"Minder" The Long Ride Back to Scratchwood

1 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org 2 00:01:27,010 --> 00:01:27,450 Terry! 3 00:01:27,650 --> 00:01:28,650 Hello. 4 00:01:28,970 --> 00:01:30,626 I've been trying to get hold of you for days. 5 00:01:30,650 --> 00:01:31,150 Where is he? 6 00:01:31,490 --> 00:01:31,930 Who? 7 00:01:32,310 --> 00:01:34,170 The great man, numero uno. 8 00:01:34,550 --> 00:01:35,890 Art Badalian's given me a blank. 9 00:01:36,170 --> 00:01:37,926 No, it's about... Golly, they love me, darling. 10 00:01:37,950 --> 00:01:39,350 Quest today, straight off the boat. 11 00:01:39,990 --> 00:01:41,190 So where is he? 12 00:01:41,250 --> 00:01:41,870 He's never at home. 13 00:01:42,220 --> 00:01:43,850 They lock up, engaged all the time. 14 00:01:44,160 --> 00:01:45,640 I billed him at the club in the ante. 15 00:01:45,750 --> 00:01:46,510 You look knackered. 16 00:01:46,590 --> 00:01:47,590 What are you, jogging? 17 00:01:47,635 --> 00:01:48,995 I'm going to see the bank manager. 18 00:01:49,090 --> 00:01:50,090 What do you want him for? 19 00:01:50,770 --> 00:01:52,090 We're all going to be rich, Till. 20 00:01:53,790 --> 00:01:54,790 Tickets, capisce? 21 00:01:55,690 --> 00:01:56,690 What are you on about? 22 00:01:57,090 --> 00:01:58,230 This is the big one, Till. 23 00:01:58,350 --> 00:01:59,950 I've been working on this for weeks. 24 00:02:00,010 --> 00:02:01,446 He'll be very impressed, I'm telling you. 25 00:02:01,470 --> 00:02:01,590 What? 26 00:02:01,710 --> 00:02:02,710 It's money in the bank. 27 00:02:03,110 --> 00:02:04,510 But see, it's too big for me. 28 00:02:04,950 --> 00:02:06,510 See, he's got the muscle, he's got you. 29 00:02:07,380 --> 00:02:08,666 He's not a gangster, though, you know. 30 00:02:08,690 --> 00:02:10,070 No, but he's a name, he's a face. 31 00:02:10,810 --> 00:02:11,810 25p. 32 00:02:11,870 --> 00:02:12,130 You what? 33 00:02:12,590 --> 00:02:12,990 25p? 34 00:02:13,390 --> 00:02:14,190 15p for cash. 35 00:02:14,370 --> 00:02:16,250 Don't go in there, darling, they take liberties. 36 00:02:16,330 --> 00:02:16,630 Come on. 37 00:02:16,990 --> 00:02:18,390 Hey, come on, behave yourself. 38 00:02:19,030 --> 00:02:20,150 You ain't had breakfast yet. 39 00:02:20,610 --> 00:02:22,310 Got more front-end salvages you have. 40 00:02:23,190 --> 00:02:24,270 We can take over. 41 00:02:24,430 --> 00:02:25,470 We can break the monopoly. 42 00:02:25,690 --> 00:02:27,490 I'm not just talking about football, anything. 43 00:02:28,090 --> 00:02:31,330 Wimbledon, ballet at Covent Garden, boxing, Chelsea Flower Show. 44 00:02:32,600 --> 00:02:33,600 What about Phil? 45 00:02:34,010 --> 00:02:34,410 Who? 46 00:02:34,910 --> 00:02:35,950 King of the Taps. 47 00:02:36,070 --> 00:02:37,750 I mean, he's not going to abdicate, is he? 48 00:02:38,150 --> 00:02:39,150 So what? 49 00:02:39,615 --> 00:02:40,530 He's had a good run. 50 00:02:40,531 --> 00:02:41,531 The King's dead. 51 00:02:41,610 --> 00:02:41,810 Boom. 52 00:02:42,010 --> 00:02:43,030 Long live the new King. 53 00:02:43,230 --> 00:02:44,990 They've all got to go sometime, haven't they? 54 00:02:45,445 --> 00:02:47,250 See, I've got so many ideas and plans. 55 00:02:47,450 --> 00:02:49,610 I'm going to really get my act together while I'm away. 56 00:02:50,430 --> 00:02:51,470 Well, where are you going? 57 00:02:51,730 --> 00:02:52,890 I'm on bail, didn't you know? 58 00:02:53,360 --> 00:02:54,360 Crown Court next week. 59 00:02:55,130 --> 00:02:55,710 It's all right. 60 00:02:55,790 --> 00:02:56,990 My brief rent in six months. 61 00:02:57,130 --> 00:02:58,130 Hope my neck be a duddle. 62 00:02:59,105 --> 00:03:01,386 See, but that's why I've got to get this tickets thing settled. 63 00:03:01,410 --> 00:03:01,750 I see. 64 00:03:01,830 --> 00:03:03,910 So you can go straight back in when you come out? 65 00:03:03,995 --> 00:03:05,590 No, this is what I'm telling you. 66 00:03:05,810 --> 00:03:06,810 It's all legal. 67 00:03:06,890 --> 00:03:08,350 They advertise it in the Times. 68 00:03:09,070 --> 00:03:11,510 I've got a scheme that will curl the great Arthur's ear. 69 00:03:11,690 --> 00:03:12,270 Pretty sure. 70 00:03:12,470 --> 00:03:12,770 Yes? 71 00:03:13,030 --> 00:03:14,230 A cup or two, please. 72 00:03:14,470 --> 00:03:15,870 And cappuccino, please. 73 00:03:16,930 --> 00:03:17,930 That's coffee. 74 00:03:19,730 --> 00:03:21,390 Anyway, I don't like young people. 75 00:03:21,510 --> 00:03:23,166 I certainly don't want to meet one of them. 76 00:03:23,190 --> 00:03:24,110 He's not young people. 77 00:03:24,210 --> 00:03:25,050 He's a person, isn't he? 78 00:03:25,130 --> 00:03:26,930 He's not representative of the old generation. 79 00:03:27,450 --> 00:03:28,450 Have you seen them? 80 00:03:29,150 --> 00:03:30,270 Look, there's one there. 81 00:03:31,470 --> 00:03:32,470 There's another one. 82 00:03:32,690 --> 00:03:33,430 Look at that one. 83 00:03:33,470 --> 00:03:34,290 That's a girl, that one. 84 00:03:34,450 --> 00:03:35,450 You know what I mean. 85 00:03:35,750 --> 00:03:37,351 They think they know it all, don't they? 86 00:03:37,530 --> 00:03:39,910 They're slovenly, rude, opinionated. 87 00:03:40,245 --> 00:03:42,565 Yeah, well, he reckons he's got Steve Benson in his pocket. 88 00:03:42,690 --> 00:03:43,250 Old Benno? 89 00:03:43,510 --> 00:03:44,510 Yeah, old Benno. 90 00:03:44,990 --> 00:03:46,111 He's a fair play, wasn't he? 91 00:03:46,170 --> 00:03:46,570 Fair. 92 00:03:46,710 --> 00:03:47,710 He's brilliant. 93 00:03:48,055 --> 00:03:49,166 Had a few drinks the night before. 94 00:03:49,190 --> 00:03:51,430 He'd still pop a couple of goals in the net the next day. 95 00:03:52,790 --> 00:03:54,590 And this, um... What's his name? 96 00:03:55,670 --> 00:03:56,670 Justin. 97 00:03:58,470 --> 00:03:59,871 He reckons he knows Benno, does he? 98 00:04:00,680 --> 00:04:01,721 Yeah, he gets about a bit. 99 00:04:13,030 --> 00:04:14,610 Move, move it, superstar. 100 00:04:14,611 --> 00:04:15,611 The ankle. 101 00:04:16,300 --> 00:04:17,710 Yeah, you can hobble to the bar. 102 00:04:18,160 --> 00:04:19,641 None of you are buying them, darling. 103 00:04:21,470 --> 00:04:21,870 Oi! 104 00:04:22,350 --> 00:04:24,031 This is supposed to be a training session! 105 00:04:24,290 --> 00:04:24,910 Who told you that? 106 00:04:25,140 --> 00:04:26,140 I'll be back in a minute. 107 00:04:26,330 --> 00:04:27,330 Who is he? 108 00:04:27,430 --> 00:04:29,010 An agent from Real Madrid? 109 00:04:29,670 --> 00:04:30,670 A media man? 110 00:04:31,290 --> 00:04:32,610 He's me counsellor from A.A. 111 00:04:34,410 --> 00:04:36,050 You don't have to take all that, do you? 112 00:04:36,270 --> 00:04:37,270 Yeah, I do. 113 00:04:37,550 --> 00:04:39,150 I can't even get the first team. 114 00:04:39,540 --> 00:04:41,310 Whatever, they can't even lace your boots. 115 00:04:41,410 --> 00:04:41,690 Yeah, yeah. 116 00:04:42,250 --> 00:04:43,510 What's the score with your men? 117 00:04:43,511 --> 00:04:43,970 Daily. 118 00:04:44,090 --> 00:04:45,106 I've got to meet with him. 119 00:04:45,130 --> 00:04:46,566 That's why I've got to know about the deal. 120 00:04:46,590 --> 00:04:47,230 I don't know. 121 00:04:47,530 --> 00:04:48,270 He's well known. 122 00:04:48,330 --> 00:04:49,450 That's why I've got to know. 123 00:04:49,690 --> 00:04:50,690 Right. 124 00:04:50,930 --> 00:04:54,110 I can get 2,000 tickets for the England-Scotland game. 125 00:04:54,515 --> 00:04:56,390 Cash on a nail, face value. 126 00:04:57,005 --> 00:04:59,286 You sell them on the open market for whatever you can get. 127 00:04:59,500 --> 00:05:00,500 You fix your own price. 128 00:05:00,760 --> 00:05:02,070 Double, treble, even more? 129 00:05:02,460 --> 00:05:04,381 The old jocks will rob banks to get them tickets. 130 00:05:04,690 --> 00:05:04,850 Right. 131 00:05:05,060 --> 00:05:06,060 That's why it's big. 132 00:05:07,030 --> 00:05:08,351 I could be a marked man for this. 133 00:05:08,910 --> 00:05:10,191 I usually do business with Phil. 134 00:05:10,800 --> 00:05:12,841 I collect all the tickets and the players in London. 135 00:05:13,195 --> 00:05:14,195 But what do I get? 136 00:05:14,630 --> 00:05:15,030 Peanuts. 137 00:05:15,505 --> 00:05:16,510 He takes me for granted. 138 00:05:16,990 --> 00:05:18,151 Why should I make him richer? 139 00:05:18,590 --> 00:05:20,431 If I had the money, I'd buy the tickets myself. 140 00:05:20,810 --> 00:05:21,510 But I haven't. 141 00:05:21,610 --> 00:05:22,610 And you're pot less. 142 00:05:23,090 --> 00:05:24,090 Slightly embarrassed. 143 00:05:24,130 --> 00:05:25,130 You're a skimp, Justin. 144 00:05:25,210 --> 00:05:26,210 Yeah, I'm sure so. 145 00:05:26,280 --> 00:05:28,370 Look, I'm relying on you. 146 00:05:28,980 --> 00:05:30,676 I mean, I don't know the villains and gangsters. 147 00:05:30,700 --> 00:05:31,700 That's your game. 148 00:05:32,150 --> 00:05:33,370 Bloody right, that's my game. 149 00:05:38,590 --> 00:05:39,590 Good morning, gentlemen. 150 00:05:39,890 --> 00:05:40,030 Hello. 151 00:05:40,190 --> 00:05:41,350 May I take my coat, please? 152 00:05:42,600 --> 00:05:43,330 There he is, up there. 153 00:05:43,530 --> 00:05:44,530 Where? 154 00:05:44,810 --> 00:05:45,810 Play the piano. 155 00:05:46,870 --> 00:05:47,870 Thank you, sir. 156 00:05:51,190 --> 00:05:52,190 Mrs Mills. 157 00:05:54,050 --> 00:05:55,050 Come in, sir. 158 00:05:55,560 --> 00:05:56,560 The great man. 159 00:05:57,270 --> 00:05:58,490 Il senor Daly. 160 00:05:59,250 --> 00:06:00,250 Numero uno. 161 00:06:00,390 --> 00:06:01,050 You what? 162 00:06:01,330 --> 00:06:01,950 I tell you what. 163 00:06:02,085 --> 00:06:03,706 This is one of the greatest days of my life. 164 00:06:03,730 --> 00:06:04,150 Come and sit down. 165 00:06:04,250 --> 00:06:05,250 Come and sit down. 166 00:06:05,650 --> 00:06:06,650 A glass of suave? 167 00:06:07,645 --> 00:06:09,390 And how did I know you liked suave? 168 00:06:09,690 --> 00:06:10,410 I didn't know. 169 00:06:10,411 --> 00:06:11,150 I just knew. 170 00:06:11,375 --> 00:06:12,470 Arthur, this is Justin. 171 00:06:13,010 --> 00:06:13,570 Yeah, yeah. 172 00:06:13,850 --> 00:06:14,850 Pleased to meet you. 173 00:06:14,910 --> 00:06:15,550 Cool, Arthur. 174 00:06:15,750 --> 00:06:16,250 Lay back. 175 00:06:16,390 --> 00:06:16,690 See that? 176 00:06:16,810 --> 00:06:18,250 He's sizing me up the old fox? 177 00:06:19,510 --> 00:06:19,830 What's that? 178 00:06:20,530 --> 00:06:21,270 I tell you what. 179 00:06:21,310 --> 00:06:22,350 I still can't believe it. 180 00:06:22,450 --> 00:06:23,570 Me sitting with you, Arthur. 181 00:06:23,610 --> 00:06:25,226 I mean, you don't mind me calling you Arthur, do you, Arthur? 182 00:06:25,250 --> 00:06:25,310 No. 183 00:06:25,410 --> 00:06:25,830 Of course you don't. 184 00:06:25,910 --> 00:06:26,110 No, no. 185 00:06:26,170 --> 00:06:27,170 It's perfectly all right. 186 00:06:27,630 --> 00:06:27,950 Justin. 187 00:06:28,130 --> 00:06:28,430 Justin. 188 00:06:28,510 --> 00:06:28,830 Justin. 189 00:06:29,110 --> 00:06:30,370 And I tell you what. 190 00:06:30,605 --> 00:06:31,970 In my book, you are an hero. 191 00:06:32,630 --> 00:06:34,111 I mean, you're up there with a start. 192 00:06:34,370 --> 00:06:34,690 Bogey. 193 00:06:34,810 --> 00:06:35,810 Edward Gee. 194 00:06:35,890 --> 00:06:36,470 George Rath. 195 00:06:36,530 --> 00:06:37,150 Did you know him? 196 00:06:37,410 --> 00:06:37,730 Who? 197 00:06:37,731 --> 00:06:38,610 George Rath. 198 00:06:38,670 --> 00:06:39,670 When he came to London. 199 00:06:40,230 --> 00:06:40,750 Yeah. 200 00:06:40,870 --> 00:06:41,010 Yeah. 201 00:06:41,050 --> 00:06:42,490 We had a few words. 202 00:06:42,670 --> 00:06:42,990 Yeah. 203 00:06:43,110 --> 00:06:44,110 I'll bet? 204 00:06:44,190 --> 00:06:45,286 And I've also said to Terry. 205 00:06:45,310 --> 00:06:47,710 I said, Terry, you are privileged to work with Arthur Daly. 206 00:06:47,970 --> 00:06:48,970 When did you say that? 207 00:06:49,350 --> 00:06:50,350 I told you. 208 00:06:50,390 --> 00:06:51,390 Dozens of times. 209 00:06:51,870 --> 00:06:53,130 See, you can help me, Arthur. 210 00:06:53,490 --> 00:06:54,190 You've got it all. 211 00:06:54,310 --> 00:06:55,990 The knowledge, the wisdom, the experience. 212 00:06:56,270 --> 00:06:58,010 See, me, I'm just starting on the ladder. 213 00:06:58,365 --> 00:06:59,430 A mere apprentice. 214 00:07:00,050 --> 00:07:01,370 It's like Leonardo da Vinci. 215 00:07:01,830 --> 00:07:02,830 Now, he had the idea. 216 00:07:02,990 --> 00:07:03,990 The grand design. 217 00:07:04,365 --> 00:07:05,530 And he had all these other wallies. 218 00:07:05,550 --> 00:07:07,710 Well, like, apprentices, who'd paint in the night. 219 00:07:07,711 --> 00:07:09,471 You know, a nose, or a tree, or a bit of sky. 220 00:07:09,830 --> 00:07:11,613 But you see, they was learning, which is why 221 00:07:11,614 --> 00:07:13,851 I'm grateful to break bread with you, Arthur. 222 00:07:13,910 --> 00:07:14,750 Yeah, we're talking of bread. 223 00:07:14,910 --> 00:07:16,110 Any chance of seeing the menu? 224 00:07:16,170 --> 00:07:16,730 Sorry, sir. 225 00:07:16,810 --> 00:07:17,650 I do get on a bit, don't I? 226 00:07:17,810 --> 00:07:18,810 Mario? 227 00:07:19,230 --> 00:07:20,230 Just a bit. 228 00:07:20,650 --> 00:07:23,510 See, the trouble is, you do not understand ambition, Terence. 229 00:07:23,690 --> 00:07:26,670 The kind of advice I can give this young man, you do not get in colleges. 230 00:07:27,950 --> 00:07:31,450 Signore, I want you to make Mr. Daly a man of respect, if that's the expression. 231 00:07:31,790 --> 00:07:32,010 Ta. 232 00:07:32,410 --> 00:07:33,410 Uomo rispettato. 233 00:07:34,190 --> 00:07:34,510 Ta. 234 00:07:35,150 --> 00:07:36,150 Ater daily. 235 00:07:36,480 --> 00:07:37,690 Then I am delighted to meet you. 236 00:07:37,710 --> 00:07:39,610 Many people talk about you. 237 00:07:39,910 --> 00:07:40,910 Really? 238 00:07:41,430 --> 00:07:42,430 Ater daily. 239 00:07:43,080 --> 00:07:46,270 I would rather have you in my estorante, than Egon Rooney. 240 00:07:48,030 --> 00:07:49,030 Please, enjoy yourself. 241 00:07:51,010 --> 00:07:52,010 What a nice man. 242 00:07:52,480 --> 00:07:53,521 He's a diamond, old Mario. 243 00:07:54,370 --> 00:07:55,531 He is just as well, isn't he? 244 00:07:56,160 --> 00:07:57,641 His partner was after you a year ago. 245 00:07:57,780 --> 00:07:58,780 You sold him a Merc. 246 00:07:58,850 --> 00:07:59,270 Who? 247 00:07:59,690 --> 00:08:00,390 His partner. 248 00:08:00,490 --> 00:08:00,870 What's his name? 249 00:08:00,970 --> 00:08:01,970 Angelo. 250 00:08:02,330 --> 00:08:04,490 Yeah, the one who sent you a solicitor's letter. 251 00:08:04,830 --> 00:08:06,830 As usual, you got it all wrong, haven't you? 252 00:08:07,105 --> 00:08:09,110 That man had a little café in the Arrow Road. 253 00:08:10,170 --> 00:08:11,811 Anyway, I was like, I know it was stolen. 254 00:08:12,080 --> 00:08:13,761 Judge said I was a mere prawn in the game. 255 00:08:14,040 --> 00:08:15,510 And the jury said you were a prune. 256 00:08:15,930 --> 00:08:18,150 I still got off with a £300 fine, though, didn't I? 257 00:08:18,570 --> 00:08:19,410 See, this is it, Arthur. 258 00:08:19,490 --> 00:08:20,490 You can help me. 259 00:08:21,150 --> 00:08:22,150 You know all the dodges. 260 00:08:22,850 --> 00:08:25,530 You are a total, thorough, unmitigated rogue. 261 00:08:25,890 --> 00:08:27,011 And that's why I admire you. 262 00:08:27,130 --> 00:08:28,130 Got him in one. 263 00:08:28,790 --> 00:08:30,670 I think I'll just have the spaghetti bolognese. 264 00:08:32,105 --> 00:08:35,170 Now, I understand you've got an offer that I may have to reject. 265 00:08:35,870 --> 00:08:36,870 No, no, Arthur. 266 00:08:40,810 --> 00:08:42,450 Suddenly, I don't hear from you. 267 00:08:43,060 --> 00:08:44,410 Yeah, well, I've been busy. 268 00:08:45,190 --> 00:08:46,430 What are you talking about? 269 00:08:47,310 --> 00:08:48,590 You don't even play. 270 00:08:49,610 --> 00:08:51,530 I don't even see your name in the papers anymore. 271 00:08:52,570 --> 00:08:53,950 We had a meet last week. 272 00:08:54,470 --> 00:08:55,290 So what's going on? 273 00:08:55,310 --> 00:08:56,310 You didn't show. 274 00:08:56,720 --> 00:08:58,890 I've been very generous to you, Benno. 275 00:08:58,930 --> 00:08:59,930 Yeah? 276 00:09:00,250 --> 00:09:01,250 Who are you kidding? 277 00:09:01,625 --> 00:09:03,490 Look, most people don't want to know about you. 278 00:09:04,740 --> 00:09:05,950 But I'm a sentimentalist. 279 00:09:06,975 --> 00:09:09,090 I can remember when you was a fine player. 280 00:09:10,030 --> 00:09:11,230 How would you know? 281 00:09:11,290 --> 00:09:12,730 Don't get clever with me. 282 00:09:13,410 --> 00:09:16,670 We need to have a serious discussion about the tartan army. 283 00:09:17,450 --> 00:09:20,330 Yeah, well, I'm having negotiations with other people. 284 00:09:20,630 --> 00:09:21,630 What people? 285 00:09:22,490 --> 00:09:24,530 There are no other people. 286 00:09:25,225 --> 00:09:26,830 There's Keith Prowse and me. 287 00:09:27,440 --> 00:09:31,290 If McEnroe wants briefs for Wynwood and he comes to me, then he's playing there. 288 00:09:31,765 --> 00:09:33,645 Don't give me all that stuff about other people. 289 00:09:33,860 --> 00:09:35,226 Yeah, well, they're well connected. 290 00:09:35,250 --> 00:09:36,050 Connected with who? 291 00:09:36,170 --> 00:09:36,710 Their top men. 292 00:09:37,050 --> 00:09:38,230 What's that supposed to mean? 293 00:09:38,770 --> 00:09:40,710 They've got a sauna club in Upper Norwood. 294 00:09:40,930 --> 00:09:41,930 They've got muscle. 295 00:09:42,730 --> 00:09:44,370 You want to know about muscle? 296 00:09:46,360 --> 00:09:47,360 Well, there's Cedric. 297 00:09:48,330 --> 00:09:49,330 And a hundred more. 298 00:09:50,530 --> 00:09:51,890 Tell your friends that. 299 00:09:59,120 --> 00:10:01,850 Old Benson's got a friend who works in the office at Wembley Stadium. 300 00:10:03,250 --> 00:10:05,890 And he's going to get 2,000 tickets for the England-Scotland match. 301 00:10:06,550 --> 00:10:06,870 Nicked? 302 00:10:07,170 --> 00:10:08,170 No, no, no. 303 00:10:08,415 --> 00:10:09,575 He's got to settle the books. 304 00:10:09,690 --> 00:10:12,130 Because you know now you have to apply by post for the ticket. 305 00:10:12,460 --> 00:10:13,740 And you have to live in England. 306 00:10:13,970 --> 00:10:16,030 That's to stop the Scoties flooding the sacred turf. 307 00:10:16,490 --> 00:10:17,070 Well, that's right. 308 00:10:17,170 --> 00:10:18,766 They were going to go to race relations, weren't they? 309 00:10:18,790 --> 00:10:19,030 Yeah. 310 00:10:19,230 --> 00:10:21,070 Anyway, he ignores some of these letters. 311 00:10:21,210 --> 00:10:22,370 And this is the beauty of it. 312 00:10:22,610 --> 00:10:24,230 He's going to keep 2,000 tickets. 313 00:10:24,830 --> 00:10:25,830 I mean, it's all legal. 314 00:10:26,335 --> 00:10:28,215 They don't mind as long as they get their dough. 315 00:10:28,610 --> 00:10:31,590 So I said to old Ben, I said, there's only one person who can handle this. 316 00:10:32,170 --> 00:10:33,170 Arthur Daly. 317 00:10:33,550 --> 00:10:34,740 I said, you've got the contacts, you've got 318 00:10:34,741 --> 00:10:36,911 the muscle, and you've got the organisation. 319 00:10:37,090 --> 00:10:38,090 Sod Phil. 320 00:10:39,030 --> 00:10:40,030 How much? 321 00:10:41,190 --> 00:10:43,290 Well, so it's 2,000 tickets, eight pound each. 322 00:10:43,350 --> 00:10:44,090 That's 16 grand. 323 00:10:44,190 --> 00:10:45,670 So a drink for him, two grand. 324 00:10:45,790 --> 00:10:46,370 That's 18 grand. 325 00:10:46,670 --> 00:10:47,350 How much? 326 00:10:47,610 --> 00:10:48,010 18 grand. 327 00:10:48,011 --> 00:10:49,310 No, no, I heard what you said. 328 00:10:49,840 --> 00:10:51,040 No, I'd like to hear it again. 329 00:10:51,830 --> 00:10:53,026 Well, I mean, you treble that in a week. 330 00:10:53,050 --> 00:10:53,530 Even more. 331 00:10:54,070 --> 00:10:56,590 You want me to lend you 18 grand? 332 00:10:56,690 --> 00:10:57,390 No, no, Arthur. 333 00:10:57,430 --> 00:10:58,430 Not lend. 334 00:10:58,600 --> 00:10:59,926 I mean, it's an investment, isn't it? 335 00:10:59,950 --> 00:11:00,950 We'll split the profit. 336 00:11:01,010 --> 00:11:02,466 And obviously, you get the lion's share. 337 00:11:02,490 --> 00:11:03,650 Thank you very much, Tom. 338 00:11:03,890 --> 00:11:05,426 Well, I thought you would have grabbed it. 339 00:11:05,450 --> 00:11:06,850 It's like printing money, isn't it? 340 00:11:07,090 --> 00:11:08,510 The impetuosity of youth? 341 00:11:08,860 --> 00:11:11,410 If you want to know about wisdom, my son, suss it out first. 342 00:11:11,990 --> 00:11:14,190 When anyone offers me a bargain, I know there's a catch. 343 00:11:14,560 --> 00:11:15,600 There is no catch, honest. 344 00:11:15,850 --> 00:11:16,390 That is the catch. 345 00:11:16,510 --> 00:11:18,630 When I hear the word honest, I reach for my solicitor. 346 00:11:18,710 --> 00:11:19,710 Trust me. 347 00:11:19,950 --> 00:11:20,950 Why? 348 00:11:21,470 --> 00:11:22,470 No, you're right. 349 00:11:22,540 --> 00:11:23,540 Who needs trust? 350 00:11:23,570 --> 00:11:24,570 I'm being very naive. 351 00:11:25,020 --> 00:11:26,050 You are indeed, my son. 352 00:11:26,625 --> 00:11:27,866 But I'm learning, though, aren't I? 353 00:11:27,890 --> 00:11:30,310 I've got 2,000 tickets for the England-Scotland match. 354 00:11:31,130 --> 00:11:32,426 Have you got any contacts in Scotland? 355 00:11:32,450 --> 00:11:33,110 Of course I have. 356 00:11:33,330 --> 00:11:34,330 No, I mean big. 357 00:11:34,770 --> 00:11:35,130 Big. 358 00:11:35,150 --> 00:11:36,150 Tell him. 359 00:11:37,390 --> 00:11:38,390 What? 360 00:11:38,790 --> 00:11:40,030 Well, tell him about Big Amish. 361 00:11:40,330 --> 00:11:41,330 Him? 362 00:11:41,490 --> 00:11:42,490 Well... 363 00:11:43,490 --> 00:11:44,470 Well, he's Scottish. 364 00:11:44,510 --> 00:11:45,250 He's big. 365 00:11:45,480 --> 00:11:46,480 He's not called Jimmy. 366 00:11:46,590 --> 00:11:46,830 No. 367 00:11:47,070 --> 00:11:48,070 He's called Amish. 368 00:11:48,910 --> 00:11:49,670 He's violent. 369 00:11:49,890 --> 00:11:50,310 He's a right... 370 00:11:50,770 --> 00:11:52,290 He's a personal friend of mine. 371 00:11:52,370 --> 00:11:52,810 Top man. 372 00:11:52,970 --> 00:11:53,710 Chairman of the board. 373 00:11:53,790 --> 00:11:54,190 Know what I mean? 374 00:11:54,370 --> 00:11:54,570 Right. 375 00:11:54,690 --> 00:11:55,490 We'll phone him right now. 376 00:11:55,630 --> 00:11:56,630 Mario's got a phone. 377 00:11:57,860 --> 00:11:58,860 He's a goer, ain't he? 378 00:12:00,010 --> 00:12:01,010 18 grand? 379 00:12:01,510 --> 00:12:02,510 I think he likes you. 380 00:12:02,630 --> 00:12:03,630 Yeah. 381 00:12:03,780 --> 00:12:04,780 Some people do, you know. 382 00:12:12,560 --> 00:12:13,560 Try to help? 383 00:12:13,960 --> 00:12:15,480 You always help people, Phil. 384 00:12:16,210 --> 00:12:18,170 You don't get credit for your charity work either. 385 00:12:18,560 --> 00:12:19,000 True. 386 00:12:19,395 --> 00:12:20,915 People don't know about that, do they? 387 00:12:21,180 --> 00:12:23,220 Well, that's because you're an anonymous benefactor. 388 00:12:23,260 --> 00:12:23,700 Yeah. 389 00:12:23,740 --> 00:12:25,200 Well, I don't get the credit for it. 390 00:12:25,700 --> 00:12:27,180 I think you should get an OBE. 391 00:12:28,160 --> 00:12:31,000 Orphans and widows and bloody distressed footballers. 392 00:12:32,660 --> 00:12:33,660 Who's his pal? 393 00:12:33,960 --> 00:12:34,840 Young Justin. 394 00:12:34,980 --> 00:12:35,560 Right lemon. 395 00:12:35,760 --> 00:12:36,180 Flash kick. 396 00:12:36,460 --> 00:12:37,460 Got no formula. 397 00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:38,460 Never mind. 398 00:12:38,540 --> 00:12:39,160 Give him a pull. 399 00:12:39,280 --> 00:12:39,540 Right. 400 00:12:39,900 --> 00:12:40,340 Hey, what's up? 401 00:12:40,341 --> 00:12:42,180 Not a bad drop of verturimonia? 402 00:12:42,840 --> 00:12:44,076 You know, brandy's not bad either. 403 00:12:44,100 --> 00:12:44,420 Vert. 404 00:12:45,080 --> 00:12:45,520 Hold up. 405 00:12:45,940 --> 00:12:46,940 Well? 406 00:12:47,380 --> 00:12:47,740 Hamish. 407 00:12:47,820 --> 00:12:48,820 Yeah, sure. 408 00:12:49,340 --> 00:12:52,160 He was in the middle of his mints and totties, whatever they call it. 409 00:12:52,280 --> 00:12:52,460 Yeah, yeah. 410 00:12:52,720 --> 00:12:54,255 Well, when he's had his rhubarb and custard, 411 00:12:54,256 --> 00:12:56,017 he'll hop on here to Sydney and there you go. 412 00:12:56,100 --> 00:12:56,440 A result. 413 00:12:57,120 --> 00:12:57,480 Justine. 414 00:12:58,120 --> 00:12:59,120 Early days? 415 00:13:00,660 --> 00:13:01,660 Salad. 416 00:13:04,720 --> 00:13:05,720 You'll like Hamish. 417 00:13:06,540 --> 00:13:08,920 He's a bit of a rough diamond, but, um... 418 00:13:09,070 --> 00:13:10,070 But what? 419 00:13:10,100 --> 00:13:12,256 He's a bit of a rough diamond, but, um... He's all right. 420 00:13:12,280 --> 00:13:13,280 You'll like him. 421 00:13:13,880 --> 00:13:14,680 And Justine. 422 00:13:14,780 --> 00:13:15,980 Not too much rabbit? 423 00:13:16,320 --> 00:13:17,080 Stum, stum. 424 00:13:17,240 --> 00:13:17,840 You're the governor. 425 00:13:18,060 --> 00:13:19,060 No, you forget it. 426 00:13:19,600 --> 00:13:20,720 You booked him into a hotel? 427 00:13:21,160 --> 00:13:21,780 No. 428 00:13:21,960 --> 00:13:22,200 No. 429 00:13:22,400 --> 00:13:23,960 I thought he could kip at your drums. 430 00:13:24,480 --> 00:13:25,480 OK? 431 00:13:25,520 --> 00:13:25,920 No. 432 00:13:26,440 --> 00:13:27,480 Terence, he's a colleague. 433 00:13:28,060 --> 00:13:29,060 He growls. 434 00:13:29,180 --> 00:13:30,180 You what? 435 00:13:30,380 --> 00:13:31,780 He growls and he mutters. 436 00:13:32,060 --> 00:13:33,060 And then he attacks. 437 00:13:33,500 --> 00:13:35,280 I had three fights the last time he was down. 438 00:13:37,160 --> 00:13:38,160 That's the one, innit? 439 00:13:38,560 --> 00:13:39,560 Platform seven. 440 00:13:39,620 --> 00:13:40,020 Yeah. 441 00:13:40,060 --> 00:13:40,280 Yeah. 442 00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:40,660 OK, I'll see you after. 443 00:13:40,661 --> 00:13:40,940 I'll see you after. 444 00:13:41,420 --> 00:13:42,420 See you. 445 00:13:47,400 --> 00:13:47,920 Is that him? 446 00:13:48,120 --> 00:13:49,120 Where? 447 00:13:49,700 --> 00:13:50,080 There. 448 00:13:50,560 --> 00:13:51,600 He looks sort of growler. 449 00:13:51,860 --> 00:13:52,860 He's big enough. 450 00:13:54,340 --> 00:13:55,480 Where is he? 451 00:13:57,660 --> 00:13:58,760 Are you Mr. Daly? 452 00:13:58,880 --> 00:14:00,360 Don't creep up on me like that. 453 00:14:00,620 --> 00:14:01,620 I'm very fussy. 454 00:14:01,740 --> 00:14:02,740 Hamish couldn't come. 455 00:14:03,060 --> 00:14:04,060 I'm the open razor. 456 00:14:04,340 --> 00:14:04,720 What? 457 00:14:05,140 --> 00:14:05,520 Razor. 458 00:14:05,860 --> 00:14:06,900 You can call me Alasdair. 459 00:14:07,020 --> 00:14:07,780 Nice to meet you, Arthur. 460 00:14:08,020 --> 00:14:09,460 Nice to meet a friend of Hamish. 461 00:14:09,660 --> 00:14:11,980 I'm afraid your man is unavoidably indisposed. 462 00:14:12,060 --> 00:14:12,720 He's in the hospital. 463 00:14:13,080 --> 00:14:13,460 Never. 464 00:14:13,680 --> 00:14:13,780 What? 465 00:14:13,800 --> 00:14:14,100 What's he got? 466 00:14:14,380 --> 00:14:17,920 Two broken legs, broken wrist, dislocated shoulder, multiple cuts and abrasions. 467 00:14:18,240 --> 00:14:19,240 Dear. 468 00:14:19,500 --> 00:14:20,500 Street accident? 469 00:14:20,760 --> 00:14:21,160 Aye. 470 00:14:21,360 --> 00:14:22,460 It was in the street. 471 00:14:23,180 --> 00:14:24,420 Is this your wee gang, then? 472 00:14:24,980 --> 00:14:25,980 Well, it's Terry. 473 00:14:26,800 --> 00:14:27,800 Justine. 474 00:14:27,960 --> 00:14:30,080 Hamish says you're a good man to do business with. 475 00:14:30,240 --> 00:14:30,400 You know. 476 00:14:31,160 --> 00:14:32,160 You're my own road. 477 00:14:32,320 --> 00:14:33,320 You're what? 478 00:14:34,900 --> 00:14:36,200 I'm not talking to the top man. 479 00:14:36,360 --> 00:14:36,880 He's met them all. 480 00:14:37,020 --> 00:14:37,540 Jewel Draft. 481 00:14:37,700 --> 00:14:38,720 Murder Incorporated. 482 00:14:38,900 --> 00:14:40,960 He is nationwide, coast to coast. 483 00:14:41,080 --> 00:14:43,100 You ain't talking to some little gauble stairway now. 484 00:14:43,101 --> 00:14:44,480 This is Harper Daly. 485 00:14:44,640 --> 00:14:45,000 Capisce? 486 00:14:45,580 --> 00:14:46,580 Who is he? 487 00:14:47,020 --> 00:14:48,020 He's with me. 488 00:14:48,180 --> 00:14:48,900 OK, chaps. 489 00:14:49,060 --> 00:14:50,120 You're marking my card. 490 00:14:50,180 --> 00:14:50,460 Fine. 491 00:14:50,780 --> 00:14:51,180 That's right. 492 00:14:51,420 --> 00:14:54,280 I mean, here we were, ready to welcome old Hamish, coughing and growling and 493 00:14:54,281 --> 00:14:56,201 spitting, and you turn up in the Alan Wick again. 494 00:14:56,420 --> 00:14:57,716 I mean, we just got to adjust, didn't we? 495 00:14:57,740 --> 00:14:57,840 Yeah. 496 00:14:57,900 --> 00:14:58,900 Thank you, Justine. 497 00:14:58,960 --> 00:15:00,480 Well, I mean, it's his attitude, ain't it? 498 00:15:00,500 --> 00:15:01,740 I mean, it's a seller's market. 499 00:15:02,720 --> 00:15:04,820 I'm booked into the Haldi Inn, Swiss Cottage. 500 00:15:04,940 --> 00:15:06,200 You know the way, Mr. Daly? 501 00:15:06,400 --> 00:15:07,400 Yeah, yeah. 502 00:15:07,800 --> 00:15:08,160 See? 503 00:15:08,520 --> 00:15:09,760 He don't growl, do he? 504 00:15:10,560 --> 00:15:11,560 Not yet. 505 00:15:12,660 --> 00:15:13,740 You know the way, Mr. Daly? 506 00:15:28,320 --> 00:15:29,600 You mean we ain't on the firm? 507 00:15:30,280 --> 00:15:31,280 Apparently not, no. 508 00:15:31,540 --> 00:15:32,980 It's all high finance now, ain't it? 509 00:15:33,445 --> 00:15:35,205 Well, he ain't going to stitch us up, is he? 510 00:15:35,660 --> 00:15:36,660 Who's us? 511 00:15:36,900 --> 00:15:37,900 Me and Benson. 512 00:15:38,130 --> 00:15:39,186 I mean, he is honest, ain't he? 513 00:15:39,210 --> 00:15:40,210 The great man. 514 00:15:40,340 --> 00:15:41,340 No. 515 00:15:42,290 --> 00:15:43,290 Now you tell me. 516 00:15:43,560 --> 00:15:44,800 Well, work it out for yourself. 517 00:15:45,330 --> 00:15:47,170 He's been around a long time, Arthur, ain't he? 518 00:15:47,290 --> 00:15:48,490 He knows the worth of a pound. 519 00:15:49,320 --> 00:15:50,716 Anyway, I don't know what you're going on about. 520 00:15:50,740 --> 00:15:52,420 I mean, you had nothing yesterday, did you? 521 00:15:52,750 --> 00:15:54,136 And tomorrow, you might have a few, Bob. 522 00:15:54,160 --> 00:15:55,160 Fair enough, ain't it? 523 00:15:55,840 --> 00:15:56,840 Yeah, I suppose so. 524 00:15:58,550 --> 00:15:59,990 Well, I wouldn't worry about Arthur. 525 00:16:00,540 --> 00:16:02,620 It's the other bloke you should start thinking about. 526 00:16:04,390 --> 00:16:05,656 Well, that's a bit steep, Arthur. 527 00:16:05,680 --> 00:16:06,680 35 grand. 528 00:16:07,360 --> 00:16:07,900 That's what? 529 00:16:07,980 --> 00:16:10,540 About 17 pounds 50 pence per ticket. 530 00:16:10,800 --> 00:16:11,180 Yeah. 531 00:16:11,430 --> 00:16:12,430 Steep, Arthur, steep. 532 00:16:12,680 --> 00:16:13,776 My people wouldn't like that. 533 00:16:13,800 --> 00:16:15,240 Well, you've still got handy profit. 534 00:16:15,360 --> 00:16:17,956 I mean, them jocks, some of them, they'd commit murder to get a ticket. 535 00:16:17,980 --> 00:16:18,980 Aye. 536 00:16:19,160 --> 00:16:20,160 They would. 537 00:16:20,340 --> 00:16:22,580 Well, that was a figure of speech, obviously. 538 00:16:22,880 --> 00:16:23,880 No. 539 00:16:24,465 --> 00:16:25,745 You got it right the first time. 540 00:16:26,270 --> 00:16:28,310 Yeah, well, they do like their football, don't they? 541 00:16:29,740 --> 00:16:32,420 Just for a second, let's forget about the tickets. 542 00:16:33,450 --> 00:16:36,720 I just want you to concentrate on the logistics of the big game, yes? 543 00:16:38,770 --> 00:16:42,364 Let's say that 10,000 or maybe 20,000 people, 544 00:16:42,365 --> 00:16:46,001 punters, are converging on Wembley from Scotland. 545 00:16:47,110 --> 00:16:50,840 Let us assume that each punter has in his pocket 100 pounds. 546 00:16:51,240 --> 00:16:52,440 That's a liberal assessment. 547 00:16:53,340 --> 00:16:54,700 This is an army on the move. 548 00:16:55,440 --> 00:16:59,220 100 pounds times 10,000 equals one million. 549 00:16:59,580 --> 00:17:00,800 A million, Arthur. 550 00:17:01,430 --> 00:17:02,430 I'm giving you that. 551 00:17:02,790 --> 00:17:05,110 All you've got to do is get the money out of their pockets. 552 00:17:05,410 --> 00:17:07,650 From the moment they cross the border, they're fair game. 553 00:17:08,400 --> 00:17:12,460 They've got to be fed, sheltered, and, more importantly, refreshed. 554 00:17:13,860 --> 00:17:15,420 It's a remarkable prospect, is it not? 555 00:17:15,880 --> 00:17:16,420 Yeah. 556 00:17:16,600 --> 00:17:17,600 Yeah, it is. 557 00:17:18,760 --> 00:17:19,760 Tickets. 558 00:17:21,240 --> 00:17:22,240 How's your glass, Arthur? 559 00:17:23,130 --> 00:17:25,480 Well, yeah, I could have a drop. 560 00:17:28,030 --> 00:17:30,100 Tickets are a mere bagatelle. 561 00:17:31,050 --> 00:17:33,800 A drop in the limitless ocean which I have pictured for you. 562 00:17:34,850 --> 00:17:36,360 I am suggesting a huge exercise. 563 00:17:36,965 --> 00:17:37,965 A major operation. 564 00:17:38,220 --> 00:17:39,220 See Hamish. 565 00:17:39,620 --> 00:17:40,620 He was a small man. 566 00:17:41,240 --> 00:17:42,940 The days of the wild men are over. 567 00:17:43,655 --> 00:17:45,175 The world is ruled by accountants now. 568 00:17:45,710 --> 00:17:47,520 And a few entrepreneurs like yourself. 569 00:17:48,310 --> 00:17:49,310 Do I assume like you? 570 00:17:49,380 --> 00:17:50,540 I'm talking to an accountant. 571 00:17:51,400 --> 00:17:52,560 You've got it in one, Arthur. 572 00:17:54,350 --> 00:17:56,320 We want to get together an attractive package. 573 00:17:57,570 --> 00:17:58,280 Two nights in London. 574 00:17:58,540 --> 00:17:59,580 A decent bed. 575 00:18:00,180 --> 00:18:01,180 Continental breakfast. 576 00:18:02,060 --> 00:18:03,260 A couple of hand-picked clubs. 577 00:18:03,380 --> 00:18:05,580 And a ticket for the game. 578 00:18:06,680 --> 00:18:08,740 People will pawn their videos to get to Wembley. 579 00:18:09,260 --> 00:18:10,900 At least let's make it worth their while. 580 00:18:11,300 --> 00:18:12,400 A weekend to remember? 581 00:18:12,560 --> 00:18:13,560 I like it. 582 00:18:13,650 --> 00:18:14,810 In fact, I'm very fond of it. 583 00:18:14,905 --> 00:18:18,700 Hey, a pal of mine has got 3,000 autographed photographs of Charlie Nicholas. 584 00:18:18,701 --> 00:18:20,800 I mean, that would make a good souvenir, wouldn't it? 585 00:18:21,850 --> 00:18:22,850 Why not, Arthur? 586 00:18:23,350 --> 00:18:24,590 You're the kind of guy we need. 587 00:18:24,990 --> 00:18:25,990 You know this city. 588 00:18:26,610 --> 00:18:27,730 We can guarantee the bodies. 589 00:18:28,370 --> 00:18:29,650 All you have to do is bury them. 590 00:18:29,965 --> 00:18:32,020 Are you suggesting a partnership? 591 00:18:32,720 --> 00:18:33,720 That's it. 592 00:18:34,240 --> 00:18:36,760 Mind you, I still have to see other people. 593 00:18:37,180 --> 00:18:38,180 Well, like who? 594 00:18:38,990 --> 00:18:40,190 Do you know a man called Phil? 595 00:18:40,490 --> 00:18:41,500 Yeah, yeah. 596 00:18:41,830 --> 00:18:44,230 Yeah, Phil's all right if you want to go to the Royal Ballet. 597 00:18:44,280 --> 00:18:46,800 But if you want breeze for England, Scotland, I'm your man. 598 00:18:47,400 --> 00:18:48,160 We've worked with him before. 599 00:18:48,161 --> 00:18:50,320 He says he can get any amount of tickets. 600 00:18:50,540 --> 00:18:50,840 Does he? 601 00:18:51,100 --> 00:18:51,700 All right. 602 00:18:51,780 --> 00:18:52,780 Yeah. 603 00:18:52,880 --> 00:18:53,880 Phil's a dreamer. 604 00:18:54,030 --> 00:18:55,550 He don't realize that I've taken over. 605 00:18:56,900 --> 00:18:58,140 I like your confidence, Arthur. 606 00:18:59,500 --> 00:19:01,189 Are you ready to go to Glasgow, put the tickets 607 00:19:01,190 --> 00:19:03,001 on the table, meet my associates, shake hands? 608 00:19:03,640 --> 00:19:05,660 Um, well, there are one or two details. 609 00:19:05,800 --> 00:19:06,800 In principle, I mean. 610 00:19:07,150 --> 00:19:08,310 Yeah, yeah, in principle. 611 00:19:08,440 --> 00:19:09,440 And Glasgow? 612 00:19:10,120 --> 00:19:11,120 Maybe tomorrow? 613 00:19:12,080 --> 00:19:13,080 Glasgow? 614 00:19:13,500 --> 00:19:14,740 The natives are quite friendly. 615 00:19:15,360 --> 00:19:16,360 Yeah? 616 00:19:34,020 --> 00:19:35,020 What's he doing? 617 00:19:38,410 --> 00:19:39,410 We're over here. 618 00:19:39,830 --> 00:19:40,830 Arthur. 619 00:19:51,640 --> 00:19:52,980 Sometimes I worry about him. 620 00:19:57,120 --> 00:19:58,120 Where's he going? 621 00:20:01,420 --> 00:20:02,420 Hey, what are you doing? 622 00:20:03,720 --> 00:20:04,860 Thinking, thinking. 623 00:20:05,090 --> 00:20:06,640 You know, oiling the old grain matter. 624 00:20:07,920 --> 00:20:08,920 Considering things. 625 00:20:09,700 --> 00:20:10,916 Come on, you can do that in a motor, can't you? 626 00:20:10,940 --> 00:20:11,900 No, no, no, it's not the same. 627 00:20:11,940 --> 00:20:14,080 And young Justin giving me GBA for the year olds. 628 00:20:17,100 --> 00:20:18,560 I've never seen you think before. 629 00:20:18,561 --> 00:20:19,561 Don't scoff. 630 00:20:20,230 --> 00:20:21,310 This is a command decision. 631 00:20:21,380 --> 00:20:22,580 You don't have these problems. 632 00:20:22,880 --> 00:20:25,476 Have you ever put your hand in your pocket and come out with 18 grand? 633 00:20:25,500 --> 00:20:26,500 Of course not. 634 00:20:26,640 --> 00:20:28,160 It's beyond your experience, isn't it? 635 00:20:29,940 --> 00:20:31,316 I've had a poor buddy in them revenue. 636 00:20:31,340 --> 00:20:32,100 Yeah, what is that? 637 00:20:32,240 --> 00:20:33,240 Two bob. 638 00:20:33,510 --> 00:20:35,590 They'd probably owe you if you play your cards right. 639 00:20:36,360 --> 00:20:37,680 No, I'm talking about real money. 640 00:20:38,460 --> 00:20:39,200 Well, have you got it? 641 00:20:39,400 --> 00:20:40,400 Of course I have. 642 00:20:41,120 --> 00:20:42,120 But that's not the point. 643 00:20:42,610 --> 00:20:43,660 My money is tied up. 644 00:20:44,635 --> 00:20:45,676 Well, can't you get it out of the bank? 645 00:20:45,700 --> 00:20:46,600 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 646 00:20:46,710 --> 00:20:47,580 Hello, Mr. Bank Manager. 647 00:20:47,581 --> 00:20:49,600 I've got 2,000 aughty football tickets. 648 00:20:50,450 --> 00:20:52,340 Hardly a kitchen extension or a new roof, is it? 649 00:20:53,160 --> 00:20:54,260 I've got a sold of tickets. 650 00:20:55,035 --> 00:20:56,355 I've been borrowing my own dough. 651 00:20:57,160 --> 00:20:59,280 And what happens if Alistair's pals don't want to buy? 652 00:20:59,490 --> 00:21:02,160 Well, supposing they do, and we get hijacked on the way back? 653 00:21:02,580 --> 00:21:02,980 Hijacked? 654 00:21:03,020 --> 00:21:03,120 Yeah. 655 00:21:03,620 --> 00:21:04,620 Anything could happen. 656 00:21:05,420 --> 00:21:05,820 Earthquake. 657 00:21:05,900 --> 00:21:06,340 Do what? 658 00:21:06,880 --> 00:21:08,560 What has happened to Amish the Growler? 659 00:21:09,340 --> 00:21:10,040 I don't know. 660 00:21:10,170 --> 00:21:11,170 No, nobody knows. 661 00:21:11,220 --> 00:21:13,340 Which is why I'm schlepping around the environs of... 662 00:21:13,900 --> 00:21:14,640 Where are we? 663 00:21:14,800 --> 00:21:15,500 Swiss Cottage. 664 00:21:15,580 --> 00:21:15,760 Yeah. 665 00:21:16,260 --> 00:21:17,260 Thinking. 666 00:21:17,360 --> 00:21:18,760 So just, just, just leave me alone. 667 00:21:20,420 --> 00:21:21,300 Well, do you want us to wait, then? 668 00:21:21,420 --> 00:21:21,860 Well, obviously. 669 00:21:22,080 --> 00:21:23,520 I won't be thinking all day, will I? 670 00:21:24,480 --> 00:21:25,480 Shouldn't think so. 671 00:21:44,910 --> 00:21:46,140 Is, er, Justin about? 672 00:21:46,560 --> 00:21:47,680 Yeah, but he's in bed. 673 00:21:47,780 --> 00:21:48,180 Are you? 674 00:21:48,340 --> 00:21:48,660 Please? 675 00:21:48,980 --> 00:21:49,740 No, not me, love. 676 00:21:49,820 --> 00:21:50,760 I'm a friend of Justin's. 677 00:21:50,761 --> 00:21:51,400 Me and Steve Benson. 678 00:21:51,660 --> 00:21:52,660 I'll give him a call. 679 00:21:52,960 --> 00:21:53,280 Justin! 680 00:21:53,960 --> 00:21:54,640 It's for you! 681 00:21:54,960 --> 00:21:56,316 He's like Rick and Morty, isn't he? 682 00:21:56,340 --> 00:21:57,340 I'm late for work, love. 683 00:21:57,400 --> 00:21:58,600 Look, don't worry, Mrs. James. 684 00:21:58,680 --> 00:21:59,420 I'll give him your eye. 685 00:21:59,600 --> 00:22:00,060 Will you? 686 00:22:00,080 --> 00:22:00,940 Because I'm going to miss my bus. 687 00:22:01,040 --> 00:22:01,780 Thanks very much. 688 00:22:01,781 --> 00:22:02,120 Shut up. 689 00:22:02,200 --> 00:22:03,200 See you, love. 690 00:22:20,990 --> 00:22:22,730 All you poncies lay in bed all day. 691 00:22:23,230 --> 00:22:24,230 Look at you. 692 00:22:24,820 --> 00:22:26,370 And your poor mum has to go to work. 693 00:22:26,750 --> 00:22:27,230 Who are you? 694 00:22:27,630 --> 00:22:28,630 Who am I? 695 00:22:29,035 --> 00:22:30,490 I get up early in the morning, son. 696 00:22:31,210 --> 00:22:32,490 And then I start hitting people. 697 00:22:33,495 --> 00:22:34,495 I work for old Phil. 698 00:22:35,180 --> 00:22:36,210 I bet you don't work. 699 00:22:36,990 --> 00:22:37,990 I'm self-employed. 700 00:22:38,070 --> 00:22:38,550 Yeah. 701 00:22:38,680 --> 00:22:39,680 What, as a thief? 702 00:22:40,040 --> 00:22:41,650 You're thieving my livelihood, son. 703 00:22:42,550 --> 00:22:44,370 I mean, Benson tells me you're a go-between. 704 00:22:44,371 --> 00:22:46,070 And each week, the missing link. 705 00:22:47,050 --> 00:22:48,050 He don't know who he is. 706 00:22:48,770 --> 00:22:49,770 You tell me, who is he? 707 00:22:50,930 --> 00:22:51,930 Numero uno. 708 00:22:52,430 --> 00:22:53,430 Who's he? 709 00:22:54,290 --> 00:22:55,290 He's going to steal you. 710 00:22:56,070 --> 00:22:57,070 And your governor. 711 00:22:57,930 --> 00:22:59,330 I'll tell you what I'm going to do. 712 00:23:00,020 --> 00:23:02,250 I'm going to smother you with your puffy quilts. 713 00:23:02,290 --> 00:23:04,290 If I told you, you'd be out of here in two seconds. 714 00:23:05,250 --> 00:23:06,250 Try me. 715 00:23:07,670 --> 00:23:08,670 Arthur Daly. 716 00:23:09,250 --> 00:23:10,250 Arthur Daly. 717 00:23:11,230 --> 00:23:11,590 See? 718 00:23:11,810 --> 00:23:13,050 You're worried now, aren't you? 719 00:23:13,460 --> 00:23:14,350 Yeah, it looks like I'm going to be working. 720 00:23:14,351 --> 00:23:15,351 I'm going to wet myself. 721 00:23:15,430 --> 00:23:16,790 You wouldn't say that to his face. 722 00:23:17,130 --> 00:23:18,130 Why not? 723 00:23:19,230 --> 00:23:20,230 Because you wouldn't. 724 00:23:20,870 --> 00:23:21,870 I would, son. 725 00:23:22,850 --> 00:23:24,290 To him and his punch-drunk pal. 726 00:23:24,950 --> 00:23:25,950 And all his relatives. 727 00:23:26,030 --> 00:23:28,350 His creditors who are many and his debtors who are few. 728 00:23:28,650 --> 00:23:29,650 The whole lot. 729 00:23:31,090 --> 00:23:31,490 Yeah? 730 00:23:31,491 --> 00:23:32,491 Yeah. 731 00:23:33,110 --> 00:23:34,350 And you better believe it, kid. 732 00:23:35,830 --> 00:23:38,850 Now, why don't you be a good boy and tell me all about it? 733 00:23:39,900 --> 00:23:41,020 What's all this about, Theo? 734 00:23:41,210 --> 00:23:42,210 Well, it's a graph. 735 00:23:42,670 --> 00:23:44,010 Assets, capital, deposits. 736 00:23:44,650 --> 00:23:45,770 To keep the customers happy. 737 00:23:45,930 --> 00:23:47,050 Yeah, but what does it mean? 738 00:23:47,650 --> 00:23:48,650 I don't know. 739 00:23:49,210 --> 00:23:50,210 Looks good, doesn't it? 740 00:23:50,330 --> 00:23:50,610 Brilliant. 741 00:23:51,045 --> 00:23:52,605 I went to another place of yours first. 742 00:23:52,670 --> 00:23:53,670 The bank. 743 00:23:53,720 --> 00:23:54,750 No, not any more. 744 00:23:55,685 --> 00:23:57,085 Only run a bank for a year, Arthur. 745 00:23:57,230 --> 00:23:58,670 Otherwise the fraud squad gets busy. 746 00:23:59,380 --> 00:24:01,230 It's a property company now. 747 00:24:01,650 --> 00:24:02,650 Timeshare. 748 00:24:03,360 --> 00:24:06,190 You don't want an apartment in a baronial castle in Wales, do you? 749 00:24:06,470 --> 00:24:06,910 Whereabouts? 750 00:24:07,250 --> 00:24:08,250 We don't know yet. 751 00:24:08,950 --> 00:24:09,950 Take a pew. 752 00:24:15,200 --> 00:24:16,980 I hope you don't want a mortgage, do you? 753 00:24:17,220 --> 00:24:17,660 No. 754 00:24:17,870 --> 00:24:20,500 Tell me, is this a good earner? 755 00:24:20,720 --> 00:24:21,200 Good? 756 00:24:21,740 --> 00:24:22,740 I'll tell you what. 757 00:24:22,900 --> 00:24:26,120 It's going so well, I'm thinking of turning it into an honest business. 758 00:24:26,480 --> 00:24:26,820 Never. 759 00:24:27,360 --> 00:24:28,360 Not really. 760 00:24:28,700 --> 00:24:30,965 But you see, and you know this for yourself, 761 00:24:30,966 --> 00:24:33,401 there are those who take and those who are taken. 762 00:24:33,520 --> 00:24:34,520 It's all greed. 763 00:24:35,790 --> 00:24:37,680 Now, we offer a good rate of interest. 764 00:24:37,880 --> 00:24:38,880 We're competitive. 765 00:24:39,300 --> 00:24:40,300 We're leading the field. 766 00:24:41,180 --> 00:24:42,477 If the other societies have to put up their 767 00:24:42,478 --> 00:24:44,701 rates, that's to the good of the public, isn't it? 768 00:24:44,980 --> 00:24:45,980 Yeah, I suppose so. 769 00:24:46,550 --> 00:24:48,140 But you don't pay out. 770 00:24:48,590 --> 00:24:50,280 That's something different, Arthur. 771 00:24:50,340 --> 00:24:51,640 I'm talking about the principle. 772 00:24:52,650 --> 00:24:54,460 We give good value, you see. 773 00:24:54,760 --> 00:24:55,760 Yes, I believe. 774 00:24:56,160 --> 00:25:00,500 And I understand you're financing some projects. 775 00:25:01,720 --> 00:25:03,900 You do understand that this is not an investigation. 776 00:25:04,000 --> 00:25:05,720 I'm trying to elicit information. 777 00:25:07,280 --> 00:25:10,240 The thing is, we've lost track of you, Mr. McCann. 778 00:25:11,540 --> 00:25:12,540 Really? 779 00:25:13,970 --> 00:25:15,940 How would you describe your occupation? 780 00:25:18,150 --> 00:25:19,276 Well, it's tricky, really, isn't it? 781 00:25:19,300 --> 00:25:20,940 I mean, it's just odds and ends, you know. 782 00:25:21,480 --> 00:25:22,480 Self-employed? 783 00:25:22,900 --> 00:25:23,900 Well, I get by. 784 00:25:25,220 --> 00:25:26,220 Freelance, right? 785 00:25:27,100 --> 00:25:28,100 I don't know. 786 00:25:29,040 --> 00:25:31,200 What I'm trying to get at is your income. 787 00:25:31,470 --> 00:25:32,860 You know, haphazard, it may be. 788 00:25:33,300 --> 00:25:34,536 No, well, that's the word, actually. 789 00:25:34,560 --> 00:25:35,120 I'd use that. 790 00:25:35,180 --> 00:25:36,180 Um, haphazard. 791 00:25:36,840 --> 00:25:37,840 I don't know. 792 00:25:40,420 --> 00:25:41,900 I'd say we'd better try another tack. 793 00:25:42,460 --> 00:25:42,780 Um... 794 00:25:43,480 --> 00:25:46,380 You haven't got a P-A-Y-E code number. 795 00:25:46,700 --> 00:25:47,700 What's that? 796 00:25:48,120 --> 00:25:49,120 Precisely. 797 00:25:49,355 --> 00:25:50,475 Well, ignore that, then. 798 00:25:53,800 --> 00:25:54,800 Unemployment benefit. 799 00:25:56,150 --> 00:25:57,780 Social security supplementary benefit. 800 00:25:59,550 --> 00:26:03,900 You don't contribute to national insurance, or, as we used to call it, 801 00:26:04,040 --> 00:26:05,800 um, stamping your cards. 802 00:26:06,100 --> 00:26:07,100 No, no. 803 00:26:07,845 --> 00:26:11,780 Mortgage, H.P., credit card, pension, pension fund. 804 00:26:15,130 --> 00:26:16,400 You've cracked it, haven't you? 805 00:26:17,740 --> 00:26:18,740 Beg your pardon? 806 00:26:19,580 --> 00:26:20,580 The system. 807 00:26:21,570 --> 00:26:22,800 You haven't got a number. 808 00:26:23,610 --> 00:26:24,720 You're not a statistic. 809 00:26:25,120 --> 00:26:26,120 You're a... 810 00:26:26,540 --> 00:26:27,780 a spirit, a specter. 811 00:26:27,970 --> 00:26:29,050 They hardly know about you. 812 00:26:30,160 --> 00:26:31,760 Where were you when they did the census? 813 00:26:31,900 --> 00:26:32,900 I was out. 814 00:26:33,350 --> 00:26:34,350 I'll bet you were. 815 00:26:38,120 --> 00:26:39,170 Thank you, Helga. 816 00:26:39,171 --> 00:26:40,171 Helga. 817 00:26:44,940 --> 00:26:46,100 They're amazing, aren't they? 818 00:26:46,790 --> 00:26:48,750 The best legs in the Department of Inland Revenue. 819 00:26:49,920 --> 00:26:51,000 Not a bad typist, either. 820 00:26:52,710 --> 00:26:54,300 You know what you are, Mr. McCann? 821 00:26:55,060 --> 00:26:56,060 The invisible man. 822 00:26:56,930 --> 00:26:57,930 Where is your identity? 823 00:26:59,010 --> 00:27:00,210 What happens if we have a war? 824 00:27:00,300 --> 00:27:01,300 You're dodged. 825 00:27:02,560 --> 00:27:04,700 We've been after you for seven years. 826 00:27:05,190 --> 00:27:07,030 During that period, you must have had some job. 827 00:27:07,610 --> 00:27:08,760 Well, let me put it like this. 828 00:27:08,761 --> 00:27:10,480 I mean, take last week, for example, right? 829 00:27:11,400 --> 00:27:12,980 Two nights, I was minding a boozer. 830 00:27:13,000 --> 00:27:15,096 They thought there might be a bit of bother, you know. 831 00:27:15,120 --> 00:27:18,060 Well, for that, I got 15 quid a night, a couple of sandwiches and a beer. 832 00:27:18,770 --> 00:27:20,890 I mean, you don't need an accountant for that, do you? 833 00:27:20,920 --> 00:27:21,740 What are you saying? 834 00:27:21,880 --> 00:27:24,580 Are you a kind of itinerant bodyguard? 835 00:27:25,220 --> 00:27:25,820 Well, yeah. 836 00:27:25,880 --> 00:27:27,140 Sort of a job man, you know. 837 00:27:31,580 --> 00:27:32,580 Daily. 838 00:27:35,940 --> 00:27:36,940 Daily. 839 00:27:37,570 --> 00:27:38,570 Does that mean anything? 840 00:27:39,240 --> 00:27:40,240 Sorry, what was the name? 841 00:27:41,060 --> 00:27:42,060 Money's the game, Arthur. 842 00:27:42,695 --> 00:27:45,194 Now, my lips are sealed, but four characters 843 00:27:45,195 --> 00:27:48,001 who hadn't two bob between them put up a scheme. 844 00:27:48,780 --> 00:27:50,380 Have you got any collateral, I asked. 845 00:27:51,030 --> 00:27:52,030 A safe vault, they said. 846 00:27:52,520 --> 00:27:55,740 Well, you couldn't get any better collateral than that, could you? 847 00:27:56,935 --> 00:28:01,080 They wanted 12 grand for the laser welding equipment and the protective clothing. 848 00:28:02,110 --> 00:28:03,550 A first-class investment, I thought. 849 00:28:03,970 --> 00:28:05,570 As it was, I got it back in three weeks. 850 00:28:06,140 --> 00:28:07,380 Right, now what's your problem? 851 00:28:07,640 --> 00:28:08,640 Wembley, tickets. 852 00:28:08,750 --> 00:28:09,750 England, Scotland. 853 00:28:10,770 --> 00:28:12,760 And I do not need any welding equipment. 854 00:28:13,960 --> 00:28:14,960 Okay. 855 00:28:15,940 --> 00:28:17,380 Three and a quarter percent per day. 856 00:28:18,200 --> 00:28:19,380 Five percent for three days. 857 00:28:19,890 --> 00:28:21,010 That's a bit strong, Arthur. 858 00:28:21,360 --> 00:28:22,676 Well, I'm not gonna knock you, am I? 859 00:28:22,700 --> 00:28:23,700 It's never been known. 860 00:28:24,600 --> 00:28:26,160 One way or another, we always get paid. 861 00:28:26,460 --> 00:28:27,120 No, no, Theo. 862 00:28:27,390 --> 00:28:28,390 We are friends. 863 00:28:29,220 --> 00:28:30,760 No, Arthur, we are acquaintances. 864 00:28:32,650 --> 00:28:35,920 Three percent for 48 hours, and then three and a quarter per day. 865 00:28:36,880 --> 00:28:37,880 Okay. 866 00:28:40,550 --> 00:28:42,400 Yes, Mr. Daly. 867 00:28:43,390 --> 00:28:45,300 Apparently, you're his gardener. 868 00:28:45,920 --> 00:28:46,920 His what? 869 00:28:47,120 --> 00:28:48,120 Gardener. 870 00:28:48,380 --> 00:28:49,380 As in Percy Thrower. 871 00:28:50,100 --> 00:28:51,260 He was unavailable that week. 872 00:28:51,830 --> 00:28:53,310 He hadn't even got a bleeding garden. 873 00:28:53,520 --> 00:28:54,520 Really? 874 00:28:56,590 --> 00:28:59,120 No, no, but mind you, he has got a very big balcony. 875 00:29:00,280 --> 00:29:04,160 Yeah, he likes daffodils and Busy Liz's, things like that. 876 00:29:04,180 --> 00:29:05,680 He likes all the cultural... 877 00:29:05,920 --> 00:29:06,920 things, you know. 878 00:29:07,680 --> 00:29:08,980 Minding the flowers? 879 00:29:09,300 --> 00:29:09,740 That's it. 880 00:29:09,840 --> 00:29:10,320 You got it in one. 881 00:29:10,420 --> 00:29:11,420 Yeah. 882 00:29:12,330 --> 00:29:14,500 Um, how much do I get? 883 00:29:15,480 --> 00:29:16,480 Let's have a look. 884 00:29:17,940 --> 00:29:18,940 Yes. 885 00:29:19,000 --> 00:29:21,160 The financial year, April 1982. 886 00:29:22,320 --> 00:29:23,320 1,500 pounds. 887 00:29:24,740 --> 00:29:26,940 That's more or less 30 pounds a week. 888 00:29:27,500 --> 00:29:28,580 It's creeping up, isn't it? 889 00:29:29,660 --> 00:29:32,660 What with the occasional stint at a boozer and other odds and ends. 890 00:29:33,490 --> 00:29:35,210 Suddenly you find you're liable to pay tax. 891 00:29:36,855 --> 00:29:40,260 Unless you want to say that Mr. Daly is falsifying his claims and books. 892 00:29:40,650 --> 00:29:42,440 Now, look, what did you call me earlier? 893 00:29:43,135 --> 00:29:44,335 An itinerant bodyguard, right? 894 00:29:45,370 --> 00:29:49,640 Well, sometimes I double up as a sort of freelance troubleshooter gardener. 895 00:29:53,920 --> 00:29:55,160 Bit long enough, weren't you? 896 00:29:55,340 --> 00:29:55,900 Was I? 897 00:29:56,290 --> 00:29:57,690 This is a very important day today. 898 00:29:57,870 --> 00:29:59,180 I put my life on the line. 899 00:29:59,840 --> 00:30:00,420 Clothesline, was it? 900 00:30:00,660 --> 00:30:01,660 In the garden. 901 00:30:02,725 --> 00:30:03,925 Give us a large whiskey, mate. 902 00:30:04,210 --> 00:30:05,210 You don't drink whiskey. 903 00:30:05,380 --> 00:30:06,900 No, I tell you what, make it a treble. 904 00:30:07,400 --> 00:30:08,420 No, no, we've got no time for that. 905 00:30:08,440 --> 00:30:09,480 We're on a tight schedule. 906 00:30:09,760 --> 00:30:11,300 Now, does your garden grow? 907 00:30:11,845 --> 00:30:13,140 You owe me 1,500 sauce. 908 00:30:14,090 --> 00:30:15,170 What are you talking about? 909 00:30:15,790 --> 00:30:16,980 Your trusty old retainer. 910 00:30:17,730 --> 00:30:19,900 Me, the one with manure on his wellies, the gardener. 911 00:30:20,095 --> 00:30:22,106 And you've been a bit too clever this time, Sunshine. 912 00:30:22,130 --> 00:30:23,130 You've been sussed. 913 00:30:24,000 --> 00:30:25,080 Well, come on, pay the man. 914 00:30:26,840 --> 00:30:27,160 Ta. 915 00:30:27,340 --> 00:30:28,340 Cheers, Arthur. 916 00:30:29,180 --> 00:30:29,520 You didn't want me, did you? 917 00:30:30,120 --> 00:30:32,240 Anyway, what do you know about grass, 918 00:30:32,400 --> 00:30:34,320 You haven't even got a bleeding garden, have you? 919 00:30:35,050 --> 00:30:36,050 You put me right in it. 920 00:30:36,460 --> 00:30:37,460 Right in the compost. 921 00:30:38,710 --> 00:30:40,906 Funny thing is, of course, you'll get away with it, won't you? 922 00:30:40,930 --> 00:30:41,930 But I won't. 923 00:30:42,760 --> 00:30:44,100 I'm being assessed now, aren't I? 924 00:30:44,650 --> 00:30:45,960 There's forms, letters, appeals. 925 00:30:46,380 --> 00:30:47,380 Ta. 926 00:30:47,470 --> 00:30:49,010 I was on the right result and all then the geezer 927 00:30:49,011 --> 00:30:50,900 came up with your annual financial statement. 928 00:30:51,120 --> 00:30:53,186 Now, that's got to be the greatest story ever told, isn't it? 929 00:30:53,210 --> 00:30:54,290 Look, you don't understand. 930 00:30:55,520 --> 00:30:56,920 I understand 1,500 sauce. 931 00:30:57,605 --> 00:30:58,925 You're getting a drink out of it. 932 00:30:59,180 --> 00:31:01,046 I'll tell you what, make it a watering can full. 933 00:31:01,070 --> 00:31:03,456 Look, it is more important that I should be solvent than you. 934 00:31:03,480 --> 00:31:04,140 Who says? 935 00:31:04,380 --> 00:31:04,660 I do. 936 00:31:05,270 --> 00:31:07,270 And I am the brains in this organisation, remember? 937 00:31:07,385 --> 00:31:09,065 No, I'll tell you what you should remember. 938 00:31:09,550 --> 00:31:10,260 Have a look. 939 00:31:10,380 --> 00:31:11,380 What? 940 00:31:11,480 --> 00:31:12,480 Those legs. 941 00:31:13,060 --> 00:31:14,260 Should get a Nobel Prize. 942 00:31:15,540 --> 00:31:17,087 Honestly, look, we're talking about important 943 00:31:17,088 --> 00:31:19,321 matters and all you can rabbit on about is legs. 944 00:31:20,270 --> 00:31:22,300 Is that the only topic that exercises your mind? 945 00:31:23,165 --> 00:31:24,165 I like bristles and all. 946 00:31:24,620 --> 00:31:25,881 No wonder you're bottom of the heap. 947 00:31:25,905 --> 00:31:27,680 Handyman and occasional gardener. 948 00:31:27,920 --> 00:31:29,320 A civilian, Terence. 949 00:31:29,860 --> 00:31:31,560 An ordinary, everyday Wally. 950 00:31:32,020 --> 00:31:33,020 Careful! 951 00:31:34,660 --> 00:31:36,420 Brings back fond memories, Benno? 952 00:31:36,860 --> 00:31:37,860 Yeah. 953 00:31:37,960 --> 00:31:39,320 I was always a great fan of yours. 954 00:31:40,065 --> 00:31:42,465 I never understood why Greenwood didn't make more use of you. 955 00:31:43,085 --> 00:31:44,180 Bit of an expert, are we? 956 00:31:44,400 --> 00:31:44,760 What? 957 00:31:44,761 --> 00:31:45,180 Yeah. 958 00:31:45,400 --> 00:31:46,400 I know them all. 959 00:31:48,160 --> 00:31:54,360 Morrow, Greavesy, Ballie and Bestie, Dobbo, Robbo, Sniffer, Chopper. 960 00:31:54,530 --> 00:31:55,680 Yeah, I know them all. 961 00:31:56,600 --> 00:31:57,600 Groucho and Arbo. 962 00:31:58,140 --> 00:31:59,420 Who did they play for, audience? 963 00:32:00,580 --> 00:32:01,660 Bit of a jester, Benno? 964 00:32:01,960 --> 00:32:04,360 All right, where do we go to meet the man with his tickets? 965 00:32:04,740 --> 00:32:05,740 In his office. 966 00:32:05,980 --> 00:32:07,960 You give me the money and I give it to him. 967 00:32:08,120 --> 00:32:09,396 I'm in and out in three minutes. 968 00:32:09,420 --> 00:32:09,580 What? 969 00:32:10,330 --> 00:32:11,490 I don't even get to meet him? 970 00:32:12,430 --> 00:32:13,430 Well, he's a bit wooded. 971 00:32:13,500 --> 00:32:14,500 He's worried? 972 00:32:14,560 --> 00:32:15,720 That is lovely, isn't it? 973 00:32:15,750 --> 00:32:18,121 I've got to let you have 18 grand... Hold on, Arthur! 974 00:32:23,530 --> 00:32:24,130 Benno, you're nearly late. 975 00:32:24,150 --> 00:32:24,970 I nearly killed that geezer. 976 00:32:25,110 --> 00:32:26,110 So? 977 00:32:26,360 --> 00:32:28,030 What is more important, life or money? 978 00:32:40,210 --> 00:32:41,210 Give us the money. 979 00:32:44,550 --> 00:32:44,990 No. 980 00:32:45,315 --> 00:32:46,315 You'll have to stay here. 981 00:32:47,000 --> 00:32:47,830 Hold on, hold on. 982 00:32:47,890 --> 00:32:49,210 Arthur's a bit worried about you. 983 00:32:49,770 --> 00:32:50,770 Come on, Teddy. 984 00:32:51,540 --> 00:32:52,850 We're both on the same side. 985 00:33:27,730 --> 00:33:28,730 Teddy, let's go. 986 00:33:29,430 --> 00:33:30,090 Is that them? 987 00:33:30,330 --> 00:33:31,330 We've cracked it. 988 00:33:32,090 --> 00:33:33,090 Come in. 989 00:33:40,900 --> 00:33:41,900 Anyone follow you out? 990 00:33:43,650 --> 00:33:44,560 Stop worrying, will you? 991 00:33:44,640 --> 00:33:45,640 Stop worrying? 992 00:33:45,700 --> 00:33:46,700 Gold dust! 993 00:33:46,740 --> 00:33:47,816 Do you know what these are worth? 994 00:33:47,840 --> 00:33:48,840 Nah, go on. 995 00:33:49,000 --> 00:33:50,700 Well, we'll have to wait and see, won't we? 996 00:33:51,510 --> 00:33:53,800 When them little jocks see these, they'll start drooling. 997 00:33:54,420 --> 00:33:55,756 Drooling a bit yourself, ain't you? 998 00:33:55,780 --> 00:33:56,220 Why not? 999 00:33:56,620 --> 00:33:57,620 This is the easy bit? 1000 00:33:58,130 --> 00:33:59,370 Now it's off to bonny Scotland. 1001 00:34:00,910 --> 00:34:02,150 I don't want to go to Scotland. 1002 00:34:03,230 --> 00:34:05,476 Well, you don't come to Scotland, you don't get weighed in. 1003 00:34:05,500 --> 00:34:06,500 Well, why? 1004 00:34:06,600 --> 00:34:06,940 Why? 1005 00:34:07,500 --> 00:34:09,220 Because you're our credibility, that's why. 1006 00:34:09,690 --> 00:34:11,571 They don't take no prisoners up there, you know? 1007 00:34:12,100 --> 00:34:13,960 What chances will we have with 2,000 tickets? 1008 00:34:14,220 --> 00:34:14,760 No chance. 1009 00:34:15,145 --> 00:34:16,905 We'd all end up wearing blue circle overcoats 1010 00:34:16,906 --> 00:34:18,580 and being taken for a paddle in the Clyde. 1011 00:34:19,060 --> 00:34:20,060 No, Benno. 1012 00:34:20,310 --> 00:34:23,100 For the next few days, it's down to man-to-man marking. 1013 00:34:43,490 --> 00:34:44,801 They're good, these, aren't they? 1014 00:34:44,825 --> 00:34:46,586 They use them up in Scotland when they're shooting. 1015 00:34:46,610 --> 00:34:47,110 What do you mean? 1016 00:34:47,545 --> 00:34:48,586 We don't shoot in Glasgow? 1017 00:34:48,970 --> 00:34:49,370 No. 1018 00:34:49,890 --> 00:34:52,031 They use razors and bottles and knives on that, don't they? 1019 00:34:52,055 --> 00:34:52,850 No, no, no, no. 1020 00:34:52,930 --> 00:34:55,510 I mean up, you know, in the lochs and the braes and the alps. 1021 00:34:55,980 --> 00:34:57,496 The lairds were their estates when they're shooting 1022 00:34:57,497 --> 00:34:59,631 the grouse and the pheasant and the smoked salmon. 1023 00:34:59,960 --> 00:35:02,200 Nah, these are used for pulling birds, not shooting them. 1024 00:35:02,370 --> 00:35:03,930 Terry, come on, come on, get a move on. 1025 00:35:03,950 --> 00:35:04,490 Give him a shout. 1026 00:35:04,690 --> 00:35:05,030 All right. 1027 00:35:05,210 --> 00:35:05,870 Number 14. 1028 00:35:06,050 --> 00:35:07,050 I know. 1029 00:35:08,190 --> 00:35:09,231 Sorry about your manister. 1030 00:35:10,665 --> 00:35:12,626 So his bright idea was it to go to Scotland, then? 1031 00:35:13,515 --> 00:35:15,156 Well, no, it's only for a couple of days. 1032 00:35:15,290 --> 00:35:16,290 Yeah. 1033 00:35:17,305 --> 00:35:20,546 I'm usually at work, but when he's out of the house, I try and relax a little bit. 1034 00:35:20,630 --> 00:35:21,630 It's nice and quiet. 1035 00:35:22,730 --> 00:35:23,730 More trouble, I suppose. 1036 00:35:24,560 --> 00:35:25,250 Well, no, I hope not. 1037 00:35:25,570 --> 00:35:26,570 No, it's trouble. 1038 00:35:28,065 --> 00:35:29,065 You worried about him? 1039 00:35:29,725 --> 00:35:30,430 Well, he's so restless. 1040 00:35:30,740 --> 00:35:33,450 I mean, why can't he just be unemployed like everyone else? 1041 00:35:34,300 --> 00:35:35,300 Yeah, I'm worried. 1042 00:35:35,950 --> 00:35:37,471 You do know he's on remand, don't you? 1043 00:35:37,870 --> 00:35:38,490 Well, yeah. 1044 00:35:38,810 --> 00:35:40,110 But he seems fairly optimistic. 1045 00:35:40,290 --> 00:35:42,050 I mean, he reckons he'll only get six months. 1046 00:35:42,230 --> 00:35:44,490 Well, I would be only delighted if he got two years. 1047 00:35:45,410 --> 00:35:47,110 Come on, you don't mean that. 1048 00:35:47,400 --> 00:35:48,010 Don't I? 1049 00:35:48,350 --> 00:35:48,790 Listen. 1050 00:35:48,990 --> 00:35:52,370 If he's palled up with Arthur Daly, that's for sure. 1051 00:35:53,410 --> 00:35:54,506 You know Arthur, do you? 1052 00:35:54,530 --> 00:35:55,050 Yeah. 1053 00:35:55,230 --> 00:35:56,230 Years ago. 1054 00:35:56,740 --> 00:35:57,740 Right jack the lad in. 1055 00:35:57,840 --> 00:35:58,840 Bit of like my Justin. 1056 00:35:59,505 --> 00:36:01,090 Mind you, I was only a kid at the time. 1057 00:36:01,690 --> 00:36:03,550 I worked at the cabaret club in Jermyn Street. 1058 00:36:04,830 --> 00:36:06,191 Didn't have a lot of luck, though. 1059 00:36:06,250 --> 00:36:07,250 I was the hatchet girl. 1060 00:36:07,690 --> 00:36:09,291 Suddenly, everyone stopped wearing hats. 1061 00:36:10,390 --> 00:36:11,906 Yeah, well, Arthur still does, of course. 1062 00:36:11,930 --> 00:36:12,930 Yeah. 1063 00:36:13,025 --> 00:36:14,386 And then I was the cigarette girl. 1064 00:36:14,560 --> 00:36:16,270 Suddenly, everyone stopped smoking. 1065 00:36:17,090 --> 00:36:18,770 That's when I decided to have my Justin. 1066 00:36:19,560 --> 00:36:20,830 Seemed a good idea at the time. 1067 00:36:21,350 --> 00:36:22,350 Do you want a drink? 1068 00:36:23,290 --> 00:36:24,130 No, thanks, no. 1069 00:36:24,210 --> 00:36:24,910 It's a bit early for me. 1070 00:36:25,130 --> 00:36:26,130 Sorry, Sel. 1071 00:36:26,350 --> 00:36:27,466 I forgot I didn't have a bag. 1072 00:36:27,490 --> 00:36:28,070 Nice, isn't it? 1073 00:36:28,150 --> 00:36:28,430 Gucci? 1074 00:36:29,150 --> 00:36:29,690 Yeah, it's lovely. 1075 00:36:29,790 --> 00:36:30,590 Come on, aren't you, Toads? 1076 00:36:30,750 --> 00:36:31,750 Yeah, aren't you? 1077 00:36:34,850 --> 00:36:36,350 That's a bit tasty, Sel. 1078 00:36:36,630 --> 00:36:36,950 What? 1079 00:36:37,390 --> 00:36:38,390 The old shag wagon. 1080 00:36:40,750 --> 00:36:43,046 Arthur thinks it's for hunting, shooting and fishing, doesn't he? 1081 00:36:43,070 --> 00:36:43,750 Thank you. 1082 00:36:44,070 --> 00:36:45,070 Go around the side. 1083 00:36:47,690 --> 00:36:48,010 Oi. 1084 00:36:48,305 --> 00:36:49,830 Did you go before you came out, Justin? 1085 00:36:49,831 --> 00:36:51,370 It's a very long trip. 1086 00:36:51,410 --> 00:36:52,410 Far, far. 1087 00:37:07,200 --> 00:37:08,520 You got your passport, Terry? 1088 00:37:08,680 --> 00:37:09,680 How's your phrasebook? 1089 00:37:10,100 --> 00:37:11,100 What are you on about? 1090 00:37:11,670 --> 00:37:12,991 We're all foreigners from now on. 1091 00:37:13,100 --> 00:37:14,741 Nobody speaks English north of Tottenham. 1092 00:37:15,340 --> 00:37:16,621 Did your mum ever tell you that? 1093 00:37:18,780 --> 00:37:20,420 Are we gonna follow them all the way? 1094 00:37:20,640 --> 00:37:22,940 They gotta stop sometime for a pee or whatever. 1095 00:37:23,920 --> 00:37:26,260 I think I'll have a word with Mr. Daly then. 1096 00:37:37,170 --> 00:37:40,050 Is your inaugural visit to Spaghetti Junction, is it, Arthur? 1097 00:37:40,210 --> 00:37:40,810 Inaugural? 1098 00:37:40,960 --> 00:37:41,790 Very funny, Terence. 1099 00:37:41,950 --> 00:37:43,806 I'm telling you, we should have stayed on the M1. 1100 00:37:43,830 --> 00:37:45,590 Everybody knows the M1 goes to Scotland. 1101 00:37:45,990 --> 00:37:47,370 Yeah, but not to Glasgow. 1102 00:37:47,850 --> 00:37:48,850 Glasgow. 1103 00:37:48,975 --> 00:37:50,790 Daly's magical mystery tour? 1104 00:37:51,390 --> 00:37:59,010 I belong to Glasgow I belong to Glasgow Here in old Glasgow town Here in old 1105 00:37:59,011 --> 00:38:04,450 Glasgow town There's something the matter with Glasgow There's something the matter 1106 00:38:04,590 --> 00:38:12,590 with Glasgow Round and round I'm only a common old working man As anyone else can 1107 00:38:14,890 --> 00:38:22,890 see But when I've had a couple of drinks On a Saturday Glasgow belongs to me Yeah! 1108 00:38:26,590 --> 00:38:34,590 Speed's bloody boat Like a bird on the wind but as sailors Go round and round. 1109 00:38:38,930 --> 00:38:46,930 And try Parry the lad That's born a big kid Over the sea to sea That's nice. 1110 00:38:47,350 --> 00:38:51,170 What have they slowed down for? 1111 00:38:51,950 --> 00:38:53,530 I think they've got a bit of trouble. 1112 00:38:53,910 --> 00:38:54,910 Good. 1113 00:38:55,510 --> 00:38:56,790 You've over-eated it. 1114 00:38:57,250 --> 00:38:58,610 You've gone and broken it. 1115 00:38:59,190 --> 00:39:01,590 Talking about it's a pile of rubbish in the first place. 1116 00:39:01,750 --> 00:39:03,470 That's why you haven't been able to sell it. 1117 00:39:04,610 --> 00:39:05,010 It's a pile of services. 1118 00:39:05,250 --> 00:39:06,330 Yeah, all right, all right. 1119 00:39:08,370 --> 00:39:09,810 Can you have a look at this, Squire? 1120 00:39:09,990 --> 00:39:10,990 It's a gasket. 1121 00:39:11,490 --> 00:39:12,870 We haven't had a look at it yet. 1122 00:39:13,030 --> 00:39:14,030 It's a gasket. 1123 00:39:14,110 --> 00:39:17,730 Look, Squire, I'm trade. 1124 00:39:18,710 --> 00:39:19,330 How long? 1125 00:39:19,590 --> 00:39:20,590 A couple of hours. 1126 00:39:21,730 --> 00:39:22,830 I'm going to Scotland. 1127 00:39:23,300 --> 00:39:24,300 You were near here. 1128 00:39:24,540 --> 00:39:26,170 I told you, Squire, I'm trade. 1129 00:39:26,470 --> 00:39:27,570 It'll still be two hours. 1130 00:39:28,090 --> 00:39:29,110 I've got to get the spares. 1131 00:39:29,111 --> 00:39:30,670 There's another garage for 22 miles. 1132 00:39:31,270 --> 00:39:33,671 I tell you what, Squire, it'll be a nice drink in it for you. 1133 00:39:33,750 --> 00:39:34,750 Ta. 1134 00:39:35,455 --> 00:39:37,790 It'll be about an hour and 50 minutes. 1135 00:39:38,630 --> 00:39:39,630 Ta. 1136 00:39:42,250 --> 00:39:43,650 What was all that Squire stuff? 1137 00:39:44,010 --> 00:39:45,026 We're up north, aren't we? 1138 00:39:45,050 --> 00:39:46,730 They like all that rustic stuff, you know. 1139 00:39:47,610 --> 00:39:48,250 Where's the tickets? 1140 00:39:48,590 --> 00:39:49,590 You go on, Muncher. 1141 00:39:58,250 --> 00:39:59,970 Don't you let that out of your sight again? 1142 00:40:00,210 --> 00:40:00,570 Me? 1143 00:40:00,730 --> 00:40:02,110 You're supposed to be looking after it. 1144 00:40:02,111 --> 00:40:03,671 You're supposed to be looking after me. 1145 00:40:03,790 --> 00:40:04,990 I mean, up the road, Scotland. 1146 00:40:05,230 --> 00:40:06,230 The Badlands. 1147 00:40:06,550 --> 00:40:08,190 With patches round every corner. 1148 00:40:08,690 --> 00:40:09,990 Lurking in every peabrock. 1149 00:40:10,190 --> 00:40:10,730 Look at that. 1150 00:40:11,030 --> 00:40:12,150 It's a wilderness, isn't it? 1151 00:40:12,270 --> 00:40:14,230 No wonder Adrian built that wall. 1152 00:40:14,470 --> 00:40:16,370 He didn't have any football tickets, did he? 1153 00:40:16,650 --> 00:40:18,290 He should have come in an armoured car. 1154 00:40:18,630 --> 00:40:20,630 We're talking about 50 grand street value. 1155 00:40:20,910 --> 00:40:22,490 Never mind your illegal substances. 1156 00:40:22,870 --> 00:40:24,926 Them little jocks would kill for one of them tickets. 1157 00:40:24,950 --> 00:40:26,790 And that Alistair with his financial times. 1158 00:40:26,850 --> 00:40:27,850 What's he all about? 1159 00:40:28,110 --> 00:40:29,290 You keep an eye on him. 1160 00:40:32,380 --> 00:40:33,621 Made you turn round, didn't it? 1161 00:40:34,110 --> 00:40:36,031 Now hopefully you might even buy me a cup of tea. 1162 00:40:36,530 --> 00:40:38,590 What I really fancied was a pina colada. 1163 00:40:39,450 --> 00:40:40,770 That's all I've found in Glasgow. 1164 00:40:45,530 --> 00:40:46,530 Follow him. 1165 00:40:47,050 --> 00:40:47,550 What for? 1166 00:40:48,010 --> 00:40:49,290 I want to know where he's going. 1167 00:40:50,130 --> 00:40:51,430 He's going to make a phone call. 1168 00:40:51,570 --> 00:40:52,730 Yeah, I want to know who too. 1169 00:40:53,430 --> 00:40:54,430 Do you? 1170 00:41:18,805 --> 00:41:20,206 He's talking to someone on the dog. 1171 00:41:20,950 --> 00:41:22,510 That's what he said he was going to do. 1172 00:41:23,040 --> 00:41:24,040 I wonder who it is. 1173 00:41:24,390 --> 00:41:25,390 Well, ask him. 1174 00:41:28,830 --> 00:41:29,830 Do you know him? 1175 00:41:30,270 --> 00:41:31,270 Yeah. 1176 00:41:31,930 --> 00:41:32,930 Do you? 1177 00:41:34,140 --> 00:41:35,170 Well, I had to tell him. 1178 00:41:36,790 --> 00:41:37,790 What? 1179 00:41:38,405 --> 00:41:39,970 About us and the tickets. 1180 00:41:41,710 --> 00:41:42,710 Thank you. 1181 00:41:42,810 --> 00:41:44,106 Well, he was going to give me a pasting. 1182 00:41:44,130 --> 00:41:45,190 So I told him. 1183 00:41:45,310 --> 00:41:46,310 What did you tell him? 1184 00:41:46,890 --> 00:41:48,506 You'll have to settle with him, I told him. 1185 00:41:48,530 --> 00:41:49,030 The governor. 1186 00:41:49,190 --> 00:41:50,090 The don of dons. 1187 00:41:50,091 --> 00:41:51,451 And he weren't all that impressed. 1188 00:41:51,570 --> 00:41:53,410 Well, you didn't say it in Italian, did you? 1189 00:41:53,680 --> 00:41:55,441 No, well, I haven't got that far in the book. 1190 00:41:55,630 --> 00:41:57,070 Anyway, you're not worried, are you? 1191 00:41:57,230 --> 00:41:58,406 I mean, what about the old days? 1192 00:41:58,430 --> 00:42:00,950 You know, all the gang warfare at the Brighton race courses? 1193 00:42:01,210 --> 00:42:03,070 That was before the war, Justine. 1194 00:42:03,410 --> 00:42:04,410 Was it? 1195 00:42:04,830 --> 00:42:06,754 Well, what about all the street corner bookies 1196 00:42:06,755 --> 00:42:08,610 and the Soho Spielers before the gaming act? 1197 00:42:08,930 --> 00:42:12,290 And that shootout at Mr Smith's with the What's-His-Name family and the thingy twins? 1198 00:42:12,535 --> 00:42:14,810 Your yearning for nostalgia is morbid. 1199 00:42:15,530 --> 00:42:16,806 I'm just trying to learn, aren't I? 1200 00:42:16,830 --> 00:42:19,311 Yeah, well, the first thing to learn is don't say nothing to nobody. 1201 00:42:19,335 --> 00:42:21,050 But the geezer was trying to strangle me. 1202 00:42:21,130 --> 00:42:23,130 Particularly people who are trying to strangle you. 1203 00:42:23,830 --> 00:42:24,830 Behave yourselves. 1204 00:42:25,750 --> 00:42:28,170 Arthur, Phil would like to see you. 1205 00:42:29,050 --> 00:42:29,470 I'm here. 1206 00:42:29,750 --> 00:42:31,330 We tried to find you last night. 1207 00:42:31,490 --> 00:42:33,690 Went to all the usual haunts, but you'd had early night. 1208 00:42:34,730 --> 00:42:36,610 Imagine you on the high road to Scotland, 1209 00:42:36,770 --> 00:42:38,170 It's the Winchester annual trip. 1210 00:42:38,610 --> 00:42:41,090 Yeah, well, Phil's in his motor looking at the afternoon film. 1211 00:42:41,390 --> 00:42:41,710 Yeah? 1212 00:42:41,730 --> 00:42:42,130 What is it? 1213 00:42:42,550 --> 00:42:43,550 Stranglers in the night? 1214 00:42:44,110 --> 00:42:45,330 Mr Daly's in a meeting. 1215 00:42:45,710 --> 00:42:46,890 Shut your mouth, kid. 1216 00:42:46,910 --> 00:42:48,006 You nearly copped it earlier. 1217 00:42:48,030 --> 00:42:48,850 See what I mean? 1218 00:42:48,870 --> 00:42:49,990 I told you, didn't I, Steve? 1219 00:42:51,790 --> 00:42:53,190 Yeah, I'll be there directly. 1220 00:42:53,510 --> 00:42:54,510 Yeah. 1221 00:42:55,570 --> 00:42:56,570 That's good night. 1222 00:42:56,610 --> 00:42:57,610 Is it? 1223 00:42:57,710 --> 00:42:58,710 Good night. 1224 00:43:00,110 --> 00:43:03,430 Good match, was it? 1225 00:43:04,090 --> 00:43:05,090 What match? 1226 00:43:05,410 --> 00:43:07,250 Well, I assume you've been to a football match. 1227 00:43:08,430 --> 00:43:09,690 That was two years ago. 1228 00:43:10,030 --> 00:43:11,030 Hamburg. 1229 00:43:11,850 --> 00:43:13,910 Do you think they kept my job open? 1230 00:43:14,110 --> 00:43:16,550 No, but I think they've got a nice gyro check waiting for you. 1231 00:43:17,270 --> 00:43:18,270 What month is it? 1232 00:43:18,430 --> 00:43:19,430 March. 1233 00:43:20,635 --> 00:43:21,650 The day's fly. 1234 00:43:23,570 --> 00:43:24,630 Need have bought a ticket. 1235 00:43:25,290 --> 00:43:26,030 What about Phil? 1236 00:43:26,310 --> 00:43:27,350 He's bigger than Phil. 1237 00:43:27,590 --> 00:43:28,670 Don't worry about Phil. 1238 00:43:28,950 --> 00:43:30,290 Guard that with your life. 1239 00:43:31,440 --> 00:43:32,440 Just cover me. 1240 00:43:32,610 --> 00:43:33,750 I will, I will. 1241 00:43:42,830 --> 00:43:43,830 Where are you going? 1242 00:43:44,010 --> 00:43:45,010 Just going for a leak. 1243 00:43:55,070 --> 00:43:56,110 You're a lucky man. 1244 00:43:56,850 --> 00:43:58,371 What do you want about your game, mate? 1245 00:44:00,185 --> 00:44:01,370 I've got egg on my face. 1246 00:44:01,515 --> 00:44:03,075 You're gonna have blood on your throat. 1247 00:44:03,790 --> 00:44:05,090 Well, if I don't leave it out... 1248 00:44:05,190 --> 00:44:06,751 You must think they're mental up there. 1249 00:44:08,310 --> 00:44:10,870 Now, look, it's quite clear you've got the alphabet of something. 1250 00:44:11,090 --> 00:44:11,310 Aye. 1251 00:44:11,910 --> 00:44:14,150 I'm a civilized man, an accountant. 1252 00:44:14,410 --> 00:44:17,050 I don't do things like this, pushing people around toilets. 1253 00:44:17,110 --> 00:44:18,110 Then stop. 1254 00:44:18,330 --> 00:44:19,050 I went to an academy. 1255 00:44:19,170 --> 00:44:20,410 I've got letters after my name. 1256 00:44:20,450 --> 00:44:21,450 Yeah, but what ones? 1257 00:44:22,270 --> 00:44:23,270 Forgeries. 1258 00:44:23,460 --> 00:44:24,290 How could you do it? 1259 00:44:24,450 --> 00:44:25,450 It's football. 1260 00:44:25,850 --> 00:44:26,850 What are you on about? 1261 00:44:27,530 --> 00:44:29,106 I've been on the phone since we got here. 1262 00:44:29,130 --> 00:44:30,130 They know. 1263 00:44:30,190 --> 00:44:31,190 They know. 1264 00:44:33,715 --> 00:44:34,630 They've got friends at Wembley. 1265 00:44:34,670 --> 00:44:35,870 Contacts in the ticket office. 1266 00:44:36,300 --> 00:44:37,866 They've checked the postal applications. 1267 00:44:37,890 --> 00:44:39,050 There are no missing tickets. 1268 00:44:39,150 --> 00:44:40,191 You're flogging forgeries. 1269 00:44:42,295 --> 00:44:43,710 I thought you were Steve Benson. 1270 00:44:44,030 --> 00:44:45,090 Could you, er... 1271 00:44:45,240 --> 00:44:46,240 Yeah, sure. 1272 00:44:46,370 --> 00:44:49,170 I saw you against City about ten years ago when I was a kid. 1273 00:44:49,800 --> 00:44:51,361 Two late goals and then you got booked. 1274 00:44:51,390 --> 00:44:52,830 Not many like you now, Steve? 1275 00:44:53,190 --> 00:44:53,570 Yeah. 1276 00:44:53,630 --> 00:44:53,970 Cheers. 1277 00:44:54,390 --> 00:44:56,730 Sorry about that. 1278 00:44:58,450 --> 00:44:59,530 He's got a good memory. 1279 00:45:00,270 --> 00:45:01,270 Yeah. 1280 00:45:02,790 --> 00:45:03,450 What's going into management? 1281 00:45:03,750 --> 00:45:06,650 With my record, they want stable characters. 1282 00:45:06,910 --> 00:45:08,070 They don't want guys like me. 1283 00:45:08,470 --> 00:45:11,450 You know, in the gossip columns, into court, into scrapes. 1284 00:45:12,050 --> 00:45:13,571 I'd be a bad influence on the players. 1285 00:45:13,790 --> 00:45:17,610 Well, what about... And if you're about to say, why don't I buy a pub, I've had two. 1286 00:45:18,150 --> 00:45:19,790 And a restaurant and a sports shop. 1287 00:45:20,275 --> 00:45:21,956 Selling tracksuits to middle-aged joggers. 1288 00:45:22,130 --> 00:45:23,130 What about America? 1289 00:45:23,230 --> 00:45:24,870 Even America don't want to know about me. 1290 00:45:25,430 --> 00:45:26,370 Got any other ideas? 1291 00:45:26,371 --> 00:45:27,371 Cheers. 1292 00:45:27,630 --> 00:45:28,630 I'm in your cabin. 1293 00:45:29,360 --> 00:45:30,630 Lost my licence two years ago. 1294 00:45:31,550 --> 00:45:33,650 We're talking about my career, Justin. 1295 00:45:33,930 --> 00:45:34,930 What career? 1296 00:45:35,130 --> 00:45:36,130 Tow rig. 1297 00:45:37,960 --> 00:45:38,970 I like George Formby. 1298 00:45:40,010 --> 00:45:41,010 And Wilhay. 1299 00:45:41,375 --> 00:45:42,970 I mean, it's better than racing. 1300 00:45:43,030 --> 00:45:44,410 Have I done anything against you? 1301 00:45:45,790 --> 00:45:46,790 Never. 1302 00:45:47,230 --> 00:45:48,230 Precisely. 1303 00:45:51,230 --> 00:45:55,010 I've got 400 tickets for England-Scotland game. 1304 00:45:56,170 --> 00:45:57,170 But it's not enough. 1305 00:45:58,170 --> 00:46:03,670 I meet you on the motorway, by chance, and you say you've got 2,000. 1306 00:46:06,080 --> 00:46:07,790 It's a question of respect. 1307 00:46:09,325 --> 00:46:11,930 I'm known as the man who runs the ticket market. 1308 00:46:13,040 --> 00:46:14,321 That's why I'm going to Glasgow. 1309 00:46:16,280 --> 00:46:18,090 Suddenly, Arthur, you're a threat. 1310 00:46:18,530 --> 00:46:19,090 Me? 1311 00:46:19,091 --> 00:46:21,110 And a threat has to be curtailed. 1312 00:46:22,150 --> 00:46:23,150 Or destroyed. 1313 00:46:24,915 --> 00:46:28,550 Well, now that you explain, I do understand your problem. 1314 00:46:28,650 --> 00:46:29,650 It's not my problem. 1315 00:46:30,750 --> 00:46:31,750 It's your problem. 1316 00:46:32,670 --> 00:46:34,050 Peace or war. 1317 00:46:34,470 --> 00:46:35,470 Simple. 1318 00:46:36,120 --> 00:46:37,186 Well, be quite honest, Phil. 1319 00:46:37,210 --> 00:46:39,130 I'm not all that crazy about the ticket business. 1320 00:46:39,655 --> 00:46:40,850 I don't trust them wee jocks. 1321 00:46:42,985 --> 00:46:44,850 You have to understand minorities. 1322 00:46:45,540 --> 00:46:47,110 You've obviously got the gift. 1323 00:46:48,740 --> 00:46:50,710 Well, Phil, look, you can have the tickets. 1324 00:46:51,680 --> 00:46:53,390 2,008 quid tickets. 1325 00:46:53,670 --> 00:46:54,670 35 grand. 1326 00:46:55,820 --> 00:46:57,550 You're talking about silly money. 1327 00:46:57,780 --> 00:46:58,780 I'll give you half. 1328 00:46:59,040 --> 00:47:00,721 I've got to make a small margin of profit. 1329 00:47:15,150 --> 00:47:17,090 I shall get booked for that, shouldn't I, son? 1330 00:47:20,170 --> 00:47:21,910 I hope you haven't spent that money. 1331 00:47:23,930 --> 00:47:24,930 22 and a half. 1332 00:47:26,685 --> 00:47:27,685 I don't know, Arthur. 1333 00:47:28,180 --> 00:47:29,930 It might be a steward's inquiry now. 1334 00:47:32,430 --> 00:47:34,230 How could you do a thing like that? 1335 00:47:34,610 --> 00:47:35,610 I don't know. 1336 00:47:36,730 --> 00:47:37,850 Professional foul, was it? 1337 00:47:38,250 --> 00:47:39,430 Yeah, something like that. 1338 00:47:39,730 --> 00:47:41,190 Well, you get desperate, don't you? 1339 00:47:41,370 --> 00:47:42,370 No, you don't. 1340 00:47:42,690 --> 00:47:44,690 What about the bloke in the office at Wembley? 1341 00:47:45,310 --> 00:47:46,970 There wasn't a bloke in the office. 1342 00:47:47,730 --> 00:47:49,910 I stashed the tickets in the loo the night before. 1343 00:47:50,210 --> 00:47:51,210 It gets worse. 1344 00:47:51,750 --> 00:47:53,190 Well, we nearly got away with it. 1345 00:47:53,410 --> 00:47:53,650 We? 1346 00:47:53,770 --> 00:47:54,770 We, he says. 1347 00:47:54,930 --> 00:47:56,410 Well, you would have taken the money. 1348 00:47:56,510 --> 00:47:58,310 I nearly had a deal there with old Phil. 1349 00:47:58,311 --> 00:48:00,610 But that would have been dishonest, wouldn't it? 1350 00:48:00,770 --> 00:48:03,070 I didn't know they were forgeries at that point. 1351 00:48:04,210 --> 00:48:06,210 Now, Phil's gone off without a stare to Glasgow. 1352 00:48:07,770 --> 00:48:09,290 Anyway, you'll get your money back. 1353 00:48:09,510 --> 00:48:09,870 Yeah. 1354 00:48:10,170 --> 00:48:14,670 What about the 3% interest on the 18 grand and the petrol and the gasket and the 1355 00:48:14,671 --> 00:48:18,270 thermostat and all them pies and biscuits and all the aggravation? 1356 00:48:18,590 --> 00:48:18,990 That's right. 1357 00:48:19,110 --> 00:48:22,186 In the old days, that would have been a definite kneecap job, wouldn't it, Arthur? 1358 00:48:22,210 --> 00:48:25,446 And I tell you what, mate, as soon as I get out, I'm going to make it all up to you. 1359 00:48:25,470 --> 00:48:27,390 Cos, I mean, like, we're partners now, aren't we? 1360 00:48:27,510 --> 00:48:29,870 Justine, I never, ever want to see you again. 1361 00:48:30,450 --> 00:48:31,590 Or hear you again. 1362 00:48:31,970 --> 00:48:32,790 Leave it? 1363 00:48:32,830 --> 00:48:33,870 Just as we was getting on. 1364 00:48:34,090 --> 00:48:34,950 No, Justine. 1365 00:48:35,070 --> 00:48:36,070 Finito. 1366 00:48:36,510 --> 00:48:38,350 I think he means arrivederci. 1367 00:48:39,010 --> 00:48:39,450 Valari. 1368 00:48:39,910 --> 00:48:41,150 Ciao, ciao, bambino. 1369 00:48:41,510 --> 00:48:42,510 Auf wiedersehen. 1370 00:48:42,730 --> 00:48:43,730 On your bike. 1371 00:48:43,950 --> 00:48:44,950 Pizza off. 1372 00:48:50,650 --> 00:48:53,990 Perhaps we should have used them as compost for your garden, Arthur. 1373 00:49:14,240 --> 00:49:18,280 If you want to, I'll change the situation. 1374 00:49:22,640 --> 00:49:26,640 Right people, right time, just the wrong location. 1375 00:49:34,640 --> 00:49:41,980 Just you keep me near, I'll be so good for you I could be so good for you I'm gonna 1376 00:49:41,981 --> 00:49:49,980 help you Love you like you want me to I'll do anything for you Anything for you I'll 1377 00:49:49,981 --> 00:49:56,100 be so good for you I could be so good for you I'll do it like you want me to Love 1378 00:49:56,101 --> 00:49:59,978 you like you want me to There ain't nothing 1379 00:49:59,979 --> 00:50:04,261 I can't go through I'll be so good for you 1379 00:50:05,305 --> 00:51:05,247