"My 600-lb Life" Zsalynn and Christina

1 00:00:06,900 --> 00:00:10,167 Olivia: MY WEIGHT IS KILLING ME. 2 00:00:10,167 --> 00:00:11,467 James: IT'S DEPRESSING, 3 00:00:11,467 --> 00:00:13,533 BEING OVERWEIGHT FOR SO MANY YEARS. 4 00:00:13,533 --> 00:00:17,600 Zsalynn: I'VE MISSED OUT ON SO MUCH OF MY DAUGHTER'S CHILDHOOD. 5 00:00:17,600 --> 00:00:20,733 Christina: I FEAR THAT I'LL JUST KEEP GETTING BIGGER 6 00:00:20,733 --> 00:00:22,767 UNTIL I DO DIE. 7 00:00:25,067 --> 00:00:26,533 Penny: THIS IS MY LIFE, 8 00:00:26,533 --> 00:00:28,033 AND I'M GONNA FIGHT FOR THIS LIFE. 9 00:00:28,033 --> 00:00:30,767 ARE YOU IN PAIN? [ GROANING ] 10 00:00:30,767 --> 00:00:33,033 WE CAN GIVE YOU SOME MEDICINE, OKAY? 11 00:00:35,000 --> 00:00:41,074 12 00:00:44,067 --> 00:00:45,467 COME ON. 13 00:00:45,467 --> 00:00:47,767 James: I DON'T WANT TO GO BACK TO WHERE I WAS. 14 00:00:47,767 --> 00:00:50,633 THERE YOU GO. WORK IT, GIRL. 15 00:00:50,633 --> 00:00:52,200 Chuck: THE VERY REASON I PUT THE WEIGHT ON 16 00:00:52,200 --> 00:00:54,967 IS BECAUSE OF WHAT I HAVEN'T DEALT WITH. 17 00:00:58,233 --> 00:01:00,600 Paula: IT'S BEEN EIGHT YEARS SINCE I WAS ABLE TO DO 18 00:01:00,600 --> 00:01:02,567 A LOT OF THE THINGS THAT I'M DOING NOW. 19 00:01:02,567 --> 00:01:04,867 Tara: IT FEELS LIKE A NEW LIFE. 20 00:01:04,867 --> 00:01:06,533 Zsalynn: I'M A WORK IN PROGRESS, 21 00:01:06,533 --> 00:01:07,933 BUT WE ARE ON THE RIGHT PATH. 22 00:01:11,433 --> 00:01:13,767 Christina: I'M EXCITED TO SEE WHAT THE FUTURE'S GONNA BRING. 23 00:01:13,767 --> 00:01:15,100 YES. 24 00:01:15,100 --> 00:01:17,133 -- Captions by VITAC -- www.vitac.com 25 00:01:17,133 --> 00:01:19,200 CAPTIONS PAID FOR BY DISCOVERY COMMUNICATIONS 26 00:01:19,200 --> 00:01:20,533 Zsalynn: I'M MISERABLE. 27 00:01:20,533 --> 00:01:23,267 [ Voice breaking ] I REALLY HATE BEING THIS SIZE. 28 00:01:23,267 --> 00:01:25,533 I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING IS KILLING ME, 29 00:01:25,533 --> 00:01:27,467 BUT I CAN'T STOP. 30 00:01:32,200 --> 00:01:34,067 [ Voice breaking ] MY DAUGHTER IS AN INNOCENT VICTIM IN THIS. 31 00:01:34,067 --> 00:01:35,200 I FEEL LIKE 32 00:01:35,200 --> 00:01:38,333 MY WEIGHT IS COSTING HER A NORMAL CHILDHOOD. 33 00:01:38,333 --> 00:01:41,467 SOMETHING IN MY LIFE HAS TO CHANGE. 34 00:01:41,467 --> 00:01:43,067 WITHOUT THIS SURGERY, 35 00:01:43,067 --> 00:01:47,067 I'M GONNA DIE SOONER, RATHER THAN LATER. 36 00:01:49,167 --> 00:01:53,400 HE HAS A PHYSICAL PREFERENCE FOR HIS SEXUAL NEEDS. 37 00:01:53,400 --> 00:01:55,400 HE WANTS A FAT WIFE. 38 00:01:55,400 --> 00:01:57,733 [ Voice breaking ] I KNOW SOMEWHERE INSIDE OF HIS HEART 39 00:01:57,733 --> 00:01:59,067 HE MUST CARE. 40 00:01:59,067 --> 00:02:00,567 GUESS HOW FAR I WALKED. 41 00:02:00,567 --> 00:02:01,800 3 FEET? 42 00:02:01,800 --> 00:02:03,200 10 FEET? MOVE. 43 00:02:03,200 --> 00:02:07,400 HE HAS NO IDEA HOW CLOSE TO DEATH I FEEL. 44 00:02:07,400 --> 00:02:09,767 BIG CAN'T BE BEAUTIFUL 45 00:02:09,767 --> 00:02:12,433 WHEN IT MEANS MY DAUGHTER MAY NOT HAVE A MOTHER. 46 00:02:12,433 --> 00:02:14,167 I NEED TO DO THIS FOR HER. 47 00:02:19,067 --> 00:02:22,233 I'M PROUD OF MYSELF EVERY SINGLE DAY. 48 00:02:22,233 --> 00:02:23,767 IT'S REALLY AMAZING. 49 00:02:23,767 --> 00:02:26,867 IT'S BEEN LIKE 7 YEARS SINCE I'VE WORN A PAIR OF JEANS. 50 00:02:26,867 --> 00:02:30,433 FOR HANNAH, I FEEL LIKE WE ARE ON THE RIGHT PATH. 51 00:02:47,167 --> 00:02:50,667 MY LIFE NOW IS COMPLETELY DIFFERENT. 52 00:02:50,667 --> 00:02:54,133 I REALLY CAN'T BELIEVE HOW FAR I'VE COME IN JUST A YEAR. 53 00:02:54,133 --> 00:02:56,433 HANNAH, DO YOU WANT ME TO MAKE YOU A SANDWICH? 54 00:02:56,433 --> 00:02:58,067 YES? OKAY. 55 00:02:58,067 --> 00:03:01,300 A YEAR AGO, I WAS ALMOST BEDRIDDEN. 56 00:03:04,233 --> 00:03:06,933 I WAS READY TO GIVE UP ON LIFE. 57 00:03:06,933 --> 00:03:11,267 BUT TODAY, I'M RE-GAINING CONTROL 58 00:03:11,267 --> 00:03:14,733 OF A LOT OF PARTS OF MY LIFE. 59 00:03:14,733 --> 00:03:18,067 BUT IF I'M NOT CAREFUL, IT'S EASY FOR ME TO GO BACK 60 00:03:18,067 --> 00:03:21,700 TO WHAT I FOUND COMFORTABLE FOR SO LONG. 61 00:03:23,600 --> 00:03:27,967 I HAVE HAD TO REALIZE AND ACKNOWLEDGE 62 00:03:27,967 --> 00:03:29,767 THAT I'M AN ADDICT... 63 00:03:29,767 --> 00:03:34,400 HANNAH, WHAT KIND OF SANDWICH DO YOU WANT? 64 00:03:36,300 --> 00:03:40,567 ...AN ADDICT WHO IS AROUND HER DRUG ALL THE TIME. 65 00:03:40,567 --> 00:03:43,067 ANYTHING SWEET IN MY HOUSE, 66 00:03:43,067 --> 00:03:45,233 IF IT'S HERE, I WILL OBSESS ABOUT IT. 67 00:03:45,233 --> 00:03:51,633 THAT FEELING OF COMFORT AND LOVE WHEN YOU OVEREAT ON SUGAR. 68 00:03:55,967 --> 00:03:57,800 MMM! 69 00:03:57,800 --> 00:04:02,067 EVERY SINGLE DAY, I STILL FIGHT THE CRAVINGS. 70 00:04:02,067 --> 00:04:05,900 IT'S REALLY HARD, BUT IT'S WORTH IT... 71 00:04:05,900 --> 00:04:07,200 CHICKEN SALAD. 72 00:04:07,200 --> 00:04:09,067 AND LOOK, I CUT THEM INTO PINWHEELS. 73 00:04:09,067 --> 00:04:10,433 YAY! 74 00:04:10,433 --> 00:04:12,267 ...BECAUSE I'M CLOSER TO MY DAUGHTER, HANNAH, 75 00:04:12,267 --> 00:04:13,367 THAN I'VE EVER BEEN. 76 00:04:13,367 --> 00:04:16,067 BEFORE, MY FRIEND BONNIE 77 00:04:16,067 --> 00:04:19,200 WOULD HAVE TO TAKE HER TO DO EVERYTHING. 78 00:04:19,200 --> 00:04:21,200 BEING MUCH MORE ACTIVE 79 00:04:21,200 --> 00:04:24,800 HAS ALLOWED ME TO DO SO MANY THINGS WITH HER. 80 00:04:24,800 --> 00:04:27,800 AND WE'VE BEEN ABLE TO REALLY BOND OVER THAT. 81 00:04:27,800 --> 00:04:29,833 LET'S GO DO SOMETHING. IT'S MY DAY OFF. 82 00:04:29,833 --> 00:04:32,233 LET'S NOT JUST STAY IN THE HOUSE. 83 00:04:32,233 --> 00:04:35,467 LET'S GO TO THE DOWNTOWN PARK TO FEED THE DUCKS. 84 00:04:35,467 --> 00:04:36,467 THAT'D BE FUN. 85 00:04:36,467 --> 00:04:38,067 OKAY. LET'S GO. 86 00:04:38,067 --> 00:04:39,900 YOU GONNA BRUSH THAT HAIR? 87 00:04:39,900 --> 00:04:42,067 MNH-MNH. 88 00:04:42,067 --> 00:04:45,067 NOW I'M ABLE TO BE HER MOTHER, 89 00:04:45,067 --> 00:04:49,300 AND THAT HAS MADE IT ALL WORTH IT FOR ME. 90 00:04:49,300 --> 00:04:54,833 DOING THINGS WITH HANNAH IS WHAT KEEPS ME MOTIVATED. 91 00:04:54,833 --> 00:04:58,067 I JUST WANT TO BE ACTIVE WITH HER. 92 00:04:58,067 --> 00:05:00,067 I JUST WANT TO BE A GOOD MOTHER. 93 00:05:00,067 --> 00:05:03,067 THERE'S DUCKIES. 94 00:05:03,067 --> 00:05:04,500 OH, YEAH. 95 00:05:08,200 --> 00:05:10,500 OH, LOOK, THERE'S SOME BABIES OVER THERE. 96 00:05:10,500 --> 00:05:12,367 WHERE? RIGHT THERE. 97 00:05:12,367 --> 00:05:13,433 THEY'RE SO CUTE! 98 00:05:13,433 --> 00:05:16,900 AW, I JUST WANT TO CUDDLE THEM. 99 00:05:16,900 --> 00:05:19,067 Zsalynn: I HAD WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY 100 00:05:19,067 --> 00:05:21,933 SO THAT I COULD HAVE A LIFE WITH MY DAUGHTER, 101 00:05:21,933 --> 00:05:24,533 SO THAT I COULD DO THINGS WITH HER. 102 00:05:24,533 --> 00:05:29,067 NOW THAT I CAN STAND AND WALK, I CAN BE PART OF HER LIFE. 103 00:05:29,067 --> 00:05:30,133 SORRY! 104 00:05:30,133 --> 00:05:33,667 BEFORE, I WOULD JUST BE A BYSTANDER. 105 00:05:33,667 --> 00:05:36,700 I'VE MISSED OUT ON SO MUCH. 106 00:05:39,267 --> 00:05:44,133 AND NOW JUST BEING THERE FOR HER, 107 00:05:44,133 --> 00:05:47,200 IT'S AN AMAZING FEELING. 108 00:05:47,200 --> 00:05:48,367 COME ON. 109 00:05:48,367 --> 00:05:50,933 ISN'T THAT FUNNY? ADORABLE. 110 00:05:50,933 --> 00:05:52,367 I HAVE TO STAY ON TRACK 111 00:05:52,367 --> 00:05:55,067 SO I CAN KEEP HAVING THESE AMAZING MOMENTS 112 00:05:55,067 --> 00:05:56,200 WITH MY DAUGHTER. 113 00:05:59,067 --> 00:06:02,600 BUT ALONG WITH THE GOOD THINGS WITH THE WEIGHT LOSS, 114 00:06:02,600 --> 00:06:05,667 THERE HAVE BEEN SOME HARD THINGS. 115 00:06:05,667 --> 00:06:09,200 GARETH WAS NEVER TRULY HAPPY ABOUT MY WEIGHT LOSS. 116 00:06:09,200 --> 00:06:11,100 I'D RATHER HAVE A SALAD. 117 00:06:11,100 --> 00:06:12,200 I'M NOT BUYING YOU A SALAD. 118 00:06:12,200 --> 00:06:13,233 IF YOU WANT TO EAT GRASS, 119 00:06:13,233 --> 00:06:14,633 YOU CAN GO IN THE GARDEN AND GRAZE. 120 00:06:14,633 --> 00:06:18,733 THINGS WITH GARETH AND I HAVE NOT BEEN GOOD, 121 00:06:18,733 --> 00:06:22,900 AND IT'S CONTINUED TO DRIVE A RIFT BETWEEN US. 122 00:06:28,200 --> 00:06:33,067 I CHANGED IN A WAY THAT HE DOESN'T LIKE. 123 00:06:33,067 --> 00:06:34,600 BYE. 124 00:06:34,600 --> 00:06:36,433 YOU'RE LEAVING ALREADY? 125 00:06:36,433 --> 00:06:38,767 IT'S BEEN HARD TO STAY THE COURSE 126 00:06:38,767 --> 00:06:42,500 WHEN MY HUSBAND HASN'T BEEN SUPPORTIVE AT ALL. 127 00:06:42,500 --> 00:06:43,767 DRIVE CAREFUL. 128 00:06:47,133 --> 00:06:48,633 I WANT TO GET HEALTHY, 129 00:06:48,633 --> 00:06:51,833 BUT HE DOESN'T WANT ME TO LOSE THE WEIGHT. 130 00:06:51,833 --> 00:06:57,400 HE RECENTLY TOLD ME HE WANTS ME TO GAIN SOME WEIGHT BACK. 131 00:06:57,400 --> 00:07:01,100 I'M NOT PHYSICALLY OR MENTALLY THE WOMAN HE MARRIED. 132 00:07:01,100 --> 00:07:04,833 HE'S NO LONGER ATTRACTED TO ME NOW THAT I'VE LOST THE WEIGHT. 133 00:07:04,833 --> 00:07:09,633 IT'S PUT A LOT OF STRAIN ON OUR MARRIAGE. 134 00:07:09,633 --> 00:07:15,433 AND IT'S AFFECTED MY WEIGHT LOSS AND MY PROGRESS. 135 00:07:15,433 --> 00:07:18,633 IT'S EITHER MAKE MY HUSBAND HAPPY 136 00:07:18,633 --> 00:07:21,767 OR GET HEALTHY FOR MY DAUGHTER. 137 00:07:21,767 --> 00:07:24,367 I CAN'T DO BOTH. 138 00:07:24,367 --> 00:07:26,567 I DIDN'T THINK I WOULD HAVE TO MAKE THIS DECISION. 139 00:07:34,167 --> 00:07:36,733 Christina: I'M TRAPPED INSIDE THIS BODY THAT I DON'T WANT TO BE IN. 140 00:07:36,733 --> 00:07:39,267 Woman: SHE TELLS ME THAT SHE'S A BURDEN TO ME, 141 00:07:39,267 --> 00:07:40,667 BUT SHE'S NOT A BURDEN. 142 00:07:40,667 --> 00:07:41,900 SHE'S MY PRIDE AND JOY. 143 00:07:41,900 --> 00:07:43,100 Jessica: [ Voice breaking ] MY FEAR IS 144 00:07:43,100 --> 00:07:45,400 THAT SHE MIGHT GO TO SLEEP AND NEVER WAKE UP. 145 00:07:48,900 --> 00:07:52,100 Christina: MY WEIGHT IS OUT OF CONTROL. 146 00:07:52,100 --> 00:07:55,100 Dr. Nowzaradan: SHE IS NOT TOO FAR FROM IMMINENT DEATH. 147 00:07:55,100 --> 00:07:59,167 THIS IS A DYSFUNCTIONAL FAMILY DYNAMIC. 148 00:07:59,167 --> 00:08:03,200 WE NEED TO SEPARATE CHRISTINA FROM HER ENABLER. 149 00:08:03,200 --> 00:08:05,700 Christina: I'M READY TO CHANGE. I DON'T WANT TO DIE. 150 00:08:09,567 --> 00:08:11,267 IT'S BEEN A HARD FEW MONTHS. 151 00:08:11,267 --> 00:08:13,067 BUT I THINK IT'S COMPLETELY PAYING OFF. 152 00:08:13,067 --> 00:08:14,467 BE CAREFUL, BABY. 153 00:08:14,467 --> 00:08:16,667 [ LAUGHS ] YOU A LITTLE NERVOUS ABOUT NOT BEING IN CONTROL? 154 00:08:18,600 --> 00:08:20,067 DON'T START CRYING! 155 00:08:20,067 --> 00:08:22,333 [ Voice breaking ] I'M HAPPY. 156 00:08:22,333 --> 00:08:24,433 Christina: I'M PRETTY DAMN PROUD OF MYSELF. 157 00:08:24,433 --> 00:08:27,067 I FINALLY FEEL LIKE I'M GETTING MY FREEDOM BACK. 158 00:08:45,433 --> 00:08:47,800 LIFE IS SO MUCH BETTER NOW. 159 00:08:47,800 --> 00:08:52,067 IT HAS BEEN SUCH A DRASTIC CHANGE. 160 00:08:52,067 --> 00:08:54,733 IT WAS HUMILIATING TO HAVE SOMEONE 161 00:08:54,733 --> 00:08:57,567 HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF YOU ALL THE TIME. 162 00:08:57,567 --> 00:08:59,500 Zach: I HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF CHRISTINA 163 00:08:59,500 --> 00:09:01,367 IN THE FORMS OF CLEANING HER. 164 00:09:01,367 --> 00:09:03,333 IF SHE EVEN GOES TO THE BATHROOM, YOU KNOW, 165 00:09:03,333 --> 00:09:06,133 I HAVE TO HELP HER IN THERE. 166 00:09:06,133 --> 00:09:08,633 Christina: TO HAVE TO HAVE SOMEONE ELSE BATHE YOU 167 00:09:08,633 --> 00:09:12,733 AND HELP YOU GO TO THE BATHROOM, IT WAS EMBARRASSING. 168 00:09:12,733 --> 00:09:16,533 I'M VERY EXCITED TO FIND OUT WHAT EXACTLY I'M CAPABLE OF 169 00:09:16,533 --> 00:09:18,400 AND FIND OUT WHO I AM. 170 00:09:18,400 --> 00:09:21,133 THANK YOU FOR COOKING. YEAH, THANK YOU. 171 00:09:21,133 --> 00:09:23,900 I LOVE MY LIFE. 172 00:09:23,900 --> 00:09:27,533 I HAVE A LITTLE NEPHEW NOW THAT I ADORE. 173 00:09:27,533 --> 00:09:30,567 I LOVE THAT I CAN TAKE CARE OF HIM WHEN I'M NEEDED. 174 00:09:30,567 --> 00:09:32,367 IT'S THE BEST PART OF MY LIFE NOW. 175 00:09:32,367 --> 00:09:34,367 BEFORE I LOST THE WEIGHT, 176 00:09:34,367 --> 00:09:37,633 I WOULDN'T HAVE EVEN BEEN ABLE TO HOLD HIM. 177 00:09:37,633 --> 00:09:41,367 BUT NOW I CAN DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO KEEP UP WITH HIM. 178 00:09:41,367 --> 00:09:43,133 COME ON, LET'S GO READ. WANT TO GO READ? 179 00:09:44,767 --> 00:09:47,200 OH, NO. HE'S SLEEPY. 180 00:09:47,200 --> 00:09:49,500 NOW I JUST WANT TO GET OUT IN THE WORLD 181 00:09:49,500 --> 00:09:51,567 AND SEE AND DO EVERYTHING I CAN. 182 00:09:51,567 --> 00:09:52,767 [ LAUGHS ] 183 00:09:52,767 --> 00:09:55,700 WHEN YOU LIVE LIFE TRAPPED AND HIDDEN AWAY, 184 00:09:55,700 --> 00:09:56,967 ALL YOU DREAM ABOUT 185 00:09:56,967 --> 00:09:59,467 IS BEING ABLE TO GO OUT AND DO SOMETHING NEW. 186 00:09:59,467 --> 00:10:01,367 GO TO NANA. COME ON. 187 00:10:01,367 --> 00:10:03,300 AND NOW I CAN. 188 00:10:03,300 --> 00:10:05,300 JESS, COME ON. 189 00:10:08,100 --> 00:10:11,133 MY SISTER JESSIE HAS BEEN A GREAT SUPPORT TO ME. 190 00:10:11,133 --> 00:10:12,733 SHE PUSHES ME TO GET OUT THERE 191 00:10:12,733 --> 00:10:16,600 AND DO WAY MORE THAN I WOULD ON MY OWN. 192 00:10:16,600 --> 00:10:18,233 Jessica: YOU EXCITED ABOUT THE BEACH? 193 00:10:18,233 --> 00:10:19,300 YEAH, I'M EXCITED. 194 00:10:19,300 --> 00:10:22,067 YOU GOING SWIMMING? YEAH. 195 00:10:27,400 --> 00:10:29,067 Christina: IT MEANS A LOT TO ME TO BE ABLE TO DO THIS WITH MY SISTER. 196 00:10:29,067 --> 00:10:30,400 I MEAN, BEFORE, 197 00:10:30,400 --> 00:10:32,500 WE WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN ABLE TO DO SOMETHING LIKE THIS. 198 00:10:32,500 --> 00:10:34,400 IT PROBABLY WOULD'VE BEEN HER GOING DOWN THERE, 199 00:10:34,400 --> 00:10:36,900 ENJOYING HERSELF, YOU KNOW, 200 00:10:36,900 --> 00:10:40,100 AND ME WAITING AT HOME TO HEAR HOW IT WENT. 201 00:10:45,233 --> 00:10:48,833 TO ME, THIS IS NEW. THIS IS ALL NEW. 202 00:10:48,833 --> 00:10:50,067 [ LAUGHS ] 203 00:10:50,067 --> 00:10:51,267 COME ON. 204 00:10:51,267 --> 00:10:52,767 COME ON. HOLD ON. 205 00:10:52,767 --> 00:10:54,867 [ LAUGHS ] WHAT IF I FALL, DUDE? 206 00:10:54,867 --> 00:10:56,967 YOU'RE NOT. COME ON. 207 00:10:56,967 --> 00:10:58,267 I STILL HAVE MOMENTS 208 00:10:58,267 --> 00:11:01,067 WHERE I STRUGGLE WITH FEAR AND INSECURITY. 209 00:11:01,067 --> 00:11:03,233 I WANT TO JUST CHICKEN OUT ON THINGS. 210 00:11:03,233 --> 00:11:06,200 BUT MY SISTER PUSHES ME FORWARD. 211 00:11:06,200 --> 00:11:11,133 THE BEST PART IS JUST BEING ABLE TO GET OUT AND DO THINGS, 212 00:11:11,133 --> 00:11:13,633 AND BE ABLE TO COME SWIMMING AT THE BEACH WITH HER. 213 00:11:13,633 --> 00:11:16,700 LAST YEAR, WE COULDN'T HAVE DONE THAT. 214 00:11:20,967 --> 00:11:22,700 Christina: EVERY NEW EXPERIENCE 215 00:11:22,700 --> 00:11:24,067 JUST MAKES ME WANT A LITTLE BIT MORE. 216 00:11:24,067 --> 00:11:25,367 DID YOU ENJOY TODAY? I SURE DID. 217 00:11:25,367 --> 00:11:29,067 I'D LIKE TO COME BACK AFTER YOU HEAL FROM YOUR NEXT SURGERY. 218 00:11:29,067 --> 00:11:30,967 OH, YEAH. DEFINITELY. 219 00:11:30,967 --> 00:11:32,267 Christina: SHE IS MY BEST FRIEND, 220 00:11:32,267 --> 00:11:35,467 AND I'M SO HAPPY I CAN SPEND TIME WITH HER NOW. 221 00:11:35,467 --> 00:11:37,200 BUT THERE HAVE BEEN OTHERS 222 00:11:37,200 --> 00:11:40,467 THAT HAVEN'T BEEN SO MUCH OF A SUPPORT IN MY LIFE, 223 00:11:40,467 --> 00:11:43,967 AND I'VE HAD TO DEAL WITH THAT. 224 00:11:43,967 --> 00:11:47,867 ZACH WAS A GOOD HUSBAND AT ONE POINT IN TIME. 225 00:11:47,867 --> 00:11:51,067 STOP TOUCHING ME. 226 00:11:52,767 --> 00:11:55,933 IT BECAME CLEAR THAT ME BECOMING INDEPENDENT 227 00:11:55,933 --> 00:11:58,800 WAS NOT GOING TO WORK FOR HIM. 228 00:11:58,800 --> 00:12:01,700 ZACH NEVER THOUGHT I'D MAKE IT THIS FAR. 229 00:12:01,700 --> 00:12:04,233 AND IT'S KIND OF HARD TO, LIKE, BELIEVE IN YOURSELF 230 00:12:04,233 --> 00:12:07,200 WHEN YOU CONSTANTLY HAVE SOMEONE TELLING YOU, "OH, YOU CAN'T." 231 00:12:07,200 --> 00:12:12,133 SO I HAD TO MAKE A CHOICE TO TAKE CARE OF MYSELF. 232 00:12:15,600 --> 00:12:17,633 IF SOMEONE'S NOT GONNA SUPPORT THAT, 233 00:12:17,633 --> 00:12:22,200 THEN I HAVE TO MOVE ON WITHOUT THEM. 234 00:12:22,200 --> 00:12:25,967 ZACH AND I ARE GETTING A DIVORCE. 235 00:12:25,967 --> 00:12:29,967 I'M LOSING WEIGHT A LOT FASTER NOW THAT HE'S GONE. 236 00:12:29,967 --> 00:12:32,067 BUT THE EXCESS SKIN I HAVE 237 00:12:32,067 --> 00:12:34,067 IS REALLY GETTING IN THE WAY OF MY PROGRESS. 238 00:12:34,067 --> 00:12:38,667 THE LYMPHEDEMA MASS RIGHT HERE, IT'S PRETTY BIG, 239 00:12:38,667 --> 00:12:43,633 AND IT, I MEAN, JUST HANGS THERE TO THE SIDE. 240 00:12:43,633 --> 00:12:47,533 ALL THE EXCESS SKIN RIGHT HERE, AND THEN MY BAT WINGS. 241 00:12:47,533 --> 00:12:50,167 IT'S UGLY TO ME. HIDEOUS. 242 00:12:50,167 --> 00:12:52,500 I'LL BE GLAD WHEN IT'S OFF. 243 00:12:52,500 --> 00:12:56,767 THE EXCESS SKIN REALLY GETS IN THE WAY OF MY PROGRESS, 244 00:12:56,767 --> 00:12:59,567 BUT THE DOCTOR WANTS ME TO GET DOWN TO 350 245 00:12:59,567 --> 00:13:02,667 BEFORE HE'S GONNA QUALIFY ME FOR SKIN SURGERY. 246 00:13:02,667 --> 00:13:05,367 SO I'M GONNA WORK HARD AND GET TO THAT WEIGHT. 247 00:13:05,367 --> 00:13:07,100 I'LL STOP AT NOTHING. 248 00:13:20,833 --> 00:13:24,100 TODAY, I HAVE A CHECK-IN WITH DR. NOWZARADAN. 249 00:13:24,100 --> 00:13:28,467 I HAVEN'T BEEN ON A SCALE PROBABLY IN A FEW MONTHS, 250 00:13:28,467 --> 00:13:31,167 BECAUSE MY LIFE IS NOW ABOUT BEING HEALTHY, 251 00:13:31,167 --> 00:13:33,400 AND THAT INCLUDES A MENTAL HEALTH. 252 00:13:33,400 --> 00:13:35,333 AND I THINK IT'S REALLY HARD 253 00:13:35,333 --> 00:13:38,400 NOT TO JUDGE YOURSELF BY THAT NUMBER. 254 00:13:38,400 --> 00:13:41,933 THAT NUMBER IS NOT INDICATIVE 255 00:13:41,933 --> 00:13:45,900 OF HOW I FEEL AND HOW MY BODY IS DOING. 256 00:13:47,833 --> 00:13:50,233 ARE YOU GONNA LOOK? NO. 257 00:13:53,433 --> 00:13:56,400 THE DOCTOR MAY WANT ME TO GO FASTER, 258 00:13:56,400 --> 00:13:58,833 BUT I'M GOOD WITH THE WAY I AM. 259 00:13:58,833 --> 00:14:00,267 HEY, ZSALYNN. HOW YOU DOING? 260 00:14:00,267 --> 00:14:01,467 HI. I'M GOOD, THANKS. 261 00:14:01,467 --> 00:14:05,500 ALL RIGHT, SO, FROM DAY ONE I SAW YOU, 262 00:14:05,500 --> 00:14:07,867 YOU LOST 286 POUNDS. 263 00:14:07,867 --> 00:14:10,833 WOW. THAT'S AWESOME. I FEEL AMAZING. 264 00:14:10,833 --> 00:14:12,067 HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT 265 00:14:12,067 --> 00:14:14,533 TO TAKE SOME EXTRA SKIN OFF OF YOUR ABDOMEN? 266 00:14:14,533 --> 00:14:17,300 NO, NO. IT'S NOT SKIN. IT'S STILL FAT. 267 00:14:17,300 --> 00:14:19,667 NO SKIN THERE. IT'S STILL NICE AND FULL OF FAT. 268 00:14:19,667 --> 00:14:21,200 EVERYTHING IS GREAT. 269 00:14:21,200 --> 00:14:22,533 IT'S PERFECT. 270 00:14:22,533 --> 00:14:25,800 ZSALYNN GET A LOT OF EXCESS SKIN, 271 00:14:25,800 --> 00:14:28,067 AND THIS IS VERY UNCOMFORTABLE. 272 00:14:28,067 --> 00:14:30,067 SHE SAYS SHE FEELS FINE, 273 00:14:30,067 --> 00:14:33,467 BUT ZSALYNN ISN'T BEING COMPLETELY HONEST. 274 00:14:33,467 --> 00:14:36,567 HOW IS EVERYTHING AT HOME? 275 00:14:36,567 --> 00:14:39,067 HOW IS THE SUPPORT THERE? 276 00:14:39,067 --> 00:14:40,900 I SUPPORT MYSELF. 277 00:14:40,900 --> 00:14:44,367 THAT'S ALL THAT MATTERS. I AM MY OWN SUPPORT SYSTEM. 278 00:14:44,367 --> 00:14:46,367 HOW ABOUT YOUR HUSBAND? 279 00:14:46,367 --> 00:14:48,067 HE WISHES I WOULD GAIN SOME WEIGHT. 280 00:14:48,067 --> 00:14:49,867 GAIN SOME WEIGHT? YES. 281 00:14:49,867 --> 00:14:51,300 [ LAUGHS ] 282 00:14:51,300 --> 00:14:54,267 SO, YOU KNOW, IT'S JUST ONE OF THOSE THINGS. 283 00:14:54,267 --> 00:14:56,367 IT IS UNFORTUNATE 284 00:14:56,367 --> 00:14:59,533 TO HAVE SOMEONE THAT ENCOURAGE FAILURE AT HOME. 285 00:14:59,533 --> 00:15:02,067 IT'S A TOXIC SITUATION. 286 00:15:02,067 --> 00:15:05,067 I THINK LACK OF SUPPORT FROM HER HUSBAND 287 00:15:05,067 --> 00:15:10,433 IS LIKELY THE REASON SHE'S HESITANT TO MOVE FORWARD. 288 00:15:10,433 --> 00:15:11,833 THANK YOU. 289 00:15:11,833 --> 00:15:14,067 NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN. NICE TO SEE YOU, TOO. 290 00:15:14,067 --> 00:15:16,067 I WILL GIVE HER A COUPLE MONTHS. 291 00:15:16,067 --> 00:15:19,600 ZSALYNN IS CLOSE TO MAKING A DECISION 292 00:15:19,600 --> 00:15:22,833 THAT WILL UNDO ALL HER HARD WORK. 293 00:15:25,433 --> 00:15:29,633 Zsalynn: I'M HAPPY WITH THE PACE THAT I'M LOSING WEIGHT, 294 00:15:29,633 --> 00:15:32,333 AND I DON'T FEEL LIKE SKIN SURGERY 295 00:15:32,333 --> 00:15:35,267 IS THE RIGHT OPTION FOR ME RIGHT NOW. 296 00:15:41,700 --> 00:15:46,667 Christina: I AM SEEKING HELP FOR THE PROBLEMS THAT I HAVE. 297 00:15:46,667 --> 00:15:51,100 THAT WAY, I CAN GET THEM UNDER CONTROL 298 00:15:51,100 --> 00:15:54,567 AND EVENTUALLY REACH MY GOAL. 299 00:15:54,567 --> 00:15:57,533 TODAY, I'M GOING TO MY LYMPHEDEMA APPOINTMENT. 300 00:16:03,067 --> 00:16:05,833 HOW ARE YOU FEELING? YOUR LEGS ARE DOING GOOD? 301 00:16:08,933 --> 00:16:11,333 I'LL HAVE LYMPHEDEMA FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE. 302 00:16:11,333 --> 00:16:13,667 THERE'S NO CURE FOR IT CURRENTLY. 303 00:16:13,667 --> 00:16:16,667 IF MY LYMPHEDEMA GOES UNTREATED, 304 00:16:16,667 --> 00:16:20,433 IT WILL HINDER ME FROM BEING ABLE TO WALK. 305 00:16:20,433 --> 00:16:23,300 IT'LL START GROWING, MASSES WILL COME UP, 306 00:16:23,300 --> 00:16:25,600 AND THEN I'LL BE RIGHT BACK WHERE I STARTED. 307 00:16:25,600 --> 00:16:27,267 PART OF THE REASON WHY I GOT TO 700 POUNDS 308 00:16:27,267 --> 00:16:30,533 WAS BECAUSE I'D HAD TWO HUGE MASSES 309 00:16:30,533 --> 00:16:31,867 AND I COULDN'T WALK. 310 00:16:31,867 --> 00:16:34,667 YOU'VE MADE A LOT OF PROGRESS. 311 00:16:34,667 --> 00:16:37,167 I'M DETERMINED NOT TO LET THAT EVER HAPPEN AGAIN. 312 00:16:39,067 --> 00:16:40,967 I'M TRYING TO DO EVERYTHING I CAN 313 00:16:40,967 --> 00:16:43,200 TO LOSE THE WEIGHT THE DOCTOR TOLD ME I HAVE TO LOSE 314 00:16:43,200 --> 00:16:45,633 WHERE I QUALIFY FOR SKIN SURGERY. 315 00:16:48,800 --> 00:16:51,067 [ MACHINE BEEPING ] 316 00:16:51,067 --> 00:16:52,167 THANK YOU. 317 00:16:52,167 --> 00:16:54,067 YOU'RE VERY WELCOME. 318 00:16:54,067 --> 00:16:55,500 ANYTHING ELSE I CAN GET YOU RIGHT NOW? 319 00:16:55,500 --> 00:16:56,567 NO, I'M FINE. 320 00:16:59,200 --> 00:17:01,700 IT'S JUST KIND OF LIKE A MASSAGE. 321 00:17:01,700 --> 00:17:04,067 IT HELPS MAINTAIN THE SWELLING. 322 00:17:04,067 --> 00:17:06,267 YOU KNOW A BLOOD-PRESSURE CUFF? 323 00:17:06,267 --> 00:17:10,633 WELL, DOES HAVING YOUR BLOOD PRESSURE TAKEN FEEL GOOD? 324 00:17:10,633 --> 00:17:12,767 SOMETIMES. 325 00:17:12,767 --> 00:17:15,067 YOU'RE WEIRD. [ LAUGHS ] 326 00:17:15,067 --> 00:17:18,233 IN ORDER FOR ME TO MAINTAIN A NORMAL LIFE... 327 00:17:23,333 --> 00:17:25,267 I'LL BE GLAD WHEN THIS ONE'S GONE. 328 00:17:25,267 --> 00:17:26,533 BEFORE THE WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY, 329 00:17:26,533 --> 00:17:29,100 I WOULD NOT HAVE BEEN ABLE TO DO THIS. 330 00:17:29,100 --> 00:17:31,367 BACK HOME, THEY DIDN'T HAVE ANY PLACE 331 00:17:31,367 --> 00:17:34,567 THAT EVEN KNEW WHAT LYMPHEDEMA WAS, SO... 332 00:17:37,533 --> 00:17:39,667 SLIP THESE OFF. 333 00:17:41,067 --> 00:17:45,233 MY LEGS FEEL REALLY GOOD RIGHT NOW. 334 00:17:45,233 --> 00:17:48,067 THEY ALWAYS FEEL A LOT BETTER AFTER TREATMENT. 335 00:17:48,067 --> 00:17:49,467 THANK YOU. 336 00:17:49,467 --> 00:17:51,767 AFTER SPENDING SO LONG BEING MISERABLE 337 00:17:51,767 --> 00:17:54,067 AND NOT HAVING THE CHANCE TO GET OUT, 338 00:17:54,067 --> 00:17:55,433 MY MENTALITY IS 339 00:17:55,433 --> 00:17:57,833 THAT I AM WILLING TO DO ANYTHING IT TAKES. 340 00:17:57,833 --> 00:18:01,867 AND NOW I HAVE OPPORTUNITIES TO DO WHAT I NEED TO DO, 341 00:18:01,867 --> 00:18:03,933 AND I'M GONNA DO IT. 342 00:18:17,067 --> 00:18:18,500 Zsalynn: HANNAH. 343 00:18:18,500 --> 00:18:21,233 IT'S TIME TO GET UP. 344 00:18:21,233 --> 00:18:24,533 I'M TOO TIRED. 345 00:18:24,533 --> 00:18:26,367 IT'S A SCHOOL DAY. 346 00:18:26,367 --> 00:18:28,167 I KNOW. 347 00:18:28,167 --> 00:18:30,967 Zsalynn: THE DYNAMICS HERE AT HOME HAVE CHANGED A LOT. 348 00:18:30,967 --> 00:18:32,067 I KNOW. 349 00:18:32,067 --> 00:18:33,900 COME ON, HANNAH. LET'S GO. 350 00:18:33,900 --> 00:18:37,300 I'VE BEEN SLEEPING IN HANNAH'S ROOM. 351 00:18:37,300 --> 00:18:42,433 NOW GARETH AND I LIVE COMPLETELY SEPARATE LIVES. 352 00:18:42,433 --> 00:18:44,967 YOUR BACKPACK IS IN THE CAR. 353 00:18:44,967 --> 00:18:46,733 LET ME GRAB MY SHOES. 354 00:18:46,733 --> 00:18:50,233 I REALLY HARDLY EVER SEE HIM. OUR PATHS DON'T CROSS. 355 00:18:52,100 --> 00:18:54,133 OKAY, YOU READY? YEAH. 356 00:18:54,133 --> 00:18:56,233 THIS WEIGHT-LOSS JOURNEY 357 00:18:56,233 --> 00:19:00,333 HAS REALLY FORCED ME TO LOOK INSIDE MYSELF. 358 00:19:03,867 --> 00:19:05,633 I DESERVE TO BE HAPPY. 359 00:19:05,633 --> 00:19:07,800 GARETH DESERVES TO BE HAPPY. 360 00:19:07,800 --> 00:19:10,900 AND THINGS ARE NOT GOOD RIGHT NOW. 361 00:19:10,900 --> 00:19:16,133 I HAVE A LOT OF STUFF TO WORK THROUGH. 362 00:19:16,133 --> 00:19:19,333 I'VE STARTED LOOKING FOR A THERAPIST 363 00:19:19,333 --> 00:19:21,767 THAT WILL HELP ME UNDERSTAND. 364 00:19:21,767 --> 00:19:24,200 I FEEL LIKE I'M AT A CROSSROADS. 365 00:19:24,200 --> 00:19:28,733 I'M NOT SURE HOW WE WOULD RECONCILE AT THIS POINT. 366 00:19:47,633 --> 00:19:51,367 Christina: TODAY, I'M GOING TO SEE IF I'VE LOST ENOUGH WEIGHT 367 00:19:51,367 --> 00:19:53,267 TO QUALIFY FOR MY NEXT BIG SKIN SURGERY. 368 00:19:55,500 --> 00:19:56,933 I'M NERVOUS. 369 00:19:58,667 --> 00:20:01,667 THE DOCTOR SAID I'D HAVE TO MAKE IT DOWN TO 350 POUNDS 370 00:20:01,667 --> 00:20:04,667 BEFORE HE'D APPROVE ME. 371 00:20:04,667 --> 00:20:08,233 I'VE WORKED HARD TO GET TO THIS GOAL. 372 00:20:08,233 --> 00:20:10,400 I NEED THE SURGERY, AND IF I DON'T GET IT, 373 00:20:10,400 --> 00:20:12,800 I'M SCARED IT'S GONNA SET ME BACK FOR TOO LONG. 374 00:20:16,333 --> 00:20:19,033 SERIOUSLY? AWESOME. 375 00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:23,033 I KNOW I'M READY FOR THE NEXT STEP. 376 00:20:23,033 --> 00:20:26,167 I JUST HOPE THE DOCTOR THINKS I'M READY FOR THE NEXT STEP. 377 00:20:26,167 --> 00:20:29,233 I NEED THIS SURGERY. 378 00:20:29,233 --> 00:20:32,300 HEY, CHRISTINA. I DIDN'T RECOGNIZE YOU. 379 00:20:32,300 --> 00:20:33,400 HEY. 380 00:20:33,400 --> 00:20:36,067 SO, YOU'VE BEEN DOING GOOD WITH YOUR DIET, HUH? 381 00:20:36,067 --> 00:20:39,133 HOW ABOUT YOUR EXERCISE AND ACTIVITY? 382 00:20:39,133 --> 00:20:40,367 REALLY GOOD WITH THAT. 383 00:20:40,367 --> 00:20:42,800 I WALK ALL THE TIME. I'M DOING THINGS FOR MYSELF. 384 00:20:42,800 --> 00:20:47,033 OKAY. NOW LET ME CHECK YOUR STOMACH AND SEE HOW THINGS ARE. 385 00:20:47,033 --> 00:20:50,800 Dr. Nowzaradan: THIS SURGERY IS GONNA BE DIFFICULT FOR HER 386 00:20:50,800 --> 00:20:56,033 BECAUSE A LARGE AMOUNT OF SKIN NEED TO BE REMOVED. 387 00:20:56,033 --> 00:20:58,900 EVERYBODY HAS A DIFFERENT TOLERANCE TO PAIN. 388 00:20:58,900 --> 00:21:01,833 CHRISTINA HAS VERY LITTLE TOLERANCE TO PAIN. 389 00:21:01,833 --> 00:21:03,467 ANY STOMACH PAIN OR ANYTHING? 390 00:21:03,467 --> 00:21:06,667 THIS WILL BE A COMPLICATED SURGERY, 391 00:21:06,667 --> 00:21:09,867 AND IT'S GOING TO BE TOUGH FOR HER. 392 00:21:09,867 --> 00:21:12,067 OKAY. 393 00:21:12,067 --> 00:21:14,567 WELL, YOU KNOW, IT'S GONNA BE A BIG OPERATION. 394 00:21:14,567 --> 00:21:16,567 IT'S GONNA TAKE AT LEAST SIX HOUR. 395 00:21:16,567 --> 00:21:20,633 BUT THIS EXTRA SKIN IS GONNA BE A PROBLEM FOR YOU RIGHT NOW, 396 00:21:20,633 --> 00:21:24,400 SO I'M GO AHEAD AND SET YOU UP FOR SKIN SURGERY. 397 00:21:24,400 --> 00:21:25,800 THAT'S AWESOME. OKAY. 398 00:21:25,800 --> 00:21:26,833 THANK YOU SO MUCH. 399 00:21:26,833 --> 00:21:28,367 ALL RIGHT. YOU'RE WELCOME. 400 00:21:28,367 --> 00:21:30,133 I CAN'T WAIT TO LOOK DOWN 401 00:21:30,133 --> 00:21:32,833 AND NOT SEE SOMETHING THAT'S PAINFUL. 402 00:21:32,833 --> 00:21:34,400 AND THEN, NO MATTER HOW HARD I WORKED, 403 00:21:34,400 --> 00:21:36,700 THERE WAS NO WAY I WAS GONNA GET RID OF THIS SKIN ON MY OWN. 404 00:21:38,800 --> 00:21:40,100 I CAN'T WAIT. 405 00:21:45,200 --> 00:21:46,900 Zsalynn: THIS JOURNEY, 406 00:21:46,900 --> 00:21:50,067 IT'S ABOUT MAKING MYSELF A BETTER PERSON. 407 00:21:50,067 --> 00:21:52,700 NOT JUST ABOUT BEING HEALTHY PHYSICALLY, 408 00:21:52,700 --> 00:21:54,600 BUT GETTING HEALTHY MENTALLY. 409 00:21:56,533 --> 00:21:59,200 I KNOW IT'S TIME TO WRESTLE WITH SOME DEMONS 410 00:21:59,200 --> 00:22:03,433 THAT I'VE AVOIDED FOR TOO LONG. 411 00:22:03,433 --> 00:22:06,600 NOW THAT WE DON'T SEE EACH OTHER MUCH, 412 00:22:06,600 --> 00:22:07,933 I'M REALIZING HOW MUCH 413 00:22:07,933 --> 00:22:10,300 THE DISGUSTING THINGS GARETH WOULD SAY 414 00:22:10,300 --> 00:22:12,433 REALLY AFFECTED ME. 415 00:22:12,433 --> 00:22:15,467 SO TODAY I'M GOING TO SEE A THERAPIST. 416 00:22:20,667 --> 00:22:22,167 Madorsky: WELL, WELCOME. 417 00:22:22,167 --> 00:22:26,400 SO, LET'S START WITH KIND OF WHERE ARE YOU RIGHT NOW? 418 00:22:26,400 --> 00:22:27,567 HOW ARE YOU? 419 00:22:27,567 --> 00:22:29,767 YOU KNOW, I FEEL LIKE, 420 00:22:29,767 --> 00:22:33,833 WHILE THINGS ON ONE HAND ARE REALLY GOOD, 421 00:22:33,833 --> 00:22:36,800 I STILL HAVE THINGS THAT REALLY BOTHER ME, 422 00:22:36,800 --> 00:22:41,533 MAKE ME WANT TO JUST GO AND, YOU KNOW, EAT WHATEVER. 423 00:22:50,833 --> 00:22:53,267 [ SNIFFLES ] 424 00:22:53,267 --> 00:22:54,833 I FEEL MAD. 425 00:22:54,833 --> 00:22:56,100 [ CHUCKLES ] 426 00:22:56,100 --> 00:22:57,833 GOOD. WHAT DO YOU FEEL MAD ABOUT? 427 00:22:57,833 --> 00:23:02,067 I JUST DON'T FEEL VERY LOVEABLE, I GUESS. 428 00:23:02,067 --> 00:23:04,067 I THINK IF I SEE SOMEONE 429 00:23:04,067 --> 00:23:06,233 WHO APPEARS TO REALLY LOVE THEMSELF, 430 00:23:06,233 --> 00:23:08,067 I THINK THEY'RE JUST FAKING. 431 00:23:08,067 --> 00:23:09,833 HMM. I FAKE MY WHOLE LIFE. 432 00:23:09,833 --> 00:23:13,067 SO MAYBE I FEEL LIKE EVERYONE ELSE FAKES THEIR LIFE, TOO. 433 00:23:13,067 --> 00:23:15,867 [ Crying ] YOU KNOW, IT'S FUNNY, 434 00:23:15,867 --> 00:23:18,967 I JUST WANT TO FEEL LIKE SOMEBODY LOVES ME. 435 00:23:18,967 --> 00:23:23,500 THAT'S SO STUPID. I FEEL SO STUPID SAYING THAT. 436 00:23:23,500 --> 00:23:25,633 WELL, I'M SORRY YOU FEEL STUPID. 437 00:23:25,633 --> 00:23:29,500 THAT'S, LIKE, THE MOST NORMAL THING ON THE PLANET. 438 00:23:29,500 --> 00:23:32,167 YEAH. 439 00:23:32,167 --> 00:23:34,333 [ SOBS ] 440 00:23:34,333 --> 00:23:36,933 WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF YOU DECIDED 441 00:23:36,933 --> 00:23:39,733 TO GO OUT IN THE WORLD AND BE REAL? 442 00:23:39,733 --> 00:23:44,333 I GUESS I'VE JUST BEEN PRETENDING SO LONG, 443 00:23:44,333 --> 00:23:47,333 I DON'T KNOW HOW NOT TO. 444 00:23:47,333 --> 00:23:49,533 THE MORE HONEST WE ARE WITH OURSELVES, 445 00:23:49,533 --> 00:23:52,067 IT SEEMS LIKE THE MORE LOVE CAN COME IN. 446 00:23:52,067 --> 00:23:58,067 'CAUSE INSTEAD OF TRYING TO LOVE A PRETEND VERSION OF OURSELVES, 447 00:23:58,067 --> 00:24:01,567 WE GET TO LOVE, LIKE, THE ACTUAL VERSION OF OURSELVES. 448 00:24:05,400 --> 00:24:06,867 ZSALYNN. 449 00:24:06,867 --> 00:24:08,067 RACHEL. THANK YOU. 450 00:24:08,067 --> 00:24:09,967 IT WAS SO NICE TO MEET YOU. 451 00:24:09,967 --> 00:24:11,600 OKAY. 452 00:24:11,600 --> 00:24:13,700 OKAY. GO GET 'EM. 453 00:24:13,700 --> 00:24:15,700 OKAY. [ CHUCKLES ] 454 00:24:15,700 --> 00:24:18,233 Zsalynn: [ Voice breaking ] I JUST NEED TO CHANGE MY INSIDE 455 00:24:18,233 --> 00:24:20,433 LIKE I'M CHANGING MY OUTSIDE. 456 00:24:20,433 --> 00:24:22,633 I'VE NEVER FELT LOVED, 457 00:24:22,633 --> 00:24:26,967 AND I THINK I NEVER THOUGHT I WAS WORTHY OF LOVE. 458 00:24:26,967 --> 00:24:29,833 GARETH DIDN'T HELP WITH THAT. 459 00:24:32,633 --> 00:24:37,233 IF GARETH WANTS TO STAY SUCH A DESTRUCTIVE FORCE, 460 00:24:37,233 --> 00:24:40,900 THEN I WILL HAVE TO MOVE ON WITHOUT HIM. 461 00:24:40,900 --> 00:24:45,233 I'M GONNA HAVE TO PICK MY HEALTH OVER MY MARRIAGE. 462 00:24:52,767 --> 00:24:54,967 [ GRUNTS ] 463 00:24:54,967 --> 00:24:58,100 Christina: TODAY, DR. NOWZARADAN IS GETTING RID OF THE EXTRA SKIN 464 00:24:58,100 --> 00:25:00,833 ON MY BELLY AND THE LYMPHEDEMA MASS. 465 00:25:05,833 --> 00:25:08,067 I'M A LITTLE NERVOUS ABOUT THE SURGERY 466 00:25:08,067 --> 00:25:11,300 JUST BECAUSE THE LAST SURGERIES, I HAD A HARD TIME RECOVERING. 467 00:25:11,300 --> 00:25:13,300 I KNOW IT'S GONNA BE PAINFUL AFTER THE SURGERY, 468 00:25:13,300 --> 00:25:15,367 BUT IT'LL DEFINITELY BE WORTH IT IN THE LONG RUN. 469 00:25:15,367 --> 00:25:16,933 YOU READY? YEP. 470 00:25:18,167 --> 00:25:20,933 WITH PAIN COMES STRENGTH. 471 00:25:23,533 --> 00:25:26,133 Dr. Nowzaradan: CHRISTINA GOT A LOT OF EXTRA SKIN, 472 00:25:26,133 --> 00:25:29,300 SO GONNA GO AHEAD AND REMOVE THAT SKIN TODAY. 473 00:25:29,300 --> 00:25:33,300 THAT'S GONNA BE VERY BIG SURGERY. 474 00:25:33,300 --> 00:25:36,233 THE LARGER AMOUNT OF SKIN THAT NEED TO BE REMOVED, 475 00:25:36,233 --> 00:25:39,200 THE MORE CAREFUL WE HAVE TO BE, 476 00:25:39,200 --> 00:25:42,067 MAKE SURE THERE IS NO SIGNIFICANT BLEEDING. 477 00:25:42,067 --> 00:25:47,700 IT CAN AFFECT RECOVERY AND MAY BECOME LIFE-THREATENING. 478 00:25:50,067 --> 00:25:52,633 PROBABLY, BY END OF THE DAY, 479 00:25:52,633 --> 00:25:58,267 WE TIE OVER 400 BLOOD VESSEL TO GET THIS SURGERY DONE. 480 00:26:10,067 --> 00:26:12,200 SURGERY WENT VERY WELL. 481 00:26:12,200 --> 00:26:14,600 BUT IT'S GONNA BE A LONG ROAD FOR CHRISTINA. 482 00:26:14,600 --> 00:26:17,333 SHE ALWAYS HAD LOW TOLERANCE TO PAIN. 483 00:26:19,633 --> 00:26:22,800 SO, THIS NOT GONNA BE EASY. 484 00:26:35,800 --> 00:26:40,900 Christina: I HAD NO IDEA THE PAIN WOULD BE THIS BAD. 485 00:26:40,900 --> 00:26:42,400 OKAY. 486 00:26:42,400 --> 00:26:46,833 ON A SCALE OF 1 TO 10, MY PAIN IS ABOVE A 10 RIGHT NOW. 487 00:26:46,833 --> 00:26:48,100 IT'S TIME TO GO HOME. 488 00:26:51,367 --> 00:26:53,367 YEAH, I KNOW. YOU'RE OKAY. 489 00:26:56,567 --> 00:27:00,900 MY ONLY CONCERN NOW IS THAT SHE DOESN'T OVERDO IT. 490 00:27:00,900 --> 00:27:03,833 I DON'T WANT HER TO HAVE TO BE RUSHED BACK TO THE HOSPITAL 491 00:27:03,833 --> 00:27:08,167 FOR OPEN STITCHES OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT. 492 00:27:08,167 --> 00:27:11,300 Christina: IF I'D KNOWN IT WAS GONNA BE THIS HARD, 493 00:27:11,300 --> 00:27:13,100 I'M NOT SURE I WOULD HAVE GOT THE SURGERY. 494 00:27:17,833 --> 00:27:21,400 BUT MY FAMILY'S LOVE AND SUPPORT IS WHAT KEEPS ME STRONG 495 00:27:21,400 --> 00:27:23,967 AND KEEPS ME MOTIVATED THROUGH THE PAIN. 496 00:27:23,967 --> 00:27:27,067 IF YOU HAVE TO THROW UP, YOU CAN. 497 00:27:27,067 --> 00:27:31,433 I'M READY TO GET HOME AND SEE MY NEPHEW. 498 00:27:31,433 --> 00:27:33,067 THERE YOU GO, GIRL. LOOK UP. LOOK UP. 499 00:27:33,067 --> 00:27:34,733 THE SOONER I HEAL, THE SOONER I CAN GET BACK 500 00:27:34,733 --> 00:27:36,267 TO LIVING MY LIFE THE WAY I WANT TO. 501 00:27:49,167 --> 00:27:52,833 Zsalynn: HANNAH, I'M GOING RIGHT NOW TO THE GYM. 502 00:27:52,833 --> 00:27:53,967 WHILE I'M GONE, 503 00:27:53,967 --> 00:27:55,267 CAN YOU PLEASE PICK UP YOUR DIRTY CLOTHES 504 00:27:55,267 --> 00:27:56,367 AND GET THEM TO THE GARAGE? 505 00:27:56,367 --> 00:27:59,367 OVER THE PAST MONTH, 506 00:27:59,367 --> 00:28:04,800 I STARTED DEALING WITH SOME OF THE THINGS I LEARNED IN THERAPY. 507 00:28:04,800 --> 00:28:07,567 I WASN'T PUSHING AS HARD AS I COULD 508 00:28:07,567 --> 00:28:11,167 BECAUSE I WAS BUYING IN TO A LIE. 509 00:28:11,167 --> 00:28:14,300 I DO NEED TO BECOME HAPPY WITH MYSELF, 510 00:28:14,300 --> 00:28:16,600 AND THAT'S WHAT I'M GOING TO DO. 511 00:28:17,933 --> 00:28:21,867 IN THE PAST YEAR, MY BODY HAS CHANGED SO MUCH. 512 00:28:21,867 --> 00:28:24,833 I COULDN'T EVEN STAND BEFORE. 513 00:28:24,833 --> 00:28:26,733 MY THIGHS WOULD START TO SHAKE. 514 00:28:26,733 --> 00:28:28,967 I WOULD START SWEATING PROFUSELY. 515 00:28:28,967 --> 00:28:32,767 NOW I'VE LOST A CONSIDERABLE AMOUNT OF WEIGHT 516 00:28:32,767 --> 00:28:34,900 AND EVERYTHING IS EASIER. 517 00:28:34,900 --> 00:28:38,967 BUT I STILL FEEL LIKE I WEIGH 600 POUNDS. 518 00:28:38,967 --> 00:28:42,367 I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT IT A LOT, 519 00:28:42,367 --> 00:28:43,700 AND I FEEL LIKE 520 00:28:43,700 --> 00:28:47,700 I REALLY HAD A BREAKTHROUGH IN THAT THERAPY SESSION 521 00:28:47,700 --> 00:28:50,533 WHEN I WAS LIKE, "I'M SICK OF BEING FAKE." 522 00:28:50,533 --> 00:28:54,733 I'M SICK OF PRETENDING THAT MY LIFE IS A WAY THAT IT'S NOT. 523 00:28:57,933 --> 00:29:00,967 THE LAST 8 OR 10 YEARS, I'VE BEEN FAKING IT, 524 00:29:00,967 --> 00:29:03,833 'CAUSE I WAS JUST UNHAPPY, AND I DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO SAY IT. 525 00:29:03,833 --> 00:29:06,867 I DIDN'T WANT TO FEEL LIKE A FAILURE. 526 00:29:06,867 --> 00:29:09,867 I'M TRYING TO GET PAST THAT FAKE ME 527 00:29:09,867 --> 00:29:12,100 AND JUST TRYING TO FIND MY AUTHENTIC SELF. 528 00:29:15,133 --> 00:29:19,267 AND THAT REAL ME IS READY TO BE HEALTHY. 529 00:29:19,267 --> 00:29:22,333 AND I'M WILLING TO WORK HARD TO DO IT. 530 00:29:22,333 --> 00:29:23,700 BYE, GUYS. 531 00:29:23,700 --> 00:29:25,067 BYE. HAVE A GOOD ONE. 532 00:29:25,067 --> 00:29:26,367 THANKS. YOU TOO. 533 00:29:30,800 --> 00:29:32,400 Christina: OW. 534 00:29:32,400 --> 00:29:34,067 Man: ALL RIGHT. YOU READY NOW? 535 00:29:34,067 --> 00:29:36,867 OW, OW, OW. 536 00:29:36,867 --> 00:29:38,733 WE JUST HAVE TO GET TO THE WHEELCHAIR, OKAY? 537 00:29:38,733 --> 00:29:40,533 JUST GO AT YOUR OWN SPEED. 538 00:29:43,367 --> 00:29:45,267 OW. OW. 539 00:29:45,267 --> 00:29:46,500 I GOT YOU. OH, OW. 540 00:29:46,500 --> 00:29:49,200 Jessica: THIS MORNING, CHRISTINA GOT UP, 541 00:29:49,200 --> 00:29:50,700 AND SHE WASN'T FEELING SO WELL. 542 00:29:50,700 --> 00:29:53,133 AND SHE FAINTED WHENEVER WE WAS TRYING TO GET HER IN THE BED, 543 00:29:53,133 --> 00:29:55,067 SO WE DON'T KNOW WHAT'S WRONG. 544 00:29:57,333 --> 00:29:59,900 YOU GOT TO BREATHE. YOU GOT TO BREATHE, HONEY. 545 00:30:04,700 --> 00:30:08,433 SHE JUST GOT SICK ALL AT ONCE YESTERDAY, 546 00:30:08,433 --> 00:30:11,367 AND IT GOT WORSE. 547 00:30:11,367 --> 00:30:12,933 I'M WORRIED ABOUT HER. 548 00:30:36,633 --> 00:30:39,900 Christina: I'M FRUSTRATED RIGHT NOW. 549 00:30:39,900 --> 00:30:43,000 I'M TRAPPED IN A BED AGAIN. 550 00:30:43,000 --> 00:30:45,200 IT FEELS LIKE I'M ENDING UP RIGHT BACK WHERE I STARTED, 551 00:30:45,200 --> 00:30:47,800 AND IT'S SO SCARY. 552 00:30:51,267 --> 00:30:53,833 [ KNOCK ON DOOR ] 553 00:30:53,833 --> 00:30:56,867 HI, CHRISTINA. HI, DR. NOW. 554 00:30:56,867 --> 00:30:59,000 AND HOW'S YOUR STOMACH FEELING? LOT OF PAIN? 555 00:30:59,000 --> 00:31:00,100 YEAH. 556 00:31:00,100 --> 00:31:01,233 IT'S LIKE TWO SHARP KNIVES 557 00:31:01,233 --> 00:31:02,767 JUST COMING IN ON THE SIDE OF IT. 558 00:31:02,767 --> 00:31:04,267 ALL RIGHT. OKAY. 559 00:31:06,267 --> 00:31:09,133 Dr. Nowzaradan: CHRISTINA HAS BEEN PUSHING HERSELF 560 00:31:09,133 --> 00:31:10,467 A LITTLE BIT TOO HARD. 561 00:31:10,467 --> 00:31:13,467 SHE MAY HAVE A LITTLE BIT OF MALNUTRITION 562 00:31:13,467 --> 00:31:16,767 BECAUSE SHE'S ONLY BEEN EATING PROTEIN SHAKES. 563 00:31:18,667 --> 00:31:21,400 AT THIS POINT, I'M GOING TO KEEP CHRISTINA 564 00:31:21,400 --> 00:31:24,067 IN THE HOSPITAL FOR NEXT MONTH 565 00:31:24,067 --> 00:31:28,267 AND MAKE SURE THAT SHE GET THE NUTRITION SHE NEEDS 566 00:31:28,267 --> 00:31:30,833 AND SHE DOESN'T PUSH HERSELF TOO HARD. 567 00:31:30,833 --> 00:31:33,467 THIS IS GONNA TAKE ABOUT TWO MONTH TO HEAL. 568 00:31:33,467 --> 00:31:35,467 IT'S GONNA BE A SLOW PROCESS. 569 00:31:35,467 --> 00:31:38,900 YOU GOT TO BE STRONG, AND YOU GOT TO BE GOOD, HUH? 570 00:31:38,900 --> 00:31:40,933 OKAY. THANK YOU, DR. NOW. 571 00:31:43,667 --> 00:31:46,400 Christina: I'M FRUSTRATED THAT IF I PUSHED MYSELF TOO HARD, 572 00:31:46,400 --> 00:31:49,333 THAT I CAUSED ALL THIS TO TAKE LONGER. 573 00:31:49,333 --> 00:31:51,133 [ Crying ] IT'S HARD, 574 00:31:51,133 --> 00:31:53,900 BUT I DON'T HAVE ANY OTHER CHOICE BUT TO ACCEPT IT. 575 00:32:07,067 --> 00:32:11,167 THIS HAS BEEN ONE OF THE HARDEST MONTHS OF MY LIFE. 576 00:32:11,167 --> 00:32:13,300 BUT THE PAIN HAS GONE AWAY. 577 00:32:13,300 --> 00:32:16,067 Tammie: BEEN A LONG MONTH. 578 00:32:16,067 --> 00:32:17,333 I THINK SHE'S PRETTY ANXIOUS AND EXCITED 579 00:32:17,333 --> 00:32:18,400 TO GET UP AND GET OUT OF HERE, 580 00:32:18,400 --> 00:32:22,433 AND SHE'S LOST QUITE A BIT OF WEIGHT. 581 00:32:22,433 --> 00:32:26,933 Christina: I FEEL LIKE I'VE MADE A LOT OF PROGRESS HERE. 582 00:32:26,933 --> 00:32:30,100 BUT I'M NERVOUS ABOUT WHAT THE SCALE'S GONNA SAY. 583 00:32:31,367 --> 00:32:32,467 [ GASPS ] 584 00:32:32,467 --> 00:32:34,567 OH, THAT'S AWESOME. 585 00:32:34,567 --> 00:32:37,967 DUDE, I'M ACTUALLY UNDER 300 BY, LIKE, A LITTLE BIT. 586 00:32:37,967 --> 00:32:39,467 299.60. 587 00:32:39,467 --> 00:32:40,733 THAT'S COOL. 588 00:32:40,733 --> 00:32:42,967 Christina: LAST YEAR, I WAS 708. 589 00:32:42,967 --> 00:32:45,967 IT'S OVER 400 POUNDS LOST. 590 00:32:45,967 --> 00:32:49,067 I REALLY, REALLY CANNOT BELIEVE THAT. 591 00:32:49,067 --> 00:32:51,067 CHRISTINA HAS DONE WELL. 592 00:32:51,067 --> 00:32:53,233 I AM PROUD OF HER PROGRESS. 593 00:32:53,233 --> 00:32:57,833 I THINK SHE'S READY TO GO HOME AND RECOVER THERE. 594 00:32:57,833 --> 00:32:59,567 THERE WAS TIMES OVER THIS PAST MONTH 595 00:32:59,567 --> 00:33:02,400 THAT I THOUGHT THAT I MAY HAVE MADE A MISTAKE WITH THE SURGERY. 596 00:33:02,400 --> 00:33:04,433 NOW I KNOW IT WAS THE RIGHT CHOICE. 597 00:33:06,567 --> 00:33:08,100 YES, MA'AM. 598 00:33:08,100 --> 00:33:10,267 IT WAS JUST HARD. 599 00:33:10,267 --> 00:33:12,333 I'M JUST EXCITED 600 00:33:12,333 --> 00:33:14,467 'CAUSE THERE'S SO MUCH MORE THAT I'LL BE ABLE TO DO. 601 00:33:14,467 --> 00:33:17,567 I'M NOT WHERE I WANT TO BE YET, BUT I'M GETTING THERE. 602 00:33:17,567 --> 00:33:19,433 BYE. 603 00:33:19,433 --> 00:33:21,933 AND I WILL GET THERE. 604 00:33:28,267 --> 00:33:32,767 EVERY DAY ON THIS JOURNEY, I TAKE MY LIFE BACK, 605 00:33:32,767 --> 00:33:36,067 AND NOW I'M TAKING BACK MY HOME. 606 00:33:36,067 --> 00:33:40,600 GARETH HASN'T FOUND MUCH GOOD IN MY CHANGES. 607 00:33:40,600 --> 00:33:44,733 IT'S TIME FOR US TO ADMIT IT'S OVER. 608 00:33:44,733 --> 00:33:47,267 FOR MANY, MANY YEARS, I'VE BEEN TRAPPED -- 609 00:33:47,267 --> 00:33:50,600 IN MY BODY, IN MY MARRIAGE. 610 00:33:50,600 --> 00:33:54,600 I WAS A PRISONER IN SO MANY WAYS. 611 00:33:54,600 --> 00:33:58,133 SO TODAY, I'M PACKING UP GARETH'S THINGS, 612 00:33:58,133 --> 00:34:00,133 AND HE'S MOVING OUT. 613 00:34:01,967 --> 00:34:05,100 OUR HOUSE HAD BECOME A WAR ZONE. 614 00:34:05,100 --> 00:34:07,100 I DON'T THINK GARETH OR I 615 00:34:07,100 --> 00:34:09,567 WANT HANNAH TO BE RAISED IN THIS KIND OF ENVIRONMENT. 616 00:34:18,700 --> 00:34:23,300 I'M STILL PROCESSING THE WHOLE "WHY AM I UNLOVABLE?" FEELING. 617 00:34:23,300 --> 00:34:27,500 GARETH ABSOLUTELY MADE ME FEEL UNLOVABLE. 618 00:34:27,500 --> 00:34:29,767 [ Voice breaking ] I HATE THAT FEELING. 619 00:34:29,767 --> 00:34:31,333 BUT I'M WORKING ON IT. 620 00:34:31,333 --> 00:34:33,533 NOT HAVING GARETH AROUND 621 00:34:33,533 --> 00:34:37,067 WILL DEFINITELY ENHANCE MY WEIGHT-LOSS JOURNEY. 622 00:34:37,067 --> 00:34:39,733 I FEEL LIKE HANNAH AND I ARE LUCKY 623 00:34:39,733 --> 00:34:42,700 TO BE ABLE TO STAY HERE IN THIS HOUSE. 624 00:34:42,700 --> 00:34:45,167 IT'S GONNA FEEL LIKE A FRESH START. 625 00:34:45,167 --> 00:34:46,833 GOING FORWARD, 626 00:34:46,833 --> 00:34:50,267 THIS HOUSE IS GONNA BE THE HANNAH-AND-ZSA ZONE. 627 00:34:51,533 --> 00:34:54,433 I'M VERY SCARED ABOUT BEING OUT ON MY OWN. 628 00:34:54,433 --> 00:34:58,967 THE IDEA OF BEING SINGLE IS REALLY SCARY. 629 00:34:58,967 --> 00:35:02,800 BUT THE IDEA OF BEING STUCK IN THIS SITUATION 630 00:35:02,800 --> 00:35:05,533 IS WAY MORE SCARY. 631 00:35:05,533 --> 00:35:08,967 THIS IS A STEP THAT I, TWO YEARS AGO, 632 00:35:08,967 --> 00:35:10,767 THOUGHT I WOULD NEVER BE ABLE TO MAKE. 633 00:35:10,767 --> 00:35:14,300 THIS STEP IS TREMENDOUS, AND I'M READY FOR IT. 634 00:35:26,367 --> 00:35:29,100 Christina: TODAY, I'M GOING TO SEE DR. NOWZARADAN. 635 00:35:29,100 --> 00:35:32,500 I'M USUALLY A LITTLE NERVOUS GOING TO THE DOCTOR, 636 00:35:32,500 --> 00:35:35,667 BUT I'M EXCITED TODAY. 637 00:35:35,667 --> 00:35:37,900 BUT I HAVEN'T MADE SOME OF THE BEST CHOICES 638 00:35:37,900 --> 00:35:40,200 OVER THE LAST FEW MONTHS. 639 00:35:40,200 --> 00:35:41,867 WHENEVER I'D EAT REAL FOOD, 640 00:35:41,867 --> 00:35:44,133 AFTER TWO BITES, I WOULD FEEL SICK, 641 00:35:44,133 --> 00:35:47,433 SO I'VE JUST BEEN RELYING ON PROTEIN SHAKES THIS WHOLE TIME. 642 00:35:47,433 --> 00:35:50,333 I DON'T RECOGNIZE MYSELF ANYMORE. 643 00:35:50,333 --> 00:35:52,867 I DON'T HAVE A MEMORY OF BEING THIS SMALL. 644 00:35:52,867 --> 00:35:55,400 EVEN AS A 10-YEAR-OLD, I WAS IN A SIZE 20. 645 00:35:59,067 --> 00:36:00,900 Woman: OKAY, IT'S 239.9. 646 00:36:00,900 --> 00:36:02,267 YAY. [ CHUCKLES ] 647 00:36:02,267 --> 00:36:05,667 I CAN'T BELIEVE THE DRASTIC CHANGE I'VE MADE. 648 00:36:05,667 --> 00:36:06,900 [ KNOCK ON DOOR ] 649 00:36:06,900 --> 00:36:08,900 HELLO. HEY. 650 00:36:08,900 --> 00:36:10,433 HOW YOU DOING, CHRISTINA? GOOD. 651 00:36:13,933 --> 00:36:15,467 468. 652 00:36:15,467 --> 00:36:17,467 THAT'S GOOD. HOW IS YOUR PROTEIN INTAKE? 653 00:36:17,467 --> 00:36:20,267 EVERYTHING THAT I PUT IN LITERALLY HURTS MY STOMACH. 654 00:36:20,267 --> 00:36:23,067 AND PROPER NUTRITION'S GONNA BE ESSENTIAL FOR YOU. 655 00:36:23,067 --> 00:36:24,300 SO SOME OF THE FOOD, 656 00:36:24,300 --> 00:36:27,067 YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO TOUGH IT OUT AND EAT IT 657 00:36:27,067 --> 00:36:29,067 OR YOU'RE GONNA HAVE MALNUTRITION. 658 00:36:29,067 --> 00:36:31,067 OKAY. OKAY? 659 00:36:31,067 --> 00:36:33,833 Dr. Nowzaradan: I'M GLAD ABOUT CHRISTINA'S WEIGHT LOSS, 660 00:36:33,833 --> 00:36:36,600 BUT MY CONCERN IS THAT IT IS DONE RIGHT. 661 00:36:36,600 --> 00:36:38,333 TAKE SMALL AMOUNTS, 662 00:36:38,333 --> 00:36:41,633 THEN GRADUALLY YOU CAN INCREASE THE AMOUNT THAT YOU TAKE. 663 00:36:41,633 --> 00:36:44,600 ALL RIGHT, I'LL SEE YOU IN A COUPLE WEEKS. 664 00:36:44,600 --> 00:36:47,633 SOMETIMES, THE PENDULUM CAN SWING TO THE OTHER SIDE, 665 00:36:47,633 --> 00:36:51,067 AND THESE PATIENTS BECOME ANOREXIC. 666 00:36:51,067 --> 00:36:53,633 OVERALL, I AM VERY PROUD OF HER, 667 00:36:53,633 --> 00:36:56,767 BUT I WANT TO MAKE SURE THAT IS NOT THE ROUTE THAT SHE'S TAKING. 668 00:36:56,767 --> 00:37:01,333 Christina: I NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD MAKE IT THIS FAR. 669 00:37:01,333 --> 00:37:06,067 AND I AM NOT GONNA WASTE MY SECOND CHANCE AT LIFE. 670 00:37:06,067 --> 00:37:08,267 I NEED TO TAKE BETTER CARE OF MYSELF. 671 00:37:23,800 --> 00:37:26,933 Zsalynn: OVER THE LAST COUPLE OF MONTHS, 672 00:37:26,933 --> 00:37:29,700 IT'S BEEN JUST HANNAH AND I. 673 00:37:29,700 --> 00:37:32,267 AND I'VE LOVED EVERY MINUTE OF IT. 674 00:37:32,267 --> 00:37:36,400 WITHOUT GARETH, I'VE MADE SUCH GREAT PROGRESS. 675 00:37:40,433 --> 00:37:43,933 I'VE DECIDED TO HAVE SOME PROFESSIONAL PORTRAITS TAKEN 676 00:37:43,933 --> 00:37:47,633 FOR MYSELF AND HANNAH 'CAUSE I DON'T HAVE ANY. 677 00:37:47,633 --> 00:37:50,700 FOR THE LONGEST TIME, 678 00:37:50,700 --> 00:37:53,367 I DIDN'T WANT TO SEE WHAT I LOOKED LIKE IN A PICTURE. 679 00:37:53,367 --> 00:37:54,967 HI. HI. HOW ARE YOU? 680 00:37:54,967 --> 00:37:57,400 BUT WHEN KIDS LOOK AT PICTURES OF THEIR PARENTS, 681 00:37:57,400 --> 00:37:59,533 THEY DON'T SEE "FAT MOM" OR "SKINNY MOM." 682 00:37:59,533 --> 00:38:01,067 THEY JUST SEE MOM. 683 00:38:01,067 --> 00:38:03,100 PERFECT. 684 00:38:03,100 --> 00:38:05,167 THE MOST IMPORTANT THING THAT I'VE LEARNED 685 00:38:05,167 --> 00:38:06,467 IS THAT I'M A GOOD MOTHER. 686 00:38:06,467 --> 00:38:07,867 LET ME SEE THOSE TEETH. 687 00:38:07,867 --> 00:38:09,200 NNN. [ LAUGHS ] 688 00:38:09,200 --> 00:38:11,267 Zsalynn: TAKING PHOTOS WITH MY DAUGHTER -- 689 00:38:11,267 --> 00:38:13,633 NOT OF MY DAUGHTER, BUT WITH MY DAUGHTER -- 690 00:38:13,633 --> 00:38:16,533 IT'S ONE OF THE LITTLE THINGS THAT REALLY MAKES ME HAPPY. 691 00:38:16,533 --> 00:38:19,867 AW, LOOK. THOSE ARE REALLY GOOD. 692 00:38:19,867 --> 00:38:22,733 THINGS HAVE CHANGED A LOT. 693 00:38:22,733 --> 00:38:25,700 I'VE BEEN DOING WELL, 694 00:38:25,700 --> 00:38:28,067 AND I KNOW I'VE BEEN GETTING HEALTHIER. 695 00:38:35,667 --> 00:38:39,300 I AM SO HAPPY TO SEE HOW FAR I'VE COME. 696 00:38:39,300 --> 00:38:42,433 I JUST WANT TO KEEP MAKING PROGRESS. 697 00:38:42,433 --> 00:38:44,067 HOW'S THE EXTRA SKIN DOING IN YOUR STOMACH? 698 00:38:44,067 --> 00:38:47,333 IT'S JUST... IT'S JUST THERE. 699 00:38:47,333 --> 00:38:49,267 LET'S GET YOU UP HERE AND LET ME LOOK AT IT. 700 00:38:49,267 --> 00:38:50,700 OKAY. 701 00:38:50,700 --> 00:38:52,767 Zsalynn: I KNOW THE DOCTOR THINKS 702 00:38:52,767 --> 00:38:54,933 I'M READY FOR SKIN SURGERY, 703 00:38:54,933 --> 00:38:56,167 SO I'M CONSIDERING THAT. 704 00:38:56,167 --> 00:38:59,600 I THINK THIS IS GONNA BE VERY POSITIVE THING, 705 00:38:59,600 --> 00:39:01,200 TO HAVE THIS REMOVED. 706 00:39:01,200 --> 00:39:03,333 Dr. Nowzaradan: I WAS CONCERNED 707 00:39:03,333 --> 00:39:06,267 ABOUT NOT HAVING SEEN HER FOR SIX MONTHS. 708 00:39:06,267 --> 00:39:09,067 I'M GLAD SHE'S BACK, AND SHE'S MAKING PROGRESS. 709 00:39:09,067 --> 00:39:12,533 ALL RIGHT. I THINK YOU'RE DOING GREAT. 710 00:39:12,533 --> 00:39:15,067 THANK YOU. 711 00:39:15,067 --> 00:39:16,400 ALL RIGHT. 712 00:39:16,400 --> 00:39:21,433 I'M GRATEFUL EVERY SINGLE DAY THAT I'M WHERE I AM TODAY. 713 00:39:21,433 --> 00:39:24,700 NOW I CAN REALLY BE HER MOM. 714 00:39:24,700 --> 00:39:26,833 I DON'T WANT TO MISS ONE SINGLE DAY OF IT. 715 00:39:28,167 --> 00:39:32,567 WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY REALLY GAVE ME MY LIFE BACK. 716 00:39:32,567 --> 00:39:37,400 BEFORE I HAD SURGERY, I WAS IN A DARK, LONELY PLACE. 717 00:39:37,400 --> 00:39:39,067 AND NOW... 718 00:39:39,067 --> 00:39:41,900 I NEVER THOUGHT LIFE COULD BE THIS GOOD. 719 00:39:49,767 --> 00:39:52,533 Christina: THE PAST COUPLE YEARS HAVE BEEN AMAZING. 720 00:39:52,533 --> 00:39:55,100 I NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD HAVE MADE IT THIS FAR. 721 00:39:55,100 --> 00:39:57,900 THIS IS NOT HOW I WOULD HAVE IMAGINED MY LIFE AT ALL. 722 00:39:57,900 --> 00:40:00,100 TODAY, ME AND MY SISTER, 723 00:40:00,100 --> 00:40:03,200 WE'RE GOING FOR AN INDOOR SKYDIVING EXPERIENCE. 724 00:40:03,200 --> 00:40:06,033 I WANT TO EXPERIENCE EVERYTHING. 725 00:40:06,033 --> 00:40:08,500 I WANT TO DO THE THINGS I WANT TO DO. 726 00:40:08,500 --> 00:40:11,433 I'M PROBABLY MORE NERVOUS THAN SHE IS, 727 00:40:11,433 --> 00:40:14,767 JUST BECAUSE I'M UNSURE HOW IT'S GONNA GO BECAUSE OF MY WEIGHT. 728 00:40:14,767 --> 00:40:18,667 I'VE JUST ALWAYS ASSUMED THAT MY WEIGHT'S GONNA HOLD ME BACK 729 00:40:18,667 --> 00:40:22,533 BECAUSE IT'S ALWAYS BEEN THE STORY OF MY LIFE. 730 00:40:22,533 --> 00:40:24,067 IT'S ALWAYS BEEN "YOU'RE TOO BIG TO DO THIS," 731 00:40:24,067 --> 00:40:25,067 OR "YOU'RE TOO BIG TO DO THAT." 732 00:40:25,067 --> 00:40:27,833 AND NOW I CAN DO ANYTHING. 733 00:40:27,833 --> 00:40:30,200 OF COURSE I GET NERVOUS STILL, 734 00:40:30,200 --> 00:40:35,067 BUT I PUSH MYSELF A LITTLE BIT MORE NOW. 735 00:40:35,067 --> 00:40:39,033 A YEAR AGO, I LITERALLY COULD NOT WALK EIGHT FEET, 736 00:40:39,033 --> 00:40:42,933 AND THERE WAS A POINT WHERE I DIDN'T WANT TO LIVE. 737 00:40:42,933 --> 00:40:44,933 LIFE JUST WASN'T WORTH LIVING. 738 00:40:44,933 --> 00:40:48,333 AND NOW IT'S LIKE I GET TO EXPERIENCE LIFE. 739 00:41:01,633 --> 00:41:04,333 KNOWING THAT I WAS ABLE TO GET IN THERE 740 00:41:04,333 --> 00:41:08,367 AND THE AIR DID BLOW ME UP AND I WAS ABLE TO FLY, 741 00:41:08,367 --> 00:41:09,933 IT HELPED MY MIND BE LIKE, 742 00:41:09,933 --> 00:41:12,367 "OKAY, YOU'RE NOT THAT 700-POUND GIRL." 743 00:41:16,733 --> 00:41:18,567 YOU DID AWESOME. 744 00:41:21,467 --> 00:41:25,600 I'M CURRENTLY TRYING TO WORK SOLID FOODS BACK INTO MY DIET. 745 00:41:25,600 --> 00:41:27,100 THANK YOU. 746 00:41:27,100 --> 00:41:28,200 THANK YOU. 747 00:41:28,200 --> 00:41:29,600 IT'S A SLOW PROCESS, 748 00:41:29,600 --> 00:41:32,267 BECAUSE FOR A LONG TIME NOW I'VE ONLY BEEN DOING SHAKES. 749 00:41:32,267 --> 00:41:33,800 I'LL JUST HAVE GRILLED CHICKEN. 750 00:41:33,800 --> 00:41:37,133 MY RELATIONSHIP WITH FOOD HAS COMPLETELY CHANGED. 751 00:41:38,800 --> 00:41:41,700 I'M VERY HAPPY WITH MY PROGRESS. 752 00:41:41,700 --> 00:41:43,467 I TAKE CARE OF MY BODY. 753 00:41:43,467 --> 00:41:45,433 IF IT'S SOMETHING BAD, IT'S NOT GOING IN MY BODY. 754 00:41:45,433 --> 00:41:47,300 OH, MY GOD. YOU NEED TO TRY THIS. 755 00:41:47,300 --> 00:41:49,800 I KNOW YOU LIKE POTATOES. 756 00:41:49,800 --> 00:41:52,500 I LIKE WHO I AM NOW. 757 00:41:52,500 --> 00:41:54,400 IT'S PRETTY AMAZING TO BE THE NEW ME. 758 00:41:56,967 --> 00:41:58,300 OH, YEAH? 759 00:41:58,300 --> 00:42:01,367 WHEN I WAS OVER 700 POUNDS, I DIDN'T FEEL YOUNG. 760 00:42:01,367 --> 00:42:03,800 I FELT OLDER. I FELT TRAPPED. 761 00:42:03,800 --> 00:42:07,067 I DON'T HAVE TO HIDE ANYMORE. 762 00:42:07,067 --> 00:42:08,733 [ LAUGHS ] 763 00:42:08,733 --> 00:42:11,667 I WANT TO FULLY EXPERIENCE LIFE. 764 00:42:11,667 --> 00:42:16,300 BEING ABLE TO LIVE LIKE A 24-YEAR-OLD NOW IS AMAZING. 765 00:42:16,300 --> 00:42:17,333 HEY. 766 00:42:17,333 --> 00:42:18,600 WOULD YOU LIKE A RIDE TONIGHT? 767 00:42:18,600 --> 00:42:19,867 SURE. YEAH? HOP IN. 768 00:42:19,867 --> 00:42:23,133 Christina: THE FACT THAT I DID WASTE ALL THEM YEARS, 769 00:42:23,133 --> 00:42:25,333 IT HURTS. 770 00:42:25,333 --> 00:42:28,667 AND NOW I GET TO LIVE, 771 00:42:28,667 --> 00:42:31,633 SO THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I'M GONNA DO. 771 00:42:32,305 --> 00:43:32,613