"My 600-lb Life: Where Are They Now?" Melissa Morris

1 00:00:02,896 --> 00:00:06,655 ♪♪ 2 00:00:06,655 --> 00:00:08,413 Milla: I CAN'T EVEN TAKE CARE OF MYSELF. 3 00:00:08,413 --> 00:00:10,862 MY CHILDREN HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING FOR ME. 4 00:00:10,862 --> 00:00:13,413 Charity: I FEEL LIKE SOME MONSTER. 5 00:00:13,413 --> 00:00:16,206 Nikki: I'M IN SO MUCH PAIN. 6 00:00:16,206 --> 00:00:18,827 [ Crying ] IT'S MISERABLE. 7 00:00:18,827 --> 00:00:22,724 Brittani: MY BODY IS THE MOST DISGUSTING THING IN THE WORLD. 8 00:00:22,724 --> 00:00:25,137 ♪♪ 9 00:00:25,137 --> 00:00:26,793 Woman: I'M TERRIFIED RIGHT NOW. 10 00:00:26,793 --> 00:00:30,413 June: I'M RISKING MY LIFE FOR A BETTER LIFE. 11 00:00:30,413 --> 00:00:33,000 I LOVE YOU, MOMMY. 12 00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:38,379 ♪♪ 13 00:00:38,379 --> 00:00:43,793 ♪♪ 14 00:00:43,793 --> 00:00:46,206 -OOH, CHILD! -PULL. GOOD. THERE YOU GO! 15 00:00:46,206 --> 00:00:47,344 GOOD JOB. 16 00:00:47,344 --> 00:00:48,517 Teretha: I'M GETTING STRONGER, 17 00:00:48,517 --> 00:00:50,758 BUT I KNOW I HAVE A LONG WAY TO GO. 18 00:00:50,758 --> 00:00:53,655 Paula: I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE WHAT THE FUTURE HOLDS. 19 00:00:53,655 --> 00:00:57,586 ♪♪ 20 00:00:57,586 --> 00:01:02,275 Susan: I AM NOW EXPRESSING MYSELF AND LIVING MY OWN TRUTH. 21 00:01:02,275 --> 00:01:04,310 Milla: I'M SO HAPPY ABOUT THE PROGRESS I'VE MADE. 22 00:01:04,310 --> 00:01:08,689 June: I AM LIVING LIFE, AND I'M LOVING EVERY SECOND OF IT. 23 00:01:08,689 --> 00:01:10,827 ♪♪ 24 00:01:10,827 --> 00:01:12,793 I'M GOING TO KEEP GOING. 25 00:01:12,793 --> 00:01:15,517 I HAVE TO TAKE BACK CONTROL OF MY LIFE. 26 00:01:15,517 --> 00:01:18,068 --Captions by VITAC-- www.vitac.com 27 00:01:18,068 --> 00:01:20,586 CAPTIONS PAID FOR BY DISCOVERY COMMUNICATIONS 28 00:01:20,586 --> 00:01:22,344 IT'S NOT LIKE I SET OUT TO SAY, 29 00:01:22,344 --> 00:01:25,758 "OOH, I WANT TO GROW UP TO BE THE WORLD'S BIGGEST LADY. 30 00:01:25,758 --> 00:01:28,793 I WANT TO BE 700 POUNDS." 31 00:01:28,793 --> 00:01:31,275 IT JUST HAPPENED. 32 00:01:31,275 --> 00:01:33,034 AND I DON'T CARE WHAT ANYBODY SAYS. 33 00:01:33,034 --> 00:01:36,862 ONCE YOU GET ADDICTED TO FOOD, YOU CAN'T STOP. 34 00:01:36,862 --> 00:01:41,655 ♪♪ 35 00:01:41,655 --> 00:01:44,827 I HAVE TO RELY ON CHRIS FOR EVERYTHING. 36 00:01:44,827 --> 00:01:47,275 AND THAT'S NOT HOW IT SHOULD BE. 37 00:01:47,275 --> 00:01:50,862 Chris: ME, BEING A HUSBAND AND WANTING TO GIVE HER 38 00:01:50,862 --> 00:01:55,586 WHAT SHE WANTS, I BECAME HER ENABLER AND HER CARETAKER. 39 00:01:55,586 --> 00:01:57,448 Melissa: WHAT EVERYBODY TAKES FOR GRANTED EVERY DAY, 40 00:01:57,448 --> 00:01:59,137 I CAN'T DO. 41 00:01:59,137 --> 00:02:03,310 IT'S AWFUL TO REALIZE WHAT I HAVE DONE TO MYSELF. 42 00:02:03,310 --> 00:02:09,896 ♪♪ 43 00:02:09,896 --> 00:02:13,241 PATIENTS THAT ARE EXTREMELY OVERWEIGHT -- 44 00:02:13,241 --> 00:02:16,965 THEY HAVE A HIGH RISK DURING ANESTHESIA. 45 00:02:16,965 --> 00:02:20,655 ANY MOMENT, THEY CAN HAVE A CARDIAC OR RESPIRATORY EVENT 46 00:02:20,655 --> 00:02:23,517 THAT WILL TERMINATE THEIR LIFE. 47 00:02:23,517 --> 00:02:24,793 Melissa: I FIGURE I GOT TWO CHOICES. 48 00:02:24,793 --> 00:02:27,034 I CAN EITHER DIE ON THE OPERATING TABLE 49 00:02:27,034 --> 00:02:28,896 TRYING TO GET HEALTHY, 50 00:02:28,896 --> 00:02:32,413 OR I CAN DIE BECAUSE I'M 645 POUNDS. 51 00:02:32,413 --> 00:02:35,551 Dr. Nowzaradan: MELISSA DID WELL DURING THE GASTRIC BYPASS. 52 00:02:35,551 --> 00:02:37,896 HER SURGERY WENT VERY WELL. 53 00:02:37,896 --> 00:02:43,103 ♪♪ 54 00:02:43,103 --> 00:02:46,068 IT'S FUNNY HOW YOUR WHOLE LIFE CHANGES. 55 00:02:46,068 --> 00:02:49,551 LOOK! I CAN GO UP AND DOWN THE STEPS WITH NO HANDS! 56 00:02:49,551 --> 00:02:51,655 IT'S LIKE BEING FREE. 57 00:02:51,655 --> 00:02:52,862 SEE? WATCH OUT FOR THIS TURN. 58 00:02:52,862 --> 00:02:54,620 IT'S LIKE YOU'VE BEEN TRAPPED IN JAIL, 59 00:02:54,620 --> 00:02:57,206 AND FINALLY, FOR ONCE, YOU'RE FREE. 60 00:02:57,206 --> 00:02:58,689 IT WAS AN ADJUSTMENT FOR ME 61 00:02:58,689 --> 00:03:01,931 HAVING TO LET GO OF THAT CARETAKER ROLE 62 00:03:01,931 --> 00:03:06,689 BECAUSE I HAD BEEN DOING IT FOR THE BETTER PART OF SIX YEARS. 63 00:03:06,689 --> 00:03:13,000 ♪♪ 64 00:03:13,000 --> 00:03:16,896 Melissa: I'VE LOST 210 POUNDS, BUT I'M STILL FAT. 65 00:03:16,896 --> 00:03:19,379 SEE THIS? 66 00:03:20,551 --> 00:03:22,896 THAT ABSOLUTELY GROSSES ME OUT. 67 00:03:22,896 --> 00:03:25,758 THIS IS ONE OF THE THINGS I CAN'T WAIT FOR HIM TO REMOVE, 68 00:03:25,758 --> 00:03:28,000 BUT IT'S EMBARRASSING, AT THE SAME TIME, TO SHOW YOU. 69 00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:32,551 IT'S JUST A FAT PACK OF SKIN AND FAT. 70 00:03:32,551 --> 00:03:34,482 ISN'T THAT DISGUSTING? 71 00:03:34,482 --> 00:03:39,310 SO, HE'S GOING TO REMOVE THE FAT PACK AND THEN SOME STOMACH SKIN. 72 00:03:39,310 --> 00:03:41,137 I CANNOT WAIT. 73 00:03:41,137 --> 00:03:42,620 WHAT IS THAT SAYING? 74 00:03:42,620 --> 00:03:45,034 "NO PAIN, NO GAIN"? 75 00:03:45,034 --> 00:03:48,448 IN MY CASE, NO PAIN, NO LOSS. 76 00:03:48,448 --> 00:03:51,586 Man: SO, 6 HOURS TO GET OFF 60 POUNDS. 77 00:03:55,275 --> 00:03:58,448 Melissa: THE LAST TIME THAT I HAD A PAIR OF BLUE JEANS ON 78 00:03:58,448 --> 00:04:00,586 WAS APRIL 1, 1999. 79 00:04:00,586 --> 00:04:02,551 OH, MY GOSH. 80 00:04:02,551 --> 00:04:05,310 THEY FIT! 81 00:04:05,310 --> 00:04:07,275 I'VE GOT JEANS ON. 82 00:04:07,275 --> 00:04:09,551 I FEEL LIKE I'M STARTING A WHOLE NEW LIFE. 83 00:04:09,551 --> 00:04:12,482 THE FIRST TIME I WEIGHED IN AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE, 84 00:04:12,482 --> 00:04:16,000 I WEIGHED IN AT 653 POUNDS. 85 00:04:18,241 --> 00:04:22,172 Chris: I TOLD YOU. I TOLD YOU. 86 00:04:22,172 --> 00:04:24,379 YOU'RE DOING GREAT. 87 00:04:24,379 --> 00:04:26,862 I'VE BEEN TELLING YOU ALL WEEK. 88 00:04:26,862 --> 00:04:30,172 IT'S LIKE I'M HALF THE WOMAN I USED TO BE. 89 00:04:30,172 --> 00:04:36,275 ♪♪ 90 00:04:36,275 --> 00:04:40,517 Dr. Nowzaradan: YOU PROBABLY HAVE 50 TO 60 POUNDS 91 00:04:40,517 --> 00:04:42,655 OF EXTRA SKIN. 92 00:04:42,655 --> 00:04:44,482 Melissa: ALL MY LIFE, I'VE BEEN FAT. 93 00:04:44,482 --> 00:04:46,482 ALL MY LIFE. 94 00:04:46,482 --> 00:04:49,137 FOR ONE TIME IN MY LIFE, I WOULD LIKE TO BE NORMAL. 95 00:04:52,206 --> 00:05:00,448 ♪♪ 96 00:05:00,448 --> 00:05:02,344 FIRST GOAL IS A JOB. 97 00:05:02,344 --> 00:05:04,344 SECOND GOAL IS GETTING PREGNANT. 98 00:05:04,344 --> 00:05:06,551 THAT IS SO MY GOAL. 99 00:05:06,551 --> 00:05:08,620 AND I KNEW RIGHT AWAY THAT I WANTED TO WORK 100 00:05:08,620 --> 00:05:10,172 FOR DR. NOWZARADAN. 101 00:05:10,172 --> 00:05:12,137 I KNEW I WANTED TO CHANGE PEOPLE'S LIVES. 102 00:05:12,137 --> 00:05:14,448 THIS IS MY SKIRT. 103 00:05:14,448 --> 00:05:16,482 FOUR YARDS OF MATERIAL. 104 00:05:17,620 --> 00:05:20,137 THERE IS NOT ONE PIECE OF CHICKEN, 105 00:05:20,137 --> 00:05:24,103 NOT ONE POTATO CHIP THAT FEELS AS GOOD... 106 00:05:27,000 --> 00:05:28,482 ...AS THIS DOES. 107 00:05:28,482 --> 00:05:30,931 I NEVER THOUGHT I'D SEE THE DAY... 108 00:05:33,517 --> 00:05:37,413 ...THAT I COULD GET OUT OF A CAR WITH THIS MUCH SPACE. 109 00:05:37,413 --> 00:05:42,896 ♪♪ 110 00:05:42,896 --> 00:05:46,862 A PART OF ME STILL IS AFRAID OF GETTING FAT. 111 00:05:46,862 --> 00:05:49,586 I'M TERRIFIED OF GAINING WEIGHT. 112 00:05:49,586 --> 00:05:53,241 I'M TERRIFIED OF BEING FAT AGAIN. 113 00:05:53,241 --> 00:05:56,206 I KNOW IT'S STUPID, AND I KNOW EVERYBODY SEES ME AS SKINNY, 114 00:05:56,206 --> 00:05:58,965 BUT I REMEMBER BEING FAT. 115 00:06:00,103 --> 00:06:03,620 Dr. Nowzaradan: YOU WEIGHED 157 POUNDS TODAY. 116 00:06:03,620 --> 00:06:07,586 RIGHT NOW, YOU'RE PROBABLY 5, 10 POUNDS UNDERWEIGHT. 117 00:06:07,586 --> 00:06:11,413 YOUR BODY MASS NEEDS TO INCREASE. 118 00:06:11,413 --> 00:06:14,517 MAKE SURE THAT YOU STICK WITH THE PROTEIN. 119 00:06:14,517 --> 00:06:15,896 OKAY. 120 00:06:15,896 --> 00:06:20,689 Melissa: BEFORE MY SURGERY, CHRIS WAS MY CARETAKER. 121 00:06:20,689 --> 00:06:24,103 THE LOVE NOW HAS JUST BEEN RECENT. 122 00:06:24,103 --> 00:06:26,793 Chris: NOW OUR ROLE IS A HUSBAND AND A WIFE, 123 00:06:26,793 --> 00:06:28,517 A REAL HUSBAND AND WIFE. 124 00:06:31,689 --> 00:06:34,413 Melissa: CHRIS AND I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO GET PREGNANT FOR... 125 00:06:34,413 --> 00:06:37,310 -12 YEARS. -...12 YEARS. 126 00:06:38,517 --> 00:06:42,137 AND I TOOK A PREGNANCY TEST, AND IT CAME BACK POSITIVE. 127 00:06:42,137 --> 00:06:44,137 AND THERE'S THE SECOND -- 128 00:06:44,137 --> 00:06:47,655 Chris: I'M SO EXCITED, I CAN BARELY STAND MYSELF. 129 00:06:47,655 --> 00:06:50,275 LOOK. THAT'S OUR BABY RIGHT NOW. 130 00:06:51,172 --> 00:06:55,724 ♪♪ 131 00:06:55,724 --> 00:06:58,517 Melissa: IN TWO WEEKS, WE DID ANOTHER ULTRASOUND, 132 00:06:58,517 --> 00:07:01,862 AND THEY FINALLY SEEN THE BABY, BUT THERE WAS NO HEARTBEAT. 133 00:07:01,862 --> 00:07:06,655 ♪♪ 134 00:07:06,655 --> 00:07:07,931 Nurse: INTO THE BAG. 135 00:07:07,931 --> 00:07:09,172 I'LL STEP OUT AND GIVE YOU SOME PRIVACY. 136 00:07:09,172 --> 00:07:12,827 IT'S JUST NOT WHAT I WANT TO BE DOING. 137 00:07:12,827 --> 00:07:18,793 ♪♪ 138 00:07:18,793 --> 00:07:21,689 I WAS GOING THROUGH THIS LOSS, AND I FELT LIKE 139 00:07:21,689 --> 00:07:24,379 I WAS DOING IT ALONE. 140 00:07:24,379 --> 00:07:27,862 AND WHEN YOU WANT SOMETHING SO BAD, 141 00:07:27,862 --> 00:07:31,172 IT'S LIKE THE WORST HURT YOU EVER CAN IMAGINE. 142 00:07:31,172 --> 00:07:36,896 ♪♪ 143 00:07:36,896 --> 00:07:41,103 I JUST FOUND OUT CHRIS, FOR YEARS NOW, 144 00:07:41,103 --> 00:07:44,310 HAS BEEN TALKING TO WOMEN ON THE INTERNET, 145 00:07:44,310 --> 00:07:48,827 EXCHANGING E-MAILS TO HAVE SEX. 146 00:07:48,827 --> 00:07:52,206 I'M NOT PROUD OF WHAT I'VE DONE. I'M ASHAMED OF IT. 147 00:07:52,206 --> 00:07:57,862 ♪♪ 148 00:07:57,862 --> 00:07:59,344 Melissa: I WAS ABOUT TO GIVE UP HOPE 149 00:07:59,344 --> 00:08:01,689 WHEN MY WORLD TURNED UPSIDE DOWN. 150 00:08:01,689 --> 00:08:03,689 [ GASPS ] AND THERE'S THE HEARTBEAT. 151 00:08:03,689 --> 00:08:06,482 Nurse: SO THAT FLICKER-FLICKER IS YOUR KIDDO. 152 00:08:06,482 --> 00:08:10,137 MY GOAL FROM THE BEGINNING WAS TO HAVE A CHILD, 153 00:08:10,137 --> 00:08:13,000 BUT NOW THAT I HAVE HER, IT'S LIKE A MILLION TIMES 154 00:08:13,000 --> 00:08:15,931 BETTER THAN THE EXPECTATION THAT I HAD. 155 00:08:15,931 --> 00:08:18,413 MY WHOLE LIFE IS ABOUT BEING A MOM. 156 00:08:18,413 --> 00:08:19,655 SHE'S MY EVERYTHING. 157 00:08:19,655 --> 00:08:22,275 SHE'S MY WHOLE REASON FOR LIVING. 158 00:08:22,275 --> 00:08:25,310 BUT I HAVE FEARED, SINCE THE DAY SHE WAS BORN, 159 00:08:25,310 --> 00:08:27,793 OF HER BEING OVERWEIGHT, 160 00:08:27,793 --> 00:08:30,172 'CAUSE I WANT BETTER FOR HER. 161 00:08:30,172 --> 00:08:36,793 ♪♪ 162 00:08:36,793 --> 00:08:39,448 TWO YEARS AFTER CHEATING ON ME, 163 00:08:39,448 --> 00:08:44,896 I FIND THAT HE'S NOW TALKING TO SOME OTHER LADY ON THE COMPUTER. 164 00:08:44,896 --> 00:08:47,379 BUT I TRULY LOVE HIM WITH ALL MY HEART. 165 00:08:47,379 --> 00:08:51,000 AND I THINK THAT MY MARRIAGE IS WORTH FIGHTING FOR. 166 00:08:55,517 --> 00:09:00,068 BEFORE I LOST THE WEIGHT, MY DREAM WAS TO HAVE KIDS. 167 00:09:00,068 --> 00:09:05,000 NOW I HAVE TWO WONDERFUL KIDS -- ALLONA AND ELI. 168 00:09:05,000 --> 00:09:07,896 BUT I GAINED AROUND 20 POUNDS WHEN I HAD ALLONA, 169 00:09:07,896 --> 00:09:09,896 AND DURING MY PREGNANCY WITH ELI, 170 00:09:09,896 --> 00:09:12,206 I GAINED ALMOST 100 POUNDS. 171 00:09:12,206 --> 00:09:13,551 BUT THEN CHRIS AND I FOUND OUT 172 00:09:13,551 --> 00:09:16,241 THAT I'M PREGNANT WITH OUR THIRD CHILD. 173 00:09:16,241 --> 00:09:18,965 AND IF I GAIN ANOTHER 100 POUNDS WITH THIS BABY, 174 00:09:18,965 --> 00:09:21,551 I'M GONNA BE IN THE UPPER 300s. 175 00:09:21,551 --> 00:09:24,793 SO I'M HOPING THE DOCTOR CAN HELP ME CHANGE THAT 176 00:09:24,793 --> 00:09:27,000 FOR THIS PREGNANCY. 177 00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:28,862 IN THE FIRST FEW MONTHS OF PREGNANCY, 178 00:09:28,862 --> 00:09:31,965 YOU'RE STILL ABLE TO LOSE WEIGHT IN A HEALTHY WAY. 179 00:09:31,965 --> 00:09:34,034 SO YOU WANT ME TO LOSE WEIGHT WHILE I'M PREGNANT. 180 00:09:34,034 --> 00:09:35,137 RIGHT. 181 00:09:35,137 --> 00:09:40,931 ♪♪ 182 00:09:40,931 --> 00:09:43,448 THE PAST MONTH, GETTING HOME AND SETTLING IN, 183 00:09:43,448 --> 00:09:45,793 HAS BEEN A LITTLE OVERWHELMING. 184 00:09:45,793 --> 00:09:47,241 BUT THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT IS 185 00:09:47,241 --> 00:09:50,379 WHEN YOU HAVE A WHOLE NEW PERSON IN YOUR LIFE TO TAKE CARE OF. 186 00:09:50,379 --> 00:09:53,172 SO IT'S A STRUGGLE RIGHT NOW TO KEEP THE DIET, 187 00:09:53,172 --> 00:09:55,241 BUT I'M WORKING ON IT. 188 00:09:55,241 --> 00:09:57,344 I'M ALWAYS NERVOUS GETTING ON THE SCALE 189 00:09:57,344 --> 00:09:58,689 AND CHECKING MY WEIGHT. 190 00:09:58,689 --> 00:10:02,517 I JUST HOPE I HIT 260, LIKE I WAS SUPPOSED TO. 191 00:10:02,517 --> 00:10:04,482 Dr. Nowzaradan: MELISSA HAS BEEN ONE OF OUR MOST 192 00:10:04,482 --> 00:10:07,172 SUCCESSFUL PATIENTS, OVERALL. 193 00:10:07,172 --> 00:10:09,413 -I'M PROUD OF YOU. -THANK YOU. 194 00:10:09,413 --> 00:10:11,448 Melissa: DR. NOWZARADAN SAVED MY LIFE. 195 00:10:11,448 --> 00:10:14,586 AND HAVING WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY HAS MADE MY DREAMS COME TRUE. 196 00:10:14,586 --> 00:10:23,068 ♪♪ 197 00:10:23,068 --> 00:10:25,724 CHRIS AND I AREN'T GOING TO WORK TOGETHER ANYMORE. 198 00:10:25,724 --> 00:10:29,344 SO I HAVE ALL THE STRESS OF TAKING CARE OF OUR FAMILY, 199 00:10:29,344 --> 00:10:31,896 AND IT'S HARDER THAN I EVEN REALIZED. 200 00:10:31,896 --> 00:10:40,931 ♪♪ 201 00:10:40,931 --> 00:10:50,000 ♪♪ 202 00:10:50,000 --> 00:10:52,137 IT'S BEEN 11 YEARS SINCE I STARTED MY JOURNEY 203 00:10:52,137 --> 00:10:53,689 TO LOSE WEIGHT. 204 00:10:55,413 --> 00:10:59,448 AND I'M THANKFUL FOR EVERY DAY I'VE HAD SINCE THEN. 205 00:10:59,448 --> 00:11:01,724 GOOD MORNING, SUNSHINE. 206 00:11:01,724 --> 00:11:03,137 YOU READY FOR THE DAY? 207 00:11:03,137 --> 00:11:04,241 MM-HMM. 208 00:11:04,241 --> 00:11:07,482 THAT NOT ONLY WOULD I NOT BE A MOM 209 00:11:07,482 --> 00:11:09,448 RIGHT NOW TO THREE WONDERFUL KIDS... 210 00:11:09,448 --> 00:11:11,103 MY FAVORITE. 211 00:11:11,103 --> 00:11:13,275 ...BUT I WOULDN'T BE HERE. 212 00:11:13,275 --> 00:11:16,413 I HAVE FOUGHT SO HARD FOR THIS LIFE. 213 00:11:16,413 --> 00:11:20,413 AND IT'S WONDERFUL IN SO MANY WAYS. 214 00:11:20,413 --> 00:11:23,827 BUT AT THE SAME TIME, THERE ARE SO MANY THINGS 215 00:11:23,827 --> 00:11:26,068 THAT AREN'T HOW I THOUGHT THEY'D BE. 216 00:11:26,068 --> 00:11:30,206 AND MY BIGGEST CHANGE I'M GOING THROUGH RIGHT NOW IS -- 217 00:11:30,206 --> 00:11:31,586 CHRIS AND I ARE GOING THROUGH A DIVORCE, 218 00:11:31,586 --> 00:11:33,758 AND HE'S NOW MOVED OUT. 219 00:11:33,758 --> 00:11:35,689 BUT IT'S A RELIEF FOR ME. 220 00:11:35,689 --> 00:11:38,517 THAT'S SAD TO SAY. 221 00:11:38,517 --> 00:11:40,448 I THOUGHT I WAS HOLDING ON FOR MY KIDS, 222 00:11:40,448 --> 00:11:43,896 BUT IT MADE IT PAINFUL FOR ALL OF US. 223 00:11:43,896 --> 00:11:47,068 DIVORCE IS A HARD THING TO GO THROUGH, 224 00:11:47,068 --> 00:11:48,448 EVEN WHEN YOU'VE DECIDED THAT, 225 00:11:48,448 --> 00:11:50,068 YES, THIS IS WHAT'S BEST FOR THE KIDS 226 00:11:50,068 --> 00:11:52,413 AND THIS IS WHAT'S BEST FOR US. 227 00:11:52,413 --> 00:11:55,275 BUT, AT THE SAME TIME, IT'S STILL A NASTY ROAD, 228 00:11:55,275 --> 00:11:58,758 BECAUSE I'M RAISING MY THREE KIDS BY MYSELF, 229 00:11:58,758 --> 00:12:00,206 AND IT'S HARD. 230 00:12:00,206 --> 00:12:02,620 LIFE IS HARD. 231 00:12:02,620 --> 00:12:05,862 AND EVERYTHING IS STRESSFUL, UNTIL THEY HUG YOU 232 00:12:05,862 --> 00:12:08,965 AND TELL YOU THEY LOVE YOU AND YOU'RE THE BEST MOM AROUND. 233 00:12:08,965 --> 00:12:11,310 AND YOU'RE LIKE, "OH, OKAY." 234 00:12:12,793 --> 00:12:17,068 SO EVERYTHING I DO NOW IS BECAUSE OF THEM. 235 00:12:17,068 --> 00:12:20,517 AND ONE OF MY BIGGEST FEARS IS PASSING ON MY BAD HABITS 236 00:12:20,517 --> 00:12:23,275 THAT LED ME TO BEING 600 POUNDS. 237 00:12:24,758 --> 00:12:29,931 BUT IF I TEACH THEM ANYTHING, IT'S TO NEVER END UP LIKE I WAS. 238 00:12:29,931 --> 00:12:34,758 SO I MAKE SURE WE EAT RIGHT NOW AND STAY AS ACTIVE AS WE CAN. 239 00:12:34,758 --> 00:12:38,241 I NEED TO BE ACCOUNTABLE FOR THEM, NOT ONLY MYSELF. 240 00:12:38,241 --> 00:12:41,965 BEING A SINGLE MOM HAS ACTUALLY PUSHED ME TO PUSH HARDER. 241 00:12:41,965 --> 00:12:43,965 I WANT BETTER FOR THEM, BECAUSE NOW I'M LIKE, 242 00:12:43,965 --> 00:12:47,172 "I GOT TO LIVE LONGER AND I GOT TO BE HEALTHIER." 243 00:12:47,172 --> 00:12:50,206 AND I WANT THEM TO SAY, YOU KNOW, "LET'S GO EXERCISE," 244 00:12:50,206 --> 00:12:53,034 NOT BECAUSE THEY FEEL LIKE THEY'RE BEING FORCED TO DO IT, 245 00:12:53,034 --> 00:12:57,620 BUT BECAUSE IT JUST BECOMES AN EVERYDAY, NORMAL ROUTINE. 246 00:12:57,620 --> 00:13:01,896 SO, I'M WORKING TO KEEP US ALL HEALTHY. 247 00:13:01,896 --> 00:13:03,620 BUT I SPENT THE LAST FEW YEARS 248 00:13:03,620 --> 00:13:07,482 GAINING BECAUSE OF MY PREGNANCIES... 249 00:13:07,482 --> 00:13:09,689 AND BECAUSE STICKING TO THE DIET 250 00:13:09,689 --> 00:13:12,758 IS ALWAYS GONNA BE MY BIGGEST STRUGGLE. 251 00:13:15,103 --> 00:13:19,379 IT'S A STRUGGLE EVERY DAY TO NOT WANT 252 00:13:19,379 --> 00:13:21,724 SOME POTATO CHIPS AND POPCORN. 253 00:13:21,724 --> 00:13:23,275 OH, MY GOSH. 254 00:13:23,275 --> 00:13:26,724 IT'S LIKE MY BEST FRIEND IN THE WHOLE WORLD. 255 00:13:26,724 --> 00:13:28,689 SO, I AM NEVER GONNA BE IN A PLACE 256 00:13:28,689 --> 00:13:32,034 WHERE I DON'T HAVE CRAVINGS LIKE THAT. 257 00:13:32,034 --> 00:13:33,758 AND SOME DAYS, THE STRUGGLE'S WORTH IT, 258 00:13:33,758 --> 00:13:35,034 AND SOME DAYS, IT'S LIKE, 259 00:13:35,034 --> 00:13:38,931 "REALLY? DO WE REALLY HAVE TO DO THIS AGAIN TODAY?" 260 00:13:38,931 --> 00:13:41,068 I AM TRYING TO STAY ON A ROAD 261 00:13:41,068 --> 00:13:45,103 THAT I KNOW WILL GET ME TO MY GOAL. 262 00:13:45,103 --> 00:13:47,862 AND I'M DETERMINED TO GET BACK ON TRACK RIGHT NOW 263 00:13:47,862 --> 00:13:49,862 FOR A COUPLE OF REASONS. 264 00:13:49,862 --> 00:13:53,551 I HAVE TO GIVE MY KIDS SOMEBODY TO LOOK UP TO... 265 00:13:53,551 --> 00:13:56,344 AND TO BE A ROLE MODEL FOR OTHERS, 266 00:13:56,344 --> 00:13:58,586 BECAUSE I'VE DECIDED I WANT TO WORK WITH OTHERS 267 00:13:58,586 --> 00:14:00,482 STRUGGLING TO LOSE WEIGHT 268 00:14:00,482 --> 00:14:04,206 AND HELP THEM WITH WHAT I'VE LEARNED OVER THE YEARS 269 00:14:04,206 --> 00:14:08,068 AND TO TRY AND TURN THAT INTO A CAREER. 270 00:14:08,068 --> 00:14:13,620 BEING ABLE TO INSPIRE OTHERS WOULD BE MY DREAM JOB. 271 00:14:13,620 --> 00:14:17,620 AND I ACTUALLY HAVE MY FIRST BIG SPEAKING EVENT COMING UP SOON. 272 00:14:17,620 --> 00:14:20,241 I'VE BEEN ASKED TO GIVE A TALK WITH DR. NOW 273 00:14:20,241 --> 00:14:23,896 AT AN OBESITY CONFERENCE HERE IN A FEW MONTHS. 274 00:14:23,896 --> 00:14:26,586 AND I'M EXCITED ABOUT THAT. 275 00:14:26,586 --> 00:14:30,620 SO I WANT TO LOSE AS MUCH WEIGHT AS I CAN BY THEN. 276 00:14:30,620 --> 00:14:32,862 MY GOAL NEW GOAL WEIGHT THAT I WORKED OUT WITH DR. NOW 277 00:14:32,862 --> 00:14:34,482 IS 160 POUNDS. 278 00:14:34,482 --> 00:14:36,344 THAT'S WHERE I WANT TO BE. 279 00:14:36,344 --> 00:14:38,655 SO, MY GOAL IS TO START LOSING AGAIN 280 00:14:38,655 --> 00:14:40,758 BEFORE I GO TO THE CONFERENCE, 281 00:14:40,758 --> 00:14:44,517 BECAUSE WHEN I'M GAINING AND I TRY TO INSPIRE OTHERS 282 00:14:44,517 --> 00:14:48,551 TO LOSE WEIGHT, IT MAKES ME FEEL LIKE A FRAUD. 283 00:14:48,551 --> 00:14:51,137 SO I HAVE TO START LOSING AGAIN. 284 00:14:51,137 --> 00:14:55,482 AND IF I CAN'T FIGURE IT OUT BEFORE THEN, I'M CANCELING, 285 00:14:55,482 --> 00:14:58,551 BECAUSE AS MUCH AS I WANT TO DO THIS, 286 00:14:58,551 --> 00:15:00,586 I JUST DON'T THINK I'LL BE ABLE TO. 287 00:15:07,137 --> 00:15:13,586 ♪♪ 288 00:15:13,586 --> 00:15:20,172 ♪♪ 289 00:15:20,172 --> 00:15:22,517 Melissa: I'M AT DR. NOW'S OFFICE TO TALK TO HIM 290 00:15:22,517 --> 00:15:26,586 ABOUT MY WEIGHT LOSS AND HOW I'VE PLATEAUED. 291 00:15:26,586 --> 00:15:31,413 I'VE BEEN FLOATING BETWEEN 250 AND 255 FOR MONTHS NOW. 292 00:15:31,413 --> 00:15:35,827 SO I'M HOPING DR. NOW CAN HELP ME START TO GET PAST THIS. 293 00:15:35,827 --> 00:15:38,206 MELISSA MORRIS? 294 00:15:38,206 --> 00:15:41,413 THE LAST TIME I WAS HERE, I WAS AT 252. 295 00:15:41,413 --> 00:15:44,620 AND I THINK I'M THAT RANGE STILL. 296 00:15:44,620 --> 00:15:46,896 BUT ONCE YOU'RE AS BIG AS I WAS, 297 00:15:46,896 --> 00:15:50,965 THE SCALE IS SOMETHING THAT'S ALWAYS GONNA BE SCARY. 298 00:15:50,965 --> 00:15:54,620 AND AS MUCH AS I HATE IT, 299 00:15:54,620 --> 00:15:56,379 I KNOW I NEED THAT FEAR 300 00:15:56,379 --> 00:15:59,172 AND THAT REMINDER TO HELP KEEP ME IN CHECK. 301 00:16:01,448 --> 00:16:02,655 OKAY, 260. 302 00:16:02,655 --> 00:16:05,068 OH, NO. 303 00:16:07,689 --> 00:16:10,103 I'M DISAPPOINTED IN MYSELF. 304 00:16:10,965 --> 00:16:13,103 I DON'T WANT TO BE GAINING. 305 00:16:13,103 --> 00:16:15,620 BUT WITH THE DIVORCE AND EVERYTHING GOING ON, 306 00:16:15,620 --> 00:16:18,310 I HAVEN'T BEEN KEEPING UP WITH WHAT I WEIGH AT HOME. 307 00:16:20,034 --> 00:16:24,896 I FIGHT THE BATTLE OF WEIGHT LOSS REALLY HARD. 308 00:16:24,896 --> 00:16:28,862 AND I AM ASHAMED AND EMBARRASSED THAT PEOPLE ASK ME FOR HELP 309 00:16:28,862 --> 00:16:31,275 AND I CAN TELL THEM THE EXACT RIGHT THINGS TO DO, 310 00:16:31,275 --> 00:16:33,206 BUT I CAN'T DO IT MYSELF. 311 00:16:34,379 --> 00:16:36,310 IT MAKES ME FEEL LIKE A FAILURE. 312 00:16:38,758 --> 00:16:40,310 [ KNOCK ON DOOR ]HELLO. 313 00:16:40,310 --> 00:16:41,620 HI, DR. NOWZARADAN. 314 00:16:41,620 --> 00:16:43,206 HI, MELISSA. HOW ARE YOU? 315 00:16:43,206 --> 00:16:45,000 I'M OKAY. 316 00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:48,482 ALL RIGHT. SO, YOU'RE 260 NOW? 317 00:16:48,482 --> 00:16:49,689 YES. 318 00:16:49,689 --> 00:16:54,137 YOU'RE STILL BATTLING WITH YOUR EATING HABIT, HUH? 319 00:16:54,137 --> 00:16:57,965 YEAH, I'M STILL BATTLING -- AND LOSING, APPARENTLY. 320 00:16:57,965 --> 00:17:01,620 SO, WHAT SEEMS TO BE YOUR BIGGEST CHALLENGE? 321 00:17:01,620 --> 00:17:03,862 IT'S VERY STRESSFUL RIGHT NOW. 322 00:17:03,862 --> 00:17:06,103 AND THAT'S THE WAY I DEAL WITH THINGS -- 323 00:17:06,103 --> 00:17:08,793 EATING THE WRONG FOODS, EATING MORE THAN I SHOULD. 324 00:17:08,793 --> 00:17:10,965 IT'S A BAD WAY, I KNOW, BUT THAT'S THE WAY 325 00:17:10,965 --> 00:17:12,275 I DEAL WITH THINGS. 326 00:17:12,275 --> 00:17:15,034 WELL, YOU HAVE A LOT OF STUFF GOING ON RIGHT NOW. 327 00:17:15,034 --> 00:17:18,034 BUT YOU SEEM TO BE AWARE OF THE CHOICES YOU'RE MAKING 328 00:17:18,034 --> 00:17:20,827 AND WHERE YOU ARE OVEREATING. 329 00:17:20,827 --> 00:17:23,758 YOU'RE ABOUT 100 POUNDS FROM YOUR TARGET WEIGHT, 330 00:17:23,758 --> 00:17:27,068 AND YOU LET THAT BIG NUMBER LOOM OVER YOUR HEAD. 331 00:17:27,068 --> 00:17:30,034 AND WHAT I HAVE SEEN FROM YOU OVER THE YEARS IS -- 332 00:17:30,034 --> 00:17:32,103 THE MOMENT THAT YOU START GAINING WEIGHT, 333 00:17:32,103 --> 00:17:34,000 YOU START BEATING YOURSELF UP. 334 00:17:34,000 --> 00:17:36,241 AND THAT ADDS A LOT OF STRESS. 335 00:17:36,241 --> 00:17:38,862 SO LET'S SIMPLIFY THINGS RIGHT NOW. 336 00:17:38,862 --> 00:17:42,655 OVER THE NEXT MONTH, TRY TO LOSE 7 TO 8 POUNDS. 337 00:17:42,655 --> 00:17:45,034 LET'S START TO GO BACK TO BABY STEPS. 338 00:17:45,034 --> 00:17:47,896 AND THEN, AFTER THAT, WE'LL TALK ABOUT YOUR NEXT GOAL, 339 00:17:47,896 --> 00:17:49,620 AND WE'LL GO FROM THERE. 340 00:17:49,620 --> 00:17:51,896 OKAY. AND I GOT TO SAY I'M TRYING, 341 00:17:51,896 --> 00:17:53,517 BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE TRYING DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING, 342 00:17:53,517 --> 00:17:55,137 BUT I'M WORKING ON IT. 343 00:17:55,137 --> 00:17:57,137 OKAY. 344 00:17:57,137 --> 00:17:58,827 Dr. Nowzaradan: OVERALL, I'M NOT CONCERNED 345 00:17:58,827 --> 00:18:00,482 ABOUT MELISSA RIGHT NOW. 346 00:18:00,482 --> 00:18:03,068 SHE DOES NEED TO START LOSING AGAIN, 347 00:18:03,068 --> 00:18:05,482 AND WE NEED TO GET HER TO HER TARGET WEIGHT 348 00:18:05,482 --> 00:18:07,931 SO SHE CAN WORK TO MAINTAIN THAT. 349 00:18:07,931 --> 00:18:09,793 BUT IT'S BEEN OVER 11 YEARS 350 00:18:09,793 --> 00:18:12,000 SINCE HER GASTRIC-BYPASS SURGERY, 351 00:18:12,000 --> 00:18:14,413 AND SHE'S NOT 600 POUNDS AGAIN 352 00:18:14,413 --> 00:18:17,068 AND SHE HAD THREE PREGNANCIES. 353 00:18:17,068 --> 00:18:20,275 MOST PATIENTS WHO FAIL GAIN THE WEIGHT BACK 354 00:18:20,275 --> 00:18:22,241 WITHIN THE FIRST FIVE YEARS. 355 00:18:22,241 --> 00:18:24,931 SO THE WEIGHT FLUCTUATIONS DON'T INDICATE 356 00:18:24,931 --> 00:18:28,034 THE PROBABILITY OF LONG-TERM FAILURE 357 00:18:28,034 --> 00:18:30,137 AT THIS STAGE OF HER JOURNEY. 358 00:18:30,137 --> 00:18:33,793 SO SHE'S DOING WELL, BUT SHE CAN START TO STRUGGLE 359 00:18:33,793 --> 00:18:36,620 IF SHE SLOWLY LETS HERSELF GAIN. 360 00:18:36,620 --> 00:18:39,724 SO, RIGHT NOW, SIMPLER GOALS WILL HELP MOTIVATE 361 00:18:39,724 --> 00:18:42,206 GETTING HER BACK ON TRACK. 362 00:18:42,206 --> 00:18:44,206 SO, ARE YOU READY FOR THE CONFERENCE? 363 00:18:44,206 --> 00:18:46,413 I HEARD THAT YOU'RE THE BIG V.I.P., 364 00:18:46,413 --> 00:18:50,068 AND SINCE I'M WITH YOU, I GET V.I.P. TREATMENT, ALSO. 365 00:18:50,068 --> 00:18:52,827 I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THE V.I.P. 366 00:18:52,827 --> 00:18:56,241 SO, WE GOT TO BE THERE AND SEE IF WE CAN MAKE SOME IMPACT 367 00:18:56,241 --> 00:19:00,000 ON THE LIFE OF PEOPLE THAT STRUGGLE WITH OBESITY. 368 00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:03,000 YEAH, THEY SAID THEY'VE SOLD 400 TICKETS, 369 00:19:03,000 --> 00:19:05,482 AND HALF OF THOSE ARE PEOPLE 370 00:19:05,482 --> 00:19:07,620 WHO HAVEN'T EVEN HAD SURGERY YET. 371 00:19:07,620 --> 00:19:10,000 I THINK THAT CONFERENCE IS GONNA BE PRODUCTIVE 372 00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:12,413 FOR EVERYBODY, AND MAYBE A SOURCE 373 00:19:12,413 --> 00:19:14,275 OF MOTIVATION FOR YOU, TOO. 374 00:19:14,275 --> 00:19:17,034 YEAH. IT'S DEFINITELY A SOURCE OF MOTIVATION. 375 00:19:17,034 --> 00:19:19,275 SO, LET'S GET BACK ON TRACK, 376 00:19:19,275 --> 00:19:23,275 AND WE'LL BOTH BE ABLE TO HELP ENCOURAGE OTHERS 377 00:19:23,275 --> 00:19:25,379 WHO ARE TRYING TO DO WHAT YOU'RE DOING 378 00:19:25,379 --> 00:19:27,482 AND WORKING TO MAINTAIN. 379 00:19:27,482 --> 00:19:28,896 OKAY. 380 00:19:28,896 --> 00:19:31,379 ALL RIGHT. I'LL SEE YOU LATER. 381 00:19:31,379 --> 00:19:34,068 -BYE-BYE. -ARE WE DONE? 382 00:19:34,068 --> 00:19:35,586 ALMOST. 383 00:19:37,482 --> 00:19:39,758 Melissa: I KNOW I BEAT MYSELF UP A LOT, 384 00:19:39,758 --> 00:19:42,517 BUT EVEN THOUGH DR. NOW IS MAKING THE GOAL 385 00:19:42,517 --> 00:19:46,689 A LITTLE SIMPLER, HE'S EXPECTING 7 TO 8 POUNDS A MONTH. 386 00:19:46,689 --> 00:19:49,137 THAT'S A HUGE NUMBER FOR ME. 387 00:19:49,137 --> 00:19:51,034 WAIT ON MOMMY. 388 00:19:51,034 --> 00:19:53,620 BUT KNOWING DR. NOWZARADAN THINKS I CAN DO THIS 389 00:19:53,620 --> 00:19:55,620 IS REALLY ENCOURAGING. 390 00:19:55,620 --> 00:19:57,896 AND I'VE JUST GOT TO KEEP PUSHING FORWARD, 391 00:19:57,896 --> 00:20:01,068 'CAUSE I REFUSE TO BE BIGGER THAN I AM NOW 392 00:20:01,068 --> 00:20:04,103 OR ANYWHERE CLOSE TO WHERE I WAS BEFORE. 393 00:20:04,103 --> 00:20:06,862 SO I'M GOING TO JUST DO AS HE SAYS 394 00:20:06,862 --> 00:20:09,275 AND NOT PUT TOO MUCH PRESSURE ON MYSELF. 395 00:20:12,862 --> 00:20:19,965 ♪♪ 396 00:20:19,965 --> 00:20:21,413 GOING THROUGH THIS DIVORCE 397 00:20:21,413 --> 00:20:24,931 IS PROBABLY THE HARDEST TIME IN MY LIFE. 398 00:20:24,931 --> 00:20:27,517 CHRIS AND I WERE TOGETHER FOR 21 YEARS. 399 00:20:27,517 --> 00:20:31,931 THE LAST SIX YEARS, HE'S BEEN CHEATING. 400 00:20:31,931 --> 00:20:34,793 WE WENT THROUGH COUNSELING, AND HE WAS GONNA CHANGE 401 00:20:34,793 --> 00:20:37,413 AND HE'S GONNA BE A BETTER PERSON. 402 00:20:37,413 --> 00:20:39,241 AND HE DID CHANGE. 403 00:20:39,241 --> 00:20:42,620 HE GOT SMARTER. HE GOT SNEAKIER. 404 00:20:42,620 --> 00:20:46,758 WHEN SOMEONE CHEATS ON YOU, THEN NO MATTER WHAT ANYBODY SAYS, 405 00:20:46,758 --> 00:20:50,206 YOU FEEL LIKE THEY'RE SAYING YOU'RE NOT GOOD ENOUGH. 406 00:20:50,206 --> 00:20:53,068 AND WHEN YOU ACCEPT THAT AND SAY, 407 00:20:53,068 --> 00:20:55,172 "I'M SORRY THAT I WASN'T GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU. 408 00:20:55,172 --> 00:20:58,137 WHAT CAN I DO TO MAKE MYSELF BETTER? 409 00:20:58,137 --> 00:21:00,206 PLEASE COME BACK TO ME." 410 00:21:00,206 --> 00:21:02,965 THEN, IN YOUR HEAD, YOU THINK YOU'RE NOT GOOD ENOUGH. 411 00:21:02,965 --> 00:21:05,931 YOU DROVE THAT PERSON AWAY. 412 00:21:05,931 --> 00:21:08,827 SIX YEARS AGO, I WAS 150, SO I WAS PERFECT. 413 00:21:08,827 --> 00:21:11,689 IT DIDN'T MATTER WHAT SIZE I WAS. 414 00:21:11,689 --> 00:21:13,068 HE WAS NEVER OKAY WITH IT. 415 00:21:13,068 --> 00:21:15,448 HE WAS ALWAYS LOOKING FOR SOMETHING ELSE. 416 00:21:15,448 --> 00:21:18,241 WHATEVER I WAS, HE WAS LOOKING FOR THE OPPOSITE, 417 00:21:18,241 --> 00:21:21,586 BECAUSE I WAS NOT WORTHY ENOUGH. 418 00:21:21,586 --> 00:21:25,034 BUT NOW MY WORTHINESS DOESN'T DEPEND ON HIM ANYMORE. 419 00:21:25,034 --> 00:21:28,862 I'M IN CONTROL OF THIS BUS NOW. 420 00:21:28,862 --> 00:21:32,172 SO, I'M LAYING OUT A PLAN, AND I'M STICKING TO IT 421 00:21:32,172 --> 00:21:35,413 SO I CAN START LOSING AGAIN. 422 00:21:35,413 --> 00:21:38,000 AND TO HELP PLAN FOR MY HEALTHIER MEALS 423 00:21:38,000 --> 00:21:41,034 AND TO MAKE SURE I DON'T GO OVER MY DAILY CALORIES, 424 00:21:41,034 --> 00:21:43,689 I'M USING A MEAL PLANNER. 425 00:21:43,689 --> 00:21:46,862 AND THAT'S GETTING ME BACK ON TRACK. 426 00:21:46,862 --> 00:21:49,827 MY PHONE HAS EVERYTHING THAT ANYBODY IN THIS HOUSE 427 00:21:49,827 --> 00:21:53,413 IS GONNA PUT IN THEIR MOUTH, ON WHAT DAY. 428 00:21:53,413 --> 00:21:56,103 BECAUSE I KNOW I'M AN EMOTIONAL EATER, 429 00:21:56,103 --> 00:21:58,034 AND I'M NOT LETTING THIS GET IN THE WAY OF ME 430 00:21:58,034 --> 00:22:00,482 TAKING THE OPPORTUNITY TO HELP OTHERS 431 00:22:00,482 --> 00:22:03,000 AND START A CAREER FOR MYSELF. 432 00:22:04,275 --> 00:22:06,068 AND I'M LOSING THE WEIGHT I NEED 433 00:22:06,068 --> 00:22:08,724 SO THAT I CAN STAND UP AT THAT CONFERENCE 434 00:22:08,724 --> 00:22:12,206 AND KNOW WITH CONFIDENCE THAT I BELONG THERE 435 00:22:12,206 --> 00:22:14,965 AND THAT I'M DOING WHAT I'M TELLING EVERYONE ELSE 436 00:22:14,965 --> 00:22:16,379 THEY CAN DO. 437 00:22:18,137 --> 00:22:21,000 I HAVE THREE WEEKS LEFT, SO THAT'S AROUND 438 00:22:21,000 --> 00:22:24,862 THREE POUNDS A WEEK I STILL NEED TO LOSE. 439 00:22:24,862 --> 00:22:27,482 AND I'M MAKING SURE, NO MATTER HOW HARD IT GETS 440 00:22:27,482 --> 00:22:31,689 OR HOW EMOTIONAL I AM, I'M STICKING TO THE DIET. 441 00:22:31,689 --> 00:22:34,241 AND TO HELP MOTIVATE ME, I HAVE SOME OUTFITS 442 00:22:34,241 --> 00:22:37,517 I WANT TO WEAR AT THE CONFERENCE. 443 00:22:37,517 --> 00:22:39,620 BUT I DON'T QUITE FIT IN THEM YET, 444 00:22:39,620 --> 00:22:43,275 SO I'D BETTER LOSE THE WEIGHT. 445 00:22:43,275 --> 00:22:46,586 I THINK IT'S HARD FOR ANYONE TO GO THROUGH SOMETHING LIKE I AM 446 00:22:46,586 --> 00:22:48,586 AND NOT STRUGGLE WITH THAT. 447 00:22:48,586 --> 00:22:51,724 AND I HAVE YET TO HAVE MY HEAD FIXED WHERE I CAN 448 00:22:51,724 --> 00:22:52,965 LOOK IN THE MIRROR AND SAY, 449 00:22:52,965 --> 00:22:55,034 "I'M OKAY WITH WHERE YOU ARE RIGHT NOW." 450 00:22:55,034 --> 00:22:57,137 I SAY TO MYSELF, IN MY HEAD, 451 00:22:57,137 --> 00:23:00,448 "FAILURE. WHY CAN'T YOU GET IT TOGETHER?" 452 00:23:00,448 --> 00:23:03,827 I WASN'T GOOD ENOUGH BIG, I WASN'T GOOD ENOUGH LITTLE, 453 00:23:03,827 --> 00:23:06,379 AND I'M NOT GOOD ENOUGH IN THE MIDDLE. 454 00:23:06,379 --> 00:23:10,103 BUT I'M NOT LETTING ALL OF THESE ISSUES AND WHAT SOMEONE ELSE 455 00:23:10,103 --> 00:23:13,931 HAS DONE TO ME CONTROL ME ANY LONGER. 456 00:23:13,931 --> 00:23:16,068 LIFE HAS A WAY OF BRINGING YOU FACE-TO-FACE 457 00:23:16,068 --> 00:23:18,103 WITH YOUR FEARS AT TIMES. 458 00:23:18,103 --> 00:23:19,620 AND HOW WE HANDLE OURSELVES 459 00:23:19,620 --> 00:23:23,689 AND THOSE TIMES DICTATES THE REST OF OUR LIVES. 460 00:23:23,689 --> 00:23:28,000 SO I AM TAKING BACK CONTROL, AND I AM DOING IT NOW. 461 00:23:33,241 --> 00:23:40,655 ♪♪ 462 00:23:40,655 --> 00:23:48,103 ♪♪ 463 00:23:48,103 --> 00:23:50,862 Melissa: I HAVE MY FOLLOW-UP APPOINTMENT WITH DR. NOW TO SEE 464 00:23:50,862 --> 00:23:54,689 IF I HAD LOST THE 7 OR 8 POUNDS HE WANTED ME TO LOSE, 465 00:23:54,689 --> 00:23:56,517 AND I LOST 10. 466 00:23:56,517 --> 00:23:59,758 AND IT FEELS REALLY GOOD TO BE HITTING A MONTHLY GOAL -- 467 00:23:59,758 --> 00:24:01,827 OR ANY GOALS AGAIN. 468 00:24:03,931 --> 00:24:05,896 SO, I'M ACTUALLY LEAVING IN A FEW HOURS 469 00:24:05,896 --> 00:24:07,827 TO HEAD TO LOS ANGELES. 470 00:24:07,827 --> 00:24:11,931 AND, RIGHT NOW, I'M PREPARING MY SPEECH FOR THE CONFERENCE. 471 00:24:11,931 --> 00:24:15,068 BECAUSE I'M SHARING MY STORY CAN HELP ANYONE ELSE 472 00:24:15,068 --> 00:24:17,793 WHO'S STRUGGLING WITH LOSING THEIR WEIGHT, 473 00:24:17,793 --> 00:24:20,448 THEN I'M WILLING TO BEAR MY SOUL. 474 00:24:21,689 --> 00:24:24,172 AND I WANT MY SPEECH TO BE GREAT. 475 00:24:24,172 --> 00:24:26,068 FIRST OF ALL, I WANT THEM TO CRY. [ LAUGHS ] 476 00:24:26,068 --> 00:24:27,758 AND, SECOND OF ALL, I WANT THEM TO WALK OUT OF THERE 477 00:24:27,758 --> 00:24:30,896 WITH SOMETHING THAT'S GONNA CHANGE THEIR LIFE. 478 00:24:30,896 --> 00:24:33,689 NOT ONCE WHEN I WAS GROWING UP DID I TELL ANYBODY, 479 00:24:33,689 --> 00:24:38,586 "HEY, IT'S MY DREAM TO BE 700 POUNDS." 480 00:24:38,586 --> 00:24:41,310 HOW'D I GET TO BE 700 POUNDS? 481 00:24:41,310 --> 00:24:43,931 SURE, THERE'S A LIST OF THINGS I COULD TELL YOU NOW, 482 00:24:43,931 --> 00:24:46,758 BUT, AT THE TIME, I WOULDN'T SAY IT OUT LOUD, 483 00:24:46,758 --> 00:24:50,620 I WOULDN'T SAY IT TO ANYBODY, BECAUSE I HATED ME. 484 00:24:50,620 --> 00:24:54,206 I HATED THE PERSON I WAS. I HATED WHAT I DID TO MYSELF. 485 00:24:54,206 --> 00:24:57,689 I DID THIS TO ME, AND I HATED IT. 486 00:24:57,689 --> 00:25:01,586 EVERY TIME I TALK ABOUT ALL THIS ISN'T EASY. 487 00:25:01,586 --> 00:25:05,137 BUT THE REASON I DO IS TO TRY AND HELP OTHERS. 488 00:25:05,137 --> 00:25:08,620 I WAS ONE OF THE VERY FIRST PEOPLE IN THE WORLD 489 00:25:08,620 --> 00:25:12,379 TO RECEIVE GASTRIC BYPASS AT MY WEIGHT. 490 00:25:12,379 --> 00:25:16,896 SO THERE'S ONLY A FEW PEOPLE ALIVE THAT HAVE LOST 500 POUNDS. 491 00:25:16,896 --> 00:25:20,896 BUT THERE ARE PEOPLE OUT THERE STRUGGLING JUST LIKE I WAS, 492 00:25:20,896 --> 00:25:24,413 EVEN IF IT'S JUST 100 POUNDS THAT THEY WANT TO LOSE. 493 00:25:24,413 --> 00:25:28,931 AND IF I CAN HELP OR ENCOURAGE ANY OF THEM BY TELLING MY STORY, 494 00:25:28,931 --> 00:25:30,551 I WANT TO DO THAT. 495 00:25:32,482 --> 00:25:36,103 BUT THIS IS THE FIRST TIME I'M EVER GOING TO A PLACE 496 00:25:36,103 --> 00:25:40,586 WHERE IT'S FULL OF PEOPLE WHO KNOW WHO I AM. 497 00:25:40,586 --> 00:25:44,517 THEY'VE HEARD MY STORY, AND THEY SAY THE NICEST THINGS TO ME. 498 00:25:44,517 --> 00:25:47,068 "YOU'RE AN INSPIRATION. YOU CHANGED MY LIFE." 499 00:25:47,068 --> 00:25:49,896 BUT IT'S HARD FOR ME TO HEAR NICE THINGS, 500 00:25:49,896 --> 00:25:51,827 BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE A FAILURE 501 00:25:51,827 --> 00:25:56,724 BECAUSE I'M STILL 100 POUNDS OVER MY LOWEST WEIGHT. 502 00:25:56,724 --> 00:25:58,758 AND IT'S SAD THAT MY FACE IS KNOWN, 503 00:25:58,758 --> 00:26:01,586 BECAUSE I WAS ALMOST 700 POUNDS. 504 00:26:01,586 --> 00:26:03,620 SO, AS HARD AS THAT IDENTITY IS, 505 00:26:03,620 --> 00:26:07,137 I'M WILLING TO EMBRACE IT TO HELP OTHERS. 506 00:26:07,137 --> 00:26:10,379 AND I AM HOPING THIS IS THE START OF SOMETHING EVEN BIGGER, 507 00:26:10,379 --> 00:26:13,413 BECAUSE I WANT TO DO THIS FOR AS LONG AS I CAN... 508 00:26:16,206 --> 00:26:19,931 ...AND TO TELL PEOPLE, IF I CAN DO IT, SO CAN THEY. 509 00:26:22,344 --> 00:26:23,965 DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS IS? 510 00:26:23,965 --> 00:26:25,344 WHEN YOU WERE YOUNGER. 511 00:26:25,344 --> 00:26:27,896 NO, THIS IS WHAT MOMMY USED TO WEAR. 512 00:26:27,896 --> 00:26:29,724 NOW PUT YOUR ARMS OUT TO IT. 513 00:26:29,724 --> 00:26:32,034 STRAIGHT OUT. 514 00:26:32,034 --> 00:26:33,689 ALMOST THERE. 515 00:26:33,689 --> 00:26:37,172 YOU HAVE TO ROLL, ROLL, ROLL. 516 00:26:37,172 --> 00:26:40,206 OOH! THAT'S HOW BIG YOU WERE? 517 00:26:40,206 --> 00:26:41,586 YEAH. 518 00:26:41,586 --> 00:26:44,172 THAT BIG. WOW. 519 00:26:44,172 --> 00:26:45,344 WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THAT? 520 00:26:45,344 --> 00:26:46,758 I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT. 521 00:26:46,758 --> 00:26:48,275 YOU CAN'T BELIEVE THAT? 522 00:26:48,275 --> 00:26:50,517 ALL RIGHT, PUT IT DOWN ON MY PINK SHIRT. 523 00:26:52,965 --> 00:26:54,689 I KNOW THIS WHOLE TRIP IS GONNA BE 524 00:26:54,689 --> 00:26:57,862 A REALLY EMOTIONAL EXPERIENCE FOR ME. 525 00:26:57,862 --> 00:27:01,793 IT'S GOING TO BE A LOT OF HIGHS AND LOWS, I'M SURE. 526 00:27:01,793 --> 00:27:04,517 BUT THAT'S LIFE. 527 00:27:04,517 --> 00:27:08,000 AND I THINK THE HARDEST PART IS ACTUALLY GONNA BE 528 00:27:08,000 --> 00:27:10,620 NOT SEEING MY BABIES FOR FIVE DAYS. 529 00:27:12,413 --> 00:27:16,620 THIS WILL BE THE LONGEST THAT I HAVE EVER LEFT THEM. 530 00:27:16,620 --> 00:27:19,758 -DADDY! -DADDY, DADDY! 531 00:27:19,758 --> 00:27:22,517 SO, CHRIS IS GONNA STAY WITH THEM WHILE I'M GONE. 532 00:27:24,586 --> 00:27:28,172 FOR ALL THE PAIN HE'S CAUSED ME AND DESPITE WHAT HE'S DONE, 533 00:27:28,172 --> 00:27:32,310 THE ONE THING I CAN SAY ABOUT HIM IS HE LOVES HIS KIDS. 534 00:27:32,310 --> 00:27:35,758 SO I'M GLAD HE'LL BE ABLE TO HAVE THIS TIME WITH THEM. 535 00:27:35,758 --> 00:27:37,137 BUT CHRIS IS NOT REAL HAPPY 536 00:27:37,137 --> 00:27:38,689 ABOUT ME GOING TO THE CONVENTION, 537 00:27:38,689 --> 00:27:42,551 ONLY BECAUSE IT PUTS, LIKE, A CRIMP IN HIS PLANS. 538 00:27:42,551 --> 00:27:45,862 IT'S NOT THAT HE'S NOT SUPPORTIVE OF WHAT I'M DOING. 539 00:27:45,862 --> 00:27:49,620 HE'S JUST NOT HAPPY THAT HE'S THE ONE THAT HAS TO BE MOM. 540 00:27:52,896 --> 00:27:55,413 BUT IT PUTS ME ON ANXIETY OVERRIDE 541 00:27:55,413 --> 00:27:57,551 TO SAY GOODBYE TO MY KIDS. 542 00:27:57,551 --> 00:28:00,724 I LOVE THEM, EVEN THOUGH THEY DRIVE ME CRAZY. 543 00:28:00,724 --> 00:28:03,344 THEY ARE MINE, AND I AM THEIRS. 544 00:28:03,344 --> 00:28:06,000 AND I'M GONNA MISS THEM WITH EVERYTHING. 545 00:28:06,000 --> 00:28:09,413 BUT I'M GONNA DO MY BEST TO ENJOY LIFE. 546 00:28:10,758 --> 00:28:13,793 I'M TAKING SOME FRIENDS WITH ME FOR MORAL SUPPORT, 547 00:28:13,793 --> 00:28:17,724 WHO ARE ALL DR. NOWZARADAN'S PATIENTS. 548 00:28:17,724 --> 00:28:22,000 AND WE ARE JUST GONNA LIVE LIFE, AND I'M GOING TO TRY TO DO 549 00:28:22,000 --> 00:28:24,172 WHAT I NEED TO HELP OTHERS 550 00:28:24,172 --> 00:28:26,931 AND BUILD A BETTER FUTURE FOR ME AND MY KIDS. 551 00:28:28,517 --> 00:28:31,793 AND THIS IS JUST THE BEGINNING OF WHERE I'M GOING. 552 00:28:31,793 --> 00:28:38,379 ♪♪ 553 00:28:38,379 --> 00:28:44,724 ♪♪ 554 00:28:44,724 --> 00:28:46,689 I'M HERE IN L.A. WITH MY FRIENDS. 555 00:28:46,689 --> 00:28:48,862 AND WITH THE CONFERENCE STARTING TOMORROW, 556 00:28:48,862 --> 00:28:52,275 WE DECIDED THAT WE ALL SHOULD GO SHOPPING FOR SOME MORE OUTFITS. 557 00:28:52,275 --> 00:28:53,689 [ LAUGHTER ] 558 00:28:53,689 --> 00:28:56,827 SO WE'RE GOING OUT AND JUST HAVING A GOOD TIME TOGETHER. 559 00:28:56,827 --> 00:28:59,137 DUDE, THERE'S A DOCTOR. ARE YOU SINGLE?! 560 00:28:59,137 --> 00:29:01,724 [ LAUGHTER ] 561 00:29:01,724 --> 00:29:05,068 I'M EXCITED TO BE HERE WITH ALL THESE GIRLS. 562 00:29:05,068 --> 00:29:06,517 AND BEFORE I LOST THE WEIGHT, 563 00:29:06,517 --> 00:29:08,793 I WOULD HAVE NEVER DREAMED IN A MILLION YEARS 564 00:29:08,793 --> 00:29:12,172 THAT ANYTHING LIKE THIS WOULD BE REMOTELY POSSIBLE FOR ME. 565 00:29:14,379 --> 00:29:16,931 SO I WANT TO TAKE THE MOMENT TO REMIND MYSELF 566 00:29:16,931 --> 00:29:19,068 WHAT A BLESSING MY LIFE IS NOW. 567 00:29:23,000 --> 00:29:25,000 I USED TO EITHER HAVE TO MAKE MY CLOTHES 568 00:29:25,000 --> 00:29:26,793 OR ORDER THEM THROUGH THE MAIL... 569 00:29:29,689 --> 00:29:33,413 ...BECAUSE I COULDN'T PHYSICALLY GO TO ANY CLOTHES STORES. 570 00:29:33,413 --> 00:29:38,034 AND EVEN IF I COULD, NOWHERE HAD ANYTHING CLOSE TO FITTING ME. 571 00:29:40,344 --> 00:29:42,206 I LIKE THIS. 572 00:29:42,206 --> 00:29:45,310 BUT I CAN SHOP IN ALMOST ANY CLOTHING STORE NOW 573 00:29:45,310 --> 00:29:47,689 AND FIND A SIZE THAT FITS ME. 574 00:29:47,689 --> 00:29:50,206 LET ME JUST START TRYING ON. 575 00:29:50,206 --> 00:29:54,931 BUT HOW IT LOOKS AND WHETHER I LIKE IT IS A DIFFERENT STORY. 576 00:29:56,965 --> 00:29:59,931 AND A LOT OF THE OUTFITS THAT I'VE REALLY LIKED 577 00:29:59,931 --> 00:30:02,275 I BOUGHT WHEN I GOT TO 150, 578 00:30:02,275 --> 00:30:04,758 AND THEY JUST DON'T FIT ME ANYMORE. 579 00:30:05,448 --> 00:30:08,241 SO IT'S HARD TO STILL STRUGGLE WITH HOW I LOOK. 580 00:30:12,620 --> 00:30:14,758 -DONNA. -I'M COMING. 581 00:30:18,551 --> 00:30:20,068 -I DON'T LIKE IT. -YEP. 582 00:30:23,689 --> 00:30:26,137 MY WEIGHT GAIN IS BOTHERING ME WAY MORE 583 00:30:26,137 --> 00:30:28,172 THAN I THOUGHT IT WOULD. 584 00:30:28,172 --> 00:30:31,620 'CAUSE I STILL DON'T LIKE A LOT OF AREAS OF MY BODY, 585 00:30:31,620 --> 00:30:34,413 ESPECIALLY MY ARMS AND MY LEGS. 586 00:30:34,413 --> 00:30:37,103 SO, WITH THE EXCESS SKIN THAT I STILL HAVE AND THEN THE WEIGHT 587 00:30:37,103 --> 00:30:39,517 THAT I GAINED ON TOP OF THE EXCESS SKIN, 588 00:30:39,517 --> 00:30:41,931 I DON'T LIKE THE WAY I LOOK. 589 00:30:42,965 --> 00:30:45,862 AND LOOKING IN MIRRORS IS MISERABLE. 590 00:30:45,862 --> 00:30:49,137 THIS IS NOT AS FUN AS IT SHOULD BE. 591 00:30:49,137 --> 00:30:53,758 I'M SURPRISED HOW MUCH POWER THE MIRROR STILL HOLDS OVER ME. 592 00:30:53,758 --> 00:30:58,448 AND WHEN I LOOK IN IT AND I HATE WHAT I SEE, 593 00:30:58,448 --> 00:31:00,241 IT JUST TEARS ME DOWN. 594 00:31:00,241 --> 00:31:02,758 -DONNA. -I'M RIGHT HERE. 595 00:31:03,689 --> 00:31:05,310 I DON'T WANT TO GO OUT. 596 00:31:05,310 --> 00:31:08,068 I DON'T LIKE THE PANTS. 597 00:31:08,068 --> 00:31:09,931 -OKAY, WELL, THEN -- -I'M NOT EVEN HAVING ANY FUN. 598 00:31:09,931 --> 00:31:12,103 WELL, I DON'T LIKE THAT SHIRT. 599 00:31:12,103 --> 00:31:14,655 [ SOBS ] 600 00:31:18,068 --> 00:31:20,172 WHY ARE YOU CRYING? 601 00:31:22,034 --> 00:31:23,931 OVER THESE PANTS? 602 00:31:25,000 --> 00:31:27,413 DON'T CRY OVER THESE PANTS. 603 00:31:27,413 --> 00:31:30,931 EVEN IF YOU WERE TINY, THESE ARE UGLY PANTS. 604 00:31:32,068 --> 00:31:34,793 IT'S NOT YOU. IT'S THE PANTS. 605 00:31:34,793 --> 00:31:37,103 AND THE SHIRT'S UGLY. 606 00:31:37,103 --> 00:31:39,000 IT'S NOT A GOOD SHIRT. 607 00:31:40,896 --> 00:31:44,758 IT JUST REMINDS ME EXACTLY WHAT I'VE DONE TO MYSELF. 608 00:31:44,758 --> 00:31:46,931 NO, IT'S NOT WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO YOURSELF. 609 00:31:46,931 --> 00:31:49,448 IT'S WHAT YOU DIDTO YOURSELF, AND NOW IT'S OVER WITH 610 00:31:49,448 --> 00:31:52,310 AND NOW YOU CAN'T WEAR SPOTTED PANTS. 611 00:31:56,172 --> 00:31:59,000 I AM DOING THINGS THAT I ONLY DREAMED OF. 612 00:31:59,000 --> 00:32:03,379 SO HOW CAN A PAIR OF PANTS TAKE THAT AWAY FROM ME? 613 00:32:03,379 --> 00:32:06,620 IN THIS MOMENT, I SEE FAILURE. 614 00:32:06,620 --> 00:32:08,034 THAT'S THE TRUTH. 615 00:32:08,034 --> 00:32:10,344 I SEE FAILURE. 616 00:32:10,344 --> 00:32:12,931 BECAUSE I'M THE PERSON WHO DOES THIS. 617 00:32:12,931 --> 00:32:15,310 I CONTROL THE FOOD 100%. 618 00:32:18,931 --> 00:32:21,896 YOU KNOW, I'VE HAD A MILLION SURGERIES, 619 00:32:21,896 --> 00:32:24,172 I WEIGHED ALMOST 700 POUNDS, 620 00:32:24,172 --> 00:32:28,034 AND I'M STILL HERE 10 YEARS LATER. 621 00:32:28,034 --> 00:32:32,517 AS TERRIBLE AS THOSE PANTS WERE AND AS TERRIBLE AS TRYING ON 622 00:32:32,517 --> 00:32:35,551 SO MANY DIFFERENT CLOTHES, 623 00:32:35,551 --> 00:32:38,379 I'M NOT WILLING TO QUIT, 624 00:32:38,379 --> 00:32:43,379 BECAUSE I'VE STILL LOST AROUND 500 POUNDS, 625 00:32:43,379 --> 00:32:47,896 AND THAT'S SOMETHING I CAN ALWAYS BE PROUD OF. 626 00:32:47,896 --> 00:32:49,896 SO I CAN'T LET MYSELF START TO LISTEN 627 00:32:49,896 --> 00:32:53,896 TO THOSE VOICES THAT TELL ME I'M NOT GOOD ENOUGH. 628 00:32:53,896 --> 00:32:57,034 AND, TOMORROW, WHEN I GIVE MY TALK, 629 00:32:57,034 --> 00:32:58,896 THAT'S WHAT I'M GONNA BE REMINDING MYSELF 630 00:32:58,896 --> 00:33:00,793 THE WHOLE TIME. 631 00:33:05,793 --> 00:33:14,379 ♪♪ 632 00:33:14,379 --> 00:33:17,448 Melissa: TODAY, THE CONFERENCE IS OFFICIALLY STARTING. 633 00:33:17,448 --> 00:33:20,310 AND THE GIRLS AND I DECIDED THAT THE BEST WAY TO KICK OFF 634 00:33:20,310 --> 00:33:23,275 A WEIGHT-LOSS CONFERENCE WAS WITH A WORKOUT. 635 00:33:23,275 --> 00:33:27,310 HI, LADIES! WELCOME! IT'S SO GOOD TO MEET YOU. 636 00:33:27,310 --> 00:33:29,172 I'M LYSS.HI, LYSS. 637 00:33:29,172 --> 00:33:33,413 SO, WE'RE GONNA TRY AND SWEAT AS MUCH AS WE CAN THIS MORNING. 638 00:33:33,413 --> 00:33:35,482 WE'LL START WITH A WARM-UP, JUST TO GET THE BLOOD FLOWING. 639 00:33:35,482 --> 00:33:37,241 YOU'RE JUST GONNA MARCH IN PLACE. 640 00:33:37,241 --> 00:33:40,482 GET THE ARMS GOING, GET THE LEGS GOING. 641 00:33:40,482 --> 00:33:44,586 RESISTING THE FOOD I CRAVE IS ALWAYS HARD. 642 00:33:44,586 --> 00:33:46,586 BUT EXERCISE IS PROBABLY THE HARDEST PART 643 00:33:46,586 --> 00:33:48,275 OF WEIGHT LOSS FOR ME. 644 00:33:49,827 --> 00:33:52,344 WITH EXERCISE, I WANT TO DO IT, 645 00:33:52,344 --> 00:33:56,137 BUT THE WANT AND THE MOTIVATION DON'T ALWAYS MEET EACH OTHER. 646 00:33:58,448 --> 00:34:00,758 BUT I DON'T LIKE PHYSICAL ACTIVITY, 647 00:34:00,758 --> 00:34:03,689 AND JUST ABOUT EVERY GYM HAS MIRRORS. 648 00:34:03,689 --> 00:34:06,068 AND ONE. AWESOME. 649 00:34:06,068 --> 00:34:07,965 ALL RIGHT, SO, NOW ARMS OUT TO THE SIDES. 650 00:34:07,965 --> 00:34:10,068 SO, WE'RE GONNA DO ARM CIRCLES FORWARD. 651 00:34:10,068 --> 00:34:11,758 CIRCLE, CIRCLE. 652 00:34:11,758 --> 00:34:14,758 AND I DON'T LIKE SEEING MYSELF WHEN I'M OUT, 653 00:34:14,758 --> 00:34:17,620 BECAUSE I STILL SEE THAT 600-POUND WOMAN. 654 00:34:19,965 --> 00:34:23,206 AND YOU'RE GONNA SLOWLY ROLL UP. 655 00:34:23,206 --> 00:34:24,827 DIDN'T REALIZE THAT THERE WERE GONNA BE MIRRORS 656 00:34:24,827 --> 00:34:27,344 IN THE FRONT OF THE ROOM. 657 00:34:31,827 --> 00:34:34,379 WHEN YOU PUT ME IN FRONT OF A MIRROR... 658 00:34:39,137 --> 00:34:42,896 ...I SEE EVERYTHING THAT'S WRONG WITH ME. 659 00:34:42,896 --> 00:34:45,827 IT'S JUST WHO I AM. 660 00:34:45,827 --> 00:34:48,517 AND THERE WAS A REASON WHY I WAS 700 POUNDS. 661 00:34:48,517 --> 00:34:52,517 IT'S BECAUSE THE PERSON WHO I SEE 662 00:34:52,517 --> 00:34:55,000 HAS SOMETHING WRONG WITH HER. 663 00:34:58,448 --> 00:35:00,862 AND IT NEVER GOES AWAY. 664 00:35:00,862 --> 00:35:02,448 I AM NOT A NORMAL OVERWEIGHT PERSON, 665 00:35:02,448 --> 00:35:05,862 BECAUSE I AM STILL 673 POUNDS RIGHT HERE. 666 00:35:05,862 --> 00:35:08,275 OF COURSE.IT'S BEYOND UNCOMFORTABLE. 667 00:35:08,275 --> 00:35:10,965 EVERYTHING THAT'S WRONG WITH ME, AND IT'S NOT JUST MY SKIN. 668 00:35:10,965 --> 00:35:12,655 IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH WEIGHT. 669 00:35:12,655 --> 00:35:14,862 IT'S WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME AS A PERSON. 670 00:35:14,862 --> 00:35:16,448 THAT'S WHAT I SEE IN THAT MIRROR. 671 00:35:16,448 --> 00:35:19,379 DON'T LET THAT DISCOUNT HOW FAR YOU HAVE COME. 672 00:35:19,379 --> 00:35:20,862 AND YOU DID REALLY AWESOME TODAY, 673 00:35:20,862 --> 00:35:23,000 AND THAT'S SOMETHING TO BE PROUD OF. 674 00:35:24,448 --> 00:35:28,896 I AM WORKING ON BEING A BETTER ME 100% WAY, SHAPE, AND FORM, 675 00:35:28,896 --> 00:35:31,413 BUT I'M NOT THERE YET. 676 00:35:33,931 --> 00:35:36,551 I FEEL EMBARRASSED BECAUSE I'M SUPPOSED TO BE HERE 677 00:35:36,551 --> 00:35:41,448 ENCOURAGING OTHERS, WHEN I STILL STRUGGLE SO MUCH MYSELF. 678 00:35:42,517 --> 00:35:45,344 SO HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO INSPIRE OTHERS 679 00:35:45,344 --> 00:35:48,310 WHEN I'M SO FAR FROM BEING THE ME I WANT TO BE? 680 00:35:51,241 --> 00:35:59,931 ♪♪ 681 00:35:59,931 --> 00:36:03,172 THE CONFERENCE HAS BEEN GOING ON FOR A DAY NOW. 682 00:36:03,172 --> 00:36:06,034 AND I'M GETTING REALLY NERVOUS, BECAUSE I SPEAK TONIGHT. 683 00:36:08,758 --> 00:36:12,275 BUT I'M GOING DOWN TO MEET PEOPLE WHO HAVE REACHED OUT 684 00:36:12,275 --> 00:36:16,724 BECAUSE OF MY STORY, AND I'M REALLY NERVOUS, 685 00:36:16,724 --> 00:36:19,586 BECAUSE I'M ALWAYS AFRAID I'M GOING TO DISAPPOINT PEOPLE 686 00:36:19,586 --> 00:36:22,275 WHEN THEY MEET ME. 687 00:36:22,275 --> 00:36:26,034 BUT I KEEP TELLING MYSELF, "IF MY STORY CAN CHANGE 688 00:36:26,034 --> 00:36:30,137 JUST ONE PERSON'S LIFE OR HELP THEM OUT, 689 00:36:30,137 --> 00:36:33,551 THEN I'M WILLING TO TELL THEM ALL ABOUT MY DIRTY LAUNDRY 690 00:36:33,551 --> 00:36:37,896 AND PUT MYSELF OUT THERE TO WHOEVER WANTS TO JUDGE ME." 691 00:36:37,896 --> 00:36:41,172 BUT I'M NOT DOING IT FOR THEM. 692 00:36:41,172 --> 00:36:43,655 I'M DOING IT FOR THE PEOPLE WHO NEED MY HELP. 693 00:36:46,448 --> 00:36:47,862 THANK YOU. 694 00:36:50,241 --> 00:36:52,655 THANK YOU. I APPRECIATE THAT. 695 00:36:52,655 --> 00:36:55,206 I APPRECIATE THAT MORE THAN YOU COULD EVER IMAGINE. 696 00:36:57,000 --> 00:37:03,074 -== [ www.OpenSubtitles.org ] ==- 697 00:37:05,827 --> 00:37:08,000 THANK YOU. 698 00:37:08,000 --> 00:37:10,482 ALL RIGHT. 699 00:37:13,000 --> 00:37:17,275 NO MATTER HOW UNCOMFORTABLE PUBLIC SPEAKING MAY BE FOR ME, 700 00:37:17,275 --> 00:37:22,413 I KNOW DR. NOW IS HERE, AND I'M GOING TO BE WITH HIM. 701 00:37:22,413 --> 00:37:24,206 AND AFTER IT'S ALL SAID AND DONE, 702 00:37:24,206 --> 00:37:28,068 I'M GONNA BE REALLY EXCITED I DID THIS. 703 00:37:28,068 --> 00:37:30,862 I JUST HOPE I DON'T LET ANYONE DOWN. 704 00:37:30,862 --> 00:37:33,896 BUT I WANT TO SHARE MY STORY WITH EVERYONE HERE 705 00:37:33,896 --> 00:37:35,689 AND TO SEE HOW THEY RESPOND. 706 00:37:35,689 --> 00:37:39,172 I'M SO PROUD OF YOU. SO GLAD TO MEET YOU. 707 00:37:39,827 --> 00:37:43,586 AND EVERY TIME I TELL MY STORY AND SHOW MY OLD SKIRT 708 00:37:43,586 --> 00:37:46,206 FROM WHEN I WAS CLOSE TO 700, 709 00:37:46,206 --> 00:37:50,206 EVERYONE GASPS, BECAUSE NO ONE CAN REALLY BELIEVE 710 00:37:50,206 --> 00:37:52,517 I WAS THAT BIG AND THAT 711 00:37:52,517 --> 00:37:55,551 I'M HERE NOW, 500 POUNDS SMALLER. 712 00:37:56,793 --> 00:37:58,689 HI. 713 00:37:58,689 --> 00:38:00,137 THANKS. 714 00:38:02,000 --> 00:38:04,620 I USED TO GIVE TALKS AT DR. NOWZARADAN'S CLINICS 715 00:38:04,620 --> 00:38:07,758 TO PEOPLE CONSIDERING WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY, 716 00:38:07,758 --> 00:38:11,137 BUT THE ROOM HAD MAYBE 20 TO 40 PEOPLE, 717 00:38:11,137 --> 00:38:16,172 AND THIS ROOM HERE WILL HAVE HUNDREDS AND HUNDREDS OF PEOPLE. 718 00:38:16,172 --> 00:38:19,344 SO I'M REALLY, REALLY NERVOUS ABOUT IT. 719 00:38:19,344 --> 00:38:22,965 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 720 00:38:22,965 --> 00:38:27,172 BUT I KNOW THIS IS WHAT I WANT TO BE DOING. 721 00:38:27,172 --> 00:38:31,103 SO NO MATTER HOW SCARED I AM, I'M READY FOR IT. 722 00:38:31,103 --> 00:38:33,068 I JUST HOPE IT ALL GOES WELL. 723 00:38:39,068 --> 00:38:45,241 ♪♪ 724 00:38:45,241 --> 00:38:51,413 ♪♪ 725 00:38:51,413 --> 00:38:53,448 Melissa: TODAY IS THE BIG DAY. 726 00:38:53,448 --> 00:38:57,103 AND I JUST WANT TO DO MY BEST AND BE MY BEST 727 00:38:57,103 --> 00:39:00,517 AND LOOK MY BEST AND PRESENT MYSELF AS THE BEST. 728 00:39:00,517 --> 00:39:03,068 BUT I'M A LITTLE SCARED RIGHT NOW AT THE THOUGHT 729 00:39:03,068 --> 00:39:06,034 OF GETTING UP IN FRONT OF SO MANY PEOPLE. 730 00:39:06,034 --> 00:39:09,344 AND I JUST WANT TO DO GOOD. 731 00:39:09,344 --> 00:39:12,896 TO BE ABLE TO INSPIRE PEOPLE IS AN HONOR, 732 00:39:12,896 --> 00:39:16,103 BECAUSE I REMEMBER HOW ALONE AND HOPELESS 733 00:39:16,103 --> 00:39:20,275 I FELT WHEN I WAS CLOSE TO 700 POUNDS. 734 00:39:20,275 --> 00:39:25,379 AND THEN, WHEN I WAS 300, I STILL FELT THAT WAY. 735 00:39:25,379 --> 00:39:28,206 SO IF I COULD CHANGE THAT FOR ONE PERSON, 736 00:39:28,206 --> 00:39:32,206 THEN THAT MAKES THIS ALL WORTH IT. 737 00:39:32,206 --> 00:39:34,896 I'M SO EXCITED FOR YOU GUYS TO GET TO KNOW DR. NOW 738 00:39:34,896 --> 00:39:36,206 ON A DIFFERENT LEVEL, BECAUSE ON THE SHOW, 739 00:39:36,206 --> 00:39:37,586 WE SEE HIS BEDSIDE MANNERS. 740 00:39:37,586 --> 00:39:38,862 I LIKE IT. I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU, 741 00:39:38,862 --> 00:39:40,965 BUT I LIKE WHEN HE'S LIKE, "KNOCK IT OFF. 742 00:39:40,965 --> 00:39:42,413 WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" 743 00:39:42,413 --> 00:39:44,586 LET'S BRING UP DR. NOWZARADAN. 744 00:39:44,586 --> 00:39:46,551 COME ON UP, DR. NOW. 745 00:39:46,551 --> 00:39:50,344 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 746 00:39:50,344 --> 00:39:53,620 YES, YES. COME TO MY LIVING ROOM. HAVE A SEAT. 747 00:39:53,620 --> 00:39:56,000 SO, WE'RE GONNA JUST CHAT IT UP, AND WE'RE GONNA IGNORE 748 00:39:56,000 --> 00:39:57,896 THAT THERE'S LIKE 500 PEOPLE IN HERE. 749 00:39:57,896 --> 00:40:01,137 [ APPLAUSE ] 750 00:40:03,862 --> 00:40:06,517 OKAY, SO, SINCE THE CONCEPTION OF YOUR PRACTICE, 751 00:40:06,517 --> 00:40:08,931 YOU'VE ALWAYS FOCUSED ON THE MORBIDLY OBESE. 752 00:40:08,931 --> 00:40:10,655 OKAY, EXPLAIN TO US WHY THAT IS, DOCTOR. 753 00:40:10,655 --> 00:40:12,896 WELL, WHEN I STARTED MY PRACTICE, 754 00:40:12,896 --> 00:40:15,620 I TOOK CARE OF ALL THE PATIENTS, 755 00:40:15,620 --> 00:40:18,068 REGARDLESS HOW HEAVY THEY WERE. 756 00:40:18,068 --> 00:40:22,275 I FELT LIKE WE HAVE TO PROVIDE CARE FOR THESE PEOPLE. 757 00:40:22,275 --> 00:40:23,551 BUT THE ONLY THING IS -- 758 00:40:23,551 --> 00:40:25,862 THERE WAS A CHALLENGE OF GETTING AN OPERATING TABLE, 759 00:40:25,862 --> 00:40:28,793 BECAUSE THE OPERATING TABLE IN THOSE DAYS 760 00:40:28,793 --> 00:40:30,758 WOULD GO UP TO 400. 761 00:40:33,034 --> 00:40:38,000 WELL, WE'VE GOT TO GET THESE TWO TABLES STRAPPED TOGETHER. 762 00:40:40,310 --> 00:40:43,103 AND WE'VE GOT TWO PIECES OF PLASTIC 763 00:40:43,103 --> 00:40:45,517 THAT THEY CAN FIT IN THE MOLD. 764 00:40:45,517 --> 00:40:53,655 ♪♪ 765 00:40:53,655 --> 00:41:01,862 ♪♪ 766 00:41:01,862 --> 00:41:04,206 ONCE WE GET THESE TWO TIED UP, 767 00:41:04,206 --> 00:41:07,517 WE'RE GONNA BE READY FOR SURGERY. 768 00:41:07,517 --> 00:41:09,793 MY COLLEAGUES -- THEY WOULD COME IN AND THEY SAID, 769 00:41:09,793 --> 00:41:11,862 "WHY ARE YOU TAKING OBESE PATIENTS? 770 00:41:11,862 --> 00:41:15,724 THEY ATE THEMSELVES TO DEATH, AND YOU'RE TAKING CARE OF THEM." 771 00:41:15,724 --> 00:41:17,448 AND I KEEP EXPLAINING TO THEM 772 00:41:17,448 --> 00:41:20,482 THAT THIS IS A DISEASE BEYOND THEIR CONTROL. 773 00:41:20,482 --> 00:41:22,551 [ APPLAUSE ]YOU HAVE... 774 00:41:22,551 --> 00:41:26,448 YOU, ALONG WITH THE VERY VULNERABLE PATIENTS, 775 00:41:26,448 --> 00:41:28,448 WHO HAVE BEEN SO GRACIOUS INTO LETTING US 776 00:41:28,448 --> 00:41:31,793 FOLLOW THIS JOURNEY THAT IS SO SHAMEFUL FOR SO MANY OF US. 777 00:41:31,793 --> 00:41:33,551 THANK YOU FOR DOING THAT FOR US. 778 00:41:33,551 --> 00:41:36,517 [ APPLAUSE ] 779 00:41:36,517 --> 00:41:39,034 SO, WE HAVE MS. MELISSA MORRIS. 780 00:41:39,034 --> 00:41:43,137 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 781 00:41:43,137 --> 00:41:52,655 ♪♪ 782 00:41:52,655 --> 00:41:53,758 MELISSA, YOU STARTED OUT -- 783 00:41:53,758 --> 00:41:55,620 YOUR HEAVIEST WAS? 784 00:41:55,620 --> 00:41:56,896 673. 785 00:41:56,896 --> 00:41:58,413 673. 786 00:41:58,413 --> 00:42:00,655 YEAH.AND YOU LOST HOW MUCH? 787 00:42:00,655 --> 00:42:03,068 487 POUNDS. 788 00:42:03,068 --> 00:42:05,758 487 POUNDS. 789 00:42:05,758 --> 00:42:08,310 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]WOW. WOW. 790 00:42:08,310 --> 00:42:09,620 SO, DID YOU THINK YOUR LIFE WOULD BE 791 00:42:09,620 --> 00:42:10,758 ANYTHING LIKE THIS? 792 00:42:10,758 --> 00:42:13,034 NO, I HAD NO CLUE. I WAS READY TO DIE. 793 00:42:13,034 --> 00:42:14,448 WHEN I WENT IN TO SEE HIM, 794 00:42:14,448 --> 00:42:17,655 I KNEW I WAS EITHER GONNA HAVE THIS SURGERY AND LIVE 795 00:42:17,655 --> 00:42:19,172 OR HAVE THIS SURGERY AND DIE. 796 00:42:19,172 --> 00:42:21,413 EITHER ONE THAT HAPPENED, I DIDN'T CARE AT THAT POINT. 797 00:42:21,413 --> 00:42:22,689 YEAH. I WAS DONE. 798 00:42:22,689 --> 00:42:25,655 IT WAS, EITHER WAY, LIVE OR DIE, I WAS DOING IT. 799 00:42:25,655 --> 00:42:28,241 AND MOM AND DAD WERE PREPARED TO BURY ME. 800 00:42:28,241 --> 00:42:30,448 AT 30 YEARS OLD, THEY WERE PREPARING -- 801 00:42:30,448 --> 00:42:32,068 THEY WERE THINKING, IN THEIR HEAD, 802 00:42:32,068 --> 00:42:34,344 "OH, GOD, IF SHE DIES IN TEXAS, 803 00:42:34,344 --> 00:42:36,517 HOW ARE THEY GONNA FIND A COFFIN THAT BIG? 804 00:42:36,517 --> 00:42:39,586 HOW ARE WE GONNA GET HER HOME, WHERE SHE BELONGS?" 805 00:42:39,586 --> 00:42:42,655 AND NO PARENT SHOULD EVER HAVE TO DO THAT. 806 00:42:42,655 --> 00:42:45,827 SO, WHEN I WENT TO SEE HIM, I WAS DONE. 807 00:42:45,827 --> 00:42:47,310 SO, THAT BRINGS US TO THIS POINT, DR. NOW. 808 00:42:47,310 --> 00:42:48,689 HOW WAS SHE AS A PATIENT? 809 00:42:48,689 --> 00:42:50,000 Dr. Nowzaradan: MELISSA HAS DONE GREAT. 810 00:42:50,000 --> 00:42:53,068 YOU KNOW, SHE WAS IMMOBILE AND SHE NEEDED HELP. 811 00:42:53,068 --> 00:42:56,827 AND SHE DID VERY WELL AND SHE LOST THAT WEIGHT. 812 00:42:56,827 --> 00:42:59,689 AND THEN SHE GOT PREGNANT AND GAINED SOME. 813 00:42:59,689 --> 00:43:01,758 AND THEN SHE GOT PREGNANT A THIRD TIME, 814 00:43:01,758 --> 00:43:05,551 AND NOW SHE'S LOSING THE THIRD PREGNANCY'S WEIGHT. 815 00:43:05,551 --> 00:43:07,586 LET ME BE HONEST ABOUT ME AS A PATIENT. 816 00:43:07,586 --> 00:43:10,793 HE SAYS NICE THINGS TO ME, BUT EVERY VISIT I HAD, 817 00:43:10,793 --> 00:43:14,379 I LEFT HIS OFFICE CRYING EVERY VISIT, 818 00:43:14,379 --> 00:43:19,275 BECAUSE HE TELLS THE 100% TRUTH, 819 00:43:19,275 --> 00:43:22,000 AND WE, AS BIG PEOPLE, DON'T WANT TO HEAR THAT. 820 00:43:22,000 --> 00:43:24,310 AND I WAS LIKE, "HE HATES ME." 821 00:43:24,310 --> 00:43:26,275 AND HE WAS LIKE, "NO, I DON'T HATE YOU, 822 00:43:26,275 --> 00:43:28,137 BUT THE SCALE DON'T LIE, AND PEOPLE DO." 823 00:43:28,137 --> 00:43:30,137 AND I WAS LIKE, "IS HE CALLING ME A LIAR?" 824 00:43:30,137 --> 00:43:32,068 [ LAUGHTER ] 825 00:43:32,068 --> 00:43:36,586 ONE MAN ON THIS PLANET HAS FAITH IN ME. 826 00:43:36,586 --> 00:43:37,862 [ APPLAUSE ] 827 00:43:37,862 --> 00:43:39,206 OKAY, CAN YOU SHARE YOUR CLOTHES? 828 00:43:39,206 --> 00:43:41,310 I KNOW YOU BROUGHT US SOME CLOTHES. 829 00:43:41,310 --> 00:43:43,000 THIS IS MY GOING-OUT SKIRT, 830 00:43:43,000 --> 00:43:44,344 'CAUSE, YOU KNOW, WE ALL HAVE, LIKE, 831 00:43:44,344 --> 00:43:46,551 WHEN-YOU-GO-IN- PUBLIC SKIRT. 832 00:43:48,034 --> 00:43:49,172 [ AUDIENCE GASPS ]WOW. 833 00:43:49,172 --> 00:43:52,137 OKAY, HERE, LET ME HOLD THIS SIDE. 834 00:43:52,137 --> 00:43:54,000 YOU HAVE TO GO THIS WAY. 835 00:43:54,000 --> 00:43:56,034 THIS IS THE WAY YOU HAVE TO DO IT. 836 00:43:56,034 --> 00:43:58,413 LIKE, IT WAS STRETCHED TO THE MAX. 837 00:43:58,413 --> 00:44:00,379 CAN YOU GUYS SEE THIS? 838 00:44:02,000 --> 00:44:03,620 WOW. 839 00:44:03,620 --> 00:44:06,241 [ APPLAUSE ] 840 00:44:06,241 --> 00:44:07,448 AMAZING. 841 00:44:07,448 --> 00:44:09,517 EVERYONE WANTS TO KNOW 842 00:44:09,517 --> 00:44:12,413 WHAT'S GOING ON WITH THE MARRIAGE? 843 00:44:12,413 --> 00:44:14,241 I'M GOING THROUGH A DIVORCE. 844 00:44:14,241 --> 00:44:15,586 [ AUDIENCE "AWW"s ] 845 00:44:15,586 --> 00:44:17,034 IT'S NOT "AWW." 846 00:44:17,034 --> 00:44:20,448 WE ARE MUCH BETTER FRIENDS THAN WE ARE HUSBAND AND WIFE, 847 00:44:20,448 --> 00:44:22,965 'CAUSE I HAVE NO EXPECTATIONS OF HIM. 848 00:44:22,965 --> 00:44:25,758 HE KNOWS WHAT HE HAS TO DO, AND I KNOW WHAT I HAVE TO DO. 849 00:44:25,758 --> 00:44:29,379 AND WHEN I'M RELYING ON ME, THEN THAT'S ALL THAT IS, IS ME. 850 00:44:29,379 --> 00:44:33,068 IT'S MUCH HARDER, IT'S NOT MY PLAN, 851 00:44:33,068 --> 00:44:35,310 BUT IT IS WHAT IT IS, AND I'M OKAY WITH IT. 852 00:44:35,310 --> 00:44:36,965 I'M OKAY WITH IT. 853 00:44:36,965 --> 00:44:41,413 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 854 00:44:41,413 --> 00:44:44,655 Melissa: WHEN I GOT UP THERE AND LOOKED OUT INTO THE CROWD, 855 00:44:44,655 --> 00:44:46,931 I GOT REALLY SCARED. 856 00:44:48,206 --> 00:44:51,275 BUT I AM SO GLAD I DID THIS. 857 00:44:51,275 --> 00:44:54,551 AND I'M REALLY GLAD DR. NOW GOT THIS CHANCE TO SHARE 858 00:44:54,551 --> 00:44:58,965 MORE OF HIS MESSAGE OF NEVER GIVING UP ON ANYONE. 859 00:44:58,965 --> 00:45:02,448 AND GIVING SOMEONE LIKE ME THE OPPORTUNITY TO HAVE SOMEONE 860 00:45:02,448 --> 00:45:06,517 WHO BELIEVES IN THEM IS ALL THEY NEED TO CHANGE THEIR LIFE. 861 00:45:06,517 --> 00:45:10,482 I JUST HOPE THIS HAS ALL HELPED OTHERS BELIEVE THEY CAN DO IT 862 00:45:10,482 --> 00:45:14,103 AND TO NEVER GIVE UP HOPE, BECAUSE THERE ARE PEOPLE 863 00:45:14,103 --> 00:45:16,586 OUT THERE THAT WILL BELIEVE IN THEM 864 00:45:16,586 --> 00:45:20,172 IF THEY'RE WILLING TO TRY AND FIGHT. 865 00:45:20,172 --> 00:45:22,551 AND I DON'T WANT TO STOP HERE. 866 00:45:22,551 --> 00:45:24,482 I WANT TO KEEP TAKING THAT MESSAGE 867 00:45:24,482 --> 00:45:27,586 OUT TO ANYONE WHO NEEDS TO HEAR IT. 868 00:45:27,586 --> 00:45:32,586 AND I'M HOPING THAT, TODAY, THIS WAS JUST THE BEGINNING OF IT. 869 00:45:40,931 --> 00:45:46,724 ♪♪ 870 00:45:46,724 --> 00:45:52,551 ♪♪ 871 00:45:52,551 --> 00:45:53,862 WHICH COLOR IS THAT? 872 00:45:53,862 --> 00:45:56,344 BLUE. RIGHT THERE. 873 00:45:56,344 --> 00:45:58,379 Melissa: IT'S BEEN A COUPLE MONTHS SINCE I'VE BEEN BACK 874 00:45:58,379 --> 00:46:00,620 FROM THE CONFERENCE. 875 00:46:00,620 --> 00:46:03,344 AND IT WAS TRULY AN INCREDIBLE TIME. 876 00:46:03,344 --> 00:46:06,517 IT GOES IN THIS ONE. WHAT'D YOU PUT IT THERE FOR? 877 00:46:06,517 --> 00:46:08,206 BUT I'M SO GLAD THAT I WENT 878 00:46:08,206 --> 00:46:11,793 BECAUSE IT WAS SUCH A WONDERFUL EXPERIENCE. 879 00:46:11,793 --> 00:46:15,413 GOING TO THE OBESITY CONFERENCE REALLY OPENED MY MIND 880 00:46:15,413 --> 00:46:19,413 AND EYES TO THE SHEER AMOUNT OF PEOPLE WHO NEED AND WANT HELP. 881 00:46:19,413 --> 00:46:23,034 AND AFTER GOING THERE, IT'S AMAZING THE AMOUNT OF PEOPLE 882 00:46:23,034 --> 00:46:24,827 WHO HAS CONTACTED ME, 883 00:46:24,827 --> 00:46:28,620 SAYING, "PLEASE HELP," AT EVERY SIZE. 884 00:46:28,620 --> 00:46:31,862 SO, ALL THIS HAS JUST DONE MORE TO INSPIRE ME 885 00:46:31,862 --> 00:46:33,517 TO BE A MOTIVATIONAL SPEAKER 886 00:46:33,517 --> 00:46:36,655 TO THE PEOPLE STRUGGLING TO LOSE WEIGHT, 887 00:46:36,655 --> 00:46:41,689 WHETHER THEY NEED TO LOSE 200 POUNDS OR 500 POUNDS. 888 00:46:41,689 --> 00:46:42,965 SO I'M GOING TO START TRYING 889 00:46:42,965 --> 00:46:46,517 TO FIND MORE OPPORTUNITIES TO DO THAT. 890 00:46:46,517 --> 00:46:48,896 BUT TRYING TO MOTIVATE OTHERS DOESN'T MEAN 891 00:46:48,896 --> 00:46:52,896 I STILL DON'T HAVE MY ISSUES. 892 00:46:52,896 --> 00:46:55,620 I WANT TO QUIT EVERY DAY. EVERY DAY, I WANT TO QUIT. 893 00:46:55,620 --> 00:46:58,206 EVERY DAY, I WANT TO SIT DOWN. I WANT TO EAT. 894 00:46:58,206 --> 00:47:01,517 I WANT TO JUST STUFF MY FACE, AND I DON'T. 895 00:47:01,517 --> 00:47:04,310 IT'S A STRUGGLE EVERY DAY. 896 00:47:04,310 --> 00:47:07,000 BUT OVER THE LAST 11 YEARS, 897 00:47:07,000 --> 00:47:10,517 I'VE LEARNED HOW TO PICK MYSELF UP AND TO KEEP GOING. 898 00:47:12,034 --> 00:47:17,655 I STILL HIT MY RUTS, LIKE THE ONE I'VE BEEN IN FOR A WHILE. 899 00:47:17,655 --> 00:47:21,482 BUT I KEEP TRYING, AND I DON'T GIVE UP. 900 00:47:21,482 --> 00:47:24,068 I ABSOLUTELY STILL SLIP UP. 901 00:47:24,068 --> 00:47:26,965 I WOULDN'T BE AT THE WEIGHT I AM IF I DIDN'T SLIP UP. 902 00:47:26,965 --> 00:47:30,275 MY BIG DOWNFALLS ARE, ONE, NOT EATING. 903 00:47:30,275 --> 00:47:34,241 TWO, LATE-AT-NIGHT EATING, BECAUSE IF I'M STRESSED 904 00:47:34,241 --> 00:47:36,379 OR WHEN THINGS ARE JUST HARD, 905 00:47:36,379 --> 00:47:38,034 I WILL GET UP AND MAKE A THING OF POPCORN, 906 00:47:38,034 --> 00:47:42,517 AND I CAN EAT A WHOLE BAG OF POPCORN ALL ON MY OWN. 907 00:47:42,517 --> 00:47:44,068 ARE YOU DOING OKAY? 908 00:47:44,068 --> 00:47:45,586 BUT ANYTIME THAT I FEEL LIKE, 909 00:47:45,586 --> 00:47:47,206 "OKAY, I'VE HAD ENOUGH, I'M DONE, 910 00:47:47,206 --> 00:47:49,103 I'M NOT GONNA PUSH FOR THIS ANYMORE," 911 00:47:49,103 --> 00:47:51,206 I TAKE A FULL-BODY SELFIE, 912 00:47:51,206 --> 00:47:53,793 'CAUSE THEN I SEE EVERYTHING THAT NOBODY ELSE SEES. 913 00:47:53,793 --> 00:47:55,241 THEY'RE LIKE, "OH, YOU LOOK NICE." 914 00:47:55,241 --> 00:47:59,310 YES, THANK YOU, BUT I DON'T LOOK LIKE I WANT TO LOOK. 915 00:47:59,310 --> 00:48:02,482 BUT I KNOW I HAVE TO PRACTICE WHAT I PREACH. 916 00:48:02,482 --> 00:48:05,103 SO I KEEP GOING. 917 00:48:06,275 --> 00:48:09,310 AND RIGHT NOW, I'M PUSHING MYSELF HARD, 918 00:48:09,310 --> 00:48:13,689 BECAUSE I WAS 250 THE LAST TIME I GOT ON THE SCALE. 919 00:48:13,689 --> 00:48:16,034 AND I WANT TO LOSE 90 POUNDS TO GET BACK 920 00:48:16,034 --> 00:48:19,344 TO MY TARGET WEIGHT OF 160. 921 00:48:19,344 --> 00:48:20,448 OUCH! 922 00:48:20,448 --> 00:48:21,689 YOU KICKED ME! 923 00:48:21,689 --> 00:48:23,827 YOU GOT ME. 924 00:48:23,827 --> 00:48:26,379 IT'S A HARD, HARD, HARD -- 925 00:48:26,379 --> 00:48:30,862 LIKE, I AM ON A MEAL PLAN FROM THE DEVIL. 926 00:48:30,862 --> 00:48:35,275 AND WHEN I GET TO 160, I'M GOING TO REWARD MYSELF 927 00:48:35,275 --> 00:48:38,172 WITH I DON'T KNOW WHAT YET, BUT SOMETHING. 928 00:48:38,172 --> 00:48:40,655 I'M GOING TO DO SOMETHING, DAGGONE IT. 929 00:48:42,620 --> 00:48:47,034 AND TO DO THAT, I KNOW I HAVE TO BALANCE LIFE. 930 00:48:47,034 --> 00:48:49,482 BUT LIFE DOESN'T MAKE IT EASY. 931 00:48:49,482 --> 00:48:53,689 THE HARDER IT GETS, THE MORE FOCUSED YOU HAVE TO BE. 932 00:48:53,689 --> 00:48:58,103 I DIDN'T EXPECT MY DIVORCE, BUT IT'S WHAT I'M GOING THROUGH. 933 00:48:58,103 --> 00:48:59,275 YOU CAN PUSH. 934 00:48:59,275 --> 00:49:01,862 AND AS HARD AS IT IS, I CAN'T LET THE EMOTIONS 935 00:49:01,862 --> 00:49:06,000 FROM THAT STEAL WHAT I WANT OUT OF LIFE. 936 00:49:06,000 --> 00:49:09,758 SO, I KNOW I HAVE LOTS OF WORK AHEAD OF ME. 937 00:49:09,758 --> 00:49:12,310 AND I KNOW I CAN HANDLE IT. 938 00:49:12,310 --> 00:49:19,931 ♪♪ 939 00:49:19,931 --> 00:49:27,586 ♪♪ 940 00:49:27,586 --> 00:49:30,517 I'M PACKING RIGHT NOW SO ME AND ALL THREE KIDS 941 00:49:30,517 --> 00:49:34,896 CAN GO TO OHIO TO SEE MY FAMILY, 942 00:49:34,896 --> 00:49:38,241 BUT MOSTLY TO SEE MY DAD, 943 00:49:38,241 --> 00:49:42,034 BECAUSE HE HASN'T MET HIS YOUNGEST GRANDSON, AUSTIN, 944 00:49:42,034 --> 00:49:44,379 AND I HAVEN'T SEEN MY DAD IN THREE YEARS. 945 00:49:44,379 --> 00:49:47,758 AND I HADN'T EVEN REALIZED IT HAD BEEN THAT LONG. 946 00:49:47,758 --> 00:49:51,413 MY DAD'S AN AMAZING MAN, AND HE'S BEEN THE BIGGEST 947 00:49:51,413 --> 00:49:55,517 INSPIRATION AND INFLUENCE ON MY LIFE. 948 00:49:57,655 --> 00:50:00,103 BUT MY DAD IS REALLY SICK. 949 00:50:02,931 --> 00:50:05,413 MY DAD, WHO TAUGHT ME TO PLAY SOFTBALL. 950 00:50:07,448 --> 00:50:14,344 MY DAD THAT TAUGHT ME, NO MATTER WHAT MY SIZE, THAT HE LOVED ME, 951 00:50:14,344 --> 00:50:16,620 THAT I WAS OKAY HOW I WAS. 952 00:50:18,689 --> 00:50:22,034 AND THIS TRIP HOME WILL PROBABLY BE THE LAST TIME I... 953 00:50:22,034 --> 00:50:30,206 ♪♪ 954 00:50:30,206 --> 00:50:33,000 BUT BECAUSE HE HAD A HEART ATTACK AND A STROKE, 955 00:50:33,000 --> 00:50:37,344 HIS DOCTORS DON'T THINK HIS HEART WILL LAST MUCH LONGER. 956 00:50:37,344 --> 00:50:38,896 AND THEY SAID THEY CAN'T DO ANYTHING 957 00:50:38,896 --> 00:50:41,965 BECAUSE IT'S TOO WEAK TO SURVIVE SURGERY, TOO. 958 00:50:44,551 --> 00:50:49,344 SO I'M GOING TO SAY GOODBYE TO HIM AND TO LET HIM MEET AUSTIN. 959 00:50:51,827 --> 00:50:53,896 BUT I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M GONNA SAY TO MY DAD. 960 00:50:53,896 --> 00:50:56,586 I'VE THOUGHT ABOUT IT A MILLION TIMES. 961 00:50:56,586 --> 00:50:58,517 DO I GO IN AND JUST PRETEND LIKE IT'S NORMAL 962 00:50:58,517 --> 00:51:01,896 AND WE SIT UP TILL 3:00 A.M. WATCHING TV? 963 00:51:01,896 --> 00:51:07,241 OR DO I GO IN AND TELL HIM THAT HE'S MY HERO AND I LOVE HIM? 964 00:51:10,793 --> 00:51:12,758 LIKE, "WHAT'S THE RIGHT THING TO DO?" 965 00:51:12,758 --> 00:51:14,793 DO YOU SAY, "OH, YEAH, I KNOW YOU'RE GONNA DIE 966 00:51:14,793 --> 00:51:18,379 AND I'M NEVER GONNA SEE YOU AGAIN"? 967 00:51:18,379 --> 00:51:21,206 OR DO YOU SAY -- 968 00:51:21,206 --> 00:51:23,827 DO YOU JUST PRETEND LIKE EVERYTHING'S NORMAL. 969 00:51:25,793 --> 00:51:27,448 I WANT HIM TO BE OKAY. 970 00:51:27,448 --> 00:51:30,000 I JUST WANT HIM TO BE OKAY. 971 00:51:30,000 --> 00:51:31,241 'CAUSE IT'S NOT FAIR. 972 00:51:31,241 --> 00:51:33,827 IT'S NOT FAIR THAT I'M LOSING MY DAD. 973 00:51:33,827 --> 00:51:35,655 IT'S NOT FAIR. 974 00:51:38,689 --> 00:51:41,275 I CAN REMEMBER EXACTLY THREE TIMES IN MY LIFE MY DAD 975 00:51:41,275 --> 00:51:44,413 HAS EVER SAID THE WORDS "I LOVE YOU." 976 00:51:44,413 --> 00:51:47,206 AND NOT THAT I EVER DOUBTED IT, NOT THAT I DIDN'T KNOW IT, 977 00:51:47,206 --> 00:51:49,620 BUT FOR HIM TO ACTUALLY SAY THE WORDS 978 00:51:49,620 --> 00:51:54,034 "I LOVE YOU," TWICE, HE THOUGHT I WAS DYING. 979 00:51:54,034 --> 00:51:56,310 AND THE THIRD TIME, I MOVED TO TEXAS. 980 00:51:59,068 --> 00:52:03,310 IF MY DAD TELLS ME HE LOVES ME, I'M GOING TO JUST LOSE IT, 981 00:52:03,310 --> 00:52:04,827 BECAUSE IF HE SAYS IT, 982 00:52:04,827 --> 00:52:08,793 THAT MEANS HE KNOWS THAT SOMETHING IS WRONG. 983 00:52:08,793 --> 00:52:13,655 AND I KNOW THIS IS GOING TO BE SO HARD. 984 00:52:13,655 --> 00:52:18,448 BUT IT'S EVEN HARDER TO KNOW THAT I MAY GET THERE TOMORROW, 985 00:52:18,448 --> 00:52:21,896 AND HE MAY NOT BE THERE WAITING ON ME. 986 00:52:21,896 --> 00:52:25,000 AND THAT'S A POSSIBILITY EVERY DAY AT THIS POINT. 987 00:52:26,655 --> 00:52:30,034 I HAVE TO BE ABLE TO SAY GOODBYE TO HIM. 988 00:52:30,034 --> 00:52:32,931 ♪♪ 989 00:52:38,068 --> 00:52:47,000 ♪♪ 990 00:52:47,000 --> 00:52:50,586 Melissa: THE KIDS AND ME MADE IT TO OHIO. 991 00:52:50,586 --> 00:52:55,103 IT'S BEEN A LONG TRIP, BUT I'M GLAD THAT WE'RE FINALLY HERE. 992 00:52:57,862 --> 00:52:59,724 AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO EXPECT. 993 00:52:59,724 --> 00:53:01,275 OH. THERE'S KYLE. 994 00:53:01,275 --> 00:53:05,137 BUT MY NEPHEW KYLE IS PICKING US UP AND TAKING US TO THE HOUSE. 995 00:53:05,137 --> 00:53:07,137 COME HERE, YOU. COME HERE, YOU. 996 00:53:07,137 --> 00:53:08,551 THEY'RE AT THE BAGGAGE CLAIM. 997 00:53:08,551 --> 00:53:10,724 WE'VE GOT TO GO DOWNSTAIRS. 998 00:53:10,724 --> 00:53:18,137 ♪♪ 999 00:53:18,137 --> 00:53:22,551 I'M JUST REALLY ANXIOUS TO SEE MY FATHER. 1000 00:53:22,551 --> 00:53:24,827 GO TO KYLE, BABY. 1001 00:53:24,827 --> 00:53:27,379 SO I JUST WANT TO GET THERE. 1002 00:53:27,379 --> 00:53:34,000 ♪♪ 1003 00:53:34,000 --> 00:53:38,275 I HAVE LOTS OF CONCERNS, BUT I WANT TO SEE HOW MY DAD'S DOING. 1004 00:53:38,275 --> 00:53:42,103 IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME SINCE I'VE BEEN THIS STRESSED. 1005 00:53:42,103 --> 00:53:44,655 BILL, WHAT'S THE WORD ON MY DAD'S CONDITION? 1006 00:53:44,655 --> 00:53:46,655 Bill: HE HAS HIS DAYS. SOME DAYS, HE'S GOOD. 1007 00:53:46,655 --> 00:53:48,827 SOME DAYS, HE'S REALLY GROUCHY. 1008 00:53:48,827 --> 00:53:50,896 HE'S ALWAYS GROUCHY.AND HE'S ALWAYS LIKE THAT, 1009 00:53:50,896 --> 00:53:52,689 SO I REALLY DON'T NOTICE A BIG DIFFERENCE WITH HIM. 1010 00:53:52,689 --> 00:53:55,172 -YEAH. -I REALLY DON'T. 1011 00:53:55,172 --> 00:53:58,379 YOUR MOM DOES, 'CAUSE SHE'S WITH HIM EVERY MINUTE OF THE DAY. 1012 00:54:00,862 --> 00:54:03,413 I HAVEN'T BEEN HOME IN THREE YEARS. 1013 00:54:03,413 --> 00:54:08,551 ♪♪ 1014 00:54:08,551 --> 00:54:11,344 I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M WALKING INTO. 1015 00:54:11,344 --> 00:54:15,413 THE LAST TIME I SAW MY DAD, HE WAS MY NORMAL DAD. 1016 00:54:17,448 --> 00:54:22,793 SO IF HE LOOKS REALLY SICK, I THINK I'M GOING TO BREAK DOWN. 1017 00:54:25,758 --> 00:54:30,103 AND SEEING HIM IN ANY FRAGILE STATE IS GOING TO BE HARD. 1018 00:54:30,103 --> 00:54:31,379 OKAY, HANG ON. 1019 00:54:31,379 --> 00:54:32,896 SLOW DOWN, SLOW DOWN. 1020 00:54:32,896 --> 00:54:35,793 ♪♪ 1021 00:54:35,793 --> 00:54:38,448 THERE'S GAMMA. 1022 00:54:38,448 --> 00:54:43,551 ♪♪ 1023 00:54:43,551 --> 00:54:49,793 BUT IT'S GOOD TO BE HERE AND TO SEE HIM 1024 00:54:49,793 --> 00:54:51,655 AND TO LET HIM MEET AUSTIN. 1025 00:54:54,172 --> 00:54:57,310 IT'S BEEN THREE YEARS SINCE MELISSA'S BEEN BACK HOME. 1026 00:54:57,310 --> 00:54:58,758 IT'S VERY NICE TO HAVE HER BACK HOME, 1027 00:54:58,758 --> 00:55:02,344 AND I LOVE MY GRANDKIDS, ALL OF THEM. 1028 00:55:02,344 --> 00:55:03,827 FIRST TIME SEEING AUSTIN. 1029 00:55:03,827 --> 00:55:05,137 HE'S A WHOPPER. 1030 00:55:05,137 --> 00:55:07,586 THEY SAY EVERYTHING'S BIG IN TEXAS, SO I GUESS SO. 1031 00:55:07,586 --> 00:55:09,379 [ LAUGHS ] 1032 00:55:10,896 --> 00:55:13,172 Melissa: YOU KNOW, JUST FOR MY DAD TO SEE AND INTERACT 1033 00:55:13,172 --> 00:55:16,758 WITH ALL MY KIDS AND THAT AUSTIN IS TAKING TO MY DAD -- 1034 00:55:16,758 --> 00:55:18,310 THAT MEANS A LOT TO ME. 1035 00:55:19,758 --> 00:55:22,931 Claudia: ALWAYS NICE TO HAVE MELISSA BACK HOME. 1036 00:55:22,931 --> 00:55:25,034 I'M EXCITED BECAUSE HE'S BEEN SO SICK 1037 00:55:25,034 --> 00:55:27,413 AND HE'S GETTING TO SEE HER, 1038 00:55:27,413 --> 00:55:30,344 'CAUSE HE'S NOT ABLE TO TRAVEL RIGHT NOW. 1039 00:55:30,344 --> 00:55:34,068 I'M SCARED ABOUT HOW FRAIL HE SEEMS. 1040 00:55:34,068 --> 00:55:36,965 BUT I'M JUST GONNA BE HERE WITH HIM RIGHT NOW 1041 00:55:36,965 --> 00:55:42,034 AND TRY TO ENJOY THE TIME WITH HIM AND WITH MY WHOLE FAMILY. 1042 00:55:42,034 --> 00:55:45,896 -COME TO GAMMY. -OH! 1043 00:55:45,896 --> 00:55:48,172 -COME TO ME. -OH, THAT WAS DIRTY. 1044 00:55:48,172 --> 00:55:50,241 DO I BELIEVE THAT THIS IS PROBABLY THE LAST TIME 1045 00:55:50,241 --> 00:55:51,862 I'LL SEE HIM? 1046 00:55:51,862 --> 00:55:53,206 I HOPE NOT. 1047 00:55:53,206 --> 00:55:54,551 I HOPE NOT. 1048 00:55:54,551 --> 00:55:58,413 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? WHAT ARE YOU DOING UP THERE? 1049 00:56:01,275 --> 00:56:06,448 11 YEARS AGO, I WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN ABLE TO COME DO THIS 1050 00:56:06,448 --> 00:56:10,482 AND TO HAVE THIS CHANCE TO BE WITH MY DAD AND SAY GOODBYE. 1051 00:56:12,896 --> 00:56:17,137 SO I'M JUST GRATEFUL FOR THIS TIME AND THAT I'M HERE... 1052 00:56:21,448 --> 00:56:25,655 ...AND THAT, FOR NOW, WE CAN ALL JUST BE TOGETHER AS FAMILY. 1053 00:56:25,655 --> 00:56:31,137 ♪♪ 1054 00:56:31,137 --> 00:56:36,620 ♪♪ 1055 00:56:36,620 --> 00:56:40,344 TODAY, WE ARE GOING HOME BACK TO TEXAS 1056 00:56:40,344 --> 00:56:44,689 AFTER ABOUT A TWO-WEEK STAY HERE IN OHIO. 1057 00:56:44,689 --> 00:56:47,000 THIS HAS BEEN A GOOD TRIP, BUT IT'S TIME FOR ME 1058 00:56:47,000 --> 00:56:49,793 AND THE KIDS TO GO HOME. 1059 00:56:49,793 --> 00:56:52,241 IT'S REALLY HARD FOR ME TO LEAVE RIGHT NOW. 1060 00:56:54,620 --> 00:56:57,137 AND I DON'T WANT TO LEAVE MY DAD. 1061 00:56:57,137 --> 00:56:59,551 SO THIS IS SO HARD. 1062 00:56:59,551 --> 00:57:01,551 YOU KNOW, MY DAD HAS ALWAYS BEEN MY HERO. 1063 00:57:01,551 --> 00:57:04,103 HE'S ALWAYS BEEN THE STRONG GUY. 1064 00:57:04,103 --> 00:57:06,655 HE COULD ALWAYS FIX EVERYTHING. 1065 00:57:08,862 --> 00:57:10,689 AND TO SEE MY DAD GET OUT OF BREATH 1066 00:57:10,689 --> 00:57:13,931 JUST WALKING FROM HIS BEDROOM TO HIS CHAIR, 1067 00:57:13,931 --> 00:57:18,103 UNABLE TO OPEN EVEN SODA BOTTLES IS HARD. 1068 00:57:19,793 --> 00:57:23,931 I WORRY THIS IS THE LAST TIME I'LL EVER SEE MY DAD. 1069 00:57:23,931 --> 00:57:26,103 WE DON'T SAY GOODBYE... 1070 00:57:27,620 --> 00:57:30,034 BECAUSE HE'S MY DAD, AND IT'S NOT FAIR. 1071 00:57:34,448 --> 00:57:36,758 MY DAD DOESN'T SAY HE LOVES ME. 1072 00:57:38,241 --> 00:57:39,965 I NEVER DOUBT THAT HE LOVES ME. 1073 00:57:39,965 --> 00:57:42,344 IT'S JUST NOT WORDS HE SAYS. 1074 00:57:43,965 --> 00:57:47,310 THE ONLY THING I'VE EVER WANTED TO DO IS MAKE HIM PROUD OF ME. 1075 00:57:47,310 --> 00:57:54,827 ♪♪ 1076 00:57:54,827 --> 00:57:58,206 -THAT'S GAMMY'S BABY. -YEAH. 1077 00:57:58,206 --> 00:58:01,517 ARE YOU STAYING? HUH? 1078 00:58:01,517 --> 00:58:06,448 I THOUGHT YOU WAS GONNA STAY WITH PAPA FOREVER. 1079 00:58:06,448 --> 00:58:08,965 Melissa: OKAY, GO GET IN THE CAR. 1080 00:58:11,586 --> 00:58:14,689 Claudia: HAVING MELISSA HERE WAS ABSOLUTELY GREAT 1081 00:58:14,689 --> 00:58:19,206 BECAUSE SHE GOT TO SPEND SOME QUALITY TIME WITH HER DAD, 1082 00:58:19,206 --> 00:58:22,034 AND HE GOT TO SPEND A LOT OF QUALITY TIME 1083 00:58:22,034 --> 00:58:23,793 WITH THE GRANDBABIES. 1084 00:58:23,793 --> 00:58:27,068 THE KIDS MAKE HIM STRIVE TO DO BETTER, 1085 00:58:27,068 --> 00:58:30,344 SO I'M REALLY GONNA MISS HER AND THE KIDS A LOT. 1086 00:58:32,275 --> 00:58:34,689 ALL RIGHT, WELL, WE'LL BE BACK IN THE SUMMER, 1087 00:58:34,689 --> 00:58:36,482 AFTER ALLONA GETS OUT OF SCHOOL. 1088 00:58:36,482 --> 00:58:39,379 SO THAT MEANS YOU NEED TO BE HERE WHEN I GET HERE. 1089 00:58:39,379 --> 00:58:41,413 MAYBE. 1090 00:58:41,413 --> 00:58:43,482 [ Sobbing ] NOT "MAYBE." 1091 00:58:43,482 --> 00:58:46,517 OKAY, BABY. 1092 00:58:46,517 --> 00:58:48,275 I AIN'T GOING NOWHERE. 1093 00:58:48,275 --> 00:58:49,793 I LOVE YOU, DAD. 1094 00:58:49,793 --> 00:58:51,482 I LOVE YOU. 1095 00:58:51,482 --> 00:58:58,551 ♪♪ 1096 00:58:58,551 --> 00:59:01,689 Claudia: HE'S ALWAYS BEEN PARTIAL TO HER. 1097 00:59:01,689 --> 00:59:03,862 EVERY TIME WHEN SHE COMES UP AND SHE LEAVES, 1098 00:59:03,862 --> 00:59:06,655 HER DAD WILL FOLLOW HER OUT TO THE DOOR 1099 00:59:06,655 --> 00:59:09,482 AND STAND THERE AND CRY FOR AN HOUR AFTER SHE LEFT. 1100 00:59:12,827 --> 00:59:14,689 -BYE. -BYE! 1101 00:59:14,689 --> 00:59:15,896 -ADIóS. -TELL THEM "BYE." 1102 00:59:15,896 --> 00:59:17,655 BYE! 1103 00:59:17,655 --> 00:59:21,793 ♪♪ 1104 00:59:21,793 --> 00:59:24,206 SAY "BYE, GAMMA AND PA." 1105 00:59:27,275 --> 00:59:30,931 WALKING AWAY FROM MY FATHER AND HAVING TO SAY GOODBYE 1106 00:59:30,931 --> 00:59:34,241 IS THE HARDEST THING THAT I'VE EVER HAD TO DO. 1107 00:59:34,241 --> 00:59:36,379 I JUST REALLY HOPE IT'S NOT THE LAST TIME 1108 00:59:36,379 --> 00:59:38,827 I'M SAYING THAT TO HIM. 1109 00:59:46,068 --> 00:59:49,482 ♪♪ 1110 00:59:49,482 --> 00:59:59,275 ♪♪ 1111 00:59:59,275 --> 01:00:02,275 Melissa: I'VE BEEN BACK FROM OHIO FOR ABOUT A MONTH NOW. 1112 01:00:02,275 --> 01:00:05,103 AND I'M HERE AT DR. NOW'S OFFICE. 1113 01:00:06,000 --> 01:00:07,862 I HAVEN'T BEEN IN FOR AN APPOINTMENT 1114 01:00:07,862 --> 01:00:10,172 FOR ABOUT FIVE MONTHS. 1115 01:00:10,172 --> 01:00:13,206 BUT DR. NOWZARADAN SAID I CAN'T KEEP AVOIDING THE ISSUE 1116 01:00:13,206 --> 01:00:16,241 AND THAT I NEEDED TO COME IN FOR AN APPOINTMENT. 1117 01:00:16,241 --> 01:00:20,000 BUT THIS PAST MONTH HAS BEEN A ROLLER COASTER. 1118 01:00:20,000 --> 01:00:22,965 I'VE JUST CONSTANTLY WORRIED ABOUT MY FATHER. 1119 01:00:22,965 --> 01:00:26,827 AND I'M DREADING GETTING A CALL RIGHT NOW WITH BAD NEWS. 1120 01:00:26,827 --> 01:00:30,000 SO MY EMOTIONS HAVE BEEN ALL OVER THE PLACE. 1121 01:00:30,000 --> 01:00:31,862 MELISSA MORRIS? 1122 01:00:33,034 --> 01:00:34,896 AND NOW MY CLOTHES ARE FITTING TIGHTER. 1123 01:00:34,896 --> 01:00:36,758 HELLO. 1124 01:00:36,758 --> 01:00:39,206 SO I'M SCARED THAT I'M GAINING AGAIN. 1125 01:00:40,655 --> 01:00:44,206 MY LAST WEIGHT WAS AT 250. 1126 01:00:44,206 --> 01:00:45,448 AND I'M JUST REALLY HOPING 1127 01:00:45,448 --> 01:00:47,620 I'VE BEEN ABLE TO MAINTAIN AROUND THAT. 1128 01:00:49,758 --> 01:00:51,724 [ SIGHS ] 1129 01:00:51,724 --> 01:00:56,379 ♪♪ 1130 01:00:56,379 --> 01:00:59,896 I'M SO DISAPPOINTED IN MYSELF. 1131 01:00:59,896 --> 01:01:04,068 AND I DON'T KNOW HOW TO HANDLE ALL THIS RIGHT NOW. 1132 01:01:04,068 --> 01:01:06,758 I CAN'T GET MY CRAP TOGETHER. 1133 01:01:06,758 --> 01:01:09,551 LIKE, IT'S NOT LIKE, "OH, HER SURGERY'S NOT WORKING." 1134 01:01:09,551 --> 01:01:12,172 IT'S JUST I CAN'T GET MY CRAP TOGETHER. 1135 01:01:12,172 --> 01:01:14,137 [ KNOCK ON DOOR ] 1136 01:01:15,724 --> 01:01:16,689 HI, MELISSA. 1137 01:01:16,689 --> 01:01:18,379 HEY, DR. NOWZARADAN. 1138 01:01:18,379 --> 01:01:19,586 HOW ARE YOU TODAY? 1139 01:01:19,586 --> 01:01:20,827 I'M OKAY. 1140 01:01:20,827 --> 01:01:22,896 ALL RIGHT. SO, WHAT'S GOING ON? 1141 01:01:22,896 --> 01:01:25,103 JUST TOUGH LIFE. 1142 01:01:25,103 --> 01:01:27,172 I JUST GOT BACK FROM OHIO. 1143 01:01:27,172 --> 01:01:30,000 OKAY. HOW WAS EVERYTHING IN OHIO? 1144 01:01:30,000 --> 01:01:33,758 NOT GOOD. MY DAD IS REALLY SICK. 1145 01:01:33,758 --> 01:01:36,758 AND WHAT KIND OF PROBLEM IS HE HAVING WITH THE SICKNESS? 1146 01:01:36,758 --> 01:01:38,103 HE HAS A BAD HEART. 1147 01:01:38,103 --> 01:01:40,724 THE BOTTOM HALF OF HIS HEART IS NOT WORKING AT ALL. 1148 01:01:40,724 --> 01:01:43,413 HIS HEART'S ONLY WORKING AT 30%. 1149 01:01:43,413 --> 01:01:45,965 I'M REALLY SORRY TO HEAR THAT. 1150 01:01:45,965 --> 01:01:48,034 I KNOW THIS MUST BE HARD FOR YOU 1151 01:01:48,034 --> 01:01:50,137 AND YOUR WHOLE FAMILY RIGHT NOW. 1152 01:01:50,137 --> 01:01:52,241 AND I'M GUESSING THAT'S THE CORE 1153 01:01:52,241 --> 01:01:55,586 BEHIND THE 16-POUND WEIGHT GAIN. 1154 01:01:55,586 --> 01:01:58,241 YOU'RE USING FOOD TO COPE RIGHT NOW. 1155 01:01:58,241 --> 01:02:01,172 I'M EATING. 1156 01:02:01,172 --> 01:02:06,344 I HAVEN'T TAKEN THE TIME TO SLOW DOWN AND TAKE CARE OF ME. 1157 01:02:06,344 --> 01:02:11,068 AND IT'S NOT -- I DEAL WITH MY PROBLEMS WITH FOOD. 1158 01:02:11,068 --> 01:02:14,068 SO, WE ARE GETTING TO THE POINT THAT YOU DO NEED 1159 01:02:14,068 --> 01:02:16,827 TO GET YOUR WEIGHT UNDER CONTROL. 1160 01:02:16,827 --> 01:02:20,137 WITH YOUR DIVORCE AND NOW THIS DIFFICULT TIME, 1161 01:02:20,137 --> 01:02:23,310 YOUR WEIGHT IS STARTING TO CLIMB TOO HIGH AGAIN. 1162 01:02:23,310 --> 01:02:24,620 I UNDERSTAND. 1163 01:02:24,620 --> 01:02:26,137 I'M NOT WORRIED ABOUT YOU 1164 01:02:26,137 --> 01:02:28,310 GAINING ALL YOUR WEIGHT BACK RIGHT NOW, 1165 01:02:28,310 --> 01:02:32,000 BUT I AM WORRIED ABOUT YOU BEING 350 OR 400 1166 01:02:32,000 --> 01:02:34,068 IF YOU LET THIS CONTINUE. 1167 01:02:34,068 --> 01:02:36,379 I'LL NEVER GET 400 POUNDS AGAIN. 1168 01:02:36,379 --> 01:02:37,793 NEVER. 1169 01:02:37,793 --> 01:02:39,551 NEVER. 1170 01:02:39,551 --> 01:02:42,137 YOU WERE DOWN 150 POUNDS, 1171 01:02:42,137 --> 01:02:43,758 AND ALL THE PAST THREE YEARS, 1172 01:02:43,758 --> 01:02:46,103 YOU'VE GAINED 120 POUNDS BACK 1173 01:02:46,103 --> 01:02:48,275 AND NOW YOU'RE GAINING FASTER. 1174 01:02:48,275 --> 01:02:50,103 AS HARD AS THIS TIME IS, 1175 01:02:50,103 --> 01:02:53,793 YOU NEED TO GET BACK CONTROL OF YOUR EATING HABITS. 1176 01:02:53,793 --> 01:02:55,931 SO I'M GOING TO SEND YOU TO THERAPY 1177 01:02:55,931 --> 01:02:58,551 TO TRY TO WORK THROUGH A LOT OF WHAT YOU HAVE 1178 01:02:58,551 --> 01:03:03,000 GOING ON WITH YOUR LIFE THAT IS DRIVING YOU TO EAT. 1179 01:03:03,000 --> 01:03:04,551 WE ALL FALL DOWN, 1180 01:03:04,551 --> 01:03:07,896 BUT YOU NEED TO START TO PICK YOURSELF UP RIGHT NOW. 1181 01:03:07,896 --> 01:03:10,448 I GET IT. I UNDERSTAND. 1182 01:03:10,448 --> 01:03:11,793 IT DOESN'T MAKE IT EASY. 1183 01:03:11,793 --> 01:03:15,206 IT DOESN'T MEAN THAT I'M GONNA FIX IT TOMORROW. 1184 01:03:15,206 --> 01:03:17,620 IT MEANS I UNDERSTAND. 1185 01:03:17,620 --> 01:03:19,310 I JUST... 1186 01:03:23,758 --> 01:03:27,000 YOU'RE GETTING BACK TO LETTING EMOTION 1187 01:03:27,000 --> 01:03:29,172 TAKE OVER YOUR EATING HABIT, 1188 01:03:29,172 --> 01:03:32,034 EMOTION TAKE CARE OF YOUR LIFE, AND ALL THAT. 1189 01:03:32,034 --> 01:03:36,068 SO WE NEED TO GET THIS UNDER CONTROL NOW. 1190 01:03:36,068 --> 01:03:39,241 Dr. Nowzaradan: MELISSA HAS HAD A REALLY ROUGH PERIOD 1191 01:03:39,241 --> 01:03:43,448 OF HER LIFE, BUT HER EMOTIONS AND HER STRUGGLE RIGHT NOW 1192 01:03:43,448 --> 01:03:47,655 AREN'T A JUSTIFICATION FOR HER OVEREATING AND GAINING, 1193 01:03:47,655 --> 01:03:50,689 BECAUSE WHAT SHE'S SACRIFICING IS HER HEALTH 1194 01:03:50,689 --> 01:03:53,655 AND THE LIFE SHE WANTS FOR HERSELF. 1195 01:03:53,655 --> 01:03:56,034 AND IT'S GOING TO BE EXTREMELY TOUGH FOR HER 1196 01:03:56,034 --> 01:03:59,137 TO STAY ON TRACK DURING THIS TIME. 1197 01:03:59,137 --> 01:04:02,275 BUT SHE'S STARTING TO LET THIS INCREMENTAL GAIN 1198 01:04:02,275 --> 01:04:04,310 GO TOO HIGH AT THIS POINT. 1199 01:04:04,310 --> 01:04:08,896 AND EVEN IF SHE'S NOT IN DANGER OF GETTING OVER 600 POUNDS, 1200 01:04:08,896 --> 01:04:13,862 SHE CAN EASILY FIND HERSELF AT 300 TO 400 POUNDS SOON. 1201 01:04:13,862 --> 01:04:16,724 AND THAT'S NOT A HEALTHY PLACE EITHER. 1202 01:04:16,724 --> 01:04:20,034 SO HOPEFULLY GOING BACK TO THERAPY WILL HELP HER START 1203 01:04:20,034 --> 01:04:23,482 TO GET CONTROL OF HER EMOTIONAL EATING AGAIN. 1204 01:04:23,482 --> 01:04:25,931 MELISSA, YOU'RE GOING TO BE FINE. 1205 01:04:25,931 --> 01:04:29,068 LIFE IS TOUGH, AND THERE'S NOTHING ANYONE CAN SAY 1206 01:04:29,068 --> 01:04:32,172 SOMETIMES TO MAKE IT ANY BETTER. 1207 01:04:32,172 --> 01:04:35,344 BUT I'M SO SORRY THIS IS SUCH A HARD TIME. 1208 01:04:35,344 --> 01:04:38,586 AND AS HARD AS IT IS, YOU HAVE TO DECIDE 1209 01:04:38,586 --> 01:04:42,310 IF YOU WANT TO SACRIFICE YOUR HEALTH BECAUSE OF IT. 1210 01:04:42,310 --> 01:04:46,068 I WANT TO BE ABLE TO FIX MYSELF. 1211 01:04:46,068 --> 01:04:49,724 AND HOW IS EVERYTHING? NOTHING'S GOOD. 1212 01:04:50,517 --> 01:04:52,310 WHAT DO YOU MEAN? 1213 01:04:52,310 --> 01:04:53,551 MY DAD IS IN THE HOSPITAL. 1214 01:04:53,551 --> 01:04:55,206 AND I KNOW IT'S SOMETHING I CAN'T CONTROL, 1215 01:04:55,206 --> 01:04:56,379 BUT THAT'S MY DAD. 1216 01:04:56,379 --> 01:04:59,310 AND BEING A MOM IS HARD. 1217 01:04:59,310 --> 01:05:03,275 BEING A MOM BY YOURSELF IS TRIPLE HARD. 1218 01:05:04,344 --> 01:05:06,758 IT CAN HELP TO FOCUS ON ALL THE GOOD 1219 01:05:06,758 --> 01:05:08,137 IN YOUR LIFE STILL. 1220 01:05:08,137 --> 01:05:11,000 YOU HAVE THREE LITTLE KIDS DEPENDING ON YOU 1221 01:05:11,000 --> 01:05:13,206 THAT HAVE BEEN YOUR MOTIVATION. 1222 01:05:13,206 --> 01:05:16,344 FOCUS ON THEM AND THE JOY THAT IS THERE. 1223 01:05:16,344 --> 01:05:18,896 BUT MAKE SURE YOU GO TO THERAPY 1224 01:05:18,896 --> 01:05:21,137 SO YOU CAN TALK ABOUT ALL THIS, 1225 01:05:21,137 --> 01:05:23,931 BEFORE IT GETS WORSE OR EVEN HARDER, 1226 01:05:23,931 --> 01:05:26,793 BECAUSE FOOD COMFORT IS THE ONLY THING RIGHT NOW 1227 01:05:26,793 --> 01:05:29,068 THAT'S KEEPING YOU GOING. 1228 01:05:29,068 --> 01:05:32,206 SO, I'M STILL GOING TO GIVE YOU A WEIGHT-LOSS GOAL. 1229 01:05:32,206 --> 01:05:36,517 I WANT YOU TO LOSE 10 POUNDS EACH MONTH, OKAY? 1230 01:05:36,517 --> 01:05:38,413 YOU CAN DO THIS, MELISSA, 1231 01:05:38,413 --> 01:05:41,586 AND YOU'RE A LOT STRONGER THAN YOU THINK YOU ARE. 1232 01:05:41,586 --> 01:05:43,137 I'LL SEE YOU IN ONE MONTH. 1233 01:05:43,137 --> 01:05:45,551 I'LL EXPECT IT THAT YOU LOSE 10 POUNDS, OKAY? 1234 01:05:45,551 --> 01:05:47,620 OKAY. ALL RIGHT. 1235 01:05:47,620 --> 01:05:53,413 ♪♪ 1236 01:05:53,413 --> 01:05:59,206 ♪♪ 1237 01:05:59,206 --> 01:06:02,862 Melissa: IT WENT JUST LIKE I EXPECTED. 1238 01:06:02,862 --> 01:06:04,103 HE'S RIGHT. 1239 01:06:04,103 --> 01:06:06,482 I KNOW WHAT TO DO, AND I KNOW NOT WHAT TO DO. 1240 01:06:09,137 --> 01:06:15,275 I KNOW I HAVE TO MAKE A CHANGE, BUT IT'S JUST SO HARD RIGHT NOW. 1241 01:06:15,275 --> 01:06:18,517 DR. NOWZARADAN ALWAYS SAYS HE BELIEVES IN ME, AND LOOK -- 1242 01:06:18,517 --> 01:06:21,034 I FAILED HIM AGAIN. 1243 01:06:21,034 --> 01:06:24,551 AND HIM SAYING THAT I WAS GONNA BE BACK AT 400 POUNDS -- 1244 01:06:24,551 --> 01:06:26,827 IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN. 1245 01:06:28,965 --> 01:06:31,379 BUT I'M SCARED, BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW 1246 01:06:31,379 --> 01:06:33,206 HOW TO HANDLE ALL THIS RIGHT NOW. 1247 01:06:36,103 --> 01:06:41,758 ♪♪ 1248 01:06:41,758 --> 01:06:43,379 CHRIS IS WATCHING THE KIDS RIGHT NOW 1249 01:06:43,379 --> 01:06:47,206 SO I CAN HEAD TO THERAPY TO START TO DEAL WITH MY EMOTIONS 1250 01:06:47,206 --> 01:06:51,758 AND EVERYTHING I'M GOING THROUGH AND THAT, AT MY CORE, 1251 01:06:51,758 --> 01:06:57,137 I ALWAYS FEEL LIKE I'M WORTHLESS AND THAT I'M NOT GOOD ENOUGH. 1252 01:06:57,137 --> 01:07:01,241 THERE IS JUST SO MUCH THAT'S HARD IN MY LIFE RIGHT NOW, 1253 01:07:01,241 --> 01:07:05,000 AND I JUST FEEL OUT OF CONTROL. 1254 01:07:05,000 --> 01:07:08,896 SO I'M GLAD DR. NOWZARADAN IS SENDING ME TO DO THIS, 1255 01:07:08,896 --> 01:07:12,655 BECAUSE I KNOW I JUST NEED SOME INSIGHT AND HELP. 1256 01:07:12,655 --> 01:07:16,931 SO ANY ADVICE THAT SHE HAS THAT SHE THINKS WILL HELP, 1257 01:07:16,931 --> 01:07:18,896 I'M WILLING TO LISTEN. 1258 01:07:20,137 --> 01:07:22,103 HI, MELISSA. HI. 1259 01:07:22,103 --> 01:07:23,344 NICE TO MEET YOU. I'M RACHEL. 1260 01:07:23,344 --> 01:07:24,793 HI, RACHEL. COME ON BACK. 1261 01:07:24,793 --> 01:07:26,896 THANKS. 1262 01:07:26,896 --> 01:07:28,275 ALL RIGHT. 1263 01:07:28,275 --> 01:07:30,172 I'M GLAD YOU COULD BE HERE TODAY. 1264 01:07:30,172 --> 01:07:32,034 I KNOW YOU'VE BEEN ON THIS JOURNEY FOR A WHILE, 1265 01:07:32,034 --> 01:07:34,827 AND I'M SURE THERE'S BEEN UPS AND DOWNS. 1266 01:07:34,827 --> 01:07:36,517 WELL, TELL ME HOW YOU'RE FEELING RIGHT NOW. 1267 01:07:36,517 --> 01:07:38,034 LIKE, WHAT'S GOING ON? 1268 01:07:38,034 --> 01:07:42,827 I'M IN A TERRIBLE RELATIONSHIP WITH A MAN FOR 20 YEARS, 1269 01:07:42,827 --> 01:07:44,068 AND THERE'S NO FIXING THAT. 1270 01:07:44,068 --> 01:07:44,931 MM-HMM. 1271 01:07:44,931 --> 01:07:46,655 I HAVE THREE KIDS WITH HIM. 1272 01:07:46,655 --> 01:07:48,344 MY DAD IS DYING. 1273 01:07:48,344 --> 01:07:49,137 MM-HMM. 1274 01:07:49,137 --> 01:07:50,793 THERE'S NO FIXING IT. 1275 01:07:50,793 --> 01:07:51,965 RIGHT. 1276 01:07:51,965 --> 01:07:55,965 LIKE, HOW DO YOU BE OKAY WITH SUPERMAN DYING? 1277 01:07:55,965 --> 01:07:59,310 YEAH, YOUR DAD WAS YOUR HERO? 1278 01:07:59,310 --> 01:08:01,827 I'M SORRY TO HEAR THAT. 1279 01:08:01,827 --> 01:08:04,482 SO, BECAUSE I'VE HAD A DIFFICULT YEAR, 1280 01:08:04,482 --> 01:08:07,965 MY WEIGHT IS UP, AND I'M UNCOMFORTABLE WITH MYSELF. 1281 01:08:07,965 --> 01:08:10,965 MY WHOLE LIFE IS CHANGING AGAIN. 1282 01:08:10,965 --> 01:08:13,379 I CAN'T FIX MY OWN PROBLEMS. 1283 01:08:13,379 --> 01:08:15,034 AND THAT MAKES YOU FEEL REALLY VULNERABLE. 1284 01:08:15,034 --> 01:08:18,965 YEAH. I CAN'T FIX MY DAD, I CAN'T FIX MY MARRIAGE, 1285 01:08:18,965 --> 01:08:21,827 AND I CAN'T FIX MY WEIGHT, WHICH IS STUPID, 1286 01:08:21,827 --> 01:08:26,034 'CAUSE I SHOULD BE ABLE TO CONTROL WHAT I PUT IN MY MOUTH. 1287 01:08:26,034 --> 01:08:27,482 WELL, I THINK WHAT I HEAR YOU SAY 1288 01:08:27,482 --> 01:08:29,827 IS THAT YOU'RE FEELING REALLY POWERLESS RIGHT NOW. 1289 01:08:29,827 --> 01:08:33,586 AND MAYBE THE WEIGHT FRUSTRATES YOU EVEN MORE SO BECAUSE -- 1290 01:08:33,586 --> 01:08:34,758 BECAUSE IT'S ONE THING 1291 01:08:34,758 --> 01:08:35,931 THAT I SHOULD BE ABLE TO CONTROL. 1292 01:08:35,931 --> 01:08:37,137 THEORETICALLY, RIGHT? 1293 01:08:37,137 --> 01:08:38,724 LIKE, I CAN'T CONTROL MY DAD BEING SICK. 1294 01:08:38,724 --> 01:08:40,172 EXACTLY.I CAN'T CONTROL THAT, 1295 01:08:40,172 --> 01:08:45,310 AND I CAN'T CONTROL MY HUSBAND AND HIS DECISIONS. 1296 01:08:45,310 --> 01:08:48,068 THIS IS A HARD TIME. YOU'RE LOSING SUPERMAN. 1297 01:08:48,068 --> 01:08:50,655 YOU'RE CHANGING A 20-YEAR RELATIONSHIP. 1298 01:08:50,655 --> 01:08:51,655 THAT'S A HUGE LOSS. 1299 01:08:51,655 --> 01:08:53,448 SO, THIS IS LIFE. 1300 01:08:53,448 --> 01:08:55,965 YOU'RE STRUGGLING TO FIND THE BALANCE OF, 1301 01:08:55,965 --> 01:08:59,517 "HOW DO I BE SAD AND GRIEVE AND STILL BE A MOM 1302 01:08:59,517 --> 01:09:01,000 AND STILL MAKE CHANGES IN MY LIFE 1303 01:09:01,000 --> 01:09:03,965 AND STILL TAKE CARE OF MYSELF?" AND THAT'S THE HARD PART. 1304 01:09:03,965 --> 01:09:07,586 IT'S EASIER TO MAKE CHANGES AND TO WORK ON YOURSELF 1305 01:09:07,586 --> 01:09:09,931 OR WHATEVER WHEN EVERYTHING ELSE IS IN A ROW, RIGHT? 1306 01:09:09,931 --> 01:09:11,310 YEAH. 1307 01:09:11,310 --> 01:09:12,965 BUT THAT'S NOT WHERE YOU ARE, AND THE REALITY IS -- 1308 01:09:12,965 --> 01:09:14,931 MOST OF US ARE OFTEN NOT THERE. 1309 01:09:14,931 --> 01:09:17,896 SO WE HAVE TO WORK ON YOUR PERSPECTIVE A LITTLE BIT. 1310 01:09:17,896 --> 01:09:20,068 THINK OF IT AS LIKE YOU HAVE DIFFERENT VOICES 1311 01:09:20,068 --> 01:09:21,758 INSIDE OF YOURSELF, ALL RIGHT? 1312 01:09:21,758 --> 01:09:24,551 YOU HAVE YOUR CRITIC THAT'S YELLING AT YOU 1313 01:09:24,551 --> 01:09:26,068 AS A WAY OF PREVENTING YOU 1314 01:09:26,068 --> 01:09:28,000 FROM GAINING ALL THE WEIGHT BACK, RIGHT? 1315 01:09:28,000 --> 01:09:29,241 IF I YELL AT YOU ENOUGH, 1316 01:09:29,241 --> 01:09:31,620 THEN HOPEFULLY YOU'LL, LIKE, GET IN LINE. 1317 01:09:31,620 --> 01:09:32,586 RIGHT. RIGHT? 1318 01:09:32,586 --> 01:09:34,655 AND THAT'S THE SHAME STRATEGY. 1319 01:09:34,655 --> 01:09:37,758 AND THEN YOU ALSO HAVE YOUR REBELLIOUS SELF. 1320 01:09:37,758 --> 01:09:39,413 SHE'S LIKE, "I'M JUST GONNA GO TO THE DRIVE-THROUGH 1321 01:09:39,413 --> 01:09:41,482 AND ALL THE RESTAURANTS 'CAUSE I CAN, 1322 01:09:41,482 --> 01:09:44,206 'CAUSE I FEEL LIKE I HAVE NO CONTROL." 1323 01:09:44,206 --> 01:09:46,482 AND, SO, THAT'S JUST AN OUTLET FOR YOU 1324 01:09:46,482 --> 01:09:49,965 TO GET SOME SENSE OF POWER WHEN YOU FEEL SO POWERLESS. 1325 01:09:49,965 --> 01:09:52,758 THAT'S SORT OF A REACTIVE PART OF YOURSELF. 1326 01:09:52,758 --> 01:09:54,724 DOES THAT MAKE SENSE?ABSOLUTELY. 1327 01:09:54,724 --> 01:09:56,137 AND, SO, WHAT I'D REALLY LIKE FOR YOU 1328 01:09:56,137 --> 01:09:57,655 TO THINK ABOUT DOING IS -- 1329 01:09:57,655 --> 01:10:00,793 "WHAT IS ANOTHER WAY THAT I CAN FEEL IN CONTROL 1330 01:10:00,793 --> 01:10:02,344 AND FEEL EMPOWERED?" 1331 01:10:02,344 --> 01:10:05,068 WOULD YOU BE WILLING TO DO AN EXERCISE WITH ME? 1332 01:10:05,068 --> 01:10:06,862 YEAH. 1333 01:10:06,862 --> 01:10:08,137 SURE. 1334 01:10:08,137 --> 01:10:09,379 SO, WHAT I'D LIKE FOR YOU TO DO -- 1335 01:10:09,379 --> 01:10:10,724 OH, BOY. IT'S A MIRROR. 1336 01:10:10,724 --> 01:10:13,965 WELL, IT'S A MIRROR, BUT WHAT WE'RE DOING HERE IS -- 1337 01:10:13,965 --> 01:10:15,551 WE'RE --I HAVE ISSUES WITH MIRRORS. 1338 01:10:15,551 --> 01:10:18,689 WE'RE NOT LOOKING AT, LIKE, THE JUDGMENT 1339 01:10:18,689 --> 01:10:20,758 AND THE CRITICISM, RIGHT? 1340 01:10:20,758 --> 01:10:22,724 WE'RE LOOKING THROUGH KIND EYES. 1341 01:10:22,724 --> 01:10:25,896 I WILL GIVE IT A TRY. NO PROBLEM. 1342 01:10:25,896 --> 01:10:28,172 REMEMBER, WE'RE NOT LOOKING AT THE CRITIC. 1343 01:10:28,172 --> 01:10:30,000 WE'RE NOT LOOKING AT THE REBEL. 1344 01:10:33,137 --> 01:10:37,068 AND WITH THOSE KIND EYES, WHAT CAN YOU SHARE? 1345 01:10:39,068 --> 01:10:40,172 I KNOW IT'S REALLY HARD. 1346 01:10:40,172 --> 01:10:42,482 YOU CAN TAKE A DEEP BREATH. 1347 01:10:45,172 --> 01:10:47,034 I SEE A FAILURE. 1348 01:10:47,034 --> 01:10:51,413 I KNOW THAT SOUNDS CRAZY WHEN YOU LOOK AT ME, 1349 01:10:51,413 --> 01:10:52,931 BUT I SEE A FAILURE. 1350 01:10:52,931 --> 01:10:56,620 LIKE, I HAD ALL THESE GREAT HOPES AND DREAMS. 1351 01:10:56,620 --> 01:10:58,655 RIGHT. 1352 01:10:58,655 --> 01:11:00,517 I KNOW THAT THIS IS REALLY PAINFUL 1353 01:11:00,517 --> 01:11:01,896 AND UNCOMFORTABLE. 1354 01:11:01,896 --> 01:11:03,965 MORE THAN YOU CAN IMAGINE. 1355 01:11:03,965 --> 01:11:05,724 YEAH, I CAN'T -- SURE. 1356 01:11:05,724 --> 01:11:07,275 WHAT DO YOU SEE? 1357 01:11:08,448 --> 01:11:10,206 LIKE, I DO -- 1358 01:11:10,206 --> 01:11:12,724 I TRULY, TRULY, TRULY DO KNOW 1359 01:11:12,724 --> 01:11:16,172 THAT I AM WORTHY OF SOMETHING. 1360 01:11:16,172 --> 01:11:19,724 BUT LOOKING IN THE MIRROR IS VERY -- IT'S VERY HARD. 1361 01:11:19,724 --> 01:11:21,517 WHAT DOES IT BRING UP FOR YOU? 1362 01:11:21,517 --> 01:11:23,310 WHEN I WAS A KID, I USED TO LOOK IN A MIRROR. 1363 01:11:23,310 --> 01:11:24,655 MM-HMM. 1364 01:11:24,655 --> 01:11:27,068 AND EVERY IMPERFECTION I HAD, 1365 01:11:27,068 --> 01:11:29,724 IT WAS LIKE A MONSTER LOOKING BACK AT ME LIKE, 1366 01:11:29,724 --> 01:11:31,034 "OH, THERE IT IS. 1367 01:11:31,034 --> 01:11:34,724 THAT'S WHY THEY'RE NUMBER ONE AND NOT YOU." 1368 01:11:34,724 --> 01:11:39,310 IT SHOULD BE OKAY TO BE WHO YOU ARE, PERIOD. 1369 01:11:39,310 --> 01:11:41,000 WELL, THAT'S BEAUTIFUL. 1370 01:11:41,000 --> 01:11:44,413 "IT SHOULD BE OKAY TO BE WHO YOU ARE, PERIOD." 1371 01:11:44,413 --> 01:11:46,482 AND YOU MIGHT WANT TO JUST WRITE DOWN WHAT YOU SAID, 1372 01:11:46,482 --> 01:11:48,689 BECAUSE IT WAS SO POWERFUL, 1373 01:11:48,689 --> 01:11:52,206 THAT "I AM TIRED OF BEING AFRAID." 1374 01:11:52,206 --> 01:11:54,137 I REALLY WOULD LIKE FOR YOU TO GO AND SIT DOWN 1375 01:11:54,137 --> 01:11:57,482 AND WRITE SOME NOTES ABOUT WHAT YOU SAID TODAY, 1376 01:11:57,482 --> 01:12:00,137 JUST TO REMIND YOURSELF OF WHAT WE TALKED ABOUT, 1377 01:12:00,137 --> 01:12:04,172 'CAUSE IT'S EASY TO KIND OF SLIDE BACK INTO THE OLD PATTERN, 1378 01:12:04,172 --> 01:12:05,344 YOU KNOW? 1379 01:12:05,344 --> 01:12:06,724 FIVE MINUTES A DAY. 1380 01:12:06,724 --> 01:12:08,241 YOU KNOW, GIVE IT FIVE MINUTES A DAY. 1381 01:12:08,241 --> 01:12:10,965 I CAN ABSOLUTELY DO THAT. 1382 01:12:10,965 --> 01:12:12,827 OKAY, MELISSA, WELL --THANK YOU. 1383 01:12:12,827 --> 01:12:14,827 I'VE REALLY, REALLY, REALLY APPRECIATED IT. 1384 01:12:14,827 --> 01:12:16,620 IT'S GIVEN ME A LOT TO THINK ABOUT, 1385 01:12:16,620 --> 01:12:17,896 BUT I REALLY APPRECIATE IT. 1386 01:12:17,896 --> 01:12:20,034 GOOD, GOOD. I'M SO GLAD YOU CAME IN. 1387 01:12:20,034 --> 01:12:21,068 THANK YOU. THANK YOU. 1388 01:12:21,068 --> 01:12:22,172 I'M GONNA HUG YOU, 'CAUSE I'M A HUGGER. 1389 01:12:22,172 --> 01:12:24,344 OKAY. YOU DID SO GOOD. 1390 01:12:24,344 --> 01:12:26,689 -ALL RIGHT, GOOD LUCK. -THANKS. 1391 01:12:28,344 --> 01:12:31,172 Melissa: I KNOW I HAVE TO GET MY WEIGHT UNDER CONTROL 1392 01:12:31,172 --> 01:12:34,379 AND THAT I HAVE TO DO IT NOW. 1393 01:12:34,379 --> 01:12:39,000 AND IF I DON'T, THEN I'M GOING TO BE BACK UP TO 300 SOON. 1394 01:12:39,000 --> 01:12:41,793 AND I CAN'T LET MYSELF KEEP GAINING. 1395 01:12:43,206 --> 01:12:45,827 BUT I'M WORRIED I'M NOT GONNA BE ABLE TO DO IT 1396 01:12:45,827 --> 01:12:48,034 BEFORE I GAIN A LOT MORE WEIGHT. 1397 01:12:49,172 --> 01:12:51,413 BECAUSE I CAN'T GET BACK OVER 300, 1398 01:12:51,413 --> 01:12:55,275 AND I REFUSE TO LET MYSELF GET ANYWHERE CLOSE TO 400 AGAIN. 1399 01:12:55,275 --> 01:12:56,724 [ ENGINE STARTS ] 1400 01:12:56,724 --> 01:12:59,241 BUT I KNOW I'M THE ONLY PERSON STOPPING ME 1401 01:12:59,241 --> 01:13:01,724 FROM DOING WHAT I NEED. 1402 01:13:01,724 --> 01:13:03,413 SO I HAVE TO GET BACK CONTROL NOW. 1403 01:13:09,931 --> 01:13:16,034 ♪♪ 1404 01:13:16,034 --> 01:13:22,137 ♪♪ 1405 01:13:22,137 --> 01:13:24,275 Melissa: I'M HEADED BACK TO SEE DR. NOW. 1406 01:13:24,275 --> 01:13:27,827 AND I HATE GOING TO FOLLOW-UP VISITS WITH HIM 1407 01:13:27,827 --> 01:13:30,689 BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO LET HIM DOWN. 1408 01:13:32,655 --> 01:13:34,931 BUT HE WANTED ME TO LOSE 10 POUNDS, 1409 01:13:34,931 --> 01:13:38,241 AND I WOULD LOVE TO SEE THE SCALE GO DOWN. 1410 01:13:38,241 --> 01:13:39,482 MELISSA MORRIS? 1411 01:13:39,482 --> 01:13:42,448 BUT I'M WORRIED THAT IT MAY BE THE SAME OR MORE 1412 01:13:42,448 --> 01:13:44,413 THAN IT WAS LAST TIME. 1413 01:13:46,241 --> 01:13:47,206 270. 1414 01:13:49,137 --> 01:13:50,724 [ GROANS ] 1415 01:13:50,724 --> 01:13:52,724 OKAY. 1416 01:13:52,724 --> 01:13:56,103 DR. NOWZARADAN IS NOT GONNA BE HAPPY. 1417 01:13:56,103 --> 01:13:58,413 IT'S FRUSTRATING, BUT THE FACT THAT I KNOW 1418 01:13:58,413 --> 01:14:02,482 I'M THE ONE THAT CAUSED IT MAKES IT EVEN MORE FRUSTRATING. 1419 01:14:02,482 --> 01:14:06,551 I HAVE THE TOOLS. I JUST DON'T PUT THEM TO WORK. 1420 01:14:07,896 --> 01:14:10,413 AND I KNOW I CAN DO BETTER. 1421 01:14:10,413 --> 01:14:11,275 [ KNOCK ON DOOR ] 1422 01:14:11,275 --> 01:14:13,034 COME IN. 1423 01:14:14,931 --> 01:14:15,793 HI, MELISSA. 1424 01:14:15,793 --> 01:14:17,655 HEY, DR. NOWZARADAN. 1425 01:14:17,655 --> 01:14:19,137 HOW ARE YOU TODAY? I'M OKAY. 1426 01:14:19,137 --> 01:14:20,586 HOW ARE YOU? ALL RIGHT. 1427 01:14:20,586 --> 01:14:22,137 SO, HOW IS EVERYTHING GOING? 1428 01:14:22,137 --> 01:14:26,241 IT'S -- I GET A LITTLE STRESSED WHEN I COME TO SEE YOU. 1429 01:14:26,241 --> 01:14:27,482 WHY? 1430 01:14:27,482 --> 01:14:29,655 'CAUSE I DON'T LIKE TO DISAPPOINT YOU. 1431 01:14:29,655 --> 01:14:31,655 SO IT MAKES ME STRESSED. 1432 01:14:31,655 --> 01:14:34,586 DON'T BE STRESSED AT THE TIME YOU COME SEE ME. 1433 01:14:34,586 --> 01:14:37,482 BE STRESSED AT THE TIME THAT YOU'RE EATING. 1434 01:14:37,482 --> 01:14:38,862 [ CHUCKLES ] 1435 01:14:38,862 --> 01:14:40,068 THAT'S TRUE. 1436 01:14:40,068 --> 01:14:43,034 MELISSA, YOU KNOW WHAT YOU NEED TO DO. 1437 01:14:43,034 --> 01:14:44,551 THIS IS ALL IN YOUR HANDS. 1438 01:14:44,551 --> 01:14:45,896 I KNOW. I KNOW IT. 1439 01:14:45,896 --> 01:14:49,034 AND I KEEP SAYING, "I KNOW WHAT MY PROBLEM IS." 1440 01:14:49,034 --> 01:14:50,827 I'M STILL SNACKING. 1441 01:14:50,827 --> 01:14:53,689 I'M NOT JUST EATING THREE MEALS A DAY. 1442 01:14:53,689 --> 01:14:56,379 LIKE, I'M EATING MY THREE MEALS, 1443 01:14:56,379 --> 01:15:00,172 AND THEN IF MY KIDS HAVE A BITE -- 1444 01:15:00,172 --> 01:15:02,517 A TASTE OF THEIR CHEESE STICKS. 1445 01:15:02,517 --> 01:15:04,068 LIKE, I TAKE A BITE OF THEIR FOOD. 1446 01:15:04,068 --> 01:15:06,413 SO I'M PROBABLY EATING SIX MEALS A DAY, 1447 01:15:06,413 --> 01:15:08,689 WHEN I ADD MY FOOD WITH THEIR FOOD. 1448 01:15:08,689 --> 01:15:14,689 AND I KNOW THIS, AND I NEED TO WORK ON IT. 1449 01:15:14,689 --> 01:15:18,034 I HAVE TO BE BETTER AT IT. 1450 01:15:18,034 --> 01:15:21,241 KEEP GOING TO THERAPY AND WORK THIS OUT. 1451 01:15:21,241 --> 01:15:22,448 YEAH. 1452 01:15:22,448 --> 01:15:25,551 BECAUSE THOSE ABNORMAL EATING HABITS WILL COME BACK, 1453 01:15:25,551 --> 01:15:28,793 AND YOU'RE JUST GONNA HAVE TO BATTLE WITH THEM, OKAY? 1454 01:15:28,793 --> 01:15:32,931 THAT'S THE HARDEST PART IS BATTLING WITH THEM. 1455 01:15:32,931 --> 01:15:35,793 WELL, 12 YEARS AFTER WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY, 1456 01:15:35,793 --> 01:15:37,517 YOU ARE DOING GOOD. 1457 01:15:37,517 --> 01:15:41,448 BUT YOU DO NEED TO GET ALL THIS UNDER CONTROL NOW, 1458 01:15:41,448 --> 01:15:46,586 IF YOU WANT TO AVOID GETTING IN HIGHER WEIGHT, IN 400s. 1459 01:15:46,586 --> 01:15:48,034 I KNOW YOU CAN DO THIS 1460 01:15:48,034 --> 01:15:51,517 BECAUSE YOU HAVE BEEN DOING IT OVER A DECADE. 1461 01:15:51,517 --> 01:15:53,827 YEAH. 1462 01:15:53,827 --> 01:15:58,620 MELISSA IS AT A CROSSROADS WITH HER WEIGHT LOSS AGAIN. 1463 01:15:58,620 --> 01:16:01,275 SHE'S DONE VERY WELL FOR 12 YEARS, 1464 01:16:01,275 --> 01:16:03,931 BUT IF SHE DOESN'T GET CONTROL AGAIN, 1465 01:16:03,931 --> 01:16:05,517 THEN THIS NEXT YEAR, 1466 01:16:05,517 --> 01:16:08,862 SHE IS GOING TO GET BACK UP TO THE 400s AGAIN. 1467 01:16:08,862 --> 01:16:13,103 SO HOPEFULLY, AS SHE CONTINUES TO GO THERAPY, 1468 01:16:13,103 --> 01:16:16,034 SHE WILL WORK THROUGH HER EMOTIONAL ISSUES 1469 01:16:16,034 --> 01:16:22,000 AND TAKE BACK CONTROL SOON AND GET DOWN TO 160 THIS NEXT YEAR. 1470 01:16:23,827 --> 01:16:26,517 MELISSA, YOU NEED TO FIND YOUR MOTIVATION 1471 01:16:26,517 --> 01:16:28,448 AND GET BACK CONTROL NOW. 1472 01:16:28,448 --> 01:16:30,793 YEAH.AND I KNOW YOU CAN DO THAT. 1473 01:16:30,793 --> 01:16:34,275 KEEP GOING TO THERAPY AND LOSE 10 POUNDS A MONTH 1474 01:16:34,275 --> 01:16:35,896 TILL I SEE YOU AGAIN, OKAY? 1475 01:16:35,896 --> 01:16:37,310 OKAY. 1476 01:16:37,310 --> 01:16:39,931 ARE YOU SURPRISED THAT I'M ONLY 100 POUNDS OVERWEIGHT 1477 01:16:39,931 --> 01:16:42,586 AFTER THIS LONG? 1478 01:16:42,586 --> 01:16:45,068 THIS IS NOT BAD, REALLY, 1479 01:16:45,068 --> 01:16:48,551 BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, ANYBODY 600 POUNDS, 1480 01:16:48,551 --> 01:16:54,034 I WOULD SAY 95% OF PEOPLE WILL BE OVER 400. 1481 01:16:54,034 --> 01:16:56,344 THERE'S A NUMBER THAT EVERY TIME I GET CLOSE TO, 1482 01:16:56,344 --> 01:16:57,827 I GO INTO PANIC MODE. 1483 01:16:57,827 --> 01:17:00,862 I REFUSE TO GET TO 300 POUNDS. 1484 01:17:00,862 --> 01:17:02,827 I REFUSE TO. 1485 01:17:02,827 --> 01:17:05,379 LIKE, IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN. 1486 01:17:05,379 --> 01:17:07,724 GOOD. ALL RIGHT, NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN. 1487 01:17:07,724 --> 01:17:08,586 THANKS. 1488 01:17:08,586 --> 01:17:10,758 ALL RIGHT. NICE TO SEE YOU. 1489 01:17:10,758 --> 01:17:16,448 ♪♪ 1490 01:17:16,448 --> 01:17:19,827 Melissa: TODAY IS THE FIRST TIME IT CLEARLY HIT ME. 1491 01:17:19,827 --> 01:17:24,586 DR. NOWZARADAN HAS FAITH IN ME, BUT I DON'T HAVE IT MYSELF. 1492 01:17:24,586 --> 01:17:26,862 THAT'S WHAT IT BOILS DOWN TO. 1493 01:17:26,862 --> 01:17:29,827 AS IF FROM DAY ONE WALKING INTO THIS PLACE, 1494 01:17:29,827 --> 01:17:33,413 HE HAS HAD FAITH IN ME, AND I HAVEN'T HAD IT MYSELF. 1495 01:17:36,172 --> 01:17:40,896 EVEN THOUGH I'M 12 YEARS OUT, I DON'T FEEL LIKE I'VE MADE IT, 1496 01:17:40,896 --> 01:17:43,793 BECAUSE I KNOW I'M NOT SUCCESSFUL AT THIS POINT. 1497 01:17:43,793 --> 01:17:45,655 I HAVE NOT DONE MY BEST. 1498 01:17:45,655 --> 01:17:47,413 I HAVEN'T PUT MY BEST FOOT FORWARD. 1499 01:17:47,413 --> 01:17:50,655 I HAVEN'T MADE IT MY MISSION. 1500 01:17:50,655 --> 01:17:53,034 LIKE, I FIRMLY BELIEVE THAT I HAVE THE ABILITY 1501 01:17:53,034 --> 01:17:55,758 TO CONTROL MY WEIGHT. 1502 01:17:55,758 --> 01:17:59,827 AND NOW IT'S JUST PUTTING MY MONEY WHERE MY MOUTH IS, 1503 01:17:59,827 --> 01:18:01,413 SO TO SPEAK. 1504 01:18:03,724 --> 01:18:05,862 I KNOW HE'S RIGHT, TOO, 1505 01:18:05,862 --> 01:18:09,241 AND THAT I NEED TO FIND MY MOTIVATION AGAIN. 1506 01:18:09,241 --> 01:18:12,551 SO I KNOW THAT MEANS I HAVE TO START BEING PROACTIVE 1507 01:18:12,551 --> 01:18:14,896 AND TAKE SOME LEAPS OF FAITH. 1508 01:18:17,413 --> 01:18:22,655 ♪♪ 1509 01:18:22,655 --> 01:18:27,931 ♪♪ 1510 01:18:27,931 --> 01:18:32,655 TODAY, I'M GOING TO SEE A CAREER COUNSELOR. 1511 01:18:32,655 --> 01:18:36,379 AND MY DREAM JOB IS TO BE A MOTIVATIONAL SPEAKER. 1512 01:18:37,689 --> 01:18:41,379 AND I DON'T KNOW HOW TO START THAT OR ANY CAREER RIGHT NOW. 1513 01:18:42,758 --> 01:18:46,517 I WAS ALMOST IMMOBILE FOR SUCH A LONG PERIOD OF MY LIFE. 1514 01:18:50,241 --> 01:18:53,758 AND THEN, AFTER I LOST THE WEIGHT, I WAS A FULL-TIME MOM. 1515 01:18:56,103 --> 01:18:59,068 OUTSIDE OF WORKING FOR DR. NOWZARADAN, 1516 01:18:59,068 --> 01:19:02,034 I HAVE NO JOB EXPERIENCE. 1517 01:19:02,034 --> 01:19:06,931 BUT NOW THAT I'M A SINGLE MOM, I NEED TO PROVIDE FOR MY KIDS. 1518 01:19:07,655 --> 01:19:09,793 BUT I KNOW THAT MOTIVATIONAL SPEAKING 1519 01:19:09,793 --> 01:19:13,034 ISN'T IN THE CARDS RIGHT NOW. 1520 01:19:13,034 --> 01:19:15,896 I HOPE TO BE DOING THAT SOON, 1521 01:19:15,896 --> 01:19:21,241 BUT I CAN'T PURSUE THAT RIGHT NOW, WHEN I'M GAINING AGAIN. 1522 01:19:21,241 --> 01:19:25,103 HOW COULD I TELL PEOPLE THEY CAN DO IT IF I'M NOT RIGHT NOW? 1523 01:19:25,103 --> 01:19:26,586 SO I'M TAKING A LEAP OF FAITH 1524 01:19:26,586 --> 01:19:29,551 THAT I'M GOING TO START LOSING AGAIN. 1525 01:19:29,551 --> 01:19:32,137 IF I WANT TO HAVE THE LIFE AND THE OPPORTUNITIES 1526 01:19:32,137 --> 01:19:34,689 THAT I SET OUT FOR MYSELF, 1527 01:19:34,689 --> 01:19:37,551 I HAVE TO TAKE BACK CONTROL OF MY LIFE. 1528 01:19:39,724 --> 01:19:41,896 MELISSA. HI. 1529 01:19:41,896 --> 01:19:43,275 MY NAME'S ALICIA. HI. 1530 01:19:43,275 --> 01:19:44,758 HOW ARE YOU?I'M GREAT. THANKS. 1531 01:19:44,758 --> 01:19:47,206 WELL, COME ON IN. LET'S SIT DOWN AND CHAT. 1532 01:19:47,206 --> 01:19:48,241 OKAY. 1533 01:19:50,068 --> 01:19:53,034 SO, TELL ME A LITTLE BIT ABOUT YOU FIRST. 1534 01:19:53,034 --> 01:19:54,827 I'M A MOM OF THREE. MM-HMM. 1535 01:19:54,827 --> 01:19:57,758 SECOND OF ALL, I WEIGHED 673 POUNDS. 1536 01:19:57,758 --> 01:19:58,724 WOW. 1537 01:19:58,724 --> 01:20:02,137 SO I'VE HAD A GREAT WEIGHT LOSS. 1538 01:20:02,137 --> 01:20:03,931 AND HAVING KIDS WAS MY GOAL. 1539 01:20:03,931 --> 01:20:06,310 EVERYTHING ELSE WAS JUST ICING ON TOP OF IT. 1540 01:20:06,310 --> 01:20:07,689 OKAY, OKAY. 1541 01:20:07,689 --> 01:20:10,758 SO, I SEE YOUR PERSEVERANCE IS IN YOU. 1542 01:20:10,758 --> 01:20:12,000 YEAH. 1543 01:20:12,000 --> 01:20:13,655 I'VE FOUND THAT SPEAKING ABOUT WEIGHT LOSS -- 1544 01:20:13,655 --> 01:20:17,413 OR WHETHER IT BE WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY OR WEIGHT LOSS PERIOD -- 1545 01:20:17,413 --> 01:20:18,862 HAS BEEN A PASSION OF MINE. 1546 01:20:18,862 --> 01:20:22,241 AND I WOULD LIKE TO MAKE PUBLIC SPEAKING A CAREER. 1547 01:20:22,241 --> 01:20:23,517 LIKE, IS THAT POSSIBLE? 1548 01:20:23,517 --> 01:20:25,965 DO THEY MAKE CAREERS OUT OF BEING A PUBLIC SPEAKER? 1549 01:20:25,965 --> 01:20:27,344 ABSOLUTELY. 1550 01:20:27,344 --> 01:20:30,758 THERE ARE SO MANY WONDERFUL PUBLIC SPEAKERS OUT THERE, 1551 01:20:30,758 --> 01:20:33,103 AND THEY'RE MAKING A GREAT CAREER OUT OF IT. 1552 01:20:33,103 --> 01:20:34,965 THE SAYING "YOU DO SOMETHING YOU LOVE, 1553 01:20:34,965 --> 01:20:36,448 AND THE PEOPLE WILL FOLLOW YOU"? 1554 01:20:36,448 --> 01:20:38,206 THAT'S VERY TRUE. 1555 01:20:38,206 --> 01:20:40,068 I UNDERSTAND THAT IT'S IMPORTANT, 1556 01:20:40,068 --> 01:20:41,931 BUT I DON'T KNOW HOW TO TAKE IT -- 1557 01:20:41,931 --> 01:20:43,448 LIKE, THAT'S WHERE I'M STUCK AT. 1558 01:20:43,448 --> 01:20:45,137 SO, PRETEND I'M THE AUDIENCE. 1559 01:20:45,137 --> 01:20:47,862 WHAT WOULD YOU TELL ME? 1560 01:20:47,862 --> 01:20:52,551 MY WEIGHT LOSS IS GREAT, BUT I THINK THE HARDEST PART, 1561 01:20:52,551 --> 01:20:55,379 FOR ME, WHEN IT CAME TO MY WEIGHT-LOSS STORY 1562 01:20:55,379 --> 01:20:56,517 IS THE BEGINNING. 1563 01:20:56,517 --> 01:20:57,896 AND THE BEGINNING IS GOING TO 1564 01:20:57,896 --> 01:21:01,620 DR. NOWZARADAN'S OFFICE AND STEPPING ON A SCALE 1565 01:21:01,620 --> 01:21:07,413 AND SEEING IT READ 673 POUNDS AND THINKING, IN MY HEAD, 1566 01:21:07,413 --> 01:21:10,172 THAT THAT'S NOT ASSOCIATED WITH A PERSON. 1567 01:21:10,172 --> 01:21:11,896 LIKE, I WAS RAISED ON A FARM, 1568 01:21:11,896 --> 01:21:14,931 AND THAT'S HOW MUCH OUR HOGS AND COWS WEIGHED. 1569 01:21:14,931 --> 01:21:15,931 WOW. 1570 01:21:15,931 --> 01:21:17,551 THAT NUMBER IS THE BEGINNING. 1571 01:21:17,551 --> 01:21:21,448 EVERY POUND OF MY WEIGHT WAS A POUND OF PROTECTION, 1572 01:21:21,448 --> 01:21:23,137 PROTECTION FROM MYSELF, 1573 01:21:23,137 --> 01:21:26,448 PROTECTION FROM OTHER PEOPLE WHO HARMED ME. 1574 01:21:26,448 --> 01:21:29,103 MELISSA, I THINK YOU FOUND YOUR STORY, 1575 01:21:29,103 --> 01:21:33,068 THE PART THAT EVERYONE RESONATES WITH. 1576 01:21:33,068 --> 01:21:36,482 TELLING THAT STORY WOULD DEFINITELY GRASP 1577 01:21:36,482 --> 01:21:37,965 A LOT OF PEOPLE. 1578 01:21:37,965 --> 01:21:39,275 OKAY. 1579 01:21:39,275 --> 01:21:41,724 PEOPLE NEED TO GET TO KNOW YOU, GET TO KNOW YOUR NAME. 1580 01:21:41,724 --> 01:21:45,965 SO, WHAT ORGANIZATIONS ARE YOU A PART OF? 1581 01:21:45,965 --> 01:21:47,310 NONE. [ LAUGHS ] 1582 01:21:47,310 --> 01:21:48,517 I DON'T BELONG TO ANYTHING. 1583 01:21:48,517 --> 01:21:50,275 THAT'S THE FIRST THING. 1584 01:21:50,275 --> 01:21:53,137 REACH OUT TO YOUR LOCAL CHURCH. 1585 01:21:53,137 --> 01:21:55,586 EVEN REACH OUT TO THE LOCAL SCHOOLS. 1586 01:21:55,586 --> 01:21:59,034 YOU NEED TO PUT YOURSELF OUT THERE AND HAVE MORE APPEARANCES, 1587 01:21:59,034 --> 01:22:01,931 MORE OPPORTUNITIES TO SPEAK PUBLICLY. 1588 01:22:01,931 --> 01:22:03,068 OKAY. 1589 01:22:03,068 --> 01:22:05,965 MAKE SURE THAT YOU HAVE INTERNET PRESENCE. 1590 01:22:05,965 --> 01:22:08,931 I HAVE A BIG SOCIAL-MEDIA FOLLOWING. 1591 01:22:08,931 --> 01:22:10,827 I'M SURPRISED. I DON'T KNOW WHY THEY FOLLOW ME, 1592 01:22:10,827 --> 01:22:12,517 BUT I HAVE A PRETTY BIG FOLLOWING. 1593 01:22:12,517 --> 01:22:14,896 PEOPLE FOLLOW OTHER PEOPLE BECAUSE 1594 01:22:14,896 --> 01:22:17,241 SOMETHING ABOUT THEM RESONATES WITH THEM. 1595 01:22:17,241 --> 01:22:19,793 SO IT'S ABOUT JUST OVERCOMING CHALLENGES 1596 01:22:19,793 --> 01:22:21,241 AND REACHING GOALS. 1597 01:22:21,241 --> 01:22:23,206 SO, USE YOUR FOLLOWERS. 1598 01:22:23,206 --> 01:22:25,758 LET PEOPLE KNOW THAT THIS IS WHAT YOU'RE INTERESTED IN. 1599 01:22:25,758 --> 01:22:28,103 IT IS WHAT I WANT TO DO. 1600 01:22:28,103 --> 01:22:30,103 OKAY.I SPENT A LONG TIME DOING 1601 01:22:30,103 --> 01:22:31,206 WHAT OTHER PEOPLE WANTED TO DO. 1602 01:22:31,206 --> 01:22:32,379 YEAH.AND NOW I WANT TO DO 1603 01:22:32,379 --> 01:22:34,241 WHAT I WANT TO DO. YES. 1604 01:22:34,241 --> 01:22:36,827 I THINK YOU CAN MAKE A GREAT LIVING AT DOING THIS. 1605 01:22:36,827 --> 01:22:39,482 THAT MAKES ME EXCITED BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I WANT TO DO. 1606 01:22:39,482 --> 01:22:40,793 IT'S A GREAT STORY. 1607 01:22:40,793 --> 01:22:43,896 I MEAN, I CAN'T WAIT -- I WANT TO HEAR ALL OF IT. 1608 01:22:43,896 --> 01:22:46,000 I APPRECIATE THAT. IT MEANS A LOT. 1609 01:22:46,000 --> 01:22:47,620 GOOD LUCK TO YOU ON YOUR JOURNEY. 1610 01:22:47,620 --> 01:22:49,344 THANK YOU SO MUCH. I REALLY APPRECIATE IT. 1611 01:22:49,344 --> 01:22:50,482 OH, YOU'RE WELCOME. 1612 01:22:50,482 --> 01:22:51,724 I'M A HUGGER, SO LET'S HAVE A HUG. 1613 01:22:51,724 --> 01:22:54,103 THANK YOU AGAIN. 1614 01:22:54,103 --> 01:22:55,034 AND GOOD LUCK TO YOU. 1615 01:22:55,034 --> 01:22:56,586 THANKS. THANK YOU SO MUCH. 1616 01:22:56,586 --> 01:22:58,758 I AM REALLY GONNA TAKE THIS INFORMATION 1617 01:22:58,758 --> 01:23:00,793 AND RUN WITH IT IMMEDIATELY. 1618 01:23:02,896 --> 01:23:05,689 Melissa: THIS IS A HUGE BOOST FOR ME. 1619 01:23:05,689 --> 01:23:09,655 TO HEAR EVERYTHING SHE TOLD ME WAS JUST EXCITING TO HEAR. 1620 01:23:10,827 --> 01:23:13,862 12 YEARS AGO, I WANTED TO LOSE THE WEIGHT 1621 01:23:13,862 --> 01:23:17,206 AND START A FAMILY AND GET A JOB. 1622 01:23:17,206 --> 01:23:20,793 IT MAY NOT LOOK EXACTLY LIKE I ENVISIONED IT, 1623 01:23:20,793 --> 01:23:23,206 WITH EVERYTHING THAT'S HAPPENED, 1624 01:23:23,206 --> 01:23:24,931 BUT IF I CAN DO THIS, 1625 01:23:24,931 --> 01:23:26,896 THEN I'LL HAVE ACCOMPLISHED EVERYTHING 1626 01:23:26,896 --> 01:23:29,172 I SET OUT TO DO. 1627 01:23:29,172 --> 01:23:31,655 SO I THINK TODAY HAS BEEN THE GREATEST MOTIVATION 1628 01:23:31,655 --> 01:23:34,551 I CAN FIND TO GET BACK ON TRACK. 1629 01:23:34,551 --> 01:23:36,896 SO I'M GOING TO WORK AS HARD AS I CAN 1630 01:23:36,896 --> 01:23:39,689 TO TURN MY WEIGHT GAIN AROUND 1631 01:23:39,689 --> 01:23:43,931 AND TO START TO GET OUT THERE AND MAKE A CAREER FOR MYSELF 1632 01:23:43,931 --> 01:23:49,103 AND TO BE THE MELISSA I SET OUT TO BE FROM DAY ONE. 1633 01:23:49,103 --> 01:23:52,827 IN A LOT OF WAYS, I'M STILL FINDING MYSELF, 1634 01:23:52,827 --> 01:23:56,275 AND THAT MAY BE A LIFELONG JOURNEY. 1635 01:23:56,275 --> 01:24:00,689 BUT I'M CLOSER TODAY TO BEING WHO I WANT THAN I WAS LAST YEAR 1636 01:24:00,689 --> 01:24:04,551 AND THE YEAR BEFORE THAT AND THE YEAR BEFORE THAT. 1637 01:24:04,551 --> 01:24:08,793 SO I'M GOING TO KEEP GOING, AND I'M GOING TO BE THE PERSON 1638 01:24:08,793 --> 01:24:11,310 I'VE WANTED TO BE. 1639 01:24:11,793 --> 01:24:19,620 ♪♪ 1640 01:24:19,620 --> 01:24:27,448 ♪♪ 1641 01:24:27,448 --> 01:24:35,310 ♪♪ 1642 01:24:35,310 --> 01:24:43,172 ♪♪ 1643 01:24:43,172 --> 01:24:47,034 I KNOW HOW BLESSED I AM TO HAVE THE LIFE I HAVE NOW. 1644 01:24:47,034 --> 01:24:50,103 AND I WANT TO KEEP MAKING IT BETTER AND BETTER -- 1645 01:24:50,103 --> 01:24:52,379 FOR ME AND FOR MY KIDS. 1646 01:24:52,379 --> 01:24:54,000 BRUSH THEM GOOD. 1647 01:24:54,000 --> 01:24:56,206 AND THE NEXT TIME I GET ON THAT SCALE, 1648 01:24:56,206 --> 01:24:59,413 THAT NUMBER IS GOING BACK DOWN. 1649 01:24:59,413 --> 01:25:02,517 NO MATTER WHAT, I'M GETTING BACK ON TRACK, 1650 01:25:02,517 --> 01:25:05,068 BECAUSE I'M NOT JUST DOING IT FOR ME. 1651 01:25:05,068 --> 01:25:08,482 I'M DOING IT FOR MY KIDS... 1652 01:25:08,482 --> 01:25:11,000 AND FOR THE LIFE I HAVE NOW. 1653 01:25:11,000 --> 01:25:15,241 I MAY HAVE LOST CONTROL, BUT IT'S TIME I TAKE IT BACK 1654 01:25:15,241 --> 01:25:20,310 AND I FIGHT LIKE I HAVE THESE PAST 12 YEARS TO MAKE NEXT YEAR 1655 01:25:20,310 --> 01:25:23,241 THE MOST IMPORTANT YEAR OF MY WEIGHT-LOSS JOURNEY. 1656 01:25:23,241 --> 01:25:24,724 OH, MY GOODNESS. 1657 01:25:24,724 --> 01:25:28,137 YOU LOOK SO HANDSOME! 1658 01:25:28,137 --> 01:25:31,827 AND I CAN'T WAIT FOR THAT LIFE THAT'S THERE WAITING FOR ME. 1658 01:25:32,305 --> 01:26:32,250 Watch Online Movies and Series for FREE www.osdb.link/lm