"Rick and Morty" Morty Daddy

1 00:00:03,461 --> 00:00:06,880 我得问一下 是不是有人要求吃松饼? 2 00:00:06,881 --> 00:00:09,426 因为我们好像无时无刻不在吃松饼 3 00:00:12,804 --> 00:00:14,722 上面只写了“医院” 4 00:00:14,723 --> 00:00:16,473 好大胆的来电显示 5 00:00:16,474 --> 00:00:17,559 喂? 6 00:00:18,351 --> 00:00:19,811 你好, 小莫蒂 7 00:00:20,311 --> 00:00:21,478 天啊 8 00:00:21,479 --> 00:00:23,982 好...是, 再见 9 00:00:24,649 --> 00:00:25,775 是我儿子 10 00:00:27,360 --> 00:00:30,612 小莫蒂, 就是双手长在头上的那个 11 00:00:30,613 --> 00:00:33,449 他去死吧 12 00:00:33,450 --> 00:00:35,200 - 他超烂 - 各位, 拜托 13 00:00:35,201 --> 00:00:37,619 莫蒂, 他写了一本 登上“纽约时报”畅销书榜的书 14 00:00:37,620 --> 00:00:39,621 在讲你是个多烂的爸爸 15 00:00:39,622 --> 00:00:41,749 让我们也因为养出你而蒙羞 16 00:00:41,750 --> 00:00:44,752 我以同为作家的角度来看 他根本就是个烂货 17 00:00:44,753 --> 00:00:46,920 讨厌自己的小孩也没关系, 莫蒂 18 00:00:46,921 --> 00:00:49,132 但...他是从医院打来的 19 00:00:49,591 --> 00:00:50,924 你们觉得他是不是要死了? 20 00:00:50,925 --> 00:00:52,218 谁在乎? 21 00:00:54,554 --> 00:00:55,764 不是我的手机 22 00:00:56,681 --> 00:01:00,100 - 天啊, 我们的位子好了 - 我的天啊 23 00:01:00,101 --> 00:01:03,437 夏茉逼我预约某间蠢预知餐厅 24 00:01:03,438 --> 00:01:04,897 这在社交媒体上超红的 25 00:01:04,898 --> 00:01:08,150 他们会在你抵达前 就预测好你会想吃什么 26 00:01:08,151 --> 00:01:10,152 我们该去看看 那间餐厅值不值得一去了 27 00:01:10,153 --> 00:01:11,654 反正一定比这垃圾好 28 00:01:12,072 --> 00:01:13,448 赞啦 29 00:01:13,782 --> 00:01:16,533 嘿...莫蒂, 你那个烂儿子的事很遗撼 30 00:01:16,534 --> 00:01:18,745 我建议你让他死在病床上 31 00:01:20,038 --> 00:01:21,790 天啊, 无三不成礼, 对吧? 32 00:01:22,707 --> 00:01:23,917 是我的按摩器 33 00:01:24,292 --> 00:01:26,920 抱歉, 老婆, 是“我们”的按摩器 34 00:01:28,046 --> 00:01:30,715 怎样?要我拔出来给你们看吗? 35 00:01:30,965 --> 00:01:32,091 - 不用了 - 我们快点闪人吧 36 00:01:32,092 --> 00:01:33,551 我的老天爷啊 37 00:01:35,000 --> 00:01:41,074 Watch Online Movies and Series for FREE www.osdb.link/lm 38 00:02:02,288 --> 00:02:06,417 片名:瑞克和莫蒂 39 00:02:06,584 --> 00:02:09,336 “欢迎回到‘下拍游戏节目’” 40 00:02:09,337 --> 00:02:11,755 “各位参赛者, 你们都知道规则” 41 00:02:11,756 --> 00:02:13,590 爸, 你来了 42 00:02:13,591 --> 00:02:17,136 小莫蒂, 天啊, 你老得好快 43 00:02:17,137 --> 00:02:19,889 嘎喳叭喳人的生命周期很短 44 00:02:22,600 --> 00:02:24,185 我猜你应该看过那本书了 45 00:02:24,435 --> 00:02:27,062 有一段时间确实很难避免 46 00:02:27,063 --> 00:02:29,523 是啊, 你写了一些很伤人的话 47 00:02:29,524 --> 00:02:31,024 而且还有很多人看过 48 00:02:31,025 --> 00:02:32,609 对不起 49 00:02:32,610 --> 00:02:36,281 嘿, 我想家人就是这样 50 00:02:36,656 --> 00:02:40,243 我不禁注意到你好像快死了? 51 00:02:40,952 --> 00:02:43,413 我不是请你来谈这件事的 52 00:02:43,621 --> 00:02:47,333 我希望你能帮助我跟妈妈和解 53 00:02:49,043 --> 00:02:51,796 好...但是可能有点难 54 00:02:52,505 --> 00:02:55,174 因为你妈妈是... 55 00:02:55,175 --> 00:02:56,885 精子接收器吗? 56 00:02:57,886 --> 00:03:00,596 原来你听说啦? 57 00:03:00,597 --> 00:03:02,639 我知道她是被做来处理精子的 58 00:03:02,640 --> 00:03:04,766 而且严格来说从来没活过 59 00:03:04,767 --> 00:03:07,477 但我还是想要向她致意 60 00:03:07,478 --> 00:03:11,523 但我对她目前所在的地方 并不感到自豪 61 00:03:11,524 --> 00:03:14,151 你觉得我对自己做过的任何决择 感到自豪吗? 62 00:03:14,152 --> 00:03:19,490 是, 我有听说你被软性抵制的事 63 00:03:20,158 --> 00:03:22,075 我并没有因此感到开心 64 00:03:22,076 --> 00:03:24,871 好吧, 我来试试看 65 00:03:25,205 --> 00:03:26,998 (预知餐厅) 66 00:03:28,249 --> 00:03:30,125 我好喜欢有大鱼缸的餐厅 67 00:03:30,126 --> 00:03:32,878 我不知道, 总觉得 这个设计主题跟叫号器很不搭 68 00:03:32,879 --> 00:03:34,923 史密斯, 两位 69 00:03:35,423 --> 00:03:39,302 天啊, 真是太值得了, 预测得真完美 70 00:03:39,552 --> 00:03:42,430 我确实很想吃这个, 但我完全没料到 71 00:03:44,474 --> 00:03:45,891 天啊, 木球 72 00:03:45,892 --> 00:03:47,434 你觉得知知是不是在那后面? 73 00:03:47,435 --> 00:03:49,186 谁在乎?这间餐厅就只会耍花招 74 00:03:49,187 --> 00:03:51,230 你是看什么都不爽吗? 75 00:03:51,231 --> 00:03:53,733 他们会送东西来, 然后你就吃掉 76 00:03:54,484 --> 00:03:55,943 一定是我们的餐点 77 00:03:55,944 --> 00:03:57,277 你觉得我点了什么?肋排吗? 78 00:03:57,278 --> 00:04:00,156 不对, 太无聊了, 应该是太空肋排 79 00:04:01,699 --> 00:04:04,285 不错, 莫洛克幼鹿 80 00:04:04,452 --> 00:04:06,412 旁边是它妈妈的触手 81 00:04:09,040 --> 00:04:10,082 蛮好吃的 82 00:04:10,083 --> 00:04:11,250 看吧? 83 00:04:11,251 --> 00:04:12,752 快让我看看 84 00:04:14,712 --> 00:04:15,921 牛油果吐司? 85 00:04:15,922 --> 00:04:18,131 上面还洒了研磨胡椒粒 86 00:04:18,132 --> 00:04:21,927 好, 胡椒很普通 87 00:04:21,928 --> 00:04:24,806 你也很普通, 你带我们来 在网络上看到的餐厅 88 00:04:31,771 --> 00:04:34,732 好吧, 确实是我活该 89 00:04:35,233 --> 00:04:37,317 - 你不是在恶整我吗? - 不是... 90 00:04:37,318 --> 00:04:39,403 关德琳就是在这里安息的 91 00:04:39,404 --> 00:04:41,530 这是你的垃圾桶吗? 92 00:04:41,531 --> 00:04:45,158 是瑞克的垃圾传送门 93 00:04:45,159 --> 00:04:46,535 这样讲也没有比较好听 94 00:04:46,536 --> 00:04:48,870 听着, 我跟你说过 我对此并不感到自豪 95 00:04:48,871 --> 00:04:50,039 那好吧 96 00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:55,670 “妈, 我听说你的嘴巴永远敞开” 97 00:04:55,878 --> 00:04:59,090 “但我相信你的心胸也很开阔” 98 00:04:59,549 --> 00:05:01,676 我还是别自欺欺人了, 这烂透了 99 00:05:02,510 --> 00:05:04,720 等等, 看来你想试图进入 100 00:05:04,721 --> 00:05:07,307 先让我进去, 好吗? 101 00:05:07,724 --> 00:05:12,102 天啊, 你外公到底丢了多少东西? 102 00:05:12,103 --> 00:05:14,396 很多, 他喜欢在喝醉后发明一些 103 00:05:14,397 --> 00:05:15,605 根本不合理的东西 104 00:05:15,606 --> 00:05:17,065 真浪费 105 00:05:17,066 --> 00:05:19,735 对, 所以瑞克才会做出回收登 106 00:05:19,736 --> 00:05:20,944 这个会自我复制的系统 107 00:05:20,945 --> 00:05:23,239 会找出垃圾中任何有价值的东西 108 00:05:23,364 --> 00:05:25,783 它们要过来了, 这只是个形式 109 00:05:25,950 --> 00:05:28,618 侦测到价值... 110 00:05:28,619 --> 00:05:31,204 (侦测到价值) 111 00:05:31,205 --> 00:05:34,083 - 我侦测到了犹豫 - 对啊, 怎么回事? 112 00:05:34,542 --> 00:05:36,752 因为我如果找到有价值的东西 113 00:05:36,753 --> 00:05:39,963 - 就得告诉瑞克 - 好 114 00:05:39,964 --> 00:05:43,091 你也知道跟瑞克讲话风险很大 115 00:05:43,092 --> 00:05:45,635 上次有个回收登找到了一袋钻石 116 00:05:45,636 --> 00:05:48,513 结果就被瑞克臭骂了一顿 他说钻石根本是狗屁 117 00:05:48,514 --> 00:05:51,099 好...但我是他外孙 118 00:05:51,100 --> 00:05:53,727 我怎么能确定 他不是刻意把外孙丢掉的? 119 00:05:53,728 --> 00:05:55,979 抱歉, 兄弟, 但我不能冒险 120 00:05:55,980 --> 00:05:58,649 好消息是, 等我动手之后 你们看起来就会像垃圾了 121 00:05:59,275 --> 00:06:00,525 快跑 122 00:06:00,526 --> 00:06:02,445 那怎么会是好消息? 123 00:06:05,031 --> 00:06:06,531 就连盘子都很好吃 124 00:06:06,532 --> 00:06:08,075 那甜点呢? 125 00:06:08,076 --> 00:06:11,537 我可以直接开口点一块溶岩蛋糕 还是我需要对着他们想? 126 00:06:11,996 --> 00:06:15,583 好吧, 我来吃吃看 或许我有漏掉什么 127 00:06:18,669 --> 00:06:21,046 没有, 就只是个该死的牛油果吐司 128 00:06:21,047 --> 00:06:23,007 牛油果甚至还没熟透 129 00:06:24,675 --> 00:06:28,136 夏茉, 这间餐厅牵涉到 预测未来的预知狗屁 130 00:06:28,137 --> 00:06:29,680 你不会想被牵扯进去的 131 00:06:31,766 --> 00:06:32,766 我要去反应 132 00:06:32,767 --> 00:06:33,850 不, 夏茉 133 00:06:33,851 --> 00:06:36,062 你不是莫蒂, 我不能直接把你拎起来 134 00:06:37,313 --> 00:06:38,563 你们当中的哪一个混蛋... 135 00:06:38,564 --> 00:06:41,066 - 对我做了这种事? - 喂, 别接我的话 136 00:06:41,067 --> 00:06:42,234 你们对我的预测错了 137 00:06:42,235 --> 00:06:44,027 我想吃浮夸又高级的太空食物 138 00:06:44,028 --> 00:06:46,029 料理过程还要有一点残酷 139 00:06:46,030 --> 00:06:48,907 走吧, 夏夏 它们显然是想诱惑我们进入复杂的 140 00:06:48,908 --> 00:06:51,785 领先12步决定论和因果关系探讨 141 00:06:51,786 --> 00:06:54,246 你在这里做的任何事 都会让我们更加深入它们的狗屁 142 00:06:54,247 --> 00:06:55,747 - 我... - 比你们想的复杂多了 143 00:06:55,748 --> 00:06:57,166 - 我叫你们停止 - 我叫你们停止 144 00:06:57,667 --> 00:07:01,378 你们以为你们有大头 修身连身装, 又什么都知道 145 00:07:01,379 --> 00:07:04,674 但或许你们不会预知到这个 146 00:07:05,675 --> 00:07:08,385 - 该死 - 天啊, 夏茉, 你拿锅子砸它? 147 00:07:08,386 --> 00:07:09,970 我以为知知会预测到 148 00:07:09,971 --> 00:07:11,430 我甚至还有稍微预告 149 00:07:11,431 --> 00:07:13,557 “夏茉史密斯, 请双手举高走出来” 150 00:07:13,558 --> 00:07:14,724 “我们要逮捕你” 151 00:07:14,725 --> 00:07:16,935 - 警察怎么这么快就来了? - 它们显然是... 152 00:07:16,936 --> 00:07:18,813 - 提早报警了 - 提早报警了 153 00:07:19,230 --> 00:07:20,272 你喜欢这样吗? 154 00:07:20,273 --> 00:07:22,482 你喜欢我们异口同声说话吗? 155 00:07:22,483 --> 00:07:24,025 因为我们可以整个故事都这样, 夏茉 156 00:07:24,026 --> 00:07:25,444 但是不可能, 因为... 157 00:07:25,445 --> 00:07:27,070 - 我们被警察包围 - 我们被警察包围 158 00:07:27,071 --> 00:07:28,155 闭嘴 159 00:07:28,156 --> 00:07:30,866 我们被困住了 我还没把这里整个烧毁的唯一原因 160 00:07:30,867 --> 00:07:32,909 就是这些知知可能想要我那么做 161 00:07:32,910 --> 00:07:35,787 瑞克桑切斯会发现跟知知玩比较好玩 162 00:07:35,788 --> 00:07:37,539 什么?那样就代表... 163 00:07:37,540 --> 00:07:39,792 - 知知会配合他想做的事 - 知知会配合他想做的事 164 00:07:40,168 --> 00:07:42,169 好, 我想做什么? 165 00:07:42,170 --> 00:07:44,087 - 吃甜点, 已经点好了 - 吃甜点, 已经点好了 166 00:07:44,088 --> 00:07:45,798 会送去一间很酷的安全屋 167 00:07:45,923 --> 00:07:48,758 - 继续说 - 你竟然要为了甜点换边站? 168 00:07:48,759 --> 00:07:51,845 - 嘿, 我很喜欢我的餐点 - 但你刚刚明明就说它们会这样对我 169 00:07:51,846 --> 00:07:53,805 没错, 是你把我们扯进来的 170 00:07:53,806 --> 00:07:56,684 计划有变, 夏茉 我们要外带这些知知 171 00:07:58,478 --> 00:08:01,772 回来 或许我只要再重新扫描你们一次就好 172 00:08:05,234 --> 00:08:07,361 两位, 你们在吗? 173 00:08:07,820 --> 00:08:09,529 我看到了一堆垃圾残骸 174 00:08:09,530 --> 00:08:11,991 我是不是应该已经杀死你们了? 175 00:08:13,034 --> 00:08:15,912 回收登, 你又成功了 176 00:08:18,748 --> 00:08:21,416 小莫蒂, 天啊, 你还好吗? 177 00:08:21,417 --> 00:08:23,585 希望我没害你更早死 178 00:08:23,586 --> 00:08:26,255 我还好, 应该吧 179 00:08:26,464 --> 00:08:28,548 那是会走路的披萨盒吗? 180 00:08:28,549 --> 00:08:30,593 这里不安全, 快过来 181 00:08:31,469 --> 00:08:33,428 我们把这里称为垃圾乌托邦 因为是用垃圾做出来的 182 00:08:33,429 --> 00:08:36,806 我有发现 所以回收登遇到什么都会攻击吗? 183 00:08:36,807 --> 00:08:39,936 如果所有东西都是垃圾 那就不用跟瑞克说了 184 00:08:40,228 --> 00:08:42,687 看看这些千奇百怪的幸存者 185 00:08:42,688 --> 00:08:46,024 没错, 瑞克某个时期 发明的东西都会走路和讲话 186 00:08:46,025 --> 00:08:48,610 嘿, 大只佬, 想要好好排解一下吗? 187 00:08:48,611 --> 00:08:50,570 那个时期并不长 188 00:08:50,571 --> 00:08:53,866 嘿, 我们在找人, 你能帮帮忙吗? 189 00:08:54,450 --> 00:08:56,244 我好像在墓园看过她 190 00:08:58,079 --> 00:08:59,496 就在那个隧道下面 191 00:08:59,497 --> 00:09:01,958 披萨还会指引方向 192 00:09:02,083 --> 00:09:04,877 要是你没直接拉在地上就好了 我有点饿 193 00:09:05,169 --> 00:09:06,170 小莫蒂? 194 00:09:06,462 --> 00:09:10,215 哥布林纳德斯, 取得你的魔力吧 195 00:09:10,216 --> 00:09:12,217 - 但我要怎么找到魔力? - 但我要怎么找到魔力? 196 00:09:12,218 --> 00:09:14,678 “勇敢的小哥布林, 独自一人” 197 00:09:14,679 --> 00:09:17,806 “没有爸妈养育你” 198 00:09:17,807 --> 00:09:20,475 “去吧, 小哥布林, 离开那个家” 199 00:09:20,476 --> 00:09:23,645 “你的魔法会让你感到惊奇” 200 00:09:23,646 --> 00:09:25,897 是“魔法哥布林”系列 201 00:09:25,898 --> 00:09:27,774 对, 那在我们这里就像是“圣经” 202 00:09:27,775 --> 00:09:31,486 “魔法哥布林”七集都是我写的 203 00:09:31,487 --> 00:09:33,321 (“魔法哥布林舞台剧”) 204 00:09:33,322 --> 00:09:35,949 看来你看我寄给你的盒装套组 看得很开心 205 00:09:35,950 --> 00:09:38,201 - 我们之间的关系很复杂 - 没关系... 206 00:09:38,202 --> 00:09:41,830 我写的第一本书 确实不会让你期待我的后续作品 207 00:09:41,831 --> 00:09:43,748 但那都是过去的事了, 儿子 208 00:09:43,749 --> 00:09:46,167 我很高兴 我们一起踏上了这个冒险旅程 209 00:09:46,168 --> 00:09:49,297 我们一起去看你死去的妈妈如何? 210 00:09:51,966 --> 00:09:53,508 夏茉史密斯, 两点钟方向 211 00:09:53,509 --> 00:09:55,552 她会抱怨你过得太爽 212 00:09:55,553 --> 00:09:56,636 别下水 213 00:09:56,637 --> 00:09:58,179 我需要一个身体是干的人帮我拿东西 214 00:09:58,180 --> 00:09:59,514 我们已经待在这好几小时了 215 00:09:59,515 --> 00:10:02,309 这是故意的, 我们正在藏匿, 放轻松 216 00:10:02,310 --> 00:10:04,811 吃一下它们知道 我会喜欢的巨大闪电泡芙吧 217 00:10:04,812 --> 00:10:06,980 这么大真的很有意思 218 00:10:06,981 --> 00:10:08,857 夏茉史密斯不会放轻松 219 00:10:08,858 --> 00:10:11,359 对, 因为瑞克都跟你们玩, 不跟我玩 220 00:10:11,360 --> 00:10:13,945 夏茉, 你拿锅子砸它们 它们还带我们来泳池 221 00:10:13,946 --> 00:10:15,113 知知很棒 222 00:10:15,114 --> 00:10:16,490 你看 223 00:10:20,202 --> 00:10:22,203 看到没有?我们完全没练过 224 00:10:22,204 --> 00:10:24,623 你还是被困在知知的狗屁之中 225 00:10:24,624 --> 00:10:26,416 你难道都不担心知知的最终目的吗? 226 00:10:26,417 --> 00:10:29,044 夏茉, 这就是最终目的, 知知爱我 227 00:10:29,045 --> 00:10:31,504 而且知知如果想走, 随时都可以离开 228 00:10:31,505 --> 00:10:33,423 - 开门政策 - 倒抽一口气 229 00:10:33,424 --> 00:10:35,342 少来了 你们难道不知道我会这么做? 230 00:10:35,343 --> 00:10:36,551 你在不爽什么? 231 00:10:36,552 --> 00:10:38,553 当初是你想去有知知的餐厅 232 00:10:38,554 --> 00:10:40,388 跟现在的情况明明就差不多 233 00:10:40,389 --> 00:10:42,724 我是想跟你一起去餐厅吃饭 234 00:10:42,725 --> 00:10:44,851 我只是希望你能跟我一起尝试酷东西 235 00:10:44,852 --> 00:10:46,936 夏茉, 你会想跟我一起做这件蠢事 236 00:10:46,937 --> 00:10:49,272 是因为你内心深处认为 你知道我想要什么 237 00:10:49,273 --> 00:10:52,442 但这东西在我想要之前 就已经知道我想要什么了 238 00:10:52,443 --> 00:10:55,028 天啊, 这闪电泡芙湿掉也好吃 239 00:10:55,029 --> 00:10:57,739 - 瑞克喝果冻酒... - 瑞克喝果冻酒... 240 00:10:57,740 --> 00:10:59,492 这些知知真懂玩 241 00:11:00,117 --> 00:11:01,702 “果冻酒外送” 242 00:11:01,952 --> 00:11:03,161 你能去拿一下吗, 夏茉? 243 00:11:03,162 --> 00:11:05,413 这就是派人负责待在岸上的好处 244 00:11:05,414 --> 00:11:07,583 - 我... - 恨这些知知混蛋 245 00:11:08,709 --> 00:11:09,709 我好爱你们 246 00:11:09,710 --> 00:11:11,462 - 果冻酒... - 果冻酒... 247 00:11:12,296 --> 00:11:13,713 我的天啊 248 00:11:13,714 --> 00:11:19,804 是啊, 看来一个人的垃圾 是另一个人的美丽墓园 249 00:11:20,012 --> 00:11:22,306 看来那里有个性爱机器人区 250 00:11:26,227 --> 00:11:27,395 她就在这里 251 00:11:30,439 --> 00:11:33,693 你好, 妈, 我是你的宝贝儿子 252 00:11:34,276 --> 00:11:35,610 真希望我能认识你 253 00:11:35,611 --> 00:11:38,447 她是我用过最棒的 254 00:11:38,698 --> 00:11:40,990 前三棒的, 至少一定是前五棒 255 00:11:40,991 --> 00:11:42,409 前五棒 256 00:11:42,410 --> 00:11:44,577 而且我用过的可多了 257 00:11:44,578 --> 00:11:46,037 这是很棒的赞美 258 00:11:46,038 --> 00:11:48,040 你妈很会摇 259 00:11:48,499 --> 00:11:51,252 我对帮床伴排名也是略懂 260 00:11:51,377 --> 00:11:52,919 是吗? 261 00:11:52,920 --> 00:11:56,214 五个字, 海瑟拉克理 262 00:11:56,215 --> 00:11:57,674 不愧是我儿子 263 00:11:57,675 --> 00:12:00,386 谢谢你带我来这里, 爸 264 00:12:00,594 --> 00:12:02,011 不客气, 儿子 265 00:12:02,012 --> 00:12:03,388 真高兴我们有这么做 266 00:12:03,389 --> 00:12:06,934 我们也是 267 00:12:07,143 --> 00:12:09,269 天啊, 你是谁?放开我们 268 00:12:09,270 --> 00:12:11,604 我是不该存在的东西 269 00:12:11,605 --> 00:12:14,525 我是垃圾中的垃圾 270 00:12:14,650 --> 00:12:16,819 他们不让我跟其他人一起住 271 00:12:17,153 --> 00:12:19,696 人类男孩, 瑞克的后代 272 00:12:19,697 --> 00:12:22,907 我知道你能打开通往上面的门 273 00:12:22,908 --> 00:12:26,746 - 我们去上面会被回收登杀死 - 我愿意冒这个险 274 00:12:26,871 --> 00:12:28,079 对不起, 小莫蒂 275 00:12:28,080 --> 00:12:29,998 我确实是个烂爸爸 276 00:12:29,999 --> 00:12:32,667 我当时根本不知道会有什么后果 277 00:12:32,668 --> 00:12:36,337 现在这个东西要杀了我们 而且你本来就已经快死了 278 00:12:36,338 --> 00:12:38,214 我真是烂透了 279 00:12:38,215 --> 00:12:40,383 我其实没有快死掉 280 00:12:40,384 --> 00:12:42,260 - 什么? - 那是你自己猜想的 281 00:12:42,261 --> 00:12:45,346 是你自己投射的 我从来没说过我快死了 282 00:12:45,347 --> 00:12:47,724 - 什么? - 我需要收集新书的素材 283 00:12:47,725 --> 00:12:49,476 “我的糟糕老爸”的续集 284 00:12:49,477 --> 00:12:50,935 那是我唯一赚钱的书 285 00:12:50,936 --> 00:12:53,354 让我揍他, 让我揍我的混蛋儿子 286 00:12:53,355 --> 00:12:55,064 你们两个都是混蛋 287 00:12:55,065 --> 00:12:58,359 你们刚刚把女性排名的对话超级恶心 288 00:12:58,360 --> 00:13:00,111 那只是在垃圾星球才会聊的 289 00:13:00,112 --> 00:13:01,322 这也是 290 00:13:02,698 --> 00:13:05,366 不, 小莫蒂... 291 00:13:05,367 --> 00:13:08,286 这就是垃圾乌托邦的日常 292 00:13:08,287 --> 00:13:11,040 - 我们走 - 不! 293 00:13:11,373 --> 00:13:15,210 你烂透了 我儿子也很烂, 但我不希望他死 294 00:13:15,211 --> 00:13:18,463 闭嘴, 快用你的肉奖开门 295 00:13:18,464 --> 00:13:19,548 不 296 00:13:22,092 --> 00:13:24,093 “看来发生了第三种情境, 莫蒂” 297 00:13:24,094 --> 00:13:26,137 “你显然是在带领某种垃圾反抗” 298 00:13:26,138 --> 00:13:28,515 “或是有东西套上了你的皮 我也不确定” 299 00:13:28,516 --> 00:13:29,849 “我只有录制三种情境” 300 00:13:29,850 --> 00:13:31,893 “另外两种情境 是你学‘七宝奇谋’那样” 301 00:13:31,894 --> 00:13:35,064 “总之呢, 去找回收登谈谈 他们会帮忙解决问题的” 302 00:13:36,232 --> 00:13:37,607 不!别找回收登 303 00:13:37,608 --> 00:13:39,609 瑞克, 这不是第三种情境 304 00:13:39,610 --> 00:13:42,320 不!快让梯子放下来 305 00:13:42,321 --> 00:13:44,948 我在努力了, 我也不想在这里 306 00:13:44,949 --> 00:13:46,908 天啊, 你还活着? 307 00:13:46,909 --> 00:13:48,743 这鬼东西又是什么? 308 00:13:48,744 --> 00:13:50,578 这对我来说很不妙 309 00:13:50,579 --> 00:13:56,168 不, 我还得回到我老婆身边 310 00:13:58,295 --> 00:14:01,382 该死, 爬出来一点, 我才射得到你 311 00:14:01,632 --> 00:14:03,050 我为什么照做? 312 00:14:04,134 --> 00:14:05,845 好吧, 我自己来 313 00:14:07,012 --> 00:14:09,973 有没有搞错?这垃圾太不坚固了 314 00:14:09,974 --> 00:14:12,810 好, 我这次会认真检查 315 00:14:14,520 --> 00:14:17,523 这底下竟然有隧道?天啊 316 00:14:18,816 --> 00:14:20,401 你好 317 00:14:22,736 --> 00:14:25,489 我侦测到价值了 318 00:14:29,493 --> 00:14:31,953 她的价值是你永远不会知道的 319 00:14:31,954 --> 00:14:33,580 小莫蒂, 你还活着? 320 00:14:33,581 --> 00:14:35,999 这都要感谢我的忠实粉丝 321 00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:38,710 这些来要签名的书迷 发现我在墓园里奄奄一息 322 00:14:38,711 --> 00:14:40,295 就帮我治疔, 并带我们来找你了 323 00:14:40,296 --> 00:14:42,339 你真的找到了自己的受众, 对吧? 324 00:14:42,756 --> 00:14:45,133 很抱歉我又试图出卖你 325 00:14:45,134 --> 00:14:49,221 我唯一有价值的时候 就是把你贬得一文不值的时候 326 00:14:51,307 --> 00:14:52,724 我现在超穷的, 爸 327 00:14:52,725 --> 00:14:55,018 有很多人对我提起认父诉讼 328 00:14:55,019 --> 00:14:57,562 我只能说 “纽约客”一直到处打听我的事 329 00:14:57,563 --> 00:14:59,647 听着, 回收登知道隧道的事了 330 00:14:59,648 --> 00:15:01,025 我们得警告大家 331 00:15:01,150 --> 00:15:03,652 还有, 你现在方便帮我签个名吗? 332 00:15:05,529 --> 00:15:06,530 搞什... 333 00:15:07,031 --> 00:15:11,327 有人在吗? 夏茉, 知知好像在对我下药后跑走了 334 00:15:11,994 --> 00:15:12,995 夏茉? 335 00:15:14,455 --> 00:15:15,456 夏茉! 336 00:15:17,791 --> 00:15:21,210 - 夏茉史密斯对知知下药了... - 夏茉史密斯对知知下药了... 337 00:15:21,211 --> 00:15:24,340 你们发现啦?难道没预知到吗? 338 00:15:25,966 --> 00:15:27,884 - 夏茉史密斯会害死我们 - 夏茉史密斯会害死我们 339 00:15:27,885 --> 00:15:30,887 没错, 除非知知说实话 340 00:15:30,888 --> 00:15:32,597 我想吃的真的是牛油果吐司吗? 341 00:15:32,598 --> 00:15:33,766 - 什么? - 什么? 342 00:15:34,308 --> 00:15:36,142 我想吃的真的是牛油果吐司吗? 343 00:15:36,143 --> 00:15:38,019 - 好吧...其实不是 - 好吧...其实不是 344 00:15:38,020 --> 00:15:39,479 而且跟我玩很好玩 345 00:15:39,480 --> 00:15:41,314 - 没错, 你说得没错 - 没错, 你说得没错 346 00:15:41,315 --> 00:15:43,983 - 我们利用你接近你外公来激怒你 - 我们利用你接近你外公来激怒你 347 00:15:43,984 --> 00:15:46,861 没错, 我就知道 我不是爱吃牛油果吐司的庸俗鬼 348 00:15:46,862 --> 00:15:48,696 所以我会把你们送到你们想去的地方 349 00:15:48,697 --> 00:15:50,907 好让我摆脱这个故事 350 00:15:50,908 --> 00:15:53,201 - 我们接受 - 该死 351 00:15:53,202 --> 00:15:55,495 - 把我的知知还我 - 抱歉, 外公 352 00:15:55,496 --> 00:15:57,497 你叫我不要被牵扯进知知的狗屁 353 00:15:57,498 --> 00:16:01,000 - 所以我决定反其道而行 - 这不是反其道而行 354 00:16:01,001 --> 00:16:03,419 夏茉史密斯两秒后会紧急右转 355 00:16:03,420 --> 00:16:04,712 但那里有块广告看板 356 00:16:04,713 --> 00:16:06,047 - 她会紧急右转 - 她会紧急右转 357 00:16:06,048 --> 00:16:07,800 我就相信你们了 358 00:16:09,510 --> 00:16:11,470 天啊, 你们棒呆了 359 00:16:11,762 --> 00:16:13,680 你不配拥有我的美丽小秃子 360 00:16:13,681 --> 00:16:15,391 - 她会做个翻滚特技 - 她会做个翻滚特技 361 00:16:19,770 --> 00:16:20,853 你毁了一切, 夏茉 362 00:16:20,854 --> 00:16:24,566 那些预测未来的知知狗屁 总算合我意了 363 00:16:25,985 --> 00:16:27,777 我还以为你今天想跟我一起玩 364 00:16:27,778 --> 00:16:29,196 不是这样玩 365 00:16:31,156 --> 00:16:32,825 她会拉起手刹 366 00:16:34,910 --> 00:16:37,079 (餐厅用品批发中心, 新商品) 367 00:16:37,788 --> 00:16:40,206 左, 右, 右, 左 368 00:16:40,207 --> 00:16:42,543 她会把外公从高速公路上撞下去 369 00:16:45,504 --> 00:16:47,672 垃圾族人, 我的族人 370 00:16:47,673 --> 00:16:50,675 - 回收登知道了垃圾乌托邦的存在 - 不! 371 00:16:50,676 --> 00:16:54,012 我们唯一的机会就是向他们开战 372 00:16:54,013 --> 00:16:57,932 恕我直言 攻击回收登的高塔简直是自杀 373 00:16:57,933 --> 00:16:59,809 - 我认同 - 别听他的 374 00:16:59,810 --> 00:17:01,477 他是魔鬼代言机器人 375 00:17:01,478 --> 00:17:03,438 我很高兴瑞克把他丢了 376 00:17:03,439 --> 00:17:05,982 恕我直言, 你看起来不太高兴 377 00:17:05,983 --> 00:17:07,401 - 没错 - 没错 378 00:17:10,529 --> 00:17:12,197 天啊, 好大声 379 00:17:14,324 --> 00:17:16,534 哥布林纳德斯号角提醒着我们 380 00:17:16,535 --> 00:17:17,785 万事皆有可能 381 00:17:17,786 --> 00:17:20,788 他们第2集推翻加布那布精灵之子前 就吹过这个号角 382 00:17:20,789 --> 00:17:22,665 还有第3集的布鲁加许木 383 00:17:22,666 --> 00:17:24,625 还有第4集的白巫师 384 00:17:24,626 --> 00:17:27,378 好吧, 我懂, 我经常炒冷饭 385 00:17:27,379 --> 00:17:29,255 你看过“魔法哥布林”吗? 386 00:17:29,256 --> 00:17:32,717 对, 我很喜欢 我才14岁, 我是目标受众 387 00:17:32,718 --> 00:17:34,344 回收登到门口了 388 00:17:45,481 --> 00:17:46,939 侦测不到价值 389 00:17:46,940 --> 00:17:48,067 砰 390 00:17:48,942 --> 00:17:50,861 正中红心 391 00:17:53,572 --> 00:17:57,492 我被小便斗炸弹骗了?丢脸死了 392 00:17:57,493 --> 00:18:00,662 莫蒂, 我的人生 在你出现之前明明很美好 393 00:18:02,414 --> 00:18:05,292 下地狱去吃屎吧, 高塔 394 00:18:05,834 --> 00:18:06,835 小心 395 00:18:15,677 --> 00:18:19,389 我的族人, 推翻你们的压迫者 396 00:18:25,270 --> 00:18:31,485 别告诉瑞克... 397 00:18:32,402 --> 00:18:34,029 可怜的回收登 398 00:18:34,530 --> 00:18:37,574 他们其实也跟我们一样, 很怕被丢弃 399 00:18:38,033 --> 00:18:43,205 但在从今天开始的新世代之中 每个人都是有价值的 400 00:18:43,372 --> 00:18:44,665 尤其是作家 401 00:18:46,041 --> 00:18:48,042 我还是有一点垃圾 402 00:18:48,043 --> 00:18:50,045 看来你是遗传到爸爸 403 00:19:00,597 --> 00:19:01,597 (热知) 404 00:19:01,598 --> 00:19:02,807 准时开门 405 00:19:02,808 --> 00:19:04,934 这个餐车在网络上很红 406 00:19:04,935 --> 00:19:07,645 对, 连网友提到的 步履蹒跚的老人都有 407 00:19:07,646 --> 00:19:08,939 天啊 408 00:19:09,648 --> 00:19:12,483 你让我们经历了这些事 就只为了帮助身心俱疲的餐厅员工 409 00:19:12,484 --> 00:19:13,777 创业开餐车? 410 00:19:13,944 --> 00:19:14,945 真庸俗 411 00:19:15,112 --> 00:19:17,072 她其实很有深度 412 00:19:18,282 --> 00:19:20,491 天啊, 这热狗真好吃 413 00:19:20,492 --> 00:19:22,535 这有比牛油果吐司好吗? 414 00:19:22,536 --> 00:19:24,204 你不懂这种细微差距 415 00:19:24,454 --> 00:19:27,249 你们知知确定不想继续跟我玩吗? 416 00:19:27,416 --> 00:19:28,708 有没有哪个部分是真实的? 417 00:19:28,709 --> 00:19:31,962 瑞克桑切斯不会想听到答案的 418 00:19:33,547 --> 00:19:35,131 如果他想听呢? 419 00:19:35,132 --> 00:19:38,635 (二手枪支) 420 00:19:39,636 --> 00:19:42,138 我又试了传送门, 没有用 421 00:19:42,139 --> 00:19:44,182 瑞克真的很讨厌“七宝奇谋” 422 00:19:44,183 --> 00:19:46,852 我们应该会喜欢在垃圾乌托邦的生活 423 00:19:47,144 --> 00:19:49,896 我其实已经讨了个垃圾妻子 424 00:19:49,897 --> 00:19:51,606 你“讨了”她? 425 00:19:51,607 --> 00:19:54,026 我们把自己献给了彼此 426 00:19:54,401 --> 00:19:57,403 就算有办法离开, 我也会留在这里 427 00:19:57,404 --> 00:20:00,490 你在这里就不会 被逼着付赡养费了, 对吧? 428 00:20:01,158 --> 00:20:05,786 爸, 看看我们两个一起相处 429 00:20:05,787 --> 00:20:07,539 是啊, 感觉真棒 430 00:20:11,543 --> 00:20:13,879 那是辆餐车吗? 431 00:20:14,129 --> 00:20:15,504 这里已经开始士绅化了 432 00:20:15,505 --> 00:20:19,217 瑞克...带我走, 天啊! 433 00:20:19,218 --> 00:20:21,677 别担心, 我们的儿子不会像他那样 434 00:20:21,678 --> 00:20:25,265 我不是针对你们 我才14岁, 我得离开这里 435 00:20:25,682 --> 00:20:28,018 “那是我最后一次见到我爸” 436 00:20:28,268 --> 00:20:32,064 “我妈的声音 又再度随风传进了我耳里” 437 00:20:32,648 --> 00:20:34,190 “‘自由地活吧, 儿子’” 438 00:20:34,191 --> 00:20:36,442 “奇怪的是, 我确实感到自由” 439 00:20:36,443 --> 00:20:38,402 “我爸很糟糕” 440 00:20:38,403 --> 00:20:40,821 “我妈又是垃圾” 441 00:20:40,822 --> 00:20:42,865 “但我现在看清自己了” 442 00:20:42,866 --> 00:20:45,619 “而这样好像也就足够了” 443 00:20:46,912 --> 00:20:48,871 - 我就说吧? - 那个小混蛋 444 00:20:48,872 --> 00:20:51,666 真不敢相信, 他竟然靠瑞克的 垃圾卫星故事谈到了书约 445 00:20:51,667 --> 00:20:52,833 走吧, 我们要登机了 446 00:20:52,834 --> 00:20:54,419 你们还会看书啊? 447 00:21:28,453 --> 00:21:31,790 53号贵宾, 芝加哥式热知 448 00:21:32,666 --> 00:21:35,501 恕我直言 我知道你们不提供替换服务 449 00:21:35,502 --> 00:21:37,920 但我不希望我的热狗加洋葱 450 00:21:37,921 --> 00:21:39,505 不对, 你希望 451 00:21:39,506 --> 00:21:40,715 恕我直言, 我不希望 452 00:21:40,716 --> 00:21:44,136 你会在43岁时严重心脏病发死亡 453 00:21:45,512 --> 00:21:46,513 恕... 454 00:21:46,972 --> 00:21:47,973 恕... 455 00:21:49,141 --> 00:21:50,266 恕我直言 456 00:21:50,267 --> 00:21:51,976 老板找你 457 00:21:51,977 --> 00:21:53,811 这是预测还是... 458 00:21:53,812 --> 00:21:55,271 快去找他就是了, 史蒂夫 459 00:21:55,272 --> 00:21:56,355 待续 460 00:21:56,356 --> 00:21:57,441 谢谢观赏 461 00:21:59,443 --> 00:22:01,445 翻译:高健铭 461 00:22:02,305 --> 00:23:02,703 Watch Online Movies and Series for FREE www.osdb.link/lm