"Ace Ventura: Pet Detective" French Dip

1 00:00:01,609 --> 00:00:03,211 ♪ Ace Ventura 2 00:00:03,244 --> 00:00:05,146 ♪ Pet detective 3 00:00:05,179 --> 00:00:07,281 Yes, can you feel it? 4 00:00:07,315 --> 00:00:11,085 ♪ He can sniff like a dog He's slippery as a frog 5 00:00:11,118 --> 00:00:12,954 ♪ Ace Ventura 6 00:00:12,987 --> 00:00:14,122 (LAUGHS) 7 00:00:14,156 --> 00:00:15,257 ♪ Radar like a bat 8 00:00:15,290 --> 00:00:16,725 ♪ He's a way cool cat 9 00:00:16,758 --> 00:00:19,795 (YELPS) Loo-hoo-ser! 10 00:00:19,828 --> 00:00:21,597 ♪ When the detective's on a trail 11 00:00:21,630 --> 00:00:23,632 ♪ He is so protective 12 00:00:23,665 --> 00:00:26,401 Even if his brain seems defective. 13 00:00:26,435 --> 00:00:28,270 ♪ Ace Ventura 14 00:00:28,303 --> 00:00:29,972 ♪ Pet detective 15 00:00:32,441 --> 00:00:36,211 ♪ He can roll back in time and save a dino in distress 16 00:00:36,245 --> 00:00:37,513 ♪ Ace Ventura 17 00:00:37,546 --> 00:00:38,680 Yes! Yes! 18 00:00:38,714 --> 00:00:40,649 ♪ He'll squash an alien bug 19 00:00:41,350 --> 00:00:42,785 ♪ What a mess 20 00:00:43,853 --> 00:00:45,255 Gross! 21 00:00:45,288 --> 00:00:48,424 ♪ He's pesky as a flea Stings like a bee 22 00:00:48,458 --> 00:00:50,260 ♪ Swings like a monkey 23 00:00:50,293 --> 00:00:51,461 ♪ And ooh, what a hunk 24 00:00:51,494 --> 00:00:53,429 ♪ He's Ace Ventura 25 00:00:53,463 --> 00:00:54,797 ♪ Pet detective 26 00:00:54,831 --> 00:00:56,099 ♪ Ace Ventura ♪ 27 00:00:56,132 --> 00:00:58,301 All righty, then. 28 00:01:02,839 --> 00:01:05,041 (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) 29 00:01:07,043 --> 00:01:08,711 (LAUGHS) 30 00:01:15,352 --> 00:01:18,122 The Ocean Channel proudly presents another episode 31 00:01:18,155 --> 00:01:22,626 of the Seas of Knowledge, with your host Skip Tracer. 32 00:01:24,361 --> 00:01:26,497 Wow! 33 00:01:26,530 --> 00:01:27,898 (GRUNTS) Sorry. 34 00:01:28,832 --> 00:01:30,901 Skip, babe, that's you. 35 00:01:31,669 --> 00:01:34,371 Hey, ocean freaks, 36 00:01:34,405 --> 00:01:39,177 that's not just a lot of water, it's a lot of fish, too. 37 00:01:39,210 --> 00:01:44,916 Me and my board, Chunk, have shredded some tasty waves 38 00:01:44,950 --> 00:01:47,218 in our pursuit of ocean knowledge. 39 00:01:47,252 --> 00:01:49,988 MAN 1: Hey, hey, get out of here with that, will you? 40 00:01:50,021 --> 00:01:51,556 Noise. 41 00:01:51,589 --> 00:01:54,693 MAN 1: Hey, I'm trying to fish over here. 42 00:01:55,760 --> 00:01:57,996 Hey, that's my catch of the day. 43 00:01:58,029 --> 00:02:01,566 You're way over the limit, pork chop. 44 00:02:01,599 --> 00:02:03,134 (DRUMMING) 45 00:02:03,168 --> 00:02:06,906 You one of them animal rights pinkos? 46 00:02:06,939 --> 00:02:09,208 If I am, will you marry me? 47 00:02:10,910 --> 00:02:12,979 Captain, he's bigger than Jupiter. 48 00:02:13,012 --> 00:02:14,847 We've got to change course. 49 00:02:14,880 --> 00:02:18,684 Mustn't get caught in gravitational pull. 50 00:02:18,718 --> 00:02:21,520 Could circle him forever. 51 00:02:21,554 --> 00:02:24,790 -(GROWLS) -DIRECTOR: Excuse me. 52 00:02:24,824 --> 00:02:29,962 Gentlemen, we're trying to film a nature documentary. 53 00:02:29,996 --> 00:02:30,931 (CHUCKLES) 54 00:02:30,964 --> 00:02:33,600 Then point your cameras this way, boys. 55 00:02:33,634 --> 00:02:35,535 We got monkeys. 56 00:02:35,569 --> 00:02:38,171 We got the biggest whale on Earth. 57 00:02:40,273 --> 00:02:42,743 MAN 2: What is that? Get out of the way! 58 00:02:42,776 --> 00:02:44,845 (PEOPLE SCREAMING) 59 00:02:47,047 --> 00:02:49,716 -ACE: Move it, sunshine! -(THUDS) 60 00:02:50,384 --> 00:02:52,386 (CHUCKLES) Gnarly! 61 00:02:52,419 --> 00:02:54,888 That mega fish nearly creamed me. 62 00:02:54,921 --> 00:02:58,159 Try mega mammal, surfer girl. 63 00:02:58,192 --> 00:03:02,830 -This is a blue whale. Balaenoptera musculus. -Cool. 64 00:03:02,864 --> 00:03:05,600 And one thing it does not do 65 00:03:05,633 --> 00:03:08,703 is beach itself in Miami during high tide. 66 00:03:08,736 --> 00:03:13,041 But being the host of a nature documentary, 67 00:03:13,074 --> 00:03:15,176 -you would know that, wouldn't you, Skip? -Sure. 68 00:03:15,209 --> 00:03:16,511 You would also know 69 00:03:16,544 --> 00:03:19,614 that whales possess a highly developed system of communication. 70 00:03:19,647 --> 00:03:21,616 So let's see what our ocean friend can tell us 71 00:03:21,649 --> 00:03:23,217 about his navigational mishap 72 00:03:23,251 --> 00:03:27,156 with a little number I call Song of the Whale. 73 00:03:27,189 --> 00:03:30,759 (VOCALIZING) 74 00:03:35,731 --> 00:03:37,232 -(BELCHES) -(ACE YELPS) 75 00:03:37,266 --> 00:03:39,234 (LAUGHING) 76 00:03:40,569 --> 00:03:42,504 Yummy. 77 00:03:42,538 --> 00:03:44,773 Dude, what did he say? 78 00:03:44,807 --> 00:03:48,110 Isn't it obvious? He doesn't like the beach. 79 00:03:48,143 --> 00:03:52,347 So let's get his big blue butt back in the water pronto, okay? 80 00:03:56,753 --> 00:03:58,755 (PEOPLE EXCLAIMING) 81 00:03:59,923 --> 00:04:03,193 On your mark, get set, go. 82 00:04:03,226 --> 00:04:05,395 -(GASPS) Electrodes? -(BEEPING) 83 00:04:06,062 --> 00:04:07,297 No, wait! 84 00:04:09,265 --> 00:04:10,867 (ALL CHEERING) 85 00:04:10,900 --> 00:04:13,103 Sweet Noah's ghost! 86 00:04:13,136 --> 00:04:16,005 An electronic remote guidance system. 87 00:04:16,039 --> 00:04:17,140 But why? 88 00:04:17,173 --> 00:04:20,277 Why would someone want to deliberately beach a whale? 89 00:04:20,311 --> 00:04:23,314 Think. Think. Think. 90 00:04:23,347 --> 00:04:26,650 -Come on, babe, let's do lunch. -Killer. 91 00:04:26,684 --> 00:04:29,086 Did he say "killer"? 92 00:04:30,688 --> 00:04:33,124 (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) 93 00:04:36,293 --> 00:04:39,330 Bug fish! Cool! 94 00:04:39,363 --> 00:04:40,664 (DOOR SLAMS) 95 00:04:40,698 --> 00:04:43,901 Do not touch that lobster. 96 00:04:44,435 --> 00:04:45,436 Hmm. 97 00:04:46,137 --> 00:04:47,973 (SLURPING) 98 00:04:48,006 --> 00:04:50,475 Okay, no electronic guidance system here. 99 00:04:50,509 --> 00:04:55,881 You're safe for now, 'cause I've got news for you, Skippy. 100 00:04:55,914 --> 00:04:58,717 That wasn't a whale looking for a suntan out there. 101 00:04:58,750 --> 00:05:02,387 That was a deliberate attempt on your life. 102 00:05:04,656 --> 00:05:08,727 -(BOTH LAUGH) -(LAUGHS SARCASTICALLY) 103 00:05:08,760 --> 00:05:12,297 Go on, laugh at the funny pet detective. 104 00:05:12,330 --> 00:05:13,331 I'll be the one laughing 105 00:05:13,365 --> 00:05:16,335 when you have 20 tons of balaenoptera musculus 106 00:05:16,369 --> 00:05:17,904 sitting on your face. 107 00:05:17,937 --> 00:05:23,009 You mean like that balae... Balae... 108 00:05:23,042 --> 00:05:25,011 -Come on. -Balae... 109 00:05:25,044 --> 00:05:28,314 -Come on. -Mega fish! 110 00:05:28,614 --> 00:05:29,615 ACE: Huh? 111 00:05:30,149 --> 00:05:31,350 Oh. 112 00:05:31,384 --> 00:05:32,818 Check, please. 113 00:05:32,852 --> 00:05:34,220 (ALL CLAMORING) 114 00:05:36,689 --> 00:05:38,291 (ALL SCREAM) 115 00:05:42,129 --> 00:05:46,333 The same whale plops in Skip Tracer's lap twice in one day. 116 00:05:46,366 --> 00:05:50,504 Obviously, just a coincidence. I can see my work is done here. 117 00:05:51,138 --> 00:05:54,942 No, wait. You were right. 118 00:05:54,975 --> 00:05:57,644 Man, I'm tired of being right. 119 00:05:57,678 --> 00:05:58,946 But spank you for noticing. 120 00:05:58,979 --> 00:06:01,281 (SPIKE CHATTERING) 121 00:06:01,315 --> 00:06:05,152 You salvaged the dinner rolls. Quick work, banana boy. 122 00:06:07,888 --> 00:06:11,593 Now, that whale was electronically dispatched 123 00:06:11,626 --> 00:06:14,996 to perform a Skip Tracer wipeout. 124 00:06:15,029 --> 00:06:16,764 -Didn't think I spoke surfer, did you? -Uh... Yeah. 125 00:06:16,798 --> 00:06:18,566 Key ideas, pay attention. 126 00:06:18,600 --> 00:06:21,970 Who did it? What's the motive? A jealous girlfriend? 127 00:06:22,003 --> 00:06:25,406 A surf rival who keeps getting bumped off the big one? 128 00:06:25,440 --> 00:06:28,543 A disgruntled former Seas of Knowledge host? 129 00:06:28,576 --> 00:06:30,245 French doctor of oceanography? 130 00:06:30,278 --> 00:06:35,016 No big secret, he was dumped from his show by golden boy here. 131 00:06:35,049 --> 00:06:38,454 You mean Jacques DuMonc? But he's... 132 00:06:38,487 --> 00:06:39,822 Sleeping with the fishes? 133 00:06:39,855 --> 00:06:42,725 Literally. Freak diving accident. 134 00:06:42,758 --> 00:06:45,127 Got a blue marlin right through the chest. 135 00:06:45,160 --> 00:06:48,430 Well, dead men tell no tales, 136 00:06:48,464 --> 00:06:50,599 which is why they make lousy suspects. 137 00:06:50,633 --> 00:06:53,068 When you slap them around looking for answers, 138 00:06:53,102 --> 00:06:54,803 they crumble to dust. 139 00:06:54,837 --> 00:06:58,540 However, there's an innocent whale out there who's going to miss migration 140 00:06:58,574 --> 00:07:01,076 because someone's making a killer whale out of him. 141 00:07:01,110 --> 00:07:02,678 And that someone needs a spanking, 142 00:07:02,711 --> 00:07:06,283 which is why I'll be waiting for him when he strikes again. 143 00:07:11,921 --> 00:07:12,956 All clear. 144 00:07:12,989 --> 00:07:15,592 (WHOOPING) 145 00:07:17,027 --> 00:07:20,797 Dude! My place is a mile from the ocean. 146 00:07:20,830 --> 00:07:22,866 No whale's going to get me here. 147 00:07:22,899 --> 00:07:25,201 MAN: (ON RADIO) We interrupt this program for an emergency bulletin. 148 00:07:25,235 --> 00:07:30,073 A whale, I repeat, a whale has just been sighted heading down Palm Boulevard. 149 00:07:30,106 --> 00:07:32,543 Think again, Johnny Waterlog. 150 00:07:33,344 --> 00:07:36,580 (SCREAMS) Whale! 151 00:07:36,614 --> 00:07:38,449 Where? 152 00:07:41,819 --> 00:07:43,754 (YELPS) Ooh! 153 00:07:43,788 --> 00:07:45,222 Ew! 154 00:07:45,256 --> 00:07:49,393 The thought of swallowing Skip gives me intestinal spasms. 155 00:07:49,427 --> 00:07:50,661 Let's roll! 156 00:07:54,632 --> 00:07:56,167 (BEEPING) 157 00:07:58,369 --> 00:08:01,340 Get out of the whale-pool lane! 158 00:08:07,045 --> 00:08:11,083 Bella's got love handles. Yes! 159 00:08:11,817 --> 00:08:13,652 No! No! 160 00:08:17,255 --> 00:08:18,256 Ouch. 161 00:08:20,592 --> 00:08:21,660 (GROANS) 162 00:08:21,693 --> 00:08:25,197 This is definitely going to push up my premium. Hmm. 163 00:08:28,067 --> 00:08:29,302 Shortcut. 164 00:08:30,069 --> 00:08:32,739 (SCREAMING) 165 00:08:36,109 --> 00:08:39,045 -You okay in there, beach boy? -Whoa. 166 00:08:39,078 --> 00:08:40,847 Hang ten, daddy-o. 167 00:08:40,880 --> 00:08:45,051 This whale's going to take us straight to the big kahuna. 168 00:08:51,024 --> 00:08:52,392 -(GASPS) -(SPIKE SHRIEKS) 169 00:08:52,425 --> 00:08:53,494 ALL: Spike! 170 00:08:58,999 --> 00:09:00,200 (GURGLING) 171 00:09:00,667 --> 00:09:02,369 (SCREAMS) 172 00:09:05,239 --> 00:09:07,941 You! You ain't no catch of the day. 173 00:09:07,975 --> 00:09:10,144 You just missed it, chum bucket, 174 00:09:10,177 --> 00:09:14,181 the biggest whale on Earth, next to you. 175 00:09:14,515 --> 00:09:15,516 (LAUGHS) 176 00:09:21,122 --> 00:09:24,059 (YELPING) 177 00:09:24,092 --> 00:09:26,895 Your head, what is that? It's hard as a rock. 178 00:09:26,928 --> 00:09:29,431 Ace brown hair cement. 179 00:09:29,464 --> 00:09:31,332 It's more than a fashion statement. 180 00:09:31,366 --> 00:09:34,369 It conditions while it protects. I'm soaking in it. 181 00:09:34,402 --> 00:09:37,305 Okay, Hemingway, know where I can rent a skiff? 182 00:09:37,338 --> 00:09:38,773 I've got a whale to catch. 183 00:09:38,807 --> 00:09:41,276 (HORN HONKS) 184 00:09:41,309 --> 00:09:43,211 On second thought, 185 00:09:43,244 --> 00:09:48,551 come on, monkey man, we're joining the navy. 186 00:09:50,352 --> 00:09:52,655 Captain, I appeal to your sense of decency 187 00:09:52,688 --> 00:09:54,623 to change the course of this vessel. 188 00:09:54,657 --> 00:09:57,793 The life of a whale depends on it. 189 00:09:57,827 --> 00:09:59,695 Poseidon's beachball! 190 00:10:02,398 --> 00:10:04,667 I've entered a nautical chamber of horrors. 191 00:10:04,700 --> 00:10:06,836 You one of those animal rights pinkos? 192 00:10:08,437 --> 00:10:12,641 That's for me to know, and you to find out. 193 00:10:19,082 --> 00:10:21,585 I seek the whale. 194 00:10:21,618 --> 00:10:22,752 Captain? 195 00:10:22,786 --> 00:10:25,622 The agency sent me. I'm the temp. The temp captain. 196 00:10:25,655 --> 00:10:27,524 What happened to Captain Stewart? 197 00:10:29,626 --> 00:10:32,696 Please, have mercy. 198 00:10:32,729 --> 00:10:34,831 Not my prized marlin. 199 00:10:38,135 --> 00:10:39,469 Okay, sailor, 200 00:10:39,503 --> 00:10:41,638 see anything large and moving faster than my innards 201 00:10:41,671 --> 00:10:43,774 after an espresso and a bran muffin? 202 00:10:43,808 --> 00:10:45,576 (MACHINE BEEPING) 203 00:10:45,610 --> 00:10:48,012 Two miles south and disappearing fast. 204 00:10:48,045 --> 00:10:50,848 Good work, man. Follow that whale. 205 00:10:50,882 --> 00:10:52,950 (CHATTERING) 206 00:10:55,820 --> 00:10:59,323 Keep your eye on the bouncing ball, matey. 207 00:10:59,357 --> 00:11:02,260 I'll be on the poop deck dropping off the captain's log. 208 00:11:02,293 --> 00:11:04,061 I want to have a word with you. 209 00:11:04,095 --> 00:11:06,030 And I with you. 210 00:11:06,063 --> 00:11:09,166 This ship has a dress code, sailor. 211 00:11:09,200 --> 00:11:10,936 Men, throw him in the brig. 212 00:11:10,969 --> 00:11:13,939 You can't tell them what to do. I'm the captain. 213 00:11:13,972 --> 00:11:15,707 Really? So am I. 214 00:11:15,741 --> 00:11:18,677 (SHRIEKS) My evil twin. 215 00:11:18,710 --> 00:11:21,079 Quick, fetch the sacred book of the mariner. 216 00:11:21,113 --> 00:11:24,416 We must read Neptune's incantation backwards five times 217 00:11:24,449 --> 00:11:27,386 and cast the sea spawn to the abyss from whence he came. 218 00:11:27,419 --> 00:11:29,221 I'll have you put in irons. 219 00:11:29,254 --> 00:11:31,156 After you say "anchors aweigh." 220 00:11:31,189 --> 00:11:32,558 Anchors aweigh? 221 00:11:32,591 --> 00:11:33,892 Spank you. 222 00:11:36,995 --> 00:11:39,599 (SCREAMS) 223 00:11:42,735 --> 00:11:45,872 Loo-hoo-se-her! 224 00:11:47,707 --> 00:11:51,210 It's the blue whale, Captain. We're closing in. 225 00:11:51,244 --> 00:11:56,082 Yes! That's the way I like it. Uh-huh! Uh-huh! 226 00:11:56,115 --> 00:11:58,151 ♪ Feeling hot, hot, hot ♪ 227 00:11:58,184 --> 00:11:59,719 (CHATTERING) 228 00:12:01,120 --> 00:12:04,123 At ease, boatswain. What is it? 229 00:12:04,157 --> 00:12:06,961 (CHATTERING) 230 00:12:06,994 --> 00:12:10,431 The men speak of mutiny. 231 00:12:10,464 --> 00:12:12,800 -Mutiny? -Fret not, Nelly. 232 00:12:12,833 --> 00:12:16,704 I'll soon have the mutineers eating out of my hand. 233 00:12:19,306 --> 00:12:21,575 -Mm! -Settle down, boys! 234 00:12:21,609 --> 00:12:25,746 It's time for Captain Ace, unplugged. 235 00:12:25,779 --> 00:12:27,648 ALL: Yay! 236 00:12:27,681 --> 00:12:33,288 ♪ Oh, I'm a sailing man Of that I'm sure 237 00:12:33,321 --> 00:12:37,125 ♪ I've sailed them down to the last 238 00:12:37,158 --> 00:12:40,829 ♪ My mizzenmast is whizzing past 239 00:12:40,862 --> 00:12:46,001 ♪ And I never sail without my whale of a tail 240 00:12:47,335 --> 00:12:49,804 ♪ I'm a one-eyed Jack some say I'm cracked 241 00:12:49,838 --> 00:12:51,706 ♪ I'm no captain but I'm number two 242 00:12:51,740 --> 00:12:53,875 ♪ I only sail when the moon is full 243 00:12:53,908 --> 00:12:55,677 ♪ And my poop deck's fairly pooped ♪ 244 00:12:55,710 --> 00:12:58,947 -No, no, make him stop! -(ALL EXCLAIMING) 245 00:12:58,980 --> 00:13:01,317 My ears, they're bleeding. 246 00:13:01,350 --> 00:13:03,519 I can't stand the pain! 247 00:13:10,059 --> 00:13:11,761 Hello, skipper. 248 00:13:11,794 --> 00:13:14,597 (GROWLS) I'll have you court-martialed. 249 00:13:14,630 --> 00:13:16,332 You can't court-martial me. 250 00:13:16,365 --> 00:13:17,933 I'm a civilian, remember? 251 00:13:17,967 --> 00:13:22,238 That suits me fine, stowaway. I'll have you keelhauled. 252 00:13:22,271 --> 00:13:27,778 All righty then. You leave me no choice but to walk the plank. 253 00:13:27,811 --> 00:13:29,079 Take care. Bye-bye. 254 00:13:33,483 --> 00:13:36,653 Now, our whale should be around here somewhere. 255 00:13:37,788 --> 00:13:38,989 After that maniac! 256 00:13:39,022 --> 00:13:42,459 Captain, we can't do anything without our sonar. 257 00:13:42,492 --> 00:13:45,062 What do you mean "without our sonar"? 258 00:13:45,095 --> 00:13:46,496 (BEEPING) 259 00:13:46,530 --> 00:13:49,633 ACE: There she blows. 260 00:13:49,666 --> 00:13:52,469 Pet dick to Moby Dick. Pet dick to Moby Dick. 261 00:13:52,502 --> 00:13:53,804 Do you read me? (GASPS) 262 00:13:57,775 --> 00:13:59,010 (BOTH YELP) 263 00:14:01,879 --> 00:14:05,717 I'm hungry, but I just don't feel like a sub. 264 00:14:13,925 --> 00:14:14,759 Hard body. 265 00:14:14,792 --> 00:14:16,761 Either Moby's been going to the gym, 266 00:14:16,794 --> 00:14:19,063 or we got the wrong whale. Hmm? 267 00:14:19,097 --> 00:14:21,800 (SPEAKING WITH FRENCH ACCENT) What are you doing on my vessel? 268 00:14:21,834 --> 00:14:23,135 Glad you asked. 269 00:14:23,168 --> 00:14:27,039 I was looking for a whale when your vessel rear-ended my dinghy. 270 00:14:27,506 --> 00:14:28,974 (SPIKE SCREAMS) 271 00:14:32,311 --> 00:14:34,446 Nothing I can't buff out. 272 00:14:34,480 --> 00:14:37,549 You haven't seen any whales around here, have you? 273 00:14:37,583 --> 00:14:40,018 No, no whales around here. 274 00:14:40,052 --> 00:14:42,421 Really? 275 00:14:42,454 --> 00:14:44,156 Maybe I should come down and have a look around. 276 00:14:44,189 --> 00:14:48,695 I am afraid insurance regulations prohibit that. 277 00:14:48,728 --> 00:14:54,501 (STRAINING) I'm sorry, I really have to use the latrine. 278 00:14:55,435 --> 00:14:57,971 I think it's the navy bean soup. Phew! 279 00:14:59,839 --> 00:15:00,840 (SPIKE SHRIEKS) 280 00:15:04,978 --> 00:15:06,913 Nice place you have. 281 00:15:06,946 --> 00:15:08,581 You really ought to get it steam cleaned. 282 00:15:08,615 --> 00:15:11,384 I thought you had to use the facility. 283 00:15:11,417 --> 00:15:13,953 Shh. I couldn't wait. 284 00:15:14,420 --> 00:15:16,524 (SPEAKING FRENCH) 285 00:15:16,557 --> 00:15:18,159 Hey? I'm sorry? 286 00:15:18,192 --> 00:15:21,462 Did you say something about an all-male dance review? 287 00:15:21,495 --> 00:15:23,130 No, I said... 288 00:15:23,164 --> 00:15:24,932 ACE: Oh, save your breath, crusty. 289 00:15:24,965 --> 00:15:27,067 No one understands French around here. 290 00:15:27,101 --> 00:15:29,336 How did you know I am French? 291 00:15:29,370 --> 00:15:31,672 Gee, I don't know. 292 00:15:31,705 --> 00:15:35,109 Maybe this box of Jerry Lewis videos gave it away. 293 00:15:35,142 --> 00:15:37,444 Uh... They were a gift. 294 00:15:37,478 --> 00:15:39,513 Allow me to explain. 295 00:15:39,547 --> 00:15:41,248 You're really Jacques DuMonkey, 296 00:15:41,282 --> 00:15:45,420 ex Seas of Knowledge host and current would-be-assassin. 297 00:15:45,453 --> 00:15:47,589 Oui, oui, monsieur, I am Jacques. 298 00:15:47,622 --> 00:15:50,992 And you are... How you say, a dead man. 299 00:15:51,026 --> 00:15:53,862 No, you're the dead man. 300 00:15:53,895 --> 00:15:55,430 At least that's what they told me. 301 00:15:55,464 --> 00:15:56,898 But I know you faked your demise 302 00:15:56,932 --> 00:16:00,335 and were behind all this from the very beginning. 303 00:16:00,368 --> 00:16:02,304 Only you had the motive. 304 00:16:02,337 --> 00:16:04,773 Fired from the Seas of Knowledge due to low ratings 305 00:16:04,806 --> 00:16:07,342 and the high cost of a 24-hour English tutor, 306 00:16:07,375 --> 00:16:10,880 you, who supposedly died in a freak gefilte fish accident. 307 00:16:10,913 --> 00:16:14,417 Marlin accident through the chest. 308 00:16:14,450 --> 00:16:16,118 But you were really out to sea, 309 00:16:16,152 --> 00:16:18,921 plotting your revenge against your hip new replacement, 310 00:16:18,955 --> 00:16:22,458 a bonehead surfer who doesn't know a scallop from a sea monkey. 311 00:16:22,491 --> 00:16:25,862 Dude, you came to rescue me! 312 00:16:25,895 --> 00:16:27,230 Whatever. 313 00:16:27,263 --> 00:16:31,067 Okay, Jacquise, where's the whale and what have you done to him? 314 00:16:31,100 --> 00:16:34,637 The whale is all part of my elaborate revenge scheme, 315 00:16:34,670 --> 00:16:37,139 which you are too late to stop. 316 00:16:37,173 --> 00:16:39,176 As you already know, 317 00:16:39,209 --> 00:16:42,779 this whale is under my electronic command. 318 00:16:42,813 --> 00:16:44,448 See that explorer pod? 319 00:16:44,481 --> 00:16:47,918 It houses a powerful sonic explosive device, 320 00:16:47,951 --> 00:16:52,289 where with the flick of this, the bomb will go off. 321 00:16:52,890 --> 00:16:54,057 Boom! 322 00:16:54,091 --> 00:16:57,494 Unleashing a wall of water that will destroy Skip Tracer 323 00:16:57,527 --> 00:17:01,732 and his entire staff of idiots once and for all. 324 00:17:01,765 --> 00:17:05,035 This French dude's a trip, man! 325 00:17:05,068 --> 00:17:06,070 What about the whale? 326 00:17:06,104 --> 00:17:08,840 Boom as well, blubber everywhere. 327 00:17:08,873 --> 00:17:11,676 And you call yourself a man of ocean science? 328 00:17:11,709 --> 00:17:14,245 Who are you to question moi? 329 00:17:14,279 --> 00:17:17,749 Who am I? Who am I? 330 00:17:17,782 --> 00:17:19,550 (IN GERMAN ACCENT) I am Heinz Getwellvet, 331 00:17:19,584 --> 00:17:22,320 trainer of dolphins and friend to the whale. 332 00:17:22,353 --> 00:17:25,256 We play cards, we go to the movies, 333 00:17:25,290 --> 00:17:29,127 we eat the tiny plankton fishes together by candlelight. 334 00:17:29,160 --> 00:17:34,500 So, if you harm one little parasitic cestode on the whale's dorsal fin, 335 00:17:34,533 --> 00:17:37,336 I will put my German steel-tip boot 336 00:17:37,369 --> 00:17:38,804 up your French dorsal fin, 337 00:17:38,837 --> 00:17:41,607 which is to say your keister, heinie, tuchus. 338 00:17:41,640 --> 00:17:44,877 Spear through the chest, or ride the bomb with monsieur stupide? 339 00:17:45,344 --> 00:17:46,478 Choice is yours. 340 00:17:46,512 --> 00:17:48,747 (IN NORMAL ACCENT) Gee, let me think. 341 00:17:48,781 --> 00:17:53,252 You know, Jacquola, while I mull this one over, how about a last request? 342 00:17:53,285 --> 00:17:55,387 And what would that be? 343 00:17:56,388 --> 00:17:58,624 To play my ukulele. 344 00:17:58,657 --> 00:17:59,859 By all means. 345 00:17:59,893 --> 00:18:01,962 I appreciate the soft, sweet strains 346 00:18:01,995 --> 00:18:04,731 of a friendly played ukulele. 347 00:18:04,764 --> 00:18:10,136 ♪ Oh, I'm a sailing man Of that I'm sure 348 00:18:10,170 --> 00:18:13,373 ♪ I've sailed them down to the last 349 00:18:14,374 --> 00:18:15,542 ♪ My mizzen... 350 00:18:15,575 --> 00:18:18,812 I know that sound. It's seared into my brain. 351 00:18:18,845 --> 00:18:20,447 Man the depth charges! 352 00:18:20,480 --> 00:18:23,249 But, Captain, our guidance system, 353 00:18:23,283 --> 00:18:24,951 we don't even know where we are. 354 00:18:24,985 --> 00:18:26,486 Then fire them in every direction! 355 00:18:26,519 --> 00:18:27,655 Just get him! 356 00:18:27,688 --> 00:18:29,657 ♪ I only sail when the moon is full 357 00:18:29,690 --> 00:18:30,992 ♪ And my poop deck's... ♪ 358 00:18:33,027 --> 00:18:35,329 Did I mention I was tone deaf? 359 00:18:35,363 --> 00:18:36,864 -(EXPLOSION) -(BOTH SCREAM) 360 00:18:38,366 --> 00:18:40,067 Go, navy. 361 00:18:43,471 --> 00:18:45,906 (ALL SCREAMING) 362 00:18:49,944 --> 00:18:50,945 Phew! 363 00:18:53,247 --> 00:18:54,248 Go! 364 00:18:55,450 --> 00:18:57,119 (BEEPING) 365 00:18:58,387 --> 00:18:59,721 (BOTH GROAN) 366 00:19:01,623 --> 00:19:04,426 Holy tentacle Tuesday! 367 00:19:04,459 --> 00:19:06,261 We're in the boom-boom room! 368 00:19:06,294 --> 00:19:10,032 If I'm not back in five minutes, just wait longer. 369 00:19:11,666 --> 00:19:13,035 (INHALES DEEPLY) 370 00:19:19,207 --> 00:19:20,208 (BEEPING) 371 00:19:25,281 --> 00:19:26,382 (YELPS) 372 00:19:28,251 --> 00:19:30,219 (EXHALES) 373 00:19:30,253 --> 00:19:32,722 Do not go out there. 374 00:19:34,457 --> 00:19:36,325 (LAUGHS MANIACALLY) 375 00:19:37,927 --> 00:19:42,331 Sacrebleu! Whale! 376 00:19:42,365 --> 00:19:45,201 ACE: Yes, we can rest easy. 377 00:19:45,234 --> 00:19:47,270 The great whale is free. 378 00:19:47,303 --> 00:19:50,340 Free to join up with his migrating mates. 379 00:19:50,374 --> 00:19:51,875 Dude! 380 00:19:51,909 --> 00:19:55,212 Oh, that. Chill out, boogie boy. 381 00:19:55,245 --> 00:19:56,513 Spike has the detonator. 382 00:19:57,281 --> 00:19:58,282 Spike? 383 00:20:01,552 --> 00:20:02,753 Whoa! 384 00:20:05,789 --> 00:20:07,224 (SHRIEKS) 385 00:20:07,257 --> 00:20:08,826 (BOTH SCREAM) 386 00:20:09,960 --> 00:20:13,230 SKIP: (WHOOPING) Surf's up! 387 00:20:13,263 --> 00:20:14,732 Awesome! 388 00:20:14,765 --> 00:20:17,102 Could have had a spear in the chest, 389 00:20:17,135 --> 00:20:21,873 but no, I had to pick the bomb. 390 00:20:21,906 --> 00:20:23,608 This is your Coast Guard. 391 00:20:23,641 --> 00:20:25,710 We have a sudden tsunami alert! 392 00:20:25,744 --> 00:20:27,378 Clear the area. I repeat, clear the area! 393 00:20:27,412 --> 00:20:32,350 Great! Skip's been missing for hours. Now this. 394 00:20:32,383 --> 00:20:33,852 Wait, is that... 395 00:20:34,385 --> 00:20:36,521 Why, it's Skip! 396 00:20:36,554 --> 00:20:38,790 Cameras, roll 'em! 397 00:20:38,823 --> 00:20:41,392 -(SKIP WHOOPING) -(GASPS) 398 00:20:42,627 --> 00:20:46,132 Land, ho! 399 00:20:48,634 --> 00:20:50,870 (WHOOPING) 400 00:20:50,903 --> 00:20:53,873 DIRECTOR: Skip! Baby! 401 00:20:53,906 --> 00:20:56,242 Did you catch that ride, man? 402 00:20:56,275 --> 00:21:00,379 On tape, Skip, babe, every bit of it on tape. 403 00:21:00,412 --> 00:21:03,916 This is the publicity event of the year. 404 00:21:03,949 --> 00:21:06,519 Our ratings will go through the roof. 405 00:21:06,552 --> 00:21:09,622 Spike! Spike! 406 00:21:09,655 --> 00:21:13,293 Spike, my friend, my confidante, 407 00:21:13,326 --> 00:21:16,429 my secondary source of sight gags. 408 00:21:16,463 --> 00:21:19,332 I'll never find another you. 409 00:21:19,366 --> 00:21:22,435 Your revenge failed, DuMonc, but mine's just begun. 410 00:21:22,469 --> 00:21:26,473 Big blue and I will search the seven seas for your smelly French hide. 411 00:21:26,506 --> 00:21:27,607 (JACQUES YELPS) 412 00:21:28,275 --> 00:21:29,276 (JACQUES THUDS) 413 00:21:30,744 --> 00:21:32,179 Ahoy there! 414 00:21:32,212 --> 00:21:37,250 You're about to be had by Ace Ventura, Pet Avenger. 415 00:21:42,990 --> 00:21:46,194 Spike. Some pal you are. 416 00:21:46,227 --> 00:21:48,129 I'm riding a tidal wave with Moondoggie, 417 00:21:48,162 --> 00:21:51,833 while you kick back on the Geppetto express. 418 00:21:51,866 --> 00:21:54,101 Always looking for the easy way out. 419 00:21:54,135 --> 00:21:55,903 There, there he lies. 420 00:21:55,937 --> 00:21:58,472 I want that lunatic under lock and key. 421 00:21:58,906 --> 00:22:00,908 Full steam ahead! 422 00:22:00,942 --> 00:22:03,444 But, Captain, our ship. 423 00:22:04,712 --> 00:22:06,915 (LAUGHING) 424 00:22:10,419 --> 00:22:12,421 (THEME SONG PLAYING) 425 00:22:14,000 --> 00:22:20,074 Watch Online Movies and Series for FREE www.osdb.link/lm 426 00:22:32,641 --> 00:22:34,477 ♪ He's Ace Ventura ♪ 427 00:22:34,510 --> 00:22:36,279 ♪ Pet detective ♪ 427 00:22:37,305 --> 00:23:37,222 Watch Online Movies and Series for FREE www.osdb.link/lm