --> 00:06:02,828 Yeah. 109 00:06:02,852 --> 00:06:05,980 Well, yeah, crossing a threshold makes you lose your thread. 110 00:06:05,980 --> 00:06:09,940 What's the world's longest living thing? 111 00:06:11,900 --> 00:06:13,620 Suggs? 112 00:06:14,620 --> 00:06:15,860 A giant redwood. 113 00:06:16,360 --> 00:06:20,400 Good answer. Not correct, but good. They do live a very, very long time. 114 00:06:20,400 --> 00:06:22,240 - And it's not a klaxon. - There is a clam. 115 00:06:22,240 --> 00:06:22,900 A clam? 116 00:06:22,900 --> 00:06:27,200 A clam that some scientists killed last year, that was 500 years old. 117 00:06:27,200 --> 00:06:29,600 - That some scientists killed? - Yeah, it was an accident. 118 00:06:29,600 --> 00:06:33,520 But they were like, "Guys, great news, we've found the oldest thing in the world!" 119 00:06:33,520 --> 00:06:37,720 "We killed it, but it's really old." 120 00:06:37,720 --> 00:06:39,600 And it was over 500 years old. 121 00:06:39,600 --> 00:06:42,920 This is well over 500 years old. Possibly immortal. 122 00:06:42,920 --> 00:06:44,600 Is that picture a clue? 123 00:06:44,600 --> 00:06:47,360 There is some there, I think, well, you can see... 124 00:06:47,360 --> 00:06:48,500 Shall we have a klaxon? Do you want a klaxon? 125 00:06:48,500 --> 00:06:51,500 - What are you going to say? - Brucie. 126 00:06:58,480 --> 00:07:00,500 The biggest thing in the world, got to have a bit of fun. 127 00:07:00,500 --> 00:07:02,788 Obviously if you're watching this... 128 00:07:02,812 --> 00:07:04,920 - Love, respect, everything. - Yeah. 129 00:07:04,920 --> 00:07:08,040 He loves the show. I invite him on, and he just, kind of... 130 00:07:08,040 --> 00:07:10,920 He said, "Look, I never went to any school, I don't really know anything." 131 00:07:10,920 --> 00:07:12,828 He knows loads of stuff, he's brilliant to hang out with. 132 00:07:12,852 --> 00:07:13,720 I know! He's fantastic. 133 00:07:13,720 --> 00:07:15,628 The problem with asking him to do things 134 00:07:15,652 --> 00:07:18,480 is he lives in a house with a lot of rooms. 135 00:07:21,560 --> 00:07:23,828 Just off one of the halls in Wentworth, I think, 136 00:07:23,852 --> 00:07:25,000 is where he lives, isn't it, cos that's... 137 00:07:25,000 --> 00:07:25,868 Lichen! 138 00:07:25,892 --> 00:07:29,120 Yes, is the right answer. Lichen. 139 00:07:29,120 --> 00:07:29,948 But no... 140 00:07:29,972 --> 00:07:32,500 Nothing to do with the lavatory, but we don't count that as playing it. 141 00:07:32,500 --> 00:07:34,636 It is lichen, lichen, there it is. 142 00:07:34,660 --> 00:07:36,700 How many forms of life make up lichen, as it were? 143 00:07:36,700 --> 00:07:39,580 Well, I don't even understand the question, how many forms of life? 144 00:07:39,580 --> 00:07:42,580 Well, you know, sometimes you get symbiosis, which creates what 145 00:07:42,580 --> 00:07:45,300 seems to be one thing but is in fact made up of other things. 146 00:07:45,300 --> 00:07:47,780 - Okey doke. - Things living together, symbiotic. 147 00:07:47,780 --> 00:07:51,220 And this is two organisms, it's fungus and algae. 148 00:07:51,220 --> 00:07:52,548 - Fungus and algae. - Yeah. 149 00:07:52,572 --> 00:07:53,500 - Living together. - Yeah, that's right. 150 00:07:53,500 --> 00:07:55,828 Is it, we're making the worst ever sitcom? 151 00:07:55,852 --> 00:07:56,780 The fungus... 152 00:07:56,780 --> 00:07:58,908 They're living together but they don't get on. 153 00:07:58,932 --> 00:07:59,940 Oh, they're so very different. 154 00:07:59,940 --> 00:08:03,180 Fungus the Bogeyman and Algy, Algy from Biggles. 155 00:08:03,180 --> 00:08:05,340 I've got Ebony and Ivory in my head now. 156 00:08:06,700 --> 00:08:07,988 Fungus and Algae. 157 00:08:07,988 --> 00:08:08,940 Well, the fungus provides a cosy environment 158 00:08:08,940 --> 00:08:12,180 and the algae has the equipment to photosynthesise, 159 00:08:12,180 --> 00:08:14,812 and they live happily together on stones 160 00:08:14,836 --> 00:08:16,748 - and in incredible environments. - That's the oldest thing? 161 00:08:16,772 --> 00:08:19,060 Well, there's a 9,000 years old one in Lapland, 162 00:08:19,060 --> 00:08:21,940 probably the world's oldest living thing, as far as we know. 163 00:08:21,940 --> 00:08:25,820 They're everywhere. They're the dominant vegetation on 8% of the world's surface. 164 00:08:25,820 --> 00:08:28,388 Not just they exist there, they are the dominant vegetation. 165 00:08:28,412 --> 00:08:30,268 They can be very tasty. There's a... 166 00:08:30,292 --> 00:08:32,860 Pete Townshend, you know, you remember Pete Townshend. 167 00:08:32,860 --> 00:08:36,740 No, I don't mean Pete Townshend. That can't be right. 168 00:08:36,740 --> 00:08:39,740 Go in another room, see if you'll remember. 169 00:08:40,740 --> 00:08:42,700 Pete Waterman. 170 00:08:42,700 --> 00:08:45,380 Pete Waterman. Two very different animals. 171 00:08:45,380 --> 00:08:47,060 They are, very different. 172 00:08:47,060 --> 00:08:49,580 That's a very different set of jokes in my head. 173 00:08:49,580 --> 00:08:54,220 - I've got very little in that category. - Neither of them are acceptable. 174 00:08:54,220 --> 00:08:55,380 Dear, oh, dear! 175 00:08:55,380 --> 00:08:58,100 So, Pete Waterman, his hobbies. 176 00:08:59,100 --> 00:09:00,500 Model railway collecting. 177 00:09:00,500 --> 00:09:02,300 - Model railways, very good. - Yes, yes. 178 00:09:02,300 --> 00:09:03,948 Where might you use lichen or...? 179 00:09:03,972 --> 00:09:06,460 All over his face. No, sorry, no. 180 00:09:06,460 --> 00:09:07,908 I don't know what I thought there. 181 00:09:07,932 --> 00:09:09,460 There's a kind of lichen that's known as Caribou Moss, 182 00:09:09,460 --> 00:09:12,580 so it's a moss-like lichen. And that's it there. 183 00:09:12,580 --> 00:09:15,380 And it's used by model railway enthusiasts for what? 184 00:09:15,380 --> 00:09:16,500 - Oh, who put that... - Grass. 185 00:09:16,500 --> 00:09:17,508 - To create grass. - Not grass. 186 00:09:17,532 --> 00:09:19,500 - Bushes. - Bushes and trees. 187 00:09:19,500 --> 00:09:22,500 Hang on a second, can we take a moment to look at that photo and ask 188 00:09:22,500 --> 00:09:24,620 what the hell is going on there? 189 00:09:24,620 --> 00:09:27,660 That feels to me like a zoo with an enclosure that's just gone... 190 00:09:27,660 --> 00:09:29,780 "Stick 'em in together." 191 00:09:29,780 --> 00:09:33,740 "There's been some budget cuts, they can work it out." 192 00:09:34,740 --> 00:09:36,740 You can't put them in with them! 193 00:09:36,740 --> 00:09:39,620 - Yes, you can. - A lot of those guys need water. 194 00:09:40,620 --> 00:09:42,548 Well, it's very near the coast, as you can see. 195 00:09:42,572 --> 00:09:43,620 How is that near the coast? 196 00:09:43,620 --> 00:09:46,540 It's slithering down, all the little waters running down to the sea. 197 00:09:46,540 --> 00:09:49,580 Look at the poor fat fella at the back. 198 00:09:49,580 --> 00:09:52,476 Look at him. He's just stranded there going, well... 199 00:09:53,500 --> 00:09:54,980 It does look a bit odd... 200 00:09:54,980 --> 00:09:57,660 "Hello, this feels wrong. Hello?" 201 00:09:57,660 --> 00:10:00,660 "I shouldn't be in with the deer. Hello?" 202 00:10:01,660 --> 00:10:03,828 The photographer is giving his usual lie, which is, 203 00:10:03,852 --> 00:10:05,340 "Just one more, just one more." 204 00:10:05,340 --> 00:10:09,300 "Hello? The deer have drunk all the water!" 205 00:10:13,420 --> 00:10:15,380 They are reindeer. 206 00:10:19,740 --> 00:10:21,588 Come on, that's bloody good! 207 00:10:22,612 --> 00:10:23,540 "Rain-deer." 208 00:10:23,540 --> 00:10:27,500 But lichen, "liken, litchen," however you want to say it. 209 00:10:27,500 --> 00:10:32,100 Comes from the Greek, "leikhein", to lick, as limpets they lick rocks, it seems. 210 00:10:32,100 --> 00:10:35,908 That's how people interpret it. There seems to be no clear consensus 211 00:10:35,932 --> 00:10:37,028 - as to whether it is lichen. - Or cane toads. 212 00:10:37,052 --> 00:10:39,380 Or cane toads, exactly. "Liken" or "litchen". 213 00:10:39,380 --> 00:10:42,140 But as the great performance poet Rory Motion put it, 214 00:10:42,140 --> 00:10:45,940 "You call it liken, I call it lichen, let's call the whole thing moss." 215 00:10:47,580 --> 00:10:49,100 Now what's... 216 00:10:50,100 --> 00:10:55,460 What's long, begins with L and gets you sleepy, horny and pregnant? 217 00:10:55,460 --> 00:10:56,988 Suggsie. 218 00:10:57,012 --> 00:10:57,780 Lunch. 219 00:10:59,900 --> 00:11:01,340 Well, that's pretty true. 220 00:11:01,340 --> 00:11:04,420 How do you know the pet name I've got for my penis? 221 00:11:06,500 --> 00:11:08,940 That's just terrible. 222 00:11:08,940 --> 00:11:10,040 Is it Larry? 223 00:11:10,040 --> 00:11:11,920 "Is it Larry?" 224 00:11:13,440 --> 00:11:15,500 "Meet Larry." 225 00:11:15,500 --> 00:11:18,360 I would think it's probably Lancelot. 226 00:11:20,560 --> 00:11:23,400 Oh, my goodness! 227 00:11:23,400 --> 00:11:27,880 Well, it's actually called Lancelot, because of all the boils. 228 00:11:32,400 --> 00:11:36,000 Hey, they booked ME, what were they hoping for? 229 00:11:36,000 --> 00:11:38,000 So it's horny, sleepy...? 230 00:11:38,000 --> 00:11:40,160 Horny, sleepy, pregnant, yeah. 231 00:11:40,160 --> 00:11:42,040 Is it, it sounds like Rohypnol. 232 00:11:42,500 --> 00:11:43,120 No. 233 00:11:43,120 --> 00:11:44,720 Lying down? 234 00:11:44,720 --> 00:11:47,120 Lying down would kind of make you feel all those things. 235 00:11:47,120 --> 00:11:48,680 This is a foodstuff. 236 00:11:48,680 --> 00:11:51,280 - That makes you pregnant. - Leeks. 237 00:11:51,280 --> 00:11:53,280 Leeks, good, good, you're in the right area, 238 00:11:53,280 --> 00:11:55,148 you're in the vegetable garden. That's where I want you to be. 239 00:11:55,172 --> 00:11:57,240 Legumes? 240 00:11:58,320 --> 00:12:00,080 - Lettuce. - Lettuce. 241 00:12:00,080 --> 00:12:01,492 Lettuce is the right answer. 242 00:12:01,492 --> 00:12:02,500 - What? - Lettuce. 243 00:12:02,500 --> 00:12:05,468 Ooh, look at that. Phwoar! 244 00:12:05,492 --> 00:12:08,320 Oh, Stephen, oh! 245 00:12:08,320 --> 00:12:10,160 This is a family show, take it away. 246 00:12:10,160 --> 00:12:13,080 Imagine if those Inuits were here now, eh, forget the lichen, 247 00:12:13,080 --> 00:12:19,040 - let me at that. - I would ride that like a stolen bike. 248 00:12:19,040 --> 00:12:20,840 You're bad. 249 00:12:20,840 --> 00:12:22,680 Who gets horny looking at lettuce? 250 00:12:22,680 --> 00:12:24,440 Are you now pregnant? 251 00:12:24,440 --> 00:12:28,200 Hippocrates, the father of medicine, 252 00:12:28,200 --> 00:12:32,200 as was known, his name lives on in the Hippocratic oath, which is, 253 00:12:32,200 --> 00:12:35,920 "Oh, fuck, I've killed him again!" 254 00:12:35,920 --> 00:12:37,200 Again? 255 00:12:37,224 --> 00:12:38,224 Thank you. 256 00:12:38,224 --> 00:12:39,628 "I've killed another." 257 00:12:39,652 --> 00:12:41,800 "I've killed another", that's what I meant to say. 258 00:12:41,800 --> 00:12:45,040 Hippocrates lived on an island that was that shape. 259 00:12:45,040 --> 00:12:48,788 And it was called the island of Kos, but the island was named after the lettuce, 260 00:12:48,812 --> 00:12:51,360 because Kos was the Arabic for lettuce. 261 00:12:51,360 --> 00:12:53,560 Kos, it was the Arabic for lettuce. 262 00:12:53,560 --> 00:12:56,040 # Because, because, because, because, because! # 263 00:12:56,040 --> 00:13:01,028 He described its opiate qualities, as did Beatrix Potter, in Peter Rabbit. 264 00:13:01,052 --> 00:13:01,480 Soporific? 265 00:13:01,480 --> 00:13:05,000 Soporific was exactly the word she used, very good. Points for that. 266 00:13:05,000 --> 00:13:07,708 And they very nearly ended up in Mrs McGregor's rabbit pie 267 00:13:07,732 --> 00:13:08,720 as a result of falling asleep. 268 00:13:08,720 --> 00:13:11,520 Anyway, yes, lettuce is slightly soporific-making. 269 00:13:11,520 --> 00:13:13,560 However, it's been bred less and less so. 270 00:13:13,560 --> 00:13:17,520 But wild lettuce in really strong quantities. 271 00:13:17,520 --> 00:13:19,960 Rather than, Claudia, it making you feel sleepy, it makes you feel...? 272 00:13:20,960 --> 00:13:21,280 Horny. 273 00:13:21,280 --> 00:13:24,200 Horny. Horny. Horny and bouncy. 274 00:13:24,200 --> 00:13:25,948 Right. We'll see. 275 00:13:25,972 --> 00:13:27,068 And therefore it's a kind of stimulant, 276 00:13:27,092 --> 00:13:30,240 which is tropane alkaloid, which is the same as is found in cocaine. 277 00:13:31,240 --> 00:13:33,700 And so it can give you a bit of a kick. 278 00:13:33,700 --> 00:13:36,560 I'm getting down the greengrocers. 279 00:13:36,560 --> 00:13:39,160 Well, they did try and sell it in America under names like 280 00:13:39,160 --> 00:13:43,000 L'Opium, with an L, and an apostrophe, and Lettucene. 281 00:13:43,000 --> 00:13:44,480 But most were made from ordinary garden lettuce. 282 00:13:44,480 --> 00:13:47,760 It has to be wild lettuce that you find. And it shouldn't be fed to rabbits, 283 00:13:47,760 --> 00:13:49,600 cos it upsets their tummies, actually. 284 00:13:49,600 --> 00:13:51,588 Peter Rabbit went back to the garden 285 00:13:51,612 --> 00:13:54,520 of the farmer who'd put his own father in a pie. 286 00:13:54,520 --> 00:13:57,588 Yeah. Mr MacGregor. There's kind of revenge in there. 287 00:13:57,612 --> 00:14:00,400 Don't go down there, he put your father in a pie. 288 00:14:00,400 --> 00:14:05,280 Yeah. What he should have said is, "Hello, my name is Don Peter Rabbit". 289 00:14:05,280 --> 00:14:07,480 "You killed my father, prepare to die." 290 00:14:12,600 --> 00:14:15,880 Big lumps of lettuce in one hand, a shooter in the other. 291 00:14:18,200 --> 00:14:21,600 Victorian picnickers wrapped lettuce around what, for picnics? 292 00:14:21,600 --> 00:14:23,320 - Their penises. - Meat? 293 00:14:25,640 --> 00:14:28,000 That's, if in doubt, it's going to be a knob. 294 00:14:28,000 --> 00:14:29,268 It is a knob. 295 00:14:29,292 --> 00:14:31,440 - The word knob is used with this substance. - Butter? 296 00:14:31,440 --> 00:14:34,840 Yes! That's absolutely right. They'd wrap it round butter to keep it cool. Yeah. 297 00:14:34,840 --> 00:14:37,268 - Yeah, there it is. - What do they wrap round their penises? 298 00:14:37,292 --> 00:14:39,480 - I don't know. - Butter. 299 00:14:39,480 --> 00:14:43,468 And don't new mothers put cabbage leaves in their bras 300 00:14:43,492 --> 00:14:46,388 to cool their cracked, sore nipples? 301 00:14:46,412 --> 00:14:47,120 Yep. 302 00:14:47,120 --> 00:14:50,040 - I didn't know that, is that true? - Yeah. 303 00:14:51,500 --> 00:14:53,400 Cracking of the nipple is not a laughing matter. 304 00:14:53,400 --> 00:14:55,628 - No, I wouldn't want... - Not a laughing matter. 305 00:14:55,652 --> 00:14:56,240 Oh, ouch. 306 00:14:56,700 --> 00:14:59,320 And it doesn't make the baby any less hungry. 307 00:14:59,320 --> 00:15:02,280 And is it any easier if you express into a machine, or is that worse? 308 00:15:02,500 --> 00:15:03,400 Well... 309 00:15:06,200 --> 00:15:07,920 I don't know all the details. 310 00:15:07,920 --> 00:15:09,120 No. 311 00:15:10,760 --> 00:15:13,500 You agreed to do two-thirds of the nappy work, 312 00:15:13,500 --> 00:15:16,320 quite a lot of the driving round in a car when it's screaming. 313 00:15:16,320 --> 00:15:19,040 I just remember the "Argh, ooh, argh!" 314 00:15:19,500 --> 00:15:21,640 But it's a great way for new mums to express themselves. 315 00:15:22,640 --> 00:15:23,760 Quite. 316 00:15:23,760 --> 00:15:27,200 - It's a cruel, cruel business... - You're really groany today. 317 00:15:27,200 --> 00:15:29,120 - It's just a joke. Relax. - It's because... 318 00:15:30,320 --> 00:15:35,560 Anyway, lettuce is good for all sorts of things, except rabbits, apparently. 319 00:15:35,560 --> 00:15:38,280 What's the world's longest experiment? 320 00:15:38,280 --> 00:15:40,960 QI. 321 00:15:40,960 --> 00:15:43,560 That's certainly possibly the world's longest failed experiment. 322 00:15:43,560 --> 00:15:46,508 I've definitely had a couple of double physics 323 00:15:46,532 --> 00:15:48,360 on a Wednesday afternoon that dragged. 324 00:15:48,360 --> 00:15:50,280 Hmm, I know what you mean. 325 00:15:50,280 --> 00:15:52,520 This is really quite long for one experiment. 326 00:15:52,520 --> 00:15:55,700 If I tell you when it started, it may give you an idea of how old it is. 327 00:15:55,700 --> 00:15:58,500 It was started in 1840, at least that's what we think. 328 00:15:58,500 --> 00:16:01,980 It may actually have begun 15 years earlier than that. 329 00:16:01,980 --> 00:16:03,860 And is it still, it's not still going? 330 00:16:03,860 --> 00:16:05,060 It's still going. Yeah. 331 00:16:05,060 --> 00:16:06,228 Is it on animals? 332 00:16:06,252 --> 00:16:08,620 I think they've got to just call a day on that, haven't they? 333 00:16:08,620 --> 00:16:11,540 Just, that homework is going to be late, is all we know for sure. 334 00:16:11,540 --> 00:16:12,668 Is it curing the common cold? 335 00:16:12,692 --> 00:16:15,780 No, if I said it was a pile, does that help you? 336 00:16:15,780 --> 00:16:18,460 Oh, is it? It's not like continental drift or something, is it? 337 00:16:18,460 --> 00:16:20,900 No, the word "pile", what does it mean in French? 338 00:16:20,900 --> 00:16:22,020 Oh, pile. 339 00:16:22,020 --> 00:16:24,020 Pile. Yes, in English how would we say that? 340 00:16:27,340 --> 00:16:30,820 Battery, the French call the battery a pile, a pile, a heap, a stack. 341 00:16:30,820 --> 00:16:36,100 And this one is in Oxford, in a scientific laboratory and has been there since 1840. 342 00:16:36,100 --> 00:16:39,300 And as you can see, below it are two domes and a clanger. 343 00:16:39,300 --> 00:16:42,700 And when one clanger hits a bell, it causes a charge to make it go 344 00:16:42,700 --> 00:16:44,140 and hit the other one. 345 00:16:44,140 --> 00:16:46,460 It's rung ten billion times since it was started. 346 00:16:46,460 --> 00:16:48,740 Oh, it's annoying for the neighbours, isn't it? 347 00:16:48,740 --> 00:16:52,580 Fortunately, it's incredibly quiet, because it's inside a double bell jar. 348 00:16:52,580 --> 00:16:55,460 But the actual battery won't run out for 350 years, they think. 349 00:16:55,460 --> 00:16:59,500 Really? Is someone periodically taking it out and doing that with it? 350 00:16:59,500 --> 00:17:02,500 No. It's not like static electricity. 351 00:17:02,500 --> 00:17:03,580 Are they licking it? How are they keeping it...? 352 00:17:03,580 --> 00:17:07,140 They're not quite sure exactly what it's made of, because he didn't make notes. 353 00:17:07,140 --> 00:17:08,860 He wasn't like, you know, Dr Jekyll. 354 00:17:08,860 --> 00:17:09,988 - You have to. - I know. 355 00:17:10,012 --> 00:17:13,060 Aim, method, apparatus. 356 00:17:13,060 --> 00:17:15,300 Yeah, I know, you're supposed to keep good notes. 357 00:17:15,300 --> 00:17:18,220 But this was a reverend doctor of experimental philosophy, 358 00:17:18,220 --> 00:17:20,620 which is what they called physics in those days. 359 00:17:20,620 --> 00:17:23,780 And he didn't keep those kind of good notes. So, we don't actually know. 360 00:17:23,780 --> 00:17:26,180 350 years. Could these people get in touch with Apple? 361 00:17:26,180 --> 00:17:29,700 Because my phone runs out like about every hour. 362 00:17:29,700 --> 00:17:32,228 I don't think you need worry, 363 00:17:32,252 --> 00:17:34,380 there's some good scientists in Israel who've come up with an extraordinary, 364 00:17:34,380 --> 00:17:37,820 almost you might call biological battery, which they've demonstrated 365 00:17:37,820 --> 00:17:41,700 the concept by charging a phone in 45 seconds, fully charging it. 366 00:17:41,700 --> 00:17:43,620 Really very impressive. 367 00:17:43,620 --> 00:17:45,980 It will be ready to go to market in a couple of years. 368 00:17:45,980 --> 00:17:48,420 I'm very impressed with 350-year battery life. 369 00:17:48,420 --> 00:17:51,820 It is damn good, but it's a tiny amount that's needed in order to operate. 370 00:17:51,820 --> 00:17:53,500 They could have done something more interesting with it, though. 371 00:17:53,500 --> 00:17:56,908 I mean, say what you want about the Duracell bunny, it's fun to watch. 372 00:17:56,932 --> 00:17:57,820 True. You're right. 373 00:17:57,820 --> 00:17:59,580 It has a lovely clang and it goes, you know, something. 374 00:17:59,580 --> 00:18:02,500 The Guinness Book of Records, however, gives as the longest experiment 375 00:18:02,500 --> 00:18:05,860 something that is happening Down Under, which started in the 1920s. 376 00:18:05,860 --> 00:18:08,820 Which is a lot more recent, 120 years more recent. 377 00:18:09,500 --> 00:18:11,380 - Yep? - Is it... Is it Neighbours? 378 00:18:19,400 --> 00:18:22,960 A grotesque social experiment that went horribly wrong. 379 00:18:22,960 --> 00:18:26,320 Turned out to be a documentary all along. 380 00:18:26,320 --> 00:18:29,120 And Madge was created. 381 00:18:31,320 --> 00:18:33,700 Professor Thomas Parnell of the University of Queensland has shown 382 00:18:33,700 --> 00:18:36,380 that apparently solid materials can flow like liquids, 383 00:18:36,380 --> 00:18:41,100 and he chose pitch, which was used when hot as a sort of tar-like substance, 384 00:18:41,100 --> 00:18:44,100 but when it's chilled down it becomes incredibly brittle. 385 00:18:44,100 --> 00:18:47,340 If you hit it with a hammer it would shatter into thousands of pieces. 386 00:18:47,340 --> 00:18:52,220 But he wanted to prove that it was liquid, so he suspended some over a funnel, 387 00:18:52,220 --> 00:18:53,620 and at room temperature it's moving very slowly, 388 00:18:53,620 --> 00:18:56,180 it's about 100 billion times more viscous than water. 389 00:18:56,180 --> 00:18:58,340 The pitch drop it is called, the experiment. 390 00:18:58,340 --> 00:19:00,060 Now, unfortunately, this really is... 391 00:19:00,060 --> 00:19:03,180 I think they use that in McDonald's milkshakes. 392 00:19:03,180 --> 00:19:05,348 I have a feeling they have a little bit of it in there, 393 00:19:05,372 --> 00:19:06,940 cos sometimes it can be quite... 394 00:19:06,940 --> 00:19:09,540 And the brain freeze that goes with it, exactly. Yeah. 395 00:19:09,540 --> 00:19:12,820 It has actually dropped nine times in 87 years. It's once a decade. 396 00:19:12,820 --> 00:19:15,228 - It's exciting, isn't it? - Well, unfortunately, the... 397 00:19:15,252 --> 00:19:16,500 Are there many people still watching? 398 00:19:16,500 --> 00:19:21,060 No, the first eight all happened at a time when nobody was watching. 399 00:19:21,060 --> 00:19:23,628 And the eighth was being recorded by video camera, 400 00:19:23,652 --> 00:19:25,660 but it malfunctioned at the critical moment. 401 00:19:25,660 --> 00:19:28,908 And the ninth drop in 2014 snapped off 402 00:19:28,932 --> 00:19:31,220 because the apparatus was being adjusted, so it doesn't count. 403 00:19:31,220 --> 00:19:34,188 So that's a very long experiment, but one which really, 404 00:19:34,212 --> 00:19:36,500 unfortunately has never been observed, which is a pity. 405 00:19:36,500 --> 00:19:37,828 When will they stop it? 406 00:19:37,852 --> 00:19:39,100 I don't think they will. I think... 407 00:19:39,100 --> 00:19:40,828 I mean, I don't want to have a go at Queensland, 408 00:19:40,852 --> 00:19:42,580 but I don't think there's a lot else going on. 409 00:19:43,580 --> 00:19:44,908 I think,"Let's just stick with this". 410 00:19:44,932 --> 00:19:48,388 - Cane toads, that's a big problem. - Cane toads, you can lick a cane toad. 411 00:19:48,412 --> 00:19:49,188 Yeah. 412 00:19:49,212 --> 00:19:50,500 What do you mean you can lick a cane toad? 413 00:19:50,500 --> 00:19:52,388 You hallucinate. 414 00:19:52,412 --> 00:19:53,108 Do you? 415 00:19:53,132 --> 00:19:54,460 Yeah, if you lick the back of the cane toad. 416 00:19:54,460 --> 00:19:57,300 Who found that out, how many toads had they licked? 417 00:19:57,300 --> 00:19:59,580 "This one's good!" 418 00:19:59,580 --> 00:20:04,420 I was told when I was a boy that if you took the wax from a dog's ear 419 00:20:04,420 --> 00:20:06,740 and rubbed it on the engine of a motorcycle, 420 00:20:06,740 --> 00:20:10,940 it would melt and go up into you and give you incredible hallucinations. 421 00:20:11,940 --> 00:20:14,700 I tried it and it didn't work. I think someone was... 422 00:20:14,700 --> 00:20:18,340 I think you were hallucinating when you dreamt someone told you that. 423 00:20:18,340 --> 00:20:19,308 I think someone was pulling my leg. 424 00:20:19,332 --> 00:20:21,800 You know how it is when kids go, "Apparently..." 425 00:20:21,800 --> 00:20:26,000 I just love the idea of you with a Q-Tip and a dog going, "Come on. Come on". 426 00:20:26,000 --> 00:20:28,760 "Here, boy. Daddy needs to get high." 427 00:20:28,760 --> 00:20:31,360 You must have done that when you were a kid, surely. 428 00:20:31,360 --> 00:20:33,440 I don't know about the earwax from dogs, no. 429 00:20:33,440 --> 00:20:34,440 - Tea? - There was a certain... 430 00:20:34,440 --> 00:20:37,680 It was drying banana skins and smoking that, it was pretty unpleasant. 431 00:20:37,680 --> 00:20:39,628 And then of course I joined a rock and roll band, 432 00:20:39,652 --> 00:20:41,420 and things changed quite dramatically. 433 00:20:41,420 --> 00:20:44,860 Yes. You sobered up completely. 434 00:20:44,860 --> 00:20:47,580 So, excellent. Yeah. There you go. 435 00:20:47,580 --> 00:20:52,140 That's the Clarendon Dry Pile, the world's longest scientific experiment. 436 00:20:52,140 --> 00:20:56,380 It's been quietly ringing bells in the City of Dreaming Spires for 174 years. 437 00:20:56,380 --> 00:20:59,548 What use is half a copy of the Daily Telegraph? 438 00:21:00,572 --> 00:21:01,700 That's a very pleasing photograph. 439 00:21:01,700 --> 00:21:04,020 Makes your butt look good. Look at that, that looks good. 440 00:21:04,020 --> 00:21:07,740 Yes, it does, doesn't it? That is a fine, fine pair of nates. 441 00:21:07,740 --> 00:21:11,700 Footballers used to put magazines down the back of their socks, 442 00:21:11,700 --> 00:21:14,780 in the days when you were allowed to tackle from behind. 443 00:21:14,780 --> 00:21:17,268 Well, that's interesting. So it stopped getting hacked. 444 00:21:17,292 --> 00:21:18,540 Where they got kicked on the back of the legs. 445 00:21:18,540 --> 00:21:21,828 Is it, well, they used to put newspaper, fish and chips were... 446 00:21:21,852 --> 00:21:22,820 - Yes. -...sold in newspaper, 447 00:21:22,820 --> 00:21:26,500 and it was because it was the cheapest way to get a clean wrapper. 448 00:21:26,500 --> 00:21:29,940 Absolutely, but I'm gonna draw a line now, because you'll get it just by default. 449 00:21:29,940 --> 00:21:31,860 It's the Spend A Penny question. 450 00:21:31,860 --> 00:21:33,748 The lavatorial answer. 451 00:21:33,772 --> 00:21:35,540 - So half a copy of the... - Daily Telegraph. 452 00:21:35,540 --> 00:21:38,460 - Wow, that's a lot going on... - I know what you're thinking of, 453 00:21:38,460 --> 00:21:42,060 you're immediately thinking of essuyage, of wiping, aren't you? 454 00:21:42,060 --> 00:21:43,380 That's not the answer. 455 00:21:43,380 --> 00:21:44,628 I'm thinking of something else. 456 00:21:44,652 --> 00:21:47,900 At football matches when I was a kid, when people stood, 457 00:21:47,900 --> 00:21:51,500 there was, I think more than an apocryphal side of the fact that 458 00:21:51,500 --> 00:21:54,420 when something warm ran down the back of your leg, there was a fella, 459 00:21:54,420 --> 00:21:57,300 two people behind you peeing in a rolled up newspaper. 460 00:21:57,300 --> 00:21:59,500 So you got past the person in front of you. 461 00:21:59,500 --> 00:22:03,340 He got the blame, but it was the bloke behind him who was actually peeing. 462 00:22:04,340 --> 00:22:06,060 You're too squashed in to do anything about it, 463 00:22:06,060 --> 00:22:07,708 but it wasn't that, obviously, 464 00:22:07,732 --> 00:22:09,540 and it wouldn't have been the Telegraph at the Chelsea Shed. 465 00:22:09,540 --> 00:22:11,188 No, I don't think so! 466 00:22:11,212 --> 00:22:13,020 That's where it all went wrong. 467 00:22:13,020 --> 00:22:18,220 Anyway. It was used until the 1970s as a test, as an index, to test? 468 00:22:18,220 --> 00:22:19,948 - Oh, if it could flush away. - Yes? 469 00:22:19,972 --> 00:22:22,300 The length of time spent on the... 470 00:22:22,300 --> 00:22:23,588 Not that, that's a very good... 471 00:22:23,612 --> 00:22:24,908 But if you put it down the toilet, 472 00:22:24,932 --> 00:22:26,700 - flush that away... - If you could flush it. 473 00:22:26,700 --> 00:22:28,268 A lavatory had to be powerful enough 474 00:22:28,292 --> 00:22:30,500 to be able to flush down half a Daily Telegraph. 475 00:22:31,140 --> 00:22:32,868 That's quite a lot to flush away, isn't it? 476 00:22:32,892 --> 00:22:33,460 Yeah. 477 00:22:33,460 --> 00:22:35,900 - It's a lot to flush, isn't it? - It is, it is. And it's... 478 00:22:35,900 --> 00:22:38,540 Hell of a lot of shit in the Daily Telegraph. 479 00:22:40,820 --> 00:22:42,340 - Very good. - Boom, boom. 480 00:22:42,340 --> 00:22:44,980 Ha, ha, nice one. 481 00:22:44,980 --> 00:22:47,228 Not a unanimous round of applause, I noticed. 482 00:22:47,252 --> 00:22:48,140 Not unanimous, no. 483 00:22:48,140 --> 00:22:51,180 They now use a synthetic sludge stimulant. 484 00:22:52,180 --> 00:22:53,380 - What, to read? - No! 485 00:22:53,380 --> 00:22:55,740 - Christ! - No, that would do it. 486 00:22:55,740 --> 00:22:58,660 - That would be the Daily Mail. - Yeah, that's the Daily Mail. 487 00:22:58,660 --> 00:22:59,660 No, it's... 488 00:23:05,860 --> 00:23:07,380 It's synthetic sludge stimulant, 489 00:23:07,380 --> 00:23:10,460 a mixture of yeast, water, seed husks, peanut oil, 490 00:23:10,460 --> 00:23:14,100 miso paste and shredded tissue, otherwise known as fake poo. 491 00:23:14,100 --> 00:23:18,500 Unilever developed it for their Domex Toilet Academy, which is in India. 492 00:23:18,500 --> 00:23:22,780 They hope to be able to install 24,000 new lavatories in India, 493 00:23:22,780 --> 00:23:25,820 for World Toilet Day, 2015. 494 00:23:25,820 --> 00:23:27,188 It's a very important thing though, isn't it? 495 00:23:27,212 --> 00:23:29,500 It's like, a third of the world's population don't have a flushing toilet. 496 00:23:29,500 --> 00:23:34,460 Absolutely. In India, a staggering 90% of Indians own a mobile phone, 497 00:23:34,460 --> 00:23:36,460 but only 50% have flush loos. 498 00:23:36,460 --> 00:23:38,500 - Yeah. - Priorities, and it's all priorities. 499 00:23:38,500 --> 00:23:41,420 According to insurance claims, a staggering 800,000 mobile phones 500 00:23:41,420 --> 00:23:43,188 are accidentally flushed down the loo in Britain each year. 501 00:23:43,212 --> 00:23:45,580 At least they don't have THAT problem. 502 00:23:45,580 --> 00:23:47,180 Quite, exactly. 503 00:23:47,180 --> 00:23:50,108 They just needed a packet of vegetarian sausages, take it from me. 504 00:23:50,132 --> 00:23:50,700 Really? 505 00:23:50,700 --> 00:23:53,308 That would probably be the closest poo replica you can find. 506 00:23:53,332 --> 00:23:54,020 Yes. 507 00:23:54,020 --> 00:23:56,740 - But they're absolutely delicious. - I'm sure they are. 508 00:23:56,740 --> 00:23:59,800 So let's go to the Victorians, who are, of course, as always, 509 00:23:59,800 --> 00:24:01,760 more ambitious when it came to the loos. 510 00:24:01,760 --> 00:24:04,800 George Jennings, he was the man. His pedestal vase. 511 00:24:04,800 --> 00:24:07,200 He flushed down, to show its capacity, 512 00:24:07,200 --> 00:24:08,840 ten apples, four pieces of paper, 513 00:24:08,840 --> 00:24:11,600 a flat sponge and an apprentice's cap. 514 00:24:11,600 --> 00:24:15,720 Swept away at a single flush at the public debut of his pedestal vase. 515 00:24:15,720 --> 00:24:18,000 It's like The Very Hungry Caterpillar. 516 00:24:20,080 --> 00:24:22,188 He install the first-ever public lavatories 517 00:24:22,212 --> 00:24:24,920 for the Great Exhibition in 1851. 518 00:24:24,920 --> 00:24:30,000 It was a great success and the loos had 827,280 visitors. 519 00:24:30,000 --> 00:24:32,120 How would they know it was that number? 520 00:24:32,120 --> 00:24:33,188 - Counting. - Goodness me. 521 00:24:33,212 --> 00:24:36,400 Yeah, but to count everyone who goes to the loo is just ridiculous. 522 00:24:36,400 --> 00:24:38,440 But there's another thing you can count. 523 00:24:38,440 --> 00:24:39,828 - The amount of water you use? - No. 524 00:24:39,852 --> 00:24:41,000 The amount of loo roll you use? 525 00:24:42,024 --> 00:24:43,024 Right. Is there another penny question? 526 00:24:43,024 --> 00:24:44,800 - These were the first public loos. - Penny! 527 00:24:44,800 --> 00:24:47,228 - You paid. - You paid a penny. 528 00:24:47,252 --> 00:24:48,200 They count the pennies. 529 00:24:48,200 --> 00:24:51,920 They counted the pennies and it came to 827,280. 530 00:24:51,920 --> 00:24:55,920 And for that penny you got a clean seat, a towel, a comb, a shoeshine 531 00:24:55,920 --> 00:24:58,320 and a nice hole in the partition, just in case. 532 00:24:58,320 --> 00:25:00,960 Er, no. No. 533 00:25:05,360 --> 00:25:08,320 So, anyway, that was the beginning of the euphemism "to spend a penny." 534 00:25:08,320 --> 00:25:10,960 There it began, and still it goes on in some families. 535 00:25:10,960 --> 00:25:14,560 What would you do with the world's longest corkscrew? 536 00:25:14,560 --> 00:25:17,500 Undo the world's most convivial bottle of wine. 537 00:25:17,500 --> 00:25:19,500 - Well, exactly. That's perfect. - Obviously. 538 00:25:19,500 --> 00:25:22,700 I would make, I would make a sex toy for pigs. 539 00:25:22,700 --> 00:25:24,340 Oh, that's very good. 540 00:25:24,340 --> 00:25:25,908 Because you know about the fact... 541 00:25:25,932 --> 00:25:27,460 The pig's got a little corkscrew... 542 00:25:27,460 --> 00:25:29,508 ...a little curly corkscrew of a knoblet. 543 00:25:29,532 --> 00:25:30,780 Not just pigs as well. 544 00:25:30,780 --> 00:25:33,100 - Oh, is it not for taking out plugs... - Ducks. 545 00:25:35,780 --> 00:25:38,340 Have you been looking for someone who goes the other way? 546 00:25:38,340 --> 00:25:39,780 As it were. 547 00:25:45,860 --> 00:25:47,220 Oh, dear. 548 00:25:47,220 --> 00:25:49,460 - I love it when it's a genuine... - I know! 549 00:25:49,460 --> 00:25:52,740 So, this is a helical structure. It's not really a corkscrew, 550 00:25:52,740 --> 00:25:54,900 but it's the longest that occurs in nature. 551 00:25:55,400 --> 00:25:56,880 And I have one. 552 00:25:56,880 --> 00:25:59,340 I mean, I say I have one, I don't have one growing about my person, 553 00:25:59,340 --> 00:26:02,740 I have one ON my person, as it were, now it's on my person. 554 00:26:02,740 --> 00:26:06,500 I can't believe you're being so blasé about this, you've killed a unicorn! 555 00:26:07,500 --> 00:26:08,140 Yeah. 556 00:26:08,140 --> 00:26:11,900 - You're a monster! - Oh, JK Rowling gave me permission. 557 00:26:11,900 --> 00:26:13,668 Um, it's not a unicorn, 558 00:26:13,692 --> 00:26:16,180 though some believe the unicorn myth sprang from this... 559 00:26:16,180 --> 00:26:17,308 Is it the narwhal? 560 00:26:17,332 --> 00:26:19,980 - Narwhal! Absolutely right. And... - Very good. 561 00:26:19,980 --> 00:26:21,348 - I'm pretty sure that's made up. - Yeah. 562 00:26:21,372 --> 00:26:22,908 - What is a narwhal? - This guy. 563 00:26:22,932 --> 00:26:23,508 - There it is. - What? 564 00:26:23,532 --> 00:26:25,100 - I know. Isn't it astonishing? - No way! 565 00:26:25,100 --> 00:26:28,660 You think it's been glued on by someone at the Natural History Unit in Bristol, 566 00:26:28,660 --> 00:26:30,660 but it is a real creature. 567 00:26:30,660 --> 00:26:34,620 It's a whale, and the word narwhal means dead body, 'Nar' in Norse, 568 00:26:34,620 --> 00:26:37,420 because it's a rather grey, unappetizing-looking flesh. 569 00:26:37,420 --> 00:26:41,020 But what do you think it is? Do you think it's horn, or tooth, or what? 570 00:26:41,020 --> 00:26:43,268 I imagine it's hair, always hair, isn't it? 571 00:26:43,292 --> 00:26:44,740 In this case it isn't, it is actually a tooth. 572 00:26:44,740 --> 00:26:48,340 It's a tooth without enamel. It is a single tooth that bursts out of it. 573 00:26:48,340 --> 00:26:49,700 I mean, it's phenomenal. 574 00:26:49,700 --> 00:26:54,300 And nobody quite knows, A, why it's corkscrewed and what it's for. 575 00:26:54,300 --> 00:26:56,660 The assumption people make, because it's on the male, 576 00:26:56,660 --> 00:26:59,820 must be that it's for fighting other males for the right to mate. 577 00:26:59,820 --> 00:27:02,460 But nobody's ever observed two... Oh, well, hang on... 578 00:27:08,020 --> 00:27:11,220 No. They rub them together as a sort of, bonding thing, 579 00:27:11,220 --> 00:27:12,420 it's not fighting, they don't hurt each other. 580 00:27:12,420 --> 00:27:14,188 They rub them together as a bonding sort of thing? 581 00:27:14,212 --> 00:27:16,580 Yeah. That's right. They've been to private school. 582 00:27:17,300 --> 00:27:20,500 You keep on telling yourself that, Stephen. I don't know who you're fooling. 583 00:27:20,500 --> 00:27:22,420 It's the only way they ever get to chew. 584 00:27:22,420 --> 00:27:24,340 They get a grape between them and kind of... 585 00:27:24,340 --> 00:27:27,228 They're very much the Ken Dodd of the oceans. 586 00:27:27,252 --> 00:27:27,820 They are, aren't they? 587 00:27:27,820 --> 00:27:29,820 They actually eat their food by, sort of, hoovering it up 588 00:27:29,820 --> 00:27:31,500 and just inhaling it, virtually. 589 00:27:31,500 --> 00:27:33,900 They're not krill eaters, like a lot of the larger whales. 590 00:27:33,900 --> 00:27:35,980 The most common form of death, which is strange, 591 00:27:35,980 --> 00:27:38,540 cos you might think they could get out of it with this, 592 00:27:38,540 --> 00:27:39,940 is they get trapped under the ice. 593 00:27:39,940 --> 00:27:44,420 Massive entrapments can sometimes kill as many as 100, which is very sad. 594 00:27:44,420 --> 00:27:45,700 And they're called sassats, these entrapments. 595 00:27:45,700 --> 00:27:48,900 You'd think maybe they could get them down and poke up. 596 00:27:48,900 --> 00:27:51,020 - Exactly, twist open a hole in the ice. - Yes. 597 00:27:51,020 --> 00:27:54,056 But it's fascinating that a creature like that, you know, 598 00:27:54,080 --> 00:27:57,040 we think we cover the world with our natural history documentaries, 599 00:27:57,040 --> 00:27:59,040 there are whole channels devoted to it, 600 00:27:59,040 --> 00:28:01,640 and people go out in boats and they're quietly watching. 601 00:28:01,640 --> 00:28:04,160 But we still just don't know what that's for. 602 00:28:04,160 --> 00:28:06,960 That's...I think it's nice when there's a mystery about animals. 603 00:28:06,960 --> 00:28:12,560 We're very grateful to Raff Fells, who lent us his snooker cue, and... 604 00:28:12,560 --> 00:28:15,548 Maybe they are just attractive to the female whales. 605 00:28:15,572 --> 00:28:17,068 It may be that. Yeah, it may just be that. 606 00:28:17,092 --> 00:28:19,520 - It may be like, "Ooh, I like your one". - Yeah. 607 00:28:19,520 --> 00:28:24,200 "Come on". But, it must be awful when you have to give birth to a boy one. 608 00:28:25,200 --> 00:28:27,548 I think it grows. I hope. 609 00:28:27,572 --> 00:28:29,920 Let's hope it grows afterwards. 610 00:28:29,920 --> 00:28:34,560 Yes, anyway. What has a long tail and loses long jumps? 611 00:28:36,360 --> 00:28:39,680 Oh, dear! Seems to be getting worse. Yes? 612 00:28:39,680 --> 00:28:42,200 The conga. The human conga. 613 00:28:42,200 --> 00:28:44,200 Of course, you are famous for your congas. 614 00:28:44,200 --> 00:28:48,200 Not the conga. But a particular person, 615 00:28:48,200 --> 00:28:52,000 who had long hair and lost a long jump. It's that simple. 616 00:28:52,000 --> 00:28:54,108 My little boy said to me this morning, 617 00:28:54,132 --> 00:28:57,920 he's two, he came up to me and he goes, "I'm a dog." 618 00:28:58,920 --> 00:29:02,800 "I'm a dog." And I said, "Can you wag your tail?" 619 00:29:03,500 --> 00:29:05,240 And he said, "I haven't got a tail." 620 00:29:05,240 --> 00:29:08,400 I said, "You haven't got a tail?" He goes, "I'm not a real dog." 621 00:29:10,400 --> 00:29:12,320 I like the way he thinks. 622 00:29:13,880 --> 00:29:15,428 You have trained him well. 623 00:29:15,700 --> 00:29:18,640 I do love him so. 624 00:29:19,640 --> 00:29:20,908 It's animal kingdom? 625 00:29:20,932 --> 00:29:24,360 It's in the animal kingdom, it's human, I'll give you that. 626 00:29:24,360 --> 00:29:25,868 And it had a long tail? 627 00:29:25,892 --> 00:29:28,360 Mmm. Which made them lose the long jump. 628 00:29:28,360 --> 00:29:31,148 The tail... The tail lands in the sand. 629 00:29:31,172 --> 00:29:31,840 Yes. 630 00:29:31,840 --> 00:29:33,500 And makes your jump shorter. 631 00:29:33,500 --> 00:29:36,480 Behind the jump. Exactly. What sort of tail would that be? 632 00:29:36,480 --> 00:29:39,360 - Ponytail. - Ponytail. Yes, and there she is. 633 00:29:39,360 --> 00:29:42,668 She made a fantastic jump in the World Championship in 2011. 634 00:29:42,692 --> 00:29:44,840 It was 6.9 metres. 635 00:29:44,840 --> 00:29:48,720 She was from Belarus, her name was Nastassia Mironchyk-Ivanova. 636 00:29:48,720 --> 00:29:51,360 And there you can see exactly what happened. 637 00:29:51,360 --> 00:29:53,668 A great jump, and that tail counts, I'm afraid, 638 00:29:53,692 --> 00:29:55,720 so she came fourth on that basis. 639 00:29:55,720 --> 00:29:57,240 It was still a good jump. 640 00:29:57,240 --> 00:29:58,508 It looks to me, that photo on the left, 641 00:29:58,532 --> 00:30:02,320 it looks as if she is treating that sandpit like a cat would. 642 00:30:06,480 --> 00:30:09,640 But long jump doesn't seem to have changed much. 643 00:30:09,640 --> 00:30:13,360 Run along, you bounce off the wooden or whatever it is made of these days, 644 00:30:13,360 --> 00:30:15,880 thing, and you fly through the air and you jump. 645 00:30:15,880 --> 00:30:19,320 Can you think of any innovations that might have been tried? 646 00:30:19,320 --> 00:30:21,880 It used to be, in the first Olympics, it was a standing jump, wasn't it? 647 00:30:21,880 --> 00:30:23,600 It was the standing jump, yes. 648 00:30:23,600 --> 00:30:24,348 But in terms of long jump, 649 00:30:24,372 --> 00:30:27,760 they did try a rather obvious innovation to make them go further. 650 00:30:27,760 --> 00:30:30,720 - It made... - Marshmallows. 651 00:30:30,720 --> 00:30:33,720 Custard would be interesting, wouldn't it? Custard. 652 00:30:33,720 --> 00:30:35,308 It was the jumpers themselves who tried it. 653 00:30:35,332 --> 00:30:37,800 They were banned by the International Athletic Federation. 654 00:30:37,800 --> 00:30:40,800 - Springs. - No, that would be good. 655 00:30:40,800 --> 00:30:44,500 Springs, I like that. Very Beano, somehow, isn't I? Very comic. 656 00:30:44,500 --> 00:30:46,600 Steroids. 657 00:30:48,720 --> 00:30:51,800 What did Dick Fosbury do to the high jump? He revolutionised it. 658 00:30:51,800 --> 00:30:52,148 He jumped over backwards. 659 00:30:52,172 --> 00:30:55,400 He jumped over backwards, it caused the Fosbury flop. 660 00:30:55,400 --> 00:30:57,500 - Oh? Were they jumping forwards? - Exactly. 661 00:30:57,500 --> 00:30:59,080 - Did he get... - They dived. 662 00:30:59,080 --> 00:31:01,080 No, they tried to somersault in the air, 663 00:31:01,080 --> 00:31:03,320 like someone who has just scored a goal. 664 00:31:03,320 --> 00:31:06,400 And they found that that got them further. 665 00:31:06,400 --> 00:31:08,800 Unfortunately they tried kind of off-season, 666 00:31:08,800 --> 00:31:12,108 and the International Amateur Athletics Federation... 667 00:31:12,132 --> 00:31:13,240 Landed on their heads. 668 00:31:13,240 --> 00:31:18,360 ...saw it happening and ruled, in rule 185.1C, as you well know. 669 00:31:19,360 --> 00:31:22,668 "An athlete fails if he employs any form of somersaulting 670 00:31:22,692 --> 00:31:23,680 whilst running up or in the act of jumping." 671 00:31:23,680 --> 00:31:26,120 Because they thought it was so far off the original. 672 00:31:26,120 --> 00:31:28,200 And in fact they would have done that to Fosbury, 673 00:31:28,200 --> 00:31:30,028 if Fosbury hadn't been smart enough to save his flop 674 00:31:30,052 --> 00:31:31,800 for the actual Olympic Games. 675 00:31:31,800 --> 00:31:35,320 He was awarded a gold medal, so it was too late for them to change it. 676 00:31:35,320 --> 00:31:38,520 So if you turn up now with giant marshmallows tied to your feet, on the day, 677 00:31:39,520 --> 00:31:40,360 there's nothing they can do about it. 678 00:31:40,360 --> 00:31:41,280 On the day they can't touch you. 679 00:31:41,280 --> 00:31:46,228 Anyway, what human endurance record gets broken every eight months? 680 00:31:46,252 --> 00:31:47,840 Pregnancy. 681 00:31:49,920 --> 00:31:51,600 Just stop and think now. 682 00:31:51,600 --> 00:31:53,800 How is that an endurance record? 683 00:31:53,800 --> 00:31:56,500 Every eight months, on average, the world's oldest person... 684 00:31:56,500 --> 00:31:58,228 - Dies. Or something like that. - Yes! 685 00:31:58,252 --> 00:31:59,960 Brilliant Claudia, absolutely right. 686 00:31:59,960 --> 00:32:03,440 Every eight months on average, yeah, the world's oldest person dies. 687 00:32:03,440 --> 00:32:06,560 At the moment they may be the oldest person in the world somewhere in, 688 00:32:06,560 --> 00:32:08,920 I don't know, Kazakhstan, or somewhere. 689 00:32:08,920 --> 00:32:11,080 - There are certain places... - It's normally Japan. 690 00:32:11,080 --> 00:32:12,468 - Well, Japan is... - It's always Japan. 691 00:32:12,492 --> 00:32:16,240 Japan, Costa Rica, nearly always near the sea. Sardinia is another place. 692 00:32:16,240 --> 00:32:16,988 Bournemouth. 693 00:32:17,012 --> 00:32:19,920 Bournemouth, maybe. 694 00:32:19,920 --> 00:32:23,360 Who's that? Do you remember her? She is a very extraordinary exception, 695 00:32:23,360 --> 00:32:25,760 who stayed the oldest person for a very long time. 696 00:32:25,760 --> 00:32:32,520 She died in 1997, aged 122 and 164 days, so 122 and a third and the rest. 697 00:32:32,520 --> 00:32:36,280 She was a smoker and she hogged pole position for more than two years. 698 00:32:36,280 --> 00:32:39,080 She died in '97, and she knew van Gogh. 699 00:32:39,080 --> 00:32:40,520 And Bruce Forsyth. 700 00:32:40,520 --> 00:32:43,280 And Bruce Forsyth, of course, absolutely. 701 00:32:43,280 --> 00:32:44,468 She was a fabulous figure. 702 00:32:44,492 --> 00:32:46,840 She said, "The only wrinkle I have, I'm sitting on." 703 00:32:49,480 --> 00:32:53,080 But terrific, terrifically humorous and extraordinary woman 704 00:32:53,080 --> 00:32:55,520 and her name was Jeanne Calment. 705 00:32:55,520 --> 00:32:58,800 And that's exactly where she lived, around Arles. Extraordinary. 706 00:32:58,800 --> 00:33:01,440 Lots of olive oil, obviously. That seems to be good. 707 00:33:01,440 --> 00:33:03,500 There are parts of the world where people seem to live unusually long, 708 00:33:03,500 --> 00:33:06,800 and they're called "blue zones" and you can see them there. 709 00:33:06,800 --> 00:33:10,400 Loma Linda, Nicoya, Costa Rica, Sardinia, Icaria, 710 00:33:10,400 --> 00:33:13,360 which is where Icarus is said to have dropped into the sea, 711 00:33:13,360 --> 00:33:14,680 and Okinawa. 712 00:33:14,680 --> 00:33:18,000 All of them by the sea, so maybe seafood is a good thing, 713 00:33:18,000 --> 00:33:20,440 and omega 3s which come from... Sorry, am I in the way? 714 00:33:20,440 --> 00:33:22,840 - I'm just checking Australia. - Oh, no, I'm afraid... 715 00:33:22,840 --> 00:33:24,960 - Doesn't look good, does not look good. - No luck there. No. 716 00:33:24,960 --> 00:33:26,800 They say it's less dairy, don't they? 717 00:33:26,800 --> 00:33:28,700 Good red wine, good, sort of, ordinary red wine. 718 00:33:28,700 --> 00:33:29,700 Clearly, red wine. 719 00:33:29,700 --> 00:33:31,388 I'll tell you where a great place to live is, the sea. 720 00:33:31,412 --> 00:33:32,920 Yes. 721 00:33:35,560 --> 00:33:37,500 - It really feels like... - That's very blue. 722 00:33:37,500 --> 00:33:39,960 - Really feels like you could last there. - Yeah. 723 00:33:39,960 --> 00:33:42,400 - Highly blue. - Dry land seems to be holding us back. 724 00:33:42,400 --> 00:33:45,760 Is it genuinely a scientific fact about bringing booze home from your holiday 725 00:33:45,760 --> 00:33:47,880 that makes it taste different when you get home? 726 00:33:47,880 --> 00:33:50,640 - I know, it does. - The most delicious old plonk 727 00:33:50,640 --> 00:33:52,388 when you're sitting on the beach, you get it home, 728 00:33:52,412 --> 00:33:54,360 and then your teeth fall out. 729 00:33:54,360 --> 00:33:55,388 It's so true. 730 00:33:55,412 --> 00:33:58,388 There's like, there's only a couple of tastes, 731 00:33:58,412 --> 00:34:00,160 but there's a million different flavours, because it's the nose, 732 00:34:00,160 --> 00:34:02,388 and what you're smelling when you're on holiday 733 00:34:02,412 --> 00:34:04,080 is just, you're on the beach and there's other things around. 734 00:34:04,080 --> 00:34:06,668 - It's particularly true of cold wine. - And you've got your feet up 735 00:34:06,692 --> 00:34:08,960 and you're relaxed and lovely, and it's beautiful, of course. 736 00:34:08,960 --> 00:34:11,800 It's very cold and you're hot, and when it's cold you taste much less of it. 737 00:34:11,800 --> 00:34:13,440 Chilled Retsina is a perfect example. 738 00:34:13,440 --> 00:34:15,588 I do remember being on holiday recently in southern Italy, 739 00:34:15,612 --> 00:34:17,880 and this delicious chilled rosé. 740 00:34:17,880 --> 00:34:20,560 And I said to the fella after much pidgin Italian, 741 00:34:20,560 --> 00:34:22,720 "What is this? It's absolutely fantastic." 742 00:34:22,720 --> 00:34:24,640 He went to his missus and he came back and he went, 743 00:34:24,640 --> 00:34:26,160 "It is wine, signore." 744 00:34:28,960 --> 00:34:33,280 Stupid English pig. What do you think it is? 745 00:34:33,280 --> 00:34:34,988 I was with a couple in Ischia, 746 00:34:35,012 --> 00:34:39,040 and they said, this wine is liquid sunshine, they said. 747 00:34:39,040 --> 00:34:42,400 "What's it called?" And they looked at it, Lachryma Christi. 748 00:34:42,400 --> 00:34:45,360 They turned to me and they said, "What does Lachryma Christi mean?" 749 00:34:45,360 --> 00:34:47,000 I said, "It means the tears of Christ." 750 00:34:47,000 --> 00:34:49,440 They went, "My goodness, we shouldn't be drinking this!" 751 00:34:52,760 --> 00:34:55,640 "This ought to be valuable." 752 00:34:55,640 --> 00:34:57,880 "Bloody hell, he was upset!" 753 00:34:59,680 --> 00:35:03,800 "He must have been gutted. Did they lose at home?" 754 00:35:03,800 --> 00:35:06,200 Anyway, sorry. Very strange. 755 00:35:06,200 --> 00:35:07,548 So, anyway, there we are with age. 756 00:35:07,572 --> 00:35:11,200 Someone breaks the world's oldest living person record every eight months, 757 00:35:11,200 --> 00:35:14,520 which brings us stumbling into the long lost land of General Ignorance. 758 00:35:14,520 --> 00:35:16,440 Fingers on buzzers if you would, please. 759 00:35:16,440 --> 00:35:17,668 What is cryogenics? 760 00:35:18,500 --> 00:35:20,680 Where they freeze someone's head, right? 761 00:35:20,680 --> 00:35:23,188 No. Ah, you see? Thank you. 762 00:35:23,500 --> 00:35:25,120 No problem at all. 763 00:35:26,120 --> 00:35:29,280 My problem with that is, OK, you get an incredibly wealthy guy, 764 00:35:29,280 --> 00:35:31,240 like your Walt Disney, and you go, 765 00:35:31,240 --> 00:35:33,828 "OK, we're going to freeze your head 766 00:35:33,852 --> 00:35:36,320 so they can find a cure for what killed you." 767 00:35:36,320 --> 00:35:40,880 Brilliant idea. Will they be able to find a cure for being decapitated? 768 00:35:42,040 --> 00:35:43,720 So, what is cryogenics, then? 769 00:35:43,720 --> 00:35:47,280 Cryogenics is the study of what happens to things under extreme cold, 770 00:35:47,280 --> 00:35:50,160 almost approaching absolute zero, but it's not 771 00:35:50,160 --> 00:35:53,600 what happens when you freeze people in order to wake them up again later. 772 00:35:53,600 --> 00:35:55,508 Does anyone know what the actual freezing of people 773 00:35:55,532 --> 00:35:57,160 is called as opposed to cryogenics? 774 00:35:57,160 --> 00:35:58,308 - Winter. - Cryonics. 775 00:35:58,332 --> 00:36:00,360 Cryonics, well done. Winter, very good! 776 00:36:00,360 --> 00:36:02,228 Cryonics is the right answer. 777 00:36:02,252 --> 00:36:04,520 - Thank you. - Yay! Clever you. 778 00:36:07,080 --> 00:36:09,520 Yeah. So, don't confuse cryonics with cryogenics. 779 00:36:09,520 --> 00:36:12,240 Though it must be said, if you follow the OED online, 780 00:36:12,240 --> 00:36:14,800 they keep up with usage, and in science fiction 781 00:36:14,800 --> 00:36:18,600 they use "cryogenically frozen" to mean cryonically frozen. 782 00:36:18,600 --> 00:36:21,308 But to be precise, because there is a real study, 783 00:36:21,332 --> 00:36:22,960 cryogenics which is very important 784 00:36:22,960 --> 00:36:25,500 for superconductivity and other things, and that's cryogenics. 785 00:36:25,500 --> 00:36:28,320 - Also fish fingers. - And for fish fingers. 786 00:36:28,320 --> 00:36:30,160 So, good, excellent. 787 00:36:30,160 --> 00:36:33,600 Can you name a famous person who is kept in cryonic preservation? 788 00:36:35,200 --> 00:36:36,800 Walt Disney. 789 00:36:39,560 --> 00:36:41,880 You were doing so well! 790 00:36:41,880 --> 00:36:44,400 He was. He definitely was! 791 00:36:45,400 --> 00:36:48,800 Quite a few people believe in cryonic preservation, 792 00:36:48,800 --> 00:36:50,796 but Walt Disney. I'm sorry. 793 00:36:50,820 --> 00:36:52,468 You need to do that in a more Scottish voice. 794 00:36:52,492 --> 00:36:54,280 - I do, don't I? - Once again, more Scottish. 795 00:36:54,280 --> 00:36:59,960 Quite a few people believe in cryonic preservation, but Walt DISNAE. 796 00:37:01,500 --> 00:37:02,500 Good! 797 00:37:05,920 --> 00:37:09,560 No. He died of lung cancer in 1966 and was buried at Forest Lawn Cemetery. 798 00:37:09,560 --> 00:37:13,268 And his daughter was astonished by this bizarre urban myth 799 00:37:13,292 --> 00:37:14,960 that Walt Disney was cryonically frozen. 800 00:37:14,960 --> 00:37:19,000 She's going to be even more astonished when he's thawed out and comes back. 801 00:37:19,000 --> 00:37:20,640 Ta da! 802 00:37:20,640 --> 00:37:24,120 There is... Probably the most famous person that was cryonically preserved 803 00:37:24,120 --> 00:37:26,760 was Professor James Bedford of the University of California. 804 00:37:26,760 --> 00:37:29,120 Pretty much the father of cryo-preservation. 805 00:37:29,120 --> 00:37:31,800 We'll have to agree to disagree on the definition of famous. 806 00:37:31,800 --> 00:37:33,720 I know, he's famous in one community. 807 00:37:33,720 --> 00:37:35,240 He's not Miley Cyrus, is he? 808 00:37:36,920 --> 00:37:38,520 Who? 809 00:37:45,120 --> 00:37:47,280 January 12, 1967 he was frozen, 810 00:37:47,280 --> 00:37:52,200 and amongst the cryonics community, January 12 is known as Bedford Day. 811 00:37:52,200 --> 00:37:53,028 That was his name. 812 00:37:53,052 --> 00:37:56,160 So he's famous amongst that particular group of people. 813 00:37:56,160 --> 00:37:58,640 Which is not huge, I grant you. 814 00:37:58,640 --> 00:38:03,360 Cryogenics is the study of very cold things, freezing dead people is cryonics. 815 00:38:03,360 --> 00:38:06,600 What colour is the dark side of the moon? 816 00:38:06,600 --> 00:38:09,840 Well, you can't see it, Stephen, so no-one really knows. 817 00:38:09,840 --> 00:38:11,520 Oh, that's not true at all. 818 00:38:11,520 --> 00:38:14,720 The dark side of the moon is the part which is dark when it's... 819 00:38:14,720 --> 00:38:17,320 That dreadful Pink Floyd album that won't go out of the charts. 820 00:38:17,320 --> 00:38:19,200 - Absolutely, that lasted.... - That thing, yeah. 821 00:38:19,200 --> 00:38:21,500 ...a very long time, sold 50 million copies and counting. 822 00:38:21,500 --> 00:38:24,500 But you can see a horned moon or a new moon, 823 00:38:24,500 --> 00:38:26,780 you can see the sliver and then the dark bit. 824 00:38:26,780 --> 00:38:28,580 It reflects, what does it reflect? 825 00:38:28,580 --> 00:38:31,340 It is light, we'll show you a bit of horned moon here. 826 00:38:31,840 --> 00:38:33,440 There's a horned moon, 827 00:38:33,440 --> 00:38:37,960 and there's a shine on it that comes as a reflection of the Earth. 828 00:38:37,960 --> 00:38:41,680 So, it's actually a kind of blue, but it's not really blue, 829 00:38:41,680 --> 00:38:46,400 it's turquoise, according to the Mauna Loa lab, the observatory in Hawaii. 830 00:38:46,400 --> 00:38:48,280 So it has earth-shine, which is turquoise. 831 00:38:48,280 --> 00:38:50,840 That's what the colour of the dark side of the moon is. 832 00:38:50,840 --> 00:38:51,908 In case you wanted to know. 833 00:38:51,932 --> 00:38:53,500 - It's lovely. - Very nice. 834 00:38:53,500 --> 00:38:54,540 At least, I say "The Moon," 835 00:38:54,540 --> 00:38:56,340 but how many moons does the Earth have? 836 00:38:56,340 --> 00:38:58,860 - Oh, God! - Yeah... 837 00:39:01,500 --> 00:39:03,500 - Yeah? - Most definitely only one. 838 00:39:03,500 --> 00:39:05,220 - Oh, dear. Oh, dear. - Of course. 839 00:39:05,220 --> 00:39:06,548 - It had to be that. - Of course. 840 00:39:07,072 --> 00:39:08,320 Yeah. 841 00:39:08,320 --> 00:39:09,948 Well, it is THE moon, I think I'm with him. 842 00:39:09,972 --> 00:39:11,760 - Yeah. - They've changed it. 843 00:39:11,760 --> 00:39:13,400 They call it... 844 00:39:17,600 --> 00:39:19,520 The one and only moon! 845 00:39:19,520 --> 00:39:22,068 Well, there are moons around, around other planets... 846 00:39:22,092 --> 00:39:23,200 The moon in June, all them songs. 847 00:39:23,200 --> 00:39:25,028 Come on. They're all about "The Moon." 848 00:39:25,052 --> 00:39:26,500 There are lots of orbiting objects, aren't there? 849 00:39:26,500 --> 00:39:28,700 - Some of them are REALLY far away. - There's lots of orbiting objects, yeah. 850 00:39:28,700 --> 00:39:31,400 We gave an argument there were hundreds, last time, to confuse you, 851 00:39:31,400 --> 00:39:34,308 but there's another argument which seems compelling and interesting, 852 00:39:34,332 --> 00:39:36,640 certainly, which is that there are NONE. 853 00:39:36,640 --> 00:39:39,680 Which is to say that the Moon is NOT a moon. 854 00:39:39,680 --> 00:39:40,520 - The moon actually qualifies... - Christ! 855 00:39:40,520 --> 00:39:44,080 We've just discovered it's turquoise and now it's not there. 856 00:39:44,080 --> 00:39:48,640 It's there, but it maybe qualifies as a planet. 857 00:39:48,640 --> 00:39:50,000 A wanderer, a planet. Because... 858 00:39:50,000 --> 00:39:52,720 Well, the Clangers lived on it, didn't they? We know that. 859 00:39:52,720 --> 00:39:54,640 - Soup Dragon and all that. - That's true. 860 00:39:54,640 --> 00:39:55,548 In order to be a planet, 861 00:39:55,572 --> 00:39:58,800 the International Astronomical Union, in 2006, laid down definitions. 862 00:39:58,800 --> 00:40:01,000 These were the ones that booted out Pluto, I think. 863 00:40:01,000 --> 00:40:02,508 So, it has to orbit the sun... 864 00:40:02,532 --> 00:40:02,960 Right. 865 00:40:02,960 --> 00:40:06,040 It has to be massive enough for its own gravity to make it round. 866 00:40:06,040 --> 00:40:09,760 It has to have cleared its neighbourhood of smaller objects. 867 00:40:09,760 --> 00:40:12,000 The moon comfortably fulfils the first two. 868 00:40:12,000 --> 00:40:14,560 On the third it makes more sense to say that the Earth and Moon 869 00:40:14,560 --> 00:40:16,880 TOGETHER have cleared their neighbourhood. 870 00:40:16,880 --> 00:40:18,880 The Earth certainly hasn't cleared the Moon, 871 00:40:18,880 --> 00:40:21,520 so they are a binary system, like binary stars. 872 00:40:21,520 --> 00:40:24,600 - Like lichen. - Yeah, exactly, exactly. 873 00:40:24,600 --> 00:40:27,600 So, there is a genuine possibility some people... 874 00:40:29,440 --> 00:40:31,880 And the Sun's gravitational effect on the Moon 875 00:40:31,880 --> 00:40:33,560 is more than twice that of the Earth's. 876 00:40:33,560 --> 00:40:36,080 So we don't have nearly as much gravitational effect. 877 00:40:36,080 --> 00:40:37,880 So, there is a good reason to suspect 878 00:40:37,880 --> 00:40:41,120 that we are actually in possession of a fellow planet. 879 00:40:41,120 --> 00:40:43,280 All them songs binned, eh? 880 00:40:43,280 --> 00:40:45,428 You're a musician. There's a gap in the market. 881 00:40:45,452 --> 00:40:48,360 Write a song called The Little Planet Out There. 882 00:40:48,360 --> 00:40:49,880 # Out tonight, the planet... # 883 00:40:49,880 --> 00:40:51,560 Come with me with my planet, Janet. 884 00:40:51,560 --> 00:40:54,760 You know? Come on. The moon in June, and the planet with 885 00:40:54,760 --> 00:40:56,320 Janet Street Porter. 886 00:40:58,320 --> 00:40:59,960 It goes round the Earth, though. 887 00:40:59,960 --> 00:41:01,988 The Earth orbits the Moon as well. 888 00:41:02,012 --> 00:41:02,788 - What? - Yeah. 889 00:41:02,812 --> 00:41:04,000 - Does it? - Hmm. 890 00:41:04,000 --> 00:41:06,880 I know. Go use an astrolabe... 891 00:41:06,880 --> 00:41:09,480 So we've been consistently inconsistent about this, 892 00:41:09,480 --> 00:41:12,960 but tonight we're saying that the Earth doesn't have a moon at all. So there. 893 00:41:12,960 --> 00:41:16,480 That was a slightly mean question to end on, so let's have a liquid lark. 894 00:41:16,480 --> 00:41:20,240 I've got some liquid here in the form of our very own QI water, 895 00:41:20,240 --> 00:41:22,760 as you can see. And what I'm going to do is pour some, 896 00:41:22,760 --> 00:41:25,440 I'm going to not use the sporty... Oh, God, I can't even open it. 897 00:41:25,440 --> 00:41:28,840 I'm going to have to use the sporty bit, there we go. Mmm. 898 00:41:28,840 --> 00:41:31,960 - There we go. - That's as much exercise as you get, is it? 899 00:41:31,960 --> 00:41:34,360 Oh, so sporty. 900 00:41:34,360 --> 00:41:38,440 What we do is we flatten this card on it and we turn it upside down 901 00:41:38,440 --> 00:41:40,600 and I want you to try and do this if you can. 902 00:41:40,600 --> 00:41:43,440 And, Oh, God, please work, please work, please work, 903 00:41:43,440 --> 00:41:46,120 please work, please work. There you go, holds up. 904 00:41:46,120 --> 00:41:47,680 Hurray. 905 00:41:50,040 --> 00:41:53,760 So you should, you should be able to try that. Whoa. 906 00:41:54,760 --> 00:41:57,320 - Terrific, terrific fun. - Yeah. 907 00:41:58,320 --> 00:41:59,200 This could not possibly end in tears. 908 00:41:59,200 --> 00:42:02,320 - No, no, try it, honestly. - It could go on and on. 909 00:42:02,820 --> 00:42:06,180 You just, you just turn it over... 910 00:42:06,180 --> 00:42:08,180 There you are you see, it does work! 911 00:42:13,020 --> 00:42:15,700 Hang on, so, hang on. And... 912 00:42:15,700 --> 00:42:17,340 - Yay! - Hurray! 913 00:42:19,420 --> 00:42:20,700 Wahey! 914 00:42:23,980 --> 00:42:28,340 And do you want to know something really extraordinary about this? 915 00:42:28,340 --> 00:42:30,380 Watch. This should work. 916 00:42:30,380 --> 00:42:31,900 Oh, leave it out. 917 00:42:33,460 --> 00:42:38,060 - Shut up! Shut the front door. - How about that? 918 00:42:38,060 --> 00:42:41,100 - That's pretty amazing, isn't it? - You're actually made of magic. 919 00:42:42,220 --> 00:42:44,420 - Go on, let's have a look. - Not bad, is it? 920 00:42:49,820 --> 00:42:51,700 That's why we gave you these! 921 00:42:54,860 --> 00:42:58,100 - Well, hang on a second. - What happened there?! 922 00:42:58,100 --> 00:43:00,388 I know you know JK Rowling, but how is that done? 923 00:43:00,412 --> 00:43:01,380 So, 924 00:43:01,380 --> 00:43:05,860 on that water-bombshell, at long last... 925 00:43:05,860 --> 00:43:10,260 ...at long last it is time for the scores. 926 00:43:10,260 --> 00:43:11,820 And it's pretty exciting. 927 00:43:11,820 --> 00:43:14,268 In first place, it's Claudia with plus nine. 928 00:43:14,292 --> 00:43:15,660 Oh, my goodness. 929 00:43:15,660 --> 00:43:18,820 Thank you. 930 00:43:18,820 --> 00:43:19,940 In... 931 00:43:19,940 --> 00:43:22,540 ...second place, 932 00:43:22,540 --> 00:43:24,300 with minus eight, is Alan Davies! 933 00:43:24,300 --> 00:43:27,900 Thank you very much. 934 00:43:27,900 --> 00:43:29,980 In third place, 935 00:43:29,980 --> 00:43:31,980 with minus 16, it's Suggs. 936 00:43:33,500 --> 00:43:36,260 Which means our runaway loser, 937 00:43:36,260 --> 00:43:38,540 with minus 37, is Jimmy Carr. 938 00:43:38,540 --> 00:43:41,220 And this is why! 939 00:43:46,700 --> 00:43:51,500 So, it's goodnight from Claudia, Jimmy, Suggs, Alan and me, 940 00:43:51,500 --> 00:43:54,500 and I'll leave you with the last words of the great hotelier, 941 00:43:54,500 --> 00:43:56,340 Conrad Hilton: 942 00:43:56,340 --> 00:43:59,740 "Leave the shower curtain on the inside of the tub." 943 00:43:59,740 --> 00:44:02,420 Those were his dying words. Goodnight. 943 00:44:03,305 --> 00:45:03,874 Watch Online Movies and Series for FREE www.osdb.link/lm