"My 600-lb Life" Laura & Chay

1 00:00:02,033 --> 00:00:06,367 -- Captions by VITAC -- www.vitac.com 2 00:00:06,367 --> 00:00:08,467 Milla: I CAN'T EVEN TAKE CARE OF MYSELF. 3 00:00:08,467 --> 00:00:11,367 MY CHILDREN HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING FOR ME. 4 00:00:11,367 --> 00:00:13,900 Charity: I FEEL LIKE SOME MONSTER. 5 00:00:13,900 --> 00:00:16,200 Nikki: I'M IN SO MUCH PAIN. 6 00:00:16,200 --> 00:00:18,933 [ Crying ] IT'S MISERABLE. 7 00:00:18,933 --> 00:00:22,633 Brittani: MY BODY IS THE MOST DISGUSTING THING IN THE WORLD. 8 00:00:22,633 --> 00:00:25,133 ** 9 00:00:25,133 --> 00:00:26,867 Woman: I'M TERRIFIED RIGHT NOW. 10 00:00:26,867 --> 00:00:30,867 June: I'M RISKING MY LIFE FOR A BETTER LIFE. 11 00:00:30,867 --> 00:00:32,900 I LOVE YOU, MOMMY. 12 00:00:34,000 --> 00:00:40,074 Watch Online Movies and Series for FREE www.osdb.link/lm 13 00:00:43,467 --> 00:00:46,100 -OOH, CHILD! -PULL. GOOD. THERE YOU GO! 14 00:00:46,100 --> 00:00:47,600 GOOD JOB. 15 00:00:47,600 --> 00:00:51,233 Teretha: I'M GETTING STRONGER, BUT I KNOW I HAVE A LONG WAY TO GO. 16 00:00:51,233 --> 00:00:53,900 Paula: I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE WHAT THE FUTURE HOLDS. 17 00:00:53,900 --> 00:00:57,533 ** 18 00:00:57,533 --> 00:01:02,200 Susan: I AM NOW EXPRESSING MYSELF AND LIVING MY OWN TRUTH. 19 00:01:02,200 --> 00:01:04,767 Milla: I'M SO HAPPY ABOUT THE PROGRESS I'VE MADE. 20 00:01:04,767 --> 00:01:08,867 June: I AM LIVING LIFE, AND I'M LOVING EVERY SECOND OF IT. 21 00:01:11,333 --> 00:01:13,233 I'M MORE MOTIVATED THAN EVER. 22 00:01:13,233 --> 00:01:15,400 I'M SO EXCITED RIGHT NOW. 23 00:01:15,400 --> 00:01:19,733 CAPTIONS PAID FOR BY DISCOVERY COMMUNICATIONS 24 00:01:19,733 --> 00:01:23,100 Laura: I FEEL LIKE I'M TRAPPED IN THIS BODY. 25 00:01:23,100 --> 00:01:25,367 IT'S JUST HUMILIATING. 26 00:01:25,367 --> 00:01:29,333 THERE'S SOME DAYS I WANT TO DIE. 27 00:01:29,333 --> 00:01:32,767 WE DO MOSTLY EVERYTHING FOR HER. 28 00:01:32,767 --> 00:01:34,900 SHE NEEDS SOMEBODY ALL THE TIME. 29 00:01:34,900 --> 00:01:38,933 Laura: [ Crying ] IT'S AN UGLY FEELING. 30 00:01:38,933 --> 00:01:43,200 I DON'T WANT NOBODY TO EVER HAVE TO GO THROUGH THIS. 31 00:01:47,133 --> 00:01:52,067 EVERY TIME I HAVE A STRESS IN MY LIFE, I TURN TO SWEETS. 32 00:01:52,067 --> 00:01:54,500 AND I FEEL LIKE I'M FAILING. 33 00:01:54,500 --> 00:01:58,233 I FEEL LIKE I'M GIVING UP. 34 00:01:58,233 --> 00:02:00,067 AND I HAVE TO DO SOMETHING 35 00:02:00,067 --> 00:02:02,800 OR I'M NOT GONNA BE AROUND MUCH LONGER. 36 00:02:09,767 --> 00:02:12,367 I'M A LITTLE SCARED TO FIND OUT MY WEIGHT. 37 00:02:14,100 --> 00:02:16,200 WHOA. 38 00:02:16,200 --> 00:02:20,967 LAURA IS PHYSICALLY IN ONE OF THE WORST SHAPE I HAVE SEEN. 39 00:02:20,967 --> 00:02:23,567 YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO GET CONTROL OF YOUR EATING, 40 00:02:23,567 --> 00:02:27,900 AND I NEED YOU TO LOSE 50 POUNDS OVER THE NEXT COUPLE MONTHS. 41 00:02:27,900 --> 00:02:32,233 THIS IS STEAMED CHICKEN WITH VEGETABLES, BELL PEPPER, 42 00:02:32,233 --> 00:02:34,067 ONION, AND MUSHROOMS. 43 00:02:34,067 --> 00:02:37,233 IT'S VERY DIFFERENT THAN WHAT I WAS EATING. 44 00:02:37,233 --> 00:02:40,067 Joey: SHE'S REALLY STICKING TO HER DIET, 45 00:02:40,067 --> 00:02:42,067 SO I'M HAPPY ABOUT THAT. 46 00:02:42,067 --> 00:02:43,633 Laura: OH, MY GOSH. 47 00:02:43,633 --> 00:02:45,067 YOU'VE LOST QUITE A BIT OF WEIGHT, 48 00:02:45,067 --> 00:02:47,433 SO I'M GOING TO APPROVE YOU FOR SURGERY. 49 00:02:47,433 --> 00:02:49,500 WE'RE GONNA SCHEDULE YOU AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. 50 00:02:49,500 --> 00:02:52,500 [ LAUGHS ] 51 00:02:52,500 --> 00:02:57,100 Dr. Nowzaradan: LAURA HAS VERY LARGE LIVER THAT COVER UP A PART OF THE STOMACH, 52 00:02:57,100 --> 00:03:00,500 AND THAT MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE TO DO A BYPASS. 53 00:03:00,500 --> 00:03:04,133 SO WE HAVE TO DO A SLEEVE GASTRECTOMY. 54 00:03:04,133 --> 00:03:06,433 THIS SURGERY WILL STILL HELP HER, 55 00:03:06,433 --> 00:03:09,800 BUT NOT AS MUCH AS A FULL BYPASS. 56 00:03:12,133 --> 00:03:16,100 Laura: I'M TRYING TO GET MY LIFE BACK, BUT I STILL CRAVINGS, 57 00:03:16,100 --> 00:03:17,500 AND I'VE BEEN THROWING UP A LOT 58 00:03:17,500 --> 00:03:20,700 BECAUSE I'M EATING MORE THAN MY STOMACH CAN HOLD. 59 00:03:26,433 --> 00:03:28,533 Dr. Nowzaradan: IT'S NOT LOOKING GOOD RIGHT NOW. 60 00:03:28,533 --> 00:03:30,667 SHE'S VERY CLOSE TO DIE. 61 00:03:30,667 --> 00:03:31,933 Joey: LAURA IS MY LIFE. 62 00:03:31,933 --> 00:03:34,933 SHE'S BEEN THERE WITH ME THROUGH THICK AND THIN. 63 00:03:39,667 --> 00:03:42,567 COMING THAT CLOSE TO DEATH MADE ME REALIZE 64 00:03:42,567 --> 00:03:45,433 HOW MUCH OF MY LIFE I'VE WASTED. 65 00:03:45,433 --> 00:03:49,200 I'VE TAKEN ALL THIS PAIN AND BITTERNESS, 66 00:03:49,200 --> 00:03:53,133 AND ALL I DID WAS EAT INSTEAD OF DEALING WITH IT. 67 00:03:53,133 --> 00:03:57,067 WHEN I WAS YOUNG, ONE OF MY OLDER COUSINS MOLESTED ME. 68 00:03:57,067 --> 00:03:59,200 I BLAMED MY MOM FOR WHAT HAPPENED, 69 00:03:59,200 --> 00:04:01,767 AND I NEVER LET THAT GO. 70 00:04:01,767 --> 00:04:05,533 I BLAMED YOU, BUT IT WASN'T YOUR FAULT. 71 00:04:05,533 --> 00:04:07,333 Dr. Nowzaradan: LAURA HAS PROVEN THAT SHE CAN 72 00:04:07,333 --> 00:04:10,167 GET HER EMOTIONAL EATING UNDER CONTROL. 73 00:04:10,167 --> 00:04:11,933 WE JUST NEED TO MAKE SURE 74 00:04:11,933 --> 00:04:14,967 THAT WE KEEP THIS GOING IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION. 75 00:04:19,600 --> 00:04:22,533 Laura: ME LOSING WEIGHT IS HARD ON JOEY. 76 00:04:22,533 --> 00:04:24,833 Joey: I FEEL LIKE I'M ON THE SIDELINES. 77 00:04:24,833 --> 00:04:26,700 SHE DON'T NEED ME AS OFTEN, 78 00:04:26,700 --> 00:04:29,100 AND I'M A LITTLE SCARED OF LOSING HER 79 00:04:29,100 --> 00:04:31,200 WITH ALL THE CHANGES WE'RE GOING THROUGH. 80 00:04:31,200 --> 00:04:32,567 Laura: THIS ISN'T ABOUT HIM. 81 00:04:32,567 --> 00:04:35,567 I NEED TO LOSE THE WEIGHT FOR ME. 82 00:04:35,567 --> 00:04:39,233 JOEY AND I ARE GOING TO SEE A MARRIAGE COUNSELOR TODAY. 83 00:04:39,233 --> 00:04:43,167 OUR RELATIONSHIP HAS REACHED ITS BREAKING POINT, 84 00:04:43,167 --> 00:04:45,633 AND I DON'T WANT TO LOSE HIM. 85 00:04:45,633 --> 00:04:47,067 I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU GET MAD 86 00:04:47,067 --> 00:04:48,567 WHEN I'M JUST TRYING TO HELP YOU. 87 00:04:48,567 --> 00:04:55,733 BECAUSE YOU MAKE ME FEEL LIKE I'M THAT BIG PERSON AGAIN. 88 00:04:55,733 --> 00:04:57,500 Woman: THAT'S A CHOICE THAT YOU STAY NOW, 89 00:04:57,500 --> 00:04:58,900 OR A CHOICE THAT YOU CAN LEAVE. 90 00:04:58,900 --> 00:05:00,800 AND I WOULD NEVER LEAVE YOU. 91 00:05:00,800 --> 00:05:02,067 WHY DO YOU CHOOSE TO STAY? 92 00:05:02,067 --> 00:05:03,767 BECAUSE I LOVE HIM. 93 00:05:03,767 --> 00:05:05,300 I LOVE YOU, TOO. 94 00:05:13,233 --> 00:05:16,067 THIS EXTRA SKIN MAKES ME FEEL DISGUSTING, 95 00:05:16,067 --> 00:05:18,600 AND I AM VERY EMBARRASSED OF MY BODY. 96 00:05:22,800 --> 00:05:25,567 THIS PART IS REALLY ANNOYING. 97 00:05:25,567 --> 00:05:27,500 Dr. Nowzaradan: I'LL REMOVE THAT SMALL MASS. 98 00:05:27,500 --> 00:05:30,267 BUT UNTIL YOU LOSE MORE WEIGHT, REST OF YOUR BODY 99 00:05:30,267 --> 00:05:32,267 IS NOT READY SKIN SURGERY. 100 00:05:32,267 --> 00:05:36,167 Dr. Nowzaradan: WE REMOVED ABOUT 5 POUNDS OF MASS IN LOWER ABDOMEN, 101 00:05:36,167 --> 00:05:38,067 AND IT'S GOING TO HAVE A BIG IMPACT 102 00:05:38,067 --> 00:05:40,367 ON HER ABILITY TO BE ACTIVE. 103 00:05:40,367 --> 00:05:42,767 Laura: THIS JOURNEY HAS BEEN VERY LONG, 104 00:05:42,767 --> 00:05:45,567 AND I STILL HAVE MORE WORK LEFT TO DO, 105 00:05:45,567 --> 00:05:47,600 BUT I'M GONNA REACH MY GOALS. 106 00:06:07,100 --> 00:06:10,067 ONE OF MY FAVORITE THINGS ABOUT LOSING 300 POUNDS 107 00:06:10,067 --> 00:06:13,267 IS ALL THE CLOTHES I CAN WEAR NOW. 108 00:06:13,267 --> 00:06:14,700 BUT I'M STILL LOSING WEIGHT, 109 00:06:14,700 --> 00:06:17,967 SO THEY GET BAGGY ON ME REALLY QUICK. 110 00:06:17,967 --> 00:06:21,467 SO I STILL CAN'T GO OUT AND BUY A WHOLE NEW WARDROBE. 111 00:06:21,467 --> 00:06:24,067 BUT WHEN I HOLD AN OUTFIT UP TO ME, 112 00:06:24,067 --> 00:06:28,767 THAT REMINDS ME OF HOW BIG I WAS AND HOW FAR I'VE COME. 113 00:06:28,767 --> 00:06:31,233 AND IT REMINDS ME THAT I NEVER WANT TO GO BACK 114 00:06:31,233 --> 00:06:33,067 TO THE SIZE I WAS. 115 00:06:33,067 --> 00:06:36,333 I WILL NEVER GO BACK TO BEING THAT PERSON I WAS BEFORE. 116 00:06:36,333 --> 00:06:39,600 I'M HAPPY WHERE I'M AT NOW, AND I KNOW THAT 117 00:06:39,600 --> 00:06:42,067 AFTER I'M DONE WITH EVERYTHING, 118 00:06:42,067 --> 00:06:44,267 I'M GONNA BE A BETTER PERSON. 119 00:06:44,267 --> 00:06:47,100 THIS SHIRT USED TO FIT ME, LIKE, RIGHT THERE, 120 00:06:47,100 --> 00:06:50,367 SO LIKE HALF OF MY STOMACH WOULD SHOW. 121 00:06:50,367 --> 00:06:54,500 AND NOW THIS -- IT WILL FIT ME, LIKE, RIGHT THERE. 122 00:06:58,100 --> 00:07:02,133 I LOVE ALL THE WAYS MY LIFE IS BETTER. 123 00:07:02,133 --> 00:07:06,167 I'M MORE ACTIVE NOW THAN I WAS BEFORE. 124 00:07:06,167 --> 00:07:10,700 SO I DON'T HAVE TO HAVE ANYONE TAKE CARE OF ME NOW. 125 00:07:10,700 --> 00:07:13,533 I DO EVERYTHING FOR MYSELF. 126 00:07:13,533 --> 00:07:15,433 TO BE INDEPENDENT IS AWESOME 127 00:07:15,433 --> 00:07:18,900 BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE TO ASK NOBODY FOR ANYTHING. 128 00:07:18,900 --> 00:07:24,067 SO I WANT TO KEEP GOING AND DO EVEN MORE. 129 00:07:24,067 --> 00:07:27,767 AND I'M HOPING TO GET TO MY TARGET WEIGHT THIS YEAR 130 00:07:27,767 --> 00:07:30,467 SO I CAN GET OUT AND FIND A JOB AND JOEY 131 00:07:30,467 --> 00:07:32,867 AND I CAN FINALLY MOVE OUT OF MY PARENTS' HOUSE, 132 00:07:32,867 --> 00:07:37,167 BECAUSE MY MOM HAD TO HELP TAKE CARE OF ME WHEN JOEY COULDN'T. 133 00:07:37,167 --> 00:07:41,567 BUT NOW THAT I DON'T NEED EITHER OF THEM TO WATCH AFTER ME, 134 00:07:41,567 --> 00:07:42,600 I COULD START WORKING, 135 00:07:42,600 --> 00:07:44,767 THEN WE CAN AFFORD OUR OWN PLACE. 136 00:07:44,767 --> 00:07:48,400 SO I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO DO SO MUCH AS SOON 137 00:07:48,400 --> 00:07:51,067 AS I FINISH MY WEIGHT-LOSS JOURNEY. 138 00:07:51,067 --> 00:07:56,300 BUT I DON'T WANT TO STOP OR SLOW DOWN ANYTIME SOON. 139 00:07:56,300 --> 00:07:59,900 I'M AROUND A HUNDRED POUNDS FROM MY TARGET WEIGHT, 140 00:07:59,900 --> 00:08:02,067 AND I WANT TO KEEP GOING AND LOSE 141 00:08:02,067 --> 00:08:04,267 WHAT I NEED NO MATTER WHAT. 142 00:08:06,600 --> 00:08:09,067 BUT IT'S BEEN A LITTLE HARDER LATELY 143 00:08:09,067 --> 00:08:12,667 BECAUSE I HAVE A TOOTH INFECTION 144 00:08:12,667 --> 00:08:16,400 AND IT'S MAKING THE REST OF MY BODY STRUGGLE. 145 00:08:16,400 --> 00:08:20,367 SO WHAT I'VE BEEN STRUGGLING WITH LATELY IS MY SYSTEM 146 00:08:20,367 --> 00:08:25,100 IS ALWAYS ON A MEDICATION TO HELP IT HEAL -- 147 00:08:25,100 --> 00:08:29,800 ANTIBIOTIC AFTER ANTIBIOTIC AFTER ANTIBIOTIC. 148 00:08:29,800 --> 00:08:32,700 AND IT JUST REMINDS ME OF HOW MUCH STRAIN 149 00:08:32,700 --> 00:08:36,067 I PUT ON MY BODY FOR SO MANY YEARS 150 00:08:36,067 --> 00:08:41,367 AND HOW IT CAN'T HANDLE EVEN THE SIMPLEST THINGS SOMETIMES. 151 00:08:41,367 --> 00:08:46,267 SO I'M JUST GRATEFUL TO HAVE LOST THE WEIGHT I HAVE. 152 00:08:46,267 --> 00:08:51,067 BECAUSE I KNOW IF THIS WOULD'VE HAPPENED BEFORE I DID, 153 00:08:51,067 --> 00:08:54,233 I PROBABLY WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO SURVIVE IT. 154 00:08:54,233 --> 00:08:58,367 SO RIGHT NOW, I'M STRUGGLING UNTIL I CAN RECOVER FROM THIS. 155 00:08:58,367 --> 00:09:01,433 SO, HOW DID YOU SLEEP LAST NIGHT? 156 00:09:01,433 --> 00:09:02,900 I'M TAKING THOSE MUSCLE RELAXERS. 157 00:09:02,900 --> 00:09:04,533 SO YOU PASSED OUT, HUH? 158 00:09:04,533 --> 00:09:07,467 ONCE I TAKE IT, IT IS ALL LIGHTS OUT. 159 00:09:07,467 --> 00:09:09,667 I JUST FORGET. 160 00:09:12,067 --> 00:09:15,267 SO, I'M WORKING TO IMPROVE MY BODY RIGHT NOW, 161 00:09:15,267 --> 00:09:18,600 AND I'M STILL WORKING THROUGH THINGS EMOTIONALLY, TOO. 162 00:09:21,867 --> 00:09:25,433 THE HARDEST ISSUE IS PROBABLY ALL THE DIFFICULTY JOEY 163 00:09:25,433 --> 00:09:27,967 AND I ARE HAVING. 164 00:09:27,967 --> 00:09:30,367 FOR ALMOST 15 YEARS, OUR RELATIONSHIP 165 00:09:30,367 --> 00:09:35,067 HAS REVOLVED AROUND HIM TAKING CARE OF ME. 166 00:09:35,067 --> 00:09:38,633 AND NOW THAT ALL THAT'S CHANGED, WE'RE HAVING TO WORK THROUGH 167 00:09:38,633 --> 00:09:41,600 HOW IT'S ALTERED OUR RELATIONSHIP. 168 00:09:41,600 --> 00:09:44,900 AND I DON'T THINK JOEY WANTS ME TO KEEP LOSING MORE WEIGHT. 169 00:09:44,900 --> 00:09:49,333 IN FACT, HE TOLD ME, "NO, I DON'T WANT YOU TOO SKINNY." 170 00:09:49,333 --> 00:09:52,700 AND THE OTHER DAY, HE WAS LIKE, "WHERE DID YOUR BUTT GO?" 171 00:09:52,700 --> 00:09:57,267 SO JOEY IS HAVING A HARD TIME WITH HOW MUCH WEIGHT I'VE LOST. 172 00:09:57,267 --> 00:10:00,967 SO WE'RE STILL WORKING TO FIND THE BALANCE BETWEEN US. 173 00:10:00,967 --> 00:10:03,433 AND HE SAID HE WANTS THE OLD ME BACK. 174 00:10:03,433 --> 00:10:06,467 CAN I HAVE THE LITTLE SQUARE CHEESE? 175 00:10:06,467 --> 00:10:07,900 Joey: I'LL DO ANYTHING SHE NEEDS ME TO DO, 176 00:10:07,900 --> 00:10:09,367 BUT, REALLY, SHE DON'T NEED ME 177 00:10:09,367 --> 00:10:12,333 SO I'M JUST KIND OF ON THE SIDELINES. 178 00:10:12,333 --> 00:10:16,700 AND IT IS HARD FOR ME 'CAUSE I WANT HER TO NEED ME. 179 00:10:16,700 --> 00:10:19,433 Laura: AS MUCH AS I APPRECIATE ALL HE'S DONE FOR ME, 180 00:10:19,433 --> 00:10:21,900 I'M NEVER GOING BACK TO THE WAY I WAS. 181 00:10:21,900 --> 00:10:25,400 AND JOEY IS GOING TO HAVE TO SUPPORT THAT. 182 00:10:25,400 --> 00:10:29,100 AND RIGHT NOW I'M PUSHING MYSELF EVEN HARDER 183 00:10:29,100 --> 00:10:32,300 BECAUSE MY WEIGHT LOSS HAS BEEN PLATEAUING. 184 00:10:32,300 --> 00:10:35,933 AND FOR THE LAST 5 MONTHS, I'VE ONLY LOST 10 POUNDS, 185 00:10:35,933 --> 00:10:39,900 SO I'M EATING AS LITTLE AS POSSIBLE RIGHT NOW. 186 00:10:39,900 --> 00:10:43,167 BUT I'M NOT SURE IF IT'S HELPING ME. 187 00:10:43,167 --> 00:10:45,600 YOU KNOW, A LOT OF PEOPLE -- "OH, I'M GONNA GET THE GASTRIC, 188 00:10:45,600 --> 00:10:47,167 AND I'M GONNA LOSE WEIGHT." 189 00:10:47,167 --> 00:10:50,267 IT DOESN'T WORK LIKE THAT. 190 00:10:50,267 --> 00:10:52,433 I SEE DR. NOW AGAIN IN A MONTH, 191 00:10:52,433 --> 00:10:57,167 AND I'M REALLY HOPING THAT MY WEIGHT LOSS HAS PICKED UP. 192 00:10:57,167 --> 00:11:01,300 BUT IF IT HASN'T, THEN I REALLY DON'T KNOW WHAT MORE I CAN DO. 193 00:11:08,967 --> 00:11:13,133 Chay: I HATE MY LIFE. 194 00:11:13,133 --> 00:11:15,100 I'M 23 YEARS OLD, 195 00:11:15,100 --> 00:11:19,067 AND I CAN HARDLY TAKE CARE OF MYSELF ANYMORE. 196 00:11:19,067 --> 00:11:21,067 AND THAT SCARES ME. 197 00:11:21,067 --> 00:11:24,300 AND I GET VERY AGGRAVATED WITH MYSELF 'CAUSE I THINK, 198 00:11:24,300 --> 00:11:27,233 "HOW COULD YOU LET IT GET THIS FAR?" 199 00:11:33,833 --> 00:11:36,567 I HAD A VERY DARK CHILDHOOD. 200 00:11:36,567 --> 00:11:40,533 I HAVE A LOT OF PAIN AND ANGER TOWARDS MY MOM. 201 00:11:40,533 --> 00:11:45,767 EVERYTHING SHE DID MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO ONE COULD EVER LOVE ME. 202 00:11:45,767 --> 00:11:48,733 SO, WHEN I WAS 15 YEARS OLD, I CAME TO LIVE 203 00:11:48,733 --> 00:11:50,967 WITH MY GRANDPARENTS PERMANENTLY. 204 00:11:50,967 --> 00:11:53,067 FOOD WAS MY COMFORT. 205 00:11:53,067 --> 00:11:55,067 IT WAS THE ONLY THING THAT MADE ME FEEL BETTER. 206 00:11:55,067 --> 00:11:56,367 IT WAS THE ONLY THING THAT MADE ME FEEL 207 00:11:56,367 --> 00:11:58,333 LIKE EVERYTHING WILL BE OKAY. 208 00:11:58,333 --> 00:12:01,933 AND 10 POUNDS HERE LEADS TO 20 POUNDS, LEADS TO 40 POUNDS, 209 00:12:01,933 --> 00:12:08,533 AND BEFORE YOU KNOW IT, GEEZ LOUISE, YOU'RE 600 POUNDS. 210 00:12:08,533 --> 00:12:12,500 AND I KNOW IF I KEEP LIVING LIKE THIS, 211 00:12:12,500 --> 00:12:14,700 I'M NOT GONNA BE ALIVE MUCH LONGER. 212 00:12:21,500 --> 00:12:23,400 WOW! 213 00:12:23,400 --> 00:12:26,800 I'M CONCERNED THAT CHAY THINKS THAT WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY 214 00:12:26,800 --> 00:12:29,567 IS GOING TO SOLVE ALL HIS PROBLEMS. 215 00:12:29,567 --> 00:12:32,533 YOU'RE USING FOOD TO COPE WITH LIFE. 216 00:12:32,533 --> 00:12:35,733 SO I WANT TO SEE YOU TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR EATING 217 00:12:35,733 --> 00:12:37,933 BEFORE WE DO WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY 218 00:12:37,933 --> 00:12:42,133 AND LOSE 40 POUND OVER NEXT COUPLE MONTHS. 219 00:12:47,067 --> 00:12:49,067 Chay: I DON'T THINK I CAN DO THIS WITHOUT MY GRANDMA. 220 00:12:49,067 --> 00:12:52,200 AND I DON'T REALLY CARE ABOUT LOSING WEIGHT. 221 00:12:52,200 --> 00:12:55,667 I JUST WANT THE PAIN TO STOP. 222 00:12:55,667 --> 00:12:57,900 SO, IT'S BEEN FIVE MONTHS, 223 00:12:57,900 --> 00:13:00,300 AND YOU HAVE LOST ALMOST NO WEIGHT. 224 00:13:00,300 --> 00:13:01,467 WHY IS THAT? 225 00:13:01,467 --> 00:13:03,067 MY GRANDMOTHER PASSED AWAY VERY SUDDENLY. 226 00:13:03,067 --> 00:13:05,233 LOSING SOMEONE IS HORRIBLE, 227 00:13:05,233 --> 00:13:08,200 BUT THERE IS NO EXCUSE GOOD ENOUGH 228 00:13:08,200 --> 00:13:10,067 TO LIVE LIKE YOU ARE. 229 00:13:10,067 --> 00:13:13,367 I'M GOING TO SEND YOU TO A THERAPIST TO HELP YOU WITH THIS. 230 00:13:13,367 --> 00:13:14,733 I'M STEPHANIE. NICE TO MEET YOU. 231 00:13:14,733 --> 00:13:16,067 -NICE TO MEET YOU. -COME ON BACK. 232 00:13:16,067 --> 00:13:17,267 OKAY. 233 00:13:17,267 --> 00:13:19,467 MY GRANDMOTHER RAISED ME, AND SHE PASSED AWAY, 234 00:13:19,467 --> 00:13:22,700 SO I JUST BOTTLE IT UP, AND THEN I EAT. 235 00:13:22,700 --> 00:13:24,067 THE FEELINGS ARE GONNA GO SOMEWHERE. 236 00:13:24,067 --> 00:13:26,567 ACKNOWLEDGE WHAT YOU'RE FEELING AND THEN LET IT OUT. 237 00:13:26,567 --> 00:13:33,800 I'M TRYING AND WILL TAKE CONTROL OF MY HEALTH AND MY WELL-BEING. 238 00:13:33,800 --> 00:13:37,367 MY WEIGHT HAS TO BE DOWN TO AT LEAST 550 POUNDS, 239 00:13:37,367 --> 00:13:42,233 AND THIS MAY BE MY LAST CHANCE TO GET WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY. 240 00:13:42,233 --> 00:13:44,267 YOU DID GREAT WITH YOUR WEIGHT LOSS. 241 00:13:44,267 --> 00:13:46,467 I FEEL LIKE YOU'RE READY FOR SURGERY. 242 00:13:46,467 --> 00:13:48,067 [ LAUGHS ] 243 00:13:48,067 --> 00:13:51,967 Dr. Nowzaradan: TODAY WE'RE DOING WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY ON CHAY. 244 00:13:51,967 --> 00:13:55,067 SO NOW HE'LL BE ABLE TO EAT MUCH LESS. 245 00:13:55,067 --> 00:13:59,067 BUT THE BIG FACTOR IS GOING TO BE HE KEEPS DEALING 246 00:13:59,067 --> 00:14:01,733 WITH HIS EMOTION IN HEALTHY WAY. 247 00:14:01,733 --> 00:14:04,800 Chay: THE PAIN FROM MY MOM HAS DRIVEN ME MORE TO FOOD 248 00:14:04,800 --> 00:14:07,067 THAN ANYTHING IN MY LIFE. 249 00:14:07,067 --> 00:14:09,833 SO I HAVE TO FIND A WAY TO LET IT GO. 250 00:14:09,833 --> 00:14:11,233 I COULDN'T EXACTLY COUNT ON YOU. 251 00:14:11,233 --> 00:14:14,333 BECAUSE I'M AN ADDICT, AND I REGRET THAT. 252 00:14:14,333 --> 00:14:17,733 HEARING MY MOM SAY THAT SHE COULD'VE BEEN BETTER AS A MOM, 253 00:14:17,733 --> 00:14:20,200 I FINALLY FEEL LIKE SHE'S HEARD WHAT I'M SAYING 254 00:14:20,200 --> 00:14:24,133 AND THAT MY VOICE IS FINALLY BEING RECEIVED. 255 00:14:24,133 --> 00:14:25,933 CHAY, YOU HAVE COME A LONG WAY. 256 00:14:25,933 --> 00:14:29,067 YOU'RE DOING VERY GOOD. I'M PROUD OF YOU. 257 00:14:29,067 --> 00:14:32,067 I'M HOPING THAT IT'LL GET BETTER AS I DEAL WITH MY EMOTIONS 258 00:14:32,067 --> 00:14:33,933 MORE AND MORE. 259 00:14:38,400 --> 00:14:41,567 ONCE I LOSE THE WEIGHT, IT WILL BE POSSIBLE FOR ME 260 00:14:41,567 --> 00:14:44,733 TO BE THE PERSON I'VE ALWAYS IDENTIFIED AS, 261 00:14:44,733 --> 00:14:46,700 AND THAT PERSON IS A WOMAN. 262 00:14:46,700 --> 00:14:49,233 AND THEN I'M GOING TO HAVE TO COME OUT TO MY FAMILY. 263 00:14:51,633 --> 00:14:54,067 THAT'S ONLY 14 POUND IN 2 MONTHS. 264 00:14:54,067 --> 00:14:56,100 THAT'S NOT A LOT OF PROGRESS. 265 00:14:56,100 --> 00:14:57,667 WHAT'S GOING ON? 266 00:14:57,667 --> 00:15:01,067 I'VE COME TO ADMIT TO MYSELF THAT I'M A TRANSGENDERED PERSON. 267 00:15:01,067 --> 00:15:04,600 ARE YOU GOING TO PURSUE GENDER-REASSIGNMENT SURGERY? 268 00:15:04,600 --> 00:15:06,133 I WANT TO HAVE SURGERY, TOO. 269 00:15:06,133 --> 00:15:06,933 ALL RIGHT. 270 00:15:06,933 --> 00:15:08,667 BUT YOUR BODY CANNOT HANDLE 271 00:15:08,667 --> 00:15:11,600 TWO VERY MAJOR CHANGES AT THE SAME TIME. 272 00:15:11,600 --> 00:15:14,600 SO YOU HAVE TO WAIT FOR ANYTHING VERY BIG 273 00:15:14,600 --> 00:15:17,267 UNTIL YOU GET CLOSE TO YOUR GOAL WEIGHT. 274 00:15:24,367 --> 00:15:26,533 TA-DA! 275 00:15:26,533 --> 00:15:29,067 I AM INDEED A TRANS WOMAN. 276 00:15:29,067 --> 00:15:30,800 YEAH, YOU GOT MY SUPPORT. 277 00:15:30,800 --> 00:15:33,433 WELL, YOU'VE ALWAYS HAD MY SUPPORT FROM THE BEGINNING. 278 00:15:33,433 --> 00:15:36,367 Chay: MY GENDER IDENTITY WAS DEFINITELY PART 279 00:15:36,367 --> 00:15:39,933 OF MY INNER CONFLICT, WHICH CAUSED ME TO OVEREAT. 280 00:15:39,933 --> 00:15:42,067 I'M REALLY HOPING MY WEIGHT LOSS HAS BEEN ENOUGH 281 00:15:42,067 --> 00:15:44,667 TO FINALLY QUALIFY FOR SKIN SURGERY. 282 00:15:44,667 --> 00:15:46,467 I THINK YOU'RE DOING GREAT AND YOU'RE READY 283 00:15:46,467 --> 00:15:48,133 FOR YOUR FIRST SKIN REMOVAL. 284 00:15:48,133 --> 00:15:51,233 I'M SO PROUD OF MYSELF FOR EVERYTHING I'VE ACCOMPLISHED. 285 00:15:51,233 --> 00:15:54,467 I'VE WANTED THIS FOR SO LONG, AND I FEEL LIKE 286 00:15:54,467 --> 00:15:58,067 I'M FINALLY STARTING MY LIFE AS THE PERSON I'VE ALWAYS WANTED 287 00:15:58,067 --> 00:16:00,167 BUT I'VE BEEN TOO AFRAID TO BE. 288 00:16:13,267 --> 00:16:15,333 THE LAST TWO YEARS HAVE BEEN 289 00:16:15,333 --> 00:16:18,067 THE MOST LIFE-CHANGING YEARS OF MY LIFE. 290 00:16:20,367 --> 00:16:24,167 I WAS JUST UNDER 600 POUNDS AND STUCK AT HOME ALL DAY. 291 00:16:26,767 --> 00:16:30,867 AND I'VE GONE FROM BEING TOO BIG TO GO ANYWHERE 292 00:16:30,867 --> 00:16:32,267 TO NOW HAVING A JOB 293 00:16:32,267 --> 00:16:34,533 AND TAKING CARE OF MYSELF DAY TO DAY. 294 00:16:36,733 --> 00:16:40,767 BUT I'M STILL LIVING WITH MY UNCLE AND HIS FAMILY. 295 00:16:40,767 --> 00:16:43,167 AND THAT'S BEEN TOUGH BECAUSE THEY HADN'T SIGNED UP 296 00:16:43,167 --> 00:16:45,667 TO LOSE WEIGHT LIKE I HAD. 297 00:16:45,667 --> 00:16:49,967 AND PROBABLY THE HARDEST THING ABOUT LIVING HERE IS THE FOOD 298 00:16:49,967 --> 00:16:51,900 THAT'S AROUND ME ALL DAY LONG. 299 00:16:51,900 --> 00:16:55,300 SO IT'S UP TO ME TO BE AROUND UNHEALTHY FOOD 300 00:16:55,300 --> 00:16:58,633 AND NOT GIVE IN TO EATING ANY OF IT. 301 00:16:58,633 --> 00:17:02,333 IT DOES MEAN I END UP SPENDING A LOT OF TIME IN MY ROOM 302 00:17:02,333 --> 00:17:06,367 SO I CAN JUST GET AWAY FROM IT ALL. 303 00:17:06,367 --> 00:17:10,467 AND I'M TRYING TO SAVE UP MONEY TO GET A PLACE OF MY OWN NOW 304 00:17:10,467 --> 00:17:13,067 BECAUSE I THINK LIVING ALONE WOULD CAUSE ME 305 00:17:13,067 --> 00:17:16,933 TO HAVE LESS TEMPTATIONS TO CHEAT ON MY DIET. 306 00:17:16,933 --> 00:17:20,967 BUT RIGHT NOW I'M DOING MY BEST. 307 00:17:20,967 --> 00:17:23,400 AND SOME DAYS ARE EASIER THAN OTHERS. 308 00:17:25,600 --> 00:17:28,700 BUT I'M REALLY HAPPY WITH HOW I'M DOING OVERALL. 309 00:17:32,100 --> 00:17:34,800 AND I KNOW, THIS NEXT MONTH, THINGS WILL BE EVEN BETTER 310 00:17:34,800 --> 00:17:37,067 WHEN I'VE RECOVERED FROM MY SKIN-REMOVAL SURGERY 311 00:17:37,067 --> 00:17:38,933 THAT I'M HAVING. 312 00:17:38,933 --> 00:17:42,900 BECAUSE I'LL BE ABLE TO DO EVEN MORE AFTER THAT, 313 00:17:42,900 --> 00:17:45,467 SO I CAN'T WAIT. 314 00:17:45,467 --> 00:17:48,567 I'M LOOKING IN THE MIRROR, AND I DON'T LIKE WHAT I SEE. 315 00:17:48,567 --> 00:17:51,100 I AM JUST SO OVER ALL THIS EXCESS SKIN. 316 00:17:51,100 --> 00:17:53,167 I WANT IT GONE. 317 00:17:53,167 --> 00:17:55,700 IT'S JUST BAGGAGE THAT NEEDS TO GO -- 318 00:17:55,700 --> 00:17:59,833 NOT BECAUSE OF THE WAY IT LOOKS, BUT THE WAY IT MAKES ME FEEL. 319 00:17:59,833 --> 00:18:02,200 I WANT DR. NOW TO GET RID OF THIS. 320 00:18:04,500 --> 00:18:07,167 ALSO, I'D LIKE HIM TO GET RID OF THIS. 321 00:18:07,167 --> 00:18:09,400 IT JUST POKES OUT WHENEVER I PUT MY ARM DOWN. 322 00:18:09,400 --> 00:18:13,867 IT'S JUST FLOPPY AND FLIMFLAMMY. 323 00:18:13,867 --> 00:18:16,967 AFTER I GET SKIN SURGERY, I'M GONNA FEEL A LITERAL 324 00:18:16,967 --> 00:18:19,067 AND METAPHORICAL LIGHTNESS 325 00:18:19,067 --> 00:18:23,067 BECAUSE THE EXTRA WEIGHT WILL BE GONE. 326 00:18:23,067 --> 00:18:25,667 IT'S JUST A REMINDER OF THE LIFE I USED TO LIVE 327 00:18:25,667 --> 00:18:29,133 AND HOW EMOTIONAL I USED TO BE. 328 00:18:29,133 --> 00:18:31,367 I'M DEFINITELY LOOKING FORWARD TO THE REFLECTION 329 00:18:31,367 --> 00:18:34,967 I SEE IN THE MIRROR AFTER SKIN SURGERY. 330 00:18:34,967 --> 00:18:39,233 SO I'M SO READY FOR THIS BECAUSE IT WILL NOT ONLY MEAN 331 00:18:39,233 --> 00:18:40,833 I CAN GET AROUND A LOT BETTER, 332 00:18:40,833 --> 00:18:43,500 BUT IT MEANS I CAN START TO TAKE OTHER STEPS IN MY LIFE 333 00:18:43,500 --> 00:18:46,967 THAT I WANT AND THAT I CAN KEEP MOVING FORWARD 334 00:18:46,967 --> 00:18:50,933 WITH MY GENDER-REASSIGNMENT SURGERY. 335 00:18:50,933 --> 00:18:53,700 I LIVE MY ENTIRE LIFE, 24/7, 336 00:18:53,700 --> 00:18:57,367 AS A WOMAN BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I AM. 337 00:18:59,467 --> 00:19:02,467 I'M NOW AS "MISS CHAY," WHICH IS KIND OF FUNNY. 338 00:19:02,467 --> 00:19:03,700 BEING CALLED MISS, IT'S LIKE, 339 00:19:03,700 --> 00:19:06,433 "DAMN, I'M OLD ENOUGH TO BE CALLED MISS?" 340 00:19:06,433 --> 00:19:07,867 I HAD ORIGINALLY PICKED THE NAME LOLA 341 00:19:07,867 --> 00:19:09,567 'CAUSE IT WAS A NAME I ALWAYS LIKED, 342 00:19:09,567 --> 00:19:11,533 BUT ONCE PEOPLE STARTED CALLING ME THAT, 343 00:19:11,533 --> 00:19:14,867 I REALIZED I DON'T LIKE IT SO MUCH FOR MYSELF. 344 00:19:14,867 --> 00:19:17,933 SO I DECIDED TO JUST KEEP MY REGULAR NAME, CHAY. 345 00:19:17,933 --> 00:19:21,500 SO, I'M JUST EXCITED ABOUT ALL THE THINGS ON THE HORIZON, 346 00:19:21,500 --> 00:19:24,233 AND MY EXCESS-SKIN-REMOVAL SURGERY 347 00:19:24,233 --> 00:19:26,233 IS GONNA BE A HUGE LEAP IN MY PROGRESS 348 00:19:26,233 --> 00:19:30,500 AND WILL HOPEFULLY HELP ME START TO LOSE EVEN MORE. 349 00:19:30,500 --> 00:19:35,067 I KNOW IT'S NOT GONNA BE AN EASY OPERATION, BUT I'M READY FOR IT. 350 00:19:51,667 --> 00:19:55,133 Laura: I'M HEADED TO SEE DR. NOW TODAY, BUT I'M SCARED 351 00:19:55,133 --> 00:19:58,767 BECAUSE MY WEIGHT LOSS HAS SLOWED SO MUCH 352 00:19:58,767 --> 00:20:03,167 THAT I'M WORRIED I'M ABOUT TO START GAINING AGAIN. 353 00:20:03,167 --> 00:20:07,233 I DON'T WANT TO GAIN THE WEIGHT BACK THAT I'VE LOST 354 00:20:07,233 --> 00:20:09,667 AND THAT I WORKED SO HARD FOR. 355 00:20:09,667 --> 00:20:12,467 IN THE BEGINNING, I WAS LOSING RAPID WEIGHT. 356 00:20:12,467 --> 00:20:16,967 AND THEN, ALL OF A SUDDEN, I DON'T LOSE MORE WEIGHT. 357 00:20:16,967 --> 00:20:19,533 IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT I EAT, WHAT I DON'T EAT. 358 00:20:19,533 --> 00:20:24,000 THE WEIGHT JUST STAYS THE SAME. 359 00:20:24,000 --> 00:20:27,100 SO I'VE BEEN WORKING REALLY HARD JUST TO PICK UP THE PACE 360 00:20:27,100 --> 00:20:30,633 SINCE I'VE ONLY BEEN LOSING A COUPLE POUNDS A MONTH. 361 00:20:30,633 --> 00:20:34,633 BUT AT MY LAST APPOINTMENT, I WAS AT 297. 362 00:20:36,700 --> 00:20:41,400 AND I'M SUPPOSED TO BE LOSING 15 POUNDS A MONTH. 363 00:20:41,400 --> 00:20:45,433 SO THAT WOULD MEAN I NEED TO BE AT 267 TODAY. 364 00:20:47,533 --> 00:20:50,300 Woman: 289. 365 00:20:50,300 --> 00:20:53,067 YEE! 366 00:20:53,067 --> 00:20:54,133 I'M HAPPY. 367 00:20:54,133 --> 00:20:56,000 YOU'RE LOSING WEIGHT SO... 368 00:20:56,000 --> 00:20:57,367 I KNOW. I'M HAPPY. 369 00:20:57,367 --> 00:21:00,133 ...THAT'S GOOD. 370 00:21:00,133 --> 00:21:04,833 I KNOW THAT'S STILL NOT AS MUCH AS IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE, 371 00:21:04,833 --> 00:21:06,433 BUT I FEEL GREAT 372 00:21:06,433 --> 00:21:08,367 BECAUSE THE SCALE'S SHOWING 373 00:21:08,367 --> 00:21:11,333 THAT I'M LOSING WEIGHT AGAIN. 374 00:21:11,333 --> 00:21:14,567 AND THAT'S MORE THAN I'VE LOST FOR MONTHS. 375 00:21:14,567 --> 00:21:16,767 SO I'M REALLY HAPPY RIGHT NOW. 376 00:21:16,767 --> 00:21:18,133 [ KNOCK ON DOOR ] 377 00:21:18,133 --> 00:21:19,133 HELLO. 378 00:21:19,133 --> 00:21:20,333 HOW YOU ALL DOING? 379 00:21:20,333 --> 00:21:22,300 GOOD. 380 00:21:22,300 --> 00:21:25,067 SO, YOU LOST 8 POUNDS TODAY, 381 00:21:25,067 --> 00:21:27,600 BUT YOUR WEIGHT LOSS HAS BEEN VERY MINIMAL 382 00:21:27,600 --> 00:21:30,067 FOR GOING ON FIVE MONTHS NOW. 383 00:21:30,067 --> 00:21:34,167 SO THAT IS A BIG CONCERN FOR ME, AND SO I THINK THE BEST THING 384 00:21:34,167 --> 00:21:38,200 AT THIS POINT WILL BE A REVISION ON YOUR GASTRIC SLEEVE 385 00:21:38,200 --> 00:21:42,700 TO MAKE IT A FULL BYPASS TO HELP STOP YOU FROM GAINING AGAIN. 386 00:21:42,700 --> 00:21:46,067 SO IF I DON'T HAVE IT, THEN I WILL GAIN THE WEIGHT BACK, 387 00:21:46,067 --> 00:21:48,233 RIGHT, WITH THE SURGERY I HAVE NOW? 388 00:21:48,233 --> 00:21:51,433 WELL, YOU KNOW, YOU HAVE EATING DISORDER, 389 00:21:51,433 --> 00:21:54,567 AND THIS HAS BEEN CONSTANT STRUGGLE 390 00:21:54,567 --> 00:21:56,800 -FOR YOU TO CONTROL IT. -ALL MY LIFE. 391 00:21:56,800 --> 00:22:01,700 AND WITH THE GASTRIC BYPASS, IT WILL BE MUCH EASIER 392 00:22:01,700 --> 00:22:03,500 TO CONTROL YOUR EATING DISORDER. 393 00:22:03,500 --> 00:22:06,300 AND THAT HOPEFULLY WILL GIVE SOME IDEA 394 00:22:06,300 --> 00:22:09,767 TO CHANGE YOUR EATING HABIT ON A PERMANENT BASIS 395 00:22:09,767 --> 00:22:13,233 AND MAINTAIN HEALTHY WEIGHT. 396 00:22:13,233 --> 00:22:16,900 LAURA SHOULD NOT HAVE ANY TROUBLE LOSING AT LEAST 397 00:22:16,900 --> 00:22:18,933 15 POUNDS A MONTH. 398 00:22:18,933 --> 00:22:20,167 BUT AT THIS POINT, 399 00:22:20,167 --> 00:22:23,433 SHE LIKELY HAS STRETCHED HER STOMACH BACK OUT, 400 00:22:23,433 --> 00:22:25,800 SO WE NEED TO INTERVENE. 401 00:22:25,800 --> 00:22:29,267 IF WE DON'T, SHE'LL CONTINUE TO STRETCH HER STOMACH BACK 402 00:22:29,267 --> 00:22:30,767 AS SHE OVEREATS, 403 00:22:30,767 --> 00:22:34,467 AND THEN SHE'LL START TO GAIN RAPIDLY. 404 00:22:34,467 --> 00:22:38,067 THERE IS NO REASON YOU SHOULDN'T MAKE IT TO YOUR TARGET WEIGHT 405 00:22:38,067 --> 00:22:40,433 IN THE NEXT 10 MONTHS OR SO, 406 00:22:40,433 --> 00:22:42,800 BUT WE NEED TO HELP YOU GET THERE. 407 00:22:42,800 --> 00:22:44,067 OKAY. 408 00:22:44,067 --> 00:22:46,467 SO WE'RE GONNA COMPLETE YOUR GASTRIC BYPASS 409 00:22:46,467 --> 00:22:48,067 WITH THIS OPERATION, 410 00:22:48,067 --> 00:22:50,167 AND THAT'S GONNA BE MORE EFFECTIVE 411 00:22:50,167 --> 00:22:52,267 FOR YOUR WEIGHT LOSS, OKAY? 412 00:22:52,267 --> 00:22:53,933 THANK YOU SO MUCH. 413 00:22:53,933 --> 00:22:58,200 I'M SO EXCITED, AND I'M HAPPY THAT YOU'VE CHANGED MY LIFE. 414 00:22:58,200 --> 00:22:59,900 YOU'RE WELCOME. 415 00:23:04,633 --> 00:23:08,067 I'M HAPPY THAT I GOT APPROVED FOR SURGERY 416 00:23:08,067 --> 00:23:11,900 BECAUSE THE SURGERY MEANS HAVING MY INDEPENDENCE 417 00:23:11,900 --> 00:23:15,467 AND HAVING MY LIFE BACK. 418 00:23:15,467 --> 00:23:17,167 NOW I'M JUST NERVOUS BECAUSE 419 00:23:17,167 --> 00:23:19,900 I JUST DON'T WANT NOTHING TO GO WRONG. 420 00:23:32,800 --> 00:23:34,733 Chay: THERE ARE SO MANY REALLY GOOD THINGS 421 00:23:34,733 --> 00:23:38,567 I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO SOON. 422 00:23:38,567 --> 00:23:40,900 BUT I'M JUST REALLY STRUGGLING RIGHT NOW. 423 00:23:44,800 --> 00:23:47,233 I'M NOT DEPRESSED OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT. 424 00:23:47,233 --> 00:23:49,767 I'M JUST TIRED. 425 00:23:53,533 --> 00:23:57,167 I JUST GOT OUT OFF WORK, AND I'VE BEEN WORKING ALL DAY. 426 00:23:57,167 --> 00:23:59,667 SO THE OTHER OBSTACLE I'M FACING WITH MY WEIGHT LOSS 427 00:23:59,667 --> 00:24:04,400 IS THAT I'M WORKING PRETTY MUCH NONSTOP RIGHT NOW 428 00:24:04,400 --> 00:24:06,067 AND TAKING CARE OF MYSELF. 429 00:24:06,067 --> 00:24:12,100 SO A CONVENIENCE IS FAST FOOD, WHICH I KNOW I SHOULDN'T EAT. 430 00:24:12,100 --> 00:24:15,467 BUT ALL I WANT IS SOMETHING QUICK AND EASY AND TO GO HOME 431 00:24:15,467 --> 00:24:18,533 AND GET IN MY PAJAMAS AND JUST GO TO BED. 432 00:24:20,500 --> 00:24:24,833 TONIGHT, I'M HAVING A BURGER FOR DINNER FROM A FAST-FOOD JOINT 433 00:24:24,833 --> 00:24:27,233 BECAUSE IT'S FAST, IT'S EASY, 434 00:24:27,233 --> 00:24:30,533 IT DOESN'T TAKE ANY EFFORT ON MY PART. 435 00:24:30,533 --> 00:24:35,500 BUT IT'S STILL NOT LIKE IT WAS A COUPLE YEARS AGO. 436 00:24:35,500 --> 00:24:39,533 I'D GO GET FRIED FOOD ONCE OR TWICE A DAY. 437 00:24:39,533 --> 00:24:41,500 AND WHEN I GO BACK, IT FEELS LIKE I'M GOING BACK 438 00:24:41,500 --> 00:24:45,633 TO SOMETHING COMFORTABLE, 439 00:24:45,633 --> 00:24:49,267 WHICH IS WHY I KNOW I HAVE TO BE EXTRA CAREFUL NOT TO LET MYSELF 440 00:24:49,267 --> 00:24:50,567 FALL BACK INTO MY OLD HABITS 441 00:24:50,567 --> 00:24:52,367 IN THE SAME WAY. 442 00:24:52,367 --> 00:24:53,633 Woman: YOU CAN GO WITH YOUR ORDER. 443 00:24:53,633 --> 00:24:56,967 GIVE ME THE NUMBER TWO COMBO. 444 00:24:56,967 --> 00:24:57,767 WILL THAT BE ALL? 445 00:24:57,767 --> 00:24:59,900 THAT'S IT. 446 00:24:59,900 --> 00:25:02,533 BUT WHEN I'M TIRED, THAT'S WHEN I GIVE IN 447 00:25:02,533 --> 00:25:04,900 AND I DO STUFF I KNOW I SHOULDN'T. 448 00:25:07,233 --> 00:25:08,867 AND THEN I FEEL SICK TO MY STOMACH 449 00:25:08,867 --> 00:25:10,533 AND JUST GROSS BECAUSE OF WHAT I'VE DONE. 450 00:25:10,533 --> 00:25:11,967 IT'S ME AGAIN. 451 00:25:11,967 --> 00:25:15,400 THANK YOU. OH, I MISSED YOU SO MUCH. 452 00:25:15,400 --> 00:25:16,800 YOU HAVE A GREAT ONE, HONEY BUNS. 453 00:25:16,800 --> 00:25:18,067 YOU, TOO. 454 00:25:20,333 --> 00:25:25,800 SOMEONE CAN SAY IT TAKES JUST AS MUCH TIME TO GET A BURGER 455 00:25:25,800 --> 00:25:27,100 AS IT DOES TO MAKE A SALAD, 456 00:25:27,100 --> 00:25:29,067 BUT ONE REQUIRES ME TO STAND UP 457 00:25:29,067 --> 00:25:33,200 AND STAY ON MY ACHING FEET, AND ONE DOESN'T. 458 00:25:33,200 --> 00:25:39,700 BUT I GET SCARED BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO START TO GIVE IN 459 00:25:39,700 --> 00:25:42,533 AND FALL BACK INTO OLD HABITS. 460 00:25:42,533 --> 00:25:44,333 I KNOW FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE 461 00:25:44,333 --> 00:25:48,233 I'M GONNA BE BATTLING GAINING ALL MY WEIGHT BACK. 462 00:25:48,233 --> 00:25:50,967 AND WHEN I GIVE IN, THAT'S WHEN THAT POSSIBILITY 463 00:25:50,967 --> 00:25:53,800 IS AS CLOSE AS IT CAN EVER GET 464 00:25:53,800 --> 00:25:56,267 BECAUSE THE NEXT STEP BACK TO BEING 600 465 00:25:56,267 --> 00:25:58,467 IS JUST TO DO IT AGAIN. 466 00:25:58,467 --> 00:26:03,933 SO I CAN'T CONTINUE TO LET THIS HAPPEN AND START TO GAIN. 467 00:26:03,933 --> 00:26:06,067 AND I'M JUST SO BUSY AT WORK. 468 00:26:06,067 --> 00:26:09,467 I ASKED DR. NOW TO MOVE MY SURGERY TO NEXT MONTH. 469 00:26:09,467 --> 00:26:12,567 SO I NEED TO STAY FOCUSED A LITTLE BIT LONGER, 470 00:26:12,567 --> 00:26:15,800 AND I NEED TO MAKE SURE, NO MATTER HOW TIRED I AM, 471 00:26:15,800 --> 00:26:18,367 THAT I CAN'T JUST GO FOR THE EASY OPTION. 472 00:26:18,367 --> 00:26:23,833 BECAUSE IF I DO, I KNOW I'LL RISK LOSING EVERYTHING. 473 00:26:23,833 --> 00:26:27,767 AND NOTHING IN THE WORLD WOULD BE WORTH LETTING THAT HAPPEN. 474 00:26:38,600 --> 00:26:39,867 I'M HEADED TO SEE DR. NOW 475 00:26:39,867 --> 00:26:41,633 FOR MY PRE-OP APPOINTMENT TODAY. 476 00:26:41,633 --> 00:26:43,067 THANK YOU. 477 00:26:43,067 --> 00:26:45,400 MY SKIN-REMOVAL SURGERY IS SCHEDULED FOR TOMORROW, 478 00:26:45,400 --> 00:26:47,500 AND DR. NOW WANTS ME TO COME IN TO MAKE SURE 479 00:26:47,500 --> 00:26:49,867 EVERYTHING LOOKS GOOD FOR SURGERY. 480 00:26:49,867 --> 00:26:53,800 BUT I'VE HAD A FOUR-HOUR BUS RIDE HERE TO JUST THINK ABOUT 481 00:26:53,800 --> 00:26:55,933 AND WORRY WHAT MY WEIGHT IS GOING TO BE 482 00:26:55,933 --> 00:27:00,133 SO I'M JUST NOT LOOKING FORWARD TO THE SCALE TODAY. 483 00:27:00,133 --> 00:27:02,667 AND I'M A LITTLE QUEASY FROM THE STRESS OF THINKING 484 00:27:02,667 --> 00:27:03,900 ABOUT THAT THE WHOLE TIME 485 00:27:03,900 --> 00:27:06,367 BECAUSE IT'S BEEN A REALLY HARD MONTH 486 00:27:06,367 --> 00:27:07,833 WITH HOW MUCH I'M WORKING 487 00:27:07,833 --> 00:27:10,800 AND THE FACT THAT I NEED TO SAVE UP TO MOVE OUT. 488 00:27:10,800 --> 00:27:13,700 IT'S ALSO BEEN A LITTLE HARD STARTING MY LIFE AS A WOMAN 489 00:27:13,700 --> 00:27:15,400 BECAUSE I KNOW SOME OF MY FAMILY 490 00:27:15,400 --> 00:27:18,133 STILL DON'T KNOW HOW TO TAKE IT OR HOW TO RESPOND TO ME. 491 00:27:18,133 --> 00:27:22,333 SO I'M STILL WORKING HARD FOR MY FRESH START, 492 00:27:22,333 --> 00:27:24,800 AND I'M SO READY FOR IT. 493 00:27:24,800 --> 00:27:26,167 CHAY GUILLORY? 494 00:27:26,167 --> 00:27:29,433 BUT THE STRESS OF WORK AND EVERYTHING MAKES ME WANT TO EAT, 495 00:27:29,433 --> 00:27:31,367 AND I GIVE IN SOMETIMES. 496 00:27:31,367 --> 00:27:34,733 AND I RISK GOING BACK TO BEING 600 POUNDS. 497 00:27:34,733 --> 00:27:35,800 SO I'M JUST REALLY HOPING 498 00:27:35,800 --> 00:27:38,100 I HAVEN'T MESSED UP MY WEIGHT LOSS. 499 00:27:38,100 --> 00:27:41,667 BUT IF I HAVE, IT WILL BE DEVASTATING TO ME. 500 00:27:41,667 --> 00:27:44,533 AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS FOR MY SURGERY. 501 00:27:44,533 --> 00:27:46,200 SO I'M JUST HOPING THAT THINGS 502 00:27:46,200 --> 00:27:48,267 ARE NOT ABOUT TO GET ALL MESSED UP. 503 00:28:02,867 --> 00:28:05,767 Chay: I'M AT DR. NOW'S FOR MY PRE-OP APPOINTMENT, 504 00:28:05,767 --> 00:28:07,267 AND I'M ABOUT TO FIND OUT 505 00:28:07,267 --> 00:28:11,067 IF I'VE DONE ANYTHING TO MESS UP MY WEIGHT LOSS. 506 00:28:11,067 --> 00:28:13,500 I WAS AT 378 AT MY LAST CHECKUP, 507 00:28:13,500 --> 00:28:16,300 AND I'M SUPPOSED TO BE LOSING 20 POUNDS A MONTH. 508 00:28:16,300 --> 00:28:20,467 SO THAT MEANS I NEED TO BE DOWN TO 338 TODAY. 509 00:28:20,467 --> 00:28:23,800 Woman: 393. 510 00:28:23,800 --> 00:28:25,233 OKEYDOKEY. 511 00:28:28,233 --> 00:28:30,400 I'M REALLY UPSET RIGHT NOW. 512 00:28:32,933 --> 00:28:35,400 I WANT TO BE GETTING CLOSER TO THE 200s, 513 00:28:35,400 --> 00:28:39,300 NOT GETTING CLOSER TO THE 400s. 514 00:28:39,300 --> 00:28:43,567 SO I'M NOT LOOKING FORWARD TO WHAT DR. NOW'S GONNA SAY. 515 00:28:43,567 --> 00:28:44,600 [ KNOCK ON DOOR ] 516 00:28:46,900 --> 00:28:48,533 HELLO. 517 00:28:48,533 --> 00:28:49,500 HOW WE DOING, CHAY? 518 00:28:49,500 --> 00:28:51,300 I'M OKAY, I GUESS. 519 00:28:51,300 --> 00:28:54,067 WELL, I SEE YOU'RE GAINING AGAIN. 520 00:28:54,067 --> 00:28:55,800 SO WHAT'S GOING ON? 521 00:28:55,800 --> 00:29:00,167 A LOT OF THE TIME, I'LL EAT SOMETHING, 522 00:29:00,167 --> 00:29:02,233 AND I DON'T EVEN REALIZE IT'S HAPPENED 523 00:29:02,233 --> 00:29:04,167 UNTIL IT'S ALREADY OVER WITH. 524 00:29:04,167 --> 00:29:05,567 LIKE, I'LL JUST CHEW IT UP AND SWALLOW, 525 00:29:05,567 --> 00:29:07,100 AND IT'S LIKE, "WAIT, I JUST ATE SOMETHING." 526 00:29:07,100 --> 00:29:10,700 IS THAT SOME FORM OF SLEEP-EATING? 527 00:29:10,700 --> 00:29:12,067 I DON'T KNOW. 528 00:29:12,067 --> 00:29:14,300 SO YOU'RE TELLING ME THAT YOU DON'T REALIZE 529 00:29:14,300 --> 00:29:17,467 WHAT YOU'RE EATING, BUT THAT'S NOT REALITY. 530 00:29:17,467 --> 00:29:18,633 YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING. 531 00:29:18,633 --> 00:29:20,600 THIS IS JUST AN EXCUSE. 532 00:29:20,600 --> 00:29:22,467 IT'S JUST A FORCE OF HABIT, I GUESS. 533 00:29:22,467 --> 00:29:25,267 I DON'T KNOW. IT'S LIKE I DO IT MINDLESSLY. 534 00:29:26,200 --> 00:29:27,467 [ SIGHS ] 535 00:29:27,467 --> 00:29:31,200 I'M PRETTY SURE I'VE SABOTAGED MYSELF REALLY BAD, 536 00:29:31,200 --> 00:29:34,067 AND I THINK I'VE MESSED UP MY SURGERY. 537 00:29:34,067 --> 00:29:37,533 WELL, WE NEED TO FOCUS ON GETTING YOU TO LOSE AGAIN 538 00:29:37,533 --> 00:29:41,567 AND FIGURE OUT WHAT'S DRIVING YOU TO FOOD. 539 00:29:41,567 --> 00:29:46,600 CHAY IS STARTING TO RUN TO FOOD TO DEAL WITH HER EMOTIONS AGAIN. 540 00:29:46,600 --> 00:29:48,467 AND HER FIRST SKIN-REMOVAL SURGERY 541 00:29:48,467 --> 00:29:50,200 WAS SCHEDULED FOR TOMORROW, 542 00:29:50,200 --> 00:29:52,500 BUT THAT WILL HAVE TO BE CANCELLED 543 00:29:52,500 --> 00:29:53,800 BECAUSE WEIGHT GAIN 544 00:29:53,800 --> 00:29:56,067 WHILE RECOVERING FOR THIS OPERATION 545 00:29:56,067 --> 00:29:58,067 WILL CAUSE DISFIGUREMENT 546 00:29:58,067 --> 00:30:02,367 AND WILL LEAD TO INFECTION AND HEALING DIFFICULTIES. 547 00:30:02,367 --> 00:30:06,400 BUT THE PRIORITY IS TO ADDRESS THE CORE EMOTIONAL ISSUE 548 00:30:06,400 --> 00:30:08,967 THAT'S DRIVING HER TO OVEREAT. 549 00:30:08,967 --> 00:30:12,833 I THINK I'VE REALLY LET MYSELF GET DOWN IN A RUT 550 00:30:12,833 --> 00:30:17,667 AND HELD MYSELF BACK AND... 551 00:30:17,667 --> 00:30:20,867 JUST FEEL LIKE A COMPLETE WASTE AND A TOTAL FAILURE. 552 00:30:20,867 --> 00:30:24,067 WELL, FIRST, YOU'RE CORRECT ABOUT YOUR SURGERY. 553 00:30:24,067 --> 00:30:27,867 IT IS NO LONGER A SAFE OPTION RIGHT NOW WITH YOU GAINING, 554 00:30:27,867 --> 00:30:30,733 SO THAT WON'T BE HAPPENING TOMORROW. 555 00:30:30,733 --> 00:30:31,667 OKAY. 556 00:30:31,667 --> 00:30:33,533 AND, SECOND, YOU'RE NOT A WASTE. 557 00:30:33,533 --> 00:30:34,900 YOU KNOW THAT, CHAY. 558 00:30:34,900 --> 00:30:37,667 BUT YOU NEED TO START BACK UP WITH THERAPY 559 00:30:37,667 --> 00:30:39,600 IF THAT'S HOW YOU FEEL RIGHT NOW 560 00:30:39,600 --> 00:30:42,000 AND FIGURE OUT WHAT IS THE CORE ISSUE 561 00:30:42,000 --> 00:30:44,433 DRIVING YOU TO OVEREAT AGAIN. 562 00:30:44,433 --> 00:30:45,900 OKAY. 563 00:30:45,900 --> 00:30:49,300 DO YOU THINK SEEING A THERAPIST MIGHT CHANGE THE SITUATION? 564 00:30:49,300 --> 00:30:51,033 IT DEFINITELY WOULDN'T HURT. 565 00:30:51,033 --> 00:30:53,500 SO SINCE YOU'RE IN TOWN RIGHT NOW, 566 00:30:53,500 --> 00:30:55,900 I'M GONNA GET YOU IN THERAPY TOMORROW. 567 00:30:55,900 --> 00:30:57,400 OKAY. 568 00:30:57,400 --> 00:31:00,733 SO, WHAT'S GOING ON WITH THE SEX-ASSIGNMENT SURGERY? 569 00:31:00,733 --> 00:31:03,100 I'M STILL WAITING 'CAUSE I KNOW YOU SAID TO WAIT 570 00:31:03,100 --> 00:31:07,900 UNTIL I WAS AT A MORE MANAGEABLE WEIGHT TO MAKE ANY MAJOR MOVES. 571 00:31:07,900 --> 00:31:10,433 AND THAT MAY NEVER COME TRUE. 572 00:31:10,433 --> 00:31:12,900 IF I DON'T KICK MYSELF IN THE BUTT, IT SURE WON'T. 573 00:31:12,900 --> 00:31:16,567 YOU NEED TO GET BACK ON TRACK AND LOSE 20 POUNDS A MONTH. 574 00:31:16,567 --> 00:31:17,500 OKAY. 575 00:31:17,500 --> 00:31:18,400 ALL RIGHT? I'LL SEE YOU. 576 00:31:18,400 --> 00:31:19,333 ALL RIGHT. SEE YA, DOC. 577 00:31:19,333 --> 00:31:20,867 ALL RIGHT. 578 00:31:24,100 --> 00:31:25,867 Chay: I'M A LITTLE DISAPPOINTED 579 00:31:25,867 --> 00:31:27,967 THAT DR. NOW CANCELLED MY SKIN REMOVAL. 580 00:31:27,967 --> 00:31:31,400 BUT I DON'T BLAME HIM. 581 00:31:31,400 --> 00:31:33,267 THERE ARE THINGS I REALLY WANT -- 582 00:31:33,267 --> 00:31:34,533 SKIN-REMOVAL SURGERY 583 00:31:34,533 --> 00:31:38,700 AND MY GENDER REASSIGNMENT BEING THE BIGGEST THINGS. 584 00:31:38,700 --> 00:31:39,967 BUT DR. NOW IS RIGHT -- 585 00:31:39,967 --> 00:31:41,833 THAT I'M NEVER GOING TO GET THERE 586 00:31:41,833 --> 00:31:44,967 IF I DON'T DO WHAT I'M SUPPOSED TO. 587 00:31:44,967 --> 00:31:47,900 SO I'M JUST GOING TO TRY TO TAKE THIS TIME TO RESET 588 00:31:47,900 --> 00:31:49,967 AND THINK THROUGH THINGS 589 00:31:49,967 --> 00:31:54,067 BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO START GAINING EVEN MORE RIGHT NOW. 590 00:32:21,133 --> 00:32:23,333 Laura: I WANT TO HAVE THE SURGERY, 591 00:32:23,333 --> 00:32:26,167 BUT IF THE PREGNANCY RESULTS COME BACK POSITIVE 592 00:32:26,167 --> 00:32:29,933 I WILL NOT BE HAVING THE SURGERY. 593 00:32:29,933 --> 00:32:33,100 I GUESS I WILL BE HAPPY, BUT THIS IS SOMETHING 594 00:32:33,100 --> 00:32:37,533 I REALLY WANT AS WELL, SO I GUESS I WILL BE TORN. 595 00:32:39,733 --> 00:32:42,500 JOEY AND ME HAVE WANTED KIDS, 596 00:32:42,500 --> 00:32:45,067 BUT THIS IS NOT HOW WE PLANNED IT. 597 00:32:45,067 --> 00:32:47,600 WE WEREN'T GOING TO TRY TO START A FAMILY 598 00:32:47,600 --> 00:32:50,067 UNTIL I GOT TO MY TARGET, 599 00:32:50,067 --> 00:32:54,100 AND THE SURGERY WAS GOING TO HELP ME GET THERE. 600 00:32:54,100 --> 00:32:56,433 AND I'M SCARED IF I DON'T HAVE IT TODAY, 601 00:32:56,433 --> 00:33:01,833 THEN IT MAY MEAN THAT I'M GOING TO LOSE MY CHANCE TO KEEP GOING. 602 00:33:01,833 --> 00:33:06,533 SO I'M REALLY HOPING I'M NOT PREGNANT RIGHT NOW. 603 00:33:06,533 --> 00:33:08,833 LAURA, YOUR PREGNANCY TEST CAME BACK. 604 00:33:08,833 --> 00:33:09,600 IT'S NEGATIVE. 605 00:33:09,600 --> 00:33:11,833 -THANK YOU. -OKAY. 606 00:33:11,833 --> 00:33:14,433 SO WE CAN JUST PROCEED AS PLANNED. 607 00:33:14,433 --> 00:33:17,500 OH, MY GOD! 608 00:33:17,500 --> 00:33:20,867 THAT'S GOOD, BECAUSE I WANTED TO HAVE MY SURGERY. 609 00:33:20,867 --> 00:33:22,200 Joey: OH, YOU NEED HAVE THE SURGERY. 610 00:33:22,200 --> 00:33:25,267 OKAY? 611 00:33:25,267 --> 00:33:26,867 Laura: I'M SO RELIEVED RIGHT NOW 612 00:33:26,867 --> 00:33:30,133 BECAUSE THE MORE I THOUGHT ABOUT THIS SURGERY, 613 00:33:30,133 --> 00:33:33,700 THE MORE I REALIZED JUST HOW BAD I NEED IT. 614 00:33:33,700 --> 00:33:36,367 MY WEIGHT LOSS IS COMING TO A COMPLETE STOP, 615 00:33:36,367 --> 00:33:41,700 SO I HAVE TO GET THIS SURGERY TO GET BACK ON TRACK. 616 00:33:41,700 --> 00:33:43,233 -HI! -HI! 617 00:33:43,233 --> 00:33:46,067 HI! 618 00:33:46,067 --> 00:33:47,933 WHAT DID SHE SAY? 619 00:33:47,933 --> 00:33:49,867 HI, MAMA. 620 00:33:49,867 --> 00:33:53,167 IT MEANS A LOT THAT Y'ALL ARE HERE TO SEE ME. 621 00:33:53,167 --> 00:33:57,067 I AM PROUD OF YOU BECAUSE YOU HAVE LOST A LOT OF WEIGHT. 622 00:33:57,067 --> 00:33:58,267 THANK YOU. 623 00:33:58,267 --> 00:34:02,467 YOU HAVE ACCOMPLISHED WHAT YOU SET OUT TO DO. 624 00:34:02,467 --> 00:34:08,067 Laura: I'M HAVING A LOT OF ANXIETY AND FEELING VERY NERVOUS. 625 00:34:08,067 --> 00:34:11,300 THEY PUT ME IN THE SAME ROOM AS MY FIRST SURGERY, 626 00:34:11,300 --> 00:34:12,700 SO IT'S JUST FREAKING ME OUT. 627 00:34:12,700 --> 00:34:15,667 IT'LL BE ALL RIGHT. OKAY? 628 00:34:15,667 --> 00:34:19,167 IT'S VERY RISKY AND I'M SCARED THAT ANYTHING COULD GO WRONG. 629 00:34:19,167 --> 00:34:23,900 BUT I'M TAKING THIS RISK BECAUSE I WANT TO BE ABLE 630 00:34:23,900 --> 00:34:25,567 TO ACCOMPLISH A GOAL 631 00:34:25,567 --> 00:34:28,433 THAT I'VE BEEN TRYING TO ACCOMPLISH ALL MY LIFE, 632 00:34:28,433 --> 00:34:31,567 AND SURGERY IS THE ONLY OPTION TO DO IT. 633 00:34:34,700 --> 00:34:38,167 Dr. Nowzaradan: TODAY WE'RE PERFORMING A REVISION SURGERY ON LAURA 634 00:34:38,167 --> 00:34:41,833 TO CONVERT HER GASTRIC SLEEVE INTO A FULL BYPASS. 635 00:34:41,833 --> 00:34:45,900 THE SLEEVE OPERATION IS A GOOD TOOL FOR A PATIENT 636 00:34:45,900 --> 00:34:50,100 TO LOSE WEIGHT BY REDUCING THE SIZE OF THEIR STOMACH. 637 00:34:50,100 --> 00:34:52,900 AND MANY TIMES, THAT'S ENOUGH. 638 00:34:52,900 --> 00:34:56,667 BUT IN SOME CASES, WE NEED TO DO A FULL BYPASS 639 00:34:56,667 --> 00:35:02,100 TO ENSURE WEIGHT LOSS CONTINUES AND IS MAINTAINED. 640 00:35:02,100 --> 00:35:05,300 CAN YOU TURN THE ROOM LIGHT OFF? 641 00:35:05,300 --> 00:35:07,800 SO, WHAT WE ARE DOING TODAY 642 00:35:07,800 --> 00:35:11,233 IS REDUCING THE SIZE OF LAURA'S STOMACH AGAIN 643 00:35:11,233 --> 00:35:14,200 TO ADDRESS HOW SHE HAS STRETCHED IT, 644 00:35:14,200 --> 00:35:17,100 AND THEN BYPASS THE INTESTINE 645 00:35:17,100 --> 00:35:22,300 SO IT WILL HAVE A MORE PROFOUND AFFECT ON THE WEIGHT LOSS. 646 00:35:22,300 --> 00:35:24,933 BUT THERE ARE COMPLICATIONS WITH THIS OPERATION. 647 00:35:24,933 --> 00:35:26,600 THERE IS ANESTHESIA RISK. 648 00:35:26,600 --> 00:35:28,900 AND BEFORE, LAURA HAD ANESTHESIA, 649 00:35:28,900 --> 00:35:30,233 HAD DIFFICULTY WITH BREATHING. 650 00:35:30,233 --> 00:35:32,500 WE HAD TO KEEP HER ON A BREATHING MACHINE. 651 00:35:32,500 --> 00:35:37,433 SO WE NEED TO BE CAREFUL, BUT WE NEED TO MOVE QUICKLY TOO. 652 00:35:40,467 --> 00:35:42,067 Carmen: I'M CONCERNED ABOUT LAURA. 653 00:35:42,067 --> 00:35:44,233 THE LAST TIME THEY DID THE SURGERY, 654 00:35:44,233 --> 00:35:46,167 WE WERE AFRAID WE WERE GOING TO LOSE HER. 655 00:35:46,167 --> 00:35:48,500 YES, I THINK IT WILL BE WORTH IT FOR HER HEALTH, 656 00:35:48,500 --> 00:35:51,567 SO HOPEFULLY IT WILL BE OVER SOON. 657 00:35:51,567 --> 00:35:52,867 Joey: LAURA MEANS THE WORLD TO ME, 658 00:35:52,867 --> 00:35:58,167 AND WE'RE JUST HOPING EVERYTHING'S ALL RIGHT. 659 00:35:58,167 --> 00:36:00,933 Dr. Nowzaradan: THIS REVISION SHOULD HELP HER 660 00:36:00,933 --> 00:36:04,300 TO GET BACK ON TRACK AND MAKE IT TO HER TARGET WEIGHT HERE 661 00:36:04,300 --> 00:36:07,100 IN THE NEXT SIX TO EIGHT MONTHS. 662 00:36:07,100 --> 00:36:10,833 BUT THIS RECOVERY IS GOING TO BE MORE DIFFICULT FOR LAURA 663 00:36:10,833 --> 00:36:12,200 THAN THE FIRST ONE 664 00:36:12,200 --> 00:36:15,267 AND HER WILL TAKE LONGER FOR HER TO RECOVER. 665 00:36:15,267 --> 00:36:18,333 BUT THAT FIRST ONE, SHE SHOULD BE ABLE TO LOSE 666 00:36:18,333 --> 00:36:21,833 BETWEEN 30 TO 40 POUNDS. 667 00:36:21,833 --> 00:36:23,767 OKAY, LIGHTS UP. 668 00:36:26,600 --> 00:36:30,233 ALMOST DONE. 669 00:36:30,233 --> 00:36:31,167 ALL RIGHT. 670 00:36:31,167 --> 00:36:33,867 LAURA'S SURGERY WENT VERY WELL. 671 00:36:33,867 --> 00:36:36,500 Woman: WE'RE ALL DONE. YOU DID GREAT. 672 00:36:36,500 --> 00:36:39,567 SO, WE'RE GETTING HER TO RECOVERY RIGHT NOW. 673 00:36:39,567 --> 00:36:42,967 AND WE PROBABLY WILL KEEP HER HERE FOR A WEEK TO A WEEK 674 00:36:42,967 --> 00:36:47,100 AND HALF BECAUSE SHE HAS A VERY LOW THRESHOLD OF PAIN, 675 00:36:47,100 --> 00:36:50,067 SO WE'LL MAKE SURE SHE'S RECOVERING WELL. 676 00:36:50,067 --> 00:36:54,800 BUT THIS NEXT ONE IS GOING TO BE DIFFICULT FOR LAURA. 677 00:36:54,800 --> 00:36:57,767 SHE HAS BEEN WORKING TO HER CORE ISSUES, 678 00:36:57,767 --> 00:37:00,833 BUT IF THERE ARE STILL THINGS THAT SHE'S PUSHING DOWN 679 00:37:00,833 --> 00:37:02,300 AND AVOIDING, 680 00:37:02,300 --> 00:37:03,533 WE'LL START TO SEE IT 681 00:37:03,533 --> 00:37:06,467 WHEN HER WEIGHT LOSS COMES TO A STOP AGAIN. 682 00:37:06,467 --> 00:37:09,933 BUT HOPEFULLY, THAT WON'T BE THE CASE. 683 00:37:23,600 --> 00:37:27,367 Chay: I'M NOT EXACTLY WHERE I WANT TO BE IN MY LIFE RIGHT NOW, 684 00:37:27,367 --> 00:37:31,467 SO I'M GOING TO SEE THE THERAPIST AGAIN TODAY. 685 00:37:31,467 --> 00:37:32,767 WHEN DR. NOW MENTIONED IT, 686 00:37:32,767 --> 00:37:34,567 I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA. 687 00:37:39,700 --> 00:37:41,400 AND I'M REALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO SHARING 688 00:37:41,400 --> 00:37:44,733 AND GETTING SOME THINGS OFF MY CHEST, 689 00:37:44,733 --> 00:37:46,467 WITH ALL THE STRESS OF EVERYTHING LATELY 690 00:37:46,467 --> 00:37:49,600 AND HOW IT'S AFFECTING ME. 691 00:37:49,600 --> 00:37:51,833 'CAUSE NOW I'M TERRIFIED THAT I'M GOING TO KEEP GAINING 692 00:37:51,833 --> 00:37:55,267 AND END BACK WHERE I WAS. 693 00:37:55,267 --> 00:37:57,067 AND I'M HOPING TALKING TODAY 694 00:37:57,067 --> 00:37:59,600 WILL HELP ME START TO TURN ALL THIS AROUND 695 00:38:01,933 --> 00:38:06,633 BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE I'M STARTING TO LOSE CONTROL. 696 00:38:06,633 --> 00:38:08,067 -CHAY? -HI, THERE. 697 00:38:08,067 --> 00:38:09,567 HI, I'M LOLA. 698 00:38:09,567 --> 00:38:11,333 -IT'S NICE TO MEET YOU. -NICE TO MEET YOU, TOO. 699 00:38:11,333 --> 00:38:12,800 WHY DON'T YOU COME ON BACK WITH ME? 700 00:38:12,800 --> 00:38:15,300 ALL RIGHTY. 701 00:38:15,300 --> 00:38:17,767 AND JUST HAVE A SEAT. 702 00:38:17,767 --> 00:38:19,667 OKAY. 703 00:38:19,667 --> 00:38:21,733 SO, CHAY. 704 00:38:21,733 --> 00:38:25,400 WHAT ARE SOME OF THE BIGGEST CHALLENGES FACING YOU RIGHT NOW? 705 00:38:25,400 --> 00:38:28,733 IF I EAT SOMETHING, I BEAT MYSELF UP ABOUT IT, 706 00:38:28,733 --> 00:38:32,433 AND I SAY, "OKAY, I'M NOT GOING TO DO THIS ANYMORE." 707 00:38:32,433 --> 00:38:33,700 AND THEN IT HAPPENS AGAIN, 708 00:38:33,700 --> 00:38:36,067 AND THEN I CONTINUE TO BEAT MYSELF UP. 709 00:38:36,067 --> 00:38:39,167 IT'S JUST THIS REALLY VICIOUS CYCLE. 710 00:38:39,167 --> 00:38:40,467 OKAY. 711 00:38:40,467 --> 00:38:44,300 SO, IN ORDER FOR YOU TO COMBAT YOUR FOOD ADDICTION 712 00:38:44,300 --> 00:38:46,967 AND TO DEVELOP HEALTHY BEHAVIORS, 713 00:38:46,967 --> 00:38:50,100 YOU HAVE TO KEEP IT AT THE FOREFRONT OF YOUR MIND, 714 00:38:50,100 --> 00:38:52,833 AND NOT IN A WAY IN WHICH YOU BERATE YOURSELF 715 00:38:52,833 --> 00:38:55,600 EVERY TIME YOU FALL OFF THE WAGON. 716 00:38:55,600 --> 00:38:57,600 FROM MY EXPERIENCE, FOOD ADDICTION 717 00:38:57,600 --> 00:38:59,200 IS THE HARDEST ADDICTION. 718 00:38:59,200 --> 00:39:02,500 WITH FOOD, YOU HAVE TO FACE YOUR VICE EVERY DAY 719 00:39:02,500 --> 00:39:04,700 BECAUSE YOU CAN'T JUST STOP EATING. 720 00:39:04,700 --> 00:39:06,367 YOU HAVE TO EAT TO LIVE. 721 00:39:06,367 --> 00:39:09,600 YOU EAT TO LIVE, BUT NOT LIVE TO EAT. 722 00:39:09,600 --> 00:39:10,967 YES. 723 00:39:10,967 --> 00:39:13,733 I JUST FEEL LIKE THERE'S SOMETHING JUST BELOW THE SURFACE 724 00:39:13,733 --> 00:39:18,267 THAT YOU'RE AVOIDING EXPRESSING ANY EMOTIONALITY ABOUT. 725 00:39:18,267 --> 00:39:20,933 I DON'T KNOW. 726 00:39:20,933 --> 00:39:23,400 WHAT DO YOU FIND IS YOUR GO-TO EMOTION? 727 00:39:23,400 --> 00:39:25,067 IS IT FEAR? 728 00:39:25,067 --> 00:39:27,067 IS IT SADNESS? IS IT JOY? 729 00:39:27,067 --> 00:39:28,633 I HAVE SOCIAL ANXIETY. 730 00:39:28,633 --> 00:39:33,800 I WALK HEAD DOWN, WALK FAST, DON'T CALL FOR ANY ATTENTION. 731 00:39:33,800 --> 00:39:35,500 IF YOU DON'T MAKE EYE CONTACT WITH PEOPLE, 732 00:39:35,500 --> 00:39:37,600 THEY WON'T SPEAK TO YOU. 733 00:39:37,600 --> 00:39:42,800 IT TROUBLES ME, CHAY, THAT YOU WALK AROUND 734 00:39:42,800 --> 00:39:46,433 AVOIDING EYE CONTACT, HEAD HELD DOWN. 735 00:39:46,433 --> 00:39:50,067 WHAT MESSAGE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE SENDING ABOUT YOURSELF? 736 00:39:50,067 --> 00:39:51,700 THAT I DON'T WANT TO BE BOTHERED. 737 00:39:51,700 --> 00:39:54,500 OR THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO BE SEEN. 738 00:39:54,500 --> 00:39:59,600 I FEAR YOU'RE REALLY HALTING THE PROGRESSION OF YOUR LIFE, 739 00:39:59,600 --> 00:40:01,433 OF YOUR WEIGHT LOSS, 740 00:40:01,433 --> 00:40:05,667 OF EVERYTHING THAT'S POTENTIALLY YOURS TO HAVE, 741 00:40:05,667 --> 00:40:08,000 WITH AVOIDANT BEHAVIOR. 742 00:40:08,000 --> 00:40:09,500 I TRUST NO ONE. 743 00:40:09,500 --> 00:40:10,900 IT SHOWS. 744 00:40:10,900 --> 00:40:16,467 CAN YOU TELL ME AT WHAT AGE, CHAY, DID YOU START TO RECOGNIZE 745 00:40:16,467 --> 00:40:19,333 THAT YOU WERE IN THE WRONG BODY? 746 00:40:19,333 --> 00:40:21,600 I DON'T KNOW. EVER SINCE I WAS LITTLE. 747 00:40:21,600 --> 00:40:23,567 WHEN DID YOUR FAMILY BECOME AWARE? 748 00:40:23,567 --> 00:40:25,000 OH, WHEN I TALKED TO MY MOTHER ABOUT IT, 749 00:40:25,000 --> 00:40:27,800 SHE SAID SHE JUST ALWAYS SUSPECTED SOMETHING. 750 00:40:27,800 --> 00:40:30,333 BUT I CAME OUT TO MY FAMILY. 751 00:40:30,333 --> 00:40:32,033 WHAT WAS THAT LIKE FOR YOU? 752 00:40:32,033 --> 00:40:34,700 IT WAS LIKE A GOOD 50/50 SPLIT... 753 00:40:34,700 --> 00:40:35,700 OKAY. 754 00:40:35,700 --> 00:40:36,967 ...OF EITHER OKAY AND NOT OKAY. 755 00:40:36,967 --> 00:40:39,567 ARE YOU PART OF A TRANSGENDER COMMUNITY AT ALL? 756 00:40:39,567 --> 00:40:43,733 THERE ISN'T REALLY A COMMUNITY WHERE I'M FROM 'CAUSE I LIVE 757 00:40:43,733 --> 00:40:45,467 IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE. 758 00:40:45,467 --> 00:40:50,467 IT'S ESSENTIAL FOR YOU TO FEEL CONNECTED AND ACCEPTED, 759 00:40:50,467 --> 00:40:54,000 AND TO JUST BE ABLE TO HAVE THAT COMMUNAL FEEL 760 00:40:54,000 --> 00:40:55,367 WITH OTHER PEOPLE 761 00:40:55,367 --> 00:40:59,333 THAT HAVE TRAVELLED A SIMILAR PATH. 762 00:40:59,333 --> 00:41:00,733 THAT MAKES SENSE. 763 00:41:00,733 --> 00:41:04,500 SO, CHAY, I FEEL REALLY ENCOURAGED THAT YOU CAN GET BACK 764 00:41:04,500 --> 00:41:06,633 TO YOUR WEIGHT-LOSS JOURNEY. 765 00:41:06,633 --> 00:41:08,300 IS THAT SOMETHING YOU'RE PREPARED 766 00:41:08,300 --> 00:41:10,100 TO MAKE A TRUE EFFORT IN? 767 00:41:10,100 --> 00:41:13,467 I'M DEFINITELY GOING TO START, FIRST AND FOREMOST, 768 00:41:13,467 --> 00:41:15,600 WITH GETTING MY WEIGHT LOSS BACK 769 00:41:15,600 --> 00:41:17,267 IN THE DIRECTION IT NEEDS TO GO IN. 770 00:41:17,267 --> 00:41:18,933 THAT'S MY MAIN GOAL. 771 00:41:18,933 --> 00:41:20,100 OKAY. 772 00:41:20,100 --> 00:41:21,633 -THANK YOU SO MUCH, CHAY. -THANK YOU. 773 00:41:21,633 --> 00:41:23,067 OKAY. TRAVEL SAFELY. 774 00:41:23,067 --> 00:41:24,867 THANK YOU. 775 00:41:27,467 --> 00:41:30,600 I THINK MY SESSION TODAY WAS REALLY GOOD. 776 00:41:30,600 --> 00:41:32,100 IT'S A LOT OF STUFF TO THINK ABOUT 777 00:41:32,100 --> 00:41:34,233 BECAUSE I DON'T THINK FINDING A TRANSGENDER SUPPORT GROUP 778 00:41:34,233 --> 00:41:36,067 IS GOING TO BE EASY. 779 00:41:36,067 --> 00:41:38,833 THERE'S JUST NONE AT ALL WHERE I LIVE. 780 00:41:38,833 --> 00:41:42,933 AND I DO FEEL LONELY AND ISOLATED 781 00:41:42,933 --> 00:41:46,067 BECAUSE I JUST FEEL LIKE I'M NOT WELCOMED ANYWHERE, 782 00:41:46,067 --> 00:41:47,633 AND I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DEAL WITH THAT. 783 00:41:47,633 --> 00:41:50,233 BUT I'LL ADMIT, I HAVEN'T REALLY LOOKED THAT HARD 784 00:41:50,233 --> 00:41:54,467 FOR ANY SORT OF SUPPORT GROUPS IN THAT AREA. 785 00:41:54,467 --> 00:41:57,900 SO THAT'S WHAT I'LL WORK ON WHEN I GET BACK, 786 00:41:57,900 --> 00:42:01,200 AND MAYBE THAT WILL HELP WITH HOW I FEEL. 787 00:42:01,200 --> 00:42:03,633 BUT I'M NOT HOLDING MY BREATH RIGHT NOW. 788 00:42:19,333 --> 00:42:22,600 Laura: IT'S BEEN A MONTH SINCE MY SURGERY, 789 00:42:22,600 --> 00:42:25,933 AND HAVING A FULL BYPASS FEELS TOTALLY DIFFERENT 790 00:42:25,933 --> 00:42:28,467 THAN GETTING THE SLEEVE. 791 00:42:31,267 --> 00:42:34,600 I THOUGHT LIFE WAS GOING TO BE THE SAME AS THE FIRST SURGERY, 792 00:42:34,600 --> 00:42:37,067 BUT IT'S TOTALLY DIFFERENT. 793 00:42:37,067 --> 00:42:39,667 IT MIGHT BE STRESS AND IT MIGHT BE MY ENVIRONMENT, 794 00:42:39,667 --> 00:42:42,133 BUT IT'S MUCH HARDER THIS TIME. 795 00:42:42,133 --> 00:42:44,500 AND THE HEALING PROCESS IS DIFFERENT, 796 00:42:44,500 --> 00:42:50,200 AND I'M JUST HAVING A DIFFICULT TIME THIS TIME AROUND. 797 00:42:50,200 --> 00:42:52,367 BABE, I NEED TO TAKE MY NAUSEA PILL. 798 00:42:54,933 --> 00:42:58,600 SO, JOEY IS HAVING TO TAKE CARE OF ME. 799 00:42:58,600 --> 00:43:02,500 AND HE'S LIKING THAT A LOT RIGHT NOW 800 00:43:02,500 --> 00:43:06,067 BECAUSE IT REMINDS HIM OF WHEN I WAS 600 POUNDS 801 00:43:06,067 --> 00:43:08,900 AND WHEN HE HAD TO DO EVERYTHING FOR ME, 802 00:43:08,900 --> 00:43:13,333 SO IT MAKES HIM FEEL NEEDED. 803 00:43:13,333 --> 00:43:17,167 JOEY'S ALWAYS READY TO JUMP IN AND BE THE SUPERMAN AND HELP ME. 804 00:43:17,167 --> 00:43:19,867 HE LIKES FOR ME TO DEPEND ON HIM. 805 00:43:19,867 --> 00:43:25,700 BUT I'M NOT LIKING HAVING TO BE DEPENDENT AGAIN, 806 00:43:25,700 --> 00:43:30,967 SO I'M JUST TRYING TO GET BACK TO A PLACE WHERE I'M RECOVERED. 807 00:43:30,967 --> 00:43:33,133 I WAS JUST ABLE TO GET OFF LIQUIDS 808 00:43:33,133 --> 00:43:34,767 AND GO BACK TO SOLID FOOD, 809 00:43:34,767 --> 00:43:38,433 BUT I FEEL LIKE I CAN BARELY HOLD ANYTHING DOWN RIGHT NOW. 810 00:43:38,433 --> 00:43:41,767 [ GAGS ] 811 00:43:41,767 --> 00:43:45,067 SO I'M JUST FOCUSING ON GETTING BETTER, 812 00:43:45,067 --> 00:43:48,900 BUT FEELING AS SICK AS I DO IS REALLY STRESSFUL. 813 00:43:48,900 --> 00:43:52,933 AND I JUST NEED PEACE AND QUIET TO REST AND RECOVER, 814 00:43:52,933 --> 00:43:57,467 SO I'M STILL STAYING IN BED MOST OF THE DAY 815 00:43:57,467 --> 00:44:00,900 EXCEPT WHEN I'M SUPPOSED TO GET UP AND TAKE MY WALKS. 816 00:44:02,600 --> 00:44:06,100 BUT I DON'T WANT TO DO ANYTHING BECAUSE WHEN I BEND OVER, 817 00:44:06,100 --> 00:44:08,167 I START GETTING DIZZY AND STUFF. 818 00:44:08,167 --> 00:44:09,867 I THINK IT'S JUST BECAUSE I'M NOT EATING. 819 00:44:09,867 --> 00:44:12,933 BUT I KNOW I HAVE TO GET UP 820 00:44:12,933 --> 00:44:15,100 AND MOVE AROUND TO RECOVER PROPERLY 821 00:44:15,100 --> 00:44:19,500 SO I DON'T DEVELOP ANY COMPLICATIONS, 822 00:44:19,500 --> 00:44:22,667 SO I GET UP AND WALK WITH JOEY TWICE A DAY. 823 00:44:22,667 --> 00:44:24,733 YOU READY FOR THE WALK? 824 00:44:26,567 --> 00:44:27,733 [ SIGHS ] 825 00:44:27,733 --> 00:44:30,267 AND ONCE I GET OUT THERE, I START TO ENJOY IT. 826 00:44:30,267 --> 00:44:32,667 YOU'RE WALKING TOO FAST ALREADY. 827 00:44:32,667 --> 00:44:33,667 WHAT? 828 00:44:33,667 --> 00:44:36,200 YOU'RE ALREADY WALKING TOO FAST. 829 00:44:36,200 --> 00:44:41,767 RIGHT NOW, JOEY AND ME ARE STAYING AT HIS GRANDMOM'S HOUSE. 830 00:44:41,767 --> 00:44:46,100 I NEEDED TO GET OUT AND AWAY FROM THE STRESS OF MY FAMILY 831 00:44:46,100 --> 00:44:51,067 BECAUSE EVERYBODY WANTS TO BE A PART OF OUR BUSINESS, 832 00:44:51,067 --> 00:44:54,833 AND THEN THEY TAKE SIDES WITH EITHER ME OR JOEY. 833 00:44:54,833 --> 00:44:58,267 AND THE FIGHTING JUST GETS WORSE THEN. 834 00:44:58,267 --> 00:45:01,433 SO IF WE'RE GOING TO MAKE THIS WORK, WE HAVE TO FIND A WAY 835 00:45:01,433 --> 00:45:03,367 TO GET A PLACE OF OUR OWN. 836 00:45:06,100 --> 00:45:09,233 BECAUSE IF OUR RELATIONSHIP IS GOING TO HAVE A CHANCE, 837 00:45:09,233 --> 00:45:13,733 WE NEED TO SHUT EVERYONE OUT RIGHT NOW. 838 00:45:16,667 --> 00:45:18,467 STOP. 839 00:45:18,467 --> 00:45:20,333 THEY STRESS ME OUT. 840 00:45:22,433 --> 00:45:28,200 BUT BECAUSE I'M NOT ABLE TO WORK YET, WE DON'T HAVE THE MONEY. 841 00:45:28,200 --> 00:45:30,467 SO UNTIL WE DO, I'M WORRIED JOEY 842 00:45:30,467 --> 00:45:33,833 AND ME ARE JUST GOING TO KEEP FIGHTING 843 00:45:33,833 --> 00:45:35,233 AND OUR RELATIONSHIP 844 00:45:35,233 --> 00:45:37,667 IS JUST GOING TO KEEP GETTING WORSE... 845 00:45:42,900 --> 00:45:45,367 AND THAT, IN THE END, OUR RELATIONSHIP 846 00:45:45,367 --> 00:45:48,133 WILL NOT BE ABLE TO MAKE IT. 847 00:46:07,400 --> 00:46:09,700 Chay: I'VE BEEN TRYING TO FIND A TRANSGENDER SUPPORT GROUP 848 00:46:09,700 --> 00:46:13,567 SINCE SEEING THE THERAPIST, BUT I HAVEN'T HAD MUCH LUCK YET. 849 00:46:13,567 --> 00:46:16,500 I'M TRYING TO BATTLE MY LONELINESS IN OTHER WAYS, 850 00:46:16,500 --> 00:46:19,067 EVEN IF IT MAKES ME FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE. 851 00:46:19,067 --> 00:46:23,300 SO I'M FORCING MYSELF TO GO OUT MORE AND DOING THINGS 852 00:46:23,300 --> 00:46:26,233 LIKE TAKING WALKS IN THE PARK. 853 00:46:26,233 --> 00:46:27,800 AT LEAST IT KEEPS ME AROUND PEOPLE 854 00:46:27,800 --> 00:46:29,967 AND NOT ISOLATED IN MY ROOM. 855 00:46:29,967 --> 00:46:33,133 AND I'M GETTING EXERCISE, AND THAT'S GOOD. 856 00:46:33,133 --> 00:46:37,733 IT IS QUITE THE STARK CONTRAST FOR ME TO PUT ON WORKOUT CLOTHES 857 00:46:37,733 --> 00:46:41,800 AND GO DO ANY SORT OF PHYSICAL ACTIVITY. 858 00:46:45,567 --> 00:46:48,833 BECAUSE I HATE EXERCISE. 859 00:46:48,833 --> 00:46:53,233 SO I USUALLY JUST TRY TO WALK A GOOD 30 MINUTES 860 00:46:53,233 --> 00:46:54,967 AND JUST TRY TO WALK AS FAR AS POSSIBLE 861 00:46:54,967 --> 00:46:58,100 WITHIN THAT TIME FRAME. 862 00:46:58,100 --> 00:47:02,233 NO MATTER IF I'M WALKING OR GROCERY SHOPPING 863 00:47:02,233 --> 00:47:04,400 OR ANY ACTIVITY, 864 00:47:04,400 --> 00:47:08,100 WHEN I'M DOING WHAT I HAVE TO DO AND I HAVE A GOAL IN MIND 865 00:47:08,100 --> 00:47:10,433 AND I'M OUT AND ABOUT, I JUST ZONE THE WORLD OUT 866 00:47:10,433 --> 00:47:13,100 AND I'M JUST FOCUSED ON WHAT I GOT TO GET DONE. 867 00:47:13,100 --> 00:47:16,900 AND I'VE DEVELOPED A BAD HABIT OF AVOIDING PEOPLE 868 00:47:16,900 --> 00:47:19,700 BY JUST FOCUSING ON WHAT I'M DOING 869 00:47:19,700 --> 00:47:23,867 BECAUSE IT'S SCARY TO FACE PEOPLE. 870 00:47:23,867 --> 00:47:25,933 IT MAKES ME UNCOMFORTABLE, BECAUSE I'VE GOTTEN USED 871 00:47:25,933 --> 00:47:27,800 TO JUST IGNORING EVERYONE AROUND ME 872 00:47:27,800 --> 00:47:29,433 SO I DON'T HAVE TO DEAL WITH THE COMMENTS 873 00:47:29,433 --> 00:47:30,733 ABOUT MY WEIGHT OR THE FACT 874 00:47:30,733 --> 00:47:32,900 THAT I'M TRANSITIONING TO LIVING AS A WOMAN. 875 00:47:32,900 --> 00:47:35,067 [ WOLF WHISTLES ] LOOKING GOOD! 876 00:47:35,067 --> 00:47:36,367 [ LAUGHS ] 877 00:47:36,367 --> 00:47:39,067 IT'S NOT THAT FUNNY. 878 00:47:43,167 --> 00:47:47,333 THIS IS THE VERY REASON I AVOID GOING OUT. 879 00:47:47,333 --> 00:47:50,067 AND NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU TELL YOURSELF TO IGNORE IT, 880 00:47:50,067 --> 00:47:51,900 YOU REALLY CAN'T. 881 00:47:51,900 --> 00:47:55,733 HEY, FATTY! WHOO! 882 00:47:55,733 --> 00:47:58,433 SO I'M REGRETTING DOING THIS RIGHT NOW 883 00:47:58,433 --> 00:48:04,733 BECAUSE IT IS VERY CLEAR THAT NO ONE AROUND HERE WANTS ME HERE. 884 00:48:04,733 --> 00:48:10,067 I DON'T FIT IN WITH MY FAMILY. I DON'T FIT IN THIS COMMUNITY. 885 00:48:10,067 --> 00:48:12,600 AND I THINK I WAS A FOOL IF I THOUGHT I COULD COME OUT HERE 886 00:48:12,600 --> 00:48:14,600 AND NO ONE WOULD MAKE COMMENTS. 887 00:48:24,500 --> 00:48:27,833 Laura: IT'S BEEN ABOUT TWO MONTHS SINCE MY SURGERY, 888 00:48:27,833 --> 00:48:30,800 AND I'M ANXIOUS TO SEE WHAT MY WEIGHT IS. 889 00:48:33,600 --> 00:48:36,167 THE DOCTOR SAID THAT I'D LOSE THE MOST 890 00:48:36,167 --> 00:48:38,667 DURING THE FIRST MONTH AFTER THE SURGERY. 891 00:48:38,667 --> 00:48:40,733 LAURA PEREZ? 892 00:48:40,733 --> 00:48:45,067 SO I JUST HOPE IT'S A LOT, AND I'M HOPING THE DOCTOR 893 00:48:45,067 --> 00:48:48,200 WILL SAY THAT HE'LL START MAKING PREPARATIONS 894 00:48:48,200 --> 00:48:50,433 FOR MY SKIN SURGERY. 895 00:48:50,433 --> 00:48:54,767 BUT I KNOW I HAVE TO GET DOWN TO 250 TO QUALIFY FOR THAT, 896 00:48:54,767 --> 00:48:57,600 AND I WAS AT 289 BEFORE, 897 00:48:57,600 --> 00:48:59,533 SO THAT'S ALMOST 40 POUNDS 898 00:48:59,533 --> 00:49:04,533 I'D HAVE TO HAVE LOST IN THE PAST TWO MONTHS. 899 00:49:04,533 --> 00:49:06,067 YEE! 900 00:49:09,233 --> 00:49:13,300 THAT'S MORE THAN I LOST IN THE LAST HALF YEAR. 901 00:49:13,300 --> 00:49:16,067 I'M PRACTICALLY AT 250. 902 00:49:16,067 --> 00:49:20,700 THIS EXCESS SKIN IS LIKE CARRYING A SACK OF POTATOES 903 00:49:20,700 --> 00:49:24,200 WITH YOU EVERYWHERE YOU GO. 904 00:49:24,200 --> 00:49:26,567 SO I HOPE DR. NOW THINKS IT'S ENOUGH 905 00:49:26,567 --> 00:49:30,567 AND I CAN GET MY SKIN REMOVAL NOW. 906 00:49:30,567 --> 00:49:33,067 THE MOMENT THAT I SAW THAT NUMBER, I WAS HAPPY 907 00:49:33,067 --> 00:49:38,467 BECAUSE I HAVEN'T WEIGHED THAT LITTLE BIT IN YEARS. 908 00:49:38,467 --> 00:49:43,067 I'VE ACCOMPLISHED A LOT IN JUST A LITTLE BIT OF TIME. 909 00:49:43,067 --> 00:49:45,833 THIS DOES VALIDATE A LOT THAT I'VE PUT IN, 910 00:49:45,833 --> 00:49:47,467 ALL THE WORK I'VE PUT IN. 911 00:49:47,467 --> 00:49:48,633 [ KNOCK ON DOOR ] 912 00:49:48,633 --> 00:49:50,067 -HELLO. -HI. 913 00:49:50,067 --> 00:49:52,067 HOW ARE Y'ALL DOING? 914 00:49:52,067 --> 00:49:53,833 GOOD. 915 00:49:53,833 --> 00:49:57,500 SO, YOU'RE DOWN TO 258. 916 00:49:57,500 --> 00:50:00,067 THAT'S THE LOWEST YOU HAVE BEEN FOR A LONG TIME, HUH? 917 00:50:00,067 --> 00:50:01,833 SINCE MIDDLE SCHOOL. 918 00:50:01,833 --> 00:50:04,633 HOW IS YOUR EATING COMING ALONG? 919 00:50:04,633 --> 00:50:06,733 I DON'T HOLD NOTHING DOWN. 920 00:50:06,733 --> 00:50:08,833 I JUST WAKE UP, LIKE, NAUSEATED. 921 00:50:08,833 --> 00:50:10,233 IT'S NORMAL. YEAH. 922 00:50:10,233 --> 00:50:13,067 WELL, THAT'S NOT UNUSUAL AFTER YOU GET GASTRIC BYPASS 923 00:50:13,067 --> 00:50:14,600 BECAUSE YOU HAVE A VERY SMALL STOMACH. 924 00:50:14,600 --> 00:50:16,233 YOU EAT VERY SMALL. 925 00:50:16,233 --> 00:50:18,067 THAT'S A BIG STEP DOWN. 926 00:50:18,067 --> 00:50:19,967 AND IF YOU DON'T EAT, YOU GET NAUSEATED, 927 00:50:19,967 --> 00:50:22,667 -SO YOU HAVE TO START EATING... -YOU HAVE TO EAT, YEAH. 928 00:50:22,667 --> 00:50:25,967 ...RIGHT, AND THE STOMACH IS GOING TO GET USED TO IT. 929 00:50:25,967 --> 00:50:29,900 BUT LET ME TAKE A LOOK AND SEE HOW YOUR EXTRA SKIN LOOKS. 930 00:50:34,433 --> 00:50:37,567 THAT'S A LOT OF SKIN, BUT IT'S STILL A LOT OF FAT. 931 00:50:37,567 --> 00:50:40,067 SO YOU STILL NEED TO LOSE MORE WEIGHT 932 00:50:40,067 --> 00:50:43,933 BEFORE YOU'RE READY FOR SKIN REMOVAL AROUND YOUR ABDOMEN. 933 00:50:43,933 --> 00:50:47,733 BUT YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO LOSE AROUND 15 POUNDS A MONTH, 934 00:50:47,733 --> 00:50:50,367 SO KEEP AT IT. YOU'RE DOING WELL. 935 00:50:50,367 --> 00:50:53,833 STICK TO YOUR DIET AND MAKE SURE YOU'RE GETTING ENOUGH PROTEIN. 936 00:50:53,833 --> 00:50:55,100 OKAY. 937 00:50:55,100 --> 00:50:56,433 AND IF STAY ON TRACK, 938 00:50:56,433 --> 00:50:58,700 BY NEXT MONTH, YOU SHOULD BE READY. 939 00:50:58,700 --> 00:51:00,067 -OKAY. -OKAY? 940 00:51:00,067 --> 00:51:01,400 -THANK YOU. -ALL RIGHT. 941 00:51:01,400 --> 00:51:03,400 THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING THAT YOU'VE DONE FOR ME. 942 00:51:03,400 --> 00:51:05,267 OKAY. 943 00:51:12,067 --> 00:51:15,600 I'M GLAD THAT DR. NOW IS HAPPY WITH MY WEIGHT LOSS, 944 00:51:15,600 --> 00:51:17,167 BUT I'M A LITTLE DISAPPOINTED 945 00:51:17,167 --> 00:51:19,833 THAT I'M NOT GETTING SKIN SURGERY RIGHT NOW. 946 00:51:22,067 --> 00:51:26,100 BUT I KNOW I CAN LOSE THE WEIGHT HE WANTS ME TO TO GET THERE. 947 00:51:38,667 --> 00:51:42,367 Chay: I HAVEN'T REALLY BEEN GOING OUT MUCH THIS PAST MONTH, 948 00:51:42,367 --> 00:51:45,867 AND I'VE BEEN FEELING REALLY HOPELESS. 949 00:51:45,867 --> 00:51:50,833 I HAVEN'T FOUND A SUPPORT GROUP, SO I'VE GIVING UP ON FINDING 950 00:51:50,833 --> 00:51:53,500 ANY TRANSGENDER GROUPS IN THIS AREA, 951 00:51:53,500 --> 00:51:57,667 AND I'M JUST DEPRESSED RIGHT NOW. 952 00:51:57,667 --> 00:52:00,800 AND OUTSIDE OF WORK, I'M JUST STAYING IN MY ROOM 953 00:52:00,800 --> 00:52:04,367 BECAUSE EVER SINCE GETTING BULLIED AT THE PARK, 954 00:52:04,367 --> 00:52:07,100 I'VE JUST LOST ALL MOTIVATION. 955 00:52:07,100 --> 00:52:10,300 AND I DON'T REALLY CARE RIGHT NOW. 956 00:52:10,300 --> 00:52:12,300 I'VE STOPPED TRYING. I'VE STOPPED CARING. 957 00:52:12,300 --> 00:52:14,500 I'VE STOPPED PUTTING FORTH ANY EFFORT. 958 00:52:14,500 --> 00:52:19,833 THERE JUST IS A WHOLE LOT OF SELF-DOUBT, I GUESS. 959 00:52:19,833 --> 00:52:23,167 IT SEEMS LIKE EVERYTHING IN LIFE THAT I TRIED TO AIM FOR 960 00:52:23,167 --> 00:52:24,767 OR ACHIEVE, 961 00:52:24,767 --> 00:52:28,067 SOMETHING COMES ALONG THAT PREVENTS THE GOAL 962 00:52:28,067 --> 00:52:33,533 FROM COMING TO FRUITION JUST, LIKE, EVERY SINGLE TIME. 963 00:52:33,533 --> 00:52:35,867 AND IT'S LIKE, "WHY EVEN TRY?" 964 00:52:35,867 --> 00:52:40,900 SOMETIMES YOU JUST GET TO WHERE YOU JUST FEEL SO BEAT DOWN 965 00:52:40,900 --> 00:52:42,100 AND SO TRODDED ON 966 00:52:42,100 --> 00:52:44,867 AND JUST FEEL LIKE, NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO, 967 00:52:44,867 --> 00:52:48,633 EVERYTHING'S IMPOSSIBLE. 968 00:52:48,633 --> 00:52:52,267 I DON'T LIKE THE PERSON I SEE IN THE MIRROR, 969 00:52:52,267 --> 00:52:54,500 AND I WANT TO CHANGE MY LIFE. 970 00:52:54,500 --> 00:52:57,500 BUT RIGHT NOW I DON'T EVEN SEE THE POINT OF TRYING, 971 00:52:57,500 --> 00:53:00,067 BECAUSE IT'S NOT GOING TO GO ANYWHERE. 972 00:53:00,067 --> 00:53:04,500 NO MATTER WHAT, I'M GOING TO END UP BACK WHERE I STARTED. 973 00:53:04,500 --> 00:53:08,100 AND I DON'T THINK THERE'S REALLY ANYTHING I CAN DO ABOUT IT. 974 00:53:08,100 --> 00:53:12,067 I WILL JUST END UP ALONE AND TRAPPED IN MY ROOM. 975 00:53:12,067 --> 00:53:15,600 BUT AT THE END OF THE DAY, THAT'S HOW I LIKE IT. 976 00:53:15,600 --> 00:53:19,667 SO RIGHT NOW, I'M THINKING ABOUT JUST GIVING UP ON EVERYTHING. 977 00:53:37,067 --> 00:53:39,433 Chay: I'VE HAD A REALLY BAD COUPLE OF MONTHS, 978 00:53:39,433 --> 00:53:41,900 AND I'VE BEEN STRUGGLING WITH BEING DEPRESSED. 979 00:53:45,867 --> 00:53:49,067 I'M STILL REALLY STRUGGLING WITH BEING MOTIVATED AT ALL. 980 00:53:52,967 --> 00:53:55,933 I HAD REACHED OUT TO A LOT OF TRANSGENDER GROUPS AND PEOPLE 981 00:53:55,933 --> 00:53:58,833 AFTER TALKING WITH A THERAPIST 982 00:53:58,833 --> 00:54:01,467 TO SEE IF THERE'S ANYONE THAT I CAN MEET WITH. 983 00:54:03,967 --> 00:54:06,300 AND I HAVEN'T HAD MUCH LUCK. 984 00:54:06,300 --> 00:54:10,600 BUT LAST WEEK, A LADY NAMED DEEDEE RESPONDED. 985 00:54:10,600 --> 00:54:14,100 SHE'S NOT IN MY AREA, BUT SHE CAN MEET WITH ME IN HOUSTON. 986 00:54:14,100 --> 00:54:16,800 SO I STILL DON'T HAVE ANYONE WHERE I LIVE, 987 00:54:16,800 --> 00:54:18,133 BUT I'M EXCITED TO TALK TO HER 988 00:54:18,133 --> 00:54:20,933 AND TO SEE WHAT I CAN LEARN FROM HER. 989 00:54:20,933 --> 00:54:24,300 DEEDEE'S A TRANSGENDER WOMAN AND ACTIVIST, 990 00:54:24,300 --> 00:54:29,167 SOMEONE WHO CAN TEACH ME A FEW THINGS. 991 00:54:29,167 --> 00:54:31,200 IT'S DEFINITELY GOOD TO HAVE SOMEBODY 992 00:54:31,200 --> 00:54:34,300 WHO UNDERSTANDS YOUR STRUGGLE. 993 00:54:34,300 --> 00:54:37,633 I DON'T KNOW WHAT I MIGHT BE ABLE TO LEARN FROM DEEDEE. 994 00:54:37,633 --> 00:54:42,367 I JUST HOPE I MEET SOMEONE WHO COULD BE A FRIEND 995 00:54:42,367 --> 00:54:44,567 AND SOMEONE THAT I CAN TALK TO. 996 00:54:46,533 --> 00:54:47,933 -HELLO. -HI, THERE. 997 00:54:47,933 --> 00:54:48,933 -HOW ARE YOU? -I'M GOOD. 998 00:54:48,933 --> 00:54:50,700 COME ON IN, COME ON IN, COME ON IN. 999 00:54:50,700 --> 00:54:52,167 ALL RIGHTY. 1000 00:54:57,267 --> 00:54:59,900 SO, TELL ME A LITTLE BIT ABOUT YOUR JOURNEY. 1001 00:54:59,900 --> 00:55:03,100 WHAT'S BEEN GOING ON WITH YOU, ESPECIALLY HERE RECENTLY? 1002 00:55:03,100 --> 00:55:06,633 MY -- LIKE, MY TRANSITION HAS BEEN A TERRIBLE STRUGGLE. 1003 00:55:06,633 --> 00:55:08,967 MY FAMILY, WE HAD A LITTLE ROUGHNESS AT FIRST, 1004 00:55:08,967 --> 00:55:11,767 BUT I WAS NEVER DISOWNED OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT. 1005 00:55:11,767 --> 00:55:13,867 HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT BEING WHO YOU ARE 1006 00:55:13,867 --> 00:55:15,200 AND AFFIRMING WHO YOU ARE NOW? 1007 00:55:15,200 --> 00:55:18,067 BECAUSE SOMETIMES IT'S DIFFERENT FROM WHEN YOU, 1008 00:55:18,067 --> 00:55:20,533 YOU KNOW, KIND OF STARTED YOUR WALK IN LIFE. 1009 00:55:20,533 --> 00:55:21,733 JUST GO THROUGH THE MOTIONS. 1010 00:55:21,733 --> 00:55:23,667 I DON'T REALLY THINK ABOUT IT TOO MUCH. 1011 00:55:23,667 --> 00:55:25,200 I JUST -- I WAKE UP... 1012 00:55:25,200 --> 00:55:26,100 MM-HMM. 1013 00:55:26,100 --> 00:55:27,567 ...AND I GO ABOUT MY DAY. 1014 00:55:27,567 --> 00:55:29,100 SO, HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN THROUGH YOUR JOURNEY 1015 00:55:29,100 --> 00:55:30,233 OF TRANSITIONING? 1016 00:55:30,233 --> 00:55:33,867 I NEVER THOUGHT TO REALLY MAKE POINTS 1017 00:55:33,867 --> 00:55:35,267 TO THINK ABOUT THE STARTING. 1018 00:55:35,267 --> 00:55:36,367 MM-HMM. 1019 00:55:36,367 --> 00:55:38,133 LIKE, I NEVER MADE MENTAL NOTES OF IT. 1020 00:55:38,133 --> 00:55:40,600 I GUESS IT'S BEEN ABOUT TWO YEARS SINCE THIS STARTED. 1021 00:55:40,600 --> 00:55:42,300 SO, I WANT TO FIND OUT A LITTLE BIT 1022 00:55:42,300 --> 00:55:43,567 ABOUT THE TOWN THAT YOU'RE FROM. 1023 00:55:43,567 --> 00:55:46,433 HOW IS IT FOR THE LGBTQ COMMUNITY THERE? 1024 00:55:46,433 --> 00:55:50,233 IT'S JUST, WHERE I LIVE, YOU KNOW, 1025 00:55:50,233 --> 00:55:53,233 EVERYTHING'S SO SPREAD OUT 'CAUSE EVERYTHING'S COUNTRY. 1026 00:55:53,233 --> 00:55:54,300 MM-HMM. 1027 00:55:54,300 --> 00:55:55,500 I KNOW THAT WHEN IT'S A SMALL TOWN, 1028 00:55:55,500 --> 00:55:57,200 EVERYBODY KNOWS EVERYBODY, JUST ABOUT. 1029 00:55:57,200 --> 00:56:01,233 DID YOU SEE PEOPLE THAT RESEMBLE YOU THAT YOU CAN IDENTIFY WITH? 1030 00:56:01,233 --> 00:56:04,533 SO, NOBODY REALLY LIVES CLOSE TO EACH OTHER 1031 00:56:04,533 --> 00:56:05,933 FOR THERE REALLY TO BE 1032 00:56:05,933 --> 00:56:08,200 A SUPER-CLOSE-KNIT LGBTQ COMMUNITY. 1033 00:56:08,200 --> 00:56:09,300 OKAY, OKAY. 1034 00:56:09,300 --> 00:56:10,667 BUT I THINK THAT ONE OF THE THINGS 1035 00:56:10,667 --> 00:56:12,233 THAT YOU SHOULD DO IS AFFIRM THE FACT 1036 00:56:12,233 --> 00:56:14,067 THAT YOU WERE ACTUALLY ABLE TO TRANSITION. 1037 00:56:14,067 --> 00:56:16,633 AFFIRM THAT BUT ALSO RECOGNIZE AND ACKNOWLEDGE 1038 00:56:16,633 --> 00:56:17,767 THAT THERE ARE OTHER SISTERS 1039 00:56:17,767 --> 00:56:19,300 THAT WE HAVE OUT THERE AND BROTHERS. 1040 00:56:19,300 --> 00:56:20,267 MM-HMM. 1041 00:56:20,267 --> 00:56:22,467 AND I WANT YOU TO NEVER FORGET 1042 00:56:22,467 --> 00:56:24,767 THAT YOU ARE STILL A PART OF THE WORLD, 1043 00:56:24,767 --> 00:56:26,633 THE WHOLE LGBTQ COMMUNITY. 1044 00:56:26,633 --> 00:56:28,333 AND I WILL TELL YOU THIS. 1045 00:56:28,333 --> 00:56:29,667 I HOPE TO ENCOURAGE YOU. 1046 00:56:29,667 --> 00:56:31,067 WHEN LIFE THROWS YOU A CURVEBALL, 1047 00:56:31,067 --> 00:56:32,600 I CAN SEE THAT YOU ARE THE TYPE OF PERSON 1048 00:56:32,600 --> 00:56:34,667 WHO DOESN'T MIND STEPPING UP TO THE PLATE 1049 00:56:34,667 --> 00:56:36,167 AND WHO DOES NOT MIND SWINGING. 1050 00:56:36,167 --> 00:56:37,733 I HOPE THAT YOU CONTINUE TO DO THAT. 1051 00:56:37,733 --> 00:56:41,367 AND I WOULD LIKE TO ENCOURAGE YOU TO CONTINUE TO BE 1052 00:56:41,367 --> 00:56:43,533 WHO YOU ARE SO THAT YOU CAN BE VISIBLE. 1053 00:56:43,533 --> 00:56:46,600 AND I HOPE THAT YOU CONTINUE TO USE THOSE THINGS 1054 00:56:46,600 --> 00:56:48,133 TO MAKE YOU MORE POWERFUL, 1055 00:56:48,133 --> 00:56:50,400 YOU KNOW, AS A PERSON DURING THIS JOURNEY, 1056 00:56:50,400 --> 00:56:51,933 'CAUSE THIS STUFF GETS HARD. 1057 00:56:51,933 --> 00:56:53,833 AND SOMETIMES, IT GETS REAL. 1058 00:56:53,833 --> 00:56:55,900 WELCOME TO YOUR TRANSITION, DEAR. 1059 00:56:55,900 --> 00:56:56,900 [ LAUGHS ] 1060 00:56:56,900 --> 00:56:58,233 THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH FOR COMING BY. 1061 00:56:58,233 --> 00:56:59,700 I REALLY, REALLY APPRECIATED IT. 1062 00:56:59,700 --> 00:57:02,600 IT WAS A PLEASURE. I APPRECIATE IT, ALSO. 1063 00:57:02,600 --> 00:57:04,300 OKAY. 1064 00:57:04,300 --> 00:57:05,833 AND I GUESS WE GOT THE MEMO, HUH? 1065 00:57:05,833 --> 00:57:07,200 -BLUE DRESSES. -I'M TELLING YOU. 1066 00:57:07,200 --> 00:57:09,367 -BE SAFE, OKAY? -THANK YOU. 1067 00:57:09,367 --> 00:57:12,400 -BYE. -BYE-BYE. 1068 00:57:12,400 --> 00:57:16,667 Chay: I'M FEELING A LITTLE BETTER, AND I REALLY LIKE DEEDEE. 1069 00:57:16,667 --> 00:57:19,200 SHE HAD A LOT OF WISDOM, 1070 00:57:19,200 --> 00:57:23,100 AND SHE REALLY HELPED OPEN MY EYES. 1071 00:57:26,400 --> 00:57:30,067 I'M FEELING A LITTLE CONNECTED TO SOMETHING OUTSIDE OF ME. 1072 00:57:30,067 --> 00:57:33,067 THAT IS A COMMUNITY. 1073 00:57:33,067 --> 00:57:34,533 SO THE THING THAT RESONATES 1074 00:57:34,533 --> 00:57:36,167 THE MOST WITH ME FROM THE MEETING TODAY 1075 00:57:36,167 --> 00:57:39,100 IS THAT NO MATTER HOW SMALL OF A TOWN 1076 00:57:39,100 --> 00:57:43,233 I LIVE IN, I'M STILL PART OF A COMMUNITY. 1077 00:57:43,233 --> 00:57:47,167 I AM JUST LIKE THE PERSON NEXT TO ME. 1078 00:57:47,167 --> 00:57:51,500 MY EXPERIENCES MAY BE DIFFERENT, BUT I BLEED JUST LIKE THEY DO, 1079 00:57:51,500 --> 00:57:53,767 SO I NEED TO BE ABLE TO HAVE THEIR BACK, 1080 00:57:53,767 --> 00:57:56,400 AND I NEED TO BE ABLE TO SPEAK UP 1081 00:57:56,400 --> 00:57:59,233 FOR THE MEMBERS OF OUR COMMUNITY. 1082 00:57:59,233 --> 00:58:03,933 SO I HAVE A RESPONSIBILITY TO BE BETTER AND TO DO BETTER 1083 00:58:03,933 --> 00:58:06,467 BECAUSE OF THAT. 1084 00:58:24,100 --> 00:58:26,967 Laura: THIS HAS BEEN A GOOD MONTH. 1085 00:58:26,967 --> 00:58:30,433 JOEY AND ME FINALLY GOT A PLACE OF OUR OWN. 1086 00:58:30,433 --> 00:58:32,333 I JUST NEEDED TO BE DONE WITH ALL THE STRESS 1087 00:58:32,333 --> 00:58:35,533 OF BEING AROUND FAMILY AND DEALING WITH THEM. 1088 00:58:35,533 --> 00:58:36,833 -BABY? -YEAH. 1089 00:58:36,833 --> 00:58:38,833 I JUST BOUGHT THIS BLOUSE. 1090 00:58:40,900 --> 00:58:42,767 I DIDN'T EVEN GET TO WEAR IT. 1091 00:58:48,167 --> 00:58:50,300 THIS IS RIDICULOUS, MAN. 1092 00:58:53,467 --> 00:58:55,533 I'M HOPING BEING AWAY FROM OUR FAMILIES 1093 00:58:55,533 --> 00:58:57,167 WILL HELP US TO STOP FIGHTING 1094 00:58:57,167 --> 00:59:01,067 AND GIVE US A CHANCE TO WORK ON OUR RELATIONSHIP. 1095 00:59:01,067 --> 00:59:03,300 WE HAVEN'T LIVED ON OUR OWN IN A WHILE. 1096 00:59:03,300 --> 00:59:06,067 BUT WHERE WE LIVING, IT WAS REALLY BAD, 1097 00:59:06,067 --> 00:59:08,933 AND I TOLD HIM I COULDN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE. 1098 00:59:08,933 --> 00:59:15,600 AND HOPEFULLY THIS ENVIRONMENT WILL CHANGE US. 1099 00:59:15,600 --> 00:59:18,667 BUT SO FAR, THAT HASN'T BEEN THE CASE. 1100 00:59:18,667 --> 00:59:20,967 WHY IS THIS CHAIR HERE? 1101 00:59:20,967 --> 00:59:23,133 OH, MY GOD. 1102 00:59:23,133 --> 00:59:25,600 I CAN'T OPEN THIS REFRIGERATOR WITHOUT THAT CHAIR. 1103 00:59:25,600 --> 00:59:27,067 I'M GOING TO FIX IT. CALM DOWN. 1104 00:59:27,067 --> 00:59:28,533 HERE I COME. 1105 00:59:28,533 --> 00:59:31,300 WE STILL NEED TO WORK THROUGH A LOT OF ISSUES. 1106 00:59:33,067 --> 00:59:34,233 WE'RE GOING TO HAVE TO GET A... 1107 00:59:34,233 --> 00:59:36,967 I'LL SERVE IT. JUST SIT YOUR BUTT DOWN. 1108 00:59:36,967 --> 00:59:39,333 SIT DOWN. 1109 00:59:39,333 --> 00:59:43,567 AND WHEN WE FIGHT, JOEY JUST GETS AGGRESSIVE 1110 00:59:43,567 --> 00:59:47,333 AND HE GETS AN ATTITUDE REALLY BAD. 1111 00:59:47,333 --> 00:59:49,100 AND ALL OF IT REVOLVES AROUND THE FACT 1112 00:59:49,100 --> 00:59:52,600 THAT I'M LOSING THE WEIGHT AND I'M INDEPENDENT NOW. 1113 00:59:52,600 --> 00:59:56,800 AND HE CAN'T CONTROL EVERYTHING, INCLUDING ME ANYMORE. 1114 00:59:56,800 --> 00:59:59,467 YOU ARE MESSY. YOU MAKE A MESS IN MY KITCHEN. 1115 00:59:59,467 --> 01:00:02,367 YOU MAKE A MESS IN MY FRIDGE. 1116 01:00:02,367 --> 01:00:06,900 BUT HE'S GETTING VERY POSSESSIVE BECAUSE I TOLD HIM 1117 01:00:06,900 --> 01:00:10,033 I WANT TO GET A JOB AND I WANT TO HAVE A CAREER. 1118 01:00:10,033 --> 01:00:13,900 AND HE WOULD JUST START SAYING, "NO, YOU'RE NOT GONNA GET A JOB. 1119 01:00:13,900 --> 01:00:15,067 YOU'RE NOT GONNA DO THIS. 1120 01:00:15,067 --> 01:00:16,600 YOU'RE GONNA STAY AT HOME." 1121 01:00:16,600 --> 01:00:21,000 SO I GUESS ME LOSING THE WEIGHT HAS REALLY MESSED UP HIS HEAD. 1122 01:00:26,067 --> 01:00:28,467 [ GROANS ] 1123 01:00:28,467 --> 01:00:33,733 [ Crying ] IT MAKES ME FEEL BAD BECAUSE I WORKED SO HARD 1124 01:00:33,733 --> 01:00:36,500 TO BE WHERE I'M AT. 1125 01:00:36,500 --> 01:00:41,100 AND HE MAKES ME FEEL BAD. 1126 01:00:41,100 --> 01:00:42,367 [ SPEAKING SPANISH ] 1127 01:00:42,367 --> 01:00:44,833 [ SCOFFS ] 1128 01:00:44,833 --> 01:00:46,367 -WOULD YOU LIKE CRACKERS? -NO. 1129 01:00:46,367 --> 01:00:48,300 -YOU WANT CRACKERS? -YEAH, YEAH, PLEASE. 1130 01:00:48,300 --> 01:00:50,267 WHAT DO YOU THINK THIS IS, A BUFFET? 1131 01:00:50,267 --> 01:00:51,500 YEAH. 1132 01:00:51,500 --> 01:00:54,800 BUT I WANT TO DO WHATEVER I WANT TO DO IN MY LIFE, 1133 01:00:54,800 --> 01:00:57,633 AND JOEY'S GOING TO HAVE TO LEARN TO ACCEPT THAT 1134 01:00:57,633 --> 01:01:00,933 I'M BECOMING THE ME THAT I WANT TO BE. 1135 01:01:00,933 --> 01:01:03,733 AND IF HE DOESN'T, WELL, THEN, I HAVE TO LET HIM GO, 1136 01:01:03,733 --> 01:01:06,433 EVEN IF I DO LOVE HIM. 1137 01:01:06,433 --> 01:01:09,933 IF I HAVE TO GIVE UP MYSELF FOR US TO BE TOGETHER, 1138 01:01:09,933 --> 01:01:12,600 THEN I'M NOT DOING IT. 1139 01:01:12,600 --> 01:01:16,233 SOMETIMES I JUST GET SO DEPRESSED. 1140 01:01:16,233 --> 01:01:20,733 AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO BECAUSE HE JUST SAYS, 1141 01:01:20,733 --> 01:01:25,433 "I WISH I HAD THE OLD ANGEL BACK." 1142 01:01:25,433 --> 01:01:27,800 AND I'M NOT THAT PERSON ANYMORE. 1143 01:01:45,533 --> 01:01:49,067 Laura: I'M BACK FOR MY NEXT APPOINTMENT WITH DR. NOW, 1144 01:01:49,067 --> 01:01:51,667 AND I'VE BEEN WORKING TO STICK TO MY DIET, 1145 01:01:51,667 --> 01:01:56,467 EVEN WITH ALL THE STRESS AND FIGHTING WITH ME AND JOEY. 1146 01:01:56,467 --> 01:02:00,667 LUCKILY, I STILL DON'T HAVE MUCH OF AN APPETITE MOST DAYS. 1147 01:02:00,667 --> 01:02:02,400 LAURA PEREZ? 1148 01:02:02,400 --> 01:02:04,633 BUT I'M HOPING I'VE FINALLY LOST ENOUGH WEIGHT 1149 01:02:04,633 --> 01:02:07,433 TO GET APPROVED FOR MY SKIN REMOVAL TODAY. 1150 01:02:07,433 --> 01:02:15,067 MY LAST WEIGHT WAS AT 258, AND I SHOULD BE 228 TODAY. 1151 01:02:15,067 --> 01:02:18,733 I JUST REALLY HOPE I'VE DONE THAT, BECAUSE THE EXCESS SKIN 1152 01:02:18,733 --> 01:02:21,867 IS STARTING TO GET UNBEARABLE. 1153 01:02:21,867 --> 01:02:24,467 OKAY, 225. 1154 01:02:24,467 --> 01:02:26,433 YEE! 1155 01:02:28,733 --> 01:02:30,633 MAN! 1156 01:02:30,633 --> 01:02:33,067 I DON'T EVEN REMEMBER WHEN I WEIGHED THAT LITTLE. 1157 01:02:33,067 --> 01:02:34,800 225! 1158 01:02:34,800 --> 01:02:38,433 IT'S AMAZING. 1159 01:02:38,433 --> 01:02:41,400 I'M REALLY IN SHOCK. 1160 01:02:41,400 --> 01:02:45,333 PART OF ME NEVER REALLY THOUGHT I COULD GET DOWN TO THIS SIZE. 1161 01:02:45,333 --> 01:02:46,467 [ KNOCK ON DOOR ] 1162 01:02:46,467 --> 01:02:47,733 -HELLO. -HELLO. 1163 01:02:47,733 --> 01:02:49,133 HOW ARE Y'ALL DOING? 1164 01:02:49,133 --> 01:02:50,933 GOOD. 1165 01:02:50,933 --> 01:02:52,167 ALL RIGHT. 1166 01:02:52,167 --> 01:02:54,067 SO, YOU'RE LOSING A GOOD AMOUNT OF WEIGHT. 1167 01:02:54,067 --> 01:02:55,167 THAT'S GREAT. 1168 01:02:55,167 --> 01:02:56,767 SO, HOW ARE YOU FEELING? 1169 01:02:56,767 --> 01:02:58,100 I'M DOING GOOD. 1170 01:02:58,100 --> 01:03:01,767 I JUST HAVEN'T REALLY BEEN EATING SOLIDS TOO MUCH. 1171 01:03:01,767 --> 01:03:04,933 AND SO, WHAT SEEMS TO BE A PROBLEM WITH THAT? 1172 01:03:04,933 --> 01:03:08,867 I'VE NOTICED THAT I'M GETTING A LITTLE DIZZY AND STUFF, 1173 01:03:08,867 --> 01:03:11,333 AND I STILL HAVE NAUSEA. 1174 01:03:11,333 --> 01:03:12,433 I STILL THROW UP. 1175 01:03:12,433 --> 01:03:14,067 HOW OFTEN DO YOU THROW UP? 1176 01:03:14,067 --> 01:03:17,467 THERE'S DAYS WHERE I'LL HOLD THE FOOD DOWN, 1177 01:03:17,467 --> 01:03:20,267 AND THEN THERE'S DAYS WHERE IT WON'T -- 1178 01:03:20,267 --> 01:03:21,867 IT WON'T STAY DOWN. 1179 01:03:21,867 --> 01:03:23,200 THAT'S NORMAL. 1180 01:03:23,200 --> 01:03:27,133 SOME NAUSEA AND DIZZINESS IS PART OF TRANSITIONING 1181 01:03:27,133 --> 01:03:28,467 FOR A COUPLE OF MONTHS, 1182 01:03:28,467 --> 01:03:30,433 AND THAT WILL GO AWAY SHORTLY. 1183 01:03:30,433 --> 01:03:33,200 BUT HOW IS THE EXTRA SKIN DOING ON YOUR STOMACH? 1184 01:03:33,200 --> 01:03:36,067 REALLY LOOSE -- EVERYWHERE. 1185 01:03:36,067 --> 01:03:37,167 ALL RIGHT. 1186 01:03:37,167 --> 01:03:39,600 SO, LET ME TAKE A LOOK AT YOUR EXTRA SKIN 1187 01:03:39,600 --> 01:03:41,767 AND SEE HOW THINGS ARE. 1188 01:03:45,833 --> 01:03:48,600 ALL RIGHT. YOU'VE GOT A LOT OF EXTRA SKIN, 1189 01:03:48,600 --> 01:03:52,167 AND IT LOOKS LIKE YOU LOST THE FAT YOU NEED. 1190 01:03:52,167 --> 01:03:56,167 LAURA IS STILL DOING VERY WELL, AND I'M PROUD OF HER. 1191 01:03:56,167 --> 01:03:58,567 SHE'S PUSHING HER LIMITS A LITTLE, 1192 01:03:58,567 --> 01:04:02,700 BUT SURGERY IS HELPING TO PREVENT ANY OVEREATING. 1193 01:04:02,700 --> 01:04:05,800 VOMITING CAN BE A RESULT OF EATING GREASY FOOD 1194 01:04:05,800 --> 01:04:09,967 THAT THE BODY REJECTS NOW BECAUSE OF THE BYPASS. 1195 01:04:09,967 --> 01:04:13,167 AND IT'S NOT UNUSUAL PEOPLE DEVELOP INTOLERANCE 1196 01:04:13,167 --> 01:04:15,833 TO CERTAIN FOOD AFTER THE BYPASS, 1197 01:04:15,833 --> 01:04:19,433 BUT THAT USUALLY GOES AWAY IN A FEW MONTHS. 1198 01:04:19,433 --> 01:04:22,100 SO HER BYPASS REVISION IS WORKING, 1199 01:04:22,100 --> 01:04:25,333 AND SHE'S LOSING WHAT SHE SHOULD EACH MONTH. 1200 01:04:25,333 --> 01:04:27,867 YOU'RE REALLY GETTING TO THE POINT THAT THE EXTRA SKIN 1201 01:04:27,867 --> 01:04:31,400 IS GOING TO BE NECESSARY TO BE REMOVED 1202 01:04:31,400 --> 01:04:34,067 TO GET ALL THAT HANGING TISSUE. 1203 01:04:34,067 --> 01:04:36,400 SO WHEN WE TAKE THAT EXTRA SKIN OFF 1204 01:04:36,400 --> 01:04:38,433 YOU'RE GOING TO BE UNDER 200. 1205 01:04:38,433 --> 01:04:42,167 OH, YES. I'VE NEVER WEIGHED THAT LITTLE. 1206 01:04:42,167 --> 01:04:45,333 OFFICIALLY, YOU ARE APPROVED FOR SKIN SURGERY 1207 01:04:45,333 --> 01:04:48,667 TO HAVE EXCESS SKIN AROUND YOUR ABDOMEN REMOVED. 1208 01:04:48,667 --> 01:04:50,100 THANK YOU. 1209 01:04:50,100 --> 01:04:52,333 WE'LL GET YOU ON THE SCHEDULE FOR NEXT MONTH, 1210 01:04:52,333 --> 01:04:54,067 AND I'LL SEE YOU THEN. 1211 01:04:54,067 --> 01:04:55,200 GREAT. 1212 01:04:55,200 --> 01:04:57,167 YOU'RE DOING GREAT. ALL RIGHT. 1213 01:04:57,167 --> 01:04:59,067 NICE TO SEE YOU. 1214 01:04:59,067 --> 01:05:03,267 Dr. Nowzaradan: I'M REALLY PROUD OF LAURA AND HOW FAR SHE HAS COME. 1215 01:05:03,267 --> 01:05:07,400 SHE'S WORKED HARD, AND SHE HAS LOST AROUND 500 POUNDS 1216 01:05:07,400 --> 01:05:10,200 OVER THE LAST TWO TO THREE YEARS. 1217 01:05:10,200 --> 01:05:13,800 SHE'S COME A LONG WAY SINCE SHE WAS 600 POUNDS. 1218 01:05:13,800 --> 01:05:16,733 FIRST TIME I SAW, LAURA WAS ON OXYGEN 1219 01:05:16,733 --> 01:05:19,967 AND WAS UNABLE TO WALK, UNABLE TO BREATHE. 1220 01:05:19,967 --> 01:05:22,833 BUT NOW SHE IS WALKING FREELY, 1221 01:05:22,833 --> 01:05:25,633 SHE'S NOT OXYGEN-DEPENDENT ANYMORE. 1222 01:05:25,633 --> 01:05:29,067 SHE HAS MADE A SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT IN HER ABILITY 1223 01:05:29,067 --> 01:05:31,667 TO WALK AND BE ACTIVE. 1224 01:05:31,667 --> 01:05:34,967 AND I HAVE NO DOUBT SHE'S GOING TO KEEP GOING, 1225 01:05:34,967 --> 01:05:39,067 AND SHE'LL BE SUCCESSFUL IN THE LONG TERM. 1226 01:05:52,600 --> 01:05:53,867 Chay: SINCE TALKING WITH DEEDEE, 1227 01:05:53,867 --> 01:05:55,800 I'VE BEEN REALIZING MY RESPONSIBILITY 1228 01:05:55,800 --> 01:05:58,767 FOR WHAT I HAVE TO DO. 1229 01:05:58,767 --> 01:06:02,133 IT'S BEEN A WHILE SINCE I'VE BEEN BACK TO SEE DR. NOW, 1230 01:06:02,133 --> 01:06:04,733 AND I'VE BEEN STRUGGLING WITH BEING DOWN 1231 01:06:04,733 --> 01:06:07,267 AND WANTING TO GIVE UP. 1232 01:06:09,567 --> 01:06:12,633 BUT DEEDEE'S BIGGEST INSIGHT TO ME WAS THAT, NO MATTER WHAT, 1233 01:06:12,633 --> 01:06:15,400 I HAVE A COMMUNITY OUT THERE THAT SUPPORTS ME. 1234 01:06:17,700 --> 01:06:19,600 SO I HAVE TO BE THE BEST ME I CAN BE 1235 01:06:19,600 --> 01:06:21,467 FOR WHEN THEY MAY NEED ME 1236 01:06:21,467 --> 01:06:24,700 AND TO BE ABLE TO GIVE BACK TO THEM. 1237 01:06:29,233 --> 01:06:34,767 SO I'M DONE BEING DOWN AND SULKING ABOUT MY SITUATION, 1238 01:06:34,767 --> 01:06:36,633 AND I'M READY TO TRY AGAIN. 1239 01:06:39,433 --> 01:06:41,633 I'VE MISSED SOME OF MY APPOINTMENTS, 1240 01:06:41,633 --> 01:06:43,533 AND I KNOW I'VE PROBABLY BEEN GAINING AGAIN. 1241 01:06:43,533 --> 01:06:46,767 SO I WANT TO FIX THAT. 1242 01:06:46,767 --> 01:06:48,333 AND I'M MAKING AN APPOINTMENT 1243 01:06:48,333 --> 01:06:50,800 TO GO BACK AND SEE DR. NOW IN A MONTH. 1244 01:06:50,800 --> 01:06:54,833 MY GOAL IS TO LOSE AS MUCH WEIGHT AS POSSIBLE AND TRY 1245 01:06:54,833 --> 01:06:57,800 AND GET MY EXCESS-SKIN-REMOVAL APPROVAL AGAIN. 1246 01:07:00,133 --> 01:07:04,867 BUT JUST LIKE BEFORE, IT'S NOT EASY. 1247 01:07:04,867 --> 01:07:06,733 AND I WORK FIVE AND SIX DAYS A WEEK. 1248 01:07:06,733 --> 01:07:09,500 SOMETIMES, I WORK MORE THAN THAT. 1249 01:07:09,500 --> 01:07:13,633 I'VE WORKED 11 DAYS STRAIGHT, NOT HAD A DAY OFF. 1250 01:07:13,633 --> 01:07:17,467 SO THAT'S STILL MY BIGGEST OBSTACLE... 1251 01:07:19,367 --> 01:07:23,333 BECAUSE WHEN I GET OFF OF WORK I DON'T WANT TO COOK. 1252 01:07:23,333 --> 01:07:27,467 I'M JUST SO TIRED, AND IT'S JUST JUNK TO EAT AT HOME. 1253 01:07:27,467 --> 01:07:32,800 SO IF I WANT TO EAT HEALTHY, MY ONLY OPTION IS TO MAKE IT, 1254 01:07:32,800 --> 01:07:34,933 AND I DON'T FEEL UP TO IT. 1255 01:07:36,967 --> 01:07:40,233 STANDING AT THE STOVE IS THE LAST THING I REALLY WANT TO DO, 1256 01:07:40,233 --> 01:07:42,533 SO I GO FOR SOMETHING CONVENIENT. 1257 01:07:46,267 --> 01:07:48,933 SO MY STRATEGY RIGHT NOW IS TO JUST EAT A LITTLE OF 1258 01:07:48,933 --> 01:07:52,067 WHAT'S HERE AT THE HOUSE, 1259 01:07:52,067 --> 01:07:55,367 AND KEEP MY PORTIONS AS SMALL AS POSSIBLE. 1260 01:07:55,367 --> 01:08:01,400 BUT MY FAMILY DOESN'T CARE ABOUT MY DIETARY NEEDS, 1261 01:08:01,400 --> 01:08:05,200 AND THEY JUST HAVE A LOT OF JUNK AROUND. 1262 01:08:05,200 --> 01:08:06,867 AND SO, THE ONLY LONG-TERM SOLUTION 1263 01:08:06,867 --> 01:08:09,733 IS THAT I HAVE TO MOVE OUT. 1264 01:08:09,733 --> 01:08:14,933 BUT UNTIL I CAN SAVE UP TO DO THAT, I CAN'T JUST AVOID IT ALL. 1265 01:08:14,933 --> 01:08:16,300 I'M AROUND THIS FOOD ALL DAY, 1266 01:08:16,300 --> 01:08:18,467 SO I THINK JUST GIVING IN A LITTLE RIGHT NOW 1267 01:08:18,467 --> 01:08:21,933 AND EATING A TINY BIT WILL HELP ME GET BACK ON TRACK. 1268 01:08:21,933 --> 01:08:23,700 BUT I ONLY HAVE ONE MONTH 1269 01:08:23,700 --> 01:08:26,500 UNTIL MY NEXT APPOINTMENT WITH DR. NOW, 1270 01:08:26,500 --> 01:08:29,533 SO RIGHT NOW MY GOAL IS TO LOSE JUST ENOUGH 1271 01:08:29,533 --> 01:08:32,500 TO GET APPROVED FOR SKIN REMOVAL. 1272 01:08:32,500 --> 01:08:36,067 AND I'M HOPING IF I WORK HARD, THAT I'M ABLE TO DO THAT. 1273 01:08:36,067 --> 01:08:38,500 BECAUSE IF I DON'T AFTER ALL THIS TIME, I'M WORRIED 1274 01:08:38,500 --> 01:08:39,900 DR. NOW MAY EVEN GIVE UP ON ME. 1275 01:08:55,267 --> 01:08:57,633 Chay: I'M BACK TO SEE DR. NOW AGAIN, 1276 01:08:57,633 --> 01:08:59,067 AND IT'S BEEN A WHILE. 1277 01:08:59,067 --> 01:09:03,367 I WAS UP TO 393 BECAUSE I HAD GAINED 15 POUNDS, 1278 01:09:03,367 --> 01:09:05,067 BUT I'VE BEEN WORKING REALLY HARD 1279 01:09:05,067 --> 01:09:07,733 FOR THE PAST TWO MONTHS TO FIX THAT. 1280 01:09:07,733 --> 01:09:11,233 CHAY GUILLORY? 1281 01:09:11,233 --> 01:09:13,833 SO I'M FEELING CONFIDENT I'M BACK ON TRACK, 1282 01:09:13,833 --> 01:09:18,100 BUT I'M NOT SURE HOW MUCH PROGRESS I'M MAKING NOW. 1283 01:09:18,100 --> 01:09:21,633 BUT EITHER WAY, I'M ABOUT TO FIND OUT. 1284 01:09:21,633 --> 01:09:23,300 378. 1285 01:09:23,300 --> 01:09:26,400 THAT'S PRETTY GOOD. 1286 01:09:26,400 --> 01:09:29,833 I'M HAPPY WITH THAT. 1287 01:09:29,833 --> 01:09:32,400 BUT AT THE SAME TIME, I'M BACK TO EXACTLY 1288 01:09:32,400 --> 01:09:34,567 WHAT I WAS EIGHT MONTHS AGO, 1289 01:09:34,567 --> 01:09:38,167 SO IT DOESN'T FEEL LIKE MUCH OF A VICTORY 1290 01:09:38,167 --> 01:09:39,500 EVEN THOUGH I LOST. 1291 01:09:39,500 --> 01:09:42,200 [ KNOCK ON DOOR ] 1292 01:09:42,200 --> 01:09:43,067 HELLO. 1293 01:09:43,067 --> 01:09:44,267 HI THERE, DOC. 1294 01:09:44,267 --> 01:09:45,567 -HOW ARE YOU? -I'M OKAY. 1295 01:09:45,567 --> 01:09:47,500 -HOW 'BOUT YOURSELF? -ALL RIGHT. 1296 01:09:47,500 --> 01:09:49,467 SO, IT'S BEEN ABOUT EIGHT MONTHS 1297 01:09:49,467 --> 01:09:51,500 SINCE THE LAST TIME YOU WERE HERE. 1298 01:09:51,500 --> 01:09:53,533 SO I'M GLAD YOU'RE LOSING THEN, 1299 01:09:53,533 --> 01:09:56,967 BUT YOU'RE NOT EVEN CLOSE TO WHERE YOU SHOULD BE RIGHT NOW. 1300 01:09:56,967 --> 01:09:58,200 SO, WHAT'S GOING ON? 1301 01:09:58,200 --> 01:10:01,333 I'M HUNGRY A LOT MORE. 1302 01:10:01,333 --> 01:10:03,967 DO YOU FEEL THAT HUNGER IS PSYCHOLOGICAL 1303 01:10:03,967 --> 01:10:05,400 OR PHYSICAL HUNGER? 1304 01:10:05,400 --> 01:10:07,133 NO, IT'S PHYSICAL. I FEEL IT. 1305 01:10:07,133 --> 01:10:08,900 I FEEL THE GROWLING IN MY STOMACH. 1306 01:10:08,900 --> 01:10:11,167 SO, HOW OFTEN ARE YOU EATING NOW? 1307 01:10:11,167 --> 01:10:13,567 I TRY TO ONLY EAT ONCE OR TWICE A DAY. 1308 01:10:13,567 --> 01:10:16,500 I'M WORRIED IF I EAT MORE THAN ONCE A DAY 1309 01:10:16,500 --> 01:10:19,833 THAT I'LL EAT TOO MUCH. 1310 01:10:19,833 --> 01:10:22,333 NO, YOU'RE EATING MORE THAN YOU'RE TELLING ME. 1311 01:10:22,333 --> 01:10:24,267 AND YOU'RE NOT ADMITTING TO YOURSELF 1312 01:10:24,267 --> 01:10:26,333 THAT THE ISSUE IS EMOTIONAL. 1313 01:10:26,333 --> 01:10:29,533 NO, I THINK I'VE MESSED UP MY BYPASS SURGERY. 1314 01:10:29,533 --> 01:10:31,667 IT'S JUST I'M HUNGRY ALL THE TIME. 1315 01:10:31,667 --> 01:10:34,667 CAN I BE APPROVED FOR REVISION ON MY BYPASS? 1316 01:10:34,667 --> 01:10:37,333 YOUR BYPASS SURGERY IS FINE. 1317 01:10:37,333 --> 01:10:40,633 IF THERE'S NOTHING WRONG, THEN WE CAN'T REVISE IT, OKAY? 1318 01:10:40,633 --> 01:10:43,333 SO, YOU DON'T NEED THE REVISION. 1319 01:10:43,333 --> 01:10:45,833 YOU NEED TO CONTINUE WITH YOUR THERAPY. 1320 01:10:45,833 --> 01:10:48,433 UNTIL YOU DO THAT, YOU'RE NOT GOING TO LOSE 1321 01:10:48,433 --> 01:10:50,267 WHAT YOU NEED, OKAY? 1322 01:10:50,267 --> 01:10:51,900 YES, SIR. 1323 01:10:51,900 --> 01:10:56,233 I'M GLAD CHAY IS BACK AND READY TO GET BACK ON THE PROGRAM. 1324 01:10:56,233 --> 01:10:57,833 BUT HER WEIGHT LOSS, 1325 01:10:57,833 --> 01:11:01,433 FOR BEING GONE FOR EIGHT MONTHS, IS NEGLIGIBLE, 1326 01:11:01,433 --> 01:11:04,067 AND SHE IS CLEARLY OVEREATING 1327 01:11:04,067 --> 01:11:07,667 AND GIVING ME EVERY EXCUSE IN THE BOOK 1328 01:11:07,667 --> 01:11:09,600 WHEN IT IS VERY SIMPLE. 1329 01:11:09,600 --> 01:11:15,067 THERE ARE UNRESOLVED EMOTIONAL ISSUES DRIVING HER TO OVEREAT. 1330 01:11:15,067 --> 01:11:17,700 AND UNTIL SHE'S READY AND WILLING TO DEAL 1331 01:11:17,700 --> 01:11:19,067 WITH THOSE ISSUES, 1332 01:11:19,067 --> 01:11:22,067 SHE WON'T MAKE MUCH PROGRESS. 1333 01:11:22,067 --> 01:11:24,400 BUT SINCE I'M BACK DOWN TO WHERE I WAS, DO YOU THINK 1334 01:11:24,400 --> 01:11:27,067 I'M READY FOR SKIN-REMOVAL SURGERY AGAIN? 1335 01:11:27,067 --> 01:11:30,833 UNTIL YOU START MAKING YOUR WEIGHT LOSS CONSISTENT, 1336 01:11:30,833 --> 01:11:34,167 I'M NOT CONFIDENT THAT YOU'RE READY FOR SKIN REMOVAL. 1337 01:11:34,167 --> 01:11:35,467 I UNDERSTAND. 1338 01:11:35,467 --> 01:11:38,700 SO YOU HAVE A LOT OF WORK TO DO, BUT YOU CAN DO IT, CHAY. 1339 01:11:38,700 --> 01:11:42,133 YOU JUST HAVE TO FIND YOUR MOTIVATION. 1340 01:11:42,133 --> 01:11:43,833 ALL RIGHT. I'LL SEE YOU SOON. 1341 01:11:43,833 --> 01:11:46,067 ALL RIGHT, DR. NOW. 1342 01:11:49,967 --> 01:11:52,400 Chay: IT WASN'T A BAD DOCTOR'S VISIT. 1343 01:11:52,400 --> 01:11:55,467 IT WASN'T AS POSITIVE AS I THOUGHT IT WAS GOING TO BE, 1344 01:11:55,467 --> 01:11:58,600 BUT IT WASN'T A BAD DOCTOR'S VISIT. 1345 01:11:58,600 --> 01:12:02,167 BUT MY GOAL RIGHT NOW IS TO WORK REALLY HARD TO GET APPROVED 1346 01:12:02,167 --> 01:12:04,900 FOR SKIN-REMOVAL SURGERY AGAIN. 1347 01:12:04,900 --> 01:12:08,300 AND IF I COULD DO THAT SOON, AT LEAST THIS YEAR 1348 01:12:08,300 --> 01:12:10,400 WON'T FEEL LIKE A WASH, 1349 01:12:10,400 --> 01:12:12,300 BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO HAVE SPENT THE WHOLE YEAR 1350 01:12:12,300 --> 01:12:14,267 NOT MAKING ANY PROGRESS. 1351 01:12:27,667 --> 01:12:31,067 Laura: THIS PAST MONTH HAS BEEN EXTREMELY HARD 1352 01:12:31,067 --> 01:12:33,667 AND DISAPPOINTING. 1353 01:12:33,667 --> 01:12:36,600 WE COULDN'T KEEP UP WITH THE RENT ON OUR NEW PLACE, 1354 01:12:36,600 --> 01:12:39,467 AND WE FELL BEHIND. 1355 01:12:39,467 --> 01:12:42,900 SO WE GOT EVICTED, AND THAT WAS REALLY HARD TO TAKE. 1356 01:12:42,900 --> 01:12:50,100 WE WERE HOMELESS, BUT MY SISTER SAID WE CAN COME STAY WITH HER. 1357 01:12:50,100 --> 01:12:52,333 SO I'M BACK LIVING WITH FAMILY. 1358 01:12:55,500 --> 01:12:58,767 AND MY SURGERY GOT POSTPONED BECAUSE MY TOOTH INFECTION 1359 01:12:58,767 --> 01:13:01,067 CAME BACK. 1360 01:13:01,067 --> 01:13:03,700 AND DR. NOW SAID THAT THEY CAN'T DO SURGERY 1361 01:13:03,700 --> 01:13:08,300 ON A PATIENT RECOVERING FROM AN INFECTION. 1362 01:13:08,300 --> 01:13:11,267 SO UNTIL I'M CLEARED FOR SURGERY AGAIN, 1363 01:13:11,267 --> 01:13:13,300 I'M JUST FOCUSING ON EATING HEALTHY 1364 01:13:13,300 --> 01:13:14,633 AND LOSING WEIGHT 1365 01:13:14,633 --> 01:13:17,400 UNTIL I CAN GET MY EXCESS SKIN REMOVED. 1366 01:13:19,967 --> 01:13:24,167 BUT I CAN'T WAIT BECAUSE IT'S GETTING SO PAINFUL, 1367 01:13:24,167 --> 01:13:28,167 AND THE ONLY WAY I CAN EVEN GET AROUND WITH IT RIGHT NOW 1368 01:13:28,167 --> 01:13:31,667 IS THAT I WEAR COMPRESSION GARMENTS. 1369 01:13:31,667 --> 01:13:35,700 BUT HAVING THE SKIN REMOVED IS GOING TO HELP ME 1370 01:13:35,700 --> 01:13:38,567 EMOTIONALLY AND MENTALLY. 1371 01:13:44,900 --> 01:13:47,167 BUT I'M JUST REALLY UNHAPPY RIGHT NOW 1372 01:13:47,167 --> 01:13:49,067 WITH HOW THINGS ARE GOING. 1373 01:13:51,733 --> 01:13:53,267 AND TO MAKE THINGS WORSE, 1374 01:13:53,267 --> 01:13:56,600 JOEY AND ME SEEM TO BE FIGHTING MORE THAN EVER. 1375 01:13:56,600 --> 01:14:00,233 SOMETIMES HE DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT I'M GOING THROUGH. 1376 01:14:00,233 --> 01:14:04,567 HE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND THAT MY BODY'S DIFFERENT. 1377 01:14:04,567 --> 01:14:06,433 EVERYTHING'S ALWAYS MY FAULT. 1378 01:14:06,433 --> 01:14:07,967 WE FIGHT A LOT 1379 01:14:07,967 --> 01:14:13,267 BECAUSE WE'RE BOTH IN TWO DIFFERENT WORLDS NOW. 1380 01:14:13,267 --> 01:14:16,533 AND I WANT TO KEEP BECOMING MORE INDEPENDENT AND GET A JOB 1381 01:14:16,533 --> 01:14:18,167 AND HAVE A CAREER. 1382 01:14:18,167 --> 01:14:20,400 HE DOESN'T WANT ME TO DO THAT. 1383 01:14:23,833 --> 01:14:25,967 I TOLD HIM I WANT TO GO TO BEAUTY SCHOOL, 1384 01:14:25,967 --> 01:14:29,067 AND HE GOT REALLY UPSET. 1385 01:14:29,067 --> 01:14:31,067 BUT NOW THAT I CAN GO OUT, 1386 01:14:31,067 --> 01:14:33,933 I DON'T WANT TO JUST STAY HOME ALL DAY. 1387 01:14:33,933 --> 01:14:39,633 I'M NOT 600 POUNDS ANYMORE, SO I DON'T NEED TO BE TRAPPED. 1388 01:14:39,633 --> 01:14:42,400 BUT IT'S GOTTEN SO BAD THAT I DON'T THINK THAT 1389 01:14:42,400 --> 01:14:45,900 THERE'S A WHOLE LOT OF HOPE FOR US RIGHT NOW. 1390 01:14:48,233 --> 01:14:50,900 WHAT DO YOU SEE IN OUR FUTURE? 1391 01:14:55,867 --> 01:14:57,300 WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU? 1392 01:14:57,300 --> 01:14:58,733 NOTHING. 1393 01:14:58,733 --> 01:15:00,133 WHY DO YOU ACT LIKE THAT 1394 01:15:00,133 --> 01:15:03,400 BUT YOU DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT ANYTHING? 1395 01:15:03,400 --> 01:15:05,833 ALL THE THINGS THAT WE'VE BEEN THROUGH, YOU KNOW? 1396 01:15:05,833 --> 01:15:07,567 [BLEEP] THAT WE'VE BEEN THROUGH, 1397 01:15:07,567 --> 01:15:08,867 THAT WE'VE BEEN HOMELESS AND ALL THAT. 1398 01:15:10,067 --> 01:15:11,300 NO, BUT WE WERE. 1399 01:15:16,300 --> 01:15:19,067 IN THE LAST YEAR, WHAT WE'VE BEEN THROUGH -- 1400 01:15:19,067 --> 01:15:20,333 I'M TIRED OF THIS [BLEEP] 1401 01:15:20,333 --> 01:15:21,700 WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? 1402 01:15:21,700 --> 01:15:23,667 I'M OVER HERE MAKING FOOD FOR YOU. 1403 01:15:23,667 --> 01:15:24,967 -OKAY, I LOVE THE FOOD! -NO. 1404 01:15:24,967 --> 01:15:27,233 I'M TALKING ABOUT THE BAD THINGS THAT WE'VE BEEN THROUGH 1405 01:15:27,233 --> 01:15:28,267 IN THE LAST YEAR. 1406 01:15:28,267 --> 01:15:30,200 ALL RIGHT. YEAH, WE'VE HAD ROUGH TIMES. 1407 01:15:30,200 --> 01:15:31,667 YES. 1408 01:15:31,667 --> 01:15:32,667 I'VE BEEN SICK. 1409 01:15:32,667 --> 01:15:34,200 YES, YOU WERE SICK, MY LOVE. 1410 01:15:34,200 --> 01:15:36,300 [ SCOFFS ] YOU DON'T -- YOU DON'T TALK. 1411 01:15:36,300 --> 01:15:37,567 YES, BUT YOU -- 1412 01:15:37,567 --> 01:15:39,900 YOU'RE NOT SAYING ANYTHING. YOU'RE NOT SAYING ANYTHING. 1413 01:15:39,900 --> 01:15:40,933 YES, I AM SAYING STUFF, 1414 01:15:40,933 --> 01:15:42,333 BUT I'M NOT SAYING THAT WE'RE HOMELESS. 1415 01:15:42,333 --> 01:15:43,733 OKAY, WELL, SCRATCH THE HOMELESS. 1416 01:15:43,733 --> 01:15:45,867 WHAT I'M SAYING IS YOU HAVE TO SAY SOMETHING. 1417 01:15:47,067 --> 01:15:49,067 POOR? WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 1418 01:15:49,067 --> 01:15:50,867 WE HAVE FAMILY. 1419 01:15:50,867 --> 01:15:53,700 I'M NOT -- I'M TALKING ABOUT WHAT WE'VE BEEN THROUGH. 1420 01:15:53,700 --> 01:15:55,267 YEAH, WE BEEN THROUGH A LOT OF [BLEEP] 1421 01:15:55,267 --> 01:15:57,067 OKAY, THAT'S WHAT WE'RE -- THAT'S WHAT -- 1422 01:15:57,067 --> 01:15:58,433 I KNOW. I'M TELLING YOU THAT. 1423 01:15:58,433 --> 01:16:00,333 YES, WE HAVE BEEN THROUGH A LOT OF STUFF. 1424 01:16:02,867 --> 01:16:05,233 Joey: IT'S BASICALLY LIKE I'M TRYING TO RELEARN 1425 01:16:05,233 --> 01:16:07,400 HOW TO BE WITH THIS NEW PERSON. 1426 01:16:07,400 --> 01:16:09,267 IT'S, LIKE, SHE GETS MAD FOR EVERYTHING 1427 01:16:09,267 --> 01:16:11,567 AND IT'S, LIKE, NOT EVEN ANYTHING TO GET MAD ABOUT. 1428 01:16:11,567 --> 01:16:13,733 AND I'M LIKE, "COME ON, WE DON'T NEED TO BE ARGUING FOR THIS." 1429 01:16:13,733 --> 01:16:17,800 WE SAY OKAY, AND THEN WE JUST ARGUE ABOUT ANOTHER DUMB THING. 1430 01:16:17,800 --> 01:16:19,200 SHE SAYS THAT I DON'T UNDERSTAND 1431 01:16:19,200 --> 01:16:21,400 AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT SHE GOES THROUGH, 1432 01:16:21,400 --> 01:16:23,300 BUT I'VE BEEN WITH HER FOR LIKE 15 YEARS 1433 01:16:23,300 --> 01:16:24,667 AND I KNOW WHAT SHE GOES THROUGH. 1434 01:16:24,667 --> 01:16:27,067 I FEEL THE SAME PAIN SHE DOES. 1435 01:16:27,067 --> 01:16:29,567 WE'RE GOING TO LOSE EACH OTHER FOR JUST AN ARGUMENT. 1436 01:16:29,567 --> 01:16:32,733 THAT'S NOT EVEN WORTH IT. 1437 01:16:32,733 --> 01:16:34,800 I WANT MY WIFE TO BE HAPPY. 1438 01:16:40,900 --> 01:16:42,633 AND I DON'T MAKE HER HAPPY. 1439 01:16:46,267 --> 01:16:48,133 Laura: MAYBE WE'RE NOT MEANT FOR EACH OTHER. 1440 01:16:48,133 --> 01:16:51,067 HE THINKS THAT I'M THE ONE THAT'S CHANGED, BUT I HAVEN'T. 1441 01:16:51,067 --> 01:16:53,200 IT'S JUST THAT HE LOOKS AT ME DIFFERENT 1442 01:16:53,200 --> 01:16:56,833 BECAUSE I LOOK DIFFERENT. 1443 01:16:56,833 --> 01:17:00,733 I DON'T SEE A LONG TERM. 1444 01:17:00,733 --> 01:17:04,067 [ Crying ] I NEED HIM TO HELP ME. 1445 01:17:04,067 --> 01:17:07,600 I DON'T NEED PHYSICAL HELP. I NEED EMOTIONAL. 1446 01:17:07,600 --> 01:17:12,433 AND TALK TO ME, COMMUNICATION. 1447 01:17:12,433 --> 01:17:16,667 I FEEL LONELY AND I DON'T HAVE ANYBODY TO TALK TO. 1448 01:17:35,533 --> 01:17:37,933 Chay: I'VE BEEN WORKING ON A PLAN TO GET ME BACK ON TRACK, 1449 01:17:37,933 --> 01:17:40,900 SO I'VE MADE A GOAL CHART. 1450 01:17:40,900 --> 01:17:43,167 A GOAL CHART IS JUST A VISUALIZATION 1451 01:17:43,167 --> 01:17:44,533 OF THE THINGS YOU WANT TO HAPPEN 1452 01:17:44,533 --> 01:17:48,833 THAT YOU'RE TRYING TO MANIFEST IN YOUR LIFE. 1453 01:17:48,833 --> 01:17:51,067 WEIGHT LOSS IS THE CENTER OF IT, 1454 01:17:51,067 --> 01:17:55,300 AND FOR THAT TO HAPPEN THE OTHER THREE ASPECTS HAVE TO HAPPEN -- 1455 01:17:55,300 --> 01:17:58,433 EXERCISE, DIET, SKIN REMOVAL. 1456 01:18:01,633 --> 01:18:06,367 BUT THE ONE PART OF THE PROCESS I'M DREADING IS THE EXERCISE. 1457 01:18:06,367 --> 01:18:09,100 BUT READY OR NOT, I'M STARTING IT TOMORROW MORNING. 1458 01:18:12,467 --> 01:18:14,567 IT'S TIME I GET MORE SERIOUS ABOUT MY LIFE CHANGE, 1459 01:18:14,567 --> 01:18:16,767 WHETHER I LIKE IT OR NOT. 1460 01:18:20,633 --> 01:18:23,600 TODAY, I'M HEADED TO THE GYM TO WORK OUT. 1461 01:18:23,600 --> 01:18:25,933 AND I'M HOPING THAT THIS WILL BE 1462 01:18:25,933 --> 01:18:29,633 WHAT I NEED TO GET ME BACK GOING IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION. 1463 01:18:29,633 --> 01:18:34,133 BUT I HATE THE GYM. 1464 01:18:34,133 --> 01:18:37,167 THE GYM IS THE DEVIL. 1465 01:18:40,567 --> 01:18:43,133 I HAVE A LOT OF WORK TO DO AND A SHORT TIME TO DO IT IN, 1466 01:18:43,133 --> 01:18:48,100 SO I HAVE TO GET MOTIVATED. 1467 01:18:48,100 --> 01:18:52,600 BUT THAT IS NOT MY FORTE, SO THE ONLY WAY I'M GOING TO DO THIS 1468 01:18:52,600 --> 01:18:55,167 AND STICK TO IT IS I HAVE A PERSONAL TRAINER. 1469 01:18:55,167 --> 01:18:55,900 HI, THERE. 1470 01:18:55,900 --> 01:18:57,067 GOOD MORNING. 1471 01:18:57,067 --> 01:18:57,767 I'M CHAY. 1472 01:18:57,767 --> 01:18:58,733 MY NAME IS BRITANY. 1473 01:18:58,733 --> 01:19:00,067 IT'S NICE TO MEET YOU. 1474 01:19:00,067 --> 01:19:01,100 YOU, TOO. 1475 01:19:01,100 --> 01:19:02,533 SO, ARE YOU READY TO GO GET STARTED? 1476 01:19:02,533 --> 01:19:03,700 AS READY AS I'LL EVER BE. 1477 01:19:03,700 --> 01:19:04,533 OKAY. 1478 01:19:04,533 --> 01:19:05,867 YOU CAN START RIGHT HERE. 1479 01:19:05,867 --> 01:19:07,933 SO, YOU CAN BRING IT UP AS MUCH AS YOU WANT 1480 01:19:07,933 --> 01:19:09,067 FOR YOUR INTENSITY. 1481 01:19:09,067 --> 01:19:11,133 YOU'LL BE DONE WITH THIS IN NO TIME. 1482 01:19:11,133 --> 01:19:12,667 YEAH, 'CAUSE I'M GONNA BE DEAD. 1483 01:19:12,667 --> 01:19:13,767 NO, YOU WON'T. 1484 01:19:13,767 --> 01:19:16,467 [ LAUGHS ] 1485 01:19:16,467 --> 01:19:20,067 I KNOW I HAVEN'T BEEN APPLYING MYSELF LIKE I SHOULD, 1486 01:19:20,067 --> 01:19:21,800 AND I HAVE TO CHANGE THAT. 1487 01:19:21,800 --> 01:19:25,400 BUT I KNOW I CAN GET THERE AND GET MY NEXT SKIN REMOVAL 1488 01:19:25,400 --> 01:19:29,600 AND KEEP GOING FROM THERE UNTIL I GET TO MY TARGET. 1489 01:19:29,600 --> 01:19:32,867 AND I MAY NOT HAVE MADE A LOT OF PROGRESS PHYSICALLY, 1490 01:19:32,867 --> 01:19:35,167 BUT I DO FEEL LIKE I'VE MADE A LOT OF PROGRESS 1491 01:19:35,167 --> 01:19:39,367 WITH MY EMOTIONS AND MY SOCIAL ANXIETY. 1492 01:19:39,367 --> 01:19:41,500 AND I DON'T FEEL AS LONELY AS I DID, 1493 01:19:41,500 --> 01:19:45,600 BECAUSE I KNOW I'M CONNECTED TO A COMMUNITY OUT THERE 1494 01:19:45,600 --> 01:19:49,167 THAT CARES ABOUT ME REGARDLESS OF WHERE I AM. 1495 01:19:49,167 --> 01:19:51,833 AND JUST REALIZING THEY'RE OUT THERE HAS HELPED ME SOME, 1496 01:19:51,833 --> 01:19:54,400 IN A WEIRD WAY. 1497 01:19:54,400 --> 01:19:56,433 I CHEATED ON THAT LAST ONE, BUT I COULDN'T HELP IT. 1498 01:19:56,433 --> 01:19:58,633 IT'S OKAY. YOU STILL DID IT. 1499 01:20:03,200 --> 01:20:06,100 ONE BIG THING I'M TAKING A LEAP AND DOING IS MOVING OUT 1500 01:20:06,100 --> 01:20:08,400 AND GETTING A PLACE OF MY OWN. 1501 01:20:08,400 --> 01:20:10,267 I FOUND THE HOUSE BECAUSE IT'S RIGHT ACROSS THE STREET 1502 01:20:10,267 --> 01:20:16,067 FROM MY MOM IN THE SAME, LIKE, LITTLE COMPLEX. 1503 01:20:16,067 --> 01:20:17,267 AND SHE'S LIKE, "HEY, IT'S FOR RENT. 1504 01:20:17,267 --> 01:20:18,133 COME LOOK AT IT." 1505 01:20:18,133 --> 01:20:20,833 AND THAT'S HOW I FOUND IT. 1506 01:20:20,833 --> 01:20:23,800 IT'S NOT MUCH, BUT AT LEAST I'M ON MY OWN AND IN A PLACE 1507 01:20:23,800 --> 01:20:26,300 WHERE I CAN PREVENT THE TEMPTATION ALL AROUND ME. 1508 01:20:32,733 --> 01:20:35,867 BUT THE CHANGE THAT I'VE MADE THAT I'M MOST EXCITED ABOUT 1509 01:20:35,867 --> 01:20:37,267 IS THAT I'VE AUDITIONED FOR A PLAY, 1510 01:20:37,267 --> 01:20:39,933 AND I'VE GOT A LEAD PART. 1511 01:20:39,933 --> 01:20:43,067 I PUT MYSELF OUT THERE AND HAD DISCOVERED ACTING. 1512 01:20:43,067 --> 01:20:46,733 I GOT TO GO BACKSTAGE AND TRANSFORM. 1513 01:20:46,733 --> 01:20:49,833 I'VE BEEN HELPING OUT AT THE THEATER FOR A LONG TIME, 1514 01:20:49,833 --> 01:20:53,533 BUT I'VE NEVER HAD THE COURAGE TO TRY OUT FOR ANYTHING BIG. 1515 01:20:53,533 --> 01:20:57,067 AND I DECIDED TO JUST GO FOR IT AND SEE WHAT HAPPENED. 1516 01:20:57,067 --> 01:21:01,233 I'M JUST GETTING MY FEET WET, BUT I LOVE IT. 1517 01:21:01,233 --> 01:21:02,833 I'M PLAYING A WOMAN NAMED CLAIREE, 1518 01:21:02,833 --> 01:21:05,233 AND EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS CHARACTER SPEAKS TO ME. 1519 01:21:05,233 --> 01:21:06,367 SHE IS ME. 1520 01:21:06,367 --> 01:21:08,600 I'M AN OLD LADY, AND SO IS SHE. 1521 01:21:08,600 --> 01:21:11,667 MORNING, TRUVY. 1522 01:21:11,667 --> 01:21:14,800 I FEEL LIKE I'M MAKING PROGRESS, 1523 01:21:14,800 --> 01:21:17,333 AND SO I'M PLANNING ON GOING TO BE DR. NOW 1524 01:21:17,333 --> 01:21:19,967 IN A COUPLE WEEKS, THEN SHOW HIM MY WEIGHT LOSS 1525 01:21:19,967 --> 01:21:22,933 AND GET APPROVED FOR SKIN REMOVAL AGAIN. 1526 01:21:22,933 --> 01:21:25,767 SO I'M WORKING HARD FOR THAT. 1527 01:21:25,767 --> 01:21:27,333 I'M GOING TO START THIS NEXT YEAR OFF RIGHT, 1528 01:21:27,333 --> 01:21:30,700 AND BY DOING WHAT I FAILED TO DO THIS PAST YEAR. 1529 01:21:30,700 --> 01:21:33,467 RIGHT NOW, I'M MORE MOTIVATED AND DEDICATED 1530 01:21:33,467 --> 01:21:36,233 TO WHAT I NEED TO DO THAN EVER. 1531 01:21:36,233 --> 01:21:40,367 I KNOW I HAVE A LONG WAY TO GO AND A LOT OF WORK AHEAD OF ME. 1532 01:21:40,367 --> 01:21:44,500 BUT RIGHT NOW, I'M EXCITED ABOUT THE JOURNEY AGAIN. 1533 01:21:44,500 --> 01:21:47,767 AND THAT MAKES ME EXCITED ABOUT WHAT'S TO COME, 1534 01:21:47,767 --> 01:21:49,633 AND I'M ACTUALLY FEELING HAPPY. 1535 01:21:58,400 --> 01:22:01,900 Lauren: I TOLD JOEY THAT I WANTED TO START BEAUTY SCHOOL 1536 01:22:01,900 --> 01:22:04,267 TO BECOME A MAKEUP SPECIALIST. 1537 01:22:06,300 --> 01:22:08,833 AND JOEY WAS ADAMANTLY AGAINST IT. 1538 01:22:08,833 --> 01:22:12,833 BUT I'VE JUST DECIDED THIS IS WHAT I WANT AND I'M DOING IT, 1539 01:22:12,833 --> 01:22:15,600 SO I TOLD HIM HE CAN DEAL WITH IT. 1540 01:22:15,600 --> 01:22:16,600 -HI! -HI. 1541 01:22:16,600 --> 01:22:18,500 EVELYN. GOOD TO MEET YOU. 1542 01:22:18,500 --> 01:22:19,533 I'M LAURA PEREZ. 1543 01:22:19,533 --> 01:22:21,133 COME ON IN. HOW ARE YOU TODAY? 1544 01:22:21,133 --> 01:22:22,933 -GREAT. -GREAT! 1545 01:22:22,933 --> 01:22:27,700 Laura: I'M NOT GOING TO KEEP LIVING DEPENDENT ON ANYONE, 1546 01:22:27,700 --> 01:22:31,167 AND I'M READY TO START DOING EVERYTHING I WANT. 1547 01:22:32,867 --> 01:22:34,867 DR. NOW SAYS THAT MY SYSTEM 1548 01:22:34,867 --> 01:22:37,900 IS STILL RECOVERING FROM THE INFECTION, 1549 01:22:37,900 --> 01:22:40,833 BUT THAT I SHOULD BE READY FOR MY SKIN REMOVAL 1550 01:22:40,833 --> 01:22:42,733 IN THREE TO FOUR WEEKS. 1551 01:22:42,733 --> 01:22:45,500 SO, I'M JUST NOT SITTING AROUND UNTIL THEN 1552 01:22:45,500 --> 01:22:47,400 BECAUSE ONCE I HAVE IT, 1553 01:22:47,400 --> 01:22:50,400 IT WILL PUT ME OUT FOR A COUPLE OF MONTHS. 1554 01:22:50,400 --> 01:22:55,067 SO, I'M EXCITED TO FIND OUT WHAT I CAN DO TO START MY CAREER. 1555 01:22:55,067 --> 01:22:58,100 SO, TELL ME, WHAT IS IT THAT REALLY DRAWS YOU TO THIS FIELD? 1556 01:22:58,100 --> 01:23:00,900 I LIKE MAKING PEOPLE FEEL BEAUTIFUL. 1557 01:23:00,900 --> 01:23:02,567 BEAUTIFUL, YEAH. 1558 01:23:02,567 --> 01:23:03,667 WELL, YOU HAVE A GREAT STORY. 1559 01:23:03,667 --> 01:23:05,333 I THINK WITH YOUR STORY, YOU WOULD BE ABLE 1560 01:23:05,333 --> 01:23:06,767 TO RELATE TO PEOPLE. 1561 01:23:06,767 --> 01:23:07,900 SO, THIS, AGAIN, 1562 01:23:07,900 --> 01:23:10,633 SO, WE DO HAVE THE ABILITY TO QUALIFY YOU 1563 01:23:10,633 --> 01:23:12,500 FOR, UH, FEDERAL FUNDS. 1564 01:23:12,500 --> 01:23:14,533 AND IT'S A COURSE OF ABOUT SIX MONTHS. 1565 01:23:14,533 --> 01:23:17,400 WE CAN GET YOU IN AND REALLY GET YOU STARTED ON A NEW CAREER. 1566 01:23:17,400 --> 01:23:18,600 THANK YOU. 1567 01:23:18,600 --> 01:23:20,767 THANK YOU SO MUCH, LAURA. YOU HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY. 1568 01:23:20,767 --> 01:23:21,933 IT WAS AN ABSOLUTE PLEASURE MEETING YOU. 1569 01:23:21,933 --> 01:23:23,700 -IT WAS NICE TO MEET YOU. -THANK YOU SO MUCH. 1570 01:23:27,167 --> 01:23:31,133 I'M SO EXCITED RIGHT NOW BECAUSE COMING HERE, 1571 01:23:31,133 --> 01:23:34,733 I WASN'T REALLY SURE IF I WAS GOING TO BE ABLE TO DO THIS 1572 01:23:34,733 --> 01:23:37,267 BECAUSE OF THE MONEY AND TIMING. 1573 01:23:37,267 --> 01:23:38,700 BUT THIS IS PERFECT. 1574 01:23:38,700 --> 01:23:41,300 SO I'M REALLY HAPPY RIGHT NOW 1575 01:23:41,300 --> 01:23:44,667 ABOUT ALL THE WAYS MY LIFE IS CHANGING. 1576 01:23:51,133 --> 01:23:52,933 HI, LAURA. I'M STEPHANIE. 1577 01:23:52,933 --> 01:23:54,367 -NICE TO MEET YOU. -NICE TO MEET YOU. 1578 01:23:54,367 --> 01:23:55,500 WHY DON'T YOU COME ON BACK? 1579 01:23:55,500 --> 01:23:58,467 RIGHT THIS WAY. 1580 01:23:58,467 --> 01:24:01,300 WITH ALL THE TROUBLE BETWEEN ME AND JOEY, 1581 01:24:01,300 --> 01:24:05,400 I DON'T WANT MY EMOTIONS TO SEND ME RUNNING BACK TO FOOD, 1582 01:24:05,400 --> 01:24:07,600 SO I'M GOING TO THERAPY EVERY OTHER WEEK. 1583 01:24:07,600 --> 01:24:11,467 I THINK YOU'VE GOT TO CONTINUE TO LEAN INTO SEEING YOURSELF 1584 01:24:11,467 --> 01:24:15,067 AS MORE THAN JUST WHAT YOUR BODY IMAGE IS, OKAY? 1585 01:24:15,067 --> 01:24:16,067 DOES THAT SOUND ALL RIGHT? 1586 01:24:16,067 --> 01:24:17,600 -SOUNDS GREAT. -OKAY, GOOD. 1587 01:24:17,600 --> 01:24:21,967 Laura: SO, I'M WORKING ON ME RIGHT NOW TO GET READY 1588 01:24:21,967 --> 01:24:23,733 FOR SOME HARD MONTHS AHEAD. 1589 01:24:26,300 --> 01:24:29,500 AND THE QUESTION IS IF JOEY CAN GET TO KNOW 1590 01:24:29,500 --> 01:24:32,733 AND LOVE ME LIKE THIS. 1591 01:24:32,733 --> 01:24:34,333 BECAUSE I DO LOVE HIM, 1592 01:24:34,333 --> 01:24:36,767 BUT IF HE CAN'T ACCEPT ME MAKING THE CHANGES 1593 01:24:36,767 --> 01:24:40,067 I WANT IN MY LIFE, 1594 01:24:40,067 --> 01:24:43,467 THEN I CAN'T BE WITH HIM ANYMORE. 1595 01:24:43,467 --> 01:24:47,767 HE CAN'T CONTROL ME OR TELL ME I CAN'T HAVE A SAY IN THINGS. 1596 01:24:50,300 --> 01:24:52,833 THAT'S NOT THE PERSON I AM ANYMORE, 1597 01:24:52,833 --> 01:24:55,600 BECAUSE I'M NOT TRAPPED IN A CHAIR 1598 01:24:55,600 --> 01:24:58,333 OR MY BED ALL DAY LIKE I WAS. 1599 01:24:58,333 --> 01:25:03,767 SO I KNOW THESE NEXT FEW MONTHS AREN'T GOING TO BE EASY, 1600 01:25:03,767 --> 01:25:05,400 AND I'M SETTING MYSELF UP 1601 01:25:05,400 --> 01:25:09,100 TO BE READY FOR WHATEVER HAPPENS. 1602 01:25:09,100 --> 01:25:11,100 IN A MONTH AFTER MY SKIN REMOVAL, 1603 01:25:11,100 --> 01:25:15,867 MY WEIGHT-LOSS JOURNEY WILL BE CLOSE TO BEING OVER, 1604 01:25:15,867 --> 01:25:18,733 AND I CAN'T WAIT FOR THAT. 1605 01:25:18,733 --> 01:25:23,133 I'VE WORKED HARD TO GET HERE, AND I'M READY TO BE 1606 01:25:23,133 --> 01:25:25,300 WHO I'VE WANTED TO BE 1607 01:25:25,300 --> 01:25:28,933 AND TO GET OUT IN THE WORLD AND SEE WHAT I'M CAPABLE OF. 1608 01:25:28,933 --> 01:25:31,933 AND NOTHING'S GOING TO STOP ME FROM DOING THAT, NO MATTER WHAT. 1608 01:25:32,305 --> 01:26:32,250