"The Big Bang Theory" The Grant Allocation Derivation

1 00:00:04,600 --> 00:00:06,353 Oh, this is amazing. 2 00:00:06,440 --> 00:00:08,557 I wish I had a playhouse like this when I was a kid. 3 00:00:08,640 --> 00:00:10,154 Really, you never had a playhouse? 4 00:00:10,280 --> 00:00:11,350 No. 5 00:00:11,440 --> 00:00:14,399 I mean, my dad did buy the house next door for us to play in. 6 00:00:15,640 --> 00:00:18,075 I'm gonna hook up the garden hose so it has running water. 7 00:00:18,160 --> 00:00:19,800 Why does it need running water? 8 00:00:20,400 --> 00:00:21,720 Same reason it's got electricity. 9 00:00:21,760 --> 00:00:24,036 Bernadette and I both work and we're overcompensating. 10 00:00:26,720 --> 00:00:30,430 Yeah. This reminds me of a traditional Amish barn raising 11 00:00:30,520 --> 00:00:31,920 with everyone pitching in. 12 00:00:32,400 --> 00:00:34,357 How exactly are you pitching in? 13 00:00:35,360 --> 00:00:38,478 I don't hear anyone else giving facts about traditional Amish barn raising. 14 00:00:40,520 --> 00:00:42,616 The rest of us are pitching in with hammers and nails. 15 00:00:42,640 --> 00:00:44,472 The facts are my nails 16 00:00:44,560 --> 00:00:46,836 and my voice is the hammer which pounds them 17 00:00:46,920 --> 00:00:48,160 through the wood of your skull. 18 00:00:50,040 --> 00:00:51,679 Well, that is how it feels. 19 00:00:53,240 --> 00:00:54,560 Hey, can you pass me that drill? 20 00:00:54,640 --> 00:00:56,438 Yeah. Fun fact about Amish barn raising. 21 00:00:56,520 --> 00:00:58,398 They don't use any power tools. 22 00:00:58,480 --> 00:01:00,233 Amy, make him stop! 23 00:01:00,320 --> 00:01:03,631 No. If he tires himself out now, he'll sleep better tonight. 24 00:01:04,960 --> 00:01:06,440 Hey, Howie, can you give me a hand. 25 00:01:06,520 --> 00:01:09,160 I need to get some work done and the kids are climbing all over me. 26 00:01:09,640 --> 00:01:11,120 You know what? I'll watch them. 27 00:01:11,200 --> 00:01:12,111 You sure? 28 00:01:12,200 --> 00:01:13,376 But I was just about to tell everyone 29 00:01:13,400 --> 00:01:16,313 why they're called Pennsylvania Dutch when they really hail from Germany. 30 00:01:17,680 --> 00:01:18,680 Yep. 31 00:01:20,000 --> 00:01:21,036 Thanks. 32 00:01:21,120 --> 00:01:24,033 So, what do ya think? Pretty cool, huh? 33 00:01:24,120 --> 00:01:25,280 And when our kids outgrow it, 34 00:01:25,320 --> 00:01:27,312 we can Airbnb it to other people's babies. 35 00:01:29,560 --> 00:01:30,560 Funny. 36 00:01:31,320 --> 00:01:32,117 You all right? 37 00:01:32,200 --> 00:01:33,953 Sorry, I haven't had a second to myself. 38 00:01:34,040 --> 00:01:36,475 So let me just go back inside, finish my report, 39 00:01:36,560 --> 00:01:38,199 brush my teeth, change out of my pajamas, 40 00:01:38,280 --> 00:01:39,111 make a sandwich 41 00:01:39,200 --> 00:01:41,396 and then I'll come out here and laugh at your joke. 42 00:01:41,480 --> 00:01:44,040 Ooh. As long as you're making sandwiches. 43 00:01:46,680 --> 00:01:48,194 You can laugh at that one later too. 44 00:01:50,760 --> 00:01:52,991 All right, I've kept you in suspense long enough. 45 00:01:53,080 --> 00:01:56,790 Dutch is a bastardization of the word <i>"Deutsch"</i> meaning German. 46 00:01:57,920 --> 00:01:59,479 What's German for annoying? 47 00:02:02,360 --> 00:02:03,760 <i>Nervig</i>. Why do you ask? 48 00:02:04,240 --> 00:02:07,551 <i>Our whole universe was in a hot dense state</i> 49 00:02:07,640 --> 00:02:10,633 <i>Then nearly fourteen billion years ago expansion started...</i> 50 00:02:10,720 --> 00:02:11,551 <i>Wait!</i> 51 00:02:11,640 --> 00:02:12,640 <i>The earth began to cool</i> 52 00:02:12,720 --> 00:02:14,040 <i>The autotrophs began to drool</i> 53 00:02:14,120 --> 00:02:15,759 <i>Neanderthals developed tools</i> 54 00:02:15,840 --> 00:02:17,752 <i>We built a wall We built the pyramids</i> 55 00:02:17,840 --> 00:02:20,480 <i>Math, science, history Unraveling the mystery</i> 56 00:02:20,560 --> 00:02:22,153 <i>It all started with the Big Bang!</i> 57 00:02:22,240 --> 00:02:23,435 <i>Bang!</i> 58 00:02:25,000 --> 00:02:31,074 Watch Online Movies and Series for FREE www.osdb.link/lm 59 00:02:33,040 --> 00:02:34,336 President Siebert, you wanted to see me? 60 00:02:34,360 --> 00:02:36,238 Hey. There's my guy! 61 00:02:38,400 --> 00:02:39,277 You sound like my wife 62 00:02:39,360 --> 00:02:41,192 just before she asked me to go to Coachella. 63 00:02:42,560 --> 00:02:44,870 No, this is gonna be way more fun than Coachella. 64 00:02:44,960 --> 00:02:46,952 More fun than heatstroke? Good luck. 65 00:02:49,840 --> 00:02:52,719 So, there are some funds left in the general administrative grant 66 00:02:52,800 --> 00:02:55,599 and I need somebody to decide how we should disburse them. 67 00:02:56,280 --> 00:02:57,280 Really? 68 00:02:57,880 --> 00:02:59,155 Wow. What an honor. Thank you. 69 00:02:59,280 --> 00:03:01,351 So how do I decide who gets the money? 70 00:03:01,440 --> 00:03:02,920 How do you decide anything? 71 00:03:03,000 --> 00:03:06,152 Think about it with your brain and then say it with your mouth. 72 00:03:08,640 --> 00:03:09,994 Yeah, right, sure. 73 00:03:10,080 --> 00:03:13,517 So after I decide, do I then submit it to you for approval or... 74 00:03:13,600 --> 00:03:15,000 No. You decide, you approve, 75 00:03:15,080 --> 00:03:17,276 and then you pride yourself on a job well done. 76 00:03:17,360 --> 00:03:18,794 It's a lot of responsibility. 77 00:03:19,120 --> 00:03:20,976 Well, if I didn't think you were up to the task, 78 00:03:21,000 --> 00:03:22,673 you wouldn't have been fifth on my list. 79 00:03:25,760 --> 00:03:27,831 Thank you. I'll get started right away. 80 00:03:27,920 --> 00:03:29,832 And I look forward to hearing nothing about it. 81 00:03:30,880 --> 00:03:32,075 I will keep you posted. 82 00:03:35,480 --> 00:03:37,870 Hey, thank you guys again for helping out yesterday. 83 00:03:37,960 --> 00:03:39,394 No problem, that was really fun. 84 00:03:39,480 --> 00:03:42,279 It was fun, but I am sore. 85 00:03:42,360 --> 00:03:43,510 You didn't lift a finger. 86 00:03:43,600 --> 00:03:47,230 No, but I narrated the entire event and I am paying for it today. 87 00:03:49,240 --> 00:03:50,071 Gentlemen. 88 00:03:50,160 --> 00:03:51,037 - Hey. - Hi. 89 00:03:51,120 --> 00:03:54,158 Leonard, do I detect a little swagger in your step? 90 00:03:54,600 --> 00:03:55,511 Possibly. 91 00:03:55,600 --> 00:03:56,920 Well, stop. It doesn't suit you. 92 00:03:58,720 --> 00:03:59,949 What's going on? 93 00:04:00,040 --> 00:04:01,952 Siebert put me in charge of handing out 94 00:04:02,040 --> 00:04:03,576 the last bit of the administrative funds. 95 00:04:03,600 --> 00:04:04,920 And I have sole discretion. 96 00:04:05,840 --> 00:04:08,309 Whoo! Looks like Christmas came early. 97 00:04:08,400 --> 00:04:10,198 First thing on my list is a golden umbrella 98 00:04:10,280 --> 00:04:12,192 'cause Leonard's gonna make it rain! 99 00:04:14,160 --> 00:04:15,958 Hold on, I'm not just gonna hand out money. 100 00:04:16,040 --> 00:04:17,997 There's a procedure you need to follow. 101 00:04:18,080 --> 00:04:20,800 I believe he's referring to the traditional kissing of the buttocks. 102 00:04:22,080 --> 00:04:22,911 Should we form a line 103 00:04:23,000 --> 00:04:24,720 or just do it like we're bobbing for apples? 104 00:04:26,440 --> 00:04:30,070 Cute. But President Siebert trusted me with this and I'm taking it seriously. 105 00:04:30,160 --> 00:04:32,959 If you have a legitimate request, you can submit it to me in writing 106 00:04:33,040 --> 00:04:34,918 and I will evaluate it based on its merits. 107 00:04:35,000 --> 00:04:37,071 Sure, sure. Is Jet Ski one word or two? 108 00:04:38,720 --> 00:04:40,677 Hofstadter! 109 00:04:41,640 --> 00:04:44,030 Heard Siebert put you in charge of the administrative fund? 110 00:04:44,120 --> 00:04:46,351 Can't think of a better guy for the job. 111 00:04:46,440 --> 00:04:47,954 I think he's done this before. 112 00:04:49,400 --> 00:04:52,996 Leonard, I know you and I have a troubled history 113 00:04:53,080 --> 00:04:56,596 but I hope that when I make my request, you'll give me a fair shot. 114 00:04:57,000 --> 00:04:57,831 Of course. 115 00:04:57,920 --> 00:05:00,799 See? That's why I like about this guy, integrity. 116 00:05:00,880 --> 00:05:01,880 Bring it in! 117 00:05:04,280 --> 00:05:06,192 I just put something in your pocket. 118 00:05:06,280 --> 00:05:08,749 It's good at all El Pollo Locos. 119 00:05:15,200 --> 00:05:17,920 Halley, leave your brother's dirty diaper alone! 120 00:05:19,640 --> 00:05:20,471 Put that down. 121 00:05:20,560 --> 00:05:23,359 That is not a hat. That is not a hat! 122 00:05:26,800 --> 00:05:28,996 - Okay, everybody in the sink. - Ew! 123 00:05:31,280 --> 00:05:34,398 Bad news, Howie. I'm gonna be stuck at work for a while. 124 00:05:38,440 --> 00:05:40,909 Oh, that's terrible. Hang in there. 125 00:05:41,000 --> 00:05:42,593 I'll be home as soon as I can. 126 00:05:48,560 --> 00:05:49,755 He deserves better. 127 00:05:52,880 --> 00:05:55,839 No, I'm not going to reconsider. Your request was denied. 128 00:05:57,120 --> 00:05:58,918 I don't care if it helps you think, 129 00:05:59,000 --> 00:06:01,071 you don't need a koi pond in your office. 130 00:06:03,120 --> 00:06:05,954 Well, you should've thought about that before you bought the koi. 131 00:06:07,960 --> 00:06:10,191 - Wow. That was a little rough. - Well, I have to be, 132 00:06:10,280 --> 00:06:12,680 everyone assumes I'm just gonna give them whatever they want. 133 00:06:12,720 --> 00:06:15,315 Mmm. But you're not. Are you? 134 00:06:17,480 --> 00:06:18,480 No, I'm not. 135 00:06:18,560 --> 00:06:19,914 I mean, look at this. 136 00:06:20,000 --> 00:06:22,071 An espresso machine? I don't think so. 137 00:06:22,160 --> 00:06:23,160 Denied! 138 00:06:24,640 --> 00:06:26,871 Wow. I really like this side of you. 139 00:06:27,040 --> 00:06:27,871 Really? 140 00:06:27,960 --> 00:06:30,759 Yeah, just so decisive. 141 00:06:31,760 --> 00:06:32,989 Well, check this out. 142 00:06:33,120 --> 00:06:34,440 A standing desk. 143 00:06:34,520 --> 00:06:35,670 - Denied! - Ooh! 144 00:06:40,800 --> 00:06:42,296 If you wanna stand, do it on your own time. 145 00:06:42,320 --> 00:06:43,151 'Cause I'm the boss. 146 00:06:43,240 --> 00:06:44,390 Yeah, you are! 147 00:06:46,240 --> 00:06:47,071 Hello. 148 00:06:47,160 --> 00:06:47,991 - Hey. - Hey. 149 00:06:48,080 --> 00:06:49,616 Leonard, I just wanted to congratulate you 150 00:06:49,640 --> 00:06:51,400 on how well you're managing this grant money. 151 00:06:51,440 --> 00:06:52,556 - What do you want? - You... 152 00:06:52,920 --> 00:06:53,751 Nothing. 153 00:06:53,840 --> 00:06:55,336 I just came by to pay you a compliment. 154 00:06:55,360 --> 00:06:56,430 Nice try, the answer's no. 155 00:06:57,520 --> 00:06:59,591 To what? I'm not asking you for anything. 156 00:06:59,680 --> 00:07:01,990 All I need for my job is right here. Hmm? 157 00:07:02,080 --> 00:07:04,470 This is my office. Which makes for a great commute. 158 00:07:04,560 --> 00:07:06,199 Home. Work. Home. 159 00:07:07,200 --> 00:07:09,160 And I'm still working, I'm just working from home. 160 00:07:10,560 --> 00:07:11,616 You know, if it's that easy 161 00:07:11,640 --> 00:07:13,456 then why does Leonard have to drive you to work every day? 162 00:07:13,480 --> 00:07:16,314 Because I like the frozen yogurt machine in the cafeteria. 163 00:07:17,120 --> 00:07:18,656 Oh! I suppose I could use a frozen yogurt machine... 164 00:07:18,680 --> 00:07:19,680 Denied! 165 00:07:23,960 --> 00:07:26,555 Well, you should've seen him. Denying things left and right. 166 00:07:26,640 --> 00:07:28,438 It was so sexy! 167 00:07:30,560 --> 00:07:33,200 Of course, I made a request he did not deny. 168 00:07:34,640 --> 00:07:35,994 Uh-huh. 169 00:07:37,040 --> 00:07:37,871 Are you listening to me? 170 00:07:37,960 --> 00:07:39,599 Yeah, sure. You slept with your husband. 171 00:07:42,200 --> 00:07:43,600 What is going on with you? 172 00:07:44,280 --> 00:07:45,634 It's not a big thing. 173 00:07:46,680 --> 00:07:48,717 Have you ever told Leonard a little white lie? 174 00:07:49,200 --> 00:07:50,350 Mmm. 175 00:07:50,440 --> 00:07:53,035 Well, he thinks I've seen every one of the <i>Star Wars</i> movies 176 00:07:53,160 --> 00:07:55,436 but I've really only seen the one with the gold robot. 177 00:07:59,880 --> 00:08:00,880 That could be any of 'em. 178 00:08:01,640 --> 00:08:02,640 Exactly. 179 00:08:04,400 --> 00:08:05,496 I've been telling Howie that 180 00:08:05,520 --> 00:08:07,352 I've had to work late the past couple nights, 181 00:08:07,440 --> 00:08:10,558 but really I've just been hiding out in Halley's playhouse. 182 00:08:11,520 --> 00:08:12,556 Does that make me awful? 183 00:08:13,080 --> 00:08:14,275 Awful, no. 184 00:08:14,360 --> 00:08:15,999 Uh, strange, yes. 185 00:08:17,120 --> 00:08:18,349 Sad, a little, yes. 186 00:08:19,680 --> 00:08:21,800 Just that work's been crazy, and the minute I get home 187 00:08:21,880 --> 00:08:23,234 I have two kids hanging on me, 188 00:08:23,320 --> 00:08:25,176 and sometimes I don't want babies pulling my hair 189 00:08:25,200 --> 00:08:26,759 and pinching my belly fat. 190 00:08:28,040 --> 00:08:29,872 It'd be a good slogan for a condom company. 191 00:08:32,880 --> 00:08:33,711 I love my kids 192 00:08:33,800 --> 00:08:36,713 but that hour to myself just makes me feel human again. 193 00:08:37,560 --> 00:08:41,759 So you go home and sit alone in a toy house in the backyard. 194 00:08:43,400 --> 00:08:44,400 Yeah! 195 00:08:48,520 --> 00:08:52,560 Oh! Dr. Hofstadter, did you have a chance to look over my proposal? 196 00:08:52,640 --> 00:08:55,235 Yeah, I did, and your research is fascinating. 197 00:08:55,320 --> 00:08:57,198 I had no idea that crows were that smart. 198 00:08:57,280 --> 00:08:58,680 Do they really hold grudges? 199 00:08:58,760 --> 00:08:59,671 They do. 200 00:08:59,760 --> 00:09:02,753 One of them escaped from my behavioral study a year ago. 201 00:09:02,840 --> 00:09:06,231 I can't prove it's him but something craps on my car every day. 202 00:09:08,240 --> 00:09:11,153 Well, look, I only have enough money to fund one request 203 00:09:11,240 --> 00:09:13,436 but your project is definitely in the running. 204 00:09:13,520 --> 00:09:16,752 Okay, but, when do you think you might make a decision? 205 00:09:16,840 --> 00:09:21,153 Because I have to upgrade their cages before they learn how to open the locks. 206 00:09:21,240 --> 00:09:23,630 When I came into my lab, this morning, 207 00:09:23,720 --> 00:09:25,279 they suddenly got silent. 208 00:09:27,600 --> 00:09:29,560 I think they're planning something. 209 00:09:31,520 --> 00:09:33,751 Uh, soon. I've narrowed it down to three projects. 210 00:09:33,840 --> 00:09:35,354 Whoa! Is mine one of them? 211 00:09:35,440 --> 00:09:36,760 Actually, yeah. 212 00:09:36,840 --> 00:09:39,480 The software in the telescope room hasn't been upgraded in years, 213 00:09:39,560 --> 00:09:41,279 it seems like it might be time. 214 00:09:41,360 --> 00:09:43,158 Whoa, whoa, whoa! 215 00:09:43,840 --> 00:09:45,576 So you're just gonna give the money to your friend? 216 00:09:45,600 --> 00:09:46,829 I smell a rat. 217 00:09:46,920 --> 00:09:48,957 I work with rats too. That might be me. 218 00:09:50,880 --> 00:09:52,951 I'm not just giving it to my friend, Barry. 219 00:09:53,040 --> 00:09:54,713 Your proposal is also in the mix. 220 00:09:55,280 --> 00:09:56,509 Wait, so those are the three? 221 00:09:56,600 --> 00:09:58,193 You're not even considering mine? 222 00:09:58,280 --> 00:10:00,511 Why, because they're PhDs and I'm just an engineer? 223 00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:03,240 No, because they wrote detailed proposals 224 00:10:03,320 --> 00:10:06,074 and you sent a YouTube clip of the guy from <i>Jerry Maguire</i> saying, 225 00:10:06,160 --> 00:10:07,276 "Show me the money." 226 00:10:09,400 --> 00:10:11,278 All right, Hofstadter, what's it gonna be? 227 00:10:11,360 --> 00:10:12,714 Which project are you gonna pick? 228 00:10:12,840 --> 00:10:14,877 Yeah, come on, Leonard. Tell us now. 229 00:10:14,960 --> 00:10:18,192 But remember, crows aren't the only ones who can hold a grudge. 230 00:10:20,200 --> 00:10:23,398 Look, all three of your proposals have a lot of merit. 231 00:10:23,480 --> 00:10:25,597 I just wanna make sure I'm making the right decision. 232 00:10:25,680 --> 00:10:29,310 I can tell you're stressed. If it helps, I withdraw my proposal. 233 00:10:29,440 --> 00:10:30,237 It doesn't help. 234 00:10:30,320 --> 00:10:31,151 Fine, then I'm back in the mix. 235 00:10:31,240 --> 00:10:32,674 Show me the money! 236 00:10:35,480 --> 00:10:36,994 Okay. I just... 237 00:10:37,080 --> 00:10:39,072 I need everyone to back off. 238 00:10:39,200 --> 00:10:41,999 I'm in charge here and I'll decide when I'm ready to decide. 239 00:10:42,120 --> 00:10:43,236 When will that be? 240 00:10:43,320 --> 00:10:45,437 A day, a week, I don't know. 241 00:10:45,520 --> 00:10:47,480 - Where are you going? - I don't know that either! 242 00:10:58,320 --> 00:10:59,436 Ooh! 243 00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:02,037 Someone's making decisions. 244 00:11:04,320 --> 00:11:05,640 Reviewing these proposals. 245 00:11:05,720 --> 00:11:09,350 Yeah. 'Cause you're the boss man, telling people what's what. I like it. 246 00:11:11,040 --> 00:11:12,759 It's just so hard! 247 00:11:12,840 --> 00:11:15,036 All three of these proposals have merit. 248 00:11:15,120 --> 00:11:16,315 How do I choose? 249 00:11:16,680 --> 00:11:18,194 Well, not with that voice. 250 00:11:21,080 --> 00:11:24,073 There has got to be a right decision based on empirical evidence. 251 00:11:24,200 --> 00:11:26,317 Look, I made pros and cons lists, 252 00:11:26,400 --> 00:11:28,416 and then I came up with three different scoring systems 253 00:11:28,440 --> 00:11:29,794 to determine the best project. 254 00:11:29,880 --> 00:11:32,236 I just don't know which scoring system to use! 255 00:11:32,320 --> 00:11:35,552 So I'm working on a meta-scoring system to score the scoring systems 256 00:11:35,640 --> 00:11:36,816 but the math is really complicated. 257 00:11:36,840 --> 00:11:38,360 Do you want me to walk you through it? 258 00:11:41,040 --> 00:11:42,040 - Cheers! - Cheers! 259 00:11:48,280 --> 00:11:50,136 Turn that off. Are you trying to get us caught? 260 00:11:50,160 --> 00:11:51,160 Oh. 261 00:11:54,440 --> 00:11:57,512 So, I've narrowed it down to three worthwhile projects, 262 00:11:57,600 --> 00:11:59,990 but I only have the money to fund one of them. 263 00:12:00,080 --> 00:12:01,958 Lucky for you, I have a solution. 264 00:12:02,720 --> 00:12:03,836 I can't wait. 265 00:12:05,160 --> 00:12:07,356 You free up more money and I fund all of them. 266 00:12:07,520 --> 00:12:09,000 Mmm. No. 267 00:12:10,680 --> 00:12:11,830 Or... 268 00:12:12,360 --> 00:12:13,430 Hear me out. 269 00:12:13,520 --> 00:12:14,520 Yes. 270 00:12:16,480 --> 00:12:18,119 That way everybody's happy. 271 00:12:18,200 --> 00:12:19,336 You can't make everybody happy. 272 00:12:19,360 --> 00:12:20,635 - I think I can. - You can't. 273 00:12:20,720 --> 00:12:22,480 - No, actually... - You're making me unhappy. 274 00:12:24,800 --> 00:12:25,800 Okay, what would you do? 275 00:12:26,320 --> 00:12:29,996 I'd find some sap and put him in charge so I wouldn't have to be the bad guy. 276 00:12:32,440 --> 00:12:34,432 That's a really good idea... Oh. 277 00:12:44,080 --> 00:12:45,560 - Watcha doing? - Oh. 278 00:12:45,640 --> 00:12:47,279 You scared me. 279 00:12:47,360 --> 00:12:48,510 I'll ask again. 280 00:12:49,120 --> 00:12:50,713 Whatcha doing? 281 00:12:52,160 --> 00:12:53,037 Nothing. 282 00:12:53,120 --> 00:12:54,474 Really? 283 00:12:54,560 --> 00:12:56,677 You and Bernadette aren't doing stuff without me? 284 00:12:56,760 --> 00:12:59,116 What? No! Why would you even say that? 285 00:13:00,120 --> 00:13:02,840 You know how your talent is getting just drunk enough 286 00:13:02,920 --> 00:13:05,480 to have a good time without being hungover the next day? 287 00:13:06,240 --> 00:13:07,515 Thank you. 288 00:13:10,400 --> 00:13:14,394 Well, mine is knowing when I'm being excluded. So spill. 289 00:13:14,520 --> 00:13:16,716 I'm just running some errands. 290 00:13:16,800 --> 00:13:17,800 Yeah? 291 00:13:18,720 --> 00:13:20,154 With a bag full of wine? 292 00:13:20,240 --> 00:13:23,517 I just gotta stay hydrated. 293 00:13:25,040 --> 00:13:25,871 Try again. 294 00:13:25,960 --> 00:13:27,030 Okay. Look, I'm sorry. 295 00:13:27,120 --> 00:13:28,616 We did not mean to leave you out, all right? 296 00:13:28,640 --> 00:13:30,791 Bernadette has been feeling fried at home 297 00:13:30,880 --> 00:13:33,839 so we ended up hanging out in Halley's playhouse. 298 00:13:34,400 --> 00:13:35,720 - Like a secret club? - What? 299 00:13:36,720 --> 00:13:37,790 No! 300 00:13:37,920 --> 00:13:41,436 Just like a place to spend time that we don't tell anyone else about. 301 00:13:45,320 --> 00:13:47,391 And what would be a shorter way of saying that? 302 00:13:49,360 --> 00:13:50,396 Secret club, yeah. 303 00:13:52,360 --> 00:13:54,216 - Well, you really hurt my feelings. - Oh. 304 00:13:54,240 --> 00:13:55,720 What can I do to make it up to you? 305 00:13:56,240 --> 00:13:57,515 I'm in a secret club! 306 00:14:00,480 --> 00:14:02,456 Is there some sort of humiliating initiation? 307 00:14:02,480 --> 00:14:03,960 'Cause I would literally do anything! 308 00:14:12,400 --> 00:14:16,633 Leonard, you've been losing to me in three-dimensional chess for many years. 309 00:14:16,720 --> 00:14:18,074 You know what would be neat? 310 00:14:18,160 --> 00:14:21,710 If this was some sort of long con, and one day you say, 311 00:14:21,800 --> 00:14:23,871 "Let's make this interesting," put money on it 312 00:14:23,960 --> 00:14:26,350 and reveal that you actually know what you're doing. 313 00:14:31,320 --> 00:14:33,835 - A very long con indeed. Checkmate. - Oh. 314 00:14:35,680 --> 00:14:37,160 Sorry, I'm distracted. 315 00:14:37,240 --> 00:14:38,993 Ooh. Aren't you the hustler? 316 00:14:40,560 --> 00:14:44,031 No matter who I give the funds to, someone is gonna be upset with me. 317 00:14:44,120 --> 00:14:45,998 Do you really care if people are angry at you? 318 00:14:46,080 --> 00:14:47,673 - Of course. - Interesting. 319 00:14:47,760 --> 00:14:50,878 Why don't you go to the store and get me some tapioca pudding 320 00:14:50,960 --> 00:14:52,474 or I'm gonna be angry at you. 321 00:14:54,320 --> 00:14:55,231 No. 322 00:14:55,320 --> 00:14:56,515 So it comes and goes? 323 00:14:58,480 --> 00:15:00,437 How do you not care what people think of you? 324 00:15:00,520 --> 00:15:03,718 It's easy. I mean, not beating-you-at chess easy, but what is. 325 00:15:06,480 --> 00:15:07,880 Wait. 326 00:15:07,960 --> 00:15:09,314 You can make this decision. 327 00:15:09,400 --> 00:15:12,711 You don't care if you upset people. You can pick for me. 328 00:15:12,800 --> 00:15:14,439 - I certainly could. - Oh, great. 329 00:15:14,520 --> 00:15:15,520 But I won't. 330 00:15:15,640 --> 00:15:17,916 I think this is a learning opportunity for you. 331 00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:19,559 Sheldon, come on! 332 00:15:19,640 --> 00:15:21,040 I'm sorry. Did I upset you? 333 00:15:21,120 --> 00:15:22,793 - Yes! - Ask me how I feel about that. 334 00:15:27,160 --> 00:15:28,833 So where does Leonard think you are? 335 00:15:28,920 --> 00:15:30,400 Oh. I told him I was at yoga. 336 00:15:30,480 --> 00:15:32,280 Well, you are stretching the truth. 337 00:15:33,480 --> 00:15:35,517 Oh, yeah? Where does Sheldon think you are? 338 00:15:35,600 --> 00:15:37,592 Oh. Sheldon's kinda like a dog. 339 00:15:37,680 --> 00:15:39,558 He doesn't really think about me when I'm gone 340 00:15:39,640 --> 00:15:41,154 but he's so happy when I show up. 341 00:15:42,720 --> 00:15:43,756 Oh. 342 00:15:43,840 --> 00:15:45,354 Who likes Easy-Bake quesadilla? 343 00:15:45,760 --> 00:15:46,760 Oh, me! 344 00:15:47,360 --> 00:15:48,589 Oh! Hot. 345 00:15:49,080 --> 00:15:49,957 Shh! 346 00:15:50,040 --> 00:15:51,696 Thanks for letting me come over and hang. 347 00:15:51,720 --> 00:15:53,518 So Leonard still hasn't made a decision yet? 348 00:15:53,600 --> 00:15:55,876 No. And I've really been laying on the guilt. 349 00:15:55,960 --> 00:15:57,713 Did you break out the sad eyes? 350 00:15:57,800 --> 00:15:59,154 You mean these bad boys? 351 00:16:02,920 --> 00:16:03,831 What do we do? 352 00:16:03,920 --> 00:16:05,856 We're just gonna have to wait till they go back inside. 353 00:16:05,880 --> 00:16:10,079 Okay. Okay. Can we very quietly open that second bottle of wine? 354 00:16:12,360 --> 00:16:16,798 Hey. Don't freak out, but I think there's someone in your playhouse. 355 00:16:17,360 --> 00:16:19,716 Oh, yeah, that's just Bernadette. 356 00:16:22,400 --> 00:16:24,392 She's been hiding out there all week. 357 00:16:24,480 --> 00:16:25,800 Really, why? 358 00:16:26,360 --> 00:16:28,556 Oh. I don't know. 359 00:16:28,640 --> 00:16:30,359 She's been a little overwhelmed at work, 360 00:16:30,440 --> 00:16:33,239 and frankly, me and the kids are a lot. 361 00:16:33,320 --> 00:16:35,710 She just needs some downtime. 362 00:16:35,800 --> 00:16:37,678 And you just pretend like you don't know? 363 00:16:38,480 --> 00:16:39,311 Sure. 364 00:16:39,400 --> 00:16:41,073 I mean, that's how marriage works. 365 00:16:41,640 --> 00:16:42,790 Three years ago, 366 00:16:42,880 --> 00:16:47,830 I told her I got life insurance and I totally didn't. 367 00:16:48,720 --> 00:16:50,496 If someday she's gonna find out, I'm gonna say, 368 00:16:50,520 --> 00:16:52,557 "Ah! I know you've been hiding in the playhouse!" 369 00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:56,399 Why don't you just get the life insurance? 370 00:16:57,800 --> 00:16:58,916 Whose side are you on? 371 00:17:01,880 --> 00:17:03,096 Can you hear what they're saying? 372 00:17:03,120 --> 00:17:04,120 I'm trying. 373 00:17:06,480 --> 00:17:08,551 Oh. Sounds like Penny's in there too. 374 00:17:11,960 --> 00:17:13,189 Seriously, Leonard? 375 00:17:13,280 --> 00:17:14,475 You didn't pick my project? 376 00:17:14,560 --> 00:17:15,880 I'm sorry, Raj. 377 00:17:15,960 --> 00:17:17,599 - What, you go with crow lady? - No. 378 00:17:17,720 --> 00:17:18,995 You gave the money to Kripke? 379 00:17:19,080 --> 00:17:20,080 I did not. 380 00:17:20,480 --> 00:17:23,598 Wait, I'm confused. I thought there were only three projects in contention. 381 00:17:23,680 --> 00:17:24,511 Well, there were. 382 00:17:24,600 --> 00:17:27,195 But at the last minute someone submitted an application 383 00:17:27,280 --> 00:17:31,433 for a pretty cool Europium-doped laser and they made a very compelling case. 384 00:17:32,120 --> 00:17:33,120 What was the case? 385 00:17:33,160 --> 00:17:35,516 Oh. That it was me and I wanted it. 386 00:17:37,600 --> 00:17:39,876 You can't do that. You can't just fund your own project. 387 00:17:39,960 --> 00:17:42,191 Turns out I can and I did. 388 00:17:43,960 --> 00:17:46,794 Interesting, what about not wanting everybody to be mad at you? 389 00:17:46,880 --> 00:17:49,349 Well, I realized that no matter what decision I made, 390 00:17:49,440 --> 00:17:52,239 people were gonna be mad at me, and this way I get a laser. 391 00:17:53,840 --> 00:17:56,036 That is the most selfish thing you've ever done. 392 00:17:56,120 --> 00:17:57,120 I'm proud of you. 393 00:17:58,760 --> 00:17:59,557 I don't care. 394 00:17:59,680 --> 00:18:01,194 - Yes, you do. - Yeah, I do. 395 00:18:08,880 --> 00:18:10,792 The Europium-laser is so cool. 396 00:18:10,880 --> 00:18:12,872 It has a four level FF transition, 397 00:18:12,960 --> 00:18:14,713 which provides for high power output 398 00:18:14,800 --> 00:18:17,315 and it's quantum efficiency is off the charts. 399 00:18:17,680 --> 00:18:18,511 What're you going to use it for? 400 00:18:18,600 --> 00:18:20,000 I have no idea. 401 00:18:24,640 --> 00:18:25,640 Leonard, 402 00:18:26,560 --> 00:18:27,789 there's a crow on your roof. 403 00:18:28,800 --> 00:18:29,800 I see it. 404 00:18:30,800 --> 00:18:32,393 Is that one of Dr. Lee's crows? 405 00:18:33,680 --> 00:18:35,433 It has a tag on its leg. 406 00:18:39,520 --> 00:18:41,512 Don't make any sudden moves. 407 00:18:41,600 --> 00:18:43,671 Smart. Let's stand perfectly still until they... 408 00:18:43,760 --> 00:18:44,796 He's the one you want! 409 00:18:45,305 --> 00:19:45,626 Do you want subtitles for any video? -=[ ai.OpenSubtitles.com ]=-