"My 600-lb Life" Ashley D.'s Story

1 00:00:02,500 --> 00:00:04,433 I HAVE THIS THING HANGING OFF OF ME. 2 00:00:04,433 --> 00:00:05,933 IT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE THERE. 3 00:00:05,933 --> 00:00:08,867 [ Crying ] I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY I LET MYSELF GET THIS WAY. 4 00:00:08,867 --> 00:00:11,000 ** 5 00:00:15,067 --> 00:00:16,967 Man: [ MOANING ] 6 00:00:16,967 --> 00:00:20,167 MY WEIGHT HAS GIVEN ME A DEATH SENTENCE. 7 00:00:20,167 --> 00:00:22,800 Nikki: THE THING I RELIED ON ALL THESE YEARS 8 00:00:22,800 --> 00:00:24,967 IS WHAT'S KILLING ME. 9 00:00:31,967 --> 00:00:33,667 IT'S BROKEN! WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO? 10 00:00:33,667 --> 00:00:35,800 I DON'T KNOW. I CAN'T GET OFF. 11 00:00:35,800 --> 00:00:37,733 DON'T LET ME GO, PLEASE. I'M NOT. 12 00:00:42,167 --> 00:00:44,600 Chad: IT'S HARD TO BE A FATHER FROM A CHAIR. 13 00:00:44,600 --> 00:00:45,633 [ GRUNTS ] THANK YOU, HONEY. 14 00:00:45,633 --> 00:00:48,933 I SEE THAT UNWILLINGNESS. 15 00:00:48,933 --> 00:00:52,267 IF YOU WERE SERIOUS, YOU'D MAKE CHANGES. 16 00:00:56,300 --> 00:00:59,767 Dr. Nowzaradan: I'M TAKING ASHLEY TO EMERGENCY SURGERY. 17 00:00:59,767 --> 00:01:03,700 THIS NEEDS TO BE ADDRESSED NOW, OR ASHLEY WON'T SURVIVE. 18 00:01:03,700 --> 00:01:06,700 -- Captions by VITAC -- www.vitac.com 19 00:01:06,700 --> 00:01:09,700 CAPTIONS PAID FOR BY DISCOVERY COMMUNICATIONS 20 00:01:09,700 --> 00:01:12,667 ** 21 00:01:12,667 --> 00:01:15,567 Ashley: THE HARDEST PRISONS TO BREAK OUT OF 22 00:01:15,567 --> 00:01:18,833 ARE THE ONES THAT WE BUILD OURSELVES. 23 00:01:26,633 --> 00:01:28,067 [ BIRDS CHIRPING ] 24 00:01:32,600 --> 00:01:35,833 THERE IS NOT A DAY THAT GOES BY THAT I DON'T HAVE PAIN. 25 00:01:38,733 --> 00:01:41,100 JUST ABOUT ANY MOVEMENT HURTS. 26 00:01:41,100 --> 00:01:45,400 AND JUST WALKING THE 20 FEET FROM MY BED TO MY BATHROOM 27 00:01:45,400 --> 00:01:47,900 IS EXTREMELY PAINFUL. 28 00:01:50,800 --> 00:01:53,233 [ Voice breaking ] MY WEIGHT HAS MADE IT 29 00:01:53,233 --> 00:01:55,067 ALMOST UNBEARABLE TO GET AROUND. 30 00:01:55,067 --> 00:01:58,667 THE NORMAL THINGS THAT EVERYBODY DOES 31 00:01:58,667 --> 00:02:01,167 IS SO HARD TO DO WHEN YOU'RE MY SIZE. 32 00:02:03,967 --> 00:02:07,733 AND I'M TERRIFIED TO GET IN MY OWN BATHTUB... 33 00:02:07,733 --> 00:02:11,600 BECAUSE I ALMOST FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA FALL THROUGH THE FLOOR. 34 00:02:11,600 --> 00:02:13,800 [ WATER RUNNING ] 35 00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:18,700 I'M GOOD TO STAND FOR MAYBE FIVE MINUTES. 36 00:02:18,700 --> 00:02:22,100 SO IT'S A STRUGGLE FOR ME TO BATHE. 37 00:02:22,100 --> 00:02:25,367 PEOPLE DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH IT ACTUALLY TAKES 38 00:02:25,367 --> 00:02:28,100 JUST TO DO ANYTHING. 39 00:02:28,100 --> 00:02:31,733 I HAVE THIS...THING HANGING OFF OF ME. 40 00:02:31,733 --> 00:02:34,067 IT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE THERE. 41 00:02:37,333 --> 00:02:40,700 MY STOMACH HANGS SO HEAVY ON MY BACK, 42 00:02:40,700 --> 00:02:43,067 SOMETIMES WHEN I'M STANDING, 43 00:02:43,067 --> 00:02:46,367 I'M SCARED OF PHYSICALLY BREAKING MY OWN BACK. 44 00:02:49,767 --> 00:02:52,533 AND IT'S GOTTEN SO BAD NOW 45 00:02:52,533 --> 00:02:57,300 THAT I'M AFRAID THAT I'LL BE COMPLETELY IMMOBILE SOON. 46 00:02:57,300 --> 00:03:01,633 AND I'M GONNA HAVE TO HAVE SOMEBODY TAKE CARE OF ME. 47 00:03:01,633 --> 00:03:04,500 AND I DON'T WANT THAT EMBARRASSMENT. 48 00:03:04,500 --> 00:03:07,300 I COULD STILL TAKE CARE OF MY BODY, 49 00:03:07,300 --> 00:03:10,600 WASHING AND BATHING, RIGHT NOW, 50 00:03:10,600 --> 00:03:14,400 BUT I NEED HELP WITH JUST ABOUT EVERYTHING ELSE. 51 00:03:14,400 --> 00:03:19,900 AND MOST OF THAT FALLS ON MY 5-YEAR-OLD SON, PATRICK. 52 00:03:19,900 --> 00:03:21,867 MY SON HELPS ME WITH EVERYTHING. 53 00:03:21,867 --> 00:03:26,133 [ SIGHS ] 54 00:03:26,133 --> 00:03:30,133 HE'S MY LEGS AND A LOT OF THINGS. 55 00:03:30,133 --> 00:03:33,533 BASICALLY, EVERYTHING THAT INVOLVES STANDING 56 00:03:33,533 --> 00:03:37,067 AND WALKING AROUND A LOT, PATRICK DOES FOR ME. 57 00:03:37,067 --> 00:03:38,700 GO GET THE BLUE BUCKET FOR MAMA. 58 00:03:38,700 --> 00:03:40,667 WE'RE GONNA DO SOME LAUNDRY REAL QUICK. 59 00:03:40,667 --> 00:03:44,133 HE HAS TO HELP ME WITH JUST ABOUT EVERY HOUSEHOLD CHORE. 60 00:03:48,300 --> 00:03:52,433 WITHOUT HIM, I'D BE LOST, 61 00:03:52,433 --> 00:03:54,467 BECAUSE I JUST CAN'T DO IT ON MY OWN. 62 00:03:54,467 --> 00:03:56,567 [ GRUNTS ] 63 00:03:56,567 --> 00:03:57,900 Patrick: IT'S HARD FOR HER TO WALK, 64 00:03:57,900 --> 00:04:01,633 SO I DO THE STUFF THAT SHE WANTS ME TO DO EVERY DAY. 65 00:04:03,733 --> 00:04:06,200 WOULD YOU PUT THEM IN THE DRYER, PRETTY PLEASE? 66 00:04:06,200 --> 00:04:08,600 MM-HMM. 67 00:04:08,600 --> 00:04:12,600 PATRICK IS TOO YOUNG TO BE DOING THE STUFF THAT HE DOES. 68 00:04:12,600 --> 00:04:15,067 I SHOULD DO EVERYTHING FOR HIM. 69 00:04:18,300 --> 00:04:20,467 PAT... 70 00:04:23,367 --> 00:04:27,067 IT MAKES ME FEEL GUILTY, BECAUSE HE'S 5. 71 00:04:27,067 --> 00:04:29,900 HE SHOULD BE PLAYING WITH TOYS AND WATCHING TV. 72 00:04:29,900 --> 00:04:31,667 I SHOULD BE TAKING CARE OF HIM. 73 00:04:31,667 --> 00:04:34,433 3-0-0. 74 00:04:34,433 --> 00:04:35,967 "START" 75 00:04:35,967 --> 00:04:39,267 BUT HE HAS TO HELP ME, 76 00:04:39,267 --> 00:04:41,600 BECAUSE MY HUSBAND IS A TRUCK DRIVER 77 00:04:41,600 --> 00:04:46,733 AND HE'S GONE PROBABLY 70 TO 100 HOURS A WEEK. 78 00:04:46,733 --> 00:04:49,767 GET YOUR BREAKFAST. 79 00:04:49,767 --> 00:04:53,733 SO OUR FOOD IS MOSTLY WHAT PAT CAN MICROWAVE 80 00:04:53,733 --> 00:04:57,067 OR CARRY IN HERE FOR ME TO PREPARE. 81 00:04:57,067 --> 00:05:00,367 AND IT SCARES ME THAT HE'S LEARNING 82 00:05:00,367 --> 00:05:03,433 A LOT OF HIS EATING HABITS FROM ME. 83 00:05:03,433 --> 00:05:07,800 I JUST WANT TO BE A GOOD MOM AND TAKE CARE OF HIM, 84 00:05:07,800 --> 00:05:13,067 BECAUSE I NEVER HAD THAT AND I KNOW HOW PAINFUL THAT IS. 85 00:05:13,067 --> 00:05:14,533 [ SNIFFLES ] 86 00:05:14,533 --> 00:05:17,800 [ Crying ] I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY I LET MYSELF GET THIS WAY. 87 00:05:20,233 --> 00:05:23,300 MY EARLY CHILDHOOD WAS VERY UNSTABLE 88 00:05:23,300 --> 00:05:27,767 BECAUSE MY PARENTS GOT A DIVORCE WHEN I WAS 5 YEARS OLD. 89 00:05:29,600 --> 00:05:34,067 AFTER THE DIVORCE, MY MOM TOOK MY SIBLINGS AND I WITH HER, 90 00:05:34,067 --> 00:05:38,367 BUT SHE WAS NEVER AROUND BECAUSE OF HER DRUG ADDICTION. 91 00:05:40,167 --> 00:05:44,700 SO WE SPENT A LOT OF TIME AT THE BABYSITTER'S. 92 00:05:44,700 --> 00:05:46,533 AND WHEN I WAS 6, 93 00:05:46,533 --> 00:05:49,600 MY BABYSITTER'S HUSBAND STARTED MOLESTING ME. 94 00:05:50,900 --> 00:05:53,433 IF MY MOTHER HAD BEEN PAYING ATTENTION, 95 00:05:53,433 --> 00:05:56,267 I THINK SHE COULD HAVE CHANGED A LOT OF STUFF 96 00:05:56,267 --> 00:05:57,767 THAT WAS GOING ON. 97 00:06:00,667 --> 00:06:02,433 BUT AS THE OLDEST ONE, 98 00:06:02,433 --> 00:06:05,833 I FELT LIKE I HAD TO PROTECT MY BROTHER AND SISTER, 99 00:06:05,833 --> 00:06:08,700 'CAUSE THEY WERE REALLY LITTLE. 100 00:06:08,700 --> 00:06:13,900 SO I LET IT HAPPEN TO ME SO IT WOULDN'T HAPPEN TO THEM. 101 00:06:15,933 --> 00:06:19,467 AND I FELT LIKE I HAD NO ONE TO PROTECT ME, 102 00:06:19,467 --> 00:06:23,467 SO I STARTED TO TURN TO FOOD TO DEAL WITH IT ALL. 103 00:06:24,600 --> 00:06:29,400 MY MOM ESSENTIALLY CHOSE DRUGS AND THAT LIFESTYLE 104 00:06:29,400 --> 00:06:32,367 OVER WATCHING HER KIDS GROW UP. 105 00:06:32,367 --> 00:06:36,233 SO I DEVELOPED MY OWN ADDICTION. 106 00:06:36,233 --> 00:06:38,633 MINE WAS JUST WITH FOOD. 107 00:06:39,633 --> 00:06:43,433 BUT THINGS DID GET BETTER WHEN I WAS 8 YEARS OLD, 108 00:06:43,433 --> 00:06:47,767 BECAUSE MY MOM DROPPED ME AND MY SIBLINGS OFF AT MY DAD'S 109 00:06:47,767 --> 00:06:51,567 AND SHE WAS OUT OF MY LIFE FOR 13 YEARS. 110 00:06:51,567 --> 00:06:57,700 FROM THEN ON, MY DAD RAISED ME, AND I FELT SAFER WITH HIM. 111 00:06:57,700 --> 00:07:00,267 [ Voice breaking ] BUT I STILL DIDN'T UNDERSTAND. 112 00:07:00,267 --> 00:07:03,567 HOW COULD A MOM JUST THROW AWAY HER KIDS? 113 00:07:04,767 --> 00:07:09,200 AND FOOD WAS STILL THERE TO HELP ME DEAL WITH THAT PAIN, 114 00:07:09,200 --> 00:07:10,700 SO I KEPT EATING. 115 00:07:10,700 --> 00:07:16,967 ASHLEY'S EATING HABITS WERE A LOT LIKE NORMAL HABITS. 116 00:07:16,967 --> 00:07:20,700 BUT SHE WOULD EAT ENORMOUS AMOUNTS OF FOOD, 117 00:07:20,700 --> 00:07:23,367 AND SHE JUST GOT LARGER AND LARGER. 118 00:07:23,367 --> 00:07:25,433 Ashley: I WOULD SNEAK A LOT OF FOOD. 119 00:07:25,433 --> 00:07:28,700 I REMEMBER GETTING UP OUT OF BED AND GOING TO THE REFRIGERATOR 120 00:07:28,700 --> 00:07:30,633 AND JUST EATING DURING THE NIGHT. 121 00:07:30,633 --> 00:07:32,900 IT WAS JUST A CONSTANT COMFORT FOR ME. 122 00:07:32,900 --> 00:07:36,367 AND BY THE TIME I WAS IN SIXTH GRADE, 123 00:07:36,367 --> 00:07:39,067 I PROBABLY WEIGHED 250 POUNDS. 124 00:07:39,067 --> 00:07:42,633 Tommy: I JUST KEPT BEING THE BEST DAD I COULD BE TO ASHLEY. 125 00:07:42,633 --> 00:07:44,367 I WAS TRYING TO MAKE HER HAPPY. 126 00:07:44,367 --> 00:07:47,433 AND IF ONE MORE SLICE OF PIE WOULD HAVE MADE HER HAPPY, 127 00:07:47,433 --> 00:07:49,733 I'D GIVE HER ANOTHER SLICE OF PIE. 128 00:07:49,733 --> 00:07:52,767 Ashley: AND BY THE TIME I GRADUATED HIGH SCHOOL, 129 00:07:52,767 --> 00:07:55,067 I WEIGHED 400 POUNDS. 130 00:07:57,500 --> 00:08:02,167 SINCE THEN, I'VE JUST KEPT EATING AND GAINING WEIGHT. 131 00:08:02,167 --> 00:08:04,167 HOW WAS YOUR DAY? 132 00:08:04,167 --> 00:08:05,800 LONG. 133 00:08:05,800 --> 00:08:07,067 I LOVE YOU. 134 00:08:07,067 --> 00:08:08,500 I LOVE YOU, TOO. 135 00:08:14,067 --> 00:08:16,400 I MET MY HUSBAND, JAKE, IN HIGH SCHOOL. 136 00:08:16,400 --> 00:08:19,067 HE DIDN'T CARE THAT I WAS AROUND 400 POUNDS, 137 00:08:19,067 --> 00:08:21,367 AND I FELT LIKE HE ACCEPTED ME. 138 00:08:21,367 --> 00:08:24,133 HE MADE ME FEEL GOOD ABOUT MYSELF. 139 00:08:24,133 --> 00:08:27,400 I NEVER HAD ANYONE LIKE THAT. 140 00:08:27,400 --> 00:08:29,800 Jacob: ASHLEY HAS ALWAYS BEEN BEAUTIFUL TO ME. 141 00:08:29,800 --> 00:08:32,900 SHE WAS ALWAYS SMILING, AND SHE WAS A FUN PERSON TO BE AROUND. 142 00:08:32,900 --> 00:08:36,600 I LOVED WHO SHE WAS, BUT OVER THE YEARS, 143 00:08:36,600 --> 00:08:38,467 SHE JUST GOT SO BIG, 144 00:08:38,467 --> 00:08:42,067 AND SHE'S NOT THE SAME PERSON THAT SHE ONCE WAS. 145 00:08:42,067 --> 00:08:45,133 SHE DON'T SMILE AS MUCH, 146 00:08:45,133 --> 00:08:48,067 SHE'S MORE DEPRESSED ABOUT HER WEIGHT. 147 00:08:48,067 --> 00:08:51,900 AND SHE EATS BECAUSE SHE FEELS BAD, AND THEN IT JUST -- 148 00:08:51,900 --> 00:08:53,167 IT'S NEVER-ENDING. 149 00:08:53,167 --> 00:08:54,667 JUST GETS WORSE AND WORSE. 150 00:08:56,400 --> 00:08:58,567 Ashley: [ Voice breaking ] WHEN YOU TURN TO FOOD FOR EVERYTHING, 151 00:08:58,567 --> 00:09:02,800 IT'S A VERY HARD ADDICTION TO BREAK. 152 00:09:02,800 --> 00:09:06,067 I DON'T EAT THAT MANY TIMES DURING THE DAY, 153 00:09:06,067 --> 00:09:10,067 BUT WHEN I DO EAT, I EAT ENOUGH FOR TWO OR THREE MEALS. 154 00:09:10,067 --> 00:09:14,867 MY PLATE ALONE COULD PROBABLY FEED A FAMILY OF FOUR. 155 00:09:14,867 --> 00:09:18,233 BUT FOR THAT BIT OF TIME WHILE I'M EATING, 156 00:09:18,233 --> 00:09:20,467 IT MAKES EVERYTHING JUST DISAPPEAR. 157 00:09:20,467 --> 00:09:24,667 IT'S LIKE A CALM THAT WASHES OVER ME. 158 00:09:26,700 --> 00:09:29,933 IT'S MY COMFORT. 159 00:09:29,933 --> 00:09:32,767 TO ME, FOOD IS LIKE SEX. 160 00:09:32,767 --> 00:09:35,300 IT MAKES ME FEEL GOOD. 161 00:09:35,300 --> 00:09:39,833 AND ONCE I START EATING, IT'S VERY HARD TO STOP. 162 00:09:43,733 --> 00:09:44,967 AT MY SIZE RIGHT NOW, 163 00:09:44,967 --> 00:09:47,567 THIS IS THE BIGGEST I'VE EVER BEEN IN MY LIFE. 164 00:09:47,567 --> 00:09:49,867 AND I'M BASICALLY CONFINED TO THE HOUSE. 165 00:09:49,867 --> 00:09:52,467 [ BREATHING HEAVILY ] 166 00:09:52,467 --> 00:09:55,300 I GO TO TOWN MAYBE ONCE A WEEK. 167 00:09:55,300 --> 00:10:00,000 AND THAT'S ONLY BECAUSE THAT'S WHEN WE GO GET GROCERIES. 168 00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:01,200 [ ENGINE STARTS ] 169 00:10:01,200 --> 00:10:03,967 OH, MY BACK IS KILLING ME. 170 00:10:06,100 --> 00:10:10,800 I USED TO ENJOY GOING OUT, BUT NOW IT'S A HORRIBLE FEELING. 171 00:10:10,800 --> 00:10:12,367 SURE YOU DON'T WANT TO COME INSIDE? 172 00:10:14,200 --> 00:10:15,533 ALL RIGHT. 173 00:10:15,533 --> 00:10:17,267 I HAVEN'T BEEN IN A GROCERY STORE -- 174 00:10:17,267 --> 00:10:19,433 OR ANY STORE, FOR THAT MATTER -- IN OVER A YEAR, 175 00:10:19,433 --> 00:10:22,200 BECAUSE I CAN'T STAND OR WALK FOR TOO LONG 176 00:10:22,200 --> 00:10:23,933 WITHOUT HAVING TO SIT DOWN, 177 00:10:23,933 --> 00:10:26,667 AND I HATE EVERYONE STARING AT ME 178 00:10:26,667 --> 00:10:28,067 LIKE I'M SOME KIND OF FREAK. 179 00:10:28,067 --> 00:10:29,200 COME ON. 180 00:10:29,200 --> 00:10:31,567 SO I SIT IN THE TRUCK. 181 00:10:33,533 --> 00:10:36,067 AND JAKE AND PATRICK GO IN AND GET EVERYTHING. 182 00:10:37,700 --> 00:10:39,900 Jacob: BE A LOT BETTER IF SHE COULD HELP 183 00:10:39,900 --> 00:10:42,400 AND DO A LOT OF THE THINGS THAT SHE USED TO DO. 184 00:10:42,400 --> 00:10:45,300 BUT SHE DOESN'T LIKE WHEN PEOPLE LOOK AT HER, 185 00:10:45,300 --> 00:10:47,067 SO SHE CAN'T DO IT ANYMORE. 186 00:10:51,800 --> 00:10:53,900 Ashley: EVEN STAYING IN THE TRUCK, 187 00:10:53,900 --> 00:10:57,533 PEOPLE STILL STARE JUST BECAUSE OF MY SIZE. 188 00:10:57,533 --> 00:11:00,500 I WANT YOU TO KNOW, I'M GONNA PRAY FOR YOU. 189 00:11:00,500 --> 00:11:02,700 YOU CAN MAKE IT. 190 00:11:02,700 --> 00:11:04,467 GOD BLESS YOU. 191 00:11:09,633 --> 00:11:11,133 [ CRYING ] 192 00:11:17,900 --> 00:11:20,767 TO ME, IT'S THE SAME AS IF A PERSON DOESN'T HAVE ANY LEGS. 193 00:11:20,767 --> 00:11:22,167 YOU DON'T STARE AT SOMEBODY. 194 00:11:22,167 --> 00:11:23,733 I MEAN, YOU JUST DON'T DO THAT. 195 00:11:28,633 --> 00:11:32,800 IT MAKES ME FEEL LIKE I'M NOT A PERSON, LIKE I'M AN OBJECT. 196 00:11:32,800 --> 00:11:34,100 [ SOBS ] 197 00:11:34,100 --> 00:11:36,367 I'M NOT AN EXHIBIT. 198 00:11:36,367 --> 00:11:39,067 I'M A HUMAN BEING. 199 00:11:39,067 --> 00:11:40,167 [ SOBS ] 200 00:11:42,000 --> 00:11:48,074 Do you want subtitles for any video? -=[ ai.OpenSubtitles.com ]=- 201 00:11:54,500 --> 00:11:56,667 I HATE PEOPLE STARING AT ME. 202 00:11:56,667 --> 00:11:58,100 YEAH? 203 00:12:01,200 --> 00:12:03,867 JACOB KNOWS, IF I'M UPSET, 204 00:12:03,867 --> 00:12:06,900 HE NEEDS TO GET ME SOMETHING TO EAT QUICKLY. 205 00:12:06,900 --> 00:12:09,467 IF I'M HURTING, I WANT TO TURN TO SOMETHING 206 00:12:09,467 --> 00:12:11,567 THAT'S GONNA MAKE ME FEEL BETTER. 207 00:12:11,567 --> 00:12:14,167 AND I KNOW IT'S FOOD. 208 00:12:14,167 --> 00:12:17,700 LET ME GET THE, UH, 20 TENDERS -- THE MEAL -- 209 00:12:17,700 --> 00:12:19,667 AND ROLLS INSTEAD OF BISCUITS. 210 00:12:19,667 --> 00:12:20,933 THANK YOU. 211 00:12:20,933 --> 00:12:22,100 IT'S A COMFORT. 212 00:12:22,100 --> 00:12:25,167 IT'S BEEN A COMFORT EVER SINCE I WAS YOUNG. 213 00:12:25,167 --> 00:12:27,600 LET ME SEE. I DON'T KNOW. LOOK. 214 00:12:27,600 --> 00:12:30,333 WHEN YOU'RE EATING, IT'S LIKE NOTHING ELSE MATTERS. 215 00:12:30,333 --> 00:12:32,533 FOOD DOESN'T JUDGE. 216 00:12:32,533 --> 00:12:37,900 IT'S THE ONLY THING THAT COMFORTS ME. 217 00:12:40,900 --> 00:12:42,200 AND I NEED IT. 218 00:12:42,200 --> 00:12:45,867 BUT I KNOW, AT THE SAME TIME, IT'S GONNA KILL ME. 219 00:12:45,867 --> 00:12:47,933 I DON'T WANT TO LOSE MY LIFE, 220 00:12:47,933 --> 00:12:51,900 AND I DON'T WANT TO LOSE THE THINGS THAT MAKE ME HAPPY. 221 00:12:52,900 --> 00:12:56,833 [ Voice breaking ] I'M THROWING MY LIFE AWAY FOR FOOD. 222 00:12:56,833 --> 00:12:59,867 WHAT KIND OF PERSON DOES THAT MAKE ME? 223 00:12:59,867 --> 00:13:02,533 WHY CAN'T I JUST PUT IT DOWN? 224 00:13:04,100 --> 00:13:06,400 Jacob: I REALLY DO LOVE ASHLEY. 225 00:13:06,400 --> 00:13:10,167 AND...IT HURTS ME TO SEE HER HURT. 226 00:13:10,167 --> 00:13:11,633 I LOVE YOU, BABY. 227 00:13:11,633 --> 00:13:14,133 [ Voice breaking ] I CAN'T -- I CAN'T FIX HER. 228 00:13:14,133 --> 00:13:17,133 I CAN FIX A LOT OF STUFF, BUT I CAN'T -- I CAN'T FIX HER. 229 00:13:17,133 --> 00:13:21,600 Ashley: [ Crying ] I HAVE LET MYSELF DOWN. 230 00:13:21,600 --> 00:13:24,233 I'M LETTING MY HUSBAND DOWN, MY SON. 231 00:13:24,233 --> 00:13:26,533 I DON'T WANT HIM TO HAVE A MOM LIKE ME. 232 00:13:26,533 --> 00:13:28,200 I WANT HIM TO HAVE A REAL MOM. 233 00:13:28,200 --> 00:13:31,400 AND I WANT TO DO THE THINGS THAT MY MOM DIDN'T DO WITH ME. 234 00:13:31,400 --> 00:13:35,967 BUT I NEED HELP. 235 00:13:35,967 --> 00:13:38,167 I DON'T WANT MY HUSBAND TO HAVE TO BURY ME. 236 00:13:39,600 --> 00:13:43,267 AND IF I KEEP GOING, THAT'S WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN. 237 00:13:52,367 --> 00:13:54,367 ** 238 00:13:58,200 --> 00:13:59,533 Ashley: YOU READY, BABY? 239 00:13:59,533 --> 00:14:01,133 I'M READY WHEN Y'ALL ARE. Y'ALL READY? 240 00:14:01,133 --> 00:14:02,167 YEAH. 241 00:14:09,867 --> 00:14:13,633 I'M NERVOUS TO GO TO THE DOCTOR TODAY. 242 00:14:13,633 --> 00:14:18,367 OTHER DOCTORS HAVE REFUSED TO HELP ME BECAUSE OF MY SIZE. 243 00:14:19,933 --> 00:14:23,733 I'M WORRIED THIS DOCTOR IS GONNA SAY THE SAME THING. 244 00:14:27,967 --> 00:14:31,367 SO THIS HAS POTENTIAL TO BE DEVASTATING 245 00:14:31,367 --> 00:14:34,567 OR ONE OF THE BEST THINGS TO HAPPEN IN MY LIFE. 246 00:14:34,567 --> 00:14:36,467 ARE YOU EXCITED FOR TODAY? 247 00:14:36,467 --> 00:14:38,133 YES AND NO. 248 00:14:38,133 --> 00:14:42,333 I HAVEN'T WEIGHED MYSELF IN OVER A YEAR AND A HALF, 249 00:14:42,333 --> 00:14:45,100 SO I'M NERVOUS TO SEE THE NUMBER ON THE SCALE 250 00:14:45,100 --> 00:14:47,800 AND I'M ANXIOUS TO SEE WHAT HE'S GONNA SAY. 251 00:14:49,933 --> 00:14:52,667 WELL, WE MADE IT. 252 00:14:52,667 --> 00:14:55,200 I DO SEE THIS AS MY LAST CHANCE, 253 00:14:55,200 --> 00:14:58,800 BECAUSE WITHOUT THIS DOCTOR TAKING MY CASE, 254 00:14:58,800 --> 00:15:03,067 I KNOW MY LIFE EXPECTANCY IS NOT VERY LONG. 255 00:15:03,067 --> 00:15:06,100 I JUST HOPE I DIDN'T WAIT TOO LONG. 256 00:15:08,067 --> 00:15:11,200 A LOT IS RIDING ON MEETING THIS DOCTOR. 257 00:15:13,367 --> 00:15:16,567 Woman: 725. 258 00:15:22,267 --> 00:15:24,867 I DIDN'T EXPECT MY WEIGHT TO BE THAT HIGH. 259 00:15:24,867 --> 00:15:27,967 [ Voice breaking ] I JUST CAN'T BELIEVE I'VE GOTTEN THIS BIG. 260 00:15:32,767 --> 00:15:34,267 [ CRIES ] 261 00:15:39,967 --> 00:15:47,133 TO SEE 725 ON THE SCALE WAS A SMACK IN THE FACE. 262 00:15:47,133 --> 00:15:51,833 I JUST HOPE THE DOCTOR DOESN'T TURN ME AWAY. 263 00:15:51,833 --> 00:15:52,900 [ KNOCK ON DOOR ] 264 00:15:52,900 --> 00:15:54,867 HELLO. 265 00:15:54,867 --> 00:15:56,400 I'M DR. NOWZARADAN. 266 00:15:56,400 --> 00:15:57,767 MY NAME IS ASHLEY. 267 00:15:57,767 --> 00:16:01,133 YOU ARE, WHAT, 27? 268 00:16:01,133 --> 00:16:02,567 YES, I'M 27 YEARS OLD. 269 00:16:02,567 --> 00:16:05,833 AND SO YOU ARE 725 POUNDS. 270 00:16:05,833 --> 00:16:09,633 TELL ME WHY YOU THINK YOUR WEIGHT HAS GOTTEN THIS HIGH. 271 00:16:09,633 --> 00:16:13,233 I EAT TOO MUCH WHEN I SIT DOWN AND ACTUALLY HAVE A MEAL. 272 00:16:13,233 --> 00:16:16,800 I EAT ENOUGH FOR PROBABLY THREE OR FOUR REGULAR PEOPLE. 273 00:16:16,800 --> 00:16:19,100 AND IT'S LIKE I NEVER GET FULL. 274 00:16:19,100 --> 00:16:21,800 AND A LOT OF TIMES, I EAT FOR COMFORT. 275 00:16:21,800 --> 00:16:23,800 WHO DOES THE GROCERY SHOPPING? 276 00:16:23,800 --> 00:16:25,233 Jacob: ME. 277 00:16:25,233 --> 00:16:27,833 I MEAN, WE MAKE A LIST, AND MY HUSBAND GOES IN FOR ME. 278 00:16:27,833 --> 00:16:29,933 ALL RIGHT. 279 00:16:29,933 --> 00:16:33,067 Dr. Nowzaradan: ASHLEY HAS CREATED AN ENVIRONMENT 280 00:16:33,067 --> 00:16:36,467 WHERE SHE CAN'T DEAL WITH LIFE WITHOUT CONSTANTLY EATING. 281 00:16:36,467 --> 00:16:38,567 NOW THAT SHE IS OVER 700 POUNDS, 282 00:16:38,567 --> 00:16:41,200 SHE'S NOT VERY FUNCTIONAL ON HER OWN, 283 00:16:41,200 --> 00:16:43,067 AND SHE'S EATING CONSTANTLY, 284 00:16:43,067 --> 00:16:46,233 SO SOMEONE MUST BE BRINGING HER ALL THE FOOD. 285 00:16:46,233 --> 00:16:49,133 HE'S YOUR ENABLER, AND HE IS OVERWEIGHT, 286 00:16:49,133 --> 00:16:53,200 SO HE'S NOT MAKING GOOD CHOICES ON HIS OWN TO EVEN HELP YOU. 287 00:16:53,200 --> 00:16:55,067 SO YOU NEED TO UNDERSTAND 288 00:16:55,067 --> 00:16:57,933 THAT YOU ARE IN A DANGEROUS SITUATION. 289 00:16:57,933 --> 00:17:00,533 AT YOUR WEIGHT, EVERY PART OF YOUR BODY 290 00:17:00,533 --> 00:17:02,733 IS UNDER STRAIN JUST TO FUNCTION. 291 00:17:02,733 --> 00:17:06,567 AND AT THIS POINT, YOU'RE NOT GONNA MAKE IT MUCH BEYOND 30. 292 00:17:06,567 --> 00:17:08,767 YOU BOTH HAVE TO CHANGE THAT 293 00:17:08,767 --> 00:17:11,467 BECAUSE YOU DON'T HAVE ANY TIME LEFT. 294 00:17:11,467 --> 00:17:14,733 HER HOME DYNAMIC AND HER EATING HABITS 295 00:17:14,733 --> 00:17:17,633 ARE GOING TO BE EXTREMELY HARD TO BREAK, 296 00:17:17,633 --> 00:17:20,867 BUT SHE NEEDS TO REALIZE THAT SHE HAS NO CHOICE. 297 00:17:20,867 --> 00:17:22,333 SHE EITHER DOES THIS, 298 00:17:22,333 --> 00:17:25,067 OR THIS MAY BE THE LAST TIME I SEE HER. 299 00:17:25,067 --> 00:17:27,933 YOU NEED TO START A NEW DIET I'M GOING TO GIVE YOU 300 00:17:27,933 --> 00:17:30,667 TO LOSE 50 POUNDS OVER THE NEXT MONTH. 301 00:17:30,667 --> 00:17:34,300 YOU NEED TO UNDERSTAND HOW SERIOUS THIS IS RIGHT NOW. 302 00:17:34,300 --> 00:17:35,900 YES, SIR. ALL RIGHT. 303 00:17:35,900 --> 00:17:37,500 ANY QUESTIONS? 304 00:17:37,500 --> 00:17:40,567 ALL RIGHT, I'LL SEE YOU ALL LATER. 305 00:17:42,567 --> 00:17:44,367 I KNOW IT'S GONNA BE HARD, 306 00:17:44,367 --> 00:17:47,367 BUT AT LEAST HE'LL ACCEPT ME AS A PATIENT. 307 00:17:47,367 --> 00:17:49,533 ** 308 00:17:49,533 --> 00:17:51,067 HEARING DR. NOW TALK ABOUT 309 00:17:51,067 --> 00:17:53,633 EVERYTHING THAT MY WEIGHT IS DOING TO MY BODY 310 00:17:53,633 --> 00:17:54,967 PUTS IT IN PERSPECTIVE 311 00:17:54,967 --> 00:17:57,900 THAT I CAN'T JUST PUT IT OFF UNTIL TOMORROW ANYMORE. 312 00:17:57,900 --> 00:18:02,700 I'M REALLY SCARED. 313 00:18:02,700 --> 00:18:06,067 TOMORROW, I COULD BE DEAD. 314 00:18:06,067 --> 00:18:09,667 AND I CAN'T DO THAT TO MY SON. 315 00:18:09,667 --> 00:18:12,600 MY MOM ABANDONED ME, 316 00:18:12,600 --> 00:18:17,233 AND I'M NOT GONNA LET MY WEIGHT TAKE ME AWAY FROM MY CHILD. 317 00:18:17,233 --> 00:18:20,867 THIS IS GONNA BE THE HARDEST THING I'VE EVER DONE IN MY LIFE. 318 00:18:27,233 --> 00:18:29,600 Jacob: HEY, BABY, YOU READY? WE GOT EVERYTHING LOADED. 319 00:18:29,600 --> 00:18:30,700 COME ON, LET'S GO. 320 00:18:30,700 --> 00:18:33,700 OUR LEASE IS UP ON OUR CURRENT HOUSE, 321 00:18:33,700 --> 00:18:36,667 SO WE'RE MOVING TO A NEW PLACE NEARBY. 322 00:18:36,667 --> 00:18:40,567 I'M TRYING TO HELP WHERE I CAN AND STAY ACTIVE. 323 00:18:40,567 --> 00:18:43,067 AND I'VE BEEN MAKING PROGRESS. 324 00:18:45,700 --> 00:18:46,900 OKAY. 325 00:18:46,900 --> 00:18:48,767 I NOTICE I CAN WALK OUT TO THE TRUCK 326 00:18:48,767 --> 00:18:50,500 AND NOT BE OUT OF BREATH ANYMORE, 327 00:18:50,500 --> 00:18:52,200 AND JUST LITTLE THINGS LIKE THAT 328 00:18:52,200 --> 00:18:53,933 HAVE BEEN A LOT EASIER. 329 00:18:53,933 --> 00:18:57,633 BUT MOVING IS STRESSFUL, AND WE CAN'T COOK, 330 00:18:57,633 --> 00:19:00,533 SO WE HAVE TO GET FAST FOOD. 331 00:19:00,533 --> 00:19:04,067 ALL RIGHT, MAN, LET ME GET AN ULTIMATE BACON CHEESEBURGER. 332 00:19:04,067 --> 00:19:05,333 MAKE IT A LARGE. 333 00:19:05,333 --> 00:19:07,800 YOU WANT THE SALAD, OR YOU JUST WANT THE CHICKEN FILLET? 334 00:19:07,800 --> 00:19:09,200 I JUST WANT THE CHICKEN. OKAY. 335 00:19:09,200 --> 00:19:12,067 I'M TRYING TO FIND SOMETHING HEALTHY, 336 00:19:12,067 --> 00:19:14,200 BUT JAKE HASN'T TRIED AT ALL. 337 00:19:14,200 --> 00:19:16,067 AND IT'S REALLY HARD. 338 00:19:16,067 --> 00:19:17,933 HERE YOU GO. 339 00:19:17,933 --> 00:19:19,700 I'M EATING A PIECE OF CHICKEN, 340 00:19:19,700 --> 00:19:22,133 AND HE'S EATING, YOU KNOW, A HAMBURGER. 341 00:19:22,133 --> 00:19:25,600 I WISH I HAD MORE OF HIS SUPPORT. 342 00:19:25,600 --> 00:19:28,300 BUT WHEN I GOT IN THIS PROCESS, 343 00:19:28,300 --> 00:19:31,800 I KNEW THAT IT WAS GONNA BE DIFFICULT. 344 00:19:31,800 --> 00:19:35,100 AND I KNEW THAT I WAS GONNA HAVE TO HAVE THE WILLPOWER TO SAY, 345 00:19:35,100 --> 00:19:37,733 YOU KNOW, AND THAT'S PROBABLY THE HARDEST PART, 346 00:19:37,733 --> 00:19:39,733 IS FINDING SOMETHING THAT REPLACES 347 00:19:39,733 --> 00:19:41,400 THE COMFORT THAT FOOD GIVES ME. 348 00:19:41,400 --> 00:19:43,600 BABE, ARE THEY GONNA HOLD ME -- THESE STAIRS? 349 00:19:43,600 --> 00:19:46,333 I DON'T KNOW. ONLY ONE WAY TO FIND OUT. 350 00:19:46,333 --> 00:19:50,433 BUT I KNOW IT'S A WORK IN PROGRESS. 351 00:19:50,433 --> 00:19:53,667 HOO HOO. OH, NO, WE'RE GOOD. 352 00:19:53,667 --> 00:19:56,100 AND IT'S ULTIMATELY UP TO ME. 353 00:19:56,100 --> 00:19:57,933 [ SIGHS ] 354 00:20:09,767 --> 00:20:13,233 I'VE WORKED SO HARD OVER THE LAST MONTH, 355 00:20:13,233 --> 00:20:16,700 BUT 50 POUNDS WAS A LOT TO LOSE. 356 00:20:16,700 --> 00:20:19,933 Woman: MRS. BRATCHER? 357 00:20:19,933 --> 00:20:24,333 Ashley: AND I DON'T KNOW IF I'M ANYWHERE NEAR THAT RIGHT NOW. 358 00:20:26,600 --> 00:20:29,800 BUT I NEED THIS SO BAD. 359 00:20:29,800 --> 00:20:32,767 MY WEIGHT HAS GOTTEN SO OUT OF CONTROL. 360 00:20:32,767 --> 00:20:37,067 WITHOUT THIS SURGERY, I'M JUST HOPELESS. 361 00:20:42,467 --> 00:20:46,833 ** 362 00:20:46,833 --> 00:20:49,467 Ashley: I'M REALLY SCARED RIGHT NOW. 363 00:20:49,467 --> 00:20:53,567 DR. NOWZARADAN WANTED ME TO LOSE 50 POUNDS AND GET UNDER 675, 364 00:20:53,567 --> 00:20:55,533 AND I HOPE I'VE DONE THAT. 365 00:20:55,533 --> 00:21:00,267 I NEED THIS SURGERY MORE THAN ANYTHING RIGHT NOW. 366 00:21:00,267 --> 00:21:02,800 Woman: 667. 367 00:21:04,267 --> 00:21:06,900 Ashley: [ Chuckling ] I'M KIND OF IN SHOCK. 368 00:21:06,900 --> 00:21:10,533 BUT I'M SO EXCITED RIGHT NOW. 369 00:21:10,533 --> 00:21:13,433 Jacob: CONGRATULATIONS. 370 00:21:13,433 --> 00:21:15,267 [ Chuckling ] CAN'T BELIEVE IT. 371 00:21:15,267 --> 00:21:17,600 IT'S A LOT. 372 00:21:17,600 --> 00:21:18,533 [ KNOCK ON DOOR ] 373 00:21:18,533 --> 00:21:19,367 HELLO. 374 00:21:19,367 --> 00:21:20,900 HOW ARE YOU ALL DOING? 375 00:21:20,900 --> 00:21:22,333 GOOD. 376 00:21:22,333 --> 00:21:23,867 SO, YOU LOST SOME WEIGHT, HUH? 377 00:21:23,867 --> 00:21:25,900 YES, SIR. 60 POUNDS. 378 00:21:25,900 --> 00:21:27,933 AND YOU DIDN'T THINK YOU WERE GONNA LOSE THAT, HUH? 379 00:21:27,933 --> 00:21:29,967 NO. I WAS VERY HAPPY. [ CHUCKLES ] 380 00:21:29,967 --> 00:21:32,267 WELL, THAT'S GOOD. THAT'S VERY GOOD. 381 00:21:32,267 --> 00:21:35,167 I WAS VERY CONCERNED ABOUT HOW MUCH CHANGE ASHLEY 382 00:21:35,167 --> 00:21:37,333 WOULD HAVE TO MAKE TO LOSE WEIGHT, 383 00:21:37,333 --> 00:21:39,067 BUT SHE DID EXCELLENTLY. 384 00:21:39,067 --> 00:21:42,600 THERE'S STILL A LOT OF CHANGES THAT THEY NEED TO MAKE 385 00:21:42,600 --> 00:21:44,267 FOR THE DYNAMIC AT HOME, 386 00:21:44,267 --> 00:21:48,133 BUT SHE SHOWED ME SHE'S READY RIGHT NOW FOR THE NEXT STEP. 387 00:21:48,133 --> 00:21:49,933 I'M GONNA GO AHEAD AT THIS POINT 388 00:21:49,933 --> 00:21:52,100 AND APPROVE YOU FOR WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY. 389 00:21:52,100 --> 00:21:53,700 SO, HOW DOES THAT SOUND TO YOU? 390 00:21:53,700 --> 00:21:55,067 GOOD. [ CHUCKLES ] 391 00:21:55,067 --> 00:21:56,867 YOU'RE EXCITED? 392 00:21:56,867 --> 00:21:58,633 ALL RIGHT, WE'LL GET YOU FIXED UP. 393 00:21:58,633 --> 00:22:01,167 SOUNDS GREAT. THANK YOU, DR. NOWZARADAN. 394 00:22:01,167 --> 00:22:02,633 YOU'RE WELCOME. 395 00:22:02,633 --> 00:22:04,733 Dr. Nowzaradan: THERE'S STILL A LOT OF WORK 396 00:22:04,733 --> 00:22:05,967 THAT NEEDS TO BE DONE, 397 00:22:05,967 --> 00:22:07,967 AND THE NEXT FEW MONTHS IS GONNA BE VERY HARD 398 00:22:07,967 --> 00:22:10,067 FOR ASHLEY TO ADOPT NEW HABITS. 399 00:22:10,067 --> 00:22:13,067 BUT FOR NOW, SURGERY IS GOING TO HELP HER. 400 00:22:13,067 --> 00:22:15,400 Ashley: BECAUSE I DID LOSE THE WEIGHT, 401 00:22:15,400 --> 00:22:16,800 PLUS A LITTLE BIT MORE, 402 00:22:16,800 --> 00:22:19,767 I THINK IT SHOWED HIM THAT I AM TAKING IT SERIOUS. 403 00:22:19,767 --> 00:22:21,067 Patrick: MOMMY! 404 00:22:21,067 --> 00:22:23,367 COME ON, LET'S GO. 405 00:22:23,367 --> 00:22:26,700 WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY WILL CHANGE MY LIFE. 406 00:22:26,700 --> 00:22:30,067 AND I'M JUST EXCITED TO SEE WHERE IT GOES. 407 00:22:32,633 --> 00:22:35,267 [ BIRDS CHIRP ] 408 00:22:35,267 --> 00:22:40,433 TOMORROW MORNING, I'M GOING IN FOR GASTRIC BYPASS. 409 00:22:42,233 --> 00:22:44,467 I THINK I HAVE EVERYTHING. CLOTHES... 410 00:22:44,467 --> 00:22:49,500 I'M REALLY EXCITED ABOUT HOW MUCH MY LIFE IS ABOUT TO CHANGE. 411 00:22:49,500 --> 00:22:52,933 MY MOM HAS COME DOWN TO HELP WATCH PATRICK 412 00:22:52,933 --> 00:22:56,067 WHILE ME AND JAKE ARE AT THE HOSPITAL. 413 00:22:56,067 --> 00:22:58,767 I RECENTLY LET HER BACK IN MY LIFE 414 00:22:58,767 --> 00:23:02,833 BECAUSE SHE'S BEEN FREE OF HER ADDICTION FOR A WHILE NOW. 415 00:23:02,833 --> 00:23:06,167 DRUG ADDICTION TOOK MY MOM FOR YEARS. 416 00:23:06,167 --> 00:23:07,600 [ LAUGHS ] 417 00:23:07,600 --> 00:23:09,800 BUT NOW THAT SHE'S GOTTEN HELP, 418 00:23:09,800 --> 00:23:12,600 WE'VE STARTED OUR RELATIONSHIP AGAIN. 419 00:23:12,600 --> 00:23:15,500 I LOVE YOU. 420 00:23:15,500 --> 00:23:17,867 Stephanie: NOW THAT I'M BACK IN THEIR LIFE, 421 00:23:17,867 --> 00:23:20,567 I'M TRYING TO MAKE UP FOR THE TIME THAT I MISSED WITH THEM. 422 00:23:20,567 --> 00:23:23,933 AND I JUST WANTED TO BE HERE TO HELP WITH HER 423 00:23:23,933 --> 00:23:25,867 AND HELP WITH MY GRANDSON. 424 00:23:25,867 --> 00:23:27,300 YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE SURGERY, 425 00:23:27,300 --> 00:23:29,300 AND I'M PROBABLY MORE NERVOUS THAN YOU ARE. 426 00:23:29,300 --> 00:23:33,767 I KNEW IT WAS MY FAULT THAT SHE HAD TURNED TO FOOD 427 00:23:33,767 --> 00:23:35,867 BECAUSE I WAS NOT THERE. 428 00:23:35,867 --> 00:23:38,967 Ashley: WE STILL HAVE A LOT TO TALK ABOUT, 429 00:23:38,967 --> 00:23:42,867 BUT RIGHT NOW, I SEE HER AS AN INSPIRATION 430 00:23:42,867 --> 00:23:47,133 BECAUSE I FIGURE, IF SHE CAN BREAK FREE OF HER ADDICTION, 431 00:23:47,133 --> 00:23:48,400 THEN SO CAN I. 432 00:23:48,400 --> 00:23:49,733 [ SIGHS ] 433 00:23:49,733 --> 00:23:52,067 ** 434 00:23:52,067 --> 00:23:55,100 I JUST HOPE I MAKE A LOT OF PROGRESS QUICKLY, 435 00:23:55,100 --> 00:23:58,267 BECAUSE PATRICK IS STARTING SCHOOL NEXT MONTH, 436 00:23:58,267 --> 00:23:59,800 AND FOR THE FIRST TIME, 437 00:23:59,800 --> 00:24:02,467 I WON'T HAVE ANYONE AT HOME TO HELP ME, 438 00:24:02,467 --> 00:24:04,333 AND THAT'S SCARY. 439 00:24:04,333 --> 00:24:09,333 BUT AT THE SAME TIME, IT'S GONNA HELP PUSH ME 440 00:24:09,333 --> 00:24:12,067 TO MAKE PROGRESS BECAUSE I HAVE TO. 441 00:24:14,767 --> 00:24:16,967 ** 442 00:24:20,167 --> 00:24:22,967 I LOVE YOU, MOMMY. 443 00:24:22,967 --> 00:24:24,533 I LOVE YOU. BE GOOD. 444 00:24:24,533 --> 00:24:25,867 Jacob: COME ON, COME ON, COME ON. 445 00:24:27,367 --> 00:24:29,533 I LOVE YOU. I'LL SEE YOU IN A LITTLE BIT. 446 00:24:29,533 --> 00:24:31,200 I LOVE YOU, PAT-PAT. 447 00:24:31,200 --> 00:24:35,333 I'M A LITTLE NERVOUS NOW THAT THE DAY OF SURGERY IS HERE. 448 00:24:35,333 --> 00:24:39,233 PATRICK KNOWS I'M SCARED, BUT AS HE GETS OLDER, 449 00:24:39,233 --> 00:24:42,267 I HOPE HE'LL UNDERSTAND WHAT I'M DOING HERE TODAY 450 00:24:42,267 --> 00:24:43,633 TO BE THERE WITH HIM. 451 00:24:43,633 --> 00:24:46,667 BUT I KNOW ANYTHING CAN GO WRONG, 452 00:24:46,667 --> 00:24:49,333 AND THAT TERRIFIES ME RIGHT NOW. 453 00:24:49,333 --> 00:24:51,133 TAKE YOUR TIME. 454 00:24:51,133 --> 00:24:54,500 BUT I'M JUST PRAYING IT'S ALL GONNA BE OKAY. 455 00:24:59,567 --> 00:25:04,233 Dr. Nowzaradan: TODAY WE'RE ATTEMPTING TO DO GASTRIC BYPASS ON ASHLEY. 456 00:25:04,233 --> 00:25:07,467 BUT IT'S GONNA BE A VERY HARD SURGICAL PROCEDURE, 457 00:25:07,467 --> 00:25:09,400 BECAUSE SHE IS EXTREMELY OBESE 458 00:25:09,400 --> 00:25:12,067 AND WE HAVE TO BE VERY CAREFUL WITH HER 459 00:25:12,067 --> 00:25:15,300 AND MAKE SURE NOTHING WE DO TODAY 460 00:25:15,300 --> 00:25:19,433 PUSHES HER BODY OVER THE LIMIT DURING THE SURGERY. 461 00:25:23,233 --> 00:25:25,100 WITH THE GASTRIC BYPASS, 462 00:25:25,100 --> 00:25:28,533 WE DRASTICALLY REDUCE THE SIZE OF THE STOMACH 463 00:25:28,533 --> 00:25:30,233 TO LIMIT THE AMOUNT OF FOOD 464 00:25:30,233 --> 00:25:32,600 THAT PATIENT CAN EAT IN ONE SITTING. 465 00:25:32,600 --> 00:25:35,233 WE ALSO WRAP THE INTESTINE 466 00:25:35,233 --> 00:25:39,500 SO THEY CAN ABSORB LESS OF WHAT THEY EAT. 467 00:25:39,500 --> 00:25:43,333 THERE IS ALL THE ANTICIPATION WE CAN LOSE WEIGHT QUICKLY. 468 00:25:45,800 --> 00:25:49,133 IT'S VERY STRESSFUL, BUT WE'RE HERE TO SUPPORT ASHLEY. 469 00:25:49,133 --> 00:25:52,233 THIS IS ABOUT HER FUTURE, HER HEALTH. 470 00:25:52,233 --> 00:25:55,400 Jacob: I HAVE CONCERNS ABOUT ASHLEY HAVING THE SURGERY. 471 00:25:55,400 --> 00:25:58,533 I KNOW THAT ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN BECAUSE OF HER SIZE. 472 00:26:05,933 --> 00:26:07,867 IT'S NOT WORKING. 473 00:26:12,300 --> 00:26:14,067 IF THAT DOESN'T WORK, 474 00:26:14,067 --> 00:26:17,067 BYPASS MIGHT NOT BE POSSIBLE IN ASHLEY. 475 00:26:28,467 --> 00:26:31,300 Dr. Nowzaradan: ASHLEY HAS A HUGE HERNIA 476 00:26:31,300 --> 00:26:35,233 THAT'S MAKING THIS OPERATION NEARLY IMPOSSIBLE TO COMPLETE. 477 00:26:36,567 --> 00:26:39,733 IF WE DON'T FIND AN ALTERNATIVE SOLUTION, 478 00:26:39,733 --> 00:26:42,833 I HAVE TO CALL OFF THE BYPASS OPERATION. 479 00:26:42,833 --> 00:26:45,667 AND THIS IS NOT GONNA BE POSSIBLE TO CLOSE. 480 00:26:45,667 --> 00:26:49,733 UH, AND WE'RE GONNA OPEN UP. 481 00:27:00,967 --> 00:27:03,533 YEAH, THAT'S GOOD. 482 00:27:03,533 --> 00:27:05,733 STILL VERY DIFFICULT TO MOVE AROUND, 483 00:27:05,733 --> 00:27:09,067 BUT WE'RE ABLE TO DO BYPASS ON HER. 484 00:27:09,067 --> 00:27:13,500 BUT WE FIND THAT SHE HAD A LARGE UMBILICAL HERNIA, 485 00:27:13,500 --> 00:27:15,900 AND THAT WILL INCREASE HER RISK 486 00:27:15,900 --> 00:27:18,900 OF BOWEL GETTING CAUGHT IN AFTER SURGERY. 487 00:27:18,900 --> 00:27:22,067 SO WE OPENED UP AND FIXED HER HERNIA, TOO. 488 00:27:31,267 --> 00:27:34,433 ALL RIGHT. WE'RE IN GOOD SHAPE. 489 00:27:34,433 --> 00:27:38,700 IT WAS CHALLENGING TO DO THE CASE. 490 00:27:38,700 --> 00:27:41,933 WE HAD TO DO EVERYTHING DIFFERENTLY, 491 00:27:41,933 --> 00:27:44,633 BUT OVERALL, EVERYTHING WENT VERY WELL. 492 00:27:44,633 --> 00:27:46,600 ** 493 00:27:46,600 --> 00:27:50,700 ASHLEY HAS A LOT TO RECOVER FROM OVER NEXT FEW DAYS, 494 00:27:50,700 --> 00:27:54,733 BUT SURGERY WILL BE A BIG HELP FOR HER IN THE SHORT TERM 495 00:27:54,733 --> 00:27:58,267 AS LONG AS SHE'S ABLE TO ADDRESS THE DYNAMIC AT HOME, 496 00:27:58,267 --> 00:27:59,833 DOWN THE ROAD. 497 00:27:59,833 --> 00:28:03,767 BUT WE NEED TO KEEP AN EYE ON HER FOR THE NEXT FEW DAYS 498 00:28:03,767 --> 00:28:06,367 TO MAKE SURE THAT SHE WILL NOT HAVE ANY COMPLICATIONS 499 00:28:06,367 --> 00:28:07,400 FROM SURGERY. 500 00:28:11,500 --> 00:28:13,167 ** 501 00:28:21,600 --> 00:28:24,233 IT'S BEEN A MONTH SINCE MY SURGERY, 502 00:28:24,233 --> 00:28:27,567 AND THERE'S BEEN A LOT OF CHANGES IN OUR LIVES. 503 00:28:27,567 --> 00:28:29,400 IT'S BEEN HARD RECOVERING. 504 00:28:29,400 --> 00:28:32,433 I WAS SO GLAD I WAS ABLE TO GET THE BYPASS 505 00:28:32,433 --> 00:28:35,067 AND MAKE THE PROGRESS THAT I HAVE. 506 00:28:40,867 --> 00:28:44,367 AND I'M ABLE TO START DOING MORE AROUND THE HOUSE. 507 00:28:44,367 --> 00:28:47,633 SO PATRICK CAN JUST FOCUS ON STARTING SCHOOL 508 00:28:47,633 --> 00:28:49,267 AND JUST BEING A KID. 509 00:28:50,067 --> 00:28:51,367 PAT-PAT. 510 00:28:55,800 --> 00:28:59,067 I ALWAYS DREADED THE DAY HE'D START SCHOOL, 511 00:28:59,067 --> 00:29:01,133 BECAUSE I THOUGHT I WOULD BE ALONE 512 00:29:01,133 --> 00:29:04,100 AND I WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO DO ANYTHING AROUND THE HOUSE. 513 00:29:04,100 --> 00:29:07,900 BUT HE DESERVES NOT TO HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF ME. 514 00:29:07,900 --> 00:29:09,633 COME ON. 515 00:29:09,633 --> 00:29:11,500 YOU LOOK SO HANDSOME. 516 00:29:11,500 --> 00:29:13,233 GO SEE YOUR DADDY. 517 00:29:13,233 --> 00:29:15,300 Ashley: HE LOOKS CUTE TODAY, DOESN'T HE? 518 00:29:15,300 --> 00:29:17,333 THIS IS A REALLY BIG MOMENT FOR ME 519 00:29:17,333 --> 00:29:20,700 TO BE ABLE TO BE A PART OF IT AND NOT JUST BE ON THE SIDELINE. 520 00:29:22,533 --> 00:29:24,400 JUST A FEW MONTHS AGO, 521 00:29:24,400 --> 00:29:28,733 I WOULD HAVE NOT BEEN ABLE TO HELP HIM OR GO WITH HIM. 522 00:29:28,733 --> 00:29:31,533 BUT NOW I HAVE THE ENERGY TO TAKE HIM TO SCHOOL. 523 00:29:42,167 --> 00:29:44,667 YOU KNOW I'M GONNA MISS YOU? 524 00:29:46,500 --> 00:29:48,133 COME ON. 525 00:29:48,133 --> 00:29:50,867 I LOVE YOU. GOOD LUCK. 526 00:29:50,867 --> 00:29:52,467 [ VEHICLE DOOR CLOSES ] 527 00:29:52,467 --> 00:29:55,833 Ashley: IN THE FUTURE, I WANT TO BE ABLE TO GO TO THE CLASSROOM, 528 00:29:55,833 --> 00:29:57,967 AND I WANT TO BE ABLE TO DO THE THINGS 529 00:29:57,967 --> 00:30:00,300 THAT A MOM IS SUPPOSED TO DO WITH HER KIDS. 530 00:30:00,300 --> 00:30:02,633 BUT RIGHT NOW, I'M JUST THANKFUL 531 00:30:02,633 --> 00:30:05,900 I'M ABLE TO BE A PART OF THIS DAY WITH HIM. 532 00:30:05,900 --> 00:30:09,067 I STILL HAVE A LOT OF HURDLES I GOT TO GET OVER, 533 00:30:09,067 --> 00:30:12,333 BUT JUST THIS LITTLE BIT OF WEIGHT THAT I'VE LOST, 534 00:30:12,333 --> 00:30:15,833 I ACTUALLY FEEL LIKE I CAN LIVE AGAIN. 535 00:30:15,833 --> 00:30:18,700 THE CRAVINGS HAVE BEEN COMING BACK, 536 00:30:18,700 --> 00:30:20,467 BUT I'VE JUST BEEN FOCUSING 537 00:30:20,467 --> 00:30:23,433 ON TRYING TO AVOID FOOD THAT I SHOULDN'T EAT. 538 00:30:23,433 --> 00:30:27,933 I'M JUST GONNA PUSH MYSELF TO DO A LITTLE MORE EACH DAY 539 00:30:27,933 --> 00:30:31,767 AND NOT GIVE IN TO ANYTHING THAT'S GONNA HURT ME. 540 00:30:41,067 --> 00:30:43,567 THIS IS ALL VERY NEW FOR ME. 541 00:30:46,633 --> 00:30:48,200 THESE PAST COUPLE OF MONTHS, 542 00:30:48,200 --> 00:30:50,367 I'VE BEEN PUSHING MYSELF TO DO MORE. 543 00:30:50,367 --> 00:30:53,767 RIGHT NOW, I'M TRYING TO GO TO THE GROCERY STORE 544 00:30:53,767 --> 00:30:56,000 FOR THE FIRST TIME IN TWO YEARS. 545 00:30:56,000 --> 00:31:01,667 BUT I'M A LITTLE SCARED BEING IN THERE AROUND ALL THAT FOOD. 546 00:31:01,667 --> 00:31:04,100 I'VE BEEN MAKING HEALTHY CHOICES, 547 00:31:04,100 --> 00:31:05,833 BUT IT'S GETTING TOUGHER. 548 00:31:05,833 --> 00:31:09,600 I TURNED TO FOOD FOR ALL MY EMOTIONS. 549 00:31:09,600 --> 00:31:13,067 NOW THAT'S NOT AN OPTION ANYMORE. 550 00:31:13,067 --> 00:31:16,367 SO MY ANXIETY LEVELS ARE THROUGH THE ROOF. 551 00:31:16,367 --> 00:31:17,567 I GET OVERWHELMED. 552 00:31:17,567 --> 00:31:19,067 MY HEART STARTS RACING, 553 00:31:19,067 --> 00:31:22,433 AND I FEEL LIKE I'M GETTING A PANIC ATTACK OR SOMETHING. 554 00:31:25,400 --> 00:31:29,167 I JUST HAVE TO HAVE A MINUTE TO MYSELF. 555 00:31:33,500 --> 00:31:36,400 BUT I'M MAKING MYSELF DO THIS ANYWAY 556 00:31:36,400 --> 00:31:40,067 BECAUSE IT'S A FEAR I NEED TO GET OVER. 557 00:31:40,067 --> 00:31:42,633 I GOT THIS. I CAN DO THIS. 558 00:31:42,633 --> 00:31:45,567 I MEAN, I'M PROUD OF THE WEIGHT THAT I'VE LOST ALREADY, 559 00:31:45,567 --> 00:31:49,233 BUT I SEE ALL THE THINGS THAT I USED TO ENJOY EATING, 560 00:31:49,233 --> 00:31:55,067 AND IT IS A REMINDER OF WHAT MY LIFE USED TO BE ABOUT. 561 00:31:55,067 --> 00:31:57,300 AND IT'S STILL REALLY HARD FOR ME. 562 00:32:01,133 --> 00:32:04,133 I'M NOT USED TO FEELING THIS WAY. 563 00:32:04,133 --> 00:32:08,567 AND JAKE AND MY MOM ARE STILL EATING THINGS THAT I CAN'T, 564 00:32:08,567 --> 00:32:12,167 AND IT'S JUST HARD BEING AROUND FOOD THAT I CAN'T EAT 565 00:32:12,167 --> 00:32:14,300 AND NOT START TO GIVE IN. 566 00:32:14,300 --> 00:32:18,600 IT'S GETTING HARDER AND HARDER TO COPE. 567 00:32:18,600 --> 00:32:22,633 BUT I CAN'T GO BACK TO THE WAY I WAS... 568 00:32:22,633 --> 00:32:24,767 AND FAIL AT THIS. 569 00:32:27,167 --> 00:32:30,167 ** 570 00:32:30,167 --> 00:32:33,867 [ RETCHING, COUGHING ] 571 00:32:45,633 --> 00:32:49,700 Dr. Nowzaradan: RIGHT NOW, I'M TAKING ASHLEY TO EMERGENCY SURGERY. 572 00:32:49,700 --> 00:32:51,467 TALKING TO HER HUSBAND, 573 00:32:51,467 --> 00:32:55,467 IT SEEMS LIKE SHE'S BEEN DEALING WITH A LOT OF ANXIETY 574 00:32:55,467 --> 00:32:58,067 NOW THAT HER EATING HABIT IS LIMITED. 575 00:32:58,067 --> 00:33:01,700 AND AS A RESULT, SHE MAY BE ABUSING HER PAIN MEDICATION. 576 00:33:14,533 --> 00:33:17,067 AND THIS COULD BE A LIFE-THREATENING SITUATION 577 00:33:17,067 --> 00:33:18,833 FOR HER RIGHT NOW. 578 00:33:18,833 --> 00:33:20,367 WE CAN TURN THE ROOM LIGHT OFF. 579 00:33:44,400 --> 00:33:47,100 ** 580 00:33:49,233 --> 00:33:52,100 Dr. Nowzaradan: ASHLEY IS IN A LIFE-THREATENING SITUATION. 581 00:33:52,100 --> 00:33:54,767 SHE HAS DEVELOPED A PERFORATED ULCER, 582 00:33:54,767 --> 00:33:57,667 AND HER STOMACH IS SPILLING GASTRIC FLUID 583 00:33:57,667 --> 00:33:59,367 IN HER ABDOMINAL CAVITY. 584 00:33:59,367 --> 00:34:04,100 WE'RE ATTEMPTING TO REPAIR IT RIGHT NOW. 585 00:34:04,100 --> 00:34:07,600 Jacob: RIGHT NOW, ASHLEY IS NOT DOING TOO GOOD, 586 00:34:07,600 --> 00:34:10,133 AND WE'RE WORRIED ABOUT IF SHE'S GONNA SURVIVE OR NOT. 587 00:34:10,133 --> 00:34:11,567 Dr. Nowzaradan: ALL RIGHT. 588 00:34:15,367 --> 00:34:17,900 BUT SHE'S FAR FROM BEING OUT OF THE WOODS. 589 00:34:17,900 --> 00:34:18,900 GO FORWARD. 590 00:34:21,167 --> 00:34:24,600 GO AHEAD AND CLOSE HER UP. 591 00:34:24,600 --> 00:34:26,167 WE HAVE HER STABLE NOW, 592 00:34:26,167 --> 00:34:28,600 BUT SHE'LL BE IN CRITICAL CONDITION 593 00:34:28,600 --> 00:34:32,067 FOR THE NEXT 72 HOURS BEFORE WE KNOW HOW SHE'S DOING. 594 00:34:32,067 --> 00:34:35,067 IT WILL TAKE HER A MONTH OR TWO TO FULLY RECOVER 595 00:34:35,067 --> 00:34:36,767 TO BE ABLE TO GO BACK HOME. 596 00:34:36,767 --> 00:34:38,867 IT'S GOING TO BE HARD FOR HER. 597 00:34:38,867 --> 00:34:41,967 BUT ONE OF THE FIRST THINGS SHE NEEDS TO DO 598 00:34:41,967 --> 00:34:45,433 AFTER LEAVING THE HOSPITAL IS GO SEE A THERAPIST. 599 00:34:45,433 --> 00:34:50,533 SHE USES SELF-DESTRUCTIVE WAYS TO COPE WITH HER EMOTIONS, 600 00:34:50,533 --> 00:34:52,733 AND THAT HAS TO STOP IMMEDIATELY. 601 00:35:02,733 --> 00:35:06,767 I'VE BEEN IN A HOSPITAL RECOVERING FOR SIX WEEKS NOW. 602 00:35:06,767 --> 00:35:10,667 ASHLEY, ARE WE GOING TO TRY TO STAND UP? 603 00:35:10,667 --> 00:35:15,933 DR. NOW TOLD ME I WAS TAKING TOO MUCH PAIN MEDICINE. 604 00:35:15,933 --> 00:35:19,933 AND THAT DID A LOT OF DAMAGE TO MY STOMACH. 605 00:35:23,500 --> 00:35:26,400 AND NOW I'M BACK IN THE HOSPITAL, 606 00:35:26,400 --> 00:35:30,300 AND I FEEL LIKE I HAVE TO START ALL OVER AGAIN. 607 00:35:30,300 --> 00:35:33,433 THEY HAD TO OPEN ME UP, 608 00:35:33,433 --> 00:35:36,633 SO IT HURTS TO WALK RIGHT NOW. 609 00:35:36,633 --> 00:35:40,967 IT'S JUST HARD BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE I'VE MADE SO MUCH PROGRESS, 610 00:35:40,967 --> 00:35:42,967 AND IT'S JUST WASTED NOW. 611 00:35:42,967 --> 00:35:44,667 BREATHE, BREATHE, BREATHE, BREATHE. 612 00:35:44,667 --> 00:35:48,767 AND I HAVE TO WORK UP ALL MY STRENGTH TO WALK AGAIN. 613 00:35:51,633 --> 00:35:54,967 I'M JUST SO FRUSTRATED RIGHT NOW... 614 00:35:54,967 --> 00:35:58,067 AND ANGRY. 615 00:35:58,067 --> 00:35:59,833 [ WHIMPERS ] 616 00:35:59,833 --> 00:36:01,867 THERE YOU GO. GOOD JOB. 617 00:36:01,867 --> 00:36:03,067 I DON'T WANT TO WALK. 618 00:36:03,067 --> 00:36:04,500 NO, YOU DON'T HAVE TO WALK. 619 00:36:04,500 --> 00:36:06,133 I CAN'T MOVE. IT'S GONNA GO. 620 00:36:06,133 --> 00:36:07,233 OKAY. COME ON. 621 00:36:07,233 --> 00:36:08,233 GO AHEAD AND SIT. 622 00:36:08,233 --> 00:36:09,400 SIT DOWN. 623 00:36:09,400 --> 00:36:10,867 I DON'T WANT TO HAVE TO DO THIS ALL AGAIN. 624 00:36:10,867 --> 00:36:13,300 GOOD JOB! GOOD JOB! 625 00:36:13,300 --> 00:36:15,467 AND THE DOC SAID I NEED TO SEE A THERAPIST 626 00:36:15,467 --> 00:36:18,467 AS SOON AS I'M ABLE TO GET AROUND AGAIN. 627 00:36:18,467 --> 00:36:21,300 I KNOW I NEED TO TALK TO SOMEONE, 628 00:36:21,300 --> 00:36:24,667 BUT I'M SCARED THAT IT'S NOT GONNA HELP... 629 00:36:24,667 --> 00:36:25,500 NOT TODAY, OKAY? 630 00:36:25,500 --> 00:36:27,400 THANK Y'ALL. BYE-BYE. 631 00:36:27,400 --> 00:36:30,833 ...AND I'M GONNA HAVE TO RETURN TO FOOD AT SOME POINT. 632 00:36:44,900 --> 00:36:48,200 IT WAS A LONG RECOVERY IN THE HOSPITAL, 633 00:36:48,200 --> 00:36:51,400 BUT I'M ABLE TO WALK SOME WITH A WALKER RIGHT NOW. 634 00:36:51,400 --> 00:36:53,967 SO DR. NOWZARADAN DISCHARGED ME 635 00:36:53,967 --> 00:36:56,333 AND IS SENDING ME TO SEE A THERAPIST. 636 00:36:56,333 --> 00:36:59,733 I'M A LITTLE NERVOUS BECAUSE I KNOW 637 00:36:59,733 --> 00:37:03,133 THIS IS SUPPOSED TO HELP ME FIND HEALTHY WAYS 638 00:37:03,133 --> 00:37:05,067 TO COPE WITH MY EMOTIONS. 639 00:37:05,067 --> 00:37:07,700 BUT WHAT IF I CAN'T? 640 00:37:07,700 --> 00:37:11,067 I'M JUST SCARED THAT NOTHING IS GONNA BE ABLE 641 00:37:11,067 --> 00:37:13,133 TO HELP ME COPE LIKE FOOD HAS. 642 00:37:13,133 --> 00:37:15,400 I'M ASHLEY. 643 00:37:15,400 --> 00:37:17,133 I'M SANTHI. I'M SORRY. 644 00:37:17,133 --> 00:37:19,200 DR. PERIASAMY. 645 00:37:19,200 --> 00:37:21,200 WHY DON'T YOU TELL ME A LITTLE BIT ABOUT YOURSELF 646 00:37:21,200 --> 00:37:23,567 AND KIND OF WHAT BRINGS YOU HERE TODAY. 647 00:37:23,567 --> 00:37:27,567 I AM GOING THROUGH A PROCESS FOR MAJOR WEIGHT LOSS. 648 00:37:27,567 --> 00:37:30,533 TELL ME WHAT LED YOU TO THIS POINT IN YOUR LIFE. 649 00:37:30,533 --> 00:37:33,967 I WAS A PRODUCT OF SEXUAL ABUSE. 650 00:37:33,967 --> 00:37:36,367 I WAS SCARED TO TELL ANYBODY. 651 00:37:36,367 --> 00:37:37,633 OKAY. 652 00:37:37,633 --> 00:37:40,467 AND I WENT ALONG WITH IT 653 00:37:40,467 --> 00:37:42,067 BECAUSE I HAD A LITTLE SISTER 654 00:37:42,067 --> 00:37:44,067 AND I HAD A LITTLE BROTHER TO PROTECT, 655 00:37:44,067 --> 00:37:46,300 SO I WAS PROTECTING MY SISTER FROM THE BASTARD. 656 00:37:46,300 --> 00:37:47,967 SURE. 657 00:37:47,967 --> 00:37:50,100 [ Voice breaking ] AND HE DIDN'T TOUCH HER, 658 00:37:50,100 --> 00:37:52,900 SO I DID PROTECT HER, IN A WAY. 659 00:37:52,900 --> 00:37:54,867 THAT KIND OF FELT LIKE YOU SACRIFICED YOURSELF 660 00:37:54,867 --> 00:37:56,333 TO PROTECT HER. 661 00:37:56,333 --> 00:38:00,500 THAT'S A LOT TO HOLD AND CARRY ALL BY YOURSELF. 662 00:38:00,500 --> 00:38:02,633 I TURNED TO FOOD FOR COMFORT. 663 00:38:02,633 --> 00:38:04,600 FOOD ALMOST KILLED ME. 664 00:38:04,600 --> 00:38:06,433 IT'S NOT MY COMFORT ANYMORE. 665 00:38:06,433 --> 00:38:09,300 I'M HAVING A HARD TIME FINDING THAT COMFORT. 666 00:38:09,300 --> 00:38:13,267 WHEN PEOPLE ARE LOSING KIND OF FOOD AS A COPING MECHANISM, 667 00:38:13,267 --> 00:38:17,067 WHAT YOU END UP FINDING IS YOU GET A FLOOD OF EMOTION. 668 00:38:17,067 --> 00:38:21,533 SOMETIMES IF WE CAN GET TO THE ROOT OF WHERE ANXIETY IS, 669 00:38:21,533 --> 00:38:23,667 THEN WE CAN KIND OF FIGURE OUT HOW TO COPE. 670 00:38:23,667 --> 00:38:28,467 SOMETIMES PEOPLE JOURNAL, SOMETIMES THEY CREATE SOMETHING. 671 00:38:28,467 --> 00:38:31,433 JUST TRACKING EMOTIONS AND FEELINGS 672 00:38:31,433 --> 00:38:33,567 CAN SOMETIMES BE HELPFUL. 673 00:38:35,100 --> 00:38:37,233 ALL RIGHT, WELL, IT WAS SO NICE TO MEET YOU. 674 00:38:37,233 --> 00:38:38,633 IT WAS NICE TO MEET YOU, TOO? 675 00:38:38,633 --> 00:38:40,200 AND I LOOK FORWARD TO SEEING YOU AGAIN, OKAY? 676 00:38:40,200 --> 00:38:41,533 THANK YOU. 677 00:38:41,533 --> 00:38:43,867 Ashley: I'VE SPENT A LOT OF TIME 678 00:38:43,867 --> 00:38:46,333 AVOIDING FEELING MUCH OF ANYTHING. 679 00:38:46,333 --> 00:38:50,367 YOU CAN'T JUST CHANGE THAT IN AN INSTANT. 680 00:38:50,367 --> 00:38:54,267 AND I'M SCARED I'M NOT GONNA BE ABLE TO. 681 00:38:54,267 --> 00:38:56,767 ALL I KNOW IS FOOD. 682 00:38:56,767 --> 00:39:00,933 AND IT'S GONNA BE SO HARD NOT TO GO BACK TO IT 683 00:39:00,933 --> 00:39:03,933 IF I CAN'T FIGURE OUT HOW TO DO THIS. 684 00:39:09,800 --> 00:39:11,967 ** 685 00:39:19,067 --> 00:39:22,200 I'VE BEEN WORKING HARD THIS PAST MONTH 686 00:39:22,200 --> 00:39:24,200 TO WALK AS MUCH AS I CAN. 687 00:39:24,200 --> 00:39:27,633 AND I'M ABLE TO WALK AROUND A LITTLE BIT AT A TIME 688 00:39:27,633 --> 00:39:29,067 WITHOUT THE WALKER. 689 00:39:29,067 --> 00:39:33,067 I'M ALSO TRYING TO DEAL WITH MY EMOTIONS WHEN I HAVE THEM, 690 00:39:33,067 --> 00:39:35,533 INSTEAD OF RUNNING FROM THEM. 691 00:39:35,533 --> 00:39:37,467 IT'S NOT EASY. 692 00:39:37,467 --> 00:39:39,900 HEY, BABY. 693 00:39:39,900 --> 00:39:44,833 BUT I'M TRYING NEW THINGS EACH DAY TO WORK THROUGH HOW I FEEL, 694 00:39:44,833 --> 00:39:48,067 INSTEAD OF AVOIDING IT UNTIL I GET OVERWHELMED. 695 00:39:48,067 --> 00:39:50,667 THANK YOU, BABY. 696 00:39:50,667 --> 00:39:53,067 I WANT TO DO MORE WITH PATRICK. 697 00:39:53,067 --> 00:39:55,467 HE LOVES GOING FISHING WITH HIS DAD, 698 00:39:55,467 --> 00:39:58,067 AND HE ALWAYS WANTS ME TO GO WITH HIM. 699 00:39:58,067 --> 00:39:59,900 I'VE NEVER BEEN ABLE TO, 700 00:39:59,900 --> 00:40:03,100 SO MY GOAL IS TO NOT ONLY LOSE 225 POUNDS 701 00:40:03,100 --> 00:40:04,567 BY MY NEXT CHECKUP 702 00:40:04,567 --> 00:40:08,033 BUT TO SURPRISE THEM BY GOING FISHING. 703 00:40:12,967 --> 00:40:14,267 OVER THE LAST FEW WEEKS, 704 00:40:14,267 --> 00:40:16,167 I HAD A TALK WITH JAKE AND MY MOM 705 00:40:16,167 --> 00:40:19,867 ABOUT HOW HARD IT IS TO BE AROUND THE FOOD THEY EAT. 706 00:40:19,867 --> 00:40:22,900 THEY UNDERSTOOD A LOT MORE THAN I THOUGHT, 707 00:40:22,900 --> 00:40:27,000 AND I WISH I HADN'T WAITED SO LONG TO TALK TO THEM ABOUT IT. 708 00:40:27,000 --> 00:40:29,833 Jacob: WE'RE TRYING TO INCORPORATE SOME VEGETABLES 709 00:40:29,833 --> 00:40:31,900 INTO OUR DIET IN DIFFERENT THINGS. 710 00:40:31,900 --> 00:40:33,200 VEGETABLES AREN'T MY FAVORITE, 711 00:40:33,200 --> 00:40:35,167 BUT I'M TRYING TO INCORPORATE THEM IN THERE 712 00:40:35,167 --> 00:40:36,767 BECAUSE ASHLEY HAS WORKED SO HARD. 713 00:40:36,767 --> 00:40:39,400 I LOVE HER, AND I'M DOING THIS FOR HER. 714 00:40:39,400 --> 00:40:41,733 -SO, IS SQUASH... -GOOD. 715 00:40:41,733 --> 00:40:45,533 Ashley: I'M JUST SO THANKFUL MY FAMILY IS COMMITTED TO THIS WITH ME, 716 00:40:45,533 --> 00:40:48,833 BECAUSE I KNOW I COULDN'T KEEP DOING THIS ON MY OWN. 717 00:40:51,000 --> 00:40:53,967 ** 718 00:40:53,967 --> 00:40:57,300 I KNOW I'VE BEEN MAKING GOOD PROGRESS, 719 00:40:57,300 --> 00:41:02,300 AND I'M EXCITED TO SEE IF I HIT MY GOAL OF LOSING 225 POUNDS. 720 00:41:02,300 --> 00:41:03,567 Woman: 470. 721 00:41:03,567 --> 00:41:04,800 [ LAUGHS ] 722 00:41:04,800 --> 00:41:08,533 SO, YOU'RE DOWN TO 255 POUNDS. 723 00:41:08,533 --> 00:41:10,600 HOW DOES IT FEEL TO LOSE ALL THAT WEIGHT? 724 00:41:10,600 --> 00:41:13,067 CRAZY. IT'S AMAZING. 725 00:41:13,067 --> 00:41:14,267 IT'S BEEN A HARD ROAD, 726 00:41:14,267 --> 00:41:16,833 BUT I THINK, OVERALL, YOU'RE DOING VERY WELL. 727 00:41:16,833 --> 00:41:19,600 ASHLEY HAS MADE GREAT PROGRESS, 728 00:41:19,600 --> 00:41:23,533 AND I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO SEEING HER HIT HER GOAL WEIGHT 729 00:41:23,533 --> 00:41:24,900 IN THE NEXT YEAR OR SO. 730 00:41:24,900 --> 00:41:28,300 Ashley: I AM SO GLAD FOR THIS PAST YEAR. 731 00:41:28,300 --> 00:41:33,233 NOW I CAN BE A PART OF MY FAMILY AND GIVE BACK TO THEM, 732 00:41:33,233 --> 00:41:36,633 INSTEAD OF THEM JUST TAKING CARE OF ME. 733 00:41:39,900 --> 00:41:42,200 I SURPRISED PATRICK THIS MORNING 734 00:41:42,200 --> 00:41:45,400 AND TOLD HIM THAT I'M GOING WITH HIM AND JAKE 735 00:41:45,400 --> 00:41:47,600 ON THEIR FISHING TRIP THIS TIME. 736 00:41:47,600 --> 00:41:51,667 AND IT WAS SO WONDERFUL TO SEE HIM LIGHT UP WITH EXCITEMENT. 737 00:41:51,667 --> 00:41:54,733 I'M DOING THINGS NOW THAT I HAVEN'T DONE IN FOREVER. 738 00:41:54,733 --> 00:41:56,267 [ LAUGHS ] 739 00:41:56,267 --> 00:41:57,633 GET HIM. AAH! 740 00:41:57,633 --> 00:41:59,367 Jacob: FEELS REALLY GOOD TO BE ABLE 741 00:41:59,367 --> 00:42:01,400 TO GO AND DO THINGS AS A FAMILY TOGETHER. 742 00:42:01,400 --> 00:42:03,167 THIS SURGERY HAS DONE A LOT FOR HER. 743 00:42:03,167 --> 00:42:05,700 SHE'S MORE HAPPY THAN SHE'S BEEN IN A REALLY LONG TIME. 744 00:42:05,700 --> 00:42:10,333 I'M HAVING A BUNCH OF FUN CATCHING FISH WITH MY MOMMY. 745 00:42:10,333 --> 00:42:12,433 NOW THAT SHE'S LOSING WEIGHT, 746 00:42:12,433 --> 00:42:15,867 WE CAN GO TO AQUARIUMS TOGETHER AND TO THE ZOO. 747 00:42:15,867 --> 00:42:18,667 I LOVE MY MOM BUNCHES AND BUNCHES. 748 00:42:18,667 --> 00:42:23,100 Ashley: IT'S JOYFUL FOR ME TO SEE PATRICK HAVE A GOOD TIME. 749 00:42:23,100 --> 00:42:25,133 I AM A BIG PART OF MY FAMILY NOW. 750 00:42:25,133 --> 00:42:27,533 FOR THAT, I'M GRATEFUL. 751 00:42:27,533 --> 00:42:32,167 AND I'M NOT DOING ANYTHING TO LOSE THAT EVER AGAIN. 751 00:42:33,305 --> 00:43:33,545 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org