Jane Austen Wrecked My Life

1 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org 2 00:02:03,472 --> 00:02:05,912 JANE AUSTEN WRECKED MY LIFE 3 00:03:50,872 --> 00:03:53,832 Who's this bug? What are you doing here? 4 00:03:55,112 --> 00:03:57,872 Are your PJs in the wash? 5 00:03:58,912 --> 00:03:59,872 Yes. 6 00:04:02,232 --> 00:04:04,032 What a comfortable pillow! 7 00:04:05,352 --> 00:04:06,952 Nice and fluffy. 8 00:04:07,472 --> 00:04:08,832 Where's your mum? 9 00:04:09,712 --> 00:04:11,952 She's asleep. There's a guy in her bed. 10 00:04:12,032 --> 00:04:14,352 How do you know there isn't one in mine? 11 00:04:14,832 --> 00:04:16,272 I've never seen one... 12 00:04:18,072 --> 00:04:21,032 Maybe he's hiding under my bed! 13 00:04:24,792 --> 00:04:26,072 Hey! 14 00:04:28,112 --> 00:04:30,592 Tom, my son, and Agathe, my sister. 15 00:04:31,552 --> 00:04:32,832 And this is... 16 00:04:33,591 --> 00:04:35,071 -Raphael. -Gabriel. 17 00:04:36,312 --> 00:04:37,272 Hi. 18 00:04:37,992 --> 00:04:39,392 Bye, pumpkin. 19 00:04:39,472 --> 00:04:41,672 I'm late, I'm opening the pool at 8:00. 20 00:04:42,152 --> 00:04:43,752 I'd love a green tea. 21 00:04:45,152 --> 00:04:46,472 I'm coffee intolerant. 22 00:04:47,232 --> 00:04:48,232 Sorry. 23 00:04:50,032 --> 00:04:52,232 Bye, zebra. I'll pick you up at teatime. 24 00:04:52,312 --> 00:04:53,272 See you later! 25 00:04:53,352 --> 00:04:55,633 -Bye, er, Raphael. -Gabriel. 26 00:04:58,992 --> 00:05:00,272 Right... 27 00:05:01,113 --> 00:05:02,432 A bit of a memory issue. 28 00:05:17,632 --> 00:05:19,872 You're so bloody slow! 29 00:05:21,912 --> 00:05:23,792 God, you're so slow! 30 00:05:25,472 --> 00:05:26,512 Are you okay? 31 00:05:27,112 --> 00:05:28,432 Shit, sorry. 32 00:05:28,512 --> 00:05:29,472 She's barking. 33 00:05:33,192 --> 00:05:35,953 My little secret is the stewed onions. 34 00:05:36,792 --> 00:05:39,032 Look, it's her again. 35 00:05:39,872 --> 00:05:41,512 I can't stand her any more. 36 00:05:42,832 --> 00:05:45,152 Ever heard of the concept of "breadcrumber"? 37 00:05:46,712 --> 00:05:48,072 No, never. 38 00:05:48,153 --> 00:05:50,832 -It was tailor-made for you. -What is it? 39 00:05:51,672 --> 00:05:53,592 You give girls attention, 40 00:05:53,672 --> 00:05:56,352 the hope of something special, but never commit. 41 00:05:57,392 --> 00:05:58,993 You leave everything to stew! 42 00:05:59,072 --> 00:06:00,592 Girls, onions... 43 00:06:03,192 --> 00:06:04,152 See? 44 00:06:04,952 --> 00:06:06,632 You keep them hanging on... 45 00:06:06,712 --> 00:06:08,672 -Hey! -...just in case. 46 00:06:08,752 --> 00:06:11,392 Give me a break! What would you know anyway? 47 00:06:11,473 --> 00:06:14,112 Your only relationship is with your sandwich. 48 00:06:15,392 --> 00:06:17,832 You're so vulgar, madam. 49 00:06:17,913 --> 00:06:20,232 With that drop of sauce, you're disgusting too! 50 00:06:23,232 --> 00:06:24,192 No, stop! 51 00:06:25,112 --> 00:06:26,072 Shit! 52 00:06:26,153 --> 00:06:27,152 All right? 53 00:06:31,272 --> 00:06:32,232 Hang on. 54 00:06:41,992 --> 00:06:43,153 When did you last shag? 55 00:06:43,232 --> 00:06:45,392 Speak properly. I can't understand you. 56 00:06:45,472 --> 00:06:47,032 Come on, tell me the truth. 57 00:06:47,553 --> 00:06:48,513 Shut it! 58 00:06:52,712 --> 00:06:53,912 What are you waiting for? 59 00:06:54,992 --> 00:06:55,952 Mark Darcy? 60 00:06:57,112 --> 00:06:58,472 Afraid he'll never show up? 61 00:06:58,992 --> 00:07:01,152 -I'm not afraid. -Sure you are. 62 00:07:02,752 --> 00:07:05,672 You're scared of suffering, love affairs, one-night stands. 63 00:07:05,752 --> 00:07:07,632 You're scared of apps. 64 00:07:08,832 --> 00:07:11,352 You're scared. You don't live, you hide. 65 00:07:11,432 --> 00:07:13,073 I don't, it's just that... 66 00:07:13,152 --> 00:07:15,072 I'm not into Uber sex. 67 00:07:15,592 --> 00:07:18,512 I don't do digital. I don't want to have to "like" guys 68 00:07:18,592 --> 00:07:21,952 or hear them tiptoe off so as not to wake me up. 69 00:07:25,273 --> 00:07:26,952 I'm not living in the right century. 70 00:07:57,073 --> 00:07:58,272 -Agathe? -Yes. 71 00:07:58,752 --> 00:08:00,032 Let go. 72 00:08:02,752 --> 00:08:05,033 I'm not sure I can write to a dead person. 73 00:08:05,112 --> 00:08:07,513 Nobody's forcing you to be here. 74 00:08:08,712 --> 00:08:11,512 You churn out cheap romances. 75 00:08:11,592 --> 00:08:13,632 It wouldn't hurt to explore something else. 76 00:08:14,513 --> 00:08:17,152 You need to be in tune with the times, Agathe. 77 00:08:45,112 --> 00:08:46,672 Excuse me. 78 00:08:48,513 --> 00:08:51,472 Could I have the ladies version? 79 00:08:51,553 --> 00:08:53,873 -I'll fetch one right away. -Thank you. 80 00:09:12,592 --> 00:09:14,313 It's on the house. 81 00:09:20,313 --> 00:09:21,273 Thank you. 82 00:10:55,192 --> 00:10:57,313 Wear your green socks. Change socks. 83 00:10:59,032 --> 00:11:00,753 Félix is snoring on our couch! 84 00:11:00,832 --> 00:11:02,032 Again? 85 00:11:02,592 --> 00:11:05,192 Wake him up. Tell him to make you toast. 86 00:11:05,273 --> 00:11:07,352 His feet stink! 87 00:11:07,433 --> 00:11:08,993 I know, but he's sweet. 88 00:11:32,713 --> 00:11:34,193 Sorry, sorry. 89 00:11:35,232 --> 00:11:36,913 Why are you still here? 90 00:11:36,992 --> 00:11:40,073 Hey, Bukowski, could you go take a shower? 91 00:11:42,112 --> 00:11:44,392 Don't push it, you! 92 00:11:49,033 --> 00:11:50,832 You read it? It isn't even finished! 93 00:11:50,913 --> 00:11:53,872 -Félix, that's not on. -Calm down. 94 00:11:53,953 --> 00:11:55,272 It's good. 95 00:11:55,353 --> 00:11:56,472 Very good, even. 96 00:11:57,032 --> 00:12:00,633 Seriously. It's a little weird like you, but... 97 00:12:01,552 --> 00:12:02,632 it's touching. 98 00:12:03,872 --> 00:12:04,832 It's not bad at all. 99 00:12:06,153 --> 00:12:07,152 What happens next? 100 00:12:08,112 --> 00:12:09,392 I don't know, as usual. 101 00:12:09,473 --> 00:12:13,713 It's the umpteenth story I've started and can't finish. 102 00:12:13,792 --> 00:12:15,993 You must. I want to know what happens next. 103 00:12:18,913 --> 00:12:20,352 Writing in English suits you. 104 00:12:22,753 --> 00:12:23,713 It's really good. 105 00:12:52,432 --> 00:12:54,632 Do you have a Jane Austen for every circumstance? 106 00:12:54,713 --> 00:12:55,793 Yes. 107 00:12:57,473 --> 00:12:58,912 What would you recommend to me? 108 00:12:59,633 --> 00:13:00,713 <i>Mansfield Park.</i> 109 00:13:02,353 --> 00:13:04,433 -Henry Crawford is you. -Why? 110 00:13:04,512 --> 00:13:06,073 He's a liar and a seducer. 111 00:13:07,552 --> 00:13:11,072 A Casanova caught out at his own game when he falls in love. 112 00:13:12,673 --> 00:13:13,673 And who would you be? 113 00:13:14,232 --> 00:13:15,872 Anne Elliot in <i>Persuasion.</i> 114 00:13:17,952 --> 00:13:18,912 Why? 115 00:13:19,673 --> 00:13:22,393 Because she's an old maid 116 00:13:22,472 --> 00:13:25,113 who has wilted like a flower in need of water. 117 00:13:30,552 --> 00:13:33,233 She has let life pass her by. 118 00:14:06,553 --> 00:14:08,552 For an old dried-up flower, you smell good. 119 00:15:15,193 --> 00:15:16,153 What's that? 120 00:15:18,673 --> 00:15:20,513 An invite from the Jane Austen Residency 121 00:15:20,593 --> 00:15:23,473 to spend two weeks at their writers' retreat. 122 00:15:26,513 --> 00:15:28,553 They liked my first chapters? 123 00:15:33,433 --> 00:15:35,112 Fuck, don't tell me it was you! 124 00:15:35,193 --> 00:15:37,473 You needed a kick up the ass. 125 00:15:37,553 --> 00:15:38,753 Thanks. 126 00:15:41,113 --> 00:15:42,073 But I can't. 127 00:15:42,593 --> 00:15:44,233 -Why? -You know why. 128 00:15:44,313 --> 00:15:46,912 -Don't bail. -How do I get there? By bike? 129 00:15:46,993 --> 00:15:47,953 Great idea! 130 00:15:48,033 --> 00:15:49,993 Let's call Mona and celebrate. 131 00:15:50,673 --> 00:15:53,193 No, forget it. You won't change my mind. 132 00:15:53,273 --> 00:15:56,993 You're so annoying. I could bite you. 133 00:16:26,033 --> 00:16:28,312 -You okay, pumpkin? -Yes. 134 00:16:28,393 --> 00:16:29,873 -Did you sleep well? -Yes. 135 00:16:36,473 --> 00:16:37,912 When does the retreat start? 136 00:16:39,673 --> 00:16:41,833 Tom, do you want to go to the zoo? 137 00:16:41,913 --> 00:16:43,073 Yes! I'll get dressed. 138 00:16:44,912 --> 00:16:47,193 -Can I say something? -Nope. 139 00:16:47,273 --> 00:16:49,153 I'm going to, anyway. 140 00:16:50,153 --> 00:16:51,272 It starts in three days. 141 00:16:52,273 --> 00:16:54,393 I can cover for you at the bookshop. 142 00:16:54,472 --> 00:16:55,433 So we're good. 143 00:16:58,393 --> 00:17:00,593 Plan to spend your life cycling around Paris, 144 00:17:01,112 --> 00:17:03,193 moaning about writer's block? 145 00:17:04,273 --> 00:17:07,433 Leave me alone, you two! I can't go, okay? 146 00:17:07,952 --> 00:17:09,953 I can't get back in a car. 147 00:17:10,873 --> 00:17:11,833 Is that clear enough? 148 00:17:18,393 --> 00:17:19,793 What the hell are you doing? 149 00:17:21,473 --> 00:17:23,193 Duh, eating. I'm hungry. 150 00:17:24,913 --> 00:17:25,873 Oh really? 151 00:17:27,152 --> 00:17:29,553 Cold pasta at 2:00 am... 152 00:17:32,193 --> 00:17:33,433 Can't you be like Duras? 153 00:17:33,913 --> 00:17:38,193 Drink whisky, take pills, something a bit more flamboyant? 154 00:17:40,113 --> 00:17:41,473 Nice. Thanks. 155 00:17:42,593 --> 00:17:43,553 Hey... 156 00:17:44,073 --> 00:17:45,672 what the fuck is wrong with you? 157 00:17:48,033 --> 00:17:50,833 I know you're disappointed but this trip is too much for me. 158 00:17:55,113 --> 00:17:56,753 You stupid cow! 159 00:17:58,793 --> 00:18:00,673 I'm sick of your bullshit. 160 00:18:00,753 --> 00:18:02,913 You've put your life on hold since the accident. 161 00:18:03,593 --> 00:18:05,513 You refuse to go back to the Bergeronette. 162 00:18:06,153 --> 00:18:08,153 I've had to spend every summer there 163 00:18:08,233 --> 00:18:10,073 alone with Tom since he was born. 164 00:18:14,913 --> 00:18:15,873 Sorry. 165 00:18:18,633 --> 00:18:19,593 Are you okay? 166 00:18:20,913 --> 00:18:22,473 No. I'm having a panic attack. 167 00:18:22,553 --> 00:18:24,473 Breathe, breathe, breathe. 168 00:18:25,193 --> 00:18:27,313 -I can't. -Come on, breathe. 169 00:18:30,913 --> 00:18:34,073 -Give me a cigarette. -No! You struggled to quit. 170 00:18:34,153 --> 00:18:36,753 -Give me a fucking cig! -Hang on, calm down. 171 00:18:39,793 --> 00:18:40,753 Here you go. 172 00:18:46,073 --> 00:18:47,233 Give me one. 173 00:18:47,313 --> 00:18:49,673 What are you doing? Cut that out! 174 00:19:00,753 --> 00:19:03,673 Agathe, you're such a pain. 175 00:19:14,193 --> 00:19:16,193 Excuse me, a dangerous individual 176 00:19:16,273 --> 00:19:17,753 is hiding in your group. 177 00:19:19,313 --> 00:19:20,553 Give me a break! 178 00:19:21,513 --> 00:19:22,873 Félix, do you honestly think 179 00:19:22,953 --> 00:19:24,833 I'm a match for published authors? 180 00:19:24,913 --> 00:19:28,353 Of course! You've just got impostor syndrome. 181 00:19:28,433 --> 00:19:30,873 No, I don't, I'm a genuine impostor. 182 00:19:39,913 --> 00:19:44,193 <i>In my heart I have a funny Sicilian song</i> 183 00:19:44,273 --> 00:19:48,993 <i>That you know by heart Because my life resembles yours</i> 184 00:19:49,073 --> 00:19:53,713 <i>I love you more Than the volcanoes of Italy</i> 185 00:19:56,193 --> 00:19:57,273 Remember this? 186 00:20:00,993 --> 00:20:03,633 <i>I love you the Italian way</i> 187 00:20:09,633 --> 00:20:11,793 <i>My heart pounds</i> 188 00:20:11,873 --> 00:20:14,193 <i>I speak with my hands</i> 189 00:20:14,273 --> 00:20:19,353 <i>And I see red When you talk to anyone</i> 190 00:20:19,433 --> 00:20:24,033 <i>When the south wind Plays la musica</i> 191 00:20:24,113 --> 00:20:27,713 <i>I sing along with it Just for you</i> 192 00:20:29,953 --> 00:20:32,633 <i>I love you the Italian way</i> 193 00:21:07,113 --> 00:21:08,633 It feels good to see the sea. 194 00:21:09,273 --> 00:21:10,233 You were right. 195 00:21:13,433 --> 00:21:14,873 I miss the Bergeronette. 196 00:21:16,793 --> 00:21:17,753 I know. 197 00:21:25,513 --> 00:21:26,473 Here... 198 00:21:27,993 --> 00:21:30,753 for your nerves, take half a pill on the ferry 199 00:21:30,833 --> 00:21:33,033 and the other half before bed. 200 00:21:33,113 --> 00:21:34,833 You'll feel better, okay? 201 00:21:35,393 --> 00:21:38,553 How do you know I won't get anaphylactic shock or-- 202 00:25:43,593 --> 00:25:44,553 Hello? 203 00:25:45,233 --> 00:25:47,593 Not at all. I don't know where we are. 204 00:25:47,673 --> 00:25:49,394 Our car just broke down in a forest. 205 00:25:50,433 --> 00:25:51,634 Plus I'm stuck 206 00:25:51,713 --> 00:25:55,314 with Jane Austen's great-great-great-nephew. 207 00:25:56,353 --> 00:25:59,513 No, he's unbearable, really arrogant 208 00:25:59,593 --> 00:26:01,033 and totally stuck-up. 209 00:26:01,553 --> 00:26:02,953 I've never seen the like. 210 00:26:03,473 --> 00:26:05,474 I threw up on his shoes, too. 211 00:26:05,994 --> 00:26:07,634 Hello? Mona? 212 00:26:09,633 --> 00:26:11,074 Shit, I'm out of battery! 213 00:26:18,354 --> 00:26:19,833 I speak French, you know. 214 00:26:23,994 --> 00:26:25,074 Shit. 215 00:26:33,874 --> 00:26:34,834 Sorry. 216 00:26:37,113 --> 00:26:39,273 I lived with a French woman for five years. 217 00:26:40,154 --> 00:26:41,753 One of my worst-ever decisions. 218 00:26:42,713 --> 00:26:45,993 And you're rude to French women because she dumped you. 219 00:26:51,313 --> 00:26:53,474 You don't know how to fix your car, do you? 220 00:26:55,033 --> 00:26:56,194 Not a clue. 221 00:26:58,114 --> 00:26:59,393 Do you have service? 222 00:27:02,193 --> 00:27:03,153 None. 223 00:27:08,674 --> 00:27:10,113 Is the next village far? 224 00:27:13,234 --> 00:27:14,273 It'll be dark soon. 225 00:27:16,593 --> 00:27:18,113 So what do we do now? 226 00:27:19,674 --> 00:27:20,874 We wait. 227 00:27:22,434 --> 00:27:23,553 What's the other option? 228 00:27:23,634 --> 00:27:26,873 We decide who eats who to survive. 229 00:27:47,313 --> 00:27:49,113 What's your problem with cars? 230 00:27:56,434 --> 00:27:57,993 I was in a crash with my parents. 231 00:28:01,794 --> 00:28:04,354 My dad had a stroke and lost control of the car. 232 00:28:04,433 --> 00:28:05,994 They were killed instantly. 233 00:28:07,593 --> 00:28:10,274 I was in the back and escaped with injuries. 234 00:28:17,633 --> 00:28:18,634 I'm sorry. 235 00:28:21,794 --> 00:28:22,874 It is what it is. 236 00:28:31,193 --> 00:28:32,234 If you're cold... 237 00:28:36,474 --> 00:28:37,434 Thank you. 238 00:28:40,194 --> 00:28:43,594 Try to get some sleep. 239 00:28:45,074 --> 00:28:46,034 Yep. 240 00:29:27,234 --> 00:29:29,154 Are you whistling <i>La Marseillaise?</i> 241 00:30:48,753 --> 00:30:49,914 You're enjoying this, eh? 242 00:30:51,073 --> 00:30:52,033 Kind of. 243 00:31:31,994 --> 00:31:34,953 You're incredibly young! 244 00:31:35,434 --> 00:31:37,993 I thought you were much older. 245 00:31:39,314 --> 00:31:41,553 -You speak French? -Yes. 246 00:31:41,634 --> 00:31:42,674 I love it! 247 00:31:43,274 --> 00:31:45,393 I'm sorry about last night. 248 00:31:46,274 --> 00:31:50,193 My son Oliver insists on driving that old car. 249 00:31:50,274 --> 00:31:52,994 Give me your coat. 250 00:31:53,554 --> 00:31:54,514 That's it. 251 00:31:58,354 --> 00:31:59,314 Thank you. 252 00:32:03,994 --> 00:32:05,794 To be honest, I haven't eaten for ages 253 00:32:05,874 --> 00:32:07,873 and I'm starving. If I could grab... 254 00:32:07,954 --> 00:32:09,514 My dear. 255 00:32:09,594 --> 00:32:15,074 You've come to the right place for a proper English breakfast. 256 00:32:15,153 --> 00:32:19,154 You're free to write wherever you like, 257 00:32:19,234 --> 00:32:21,234 to stroll in the grounds... 258 00:32:22,433 --> 00:32:25,914 And we always hold a ball 259 00:32:25,993 --> 00:32:27,714 at the beginning of autumn. 260 00:32:27,794 --> 00:32:28,873 A ball! 261 00:32:28,954 --> 00:32:32,194 And a public reading of your work in progress. 262 00:32:33,434 --> 00:32:35,434 Is the public reading... 263 00:32:35,993 --> 00:32:36,953 compulsory? 264 00:32:37,034 --> 00:32:39,394 Yes, my dear, but it's all very casual. 265 00:32:39,874 --> 00:32:41,034 You'll see. 266 00:32:41,794 --> 00:32:45,954 I hope you'll be inspired here. 267 00:32:47,113 --> 00:32:49,634 Your agent said you needed peace and quiet 268 00:32:49,713 --> 00:32:51,353 because of your age. 269 00:32:52,674 --> 00:32:53,954 My agent? 270 00:33:40,754 --> 00:33:42,154 I thought it was the bathroom! 271 00:33:42,594 --> 00:33:43,913 What a direct approach. 272 00:33:44,713 --> 00:33:47,193 I'd be grateful if you locked your side too. 273 00:33:50,393 --> 00:33:51,354 Thank you! 274 00:35:02,194 --> 00:35:03,754 <i>Write me down</i> 275 00:35:04,594 --> 00:35:05,594 <i>Cover me up</i> 276 00:35:06,234 --> 00:35:07,514 <i>Swallow my face</i> 277 00:35:08,434 --> 00:35:10,474 <i>Mute my voice Hear my whisper</i> 278 00:35:10,994 --> 00:35:12,274 <i>Listen to my cry...</i> 279 00:35:48,234 --> 00:35:49,474 Good to meet you, Agathe. 280 00:36:24,794 --> 00:36:26,034 What's the matter with him? 281 00:36:27,674 --> 00:36:28,634 I don't know. 282 00:36:30,154 --> 00:36:32,074 He refuses to see a doctor, but... 283 00:36:32,634 --> 00:36:35,234 we're going to have to face facts soon. 284 00:36:37,074 --> 00:36:39,314 Did you find your bathroom? 285 00:37:58,474 --> 00:38:01,634 Agathe, how come you speak such good English? 286 00:38:03,434 --> 00:38:04,474 My father is... 287 00:38:05,714 --> 00:38:08,234 was born in Bristol and spoke to us in English. 288 00:38:44,274 --> 00:38:45,514 Where the fuck am I? 289 00:39:00,754 --> 00:39:02,474 Why isn't it working? 290 00:39:28,835 --> 00:39:30,794 The house is that way. 291 00:39:31,474 --> 00:39:33,514 I know. Thanks. 292 00:39:46,034 --> 00:39:48,875 <i>I love you the Italian way</i> 293 00:39:54,635 --> 00:39:56,634 <i>My heart pounds</i> 294 00:39:56,714 --> 00:39:59,514 <i>I speak with my hands</i> 295 00:39:59,594 --> 00:40:04,194 <i>And I see red When you talk to anyone</i> 296 00:40:16,194 --> 00:40:18,234 Hello, what are you doing here? 297 00:40:21,754 --> 00:40:23,034 What the fuck! 298 00:40:23,114 --> 00:40:24,554 What's your problem? 299 00:40:26,995 --> 00:40:28,434 Stay away from me! 300 00:40:51,194 --> 00:40:54,074 I'm lying on my bed, thinking about you. 301 00:40:55,754 --> 00:40:57,674 Thinking about when we kissed, 302 00:40:59,674 --> 00:41:01,114 your tongue in my mouth, 303 00:41:03,075 --> 00:41:04,035 your tongue in my-- 304 00:41:07,435 --> 00:41:08,874 "Your tongue in my..." 305 00:41:09,554 --> 00:41:10,514 Fuck! 306 00:41:10,595 --> 00:41:13,755 Oh no! 307 00:41:13,834 --> 00:41:15,714 Fuck, fuck, fuck. 308 00:41:29,634 --> 00:41:31,114 Where did you get the idea? 309 00:41:32,714 --> 00:41:34,034 What idea? 310 00:41:34,114 --> 00:41:35,074 Your novel. 311 00:41:35,835 --> 00:41:38,914 A woman who falls for the man she sees in her sake cup. 312 00:41:40,594 --> 00:41:42,955 In my local Chinese restaurant. 313 00:41:44,514 --> 00:41:46,514 You probably think it's ridiculous. 314 00:41:46,594 --> 00:41:48,074 No. It intrigues me. 315 00:41:49,114 --> 00:41:50,434 Are you making headway? 316 00:41:51,794 --> 00:41:53,275 Yes, a lot. 317 00:41:53,795 --> 00:41:56,675 I'm writing non-stop. It's so inspiring here. 318 00:43:56,035 --> 00:43:57,955 <i>Mona isn't home. Leave a message.</i> 319 00:43:58,755 --> 00:43:59,835 Hi, it's me. 320 00:44:00,434 --> 00:44:02,554 I hope you're both well. 321 00:44:03,074 --> 00:44:04,955 Call me back when you can. 322 00:44:05,954 --> 00:44:09,195 Tom, a llama spat right in my face. 323 00:44:09,274 --> 00:44:11,075 You'd have loved it. 324 00:44:11,795 --> 00:44:14,074 I miss you. I'll be home in eight sleeps. 325 00:44:14,154 --> 00:44:15,114 Love you. 326 00:47:18,195 --> 00:47:19,354 Damn. 327 00:47:21,554 --> 00:47:22,514 Do you have kids? 328 00:47:23,874 --> 00:47:25,114 It's for my nephew Tom. 329 00:47:26,155 --> 00:47:27,875 I've lived with him since he was born. 330 00:47:29,835 --> 00:47:32,475 My sister fell pregnant just after our parents died. 331 00:47:32,555 --> 00:47:34,355 So we decided to all live together. 332 00:47:35,035 --> 00:47:36,715 -How old is he? -Six. 333 00:47:36,795 --> 00:47:40,155 I found this old illustrated edition 334 00:47:40,235 --> 00:47:42,595 of <i>The Wonderful Adventures of Nils</i>. 335 00:47:42,674 --> 00:47:45,235 -Does he know it? -I don't think so. 336 00:47:45,315 --> 00:47:46,475 It's a good idea. 337 00:47:50,555 --> 00:47:52,995 Wouldn't you like to have your own children... 338 00:47:53,795 --> 00:47:55,635 with your partner? 339 00:48:14,275 --> 00:48:16,155 I haven't slept with a guy in two years. 340 00:48:17,595 --> 00:48:20,715 I fantasize about my sake cup and I snog my best friend. 341 00:48:23,155 --> 00:48:26,954 The university suspended me for wrecking the staff room. 342 00:48:29,154 --> 00:48:33,075 My partner slept with most of the literature department. 343 00:48:33,155 --> 00:48:35,474 Men, women, everyone. 344 00:48:36,195 --> 00:48:38,074 I'm very, very good at screwing up. 345 00:48:39,195 --> 00:48:40,435 The Palme d'Or of losers. 346 00:48:41,035 --> 00:48:43,315 The Turner Prize for drifting. 347 00:48:43,395 --> 00:48:46,755 I moved back home, but Dad walks around half-naked, 348 00:48:46,834 --> 00:48:47,995 forgets my name... 349 00:48:49,235 --> 00:48:51,675 And I can't sleep without Tramadol. 350 00:49:33,275 --> 00:49:35,875 Have I had breakfast? 351 00:49:36,675 --> 00:49:39,555 -I can't remember. -Yes, you had it this morning. 352 00:49:42,755 --> 00:49:43,955 But you're... 353 00:49:44,714 --> 00:49:47,275 -You're very beautiful. -Thank you. 354 00:49:48,035 --> 00:49:49,835 I'm going to write a poem for you. 355 00:49:50,875 --> 00:49:53,195 Let me take you back to your room first. 356 00:49:53,275 --> 00:49:54,235 All right. 357 00:49:57,915 --> 00:49:59,394 We'll find your trousers. 358 00:50:05,955 --> 00:50:07,354 I'll take it from here. 359 00:50:07,435 --> 00:50:08,395 All right. 360 00:50:09,195 --> 00:50:10,234 Thank you. 361 00:50:30,195 --> 00:50:31,315 Good night, Agathe. 362 00:50:31,915 --> 00:50:33,115 Good night. 363 00:51:10,835 --> 00:51:12,675 <i>You have no new messages</i>. 364 00:51:13,475 --> 00:51:14,995 <i>Félix hasn't tried to reach you</i> 365 00:51:15,075 --> 00:51:18,394 <i>and you still haven't written a single line.</i> 366 00:51:18,475 --> 00:51:21,035 <i>You're wasting your time at this residency</i> 367 00:51:21,115 --> 00:51:23,115 <i>and you're wasting ours.</i> 368 00:51:56,635 --> 00:51:57,915 I baked them for ages. 369 00:51:58,395 --> 00:52:01,635 I know you like them crunchy on top. 370 00:52:01,715 --> 00:52:02,675 That's kind of you. 371 00:52:03,555 --> 00:52:04,515 I'll have a taste. 372 00:52:05,115 --> 00:52:06,235 Are you making progress? 373 00:52:09,395 --> 00:52:10,475 So good. 374 00:52:10,555 --> 00:52:12,115 How's your love story going? 375 00:52:13,435 --> 00:52:16,315 I can't wait to hear your reading. 376 00:52:18,075 --> 00:52:20,555 Well, I won't disturb you any longer. 377 00:52:20,635 --> 00:52:23,115 I have to go and look after Todd. 378 00:52:23,195 --> 00:52:25,835 Don't you ever get tired of doing everything? 379 00:52:26,955 --> 00:52:29,835 Wordsworth spoke of... 380 00:52:29,915 --> 00:52:32,995 "Little, nameless, unremembered acts 381 00:52:33,515 --> 00:52:36,435 of kindness and of love" 382 00:52:36,515 --> 00:52:39,475 as being the best part of life. 383 00:52:40,755 --> 00:52:41,915 That's beautiful. 384 00:52:41,995 --> 00:52:44,555 I love to see this house full of life. 385 00:52:44,635 --> 00:52:46,875 All the writers who come here... 386 00:52:46,955 --> 00:52:49,075 It's like a family, you know. 387 00:52:49,155 --> 00:52:51,195 And you're part of it now. 388 00:52:51,275 --> 00:52:54,155 Our Oliver has come home too! 389 00:52:56,155 --> 00:52:57,515 He seems better. 390 00:52:58,555 --> 00:53:00,355 I find him more... 391 00:53:03,435 --> 00:53:04,395 I don't know. 392 00:53:05,555 --> 00:53:07,115 See you later. 393 00:53:33,635 --> 00:53:36,955 That's how I became an expert in I Ching. 394 00:53:37,035 --> 00:53:38,955 And I had a lover in Shanghai. 395 00:53:42,875 --> 00:53:44,995 What are you plotting? Can I play too? 396 00:53:45,075 --> 00:53:46,235 Go on, then. 397 00:53:47,115 --> 00:53:48,435 What do I have to do? 398 00:53:48,515 --> 00:53:51,635 Think of a question and write it down here. 399 00:54:07,755 --> 00:54:10,035 "Is Félix in love with me?" 400 00:54:10,116 --> 00:54:12,715 "Have we been afraid of our feelings 401 00:54:12,795 --> 00:54:13,915 these last few years?" 402 00:54:15,155 --> 00:54:16,115 No, that's two questions. 403 00:54:16,195 --> 00:54:17,555 You have to choose one. 404 00:54:24,275 --> 00:54:25,635 Toss the coins three times. 405 00:55:03,876 --> 00:55:04,875 What? 406 00:55:05,475 --> 00:55:08,155 "Obstruction." There's a block. 407 00:55:08,235 --> 00:55:10,835 A separation of yin and yang. 408 00:55:11,715 --> 00:55:14,475 You have to find an alternative. 409 00:55:15,315 --> 00:55:18,235 "A fallback situation must be considered." 410 00:55:18,315 --> 00:55:21,515 "Many disappointments will arise over time 411 00:55:22,075 --> 00:55:24,195 in your love situation." 412 00:55:24,275 --> 00:55:25,315 I'm sorry. 413 00:55:25,835 --> 00:55:27,555 Can we do it again? 414 00:55:27,635 --> 00:55:28,595 No, we can't. 415 00:55:28,675 --> 00:55:29,635 -Come on. -No. 416 00:55:29,715 --> 00:55:32,595 I hate these things anyway. I'm going for a smoke. 417 00:55:50,995 --> 00:55:52,875 <i>Hello?</i> 418 00:55:53,435 --> 00:55:54,435 <i>Agathe?</i> 419 00:55:54,515 --> 00:55:56,315 Are you in a busy place? 420 00:55:56,395 --> 00:55:59,395 <i>Yes. I can't hear. Can you hear me?</i> 421 00:55:59,475 --> 00:56:01,155 Yes, I can. 422 00:56:01,235 --> 00:56:02,475 Did you get my messages? 423 00:56:02,555 --> 00:56:05,395 <i>Yes. Sorry I didn't call back.</i> 424 00:56:05,475 --> 00:56:08,315 <i>I've been busy at the bookshop.</i> 425 00:56:08,395 --> 00:56:09,355 Félix? 426 00:56:10,995 --> 00:56:15,235 You're not ghosting me or breadcrumbing me, are you? 427 00:56:16,156 --> 00:56:18,915 Just don't ruin this, okay? 428 00:56:18,995 --> 00:56:20,515 <i>I can barely hear you.</i> 429 00:56:20,595 --> 00:56:23,955 -<i>What did you say?</i> -Never mind. Take care. Bye. 430 00:56:24,035 --> 00:56:25,315 <i>I can't hear a thing.</i> 431 00:57:48,756 --> 00:57:50,275 Shall we go to the pub? 432 00:59:13,115 --> 00:59:14,235 Are you leaving already? 433 00:59:14,675 --> 00:59:16,796 That depends. Do you play darts? 434 00:59:17,995 --> 00:59:18,955 No. 435 00:59:58,155 --> 01:00:00,396 I'd rather you were conscious. 436 01:00:03,195 --> 01:00:04,636 Can't you just eat me out? 437 01:00:51,195 --> 01:00:52,155 It's me. 438 01:00:59,155 --> 01:01:01,036 You look like shit. 439 01:01:05,915 --> 01:01:07,476 What a welcome! Nice. 440 01:01:09,195 --> 01:01:12,195 I was on the ferry earlier. I was afraid you'd realize. 441 01:01:13,756 --> 01:01:16,315 I've come to distract you and take you to the ball. 442 01:01:16,396 --> 01:01:18,276 Why didn't you reply to my message? 443 01:01:18,355 --> 01:01:19,436 That was some message! 444 01:01:21,436 --> 01:01:23,236 I loved it. Thanks a lot. 445 01:01:24,675 --> 01:01:27,356 I just needed time to process. 446 01:01:27,435 --> 01:01:30,236 I've thought of nothing but you since we kissed... 447 01:01:30,315 --> 01:01:33,195 This new turn of events kind of freaks me out. 448 01:01:55,675 --> 01:01:58,596 Breakfast for two! How splendid is that? 449 01:01:59,316 --> 01:02:01,916 We've wasted 10 years. Let's not waste more. 450 01:02:01,995 --> 01:02:03,635 Kiss me! I missed you. 451 01:02:10,836 --> 01:02:11,796 Are you okay? 452 01:02:18,756 --> 01:02:20,395 Can I get you anything? 453 01:02:20,475 --> 01:02:22,516 No! Stay where you are. 454 01:02:45,755 --> 01:02:47,115 Here, put this on. 455 01:02:48,875 --> 01:02:49,835 All right. 456 01:03:14,555 --> 01:03:16,475 So what did you do? 457 01:03:18,076 --> 01:03:19,475 Sleep with both of them? 458 01:03:20,396 --> 01:03:21,636 No, neither. 459 01:03:23,116 --> 01:03:25,276 Oliver tucked me in 460 01:03:26,635 --> 01:03:28,076 and Félix woke me up. 461 01:03:28,996 --> 01:03:31,835 It was really weird but... 462 01:03:32,436 --> 01:03:33,916 not at all unpleasant. 463 01:03:34,715 --> 01:03:35,955 I'm relieved he's here. 464 01:03:36,516 --> 01:03:38,076 Relieved? Yes. 465 01:03:38,596 --> 01:03:40,075 That doesn't sound very exciting. 466 01:04:51,716 --> 01:04:53,516 -You look beautiful. -Thanks. 467 01:06:29,475 --> 01:06:32,196 Beth, I feel dizzy. Go and dance with Félix. 468 01:06:36,435 --> 01:06:37,395 I'll be right back. 469 01:06:46,836 --> 01:06:47,955 Is he nuts? 470 01:10:00,596 --> 01:10:02,356 No, turn! 471 01:10:10,276 --> 01:10:11,636 Don't do that! 472 01:10:13,156 --> 01:10:15,276 My nipples are sensitive. Are you nuts? 473 01:10:15,356 --> 01:10:17,236 I'll have red marks too. 474 01:10:17,836 --> 01:10:19,836 -Don't do it again. -Okay, fine. 475 01:10:20,396 --> 01:10:22,636 -I mean it. -I got it! 476 01:10:28,436 --> 01:10:31,517 Do you realize this house is 300 years old? 477 01:10:32,836 --> 01:10:34,556 Have you seen how thick the walls are? 478 01:10:38,156 --> 01:10:39,116 Yeah... 479 01:10:42,276 --> 01:10:43,556 I have, yeah. 480 01:10:54,756 --> 01:10:56,196 It's a nice temperature. 481 01:10:58,916 --> 01:11:00,156 Very nice. 482 01:11:02,796 --> 01:11:04,316 Should I open the window wider? 483 01:11:04,396 --> 01:11:06,196 No, it's fine as it is. 484 01:11:06,876 --> 01:11:08,396 There's a lovely breeze. 485 01:11:21,076 --> 01:11:24,597 Maybe there's a reason nothing has ever happened between us. 486 01:11:28,556 --> 01:11:29,836 Was it that bad? 487 01:11:30,396 --> 01:11:33,156 No. That isn't the issue. 488 01:11:34,716 --> 01:11:38,356 But when we're side by side like this, 489 01:11:38,436 --> 01:11:41,116 I just want to eat kebabs and watch TV together. 490 01:11:43,117 --> 01:11:45,596 Well, we know each other inside out. 491 01:11:47,116 --> 01:11:49,277 So it'll take us a bit of time... 492 01:11:50,036 --> 01:11:52,437 to adjust to this new situation. 493 01:11:52,516 --> 01:11:54,796 -Are you serious? -Yes. It's perfectly normal. 494 01:11:56,076 --> 01:11:59,196 With you, I have found my double flame at last. 495 01:11:59,276 --> 01:12:00,756 Fuck no, Félix! 496 01:12:00,836 --> 01:12:03,677 You quote Octavio Paz to every girl you sleep with. 497 01:12:04,276 --> 01:12:05,956 Don't say that crap to me! 498 01:12:07,076 --> 01:12:08,956 Us being together is self-evident, 499 01:12:09,037 --> 01:12:10,436 but we refused to see that. 500 01:12:11,596 --> 01:12:13,716 So it's normal to feel afraid. 501 01:12:14,596 --> 01:12:16,036 What's there to be afraid of? 502 01:12:18,596 --> 01:12:20,516 Well... 503 01:12:25,476 --> 01:12:27,356 Aren't we just afraid of ending up alone? 504 01:12:27,916 --> 01:12:28,876 No. 505 01:12:30,516 --> 01:12:32,236 I've always wanted to sleep with you. 506 01:12:32,316 --> 01:12:33,836 You want to sleep with everyone! 507 01:12:40,596 --> 01:12:41,596 I adore you. 508 01:12:43,597 --> 01:12:44,876 But I don't feel... 509 01:12:46,076 --> 01:12:48,476 that little inexplicable spark. 510 01:12:52,196 --> 01:12:55,397 So that's it, huh? You won't even give us a chance. 511 01:12:56,236 --> 01:12:57,317 Sorry. 512 01:12:57,396 --> 01:12:58,596 It isn't that. 513 01:13:00,317 --> 01:13:01,837 -Where are you going? -For a walk. 514 01:13:01,916 --> 01:13:04,916 -I'll come with you. -No. I'm going alone. 515 01:13:36,836 --> 01:13:38,076 -Are you mad at me? -No. 516 01:13:38,916 --> 01:13:40,196 -Are you sure? -Yes. 517 01:13:42,116 --> 01:13:44,596 -Should I stay for the reading? -Definitely not. 518 01:13:45,156 --> 01:13:47,156 It's more stressful with loved ones present. 519 01:13:48,276 --> 01:13:50,076 -We'll see each other soon. -Yep. 520 01:15:14,236 --> 01:15:15,596 What a fucking surprise! 521 01:15:18,076 --> 01:15:19,797 Was it you who spat at me? 522 01:16:38,636 --> 01:16:40,037 Are you leaving already? 523 01:16:41,036 --> 01:16:44,356 Don't tell me it's because of your reading. 524 01:16:47,717 --> 01:16:48,677 Beth... 525 01:16:51,196 --> 01:16:52,156 I'm sorry. 526 01:16:53,996 --> 01:16:55,157 I lied to you. 527 01:16:57,037 --> 01:16:59,996 I haven't written anything, not a single word. 528 01:17:01,956 --> 01:17:05,117 I'm not a writer. I need to accept that and move on. 529 01:17:06,237 --> 01:17:09,636 You should have told us you had hit a dry spell. 530 01:17:09,716 --> 01:17:13,556 So many residents have before you. 531 01:17:14,077 --> 01:17:17,836 We loved the first chapters of your novel. 532 01:17:17,917 --> 01:17:19,356 Just ask Oliver. 533 01:17:20,036 --> 01:17:23,556 He said that your first chapters were the most promising 534 01:17:23,637 --> 01:17:25,516 he had read in years. 535 01:17:26,876 --> 01:17:28,477 Thank you again for your kindness. 536 01:17:29,516 --> 01:17:30,637 I'll never forget you. 537 01:17:31,276 --> 01:17:32,957 I'm so sorry. 538 01:17:45,037 --> 01:17:46,476 The bus doesn't run on Sundays. 539 01:18:25,596 --> 01:18:27,396 Have you ever had the feeling 540 01:18:27,476 --> 01:18:29,556 you were made for something or someone? 541 01:18:30,757 --> 01:18:33,516 That it was just a matter of luck 542 01:18:34,317 --> 01:18:35,277 or timing? 543 01:18:35,876 --> 01:18:40,077 Are you talking about writing or your boyfriend? 544 01:18:40,157 --> 01:18:41,196 He isn't my boyfriend. 545 01:18:43,156 --> 01:18:45,517 And I'm sorry about what happened. 546 01:18:46,197 --> 01:18:47,477 I was talking about writing. 547 01:18:48,596 --> 01:18:50,276 I always found excuses. 548 01:18:50,357 --> 01:18:53,877 I thought conditions needed to be perfect to write. 549 01:18:54,997 --> 01:18:56,677 And that I had to experience 550 01:18:56,757 --> 01:18:58,476 interesting things to write but... 551 01:18:59,316 --> 01:19:00,956 that's all bullshit. 552 01:19:01,916 --> 01:19:03,316 At least I know that now. 553 01:19:05,117 --> 01:19:08,356 Writing is like ivy... 554 01:19:10,077 --> 01:19:14,597 like weeds and plants. It needs ruins to exist. 555 01:19:19,557 --> 01:19:20,836 Look for your ruins. 556 01:19:26,476 --> 01:19:28,877 Tramadol and Lexomil are on a boat. Who falls in? 557 01:19:29,397 --> 01:19:30,517 What? 558 01:19:30,596 --> 01:19:31,956 Nothing, forget it. 559 01:19:40,957 --> 01:19:41,956 Bye. 560 01:21:31,956 --> 01:21:33,237 <i>Are you at the Bergeronette?</i> 561 01:21:34,677 --> 01:21:35,637 Yes. 562 01:21:36,356 --> 01:21:39,717 You really shouldn't leave the keys under the flowerpots. 563 01:21:39,796 --> 01:21:42,317 It's the first place burglars look. 564 01:21:42,956 --> 01:21:44,757 You might as well leave the door open. 565 01:21:44,837 --> 01:21:45,917 <i>Agathe?</i> 566 01:21:46,877 --> 01:21:48,836 -What? -<i>You're such a pain.</i> 567 01:21:55,597 --> 01:21:56,557 <i>Are you okay?</i> 568 01:22:01,637 --> 01:22:04,997 <i>Well, I feel great joy</i> 569 01:22:05,077 --> 01:22:06,837 <i>and immense sadness too.</i> 570 01:22:08,477 --> 01:22:09,836 <i>I know, sweetie.</i> 571 01:22:10,516 --> 01:22:11,957 <i>It'll pass, you'll see.</i> 572 01:22:18,357 --> 01:22:20,116 <i>Remember what Dad used to say?</i> 573 01:22:21,117 --> 01:22:23,837 <i>"Literature is the only remedy</i> 574 01:22:23,917 --> 01:22:25,876 <i>for the disorder of thoughts and feelings."</i> 575 01:22:26,517 --> 01:22:29,156 <i>I never did get his theories.</i> 576 01:22:29,237 --> 01:22:32,357 <i>Dad kind of crushed you with his literature crap.</i> 577 01:22:33,077 --> 01:22:35,997 <i>Don't you think it's time you told him to piss off?</i> 578 01:22:37,237 --> 01:22:38,397 <i>He's dead, Mona.</i> 579 01:22:38,916 --> 01:22:40,717 <i>All the more reason.</i> 580 01:25:06,957 --> 01:25:08,157 {\an8}Dear Oliver, 581 01:25:08,237 --> 01:25:10,357 {\an8}Thank you for your gardening tips. 582 01:25:10,437 --> 01:25:13,797 {\an8}I found my ruins. 583 01:26:00,157 --> 01:26:02,117 -Hi! -Everyone okay? 584 01:26:05,437 --> 01:26:08,157 <i>Penetration is extremely painful...</i> 585 01:26:08,237 --> 01:26:09,557 Is this <i>The Lion King?</i> 586 01:26:15,717 --> 01:26:18,077 Excuse me, sorry. Thanks. 587 01:26:18,717 --> 01:26:20,797 There's a letter for you. It's on the fridge. 588 01:26:22,757 --> 01:26:25,717 <i>The hairs on the tip of the male's penis</i> 589 01:26:25,797 --> 01:26:27,357 <i>are as hard as spines</i> 590 01:26:28,077 --> 01:26:31,357 <i>but necessary to trigger ovulation in the female.</i> 591 01:26:34,677 --> 01:26:36,117 -Well? -Who's it from? 592 01:26:37,957 --> 01:26:41,637 An English publisher. He loved my novel. 593 01:26:41,717 --> 01:26:42,877 That's fantastic! 594 01:26:42,957 --> 01:26:45,157 Cheer up! Don't kill yourself out of joy. 595 01:26:45,237 --> 01:26:46,237 Smile! 596 01:26:47,477 --> 01:26:49,037 Congrats, old cow! 597 01:27:28,117 --> 01:27:30,358 There's a Jane Austen quote on the mirror. 598 01:27:32,877 --> 01:27:34,077 With my name on it! 599 01:27:34,877 --> 01:27:35,837 Great. 600 01:27:36,317 --> 01:27:37,717 Who made such a lame joke? 601 01:27:37,797 --> 01:27:41,437 Don't look at me! How would I know? 602 01:27:41,517 --> 01:27:42,557 You're weird. 603 01:27:58,637 --> 01:27:59,677 Thank you. 604 01:28:02,157 --> 01:28:05,357 And the final poem this evening 605 01:28:05,917 --> 01:28:07,437 is <i>Path</i> by Jack Hirschman. 605 01:28:08,305 --> 01:29:08,617 Do you want subtitles for any video? -=[ ai.OpenSubtitles.com ]=-