"It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" Mac and Dennis Become EMTs

1 00:00:07,883 --> 00:00:09,926 <i>Don't think this guy's gonna make it. You hear me?</i> 2 00:00:09,927 --> 00:00:11,135 <i>Did you have an OPA.</i> 3 00:00:11,136 --> 00:00:12,637 <i>I did. Breathing's irregular and weak.</i> 4 00:00:12,638 --> 00:00:14,222 - Responsive to pain? - Not at all. 5 00:00:14,223 --> 00:00:16,224 Sir, can you hear me? His lips are super red. 6 00:00:16,225 --> 00:00:17,308 Purple cyanosis. 7 00:00:17,309 --> 00:00:19,227 - Super diaphoretic. - Sweating like a pig. 8 00:00:19,228 --> 00:00:20,311 What happened to this guy? 9 00:00:20,312 --> 00:00:21,562 We don't know this guy from Adam. 10 00:00:21,563 --> 00:00:24,690 We've never seen him before at all. He's a total outsider. 11 00:00:24,691 --> 00:00:26,651 I never saw him before in the bar at all. 12 00:00:26,652 --> 00:00:29,779 His goddamn heart just stopped for no reason. 13 00:00:29,780 --> 00:00:31,906 Not no reason. You gave him a hot pepper. 14 00:00:31,907 --> 00:00:33,241 Don't... They don't have to know that. 15 00:00:33,242 --> 00:00:35,368 - Never mind that! - It was a totally unrelated incident. 16 00:00:35,369 --> 00:00:37,245 - Never mind that. - Who was that guy anyway? 17 00:00:37,246 --> 00:00:39,789 Man, just like some random dude who walked in here off the streets. 18 00:00:39,790 --> 00:00:41,791 Well, we are an open bar. 19 00:00:41,792 --> 00:00:43,543 I thought he was, like, a jazzman. 20 00:00:43,544 --> 00:00:47,046 I mean, he had a ponytail. He had a piano-key tie. 21 00:00:47,047 --> 00:00:48,923 So I pranked him with a ghost pepper. 22 00:00:48,924 --> 00:00:51,634 You'd think that a jazzman would be more accustomed to spices, you know? 23 00:00:51,635 --> 00:00:53,636 - Right? You'd think he'd be fine. - Yeah, he just dropped... 24 00:00:53,637 --> 00:00:55,680 - Here you go, Frank. One smash burger. - Oh. 25 00:00:55,681 --> 00:00:56,806 It's about time. 26 00:00:56,807 --> 00:00:58,557 Okay. 27 00:00:58,558 --> 00:01:00,268 Oh. Somebody dying or something? 28 00:01:00,269 --> 00:01:01,852 Random jazzman. 29 00:01:01,853 --> 00:01:05,398 Really? Just wandered right in off the streets? No reason? 30 00:01:05,399 --> 00:01:07,942 We are an open, working bar. 31 00:01:07,943 --> 00:01:09,902 Sorry. Wh-What's with the food delivery here? 32 00:01:09,903 --> 00:01:12,697 Oh. I'm, uh, doing a Postmates thing as a side gig. 33 00:01:12,698 --> 00:01:14,782 - On a bike? - Uh. No, no. 34 00:01:14,783 --> 00:01:18,911 Yeah, no, sorry, uh. I mean, why are you ordering food from Dee, Frank? 35 00:01:18,912 --> 00:01:21,247 You don't like the burgers that I've been making in the apartment? 36 00:01:21,248 --> 00:01:23,791 What? I wanted a smash burger. 37 00:01:23,792 --> 00:01:26,711 You don't think I can make a burger and smash it? I'll smash a burger for you. 38 00:01:26,712 --> 00:01:28,713 What the hell, Frank? A 5% tip? 39 00:01:28,714 --> 00:01:31,258 Pedal faster. It's cold as shit. 40 00:01:31,883 --> 00:01:32,883 Goddamn it. 41 00:01:32,884 --> 00:01:35,511 They're taking him to the hospital. Good job, guys! Good luck! 42 00:01:35,512 --> 00:01:38,222 Yes, great work, fellas. Thank you for your service. 43 00:01:38,223 --> 00:01:40,766 - That guy's gonna sue the shit out of me. - Yeah, that's not good, man. 44 00:01:40,767 --> 00:01:44,437 Hey, did anybody else get, like, a crazy rush from that experience? 45 00:01:44,438 --> 00:01:45,521 I did. 46 00:01:45,522 --> 00:01:48,065 It's nice to have a little action around here, right? 47 00:01:48,066 --> 00:01:51,235 The way those EMTs, like, fire in and they fire out with all the lights 48 00:01:51,236 --> 00:01:53,237 - and the sirens, saving lives. - It's awesome. 49 00:01:53,238 --> 00:01:55,573 You know, it's as close to playing God as you can get, you know? 50 00:01:55,574 --> 00:01:57,867 And the lifestyle. There's an appeal to it for sure. 51 00:01:57,868 --> 00:02:01,662 The lifestyle. Yeah, the whole thing is a vibe, and I am here for it. 52 00:02:01,663 --> 00:02:03,789 - Me too. It's sexy. - Yeah, sexy. 53 00:02:03,790 --> 00:02:05,791 You know that they bang the doctors and the nurses, right? 54 00:02:05,792 --> 00:02:08,711 Of course they do. Of course they do. Are you kidding me? 55 00:02:08,712 --> 00:02:11,505 The lifestyle is spicier than one of Frank's ghost peppers. 56 00:02:11,506 --> 00:02:12,799 Mac, come here for a second. 57 00:02:13,675 --> 00:02:16,511 Go with me here, but, uh, I'm sensing an opportunity, 58 00:02:17,095 --> 00:02:22,516 and I'm gonna float something by you that I think is a very reasonable proposition. 59 00:02:22,517 --> 00:02:23,851 Hmm. 60 00:02:25,000 --> 00:02:31,074 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org 61 00:02:48,543 --> 00:02:50,045 {\an8}Oh, shit, pal. 62 00:02:50,796 --> 00:02:51,797 {\an8}Oh. 63 00:02:52,297 --> 00:02:53,423 {\an8}Uh... 64 00:02:54,257 --> 00:02:55,717 {\an8}You're not cake, are you? 65 00:02:56,343 --> 00:02:59,428 {\an8}Nah. It's just a joke between me and the guys... 66 00:02:59,429 --> 00:03:01,764 Uh... Something. 67 00:03:01,765 --> 00:03:04,975 Anyway, I came over here to say I'm sorry because... 68 00:03:04,976 --> 00:03:07,395 Well, y-you know, actually, it's not my fault. 69 00:03:07,396 --> 00:03:10,439 Well, sure, I gave you a hot pepper and you had a heart attack, 70 00:03:10,440 --> 00:03:12,858 but, you know, I-I kind of attribute that to the... 71 00:03:12,859 --> 00:03:17,447 you know, the jazzman lifestyle more than the pepper. 72 00:03:19,408 --> 00:03:23,912 Eh? Just checking about the cake thing. You never know with those guys. 73 00:03:25,038 --> 00:03:27,289 Well, well, well. 74 00:03:27,290 --> 00:03:30,042 The Lawyer. What's with the getup? 75 00:03:30,043 --> 00:03:32,087 It's not a getup. 76 00:03:32,587 --> 00:03:36,549 It's an eye patch from when I was attacked by a bird. 77 00:03:36,550 --> 00:03:38,884 Gruesome. I wish I'd have seen that. 78 00:03:38,885 --> 00:03:40,345 You did see it. 79 00:03:41,388 --> 00:03:42,388 I don't remember. 80 00:03:42,389 --> 00:03:45,933 You don't remember being present in a court of law 81 00:03:45,934 --> 00:03:49,938 while a wild animal pecked out someone's eye? 82 00:03:50,689 --> 00:03:52,106 Can you be more specific? 83 00:03:52,107 --> 00:03:53,399 Oh. 84 00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:55,068 I'll be more specific, Frank. 85 00:03:55,777 --> 00:03:59,822 I'm here looking for clients, and I just found one. 86 00:03:59,823 --> 00:04:02,491 You just admitted to causing this man grievous harm, 87 00:04:02,492 --> 00:04:06,078 and I am going to take you down. 88 00:04:06,079 --> 00:04:08,330 - I'm innocent. - You literally just admitted it. 89 00:04:08,331 --> 00:04:10,959 - I was lying. - To a man in a coma? 90 00:04:11,543 --> 00:04:13,044 - I thought he was cake. - Okay. 91 00:04:13,753 --> 00:04:15,338 I'll see you in court, Frank. 92 00:04:16,506 --> 00:04:17,966 Shit. 93 00:04:19,551 --> 00:04:22,344 This is great, buddy. Frankly, I think we should've done it years ago. 94 00:04:22,345 --> 00:04:24,513 Agreed. This is the perfect complement 95 00:04:24,514 --> 00:04:26,265 - to our fast-paced lifestyle. - I think so too. 96 00:04:26,266 --> 00:04:29,226 Plus, I really feel like we should know how to do CPR, you know? 97 00:04:29,227 --> 00:04:30,519 Yes. Yes. 98 00:04:30,520 --> 00:04:33,522 Hey. Uh, pepper? 99 00:04:33,523 --> 00:04:34,940 And what do we have here? 100 00:04:34,941 --> 00:04:37,443 Well, the incident with the jazzman got me thinking about peppers, 101 00:04:37,444 --> 00:04:38,986 getting peppers back into my life. 102 00:04:38,987 --> 00:04:42,490 You know? Peppers spice everything up from... from tacos to talk shows. 103 00:04:42,491 --> 00:04:43,616 That's cute. 104 00:04:43,617 --> 00:04:45,659 - Yeah. - Yeah. Okay. I like where your head's at, 105 00:04:45,660 --> 00:04:49,079 but I think really it's maybe a matter of dosage. 106 00:04:49,080 --> 00:04:50,831 Like we-we shouldn't eat a whole pepper. 107 00:04:50,832 --> 00:04:52,291 We saw what happened to the jazzman. 108 00:04:52,292 --> 00:04:54,376 I'm thinking maybe microdosing is the way to go. 109 00:04:54,377 --> 00:04:56,170 - Microdose. Explain. - Yep. 110 00:04:56,171 --> 00:05:00,007 Well, instead of taking 100% of the dose 10% of the time, 111 00:05:00,008 --> 00:05:03,761 we take 10% of the dose 100% of the time. 112 00:05:03,762 --> 00:05:05,387 That is scientifically more better. 113 00:05:05,388 --> 00:05:06,472 - Wanna try it? - Yeah. 114 00:05:06,473 --> 00:05:09,392 - All right, just take a little nibble. - Just a little... a little micro, huh? 115 00:05:11,895 --> 00:05:14,438 - Yeah. - And then we just need to repeat 116 00:05:14,439 --> 00:05:16,857 - that dosage all day and all night. - Absolutely. That's good. 117 00:05:16,858 --> 00:05:19,318 I'm getting a little heat, but it's not too much heat. 118 00:05:19,319 --> 00:05:21,570 No. I definitely don't need more than that, know what I mean? 119 00:05:21,571 --> 00:05:23,906 - No. I'm gonna need more in 15 minutes. - Well, sure. 120 00:05:23,907 --> 00:05:25,241 Okay. 121 00:05:25,242 --> 00:05:27,535 - Speaking of spicy... - How's everyone doing? 122 00:05:27,536 --> 00:05:29,537 Things just got a little <i>caliente</i>. 123 00:05:29,538 --> 00:05:31,413 Hello, class, and welcome. 124 00:05:31,414 --> 00:05:36,210 I wanna congratulate you all for making a decision to pursue a career in this field. 125 00:05:40,340 --> 00:05:41,341 Are you two guys all right? 126 00:05:42,092 --> 00:05:43,175 - Yeah. - Yeah. 127 00:05:43,176 --> 00:05:48,222 Yeah, all good. All good. Uh, and may I, uh, compliment you on your uniform? 128 00:05:48,223 --> 00:05:51,684 The snugness, uh, really accentuates your physique. 129 00:05:51,685 --> 00:05:53,352 If-If that's okay to say. 130 00:05:53,353 --> 00:05:56,146 Uh... It's not, but let's continue, huh? 131 00:05:56,147 --> 00:05:58,107 Uh, if you don't mind, can we skip to the fun parts? 132 00:05:58,108 --> 00:05:59,985 You're not even letting me get started. 133 00:06:00,527 --> 00:06:04,655 Sorry. My, uh, my partner here, he's just excited to save lives. 134 00:06:04,656 --> 00:06:06,866 Okay. Well, I applaud you for your enthusiasm, 135 00:06:06,867 --> 00:06:09,411 but let's stay on track here, huh? Now... 136 00:06:11,037 --> 00:06:12,162 - Yes? - Um... 137 00:06:12,163 --> 00:06:15,165 When I just referred to the gentleman to my right as my partner, 138 00:06:15,166 --> 00:06:17,793 I meant in medicine, not in life. 139 00:06:17,794 --> 00:06:20,629 In life, I am very much single. 140 00:06:20,630 --> 00:06:23,924 That's great, but I wanna start this class right now, okay? 141 00:06:23,925 --> 00:06:27,261 Oh, God. I-I tell you, man, I think I got the dosage off. 142 00:06:27,262 --> 00:06:30,556 I think I ate a little bit too much. Less is more. That's on me. 143 00:06:30,557 --> 00:06:32,433 - The what? - The hot peppers. 144 00:06:32,434 --> 00:06:35,436 Uh, when do we cover the dosing, the pepper dosing in the class? 145 00:06:35,437 --> 00:06:37,354 I don't know what you're even talking about, 146 00:06:37,355 --> 00:06:39,982 but I tell you what, let's talk about CPR. 147 00:06:39,983 --> 00:06:42,652 - Oh, I'd like to volunteer. - No, I don't... 148 00:06:43,737 --> 00:06:45,529 - You're already getting up. All right. - I'm so sorry. 149 00:06:45,530 --> 00:06:47,239 It's so much spicier than I thought. 150 00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:49,033 Now, when we get to the chest compressions, 151 00:06:49,034 --> 00:06:51,493 should I take your shirt off or should you take mine off? 152 00:06:51,494 --> 00:06:52,578 No shirts come off. 153 00:06:52,579 --> 00:06:54,955 Actually, I'd love to take my shirt off. I'm getting pretty sweaty. 154 00:06:54,956 --> 00:06:57,416 - Can we start with the dummies, please? - Okay. 155 00:06:57,417 --> 00:07:01,879 And hands go like so, and we want to start with compressions to the song, 156 00:07:01,880 --> 00:07:04,506 <i>♪ Ha, ha, ha, ha, staying alive ♪</i> 157 00:07:04,507 --> 00:07:06,383 - Let me give it a shot. Do you mind? - You wanna step in? 158 00:07:06,384 --> 00:07:08,802 Actually, I'd love to step in here and see this thing. 159 00:07:08,803 --> 00:07:09,929 - Sure. - Yeah. 160 00:07:11,348 --> 00:07:12,766 How's this? 161 00:07:13,266 --> 00:07:15,018 That's-That's-That's a little too fast. 162 00:07:15,602 --> 00:07:18,062 And you see, class, I'm increasing the rate of compressions 163 00:07:18,063 --> 00:07:19,605 to ensure maximum blood flow. 164 00:07:19,606 --> 00:07:21,899 - Class, don't listen to him. - It's so hot! 165 00:07:21,900 --> 00:07:23,942 Now, class, you'll notice I am still finding a rhythm. 166 00:07:23,943 --> 00:07:25,110 That is way too fast. 167 00:07:25,111 --> 00:07:27,696 Well, somebody doesn't understand double time. 168 00:07:27,697 --> 00:07:29,741 You see, I'm pushing to a much spicier song. 169 00:07:30,408 --> 00:07:34,203 Is everyone familiar with the Gipsy Kings's "Bamboléo"? 170 00:07:34,204 --> 00:07:36,330 Ah! An excellent choice, very spicy. 171 00:07:36,331 --> 00:07:39,334 Speaking of spice, I brought plenty of peppers for everyone. 172 00:07:46,716 --> 00:07:50,260 Gosh, that damn lawyer is gonna jam me the hell up. 173 00:07:50,261 --> 00:07:51,637 - Yeah. - Hang on. 174 00:07:51,638 --> 00:07:53,055 Maybe I should slip him a ghost pepper. 175 00:07:53,056 --> 00:07:56,475 Yeah, well, that's a good idea. All right, uh, chili flakes, please. 176 00:07:56,476 --> 00:07:57,559 Wait. What? 177 00:07:57,560 --> 00:07:59,353 I-I need the chili flakes, please. See them? 178 00:07:59,354 --> 00:08:00,813 - Yeah, I see 'em. - "Yes, Chef." 179 00:08:00,814 --> 00:08:02,439 - What? - Say, "Yes, Chef." 180 00:08:02,440 --> 00:08:03,524 Why? 181 00:08:03,525 --> 00:08:07,319 Because the stakes are, uh, very high, you know, this is high-stakes stuff. 182 00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:08,404 Stakes of what? 183 00:08:08,405 --> 00:08:10,656 The cooking! It's-It's life-and-death stuff, man. 184 00:08:10,657 --> 00:08:12,783 - I need you to say, "Yes, chef." - You know what you should do? 185 00:08:12,784 --> 00:08:16,537 You should cook up an extra spicy meal. Really, really spicy. 186 00:08:16,538 --> 00:08:19,581 And I'll give it to The Lawyer. I'll trick him into eating it. 187 00:08:19,582 --> 00:08:21,709 And then if he's not admitted to the hospital, 188 00:08:21,710 --> 00:08:23,043 it would prove that I'm innocent. 189 00:08:23,044 --> 00:08:24,378 Okay, what if he dies? 190 00:08:24,379 --> 00:08:25,629 Win-win either way, right? 191 00:08:25,630 --> 00:08:27,798 - All right. - Oh! 192 00:08:27,799 --> 00:08:29,883 - Try that, baby! - Good smash. 193 00:08:29,884 --> 00:08:31,009 - Smashed it good! - Really? 194 00:08:31,010 --> 00:08:33,554 - You know how to do that? - Yeah, it's a brick-based medium. 195 00:08:33,555 --> 00:08:34,972 - Is it? - Yeah, that's my favorite part. 196 00:08:34,973 --> 00:08:36,975 What do you think? Same as a smash burger, right? 197 00:08:38,184 --> 00:08:40,436 - It's great! - Well, I added a little extra spice. 198 00:08:40,437 --> 00:08:42,896 - Oh, yeah. I can feel it. - I've been microdosing myself. 199 00:08:42,897 --> 00:08:44,982 - Hey, yo. Here we go, Frank. - Yeah, it goes right up. 200 00:08:44,983 --> 00:08:46,400 Your smash burger. 201 00:08:46,401 --> 00:08:48,152 - No, you're too late. - Yeah. Sorry about that. 202 00:08:48,153 --> 00:08:50,320 That's because I got smashed by a Prius. 203 00:08:50,321 --> 00:08:51,655 - Oh. Yeah. - Whoops! Yeah. 204 00:08:51,656 --> 00:08:53,407 - I need some shin guards, I think. - Yeah, looks bad. 205 00:08:53,408 --> 00:08:54,575 Yeah, it doesn't feel good. 206 00:08:54,576 --> 00:08:56,577 Well, Charlie already made me one, so you get no tip. 207 00:08:56,578 --> 00:08:58,620 - Charlie made you that? - Oh, yeah, yeah. 208 00:08:58,621 --> 00:09:00,789 It's basically the same exact thing as that smash burger. 209 00:09:00,790 --> 00:09:02,082 - Really good. - Ho-Hold on a second. 210 00:09:02,083 --> 00:09:04,668 - What else can you make? - I can make anything. You kidding me? 211 00:09:04,669 --> 00:09:07,004 Okay. Well, hold on. I'm-I'm getting an idea here. 212 00:09:07,005 --> 00:09:08,255 - Yeah? - Yeah. 213 00:09:08,256 --> 00:09:11,216 What if you help me spice up my job a little bit, right? 214 00:09:11,217 --> 00:09:13,385 And we make this sort of a ghost kitchen situation. 215 00:09:13,386 --> 00:09:16,263 We do it right here. I keep my work central, 216 00:09:16,264 --> 00:09:18,599 but I really get to crank out the orders a lot faster. 217 00:09:18,600 --> 00:09:20,267 Okay, I like it. I'll do this for you, Dee. 218 00:09:20,268 --> 00:09:21,894 I will, but you gotta promise me something. 219 00:09:21,895 --> 00:09:25,064 You gotta say, "Yes, chef," "No, chef," "On your left, chef," "Corner, chef." 220 00:09:25,065 --> 00:09:27,024 These kind of things. It's gotta work that way, Dee. 221 00:09:27,025 --> 00:09:29,611 - It's gotta work that way. - Why would I say any of those things? 222 00:09:30,361 --> 00:09:31,361 'Cause we're cooking food. 223 00:09:31,362 --> 00:09:33,447 - Yep, just food. - It's good. 224 00:09:33,448 --> 00:09:35,241 Doesn't seem like that big of a deal. 225 00:09:36,076 --> 00:09:37,744 It's the most serious thing... 226 00:09:39,120 --> 00:09:40,538 - that has ever... - Yes, chef. 227 00:09:41,039 --> 00:09:42,372 - Yes, chef. - Yeah? 228 00:09:42,373 --> 00:09:43,707 - Don't care. Yep. - Isn't that great? 229 00:09:43,708 --> 00:09:45,167 Wait, wait, wait. Dee, before you go, 230 00:09:45,168 --> 00:09:47,170 wanna spice up your bike ride with a habanero? 231 00:09:50,298 --> 00:09:53,092 Coming through. Coming through! 232 00:09:53,093 --> 00:09:55,803 On your left, bitch. 233 00:09:57,472 --> 00:09:59,306 Yo! Look out. Look out. Look out. Look out, bitch! 234 00:09:59,307 --> 00:10:00,390 Move it, boner. 235 00:10:00,391 --> 00:10:02,393 Goddamn. Ooh. 236 00:10:06,314 --> 00:10:09,066 Buddy, getting a refund on those classes 237 00:10:09,067 --> 00:10:11,985 and spending it on a decommissioned ambulance was the way to go. 238 00:10:11,986 --> 00:10:15,155 The illegality of what we're doing is spicy enough to get me off. 239 00:10:15,156 --> 00:10:17,783 And speaking of spice, I think we should up the dose. 240 00:10:17,784 --> 00:10:19,868 I think we should cool it on the peppers for a little bit. 241 00:10:19,869 --> 00:10:23,330 I mean, you take too much of those things and you can go temporarily blind. 242 00:10:23,331 --> 00:10:26,375 - Blind? That's crazy. No, you can't. - Y-Yes, you can. 243 00:10:26,376 --> 00:10:29,086 <i>Zebra 3? Zebra 3? You anywhere near 2nd and Race?</i> 244 00:10:29,087 --> 00:10:31,004 <i>Got a woman with an injury on the sidewalk.</i> 245 00:10:31,005 --> 00:10:32,923 Second and Race? That's like a block away. 246 00:10:32,924 --> 00:10:34,425 - Yeah. - Maybe we should answer it. 247 00:10:35,260 --> 00:10:37,469 - Well, here's one issue. - What? 248 00:10:37,470 --> 00:10:40,139 - We are not EMTs. - Right. 249 00:10:40,140 --> 00:10:42,600 <i>This is Zebra 3. We are 20 out. Go to closer unit.</i> 250 00:10:43,393 --> 00:10:44,977 <i>It's only a turned knee and a run to St. Mercy's.</i> 251 00:10:44,978 --> 00:10:46,062 <i>I'm sure she can wait.</i> 252 00:10:46,604 --> 00:10:48,605 This is Flaming Pepper, new truck on the rotation. 253 00:10:48,606 --> 00:10:50,775 We're only about a block away. We're gonna stop by. 254 00:10:51,484 --> 00:10:54,070 <i>Roger that, Flaming Pepper. I'll let her know you're on the way.</i> 255 00:10:54,779 --> 00:10:55,863 What are you doing? 256 00:10:55,864 --> 00:10:58,824 I don't know. I mean, look, what could be spicier than answering a call? 257 00:10:58,825 --> 00:11:00,409 Plus, it's only a hospital run. No big deal. 258 00:11:00,410 --> 00:11:01,994 I am intrigued that it's a woman. 259 00:11:01,995 --> 00:11:03,579 Pop a pepper and let's go? 260 00:11:03,580 --> 00:11:04,663 You know what? Let's do it. 261 00:11:04,664 --> 00:11:07,541 But let's-let's cool it on the peppers, all right? Let's be professional. 262 00:11:07,542 --> 00:11:09,168 We'll-We'll take some peppers afterwards. 263 00:11:09,169 --> 00:11:10,961 Professional. You got it. 264 00:11:19,304 --> 00:11:20,345 That's probably enough of the... 265 00:11:20,346 --> 00:11:21,973 - It's doing it on its own. - Yeah. Yeah. 266 00:11:31,691 --> 00:11:33,358 - Ma'am? - How we doing over here, ma'am? 267 00:11:33,359 --> 00:11:34,693 What seems to be the problem? 268 00:11:34,694 --> 00:11:37,696 This crazy woman jumps the curb on her bicycle 269 00:11:37,697 --> 00:11:40,115 yelling nonsense about hot peppers. 270 00:11:40,116 --> 00:11:42,534 I think I twisted my knee. It might be sprained. 271 00:11:42,535 --> 00:11:44,913 - Ugh. It's terrible. - Yeah. 272 00:11:46,039 --> 00:11:48,498 Uh, ma'am, would you, uh, excuse us for one quick second? 273 00:11:48,499 --> 00:11:50,126 - Come talk to me over here. - Yeah. 274 00:11:50,835 --> 00:11:52,502 - Did you pepper up? - No. 275 00:11:52,503 --> 00:11:54,047 - Yes, you did. - No. 276 00:11:54,756 --> 00:11:56,590 - Okay, I just had a little bit o... - Goddamn it. 277 00:11:56,591 --> 00:11:58,383 Now you're not microdosing anymore. 278 00:11:58,384 --> 00:11:59,635 You've slipped into macrodosing. 279 00:11:59,636 --> 00:12:00,844 - Macrodosing. - Yeah. 280 00:12:00,845 --> 00:12:02,095 That's cool 'cause it's my name. 281 00:12:02,096 --> 00:12:04,515 All right. Damn it. You know what? 282 00:12:05,516 --> 00:12:07,893 Give me a little bit. 'Cause I feel like I'm dipping a little. 283 00:12:07,894 --> 00:12:09,186 Just a little, dude. 284 00:12:09,187 --> 00:12:12,064 I'm not going to macrodose or anything. But, you know, a little something. 285 00:12:12,065 --> 00:12:14,233 - Yeah. - Oh, God. Man, that is the stuff. 286 00:12:14,234 --> 00:12:15,943 But it's a mild heat, right? 287 00:12:15,944 --> 00:12:18,612 - Holy shit. All right. Okay. - Oh, yeah. It's good. 288 00:12:18,613 --> 00:12:19,821 Let's save this bitch. 289 00:12:19,822 --> 00:12:22,241 Ma'am. I think what you've got there is a sprain. 290 00:12:22,242 --> 00:12:24,868 You're gonna not wanna put anything hot on it. 291 00:12:24,869 --> 00:12:27,287 - Or cold. - Yeah. Nothing hot, nothing cold. 292 00:12:27,288 --> 00:12:28,372 Yeah. Lukewarm, really. 293 00:12:28,373 --> 00:12:30,707 Ma'am, you're gonna... you're gonna wanna keep that knee lukewarm. 294 00:12:30,708 --> 00:12:33,461 You're gonna wanna take short, shallow breaths. 295 00:12:34,379 --> 00:12:36,546 Oh, you know what? I gotta check her for a concussion 296 00:12:36,547 --> 00:12:38,757 - because I feel like she's acting crazy. - I-I-I didn't hit my head. 297 00:12:38,758 --> 00:12:40,092 Just lay back and... 298 00:12:40,093 --> 00:12:44,930 Oh, God. Oh, my eye is burning. Was there something on your thumb? 299 00:12:44,931 --> 00:12:46,265 It's probably unrelated. 300 00:12:46,266 --> 00:12:48,308 Oh, ma'am. You're becoming a bit hysterical. 301 00:12:48,309 --> 00:12:49,893 Why don't I do some chest compressions on you. 302 00:12:49,894 --> 00:12:52,437 - You wanna pop that sweater off? - What? No, I need to rinse my eye. 303 00:12:52,438 --> 00:12:53,939 Well, the sweater needs to come off. 304 00:12:53,940 --> 00:12:55,357 - Yeah, let's make her unconscious. - Why? 305 00:12:55,358 --> 00:12:56,900 I feel like this is becoming a whole thing. 306 00:12:56,901 --> 00:12:58,777 - What? - Okay, ma'am, we're gonna get you 307 00:12:58,778 --> 00:13:01,030 to the hospital right now. 308 00:13:03,408 --> 00:13:05,827 Dude, this is incredible. I feel so alive. 309 00:13:06,953 --> 00:13:08,412 She definitely wants to bang me, dude. 310 00:13:08,413 --> 00:13:10,580 - Yeah. Don't you think? - Yeah, I think so. 311 00:13:15,295 --> 00:13:17,422 Yo. Order up. Let's go. 312 00:13:18,339 --> 00:13:20,008 Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. 313 00:13:22,593 --> 00:13:23,969 Wow. 314 00:13:23,970 --> 00:13:25,053 Whoo. 315 00:13:25,054 --> 00:13:26,306 Whoo! 316 00:13:29,058 --> 00:13:30,518 I got it. 317 00:13:31,436 --> 00:13:33,396 - Hey. Wow, he's okay. - Hey. 318 00:13:39,527 --> 00:13:40,902 Move! 319 00:13:40,903 --> 00:13:42,447 You dumb bitch. 320 00:13:43,072 --> 00:13:45,407 Whoo. 321 00:13:45,408 --> 00:13:47,451 Yeah! All right. 322 00:13:47,452 --> 00:13:50,705 - These are the Chipotle burritos. - Chipotle burritos. Yes, chef. 323 00:13:51,539 --> 00:13:52,539 How's the spice pot? 324 00:13:52,540 --> 00:13:53,875 Spice pot is 325 00:13:55,168 --> 00:13:56,418 spicy but needs more peppers. 326 00:13:56,419 --> 00:13:58,211 Peppers coming up. More peppers. 327 00:13:58,212 --> 00:14:00,005 - Here we go. - Yep. I needed a "Yes, chef" there. 328 00:14:00,006 --> 00:14:02,466 - Yes, chef. Yes, chef. - Yes, chef. Yes, chef! 329 00:14:05,762 --> 00:14:08,263 Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Let's go. 330 00:14:08,264 --> 00:14:09,681 Go, go, go, go, go, go. 331 00:14:16,105 --> 00:14:17,773 I don't know. I don't think he's gonna make it. 332 00:14:17,774 --> 00:14:19,816 - Looks like he's gonna die. - He's going in and out, isn't he? 333 00:14:19,817 --> 00:14:21,569 - Should we pepper? - You want some pepper, sir? 334 00:14:22,445 --> 00:14:23,987 Goddamn it. Hands. I need hands. 335 00:14:23,988 --> 00:14:25,947 - Let's do it. Let's go. - Go, go, go, go, go, Frank. 336 00:14:25,948 --> 00:14:29,076 - Go. Put the burger down. Go! - Come on, Frank. Come on! 337 00:14:30,536 --> 00:14:32,746 Hot fries. Hot fries. Hot fries. 338 00:14:37,001 --> 00:14:38,043 Sir. Are you okay? 339 00:14:38,044 --> 00:14:40,671 - I think we gotta do compressions, man. - Compressions, go. 340 00:14:45,635 --> 00:14:46,636 Whoo! 341 00:14:48,888 --> 00:14:50,389 Come on. Pick it up, grandpa. 342 00:14:53,309 --> 00:14:56,520 Whoo! Oh, God! It's all seeds. 343 00:14:56,521 --> 00:14:57,771 It's all seeds. 344 00:15:05,363 --> 00:15:06,572 Order up. 345 00:15:07,281 --> 00:15:11,827 We did it, Charlie. This chili is maxed out. I mean, I gotta go. 346 00:15:11,828 --> 00:15:14,788 Oh, what? What? No. You can't go. Come on, I got orders, bud. 347 00:15:14,789 --> 00:15:16,706 I gotta go trick The Lawyer. 348 00:15:16,707 --> 00:15:18,500 Come on, I need my expediter. 349 00:15:18,501 --> 00:15:19,960 What? I'll be in here all by myself? 350 00:15:19,961 --> 00:15:22,087 Come on, Frank, I need you, buddy. 351 00:15:22,088 --> 00:15:24,047 - Hey, yo! There he is. - Oh! 352 00:15:24,048 --> 00:15:25,632 - What do you got for us, buddy? - Oh. 353 00:15:25,633 --> 00:15:27,467 Anything for my first responders. 354 00:15:27,468 --> 00:15:30,804 My guy. My guy. My guy. Hey! All right. 355 00:15:30,805 --> 00:15:32,681 Whoo-hoo! 356 00:15:32,682 --> 00:15:34,349 - Oh, yeah. - That's hot. 357 00:15:36,310 --> 00:15:38,228 Getting high on your own supply over there? 358 00:15:38,229 --> 00:15:39,563 You mind? 359 00:15:39,564 --> 00:15:41,189 Yeah. Well, I'm in the weeds, boys. 360 00:15:41,190 --> 00:15:42,732 You know, I need it just to get by. 361 00:15:42,733 --> 00:15:45,527 How's it going for you fellas? How's it going out there in the streets? 362 00:15:45,528 --> 00:15:48,613 - Highs and lows. I don't love the blood. - A lot of blood in my line of work too. 363 00:15:48,614 --> 00:15:50,282 Well, there shouldn't be. 364 00:15:50,283 --> 00:15:52,325 Yeah, but you get the finger. I got Frank once or twice. 365 00:15:52,326 --> 00:15:54,578 - There really shouldn't be... - It's life-and-death stuff. 366 00:15:54,579 --> 00:15:55,829 Not really though. 367 00:15:55,830 --> 00:15:58,373 It is for the animals, I guess. 368 00:15:58,374 --> 00:16:00,917 I always feel like I could use a little more action, you know what I mean? 369 00:16:00,918 --> 00:16:02,711 - You want more spice? - I want more spice. 370 00:16:02,712 --> 00:16:03,795 - Yeah? - Yeah. 371 00:16:03,796 --> 00:16:04,880 Okay. I'm done. 372 00:16:04,881 --> 00:16:06,214 - Pepper me. - Oh! 373 00:16:06,215 --> 00:16:07,674 Bingo! 374 00:16:07,675 --> 00:16:09,134 Dang, what happened to you? 375 00:16:09,135 --> 00:16:11,303 Oh, bike got smashed by a crosstown bus. 376 00:16:11,304 --> 00:16:13,347 - Smashing ups everywhere. - Interesting. 377 00:16:13,931 --> 00:16:17,810 Hey, this-this-this might be the peppers talking here, but, um, go with me. 378 00:16:18,352 --> 00:16:21,730 I'm sensing an opportunity to smash all of these ideas together... 379 00:16:21,731 --> 00:16:24,233 and really spice up our lives. 380 00:16:25,193 --> 00:16:27,444 Now I'm gonna float out something that I believe to be... 381 00:16:27,445 --> 00:16:30,197 a very reasonable proposition. 382 00:16:32,992 --> 00:16:34,076 What is it? 383 00:16:36,329 --> 00:16:38,413 Okay, I got two smash burgers and a side of curly fries. 384 00:16:38,414 --> 00:16:40,457 - On your left! - Oh, yeah, thank you. 385 00:16:40,458 --> 00:16:43,335 - Thank you what? - Thank you, chef! 386 00:16:43,336 --> 00:16:44,420 Corner! 387 00:16:51,177 --> 00:16:53,596 This is the spice I was looking for, baby! 388 00:16:54,889 --> 00:16:56,473 Oh. 389 00:16:56,474 --> 00:17:00,186 Well, well, well. Hmm. New office, huh? 390 00:17:00,728 --> 00:17:03,981 Popcorn ceiling, right next to the highway. This place is trash. 391 00:17:04,565 --> 00:17:07,692 Mr. Reynolds, always a pleasure. 392 00:17:07,693 --> 00:17:09,444 I wanna talk about a settlement. 393 00:17:09,445 --> 00:17:13,073 I bet you do, because if I were your attorney, 394 00:17:13,074 --> 00:17:15,909 I would be begging for the same thing. 395 00:17:15,910 --> 00:17:17,745 But unfortunately for you... 396 00:17:19,038 --> 00:17:20,372 - Whoo! - I am not. 397 00:17:20,373 --> 00:17:22,208 My depth perception is terrible. 398 00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:24,376 Why? 399 00:17:24,377 --> 00:17:26,253 Because of the goddamn eye. 400 00:17:26,254 --> 00:17:27,712 What happened to your eye? 401 00:17:27,713 --> 00:17:29,172 Are you serious? 402 00:17:29,173 --> 00:17:31,299 Let's talk about this like gentlemen. 403 00:17:31,300 --> 00:17:32,717 I brought you some chili. 404 00:17:32,718 --> 00:17:35,595 Okay, I'm not eating that. I'm sure it's poison. 405 00:17:35,596 --> 00:17:37,264 Besides, I ordered for myself. 406 00:17:37,265 --> 00:17:38,682 No, my food's better. 407 00:17:38,683 --> 00:17:41,851 And-And there's nothing the matter with that chili. That is tasty chili. 408 00:17:41,852 --> 00:17:43,728 - I-I promise. - Hey. Lawyer. 409 00:17:43,729 --> 00:17:46,773 - Not now, Dee. - He Postmated. I'm delivering. 410 00:17:46,774 --> 00:17:50,318 Okay... I don't want any food delivered by any of you. 411 00:17:50,319 --> 00:17:53,405 Oh. Guess what, bozo? I don't care whether you eat it or not, 412 00:17:53,406 --> 00:17:55,699 but if you don't tip me, I'm taking out the other eye. 413 00:17:55,700 --> 00:17:57,826 - Eat mine. - No. 414 00:17:57,827 --> 00:17:59,912 I'll eat some first. Yeah. 415 00:18:00,580 --> 00:18:02,747 - I-I got my own spoon. - All right, this is bullshit. 416 00:18:02,748 --> 00:18:04,416 If you're not gonna tip me, I'm eating your lunch. 417 00:18:04,417 --> 00:18:07,253 - Be my guest. I don't care. - What do you think about this? 418 00:18:09,463 --> 00:18:11,047 - This is delicious. - Yep. 419 00:18:11,048 --> 00:18:15,093 - A little hot. Hot, hot, hot. - Mine too. Not-Not in temperature 420 00:18:15,094 --> 00:18:16,970 so much as it's the tiniest bit spicy. 421 00:18:18,806 --> 00:18:21,434 Really enjoying this a lot. 422 00:18:22,768 --> 00:18:24,061 I've got to take a knee. 423 00:18:24,604 --> 00:18:26,646 Oh! Shit, shit, shit, shit. 424 00:18:26,647 --> 00:18:29,983 How can you possibly make a burger so spicy? 425 00:18:31,694 --> 00:18:34,238 - This is so hot. - You've got to try this. 426 00:18:35,865 --> 00:18:37,657 I'll share that with you. 427 00:18:37,658 --> 00:18:39,785 Call 911! 428 00:18:40,828 --> 00:18:44,331 <i>Got a possible code W59 in progress at Snyder and Pattison.</i> 429 00:18:44,332 --> 00:18:46,041 - Pepper, pepper? - Pattison? That's like right here. 430 00:18:46,042 --> 00:18:47,877 - Pepper? Pepper, anyone? - Oh, yes. Absolutely. 431 00:18:48,794 --> 00:18:50,463 Yeah. W59? What is that? 432 00:18:51,130 --> 00:18:52,839 - Oh! - Snake bite. That's kind of exciting. 433 00:18:52,840 --> 00:18:54,883 Whoa! That's very interesting to me. 434 00:18:54,884 --> 00:18:57,511 I've always wanted to suck out snake venom, you know this. 435 00:18:59,180 --> 00:19:00,805 - Flaming Pepper taking the call. - Let's take it. 436 00:19:00,806 --> 00:19:02,182 Come on, baby. We're taking the call. 437 00:19:03,768 --> 00:19:05,226 Goddamn it. I'm dying. 438 00:19:05,227 --> 00:19:06,436 Oh, come on. 439 00:19:06,437 --> 00:19:08,605 What is it? What's going? You guys aren't snake bit, are you? 440 00:19:08,606 --> 00:19:11,858 Dee thought that was the only way we could get you guys to come up here. 441 00:19:11,859 --> 00:19:13,193 We said it was a snake bite. 442 00:19:13,194 --> 00:19:15,070 - I was right. - This is wonderful. 443 00:19:15,071 --> 00:19:18,531 I have absolutely no idea what the hell is going on here, 444 00:19:18,532 --> 00:19:20,617 but I guarantee you it's going to help me in my suit. 445 00:19:20,618 --> 00:19:25,414 I love watching all of you fail. Cheers. 446 00:19:26,832 --> 00:19:29,167 I got you! 447 00:19:29,168 --> 00:19:31,461 What... 448 00:19:31,462 --> 00:19:32,545 What's in that? 449 00:19:32,546 --> 00:19:37,259 That is 100% juiced Carolina Reaper tea. 450 00:19:38,386 --> 00:19:39,553 I got him. 451 00:19:40,429 --> 00:19:41,472 Reaper tea. 452 00:19:42,223 --> 00:19:43,307 Somebody... 453 00:19:44,308 --> 00:19:46,226 What's happening to me? 454 00:19:46,227 --> 00:19:48,812 Are you all right? 455 00:19:48,813 --> 00:19:51,064 We're getting close, guys. Almost there. Just hang on. 456 00:19:51,065 --> 00:19:52,816 How we looking back there? 457 00:19:52,817 --> 00:19:53,900 He's gonna die! 458 00:19:53,901 --> 00:19:55,985 Bamboléo. Bamboléo. Bamboléo. Bamboléo. Bamboléo. 459 00:19:55,986 --> 00:19:58,071 Dee, get those fries out of the fryer, stat. 460 00:19:58,072 --> 00:20:00,657 It just hurts so bad. You're overspicing the food, chef. 461 00:20:00,658 --> 00:20:01,908 What are they doing? 462 00:20:01,909 --> 00:20:04,703 - Enough with the orders. - No, no. Just one more drop. 463 00:20:04,704 --> 00:20:06,831 He's gonna die! Order, order. 464 00:20:11,752 --> 00:20:15,922 Oh. Oh, God. It burns! Oh, shit, it burns! 465 00:20:15,923 --> 00:20:19,008 Goddamn it, Dennis. You have to yell "corner!" 466 00:20:19,009 --> 00:20:21,678 - I can't see. - What? 467 00:20:21,679 --> 00:20:23,430 Goddamn it! I think I overdosed on the peppers. 468 00:20:23,431 --> 00:20:24,932 I told you this would happen, Mac. 469 00:20:28,644 --> 00:20:31,522 I can't see. Goddamn it! Goddamn you! 470 00:20:37,903 --> 00:20:39,488 Oh, fuck! 471 00:20:53,753 --> 00:20:55,462 All right, all right, all right. 472 00:20:55,463 --> 00:20:56,546 I've-I've heard enough. 473 00:20:56,547 --> 00:20:58,131 Joyriding through the city, 474 00:20:58,132 --> 00:21:01,885 serving food without a permit in an unlicensed ambulance, 475 00:21:01,886 --> 00:21:05,054 all while impersonating medical professionals. 476 00:21:05,055 --> 00:21:08,558 For what? Your own twisted amusement? 477 00:21:08,559 --> 00:21:10,394 What have you got to say for yourself? 478 00:21:11,479 --> 00:21:15,148 I swear there were other people there. 479 00:21:15,149 --> 00:21:19,444 I was strapped into a gurney. I passed out. 480 00:21:19,445 --> 00:21:25,367 Uh, they must have put me in an EMT uniform and-and-and fled the scene. 481 00:21:27,495 --> 00:21:29,246 Thirty days, Philly Correctional. 482 00:21:29,830 --> 00:21:30,872 Next case. 482 00:21:31,305 --> 00:22:31,516