"Minder" A Number of Old Wives Tales

1 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074 Do you want subtitles for any video? -=[ ai.OpenSubtitles.com ]=- 2 00:00:51,140 --> 00:00:54,232 I could be so good for you. 3 00:00:55,568 --> 00:00:58,499 Love you like you want me to. 4 00:01:03,670 --> 00:01:06,879 I could be so good for you. 5 00:01:08,127 --> 00:01:11,245 Love you like you want me to. 6 00:01:31,860 --> 00:01:32,860 All right, Tolt? 7 00:01:33,500 --> 00:01:34,080 Yeah, you all right? 8 00:01:34,380 --> 00:01:34,500 Yeah. 9 00:01:34,840 --> 00:01:35,140 Cheers. 10 00:01:35,560 --> 00:01:36,220 Where have you been, then? 11 00:01:36,440 --> 00:01:37,760 I've been all over the place. 12 00:01:37,880 --> 00:01:38,880 Went to Spain once. 13 00:01:39,220 --> 00:01:40,220 That was very good. 14 00:01:40,440 --> 00:01:41,976 Don't take it up for a living, though, will you? 15 00:01:42,000 --> 00:01:42,520 What's that? 16 00:01:42,720 --> 00:01:43,420 Cracking gags. 17 00:01:43,620 --> 00:01:44,160 Is this my gear? 18 00:01:44,500 --> 00:01:44,980 Yeah, that's it. 19 00:01:45,400 --> 00:01:47,360 Arthur reckons it's all top-quality smutter, this. 20 00:01:47,620 --> 00:01:48,620 Good. 21 00:01:48,720 --> 00:01:49,976 I've got your tea in here and all. 22 00:01:50,000 --> 00:01:50,260 Right. 23 00:01:50,600 --> 00:01:50,860 That's all. 24 00:01:51,000 --> 00:01:52,000 Is that it? 25 00:01:52,220 --> 00:01:54,980 He also asked me to mention the old COD. 26 00:01:55,640 --> 00:01:56,100 What's the matter? 27 00:01:56,220 --> 00:01:56,840 Don't he trust me, then? 28 00:01:56,920 --> 00:01:58,520 Nah, you know what he's like, confident. 29 00:01:58,760 --> 00:01:59,760 He lacks confidence. 30 00:02:03,480 --> 00:02:07,900 You want me to lend you the wedge to buy a pick-up so you can go hoisting motors. 31 00:02:08,325 --> 00:02:09,340 Do I look like a dummy? 32 00:02:09,790 --> 00:02:13,780 Would I ask someone who holds a conversation upside down to lend me a 33 00:02:13,781 --> 00:02:16,660 seven and a half for a pick-up if I thought he was a dummy, Arthur? 34 00:02:17,045 --> 00:02:18,496 What's wrong with the pick-up you got? 35 00:02:18,520 --> 00:02:20,100 It don't pick up no more. 36 00:02:20,300 --> 00:02:22,796 I've got to stop this or I'm getting a rush of blood to the head. 37 00:02:22,820 --> 00:02:23,820 No, no, no. 38 00:02:24,045 --> 00:02:26,280 Arthur, that's the rush of generosity. 39 00:02:29,540 --> 00:02:30,540 Clive. 40 00:02:30,880 --> 00:02:31,880 Mavis. 41 00:02:33,300 --> 00:02:34,860 Mavis, Terry, Terry, Mavis. 42 00:02:35,080 --> 00:02:35,260 Hello. 43 00:02:35,980 --> 00:02:37,336 Mavis, a long-time partner of mine. 44 00:02:37,360 --> 00:02:39,120 Looks up the shop for me, don't you, darling? 45 00:02:39,420 --> 00:02:40,420 Yes, love. 46 00:02:40,680 --> 00:02:41,680 That's not all. 47 00:02:41,760 --> 00:02:43,586 Listen, what do you want me to do with that tea, then? 48 00:02:43,610 --> 00:02:46,721 Well, if Arthur could deliver... Where were you last night? 49 00:02:47,900 --> 00:02:50,120 Well, I had to go up to Northampton. 50 00:02:50,840 --> 00:02:51,840 Didn't I tell you? 51 00:02:52,360 --> 00:02:53,780 No, you didn't. 52 00:02:55,220 --> 00:02:57,356 Terry, could you... Yeah, I'll shoot outside, shall I? 53 00:02:57,380 --> 00:02:58,380 Nice to meet you. 54 00:02:58,480 --> 00:02:59,480 Cheers. 55 00:03:02,370 --> 00:03:04,140 When a jelloid's up, that'll do the trick. 56 00:03:04,980 --> 00:03:07,860 I mean, a man your age, you have to watch his blood pressure. 57 00:03:08,240 --> 00:03:09,980 Loons like you'll give me blood pressure. 58 00:03:12,260 --> 00:03:14,176 I mean, it don't take no working out, does it, Arthur? 59 00:03:14,200 --> 00:03:16,380 I mean, 12 quid a tonne. 60 00:03:16,840 --> 00:03:18,336 I mean, there's plenty of perks in it for you. 61 00:03:18,360 --> 00:03:21,200 I mean, wheels, batteries, any other bits and pieces that come across. 62 00:03:22,060 --> 00:03:25,180 I mean, Arthur, one motor can count to 40, 50, 60 quid a lump. 63 00:03:25,680 --> 00:03:26,200 Well, I don't know. 64 00:03:26,220 --> 00:03:27,220 It sounds too simple. 65 00:03:27,380 --> 00:03:28,120 Simpler the better. 66 00:03:28,220 --> 00:03:29,500 I mean, who needs complications? 67 00:03:30,540 --> 00:03:31,580 Well, I'll think about it. 68 00:03:31,820 --> 00:03:33,736 Well, I've got to pick up the collect on Saturday. 69 00:03:33,760 --> 00:03:34,520 No, Saturday's up. 70 00:03:34,560 --> 00:03:35,560 I'm going to a wedding. 71 00:03:37,460 --> 00:03:38,740 I'm sorry to hear that, Arthur. 72 00:03:39,460 --> 00:03:40,460 I wish no-one would know. 73 00:03:41,240 --> 00:03:42,240 Best man, me? 74 00:03:42,560 --> 00:03:44,096 Yeah, well, Arthur's agreed to get the bride away. 75 00:03:44,120 --> 00:03:45,160 He said you wouldn't mind. 76 00:03:45,760 --> 00:03:47,120 Well, didn't he mention it to you? 77 00:03:47,560 --> 00:03:47,880 No. 78 00:03:48,120 --> 00:03:49,200 He must have forgotten. 79 00:03:50,340 --> 00:03:51,500 Well, you don't mind, do you? 80 00:03:52,660 --> 00:03:54,980 Yeah, but I mean, haven't you got a best mate or something? 81 00:03:55,340 --> 00:03:56,920 I don't know you all that well, do I? 82 00:03:57,240 --> 00:04:00,280 Terry, I know a proper person when I meet one. 83 00:04:00,700 --> 00:04:02,940 And I consider it a right favour if you do me the honour. 84 00:04:04,480 --> 00:04:06,520 Well, I suppose if Arthur's doing it, yeah. 85 00:04:06,620 --> 00:04:07,340 Yeah, why not? 86 00:04:07,420 --> 00:04:08,420 Yeah, yeah. 87 00:04:08,620 --> 00:04:09,620 Thanks, Tel. 88 00:04:09,900 --> 00:04:10,980 Yeah, I was sure you would. 89 00:04:11,480 --> 00:04:12,680 So who's the lucky lady, then? 90 00:04:12,820 --> 00:04:13,200 Mavis? 91 00:04:13,720 --> 00:04:15,360 No, no, no. 92 00:04:16,540 --> 00:04:17,540 Someone else. 93 00:04:17,800 --> 00:04:18,800 Who? 94 00:04:19,760 --> 00:04:20,760 Angie. 95 00:04:21,340 --> 00:04:22,340 Lovely lady. 96 00:04:23,260 --> 00:04:24,380 Yeah, you'd like her, Terry. 97 00:04:25,960 --> 00:04:27,940 It's a wonderful thing, love, you know, Terry. 98 00:04:28,980 --> 00:04:30,020 When you get that feeling. 99 00:04:30,860 --> 00:04:31,860 Those vibes. 100 00:04:32,940 --> 00:04:34,400 Physical and mental rapport. 101 00:04:34,800 --> 00:04:35,800 Two people as one. 102 00:04:36,640 --> 00:04:38,040 It's the best feeling in the world. 103 00:04:39,300 --> 00:04:41,920 Yep, fills you full of confidence, doesn't it? 104 00:04:42,240 --> 00:04:43,900 I had a thing with a singer once. 105 00:04:44,860 --> 00:04:46,940 All the things we used to get up to in close harmony. 106 00:04:48,680 --> 00:04:52,520 Mind you, in the end, she ran off with this geezer with a horn. 107 00:04:53,605 --> 00:04:56,780 This particular one I've got in mind is definitely going as soon as possible. 108 00:04:57,460 --> 00:04:59,159 As a matter of fact, the Governor intends to 109 00:04:59,160 --> 00:05:00,880 replace the whole fleet before the end of the month. 110 00:05:00,881 --> 00:05:02,500 What's so special about this one? 111 00:05:03,140 --> 00:05:04,140 A lot of mileage. 112 00:05:04,920 --> 00:05:05,920 That can be cured. 113 00:05:06,540 --> 00:05:08,580 Besides, it's starting to cost a lot in maintenance. 114 00:05:11,420 --> 00:05:12,800 I'll tell you what I'd do, Roland. 115 00:05:14,580 --> 00:05:16,040 You dirty it up a bit. 116 00:05:16,360 --> 00:05:18,280 A few scratches on the paintwork, you know. 117 00:05:18,720 --> 00:05:20,669 And I'll make your Governor an offer that he'll 118 00:05:20,670 --> 00:05:22,590 think is a gift by the time you've persuaded him. 119 00:05:22,920 --> 00:05:23,920 And what's my end? 120 00:05:24,160 --> 00:05:26,340 Well, let's say 30... No, no, no. 121 00:05:27,180 --> 00:05:28,180 50 sobs. 122 00:05:28,500 --> 00:05:28,900 Deal? 123 00:05:29,340 --> 00:05:30,340 Deal. 124 00:05:31,480 --> 00:05:32,000 There you go. 125 00:05:32,380 --> 00:05:33,100 That's all right, I've got it now. 126 00:05:33,220 --> 00:05:33,640 What's the matter? 127 00:05:33,720 --> 00:05:34,720 I'm a cripple? 128 00:05:34,780 --> 00:05:35,340 Suit yourself. 129 00:05:35,440 --> 00:05:36,920 You saved your strength for Saturday. 130 00:05:37,040 --> 00:05:37,320 Me? 131 00:05:37,680 --> 00:05:38,856 It's you who's getting married. 132 00:05:38,880 --> 00:05:39,880 All right, all right. 133 00:05:41,160 --> 00:05:42,800 No need to go shouting it about, is there? 134 00:05:43,860 --> 00:05:44,180 All right. 135 00:05:44,780 --> 00:05:46,536 Angie and I want it to be a very private affair. 136 00:05:46,560 --> 00:05:48,000 You start broadcasting it to people. 137 00:05:48,220 --> 00:05:49,700 They'll all want to come, won't they? 138 00:05:59,620 --> 00:06:00,820 Made your mind up yet, Arthur? 139 00:06:01,580 --> 00:06:02,580 What's this, the punters? 140 00:06:03,360 --> 00:06:04,680 No, a pal of mine in the trade. 141 00:06:04,985 --> 00:06:06,591 Wants me to wind back the mileage for him. 142 00:06:06,615 --> 00:06:08,400 You know the penalties for that, don't you? 143 00:06:09,680 --> 00:06:10,680 Yeah. 144 00:06:11,980 --> 00:06:13,141 So do you, don't you, Arthur? 145 00:06:13,620 --> 00:06:15,981 Now, as it happens, it's the same guy who's got the pick-up. 146 00:06:16,770 --> 00:06:18,160 I have done a deal with him. 147 00:06:18,540 --> 00:06:20,352 He wants me to enhance the value of a few of his 148 00:06:20,353 --> 00:06:22,541 motors, and he'll give us the pick-up for a monkey. 149 00:06:23,100 --> 00:06:26,160 Which, of course, Arthur, as you know, is like giving it away. 150 00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:28,996 Top it back a few more, you can probably get it down to 300. 151 00:06:29,020 --> 00:06:30,020 Hold on, Arthur! 152 00:06:31,220 --> 00:06:32,220 Arthur! 153 00:06:33,320 --> 00:06:34,320 Arthur! 154 00:06:48,360 --> 00:06:49,000 You all right? 155 00:06:49,001 --> 00:06:50,001 Yeah, great. 156 00:06:50,400 --> 00:06:51,720 How many businesses you got? 157 00:06:52,040 --> 00:06:54,340 This and that, you know, all run by birds. 158 00:06:55,080 --> 00:06:58,016 Yeah, well, you stick a geezer in the front for you, chances are he'll turn you over. 159 00:06:58,040 --> 00:07:00,120 Ladies, by and large, keep their fingers out the tip. 160 00:07:00,320 --> 00:07:01,516 Especially if you keep them sweet. 161 00:07:01,540 --> 00:07:04,220 Hey, keep them sweet, not with you till. 162 00:07:05,240 --> 00:07:06,240 You're unbelievable, you. 163 00:07:07,920 --> 00:07:10,120 I mean, do you give all your employees a kiss and a cud? 164 00:07:10,720 --> 00:07:11,320 That? 165 00:07:11,660 --> 00:07:13,980 Well, that's just my way, isn't it? 166 00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:15,600 You know, friendly like. 167 00:07:15,840 --> 00:07:17,120 You're getting married Saturday. 168 00:07:17,760 --> 00:07:18,760 Sorry. 169 00:07:19,100 --> 00:07:20,100 A monkey, all right? 170 00:07:20,750 --> 00:07:21,840 And buy it in my name. 171 00:07:22,180 --> 00:07:24,636 So if it all goes boss, I don't knock it out and get me dough back. 172 00:07:24,660 --> 00:07:25,780 You won't regret it, Arthur. 173 00:07:26,140 --> 00:07:27,826 You've got a fortnight in which to convince me. 174 00:07:27,850 --> 00:07:30,340 If I don't get a good return on my investment, the deal is off. 175 00:07:30,920 --> 00:07:33,476 And I'll have Terry along with me to make sure you don't strike me. 176 00:07:33,500 --> 00:07:34,500 Talk of the devil. 177 00:07:34,740 --> 00:07:35,740 Roger. 178 00:07:36,120 --> 00:07:37,240 Hang on a minute, tell them. 179 00:07:59,020 --> 00:08:00,140 Arthur, about Saturday. 180 00:08:00,820 --> 00:08:02,660 Do you reckon it'd be possible to get a roller? 181 00:08:02,685 --> 00:08:05,136 It'd be lovely for Angie to turn up in style, do you know what I mean? 182 00:08:05,160 --> 00:08:06,637 Yeah, before we get into all that, could we 183 00:08:06,638 --> 00:08:08,501 settle a little bit of outstanding business? 184 00:08:08,920 --> 00:08:10,560 Readies for goods rendered, please. 185 00:08:11,220 --> 00:08:12,220 I'm not holding, Arthur. 186 00:08:12,780 --> 00:08:14,701 I mean, it could be a check now or cash tomorrow. 187 00:08:15,390 --> 00:08:17,191 By the way, Terry's agreed to be best man. 188 00:08:17,540 --> 00:08:18,540 I knew he would. 189 00:08:18,800 --> 00:08:20,281 Make mine a large one, will you, Dave? 190 00:08:21,270 --> 00:08:22,876 I'll tell you what, I'll have one of them and all. 191 00:08:22,900 --> 00:08:24,140 Make them all large ones, Dave. 192 00:08:24,660 --> 00:08:25,080 I'm holding. 193 00:08:25,220 --> 00:08:25,480 Hey! 194 00:08:26,180 --> 00:08:27,180 What's your game? 195 00:08:29,480 --> 00:08:30,480 Angie! 196 00:08:31,140 --> 00:08:32,320 I know you're in there. 197 00:08:33,100 --> 00:08:34,860 Open up, I want to talk with you. 198 00:08:38,660 --> 00:08:39,660 Angie! 199 00:08:57,140 --> 00:08:57,900 You want a roller? 200 00:08:58,140 --> 00:08:59,140 I'll get you a roller. 201 00:08:59,460 --> 00:09:01,100 I'll even be your chauffeur, if you like. 202 00:09:01,520 --> 00:09:02,716 I mean, you're going to need a driver, aren't you? 203 00:09:02,740 --> 00:09:05,076 What with Arthur giving the bride away and Terry being best man. 204 00:09:05,100 --> 00:09:05,380 Yeah. 205 00:09:05,920 --> 00:09:06,936 Well, can you really get one? 206 00:09:06,960 --> 00:09:07,960 I'm confident. 207 00:09:08,520 --> 00:09:09,520 Confident. 208 00:09:09,920 --> 00:09:12,036 Now, I've got a pal of mine in the trades, got one on his front. 209 00:09:12,060 --> 00:09:13,060 Owes me a favour. 210 00:09:13,660 --> 00:09:15,038 Of course, if I'm going to be your chauffeur, 211 00:09:15,039 --> 00:09:16,456 I shall want to be invited to the party. 212 00:09:16,480 --> 00:09:17,480 Naturally, naturally. 213 00:09:17,720 --> 00:09:18,640 Yeah, well, you're more than welcome. 214 00:09:18,660 --> 00:09:19,140 Yeah, that's the point. 215 00:09:19,540 --> 00:09:20,980 Where are you holding the reception? 216 00:09:21,260 --> 00:09:24,046 Well, I thought I might have it here, if it's all right with you, Dave. 217 00:09:24,070 --> 00:09:26,736 Yeah, it should be all right, but how many people are you talking about? 218 00:09:26,760 --> 00:09:29,016 Just a few close friends and immediate family, you know. 219 00:09:29,040 --> 00:09:30,180 So, why's that come to you? 220 00:09:30,760 --> 00:09:32,160 Well, there's us five and the wife. 221 00:09:32,320 --> 00:09:35,040 So we won't need Trust House Fortney to do the catering. 222 00:09:40,800 --> 00:09:41,800 Will I do? 223 00:09:42,220 --> 00:09:43,656 Of course, my dear, you look lovely. 224 00:09:43,680 --> 00:09:44,180 Are you sure? 225 00:09:44,420 --> 00:09:46,180 Yes, it'll be a pleasure to give you away. 226 00:09:47,900 --> 00:09:49,180 I do hope Clive thinks so. 227 00:09:49,340 --> 00:09:50,340 Of course he will. 228 00:09:51,480 --> 00:09:54,320 If Arnie doesn't get here with that roller soon, we're going to be late. 229 00:10:01,130 --> 00:10:01,410 Clive? 230 00:10:02,030 --> 00:10:03,030 Oi! 231 00:10:03,100 --> 00:10:04,100 It's me, Terry. 232 00:10:05,790 --> 00:10:06,826 Here we go, are you all right? 233 00:10:06,850 --> 00:10:07,850 Yeah. 234 00:10:08,870 --> 00:10:09,430 One Carnation. 235 00:10:09,650 --> 00:10:10,650 That's nice, yeah. 236 00:10:11,150 --> 00:10:12,070 This is Andy, isn't it, Alan? 237 00:10:12,150 --> 00:10:12,610 You lived here. 238 00:10:12,710 --> 00:10:13,490 No, I don't live here, no. 239 00:10:13,550 --> 00:10:15,110 I'm just looking after it for a friend. 240 00:10:15,170 --> 00:10:16,170 Come, we'd better leg it. 241 00:10:16,410 --> 00:10:18,810 Yeah, I've got to call in the jewellers on the way there. 242 00:10:19,110 --> 00:10:19,430 What for? 243 00:10:20,090 --> 00:10:21,406 I've got to get a ring, haven't I? 244 00:10:21,430 --> 00:10:23,350 Hey, you left it a bit bleeding late, didn't you? 245 00:10:27,810 --> 00:10:29,179 I'll give him another five minutes and then if 246 00:10:29,180 --> 00:10:30,940 he's not here, I think I ought to call a cab. 247 00:10:31,050 --> 00:10:32,130 Yes, perhaps you ought to. 248 00:10:35,910 --> 00:10:37,988 Confident tells... er, Clive, that is, tells me 249 00:10:37,989 --> 00:10:39,790 you're going to move into a nice little flat. 250 00:10:40,050 --> 00:10:40,370 Yes. 251 00:10:40,920 --> 00:10:43,130 He does a small shop underneath that he's taken a lease out on. 252 00:10:43,150 --> 00:10:43,810 Yeah, yeah, he said. 253 00:10:44,095 --> 00:10:46,810 As a matter of fact, I'm supplying him with some gear for the stock. 254 00:10:50,850 --> 00:10:52,010 How long have you lived here? 255 00:10:52,290 --> 00:10:53,290 Just over a year. 256 00:10:54,705 --> 00:10:55,830 I was married once before. 257 00:10:57,280 --> 00:10:58,450 Yes, we had a house. 258 00:10:58,730 --> 00:10:59,410 Really? 259 00:10:59,750 --> 00:11:00,750 In Wilsdon. 260 00:11:01,090 --> 00:11:02,090 Very nice. 261 00:11:02,490 --> 00:11:03,490 Yes, but it all went. 262 00:11:03,870 --> 00:11:04,870 Went? 263 00:11:05,030 --> 00:11:06,710 My ex-husband gambled and drank it away. 264 00:11:08,880 --> 00:11:11,690 Oscar Wilde called it a triumph of hope over experience. 265 00:11:12,130 --> 00:11:12,410 What? 266 00:11:12,975 --> 00:11:14,250 Getting married more than once. 267 00:11:23,210 --> 00:11:24,210 My God. 268 00:11:30,520 --> 00:11:31,520 Hello? 269 00:11:32,160 --> 00:11:33,520 What do you think about Ellie now? 270 00:11:33,860 --> 00:11:34,600 What do I think? 271 00:11:34,840 --> 00:11:37,716 I think I shouldn't have left my car around at the Winchester for a start. 272 00:11:37,740 --> 00:11:40,460 No, it don't look all that, but, I mean, it's mechanically sound. 273 00:11:40,540 --> 00:11:41,820 Where's the roller you promised? 274 00:11:42,040 --> 00:11:43,780 I had a bit of trouble mopping on it. 275 00:11:43,800 --> 00:11:44,520 I don't want to hear it. 276 00:11:44,660 --> 00:11:45,740 I do not want to hear it. 277 00:11:46,120 --> 00:11:48,096 I don't know what you're having a pop of me for, Arthur. 278 00:11:48,120 --> 00:11:48,780 I mean, it was me. 279 00:11:48,980 --> 00:11:50,040 I put myself out for that. 280 00:11:50,320 --> 00:11:51,940 Took me all night to clean that cab out. 281 00:11:52,160 --> 00:11:53,176 Grease on the seats and everything. 282 00:11:53,200 --> 00:11:54,600 Them ribbons stained me in a fiver. 283 00:11:54,690 --> 00:11:55,890 I'm sorry about this, my dear. 284 00:11:56,080 --> 00:11:58,480 But what you see here is a man with a mind of a guppy. 285 00:12:14,010 --> 00:12:15,846 Well, we're a bleeding hell of a day, don't you know? 286 00:12:15,870 --> 00:12:17,270 Poirier should be here in a minute. 287 00:12:17,650 --> 00:12:19,570 It's supposed to start in five minutes, isn't it? 288 00:12:20,170 --> 00:12:22,050 It's a bride's prerogative to be late, isn't it? 289 00:12:23,710 --> 00:12:24,930 My God, look at that! 290 00:12:28,980 --> 00:12:29,980 Angie? 291 00:12:30,500 --> 00:12:31,360 Are you all right, love? 292 00:12:31,400 --> 00:12:32,160 What's all this, then? 293 00:12:32,200 --> 00:12:33,100 Ask this loon. 294 00:12:33,200 --> 00:12:34,240 I'll try my best to tell him. 295 00:12:34,241 --> 00:12:34,700 Yeah, never mind. 296 00:12:34,760 --> 00:12:35,420 You got here, didn't you? 297 00:12:35,440 --> 00:12:37,976 I tried to get a taxi and then this crack turns up with this thing. 298 00:12:38,000 --> 00:12:40,100 You know what it's like when you want one and you never find one. 299 00:12:40,101 --> 00:12:41,040 I think she's having a pop of me. 300 00:12:41,100 --> 00:12:42,580 Is that oil all over your jackals? 301 00:12:42,620 --> 00:12:42,840 Where? 302 00:12:42,940 --> 00:12:44,060 Don't worry about it now. 303 00:12:44,180 --> 00:12:45,380 I'll see you later, all right? 304 00:12:45,530 --> 00:12:47,090 What do you mean she's getting married? 305 00:12:47,160 --> 00:12:49,140 Well, that's what she told me the other day. 306 00:12:50,000 --> 00:12:51,080 Such a nice young lady. 307 00:12:51,620 --> 00:12:53,960 I'd have liked to get to know her better, but I don't suppose she... 308 00:12:53,961 --> 00:12:55,280 She's getting married today? 309 00:12:55,700 --> 00:12:56,320 Yes. 310 00:12:56,720 --> 00:12:57,380 She told you where? 311 00:12:57,560 --> 00:12:58,560 What time? 312 00:12:58,930 --> 00:13:01,080 Yes, Chiswick Registry Office, she said. 313 00:13:01,460 --> 00:13:03,260 I thought I might go down there later. 314 00:13:05,060 --> 00:13:05,840 Hello, Peter. 315 00:13:05,980 --> 00:13:06,660 How's it coming along? 316 00:13:06,900 --> 00:13:07,900 Slow, but sure. 317 00:13:08,420 --> 00:13:09,500 It's starting to look nice. 318 00:13:09,580 --> 00:13:10,580 Thank you. 319 00:13:10,760 --> 00:13:11,760 Clive was here earlier. 320 00:13:13,040 --> 00:13:14,040 Was he? 321 00:13:14,160 --> 00:13:15,920 All dressed up, like he was off to a wedding. 322 00:13:17,080 --> 00:13:18,080 A wedding? 323 00:13:18,125 --> 00:13:21,125 Well, he's wearing a carnation, so was the chap that arrived to pick him up. 324 00:13:21,200 --> 00:13:23,360 Can't think of any other function which calls for that. 325 00:13:24,170 --> 00:13:25,250 Did he say anything to you? 326 00:13:25,420 --> 00:13:26,420 Not a syllable. 327 00:13:26,830 --> 00:13:28,820 But I did hear the other bloke call himself Terry. 328 00:13:30,380 --> 00:13:31,380 Terry? 329 00:13:36,670 --> 00:13:37,766 There you go, that's lovely. 330 00:13:37,790 --> 00:13:39,030 I just had the bride and groom. 331 00:13:41,450 --> 00:13:44,210 Congratulations, my dear. 332 00:13:45,130 --> 00:13:45,530 Hey! 333 00:13:45,950 --> 00:13:47,850 My God, it's my ex-husband. 334 00:13:48,210 --> 00:13:50,330 You bastard, you stole my woman! 335 00:13:50,450 --> 00:13:51,450 What are you doing? 336 00:14:00,110 --> 00:14:01,170 Are you all right? 337 00:14:01,330 --> 00:14:02,410 Now, come on, on your bike. 338 00:14:02,610 --> 00:14:03,610 Terry! 339 00:14:08,250 --> 00:14:09,870 I'll kill you, you bastard! 340 00:14:11,530 --> 00:14:12,530 Terry! 341 00:14:16,190 --> 00:14:17,190 No! 342 00:14:37,750 --> 00:14:38,750 Clive? 343 00:14:42,200 --> 00:14:43,200 Morning, love. 344 00:14:43,400 --> 00:14:44,400 What are you doing? 345 00:14:45,040 --> 00:14:47,740 Well, I've got to go out, haven't I? 346 00:14:49,060 --> 00:14:49,380 Out? 347 00:14:49,600 --> 00:14:50,320 Out where? 348 00:14:50,620 --> 00:14:51,620 I'm a business lover. 349 00:14:52,340 --> 00:14:54,460 Yeah, I've got a lot of business to get through today. 350 00:14:54,820 --> 00:14:56,540 I've got to go up to Northampton, haven't I? 351 00:14:56,860 --> 00:14:57,860 Northampton? 352 00:14:58,080 --> 00:15:00,600 Yeah, I told you about my business interests up there, didn't I? 353 00:15:00,640 --> 00:15:03,401 Yeah, you did, but... You know, it can't be helped, love. 354 00:15:04,630 --> 00:15:06,070 I've got to get a living, haven't I? 355 00:15:06,430 --> 00:15:07,776 I'm going to keep you in any sort of style. 356 00:15:07,800 --> 00:15:09,700 But this is the first morning of our marriage. 357 00:15:10,080 --> 00:15:11,080 I know, darling. 358 00:15:11,200 --> 00:15:12,200 I know. 359 00:15:14,160 --> 00:15:15,816 But I promise it won't take more than a few days. 360 00:15:15,840 --> 00:15:17,020 A few days? 361 00:15:17,600 --> 00:15:18,600 Yeah. 362 00:15:19,840 --> 00:15:20,840 Hey. 363 00:15:22,260 --> 00:15:23,260 Hey. 364 00:15:24,650 --> 00:15:26,640 What about you last night, then, 365 00:15:30,240 --> 00:15:31,680 Who is the naughty one, then? 366 00:15:31,820 --> 00:15:32,820 You were. 367 00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:36,000 Listen. 368 00:15:36,980 --> 00:15:40,680 I promise, as soon as I get back, we'll go out somewhere nice. 369 00:15:41,350 --> 00:15:42,430 To dinner or something? 370 00:15:42,740 --> 00:15:43,740 Love. 371 00:15:43,920 --> 00:15:45,060 Look, Angie. 372 00:15:45,900 --> 00:15:47,636 You've got lots to keep you busy, haven't you? 373 00:15:47,660 --> 00:15:49,340 What with sorting the flat and everything. 374 00:15:50,320 --> 00:15:52,380 And there's some stock arriving for the shop. 375 00:15:52,580 --> 00:15:52,820 Yeah? 376 00:15:53,320 --> 00:15:54,920 Yeah, I've got Arthur sorting it for me. 377 00:15:56,660 --> 00:15:59,420 I expect he'll get Terry to bring it over. 378 00:16:02,510 --> 00:16:03,550 Hey, you watch out, Terry. 379 00:16:08,180 --> 00:16:11,100 And don't you worry about that lunatic ex-old man of yours. 380 00:16:12,010 --> 00:16:14,090 He'll be in hospital for weeks with that broken foot. 381 00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:17,320 And there's no way he can find out where we're living, is there? 382 00:16:18,000 --> 00:16:19,340 I love you madly. 383 00:16:31,840 --> 00:16:32,840 This'll do. 384 00:16:33,220 --> 00:16:34,420 How do you know I don't belong to someone? 385 00:16:34,421 --> 00:16:36,300 Terry, use your minces. 386 00:16:36,720 --> 00:16:38,840 Flat tyre, no tax and full of crap. 387 00:16:40,310 --> 00:16:41,710 Yeah, well, what about the sticker? 388 00:16:42,820 --> 00:16:43,820 What sticker? 389 00:16:44,500 --> 00:16:48,140 You said on every local council there's one little geezer whose sole job it is to 390 00:16:48,141 --> 00:16:50,941 snap around looking for cars that look like they've been dumped, right? 391 00:16:51,155 --> 00:16:52,797 And he puts a sticker on the windscreen that says 392 00:16:52,821 --> 00:16:54,900 if you don't move this heap, it'll be towed away. 393 00:16:55,100 --> 00:16:58,020 You said they're the ones to look out for, so where's the sticker on this? 394 00:16:58,500 --> 00:17:00,480 Terry, there's only one geezer. 395 00:17:00,860 --> 00:17:01,260 So? 396 00:17:01,660 --> 00:17:04,980 Well, you any idea how many streets there are on any one manor? 397 00:17:05,580 --> 00:17:06,820 I mean, it's obvious, isn't it? 398 00:17:06,940 --> 00:17:08,496 He hasn't had a chance to spot this one yet. 399 00:17:08,520 --> 00:17:09,520 Now get it hooked up. 400 00:17:09,700 --> 00:17:10,900 Hold up, hold up, hold up. 401 00:17:11,390 --> 00:17:13,230 What about all this knocking on doors and that? 402 00:17:13,700 --> 00:17:14,500 All right, all right. 403 00:17:14,680 --> 00:17:16,096 If it's going to make you feel happier. 404 00:17:16,120 --> 00:17:17,439 But once I've proved my point, I ain't going to 405 00:17:17,440 --> 00:17:19,321 waste time knocking on doors all day, all right? 406 00:17:20,250 --> 00:17:22,970 I'll let you know as soon as he wants to get shed of a few more cars. 407 00:17:23,060 --> 00:17:23,260 Lovely. 408 00:17:23,685 --> 00:17:24,965 I'll drop it round Thursday, OK? 409 00:17:25,140 --> 00:17:27,336 Yeah, if I'm not here, don't leave it on the front, will you? 410 00:17:27,360 --> 00:17:29,320 I'll state it here and it'll be bad for the image. 411 00:17:29,360 --> 00:17:30,360 Yeah, I can see. 412 00:17:30,585 --> 00:17:32,639 I'll tell you what, look, pop it down the 413 00:17:32,640 --> 00:17:34,600 road here and stuff the keys up the exhaust. 414 00:17:35,030 --> 00:17:38,020 I'll sort it out later when I can get my man to pick it up and tidy it up. 415 00:17:38,280 --> 00:17:39,280 Right, see you then. 416 00:17:39,380 --> 00:17:40,380 Yeah, ta. 417 00:17:41,760 --> 00:17:42,760 Father! 418 00:17:43,600 --> 00:17:44,600 What can I say? 419 00:17:45,820 --> 00:17:49,157 Well, how about here's the money I owe you and a tour on top 420 00:17:49,158 --> 00:17:51,741 for the whistle that got ruined in yesterday's frack house. 421 00:17:52,560 --> 00:17:53,860 Be glad to see the back of it. 422 00:17:54,140 --> 00:17:55,660 It's been sitting out there for weeks. 423 00:17:56,240 --> 00:17:57,320 Disgusting, I call it. 424 00:18:01,720 --> 00:18:02,720 See? 425 00:18:04,255 --> 00:18:05,735 Arthur, don't keep going on about it. 426 00:18:05,760 --> 00:18:07,120 Try and look on the positive side. 427 00:18:07,240 --> 00:18:08,836 We had a good drink up afterwards, didn't we? 428 00:18:08,860 --> 00:18:09,620 I don't know. 429 00:18:09,720 --> 00:18:10,840 I was drunk with shock. 430 00:18:11,360 --> 00:18:12,360 Terrific! 431 00:18:12,540 --> 00:18:14,340 Now, what about those items for my new shop? 432 00:18:21,040 --> 00:18:22,040 Good pay, innit? 433 00:18:46,200 --> 00:18:47,300 Yes, wonderful. 434 00:18:48,760 --> 00:18:51,780 Well, it's better than being hard-pressed for a few quid, though, isn't it? 435 00:19:01,430 --> 00:19:02,510 That is a cheque. 436 00:19:03,320 --> 00:19:05,280 Yeah, yeah, I can see that's a cheque, Arthur. 437 00:19:05,760 --> 00:19:07,560 Well, that's the one I gave Angie to give you. 438 00:19:07,690 --> 00:19:08,310 That's all right, innit? 439 00:19:08,690 --> 00:19:11,276 How many times do I have to tell you I do not accept cheques, 440 00:19:11,277 --> 00:19:13,451 especially ones that have a rubber quality about them? 441 00:19:13,980 --> 00:19:15,861 And where have you been for the last couple of days? 442 00:19:15,885 --> 00:19:17,805 Here and there, ducking and diving, you know. 443 00:19:18,740 --> 00:19:19,740 You seen the local red? 444 00:19:20,150 --> 00:19:21,510 No, no, I don't read newspapers. 445 00:19:21,550 --> 00:19:22,410 It's always bad news, innit? 446 00:19:22,460 --> 00:19:23,460 You can say that again. 447 00:19:23,650 --> 00:19:24,650 Dave, show it to him. 448 00:19:26,225 --> 00:19:28,090 Yes, it's a very good likeness. 449 00:19:32,770 --> 00:19:33,770 Dear, dear. 450 00:19:33,870 --> 00:19:34,630 Dear, dear. 451 00:19:34,850 --> 00:19:37,666 Have you any idea of the stick I've had to take from people who know me? 452 00:19:37,690 --> 00:19:39,570 Not to mention the aggravation from her indoors. 453 00:19:40,050 --> 00:19:41,750 Neighbours blanking her and God knows what. 454 00:19:42,560 --> 00:19:44,830 And the laugh we all had down at the station, Arthur. 455 00:19:45,330 --> 00:19:46,330 Mr Chisholm. 456 00:19:46,630 --> 00:19:47,630 Ha, ha, ha, ha. 457 00:19:47,850 --> 00:19:50,810 Yes, I suppose it has got a sort of black humour about it. 458 00:19:51,820 --> 00:19:53,500 Do I offer you and your colleague a drink? 459 00:19:53,750 --> 00:19:54,830 I don't think so, Arthur. 460 00:19:55,510 --> 00:19:58,650 If I accept, you might misconstrue it as an overture of friendship. 461 00:19:59,050 --> 00:20:01,770 That would only spoil your relationship, wouldn't it, Gov? 462 00:20:01,970 --> 00:20:02,770 That is what I like. 463 00:20:02,850 --> 00:20:04,730 An officer of the law with a sense of humour. 464 00:20:05,050 --> 00:20:06,050 Ho, ho, ho. 465 00:20:06,490 --> 00:20:10,310 Any particular reason you're honouring my club with your presence, Mr Chisholm? 466 00:20:10,620 --> 00:20:13,713 Just making the rounds of low-life establishments, 467 00:20:13,714 --> 00:20:15,890 observing who is mingling with whom. 468 00:20:16,150 --> 00:20:17,150 And possibly why? 469 00:20:17,660 --> 00:20:20,339 A pint of bitter for Mr Jones and a bottle of light ale 470 00:20:20,340 --> 00:20:22,930 down the other end of the bar, if you wouldn't mind, please. 471 00:20:23,390 --> 00:20:24,390 Yes, sir. 472 00:20:26,910 --> 00:20:27,310 Arnie! 473 00:20:27,840 --> 00:20:29,626 There's a gentleman here who wants a word with you. 474 00:20:29,650 --> 00:20:30,650 What? 475 00:20:30,870 --> 00:20:31,870 Who? 476 00:20:32,350 --> 00:20:33,350 What's your game, then? 477 00:20:34,690 --> 00:20:35,690 Sorry, mate? 478 00:20:36,040 --> 00:20:37,710 I said, what's your bloody game? 479 00:20:38,845 --> 00:20:42,165 Well, as you can see, this vehicle has been designated by the council to be removed. 480 00:20:42,490 --> 00:20:42,930 Yeah? 481 00:20:43,490 --> 00:20:44,490 And who's authority? 482 00:20:48,130 --> 00:20:49,130 It's your motor, sir. 483 00:20:49,530 --> 00:20:50,570 Yes, it bloody is. 484 00:20:51,890 --> 00:20:53,410 See, I told you, didn't I? 485 00:20:53,740 --> 00:20:55,820 I told you this motor was too good to be tagged away. 486 00:20:55,910 --> 00:20:57,106 Right, let me take this out, mate. 487 00:20:57,130 --> 00:20:58,130 I mean, what can I say? 488 00:20:58,495 --> 00:21:00,530 I'm just a contractor trying to get a living. 489 00:21:01,070 --> 00:21:02,830 I mean, if it was left up to me, I'd... 490 00:21:06,260 --> 00:21:07,260 You were saying? 491 00:21:10,660 --> 00:21:11,660 Arnie? 492 00:21:11,745 --> 00:21:13,680 Yeah, there's a stall in Church Street Market. 493 00:21:14,315 --> 00:21:15,435 Tell Terry to ask for Laura. 494 00:21:15,560 --> 00:21:16,560 Laura, right. 495 00:21:16,600 --> 00:21:17,800 Yeah, she runs a stall for me. 496 00:21:17,880 --> 00:21:19,320 Yeah, lovely little girl she is. 497 00:21:19,540 --> 00:21:19,980 Big eyes. 498 00:21:20,000 --> 00:21:21,840 Live Cosgrove, you bastard! 499 00:21:22,160 --> 00:21:22,320 What? 500 00:21:22,780 --> 00:21:24,040 Mary, darling! 501 00:21:24,140 --> 00:21:25,500 Don't darling me! 502 00:21:26,460 --> 00:21:26,980 Mary! 503 00:21:27,280 --> 00:21:30,901 For God's sake, Mary, let me... I'll kill you! 504 00:21:31,200 --> 00:21:33,200 Mary, I haven't explained at all. 505 00:21:33,280 --> 00:21:33,780 I'll kill you! 506 00:21:34,080 --> 00:21:34,700 I don't remember. 507 00:21:35,020 --> 00:21:36,120 I'll kill you! 508 00:21:36,420 --> 00:21:37,420 Why? 509 00:21:37,700 --> 00:21:38,820 I'll kill that pig-face! 510 00:21:39,120 --> 00:21:39,640 Bastard! 511 00:21:39,840 --> 00:21:40,600 Calm down. 512 00:21:40,800 --> 00:21:41,440 Calm down. 513 00:21:41,700 --> 00:21:42,520 I'll kill you! 514 00:21:42,700 --> 00:21:43,380 I wouldn't advise that. 515 00:21:43,381 --> 00:21:44,080 I'll kill you! 516 00:21:44,380 --> 00:21:45,140 We're police officers. 517 00:21:45,240 --> 00:21:45,820 Police officers. 518 00:21:45,821 --> 00:21:46,160 That's correct. 519 00:21:46,660 --> 00:21:48,580 Then that's the swine you want to arrest? 520 00:21:48,600 --> 00:21:51,780 Unless you stop it, I'm going to have to restrain you with handcuffs. 521 00:21:51,800 --> 00:21:52,800 Bring them all together. 522 00:21:53,940 --> 00:21:54,976 Let's sit for doubles, shall we? 523 00:21:55,000 --> 00:21:56,000 All right, yes. 524 00:21:58,170 --> 00:22:01,860 Now, madam, pull yourself together and let us know what all this is about. 525 00:22:03,880 --> 00:22:05,580 He's been married nine years! 526 00:22:06,160 --> 00:22:07,300 Nine years! 527 00:22:07,660 --> 00:22:08,660 How could he do that? 528 00:22:09,105 --> 00:22:12,240 How could he get married to somebody else when he's already married to me? 529 00:22:12,520 --> 00:22:13,040 You often. 530 00:22:13,300 --> 00:22:14,300 How could he? 531 00:22:14,550 --> 00:22:16,340 You stay where you are, Damey. 532 00:22:17,520 --> 00:22:20,900 On my accountant's eyesight, Mr Chisholm, I know nothing about this affair. 533 00:22:21,160 --> 00:22:22,160 Nothing. 534 00:22:22,540 --> 00:22:23,020 Oi! 535 00:22:23,400 --> 00:22:24,400 Oi! 536 00:22:30,120 --> 00:22:31,800 Well, that just about tops the lot. 537 00:22:32,480 --> 00:22:33,940 I do your mate a favour. 538 00:22:34,380 --> 00:22:35,921 Suddenly, I'm dragged into the nick to make a 539 00:22:35,922 --> 00:22:38,101 statement without the chance of being well figured up. 540 00:22:38,440 --> 00:22:40,060 For being an accessory to bigger me. 541 00:22:40,540 --> 00:22:41,760 Do stop going on. 542 00:22:42,200 --> 00:22:44,082 Chisholm's just putting the frighteners on in the hope 543 00:22:44,083 --> 00:22:46,221 that we will divulge where it can claim confident. 544 00:22:46,540 --> 00:22:48,200 Well, I'd bleeding like to claim him. 545 00:22:48,560 --> 00:22:49,680 I don't need all this hag. 546 00:22:50,020 --> 00:22:50,460 Yeah, Arthur. 547 00:22:50,780 --> 00:22:52,676 Why don't you tell Chisholm where he can be found? 548 00:22:52,700 --> 00:22:54,820 Because for one thing, Arnold, I am not a grass. 549 00:22:55,540 --> 00:22:57,581 And for another, I'm doing a lot of business with a man. 550 00:22:57,605 --> 00:23:00,211 If he's roasting in the nick, how am I going to cop the dough he owes me? 551 00:23:00,235 --> 00:23:01,560 Very compassionate man, Arthur. 552 00:23:01,760 --> 00:23:03,120 I do not understand this attitude. 553 00:23:03,240 --> 00:23:04,256 I mean, a man is a friend. 554 00:23:04,280 --> 00:23:05,000 We went to his wedding. 555 00:23:05,280 --> 00:23:05,760 His what? 556 00:23:06,180 --> 00:23:08,240 Look, how do we know there is any truth in 557 00:23:08,241 --> 00:23:10,380 the allegations of that poor, demented woman? 558 00:23:10,780 --> 00:23:14,120 I mean, how do we know she's not suffering from some sort of paranoid schizophrenia? 559 00:23:14,640 --> 00:23:15,480 I mean, let's have it right. 560 00:23:15,481 --> 00:23:18,208 The man's got to be a lunatic to get webbed up in a marriage 561 00:23:18,209 --> 00:23:20,401 a second time when he's already done it once, hasn't he? 562 00:23:20,425 --> 00:23:21,705 Well, it has been known, Arthur. 563 00:23:21,740 --> 00:23:24,420 No, I'm sure there's a perfectly logical explanation for everything. 564 00:23:24,940 --> 00:23:25,940 No, that's right. 565 00:23:26,180 --> 00:23:27,180 He's a bigamist. 566 00:23:30,675 --> 00:23:31,880 I couldn't believe it when I saw it. 567 00:23:31,900 --> 00:23:33,020 I mean, it is him, isn't it? 568 00:23:33,580 --> 00:23:34,580 Yes, it's him, all right. 569 00:23:35,245 --> 00:23:37,506 I'm sorry, Laura, perhaps I shouldn't... No, don't apologise, Peter. 570 00:23:37,530 --> 00:23:40,316 If you hadn't shown it to me, someone else almost certainly would have. 571 00:23:40,340 --> 00:23:42,616 I mean, how can he possibly think he can get away with it? 572 00:23:42,640 --> 00:23:43,640 I've no idea. 573 00:23:44,180 --> 00:23:46,700 No one could accuse Clive of not being an optimist. 574 00:23:46,800 --> 00:23:47,760 You must be feeling dreadful. 575 00:23:47,800 --> 00:23:48,880 Is there anything I can do? 576 00:23:49,480 --> 00:23:50,480 No, thanks, Peter. 577 00:23:50,800 --> 00:23:52,040 But I'll handle it. 578 00:23:55,430 --> 00:23:56,600 You've got to go away again? 579 00:23:56,780 --> 00:23:58,336 Well, it's a bit of a business crisis, darling. 580 00:23:58,360 --> 00:23:59,360 It can't be helped. 581 00:23:59,990 --> 00:24:00,760 But don't worry about it. 582 00:24:00,761 --> 00:24:01,961 It's nothing I can't sort out. 583 00:24:02,060 --> 00:24:03,560 But I haven't seen you for days. 584 00:24:03,620 --> 00:24:04,836 You've just walked through the door. 585 00:24:04,860 --> 00:24:05,860 Angie! 586 00:24:07,355 --> 00:24:10,060 We've got a whole lifetime ahead of us to be together, haven't we? 587 00:24:10,490 --> 00:24:13,420 Well, yes, but... But trust me? 588 00:24:14,940 --> 00:24:15,620 Trust me. 589 00:24:15,780 --> 00:24:16,780 Of course I will. 590 00:24:31,890 --> 00:24:33,250 I love you madly. 591 00:24:33,630 --> 00:24:34,630 Don't. 592 00:24:36,560 --> 00:24:37,560 I'll see you soon. 593 00:24:39,135 --> 00:24:41,830 I told you, he phoned me and explained it all. 594 00:24:42,290 --> 00:24:44,530 He's been living case with a bird for a short while. 595 00:24:44,650 --> 00:24:46,550 She's what they call a common-law wife. 596 00:24:47,050 --> 00:24:48,990 I knew there'd be a logical explanation for it. 597 00:24:53,920 --> 00:24:55,180 Armie's busy today, isn't he? 598 00:24:55,460 --> 00:24:56,460 Yeah, so? 599 00:24:56,500 --> 00:24:58,916 Well, you'll be able to make some deliveries for me, won't you? 600 00:24:58,940 --> 00:24:59,940 Delivering what? 601 00:25:00,440 --> 00:25:01,480 Well, stuff for Confident. 602 00:25:02,360 --> 00:25:04,443 I mean, them dresses for his store, and them 603 00:25:04,444 --> 00:25:07,221 fibre tips and ballpoint pens for his new shop. 604 00:25:07,740 --> 00:25:08,956 Is that the one he's got with Angie? 605 00:25:08,980 --> 00:25:09,200 Yeah. 606 00:25:09,340 --> 00:25:11,780 He's going to start knocking out stationary and all that gear. 607 00:25:11,980 --> 00:25:12,980 No. 608 00:25:13,020 --> 00:25:14,020 We're not going there. 609 00:25:14,240 --> 00:25:15,240 Why not? 610 00:25:15,360 --> 00:25:16,720 Well, after yesterday's turnout. 611 00:25:17,180 --> 00:25:18,996 I mean, she'll be in all right, two and eight, won't she? 612 00:25:19,020 --> 00:25:19,660 No, she won't. 613 00:25:19,720 --> 00:25:20,720 She don't know. 614 00:25:21,940 --> 00:25:22,956 Do you mean he hasn't told her? 615 00:25:22,980 --> 00:25:23,980 No. 616 00:25:24,290 --> 00:25:25,290 My God. 617 00:25:25,820 --> 00:25:27,588 And neither the flat nor the shop's on the manor, so 618 00:25:27,589 --> 00:25:29,909 there's no chance of her seeing a picture in the local rag. 619 00:25:30,690 --> 00:25:32,170 And don't you go mentioning anything. 620 00:25:32,260 --> 00:25:33,080 This is their problem. 621 00:25:33,200 --> 00:25:34,200 Let them work it out. 622 00:25:35,260 --> 00:25:37,200 All that microwave oven's got to go to the cafe. 623 00:25:38,530 --> 00:25:39,580 You can forget the cafe. 624 00:25:40,180 --> 00:25:41,180 Why? 625 00:25:41,950 --> 00:25:45,440 Well, after the way that bird worked out in the Winchester, I was the best man, 626 00:25:45,560 --> 00:25:45,860 remember? 627 00:25:46,570 --> 00:25:47,600 She'd probably attack me. 628 00:25:48,830 --> 00:25:50,710 The last thing I want's to stand up with a tart. 629 00:25:51,120 --> 00:25:52,260 You may have a point there. 630 00:25:52,980 --> 00:25:54,300 Old Clive can pick it up himself. 631 00:25:54,440 --> 00:25:55,440 Yeah. 632 00:25:56,840 --> 00:25:57,840 Did he say where he was? 633 00:25:58,560 --> 00:25:59,560 Does he ever. 634 00:26:00,615 --> 00:26:01,660 But you were his best man. 635 00:26:01,780 --> 00:26:03,380 Surely he must confide something to you. 636 00:26:03,480 --> 00:26:05,040 No, he doesn't hardly say anything to me. 637 00:26:05,060 --> 00:26:06,136 I don't see him that often. 638 00:26:06,160 --> 00:26:08,976 Well, I've only seen him for a few minutes since the morning of our wedding. 639 00:26:09,000 --> 00:26:10,000 Yeah, I know. 640 00:26:10,580 --> 00:26:11,776 Listen, I'm sorry, I've got to shoot. 641 00:26:11,800 --> 00:26:13,400 Look, is there anywhere I can phone him? 642 00:26:14,690 --> 00:26:15,460 I'll tell you what I'll do. 643 00:26:15,461 --> 00:26:18,101 The next time I see him, I'll tell him definitely to phone you, OK? 644 00:26:20,130 --> 00:26:21,490 I'm sorry, it's the best I can do. 645 00:26:22,640 --> 00:26:23,640 I'll see you. 646 00:26:25,120 --> 00:26:26,400 Now, she'll love that, your mum. 647 00:26:26,480 --> 00:26:28,036 Doesn't crease, don't worry about this. 648 00:26:28,060 --> 00:26:29,400 You pay double in Oxford Street. 649 00:26:29,520 --> 00:26:29,840 Thanks, love. 650 00:26:30,420 --> 00:26:32,580 Oi, Bill, do us a favour, keep an eye on the stall. 651 00:26:32,660 --> 00:26:34,300 I just want a quick word with my brother. 652 00:26:36,060 --> 00:26:37,500 I can see, I can see. 653 00:26:37,680 --> 00:26:39,180 Must be a take on you today, mate. 654 00:26:39,440 --> 00:26:41,320 I can see, I've got mince pies, all right. 655 00:26:41,580 --> 00:26:43,400 Adding your finger, how can this be? 656 00:26:44,920 --> 00:26:45,500 Hello, sis. 657 00:26:45,860 --> 00:26:47,400 You all right? 658 00:26:49,000 --> 00:26:50,000 No, not really, Ernie. 659 00:26:50,240 --> 00:26:51,700 So, what's the problem? 660 00:26:52,420 --> 00:26:53,960 That climbs the problem. 661 00:27:15,880 --> 00:27:18,020 Mr Chisholm. 662 00:27:19,100 --> 00:27:20,100 Part of you today? 663 00:27:20,720 --> 00:27:21,720 As you ask. 664 00:27:22,300 --> 00:27:27,400 Overworked, underpaid, cold, suffering from a great deal of irritation. 665 00:27:27,780 --> 00:27:29,120 Not a bad rash, I hope. 666 00:27:29,620 --> 00:27:31,300 No, no, no, nothing personal. 667 00:27:31,610 --> 00:27:33,680 Just a soupçon of light banter to brighten the day. 668 00:27:34,620 --> 00:27:35,620 Nothing personal. 669 00:27:36,140 --> 00:27:37,140 Look, can I help you? 670 00:27:37,910 --> 00:27:39,880 You might try moving to Outer Mongolia. 671 00:27:40,680 --> 00:27:45,900 Before you go, I suggest you tell me where I can locate your bigamous buddy, 672 00:27:46,060 --> 00:27:47,060 Clive Cosgrove. 673 00:27:47,300 --> 00:27:50,880 Now, you ask me that when I volunteered to make a statement of my own free will. 674 00:27:51,305 --> 00:27:53,400 And I did not know then, and I do not know now. 675 00:27:53,925 --> 00:27:54,925 I don't believe you. 676 00:27:55,360 --> 00:27:56,360 I'll never believe you. 677 00:27:56,680 --> 00:27:58,026 That is your prerogative, Mr Chisholm. 678 00:27:58,050 --> 00:27:59,050 That is your prerogative. 679 00:27:59,610 --> 00:28:03,160 But I can tell you that he phoned and explained everything to me. 680 00:28:03,680 --> 00:28:06,242 That poor, deranged lady who attacked him was 681 00:28:06,243 --> 00:28:08,660 his common-law wife, not his legal spouse. 682 00:28:08,880 --> 00:28:09,880 Wrong. 683 00:28:10,500 --> 00:28:11,500 Wrong? 684 00:28:11,530 --> 00:28:14,260 We've checked, seen the marriage certificate. 685 00:28:14,920 --> 00:28:16,180 He married her all right. 686 00:28:16,400 --> 00:28:18,020 And they've not been divorced. 687 00:28:18,400 --> 00:28:19,520 No, no, that can't be right. 688 00:28:19,640 --> 00:28:22,679 Not only that, this morning I got an unexpected 689 00:28:22,680 --> 00:28:25,401 phone call from a lady in Northampton. 690 00:28:26,360 --> 00:28:27,360 Another one. 691 00:28:28,580 --> 00:28:29,620 Mrs Cosgrove. 692 00:28:30,220 --> 00:28:31,280 My good God. 693 00:28:59,730 --> 00:29:00,730 Laura? 694 00:29:03,450 --> 00:29:04,730 That's right, yeah, who are you? 695 00:29:04,810 --> 00:29:05,370 Terry McCann. 696 00:29:05,690 --> 00:29:06,770 I've got some gear for you. 697 00:29:06,870 --> 00:29:07,870 From Clive. 698 00:29:08,350 --> 00:29:09,150 Right. 699 00:29:09,350 --> 00:29:09,670 Where? 700 00:29:09,671 --> 00:29:10,690 Well, it's in the car. 701 00:29:10,770 --> 00:29:11,810 I couldn't get any nearer. 702 00:29:12,390 --> 00:29:13,630 Can you manage to get it round? 703 00:29:13,690 --> 00:29:14,330 Yeah, of course I can, yeah. 704 00:29:14,370 --> 00:29:14,550 Now? 705 00:29:14,870 --> 00:29:15,870 Terry, you say? 706 00:29:16,030 --> 00:29:17,030 Yeah, Terry McCann. 707 00:29:17,370 --> 00:29:17,950 Right, Terry. 708 00:29:18,030 --> 00:29:19,190 Yes, if you would then. 709 00:29:19,330 --> 00:29:20,370 Be right back in a minute. 710 00:29:22,730 --> 00:29:24,450 Paul, look after this lady for me, will you? 711 00:29:26,910 --> 00:29:27,910 Three? 712 00:29:28,225 --> 00:29:29,225 You did say three? 713 00:29:29,310 --> 00:29:29,510 Yeah. 714 00:29:29,810 --> 00:29:31,130 And he's got kids by talking. 715 00:29:31,530 --> 00:29:32,530 You're joking. 716 00:29:32,750 --> 00:29:33,390 That's unbelievable. 717 00:29:33,690 --> 00:29:36,690 I mean, I know he's a bit eccentric, but perhaps it's his religion. 718 00:29:36,940 --> 00:29:40,050 You know, maybe he's a poly... poly... what's it? 719 00:29:40,170 --> 00:29:41,090 A polygamist. 720 00:29:41,150 --> 00:29:42,830 Yeah, yeah, one of the Salt Lake City mob. 721 00:29:43,190 --> 00:29:44,890 Yeah, I think that's a Mormon. 722 00:29:47,770 --> 00:29:48,770 Excuse me. 723 00:29:49,390 --> 00:29:50,150 Same again, Bert. 724 00:29:50,270 --> 00:29:50,650 Please. 725 00:29:51,250 --> 00:29:52,490 Get out, would you, Arthur? 726 00:29:55,555 --> 00:29:56,930 Winchester Club, can I help you? 727 00:29:59,675 --> 00:30:00,910 Yeah, yes, dear. 728 00:30:01,745 --> 00:30:03,390 It's me, your nearest and dearest. 729 00:30:04,770 --> 00:30:06,790 Yes, I was just about to phone you. 730 00:30:08,610 --> 00:30:09,610 Is what? 731 00:30:11,830 --> 00:30:13,510 I... I... I didn't, dear. 732 00:30:14,420 --> 00:30:15,450 I... I... I didn't. 733 00:30:15,990 --> 00:30:16,990 Excuse me. 734 00:30:20,980 --> 00:30:21,980 There you go. 735 00:30:22,320 --> 00:30:23,320 Lovely. 736 00:30:23,580 --> 00:30:24,740 Clive all right, then, is he? 737 00:30:25,000 --> 00:30:26,000 Yeah, as far as I know. 738 00:30:26,080 --> 00:30:27,080 Don't see him that much. 739 00:30:27,320 --> 00:30:28,760 I thought you must work for him. 740 00:30:29,320 --> 00:30:32,036 No, I sort of work for another geezer who Clive gets a lot of his gear from. 741 00:30:32,060 --> 00:30:34,400 That'd be Arthur Daly, would it? 742 00:30:34,740 --> 00:30:35,200 That's right. 743 00:30:35,280 --> 00:30:35,560 Do you know him? 744 00:30:36,180 --> 00:30:37,540 No, no, but Clive's mentioned him. 745 00:30:37,620 --> 00:30:39,240 I understand they're old friends. 746 00:30:39,660 --> 00:30:42,076 Well, they're more like drinking and business partners, you know. 747 00:30:42,100 --> 00:30:43,460 Where do they usually drink, then? 748 00:30:43,850 --> 00:30:46,090 Well, it ain't the Fountain of Youth, that's for certain. 749 00:30:47,070 --> 00:30:48,200 Right, that should do it. 750 00:30:48,940 --> 00:30:49,940 Clive paid you, is he? 751 00:30:50,000 --> 00:30:50,500 No, it's all right. 752 00:30:50,501 --> 00:30:51,320 He sort that out with Arthur. 753 00:30:51,480 --> 00:30:52,060 Right. 754 00:30:52,180 --> 00:30:53,620 Well, thanks for bringing him down. 755 00:30:53,680 --> 00:30:54,020 That's all right. 756 00:30:54,240 --> 00:30:54,640 See you round. 757 00:30:55,080 --> 00:30:55,360 Bye. 758 00:30:55,640 --> 00:30:56,640 See you round. 759 00:31:02,710 --> 00:31:05,070 If you'd just give me a chance to explain, Arthur. 760 00:31:05,110 --> 00:31:06,210 What is there to explain? 761 00:31:06,470 --> 00:31:07,690 You belong in a rubber room. 762 00:31:08,165 --> 00:31:11,130 Going to my home like that, that was well out of order, confident. 763 00:31:11,210 --> 00:31:12,466 Well, I had to go somewhere, didn't I? 764 00:31:12,490 --> 00:31:13,746 Now, the whole bill's on my daily. 765 00:31:13,770 --> 00:31:16,446 Yeah, they'd be on Daly's daily, wouldn't they, if they'd found you there? 766 00:31:16,470 --> 00:31:17,910 Have you no thought for my security? 767 00:31:18,110 --> 00:31:22,730 Arthur, under the circumstances, I could hardly go to one of my gaffs, could I? 768 00:31:24,300 --> 00:31:25,850 My wives don't understand me. 769 00:31:28,710 --> 00:31:29,710 Well, don't you think so? 770 00:31:31,250 --> 00:31:35,031 Do you mean he's yours and... Clive's, yes. 771 00:31:35,710 --> 00:31:37,470 Well, don't you think he takes after his dad? 772 00:31:38,320 --> 00:31:40,390 Yeah, yeah, I suppose he does, really, yeah. 773 00:31:40,470 --> 00:31:42,910 He was born a year to the day after Clive and me were married. 774 00:31:43,110 --> 00:31:43,470 Married? 775 00:31:43,770 --> 00:31:45,290 Do you mean you and Clive are married? 776 00:31:45,490 --> 00:31:46,690 Of course we're married. 777 00:31:47,290 --> 00:31:48,290 Didn't Clive tell you? 778 00:31:49,310 --> 00:31:49,930 No, he didn't. 779 00:31:49,990 --> 00:31:50,990 No, he, er... 780 00:31:51,670 --> 00:31:54,110 Well, we don't talk about things like that, really, very much. 781 00:31:54,855 --> 00:31:56,730 You don't think he's a bastard, do you? 782 00:31:58,530 --> 00:32:00,890 No, no, I don't think he is at all. 783 00:32:01,990 --> 00:32:04,290 I just need somewhere for a couple of days, Arthur. 784 00:32:04,291 --> 00:32:05,710 Well, Angie don't know the SP. 785 00:32:05,870 --> 00:32:06,630 Why can't you go there? 786 00:32:06,690 --> 00:32:08,486 That was the address we stuck down at the registry office. 787 00:32:08,510 --> 00:32:09,210 Old ploddle had that. 788 00:32:09,530 --> 00:32:11,406 God, I don't know how you've reigned so long. 789 00:32:11,430 --> 00:32:12,050 Don't you worry. 790 00:32:12,130 --> 00:32:13,366 I think of something I always do. 791 00:32:13,390 --> 00:32:14,030 Please don't. 792 00:32:14,190 --> 00:32:16,890 If you knew the GBH of the era, why had to take from her indoors? 793 00:32:18,370 --> 00:32:19,450 What a very pleasant woman. 794 00:32:19,990 --> 00:32:20,990 Which one? 795 00:32:21,230 --> 00:32:22,230 Well, you're a good lady. 796 00:32:22,790 --> 00:32:24,370 You're a very lucky man, Arthur. 797 00:32:25,145 --> 00:32:26,310 You need locking up. 798 00:32:27,380 --> 00:32:28,690 Yeah, that's what you need. 799 00:32:29,230 --> 00:32:30,230 Come on. 800 00:32:31,320 --> 00:32:33,750 I'm very sorry to have to be the one to tell you, Mrs Cosgrove. 801 00:32:33,751 --> 00:32:34,970 Er, Miss, um... 802 00:32:35,730 --> 00:32:36,730 Harrison. 803 00:32:36,830 --> 00:32:37,830 Miss Harrison. 804 00:32:38,870 --> 00:32:42,510 If it's any consolation, you're not the only lady that he has deceived in this way. 805 00:32:43,170 --> 00:32:45,630 He's also in the habit of landing them in the club. 806 00:32:46,690 --> 00:32:48,550 So I hope you're not up for the flake. 807 00:32:53,440 --> 00:32:56,800 Very tactful, very tactful, you Welsh cretin. 808 00:33:20,280 --> 00:33:21,280 What's this then? 809 00:33:22,540 --> 00:33:24,180 A bastion of male privacy. 810 00:33:24,885 --> 00:33:26,340 Well, till tomorrow, that is. 811 00:33:26,440 --> 00:33:27,440 Well, how do you mean? 812 00:33:27,720 --> 00:33:28,780 Well, men-only day, innit? 813 00:33:29,380 --> 00:33:32,220 We keep you tucked up here till we sort out your accommodation problem. 814 00:33:32,660 --> 00:33:33,740 What, no birds at all? 815 00:33:33,800 --> 00:33:34,800 Certainly not. 816 00:33:35,080 --> 00:33:39,080 You can be safely protected and cosseted here against the surreal and physical 817 00:33:39,081 --> 00:33:40,940 damage caused by the female of the species. 818 00:33:42,200 --> 00:33:45,400 And another thing in its favour, it protects them against you. 819 00:33:45,660 --> 00:33:46,820 Now, that's not fair, Arthur. 820 00:33:47,575 --> 00:33:48,620 I love all my wives. 821 00:33:49,080 --> 00:33:51,860 Well, in that case, when you're up the steps at the Bailey, a plea of insanity 822 00:33:51,861 --> 00:33:53,941 will go down well with a prosecution, I should think. 823 00:33:54,040 --> 00:33:55,040 Come on. 824 00:33:57,960 --> 00:33:58,960 Ciao. 825 00:34:00,760 --> 00:34:01,760 Ciao. 826 00:34:01,940 --> 00:34:02,600 Has Arthur been in? 827 00:34:02,720 --> 00:34:05,096 Well, earlier, but he had a call from her indoors, didn't he? 828 00:34:05,120 --> 00:34:07,840 Seems confident he's trying to take up Squatter's right at his place. 829 00:34:07,940 --> 00:34:10,300 Arthur shot out of here at 110 miles an hour. 830 00:34:10,500 --> 00:34:11,500 Terrific. 831 00:34:11,720 --> 00:34:13,600 Well, there's something bothering you, is there? 832 00:34:13,890 --> 00:34:17,520 I've just met the fourth Mrs Cosgrove, Unconfident Junior, six-year-old. 833 00:34:17,660 --> 00:34:18,020 Serious. 834 00:34:18,220 --> 00:34:19,220 I'm not even serious. 835 00:34:19,420 --> 00:34:20,461 Give us a drink, will you? 836 00:34:20,560 --> 00:34:21,560 Yeah, of course. 837 00:34:22,270 --> 00:34:24,340 Can I help you, gentlemen? 838 00:34:24,515 --> 00:34:26,640 Yeah, are we all right for a drink, mate? 839 00:34:26,800 --> 00:34:27,520 No, I'm afraid not. 840 00:34:27,725 --> 00:34:28,846 This is a members-only club. 841 00:34:28,940 --> 00:34:31,280 Well, can't someone sign us in as guests? 842 00:34:31,420 --> 00:34:33,320 I mean, punter's a punter, right? 843 00:34:33,890 --> 00:34:35,096 Didn't I see you down the market? 844 00:34:35,120 --> 00:34:35,640 Yeah, that's all right. 845 00:34:36,040 --> 00:34:36,680 Nah, it's all right. 846 00:34:36,720 --> 00:34:37,440 They've all signed me in. 847 00:34:37,600 --> 00:34:38,600 That's great. 848 00:34:40,060 --> 00:34:41,656 Somebody's nicked the bleeding book now, hasn't he? 849 00:34:41,680 --> 00:34:43,440 Never mind, it's a stupid bit of legislation. 850 00:34:43,540 --> 00:34:44,540 What are the urgents? 851 00:34:44,590 --> 00:34:45,776 I'll have a pint of lager, yeah. 852 00:34:45,800 --> 00:34:46,480 I'll have a small one. 853 00:34:46,680 --> 00:34:47,340 I'll have half, yeah. 854 00:34:47,380 --> 00:34:47,500 Cheers. 855 00:34:47,820 --> 00:34:48,820 Come on. 856 00:34:49,690 --> 00:34:50,900 I'm not sure I like this, Arthur. 857 00:34:50,901 --> 00:34:52,320 I'm used to the comfort of my homes. 858 00:34:52,321 --> 00:34:54,280 Will you try looking on the bright side for a change? 859 00:34:54,281 --> 00:34:55,756 I can only do that when there's a bird or two about. 860 00:34:55,780 --> 00:34:56,861 I mean, this ain't natural. 861 00:34:56,900 --> 00:35:01,120 Look, try and see it as a sanctuary, away from the temptations of the female form. 862 00:35:01,660 --> 00:35:04,280 Think of it as a place where you can contemplate your navel. 863 00:35:05,480 --> 00:35:06,480 And everybody else's. 864 00:35:07,140 --> 00:35:08,716 Yeah, but I can't stay here forever, can I? 865 00:35:08,740 --> 00:35:09,080 You know what? 866 00:35:09,100 --> 00:35:11,860 They've got rooms for the night, and you cannot deny it's clean. 867 00:35:12,760 --> 00:35:13,860 Sharing the bath water? 868 00:35:14,610 --> 00:35:15,620 That can't be healthy. 869 00:35:16,060 --> 00:35:17,693 Well, it's a lot healthier than getting your collar felt and 870 00:35:17,694 --> 00:35:20,340 getting in a shovel with Chisholm giving you endless grief. 871 00:35:20,390 --> 00:35:22,060 Come on, get your things off. 872 00:35:22,320 --> 00:35:23,320 Act natural. 873 00:35:29,010 --> 00:35:32,150 Nothing at the registry office is at Fulham, Chelsea, Notting Hill, 874 00:35:32,870 --> 00:35:35,650 but Hammersmith has one Clive Cosgrove wedded 875 00:35:35,651 --> 00:35:38,850 to a Mavis Ann Fisher on the 24th of June, 1977. 876 00:35:39,910 --> 00:35:40,910 Date of birth, Fitz? 877 00:35:41,710 --> 00:35:42,150 Aye. 878 00:35:42,210 --> 00:35:46,390 And Shepherds Bush, a Laura Margaret Doolan, 16th November last year. 879 00:35:47,990 --> 00:35:48,990 How many is that, then? 880 00:35:49,670 --> 00:35:50,670 Five, Gus. 881 00:35:53,810 --> 00:35:55,811 You think he just does it for the wedding presents? 882 00:35:57,970 --> 00:35:59,430 I do love... 883 00:36:03,870 --> 00:36:04,870 you. 884 00:36:10,520 --> 00:36:11,520 Love. 885 00:36:17,840 --> 00:36:19,226 So you're no confident, Clive, do you? 886 00:36:19,250 --> 00:36:20,250 Yeah, yeah. 887 00:36:20,515 --> 00:36:22,955 Matter of fact, it was him who recommended this drinker to us. 888 00:36:23,770 --> 00:36:25,730 When was it we last had a drink with Clive? 889 00:36:26,090 --> 00:36:26,670 I don't know. 890 00:36:26,671 --> 00:36:28,290 About a week ago, wasn't it? 891 00:36:28,580 --> 00:36:29,990 Yeah, about that, about that, yeah. 892 00:36:30,820 --> 00:36:33,750 I see in the paper that he got married the other day? 893 00:36:33,830 --> 00:36:35,110 Right turnout, by all accounts. 894 00:36:35,170 --> 00:36:35,630 Did you see it? 895 00:36:35,850 --> 00:36:36,210 See it? 896 00:36:36,211 --> 00:36:37,211 I was there, weren't I? 897 00:36:37,910 --> 00:36:38,630 Nah, really? 898 00:36:38,850 --> 00:36:39,850 Bloody right. 899 00:36:40,185 --> 00:36:41,650 He does love a bird, doesn't he? 900 00:36:42,440 --> 00:36:43,681 Yeah, you could say that, yeah. 901 00:36:44,295 --> 00:36:48,810 It's funny, that, though, cos I thought he was married to this bird down the market, 902 00:36:48,950 --> 00:36:49,150 didn't I? 903 00:36:49,151 --> 00:36:49,830 What's her name? 904 00:36:50,110 --> 00:36:51,430 Um, Nora. 905 00:36:51,630 --> 00:36:52,230 Laura. 906 00:36:52,490 --> 00:36:53,710 Laura, that's it, that's it. 907 00:36:53,770 --> 00:36:55,170 Yeah, got a houseboat on the canal. 908 00:36:55,370 --> 00:36:57,091 I'd like to have another drink with him now. 909 00:36:57,270 --> 00:36:58,270 Makes me laugh. 910 00:36:58,730 --> 00:36:58,970 Yeah. 911 00:36:59,230 --> 00:37:00,310 Get in here often, does he? 912 00:37:00,510 --> 00:37:01,270 He has been lately. 913 00:37:01,390 --> 00:37:01,830 Hold on. 914 00:37:01,950 --> 00:37:02,950 I'll see you in a minute. 915 00:37:03,950 --> 00:37:05,110 Have I got some news for you? 916 00:37:05,170 --> 00:37:06,170 You're not the only one. 917 00:37:06,650 --> 00:37:07,550 I've got another one. 918 00:37:07,670 --> 00:37:08,310 Another one? 919 00:37:08,350 --> 00:37:09,350 Shut up! 920 00:37:19,910 --> 00:37:21,590 Very pleasant to relax here, isn't it? 921 00:37:22,990 --> 00:37:24,210 Yeah, yeah, I suppose it is. 922 00:37:25,145 --> 00:37:26,266 You're new here, aren't you? 923 00:37:27,305 --> 00:37:29,890 Yeah, well, I'm more your private bathroom type, you know. 924 00:37:29,940 --> 00:37:30,940 I see. 925 00:37:32,000 --> 00:37:34,200 Well, we'll have to get her out of the closet, won't we? 926 00:37:35,430 --> 00:37:37,210 We're always looking for new members here. 927 00:37:39,170 --> 00:37:40,611 Well, you won't find any there, mate. 928 00:37:52,250 --> 00:37:53,531 There's a bird in the wool shop. 929 00:37:53,840 --> 00:37:54,200 Mavis. 930 00:37:54,700 --> 00:37:55,320 And a little boy. 931 00:37:55,500 --> 00:37:56,240 God. 932 00:37:56,480 --> 00:37:58,576 Chisholm reckons there's another one up in Northampton. 933 00:37:58,600 --> 00:37:59,020 Do what? 934 00:37:59,160 --> 00:37:59,380 Yeah. 935 00:37:59,900 --> 00:38:01,780 Terry, that man definitely needs deep therapy. 936 00:38:02,660 --> 00:38:03,696 Yeah, well, hold on to your trilby. 937 00:38:03,720 --> 00:38:04,760 See the geezers down here? 938 00:38:05,280 --> 00:38:06,080 You still smoking that? 939 00:38:06,180 --> 00:38:06,860 Yeah, what about them? 940 00:38:07,085 --> 00:38:08,796 Well, they reckon their mates are close, right? 941 00:38:08,820 --> 00:38:10,441 And they've got half an idea that he's webbed up to 942 00:38:10,442 --> 00:38:12,402 the bird who I deliver dresses to down the market. 943 00:38:12,610 --> 00:38:13,320 God, no. 944 00:38:13,420 --> 00:38:14,220 I need another drink. 945 00:38:14,300 --> 00:38:15,300 Dave, double-double. 946 00:38:16,650 --> 00:38:18,091 No, you're gonna have to unload him. 947 00:38:18,530 --> 00:38:21,210 Before this all gets totally out of hand and we all end up in stook. 948 00:38:21,320 --> 00:38:21,780 Unload him? 949 00:38:21,860 --> 00:38:23,500 Terry, the man's supposed to be a friend. 950 00:38:24,140 --> 00:38:25,376 Coming from you, that's lovely. 951 00:38:25,400 --> 00:38:28,020 Now, who was it who once said to me, a friend in need is a pest? 952 00:38:28,400 --> 00:38:28,720 You. 953 00:38:29,040 --> 00:38:30,040 Now, get rid of him. 954 00:38:30,240 --> 00:38:31,660 This is not like you at all, Terry. 955 00:38:32,220 --> 00:38:34,140 Yeah, well, you didn't see Angie's face, did you? 956 00:38:34,675 --> 00:38:37,436 No, I mean, looking after an honest thief, that's one thing, isn't it? 957 00:38:37,950 --> 00:38:39,711 But he's been a right bastard to these birds. 958 00:38:40,160 --> 00:38:42,376 You're not suggesting we point Chisholm in his direction, are you? 959 00:38:42,400 --> 00:38:43,480 No, no, nothing like that. 960 00:38:43,520 --> 00:38:44,520 That's well out of order. 961 00:38:44,900 --> 00:38:46,620 I'd just forget any ideas of harbouring him. 962 00:38:47,350 --> 00:38:48,991 Do you think they're talking about Clive? 963 00:38:49,590 --> 00:38:50,940 I'd like to offer generous odds. 964 00:38:52,360 --> 00:38:53,520 What do you reckon, then? 965 00:38:54,590 --> 00:38:55,590 Play it by ear. 966 00:38:56,180 --> 00:38:57,456 So what are we gonna do about him? 967 00:38:57,480 --> 00:38:58,480 I don't know. 968 00:38:59,340 --> 00:39:00,520 The man owes me, Terry. 969 00:39:00,840 --> 00:39:02,326 I mean, I wouldn't want to lose contact with him. 970 00:39:02,350 --> 00:39:03,350 No, no. 971 00:39:05,410 --> 00:39:06,491 Yeah, what about those two? 972 00:39:06,880 --> 00:39:07,880 What about them? 973 00:39:08,370 --> 00:39:11,820 Well, they say they're mates of Clive's and they seem to like his company and all that. 974 00:39:12,550 --> 00:39:15,260 What, you mean, get them to try and... Why not? 975 00:39:15,300 --> 00:39:16,380 It's worth a try, isn't it? 976 00:39:17,660 --> 00:39:18,060 Hey! 977 00:39:18,500 --> 00:39:19,860 How did you know where to find me? 978 00:39:20,060 --> 00:39:23,520 You are Laura Margaret Cosgrove, née Doolan. 979 00:39:23,820 --> 00:39:24,820 Is that correct? 980 00:39:25,420 --> 00:39:29,320 And you went through a form of marriage with Clive Albert Cosgrove at Shepherd's 981 00:39:29,321 --> 00:39:31,820 Bush Registry Office in November of last year, did you not? 982 00:39:31,821 --> 00:39:34,140 Do you mind telling me what this is all about, officer? 983 00:39:35,960 --> 00:39:38,380 It concerns Clive Albert Cosgrove, madam. 984 00:39:38,480 --> 00:39:41,000 The man you married. 985 00:39:42,220 --> 00:39:44,280 Afraid I have some rather unpleasant news for you. 986 00:39:45,460 --> 00:39:48,260 Been hurt in some sort of an accident, has he? 987 00:39:49,980 --> 00:39:51,780 Not that I heard, no. 988 00:39:52,480 --> 00:39:53,480 Should he have been? 989 00:39:55,000 --> 00:39:59,780 Listen, if you've come to tell me that that bastard got married again the other 990 00:39:59,781 --> 00:40:04,820 day without informing me, let alone bothering to divorce me first, I already know. 991 00:40:06,680 --> 00:40:10,120 You didn't think to inform the authorities of this some bigamous act? 992 00:40:10,820 --> 00:40:12,100 I'd have got around to it. 993 00:40:12,260 --> 00:40:14,556 Well, in that case, you won't mind coming down to the station 994 00:40:14,557 --> 00:40:17,620 to make a statement about your relationship with Mr Cosgrove. 995 00:40:18,340 --> 00:40:20,700 You and the other wives can swap notes. 996 00:40:22,060 --> 00:40:23,060 Wives? 997 00:40:37,560 --> 00:40:40,191 Look, because of your particular intimate knowledge of 998 00:40:40,192 --> 00:40:43,020 the man, you might be able to help us with our enquiries. 999 00:40:45,210 --> 00:40:47,980 You must have certain insights into his habits. 1000 00:40:49,080 --> 00:40:51,620 That is to say, places he might frequent. 1001 00:40:53,520 --> 00:40:56,680 Public houses, licensed premises, whatever. 1002 00:40:57,750 --> 00:41:02,460 Who his friends are, who he does business with, acquaintances, that sort of thing. 1003 00:41:03,450 --> 00:41:06,635 Any information of this sort will help us build up a 1004 00:41:06,636 --> 00:41:10,560 picture of his movements, perhaps a pattern of behaviour. 1005 00:41:10,970 --> 00:41:12,626 Who the hell do you think you're looking at? 1006 00:41:12,650 --> 00:41:15,360 Not sure I've seen one before. 1007 00:41:16,180 --> 00:41:17,300 How dare you. 1008 00:41:17,645 --> 00:41:20,460 I appreciate how embarrassing this must be for all of you. 1009 00:41:20,461 --> 00:41:21,680 I was Clive's wife before you. 1010 00:41:21,840 --> 00:41:23,740 Believe me, I sympathise. 1011 00:41:24,310 --> 00:41:26,680 I'm his real wife if I was married to him before any of you. 1012 00:41:26,880 --> 00:41:29,920 Well, it's not difficult to see why I passed you lot up for something better. 1013 00:41:30,140 --> 00:41:31,700 You think you're better, do you? 1014 00:41:32,040 --> 00:41:34,080 Ladies, contain yourself, please. 1015 00:41:34,340 --> 00:41:36,540 Did you call me a bitch, you fat cow? 1016 00:41:36,541 --> 00:41:37,541 What, on me? 1017 00:41:38,580 --> 00:41:40,480 Contain yourselves, ladies, please. 1018 00:41:42,040 --> 00:41:43,980 Well, if you're sure that's all right. 1019 00:41:44,620 --> 00:41:45,960 Course, no problem. 1020 00:41:47,000 --> 00:41:48,000 Is it, Barry? 1021 00:41:48,530 --> 00:41:49,920 No, no, not at all. 1022 00:41:51,340 --> 00:41:55,160 See, as a matter of fact, I've got this mate who's just started a lagging at the 1023 00:41:55,161 --> 00:42:00,360 scrubs, you know, and he asked me to find someone to look after his flat for him 1024 00:42:00,361 --> 00:42:04,260 while he's away like this, so I suppose he could hole up there? 1025 00:42:04,860 --> 00:42:05,941 Well, it'd be double handy. 1026 00:42:06,140 --> 00:42:07,140 Yeah, come on. 1027 00:42:07,550 --> 00:42:08,420 Where are we going, then? 1028 00:42:08,560 --> 00:42:09,736 We'll take you to him, but I've got a little 1029 00:42:09,737 --> 00:42:12,201 bit of business to finish with him first. 1030 00:42:13,540 --> 00:42:14,540 Ta-da! 1031 00:42:15,740 --> 00:42:16,740 Arthur! 1032 00:42:16,920 --> 00:42:17,920 Slade! 1033 00:42:23,650 --> 00:42:24,650 Perhaps he's in here. 1034 00:42:32,830 --> 00:42:33,830 There he is. 1035 00:42:37,170 --> 00:42:38,170 Clive! 1036 00:42:39,550 --> 00:42:40,550 Clive! 1037 00:42:41,850 --> 00:42:42,250 Arthur! 1038 00:42:42,251 --> 00:42:43,251 Arthur! 1039 00:42:43,550 --> 00:42:44,991 So... There he is. 1040 00:42:45,170 --> 00:42:46,170 Hello, Clive. 1041 00:42:50,360 --> 00:42:51,360 Arthur. 1042 00:42:52,600 --> 00:42:53,600 You dummy! 1043 00:42:54,200 --> 00:42:55,740 What are you doing bringing them here? 1044 00:42:57,100 --> 00:42:58,100 Come on. 1045 00:42:58,710 --> 00:42:59,840 Let's get the bastard. 1046 00:42:59,960 --> 00:43:00,500 Hold on, hold on. 1047 00:43:00,520 --> 00:43:01,060 What's going on? 1048 00:43:01,500 --> 00:43:03,227 One of the women that that Slade conned into 1049 00:43:03,228 --> 00:43:05,661 marrying him happens to be our sister's son. 1050 00:43:07,020 --> 00:43:08,116 Well, you don't have to stand there. 1051 00:43:08,140 --> 00:43:08,780 Get after them. 1052 00:43:08,880 --> 00:43:09,320 Stop them. 1053 00:43:09,640 --> 00:43:10,640 He might deserve it. 1054 00:43:12,140 --> 00:43:15,660 Terry, if he gets hurt, you'll never forgive yourself, and I'll never get my dough. 1055 00:43:15,840 --> 00:43:17,500 And remember, your wages are involved. 1056 00:43:17,800 --> 00:43:18,800 Sub the wages. 1057 00:43:19,140 --> 00:43:20,140 Terry! 1058 00:43:20,280 --> 00:43:21,280 What? 1059 00:43:27,140 --> 00:43:29,200 Terry, you can't stand by and see him get battered. 1060 00:43:29,670 --> 00:43:30,991 This was all your idea, remember? 1061 00:43:35,340 --> 00:43:36,340 Terry! 1062 00:43:39,100 --> 00:43:40,100 Sorry. 1063 00:43:41,620 --> 00:43:42,620 Quite all right. 1064 00:43:42,840 --> 00:43:43,840 My pleasure. 1065 00:44:17,030 --> 00:44:18,030 You... 1066 00:44:20,130 --> 00:44:21,130 But, 1067 00:44:36,260 --> 00:44:37,060 Terry, thank God. 1068 00:44:37,240 --> 00:44:37,740 We're all right. 1069 00:44:37,741 --> 00:44:38,380 I'm right behind you. 1070 00:44:38,540 --> 00:44:39,600 Come on, let's get out before they find us. 1071 00:44:39,620 --> 00:44:40,220 And what about my clothes? 1072 00:44:40,420 --> 00:44:41,100 Nah, forget those. 1073 00:44:41,120 --> 00:44:42,120 We'll come back for them. 1074 00:44:49,610 --> 00:44:50,850 You've got no clothes on. 1075 00:44:50,910 --> 00:44:51,830 Don't worry about that. 1076 00:44:51,890 --> 00:44:53,410 Get a move on before they find out we've gone. 1077 00:44:53,411 --> 00:44:54,170 Yeah, move it, loudly. 1078 00:44:54,270 --> 00:44:55,230 Arthur, they're Laura's brothers. 1079 00:44:55,270 --> 00:44:55,890 They're lunatics. 1080 00:44:55,910 --> 00:44:56,910 All right, all right. 1081 00:44:57,150 --> 00:44:58,150 Put your seat belt on. 1082 00:45:03,110 --> 00:45:05,391 You weren't thinking of shooting off without us, were you? 1083 00:45:05,510 --> 00:45:06,590 No, no, no, no. 1084 00:45:06,650 --> 00:45:07,831 It was if I do a thing like that. 1085 00:45:07,855 --> 00:45:10,190 It's getting the car warmed up for a quick getaway. 1086 00:45:16,690 --> 00:45:17,690 Give yourself up. 1087 00:45:18,070 --> 00:45:19,670 But what else is there for me to do now? 1088 00:45:20,390 --> 00:45:22,231 I mean, there's nowhere for me to go what with five 1089 00:45:22,232 --> 00:45:24,571 wives, two hooligans and the old bill on me daily. 1090 00:45:25,170 --> 00:45:26,210 And then there's the kids. 1091 00:45:26,930 --> 00:45:28,606 I've got to sort something for them, haven't I? 1092 00:45:28,630 --> 00:45:30,530 You turn yourself in, it's a dot on the card. 1093 00:45:30,610 --> 00:45:31,610 You get porridge. 1094 00:45:31,650 --> 00:45:34,546 Yeah, well, there's more chance of that if I wait to get captured, isn't there, Terry? 1095 00:45:34,570 --> 00:45:35,690 That is true, that is true. 1096 00:45:35,770 --> 00:45:38,170 There's nothing a bleep likes more than a bit of contrition. 1097 00:45:38,990 --> 00:45:39,990 No, I'll be all right. 1098 00:45:40,710 --> 00:45:43,270 Get myself a good brief and cop for a play of temporary insanity. 1099 00:45:43,870 --> 00:45:44,870 Stick in the mitigation. 1100 00:45:45,390 --> 00:45:46,530 Kids to support, you know. 1101 00:45:48,110 --> 00:45:49,110 I'll sort something out. 1102 00:45:49,830 --> 00:45:50,390 Don't worry. 1103 00:45:50,850 --> 00:45:52,226 Turn the heater up when you're off. 1104 00:45:52,250 --> 00:45:54,926 Well, we ain't going to give you any argument, confident, are we, Terry? 1105 00:45:54,950 --> 00:45:57,070 No, it's probably the best thing in the circumstances. 1106 00:45:57,190 --> 00:45:58,190 Get it all sorted out. 1107 00:45:59,770 --> 00:46:01,850 So, do you want us to drop you off round there, then? 1108 00:46:02,090 --> 00:46:02,410 Where? 1109 00:46:02,990 --> 00:46:03,990 The old bill shop. 1110 00:46:05,310 --> 00:46:06,310 What, like this? 1111 00:46:06,830 --> 00:46:08,590 No, I've got a bit of clobber at the lock-up. 1112 00:46:08,950 --> 00:46:12,050 As a matter of fact, I could do you a very tasty whistle for 50 sovs. 1113 00:46:12,330 --> 00:46:13,330 Look very good in court. 1114 00:46:13,650 --> 00:46:14,890 Conservative, know what I mean? 1115 00:46:15,030 --> 00:46:16,566 Well, that's very considerate of you, Arthur. 1116 00:46:16,590 --> 00:46:17,590 Very considerate. 1117 00:46:17,670 --> 00:46:18,670 Not at all. 1118 00:46:18,950 --> 00:46:22,430 But before we, as you might say, deliver you up, there's a little matter of 1119 00:46:22,431 --> 00:46:25,110 the readies that you are already into me for. 1120 00:46:25,410 --> 00:46:26,070 Yeah. 1121 00:46:26,210 --> 00:46:27,210 All right. 1122 00:46:31,250 --> 00:46:34,450 I've left all my money and my chequebook in this stride's back in the house club. 1123 00:46:35,570 --> 00:46:38,331 Well, if Terry wants to go back and fetch it, I mean, you can have it. 1124 00:46:40,215 --> 00:46:44,230 Now, remember to emphasise to Chisholm Terry and me's innocent role in all this. 1125 00:46:44,870 --> 00:46:47,670 And be insistent, because the chances are he won't want to listen. 1126 00:46:48,270 --> 00:46:51,890 I do not know why it is, but he has got this unwarranted prejudice against Terry 1127 00:46:52,340 --> 00:46:53,340 for some strange reason. 1128 00:46:53,370 --> 00:46:54,490 No, well, it's you giving me up. 1129 00:46:54,491 --> 00:46:55,570 No, no, no, no, no, no. 1130 00:46:55,571 --> 00:46:56,571 In you go. 1131 00:47:11,700 --> 00:47:12,700 What is going on here? 1132 00:47:13,410 --> 00:47:14,620 Mr Chisholm. 1133 00:47:14,720 --> 00:47:15,360 I'll tell you what. 1134 00:47:15,560 --> 00:47:16,840 Just for once, let me do it? 1135 00:47:18,140 --> 00:47:19,420 Arthur can explain everything. 1136 00:47:20,080 --> 00:47:21,080 Me? 1137 00:47:21,720 --> 00:47:23,121 Listen, shall I drive you home now? 1138 00:47:23,360 --> 00:47:24,360 Yes. 1139 00:47:25,060 --> 00:47:26,060 Er, Daly. 1140 00:47:27,040 --> 00:47:28,040 Terry? 1141 00:48:03,590 --> 00:48:04,590 That's my car. 1142 00:48:07,490 --> 00:48:08,630 Follow Arnie's pick-up. 1143 00:48:09,710 --> 00:48:10,730 Follow Arnie's pick-up. 1144 00:48:10,830 --> 00:48:11,830 Where to? 1145 00:48:33,340 --> 00:48:35,040 I'm really sorry about that, Arthur. 1146 00:48:35,080 --> 00:48:36,200 If only you'd come earlier. 1147 00:48:36,201 --> 00:48:37,780 We didn't know where you were, did we? 1148 00:48:37,840 --> 00:48:39,120 We went to the other yard first. 1149 00:48:42,840 --> 00:48:43,580 I'll tell you what. 1150 00:48:43,640 --> 00:48:46,320 The 15 quid I got for it, you can take the lot. 1151 00:48:47,000 --> 00:48:48,976 I mean, it wouldn't be right for me to take my weight, would it? 1152 00:48:49,000 --> 00:48:49,900 It couldn't be fairer than that, could it? 1153 00:48:49,980 --> 00:48:51,400 No, it seems perfectly fair to me. 1154 00:48:51,520 --> 00:48:51,760 Fair? 1155 00:48:52,500 --> 00:48:52,780 Fair? 1156 00:48:53,400 --> 00:48:55,520 That motor stood me in 600 sovs. 1157 00:48:56,060 --> 00:48:56,340 600! 1158 00:48:56,980 --> 00:48:58,700 And you're offering me a rotten 15. 1159 00:48:59,740 --> 00:49:00,980 Claim on the insurance, Arthur. 1160 00:49:01,040 --> 00:49:02,040 Yet to say it was stolen. 1161 00:49:02,620 --> 00:49:03,740 But don't mention my name, of course. 1162 00:49:03,760 --> 00:49:04,900 No, don't mention his name, all right? 1163 00:49:04,901 --> 00:49:05,940 Terry. 1164 00:49:06,980 --> 00:49:07,360 Idim. 1165 00:49:07,820 --> 00:49:08,160 What? 1166 00:49:08,440 --> 00:49:09,440 Idim! 1167 00:49:10,020 --> 00:49:11,020 No! 1168 00:49:11,220 --> 00:49:12,220 Well, I will. 1169 00:49:12,320 --> 00:49:12,880 Oi, oi, oi! 1170 00:49:12,881 --> 00:49:14,660 Behind yourself, come on! 1171 00:49:17,200 --> 00:49:18,200 I'll 1172 00:49:34,940 --> 00:49:38,080 change the situation 1173 00:49:43,060 --> 00:49:46,060 I'm just the wrong location 1174 00:49:52,580 --> 00:50:00,580 Good idea Just you keep me near I'll be so good for you I can be so good for you I'm 1175 00:50:00,581 --> 00:50:06,180 gonna help you Love you like you want me to I'll do anything for 1176 00:50:10,230 --> 00:50:16,070 you I can be so good for you I'll do it like you want me to Love you like you want 1177 00:50:16,071 --> 00:50:23,090 me to There ain't nothing I can't go through I'll be so good for you 1177 00:50:24,305 --> 00:51:24,406 Watch Online Movies and Series for FREE www.osdb.link/lm