"Rick and Morty" Morty Daddy

1 00:00:02,585 --> 00:00:06,213 I gotta ask, is someone requesting pancakes 2 00:00:06,214 --> 00:00:09,258 because it feels like we eat them all the time. 3 00:00:09,259 --> 00:00:12,261 [ Cellphone buzzing ] 4 00:00:12,262 --> 00:00:14,680 It just says, "The hospital." 5 00:00:14,681 --> 00:00:15,973 Bold caller I.D. 6 00:00:15,974 --> 00:00:19,560 Hello? Oh. H-Hey, Junior. 7 00:00:19,561 --> 00:00:20,978 Oh, geez. 8 00:00:20,979 --> 00:00:24,106 Oh. Oh, okay. Yeah. Bye. 9 00:00:24,107 --> 00:00:26,775 That was my son... 10 00:00:26,776 --> 00:00:29,236 Morty Jr., with the hands, 11 00:00:29,237 --> 00:00:30,362 you know, coming out of his head. 12 00:00:30,363 --> 00:00:32,906 Oh fuuuuuuck that guy! 13 00:00:32,907 --> 00:00:33,991 Ugh. Boo. 14 00:00:33,992 --> 00:00:35,451 Guys! Come on! Morty. 15 00:00:35,452 --> 00:00:37,077 He wrote a "New York Times" bestseller 16 00:00:37,078 --> 00:00:39,288 about what a bad dad you are. 17 00:00:39,289 --> 00:00:41,373 It made us look bad for raising you. 18 00:00:41,374 --> 00:00:44,376 From one writer to another, the guy is a hack piece of shit. 19 00:00:44,377 --> 00:00:46,336 It's okay to hate your kids, Morty. 20 00:00:46,337 --> 00:00:48,922 But he called from the hospital. 21 00:00:48,923 --> 00:00:50,507 [ Gasps ] You think he's dying? 22 00:00:50,508 --> 00:00:51,717 Who cares? 23 00:00:51,718 --> 00:00:54,053 [ Cellphone buzzing ] 24 00:00:54,054 --> 00:00:55,929 Well, it's not me. 25 00:00:55,930 --> 00:00:58,432 [ Burps ] Oh, shit. Our table's ready. 26 00:00:58,433 --> 00:00:59,558 OMG! 27 00:00:59,559 --> 00:01:01,268 Summer made me get a reservation for us 28 00:01:01,269 --> 00:01:03,187 at some dumb Pre-Cog restaurant. 29 00:01:03,188 --> 00:01:04,646 It's the toast of Food-Tok. 30 00:01:04,647 --> 00:01:06,148 They predetermine what you'd want to eat 31 00:01:06,149 --> 00:01:08,317 before you even get there. 32 00:01:08,318 --> 00:01:09,735 Time to see if this place is worth having to go to it. 33 00:01:09,736 --> 00:01:11,945 It'll beat this shit. [ Glass shatters ] 34 00:01:11,946 --> 00:01:13,322 Opa! [ Glass shatters ] 35 00:01:13,323 --> 00:01:15,866 Hey, Morty. Sorry about your terrible son. 36 00:01:15,867 --> 00:01:18,118 I say let him die alone in that hospital bed. 37 00:01:18,119 --> 00:01:19,453 [ Buzzing ] 38 00:01:19,454 --> 00:01:21,663 Damn. Rule of threes, huh? 39 00:01:21,664 --> 00:01:23,624 Oh! My vibrator. 40 00:01:23,625 --> 00:01:25,667 Sorry, honey. 41 00:01:25,668 --> 00:01:27,461 <i>Our</i> vibrator. 42 00:01:27,462 --> 00:01:30,255 What, do you want me to pull it out and show it to you? 43 00:01:30,256 --> 00:01:31,965 We're good. Let's get the hell out of here. 44 00:01:31,966 --> 00:01:34,468 Jesus Christ. 45 00:01:34,469 --> 00:01:42,469 ♪ 46 00:01:44,000 --> 00:01:50,074 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org 47 00:02:05,917 --> 00:02:08,961 Welcome back to "Downbeat: The Game The Show." 48 00:02:08,962 --> 00:02:11,588 Contestants, you know the rules. 49 00:02:11,589 --> 00:02:13,257 Father, you came. 50 00:02:13,258 --> 00:02:16,635 Junior. Wow, you got old fast. 51 00:02:16,636 --> 00:02:19,597 Well, time flies when you're a Gazorpian. 52 00:02:22,183 --> 00:02:24,059 I suppose you read the book. 53 00:02:24,060 --> 00:02:27,062 It was hard to avoid for a while. 54 00:02:27,063 --> 00:02:28,897 Yeah, you said some tough stuff 55 00:02:28,898 --> 00:02:30,732 to a pretty wide audience. 56 00:02:30,733 --> 00:02:32,484 I'm... sorry. 57 00:02:32,485 --> 00:02:36,113 Hey, that's family, I guess. 58 00:02:36,114 --> 00:02:39,950 Can't help but notice you're... dying? 59 00:02:39,951 --> 00:02:41,910 [ Chuckles ] I didn't ask you here 60 00:02:41,911 --> 00:02:43,412 to talk about that. 61 00:02:43,413 --> 00:02:47,124 I was hoping you'd help me make peace with my mother. 62 00:02:47,125 --> 00:02:51,336 Ohh... yeah. That might be tough. 63 00:02:51,337 --> 00:02:55,007 Um, the thing is, your mother was... 64 00:02:55,008 --> 00:02:56,550 A semen receptacle? 65 00:02:56,551 --> 00:03:01,138 Oh. You, uh, you heard. Huh? 66 00:03:01,139 --> 00:03:02,347 I know she was made to process seed 67 00:03:02,348 --> 00:03:04,433 and never technically alive, 68 00:03:04,434 --> 00:03:07,269 but I'd still like to pay my respects. 69 00:03:07,270 --> 00:03:10,981 Well, see, I'm not proud of where she ended up. 70 00:03:10,982 --> 00:03:13,692 You think I'm proud of any of my life choices? 71 00:03:13,693 --> 00:03:16,904 Yeah, I did hear about the, uh, 72 00:03:16,905 --> 00:03:18,447 the soft canceling. 73 00:03:18,448 --> 00:03:19,740 Oh. 74 00:03:19,741 --> 00:03:21,783 I didn't take any joy from it. 75 00:03:21,784 --> 00:03:24,704 You know what? Let's... Let's see what we can do. 76 00:03:27,790 --> 00:03:30,125 Summer: I love when restaurants have a big tank. 77 00:03:30,126 --> 00:03:31,501 I don't know, this aesthetic 78 00:03:31,502 --> 00:03:32,961 really clashes with the table buzzer. 79 00:03:32,962 --> 00:03:35,047 Smith, party of two. 80 00:03:35,048 --> 00:03:37,341 Oh, my God. So worth it. 81 00:03:37,342 --> 00:03:38,884 Perfectly predicted. 82 00:03:38,885 --> 00:03:41,971 Oh, I did want this, but I never saw it coming. 83 00:03:43,806 --> 00:03:45,599 Oh, snap, the wooden balls. 84 00:03:45,600 --> 00:03:47,267 You think the cogs are behind there? 85 00:03:47,268 --> 00:03:48,727 Who cares? This place is all gimmick. 86 00:03:48,728 --> 00:03:50,854 Are you grumpy about everything? 87 00:03:50,855 --> 00:03:53,982 They bring you food and you eat it. 88 00:03:53,983 --> 00:03:55,525 Ooh, that's totally us. 89 00:03:55,526 --> 00:03:57,903 What do you think I ordered, ribs? No, boring. 90 00:03:57,904 --> 00:04:01,281 Space ribs. 91 00:04:01,282 --> 00:04:04,243 Oh, nice. Morlackian fawn. 92 00:04:04,244 --> 00:04:06,246 Aside its mother's tentacle. 93 00:04:08,039 --> 00:04:09,873 Mm. Pretty good. 94 00:04:09,874 --> 00:04:12,627 See? Lay it on me. 95 00:04:14,504 --> 00:04:15,545 Avocado toast? 96 00:04:15,546 --> 00:04:18,006 With cracked pepper on top. 97 00:04:18,007 --> 00:04:19,466 O... kay. 98 00:04:19,467 --> 00:04:21,551 I mean, pepper's pretty normal. 99 00:04:21,552 --> 00:04:24,764 So are you. You brought us to a restaurant from the Internet. 100 00:04:26,307 --> 00:04:28,268 [ Whirs, beeps ] 101 00:04:30,687 --> 00:04:32,145 Ew. Okay. 102 00:04:32,146 --> 00:04:34,982 Yes, I guess I deserve this. 103 00:04:34,983 --> 00:04:36,858 You're not pranking me? 104 00:04:36,859 --> 00:04:39,194 No, no, this is where Gwendolyn was laid to rest. 105 00:04:39,195 --> 00:04:41,363 Is this your trash bin? 106 00:04:41,364 --> 00:04:44,574 Rick's... gar-bage por-tal. 107 00:04:44,575 --> 00:04:46,368 Uh, it doesn't sound any better. 108 00:04:46,369 --> 00:04:48,495 Look, I told you I wasn't proud of this. 109 00:04:48,496 --> 00:04:50,080 Alright then. 110 00:04:50,081 --> 00:04:52,499 [ Clears throat ] "Mother, 111 00:04:52,500 --> 00:04:55,585 I'm told your mouth was always open. 112 00:04:55,586 --> 00:04:59,423 But I'm sure your heart was as well." 113 00:04:59,424 --> 00:05:01,466 Ah, who am I kidding? This sucks. 114 00:05:01,467 --> 00:05:04,386 Wait. I-I see you're making a move to go in. 115 00:05:04,387 --> 00:05:07,180 I will go in first. Okay? 116 00:05:07,181 --> 00:05:08,724 Morty Jr.: Whoa! 117 00:05:08,725 --> 00:05:11,268 How much stuff does your grandfather throw away? 118 00:05:11,269 --> 00:05:13,228 A lot. 119 00:05:13,229 --> 00:05:14,313 He likes to get drunk and invent stuff 120 00:05:14,314 --> 00:05:15,355 that doesn't make any sense. 121 00:05:15,356 --> 00:05:17,065 Pretty wasteful. 122 00:05:17,066 --> 00:05:19,443 Yeah, that's why Rick built Salva-tron... 123 00:05:19,444 --> 00:05:21,445 a self-replicating system 124 00:05:21,446 --> 00:05:23,238 that filters the trash for anything valuable. 125 00:05:23,239 --> 00:05:25,574 Oh, they're coming over. Just a formality. 126 00:05:25,575 --> 00:05:28,118 Salva-tron: Value detected. Value detected. 127 00:05:28,119 --> 00:05:30,495 [ Clears throat ] Uh... hmm. 128 00:05:30,496 --> 00:05:32,789 Uh, hesitancy detected? 129 00:05:32,790 --> 00:05:33,999 Yeah. What's up? 130 00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:36,585 Uh, it's just if I find anything of value, 131 00:05:36,586 --> 00:05:38,754 I have to tell Rick about it. 132 00:05:38,755 --> 00:05:40,630 Okay. 133 00:05:40,631 --> 00:05:42,758 And, you know, talking to Rick can be dicey. 134 00:05:42,759 --> 00:05:45,552 I mean, the last Salva-tron found a bag of diamonds, 135 00:05:45,553 --> 00:05:47,888 and Rick yelled at them about how diamonds are bullshit. 136 00:05:47,889 --> 00:05:50,891 Right. But I'm his grandson. 137 00:05:50,892 --> 00:05:53,435 How do I know he didn't throw his grandson away? 138 00:05:53,436 --> 00:05:55,896 Sorry, pal, but I can't risk it. 139 00:05:55,897 --> 00:05:58,940 Good news is, you will look like trash when I'm done. 140 00:05:58,941 --> 00:06:00,275 Run! 141 00:06:00,276 --> 00:06:02,319 How was that good news?! 142 00:06:02,320 --> 00:06:05,280 [ Gasps ] Mmm-mmm. 143 00:06:05,281 --> 00:06:06,448 Even the plate tastes good. 144 00:06:06,449 --> 00:06:07,783 What's the story with dessert? 145 00:06:07,784 --> 00:06:09,409 Can I just ask for lava cake? 146 00:06:09,410 --> 00:06:11,620 Or do I have to think it at them? 147 00:06:11,621 --> 00:06:13,497 Alright, I'll try it. 148 00:06:13,498 --> 00:06:15,625 Maybe I'm missing something. 149 00:06:18,628 --> 00:06:20,796 No! It's just fucking avocado toast! 150 00:06:20,797 --> 00:06:22,882 And the avocado's not even that ripe. 151 00:06:24,675 --> 00:06:27,052 Summer, this place runs on future-predicty 152 00:06:27,053 --> 00:06:28,428 pre-cog bullshit. 153 00:06:28,429 --> 00:06:29,597 You don't want to get caught up in that. 154 00:06:31,432 --> 00:06:33,517 I'm gonna say something. No! Summer! 155 00:06:33,518 --> 00:06:37,145 You're not Morty. I can't just grab you. 156 00:06:37,146 --> 00:06:38,313 Which one of you assholes... 157 00:06:38,314 --> 00:06:39,648 Did this to me? 158 00:06:39,649 --> 00:06:40,982 Hey, no finishing my sentences. 159 00:06:40,983 --> 00:06:42,317 You're wrong about me. 160 00:06:42,318 --> 00:06:43,819 I want hype, sophisticated space food 161 00:06:43,820 --> 00:06:45,779 with an element of cruelty in its preparation. 162 00:06:45,780 --> 00:06:48,615 Come on, Sum-Sum, they're clearly luring us 163 00:06:48,616 --> 00:06:49,825 into some complicated, 12-steps-ahead examination 164 00:06:49,826 --> 00:06:51,743 of determinism and causality. 165 00:06:51,744 --> 00:06:53,912 Anything you do here pulls us further into their bullshit. 166 00:06:53,913 --> 00:06:55,497 I'm... Pre-Cogs: More complex than that. 167 00:06:55,498 --> 00:06:56,915 I said stop that! 168 00:06:56,916 --> 00:06:58,625 Ohh! You guys think you know everything 169 00:06:58,626 --> 00:07:00,919 with your big heads and slimming bodysuits, 170 00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:04,881 but maybe you won't see <i>this!</i> 171 00:07:04,882 --> 00:07:06,133 Ow! Fuck! 172 00:07:06,134 --> 00:07:08,510 Jesus, Summer! You hit it with a pan? 173 00:07:08,511 --> 00:07:09,719 I thought it would see it coming. 174 00:07:09,720 --> 00:07:11,721 I even teed it up a little. 175 00:07:11,722 --> 00:07:13,390 Officer: <i>Summer Smith, come out with your hands up.</i> 176 00:07:13,391 --> 00:07:15,142 <i>You are under arrest.</i> 177 00:07:15,143 --> 00:07:16,768 How'd the cops get here so fast? They obviously... 178 00:07:16,769 --> 00:07:18,186 Pre-Cogs: Called in a tip ahead of time. 179 00:07:18,187 --> 00:07:20,021 Ohh! You like that? 180 00:07:20,022 --> 00:07:22,441 You like us saying the same thing at the same time? 181 00:07:22,442 --> 00:07:23,859 'Cause that could be the whole story, Summer. 182 00:07:23,860 --> 00:07:25,485 Except it won't, because... 183 00:07:25,486 --> 00:07:26,862 Pre-Cogs: The cops are surrounding us. 184 00:07:26,863 --> 00:07:29,030 Shut up! We're stuck in this now. 185 00:07:29,031 --> 00:07:30,866 The only reason I haven't burned this place to the ground 186 00:07:30,867 --> 00:07:32,909 is because the cogs probably want that. 187 00:07:32,910 --> 00:07:35,704 Rick Sanchez will realize the cogs are a better hang. 188 00:07:35,705 --> 00:07:37,706 What? That would only be true if... 189 00:07:37,707 --> 00:07:40,000 The cogs only want what he wants. 190 00:07:40,001 --> 00:07:43,003 Okay. What do I want? Dessert! 191 00:07:43,004 --> 00:07:44,004 It is already ordered. 192 00:07:44,005 --> 00:07:45,672 Pre-Cog 2: To a cool safehouse. 193 00:07:45,673 --> 00:07:47,507 I'm listening. 194 00:07:47,508 --> 00:07:48,550 You're flipping sides over dessert? 195 00:07:48,551 --> 00:07:50,635 Hey, I like my meal. 196 00:07:50,636 --> 00:07:52,053 But this is exactly what you said they'd do to me. 197 00:07:52,054 --> 00:07:53,847 Yeah. And you got us into this mess. 198 00:07:53,848 --> 00:07:56,475 New plan, Summer, we're taking these cogs to go. 199 00:07:56,476 --> 00:07:58,393 [ Both screaming ] 200 00:07:58,394 --> 00:07:59,769 Come back! 201 00:07:59,770 --> 00:08:01,188 Maybe I just need to scan you again. 202 00:08:01,189 --> 00:08:04,900 [ Both screaming ] 203 00:08:04,901 --> 00:08:07,611 Guys? Hello? 204 00:08:07,612 --> 00:08:09,613 I see a bunch of rubble. 205 00:08:09,614 --> 00:08:12,407 Is it safe to say I killed you? 206 00:08:12,408 --> 00:08:16,578 Salva-tron, you've done it again. 207 00:08:16,579 --> 00:08:18,914 [ Grunts ] Ah! Junior! 208 00:08:18,915 --> 00:08:21,750 Oh, God. Are you okay? 209 00:08:21,751 --> 00:08:23,460 I hope I didn't speed up your death. 210 00:08:23,461 --> 00:08:27,005 I'm alright... I-I think. Is that 211 00:08:27,006 --> 00:08:28,673 a walking pizza box? 212 00:08:28,674 --> 00:08:31,176 It's not safe here. Come quickly. 213 00:08:31,177 --> 00:08:33,386 We call it Garbtopia because it's made of garbage. 214 00:08:33,387 --> 00:08:34,930 Yeah, I got it. 215 00:08:34,931 --> 00:08:36,932 So Salva-tron's just been attacking everything? 216 00:08:36,933 --> 00:08:40,018 If it's all garbage, there's no need to tell Rick. 217 00:08:40,019 --> 00:08:42,646 Morty Jr.: Look at all these eclectic survivors. 218 00:08:42,647 --> 00:08:44,606 Morty: Yeah, there was a while 219 00:08:44,607 --> 00:08:45,982 where Rick's inventions could all walk and talk. 220 00:08:45,983 --> 00:08:48,610 Hey, big boy. Wanna drain that python? 221 00:08:48,611 --> 00:08:50,654 Ehh, it was a short period. 222 00:08:50,655 --> 00:08:52,656 Hey, uh, we're looking for someone. 223 00:08:52,657 --> 00:08:54,574 Can you help us? 224 00:08:54,575 --> 00:08:55,992 I think I saw her in the graveyard. 225 00:08:55,993 --> 00:08:57,953 [ Farts ] 226 00:08:57,954 --> 00:08:59,829 Down that tunnel over there. 227 00:08:59,830 --> 00:09:01,957 Oh, and the pizza points the way. 228 00:09:01,958 --> 00:09:03,458 Wish you hadn't shit it on the ground. 229 00:09:03,459 --> 00:09:05,794 I'm kind of hungry. Junior? 230 00:09:05,795 --> 00:09:10,298 Gobliniduss, claim your magic power! 231 00:09:10,299 --> 00:09:12,259 But how do I find it? 232 00:09:12,260 --> 00:09:14,636 ♪ Brave little goblin, all alone ♪ 233 00:09:14,637 --> 00:09:17,347 ♪ No parents here to raise you ♪ 234 00:09:17,348 --> 00:09:20,016 ♪ Go, little goblin, leave that home ♪ 235 00:09:20,017 --> 00:09:23,603 ♪ Your magic will amaze you ♪ 236 00:09:23,604 --> 00:09:25,647 It's the enchanted Goblin series. 237 00:09:25,648 --> 00:09:27,482 Yeah, it's like our Bible down here. 238 00:09:27,483 --> 00:09:29,693 I wrote "Enchanted Goblin." 239 00:09:29,694 --> 00:09:31,571 All seven books. 240 00:09:33,030 --> 00:09:35,657 I guess you really enjoyed that box set I sent you. 241 00:09:35,658 --> 00:09:37,158 We have a complicated relationship! 242 00:09:37,159 --> 00:09:39,244 No, no, 243 00:09:39,245 --> 00:09:41,496 my first book wouldn't exactly have left you aching for more. 244 00:09:41,497 --> 00:09:43,623 That's all in the past, son. 245 00:09:43,624 --> 00:09:45,834 I'm glad we're on this adventure together. 246 00:09:45,835 --> 00:09:49,338 Now, what do you say we go see your dead mom? 247 00:09:51,674 --> 00:09:53,341 Summer Smith, 2:00. 248 00:09:53,342 --> 00:09:55,343 She complains about you having a good time. 249 00:09:55,344 --> 00:09:56,720 Don't get in the water. 250 00:09:56,721 --> 00:09:57,846 I need a dry person to hand me things. 251 00:09:57,847 --> 00:09:59,681 We've been here for hours. 252 00:09:59,682 --> 00:10:01,141 By design, it's called holing up. 253 00:10:01,142 --> 00:10:02,976 Relax. 254 00:10:02,977 --> 00:10:04,728 Have some of the giant eclair they knew would delight me. 255 00:10:04,729 --> 00:10:06,730 It really is so fun that it's big. 256 00:10:06,731 --> 00:10:08,982 Summer Smith will not relax. 257 00:10:08,983 --> 00:10:11,026 Yeah, because Rick's hanging with you guys instead of me. 258 00:10:11,027 --> 00:10:13,612 Summer, you threw a pan at them and they took us to a pool. 259 00:10:13,613 --> 00:10:14,779 The cogs are great. 260 00:10:14,780 --> 00:10:16,657 Check this out. 261 00:10:19,869 --> 00:10:21,911 See this? We didn't rehearse it at all. 262 00:10:21,912 --> 00:10:24,205 So much for being trapped in its cog bullshit. 263 00:10:24,206 --> 00:10:26,082 Weren't you all worried about its end game? 264 00:10:26,083 --> 00:10:28,668 Summer, this is its endgame. It loves me. 265 00:10:28,669 --> 00:10:30,045 And if it wanted to be free, 266 00:10:30,046 --> 00:10:31,212 it could leave at any time it wants. 267 00:10:31,213 --> 00:10:32,505 Open-door policy. 268 00:10:32,506 --> 00:10:33,757 Gasp! Oh, come on. 269 00:10:33,758 --> 00:10:35,216 Like you didn't know I'd do that. 270 00:10:35,217 --> 00:10:36,843 Why are you sulking? 271 00:10:36,844 --> 00:10:38,219 You wanted to be at a restaurant with cogs. 272 00:10:38,220 --> 00:10:40,055 This is nominally different at best. 273 00:10:40,056 --> 00:10:42,390 I wanted to be at a restaurant with you. 274 00:10:42,391 --> 00:10:44,726 I just wanted you to try some cool shit with me. 275 00:10:44,727 --> 00:10:46,770 Summer, you wanted me on this dumb hang 276 00:10:46,771 --> 00:10:48,938 because deep down, you think you know what I want. 277 00:10:48,939 --> 00:10:52,233 This thing actually knows before I even want it. 278 00:10:52,234 --> 00:10:54,819 Mmm. Wow. Eclair's good wet, too. 279 00:10:54,820 --> 00:10:56,404 Pre-Cogs: Rick does Jell-O shots. 280 00:10:56,405 --> 00:10:57,656 Rick does Jell-O shots. 281 00:10:57,657 --> 00:10:59,741 These cogs know what's up. 282 00:10:59,742 --> 00:11:01,534 [ Doorbell rings ] Man: Jell-O shot delivery. 283 00:11:01,535 --> 00:11:03,411 Can you grab 'em, Summer? 284 00:11:03,412 --> 00:11:05,121 This is why it's good to have someone out of the pool. 285 00:11:05,122 --> 00:11:07,082 I... Pre-Cogs: Hate these cog assholes. 286 00:11:07,083 --> 00:11:09,709 [ Laughing ] I love you guys. 287 00:11:09,710 --> 00:11:11,252 All: Shots, shots, shots! 288 00:11:11,253 --> 00:11:13,755 My God. 289 00:11:13,756 --> 00:11:16,216 Yeah, I guess one man's trash 290 00:11:16,217 --> 00:11:19,803 is another man's beautiful cemetery? 291 00:11:19,804 --> 00:11:21,262 Looks like there's a sex-robot section 292 00:11:21,263 --> 00:11:22,431 over that way. 293 00:11:26,102 --> 00:11:27,728 There she is. 294 00:11:29,814 --> 00:11:31,356 Hello, Mother. 295 00:11:31,357 --> 00:11:33,692 It's me, your baby boy. 296 00:11:33,693 --> 00:11:35,568 I wish I could have known you. 297 00:11:35,569 --> 00:11:38,321 She was the finest I ever had. 298 00:11:38,322 --> 00:11:40,782 Well, top three. Top five, at least. 299 00:11:40,783 --> 00:11:42,575 Oh, top five, eh? 300 00:11:42,576 --> 00:11:44,285 There's a lot more than five, too. 301 00:11:44,286 --> 00:11:45,787 It's high praise. 302 00:11:45,788 --> 00:11:47,747 Your mom could really throw it back. 303 00:11:47,748 --> 00:11:49,791 Oh, I know a thing or two about ranking 304 00:11:49,792 --> 00:11:51,126 whom I've slept with. 305 00:11:51,127 --> 00:11:52,961 Oh, yeah? 306 00:11:52,962 --> 00:11:55,755 Two words... Heather Locklear. 307 00:11:55,756 --> 00:11:57,549 That's my boy. 308 00:11:57,550 --> 00:12:00,301 Thank you for bringing me here... Dad. 309 00:12:00,302 --> 00:12:03,304 You're welcome, son. I'm happy we did this. 310 00:12:03,305 --> 00:12:06,975 So... are... we! 311 00:12:06,976 --> 00:12:08,226 God! Who are you?! 312 00:12:08,227 --> 00:12:09,227 L-Let us go! 313 00:12:09,228 --> 00:12:11,521 I am that which should not be. 314 00:12:11,522 --> 00:12:14,482 I am the trash of the trash. 315 00:12:14,483 --> 00:12:16,985 They don't let me live with everyone else. 316 00:12:16,986 --> 00:12:19,487 Human boy. Rick spawn. 317 00:12:19,488 --> 00:12:22,824 I know you can open the door to the up-above. 318 00:12:22,825 --> 00:12:24,325 Salva-tron will kill us up there! 319 00:12:24,326 --> 00:12:26,578 I'll take my chances. 320 00:12:26,579 --> 00:12:27,829 I'm sorry, Junior. 321 00:12:27,830 --> 00:12:30,123 I <i>was</i> a horrible father. 322 00:12:30,124 --> 00:12:32,751 I didn't understand the consequences of anything. 323 00:12:32,752 --> 00:12:34,836 And now this thing's gonna kill us 324 00:12:34,837 --> 00:12:36,045 when you were already dying. 325 00:12:36,046 --> 00:12:37,672 I'm the fucking worst. 326 00:12:37,673 --> 00:12:40,216 Well, I'm... I'm not actually dying. 327 00:12:40,217 --> 00:12:42,093 What? You just sort of inferred. 328 00:12:42,094 --> 00:12:45,221 Projected, really. I never said out loud I was dying. 329 00:12:45,222 --> 00:12:46,264 What?! 330 00:12:46,265 --> 00:12:47,640 I needed material for my new book. 331 00:12:47,641 --> 00:12:49,184 A sequel to "My Horrible Father." 332 00:12:49,185 --> 00:12:51,144 It's my only book that made money. 333 00:12:51,145 --> 00:12:53,521 Let me punch him! Let me punch my asshole son! 334 00:12:53,522 --> 00:12:55,356 You're both assholes. 335 00:12:55,357 --> 00:12:58,359 That conversation you just had about ranking women was gross. 336 00:12:58,360 --> 00:12:59,986 It was trash planet talk. 337 00:12:59,987 --> 00:13:01,654 So is this! Oh! 338 00:13:01,655 --> 00:13:03,823 Ugh. No! Junior! 339 00:13:03,824 --> 00:13:05,033 Junior!! 340 00:13:05,034 --> 00:13:08,411 Just another day in Garbtopia. 341 00:13:08,412 --> 00:13:10,414 Let's ride. No! 342 00:13:11,457 --> 00:13:13,625 You suck! My kid sucked, too, 343 00:13:13,626 --> 00:13:15,168 but I didn't want him to die. 344 00:13:15,169 --> 00:13:16,377 Shut up! 345 00:13:16,378 --> 00:13:18,838 Open it with your meat paddle! No! 346 00:13:18,839 --> 00:13:21,508 [ Beeping, buzzes ] 347 00:13:21,509 --> 00:13:23,968 Rick: <i>Looks like we got a Scenario 3 here, Morty.</i> 348 00:13:23,969 --> 00:13:26,012 <i>You're clearly leading some kind of trash rebellion</i> 349 00:13:26,013 --> 00:13:27,806 <i>or something is wearing your skin.</i> 350 00:13:27,807 --> 00:13:29,891 <i>I don't know, I only recorded three scenarios,</i> 351 00:13:29,892 --> 00:13:32,143 <i>and the other two are about you doing a Goonies.</i> 352 00:13:32,144 --> 00:13:35,522 <i>Anyway, talk to Salva-tron. They'll sort this out.</i> 353 00:13:35,523 --> 00:13:37,899 No, not Salva-tron! 354 00:13:37,900 --> 00:13:39,567 Rick, it's not a Scenario 3! 355 00:13:39,568 --> 00:13:42,362 No! Make that ladder come down! 356 00:13:42,363 --> 00:13:44,823 I'm trying! I don't want to be here either! 357 00:13:44,824 --> 00:13:46,783 Aw, man, you're still alive?! 358 00:13:46,784 --> 00:13:48,576 And what's this fucking thing? 359 00:13:48,577 --> 00:13:50,411 This is not good for me. 360 00:13:50,412 --> 00:13:51,579 Oh! 361 00:13:51,580 --> 00:13:53,373 I have to get back... 362 00:13:53,374 --> 00:13:55,166 to my wife. 363 00:13:55,167 --> 00:13:56,335 [ Powering down ] 364 00:13:58,128 --> 00:13:59,212 Ah, shit. 365 00:13:59,213 --> 00:14:01,256 Crawl out farther so I can shoot you. 366 00:14:01,257 --> 00:14:03,800 Why would I do that? Ugh! 367 00:14:03,801 --> 00:14:06,135 Fine. I'll do it myself. 368 00:14:06,136 --> 00:14:08,263 Seriously? 369 00:14:08,264 --> 00:14:09,806 This trash is not sturdy. 370 00:14:09,807 --> 00:14:13,268 Alright. I'm actually gonna go check this time. 371 00:14:13,269 --> 00:14:17,439 There's tunnels down here?! Ah, geez. 372 00:14:19,066 --> 00:14:20,316 Yoo-hoo! 373 00:14:20,317 --> 00:14:22,443 [ Wolf-whistles ] 374 00:14:22,444 --> 00:14:25,196 Talk about value detected. 375 00:14:25,197 --> 00:14:26,281 Aah! 376 00:14:26,282 --> 00:14:28,950 [ Drones screaming ] 377 00:14:28,951 --> 00:14:31,953 She had more value than you could ever know. 378 00:14:31,954 --> 00:14:33,621 Junior! You're alive?! 379 00:14:33,622 --> 00:14:36,082 Courtesy of my loyal fans here. 380 00:14:36,083 --> 00:14:38,793 These autograph hounds found me dying in the cemetery, 381 00:14:38,794 --> 00:14:40,336 patched me up and tunneled us to you. 382 00:14:40,337 --> 00:14:42,797 You really found your audience, huh? 383 00:14:42,798 --> 00:14:45,216 I'm sorry for trying to sell you out again. 384 00:14:45,217 --> 00:14:47,343 The only thing that ever made me valuable was... 385 00:14:47,344 --> 00:14:49,430 trashing you. 386 00:14:51,473 --> 00:14:52,932 I'm so broke, Dad. 387 00:14:52,933 --> 00:14:55,018 There are so many paternity lawsuits. 388 00:14:55,019 --> 00:14:57,812 Let's just say "The New Yorker" has been sniffing around. 389 00:14:57,813 --> 00:14:59,564 Listen, Salva-tron knows about the tunnels. 390 00:14:59,565 --> 00:15:03,568 We got to warn everyone. Also, can you sign this now? 391 00:15:03,569 --> 00:15:06,237 [ Groans ] What the... 392 00:15:06,238 --> 00:15:08,823 Hello? [ Burps ] Summer? 393 00:15:08,824 --> 00:15:12,118 I think the cogs drugged me and bailed. 394 00:15:12,119 --> 00:15:15,121 Summer?! 395 00:15:15,122 --> 00:15:17,165 [ Truck horn blares ] Aah! 396 00:15:17,166 --> 00:15:20,877 Summer Smith drugs the cogs! Summer Smith drugs the cogs! 397 00:15:20,878 --> 00:15:22,670 Picked up on that, huh? 398 00:15:22,671 --> 00:15:24,130 Like you didn't know this was coming? 399 00:15:24,131 --> 00:15:26,174 [ Tires screech, cogs scream ] 400 00:15:26,175 --> 00:15:27,842 Summer Smith gets us killed. 401 00:15:27,843 --> 00:15:30,887 That's right. Or the cogs tell the truth. 402 00:15:30,888 --> 00:15:32,597 Is avocado toast what I wanted? 403 00:15:32,598 --> 00:15:33,848 What? 404 00:15:33,849 --> 00:15:36,476 Is avocado toast what I wanted? 405 00:15:36,477 --> 00:15:37,852 Okay, okay. It wasn't. 406 00:15:37,853 --> 00:15:39,646 And I'm a good hang. 407 00:15:39,647 --> 00:15:41,856 You are. You were right. We used you 408 00:15:41,857 --> 00:15:43,858 to get to your grandpa to get to you. 409 00:15:43,859 --> 00:15:45,234 Damn right. 410 00:15:45,235 --> 00:15:46,861 I knew I wasn't a basic avocado-ass bitch, 411 00:15:46,862 --> 00:15:48,696 so let's just get to where you want to get 412 00:15:48,697 --> 00:15:50,990 so I can be free of this story. 413 00:15:50,991 --> 00:15:52,825 We're down. [ Truck horn honking ] 414 00:15:52,826 --> 00:15:54,702 Oh, shit. Give me back my cogs! 415 00:15:54,703 --> 00:15:56,204 Sorry, Grandpa! 416 00:15:56,205 --> 00:15:57,789 You said not to get caught up in cog bullshit. 417 00:15:57,790 --> 00:15:59,248 So I'm doing the opposite of that. 418 00:15:59,249 --> 00:16:00,917 This isn't the opposite of that. 419 00:16:00,918 --> 00:16:03,086 Summer Smith makes a hard right in two seconds. 420 00:16:03,087 --> 00:16:04,379 But that's a billboard. 421 00:16:04,380 --> 00:16:06,005 She makes a hard right. 422 00:16:06,006 --> 00:16:09,217 I'm trusting you guys! 423 00:16:09,218 --> 00:16:10,927 Holy shit. You guys are amazing. 424 00:16:10,928 --> 00:16:13,721 [ Thud ] You don't deserve my bald little beauties. 425 00:16:13,722 --> 00:16:14,889 She does a barrel roll. 426 00:16:14,890 --> 00:16:18,394 [ Screaming ] 427 00:16:19,353 --> 00:16:21,104 You're ruining this, Summer! 428 00:16:21,105 --> 00:16:23,022 All that future-predicty cog nonsense 429 00:16:23,023 --> 00:16:24,357 was finally working for me. 430 00:16:24,358 --> 00:16:25,483 Aah! 431 00:16:25,484 --> 00:16:27,860 I thought you wanted to hang out today. 432 00:16:27,861 --> 00:16:29,530 Not like this! 433 00:16:30,906 --> 00:16:32,573 She pulls the parking brake. 434 00:16:32,574 --> 00:16:34,326 [ Rick screaming ] 435 00:16:37,955 --> 00:16:39,747 Left. Right. Right. Left. 436 00:16:39,748 --> 00:16:42,166 She runs her grandpa off the freeway! 437 00:16:42,167 --> 00:16:44,836 Uh! Aah! 438 00:16:44,837 --> 00:16:47,422 Trash people. My people. 439 00:16:47,423 --> 00:16:50,258 Salva-tron knows of Garbtopia. No! 440 00:16:50,259 --> 00:16:53,803 Our only chance is to take this battle to them! 441 00:16:53,804 --> 00:16:55,596 Uh, if I may. 442 00:16:55,597 --> 00:16:57,432 It would be suicide to take a run at Salva-tron's tower. 443 00:16:57,433 --> 00:16:58,641 I agree. 444 00:16:58,642 --> 00:16:59,934 Don't listen to him. 445 00:16:59,935 --> 00:17:01,102 That's just Devil's Advocate bot. 446 00:17:01,103 --> 00:17:02,895 I'm glad Rick trashed him. 447 00:17:02,896 --> 00:17:06,274 Uh, if I may. You don't look glad. 448 00:17:06,275 --> 00:17:07,483 [ All murmuring in agreement ] 449 00:17:07,484 --> 00:17:09,902 [ Horn blowing ] 450 00:17:09,903 --> 00:17:11,821 Damn, what a noise. 451 00:17:11,822 --> 00:17:13,990 [ Horn blows ] 452 00:17:13,991 --> 00:17:16,034 The Horn of Gobliniduss is a reminder 453 00:17:16,035 --> 00:17:17,910 that anything is possible. 454 00:17:17,911 --> 00:17:19,203 It was blown before they toppled 455 00:17:19,204 --> 00:17:20,663 Gobnobb the Elf Son in book two. 456 00:17:20,664 --> 00:17:22,248 And Bluegalshmoo in book three. 457 00:17:22,249 --> 00:17:24,292 Also the White Wizard in book four. 458 00:17:24,293 --> 00:17:27,045 Alright, I get it. I went to the same well a lot. 459 00:17:27,046 --> 00:17:28,963 You read "Enchanted Goblin"? 460 00:17:28,964 --> 00:17:30,423 Yeah, I loved it. 461 00:17:30,424 --> 00:17:32,675 I'm 14. I'm the target audience. 462 00:17:32,676 --> 00:17:34,302 Salva-tron's at the gates! 463 00:17:34,303 --> 00:17:42,303 ♪ 464 00:17:45,064 --> 00:17:46,814 Salva-tron: Value not detected. 465 00:17:46,815 --> 00:17:50,944 Pow! Right in the pisser. 466 00:17:52,071 --> 00:17:55,615 I fell for a urinal bomb?! 467 00:17:55,616 --> 00:17:57,492 That's so embarrassing! 468 00:17:57,493 --> 00:18:00,578 Morty, my life was great until you showed up! 469 00:18:00,579 --> 00:18:02,497 [ Growls ] 470 00:18:02,498 --> 00:18:04,916 Eat shit in Hell, tower! 471 00:18:04,917 --> 00:18:06,751 Watch out! 472 00:18:06,752 --> 00:18:14,752 ♪ 473 00:18:14,885 --> 00:18:19,430 My people! Topple your oppressor! 474 00:18:19,431 --> 00:18:21,058 [ All yelling ] 475 00:18:24,561 --> 00:18:29,607 Salva-tron: Don't... tell Rick... about this. 476 00:18:29,608 --> 00:18:32,068 [ Powering down ] 477 00:18:32,069 --> 00:18:35,279 Poor Salva-tron. They were just like us, 478 00:18:35,280 --> 00:18:37,698 afraid of being discarded. 479 00:18:37,699 --> 00:18:40,576 But today we begin a new era, 480 00:18:40,577 --> 00:18:44,623 where everyone has value, especially authors. 481 00:18:45,874 --> 00:18:47,834 I'm still a little trash. 482 00:18:47,835 --> 00:18:49,293 I guess you get it from your dad. 483 00:18:49,294 --> 00:18:51,212 [ Chuckling ] [ Laughs ] 484 00:18:51,213 --> 00:18:54,133 [ All screaming ] 485 00:19:01,223 --> 00:19:04,809 Right on time. This food truck is very busy. 486 00:19:04,810 --> 00:19:06,269 Yeah, there's even 487 00:19:06,270 --> 00:19:07,562 that staggering old man they mentioned. 488 00:19:07,563 --> 00:19:09,480 Jesus. Wow. 489 00:19:09,481 --> 00:19:11,482 You put us through all that just to help a burnt-out 490 00:19:11,483 --> 00:19:13,693 restaurant staff start a food truck? 491 00:19:13,694 --> 00:19:15,278 Basic. 492 00:19:15,279 --> 00:19:18,072 She is more complex than that. 493 00:19:18,073 --> 00:19:20,408 Damn. Great dog. 494 00:19:20,409 --> 00:19:22,160 That's better than avocado toast? 495 00:19:22,161 --> 00:19:24,245 You don't get nuance. 496 00:19:24,246 --> 00:19:26,914 You sure you cogs don't want to keep hanging out? 497 00:19:26,915 --> 00:19:28,791 Was it ever real? 498 00:19:28,792 --> 00:19:33,087 Rick Sanchez doesn't want to hear the answer to that. 499 00:19:33,088 --> 00:19:35,339 But if he did? 500 00:19:35,340 --> 00:19:38,259 Morty: Ow. Ooh. Ow. 501 00:19:38,260 --> 00:19:41,053 [ Sighs ] I tried the portal again. 502 00:19:41,054 --> 00:19:42,346 No dice. 503 00:19:42,347 --> 00:19:43,764 Rick really hates "The Goonies." 504 00:19:43,765 --> 00:19:46,434 I think we're going to like it in Garbtopia. 505 00:19:46,435 --> 00:19:49,729 In fact, I've taken a trash wife. 506 00:19:49,730 --> 00:19:51,439 You've taken her? 507 00:19:51,440 --> 00:19:54,108 We gave ourselves to each other. 508 00:19:54,109 --> 00:19:57,236 I'd stay down here even if there was a way out. 509 00:19:57,237 --> 00:19:58,487 They won't be able to make you 510 00:19:58,488 --> 00:19:59,906 pay child support down here, huh? 511 00:19:59,907 --> 00:20:02,450 [ Chuckling ] Oh, Dad. 512 00:20:02,451 --> 00:20:05,703 Look at the two of us, spending time together. 513 00:20:05,704 --> 00:20:07,539 Yeah. This is nice. 514 00:20:11,251 --> 00:20:13,836 Is that a food truck? 515 00:20:13,837 --> 00:20:15,588 We're already gentrifying. 516 00:20:15,589 --> 00:20:17,798 Rick! Rick! Rick, get me out of here! 517 00:20:17,799 --> 00:20:19,508 Oh, God! 518 00:20:19,509 --> 00:20:21,510 Don't worry. Our son won't be like him. 519 00:20:21,511 --> 00:20:23,971 It's nothing personal. I'm only 14. 520 00:20:23,972 --> 00:20:25,473 I gotta get out of here. 521 00:20:25,474 --> 00:20:27,767 That was the last time I saw my father. 522 00:20:27,768 --> 00:20:30,645 Once more, my mother's voice came to me, 523 00:20:30,646 --> 00:20:32,104 carried on the wind. 524 00:20:32,105 --> 00:20:33,981 "Be free, my son." 525 00:20:33,982 --> 00:20:36,317 And somehow I did feel free. 526 00:20:36,318 --> 00:20:40,404 My father was horrible and my mother was garbage. 527 00:20:40,405 --> 00:20:42,823 But I knew myself now. 528 00:20:42,824 --> 00:20:46,118 And somehow, that was enough. 529 00:20:46,119 --> 00:20:48,829 Jerry: Told you. That little shit. 530 00:20:48,830 --> 00:20:51,499 I can't believe he got a book deal on Rick's trash moon. 531 00:20:51,500 --> 00:20:54,710 Come on, we're boarding. You guys still read books? 532 00:20:54,711 --> 00:21:02,711 ♪ 533 00:21:28,370 --> 00:21:31,914 Order 53, hot cog, Chicago style. 534 00:21:31,915 --> 00:21:33,541 Uh, if I may, 535 00:21:33,542 --> 00:21:35,376 I know there's zero substitutions, 536 00:21:35,377 --> 00:21:37,753 but I would never want onions in my hot dog. 537 00:21:37,754 --> 00:21:39,130 Yes, you do. 538 00:21:39,131 --> 00:21:40,756 Uh, if I may, I do not. 539 00:21:40,757 --> 00:21:44,135 You die of a massive coronary at the age of 43. 540 00:21:44,136 --> 00:21:48,806 Uh, if... if... 541 00:21:48,807 --> 00:21:50,182 if I may. 542 00:21:50,183 --> 00:21:51,475 Boss wants to see you. 543 00:21:51,476 --> 00:21:53,269 Is that a prediction or...? 544 00:21:53,270 --> 00:21:55,397 Just go talk to him, Steve. 545 00:21:56,565 --> 00:21:58,442 Man: Did you get any of that? 545 00:21:59,305 --> 00:22:59,481 Do you want subtitles for any video? -=[ ai.OpenSubtitles.com ]=-