"Superstar" Quiero la cabeza de Paco Porras

1 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074 2 00:00:14,240 --> 00:00:18,280 Briefly ahead of "No Cambié," Tamara had presented herself in the media 3 00:00:18,360 --> 00:00:21,400 as the girlfriend of Paco Porras, the clairvoyant. 4 00:00:21,480 --> 00:00:23,120 What became of Paco Porras? 5 00:00:23,680 --> 00:00:28,520 In one of his last appearances on television, he told a horrifying story. 6 00:00:29,120 --> 00:00:34,280 He said he had been kidnapped by a secret society in the town of Altea 7 00:00:34,360 --> 00:00:37,680 and that he'd been tortured and sexually abused for months. 8 00:00:39,560 --> 00:00:41,600 Many thought he was lying, of course. 9 00:00:41,680 --> 00:00:44,720 At the end of the day, who is Paco Porras? 10 00:00:45,320 --> 00:00:48,520 Someone who claims to read the future in fruit and vegetables. 11 00:00:48,600 --> 00:00:50,760 But even the harshest skeptics know 12 00:00:51,360 --> 00:00:53,720 that within every lie there's a spark of truth. 13 00:00:54,360 --> 00:00:57,000 And if the truth behind Paco Porras is proportionate 14 00:00:57,080 --> 00:01:00,440 to the size of the supposed lies that spill out of his mouth… 15 00:01:01,520 --> 00:01:04,080 …well, then that truth is 16 00:01:04,800 --> 00:01:06,000 blinding. 17 00:01:25,320 --> 00:01:28,320 -Evening, my dear. I've arrived. -They'll be with you in a moment. 18 00:01:28,400 --> 00:01:30,120 -I appreciate your patience. -Sure. 19 00:01:31,080 --> 00:01:35,440 Podemos was not born simply to play a testimonial role. 20 00:01:35,520 --> 00:01:38,280 We were born to win, to show Spain 21 00:01:38,360 --> 00:01:41,240 that we can put an end to its bipartisan political system. 22 00:01:41,880 --> 00:01:43,400 As of tomorrow… 23 00:01:43,480 --> 00:01:44,480 What a disgrace! 24 00:01:45,120 --> 00:01:48,840 An atrocity! And a… shame to reach this age to witness this. 25 00:01:48,920 --> 00:01:50,200 …five million votes. 26 00:01:50,280 --> 00:01:53,920 We are the biggest party representing the working class… 27 00:02:03,680 --> 00:02:05,560 Hey, if you voted for him, I'm sorry. 28 00:02:05,640 --> 00:02:08,280 I, uh, have a lot of respect for everyone's choices. 29 00:02:09,400 --> 00:02:15,440 People like me learn to surrender to the changing tides of society, 30 00:02:15,520 --> 00:02:17,520 even if they lead us to damnation. 31 00:02:19,720 --> 00:02:22,320 You said people like you? Right-wingers? 32 00:02:22,400 --> 00:02:24,680 No, clairvoyants. 33 00:02:25,640 --> 00:02:27,760 -What've you come here for? -For a tarot reading. 34 00:02:28,800 --> 00:02:30,400 I show up, spout some nonsense, 35 00:02:30,480 --> 00:02:32,640 slip in a dirty joke for a bit of flavor, then I'm off. 36 00:02:35,320 --> 00:02:38,600 But what matters, the real stuff, the good stuff… 37 00:02:39,640 --> 00:02:41,360 No one wants to hear the good stuff. 38 00:02:43,080 --> 00:02:44,960 Go, ask me a big question. Go. 39 00:02:45,040 --> 00:02:47,000 Uh… When's the apocalypse coming? 40 00:02:47,080 --> 00:02:49,400 Three years from now, in 2018. Next question. 41 00:02:49,920 --> 00:02:52,280 Why do I feel like I've already seen your face? 42 00:02:52,800 --> 00:02:57,320 Well, I dunno. It's my first time here. I dunno where you've seen me before. 43 00:02:57,400 --> 00:02:59,880 No, no, no. We know each other from somewhere. 44 00:03:00,600 --> 00:03:04,760 Goodness, they don't mess around here, do they? What we've come to. 45 00:03:06,160 --> 00:03:09,640 I don't get spooked easily though. I've got my fair share of baggage. 46 00:03:10,320 --> 00:03:11,280 I really do. 47 00:03:12,640 --> 00:03:15,680 In my prime, I frequented the most exclusive spots. 48 00:03:16,840 --> 00:03:19,560 I've thrown parties that if the world knew about… 49 00:03:19,640 --> 00:03:22,600 Who was in attendance, all the filthy things they've done… 50 00:03:22,680 --> 00:03:24,960 Heads would roll and governments would fall. 51 00:03:25,760 --> 00:03:29,480 I was once invited to a massive wedding at a ministry they closed down for us. 52 00:03:29,560 --> 00:03:33,400 There was a raffle and the winner could put whatever they liked 53 00:03:33,480 --> 00:03:35,080 in their country's constitution. 54 00:03:35,160 --> 00:03:37,800 Change an article or draw a picture of a big cock. 55 00:03:38,600 --> 00:03:39,480 A free-for-all. 56 00:03:40,200 --> 00:03:43,240 And when dawn broke, we would all gather naked 57 00:03:43,320 --> 00:03:45,720 in front of an altar and sip some "chempagne." 58 00:03:46,480 --> 00:03:47,440 "Chempagne"? 59 00:03:47,520 --> 00:03:51,680 "Chempagne" is champagne served in the skull of Che Guevara. 60 00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:54,360 I know who you are now. 61 00:03:55,000 --> 00:03:56,400 You're Paco Porras. 62 00:03:57,000 --> 00:03:59,160 Ah! 63 00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:00,880 Oh, damn, I… 64 00:04:02,000 --> 00:04:03,080 What a surprise! 65 00:04:03,160 --> 00:04:04,760 I thought I was ancient history 66 00:04:05,480 --> 00:04:08,120 for the younger generation, more like a crumbling statue. 67 00:04:08,200 --> 00:04:10,120 Paco, but how could I forget you, honey? 68 00:04:10,200 --> 00:04:12,680 I watched you on TV all the time with my mother. 69 00:04:12,760 --> 00:04:15,320 -You are so funny. -Your mother sounds charming. 70 00:04:16,640 --> 00:04:19,840 Give her a big hug for me and tell her to eat her vegetables. 71 00:04:23,000 --> 00:04:24,440 One moment, okay? 72 00:04:27,040 --> 00:04:30,560 So, uh… You got any of your fruits and veggies with you? 73 00:04:30,640 --> 00:04:31,560 For fruitology? 74 00:04:31,640 --> 00:04:35,040 I usually reserve that stuff for more private events. 75 00:04:35,720 --> 00:04:38,600 Those years on TV gave me a bad rep. 76 00:04:39,200 --> 00:04:41,360 I prefer to live a more discreet life nowadays. 77 00:04:42,320 --> 00:04:43,760 -On me. -You're such a doll. 78 00:04:45,840 --> 00:04:49,560 It has been a while since I've found a halfway decent gig 79 00:04:50,240 --> 00:04:51,800 in a high-end venue. 80 00:04:51,880 --> 00:04:55,120 If this is the beginning of a good spell, it's because you've brought me luck. 81 00:04:55,200 --> 00:04:56,960 Well, I hope so, Paco. 82 00:04:58,120 --> 00:04:59,120 You be safe. 83 00:04:59,920 --> 00:05:01,320 -Goodbye. -See you. 84 00:05:05,920 --> 00:05:10,320 THEY'VE LIED TO YOU. GET OUT THROUGH THE GARAGE EXIT. NOW! 85 00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:49,640 Hey! What's going on? What's going on? What's happening? 86 00:05:50,160 --> 00:05:53,640 Careful. Careful. Please don't hurt me. I beg you! 87 00:05:53,720 --> 00:05:55,880 No! Wait! Where are you taking me? 88 00:05:55,960 --> 00:05:58,200 Wait. Why don't we calm down and speak like adults? 89 00:06:00,520 --> 00:06:01,920 I'm a senior citizen! 90 00:06:03,440 --> 00:06:05,120 I'm a senior citizen! 91 00:06:05,680 --> 00:06:07,280 Please don't hurt me. Please! 92 00:07:28,280 --> 00:07:29,840 SUPERSTAR 93 00:07:36,680 --> 00:07:39,600 BRING ME THE HEAD OF PACO PORRAS 94 00:07:39,680 --> 00:07:41,520 EPISODE 4 95 00:07:44,080 --> 00:07:45,320 Hello, hi. 96 00:08:00,360 --> 00:08:01,720 -Paco. -Hmm? 97 00:08:04,240 --> 00:08:05,480 What's for lunch today? 98 00:08:06,240 --> 00:08:08,480 Honestly. I'm to the point you show me a drumstick 99 00:08:08,560 --> 00:08:11,680 and I'm not sure if it's for eating or shoving up my butthole. 100 00:08:13,240 --> 00:08:14,920 Paco, listen to me. 101 00:08:19,840 --> 00:08:22,120 I think I've found a way to get you out of here. 102 00:08:22,200 --> 00:08:25,920 There is a secret passage between the kitchen and the back garden. 103 00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:27,600 It's where they take out the trash. 104 00:08:28,400 --> 00:08:32,080 Well, thank you for the offer. I didn't love the analogy though. 105 00:08:32,800 --> 00:08:35,160 But I don't think it's worth putting myself in danger. 106 00:08:35,240 --> 00:08:37,360 -Paco, but why? -Because we'll get caught. 107 00:08:37,440 --> 00:08:39,640 And they'll stretch my butthole as wide as a watermelon. 108 00:08:39,720 --> 00:08:42,880 -And you they'll hang up like a cured ham. -What makes you think so? 109 00:08:43,720 --> 00:08:45,440 Is it because you don't trust me? 110 00:08:47,960 --> 00:08:49,280 Is it because I'm a woman? 111 00:08:50,840 --> 00:08:54,320 I've been reading on the internet that you're a major misogynist, you know? 112 00:08:55,640 --> 00:08:56,680 Well… 113 00:08:59,360 --> 00:09:00,520 I am many things. 114 00:09:01,200 --> 00:09:03,440 Well, I don't believe you're such a horrible person. 115 00:09:04,120 --> 00:09:06,280 You just like being the center of attention. 116 00:09:06,360 --> 00:09:09,000 Then I'm right where I should be, huh? 117 00:09:10,880 --> 00:09:12,840 Of course I trust you. 118 00:09:12,920 --> 00:09:15,280 It's me. I don't think I'm a fortunate guy. 119 00:09:15,360 --> 00:09:17,800 I'm not a lucky person, to be quite honest. 120 00:09:18,440 --> 00:09:21,080 So, if I had even a little faith, I'd be the world's biggest moron. 121 00:09:21,960 --> 00:09:24,240 -Have you always felt like this? -Not at all. 122 00:09:25,120 --> 00:09:26,120 Well then, 123 00:09:26,200 --> 00:09:27,920 what happened to you? 124 00:09:28,960 --> 00:09:30,840 It's not exactly a fairy tale. 125 00:09:36,320 --> 00:09:39,520 As I was saying, I was the happiest of children. 126 00:09:43,280 --> 00:09:44,800 I had a privileged childhood. 127 00:09:44,880 --> 00:09:48,320 For example, while other kids had imaginary friends, 128 00:09:48,400 --> 00:09:51,400 I was visited by saints, virgins, and martyrs. 129 00:09:52,480 --> 00:09:54,680 I was like the kid in Marcelino, Pan y Vino. 130 00:09:54,760 --> 00:09:58,040 You might not know it but it's like Harry Potter for Catholics. 131 00:09:59,160 --> 00:10:01,680 I was well aware I wasn't just an ordinary child, 132 00:10:02,240 --> 00:10:05,120 but one morning, I discovered my real talent. 133 00:10:12,480 --> 00:10:15,840 I had the ability to see the future in fruits and vegetables. 134 00:10:17,400 --> 00:10:19,240 I needed something bigger than the Bible. 135 00:10:19,320 --> 00:10:22,640 So, I immersed myself in the world of occultism and parapsychology. 136 00:10:22,720 --> 00:10:24,720 My world kept growing bigger and bigger. 137 00:10:29,200 --> 00:10:32,240 I started to make a name for myself before I got my first pimple. 138 00:10:32,320 --> 00:10:35,640 At 13 years old, I was awarded the Silver Shell for best mentalist 139 00:10:35,720 --> 00:10:37,560 at the San Sebastián Magic Festival. 140 00:10:37,640 --> 00:10:39,800 Bravo! 141 00:10:40,520 --> 00:10:43,000 I also took my first steps into the world of show business 142 00:10:43,080 --> 00:10:44,160 at a very young age. 143 00:10:44,240 --> 00:10:48,600 My parents, who were directors at the town's puppet theater of El Retiro, 144 00:10:48,680 --> 00:10:51,080 invited me to join them on a television show. 145 00:10:51,160 --> 00:10:54,000 -I'm very well, thank you. -I played Tejerín. 146 00:10:54,080 --> 00:10:57,280 Inspired by Lieutenant Colonel Antonio Tejero. 147 00:10:58,720 --> 00:11:01,800 In order to get into character, I studied him in depth. 148 00:11:01,880 --> 00:11:05,040 Everybody on the ground! Sit down, dammit! 149 00:11:05,120 --> 00:11:08,640 And I discovered that Tejero had some truly fascinating ideas. 150 00:11:09,240 --> 00:11:11,600 But my parents had other ideas. 151 00:11:11,680 --> 00:11:12,760 -Oh, no! -I told you-- 152 00:11:12,840 --> 00:11:16,680 -Stricter, less tolerant ideas. -No, Papa! Papa, no! 153 00:11:17,680 --> 00:11:20,880 That was my first run-in with censorship. 154 00:11:22,120 --> 00:11:24,120 To regain my confidence, 155 00:11:24,640 --> 00:11:28,040 I asked a pineapple to show me what I would be like as an adult. 156 00:11:36,720 --> 00:11:38,440 I liked what I saw so much 157 00:11:39,720 --> 00:11:43,600 that I decided to refashion my puppet to look like me as an adult. 158 00:11:44,160 --> 00:11:48,360 I named him "Paquito Churros." And his time would come. 159 00:11:48,440 --> 00:11:51,320 -We are, we are, we are gnomes -We are gnomes? 160 00:11:51,400 --> 00:11:54,840 Meanwhile, I continued developing my career as a cartoon dubbing artist. 161 00:11:54,920 --> 00:11:59,800 -Around the world with Willy Fog. -Around, round, around… 162 00:11:59,880 --> 00:12:03,120 I also appeared in the movie Miedo a Salir de Noche. 163 00:12:03,720 --> 00:12:05,960 I almost didn't survive 'cause the director, 164 00:12:06,040 --> 00:12:07,400 who was a bit of a sadist, 165 00:12:07,480 --> 00:12:09,560 told the other actors to beat me up for real. 166 00:12:09,640 --> 00:12:11,880 That's awful! And what did you do? 167 00:12:11,960 --> 00:12:13,160 Huh? 168 00:12:13,240 --> 00:12:15,520 I'm sure you reported this director, right? 169 00:12:15,600 --> 00:12:16,920 I mean, you know. 170 00:12:17,520 --> 00:12:18,960 In film, it's like that. 171 00:12:19,560 --> 00:12:21,120 Eloy, though? Genius, honestly. 172 00:12:21,680 --> 00:12:23,800 -Bit of a commie, but what can you do? -You and commies. 173 00:12:23,880 --> 00:12:25,120 What have you got against them? 174 00:12:25,200 --> 00:12:28,360 What do you mean? They're leeches, honey. Who likes to get their blood sucked? 175 00:12:29,000 --> 00:12:32,720 I respect everybody, okay? I haven't even asked which way you swing. 176 00:12:32,800 --> 00:12:35,400 Well, I don't make it my business to judge others. 177 00:12:38,560 --> 00:12:41,560 Why don't I finish this story and then tell me how you feel? 178 00:12:42,360 --> 00:12:45,640 In the '90s, I moved to one of the most spectacular houses 179 00:12:45,720 --> 00:12:46,960 in all of Madrid. 180 00:12:47,040 --> 00:12:50,360 That palace had been home to marquises, countesses, 181 00:12:50,920 --> 00:12:52,960 and Isabel II's doctor, a huge perv, 182 00:12:53,040 --> 00:12:55,760 who'd slept in every single whorehouse in Madrid. 183 00:12:56,880 --> 00:12:59,280 That place had so much history, so much magic, 184 00:12:59,360 --> 00:13:02,160 so much mystery, that the ghosts had to join a waitlist 185 00:13:02,240 --> 00:13:03,600 to give you a haunt. 186 00:13:05,160 --> 00:13:08,080 Let's see. Right now, you're at the height of your bullfighting career, 187 00:13:08,160 --> 00:13:09,280 as I had predicted. 188 00:13:09,360 --> 00:13:11,760 And what you really need is a woman. 189 00:13:12,480 --> 00:13:14,880 A nice, discreet one, from a humble background, 190 00:13:14,960 --> 00:13:16,160 who'll put up with you. 191 00:13:16,240 --> 00:13:18,440 And drink plenty of spirulina. 192 00:13:18,520 --> 00:13:21,240 Hey, you folks, back there! Keep it down, please! 193 00:13:21,760 --> 00:13:24,560 My fruitology practice was very popular. 194 00:13:24,640 --> 00:13:28,320 But what really catapulted me into fame was my segment on Tiempo de Marte. 195 00:13:28,400 --> 00:13:30,440 Paco Porras! 196 00:13:30,520 --> 00:13:34,080 That's where I became the Paco Porras I always dreamed of. 197 00:13:34,160 --> 00:13:35,760 FRUITOLOGIST 198 00:13:36,360 --> 00:13:38,680 -Hey there. -Hi, Paco. Welcome to the show. 199 00:13:38,760 --> 00:13:41,000 -Welcome. -It's an honor to be with you guys. 200 00:13:41,080 --> 00:13:43,160 What do you have there, Paco? 201 00:13:43,240 --> 00:13:45,440 I decided to come with a bit of light reading. 202 00:13:47,280 --> 00:13:49,760 The end of the 20th century was pretty good to me. 203 00:13:50,280 --> 00:13:51,640 But when the 21st century came… 204 00:13:53,160 --> 00:13:54,760 …I was struck by a curse. 205 00:13:58,480 --> 00:14:01,960 Disaster began the day I received an extraordinary invitation. 206 00:14:16,400 --> 00:14:18,400 It was from a secret society. 207 00:14:18,480 --> 00:14:21,560 They wanted to meet me in one of the most magical spots in Madrid. 208 00:14:22,240 --> 00:14:25,480 The Tooth Fairy Museum on Arenal Street. 209 00:14:30,840 --> 00:14:34,360 He placed it next to the tooth, under her pillow and waited, determined, 210 00:14:34,440 --> 00:14:37,640 until sleep overcame him, only to wake up face-to-face with him. 211 00:14:37,720 --> 00:14:40,440 A very old little mouse! 212 00:14:40,520 --> 00:14:43,040 He transformed him with his magic… Poof! 213 00:14:43,120 --> 00:14:47,200 …so they could leave the palace together onto Jacometrezo Street. 214 00:14:47,280 --> 00:14:50,080 And once they had made it past the fearsome cat, 215 00:14:50,160 --> 00:14:52,800 he and the little mouse continued on their merry way 216 00:14:52,880 --> 00:14:54,600 down the busy streets of Madrid. 217 00:15:21,280 --> 00:15:22,320 Hmm. 218 00:15:36,000 --> 00:15:37,040 No, what? 219 00:15:46,240 --> 00:15:48,080 Oh, come on. Move! Please. 220 00:15:55,440 --> 00:15:59,000 Among the people who'd summoned me, there were entrepreneurs, ministers, 221 00:15:59,080 --> 00:16:01,240 and members of the Royal Spanish Academy. 222 00:16:01,320 --> 00:16:04,440 They called themselves "Kilometer 0." 223 00:16:15,240 --> 00:16:17,160 Alastor 224 00:16:21,360 --> 00:16:23,560 My God. Why'd you put that in the middle of your flag? 225 00:16:23,640 --> 00:16:26,800 You mean, this majestic and mystical bull? 226 00:16:26,880 --> 00:16:29,320 You had tons of animals to pick from but you chose to smack that 227 00:16:29,400 --> 00:16:30,280 on the Spanish flag. 228 00:16:30,360 --> 00:16:34,240 -I dunno, um, a bird of prey, a-- -You seem disappointed. 229 00:16:34,320 --> 00:16:35,960 I mean, look, when you wrote and explained 230 00:16:36,040 --> 00:16:38,800 that you watch over the material and spiritual order of Spain, 231 00:16:38,880 --> 00:16:40,320 I expected something more impressive. 232 00:16:40,400 --> 00:16:43,840 We don't subscribe to any kind of political philosophy. 233 00:16:44,400 --> 00:16:45,680 And all philosophies are welcome. 234 00:16:45,760 --> 00:16:47,600 Have you got any communists in here? 235 00:16:47,680 --> 00:16:49,080 No, I'm kidding. 236 00:16:49,600 --> 00:16:52,000 If you did, they would've stolen the curtains by now. 237 00:16:52,080 --> 00:16:56,280 Spain is way more than a geographical area! 238 00:16:56,360 --> 00:16:58,760 If we look at it from a four-dimensional perspective, 239 00:16:58,840 --> 00:17:01,160 Spain has its architecture. 240 00:17:01,240 --> 00:17:04,920 And where there is architecture, there are architects. Just like us! 241 00:17:05,800 --> 00:17:09,720 And you, Paco Porras, have a brilliant mind, which few possess. 242 00:17:10,360 --> 00:17:13,800 You are a media expert, and you're able to create meanings, 243 00:17:14,400 --> 00:17:16,080 characters, symbols. 244 00:17:16,880 --> 00:17:19,320 You, sir, are an agent of our pop culture. 245 00:17:20,160 --> 00:17:23,600 And you have a massive and vulnerable audience. 246 00:17:23,680 --> 00:17:25,960 Honestly, I find praise unsettling. 247 00:17:26,560 --> 00:17:28,960 That's not true. Carry on, please. Sorry I interrupted you. 248 00:17:29,600 --> 00:17:33,040 What are your thoughts on the feminist perspective? 249 00:17:33,640 --> 00:17:35,600 Hah! I've never had such a thought. 250 00:17:36,120 --> 00:17:39,280 In two decades, you won't dare say that in public. 251 00:17:39,360 --> 00:17:42,480 Why's that? Why not, huh? Will a meteor strike the planet? 252 00:17:42,560 --> 00:17:44,920 -What are we talking about? -Look at that image. 253 00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:50,880 Hear us roar, patriarchy is no more… 254 00:17:50,960 --> 00:17:54,440 That is a demonstration that will take place 8th March, 255 00:17:54,520 --> 00:17:56,440 of the year 2018. 256 00:17:58,200 --> 00:18:02,120 Is that footage from the future? Who gave this to you? Martians? 257 00:18:02,200 --> 00:18:03,960 It's a space time-tunnel. 258 00:18:05,200 --> 00:18:09,200 It's a public demonstration demanding women's rights. 259 00:18:12,080 --> 00:18:15,080 Wait. A feminist, public demonstration in 2018? 260 00:18:15,160 --> 00:18:17,200 The same year you told me the apocalypse is happening? 261 00:18:17,280 --> 00:18:18,120 So what do you care? 262 00:18:18,200 --> 00:18:20,240 That's what I was referring to when I said apocalypse. 263 00:18:20,320 --> 00:18:21,760 That demonstration. 264 00:18:22,280 --> 00:18:25,800 Feminists fight for every right. 265 00:18:25,880 --> 00:18:28,880 What you are observing is a paradigm shift. 266 00:18:28,960 --> 00:18:31,080 For now, it's just a possibility. 267 00:18:31,760 --> 00:18:34,440 But if we don't act now, it'll become a reality. 268 00:18:35,520 --> 00:18:41,360 The ancient sacred texts describe a flower grown out of two flowers. 269 00:18:43,920 --> 00:18:47,800 Right. A woman born of two mothers? 270 00:18:47,880 --> 00:18:49,480 That's not good. 271 00:18:49,560 --> 00:18:51,400 She is sorcery made real. 272 00:18:53,240 --> 00:18:56,680 Her mere existence, amplified by the media landscape, 273 00:18:57,280 --> 00:18:59,720 will trigger a semantic explosion 274 00:18:59,800 --> 00:19:03,240 which will eventually result in a variation in the harmonies 275 00:19:03,320 --> 00:19:05,000 of dominant perspectives. 276 00:19:05,080 --> 00:19:09,680 -The feminists are here to stay! -The feminists are here to stay! 277 00:19:10,320 --> 00:19:11,680 Why am I here again? 278 00:19:14,120 --> 00:19:18,120 You dominate the spaces where we believe this woman dwells. 279 00:19:18,200 --> 00:19:21,520 Television, cinema, theater… 280 00:19:22,760 --> 00:19:25,280 Find her, and deactivate her, 281 00:19:26,000 --> 00:19:27,240 as soon as you can. 282 00:19:27,320 --> 00:19:30,440 Right, and if I agree, what do… what do I get out of it? 283 00:19:31,920 --> 00:19:34,400 Well, uh, wh… whatever you want. 284 00:19:35,320 --> 00:19:37,080 I want to win a Prince of Asturias Award. 285 00:19:39,960 --> 00:19:41,200 So, who was she? 286 00:19:41,840 --> 00:19:44,520 Please, you really think I believed a single bit of that bullshit? 287 00:19:46,560 --> 00:19:49,320 To me, this whole prophecy of the girl born of two flowers 288 00:19:49,400 --> 00:19:51,360 seemed like the biggest pile of crap. 289 00:19:51,960 --> 00:19:54,680 But I wanted that Prince of Asturias Award, of course. 290 00:19:54,760 --> 00:19:58,240 So I had no choice. I had to play along with it somehow. 291 00:19:58,920 --> 00:20:01,520 What they wanted was for me to find some crazy doomsday bitch 292 00:20:01,600 --> 00:20:03,120 and put her on a tight leash. 293 00:20:04,680 --> 00:20:07,520 So that people wouldn't see her as some galactic creature, 294 00:20:07,600 --> 00:20:11,360 but rather as a traditional lady, a modest woman, ordinary. 295 00:20:12,480 --> 00:20:14,240 They wanted me to marry her. 296 00:20:15,160 --> 00:20:17,360 And then, I was lucky enough to stumble upon 297 00:20:17,440 --> 00:20:19,080 a perfect, unsuspecting idiot. 298 00:20:19,160 --> 00:20:21,520 One I could win over and convince Kilometer 0 299 00:20:21,600 --> 00:20:23,160 that she was the chosen one. 300 00:20:27,800 --> 00:20:29,960 I'll hold the doors to TV for you wide open. 301 00:20:30,040 --> 00:20:32,800 -Television? -I've been looking for someone to join me. 302 00:20:33,520 --> 00:20:36,120 Specifically, a woman to help tell the story. 303 00:20:37,880 --> 00:20:40,720 But would we have to make out or not? 304 00:20:40,800 --> 00:20:43,640 Not at all. That's the best part. You don't have to do anything. 305 00:20:43,720 --> 00:20:46,080 Not even open your mouth. I'll do the talking. 306 00:20:46,160 --> 00:20:48,000 Right, Tita? Where were we? 307 00:20:49,560 --> 00:20:51,960 But what are you gonna say in interviews? 308 00:20:52,560 --> 00:20:56,000 Well, that you and I are more than friends and that… 309 00:20:56,080 --> 00:20:57,280 That you are enigmatic, 310 00:20:58,000 --> 00:21:01,760 and wild, and sensual, and that you're, um, well… 311 00:21:01,840 --> 00:21:03,920 a lingerie model, or something like that. 312 00:21:04,000 --> 00:21:07,280 -No, wait, just say a singer. -Okay, sure. I'll figure something out. 313 00:21:07,360 --> 00:21:10,040 And maybe I could perform with Leonardo, you know? 314 00:21:10,120 --> 00:21:13,480 Because Miguel has the mix for "No Cambié" and it's the one we wanna release first. 315 00:21:13,560 --> 00:21:15,520 Don't worry, I'll manage the timing of everything. 316 00:21:15,600 --> 00:21:17,120 -Understood? -Mm-hmm. 317 00:21:17,880 --> 00:21:19,920 All right, all right. Here's the deal. 318 00:21:22,800 --> 00:21:23,640 Right. 319 00:21:24,160 --> 00:21:27,040 The main thing is to consistently stay in the headlines. 320 00:21:27,120 --> 00:21:28,640 We begin with our courtship. 321 00:21:28,720 --> 00:21:32,160 Then, after some time, we say that you've settled down… 322 00:21:32,240 --> 00:21:34,160 -Mm-hmm. -…and our relationship is serious. 323 00:21:34,760 --> 00:21:35,840 And that you're pregnant. 324 00:21:35,920 --> 00:21:36,880 -Pregnant? -Yes. 325 00:21:36,960 --> 00:21:38,800 Then it'll be easier to sell a shotgun wedding. 326 00:21:38,880 --> 00:21:39,720 Wedding? 327 00:21:39,800 --> 00:21:43,240 Well, you get the picture now. I'll think of more stuff for us later. 328 00:21:43,320 --> 00:21:45,560 Leave this to me. I'll have a plan for everything. 329 00:21:55,080 --> 00:21:57,640 No need to be nervous, okay, Tamara? Don't worry. 330 00:21:58,160 --> 00:22:01,200 If you start feeling nervous, just give me a sign and I'll come over. 331 00:22:01,280 --> 00:22:03,040 Photo-calls are just basically protocol. 332 00:22:03,120 --> 00:22:05,920 We sing a song a cappella to each other and-- 333 00:22:06,000 --> 00:22:08,120 -C'mon. Ready when you are. -Rolling? 334 00:22:08,800 --> 00:22:11,920 So, Paco, why don't you introduce us to your mysterious friend? 335 00:22:12,000 --> 00:22:14,880 Sure, well, um, she's an actress, uh, she's… 336 00:22:14,960 --> 00:22:17,080 She is… somewhat outrageous. 337 00:22:17,800 --> 00:22:21,680 Um… But very fearless. Very strong-willed, 338 00:22:21,760 --> 00:22:23,040 very forward-thinking… 339 00:22:23,120 --> 00:22:24,240 Very sincere. 340 00:22:44,160 --> 00:22:46,520 Alastor 341 00:22:46,600 --> 00:22:48,280 It's done. 342 00:22:48,880 --> 00:22:52,560 My relationship with Tamara will be announced on Tiempo de Marte. 343 00:22:53,840 --> 00:22:56,280 Well, everyone, this has worked out very well. 344 00:22:57,000 --> 00:22:58,720 We have stopped the chain reaction 345 00:22:58,800 --> 00:23:01,360 that would have resulted in feminist hegemony. 346 00:23:02,480 --> 00:23:04,920 -Let us raise a toast. -Alastor 347 00:23:05,000 --> 00:23:06,600 Oh, shit. 348 00:23:09,280 --> 00:23:11,680 Oh! No, no! Please don't hit me again. Please! 349 00:23:11,760 --> 00:23:13,760 Don't hit me again! Mercy! 350 00:23:13,840 --> 00:23:15,400 Don't beat me again with… 351 00:23:15,480 --> 00:23:18,720 with that whip that… that you've got over there. 352 00:23:18,800 --> 00:23:21,560 Don't hit me again. Please, no more! Please! 353 00:23:22,400 --> 00:23:23,680 What are you doing? Play along. 354 00:23:23,760 --> 00:23:26,120 -What are you doing? -No! Oh, no! 355 00:23:27,080 --> 00:23:28,720 But isn't this your thing though? 356 00:23:28,800 --> 00:23:30,800 Yeah, when I feel like it. 357 00:23:31,800 --> 00:23:34,680 Well then, maybe you'll feel more like it next time. 358 00:23:35,240 --> 00:23:36,320 You see how ugly I am? 359 00:23:36,400 --> 00:23:37,440 Yeah. 360 00:23:38,160 --> 00:23:41,280 Remember I'm more fascist than ugly. I'm sure that'll turn you on. 361 00:23:41,360 --> 00:23:42,720 Where was I? 362 00:23:43,720 --> 00:23:46,640 Oh, yeah. The beginning of the end. 363 00:23:46,720 --> 00:23:50,520 To be honest with you, I am so, so happy with Paco Porras, 364 00:23:50,600 --> 00:23:54,520 because… we have a really intense but very, uh… beautiful relationship. 365 00:23:54,600 --> 00:23:57,400 You and Paco Porras are dating? Are you engaged? 366 00:23:57,480 --> 00:24:01,320 I think he wants to move quickly, so I'm the one that's pumping the brakes. 367 00:24:01,400 --> 00:24:05,320 We're buzzing with excitement to hear your new single, "No Cambié." 368 00:24:05,400 --> 00:24:08,440 I didn't change I didn't change, I didn't change 369 00:24:08,520 --> 00:24:11,480 I didn't change I didn't change, I didn't change 370 00:24:11,560 --> 00:24:16,720 I'm still the same girl But I'm no longer aching for your love 371 00:24:18,800 --> 00:24:22,240 I didn't change, I didn't change… 372 00:24:28,520 --> 00:24:30,680 -Yes? -Paco, why is she singing? 373 00:24:30,760 --> 00:24:33,760 -What is going on? -Jesus, you got the TV on all day or what? 374 00:24:33,840 --> 00:24:38,560 We made it clear this woman should not talk to the media, 375 00:24:38,640 --> 00:24:40,680 except as a wife or a mother. 376 00:24:41,680 --> 00:24:42,880 Fix it, Paco! 377 00:24:55,800 --> 00:24:59,640 Relax. This is Ennio Morricone, my friend. 378 00:25:00,200 --> 00:25:02,440 He's in a trance and can't see us right now. 379 00:25:02,520 --> 00:25:03,760 What's wrong with them? 380 00:25:03,840 --> 00:25:07,120 You see, sometimes he comes to Spain and stops by my house. 381 00:25:07,200 --> 00:25:09,960 And I put him in contact with Saint Cecilia, 382 00:25:10,040 --> 00:25:11,440 the patron saint of musicians, 383 00:25:12,000 --> 00:25:13,080 who gives him a hand. 384 00:25:13,880 --> 00:25:17,320 She helps him record his music without needing an orchestra. 385 00:25:17,400 --> 00:25:19,680 Directly from his mind. 386 00:25:24,440 --> 00:25:27,000 I thought Ennio Morricone was just one man. 387 00:25:27,680 --> 00:25:29,120 He is one. 388 00:25:29,200 --> 00:25:32,160 But the thing is, well, he needs to record in stereo, 389 00:25:32,240 --> 00:25:36,040 so, first, Saint Cecilia has to… split him in two. 390 00:25:36,120 --> 00:25:38,920 One records the L channel and the other the R channel. 391 00:25:39,000 --> 00:25:40,040 Hmm. 392 00:25:40,600 --> 00:25:42,160 What did you wanna talk about? 393 00:25:43,560 --> 00:25:46,640 -I saw you on Reign of the Mornings. -Mm-hmm. 394 00:25:46,720 --> 00:25:49,400 Singing as if someone was pointing a gun at your head. 395 00:25:50,360 --> 00:25:51,920 I wasn't aware you were doing that. 396 00:25:52,440 --> 00:25:54,520 Was I supposed to tell you, or what? 397 00:25:56,360 --> 00:25:58,280 Tamara, you and I made a deal. 398 00:25:58,360 --> 00:26:01,840 And neither of us can appear on television without my approval. 399 00:26:01,920 --> 00:26:04,440 Hmm… So, Paco, um… 400 00:26:04,520 --> 00:26:07,760 I'm sorry, but I'm actually doing absolutely all of this with you 401 00:26:07,840 --> 00:26:09,160 to promote "No Cambié." 402 00:26:09,240 --> 00:26:11,160 We were super clear about that. 403 00:26:14,760 --> 00:26:15,760 From this moment on, 404 00:26:15,840 --> 00:26:17,400 no song will enter this head 405 00:26:17,480 --> 00:26:19,520 or come shooting out of this woman's lungs. 406 00:26:19,600 --> 00:26:21,840 Paco, please. What are you doing? 407 00:26:26,880 --> 00:26:28,920 -From this moment on, no song-- -Paco! 408 00:26:29,880 --> 00:26:33,320 I'm still the same girl 409 00:26:33,400 --> 00:26:39,760 But I'm no longer aching for your love 410 00:26:42,640 --> 00:26:48,320 I didn't change I didn't change, I didn't change 411 00:26:49,520 --> 00:26:54,880 I didn't change I didn't change, I didn't change 412 00:26:57,360 --> 00:27:01,480 I found a new love and… 413 00:27:01,560 --> 00:27:02,760 How did you do it? 414 00:27:03,280 --> 00:27:05,160 I don't know what you're talking about. 415 00:27:05,240 --> 00:27:06,640 -Wait! -Don't touch me! 416 00:27:07,240 --> 00:27:08,280 Sorcerer! 417 00:27:10,520 --> 00:27:12,760 Somehow, my magic had bounced off Tamara 418 00:27:12,840 --> 00:27:14,160 and exploded in my ass. 419 00:27:14,240 --> 00:27:17,120 But how was it possible? Who was this woman? 420 00:27:21,240 --> 00:27:22,440 All right, Miguel, 421 00:27:22,520 --> 00:27:25,400 but don't you think she could've toyed with black magic and stuff? 422 00:27:25,480 --> 00:27:28,320 Or white magic? Or whatever magic is trending in the Basque Country? 423 00:27:28,400 --> 00:27:29,840 I mean, her or her mother. 424 00:27:30,760 --> 00:27:33,080 Yeah, you've never heard them say anything. 425 00:27:34,040 --> 00:27:35,520 Not even a horoscope? 426 00:27:36,520 --> 00:27:38,240 Uh-huh. Right. 427 00:27:38,840 --> 00:27:41,040 Right. Well, if you ever hear… 428 00:27:43,720 --> 00:27:45,240 Stop! Stop the car! Stop! 429 00:27:45,320 --> 00:27:47,000 I felt something pass through me. 430 00:27:47,080 --> 00:27:50,400 That strange place radiated more metaphysical energy 431 00:27:50,480 --> 00:27:54,520 than the Egyptian pyramids, Area 51, and the Valley of the Fallen. 432 00:27:55,120 --> 00:27:57,920 The perfect place to cast a spell that could explain 433 00:27:58,000 --> 00:27:59,480 what the hell was going on. 434 00:28:13,760 --> 00:28:14,760 Good morning. 435 00:28:17,240 --> 00:28:20,320 Hello, darlings. Very good afternoon to you, Isabel. 436 00:28:27,840 --> 00:28:30,120 The handkerchief dance 437 00:28:37,360 --> 00:28:39,720 Almost like the Y2K effect arrived later. 438 00:28:39,800 --> 00:28:42,360 Her name is Tamara, born in Santurce, 439 00:28:42,440 --> 00:28:45,240 and she's conquered all of Spain with her song, "No Cambié." 440 00:28:45,320 --> 00:28:48,080 You must be so proud of your daughter, Margarita. 441 00:28:48,160 --> 00:28:50,560 Of course I am. And her father's proud too. 442 00:28:50,640 --> 00:28:51,600 He's in Santurce. 443 00:28:51,680 --> 00:28:55,600 What's your father's name, Tamara? We'll send a huge kiss from here. 444 00:28:55,680 --> 00:28:59,160 Well, my father's name is Floreal. We're sending him a big kiss from here. 445 00:28:59,240 --> 00:29:00,880 Floreal. 446 00:29:01,440 --> 00:29:03,280 Margarita and Floreal. 447 00:29:04,040 --> 00:29:06,960 Daughter of two flowers. It is her. 448 00:29:10,800 --> 00:29:12,720 It was her. Tamara! 449 00:29:12,800 --> 00:29:14,440 Tamara was the "Femichrist." 450 00:29:14,520 --> 00:29:17,640 Sauron's pussy. A flower of death. 451 00:29:17,720 --> 00:29:21,800 But, how could I have been so unlucky or so stupid? 452 00:29:23,000 --> 00:29:25,520 Paco, call us. This is very bad. 453 00:29:25,600 --> 00:29:30,160 Tamara has reached No. 1 on record sales and on ringtones! 454 00:29:30,240 --> 00:29:33,520 If Tamara was the chosen one, the feminist apocalypse was real. 455 00:29:33,600 --> 00:29:35,280 And what's more, it was my fault. 456 00:29:35,360 --> 00:29:37,440 …join us today so we can talk about Tamara's abortion. 457 00:29:37,520 --> 00:29:39,200 Is it true or not? 458 00:29:39,280 --> 00:29:42,640 For the first time in my life, I was paralyzed by fear. 459 00:29:42,720 --> 00:29:44,640 You see, I have made a decision. 460 00:29:45,600 --> 00:29:47,080 And I'm not here to be morbid. 461 00:29:50,800 --> 00:29:53,200 And I want to introduce you to a friend 462 00:29:53,280 --> 00:29:56,000 who's gonna entertain you every night from now on. 463 00:30:02,640 --> 00:30:03,960 Paquito Churros. 464 00:30:08,880 --> 00:30:11,760 Do you have any questions about the saints? 465 00:30:11,840 --> 00:30:13,480 'Cause I can answer them all! 466 00:30:14,280 --> 00:30:15,960 You know what I say, Paco? 467 00:30:16,040 --> 00:30:17,840 Get out of here, man! 468 00:30:17,920 --> 00:30:19,440 Get out! Go! 469 00:30:28,960 --> 00:30:31,080 It was my first big TV flop. 470 00:30:31,160 --> 00:30:34,320 And it was the first of many misfortunes I was about to suffer. 471 00:30:37,560 --> 00:30:39,600 Paco, this is a catastrophe. 472 00:30:39,680 --> 00:30:42,760 And you have disappeared off the face of the earth. 473 00:30:43,280 --> 00:30:48,080 I am very sorry, but from now on, prepare to face the consequences. 474 00:30:49,960 --> 00:30:53,320 Hey, Paco, the show had been going so well. 475 00:30:53,400 --> 00:30:56,160 -I feel bad, man. -Why? 476 00:30:56,240 --> 00:30:58,760 You haven't spoken to Jorge? I'm really sorry, buddy. 477 00:30:58,840 --> 00:31:00,760 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. We talked. 478 00:31:00,840 --> 00:31:05,200 Well, anywho… Shame they won't just let you finish the season with us. 479 00:31:06,480 --> 00:31:08,160 Look man, there's no slots. 480 00:31:08,240 --> 00:31:10,240 But if you know Tamara's people, 481 00:31:10,320 --> 00:31:12,240 give them a call and come on with her one day. 482 00:31:14,960 --> 00:31:17,640 Alastor 483 00:31:17,720 --> 00:31:19,480 Paco, are you all right? 484 00:31:20,640 --> 00:31:22,040 Fuck, you almost met your maker. 485 00:31:24,840 --> 00:31:26,960 In a matter of months, I lost friends, 486 00:31:27,040 --> 00:31:29,520 I lost lovers, I lost work. 487 00:31:30,440 --> 00:31:33,680 They even withdrew my honorary membership to the Fantasy Sauna. 488 00:31:34,840 --> 00:31:36,320 It had become clear to me 489 00:31:36,400 --> 00:31:40,680 that Kilometer 0 had cursed me for failing to fulfill my duty. 490 00:31:40,760 --> 00:31:44,880 Find her and deactivate her as soon as you can. 491 00:32:21,160 --> 00:32:23,520 Paco, you're gonna give me a heart attack. 492 00:32:24,200 --> 00:32:26,280 I'm sorry, here. What is this? 493 00:32:27,000 --> 00:32:27,960 -Hairspray or-- -No! 494 00:32:28,040 --> 00:32:29,760 What is it? 495 00:32:30,760 --> 00:32:33,640 -It's a spray for rapists, Paco. -Just what I needed. 496 00:32:34,680 --> 00:32:36,680 You won't believe it. I was walking down the street. 497 00:32:36,760 --> 00:32:39,280 I stepped on a rake, swung up and smacked me in the face. 498 00:32:39,360 --> 00:32:41,640 A garden rake, for God's sake in the middle of Madrid. 499 00:32:41,720 --> 00:32:44,720 What's next? Getting my foot stuck in a bear trap like a cartoon villain? 500 00:32:44,800 --> 00:32:45,840 What do you want, Paco? 501 00:32:45,920 --> 00:32:47,000 Hmm? 502 00:32:49,280 --> 00:32:52,200 Look, Tamara, lemme just cut to the chase. 503 00:32:52,280 --> 00:32:53,920 You're going to stop with all the nonsense, 504 00:32:54,000 --> 00:32:55,600 the bullshit and the modern stuff. 505 00:32:55,680 --> 00:32:58,520 You're gonna quit music. You're going to marry me. 506 00:32:59,360 --> 00:33:00,600 And we're gonna have a child. 507 00:33:03,040 --> 00:33:05,440 I'm sorry, but you're gonna have to work on your witchcraft. 508 00:33:06,080 --> 00:33:08,200 -You ridiculous insect. -I am no insect. 509 00:33:14,040 --> 00:33:18,320 I won't use witchcraft! I'll go back to old-fashioned methods. 510 00:33:18,960 --> 00:33:20,600 If you don't do as you're told, 511 00:33:20,680 --> 00:33:23,240 the video with Miguel will be child's play 512 00:33:23,320 --> 00:33:25,920 compared to everything I'll throw at your face. 513 00:33:26,000 --> 00:33:28,120 I'm gonna make you look like an absolute whore. 514 00:33:28,680 --> 00:33:30,040 I'm gonna make things up. 515 00:33:30,760 --> 00:33:34,240 I will show documents that'll make you and your mother die of shame. 516 00:33:40,000 --> 00:33:41,640 The "fine tuner" is what they call her 517 00:33:41,720 --> 00:33:44,120 because that's how much she tries to fake orgasms. 518 00:33:45,400 --> 00:33:48,160 Well, that explains it, because she's been doing erotic shows 519 00:33:48,240 --> 00:33:50,000 ever since she landed in Madrid. 520 00:33:51,480 --> 00:33:53,680 I've seen her having anal sex in front of hundreds of-- 521 00:33:53,760 --> 00:33:56,880 No, not hundreds. Hundreds of thousands of spectators. 522 00:33:58,200 --> 00:33:59,520 Who does she do it with? 523 00:33:59,600 --> 00:34:02,000 Why, with men from all walks of life, of course. 524 00:34:03,360 --> 00:34:05,880 With delinquents, with beggars. 525 00:34:05,960 --> 00:34:08,160 Physically challenged, old men. 526 00:34:08,680 --> 00:34:10,360 Even workhorses and donkeys. 527 00:34:10,440 --> 00:34:11,640 With innocent pets. 528 00:34:12,200 --> 00:34:14,120 And unicellular creatures. 529 00:34:14,200 --> 00:34:17,520 Even with a particle of dandruff, that dirty slut. 530 00:34:23,480 --> 00:34:25,800 Did I enjoy telling all those stupid stories? 531 00:34:25,880 --> 00:34:27,040 I don't even remember. 532 00:34:27,720 --> 00:34:31,840 Maybe I even believed them, I don't know. At that time, I was unhinged. 533 00:34:32,360 --> 00:34:34,600 If Tamara didn't succumb to my blackmail… 534 00:34:36,920 --> 00:34:39,200 …how was I going to get out of this? Who could help me? 535 00:35:08,120 --> 00:35:09,040 Hello? 536 00:35:14,080 --> 00:35:15,320 Paco Porras. 537 00:35:15,920 --> 00:35:20,200 We've been watching you for some time now. More than you can even fathom. 538 00:35:20,920 --> 00:35:23,680 What's happening? They have TVs in kitchens now? 539 00:35:26,240 --> 00:35:27,120 Hello. 540 00:35:28,720 --> 00:35:30,920 Ah! You bitch! 541 00:35:33,120 --> 00:35:36,240 We know about your special interest in the dragonfly. 542 00:35:36,320 --> 00:35:39,760 And in houseflies. And the murder hornet. What are you talking about? 543 00:35:39,840 --> 00:35:41,680 The dancing dragonfly. 544 00:35:42,520 --> 00:35:45,000 The woman who'll hypnotize an entire generation. 545 00:35:45,080 --> 00:35:47,960 Yeah, I know the story. No need to repeat it, for the love of God. 546 00:35:48,040 --> 00:35:48,880 It's Tamara. 547 00:35:48,960 --> 00:35:52,200 That hoe bag, that slut face, that giant cunt! 548 00:35:52,280 --> 00:35:54,560 If there were Tamara soup, know how it would taste? 549 00:35:54,640 --> 00:35:56,120 Would taste whore-ible! 550 00:35:59,400 --> 00:36:01,120 Do you feel more relaxed now? 551 00:36:01,720 --> 00:36:02,960 I know what you want. 552 00:36:03,840 --> 00:36:07,200 You wanna know who I work for, don't you? And if I don't tell you, I'll be tortured. 553 00:36:07,280 --> 00:36:10,240 -No, wait, I'm already being tortured. -We know everything. 554 00:36:11,240 --> 00:36:15,480 Who you are, what you represent, who you work for… 555 00:36:15,560 --> 00:36:19,520 Oh, so you're doing this for fun then. No, that's fine by me, I'm not judging. 556 00:36:26,720 --> 00:36:29,400 We want you to meet with your masters. 557 00:36:29,480 --> 00:36:30,600 What for? 558 00:36:30,680 --> 00:36:34,320 Their lair is protected by some locks of mystic nature 559 00:36:34,400 --> 00:36:37,240 that have prevented us from entering since the day it was founded. 560 00:36:38,120 --> 00:36:41,280 Seals that can only be broken from the inside. 561 00:36:46,520 --> 00:36:48,080 What is with that shape, huh? 562 00:36:49,120 --> 00:36:51,320 With wavy sides and that peephole above? 563 00:36:51,400 --> 00:36:54,920 I'm scared! Keep that away! Keep that away! And it burns?! Ahh! 564 00:36:55,000 --> 00:36:56,640 It's very simple, Paco. 565 00:36:57,640 --> 00:37:01,600 All we need is for you to remain in their secret lair for one minute 566 00:37:02,280 --> 00:37:04,360 with this seal branded on your chest. 567 00:37:06,080 --> 00:37:09,640 One minute and the lair will lose its protection. 568 00:37:10,360 --> 00:37:12,320 And we will take care of the rest. 569 00:37:13,280 --> 00:37:16,280 The total destruction of Kilometer 0. 570 00:37:18,720 --> 00:37:19,840 Um… 571 00:37:21,600 --> 00:37:22,440 Fine. 572 00:37:24,400 --> 00:37:26,120 -I'm sorry? -I'm happy to do it. 573 00:37:26,200 --> 00:37:28,240 You've convinced me, Abigail Williams. 574 00:37:28,320 --> 00:37:31,320 -But how though? -You fucking witch. 575 00:37:31,400 --> 00:37:33,240 -Really? -You've caught me on a good day. 576 00:37:33,320 --> 00:37:35,720 Let's go, pussy brand me and let's get this over with. 577 00:37:48,040 --> 00:37:48,960 Look. 578 00:37:51,000 --> 00:37:53,680 My whole life walking around with this horrendous vulva. 579 00:37:54,760 --> 00:37:56,240 Wow. Well, I have this. 580 00:37:59,360 --> 00:38:00,680 Hmm. 581 00:38:00,760 --> 00:38:02,440 Looking forward to it. 582 00:38:02,520 --> 00:38:03,760 I couldn't believe it. 583 00:38:04,400 --> 00:38:07,680 Thanks to me, Kilometer 0 and the curse were gonna go to hell. 584 00:38:08,400 --> 00:38:11,680 I was so happy I didn't care that my house was being repossessed. 585 00:38:11,760 --> 00:38:14,360 Psst, hey, you there! Come, come, come, come. 586 00:38:14,440 --> 00:38:16,680 This here… That's not all part of the lot. 587 00:38:18,840 --> 00:38:21,000 This is an invaluable family heirloom. 588 00:38:22,280 --> 00:38:25,760 Believe it or not, this pistol belonged to Simón Bolívar. 589 00:38:39,360 --> 00:38:40,680 Is that a bear trap? 590 00:38:40,760 --> 00:38:42,640 Yep. Looks like a bear trap, yeah. 591 00:38:42,720 --> 00:38:43,920 A trap for bears? 592 00:38:45,040 --> 00:38:47,000 For bears, or deer. Um… 593 00:38:47,640 --> 00:38:49,560 -Various types of animals. Hmm. -Right. 594 00:38:50,120 --> 00:38:51,200 Is it yours? 595 00:38:51,280 --> 00:38:52,880 No. No, no, no. 596 00:38:54,120 --> 00:38:56,480 -Is it yours? -No, no, no. 597 00:38:56,560 --> 00:38:57,560 Not yours either. 598 00:38:58,120 --> 00:38:58,960 Right. 599 00:38:59,040 --> 00:39:02,520 -If you ask me, it's some sort of curse? -Yes. Yes, yes. It's a curse. 600 00:39:02,600 --> 00:39:03,520 Yeah. 601 00:39:03,600 --> 00:39:05,320 -It's… It's a damn curse. -Yup. 602 00:39:14,680 --> 00:39:16,680 I just needed one minute. 603 00:39:19,280 --> 00:39:21,320 Entertain them for one minute. 604 00:39:22,320 --> 00:39:25,160 And the clit on my chest would do the rest. 605 00:39:25,960 --> 00:39:27,760 I wouldn't have to do anything else. 606 00:39:29,520 --> 00:39:31,440 Just enjoy the show. 607 00:39:36,520 --> 00:39:38,120 Evening, sirs. 608 00:39:38,960 --> 00:39:40,400 Paco, how are you? 609 00:39:40,480 --> 00:39:43,320 We wanted to see you right away. We've been very worried. 610 00:39:45,200 --> 00:39:48,000 Ah… Well, why? Worried about what? 611 00:39:48,840 --> 00:39:50,800 Experience any misfortune lately? 612 00:39:52,040 --> 00:39:54,840 Uh, some misfortune, yes. Yes, I have. 613 00:39:54,920 --> 00:39:58,480 And why do you ask? Because you put a curse on me, didn't you? 614 00:39:59,080 --> 00:40:01,160 How could you say that? What a load of nonsense! 615 00:40:01,880 --> 00:40:05,200 You agreed to intertwine your destiny with hers. 616 00:40:09,680 --> 00:40:11,240 You had one mission. 617 00:40:12,320 --> 00:40:13,720 To shackle her. 618 00:40:13,800 --> 00:40:17,200 And we've never seen her more unshackled, Paco. 619 00:40:17,880 --> 00:40:19,800 As the sacred texts say, 620 00:40:20,360 --> 00:40:22,880 "If our agent fails in his mission, 621 00:40:22,960 --> 00:40:26,080 the universe itself will curse him for eternity." 622 00:40:26,760 --> 00:40:27,600 Come again? 623 00:40:27,680 --> 00:40:30,400 A fuck-up like this kind, the kind that's metaphysical, 624 00:40:30,480 --> 00:40:31,480 leads to trouble. 625 00:40:32,320 --> 00:40:34,360 Reality itself has betrayed you. 626 00:40:34,440 --> 00:40:37,040 But why didn't you say anything about this? Why wasn't I aware? 627 00:40:37,120 --> 00:40:38,080 Fuck the fine print! 628 00:40:38,160 --> 00:40:40,880 W… well, I dunno. You seemed so confident. 629 00:40:45,560 --> 00:40:48,120 Okay, well, could you please explain how to remove the curse and… 630 00:40:48,200 --> 00:40:50,840 If you can explain in under a minute, that'd be great. 631 00:40:50,920 --> 00:40:54,480 I… I assume the idea of marrying her is pretty much impossible, huh? 632 00:40:54,560 --> 00:40:56,480 How do I remove the curse? Come on. C'mon! 633 00:40:56,560 --> 00:41:00,200 There's nothing you can do, really. Pains me to say so. 634 00:41:01,960 --> 00:41:03,160 As long as Tamara is alive… 635 00:41:03,240 --> 00:41:05,160 As long as Tamara's alive, what?! 636 00:41:06,320 --> 00:41:10,360 As long as Tamara is alive, you are screwed, Paco. 637 00:41:22,760 --> 00:41:23,920 What the hell is that? 638 00:41:25,000 --> 00:41:28,560 Oh, Paco! What have you done? What have you done? 639 00:41:28,640 --> 00:41:30,680 What have you done? 640 00:41:47,320 --> 00:41:48,720 So, in the end it all went to shit, 641 00:41:48,800 --> 00:41:50,760 and I'm stuck with this stupid curse forever. 642 00:41:52,080 --> 00:41:54,120 I spent a few years barely getting by. 643 00:41:55,000 --> 00:41:57,400 I was homeless and I was exiled from television. 644 00:41:58,520 --> 00:42:00,640 Don't ask me what I had to do to survive. 645 00:42:02,320 --> 00:42:04,040 And during all those years, 646 00:42:04,680 --> 00:42:07,120 the words of the Grand Master kept spinning inside my head. 647 00:42:09,920 --> 00:42:11,520 "As long as Tamara's alive…" 648 00:42:12,560 --> 00:42:14,200 "As long as Tamara's alive." 649 00:42:17,600 --> 00:42:21,880 So one day, I decided to silence the voices forever. 650 00:42:25,360 --> 00:42:27,120 I told you you'd end up judging me. 651 00:43:20,400 --> 00:43:22,040 Would you like some lemonade? 652 00:43:22,840 --> 00:43:24,920 My mother made it. It's delicious. 653 00:43:31,480 --> 00:43:33,680 When I was eight years old, I said to her, 654 00:43:35,360 --> 00:43:37,400 "When I'm a singer and I'm famous, 655 00:43:39,160 --> 00:43:42,000 I'll call myself Tamara, or Mecano." 656 00:43:44,040 --> 00:43:45,120 And she said… 657 00:43:48,000 --> 00:43:49,960 "Better call yourself Tamara, 658 00:43:50,720 --> 00:43:53,880 because Mecano belongs to someone else and they can steal it." 659 00:43:59,200 --> 00:44:01,880 Now it turns out there's a girl who sings boleros 660 00:44:01,960 --> 00:44:03,760 who named herself Tamara too. 661 00:44:05,840 --> 00:44:08,400 And her lawyers want to leave me with nothing. 662 00:44:09,760 --> 00:44:12,400 The record, the tour… 663 00:44:14,040 --> 00:44:15,240 Everything. 664 00:44:18,960 --> 00:44:21,560 They've taken all of us, Paco. 665 00:44:25,200 --> 00:44:28,080 For years, they showed us off like animals. 666 00:44:29,080 --> 00:44:31,080 Laughing at us. 667 00:44:33,560 --> 00:44:35,160 But it's still not enough. 668 00:44:36,120 --> 00:44:38,560 They won't even let us have our names. 669 00:44:41,800 --> 00:44:44,600 I mean, I can't-- I can't even think of another one. 670 00:44:53,360 --> 00:44:54,640 I like Yurena. 671 00:44:54,720 --> 00:44:55,760 Oh! 672 00:44:57,960 --> 00:44:59,280 It's beautiful. 673 00:45:02,560 --> 00:45:03,920 What's this? 674 00:45:05,720 --> 00:45:08,480 Actually, Mama found it on the set of Tiempo de Marte. 675 00:45:09,440 --> 00:45:10,520 Years ago now. 676 00:45:11,560 --> 00:45:14,600 It was in terrible shape but, well, since she loves to sew… 677 00:45:16,320 --> 00:45:17,720 Looks a bit like you, huh? 678 00:45:19,160 --> 00:45:20,560 You should keep it. 679 00:45:22,760 --> 00:45:23,640 No. 680 00:45:25,920 --> 00:45:26,840 It's fine here. 681 00:45:34,720 --> 00:45:37,160 Well, in the end, she listened to you, right? 682 00:45:37,760 --> 00:45:38,760 She went with "Yurena." 683 00:45:40,440 --> 00:45:42,280 It's the name of a dog-shaped demon. 684 00:45:42,840 --> 00:45:43,680 Look it up. 685 00:45:44,960 --> 00:45:47,200 I won't keep boring you with more tragic stories. 686 00:45:47,280 --> 00:45:50,440 I'm cursed forever. And that's the end of my story. 687 00:45:56,120 --> 00:45:59,240 I'll stay locked here for three months and then… 688 00:45:59,320 --> 00:46:01,760 Then they'll get sick of me and give me the boot. 689 00:46:03,560 --> 00:46:05,480 That's what it said. 690 00:46:09,480 --> 00:46:11,400 Something doesn't add up. 691 00:46:15,000 --> 00:46:18,880 If you're able to see the future, why can't your misfortunes be avoided? 692 00:46:23,480 --> 00:46:26,840 For example, that beating they gave you as a kid, on that movie set. 693 00:46:28,200 --> 00:46:30,960 Did it really take you by surprise or did you know beforehand? 694 00:46:31,600 --> 00:46:32,640 Well, I mean-- 695 00:46:32,720 --> 00:46:35,720 And if you knew beforehand, why did you go? 696 00:46:36,760 --> 00:46:39,080 Jeez, girl. Calm down. You're like the Gestapo. 697 00:46:39,160 --> 00:46:40,640 Why the interrogation? 698 00:46:43,400 --> 00:46:45,120 I think you loved it. 699 00:46:45,200 --> 00:46:47,280 Because you love to suffer. 700 00:46:47,360 --> 00:46:49,400 You love being an outcast, 701 00:46:49,480 --> 00:46:51,320 and having a curse on you, 702 00:46:52,000 --> 00:46:53,480 and being here. 703 00:46:54,520 --> 00:46:56,440 Who is Paco Porras? 704 00:46:58,040 --> 00:46:59,080 A really ugly dude. 705 00:46:59,160 --> 00:47:00,480 What else? 706 00:47:01,120 --> 00:47:02,480 -And despite being ugly… -Yes? 707 00:47:03,200 --> 00:47:05,560 -I'm more of a fascist anyway. -Say it! 708 00:47:06,640 --> 00:47:07,480 You want this? 709 00:47:07,560 --> 00:47:08,560 Yes. 710 00:47:08,640 --> 00:47:10,520 You say, "Yes, my mistress!" 711 00:47:11,720 --> 00:47:13,360 Yes, my mistress. 711 00:47:14,305 --> 00:48:14,828 Watch Online Movies and Series for FREE www.osdb.link/lm